#I just want to be queer and in love and open about it and safe

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Also... Post-canon lovesong... If you even care... "Is Sparrow still with Rebecca?" that part is a choose your own adventure babeeey~

[hope-for-the-planet]

Trans person in the US. Bust some of the doomerism for me? Tell me it's going to be okay?

Hi Anon

Usually, I have boundaries for myself about keeping this blog focused on environment-related issues, because there are limits to what I can speak knowledgeably about. But now doesn’t feel like the time for that.

Anon, I will tell you that I live in the US, I am queer, my spouse is trans, and we have two young children. I am sitting right there with you in the fear and grief and every day when I ask myself “is there still hope” I find reasons to say “yes”.

They want us—all of us, not just queer folks—to feel overwhelmed and hopeless, because despair is a tool that keeps people from realizing their power and taking action.

They want us to feel so afraid that we lose our faith in other people and withdraw from our communities, because we are easier to conquer alone.

Do not give them what they want.

Hope is most necessary in the bad times. The ability to imagine a future that is better than things are now is exactly what gives us the power to begin making things better. Our community has been through terrible things before, and they did not lose hope or give up—otherwise we would not be where we are today.

When you start to feel like all the light is being blotted out, turn off the news, put away your phone, and go get in touch with something you love. Go outside and look at the sky, talk to a friend, listen to music, do some small thing to make something better even if it’s just cleaning your kitchen or picking up some litter around the block or returning an extra stranded cart in the grocery store parking lot. Remind your brain that you have agency to make positive change in the world through your actions.

I know it is really hard to pull out of the darkness sometimes. I know there will be days that hope seems like a foolish, naive thing, that despair and distrust seem like the only rational options. But hope is what keeps us alive. Hope is what allows us to save each other.

I wish I could give you a specific article or other source to reassure you that everything is going to be ok, but things are still too in flux day by day. I can tell you that people are already fighting back, in big and little ways, all over this country and the world. These orders and bills are being pushed by a loud but small minority—this is not how the majority of the country feels about trans rights.

Make a plan for staying safe. Reach out to your community. Find music, activities, podcasts, movies, whatever helps you feel uplifted and take mental breaks from dwelling on the news. If you can, find ways to get involved in making things better in whatever big or small way feels doable for you--it may help push back on the doomerism more than you think. And my inbox is open if you need to talk.

I wish I could invite you over for dinner. I wish I could look into your eyes and tell you that things may get hard for the next few years but that does not mean that your life can't still be full of joy and beauty and fulfillment in spite of that.

I’m right there with you. Let’s make it through this together <3

[wiltedwish]

Hey, pssssst— if you are looking for something to listen while washing dishes, I've got a list just for you,

● If you're into dark academia but with more trauma, less studying, mysterious British guys who emotionally malfunction, and horror stories that make you say “mood”. Try The Magnus Archives.

● If you’re into small towns where everything’s a little off (actually, a lot), radio hosts who are way too calm about it, and bizarre, inexplicable occurrences that are totally fine, then you’ve found your new home in Welcome to Night Vale.

Tune in, stay safe (or don’t), and remember:

the sheriff's secret police definitely aren’t listening.

● If you’re into road trips that go way off the beaten path, chasing something you can’t explain, and a haunting mystery that’ll make you question every car that drives by—

then Alice Isn’t Dead is your new obsession.

Buckle up, drive safely, and the people you’re looking for might be looking for you, too.

● Does the phrase “amnesiac eldritch horror with a thesaurus” excite you?

It does? Oh, you little freak.

Then you definitely need to try Malevolent. Also there is whimpering, male whimpering.

● Ever wonder what happens when you trap a bunch of dysfunctional coworkers on a spaceship with limited resources, a suspicious number of near-death experiences, and one emotionally complex AI? You get Wolf 359.

It’s like The Office—but in space, with more trauma bonding and fewer HR rules. Next time you're on a spaceship… check the air supply.

● Are you looking for unsettling horror, a sentient city and unreliable reality? Are you looking for a monotonous narration? Are you looking for I'm in Eskew?

Think.

● Have you ever wondered if your summer camp was just a little... off? Like, dangerously quirky?

Maybe it has a nurse with questionable credentials, several mental disorders, and an unsettling love for worms?

No? You haven't? Weird. Camp Here and There.

● Hello from the Hallowoods. A forest where the trees remember. Where silence isn’t empty—it's waiting.

The world as you knew it ended here. But the story? That’s just beginning.

Listen closely. You might not like what you hear.

● There are things that lurk behind the veil of normal. Objects that don’t follow physics. Creatures that don’t obey God.

They find them. They contain them. They pretend the world is still safe.

You were never meant to know. SCP Foundation.

● If you’ve ever clipped through reality and landed in a buzzing yellow hallway that never ends...

Congratulations. You’re already a traveler.

This guide won’t save you. But it might tell you what not to look at.

The Traveler’s Guide to the Backrooms. Mind the damp. And the screaming.

● Now, if you’re like me and sometimes can’t handle complex storylines, freeze up every time a new character shows up, or feel too lazy to open the wiki just to remember who that guy from episode 3 was? I get it.

Try Tales from the Breakroom, Unexplained Encounters or anything from Eriecast Network.

Enjoy the horrors and forget when the episode ends.

● Do you know Japan holds events where people gather to exchange scary stories? Cool, right.

God, I wish my country did too, since it doesn't I guess I have to listen to Kaiden: Japanese Scary stories.

● Do you like magic, dragons, daring quests… and unexpected romantic tension?

The Two Princes is a fantasy audio drama where two rival princes set out to save their kingdoms—and accidentally fall in love along the way. It’s got sword fights, sass, heartfelt moments, and enough gay yearning to power a castle.

If you’ve ever wanted a fairy tale that’s charming, funny, and unapologetically queer—this is it. Adventure awaits. So does Prince Amir. (And he’s very handsome.)

● Love and Luck podcast is a sweet, queer love story told through voicemails—with a touch of magic. Set in Melbourne, it’s about building love, community, and kindness. Short episodes, big heart, no tragic endings. Just good vibes and quiet enchantment.

● Maybe you are not looking for fiction but real things, true crimes, perhaps that send chills down your spine thinking how can humans be like this? as cherry on top?

Look no further for you are looking for Crimehub: A true crime podcast.

● What if vampires were less “terrifying monster” and more “dramatic queer disaster”?

All Vampires Are Gay is a bold, funny, and emotional audio drama that reclaims vampire lore with sharp fangs and sharper wit.

[genericpuff]

I've been griping about the normalization of identity outing via social media for a while now. To put it simply, it's become almost some weird societal requirement that if you don't have every detail listed about yourself in your Twitter/FB/etc. bio, then it means you have "something to hide" or that you're not as "verifiable" because your account looks indistinct from that of a bot.

But that societal norm has really only benefited the people who profit off of that information in some way, whether it's through selling user data or through weaponizing details about a person against them.

I know that a lot of us love to use the fun little labels and acronyms in our bio that help others like us identify us as a 'safe person' or as someone who's in the same social/racial/identity groups as them. We're humans, we love to categorize things, it's in our nature (and it's fun!)

But if there's any time to start regulating that habit and challenging the norm that you're obligated to include all your personal info online - it's now.

There was a time when sock puppet accounts were expected and typical, not "suspicious".

There was a time when even age-sex-location was considered "too much information", but once it became the norm, we only EVER gave our personal information beyond generic ASL to people who we knew both online and in real life, or at the very least, people who we had known online for a significant enough amount of time that they had proved to be trustworthy (and even then, we didn't owe that information to anyone, ever; there are forum friends who I made online 10+ years ago and still talk to who do not know my personal information beyond broad strokes).

There was a time when simply being an avatar with a funny username was enough. And it still is enough, but massive platforms like Facebook and Twitter have been brainwashing us for years to believe that's not the case, under the guise of, "You wouldn't want to be dishonest, would you?" Through these same norms, we were led to believe that anime profile pictures are cringe, that having a fake online name is stupid, that the photos of you having fun at social events have to be taken JUST right otherwise you might imply to others that you're not actually having fun.

And considering how long these platforms have been around now, we have entire generations of children now who have been born and raised on that version of the ZuckMusk web, who have been taught that it "protects them" to express to everyone publicly their age, their school, their workplace, their family members, everything about themselves, because to not do so would be disingenuous.

None of this is to imply that the Internet was "safer" back in the day. I definitely should not have been on the Internet as much as I was when I was 13 in the late 2000's, it definitely did not benefit my brain development or my social skills. But the version of the Internet we currently exist in now is one that's been predicated on the false sense of security - the belief that if you're honest, everyone else has to be, too.

We've always had ways of identifying our safe people - by participating in the communities that we know are designed around our hobbies, our interests, our people. They might be small, they might not be as "cool" as the idea of netting yourself a big following of thousands of people, but they're also a lot safer and more genuine than that idealized following ever could be.

Don't feel pressured to include every bit of information about yourself in your bio. Even on Facebook, there's no rule that says you have to list your workplace, your school, your family members. There's no rule that says you have to list your personality type, queer labels, and neurodivergent disorders in your Twitter bio. There's no rule that you have to "prove" your life is real and fulfilled through the verification of photos, location tagging, and open-book sharing. If you share those photos, it should be because you genuinely want to share them, not because you feel some societal pressure to live up to others' expectations.

And I guarantee you, even your local mutuals on Facebook - your former classmates, family friends, distant relatives, coworkers, etc. - do not actually give that much of a damn about your personal life that they should be owed that much of a look into it on a daily basis. They've got their own shit going on, they literally do not need to know every detail about you.

I know it sounds scary. It also sounds kind of boring, when we've been used to a certain "way" of browsing and participating for years, that if we don't do so, it feels like being in the "out group" and that we're "breaking the rules". But I promise you, after spending over half my life online, those rules do not exist or benefit anyone who wouldn't profit off that information.

If you're wanting to learn how to branch off from major platforms like Facebook and Twitter and/or become more self-sufficient online, here are some guides to navigating the Internet like an old schooler that may help you!

FREE SITE BUILDER:

DIGITAL PIRACY 101:

(also in addition to everything mentioned here ^^^ they neglect to also mention Tor Browser which is a light and free-to-use browser software that allows you to browse anonymously; note that it's similar to a VPN in that it helps hide your identity online, HOWEVER it won't mask you from your ISP quite as effectively as a VPN, and if you sign into personal accounts with Tor, that's still going to obviously out you online lmao but I love using Tor for the odd time when I need to make a sock puppet for something and don't want it linked to my IP! and unlike a VPN, it's free to use!)

LEARN HOW TO USE RSS FEEDS:

People still use these! They're especially helpful for getting updates from your favorite pages and sites directly to your browser WITHOUT having to worry about stupid algorithm bullshit picking and choosing what you see. And many sites DO have RSS support once you know how to find it! (like adding in /rss at the end of a URL! Like this!)

FAKE EMAIL SERVICES:

LEARN HOW TO CODE IN HTML/CSS/JAVASCRIPT (AND MORE!):

DECENTRALIZED SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS:

I hope this helps arm you with some new knowledge in how to navigate the Internet like a Certified Old Person™️(like meeee!) Make your secret alt blogs for besties! Make your formal Facebook accounts that are clean of personal information and present the most neutral, safe-for-work version of yourself and keep the fun stuff to the secret profiles and chat groups that are just for you and friends/family/etc!! It might be "inconvenient" to have multiple accounts for the same purpose, but it's also INCREDIBLY freeing and can make your online experience both safer and more enjoyable.

Being "less" of yourself online does not make you any less you. It is your identity - you do not owe any amount of it to anyone beyond yourself. And in times like these, your identity is your greatest asset. Protect it.

[theysies]

wishing all crowdkillers a very painful day. u must taste what u inflict.

for real, crowdkilling doesn't make you punk, it makes you a dangerous asshole who clearly doesn't care about the health and safety of those in your community. quite literally the opposite of punk.

last night after getting badly injured by some cis dude during a song about, by, and for lesbians, someone told me it was my "fault for going to the show". no it's fucking not. attending a show is not an open invitation to be maimed.

punk should be accessible for disabled people. punk is largely FOR and BY disabled people. anybody that says "well if you're disabled then you shouldn't go" can fuck themselves into oblivion. it was OUR show. an event put on and performed by disabled queers. FOR DISABLED QUEERS. ALWAYS.

disabled people have just as much right to attend events as you do. in fact I'd argue we have more of a right to be there bc we don't constantly put the general public at risk of bodily harm.

we should be able to attend our own shows without the risk of life changing injuries bc some dude is taking his anger out on a bunch of strangers.

don't get me wrong, I love moshing. mosh all u want, but have some fucking etiquette and remember that not everybody is healthy and able bodied. and they especially wont be if yall keep hurting everyone.

punk is about community. it's about caring for eachother and creating a safe place for people to express themselves. it is NOT about being violent or destructive, or seeing how many innocent people you can mow down. if you do that shit you're not punk, you're just an asshole.

[likelysobbing]

hiiiii can u do kk dating hcs please? btw you’re a really good writer!!!

𖥻 TRU-LY FRU-ITY. kk arnold x lowkeynpc!reader headcanons ! !!

synopsis: sol yaps about an npc reader and kk fallign inlove because sol loves kk so much to the point if she doesn’t watch herself (she does) it’s borderline parasocial. thx. kk dating headcanons but indepth.

notes: dawg i went crazy on this sorry about that nonnie i didn’t mean to make u wait so long… love u, btw. thank u so much 🤍 also that title was the only one i could think off STOP IT its so cute isnt it its SO cute

cw: it goes first meeting -> when kk and reader realize they’re inlove -> confession -> ACTUAL dating headcanons. i make stupid references to old lives. npc!reader is default reader because i want to keep this as general as possible. this is not proofread. i use 😝 emoji alot. also, i am crazy. OK LET’S GET IT STARTEDD 📣📣📣

let’s set the stage— say, you’re here, you’re queer, even—and you’re a student at uconn. but that’s… lowkey it. you’re a student at uconn, nothing particularly spectacular—you study, maybe you go out for drinks if you’re feeling a little brave, you do what you need to do to live. every day was routine—wake up, go with the flow, go to bed. you were fine with that. it just meant you … protected your peace too hard, and that’s a good thing! nothing’s out to get you, because half the time no one’s able to pair your face to a name. your life? it’s peaceful!

and then you happened to see kamorea ‘kk’ arnold drop a pen while she was walking through campus.

she was joking around with her friends, jumping around, acting silly, and forgot that her backpack was open. she was lucky she didn’t drop anything else. you happened to have seen that pen drop out of her bag, and initially you were going to ignore it. you wanted to get to class early, and maybe returning a pen to one of the most notorious extroverts on campus (who, even worse, has NOT seen your face) wasn’t a good idea if you wanted to be smart with your time.

and you didn’t know what came over you, but you picked up the pen and walked straight to her. she was mid-laugh when you tapped her shoulder, and she turned. “oh—“ she flinched, turning to you and muttering a small “yo.”

immediately, kk checked you out. and not in the way one usually would (the way you wished she was checking you out), but in a who-are-you-you’re-so-socially-dead-i-can’t-even-remember-your-face way. to spare yourself the small talk, you wasted no more time— “your pen,” you said, handing her her writing utensil. she looked at the pen as if it was suddenly spouting ink, blinking slowly. when she looked up? you were already walking away.

so basically, it was all the pen’s doing.

ever since that faithful encounter, it’s safe to say that kk began noticing you more. once just a blur of features in a crowd full of faces, you’re now the one she sees first. she sees you more often, and realizes that you’re in a lot of the same places at the same time. that intrigues her.

ice says something about it when she talks about you; they’re in the basketball facility warming up with the rest of the team, stretching a bit— making light, funny conversation on the way. the topic of people gets brought up, and kk mentions you. she’s yapping, “it’s like, she’s a whole wallflower or something—but she got friends! she got friends. just not a lot. and i been seeing her around lately, and we’re in alot of the same places so i’m like?? why i ain’t seen her here before?? so now im just wonderin’ what her deal is.” meanwhile, ice side-eyes her.

“have you talked to her yet?” ice asks, and the team looks to kk… who doesn’t even wanna talk no more after that.

eventually, she does end up talking to you. this time, she sees you drop your pen and comes running up to you—she sees an opportunity, but all you see is.. just her. and her eyes twinkling brighter than usual.

“yo, you dropped your pen this time,” she laughed, and you smiled awkwardly, gave her a little “thank you” and expected it to be done just like that.

it wasn’t.

you walked away and she ran to your side, and then she just… started talking. she didn’t even introduce herself formally. she just said ‘i’m kk, by the way,’ which wasn’t a problem, because you already knew she was more than that. this was kamorea arnold. uconn basketball star, the lovely little burst of energy, the happy little—aaandd she just stumbled on the shell of a snail.

“oh, i’m sorry y’all— sorry y’all, sorry y’all—“

you didn’t even know who she was talking to. there was only you and the snail. and then you realized she was talking to you and the snail, which is why she was saying ‘y’all’.

and that was when you knew you were in for it. and… lowkey into her.

okay set up done!

kk and you really hit it off. turns out, you didn’t need to speak much for her to speak. kk just needed to know you were listening. and you showed her you did— you hummed at the right time, you laughed at the funniest jokes, you grinned in confusion when she spoke about basketball (which led to a very passionate ramble about basketball), you gasped at every twist, you did all the right things—but …

pair kk’s lovely personality, her beautiful laugh, her eagerness to speak to you and just… her in her entirety? banger combination.

you did all the right things, but you fell at the wrong time. you fell hard, for her.

you didn’t know she fell harder.

like, literally and figuratively. i think it’d be funny that kk once thought her eyes lingering too long on your lips, her hands twitching to hold your own or to even touch your skin was completely borne of platonic attraction or festering romantic attraction that she could move on from. her epiphany that she is inlove with you comes during half time. she’s in the zone, sipping from her lil water bottle, and then she finds her eyes wandering throughout the stands. she doesn’t know why— she just finds herself looking for a certain… devoted pen returner. she realizes you’re not there, and that you’re probably studying, and that makes her pout.

she wants your eyes on her. she wants you to look at her, to see her in her element, maybe to see her catch a little attitude—but she wants you to see her. she wants you to see her!

or maybe she just wants you.

it’s something she comes to terms with in the middle of a crowd so loud that the voice in her head can’t echo against it’s confines. she wants you. it’s clear, resolute—and absolutely exhilarating.

it horrifies her, don’t get her wrong; she didn’t see it coming, nor did she expect it to be so strong the moment she realized, but that’s also whats so exhilarating. love is so unexpected!

regardless, even with all her spunk, kk hesitates. she doesn’t necessarily stop yapping your ear off, but it’s like her words get more calculated—she pauses more, and when you look to see if she is still mentally present, you find yourself locking eyes with her before she shakes her head and talks about another topic. you catch her staring a good twenty or more times in the span of three days and you start to get a little… suspicious…

but you stay, anyway. because why wouldn’t you? she’s cool.

she’s so cool.

and then the sun so bright happens.

it’s not anything big—it happened so spontaneously; kk didn’t plan anything. as soon as you asked why she was even here, it just slipped out. and it worked.

kk asked you to be her girlfriend with a hand on top of yours and what might have been the first shy smile you ever saw from her. she said, and i quote, “so are we… you know like, you know..” and you just had to tilt your head and make her say it.

“bro. bro—“ this girl is such a wuss she can’t even look you in the eye and yet…

“no, no because— what are we? what do you want us to be?” you STAY insufferably oblivious on PURPOSE lmfao.

“broOohmygee… can i . be your girlfriend.”

“of course, k.”

BOOM SHAKALAKA YES LORD YOU BAGGED FYNE SHYTTT 😝 now onto the actual dating headcanons!!

early into the relationship she starts out how she treated you whilst you were still friends, but with the little quirk that you’re going out on dates now, she grins whenever she talks about you to a degree it’s concerning, and she invites you out to her games. and she’s also shy when it comes to romantic affection.

but let’s say you’re long past that awkward phase now.

kk’s an extrovert, always jumping around from place to place—sharing laughter with people, filming tiktoks, living her best life. she’s also, lowkey, famous. there is not a game in which she isn’t signing someones shirt after, and you know because you’ve checked. meanwhile, you are just a student trying to get by at uconn…

but! to kk, you’re everything. it’s why no matter how extroverted she is, if you’re more on the introverted side—she’d love you all the same and adapt to your needs; need to leave a party? done, maybe kk will stay back a bit—you understand she needs to have her fun— but she’ll call an uber for you, keep updates on your location via the life 360 circle you guys have labelled ‘completely platonic relationship’ (you do not have a completely platonic relationship).

she’s quite protective—she doesn’t keep her eyes off the life 360 map until she sees you’ve arrived back at the dorms (which she, silly as she is, has labelled as ‘homebase’ in your circle). whenever you’re out, kk texts you at random times to see if you’re still out there and safe. it’s not even a ‘proof of life?’ sometimes its just a picture of the tru fru she got and all you really need to do is respond “yummy”

she always has a hand on you. waist, hips, shoulder, back of your neck, whatever it is— she has to feel you next to her when she knows you’re next to her. she’ll be on her phone in one hand, and you’ll be leaning into her shoulder and she just pulls you in closer (#nonchalant while doing it to. but in her head she’s going hehehehehehhehe😝😝)

outside of that she’s not all that affectionate. she’ll have a hand on your waist, but its really all about whether or not you lean in. she’ll always reciprocate your affection but won’t make a move to initiate it in public. in private, however, you know this girl lays on top of you and sleeps. she don’t move. she’s on top of you, in a star fish position, with her eyes closed.

in private she’s all hugs and making grabby hands at you because she can get a bit needy. she’ll probably do random things to catch your attention, and then just ask for a kiss when she has you.

“kk, what the hell—“ you jumped, eyes widening at the sudden influx of tru fru bags on your bed. kk shrugged, unblinking before crawling onto your bed herself, “they were on sale.” she murmured, “‘kay,” before inching closer to you—“give me kisses.”

i feel like kk would also spoil you but in the stupidest way. like you guys would genuinely get into arguments over who would pay and kk would be breaking her wrist pushing your hand down and forcing the cashier to take her cash.

“come on, kk, you paid last time—“

“i don’t REMEMBER. last time. …. let me pay.”

and sometimes she will literally shove your hand back onto your side and slam her card/ cash down onto the register. im not playing. like she doesnt even fight you on it the moment you try to take out your wallet she grips your wrist and pays before you can even get money out

but don’t get me wrong— kk likes to be pampered. sometimes she’ll let you pay—when she does, she sticks her tongue out and giggles and kicks her feet like 😝😝😝 ayeeeeeee…… or sometimes she does that little thing where she gives you a backhug and kisses your cheek do you people know what im talking about. its so funny to me. shes like ‘thank you🥰’

but she prefers to be pampered in a different way! she likes to be considered, for lack of a better word. she likes it when you give her the warm-hot cookies from crumbl because you know she doesn’t like cold cookies, she likes when you leave her tru fru ALONE, she likes when you come to her games and do your best to get a front row seat — she looooves. LOVES. when you consider her, and what she might want. everytime she sees you she’s like that one “ariana what are you doing here ?! 😆” meme shes so jolly my woman bro my woman

also she probably refers to you as ‘my baby’, or ‘my girl’, or maybe like ‘my lady’ if she’s feelin’ a bit lovey dovey. if we’re talking about endearments, i don’t think kk would be a ‘ma’ or ‘mama’ girl. she’d be like, ‘bae’, ‘baby’, ‘schnookums’, ‘pookie!’ even. sometimes when she’s soft she’ll call you ‘lover’. in terms of what you call her, there’s the obvious ‘kk’ and what other usual endearments you use, but kk melts whenever you use ‘baby’ I KNOW IT I KNOW IT GUYS IM PUSHING THE ‘kk loves being babied’ AGENDA LEAVE ME ALONE

the type of girlfriend to put bunny ears behind your head during photos and make you look goofy. she says you look cute, but you’re always cute to her so don’t trust that

the type of girlfriend to point at you whenever she scores a point. also the type of girlfriend to point at you whenever she thinks she’s about to score, and if she misses she’s like… “i’ma walk that off, y’all… i’ma walk that off…”

she’s so lovely 💔

she doesn’t necessarily speak ABOUT you a lot to the team, but she makes such frequent references she might as well just ramble about you forever. she genuinely doesn’t mean to. you’re like the only thing constantly on her mind. i know paige grills her for it too zon’t play… also, ICE. ice gets at her for it. everyone bugs her in their own ways because they don’t know you personally so they’re like “who’s she? who’s your girl?” and kk’s like “my girl’s my girl…? duh”

“you really can’t go a day without yappin’ about her huh, kk?” paige drawled, slumping against the gym bleachers as she nodded towards uconn’s #2, who was … minding her business. prior to the statement, paige was simply talking about how hot it was outside, and how connecticut is never usually this hot and ‘that says a lot’ and miss kamorea arnold just butts in like: “my girl said it was really hot out too. that’s why i decided to go light on my fit, if that’s the right word. light .. or like whatever y’all wanna call it…”

it’s ALWAYS an ‘oh, my girl—‘ with her i swear. but! despite their annoyance with kk always mentioning you, the team meeting you would be a fun event! trUST. trust. truuust. no teasing whatsoever involved.

— on kk’s mood swings or sadder moods, she wouldn’t wanna go to you at first, scared that you might end up making it worse without meaning to or she’ll say something out of pocket, but the moment you come to her alone, when she tries to isolate herself? when you open your arms and just walk towards her? when she finds herself melting into you, hands on your hips, lips to the space between your shoulder and neck and there is just love and nothing but love in the air? regardless of whether you say something to her or not, you didn’t even have to say anything. you don’t need to. kk still knew then. you got her locked in with you, and hard.

kk always seems to shine a little brighter with you. (haha reference to my old fic im hilarious)!

the publicity of the relationship? not very public. infact it’s giving private but not secret. she doesn’t post you lots but she tags you enough for the fandom to know shes off the market fs. i feel like kk, as silly and goofy as she is, is a very private person and this would extend towards you. it’s like she doesn’t put you in the spotlight because she doesn’t want to overwhelm you with the sting of the light.

but that’s okay, because kk’s your sunshine, and so long as she keeps her own light— her own hands— on even a patch of your skin? aslong as you’re still hers? there is no doubt in your, or her, mind that together is what you are meant to be, and here— whereever here is— is where you are meant to stay.

tl;dr sol loves kk so bad

@likelysobbing.

[xxgothchatonxx]

In Dracula, Lucy's whole arc is is also very much a tragedy, because she is introduced as a 19 year old full of life and hope, confined by her mother, but eager to go into adulthood with the person she fell in love with, and who we see is a decent guy who cares about her and listens to her (unlike Hutter, Holmwood presses Lucy to tell him exactly what her symptoms are and calls his doctor friend). She wants to spend her last summer unwed with her best friend, only for Dracula to afflict her throughout, like a plague. And after thinking she's safe, she's dying, but she keeps fighting for her life and having hope each time she's saved, because she wants to play tennis and fish and ride again. But never able to tell what is happening to her body, always kept in the dark, until she finally violently is torn apart, alone, with her dead mother on top of her, stifling her yet. And as she dies weak and tired on her birthday, a half monster, she's unable to kiss her love because of her viral bloodlust. She then ends up getting killed by the stake and bonesaw on her wedding day. Mina's letters to her asking to come visit were never opened.

The problem is, 99% of directors do this story the opposite of what Eggers did: Turn it into a punishment for Lucy, who is now nothing but vain, promiscuous, spoiled, opens her windows and throws away the garlic to let Dracula in, and sometimes tempts men to cheat. Van Helsing will call her Satan's whore, the audience is relieved they don't have to cry for a dead woman who had it coming, and she ends up being just a display for how strong and irresistable the villain is. You cry for Ellen at the end. In most Dracula adaptations, not even Mina cries for her because she's too busy being into her best friend's killer.

I couldn't agree more, nonnie. (Though I do love Thomas)

Lucy Westenra is one of the most consistently poorly adapted characters I've ever seen. The closest that I can think of that treated Lucy with a fraction of respect was "Lucy Billington" in The Invitation. She was sweet, kind, and even though she was on the villain's side (though i wonder if she was forced into it by her family...), she was clearly stuck in a terrible situation that she regretted at the end. And I was sad when she died. Look, my expectations on "Lucy" portrayals are so low, I will gladly take these crumbs of attempted depth!

The Coppola version is bullshit, the NBC version can go to hell with their biphobic attempt at "progressive queer representation", and the Moffat show... you know, I remember watching that with my bestie who is all too familiar with Moffat's bullshit. We had fun with the show but when they pulled that shit with Lucy, my bestie said "yep... fucking told you he'd do this..."

Which is just baffling because it cannot be that difficult to get Lucy right! Her story is a tragedy, not a "and that's why you shouldn't be a Slut" cautionary tale, for fuck's sake!

The Lucy character in Nosferatu, Anna Harding, was done very well, I thought. Sad she was stuck with a loser like Friedrich (i mean, they were in love... but Fred was a loser) but her friendship with Ellen was so sweet, same with her love for her daughters. It's a case where I knew her death was coming but while it made me sad, it didn't make me angry. And Ellen had the correct reaction to seeing her best friend being attacked by the asshole vampire who was stalking Ellen! Screams of terror and rage towards said asshole vampire! (Well, his rats, but same diff)

Once again, the Dracula fanfiction has a better understanding of Dracula characters than actual Dracula adaptations. Because god forbid we see Dracula as the monster he has always been!

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 2x15, "clueless"

"love will make you do wrong" oh i'm sure.

this is one of those recaps where i'm definitely just reiterating what the writers were putting down, but it's so insane that it bears in-depth repeating imo.

please believe me when i say this rewatch project's goal is a wholistic view of the entire series. yet, with that in mind, you can imagine the stress i feel when what seems like an episode devoted entirely to unpacking intimate interpersonal relationships has hilson as the fulcrum. and not just hilson - equal character development for both house and wilson as the domesticity shenanigans unfold.

that's not to downplay the patient story - it's crazy, and i'm kind of obsessed with it. the zebra factor is probably way off the charts, but i love the extra sherlockian vibe and the confirmation that house md can, in fact, do shock value without throwing entire identities under the bus (@ 2x13). all that plus the horror movie opening? golden (lmfao).

from the top, then. look at his triangle ass stance here:

we can safely say, i'd argue, that 2000s audiences were supposed to laugh at how much wilson cares about his appearance; i'm laughing, too, but in a 2020s Woke Queer Way. and house lasts just one night with wilson crashing on his couch before he says that this won't work; his domestic sphere has been invaded by someone he doesn't know how to account for, at least not in this capacity. one of the things we know about house thus far is that routine is immeasurably valuable to him.

it also kills me how devastated wilson is to hear that house wants him out, along with his sassy retort about house's hair, or "what's left of it." gagged.

this entire episode is based on the (heterosexual) domicile. it also devotes a lot of time qualifying the patient and his partner, bob and maria, as Sexually Freaky (tm). they upend traditional notions of marriage, partnership, and sex through their kinks/bdsm, including consensual noncon sex. the team leaps to the initial conclusion that bob's sudden suffocation comes from repeated history of rough sex, which is quickly disproven.

maria and bob's sex life absolutely boggles everyone's minds...except for cameron's lol. the growing fluidity with which she treats relationships as some of her convictions adapt (not dissolve! just shift!) is really interesting to me, like it interests chase, too lol.

2x15 persistently deconstructs maria and bob's personal lives until its full ugliness is on display (while unforch being a little kink-shamey, but we can look past this). despite their insistence that they're happy, maria is secretly poisoning her husband. despite their pristine home, what takes place in there is only thinly disguised intermarital violence. cameron's bet on their happiness falls flat on its face, and house md argues that a frontward functional relationship will always be plagued with deeper issues.

those issues are not represented visually, however! let's contrast the 2 major sites of domesticity in this episode:

foreman's remarks that maria and bob keep an impeccably clean place contrasts with wilson's general opinion of house's apartment. over the seasons, we see house's place in various states of disarray, though it's chock full of his personality and history, whereas maria and bob's place is just cold, 2000s chic. this reinforces the subliminal distance between maria and bob and captures the degree to which wilson is invited into house's personal life.

next i want to tackle the emphasis on food, poisoning, and choking in 2x15. i thought it was a silly bullet point in my notes until i actually sat down to right this (like literally in this moment!). after repeatedly arguing that bob was poisoned with heavy metals, house eventually lands on the theory that maria is behind it. it's not until the end does 2x15 reveal that she's been dosing his food with gold (don't ask me the full name lmfao), scarring his lungs over time.

meanwhile, in stuffed pepper, pancake, salad, and sandwich land:

house pretends to find the bell peppers stinky but takes a liking to the rest of wilson's cooking immediately. no poison to be had here. in an outwardly dysfunctional domestic situation, food sharing (however reluctant) is a net positive. wilson's final note warning house off his lunch is closer to a joke than a formal warning:

if it's not clear, i'm casting house as maria and wilson as bob in this off-kilter domesticity parallel, and a subtle but brilliant example of this comes at the very end. while maria is taken away in handcuffs, house rushes back home on his motorcycle. while foreman and chase inform bob that maria was trying to kill him, wilson sleeps soundly on house's couch. viewers are also treated to al green's "love and happiness" in the background, with the very poignant lyric: "love will make you do wrong."

everything about house/wilson and maria/bob is reversed, along with their respective "wrongs." 2x15 is funny and crazy enough to suggest that house deleting the message about wilson's apartment is symbolically akin to maria killing bob slowly over time. look how they both gaze upon their domestic partners - one with faux guilt on their face, and the other with faux annoyance:

i've spent all this time building to the following argument: in pretending that he hates having wilson around, 2x15 subverts the assumed happiness brought on by a heteronormative domestic space. as much as maria pretends to love bob, house pretends to hate living with wilson. maria tries to remove bob from her domestic (and from this earth lol) while house tries to keep wilson around. we spend an entire episode unearthing how sinister a sexually charged heterosexual marriage can be, only to arrive at the house and wilson dynamic of it all.

i'm not even strictly hilson posting here, just highlighting how bizarre it is in that 2000s network tv decided to deconstruct heteronormativity, however intentionally/unintentionally. it's not my fault that wilson has to make everything about sex. and that every moment of this episode is about sex except for the moments spent between house and wilson.

lastly, one of the concluding scenes between house and the fellows is a nice example of audience/house solidarity, something the entire show does subtly throughout to get us squarely in his headspace. the four of them are ruminating over what could possibly motivate someone to kill their partner, which cameron seems especially appalled by.

in response, house makes a slew of interesting deductions: "maybe she just got tired of being married. didn't want to admit to family and friends that the marriage everyone thought was perfect wasn't."

i call this house solidarity because we know for a fact that he's talking about wilson's situation...but who within his marriage? we never meet julie (which, apart from the unfortunate fridging, i think is a good narrative choice), so we don't get her side of the story or understand if/how she's been open about her and wilson's separation. all we know, and all that house cares to know, is that wilson's marriage isn't perfect.

this next bit is informed by my hilson brain, but there's been a subtle thrill in house in the face of wilson's separation. i get the sense that he hopes he's talking about wilson here, that he hopes wilson got tired of being married because things (in the aforementioned heteronormative relationship!) are imperfect. and, as if to secure this hope, he deletes the message about the apartment while looking especially smug.

this line of dialogue also does some work in acknowledging wilson's vulnerability. like the patient in 2x14 suggested, we can't be afraid to look stupid. by nature of showing up at house's door, he's admitted that things aren't perfect. that's their give-and-take; wilson lets house in emotionally while house lets wilson in physically. given house's reliance on routine and privacy, this is an equal exchange.

here's my actual final note: why can't wilson realize that he has a real love language? FOOD! and acts of service! you don't just have to sleep with everyone you love! there are other ways to express these things! you literally had a spoon at the ready for house! and you seem so secretly pleased when he doesn't hate the taste!

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’m gonna loosely rant without direction for a minute.

I’ve been thinking a lot about being trans and religious in the last few days. I’m not exactly sure why. It’s just that this one thing keeps coming back to haunt me.

I’ve been happier and closer to God than ever before since I started transitioning. Never once have I felt that God had a problem with me being trans. My soul feels cleaner, happier, more open to the Holy Spirit even with all the other problems and anxieties in my life taken into account because even in my darkest moments now I’m still being my full self.

The thing that’s been bothering me is all these people out there who think I’m doing religion wrong because I’m not being who God made me to be or something when I feel like I’m being more of who God made me to be every day I get further away from the closet. God made my spirit and my mind just as much as he made my body so why is my body supposed to be the only factor in that?

What really bothers me is that people want me to give up what makes me happy, what strengthened my faith even, and go back to being sad and disconnected. And for what? Believing their interpretation of God is more valid than mine? For their comfort that’s for some reason more important than my comfort?

I would really like to work in a church or a religious college. I really would. But jobs with accepting congregations are few and far between. I feel like I have to spend my life moving between safe islands. I need to find my safe pockets and keep other Christians at a distance. And I hate that I have to do that. It weighs so heavily on me sometimes that they don’t believe my faith story.

I used to be the sort of person who would jump up and share my faith story at every opportunity with other Christians because I’m a convert that has stuck with my faith even through hard times. People love that shit. But now that my gender is a part of my story I feel like I either need to keep my mouth shut or lie. And I don’t want to lie so I keep my mouth shut.

I don’t really have a point to this I guess. I just wish I didn’t need to play a balancing act in order to be a queer Christian. Act less religious in queer spaces, act less queer in Christian spaces. There’s such small pockets of life I can fully be both in happily and loudly with no friction from other people.

Because all the friction between my faith and my queerness has always always come from other people. Never from my beliefs, never from my gender, never from my God. Other people. Other people keep trying to insert themselves in between me and God and go hey that’s not right you should feel bad about that. But like. I don’t. I can’t. I won’t and you can’t make me. The thing making me feel bad is that other people want me to feel bad. Other people want me to be miserable for their convenience. I hate that. That’s the worst bit for me about being queer and Christian. Is learning just how little other people value the happiness of strangers.

[signanothername]

Could we have some soft/comfort headcannons about anyone of your choosing? It's election night and I really would like something soft for my brain to chew on instead of worry all night

Absolutely!

Imma give you a bunch of different little guys <333

———

Killer:

-his cats help him a lot with sleep problems, they make him calm enough to the point of actually closing his eyes whenever he’s with them (reminder that he usually sleeps with one eye open xhxbbx)

-after he’s saved, he gradually becomes better at eating, he still avoids food that reminds him of the past but becomes more accepting of other types of food, eventually getting his bone mass and weight back, going from lanky to chubby <3333

-he eventually accepts the state of his soul and instead of trying to fix it, he tries to understand it, understand himself, he becomes a lot more gentle with his own self

———

Color:

-he has albums upon albums full of pictures he took over the years, filled with places he visited, pictures of people he loves and moments he cherishes

-he’s very connected with so many people, and a lot of people find him to be a great confidant, he does a lot to help people where he can, he eventually gets the good he gave back with people taking care of him

-he’s in a queer platonic relationship with Delta and Epic

———

Nightmare:

-he has piles upon piles of gifts Dream gave him for their birthday over the years, he never got rid of any of them, these gifts are something he cherishes dearly

-he’s the one to introduce Killer to Ccino’s cafe, he actually did that with no ill intentions, and Nightmare himself is not really sure why he went out of his way to introduce Killer to the cafe

-he and Dream sometimes sit beside their mother in silence, just taking everything in, taking each other presence in, not talking or interacting, Nightmare feels peaceful during these moments, it’s the closest thing to the same feelings he had as a happy child

———

Dream:

-even though he has a fallout with Ink, he eventually remedies his relationship with them, they become best friends again

-whenever life gets too much, he goes to Swap’s house and stays with the swap bros, it helps immensely

-Dream never expects to receive anything on his birthday, that expectation is broken when he receives a gift from Nightmare, he never got another gift afterwards, it’s only that one gift, but it’s the entire world to him

———

Error:

-he thinks of Ink as his bestest friend in the world, he’d never admit that out loud tho dhdhhdhdh (they’re frenemies)

-he loves geno and Fresh dearly, they’re his proclaimed siblings, he’s more open about his love with them

-he actually takes commissions by making dolls for people who want them in exchange for chocolate as payment (his chocolate stock never runs out zgxggx)

———

Horror:

-He eventually finds a better relationship with food

-he succeeds at escaping from Nightmare and managing to keep his AU (and most importantly his brother) safe in the process

-he finds himself becoming best friends with Farm

———

Ink:

-his art is something others never see, but surprisingly, if you had the chance to see it, then you’d find it’s art the people they love most

-their fallout with Dream actually hurt him, so when he and Dream got back to being besties, they felt very happy about it

-he loves spending time with Color, Epic and Delta cause of their constant traveling habits, they’re very entertaining to be around

-while they spend most his time in the doodlesphere, the second place you’ll most likely see them in is with their parents in the omega timeline, he loves them with all his heart

———

These are the ones I can think of off the top of my head hdhdhdhdh hope they’re enough to rotate in your brain all day <333333

[0w0tsuki]

My thing about the femboy discourse is that I don't think there's much value in trying to delineate whether femboys are "really TMA" because that's not my fucking problem with femboys. My problem is something even the other trans feminists who've talked about this have had to tip-toe around and I'm just going to outright say it.

A MAJORITY of self identified femboys/femboy attracted people (yeah because our problem is not with the identity in and of itself but how the attraction to the transfeminine body while denying the transfemininity is a core tenent to Femboy culture. This cis girl who's into femboys because she sees them as someone that she as a woman can have power over un the patriarchy is a part of this conversation too) in the WIDER online community (Tumblr is a bubble!) are OPEN transmisogynists. Open as in they loudly proclaim their view of transfems as men, their complete disrespect of transfems boundaries, and their fetishisation of all transfeminine bodies as their preferred male sex object. Open as in STEALING the identity of Transfem Sex workers for their sissy scam blogs. Open as in harassing anyone they can get their hands on about how transfemininity is shoved down their throats. Open as in they can get together and make entire social media sites unusable with their bitchfit crybaby tantrums about Transfem existence.

Everybody loves to come together and make fun of these cretins when they get together to rage about the newest Transfem confirmation as a way to virtue signal being to recognize obvious out and proud transmisogyny and then collectively snap their fingers to forget about them the instant they quite down. The instant they would have to recognize that people like this are ALWAYS this vocal about it in their personal lives they just aren't as organized. The instant they would have to recon that there is a large contingent of mspec transmisoginists who are obsessed with transfems and make it their life's goal to sexualize our existence as much as possible while denying us our femininity and humanity.

The instant that they would have to recon that perhaps femboy isn't a queer friendly catchall term for "feminine boy" and is actually a term with history. That in that history there is trauma, exploitation, and harrasment. That that history is happening daily. That there are transfems whose only history with the term IS THAT HISTORY. That there are transfems whose experience with femboys has been the most transmisogynistic hateful bile she's ever experienced.

The instance a transfem asserts that she might not be 100% comfortable being around self identified femboys. That she might not not take kindly to the assertion that they are essentially the same thing and that infact femboys are her closest ally in the queer community. She's told to put all that to the side because uwu soft bean tboys would self combust from sadness if they were forced to think for even a second that their new word for gender expression might not be the purest thing in the world and they would actually have to be considerate of how they interact with others.

Then she's an evil perisex bio essentialist who just hates men being feminine and gender nonconformity and is trying to pull the ladder up by denying eggs femboy culture. She's actually actually an anti-sex puritan whose having an autogynophilia based disgust reaction. She's a pickme trying to throw Transfem femboys under the bus.

If you want transfems to feel safe around femboys then stop attacking everyone who doesn't. Work on your own problems. Neither of you were responsible for burning this bridge but it's selfish of you to put it on her to fix it. Your going to have to put an effort into stopping those fires from being started. Do not blame her for being burned.

[bluemoonscape]

Not sure if this counts as an unpopular opinion, but while Gwen and her dad’s reconciliation scene was absolutely beautiful and I wouldn’t want it any other way, I DO realistically think that Gwen’s dad doesn’t deserve forgiveness with no strings attached.

Obviously he loves his daughter- he gave up his career for her- and yeah, I love that! That’s great! But because Gwen is his daughter, Gwen is going to have this inherent need to just forgive and forget any wrongdoing her father commits. The desperation in her expression and tone during every scene in ATSV with her dad when she’s begging him to understand me says it all:

For a time, her home was no longer hers. It wasn’t safe for her to be there. She wasn’t welcome. Of course the minute her dad opens his arms to her again, she’s going to look at him like a savior even though he’s the reason she had nowhere to go in the first place, leading her to join Spider Society. As a firm believer in the validity of the trans allegory of Gwen’s ATSV arc, I’m going to use comparisons to the queer experience. If someone rejects your identity, there’s nothing to be done about it, nothing that can undo it—that will always stick with you! Gwen is always going to wonder when the other shoe is going to drop and she’s out again, because if it happened once, it can happen again. She might forgive her dad for everything, but she’s never not going to live in fear thinking it could happen again.

Long story short, Gwen’s dad needs to sit in the corner and think about what he’s done. His daughter was homeless and rejected and that’s his fault. Amen

[endcant]

Crossposted from my Tumblr Community: The Trans South

--

The Trans South Monthly Bulletin Board

. * ❄ . ❅ * { Our pinned post for January 2025. } * ❅ . ❄ * .

in this issue: direct mutual aid opportunities, LGBTQ+ good news, southern events, job board, fun links, resources

comment anything you want to add, and i'll add what fits in this month's post. i'll be making a new post each month, so you may need to resubmit any links that are applicable for multiple months. i'll update this if i get new info in a timely way, but still check the comments for anything i missed!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[UPDATED 1/24!] Direct Mutual Aid Opportunities:

Actually help a trans southerner today!

Requests in this section are submitted by TTS members.

Cecilpedia needs to eat!

Catgirl-smash needs help getting somewhere safe!

Turing-tested needs help with his grandmother's funerary expenses!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

the bright side:

the fact that you're alive is good news to me!

Good-enough news for LGBTQ+ Southerners.

The First Trans Community Center Opens in Arkansas | "'We declare that Arkansas Can’t Erase Trans People!' said Rumba Yambú, founder and director of Intransitive. 'We are here to stay, and we will keep fighting for our rights to ensure Trans people can build a future in Arkansas'."

Nashville Notary Battles Marriage Discrimination by Marrying Queer Couples | "Huff says... 'If you don’t have a family that’s gonna support you, there are so many other people that will. It’s really inspired me to keep the love going.'"

"Zebra Youth is expanding its short-term housing for LGBTQ+ youth" | "ORLANDO | Zebra Youth, a local nonprofit focused on providing services to LGBTQ+ youth, is expanding its short-term housing for queer youth this month thanks to a grant from the Homeless Services Network of Central Florida through its Brighter Days initiative."

"An Alabama city banned an LGBTQ+ Pride float from its Christmas parade. It marched anyways " | "Prattville Pride was able to march in the city's Christmas parade despite being banned the day prior after swift action from a federal judge."

[Bitter-sweet] Plans for Pulse Nightclub Memorial Move Forward | "ORLANDO | The Pulse nightclub building will be torn down as part of the future memorial design, the Pulse Memorial advisory committee said during its meeting Dec. 12."

More News

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[UPDATED 1/24!] southern events:

no affiliation, just interesting finds

Virtual/Twitch. Mon, Jan 27th. Nashville-based streamer Joe Hills welcomes special guest: trans activist Allison Chapman | "There's a lot of work to do, so let's chat about how each of us can help." Allison will talk about her work, and we can learn more about doing activist work in our own communities. 8:30 PM US Central Time.

Virtual/Zoom. Thurs, Jan 30th. Pre-register. Autistic Self-Advocacy Network Policy Seminar | "Are you interested in public policy and how it affects your community? Do you want to get involved in policy advocacy, but are unsure where to start? Join us for Policy Advocacy: What we do and how we do it on January 30 at 4-5:30pm ET!"

[event complete]Virtual.January 9.Beyond the Ballot: LGBTQ+ Equality and Legislative Trends for 2025 | A public event by Funders for LGBTQ issues: Attend for an overview on policy expectations for 2025.

Are you a member of The Trans South and you want me to find events in your area? DM me and tell me what you need me to know, so I can focus on the neighborhoods and budget ranges of people within our community <3

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[NEW SECTION!] opportunities:

Work, Volunteer, and Make Change in the South!

[closed] Disabled Artists, Tennessee. due [unknown time next week], unpaid. Submit Your Work for Breaking Ground Arts Issue

Black & Latino Gay & Bisexual Men Age 18-35, Middle Tennessee. due ASAP, earn $375 Southern TENNacity | "We are a team of Yale-affiliated LGBTQ+ scholars of color... We are now currently recruiting for the TENNacity trial, a 11-week group therapy treatment created by and for Black and Latino/x gay, bisexual, and queer men (inclusive of cisgender men, trans men, and nonbinary individuals assigned male at birth)."

Community Organizers, 1-2 Years Experience, Alabama. due date unknown, $23-$26/hr. Hometown Organizing Project/Hometown Action is hiring Lead Community Organizer for Gender Justice | "Hometown Action is an affiliated 501c4 nonprofit advocacy organization building a multiracial, working class, trans/queer-affirming movement for racial, gender, economic, and climate justice in rural and small town communities across Alabama."

Experienced Marketers, Texas and Georgia. due date unknown. Lambda Legal is Hiring Remotely for Director of Integrated Marketing Position | "Lambda Legal is a national advocacy organization committed to achieving full recognition of the civil rights for the LGBTQ+ community and everyone living with HIV through impact litigation, education, and public policy work."

[closed] Regularatory Activism, Nationaldue Jan 17Comment on Fair Standards Labor Act Changes

[closed] Subject Matter Experts, Nationaldue Jan 11You Can Make a Difference by Serving on an HHS National Advisory Board/Committees

Are you a member of The Trans South and you want me to find opportunities in your area? DM me and tell me what you need me to know, so I can focus on the neighborhoods and goals of people within our community <3

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

fun links:

media, literature, and games keeping me going this month

Read "Love Letter From A Poet Under Empire" by Mónica Teresa Ortiz | "The South isn't just a site of burials... but also of refusals: a list of those speaking out against the brutality that the state imposes."

Watch Black in Appalachia on PBS.org | Black in Appalachia explores the roots of African-American influence on the history and culture of Appalachia through documentaries, research, local narratives, public engagement and exhibition.

CSS Diner | Learn about CSS with this diner-themed game. Knowing CSS can help you learn to publish indie websites outside of social media!

More Fun

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

useful links:

interesting resources and organizations you should know about

Repro Legal Defense Fund | The Repro Legal Defense Fund provides financial support for people investigated or fighting charges related to their pregnancy or abortion.

Trans in the South: A Directory of Trans-Affirming Health & Legal Service Providers | "Trans in the South is dedicated to every trans Southerner who persists in growing in this rocky clay soil."

More Resources

--

If you're an adult trans person in the U.S. South, join my Tumblr Community: The Trans South.

If you're a teen trans person in the U.S. South and you create a youth community for trans southerners, let me know and I'll link to it in The Trans South.

[badasscoffeemug]

okay, so, i tried to pull as many interviews as i could to see if i could parse what the original plan for bucktommy was (or if there even was any), and subsequently, if there had been a pivot of any kind. now, we are not privy to any bts talk, and storylines are never set in stone, even from when they've been teased or promoted (henchim friction? hello?) but interviews are really all we have to go off of. so, idk, i compiled some quotes, all bolded emphasis is mine.

i kinda got the impression that it really was supposed to be a 4-episode arc for tommy, after which he would gracefully bow out and leave buck a newly realized single bisexual. for some reason, that changed and they chose to keep him around and extend that storyline (gelled rather well in the story? opening the door for potential future storylines?). except then they had them break up anyway, leaving buck in much the same place he would have been had they called it quits in 7x06, only much more heartbroken (essentially wasting over half a season's worth of buck storyline, except he's sadder now, i guess). but, judge for yourself.

march 28, 2024, TM: Showrunner Tim Minear also teased future episodes for Tommy. “He’s going to be around for a little bit. He’s not going to be a member of the 118 again, but he is going to be involved in some stories.”

april 4, 2024, TM: “I was kind of bored with the hamster wheel of the relationships [Buck] had been in. His story needed a slap. It needed some something fresh. This felt like it could be important to some people, and it felt like it was right for the character.”

OS: “I’ve always had in my head that I wanted a partner for Buck to be someone where it wasn’t easy”

TM: “That’s what I like about this. He’s not siloed off into some love interest story with a character who has nothing to do with the main characters.”

Minear noted that Tommy is currently an important romantic partner for Buck, largely because “it’s sort of the entry-level relationship.” Yet at the same time, he noted that he doesn’t think “anybody’s making wedding plans.”

“It really is a first fling for Buck right now. What that might amount to, only time can tell. But what I’m interested in is not something that’s fraught. I’m interested in something that’s tender and positive”

april 4, 2024, OS: “The focus was on it being important, but also not wanting it to feel like the bravest episode in television. We just wanted to tell a lighthearted love story that happens to be a queer love story.”

april 5, 2024, TM: “[what] I don't want to do is the mistake that I think we've made with some of the other love interests, which is siloing those characters off into their love life and they have no kind of organic connection to the rest of the characters in the story. [...] Going with Tommy allowed us to start to play a story without just inventing a whole new character just for the purpose of being the bi character or the gay character or the male love interest for Buck.”

april 12, 2024, TM: “that moment at the end of the episode where he sits down with Tommy and says, “You said I wasn’t ready. I don’t know what I’m ready for, but I’m ready for something. I’m just sure what that is yet.” But he feels safe with Tommy. So even though he doesn’t know exactly what road he’s stepping onto, he’s willing to roll the dice.”

april 12, 2024, LFJ: "So, it happens in phases. My manager said 9-1-1 called, and I was like, 'Cool.' And then he is like, 'All right, well, they called for an arc.' And I'm like, 'Four episodes? Cool.'

"Given the circumstances, we just kissed. There's something there. We go on a date, and then Eddie happens to show up because there's only one restaurant, I guess, in L.A., and I would totally understand if he was nervous and whatnot." (this quote has nothing to do with my point really i just think it's so fucking funny. this entire interview is so messy.)

"I have no idea," he explained when asked what the future could hold for the duo. "If the writers do choose to extend this storyline and make it into its own thing [...] I'm just as excited as you are to find out."

april 12, 2024, OS: "I just hope he continues down that path and I think we will see him opening up more and more, and being louder and prouder about it. I want to tell real stories where not everything is going to be straightforward, but I don’t want the angst or the trauma to be in these kind of negative troupes that we’ve seen before. I want them to have real world problems that couples or people who are first dating have, but I don’t want it to be rooted in outside people being homophobic or anything like that. Those are stories we have seen and we’ve told, and sure, of course, happen in the real world, but I want to tell a happy story between these people and a real story. They have issues and they have things to deal with, but I just want them to be real world, everyday relationship issues."

april 18, 2024, OS: "we want to tell it in an honest way where not everything is going to be easy and carefree. There are going to be issues, but we also don't want it to feel like it's down or too heavy. We want to tell this queer love story in a very honest way, but also in a very loving way."

"Tarlos is a beautiful relationship," Stark says. "I'm just honored to get to tell a story that can kind of partner up with that and maybe continue with a similar thread."

"I really want to see Buck continue to explore what it is that really speaks to him, and what he's into," Stark says. "He's obviously going to continue down this path with Tommy for now. I don't know what that story is going to end up being, but I would really like for Tommy to stay a part of Buck's life, regardless. He's obviously opened this door for him, and I think it would be really nice if [Tommy] was able to continue to hold [Buck's] hand and could help guide him through this process. As somebody who's a little older and more experienced, to kind of help shepherd Buck into this new phase of understanding who he is."

april 23, 2024, OS: “I really enjoy [Lou]. I really enjoy working with him. I think he’s been a great addition to the show, and I look forward to — assuming Tommy sticks around for a while — continuing to develop that relationship with him on-screen and off-screen.”

may 2, 2024, JLH: "I’m really excited for Buck, because I think he’s a person that has never quite settled into who he is. And if this is who he is, it’s beautiful,” Hewitt said. “I was so happy Maddie felt that way, because that’s how I would feel. And I’m really happy that she’s there for him. In Season 8, the actor hopes Maddie gets to “understand what all that means, be in that with [Buck], and get to know Tommy better.”

may 3, 2024, KC: “I think it was the brilliance of [co-creator] Tim [Minear]. Even introducing the storyline of Buck and Tommy, he said, "I don't want it to be this very special episode of 9-1-1. I'm going to make this a f---ing romantic comedy, man. You won't see it coming. It'll come out of left field." And I think that's the same thing he did with the revelation. There's no sit down, there's no big discussion or talk about it. It's what it would be. This guy has found love fina…. Well, I think love finally.”

may 3, 2024, KC: "When I heard about the storyline, I was super excited. And on a selfish note, I'm really happy because they brought Lou Ferrigno Jr. back. We've become really good friends, as he was in "Hen Begins," "Bobby Begins Again," and of course "Chimney Begins," and we formed a tight personal bond. I think he's a terrific actor, and I think this new dynamic brings this newfound energy into that storyline and into the show, and I'm excited to see how it blossoms."

not dated? post-7x06, KC: “It’s one of my favorite scenes,” Choi says. “It’s a reveal for most of the characters that Buck has found a love interest he’s actually interested in. It’s adorable, it’s cute, it’s perfect, and the audience is going to love it.”

OS: Stark likens Buck’s journey to “a hamster wheel”: “He’s been taking one step forward and two steps back, as is quite typical of being in your late 20s and early 30s, trying to find yourself,” the actor explains. “As we’ve moved into this seventh season, he’s found a way to really discover who he wants to be.”

july 8, 2024: 7x09 deleted scene released

september 9, 2024, TM: “They’re still getting to know each other a little better”

september 11, 2024, TM: Minear says not much time has passed between the events of the season 7 finale and the season 8 premiere, so there haven't been many developments in Buck and Tommy's relationship. "But we see that they're more comfortable together," he explains. "We'd definitely call them a couple. Obviously they're comfortable hanging out with Eddie, but when you couple with somebody, it takes up some of your time, so that also leaves Eddie a little bit out in the cold. Well, not out in the cold, but Buck doesn't have as much free time as he did before, let's put it that way." (yeah so, this barely happened?)

september 20, 2024, OS: “We don’t really have too much of a time jump moving into this season, so the relationship with Tommy is much where it was left off,” explains Stark. “It is in its early stages. They’re still learning and figuring things out about each other and what a relationship might or could look like.”

[the-fever-pitch]

Welcome dear, here's what you might want to know

This side blog is a safe place for me to share horny and cringy thoughts. +18!

You can call me Cass. I'm a 25 yo queer trans man (he/him) I've been on T over 3 years now, post op.

Switch verse, open to experimenting. I like to be of service, your pleasure is mine. Currently single.

You know the deal, no minors, no ageless blogs and bigots in general (terfs, zionist, etc), stay away.

Asks and DMs currently open again. If I didn't responde to something you sent me, I'm sorry, I'm trying to get back on track. Try again or text me, don't be shy!

Don't expect me to share pics right away. If we get to have a closer relationship, I might consider it.

I don't want to share my main account right know, so since this is a side blog I won't follow back. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate you being here, as I said I'm open to chat!

Kinks and more under the cut

Look at you, how curious you are.

Kinks and boundaries

All of this and any kind of kinky activity requiere consent. If you want to explore something on this list or beyond with me, we can talk about it.

On the same note, please don't be afraid to ask me to stop or switch subject if you ever feel uncomfortable when we're interacting.

Kinks: Bondage, shibari, hypnosis/mind control, corruption, praise/(light) degradation, monsterfucking/tentacles, nipple play, lactation, objetification, CNC (always with safewords in play, nothing too extreme), voyeurism, regency/royalty, roleplay is fun in general. You're all getting me into petplay too.

Limits: Detrans, heavy impact play, scat, weight gain/loss, ageplay, raceplay, bestiality, tickling, hair pulling (my hair).

If there's anything you want to explore with me, let's talk about it! I'm an open book.

I'm comfortable with most terms, handsome, pretty, everything works. Just avoid feminizing me too much unless we've talked about it beforehand. The same goes with strong degradation.

Also, I use a lot of petnames, If you're not comfortable with that please let me know.

Other tags:

#CassTalks for personal stuff!

#AskCass for the lovely ask you send me.

Anons: 🖤🦝, 🎶, 🌊, 😽, ✨, 🫥, 😇, 🐰, 🦇, 🌌, 🧯, 🍯, 🐦‍⬛, 🪽, 🌹🥩, 🎸, 🚬, 🪷, 🕷️, 🦇🩸, 🐝, 🍷, =(ôwô)=, 🕸️, 👾, 🌧️, 🐘, 🔮, 🔪.

[bengiyo]

Love in the Big City Part 1: It's Gay

We’ve finally made it to the Love in the Big City TV adaptation. Despite all the drama going on around this show’s release, we got the whole show at once. We won’t get canceled midway through. Though I hoped for a global weekly release schedule, I understand the decisions that led to dropping the whole thing at once. Thankfully, Nam Yoon Su is so charismatic as Go Yeong, and I have much to say about how this show doesn’t hate BL, has great regard for the humanity of its characters, and so far is one of the better adaptations I’ve experienced in my life. 

Nam Yoon Su’s Go Yeong

I just want to state plainly that I love how queer Go Yeong feels in this show. I love his pissy little expressions. I love his frustration and anger at gross straight men. I love his gay little run. I love his dancing in the street to girl pop artists. I love him making out with men in public. 

I loved opening with Yeong in the midst of a new fling and openly having lots of sex before the military boyfriend came back home. I loved Yeong ending things before later going to a club to seek new partners. We haven’t had that in so long, with Queer as Folk being the biggest cultural memory for many. 

More than anything, I love how lonely he felt. Many others have noted it in the tag, and I think that’s the part that resonates when something feels queer for a lot of us. It was notable that they brought Yeong’s friends forward this time, which gives us insight into the shallow nature of most of his relationships. His connection to them is through the club, music, and boys. Go Yeong keeps everyone at a distance. It’s the hardest part about being queer sometimes. You try to connect with others, but something always seems to come up to prevent that closeness. 

Kim Nam-Gyu

I think casting Kwon Hyuk as Kim Nam Gyu was such an excellent decision. He previously played my man Jong Chan in The New Employee, and it feels like a nod from this production that they are not opposed to BL. BL is a drama full of romance tropes and huge optimism about relationships, and they cast the actor who played my favorite version of the ideal man in a way that showed empathy for his lonely, quiet nature. Casting Kwon Hyuk feels like a tactful way for this show to say, “We’re not BL, and we respect the work others are doing.” The New Employee was directed by a Korean gay activist, and I love this show giving K-BL a polite nod.

Nam Gyu is a quiet gay. As one myself, I get a lot of what I saw in Nam Gyu. He takes pictures of hot models because it’s a socially acceptable way for him to be close to hot men. He leaps at the chance to be with Go Yeong, and speed runs the intimacy route. He missed that he was smothering Go Yeong, and I think it’s because it’s clear he lacks friends.

I feel so sad for Nam Gyu, because it’s clear he overinvested in his relationship with Go Yeong. He was so ready to give Go Yeong everything, but it was way too much for a club gay. Despite all the ways he rushed in (like a fool), he was otherwise so safe in his life. He stayed in the lines everywhere, and it’s so tragic that he died while speeding. 

I thought a lot about the lack of Kylie in this section and the health scare, and it adds a layer to the situation with Nam Gyu as @twig-tea pointed out in one of our conversations that Go Yeong asked how he died because he might already know his status. Did Go Yeong wonder if he’d infected Nam Gyu? It also makes me wonder about the sex we didn’t see with Nam Gyu and IG guy. 

Finally, the empty funeral hurts me to my core. This man was so decent, and no one was there to see him off. I am still thinking about how all of the breakups mirrored each other in this section.

Choi Mi Ae

I think @lurkingshan already covered Mi Ae in this adaptation very well. I’ve been thinking about her for a few days, and I’ve decided that I like that we get to see more of her outside of Yeong’s POV in the show. We can see how her circumstances rattled her, and how it was clear that she couldn’t make it on her own long term. 

I get her taking the cushy job. I get her finding a nice enough guy who didn’t want kids. I get her choosing to protect herself when cornered. The most tragic thing about her outing of Yeong is that she told the truth and it only seemed to make things worse. Jonho could never understand the solace she and Go Yeong found in each other, and he was not ready to ever hear the truth of Mi Ae’s life. 

I feel more sympathy for Mi Ae in this version because we can see that their relationship meant so much to her. Learning that he actually went on to become a writer touched her because it feels like he’ll immortalize a time in their lives that was mutually important to them. It also means that one of them may not have to settle for the choices available to them. The singing at the wedding hits so painfully here because it’s the last fun memory these two will ever have. Yeong goes back to the apartment Mi Ae left for him to eat the last of their blueberries, and that’s the last we’ll see of her.

Final Thoughts

I’m so relieved that we have book club discussion again. I’ll be reading and reblogging people’s posts, and I’m looking forward to the next part to see how Hyung fits into the show’s narrative. This adaptation has been so beautiful so far, and it’s been really great to see how the show has softened some of its edges by putting us in third person perspective. We are giving room to understand Mi Ae, Nam Gyu, and the T-aras by not seeing them exclusively through Yeong’s eyes.