#I just needed to rant

[lolotr]

I'm genuinely devastated about DBD being canceled. but more than that, I'm ANGRY.

what's the plan, Netflix? you're mad that new people aren't signing up because you're so ubiquitous that everyone on earth who wants an account already has one, so instead of focusing on retaining your current viewers, you piss them off? snap up cool projects so other networks can't have them and then cancel them after a single season? how is this a good business model in the short OR long term?

I will not be giving them my money or my eyeballs anymore. and maybe they will use that as evidence that they shouldn't make any more queer shows. maybe they will use that as an excuse to cancel them. but if a good show with thousands of dedicated fans doesn't merit a second season, I don't trust them with future projects.

[mylifeisinanotherreality]

I’m just trying to have fun scrolling on TikTok and then someone I follow starts making fun of shifters and the comment section starts attacking shifters (“you must be schizophrenic!”). There was even someone who kept talking condescendingly and going “yeah but if you ‘shift’ to a reality of the cartoon, the characters won’t be able to speak because their VAs don’t exist! why don’t you appear on screen then?” like bro what are you talking about 😭

[jasontoddsotherhalf]

A Short Simon Snow Character Analysis:

"Simon needed time. He needed care. He still startled at bright lights and sudden noises. And prolonged eye contact. He'd get jumpy when we were alone together." (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 85)

"On the worst days, on the even worse nights, I used to think about all the bad things that have happened to Simon– just the ones I know about. And then I'd wonder about all the terrible things that have happened to him that I DON'T know about. Twenty years of bad things. How long would it take for those painful memories to die back?" (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 86)

Simon is genuinely one of the saddest chosen ones I've ever read about, and I feel like its ignored by the fandom a lot. Like the book series is always portrayed as funny and light hearted and it is sometimes but at the root it's sad and heart wrenching. However, it's also really creative and has a tone of parallels and connections and like the whole concept of the chosen one fulfilling his purpose and no longer being needed anymore isn't used often. A lot of the times the Chosen one's issues aren't even addressed at ALL its just "Oh he went through a lot as a child but the bad guy is dead now and he got the girl (or guy) so it's fine, he's happy"

Simon was used by everyone his whole life. The Mage, the rest if the world of mages, even Penny and Agatha a bit too, (which Penny realizes and admits in AWTWB). Simon was left as a child at an orphanage where we really don't know much about his life, because he doesn't know much either. In Wayward Son, Simon talks to his therapist about not remembering a lot before he was 11 and she says the brain blocks out things that have traumatized or hurt us in the past. When Simon is 11 and comes to Watford, he speaks so little the teachers have to give him private lessons, and when that doesn't work he gets a speech therapist. A few other details a are given as well such as how Simon jumped from orphanages and Foster homes. All these allow us to infer that he didn't have a good childhood, and stuff probably happened to him.

The Mage becomes Simon's only father figure, and even then Simon says he never felt like a father. The Mage treated Simon like a weapon, and even lied to him about being his father. The Mage could have made things much easier for himself by raising Simon, but he chose to just leave him till he was 11 because he didn't feel like raising his own kid. "Maybe it's part of what the Mage did to me. He said he got me wrong, that I was a cracked vessel. I can't hold on to anything good." (AWTWB pg 65) the Mage only payed attention to Simon when it benefited him. Simon was an object to him, and if you remember in Carry On, it was obvious to literally everyone but Simon, who didn't want to believe he was being manipulated. It turned him into a killing machine.

Often times I feel as if the fandom portrays Simon as some talkative goofball, but that's completely ignoring his character. Simon says in Carry On that he doesn't think because in the end he just does what people tell him too. But that's not true. He does think, all the time, he just pushes away the stuff he doesn't want to think about, thinking about other things to muffle out these unwanted thoughts. Baz also says in Carry On that most conversations with Simon are just Simon shrugging. We feel as though Simon talks a lot because when it's his POV he's always rambling, but this is because Simon has a strong inner monolouge.

Simon had no adult figures in his life to lean on. Every character had someone, despite their maybe complex relationships. Baz has Fiona, and the two are close despite the tension and arguing. Penny has her mom and dad, despite their differences, they all love each other a ton. And Agatha has her parents, who do care about her. Simon never has a firm foundation. Not the Mage, Penny's mom barley likes him, Agatha's family only treats him well because he's the chosen one and dating Agatha, and Baz's family straight up despises him. Everyone else also has friends to lean on too, once you get later into the series. Agatha has a Ginger and even Penny, Penny has Baz and Shepard, Baz has Dev and Niall whom he chooses to sort of ghost, but also Penny. And they all have Simon. But I couldn't help but notice that whenever Simon tried to communicate, he was shut down.

Simon is bad at communicating. They all address this multiple times. But it's the fact that his friends don't even have faith that he'll survive. Multiple times from all POVS it talks about how everyone expected Simon to die, and they're all talking about how they would feel and how it affects them knowing that, but no one ever asked Simon. And Simon is aware of this too, but he just once again ignores it. No one wants a hero who's scared to die for his cause. Simon is shit at communication, but he has his own ways of showing that at least something IS wrong, that Penny and Baz have learned how to read, yet ignore when it's not convenient. Baz and Penny take Simon on a trip out to America, but it wasn't about Simon. Penny had ulterior motives, to see Micah and Agatha. Then the whole situation happened there, and though obviously Baz had nothing going on with Lamb, it clearly made Simon insecure and upset. But Baz just gets annoyed at him for it instead of trying to figure out the root of the issue.

A scene that always irked me in WS is the one where Simon comes back with his hair cut, after months of neglecting it because of his depression. And Baz says nothing, because he's too busy feeling sorry for himself. This may have seemed like a small thing but Simon literally couldn't leave the couch, for almost a year. His self hatred and issues were so bad he couldn't get up. So he finally makes this step, cutting his hair, trying to get better...and Baz basically ignores it.

Another thing is the end if WS when they're on the beach. Simon is trying to say how he feels, in his own way. That he isn't good enough for Baz, Baz should find someone else. And Baz just shuts him down, like he always does. Like he always does when Simon tries to communicate his feelings about being the chosen one, and what happened with the Mage. Then they get back to England, and Baz just acts like nothing happened. Simon shouldn't have ignored all his texts, and shouldn't have moved out leaving just a note, but he doesn't know how to communicate. No one taught him how to do this, all he knows is he needs to figure his shit out and no one currently in that situation, was really helping him.

I see a lot of people hating on AWTWB because Simon and Baz break up, because their relationship is admittedly toxic, and then get together the next day. But I think it makes perfect sense. They both love each other so so much, and they have an unhealthy attachment. Often with toxic relationships, especially when we love each other and want them to work out, we keep coming back in hopes of fixing things. Both boys have severe abandonment issues, and they don't want to loose each other.

I also see people hating on WS and AWTWB because Baz and Simon aren't all happy. Like legit, that is why I see those books getting the most hate. But it makes sense. People's pasts have an effect on them and how they behave. Simon killed the only father figure really he'd ever had. And he still doesn't understand the extent of abuse said man put him through. Simon doesn't know how to put himself first. Like when they're fighting the vampire's in WS, and simon is on the brink of death, he STILL stands up because that's what people have expected him to do all his life. Baz wants everything to be okay and happy and ignore their issues, because that's what they've done his whole life in his family, ignoring problems like him being a vampire. And what Simon desperately needs is to approach his, but he doesn't know how deep his issues run, except that he's a broken, fucked up, mess. He has ptsd, depression, and anxiety, and doesn't know how to help himself.

Overall, Simon's character holds a complexity that often times I see ignored. The story is romantic, and cute. I love Snowbaz as much as the next person. But you can't fully appreciate the story until you actually understand the depth of the characters, especially starting with Simon Snow.

Thank you, have a nice day <3

[piko-chan]

I'm fucking pissed

"I don't have friends"

Bitch you have so many, you can walk up to them and just strike up a conversation, you have contact to them and sometimes exchange messages

"Yeah but they are not, CLOSE friends"

I don't care

That's still friendship

Because then I say

I used to have no friend

And you assume I could do the same shit you are doing now

But I used to eat meals alone in a bathroom. I used to go to that bathroom on every break talking telepathically to my stuffed bear back at home because I was THIS lonely. I wasn't invited to any of the class groupchats. Nobody cared for me being there. When I ran for the class president I got ONE vote, from my gf. Literally no one else was willing to vote for me. I have been taken my teachers to the side telling me to find some MOTHERFUCKING friends cuz it's sad for them to look at me sitting alone

I used to literally call myself dumb and an idiot because they said they would be my friends. Of course that was just a joke to get me to say that about myself. But I was THAT desperate

So watch you fucking mouth

[garfunkytunes]

ai art is not real art, and ai writing is NOT real writing

[johnsbleu]

so i’m writing this chapter of hmh and i usually don’t post this kind of stuff but idk if y’all would like it. john is just not being himself he’s moody and being unfair to reader and they argue and in my head im like what if people read it and they hate john. i don’t want people to hate him, i love him. he’s just struggling a little. like idk. idk if i’m gonna post it idk if it even makes sense. is reader being a pushover? is she being too nice to him when they finally talk everything out??? I DONT KNOW I HATE THIS

people are always going to criticize something about it which that’s fine but I just hate when people don’t like him and don’t like her because I love them a lot and it makes me sad but like she’s just really sweet to him and understands that he’s struggling and yeah, he even realizes that he’s being unfair to her and he apologizes it’s not like he doesn’t apologize. Of course he does. I don’t know. I’m just rambling now because you know I have thoughts lmao

[ellsieee]

Argh twitter is now a cesspool of toxic solo fans spewing garbage about how Novak and Andy hate each other or how one has wronged the other. Shipping aside, Novak and Andy like and respect each other. A lot. Truly. You have to be purposely obtuse to not see it. Even if these so-called wrongs did exist, they are clearly over it. If Andy and Novak don't give a shit, who do these stans? I am always baffled by this behavior. At least someone on there gets it.

Old man yaoi ftw.

[i-enjoy-911onabc]

What happened to the part in fandoms that we don't hate on fanfics? (If it's tagged with everything)

Also, posting a screenshot on X about a fic you don't like and shit talk about it? Or post it on here? It's just mean!

Can we just go back to" don't like it, don't read it

[aching-joints]

the problematic prince should be renamed to the problematic asshole prince

knowing what's coming up, i'm in peace, wonder how they'll cover it

but

that's it, time to find something wholesome to cure my aching soul after catching up finally bc i stopped reading it when i got frustrated w/ it before

unrelated, but kind of related

i finally caught up to all of betrayal of dignity and i'm fucking dying

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[miraofhearts2point0]

genuinely was so shocked when I looked around fandom tags and saw how grossly people talked about heiya, I was fully convinced I had names mixed up because?? huh?? the takes people had about her were insane.

the way they were straight up calling her Niragi bc she....is hypersexual???? the only similarities between them is they are mentally ill and had shitty upbringings.

imo, Heiya is the perfect example of sex differences in upbringings bc why was she forced to suffer alone while Niragi made it everyone else's problem???

the adap writers did her sooo dirty too bc God Forbid a woman has any sexual urges af all. #noticing how they made Shibuki seem extremely manipulative toward Chota and Heiya attempt to SA someone (despite beimg a rape survivor?) when the two of them were the only women who initiated sex in the manga, but outright cut out the Arisu/Usagi sex scene when, technically, Usagi should be equally as demonized for engaging in such scandalous behavior. but that wouldn't fit the "perfect angel saint" image everyone has of her (which is an issue on its own bc that's literally just how Niragi sees her...aka her aggressor?? whatever)

it's so infuriating can people treat female characters with the same level of complexity and care as they do male characters im begging

[catsandgoodbooks]

I’ve been thinking about the first part of the DSMP finale quite a lot recently, so let me ramble about it and, more specifically, the decisions c!Punz makes there, and why they might of done that.

So far, I’ve seen three main theories about why c!Punz decided to revive c!Dream in front of c!Tommy and c!Tubbo, thereby destroying their cover. The first is that c!Punz just panicked and wanted to bring c!Dream back as fast as possible, damn the consequences. The second is that c!Punz and c!Dream already planned all of this out and they decided together that c!Punz didn’t have to stay in the shadows any longer. The third is that c!Punz decided that they were just going to betray the plan if one more thing went wrong out of spite and concern for both themself and c!Dream, and this was the last straw. I like all three of these for different reasons, so let’s go through them one by one.

Option One: Desperation and panic. c!Punz freaked out and revived c!Dream as soon as they found out. The second c!Dream’s back, he’s also panicking, so they’re both freaking out while trying to seem calm and collected. c!Tommy and c!Tubbo are completely oblivious to this because of course they are.

Perks/Evidence:

It’s fun (and a little angsty, but that’s not the main thing)

There’s plenty of silly little headcanons for this (including the one post that I can’t find anymore about c!Dream falling down the stairs because he was disoriented)

c!Dream would probably go along with it and pretend it was completely fine/supposed to happen

It’s the simplest solution, and the one easiest inferred from the stream

Cons:

Would c!Punz really do that, knowing how much they’ve given up for this and how level-headed they are?

Why wouldn’t c!Punz just send c!Tommy and c!Tubbo on their way instead of telling them that c!Punz had something to show them?

Option Two: Calm, calculated planning. c!Dream and c!Punz planned everything out, including the reveal of c!Punz’s true allegiances and c!Dream’s revival (and potentially his death as well). Neither of them are panicking (or, at least, they’re not panicking as much as they would in option 1). Presumably, c!Punz doesn’t need their cover anymore, perhaps because the plan is almost at the end. c!Tommy and c!Tubbo are still oblivious to everything going on, because they always are.

Perks/Evidence:

c!Dream and c!Punz getting exactly what they wanted despite making extremely questionable decisions and essentially losing, which always felt suspicious to me

Staged duo’s whole thing being staging things and making victories feel like crushing defeats

c!Punz having the revival book set up and ready to spring, as well as essentially having a whole speech planned

c!Dream has before (and would again) sacrifice a life or two for a plan

It could of been a rainy day plan for if c!Dream lost his last life, which would make the whole theory make more sense

Cons:

Why would they do this? What’s the reasoning behind this? What are they trying to accomplish (besides maybe blowing up the world, fixing whatever is wrong with it, or having previously figured out that the nukes would somehow erase people’s memories and trying to get that to happen)?

The logistics. All of them. What else do I have to say?

Option Three: Spite. It’s the last straw for c!Punz, who has had to go along with c!Dream’s plans and self-destructiveness (especially after what happened with Las Nevadas), and they decide that, damn it all, they’re going to blow their cover to force c!Dream into going along with this. c!Punz knows what’s going on but no one else is, including c!Dream. (I don’t think I explained this very well, so go read this canon-compliant oneshot setting this up if you want more context. It’s really good)

Perks/Evidence:

It gives c!Punz more agency, which is always a good thing

It has c!Punz and c!Dream be on different pages and adds conflict between them, which is interesting and angsty

c!Dream would definitely go along with it and pretend this was all part of his plan

It gives c!Punz a reason to revive c!Dream in front of Clingy Duo instead of just waiting until they were gone

As above: It gives c!Punz a relatively plausable reason to blow their cover

It incorporates c!Punz’s internal conflicts and besetting sin of anger, which neither of the others do

Cons:

There’s literally no evidence for this, I just think it’s interesting and angsty

I personally like all three of these, but I think the first makes the most sense, even though c!Dream getting what he wanted despite being outsmarted and killed and having one of his allies outed seems really suspicious. However, I think that the other two are very interesting to explore and I want to use them in fanfiction now, so I’m probably going to do that sometime and you’re not going to see me for three months.

[fabuloustrash05]

I hate Raph x Casey (all version)

Shipping them ruins their iconic friendship and dynamic that has been know for years. I’m all for friends to lover but we don’t need to force it in EVERY SINGLE bromance!!

Why can’t two guys just be good friend without anyone forcing romance between when it’s obviously not there and they made it clear in canon that they’re both into other people/in happy relationships (talking about you 2003 & 2012 r@sey shippers).

Just because two people are close and really good friends does NOT mean they are in love/are going to fall in love. (Same thing can be said about Rise Donnie x April).

If you’re offended, then keep scrolling. I’m not in the mood for a pointless argument. I just needed to rant. Also if you ship them then good for you. I don’t hate you, I just hate the ship.

[5ivebyfive]

I have updated 2 fics in 6 days. One was updated twice. All three updates were at least 8k long. One update was the most important chapter of its 25 chapters and 185k+ words. I’ve gotten very little engagement. 10 comments total, no asks, very few reblogs.

At this point I’m writing for myself and like…four of you. I wish that were different.

I have another update ready to go for suad and it’s THE chapter I’ve been building up to all along. I just know how little feedback I’ll get. It’s disheartening.

Yeah, I’m still gonna post it. It still makes me feel good to get it out there. But it’s disheartening to work so hard for so little. Fanfic culture is dead. It’s Reader Culture now.

Reader’s want exactly what they want, they want to tell writers what to/not to write. They demand hand holding and they demand a strict update schedule to please them. They rarely comment, send asks, write up fic rec lists, scream about what they read (in a good way. They only scream about fic with hate.)

I don’t need engagement to keep going. I’m not gonna quit for lack of it, because I have a few people that do engage, and so support me.

It’s just really hard, people. This is not how fanfic culture should be. It’s not how it was for so, so long. Who cares if you comment and the author doesn’t respond? Comments aren’t for you. Who cares if you want spoilers and they won’t give them to you? Who cares if you will only read completed works because you are too impatient to wait for updates or devalue work if it is abandoned? That doesn’t make it less good or less worth reading. That’s why you have imaginations!

Cause I’ll tell you what, most writers are abandoning their work because of most of you. Because they think it’s not good anymore, because they aren’t supported, because you treat them like a vending machine. Actually, you probably treat vending machine’s nicer.

I digress.

I’m feeling let down. As excited as I am to reveal this next chapter…I gotta wonder why I’m doing it. If not for myself and five people. I’m actually lucky to have five people, and that is…really and truly sad.

You don’t have to read what I write, or like it, but if you do, if you enjoy the time I get you lost from the real world, why not simply tell me? Why not ask questions or smash keys or leave emojis? In a comment, in an ask, in a reblog.

Cause reblogs are great! It shows you like the work and want others to read it! Or it shows that while it’s not for you, that you support the person writing it and want to pass it to someone who will like it.

Fandoms die. You know why? Because without writers, artists, gif makers, edit makers, people who discuss and explore the canon, people who support and promote those that do all of the above: there IS no fandom. Fandom is FAN MADE. If you can’t or don’t want to contribute, have the balls to support those who do. Let them know you appreciate them and their work.

What the hell would you look at or read without us?

Idk, here’s my second, I digress.

I’d love to post how many words I posted compared to comments, but idk how to access that.

I just don’t want to feel disappointed when this happens again on something I’ve been thinking about for 3 and a half years.

[dreamofbona]

random/thoughts

tw: mentions of sh

so i used to self-h@rm, c*tting specifically. ive been clean for four years, but i've just felt so triggered lately? i usually feel this way around october, as it's like the anniversary of when i stopped (really was forced to stop ig cuz my parents found out), but i just feel very triggered rn like i can't stop thinking abt it

my scars have faded (the ones on my arms at least) and the emptiness just bothers me sm? i drew on my arms with pen, and i feel a bit better now, but it's just so frustrating. my arms just feel like weird and itchy and wrong and drawing made me feel better but i still just don't feel right

obviously it's incredibly important to stop, as c*tting is not good, but i wish we as a society talked more abt how hard it is to stay clean

it truly becomes a coping mechanism, it's easy to feel triggered, idk i just feel so overwhelmed rn

it's so hard not to go back to it sometimes and ig i wish people acknowledged that is a very real struggle sometimes

i also just feel like such a hypocrite in some ways. i wish we talked more openly abt mental health, suicide, self-harm, etc just bc it's important to remove stigma so people can get help. at the same time, hearing people talk abt it is so triggering for me.

there were a few instances this past year - like from months ago - where people i know mentioned those things, like one of my teachers had a friend who'd committed, or someone was talking abt how lots of people sh at her school, and i still find myself thinking abt it sometimes. in the moment it was incredibly triggering, but it's not like it's their fault, cuz they don't know

aagh i just wish this was all easier. i don't want to go around broadcasting to everyone that i used to cut, or that i used to be (and still sometimes am) suicidal, but i also wish people didn't talk abt it as much? but i also want them to talk abt it to acknowledge mental health? idk

[csphire]

One big gripe...

Take his pants off here, Larian you cowards! pretty please?

Moments like this I really wish I knew how to mod. Tav wakes up buck-ass naked the morning after and god forbid we see Astarion completely naked too! I genuinely hate it when in moments of cinema there is a nudity imbalance. Full frontal male nudity? *sarcastic gasp* "Oh nos... we can't have that!"

Silly me to think those pants would come off once the game launched. Ha! Hahahaha! Nope! Did BioWare shy from showing us Dorian's ass? No, no they did not! As for the following dialogue with Astarion, after he turns around, they could have adjusted the shot a little so his dick wasn't hovering through it if they felt that was too much. They could have focused closer on both Tav and him a little more. Kept it higher, but no let's keep Tav's butt in the frame instead. Honestly, who wants to see their character's own ass? If we had to choose between Tav's and Astarion's ass obviously we're going to pick his! Right?

[wrencatte]

I'm having a bad week. Like really bad. I think it's because I cut something unhealthy but addictive out of my diet, cold turkey. I've been more fatigued, more easily distracted, unable to focus, and my feelings are all over the place. I hope this is just temporary, but if it turns out it was actually helping me with my adhd I might actually be screwed because I have no idea what I'm going to do then.

I don't want to ask people if I'm annoying them because that just makes them uncomfortable and sets up a bad feeling in whatever relationship I have with them which is the exact opposite of what I want. I just have to accept that I'm not because if I was, they wouldn't keep talking/pinging me, right? And even if I am annoying, they still like me enough to ignore it.

I know I'm a good writer, and I usually feel like I am, but I cannot for the life of me like anything I'm writing right now. I have 7 different fics to write, 1 by april 27th and 6 by may 12th, and I'm just completely -tears hair out-. I would be less stressed if ckw wasn't something I made and was pushing, but it's literally my own fan week. How can I not participate in my own fan week? I wanted to write something tragic for the 28th, but I get one paragraph down that I like, and then the rest literally doesn't come. I stare at my screen, brain working, and my fingers don't make the words.

I hate feeling like this and I thought I was getting better. I really did. And I know there's ups and downs and I have no control over it but I'm just so...sad and annoyed that I'm sad and frustrated that I'm sad and just grrr.

Anyway. I just need to rant.