#I just need to make a spreadsheet

[shiroikabocha]

pros of doing the courthouse marriage about a year before the big wedding celebration with friends and family and a caterer and shit:

-insurance

-taxes

-it was fun <3

-wife acquisition! earlier!! yay

cons:

-now all the complicated phone calls and emails and planning and shit are under a pall of “but we’re already married, why do I have to plan a party?”

(because you still want to have the party, dorkface, that means you have to plan it first) (they should invent a kind of party that you can attend without having to plan)

[to-be-a-dreamer]

The Wild Life Spreadsheet

Alright so if you don't know me: Hello, hi my name is Saf and I made a huge Google Sheet for Secret Life last year! (BTW I finally finished the gifted hearts page so if you were following it but never got to see the finished product because I Didn't Finish It feel free to check it out now!) It was a lot of fun and I know a lot of people found it helpful to have all the stats in easy-to-read tables and graphs so after the absolute trainwreck of this past session I decided to go ahead and make one for Wild Life! It's going to be a little bit different from the last spreadsheet so consider this the user manual.

Lives at End of Session

This sheet will show you how many lives each player has at the end of each session! I've also included a slicer, which allows you to filter the table and graph by specific players if you want to see one player's progression or compare a few to each other!

Death Count

This sheet shows the number of deaths per player and per session. The deaths per player graph can be filtered just like the lives remaining graph!

Causes of Death

This sheet breaks down what caused each player's death, what session they died in, how many lives they had left after their death, and which deaths were directly caused by a Wild Card! (And my GOD these snails)

Kill Count

The same as the Death Count sheet just will kills per player!

Let me know if there's other stats that would be interesting to track or if there are any issues with the sheet!

[wundrousarts]

Going to do a Nevermoor series reread in June + July + August ? if anyone else also wants to do a reread around that time, could be fun to have more of the fandom prepping for Silverborn

Did initially make a roadmap plan to split the books up into weeks on top of already being months, so that people could focus on specific parts and discuss each week….. but between the fact that I messed it up the first time, Silverborn kept getting delayed as I planned it, and I’m actually really bad at keeping to stuff like that (looking at you, Silverborn Countdown Challenge…) I’m deciding to just go for it at whatever pace happens.

[yukimomodivorce]

I made a few additions to my hell charts and I figured I'd post them here. every time I see them in my photo library I think wow something is deeply wrong with me

[angelsdean]

ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.

[tommygettingwrittenoff]

buck and eddie would be the most insane PTA moms ever, actually. because eddie loves his son and being a bitch and buck loves bossing people around with a clipboard and being involved.

[soullessjack]

god it’s like. they spent almost two whole seasons establishing that jack is far more human than anyone expected. that he holds way more value to being human and being like his mother than he ever did to being a cosmic deity or Lucifer’s son. He was done being special!!! He wanted to actually live his life and not hold the burden of great responsibility that came with his great power!!!! Lucifer literally offers him the universe in his hand and all Jack can think is how his friends will miss him. All of his subconscious insecurities are about being genuinely loved and accepted and wanting to go home and have everything be the way it was and he was genuinely so desperate to be their kid again and just Belong with them again that he used THE DARKEST FUCKING MAGIC POSSIBLE. HE KILLED TO GET THEM BACK. Dumah gave him the throne of the literal fucking GOD and the instant jack picks up on Sam’s prayer and the slightest chance that he can go back home he is gone from there like it never mattered to him. Because it doesn’t!!!!!!!! Being an all powerful big special person never once ever mattered to Jack and he literally didn’t even see a point in it if he couldn’t use that power to help the people he loved!!!!! Why the fuck would you take a character like that and MAKE THEM GOD!?????!?!??!?!?!??&!?!?!,!;!?!? WHY WOULD YPU PUT THEIR HUMANITY AND FAMILIAL ATTACHMENT ALMOST AT THE CORE OF THEIR CHARACTER AND THEN GIVE THEM AN ENDING WHERE THEY WILLINGLY GIVE UP BOTH AT ONCE !!!!!

[palms-upturned]

.

[isabelguerra]

i spent 12 hours packing up my apartment yesterday so today I get to think a little bit about wizards. as a treat

[synthaphone]

google sheets told me how to make tables, so now i'm making a massive spreadsheet of every Pokemon i own across all of my games (i know....)

i'm going through HOME in Pokedex order, and adding other games as it makes sense (like, so far i've recorded VC Blue and VC Gold, since i have hardly anything in those games and they're easy- when i finish Hoenn I'll probably record Emerald), and I'm up to midway through gen 3.

some interesting things i've learned so far:

I try to keep my teams of 6 across all of the games i've played together, and a bunch have been missing- now i'm rediscovering some of these Pokemon i'd forgotten about scattered around my living dex. like oh, my living dex Togetic named Tetris is level 40, from Johto, has a bunch of EVs, and is missing a move- this must have been my Fly Pokemon in SoulSilver

I have used so many Ampharos, Azumarill, and Flygon on teams. Like 3 of each. I had a moment of confusion yesterday when i found out that a level 100 Volbeat that i could have sworn was on my OmegaRuby team didn't have the Hoenn Champ ribbon and originated in Y. I was like. what the fuck so what is the 6th member of my Hoenn team then??? Well. I just reached Flygon and it turns out that the 6th team member was my living dex Flygon, Snakey, who i had completely forgotten about.

i have been playing these games for 17 years.... a few days ago i recorded an Espeon named "Love you!" that was given to me by my sister in 2007 when she was 8 and i was 12, and then yesterday I logged a shiny Wailmer that i caught in Pokemon GO a few years ago, at a Panera that the same sister drove us to, in her car. it feels crazy to me

[baekuras]

i also did more applying (and got 2 no's already which....hello autmated email after automated scan through website answers only looking at my school...certificate instead of current grades but whatever)

this means i am now awaiting 21 answers and gotta do at least 6 more letters and search for more

[wundrousarts]

I need to get back on my Jess interview grind and finish before Silverborn press starts up because tell me why I'm skimming one trying to find something and then realize she's talking about Ages. ACK! This is vital to my theorizing.....

[darkacademiaarchivist]

i have such mixed feelings about the new night vale episode

[volfoss]

sorry for aqualad posting at like 2 am on a thursday morning BUT he is literally the only character ever. ive read a lot of comics w the young sidekick/inexperienced parental figure superhero dynamic and aquaman and aqualad is by FAR my favorite.

aqualad, at the start, is introduced as a child who is deathly afraid of schools of fish, to the point where aquaman has to step in and offer to help him get over his fear after learning about his past.

[ID: Two comic panels from Adventure Comics #269. The first panel shows Aqualad surrounded by fish and clearly panicked. Aquaman reassures him. The second panel shows Aquaman holding a very frightened Aqualad, who pleads for Aquaman to send the fish away from him. /end ID]

this really sets up their relationship a lot through the next issues, as aquaman is trying his best to deal with parenting but is largely unprepared but aqualad loves him more than anything else in the world. aqualad doesn't really have any other adults in his life, as basically he was sent away from atlantis for his purple eyes, which are seen as a sign of the infant being unable to live underwater. hes been an orphan for five years and despite the fact that he can breathe underwater, the proximity to fish made him much too panicked to continue living in atlantis so he was shipped up to surface.

aquaman is SUPER patient with aqualad as he tries to get over his fear of fish and aqualad gets attached to him super quickly (honestly i feel the complete lack of anyone else who really is a good figure in his life really adds to this). but the big difference here, between a lot of the other stuff ive read that follows this trope, aquaman wants aqualad to go back to atlantis after he conquers his fear of fish. he LOVES the kid but he wants him to be in a place where he can thrive. even as aqualad is heading back to atlantis, aquaman is thinking about how much he misses him and how much he cares about him. aqualad ends up using fish to trick aquaman that he went to atlantis and then returns and is taken under aquamans wing. i think a lot of the first issue really stands out as different to other characters like this, but honestly the biggest thing is just how there is depth there in a specific way. they both kind of help each other out (and while that is present in other versions of this dynamic, it comes off differently here).

however, one of the most interesting bits comes in the issue after, Adventure Comic #270. This is Aqualad's second ever appearance and the issue focuses on Aquaman saving a fortune teller, who predicts that someone who he has recently met will cause him harm and take over his position as king of the ocean.

[ID: A panel from Adventure Comics #270 that depicts Aquaman and Aqualad eating birthday cake underwater. Aquaman brings up that he doesn't have a home for Aqualad to live in, and Aqualad doesn't care, as long as he is with Aquaman. /end ID]

He is in denial that it is Aqualad at first but Aqualad keeps doing kind of fishy (pun intended) behaviors that make him convinced that the boy is out to hurt him. The end of the issue reveals that for Aquaman's birthday, Aqualad has been doing all of this to make them a home. what specifically is interesting about this to me is that neither of them have a home: aquamans mother was banished from atlantis and aqualad doesnt want to go back. and that in contrast to a character like batman, aquaman isnt providing for aqualad, aqualad is providing for them both. not saying this in the way of aqualad is forced into a more responsible role, more that they are moreso equals in the process of their partnership, which is something i find deeply interesting.

another example of this comes from Adventure Comics #278, where Aqualad goes to school for the first time. Aqualad is at first hesitant about school because of how much he wants to help Aquaman, but it is clear Aquaman wants what is best for him and wants him to have a more balanced life. Once he is reassured that he can still help Aquaman, he gets adjusted to school pretty quickly, until about half through, when helping someone, he gets hit over the head with a pipe (not even the first time this has happened). aquaman is SO concerned about him passing the exam to be able to fully participate in the school that he gets fish to help him jog aqualads memories. which imo just really shows the fact that they both really want to do all they can to help each other. and idk it means a lot to me because neither of them really have a ton of people in their lives and just really lean on each other.

[amethystina]

You mentioned in your notes at the end of the chapter for 'Each Touch (Brings Us One Step Closer)' about how Yo Han had some reason for wanting some distance between him and Ga On at the end of the show and not wanting to explain your thoughts there and go on the tangent. Can you go into it here then? I love your tangents and explanations.

Also just want to say thank you so much for that chapter, it's incredible! It always amazes me how you can write the characters so accurately. It's definitely something to keep us going after the slow burn of Who Holds the Devil

I feel like I may have accidentally blue-balled some of you with that throwaway comment and I promise that wasn't my intention x'D But sure, I can elaborate :)

So! The thing with the final scene of the drama is that it's clearly shaped by the choices of the scriptwriter and/or the director. As in, certain aspects of it had less to do with the characters and more to do with production. They wanted to give Yo Han and Ga On one final scene together, to give the viewer hope and a nice, proper ending, but their options were... limited, I guess we could say?

And there are a couple of reasons for that. One is that there are still a lot of unspoken things between Yo Han and Ga On. Like lingering hurt from the betrayal, the fact that Yo Han faked his death a second time despite probably knowing how upset that would make Ga On, Ga On's somewhat concerning readiness to die (twice in one day, no less), the whole thing with the fire that they never actually got to discuss etc.

In short, there's a lot they should talk about. But there's no time — the drama is over. So while showing them having a conversation and actually reconciling would be nice, it's just not possible. They'll have to gloss over that bit and just rely on the emotional catharsis of seeing those two idiots stare longingly at each other for a couple of seconds (or surprisingly many seconds, in this case).

Which, to their credit, works really well. I was very satisfied once that scene was over. But it's not like it actually fixes anything, you know? Like, the trauma is still there. Just because Yo Han smiles at Ga On, does that mean he's forgiven the almost-murder?

I've actually gotten questions (bordering on accusations), asking why I ruined that lovely ending scene by making it so that they haven't reconciled at the beginning of Who Holds the Devil. But, like, they didn't reconcile. That scene was lovely, make no mistake, but they didn't actually solve anything. I agree that they showed their deep connection and fondness for each other, but you can have that and also still be mad about that one time your sugar baby tried to stab you in the heart. They're not mutually exclusive.

Since they don't talk, I'm going to have to assume they haven't fully reconciled.

(I don't actually mind that the drama didn't have time to solve this, I want to point out, since that just made me more eager to write Who Holds the Devil and do it for myself. So don't think I'm dissatisfied or anything — quite the opposite. I was amazed by how much we got, in a drama that's supposedly straight. It was so much more than I would ever have dared to hope for.)

The second reason the creators' choices were limited was the fact that, should they actually give Yo Han and Ga On time to talk — or touch — it might just turn out to be too gay. Or, alternatively, they'd have to make it so obviously not gay (to avoid censoring) that it would have ruined all their hard work and subtle build-up. Sometimes, not saying anything is better than saying too much. Sometimes, the easiest way to keep everyone happy is to just leave it as open for interpretation as possible and claim plausible deniability in both directions.

But it can't be denied that outside forces influenced that ending. @a-very-fond-farewell said it very aptly in their comment on Each Touch, by pointing out that had Ga On been a woman, that final scene would have looked very different. It would have been somewhere where Yo Han and Ga On could actually speak to each other, maybe hug, or perhaps go even further depending on the story/dynamic. And I'm in absolute agreement, which is why I wrote the ending to Each Touch the way I did.

That scene is, if you ask me, closer to what should have happened, if they'd been able to follow through on the tone and dynamic they'd set for this drama.

But, again, they couldn't. Partly due to time restrictions and, secondly, due to censoring issues. So we end up with a scene that takes place in a public space, so they can't really talk, can't really touch, but still, somehow, convey their love and longing for each other. Which, all things considered, still left me feeling pretty damn happy.

NOW. Even if we know that the setting for that scene (i.e. in a public place) has more to do with production reasons, there still has to be a reason for it in-universe. As in, to make it make sense in the canon of the story, we have to pretend that the choice was actually made by a character (Yo Han, in this case, since he's the one choosing when to approach Ga On) and not by the scriptwriter and/or director. And this sort of ties back a bit to that long rant I did about intent, because here we have a situation where the intent of the scene is to give closure, but outside factors mean that the presentation and execution of said closure might not actually be in harmony with the characters.

Like, let's make a thought experiment here. Imagine that there were no censoring issues. Imagine that there were no time restrictions. Everything in the drama still happens the way it does, right up until the hearing.

Do you really think that Yo Han, as you know him, would have chosen to approach Ga On in the way he did during that final scene? In a public place, where he can't actually talk to him?

Because I don't.

At least not with the information the drama gives me. Yo Han is a Dramatic Bitch, I know, and he's not always willing to talk about his trauma. But a month has passed. He's had time to think. He's had time to miss Ga On. And then he travels all the way to South Korea, just for that? Just to stare at Ga On? Without talking to him? When Yo Han is known for meeting every obstacle head-on? When he's clearly still very attached to Ga On? And, quite frankly, a very possessive person? Would he truly just leave like that? Without a word?

It just doesn't make sense.

So, as much as I like that ending scene and understand that it had to be the way it is due to various outside factors, it's also pretty out of character for Yo Han (she says boldly, as if she has any claim to say what's reasonable or not for a character she hasn't created).

Now, this still doesn't make the scene bad, but it does put us fans in the hilarious position of having to come up with a reason for why Yo Han might have done what he did, when the act itself kind of feels out of character. We have to find a motivation for something that doesn't actually make all that much sense. What reason could he possibly have had to act that way?

And me being the little shit that I am, will of course take this as an opportunity to come up with whatever batshit theory I please. Since, in the long run, it probably won't make much sense anyway since I'm basing it on actions that, in my opinion, are out of character to begin with.

I think Yo Han was scared.

I think Kang "The Abyss" Yo Han was too scared to talk to Ga On.

Because, as I mentioned in another ask I got about when Yo Han fell in love with Ga On, I think he realised it during that month between the explosion and the hearing. Because he got some distance, some time to calm down, some time to miss Ga On etc. And so I think Yo Han went back to Korea and maybe he actually planned to talk to Ga On (or hadn't decided) but then just... chickened out. Because he now knows he's in love and has no idea how to deal with that fact. Especially since he's still a little hurt over the betrayal and doesn't know what Ga On feels about the whole thing. Is Ga On still mourning Soo Hyun? Is Ga On even interested in men? Or, perhaps worst of all:

What if this month away from Yo Han's influence has made Ga On realise he was being manipulated and gaslit and now he doesn't want anything to do with Yo Han?

So, in short, I think Yo Han simply wasn't ready. He went there too soon, realised what a bad idea it was, but still wanted to at least see Ga On and maybe give them both some kind of closure (and maybe also try to figure out if Ga On hates him now). And hence the meeting being in a public place, so that Yo Han wouldn't have to have a conversation he wasn't ready for, because he wasn't sure how to talk to Ga On with all the lingering trauma and this new knowledge about his own feelings.

It was a choice Yo Han made to protect himself.

A choice he doesn't make in Each Touch because, in that story, he's been given enough proof of Ga On's interest to not have to worry as much. Interest Ga On showed before Soo Hyun died, which means it wasn't just a weird grief response, and so Yo Han doesn't feel as threatened by her. He's confident enough about his own and Ga On's feelings that he's actually willing to meet and talk with him.

And that's my theory! :D

Thank you so much to you both for asking 💜 Though I also feel a need to point out that this is, as always, mere speculation on my part — even more so than usual in this case, for the reasons stated above. And while I am thrilled (and proud) to hear that so many of you think that my opinions are accurate and very close to canon, always remember that it's okay to disagree with me. I don't have all the answers, even if I might make it sound like I do. I'm genuinely just guessing x'D

Anyhow! Thank you again! I'm so happy that you both enjoyed my fic and were curious enough to ask about this. You're both wonderful 💜

[httpiastri]