#I just need to be alone rn
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heartorbit · 2 months ago
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happy halloween! 🎃🐈‍⬛👻🐇
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knifearo · 1 year ago
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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perplexities · 2 years ago
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I love your tags about taurus man lmao. It reminds me of me, a taurus, and scorpio man. It is like he makes you happiest when you're good. Then something goes wrong, the pain is also at the highest level but you are like "don't want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do". I feel like you both are similar to us, only we switched signs.
asfkskaksm anonymous pls privately msg me bc im so nosy curious to hear your tea/situation but god. yeah!!!! you’re pretty accurate. me and the taurus man have always had high highs and extremely low lows. i recently ended things w someone else bc of this taurus (amongst other reasons) and tbh. it’s not love between me and him, it’s toxic. but it’s literally been a whole year of this despite us seeing other people and like idk man siri play nobody gets me but you by SZA 🥲😔
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elizakai · 1 year ago
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LOOK AWAY, GIVE THEM PRIVACY-
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b1adie · 7 months ago
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have you guys ever thought abt how long vidyadhara hatching rebirths take? if you check some of the eggs at scalegorge, one is a vidyadhara that is still regenerating after being killed in the sedition like 700 years ago.
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and, as far as we know, there was no other incarnation between dan feng and dan heng, so dan heng was probably in that egg for several centuries too. they kept the fucking egg in jail for 600 years, waited for it to hatch, and immediately chained up the dude who hatched from it and left him in a dark room for who knows how long.
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And pierced his fucking ears at some point.
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anyways some vidyadhara definitely take way less time to respawn, there’s that one guy Cong that’s undergone hatching rebirth like 4 times and fallen in love with the same xianzhou woman every time
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and only 20% of xianzhou natives reach over 800 years old without becoming mara in struck, so she cant be THAT old
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maybe it depends on the injury that ended their life? if he just died naturally he got to respawn quick, but the vidyadhara that got obliterated by jingliu in the sedition is still working on regenerating because that was scary.
oh hm i dont like the implications that has for the end of dan feng’s life
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starry-bi-sky · 8 months ago
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realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards
*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#clone^2#danny fenton is a clone#like i dont even need to traumatize you worse the pure explorative options from this aLONE is enough to feed me for a week.#like. tucks hair behind ear let me shatter you into glass pieces then glue you back together babe. i can put you back together so good.#i'm missing a few shards because some parts of you broke into such small pieces i couldn't pick them back up again so you'll be missing a#few chunks of yourself that you'll never get back but that's okay. you'll still be a resemblance of your old self :]#don't let anakin (me) listen to late night sad songs he makes angst.#hhh imagine being stuck in a house for two weeks where you can hear your parents torturing ghosts in the basement and not only that but#you're the only person who can undERSTAND the ghosts. how many times did he see his parents drag in a ghost with whatever capturing device#they made recently? iirc the thermos was like. brand new in episode one right? but gOD the trauma this alone would cause#nobody touch me im cooking rn i need to think about how this would impact danny. like obvs it would fuel into a developing obsession to#keep his parents away from ghosts and to help the dead but what *else.* i need to refine my becoming phantom ficlet i wrote back in winter#raaa#and like even after two weeks they were *still capturing ghosts* danny just wasn't in the house 24/7 at the time.#*but those two fucking weeks man*#i need to sleep on this first before i make any major moves bc i know im tired but i am having thOUGHTs
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lemongogo · 1 year ago
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higuchisora · 1 month ago
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As briefly explored in this post, Vi's "enforcer arc" could've gone plenty of different ways- including not at all. This actually gave me another idea, though it kind of takes some fiddling and setup.
Basing a bit of this idea once more off of @srslylini proposing the possibility of Vi becoming some kind of important figure in Zaun, I think it'd be interesting to see Vi becoming something Piltover sees as an "enforcer", but for Zaun instead. This is somewhat related to this post, though it doesn't necessarily have to be to work.
Basically, if Zaun is trying to become independent, just demanding it isn't going to work, as seen in the entirety of the show. They'd need some serious stuff up their sleeves.
Obviously they have Jinx, and even Ekko, but as established in my previous post delving into the revolution-arc-that-wasn't, Jinx really isn't the activist type. And also, strong and smart as she is, there's only one of her. She'd need assistance, even if she DID have a change of heart. (This could lead into Vi and Jinx's slow reconciliation as sisters, as well as tie into season 1's themes about cycles and their fathers and how they can't achieve anything if they don't work together, etc. But I've already discussed this in the previous post.)
In a version of Arcane in which Zaun is politically fractured instead of the relative monolith it gets presented as, Vi, as probably Vander's most recognizable child, might receive some level of (unasked for) political support from people who essentially want a new Vander. Jinx and Ekko (and possibly Sevika) might also have factions of varying sizes as well.
The thing is, they're all being supported for different reasons. Jinx's main followers are seen as "blue haired radicals" (lol) who want war, Sevika's as people who want familiarity/think she can control the Chem-Barons or Jinx, Ekko's as people who're probably tired of fighting and just want peace/are hoping he has better solutions than shimmer and gangs, etc., and Vi, as I said, has people who want another Vander, who want the relative security and quiet of that era back. In other words, they each mean something different to people. And in order to make their reluctant alliance work, they'll each have to embody this "persona"/symbolism to some extent, at least to the public.
So maybe, in line with the perception of her being the "new Vander", the next "Hound of the Underground", Vi (possibly with new gauntlets, courtesy of Jinx - shoutout @blog-i-hate-friday) takes on a "protector" type image for Zaun? Jinx is the rage/spirit of rebellion, Ekko (and his cool ass tree) is the hope, Sevika's the brains that runs their messy operation, and Vi is the defender. To Piltover, they're seen as Zaun's "council". Overdramatized stories of them repaints their stations in ways the Piltovans deem more "palatable" and "civilized", with Vi as their "chief enforcer", as she and her crew are in charge of keeping actual Piltovan enforcers off of Zaun's soil and generally protecting their fellow Zaunites. Jinx spends more time making gadgets than she does blowing stuff up, but the mark she left on Piltover makes the image of the "loose canon" impossible to shake. Ekko is more worried about implementing water filtration systems or running the Firelights- who often patrol with Vi's people- to be "terrorizing" Piltover, but they still think the Firelights were responsible for Progress Day. Perhaps he becomes, in their eyes, something of a cult leader (after all, they call him the Boy Savior, he who inspires so much hope- this must be for a reason, right?). Sevika is nothing like Silco- but it makes it easier for the Piltovans to pretend she is, than to accept that a wine aunt and her team of traumatized barely-adults are running circles around them.
Eventually, in some possible future in which Zaun's demands are finally accepted- that is how Piltover will address them, aligning with their League Champion titles (though they do not have the guts to refer to Jinx as the Loose Canon to her or her allies' faces).
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extravagav · 8 months ago
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Yk I never did truly recover from the sick fic chapter
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lovesickeros · 4 months ago
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now that natlan is out it's tsaritsa yearning hours again because i am one nation closer to either being horribly disappointed or foaming at the mouth!
creator!reader w a little side of conflicted tsaritsa is such good food I can't not yap about it. a woman who has dedicated so much of her life to severing herself from "love" of all kinds and succeeding and. just being so confident that when she meets you she's bitter and angry and mean. because she can't stand you. she isn't supposed to love yet you worm your way into her heart anyway and you don't even know it.
especially in smth like an imposter au. she tells herself your just a tool for her to use but your treated like the Divine you really are, pampered and spoiled every step. tells herself it means nothing when she indulges you – let's you hold her hand in private, eventually let's you move aside the veil, just a little.
and she hates it. hates how easy it is to let you break down the ice she's built up for years.
all you do is smile and she feels like she can't breathe. because despite how violently she rejects love in all aspects, it always bleeds through eventually. she despises it but the way you brush your thumbs over her cheeks makes her bitter and warm and it infuriates her to no end.
she hates you and she loves you and she can't stand you and if you were ever taken from her she'd destroy every inch of teyvat if she had to go get you back.
and ironically enough I think she'd also be the one to initiate any first kiss. maybe she's still trying to convince herself it's just a fluke and itll make her realize it meant nothing, it means nothing. desperate to fix whatever you've done to her and instead it just makes it worse.
a horrible mess of a woman who gave up on love just to be confronted with it when she finally accepted it's absence.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#tsaritsa#new nation releases. i can only think abt the tsaritsa. checks out.#yearning so bad i cracked my phone screen but im still using it 2 make it everyone elses problem lol#this is kind of similar 2 another yapping session i wrote s while back but ehe#snezhnaya will ruin me istg#constantly torn between manipulative tsaritsa and tsaritsa who is nothing but tender because she is love. even if dhe rejects it#she is both and its horrible 2 try snd write like. okay.#soft tsaritsa is so tasty though....kissing your wrist in mock reverence before the archons#letting you snd you alone see her face beneath the veil. smug and horribly arrogant but so madly incomprehensibly in love it consumes u both#but also possessive tsaritsa is so 🤤#reverts to her old ways immediately. frigid ice cube until further notice. she won't confront them in front of you but lord#she is sending them to dottore STAT#shivering at the cold stare of the tsaritsa on your back knowing shes .7 seconds away from making teyvat enter an ice age#i hc her senses like taste/touch/smell r severely dulled. not related just a small hc :]#a fun fact if u will#soft tsaritsa is good but dhehjssjsjs tsaritsa being overprotective and possessive hits different rn.....#i need her to sling me over her shoulder and lock me away just let me bring my cat and heating pad im set#head empty tsaritsa scaring off any other wannabe suitors while acting innocent (no ones buying it bc her glare is MURDEROUS)#that and the floor is starting to ice over.#n e way 💤💤💤
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n1blakelover · 5 months ago
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i feel like i’m the only one that doesn’t want arc 3 (seasons 8-10) to be set far into the future. like im talking 10 years into the future. because i know that if this happens and the characters are in marriages and have their own children then the story is more than likely going to be about their children and i personally want to know more about the characters we’ve been with, not their kids. don’t get me wrong, i would love to see domestic rayllum and their kids and how all the other characters have grown up, but i don’t want those children to be the focus. i want more of the characters we already know and love. which is why if we do get arc 3, i want it to still be about our main characters (obviously while branching out to seeing others like how arc 2 has branched out to lux aurea) and their conflicts and stories and lives. i’ve seen a lot of theories for how they could still be the focus and my favorite one is probably with the antagonists being the cosmic order against our characters
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spaciebabie · 2 months ago
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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frobby · 4 months ago
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do yall see my vision?
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satans-knitwear · 10 months ago
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I need to pick out some outfits for the weekend but I don't even know where to start 🤔🎀
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
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*adds cat ears* there. Done.
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ciderjacks · 3 months ago
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therapy
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crystallizsch · 1 month ago
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thinking about how if anyone in twst asks about what yuu/mc’s og world is called (assuming it’s just the real life version of our own)
The world you live in is called "Earth"? As in... dirt?
....WELL, when you put it that way-
imagine being isekai’d to a place called “twisted wonderland” magicless in a magic academy AND when someone asks you where you're originally from you just say "dirt"
cant even pick a struggle because theyre never ending
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