#I just hope and wish people understand
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Been seeing lots or aro, ace and aroace posting so letme say my two cents as somebody in the aroace spectrum.
× Yes, aros can fall madly in love with somebody, almost as of it is a spectrum and not a box. You still shouldn't expect an aro to fall in love with you, you aren't entitled to our romantic love.
× Yes, aces can have a high sex drive, because just like last point, it is a spectrum, not a box. Still, again, you shouldn't expect an ace person to have sex with you. You aren't entitled to our sexual intimacy.
× Aces can be alloromantic (WOW) almost as if asexual mean asexual and not aroace! What a shocker!!!
× For the most shocking one yet... Aros can be allosexual (WHAT?!) I know! Incredible! But aromanticism can exist without having to be held by the hand by asexuality (mind blow!!!!) a person can be the horniest person to even exist and still be aromantic and repulsed by romance!
× last point, kind if a refresh BOTH AROMANTICISM AND ASEXUALITY ARE SPECTRUMS AND EVERYBODY CAN ACT/DRESS HOWEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT WHILE HAVING THESE LABELS. NOBODY FUCKING OWES YOU PROVING THEIR LABEL.
I hope this was helpful or insightful 😊
#Ace#Aro#Aroace#Aroace pride#Aro pride#Ace pride#Pride month#it gets tiring#I just hope and wish people understand#It gets painful to hear shit like#'I am ace and aro so ace without adetives' like#No??? That's not how it works#Also both the sunset aroace flag and mashed aroace flag are valid#Both of them are pretty and both of them are valid#kai's rambles
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#past few days my brain lives separately from me ehehghe#this is a good feeling but your attention just don't concentrate on anything properly#you just read watch draw something in a prostration even if want to get back to things you want or need to do#pfffhghtht I hope everyone is having a wonderful week day night evening sleep or whatever you have right now#I wanna talk but I also understand I don't have powers to talk#Just wanna say that I fricking love people I hope you all get your wishes accomplished
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Anyway I wish this show was actually bold enough to give Miguel an arc exploring his feelings of entitlement over the captaincy spot. Throughout the show Johnny has repeatedly told Miguel that Robby is a lost cause but hey, It’s okay because he has Miguel now. That Miguel’s his champion, his Number One Boy. So how could Miguel not feel at least somewhat entitled to the captain spot? How could he not feel insecure about his place in Johnny’s life with Robby not just back in the picture, but now literally taking the number one spot? When Johnny has repeatedly put into both kids heads that when it comes to his love and attention its one vs. the other, how could there be no lingering feelings of resentment and jealousy?
#like my kingdom for them to let miguel have Real Actual Feelings about anything ever!#i dont have any real hopes of them actually exploring this#i think any frustration miguel feels towards robbys will be framed solely in the context of him being stressed about getting into stanford#which is also like. i wish this show would show us WHY miguel cares so much about stanford#and its not like its not understandable!#people talk about robbys trauma bc its so plainly obvious#but after the year or two miguels had it makes sense that he wants a real tangible Win#that he wouldn’t want all the pain and trauma to be for nothing. that he can spin it as a triumphant story of how he overcame#some extreme adversity to get into one of the top schools in the country#but the show hasnt actually shown us that miguel feels that way at all#and i dont need them to spell it all out for me hut man it would be nice to give us SOMETHING. literally anything even remotely close to an#actual arc for Miguel before the show ends#and like none of this is miguel or johnny or robby hate btw…characters are flawed and thats a good thing#i just wish the show would actually explore the impact of those flaws on the people around them#and also jealousy is a very normal feeling as is competition in sports#but it would be cool if the explored how that is compounded by everything johnny has put these kids through and the way he has constantly#even if unintentionally positioned them against each other#but anyway!#cobra kai#miguel diaz#robby keene
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does near every single post-canon DE fic out there need to be tagged ‘Sober Harry Du Bois’? i’m getting so tired of it.
do i expect every single piece of fan content to have to fully delve into the often-depressing always-complex topic of addiction? not really. sometimes you just want to write/read a silly fluffy romance one-shot, whatever. i get it. but i think my issue is specifically with the fact that for nearly every sillyfluffy au out there, there almost must be a ‘sober harry du bois’ tag. and it does feel very slapped-on more often than not.
i think to me it is an unconscious statement that nothing *good* can ever happen to harry du bois until he is completely and permanently sober. before solving the next big case, he has to be sober. before quitting the force, he has to be sober. before falling in love with kim, he has to be sober. before accomplishing anything, starting any sort of recovery, making any life improvement, he must first be sober.
sobriety as a goal, as a journey, and honestly as a concept in of itself is not as cut and dry as so many people think it is. and i think it would serve a lot of people well if they did some introspection on the implications of how nearly every single post-canon fic that isn’t dealing directly with harry’s addiction have him as completely sober instead.
if the plot of the fic isn’t going to touch directly on harry’s substance use (and again, i’m not demanding that every single fic should), why does that mean that sober!harry must be the default?
i think i am just tired of reading a casefic, a smutty one-shot, a fantasy au, whatever, where it almost seems that before getting on with the plot, the author feels obligated to first assure us that the harry we’re reading about is a Sober Harry. it’s established with a couple lines in the exposition, probably about his improved appearance, a tag up top, and then never brought up again; a checkmarked box. like the societal image of An Addict has completely prevented people from being able to imagine a person just, continuing to live life, while still struggling with addiction.
life happens, with all of its backslides and achievements, mundanity and changes, to people with drug addictions just as much as people who don’t. is a post-canon harry who isn’t sober not worth writing about?
i think so. i think the game we all played thinks so too. in fact i think that sentiment is woven into the game’s very core. i just wish i saw that reflected in our fan content more.
#i really hope my point is understandable in that it isn’t that i think that stories where harry *does* become sober aren’t also valuable.#or that i want every post-canon harry to *not* be sober.#but rather questioning why there seems to be a subconcious necessity for harry to be sober to have kind things happen to him.#disco elysium#harry du bois#also obligatory because i am putting this in the main tag:#this isn’t a callout or vague on any one person/creator/group of people in particular#it’s more of a prompt to discussion on a very broad trend#one informed by insidious biases that live in all of us because we live in a society etc#that none of us are immune to but all of us have a responsibility to acknowledge#if there is goal to this post it’s to provoke introspection. not individual attacks#anyways i love quietly consuming fan content until something annoys me enough to make my own post about it#i do wish i Participated in fan communities more tbh especially this one i’m just shy lol#most of the time.#me talking
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Do you think that Laura and Marisha are deliberately making their relationship somewhat toxic and unsustainable or do you think they see the relationship as healthy? It is just so different from all of the other relationships they have been a part of and not really in a good way. Would love to get your perspective on it if you have one
I am honestly unsure. I would like to say it's deliberate. Prior to it becoming canon, in fact, I, and a lot of other people who were less than enthused by Imogen and Laudna's romance and weren't entirely sold from the start, made the case that we expected they would be talking to each other and would put together a compelling story, not the dull fluff so common in fanon. While whether it's compelling is a subjective judgment, we know for a fact they didn't talk to each other. We know for a fact Marisha was surprised by the question of "Can I kiss you," and Laura was surprised by the answer. We know from a 4SD not long after (4SD #16, Kiss and Tell) that several episodes later they still hadn't talked. We know that Marisha perceives Laudna as holding Imogen back (and that Laudna perceives herself as doing so) from the Rose City Q&A. We know that from 4SD #20 (Episode Twenty) that Laura doesn't like conflict in narrative and Marisha does, and that Laura was thrown by Laudna's regression following Ashton's attempt to absorb the shard (4SD #19, Shard Candy).
I don't know if it's deliberate or not; I don't have any extra insight that isn't public knowledge any fan can easily access. But man, it doesn't feel like these are two actors on the same page about what's going on.
I've touched on this before but mostly in tags or whisper posts but I've always felt ill at ease with a number of for lack of a better term "fandom-approved opinions" and one of the ones that has baffled me the most is this idea that Marisha and Laura have exceptional chemistry. I watched Campaign 1 knowing the endgame ships but deliberately avoiding the fandom, and Vex and Keyleth did not even once occur to me as a thing. I watched the first year of Campaign 2 without a ton of fandom interaction because I was avoiding additional C1 spoilers and it seemed crystal clear that the obvious ship was Beau and Yasha; it felt like Beau and Jester only even had enough potential for me to multiship it as my general "whomever Jester picks" for like, 30 episodes. And yet people - people who didn't even ship either of the above ships and in some cases disliked them- would just say "oh man I can't wait until we get to a campaign where we can finally explore Marisha and Laura's incredible chemistry!" and it's like. I feel like I'm the kid in the Emperor's New Clothes on this! I understand that chemistry is to an extent a matter of taste and subjectivity, but it just increasingly feels like people looked at two campaigns of tables where Ashley was frequently absent and said "well, if I want an F/F ship that's between two of the women in the cast, I guess this is what I have to work with" and repeated to themselves that a flat pamplemousse La Croix was a Piña Colada until they started to believe it. I mean if someone wants to explain it to me in good faith I suppose be my guest and I will try to take it in, but it feels like people just treat this as incontrovertible fact and if you doubt it they're like "don't you have eyes" and it's like, well, pretend I don't. Explain like I'm eyeless and five because I have never understood this. They both have more chemistry with every single other cast member; it's not all romantic but man, I didn't even buy Laudna and Imogen as platonic best friends of two years. I have never had this problem with any other pre-existing character relationships Marisha and Laura have played, platonic or otherwise. It's literally just them. I just never feel like they're quite on the same page.
Back to the relationship between Imogen and Laudna onscreen, this was easily the best conversation since the start of the gnarlrock fight, and it is my hope it doesn't fizzle out the way that did. You can't keep kissing Laudna whenever she fears she's lost forever to Delilah, Imogen. Or you can, but that won't fix the problem. Again: are you disgusted? Do you feel betrayed? If you're not, why did you say that? If you are, how will you move past it? Do you want to be with someone who never feels like they're good enough for you? Laudna, do you want to be with someone who, no matter what they say, you feel you're holding back?
Early in the campaign, my feeling was that of our current situation, switched - Imogen felt her powers were a burden and a curse and Laudna kept referring to them and to her glowingly. It's just...ships passing in the night, no pun intended here. I hope it's on purpose and whatever comes from it is a good story - and either a tragedy or a happy story could be a good one. But I have a nagging sensation that Laudna wants out but is afraid to say no, and Imogen is afraid to let go, and I honestly don't know if the actors have realized this impasse and how the characters might resolve it, one way or another, besides the insufficient bandaid of a kiss whenever the conversation gets too uncomfortable.
#answered#minxie-the-sabertooth-kitty#really the mission statement of this blog is I am the kid in the Emperor's New Clothes#also i know i keep relying on food metaphors sorry i really like food and feel it's fairly universally accessible to understand#anyway. i am sure some will not believe me here but I think I and most people who agree with me desperately wish we liked this ship#i do not think most people who dislike it are actively hoping it crashes and burns it's just#it feels so fundamentally disconnected and lifeless. at least the conflict shocks it into something vaguely animated#the vindication i was right about this lack of chemistry is still ultimately a consolation prize. i promise you i'd rather be proven wrong#i'd rather be wowed by a brilliant dynamic ship i didn't expect to like. but here we are.#cr spoilers#long post
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He found out he’s not the highest rated anymore….isn’t taking it too well <<
#wallowing in that feeling of missing out or not being good enough for others standards (or even your own tbh) :))#no but actually I hope no one takes this post the wrong way#it was actually very therapeutic to draw this?#I know some people don’t like seeing their comfort character in distress but for me it’s almost reassuring#knowing that even this silly guy has hard days. Makes them feel human and sympathetic?#like they understand hardships and still persist despite it all#I hope no one takes offense :( don’t worry he’ll be feeling better about it soon enough 💜#but I also have no issues with this art being taken humorous#(because he do be ugly crying like a desperate teenager that got rejected)#reminds me of the ‘no your cringe’ meme someone else drew Mr. Puzzles too lol#so you can interpret this art as serious or silly I don’t care either way honestly#My inspiration here is that after he was defeated he kinda spent a couple days upset about it#started to cut apart star shaped fairy lights in frustration and cut out paper to resemble stars he wished he could have#just kinda going berserk in outrage obsessing over star shaped objects to fill that void#hence why it looks like there’s arts & crafts and Star glitter everywhere on the floor lol#but like I said you can make up your own story and narrative for it <3#hplonesome art#mr puzzles fanart#cw crying#tw crying#mr puzzles crying#crying mr puzzles#smg4 mr puzzles fanart
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i was rereading the story dialog for the sephirah while ago (upper layer so far considering i have a doc to contain all of my ramblings and thoughts once looking it over and getting actual lines to be able to know exactly what was said to base my feelings off of rather than the pure unfiltered pain or i suppose somewhat shock at first and those garbled memories of what happened) and after reading tiphereth's and then going to netzach's again it's just.
imagine you have to see what is deemed your other half, the person keeping you sane, your only companion you actually love and like, your literal ‘twin’ have to get crushed but some bum that never does his job and can easily be seen as 'not meeting standards' does get the same treatment at all when your own brother had been destroyed for less like spiraling into some dangerous stains of thoughts (thought be fair he did end up not as respondent and at that point already had what i'll inadequately describe as 'memory leakage' . But from the general idea of the side of tiphereth). he'll be more better than that drug addict ever will be in her eyes, someone who can't even do a report on time and even then is half assed to where at that point they'd just do it themself in the first place. he'll be way better, someone who is quite literally her family. yet why is her brother the only one that needs to suffer through that constant degradation of the soul? the constant wiping of the self? the memories made and lost? why the hell is someone that should deserve it in her eyes, someone so unmotivated and lazy, someone who she deems as a person not able to do a single thing right, not having that happen to them? why is it the person she loves so dearly, so close to her that she wishes would've stayed instead of some now hollow husk and imitation of imprinted memories when that hasn't happened to Any One Else? why does she have to go through all of that, having to see someone that she used to know and adore turn into a hollow husk and imitation of what once was - having to feel as if shes already looking at a walking corpse with memories shoved inside - just for someone like Netzach to not end up crushed to pieces.
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#tiphereth#lobotomy corp ramblings#netzach#i suppose so? im not quite sure but it does reference him#JUST SO YOU KNOW i adore him and dont hate him for feeling as if he has to depend on substances to even get through the day or exist#or to 'survive' in a situation when he was unwillingly even put into the position of hopelessly having to be in charge of people's lives#it's a bit odd because i tend to switch to 'you' when writing from a purely emotional standpoint when trying to get into a mindset#so it might seem like i agree. NO . NO?? just trying to maybe understand what she couldve felt at that moment#im not that clear with my words sometimes and i dont want them to be taken in a wrong way....... i hope it communicates what i wish it to#its not pure animosity. but for someone who is already grieving another who is standing right next to her she likely--#-- holds some amount of hate and distaste towards him. in lobcorp already considering his work ethic and having to do a job#OH THEY REMIND ME OF ADAM AND EVE FROM NIER AUTOMATA#one wanting to try and ascertain a 'reason' or 'truth' of existence while the other one just wants them to stay By Their Side.#not caring for that 'deeper meaning' or if there is any 'meaning' at all. their 'meaning' was their love. their life was the two of them#together. side by side. wanting the other and that was good enough for them.#not EXACTLY the same but the idea of loss and two siblings . with generally the same idea yk.#lobotomy corp spoilers#ALMOST FORGOT THAT yeah spoilers.#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you feel a different way or see it in another way tell me i want to understand more#lobotomy corporation spoilers
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what are your thoughts on Madoka and Sayaka's relationship? I always thought it was underrated for how complex and tragic it is.
Madoka and Sayaka's relationship function similarly to that of a knight and a princess, so both their friendship or couple pairing are interesting to me. It seems to be intentional that Sayaka was crafted with a knight motif in mind to click with Madoka's vulnerability. The tragedy is that Sayaka was way too young and inexperienced to be shouldering such expectations in a friendship. Taking up the role of a protector at every turn because she wanted to protect everyone has always been a contributing factor to how fast Sayaka burned out.
Contrarily, Madoka's struggle with her own helplessness throughout the show was also part of the reason why Sayaka said a lot of terrible thing to her, but deeply regretted her actions to the point where she succumbed to Witching out away from Madoka. Madoka, at least in this "final" timeline, was not there to see her own childhood best friend change into something else. To, in a way, "die", and be reborn as the same monster that all magical girls were hunting after in a frenzy. Homura was right that Sayaka brings Madoka grief — it seems that in almost timeline, since Sayaka becomes a Witch as long as she becomes a magical girl unlike Mami or Kyoko, Sayaka is a consistent source of Madoka's grief. Whenever Madoka becomes a magical girl, then, her aspirations are based on Sayaka's sacrifice and ideals, except Madoka actually has the power to "save everyone". I believe Madoka loved Sayaka as Sayaka may not have been an "effective" magical girl, but she was the one who was willing to sacrifice her soul for her ideals, regardless of how naïve they were. To Madoka, who was so ensnared by her sense of uselessness, Sayaka was the closest thing to an idol or a star for the courage required to be a magical girl. Sayaka's desire to make the world a safer and justified place for people was so inspiring to Madoka that even when Madoka becomes Kriemhild Gretchen, the Witch's whole gimmick is "creating heaven on earth, a Witch content only if there is no more grief in existence". A prospect deeply held onto by Madoka that even Gretchen embodies it.
It's probably why Madoka's wish to save all magical girls would definitely sound equally impossible to he audience and the incubators, but Madoka herself says, "If someone says it's wrong to hope, I will tell them that they're wrong every time." Sayaka was often called foolish for her ideals and hopes, and Madoka was the only other person aside from Kyoko who understands Sayaka's struggles so much that she outright tells people that Sayaka was never wrong — this is how Madoka protects Sayaka. Madoka would never want anyone to say any of the magical girls' wishes were wrong or foolish. It was how Sayaka also found her peace at the end of the show: to be understood and not viewed as an object that would eventually be replaced in the cycle of magical girls and Witches.
Madoka and Sayaka eventually learned how to protect each other. Sayaka doesn't need to suffer from her own overbearing expectations anymore, and Madoka can finally be something even more to protect her angel: A God.
#they are so tragic#madoka makes me cry thinking about how she was so compassionate that she never actually hated any of the witches#only ever looking upon them with sadness for what they were even before she knew how Witches were made#it's why i don't like people who claim they love madoka but despise sayaka#like you do understand that Madoka loved sayaka so much she made sayaka her own angel and tells you straight up that it's not wrong to hope#madoka not being unkind to sayaka despite everything is so...makes my heart hurt#Sayaka wasn't evil or selfish she just really wanted to mean a whole lot to someone that mattered#inevitably she was emotionally charged and in that moment she forgot madoka was always there for her and vice versa#which drove her to try and quietly witch out alone in a train station with kyoko#you can say what you wish but Sayaka's ideals were so tragic that both kyoko and madoka were affected by them#and that's the biggest tragedy of it all honestly#madoka scenes make me cry and I'm not kidding she wanted to help so bad#Sayaka Archives#ASKS 💌
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I do kind of want to briefly ramble about Akechi’s rank 4 scene though because it kind of pleasantly surprised me?
So Akechi takes Joker to the jazz bar, which is his place to get away from it all, kind of his safe spot. His best options are when you give responses that show excitement and enthusiasm about the place, which is… aw.
Then the conversation segues into Akechi asking if Joker has a place like that, where he feels at ease, and all of the responses obviously reference Leblanc. First of all, that’s really sweet to have a kind of confirmation of that - Joker and Sojiro had a rocky start to their dynamic, but now he’s feeling like it’s a safe spot for him, and with Morgana there too, and the Thieves having come to visit a few times, maybe even more of a home than the one he left (though perhaps that’s pushing it?).
Secondly though, alarm bells were going through my head, because nowhere in all of this business does it seem a good idea to tell the detective investigating me where I live and am now operating my heists from. (Even though he probably could find that out easily… but still.)
So I picked the vaguest option, to be on the safe side, but little did I know that it doesn’t matter.
Because Joker tells Akechi about Leblanc anyways. Completely without player input. And at first I was a bit taken aback, but then it made a lot of sense.
For one thing, it confirms that Akechi is being genuine about this being his place to feel at ease. Not that I doubted that, but Akechi often says one thing and means multiple; he’s quite good at controlling the flow and direction of a conversation to get the info he wants. But that’s not the vibe I got here at all. He’s just… sharing it. Wants Joker to enjoy it the way he does. It’s actually a fair amount of openness, especially in that he’s never shared that place with anyone else before. And so Joker returns that openness with an honest answer and his own place of comfort - prioritizing returning Akechi’s honesty with his own instead of potential repercussions. Wild. I love it. And it tracks from their previous interactions.
Akechi downplays his skills by using his non-dominant hand, which Joker notices. Joker returns that (whether intentionally or inadvertently, I can’t actually say) when he puts his glasses on Akechi - the fake glasses that he wears, ostensibly, so as not to draw attention to himself. There’s a sense of honesty for honesty here, openness for openness, particularly from Joker. It’s just interesting.
#as an aside I also find it interesting that its joker who’s finding points of commonality#in many of the other confidant ranks the other people find commonalities between themselves and joker#but joker draws commonalities between himself and Akechi more often (I think? seems that way)#I kind of read it as joker being a bit confused by Akechi’s antagonism towards the thieves#like ‘hey see we’re not so different. why are you so against us?’#I don’t think he understands Akechi’s motivations. maybe he’s hoping to convince him? or maybe he’s trying to dig for info just as much#Akechi wants to catch the thieves. Joker wants to understand why he wants to catch the thieves#kind of. maybe.#and in the meantime they’re just… hanging out. chilling. you know. as you do.#that rank 5 was wild though lmao#‘are you used to gunplay’ ‘oh yeah im practicing to take you out lol’ ‘?!?!?!’#<-holy double meanings. also what the fuck Akechi.#what does that even fucking mean???#same guy who texts you in the middle of the night with tickets to the aquarium.#i wish I knew what the hell was going on here. I’m very entertained though#storyrambles#story plays persona 5#p5r#random thoughts
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Hii Maddy, do you have any recommendations for getting into Fear and Hunger without playing the games? Are there any good play throughs maybe? Im so intrigued by the world and characters but I doubt I'd have the free time and patience to really dig into the games </3
✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ ) OF COURSE!!!! Here's a bunch of Fear & Hunger recommendations!! As a warning: Most people who upload Fear & Hunger content sadly have to use a mod that censors nudity and some of the gore because of YouTube and Twitch's policies.
So if you see pine cones everywhere that’s why.
Connordawg: Click Here
He has a very fun edited letsplay of both games!
Frapollo94: Click Here
I'm OBSESSED with watching his Fear & Hunger challenge videos. I've learned a lot about the games' mechanics and bugs from him.
NoCommentaryArchive: Click Here
Their entire channel is just scenes from both Fear & Hunger games.
Omni World: Click Here
They also upload scenes from both Fear & Hunger games.
Shadow the Axolotl:
Part 1: Click Here Part 2: Click Here Part 3: Click Here
They have a great three part series going over the time line in chronological order. I also like that they acknowledge what endings are canon.
Pugsr: Click Here
They have a video about Le'garde and one about the God of the Depths that I like.
Lucky: Click Here
She makes these AWESOME analysis videos about different topics within Fear & Hunger. Lucky's voice is also extremely soothing.
Fear & Hunger Wiki: Click Here
Highly recommend using this wiki instead of the fandom wiki.
#(' ^_^) Off topic but I'll admit at times I find the censorship frustrating to look at . . .#I love the existence of mods. While it doesn't bother me I understand there's things in F&H many people aren't comfortable seeing.#I just wish YouTubers didn't have to censor the game 𝗦𝗢 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗩𝗜𝗟𝗬 to upload it.#I'm not going to die if I see the Cavemother's boobs.#Also I currently watch more content about the original F&H game because I'm waiting for the update for Termina to come out.#There's still 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 of lore I'm trying to learn myself but I hope these recommendations help you begin getting into Fear & Hunger!!#MaddyMoreauPost#Ask#Long Text
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#vent#why cant i get used to things#like why am i crying this isnt something not normal you do this all the time#i dont want to#i feel like a fucking kid wtf why am i crying#get over urself nothings gonna work out#i dont get it when do stuff stop hurting??? because i hate this so much#i hate everything i hate my life rn i really really truly wish i was dead now#i wish i was braver because then i could be#but im not. and i hate it#everythings just shit always and i dont understand why people are just ok with it. cant life be better maybe? i would like it then#and i cant so anything to fix any of my problems and idk what to do#i really dont wanna do any of these things#i hope i die i feel bad about it but i kinda really do hope so… even if its rude to my family i feel so bad about it i love them#but i fucking hate this
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it's normal to be disappointed when you learn that your dreams are already dead. but just like a phoenix, our death will lead us to our own rebirth; and like a supernova, some deaths are beautiful.
#context is in the tags where i hide#which will be a lot#so uh#you all probably know about... my au.#all the team is busy. of course including me.#one's in uni; the other... idk. probably living his life.#as i mentioned in a previous post i've been missing the times when the group was still as active as how young people would be#and the youthful days i had in general#one thing i used to be scared of is change.#now i don't think i'm scared of change anymore. just dreadful but no longer scared#because change is inevitable and there's nothing we can do#so uhhh#go with the flow i guess#i always let the people i cherish live their own lives and i give them all the privacy they need#even if it means not being able to keep in touch with them#that is if they'd still remember me#whether they would or wouldn't that's okay with me#(no hard feelings everything is genuine and honest)#so... let's go straight to the point#the au would probably end up being solely written... that is if the art stuff doesn't push through#it's not like i've grown sick of those 'promises' i totally understand them i SWEAR.#i just don't wish to be misunderstood but like i just. couldn't spit all of it out in front of them#i'm sorry for being a coward#and if you see this... i don't know. probably tell me how you're doing? and either give me hopes that this could all still be sorted out-#or tell me if it's impossible at this point?#please just don't give me any false hope.#and... if we all ever don't push through#i'm genuinely sorry if i tired you or wasted your time and energy.#i'm sorry for dragging you to all my demands and perfectionisms and insecurities#missing entry
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[note: i know for a fact i'm doing this for the same reason that i fixate on nebulous fandom anxieties at other times: helplessness regarding anxieties about larger geopolitical issues]
feeling in a very weird position right now thinking about the fact theres a nonzero chance that either one of the cosplayers ive become acquainted with or someone in their immediate circle could do brownface in the future and people are gonna come at me like 'hey why are you not calling them out and/or giving them a racial sensitivity seminar and/or personally fistfighting them on the floor of the doujin circle event'
#i strongly feel westerners darkening their skin for cosplay are generally doing it in an 'i know this is offensive and dont care' edgy way#but people over here largely Dont Fucking Know because the cultural context behind why it's bad is not there#and i don't...personally feel like it's my job either to educate near-strangers on this or to make a big deal out of how i condemn it#(someone i just met and already became fond of said she wants to dress as a brown character and im already getting nervous#in case she does end up painting her skin and the pics are shared around or come to the attention of the western ppl i know in fandom#imagining people that i know pointing at me and going Hey Ebil You Are Brown. So You Hate Her Now Right? Slash Why Didnt You Stop Her)#cool. great. i wish instead of brown i were Invisible Color#id actually love if eventually people over here did learn more about that through me?#not even in an I Have To Correct Them way. just a cultural exchange way. the way im glad to learn what offends japanese ppl#they might find it interesting and worth knowing! but my ass trying to lecture people right now would absolutely just be...bad. bad.#'oh i just met this american and they seemed cool but then they started going on about how i was offending american values so. gaijins eh'#it's obvious to me nothing constructive would be achieved. i just hope people understand that.#i dunno. i dunno. i dunnoooooo.
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List of honoured boopers, i love you all verry much guys
@generoustacotheorist @just-a-gender-fluid-puddle @alexparozi @moss-ghoulette @p4nishers @tabbbbyyyy @keepsdrifting
and i couldn't just leave you without some kind of a prize. get ready, SUPER-DUPER BOOP !!
<]
#i know it's not the very end of the day but#I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!!#hopefully you dont mind me tagging you#this day taugh me to not be that scared to interact and talk to people on Tumblr#BUT STILL WE'RE KINDA STRANGERS..but i hope you understand that we have a boop bond now that is unbreakable#love yall#NOT JUST THE PPL TAGGED HERE#all of you boopers out here#I WISH i could be one of those ppl whose posts BLEW UP today#well in my dreams#NEVERMIND JUST ENJOY THE KITI!!#boop!#desfan-art#boop
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When I first began reading/ watching OPM I use to really, really hate Tatsumaki. She was probably my least favourite character from the main cast for over a year. I tried to hide it in my posts but I despised her.
Even back then I knew why, Tatsumaki reminded me of my older sister who at the time I did not have a great relationship with. Not only would I say Tatsumaki has my sisters personality and motivations amplified to the extreme, but my sister was seen as ‘better’ by everyone around me, or at least it felt like that to me. My sister obviously isn’t an esper prodigy but she is seen as smarter, prettier, more likeable you know the drill. The Psychic sisters arc was probably one of my least favourite arcs unsurprisingly, I can understand Fubuki’s feelings towards her sister completely. You would think this would make me like Fubuki …but back then I didn’t like her that much either lmao.
The manga, especially the chapters for the monster association arc, did a great job of changing my perspective of Tatsumaki. I can see why she’s the way she is and even if I disagree with her methods I do like her character now, I prefer her to Fubuki. I used to hate webcomic counterpart as well but ever since the mangas MA and psychic sisters arc I like her webcomic self also.
The relationship improvement with my sister played a part in this as well. My sister wanted to make sure I could stand in my own two feet but she went about it the wrong way, which was what Tatsumaki also did. So understanding my sisters motivations and the manga chapters made me understand and like Tatsumaki more.
#the fact I’ve only scenes I’ve resonated with on tv or manga or whatever was the psychic sisters and the sisters scenes in fleabag#probably gives a good idea about my how my relationship wish my sister was a few years ago it’s not perfect now but it’s getting better#also I realised around two years ago some of the people I’m friends with remind me of my sister a lot#I don’t know if this post is more about Tatsumaki or my sister now#what I’m trying to say is my view on Tatsumaki is correlated to my relationship with my sister#im hope this doesn’t come across as me seeing Tatsumaki in my sister because it’s the other way around#also sisters in media I’ve been relationg to a lot lately like genshin chasca and her sister actually struck a cord#I usually can’t relate at all to shows or games ever#I feel like the post makes it sound like I only have one sibling I have a younger brother I’m closer with#I don’t see a lot of media with older sister younger brother ?#maybe I should watch modern family#one punch man#opm#Tatsumaki#i hope my point came across well#btw I want to say I always knew tats was trying to make Fubuki stand in her two feet it’s just I still hated her back then and didn’t#understand why she had to be so rude about it
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feel like pure shit, just want her back
#james talks#riverdale#miss the whole crew really but Betty especially bc Lili was so magnificent#god as perfect as the finale was (and it really was one of the greatest finales ever) i wish we had gotten another season#they had as good a run as a show on that network could hope for but there are few shows on there that eclipsed the network like Riverdale#like the list includes like. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Gossip Girl. and ig The Vampire Diaries. and that's it.#(that list is for shows almost exclusively produced by the CW. CXG DID have other producing companies but it was largely the CW).#no show will ever quite be like Riverdale ever again and no show will ever reach the heights it did.#especially not on their shoestring CW budget.#like honestly i just need more Riverdale in my life.#like RAS and the writing team found such a great way to turn their weaknesses into strengths.#as an article on the show once said [paraphrased]: it was a great show that was really good at pretending to be bad.#even now nobody gets the show like i do.#everyone thinks it's some silly little show about crazy shit with crazy plotlines and pretty lighting and aesthetics but no substance—#when in reality it's an incredible pulpy anti-fascist text questioning the role of authority using those aesthetics for a larger purpose#but i'll save the real analysis for whenever i get around to actually making the Riverdale video essay i need in my life#unless Quinton Reviews or SuperEyepatchWolf beat me to it first. they're the only people who i think will actually understand the show.#like SuperEyepatchWolf's video on the show is already pretty fun even if it's a little dismissive of the substance of the show—#(tbf to him it only covered up until the S05 mid-season finale and S06 hadn't released yet)#but like he at least feels like he gets the spirit of the show. especially with the wrestling comparison.#and i hope i don't need to explain why Quinton would get it.#anyway. i need the Riverdale crew back.
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