#I just have small communities (irl friends or discord servers) that I talk to about things

[fadejumper]

going on twitter today and seeing any tweet about the dragon age community

[ungrateful-cyborg-moved]

FFXIV Forum

Fuck it, let's try again.

Some time ago I created a forum that didn't stay lively for very long, unfortunately, but I don't want to give up on it as I think forums offer something that no other tool for online community can offer: an actual community that doesn't rely on everyone acting like their own PR/marketing team.

So here it is, in case anyone's interested:

What does it have to offer?

A place to meet artists and roleplayers from the FFXIV fandom, where you won't be assailed by notifications like a Discord server, that's LGBTQ-friendly and won't ask you to post all the time to remain visible (contrary to social media).

What you'll find:

RP sections for your RP threads, easier to manage than on Tumblr, and without the pressure of being seen online on Discord because you wanted to talk to your friends but aren't in the mood for RP

A place to get help to create your character or write an NPC, if you're feeling insecure and want to try your hand at writing/roleplaying

Galleries for your writing, fanarts, screenshots, irl craft, etc. where you don't have to worry about peak hours to be seen

Forums where you can gush about your own characters and get asked questions: no need to have a big following anymore!

A place where you can discuss the lore and share your meta analysis to your heart content

A place to organize your own in-game event and promote it, once again without needing to build a big enough following for it to be noticed!

Yes, there's a NSFW section (that you have to ask to get access to). Forumactif—the host—is not in favor of this, however, so if Etheirys has enough success I might consider hosting it myself (but I'm not rich so we'll start with the free alternative for now and just keep it on the low XD)

And more!

I am taking suggestions to improve it and I'll gladly help you and answer your questions if you're not familiar with forums (or this sort of forums, anyways).

For those who don't know me or find me intimidating to talk to (I know it has happened) I've been leading communities big and small for about 18 years now, and I've always put a big emphasis on fairness, communication and patience.

(Please reblog so more people can see this!)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for breaking things off with a long distance FWB before their visit? (nsfwish)

i (x,27) have been chatting on and off with an online friend for maybe five or six months with M (x,23). we met in an nsfw online community so our relationship was pretty flirty right from the jump and quickly became sexual, though because of the sizeable distance between us, it was always restricted to online. when things first started we talked a lot more frequently, sometimes in a flirty way and sometimes in just a casual friend way, but over time our relationship cooled. i started seeing someone irl (they know about M and vice versa ofc) but around that same time that we sorta made things official, M started talking about coming to visit, which made me wonder if they werent as okay with this new relationship as they said. we'd discussed very loosely the idea of seeing one another irl before, but suddenly those plans started becoming very real and i started to worry. i didnt and honestly dont know how i feel about it anymore. the idea of meeting them in person is still kinda exciting, as theyre a friend and i would like to get to hang out with them, but i wonder now if theyve noticed the dynamic between us has changed a lot since we first started talking, moreso since i have a partner i devote a greater share of my time to, and i worry theyre expecting something from me that im not sure i can give them anymore. i want to talk to them about it but im uncertain for a number of reasons. first, when we started making plans they immediately pitched the idea of a week long visit, which i thought was too long for a first irl meeting and negotiated them down a little. they seemed to understand but also seemed disappointed which sort of fanned the flames of my anxieties about our interests being out of sync. second, due to me living in a small apartment with a roommate, theyd probably be sharing a bed with me, something ive done with friends before and am generally fine with but again, several days, possible mismatched perceptions of our relationship, idk. if we do have this talk, i think i might have to kill our plans altogether.

i do still want to be friends if possible. we run in similar circles, including a shared discord server, and id hate to make things awkward in the group, but it seems to me like, things being how they are right now, this meet up may end in heartbreak, which would then also lead to them being stuck far from home with the person who shot them down :/ how can i give them the "lets just be friends" talk before our meet up (currently planned to be sometime in a few months, so theres at least some time) without being a total asshole?

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: wormweeb

our interviewee today is @wormweeb, author of the cowboy au, nominee in the 2020 MCYTblr election, and overall MCYTblr veteran. below is a transcript of the questions and answers!

Q: What do you remember most fondly about “Early MCYTblr”? (2020-2021)

A: I think early mcytblr had the perfect mix of being an insular, small community with enough people actually posting (whether it be shitposts, art, fix, etc.) to keep the community alive. Perfect reblogger-creator ratio, I think. I loved seeing the familiar notifications from blogs that frequently RBed my stuff and familiar Urls in the tags (which I probably checked daily lol). There was this infectious energy that made being in the fandom so fun, with all the inside jokes and interactions and inter-blog familiarity.

Q: Do you recall your experience in the first MCYTblr election? What was it like?

A: Honestly, there was a lot of anxiety. I didn’t have many friends in the fandom in the sense that I didn’t often DM with people or talk in discord servers. I was kind of reclusive, so having to reach out to find running mates was nerve-racking! And then being thrust into a huge discord server with a bunch of other people I didn’t really know at all… It was all bizarrely anxiety-inducing. I didn’t really care about the results that much, since it was kind just a popularity contest (no hate, just true). I think the elections were cute and fun, another sort of fandom activity that I think only could’ve worked in an insular but involved fandom.

Q: Building off the last question– in my time archiving, I’ve seen people both hold you in high regard and condemn your blog wholesale. Is it odd to be talked about as a pseudo-historical figure in MCYTblr culture? 

A: It’s mind-boggling! When I did all my posting as wormweeb, roughly July 2020 to august 2021, I was 16/17 and literally never left my house due to quarantine. It’s bizarre to think I was influential in that microcosm of a fandom, because I was truthfully just Some Guy irl. It was weird to see the extremes of how people treated me, with some users (much younger than me, I should add) treating me like a cc, with other people acting like I was a toxic supervillain.

At the time, I was deeply concerned with my image in the fandom. I reveled in the shocked reactions to some of my more… avant guard posts… but I was also really bothered when people talked badly about me. I wanted to be liked and popular, but I also wanted to be shocking and critical. I had contradictory motivations behind my posting, which I probably lead to such polarized reactions to my presence in the fandom.

Ultimately, I think it’s super interesting to see how people talk about me — whether they remember me as ‘that one crazy truthing blog’ or the cowboy au author or a proto-critblr poster or a toxic bad takes poster, etc. I don’t take any of it too personally any more, thankfully.

Q: Do you think that MCYTblr’s cultural shift away from crit and ‘truthing’ has been an overall good or bad thing? 

A: I can’t really say. I think it’s natural that as a fandom expands, the most palatable takes will become the dominant ones, and any unpopular criticism / trutherisms will be pushed to the fringe. I can see why some people thought criticism was toxic and truthing was intrusive, but truthfully, I don’t think it reflected any poster’s moral character. I’m not involved in mcytblr anymore, so I don’t know exactly what the state of the current fandom looks like.

Q: Do you ever find yourself missing 2020-2021 MCYTblr? If so, what do you miss the most?

A: I often do miss that era of my life. Truthfully, I miss the attention and (infinitesimally small, microcosmic) cultural import I had. There was an exciting thrill that came with getting notifications every second of the day — that’s not an exaggeration either. I liked having people leave deranged asks in my ask box, or ask my opinion on some random streamer micro controversy, or people asking me when the next chapter of my fanfic would come out (lol). I, of course, miss the other elements of being in an active fandom — the fanfics, the fan artists, the familiarity between blogs,

However… I also know I was mentally unhealthy during that time. I was isolated, so it was fun and exciting to be an ultra-micro celebrity, but at the same time, I took it way too seriously. Because I painted myself as some sort of moral guardian, the great Intellectual Critiquer of content creators, I was terrified to make any bad takes… which, ironically, I made a lot of. I had painted myself into a corner both being dteam critical and (unfortunately) a genuine dteam stan at the time.

Q: Several in-jokes have lost their context (jewge, ancap dream, tradwife george/dream, homophobic dream and sapnap, republican dream, mega milk sapnap/george, etc). Would you like to provide their context, for archival and media literacy purposes?

A: Here’s a rundown for all of them!

“Jewge” was actually sparked by warpedfungusonastick, which I helped popularized. There are a few old videos where George’s friends called him jewge, and that combined with his ashkenazi last name led me to speculate he was jewish — for what its worth, im also jewish. Unfortunately, I think those videos of baby jewge have been lost to time. But nonetheless, that spawned a mini-jewge fandom, which jewge fanart!

Tradwife George and dream… I don’t know even know. I think the idea of “male wives” was trending on general Tumblr at the time. There was already this fandom idea of Dream being a “needy top” and George being the sugar baby/bitchy/uninterested love interest, which I just transplanted onto the idea of tradwifery. Dream as the doting tradwife, George as the unloving tradwife, etc.

Republican/Anarcho-capitalist dream — Ah, this one is kind of embarrassing!! I was really into jreg, and I was, for the first time ever, exposed to political ideas outside of the generic democrat vs republican dichotomy. I was really fascinated by right-wing libertarian or “ancap” ideology, and I already saw dream as a kind of self-made capitalist success story. At least, that’s what he portrayed himself as. My critique of dream and calling him ancap/republican was kind of a baby’s first leftism moment for me… but I nonetheless think the jokes were mostly funny.

Homophobic dream / sapnap — They gave me republican vibes. Dream especially, with some of his older, unsavory tweets, reeked of edgy gamergate humor.

Megamilk sapnap — I didn’t really pioneer this one! I believe this was mostly a Tumblr user who I think was pandascanpvp, or it was Plates gayminecraftmen (or both).

I’ll use this opportunity to catalogue a few more obscure wormweeb-pioneered AUs.

Homestuck au! I think I imagined it as dream = dirk, George = Jake English. Colournotfound (rip gone but not forgotten) did so much of the sustaining of the au.

Scott Pilgrim au. Dream = Scott, George = Ramona. Fundy = envy. This one got fan art!

Q: What was your physical, mental, and emotional reaction when kaceytron pulled up your crit post on stream?

A: Baffled. Excited. God, I wish I had clipped it! I still have a screenshot. I desperately hoped she would read it to dream (who joined the stream later). That felt like I had peaked as a cc stan blog… having a C-list streamer pull up my post on stream. Literally google searching “dream queer baiting” because she didn’t even know what she was accusing him of, or how to support her argument.

Q: Is there anything else you particularly want to share or talk about? 

A: I was just want to say that although I don’t watch or support any member of the dteam any more, I still am proud of the cowboy au. It’s kind of a relic of the time (especially the gnf and Maya mxmtoon stuff). The general response to the fanfiction was… wow!! Everyone who commented on that fanfiction was so exceedingly kind. People even drew fan art. I am still happy to have written something that, despite the inherent cringeness of it, positively affected so many people.

[fanaticsnail]

Hello dear, I'm sorry to hear that things have been stressful for you irl. I know you're not all that familiar with me, but I still hope that things get better. All the love to you ♡♡♡ Here's an ask for you: If your favorite character was real and appeared beside you, how would you feel about it? What would you do? And this isn't a part of the ask game, just a question I had in general, but how did you go about starting to talk about and sharing your OCs on your blog? I'd like to be able to do the same, but I've never really done it publicly. It's usually just been among closed-off communities and friends.

Hi there love! It's been a rough little while for me lately, and this has been an excellent distraction. Thank you for your kindness, I appreciate it so much.

Favourite Character appearing:

Aside from the usual: "AAAAAAAA, how did you get in my house, what are you, are you even real, what are you doing here, how are you alive right now?" side of things, I honestly feel like we'd vibe. Offering Brook some tea, milk and a glass of wine or two while we sort out how to put him back, maybe have a jam with music until chef-husband comes home and joins in on drums, would be the way I'd handle it.

OC Sharing

I was very shy talking about OCs initially. The first OC I'd ever created for OP was shared with only one other person - much like yourself, if I'm reading it right. Closed off communities, full of supportive people encouraging and empowering you, was the way to go for me.

On a whim, I made one just for me specifically to practice drawing with on here when I had severe writer's block. I wasn't expecting much of a response from her, similarly to the stories I began writing when I initially started this account. Tobiuo was originally meant to be platonic, but Lionel Richie's "Hello" started playing as soon as the Kid Pirates showed up with that fire-breathing commander.

Sharing OCs still makes me nervous a little bit, honestly. I haven't really, properly written for mine on here aside from silly comics and that one mini fic. I do still only talk about her to a few people, play around with others OCs in the OC discord server. The amount of things I've written and drawn specifically for OC content on there is insane to me - including 'x reader' for others OCs.

While I'm writing a bit of 'x reader' content on here for an October event, I haven't been posting a lot about her on here.

How I went about it

I made a Masterlist for her with a small amount of information, and add to it as I go along. Just a name, age, rank, station, crew, captain, peculiarities, and race. She is so fun to think about for me, and she's truly a piece of my heart I'm sharing with the community here.

I hope this helps, and I'd love to hear about your OCs!

[lynntbw]

I feel like an outsider in the lgbt community or more specifically the trans community and I know this might come off as me being hard to please but I legit I don’t feel like I belong cuz outside of being lgbt I have pretty much nothing in common with the vast majority of them I’ve seen(longish post btw)

-I’m not into a lot of the music that’s popular in these circles(hyperpop, house, metal, and most harder rock in general aren’t my thing)

-I don’t like loud concerts/clubs because the noise is just too much for me

-I refuse to participate in drugs and quite frankly we need to have a talk about how people romanticize drugs because it’s a serious issue

-Although I am on occasion willing to play some video games i wouldn’t call myself a gamer

-I don’t know or do anything involving coding or engineering

-This one I admit is a bit of a nitpick but even among the ones that do enjoy watching cartoons I’ve yet to come across any who are interested in animation the same way I am like rarely if ever do they talk about golden age stuff much it’s usually just anime, dramedies(mostly 2010s and later), baby shows, animated sitcoms, or stuff they’re nostalgic for and while I don’t dislike most of those things it does annoy me a bit how other things tend to be ignored.

Also while I can tolerate some things society has deemed cringe I do have my limits and I know this isn’t all trans women but the uwu puppygirl shit is painfully cringe and I hate how prominent it is on pretty much every platform I go looking for fellow trans fems not to mention the rather disturbing fetishes I’ve seen(especially incest like wtf is wrong with you) and I’m tired of holding my tongue or pretending to be someone I’m not just because I want to make friends and don’t want to be perceived as transphobic.

Ignoring Twitter since I was already on there and knew it wouldn’t work the first platform I tried to search for transfems on was TikTok but it didn’t take long for me to realize that it’s got the same issues most others have, more recently I’ve also tried multiple discord and reddit servers but all of them were like this(+ some were way too comfortable with right wing beliefs and/or zionism), tumblr isn’t as bad but ngl i feel like I’m talking to the void more often than not since I pretty much never get any interactions beyond brief small talk.

I’ve officially given up on looking exclusively for transfem spaces and am now hoping to find LGBT inclusive spaces that don’t feel the same as everything else cuz I hate being so lonely all the goddamn time, for the record I live in a mostly conservative small town so I don’t have anyone irl I can talk to about this and the few irl friends I did have all ghosted me.

This isn’t a sympathy begging post or anything like that I know I’m not entitled to these things and that far more important things are going on right now I just needed to get this off my chest.

[tickle-her-senseless]

Hi, I have a question where do you typically me some lees

Hiya. The first couple of people I played with approached me here on Tumblr. It’s happened once or twice since then, but I was never the one to suggest playing IRL. It’s also happened a couple of times on Fetlife, but nowadays I’m on a brilliant Discord server that’s become the main social hub for the UK tickle community. That’s been brilliant, honestly. By the time I meet anyone from there, we’ve already spent months playing games, hanging in voice calls, laughing at memes and connecting over shared interests that we’re good friends before we even get the chance to play. It’s only with the Discord crew that I’ve ever felt comfortable enough to be the one suggesting a session, and that’s because I know them well enough by then to be virtually certain that they’ll say yes.

I’d always recommend socialising and becoming friends first - and genuinely so. Some people seem to drop into lees’ inboxes with a polite greeting and air of “oh I’m not like those other lers” but the whole time they’re trying to judge how much small talk they need to play along with before they can force the conversation around to tickling. “What do you mean you won’t send feet pics?! I just talked to you about college and your cat for an hour!” I think they’re actually worse than the “hI cUtIe, ArE tHoSe FeEt TiCkLiSh?” brigade, since they possess the patience to waste an evening of someone’s life before revealing themselves to be huge disappointments.

I’m not trying to be sanctimonious or make out that I’m morally above thinking “Man, I wish I could meet a lee to play with” where the lee is just a nondescript cute ticklish woman in my mind - I’ve definitely been there in the past. It’s just that years of experience have shown me that it’s far better when you know the person pretty well first. No awkwardness or unpleasant surprises, a pre-existing banter dynamic, and the session will be infinitely better as you’ll be in sync and bouncing off each other. When I meet one of my lee friends, I look forward to tickling them to both our hearts’ content, of course, but also catching up with their news, eating together (maybe cooking together as a way to chill after the session), watching Netflix, whatever. Most of the times I see them, we don’t even play. In a couple of weeks I’m going to see a friend from the scene in the Midlands and we’re literally just going to grab lunch, play mini golf and hang out at Geek Retreat playing games, no tickling at all - I’m really looking forward to it!

Hope that’s useful anyway. Discord has been the way to go, for sure, and there are plenty of tickling servers out there. I was hoping to meet people to play with and ended up with a healthy social life for the first time ever 😊

[seadeepy]

I’m feeling lonely, I don’t have many close friends and I feel bad about it. I’ve been through many seasons of my life, where I had more or less close friends I talked to, and right now I don’t have much (especially in the city I live). I don’t know what to do - I’ve been trying to make friends but it’s such a slow process and I feel discouraged. I just want to have more community and joy in my life through connecting with others.

Did I send this anon ask to myself and then forget? But honestly, anon, I'm in a really similar situation. I just moved away from home for grad school, and so I'm simultaneously struggling with maintaining long-distance communication with my close friends and trying to make new friends in my new city. It really sucks that most things like moving jobs or moving cities force you into both those situations at once.

Making friends in adult life is so fucking hard, dude. There's all those articles about how it requires spending a certain number of hours with people, and I think it just boils down to how little free time we have under capitalism. If you only talk to someone over lunch once a week, it'll take a long time to build deep trust and affection.

Idk if you're someone who prefers IRL friendships or is more comfortable with people online, but either way, my advice is the same -- find shared activities. I can't do small talk, and it makes the first stages of forming friendships kind of excruciating, so I've had much more luck with things like fandom servers on Discord and playing D&D. You're both doing something you enjoy, and you're doing it together, and that gives you something to talk about and accelerates friendships like you wouldn't believe. Even watching a TV show together and talking about it counts tbh, but so does going to the beach or a museum or even Costco together.

If you're not sure who to invite to that kind of thing, or are looking for larger communities, I think social events like book clubs, craft nights, recreational sports, and music groups are also solid IRL activities that bring you into contact with people who share your interests.

And lastly, one of the best things I've been practicing is giving more love to people who reflect it back to me. I only have so much time and energy, so putting it into relationships where the other person's also trying is much more rewarding than pining for people whom it's hard to keep contact with, regardless of which people I'd "prefer" to be close to or even whom I care about the most. That means I text people who actually text me back, and make plans with people who also invite me to stuff occasionally. It's not a value judgment on those people or our relationships -- it's a self-care strategy, and it's been a very necessary change in how I think about friendship.

Anyway, these are things I've been trying myself, when I can muster up the time and energy. On my busier weeks, sometimes all I can do is go to lunch/dinner with someone, just to keep that thread of connection intact. Or text them links I think are relevant, or just muse about small things that have happened that day.

It still takes time, but I think some strategies definitely accelerate the process. I'm sorry you're lonely, anon, and I really feel you on how intimidating/discouraging the whole thing is.

[podddcasttt]

lots of talks about the loneliness epidemic and the death of community and not nearly enough that acknowledge that we are in a pandemic and for some, going out and going to parties isn't necessarily an option. And I don't say this to be difficult, I literally have an irl job based heavily around in person community building. But I think a lot of these discussions would be more productive if instead of saying, "get off your phone and go outside," there were more suggestions to use your phone more productively for community building (ie. instead of joining lots of big discord servers, find a couple small-medium sized servers you can keep up with and be more active in regularly) or instead of just telling people to go to local events and throw parties with your friends, there were suggestions for building connections at a smaller level (share tools with your neighbors, make small talk and remember details to ask about later, etc)

[seanfalco]

A little Positivity ✨

@elliethesuperfruitlover challenged us to spread some positivity this week and I think that’s a great idea. 💚

As I’m sure several of you have noticed, it’s been a little quiet lately in this little corner of tumblr and honestly I had a bit of a rough night over it last night, but I thought about it and when I started writing for Rob’s characters over a year ago, it was quiet then too and I didn’t really expect anyone to read my fics.

And I am so so grateful to those of you who have and who have taken the time to tell me how much you enjoy my silly little stories. And while some familiar names have gone quiet, due to irl stuff or found interest in other fandoms, I appreciate you.

Sometimes I lose sight of what’s important and need to remind myself (and that’s okay!). At the end of the day I know I would and still will be writing even if just for myself, because it brings me joy and that’s what’s important. I love the stories I want to tell and I love the little community that has been built up here. It may be small, but it’s good. Yep, still good.

I have made so many wonderful friends that I talk to on the daily/weekly because of our shared interest and you guys make my life even outside of fandom so much better. I want to take a moment to mention some people (and fellow writers) specifically that I would never have met otherwise and who I am incredibly thankful for:

@santacarlahorrorshow — the first person I met when starting to think about writing for Klaus. Mel has been an encouragement and inspiration for me from the beginning and quickly became a fast friend even outside of fandom through our shared love of horror films (and salt lol), and I honestly don’t know what my life would be like without her in it.

@super-unpredictable98 — my other constant companion and writing partner. We bonded through our ocs and I love this incredibly self indulgent and expansive au that we’ve created with all my heart. I admire Flor’s passion for these characters, even the most minor of Rob’s roles. I also don’t think I could survive a day without talking to her.

@magic-multicolored-miracle — whom I dragged here with me from the Witcher lol. Shye is always there to offer support or offer a listening ear to everyone and I’ve been so excited to see her expand the characters she writes for and her passion for those minor characters that don’t get as much love as they deserve.

@salvador-daley — a recent friend and confidante who always gives great advice (even if she doesn’t think so), especially when I don’t always want to hear it lol. Salv’s been nothing but supportive and understanding and is honestly the big sister I never had. Not only that, but she’s an exceptional writer as well, whose prose and imagery always blows me away.

@elliethesuperfruitlover — a constant source of positivity and support, and probably the glue that holds us all together. I can’t wait to see them grow and continue improving their writing no matter what interest holds their attention at the moment.

@bisexualnathanyoung — one of the first friends I made in the fandom and whose discord server has been a refuge and a joy to be a part of. Ry was probably the first person I really started talking to about my ocs and I love listening to them ramble about their’s and all their thoughts and headcanons. They’ve been there for me during some shitty times and I appreciate the heck outta them.

Some other people that I look up to, who have been there for me, and who I’m so thankful to know and be able to call my friends: @curtis-donovan, @falcor-thee-luck-dragon, @immortalled, @maerenee930, @catsnathan, @spanishmossmagnolia, @badsext, @the-freckled-luba, @forenschik, @070188, @haschen-writes, @seancekitsch, @ghouls-buddy, @emelieislasheehan, @handgrenadehopeful — I love you guys all so much! 💖

[circumstellars]

This is a few days late, I’m sorry, but I would be remiss not to mention the anniversary, and thank everyone for their ongoing friendship, community and support. 

When I started EH, it was on a whim; the tumblr group chats were not working, even though so many of us were already making attachments and wanting to chat about our show and fandom. Discord was a great platform, and new to me, but I found the few TUA themed discord servers I came across initially nothing like what I wanted to be apart of at the time - simple, friendly, inclusive and most importantly, for adults. There is nothing like finding acquaintances and friends that you can talk to and share with and be at ease that you’re among peers. If you don’t see a place for you, you carve out your own.

I really had no long-term plan or dared hope we’d get to 3 months, nevermind one year. Clearly, I was not alone in craving a refuge for this silly ol’ hobby. I’m so glad!

A year is a long time, and a lot has happened! It’s not always been easy, so many ups and downs, and tons of guesswork as we grew. Some hard times, but plenty of great ones too. Fandom events, game nights, movie watchalongs and late nights in ns/fw - all while under lockdown irl! It’s given us a lot to enjoy.

I want to thank everyone who has been, or is currently a member of Elliott’s House personally. No matter if we have spoken directly or not, you’re a community member who contributes to our culture and fandom just by consuming content, joining social events, and being a friend to others in the Umbrella Academy fandom.

I’ve met some incredible people in the last year that certainly taught me things, and made a positive impact on my life personally, and that means a lot to me. In the middle of complete isolation during this pandemic, struggling even harder with mental health for it, the friends at EH became a virtual home. I’ve loved getting to know so many of you, and I really hope I can know more of you as time goes on if I should be so fortunate.

I could not maintain a server of the surprising size EH became without bringing on mods for support. The team started small and grew alongside the server, and I’ve gotten to work closely with people I didn’t initially know much about - but have since become wonderful friends and allies. The admin support team has changed over the year as life called good friends away, but for any moment someone has been apart of the team, they’ve made a positive impact on EH as a whole.

I want to thank, most genuinely and profoundly, the current admin support team;

@melivian @spikeymarshmallows @booksasfurniture @electric016 @softforklave @forestdivinity @flecket

Mina, in particular, you’ve been my most trusted fandom friend since EH’s beginning - you’re amazing, and I’m honoured to be your friend. Thank you, and to all the current mods who care deeply about the community and volunteer their time and effort into EH and making it fun and safe for all our friends. Nothing happens without you guys. Truly the backbone of social fandom. Happy Birthday Elliott’s House, and with a little love and patience, I’m sure we’ll have our server to come home to once S3 explodes over the horizon.  Here is to fandom, inclusivity, fighting hate with love and good times together.

Cheers, server!  - Stellar  ☆

[fander-pride-meetup]

Howdy hey guys, gals, and non-binary pals, and welcome to the Fander Pride Meetup 2021!

What is the Fander Pride Meetup?

If you haven’t heard of/need a refresher on what the Pride Meetup is, in short, it’s a month-long virtual event in which LGBTQIAP+ Fanders share their LGTQIAP+ experiences through art and other forms of media based on a prompt! You post your work here on Tumblr using the hashtags #fanderpridemeetup and #fanderpridemeetup2021 and tag us in your work. The mods then reblog your work, and we all get to know each other!

This event lasts the entirety of Pride Month and is meant to be a celebration of your identity! An added bonus is that hopefully, you’ll come out of this event having made some new friends with an improved sense of unity with those in the community.

Rules:

Post content relating to each week’s prompts and your identity/experiences on Tumblr through any form of art or media.

The meetup is intended for Fanders in the LGBTQIAP+ community. We respect our cishet allies, but this meetup is for those in the LGBTQIAP+ community to feel seen and connect with each other during Pride Month. Feel free to like and reblog participants work though! Signal boosts help!

Don’t hate on other people and the way they identify. This is a celebration of all identities.

How to Participate:

To participate, make any form of art or media that relates to the prompt, your identity, and/or your experiences.

Tag the blog (@fander-pride-meetup) and use the tags #fanderpridemeetup and/or #fanderpridemeetup2021

Tag your characters (Sympathetic/Unsympathetic) and any other triggers at the beginning of the work and in the tags.

Post it on Tumblr and you are all set! We’ll reblog it to this page for all to see!

What Can You Submit:

All forms of art and media are accepted! From writing to art (traditional and digitl), to edits to cosplay, any and all ways you can think of is welcome at the Meetup! If you can express yourself through it, you can do it! 

Some examples of media we accept:

Writing

Art (Traditional/Digital)

Edits

Cosplay

Selfies

Journals

Headcanon bullet lists

Aesthetics/Moodboards

Photography

(However if you still have any questions, feel free to send an ask!)

This Year’s Prompts Are:

Week 1 (June 1-7): Closet

The closet, the place we all begin in, be it for a few weeks or many years. Some don’t have the opportunity to come out of the closet. Even now, many of our friends may be closeted. But even if you’re closeted, we wish you a happy pride month as well.

This week’s prompt is Closet. Use any form of media you’d like through the TS Characters of your choice to share your experiences in the closet.

Week 2 (June 8-14): Celebration

The Fander Pride Meetup always has been and always will be a celebration of the LGBTQ+ community in the Thomas Sanders fandom. Now, let’s celebrate together in what big or small ways we can! From large parties and outings to jamming out in your room to music, celebrations of your identity come in many different way. There is no right or wrong way to show who you are.

This week’s prompt is Celebration. Show a way that you celebrate your identity through any form of media you’d like through the TS Characters of your choice.

Week 3 (June 15-21): Journey

This journey never really ends. It lasts our entire lives, and we experiences ups and downs. People come and go from out lives, and we continuously learn new things about ourselves. We grow, adapt, and change from these experiences and hardships, and we keep pushing through.

This week’s prompt is Journey. Share a part of your LGBTQ+ journey through any form of media you’d like through the TS Characters of your choice.

Week 4 (June 22 -28): Hope

No matter how difficult the situation, how long the journey, the people you meet, there is always hope for a better future. As the world makes advances in LGBTQ+ rights, this week is about spreading hope for the people who are struggling with their identity, who can’t be open and out all the time, and who have to come to terms with who they are. 

This week’s prompt is Hope, and can be shown through any form of media you’d like through the TS Characters of your choice.

The last two days (June 29-30) are WildCard Days! Post whatever you’d like relating to your identity and the TS Fandom!

FAQ:

Q: Do you set up meetups IRL?

A:  This event is held completely online! We do not schedule a place and time to meet each other irl. If you do want to talk with other LGBTQIAP+ Fanders outside of Tumblr, check out this year’s Discord server! [Copy/Paste link: https://discord.gg/Jj7drExCb5]

Participation

Q: I’m cisgender, allo, and heterosexual. Can I participate in this event?

A: The meetup is intended for Fanders in the LGBTQIAP+ community. We respect our cisallohet allies, but this meetup is for those in the LGBTQIAP+ community to feel seen and connect with each other during Pride Month. Feel free to like and reblog participants work though! Signal boosts help!

Q: I’m questioning. Can I participate in this event?

A: Of course! You’re welcome to participate in the event if you’re questioning!

Q: I want to participate, but I don’t think I can do X prompt for X week!

A: Participation in each week is not required! This is supposed to be a fun event so if you are unable to post something for one of the weeks, don’t stress it!

Submissions

Q: I have a late submission! Can I still submit it?

A: Of course! We reblog late submissions on the first day of the next week. (Example: A late submission for Week One posted on June 8th, the first day of Week Two, will be reblogged.)

However, if you are submitting anything later than that, message one of the mods, Lissa ( @amazinglissawho ​) or Anon ( @books-sketches-and-ink​) and we’ll get your post up!

Q: I don’t have a Tumblr account/would like to stay anonymous while participating.

A: That’s completely fine! Just submit your post to our submission box, and we’ll post it for you!

Post Content

Q: Can I really use any medium I want?

A: Yes! In whatever way you express yourself best, you can do it!

Q: Can we use fem!Sides? Can we use Fander/personal Sides?

A: Yep! If it helps with expressing your identity or if you think it’ll just be fun, you can use them!

Q: Do I have to project my experiences onto a character? Can I project identities rather than experiences onto the characters instead?

A: Of course! You can use your identity and make the character have different experiences!

Q: Can I write about a negative experience that has happened to me?

A: Sure thing! If you feel like you would like to write what feels real to you, then go ahead.

Additional Notes

Part of the meetup is to, well, meetup! Talk to each other and learn about the various identities of people in this fandom!

Since this is a Fander Pride Meetup, try to keep your content related to TS content or yourself. Other fandoms are okay to be mentioned, but please keep it minimal.

Please signal boost! If you have any friends or know any blogs who might be interested let them know! This is for anyone under the LGBTQIA+/SAGA umbrella!

Remember that though “Meetup” is in the name, this event is held online! We do not schedule a place and time to meet each other irl. If you do want to talk with other LGBTQIAP+ Fanders, check out this year’s Discord server!

If you have any more questions, send in an ask, and happy pride!

[salamanderinspace]

thoughts about privacy

I've been feeling self conscious on social media because there's a bunch of posts going around - I mean, I've seen them each 10 times at least, from mutuals usually, so people who I know are smart and trustworthy people - that are like, "you need to have your feelings in private. You need to have a friend group to talk about private stuff with."

I have many friend groups, with varying levels of emotional intimacy. I am in many group chats and discord servers and reddits and some more IRL communities as well. And I know what to expect from my friends, and what is reasonable to expect. I am sometimes the one who asks the questions. Who responds to answers with support and jokes and context, or just a cute emoji or meme if I'm tired. If I share my own feelings and stories, the reactions are not usually helpful to me. Sometimes there are no reactions. Sometimes people get emotional. Sometimes people are cool and dismissive. Occasionally they are kind. Obviously it varies a lot person to person and in different communities. I know I can trust different people to handle different things. …But it still feels a little like rolling the dice, every time.

I like having a blog to keep it all in one place and to talk to myself and to store my memories. For like two years I've actually had this blog set to unsearchable / undiscoverable, but I made sure to flip that switch recently because I want to do some fandom stuff here. But like. I like talking to me, and I like when a mutual clicks the like button because there is no imperative for me to provide any care-work for that kind of interaction. I say my thoughts. Someone reads them. No aftercare. Usually. Unless there are anons or something, but that's generally only when a post escapes containment.

I'm not capable of being dramatically different in public versus in private. I don't know if I was born that way or if it had something to do with how I grew up without any privacy at all. I can keep secrets, and I have, though sometimes they confuse me, or make me feel really alienated, like I'm in a different world than everyone else. When I was growing up, when I was heavily surveilled, I learned data-flooding as a tactic to divert that attention; my parents would examine my browser history and read my keystrokes, so I would visit 10 "safe" websites for every unsafe one. Be more instead of less. This is actually helpful when confronting a lot of corporate data mining stuff - I remember a few years back, before google or anything, there were anarchist circles for trading sock puppet shoppers' club cards at grocery stores so they couldn't track purchases.

That's all to say I feel pretty safe with this dumb blog because there's so much stuff in it that anyone looking for one kind of thing in particular is going to have to hunt pretty hard for it.

I also don't feel like I'm responsible for someone elses' violence towards me. Like, someone reading personal shit in my blog and then trying to bully me with it is very much their problem, not mine. It reminds me of that spate of posts awhile back that were super condescendingly worded like, "oh sUMMER chiLDREN, you MUST NOT put PERSONAL information in your HEADER because it is not INTERNAT SAFETY." Safety is always used as an excuse for policing. If you want to put your age and pronouns and identities and triggers in your blog header, you're going to connect to as many like minded people as there are shitty ones - that's my experience. It's not necessary to be cagey and distrustful. It's not your fault if you're not.

I am not a brand. I do not have be quiet and small.

It reminds me of that quote from Sense8, "art is love made public."

Obviously privacy is a right and we're going to have to fight for it a lot in the coming times. I just feel like expressing love in public is a right too, that is also being infringed upon a lot.

But anyway. The original point. The original post. I think "process your thoughts in private, emotionally intimate communities and safe spaces" is great advice. It's also like advising someone to have a diverse investment portfolio, or to get into the real estate market. Not everyone has the resources for it. Like saying "you guys, you NEED to have a 401k!"

I'm a lot luckier than most people but there are needs that are not and perhaps cannot be met. Even trained professionals can't keep up with me. Not even close. The first therapist I ever saw told me my problem was that I should go to Weight Watchers. The second hit on me. The third seemed smart but she had her practice in her house with her 14 cats, and I have allergies. The fourth had red flags bigger and brighter than 14 cats. The fifth was a chinese grad student who didn't say a word to me in the session, just took notes. I could go on and on but I don't want to sound judgmental, I'm not. Humans are humans. Humans do not have what I require. Only the void has that.

I suppose this is all to say that I know I write the kind of fics and posts and metas that make people x out of their browsers in disgust and then pace and then go to work and then come home and then reload my shit in an incognito browser and then ruminate and then complain to their friends in discord servers and I don't know how to protect you from those feelings, so I'm going to post about dicks now.

[stinkrascal]

even for ur damn self as an adult, being friends with minors isn't worth it?? u have no idea if u are causing them damage simply by existing bc they have u on a pedestal or look up to u in ways that u can't live up to AND u could very easily just say the wrong thing and basically destroy them, like small disagreements or criticisms can be devastating if ur someone they look up to AND being treated as some kind of mother/sister is exhausting and taxing. there are literally no benefits.

i think what people need to understand is that, no matter how pure your intentions are to befriend a minor as an adult, there’s INHERENTLY a power imbalance between you two. no, i’m not saying to cease all communications with every minor ever - obviously, i’m still gonna talk to my cousin who’s 12, despite the fact that i am 21. and of course, i’m still gonna answer the asks someone sends me, even if that person is a minor and, as i said, i’m an adult. there’s nothing wrong with interacting with children. but why the hell would you, as a grown ass adult, ever want to befriend someone who’s a minor and risk breeching that boundary that’s in place? and why would you want to freely create a space where adults befriending minors is a normalized thing? y’all would find it weird as FUCK if an adult in their 20′s tried befriending a 16 year old irl, but nobody bats an eye when it’s online, even though the sad thing is, i’d argue it’s much easier for children to fall victim to grooming online because of how accessible it is, and because of how normalized adult/minor friendships online have become. and hey, even if you personally don’t have those intentions, that doesn’t mean that others don’t. for instance, i’ve seen discord servers with 200+ members in them, adults and minors alike. 200 strangers on the internet. you don’t think one of those adults has bad intentions? you don’t think some sick fuck on the internet isn’t gonna see that as an opportunity? even if you don’t have the intention of grooming a child, even if your intentions are pure, how the fuck can you know if everyone else’s are? why would you even wanna risk it? like, when i made my discord servers way back when (which were all 18+ btw), i sure as hell didn’t know every person that joined. i probably only hit about 60 members, but even that was a lot for me to keep up with. i couldn’t monitor everything that happened in there, and i surely couldn’t monitor the way in which people were behaving outside of my server. imagine having a server with almost twice that number, filled with adults and minors alike - how do you monitor a space like that? how do you ensure that those children are safe to talk to adult strangers in this space you’ve created? because, to me, the easiest answer is this: you don’t allow children in those spaces. you allow children the opportunity to make their own spaces.

so, at the end of the day, i really don’t care how pure your intentions are. i don’t care if you’re One Of The Good Ones. if you’re exposing children to spaces where there is the potential for harm, and if you’re normalizing children befriending someone five, six, seven years their elder, you’re suspicious as fuck, and i don’t trust you.

[petalsbloomed-a]

itaru talks about noah - part 1.

1. what’s the strangest/weirdest thing mun has watched on youtube? you know those raunchy parodies of rap songs and the versions where people are quite literally screaming the lyrics of songs? yeah, he watches that stuff a lot.

2. what’s the strangest/weirdest movie the mun has watched? i don’t know if he’s watched any movies that have been known for being strange, but a lot of the horror stuff he finds can get pretty creepy at times.

3. what’s your mun do when they become sad? do they hide it or talk about it? it really depends. most of the time, i think he hides it at first and then opens up when things start to go really wrong. it’s probably because he doesn’t want to feel like a burden.

4. how long does the mun stay upset for? again, it really depends on the issue. he does struggle with really bad mental health, so it’s possible for something to weigh him down for quite a while. i think a lot of it has to do with his willingness to communicate with others.

5. what’s your opinion of the mun’s fashion sense? basic bitch. well, more basic than me, but at times he does like to mix it up a lot and put jewelry together with a top that just...don’t naturally fit. i mean, have you seen the earrings he wears to class?

6. is the mun prone to mood swings? oh, very much so. one moment he’ll be so down to write, being all bubbly and completely running his mouth about the things he likes, the next he’ll get frustrated and upset and go to watch some funny shit on youtube or listen to music to hopefully help to stabilize his mood.

7. what was the strangest thing the mun has done that made the muse confused? doing kpop dances in the middle of his school’s hallway. that’s all i’m going to say.

8. does the mun like to shitpost/make funny posts a lot? he doesn’t shitpost a ton over here, but on his anime blog, i swear, sometimes the shit that he thinks of and comes out of his mouth is so strange that it’s just funny.

9. has the mun ever scared the muse? not in any particular way that comes to my mind immediately.

10. what about the mun does the muse find annoying or bothersome? sometimes he just can’t stop talking. i can never tell if it’s because of his ADHD or if he’s just excited about something, but sometimes he just completely interrupts my peace and quiet seemingly out of nowhere.

11. do you like the backstory your mun gave you? he didn’t really give me a backstory; he adheres to what my creators did for me. but he did give my sister a pretty nice name.

12. is mun a social butterfly or a loner? he’s a pretty social person, but he does have his moments. he likes to keep his distance, even though sometimes it’s hard for him to tell when he should be less energetic or give someone their space.

13. did you once not like your mun? if so, why? i don’t think i’ve ever actively disliked noah. he can be a bit obnoxious at times, but he’s a pretty cool dude.

14. do you wish your mun was more open to those around them? in real life and on tumblr? he’s pretty open with people in real life, but who am i to criticize him or even give him advice on the matter? i struggle with being open about who i am myself, so i don’t think it’s appropriate for me to judge him.

15. does your mun draw or write? if so, what work are they most proud of? he writes a lot and he does have some experience with art, but most of his focus goes into the things he writes. it’s hard to say what he’s most proud of, because he always describes his works as ‘short, sweet, and mindless,’ but i do enjoy whatever angsty stuff he writes. he says he’s not good with angst, but sometimes when i read his angst fics i can really get the sense of some things he may be struggling with in his unconscious. some of the things he writes just roll off the tongue, and in such a beautiful manner.

16. how long does it take your mun to draw/write a piece of work? it really depends on what he’s doing. an art piece, even a small sketch, can take him up to an hour, but his fics can usually take him between thirty minutes to two hours. his short and soft fics he usually spends about half an hour on, but his longer ones, like his angst and relationship fics, he can spend up to two hours on.

17. what other social websites does your mun use? other than tumblr, he’s probably most active on his anime twitter account as well as some discord servers he’s on, but he also has a facebook, instagram, ao3, and sparingly uses deviantart, reddit, pinterest, soundcloud, twitch, quotev, and wattpad.

18. who are the first 3 people the mun thinks about when asked for blog recommendations? obviously, the mun is a bit biased, so he’s gonna first off recommend his best friend’s blog orang3lover. they post a lot of cute memes and social stuff, and they follow each other on their main blogs. here in the tumblr rpc, he’s really been enjoying writing and interacting with demontragedy’s chikage, aka my lovely boyfriend, and gloomyheart10′s banri, who is the bane of my existence but miraculously still considered to be my best friend.

19. how many people are in your mun’s close-knit circle? he has a few friend circles actually. the one he interacts with the most would probably be his friend group from high school, but he also has a lot of friends, less of a circle, that he talks with a lot and hangs out with in college. this college friend group all consists of music majors, so he feels really at home with them. he does also have a few small friend groups online, but they’re pretty sparse and don’t have as many people as his irl friend groups.

20. how does the mun feel about their blog/blogs? i get the sense that he’s really happy with the blog he’s set up here in the tumblr rpc, but he has mentioned that with his personal blogs he wants to be a bit more creative about the content that he releases. his main blog is like 99% reblogs, so he wants to think about how he can release more original content that will attract more people to his corner of the internet.

21. what ask meme does your muse like the most? i don’t think he has a specific one, but he does like to reblog a lot of fluff-based sentence starters.

[autumnslance]

how do you get into roleplaying on a ff server? like how do you do it and how do you know if your character is lore compliant? ;A; pls youre a big inspo to me

*Hugs Nonny* Getting into RP on a FF server can vary; I don’t actually RP much these days, outside of some friends I already have connections to--and that in itself can be difficult just due to Life! It can take time, and patience, and some fits and starts.

And this gets...really really long, so buckle up and go below the cut, please. :)

The cut got broken by an edit. Sigh.

In game there’s always the RP status tag, and just doing RP with folks in public spaces. There may be trolls now and then, but they can be ignored. I personally find Balmung’s Quicksand area too busy and anxiety inducing and not actually all that conducive to actual RP, even “meet at a tavern” walk-up type. But unless you already have a ready-made group of friends/FCmates willing to RP more than some random walk-ups with you, it may take some legwork to find folks you can and want to write with.

Social Media There are a couple of RP community blogs, like @mooglemeet​ and @ffxiv-crystal-rp​  and plenty of server-specific ones. There’s also some Discords for these communities. They host and advertise events and reblog people who are looking for RP contacts. Some of them have running gdoc calendars and in game linkshells and fellowships as well.

Shofie has a good post about Tumblr/social media RP blogging.

@shofie-ffxiv

It’s a fact now that social media outside game is a way to make contacts, or even a medium for RP itself. There are few centralized websites/forums for server RP communities anymore. Making connections over your social media, like Tumblr and Twitter, can help find RP. You can’t just throw your own character info out there or reblog prompts hoping others bite, though; you have to put in some work and show interest in others, too. This can be difficult and even scary. That’s OK.

RP is about collaboration and creating with other people, which means finding folks you can write with, and who see you as someone interesting but also interested in them and their OCs. If you want to keep it a solo endeavor focused on your own OCs, write fanfic (which I’ve actually made friends and gotten RP interests that way too through comment interactions, so hey).

If you reblog a prompt from someone, see others on your dash reblogging prompts, if people reblog that prompt post from you? Send them asks! Alternatively, don’t wait for prompts, just send asks, comments, or chats saying hello and things you notice or like about their blog/character/posts they make. Try to form connections with people you think are genuinely interesting and might be fun to talk with. Social media should be, well, social.

BUT respect boundaries, too. Don’t try sarcasm or jokes with people you don’t actually know, it tends to go over poorly. Unless someone’s specifically posting a naughty meme/prompt, keep stuff you others send clean and polite, especially if it’s unsolicited and you’re not already friends (doubly so if you don’t know how old they are IRL, there are laws you do not want to break). Respect if people aren’t open to random asks or chatting with new followers, or say “no” to RP, and know it’s not personal--it’s just what they have time, energy, and emotional/mental capacity for. Don’t give up on other people, though. This stuff can take time and effort to find those you click with.

Respect and communication with RP partners is pretty key.

Do curate your feeds and don’t be afraid to unfollow/mute/block folks, either. I’m selective in who I follow and remove as needed, too, for my own mental health. I miss so much of the discourse and drama and that’s fine by me. Also it costs nothing to not step in on a lot of the drama when it does pass in sight.

Profiles I have static RP profile pages for my girls here on Tumblr (and a lot of other static links and pages, but I’m weird about organizing like that). This way, if people want to write with me, send me prompts, if I sent them prompts, or they want to otherwise interact with my characters, the information is handily available. For some folks, this makes all the difference in who they choose to interact with: how easily can they find even basic info about your OC?

Some people make Carrds. Some folks have gdoc links, or use Dreamwidth, etc. Just keep the links in the blog’s sidebar menu, and/or in the blog desc so people can see ‘em on mobile. There are templates out there, or you can make your own. Feel free to snag mine if you’d like. A lot of times people also copy their profiles to rebloggable posts when looking for RP contacts. Profiles are a good way to let folks know just the at-a-glance basics about your character(s).

I picked a simple theme with a simple layout that makes it easy to add and show off links. I put them in the blog desc to make them easy to find on mobile, too.

[Images: links from my blog sidebar menu showing how over organized I am]

RP, Stories, Lore Post some stories or RP logs (with permission of others involved) or even just random little blurbs and headcanons, as well as any screenshots, art, aesthetic posts for your OCs. Have something of interest to show for your character, too, so some of those folks your interacting with have something of their own to see and ask about!

If possible, try some light RP with friends and FC Mates who are amenable. Go to events, even if just to lurk at first. When you do get up the nerve to talk to people, don’t try to throw a character’s entire backstory at them, or try to steal the limelight--RP is collaboration, back and forth, and a lot like real conversation. Maybe come up with little light things to talk about if asked; a recent adventuring job, a silly shopping incident, etc. They can break the ice or just give you something to reply with for a few minutes.

Lore Compliance is Variable. Some people really want lore compliance, others are OK bending it here and there, while still others throw it out the window entirely. If you want to be super lore compliant...read. There’s a LOT of information, in game and out, for finding lore; from official publications and website material, to tools like Garland Tools site, to compilation blogs like @mirkemenagerie.

Note what’s important for your concept. Narrow it down. Characters aren’t going to know or be or do everything, so only worry about what’s necessary for the base idea. And be flexible; it’s SE’s sandbox, we just play in it, and they can change things any time. They usually do it in the guise of characters not knowing/having all the correct information, at least, but also some places just don’t exist in game yet so we don’t have info.

I’m unspecific about a lot of elements of Aeryn’s childhood, for instance, other than “traveling merchants near Thavnair.” I don’t have to be super specific. I can keep most details vague, and focus on her family and those relationships.

Dark, as my first character, has a fairly simple backstory that I’ve expanded on and adjusted over time as I learned and came up with new info. I also bet no one remembers I originally said Dark was from the North Shroud. I’ve changed things (now from East Shroud, due to the proximity to Gyr Abania and its Hellsguards) as I learned more about the world and my character. You don’t want to change things willy-nilly, but sometimes being flexible and smoothing down some rough edges and making small changes can be fine, especially as one gets more lore over time.

Iyna has a pretty detailed backstory, that came from a basic idea, and checking dates in the pre-Calamity timeline. I based her being taken and trained the way she was not only on what info we have about Garlemald’s imperial practices with conquered provinces, but borrowed a bit from real life and the re-education schools many Native Americans were forced into (though I haven’t gone into detail on that yet, either). I tied the turning point in Iyna’s life to a major event that wasn’t the Calamity, and have left plenty of space in between for me to fill in as time goes on and I learn more about her and the world.

The world isn’t static, and is bigger and more diverse than what can be shown in the game. There’s space in the margins for plenty of weird stuff and contradictions or unusual cases. So read up on what you can, ask questions, and then find where in those spaces your OC fits. Then, find people who enjoy similar tastes in lore compliance (or non-compliance), and who enjoy playing with you and your OCs, and not worrying about the rest. Can’t please everyone, nor get along with everyone, so don’t try; just find what works for you, and who works with you, and don’t police anyone else’s pretendy fun times, either.

There’s no magic answer on the “right” amount of lore compliance, or how to quickly and easily find RP partners or break into the broader RP community.

I hope this helps at least a little bit! Good luck in finding your niche for RP, and maybe I’ll see you sometime at an event :)