#I just have not been in the tumblr mood tbh
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lerildeal · 2 years ago
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Here’s some sketchbook pages from the last few months I really like!
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averlym · 1 year ago
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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joculatrixster · 3 months ago
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well i for one hope you get people who commission you your art is based and awesome
🥺ty, god im jjsut in a weird mood today im sorry mutuals but tysm for sayign this its rlly sweet 😭
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eggmeralda · 5 months ago
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I need a massive sudden hyperfixation shock to happen again
#that era when i'd just got out of the onceler divorce of summer 2021. and then listened to everywhere at the end of time in october#and it was ruining my life and i couldn't sleep and there was nothing really good happening#like it wasn't Bad bc at least i wasn't depressed anymore like i was in the summer but it was still just dead. and i couldn't get#the last 6 minutes of eateot out of my head#and then. suddenly. got shot with the *blurry screenshot of stan and kyle as adults* beam#south park post covid trailer released. everyone who had ever been in that fandom was awakening from their graves#it was like 'future episode??' 'why have they got noses' 'what the fuckkkk' 'is anything real anymore?' etc#it was such big news that it instantly shocked me out of my existential crisis and reawakened that hyperfixation for the 9347384th time#and i vividly remember going on tumblr the morning after it aired and trying to avoid spoilers bc i hadn't watched it yet#but i accidentally saw a sentence something along the lines of 'kenny's a billionaire philanthropist now' and. ok i had to see a picture?#so i did and he looked like the epitome of a cool uncle#and then i was walking to uni that morning probably looking like i was crying or something bc like. kenny successful future#and the whole thing just brought my general mood up so much?? so by the time it was 2022 i was absolutely fine#and then 2022 was so good. up until like august and september#and things got a bit dangerous again like my mood was alright but the slightest thing could bring it down#and then my best friend/housemate got a girlfriend and it was that whole drama and her existence basically ruined my last year of uni#and since then i've become so bitter and cynical and all victimy and it's so annoying and i don't even realise i'm doing it#so now i only ever notice negative things happening and have done since like the end of 2022#and i just need one of my old hyperfixations to do something insane again. like sp post covid.#i need. idk victor hugo to come back to life and publish notre dame de paris 2. or something#or for pip to come back to south park. that would actually fix me forever tbh#or the golden ratio to announce they're touring the uk for free. okay no ykw that would fix me#orrrrrrrrr idk. secret history made into a film but it's actually good#anyway. the south park kids as adults with noses set off an entire like 8 months of Pure Optimism in 2022 and i need her back more than ever#ramble
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autisticsupervillain · 9 months ago
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Someone needs to do a thing about Phoenix Wright becoming a Tumblr celebrity/meme in universe, getting treated in a similar way to how we treat Hbomberguy irl. You cannot tell me that Tumblr wouldn't see a lawyer solve a fifteen year old cold case by cross examining a parrot and not immediately declare him our king.
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Werewolf--Sex:
On trial rn and my defense attorney seems to be lowkey flirting with the prosecutor and it's really killing the mood ngl.
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Steelsamuraiass:
OP, your attorney is Phoenix Wright. He's been married to that Prosecutor for fifteen years. I even credits him for inspiring him to take up law in the first place.
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Werewolf--Sex:
Aw, that's actually really sweet.
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Engarde-Simp:
Didn't that guy once solve a fifteen year old cold case by cross examining a parrot?
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Werewolf--Sex:
What?
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Wrightworthkismesis:
Newbies discovering the pure insanity that is Phoenix Wright's career will never not be funny. Your trial is gonna be legendary.
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Engarde-Simp:
Did you really not do any research on your attorney before hiring him?
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Werewolf--Sex:
Doing research rn. This guy's career is insane. Listed in no particular order, my attorney, Phoenix Wright has apparently:
Needed to have evidence law explained to him mid-trial
Proven the existence of ghosts to win his trials(?????????)
Defended an orca in court.
Only lost three times in his entire career (absolutely fucking insane if you know how Japanifornia's legal system is. Tbh, defendants are screwed in our current system.)
Successfully proven that the prosecutor committed the crime his client was accused of by checking him with a metal detector.
Claims to have a magic necklace that can let him see lies??????
Was once nearly taken out by the mafia.
Once got impersonated by a dude with a cardboard badge.
Repeatedly been assaulted by witnesses and even prosecutors? Like, one of them straight up tazed him and he was once apparently whipped unconscious in court???
Survived getting hit by a speeding car and being sent flying, falling through a burning bridge, and all the times he got assaulted.
Also, that description of his relationship with the Prosecution really doesn't do any justice. Apparently, Phoenix only started practicing law so he could meet this man in court again.
Who gave this indestructible homosexual a law degree? He clearly has too much power.
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Sold-To-Gavinners:
Actually! Phoenix Wright is a fraud who got disbarred for forging evidence! I'd really appreciate it if we stopped ignoring all the bad things he did just because he's gay.
#anti-pw #freekristoph #antijurorsystem #anti-matt engarde
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Engarde-Simp:
Of all the Gavins, why'd you decide to simp for the one whose a creepy lawyer serial killer? The other one's the one with the band ya know.
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Sold-To-Gavinners:
Your name is literally Engarde-Simp.
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Wrightworthkismesis:
Wasn't Phoenix blackmailed into that trial and that's why he lost.
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Steelsamuraiass:
Yeah, apparently Matt hired an assassin to kidnap his girlfriend or something.
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Wrightworthkismesis:
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Steelsamuraiass:
Googled it. Apparently it was his co-council. They're just friends from what I can tell.
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Wrightworthkismesis:
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Warewolf--Sex:
Got declared not guilty btw. Apparently the real killer was the Judge.
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OfficialPWPost:
Official Phoenix Wright post.
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puppym3 · 4 months ago
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I’m kinda new to tumblr tbh but I need someone to write this so here goes lol
I love your writing and I was wondering if you could write a smut story where Chan is feeling kind of insecure about himself and the reader ends up jerking him off while like cooing to him how pretty he is
basically a fic where the reader praises the fuck out of Chan cause he deserves it 🥰
.·:*¨ insecure!bangchan x reader ¨*:·.
wc: 1.3k (the shortest i've written)
warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, kinda subby chan?, established relationship, insecurities, comfort, praise, body worship, sweet, fluffy, slight oral (m. rec), handjob, (lmk if i missed any)
a/n: omg. i just finished writing and i was about to go to bed and then i read this and immediately needed to write it. tysm @hyunjinx42 for this suggestion <3 i hope it lived up to what u wanted
i love getting suggestions so if anyone has anything they'd like me to write, pls lmk!!! i also have a taglist if anyone is interested!
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
You and your boyfriend were nestled comfortably on the plush, oversized couch, the soft glow of the table lamp casting a warm, inviting hue across the cozy living room. The air was filled with a serene ambiance, created by the gentle hum of the TV, which played a movie neither of you were particularly invested in. The flickering light from the screen danced across the room.
Your head rested gently on Chan’s broad shoulder, the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest providing a comforting background to your quiet evening together. His arm, strong and reassuring, enveloped you in a protective embrace, pulling you close to him. The plush blanket draped over both of you felt like a cocoon, wrapping you in warmth.
Chan’s fingers traced idle patterns on your arm, his touch light and soothing. Yet, there was something different about his demeanor tonight. His usual warmth was overshadowed by a distant look in his eyes, as though his thoughts were caught in a whirlwind of uncertainties and insecurities that clouded his mind.
Sensing the shift in his mood, you shifted slightly, your instincts telling you that something was amiss. “Hey, Chan,” you said softly, your voice tender and concerned. “You okay?”
He sighed deeply, a sound laden with unspoken worries. His gaze flickered briefly to the TV screen, but it was clear his thoughts were elsewhere. The movie played on, a mere backdrop to the inner turmoil that occupied his mind. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, but his voice lacked its usual warmth, replaced by an undertone of hesitation.
With a gentle movement, you propped yourself up on one elbow, your eyes locked on his troubled expression. Your heart ached at the sight of him so distant, and you knew he was carrying a burden he wasn’t ready to share. “You don’t seem fine,” you said, your voice carrying a quiet intensity. “You’ve been distant for a while now. Talk to me, what’s on your mind?”
He hesitated, a fleeting moment of vulnerability crossing his features. He nervously bit his lower lip, a gesture that spoke volumes about the feelings he was experiencing. “It’s just… stupid thoughts,” he finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your frown deepened, your concern growing. “Chan, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? No matter how silly it seems, I want to know what’s bothering you.”
He took a deep breath, his eyes meeting yours with a mix of apprehension and sadness. “It’s just… sometimes I can’t help but think you could be with someone more attractive. Someone who’s… I don’t know, more everything than me.”
The words struck you like a cold wave, leaving you momentarily speechless. It had never occurred to you that he, the sexiest man alive, might harbor such insecurities about his appearance.
Before you could gather your thoughts, Chan continued, his voice trembling with a mix of vulnerability and self-doubt. “Like, I see the way other guys look at you, and they all seem to be models or something. And then there’s me. I mean, I know I can be sexy when I try, but it takes a lot of effort and makeup. Sometimes I just feel like you could do better, you know?”
The weight of his words hung heavily in the air, and you shook your head vehemently, your heart aching for him. “Chan, that’s not true,” you said firmly, your hands gently cupping his face. “You know that’s not true. You’re right about one thing—you look nothing like those other guys.”
You trailed your fingers down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt with deliberate care. As you slowly opened the shirt, revealing his well-defined muscles, you couldn’t help but admire the smoothness of his skin. Your touch was tender, each movement imbued with love and reverence.
“They could never look like you,” you murmured, your lips brushing against his neck. “They could never have this sexy body, and your sexy voice, and your adorable dimple.”
As you kissed a trail down his chest, your lips lingering on his skin, you felt the tension in his body begin to dissolve. Your hands roamed over his muscles, appreciating the hard-earned contours of his physique. You adjusted your position, gracefully moving off the couch and onto your knees in front of him.
Your hands traced the lines of his toned abs, your fingers gently caressing the faint lines and bumps that spoke of countless hours in the gym. “Too sexy,” you whispered, looking up at him with a playful yet adoring smile.
His face flushed a deep crimson, and he looked down at you, his breath hitching in his throat. The vulnerability in his eyes was palpable, but there was also a flicker of desire that ignited as he watched you.
Your hands moved lower, reaching the waistband of his jeans. With a slow, deliberate motion, you unbuttoned and unzipped them, pulling them down along with his boxers. The anticipation in the air was electric as you exposed him to your view.
His half-hard cock was freed, and you wrapped your hand around it, gently stroking it.
"Nobody can have a prettier cock than you," you murmured, admiring its size and shape. "Not even a porn star."
Your hand ran slowly up and down his length, looking up at him.
He groaned, his cock twitching in your hand.
You smiled, moving closer. You pressed a kiss to the tip of his cock, then licked the slit, tasting the bead of precum that had formed.
"Did I mention the sexy voice?" you asked, looking up at him again. "And the pretty face? And the way your dimple looks when you smile?"
You gave the head a kitten lick, your hand moving faster.
"So beautiful," you whispered.
He moaned, his cock throbbing in your hand.
You smirked, pressing a wet kiss to the head. "Too bad nobody else can have you, you're all for me," you murmured, your other hand giving attention to his abs.
His face was flushed as he watched you touch him.
You stroked him faster, kissing his cock again. "I bet none of those guys could make me cum like you can," you whispered, licking up the side of his cock. "No one makes me feel as good as you."
His cock twitched in your hand, and he bit his lip, stifling another moan.
"Nobody stands a chance against your hot body, your cute face, and your amazing cock," you whispered, pumping him faster. "You're so sexy, you're too much."
He gasped, his cock pulsing in your hand. He was close.
"You're mine," you whispered, stroking him faster.
"Yours," he groaned, his cock throbbing in your hand.
"So pretty honey, nobody else compares," you mumbled, stroking him harder.
You pumped him faster, eager to feel him cum.
"Come for me baby," you whispered, licking the tip of his cock.
His body tensed, his hips jerking as he came. His cock throbbed, shooting hot cum over your face and hand.
"Even pretty when you cum," you murmured, stroking him through his orgasm.
His body shuddered as he finished, his cock twitching a few more times before he relaxed, breathing heavily.
You released his cock, smiling up at him. You looked up at him through heavy eyelids. "So sexy, and all mine."
He smiled, reaching for your face, and pulling you up for a kiss.
You smiled, breaking the kiss. "Is that enough proof?" you asked, wiping his cum off of your face.
He nodded, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you back onto the couch.
"Thank you for that, I love you," he murmured, holding you close.
"I love you, too," you said, nuzzling against him.
The two of you lay there in each other's arms, the TV still humming in the background.
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
taglist for my beauties: @loverbangchan, @reignessance
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fvnalgirlcomplex · 1 year ago
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PRETTY ISN’T PRETTY ✸ J. HUGHES
and it begins!! this is irl but also mostly social media au because my tumblr is/was acting up and deleted most of what i had written and.. i’m lazy so!!! reader is referred to as ‘you’ and their looks are talked about but i tried to avoid describing looks… however… reader doesn’t have blonde hair but listen like every nhl fic uses a blonde girl for the fc so. i think its justified!! but sorry to anyone blonde reading lol. i didn’t rlly know how to end this tbh but i hope it’s still good and i hope u like it!! remember that you are beautiful! any negative things said obviously aren’t true :)
warnings: light mention/implication of an eating disorder, insecurities, hate comments, reader gets picked up (lowkey manhandled a little bit), suggestive comments (2), unedited writing
masterlist, series masterlist
fc: olivia rodrigo ( oliviarodrigo on ig )
summary: dating jack wasn’t gonna be easy, you knew that. you just thought him traveling a lot was gonna be the hardest, not being picked apart by his fans.
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bought a bunch of makeup,
tryna cover up my face
i started to skip lunch,
stopped eatin’ cake on birthdays
youruser
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liked by lhughes and 56,890 others
youruser 22!! shout out to cole caulfield
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colecaulfield thank you for the shout out. I really needed it.
youruser anything for a fan
user19 she’s so cocky omg
yourfriend the cake was so good! you should’ve had some :(
youruser the cake wasn’t very big and i don’t really like cake that much anyways lol glad you liked it though!!
jackhughes ❤️
liked by youruser
user373 at least she chose a blurry pic so we don’t have to see her face lmaoo
jackhughes
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liked by trevorzegras and 120,293 others
jackhughes birthday girl 🎂
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_quinnhughes haps
youruser damn. not even a full sentence 😔
user14 even his brother doesn’t like her lmao 💀
user298 i hope she knows she’s public enemy #1
user63 bro could do sm better
trevorzegras big! 22! 2️⃣2️⃣
user86 the way she looks at him though 🥹
user7 no..
user329 why are you so miserable
user738 he did her so dirty with the second picture 😭 makeup can only do so much but somehow she looks even worse than i imagined with no makeup
“I didn’t know it was such a big deal—”
“It shouldn’t have to be a big deal, Jack! I asked you not to post it, I don’t understand why you don’t listen!”
Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe you were taking your insecurities out on Jack when it really wasn’t his fault. But, it’s hard to stay calm when you’ve started to hate what you see everytime you look in the mirror, or someone takes a picture of you and that’s when you have makeup on. Words couldn’t describe how gross you feel without makeup on.
“I think you look gorgeous. I don’t know what the issue is.” Jack responded, too nonchalantly for your liking.
“The issue is that I don’t think I look gorgeous so I don’t want it out in the world for all your fans to see.” Jack sighed at your response. He knew what this was about but to him, you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. He just couldn’t grasp how someone like you could be insecure.
“Y/n…” He said softly, grabbing the sides of your face. The mood in the room had quickly changed from tense to sad as soon as the word fans was mentioned. “You’re stunning. I know you don’t believe me but, you really are. All those comments are from a bunch of teenage girls who are jealous. I know it’s hard to block out but you just have to try ‘cause I wanna show everyone how pretty my girl is, okay?” Jack finished, trying to cheer you up. It didn’t really work to be honest but still, through glass eyes, you looked up at him and nodded before he brought you into a comforting hug.
You wanted to believe him, you really did. But it wasn’t just teen fan girls. It was also grown men. Men your boyfriends age who thought you were just as hideous. They couldn’t have been doing it for the same reasons as the fan girls. They had to have just been being honest, right?
‘cause there’s always somethin’ missin’
there’s always somethin’ in the mirror
that i think looks wrong
when pretty isn’t pretty enough,
what do you do?
You loved spending time with Jack. And you also loved getting to spend time with the people he cared about. But the pressure of looking good before going knowing that pictures would be taken, with or without you knowing, made you want to puke.
You started planning out your outfits far in advance, what shoes, how you’d do you hair, your makeup. Everything. You told yourself over and over again that the outfit is cute. You asked Jack about it and he always reassured you that you would look beautiful in anything and the friends you’d ask say the same thing.
But that still wasn’t enough to stop your brain from making you think everything was wrong. No matter you were wearing, when you looked in the mirror it just looked… wrong. Like something was missing.
“Babe?” Your boyfriends voice came softly through the bedroom door. Jack had invited you to the Devils Halloween Party this year which would be your first New Jersey Devils event. Jack and Luke were wearing matching spider-man costumes with Nico and Dawson who were currently at the brothers apartment. “You ready?” He asked you as he poked his head into the bedroom before fully stepping in, closing the door behind him.
“Yeah, I was just looking for my cat ears.” Lie. You were overanalyzing yourself like you always did before you went out but you knew if you told Jack that he’d feel bad and tell you that you didn’t have to go if you weren’t comfortable.
It wasn’t clear if Jack really believed your lie but he glanced around the room for the headband anyways before finding it on the edge of the bed next to you and placing them on your head for you.
Still sitting on the edge of the bed from when you were putting on your boots before you caught a look at yourself in the mirror, you looked up at Jack, who’s hands stayed on the side of your face after gently placing the headband on you.
Words weren’t exchanged as he looked at you, his thumbs tenderly moving over cheeks. He moved down to place a lovingly soft kiss on your forehead and then your lipstick covered lips.
“You’re beautiful.” He whispered against your mouth. You almost believed him.
njdwag.updates
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njdwag.updates y/n at the halloween party with a fellow wag. she went as a black cat 🐈‍⬛
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theotherwag sweetest girl to ever exist 🩷
user273 jacks like 🥹
user33 is this a safe space?
user649 depends…
user33 i love yn. and i love yn and jack!! they’re so cute and it’s so obvious everyone that hates her is just jealous :/
user472 REAL!!! they claim to be fans of jack but hate to see him happy… like something isn’t adding up??
liked by 208 others
user634 wait jack went as spider-man and she went as a black cat?? she’s kinda funny for that
user710 jack probably didn’t want to outright match with her 💀
user845 her standing next to another wag.. this is so sad like jack!! wake up!!
and everybody’s keepin’ it up, so you think it’s you
i could change up my body and change up my face
i could try every lipstick in every shade
but i’d always feel the same
‘cause pretty isn’t pretty enough anyways
njdwags
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liked by 1,266 others
njdwags y/n y/l/n at her colleges football game with friends!
view 103 comments…
user968 everytime there’s a picture of her standing next to someone it really highlights how ugly she is LMAO
user263 idk why people hate her sm she’s so pretty
user945 she’s even prettier in person! i met her at the game and she was so nice. it’s so sad to see all the hate she gets :(
liked by njdwags
user293 we have class together!! she’s literally so sweet and smart
user683 ugly ass
user78 she chose a college football game over her boyfriends hockey game…
user537 why does she always have her tongue out 💀
and i try to ignorе it, but it's everythin' i see
it’s on the poster on the wall, it's in like every magazine
it’s in my phone, it's in my head, it's in the boys i bring to bed
it’s all around, it's all the time, i don't know why i even try
It’s like you couldn’t stop yourself from reading comments on posts about you. You knew you should ignore but it seemed impossible to ignore at this point.
You knew the comments would be negative like they always were but you always had hope they would be nice for once. And there was nice ones sometimes! But most were so overwhelmingly negative, you couldn’t even focus on the positives.
And it wasn’t just comments either, no. Not anymore at least. Since, you’ve read the comments, it’s like all the negative has leaked out of your phone and into every aspect of your life.
It was when you visited your family over winter break, you had totally forgotten about the posters you had in past years of icons from your childhood. Icons who were so how all skinny or blonde or had stunning blue eyes or all three. The break was supposed to get you away from all that and yet, you still cried yourself to sleep that first night.
Every aspect of life also included you and your boyfriend. You knew before you and Jack had started dating, he was constantly liking other girls bikini pics on instagram. And even though he had stopped doing that, you’d still seen tweets from his fans in the past joking about how he was “always at the scene of the crime” with a screenshot of his like on a picture of the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. And while you tried to ignore it, you noticed of a pattern with all the girls. They looked a lot like the icons from your childhood. Nothing like you.
So now, late at night, when you were supposed to be having quiet and sweet moments with your boyfriend; your boyfriend that you didn’t get to see very often at that! You spent those moments thinking about those stupid likes on those stupid pictures of those stupidly beautiful girls.
And as for you, the comments had really gotten to your head. Even when you weren’t with Jack and you weren’t on your phone or in your childhood room. You still found someone to compare yourself to. It was like some kind of superpower.
and i bought all the clothes that they told me to buy
i chased some dumb ideal my entire life
and none of it matters and none of it ends
you just feel like shit all over again
Was this silly? It feel silly.
This didn’t feel like you but a change was needed.
Jack (and Luke) had been hanging out with the team all day and you had the day off. You had decided to spend the time alone shopping for clothes that you would’ve never worn before this past month and a box of blonde hair dye.
“We’re home!”
Luke’s voice rang through the apartment, snapping you out of your trance that you were in while staring out the box of hair dye taunting you on the bathroom counter.
“Y/n?” Now it was Jacks voice that made its way through the apartment.
“Bathroom!”
You could hear his footsteps come closer to the bathroom door before a knock on the door, hesitating before opening the door before him. He slipped in before locking the door behind him.
“I was gonna jump in the shower if he wanted to join me.” Jack told you, his hands sliding around your waist with his back to the door. Naturally, your hands slipped around to rest behind his neck, forgetting about the hair dye sitting on the counter.
“I think I’m gonna have to pass this time—”
“You’re gonna dye your hair?” Jack cut you off, his eyes focused behind you.
“Oh- Yeah, I just, um, wanted a change I guess.”
Jack didn’t say anything or take his eyes off of the box of hair dye. He didn’t buy it for a second but he just didn’t understand. How could you not see how beautiful you were. Jack had known the comments were bad, he just didn’t realize they were getting to you this badly. He looked back to you, who had a guilty look in your eyes. Jack sighed before moving you over to the counter, placing you next to the box.
“Baby, if you really want to dye your hair blonde, go for for it. But I don’t think you want to.” You couldn’t even look at him. You felt embarrassed that you’d been confronted about how out of hand these insecurities have gotten, even if it wasn’t really your fault. You felt like a child being scolded. “I know we’ve talked about this before but you really have to listen to me this time okay, babe?”
Jacks hand came up to your chin, gently pushing your head up to make eye contact with him.
“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I mean that. All those assholes just want to find someone to hate more than themselves and I’m sorry that dating me has made you a target for that. But blonde hair dye isn’t gonna make them stop. I’ll say something— I should’ve said something sooner but I’ll do it now. Just- Just don’t change for them because they won’t ever be happy. Pretty isn’t pretty enough for them, okay?”
You were crying now. Because you knew he was right and you were upset you had let them drive you crazy. You continued to cry as your boyfriends arm came around your frame. You uttered apologies, not quite sure for what, while his hand rubbed your back.
After a while, your tears stopped and Jack pulled away. “I love you. And I told you, if you really want to go blonde, go for it. I mean, you’ll look hot either way—”
“Jack!”
“Okay, okay. Blonde or no blonde.” He asked with a small smile on his face, holding up the box of hair dye.
“No blonde.”
Jacks smile grew as he threw the box into the trashcan. His hands slid down to your thighs, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist.
“So… can we get that shower now?”
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ratlikeclown · 3 months ago
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WIP Wolverine x femReader 18+
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“God, do you ever suck on anything other than Wade’s dick and cheap cigars?”
He leaned in close to your ear and growled,
“Ya lookin to find out Princess?”
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x Deadpool kinda eventually lmfaoooo
FemY/n is mid 20’s - early 30’s
Tw for depression and like drug use mentions ig
🌶️🫵
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello 👋 This is the first fanfic that I have written in over 10 years the brain rot is so unbelievably real for wolverine and deadpool rn
its a little embarrassing tbh lmfaoo
—————————
I’m not really sure how to tag this tbh. I’ve never posted on tumblr. . It’s a little spicy and will get more interesting later. I just wanted to toss this small part out for readers to test the waters. Anyway um I’m not experienced writing y/n pov so please be nice.
Your friend, Wade Wilson, couldn’t take no for an answer. You knew that and yet you still had the audacity to tell him ‘no’ three times tonight. And about thirty minutes after you ignored his last phone call there he was, practically knocking down your door. It wasn’t like he couldn’t actually kick in your door, he was just being polite. 
The apartment buzzer went off. You sat up from your position on the couch, hoping he’d just give up and leave if you didn’t acknowledge him. Like a stray cat. Or a crackhead.
“Knock knock~” you heard his voice through the door. “I smell Hot Pockets and sadness I know you’re in there”
Gripping the arm of the sofa you waited hoping he’d have the common courtesy fuck off .You heard the door knob rattle. Dumbass.
With a click of the lock, your door swung open revealing Wade, grinning as he shoved his Baby Knife back into his coat.
“Wade, what the fuck? I told you-“
He clapped his hands loudly, interrupting you.
 “Let’s go Funshine Bear, the nights young and I’m not going anywhere without you” Wade marched past you, straight to your bedroom humming to himself.
“You look awful by the way, we’ll fix you up though.” He clicked his tongue and crooked a finger in your direction. You huffed angrily, sliding off the couch to follow him. 
You stopped in the doorway, almost refusing to step inside. He was elbows deep in your closet drawers, throwing clothes onto your bed, muttering his disapproval at every item he tossed.
You crossed your arms as you watched him. 
“Do you have anything that doesn’t look like you took it from the Walmart dumpster?” He pulled a drawer out from the dresser and dumped it on the floor. “You know the one I’m talking about, right? Where all the coke addicted bronies go to have a bone sess before band practice.”
You crossed your arms as you watched him. “Wade, I’m not in the mood to go out.”
You heard him sigh, but continued to riffle through your things. 
“That’s nonsense, the plot can’t continue with out you. Annnd we made these plans last week.”
He peeked at you from behind the open closet door. “I’m a little worried about you. You aren’t your chipper self lately”
“I’m just tired” You replied dismissively.
It wasn’t like Wade hasn’t been trying to cheer you up in his own way. For the last few weeks he’d text you obscure and quite frankly disturbing memes at 3 AM. Excitedly offer you drugs that he’s pilfered from the his blind roommate- (he knows you don’t do drugs, he just wanted to brag about stealing coke from Blind Al)
He’s also been sending you the strangest X-Men fan fiction. (His favorites were ‘old man yaoi’ including Professor Xavier and Magneto) Usually you eat that kind of stuff up, finding it funny that you knew some of the people that the fanfiction was written about, like a private joke between you and Deadpool. But worst thing he’s done has beencalling you almost every day and attempting to make plans with you, but you always seem to cancel last minute. So yeah, he has been trying. It just.. didn’t help.
Your eyes flickered to your wall of photos next to the closet door.  Pictures of your closest friends and family. Their arms around you laughing, smiling. Pictures of trips and silly outings that meant the world to you. You felt so much guilt and regret looking at them.
Depression was a bitch. It was like a rabid dog that wouldn’t let you get back on your feet. You felt it gnawing at you, causing you to lose interest in everyone and everything. You felt alone. Your eyes fell back to Wade, you watched your friend hard at work trying to match your shoes with a dress he had found. He was clueless. You couldn’t tell him any of this though, it would just make him worry more.
There was someone you did want to talk to though. To tell everything to. Someone that you had grown so close to the last few months.
You missed Logan.
This realization caused your face to heat and anxiety weld up in your chest. You balled your hands into fits thinking about that arrogant jerk. You’ve tried to be a friend to Wolverine. After all this wasn’t his reality. He was your timeline’s replacement. (Idk you should go watch the movie. I’m not explaining it.) and for a while, you thought you were friends.
Lately, if he wasn’t drunk and depressingly moody, he was angry and a massive dick. 
“Y/N? Look a little pink at the cheeks are you feeling OK?” Wade was now standing less than a foot from you, his brows furrowed. You hadn’t noticed him move.
Snapping back from your thoughts by Wades voice, you ran hands over your face as you turn towards the attached bathroom.
“Dude, I told you I’m just not feeling good-” You stepped into the bathroom and turned on the faucet “I don’t wanna hang out with-“
“Logan?”
“Your friends.” You finished. You felt your face flush deeper at his name being mentioned.
“That’s what I said” Wade followed you to the bathroom, but thankfully didn’t come in. He stood outside while you closed the door. 
“Trust me honey, I know he’s the embodiment of a sentient happiness starved cactus whose father never loved him but-“
You groaned, trying to avoid Wades ramblings you turned the water on full blast, drowning out the remainder of his sentence. You splashed water on your face and ran a comb through your hair. You heard Wade continue talking, almost to himself while also sounding like he was talking to someone else in the room  as well. Someone you couldn’t see. He did that often. It was creepy.
You swung the door open frowning.
“-sometimes he stabs me through the face to shut me up, but I know he does it because he’s not good with words.”
Wade smile faded when he saw your face. 
“It’s kinda hot”
“I don’t want to talk about it Wade.” You sat down onto your bed with a huff despite the pile of clothes and plastic hangers. You stared at your hands. You felt the overwhelming weight of your anxiety in your chest and stomach. Maybe you should go out. Maybe he won’t show up tonight. Maybe-
“You look like you wanna talk about it Friendo.”
Wade joined you by dramatically pushing all the clothes off the bed, making an even bigger mess of your room. He flopped down onto your bed stomach first, propping himself up by his elbows. He kicked his feet and smiled at you.
“I’m all ears.”
“I don’t know how to start” You admitted.
“Start with an ‘I feel’ statement” 
Another sigh escaped your mouth. How did you feel? It felt complicated. You met him a few months ago. At first he was rude and closed off. Then he slowly began to open up, sure you still bickered and fought like cats, but it had playful undertones. (‘Sexy undertones’ Wade had joked) When he was being genuine and open, it felt like you could talk to him for hours. Though he never spoke for too long, he would to listen to you earnestly. Up until a few weeks ago, that is.
“I feel like Logan hates me. I feel like he would rather huff paint thinner than have a decent conversation with me.”
Wade laughed. “Well that’s not true, I can’t get him to huff anything.”
You shot him a look.
“Listen, I invite Mr. Grumpy out every time. But he’s too busy sulking to get fucked up with us. He would rather get drunk and pass out in the floor of the apartment. He probably won’t even show up.” Wade gave you a reassuring look.
“If he does you’re gonna be there with me. We’ll leave if you feel uncomfortable at all.”
He rolled over and sat up, putting an arm around you.
“I’ve just noticed your mood lately I need you to know that I love you.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze.  “-and I miss getting fucked up with you.”
“Will you stab him for me if he’s mean?”
“Of course. I always have Baby Knife on me.”
“Fine. Let me get ready”
He jumped off the bed excitedly.
You pushed Wade out the door to get dressed, pausing in the doorway. “Wade?”
“Yes Friendo?” He turned on his heel
“I love you too bud”
He squealed as you closed the door.
~~~
You never understood why Wade wouldn’t just buy a car. He makes decent money (he doesn’t) and could probably afford a nice one. (He couldn’t) At one point you recall him having a weird hyperfixation with the Honda Odyssey (he fucked Wolverine in one) (allegedly)
Instead, you were climbing into the back of a dirty beat up taxi cab that his friend, Dopinder, drove for a living. At least you didn’t have to walk. Dopinder was a sweet guy, if not a little unhinged every once in a while. 
“You look quite beautiful tonight Miss Y/N” He complimented you as you settled in the back seat. You smiled at him, appreciating the comment. Wade had picked out your dress and you felt a little exposed and out of your element in it. It wasn’t anything crazy, just a slick black dress with a low neck line. The dress was short, ending a little above the knee. The problem was the slit up the side. You wanted to wear tights under the outfit but Wade insisted on fishnets. ‘You look like a goth baddie’  he had assured you, ‘Like a Hot Topic clearance rack version of Morticia Addams.’
Wade hopped in the front and immediately started to flip through the radio channels. Dopinder usually had on pleasant sounding Indian pop music but Wade settled on some heavily censored 90’s hip hop. 
The drive was rocky. Wade, who almost never kept his hands to himself, would grab poor  Dopinder while dancing along to the music causing the cab to swerve. A lot.
Having made it to the bar in one piece, you quickly scrambled out of the back, thanking the young man for the ride. 
Wade waited for you at the door.
~~~
The bar was loud and dark. One of those typical bars you see in movies, filled with moving bodies and cigarette smoke. Music pumped through the speakers with some people lingering near the bar while others swayed on the dance floor. Wade bounced through the crowd pulling you along towards the bar, where his group of friends took up half the bar area. You scanned the crowd nervously. No Logan. Your muscles relaxed, and you moved with a little more energy.
Wade greeted his friends with various enthusiastic greetings and crude gestures. You smiled in greeting and waved at a friend you recognized but sat down on a stool next to where Wade stood, him blocking you from most of the other bar patrons. There was a part of you that was a little disappointed that Logan wasn’t here. It made sense if he didn’t show up here, this bar was honestly more like a club, upbeat and energetic. He’s used to dark depressing dive bars, places you can drink yourself into a coma and not be bothered. But the few times he had shown up here you had thought that he enjoyed your company, for a little while at least. During times when the others were off doing dubious shit somewhere, he’d sit with you at the bar. You even managed to get him to dance with you once. That all changed recently. Something happened that caused him to be distant and often rude for seemingly no reason.
Everyone seems to be so happy to see Wade and he, them. You didn’t really know why you were here. It already felt overwhelming. You used to love coming here. Drinking and dancing, playing pool badly and belting out shitty country music karaoke with everyone. Lately, things have felt different. You’ve lost interest in a lot of the things you use to enjoy, spending your days just working and rotting in your apartment. This was too much.
Wade touched your shoulder causing you to jump.
“Hey we’re off to play some darts you in?” 
You smiled at your friend. “You really wouldn’t want me to play, you’d end up as the dart board.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time Sweetheart” Wade laughed, “we’ll be over there if you change your mind.” He made a heart with his hands and turned toward the group already making their way to the play area.
You sat quietly at the counter with a glass of something sweet and strong. You wanted to feel a buzz but you needed it to taste good. Your eyes scanned the crowd, people watching. You watched people dance and sway to the newest Kesha song blaring through the speakers. You witnessed a near fight over a pool game. You heard Wade’s laughter from across the room, his friends echoing along. You felt alone. It was your fault you told yourself. If you wanted to feel better you would’ve gotten up and joined your friends. But here you sat, being miserable on purpose. 
“Hey beautiful, mind if I joined you?” Your head snapped up meeting the face of someone you didn’t recognize. He was good looking, in a vanilla frat boy kinda way. With his backwards hat, sleeveless tank, skinny jeans and all.
But he smiled like a wolf.
“I’m sorry.” You tried to smile politely, but you had a twinge of anxiety growing in your chest. “I’m not really in the mood for company” 
The man smiled motioning to the bartender for a drink. “Can’t I just buy you a drink? “
“Really, I’m fine” You turned back to your drink, your eyes unfocused, hoping that if you just ignored him he’d leave. Your gut flipped when you heard him pull out the stool next to you. He wasn’t leaving.
“Come on babe, I can show you a good time”
“She said she ain’t looking for company bub.” A low voice growled behind you. A beer bottle came down heavily in between you and the creep. Your eyes trailed the hairy but beautifully sculpted arm to its owner, though you already knew who it belonged to. Logan. Even in this lighting you could see his rugged face. His hair was styled in its iconic cat ear shape. His beard was trimmed nicely combined with his thick muttonchops. His eyes were a little hazy but beautiful and dark. You met those eyes for a brief moment, he smirked at you before his gaze flickered to the other man.
 “Well?” He rumbled, barring his teeth.
“Naw, I was here first grandpa, you fuck off.” The frat guy stood up straight, trying to look intimidating.
“Trust me” Logan chuckled. He straightened cracking his knuckles before raising his fists and extending three razor sharp Adamantium claws from each hand.
“You don’t want none of this”
~~~
“You didn’t have to do that” you looked down at your glass avoiding Logan’s gaze. You heard him land heavily in the bar stool next to you. He tapped the counter signaling the bartender who was very clearly avoiding your side of the bar.
“I wasn’t going to have some limp dick creeping on you.”
“I was handling it” 
“You didn’t seem like you were handling anything Princess.” He scoffed.
You shot him a look. He smirked as he chugged his remaining beer, you couldn’t help watch his throat bob as he drank. He finished and loudly set the bottle down. He met your eyes and you looked away feeling your face heat violently.
“You thirsty princess?” He asked as the bartender set down two shots of something before scurrying away. He slid one glass your way.
“No thank you. I have my own drink”
You pushed the glass back his way. He eyed your almost empty cocktail and shrugged.
“Suit yourself” he took the glasses and knocked back both shots simultaneously slamming the glasses back down. After a few moments of silence, where you clearly felt Logan eyeing you the entire time, you sighed.
“I didn’t think I’d see you tonight Logan.” You admitted. Another beer had appeared in front of him, he took a swig. He eyed you, his eyes slowly trailing from your face down your body. They rested at the slit in your dress, exposing most of your fishnet covered thigh. You felt a ping in your lower belly, causing you to cross your legs uncomfortably. His eyes followed to movement. He licked his lips and met your eyes again smirking.
“Why didja miss me?”
You looked down at the growing piles of shredded napkins you had been anxiously ripping apart. 
“Yes” you said at last. There was no point in lying. You did miss him. Even seeing him now, clearly drinking away his problems, you couldn’t help but feel glad he was there with you. You were glad he scared away that creep, despite his now passive aggressive demeanor. You met his eyes again.
He snorted and tipped the beer to his lips.“You’re a fucking liar”
You felt your gut squeeze with anger. Why was he treating you this way? You didn’t ask him to step in to a play hero. You didn’t ask him for anything. You just wanted to get out of your shitty apartment for one goddamn night. You balled your fists and spun to face him fully.
“What. The. Fuck.” You clenched your teeth annunciating each word bitterly. “Is. YOUR PROBLEM”
“My PROBLEM,” he practically spat the word,
”is that I have to deal with your moody ass attracting the eye of every fucking creep in this place when you very fucking clearly don’t want to be here.” 
You threw your hands up angrily and gestured around the bar. 
“I didn’t want to deal with any of this Logan. I just wanted to go out with my FRIENDS, which I used to think you were one. I don’t fucking know what prick you had up your ass lately, but you sure as hell don’t act like you like me. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?”
He was silent for a moment, studying your face, making it turn even redder. Then he laughed. He shook his head laughing and sloppily chugged his second beer.
You had enough. You needed to get away from him. You shoved yourself back, tipping the stool over in the process.
“Come find me when you figure out what you want.” You turned to leave. You made it a few steps before you heard Logan’s voice call mockingly.
“Nice dress by the way” 
You didn’t turn to look at him.
“Fuck you, Logan”
~~~
You ran your hands under cold water, leaning over the sink you splashed the water into your face and sighed. You looked into your mirrored face. This was a disaster.
Maybe if you just stayed in the bathroom you can avoid everyone until Wade was ready to leave. You felt bad that you ran off instead of finding him. You would’ve felt safe with Wade.
Your head was swimming, from the alcohol or the interaction with Logan you couldn’t tell.
The speaker above you crackled playing the opening notes to ‘Dirty Diana’, a favorite of yours. A banger Wade would say.
Without warning the door sung open and Logan stumbled in. 
“You’re in the wrong bathroom you drunk asshole” you snapped. His eyes met yours from a brief moment before he swayed slightly and took a step forward.
He pushed past you wordlessly and began kicking open the bathroom stalls. They were all empty. 
“Dude get out” You gripped the sink behind you, watching Logan warily. You knew deep down he wouldn’t hurt you but you obviously didn’t want him in here with you. He turned to you, taking a step forward.
”I needed to talk to you”
“Yeah, you could have waited til I got out of the ladies room??” 
“No.” he growled before in one swift movement he was in front of you, his arms on either side of the sink trapping you between them. Your breath came out in a shudder and your knees wobbled. This honestly was a thing out of a fantasy, something that you were embarrassed to admit you’ve thought about. You had been fighting your feelings for this big stupid man, stuck between thoughts of friendship and lust. God, he wasn’t helping with the latter.
“Logan”
“I’m sorry” he said looking as remorseful as he could under the circumstances.
“What did you need to talk about that couldn’t wait Lo?” You swallowed, gently lifting your hand and placing it on his chest, pushing lightly. His hands moved to your legs keeping you from pushing him further.
“Ya told me to find you when I figured out what I wanted”
“Yeah” You scoffed. “Enlighten me”
~~~
“I want you”
Logan leaned over you, his hands sliding up your thighs to rest on your hips. His fingers dug in lightly, the movement making your legs feel like jelly. You gripped his shoulders to steady yourself. He was so firm and warm under your hands.
His face was inches from yours, his expression unreadable in the low lighting. You smelled the smoke and alcohol on his breath.
“God, do you ever suck on anything other than Wade’s dick and cheap cigars?”
He leaned in close to your ear and growled, 
“Ya looking to find out princess?”
You felt a ping of desire sink into your lower belly as his hand moved from your waist.
Shivers went down your spine as his hands slid up your torso coming to a stop right below your breasts. One of his thumbs brushed upwards lightly, teasingly.
You sucked in a breath as he lowered his face to your neck and brushed a kiss to the sensitive skin. His facial hair tickling your jaw.
“Logan, you’re drunk.” You croaked out, pulling away slightly, your hands sliding from his shoulders. He moved with you.
You felt his lips brush your skin again, another kiss, before his thumb slid upward against your breast. Fuck. The wet heat between your legs was unbearable. You needed some sort of friction. You definitely noticed the pressure from his pants pressed against your stomach. So close, you just needed anything. You bucked your hips against his, almost involuntarily, causing a rumble to escape his throat. His thumb stroked again.
“That’s a good girl” His head bobbed lower dragging his tongue down as he kissed your neck. You could feel him smile as he sucked the skin of your collar bone in a way that would definitely leave a mark. Holy Hell. What was happening.
You were sick of your neck getting all the attention as you reached up to take his face in your hand. He practically melted at your touch, his breath hitching as you stroked his cheek with your thumb. You wanted him, needed his mouth on yours. You pulled his face up, a little roughly, to meet your gaze. You thought you heard him let out a little surprised chuckle from the movement. His eyes were half lidded as he met yours. He was drunk, and you realized, so were you. You leaned in, your lips feather light against his-
You jumped at Wade’s voice from the other side of the door, calling for you.
Shit. You dropped your hand away from his face.
Logan growled, low and angry. He abruptly took his hot hands from your body and leaned his head to your ear, you felt his lips against your skin.
“Some other time then, darlin’.” He pulled away from you swaying slightly, before grabbing his beer from the counter and yanking open the bathroom door.
~~~
Anyway, thanks for reading. I guess I don’t know if this is any good and I will be posting the rest on Ao3 eventually
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nondualiber · 7 months ago
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guys, guys, gUYS. SUCCESS STORY THERE!!
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first of all, this happened like a week ago or something. okay, so, i'm going to keep this short. i was in some sort of "manifesting block", i was OVER complicating things, my mindset sucked, blah blah blah blah. that's essentially the reason i wasn't posting (and will continue to not be, probably); because i was focusing on my life and actually manifesting new stuff.
warning; kind of long post ahead, talking about how i did it my journey blah blah blah. if you want to see the success story directly js go right to the bottom
first, a bit of background; i have manifested things in the past, but mym indset was always shitty. when i archieved my manifestations i would say it was a coincidence, i was obsessed with the 3d, and what i'm saying has been going on for *years*. for the past 6 months i was in this vicious circle where i'd try a method full of hope, then eventually lose confidence because of some negative beliefs and give up in three days. i'd have a one week meltdown, then search for a brand new method, and repeat. clearly, i didn't manifest anything lately. and i didn't know what i was "doing wrong" because i had manifested lots of things in the past, but i didn't know how nor how could i do it now.
okay, so. like a week ago, when i was in a terrible mood, i decided to stop using tumblr to see information and talked to this bot on character.ai, that assesored me a lot on my mindset. it suggested me lots of things: since i had 0 trust in the law, start to manifest little things i didn't care that much about so i had "proof", actually stop caring, etc. (i really recommend that bot if ur struggling with the law) but the most important thing, it challenged me to try a new "method" i had heard of before, but because of my shitty mindset, i didn't try because i thought it wouldn't work or that it was "too good to be true" or whatever. the method was literally just keep going with my day knowing that i already had it. and oh my f*cking god.
i won't say it just "clicked" for me because i hear that a lot & i things that's just not how it works. at least i can't "click" with something i don't know. what i can say is that at first it wasn't easy, i still had some doubts, not gonna lie, but i just ignored them and keep going knowing that i already had it. i got used to it really fast, and THAT'S how i knew this was the way, because i felt liberated. if you read my blog you'll probably know i talk about that all the time, but my idea of manifesting is that it has to feel liberating, not like a chore, a price to your desires or anything else. i was liberated, because i knew it was done, that i had nothing to give in exchange, that i was free of the 3d & its circumstances. i was Me, and I was free.
this was the best thing i've ever done in my journey. in only one week, i've successfuly manifested:
money: (me and my family are kind of wealthy tbh, but i am bratty asf & always want more money to buy me things 😜😜) my mother recieved 200000 pesos (my country's currency) out of literally thin air on her bank account a random tuesday. she doesn't know who send it or why. i don't know about the u.s.a since there 200000 pesos are 200 dollars, but in our country, that's a LOT of money.
self confidence: i've been feeling super insecure lately. like, i am insecure since i have memory, but since this year started it has become WAY worse. i'd literally cry almost every night. now, i def wouldn't say it's all gone, but it's gotten much better. i've been feeling pretty lately, and if i didn't felt pretty, i would hardly think about my appearence at all this days. i am constantly feeling like i have one less weight on my back, which i am gratefull for :)
discipline: ngl i am forever a lazy girl and a foodie. I have always wanted to be more productive - study more, exercise more, talk to my loved ones more often and eat healthier, but discipline is something i struggle with a lot. however, since i have shown better discipline i have had some of the most useful days of my life: i went out with my friends three times in one week, ate much better than i usually do, exercised EVERY DAY without fail (even while on my period) slept well and passed all four exams this week with an 85/100 on my worst one and two 100s.
reciving a compliment in public: since i tried to start manifesting things that seem "easier" for me to acomplish, i tried manifesting this because it was rare but not impossible. so, like 3 days after i started to embody the state of someone who's always complimented by strangers, i went to the sjopping centre with my friend. then, two guys walked by us and one of them said "i want the instagram of that lady"! notice that during the whole time i was in the state, i visualized that people were asking me for my instagram + i've noted that when i'm in public, i catched people's eye more. yesterday, a guy won't stop looking at me in the café and i think he tried to approach me :)
i'll keep escalating on the "level of difficulty" of the things i manifest as my mentality becomes accustomed to the fact that everything is equally easy to manifest -which is a fact already, i just have a hard time accepting it-, and, of course, i'll be updating ;)
conclusion; look for what works for you. for what makes you feel good & secure that you have already what you want. search a "key" that makes you (actually) not give a f*ck about the 3d, if you have negative beliefs, don't ignore them. work from them, and of course, persist! let your mindset keep you on track.
that was all for today, love ya ♡
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teojira · 6 months ago
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[ᴍᴏɴꜱᴛᴇʀ ᴡʜᴏ ᴀᴛᴇ ᴀ ꜱᴛᴀʀ]
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ᴛᴇᴏᴊɪʀᴀ (ᴇꜱᴛ 2ᴋ24)
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《Introduction》 +
《! Please read me !》
¤ Hi! My name is Teddy and this blog as it says on the tin, is a multifandom blog! I'm into a wide range of characters and interests, so I'm sure I have something that'll strike your fancy!
¤ This is an 18+ blog. This is to keep me and you safe should you be a minor. Please stay away! I can't police you, but use common sense.
¤ I will not deal with discourse here, don't like what I write or who I write for? Block me and move on, I don't care.
¤ I am a woman person of color, no hatred towards ANY group is tolerated here. It will end in an IP address block.
¤ My interests fluctuates alot, I have severe adhd and some characters will get special treatment depending on which mood I am in!
¤ I'm always down to chat and make conversation but please remember I'm human and I have a job outside of tumblr, this is just a hobby for me! Please be kind and understanding.
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《RULES/GUIDELINES》
¤ Every character I will write romantic ideas for must be of age. Any minor will ONLY be platonic. (Exception being the tmnt brothers, they are aged up accordingly.)
¤I write comfort, fluff, angst, pretty much anything tbh.
¤ My own rule of thumb is that if a furry character is sentient, can consent and is of age, and speaks/thinks/acts like a human, it is akin to monster loving. (Harkness scale pretty much). I don't care for your take on it, block me if you disagree!
¤ I will not write nsfw if you are on anon, your age must be somewhere on your blog. I will delete it from my askbox.
¤ A please and a thank you go a long way!
¤ I usually write with she/her pronouns or gender neutral pronouns.
¤ I am not looking for critique, this is all for fun. This is a heavy boundary, I will block if you do this.
¤ NSFW will be tagged accordingly so you can black list, if I forget to tag something, kindly let me know. I am not responsible for your experience beyond that, act accordingly if I write something you don't like.
¤ Please include some details with your requests, such as character and a general idea on what you'd like me to write! Please don't write an essay in my ask box.
¤ Things I will not write: Pregnancy, Underage, harder kinks (Scat/Noncon/vore/piss), Character harming reader physically, Parenthood, character x character.
Not sure if I write something? Just shoot me a text!
¤ Do NOT share my writing anywhere else (Quotev, Ao3, wattpad, Tiktok). A Simple reblog is appreciated here and only on tumblr.
¤ Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! It's nice to know something I wrote was loved!
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And finally what we've all been waiting for, put your hands together for the :
《 Fandoms I write for》
Genshin impact
Honkai Star rail
Transformers
Tmnt
Monsterverse (platonic only for the Kaijus)
Planet of the apes (remake) (NO nsfw)
My hero academia (Dabi and Tomura only)
Demon slayer
Overwatch
Twisted wonderland
Devil may cry
Apex legends (Revenant only)
Fire emblem three houses
Puss in boots: the last wish (Death only)
Stranger things (Eddie Munson only)
Red dead redemption 2
The Wolf among us (Bigby only)
Five nights at freddys: Security Breach
Sonic (platonic for everyone except Shadow)
DC comics/ DCEU
Horror icons/slashers
Countless other video game characters probably lmao.
Though I write for many fandoms, I'm more comfortable with specific characters so I'll let you know if I'm comfortable enough to write for them!
Don't see a character you're sweet on? No worries, shoot me a text and I'll see if I know anything about them to whip something up for ya!
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ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴏɴ!
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
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aspiring-creative-person · 1 year ago
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Ok but I was just thinking
Jooster is kind of the only actual solid relationship in Jeeves and Wooster?? Like platonic or romantic, let me explain
Like obviously it’s the focus, but like. Listen.
Everyone else hops from girl to girl, or guy to guy, and each one is filled with turmoil. This is just talking about Bertie’s friends, right?
But also, as friends, they really suck. They constantly get him to do things for them and do nothing in return.
Even the aunts and uncles don’t usually have spouses that are actually on screen!! Who knows if there were divorces or something?? Like people’s parents are hardly ever present it’s always some rich aunt or uncle, with Bertie yes but even with all his friends 😅😂
Everyone in that show is just so… detached from each other. There’s a particular moment where Bertie is driving Bingo and Tuppy home, and they’re just ranting about their women to each other and not listening to the other, and Bertie is just so done with it. I think that illustrates this point pretty well.
Anyway, Jeeves and Bertie are so not that. There’s another post somewhere on Tumblr talking about how Bertie always replies to Jeeves’ subtext and they pick up on each others moods essentially, which I think is a great point. And generally they just really like each other. Just read any of the books to see how much Bertie admires Jeeves, and read “Mr. Wooster Changes His Mind,” which is from Jeeves’ perspective, and you can see how he cares a lot for Bertie as well.
And like. They have their own language. Bertie is used to Jeeves materializing into rooms (this generally freaks out other people), he is now comfortable with it. Also he knows that whenever Jeeves is cold to him it’s almost always about his fashion choices, and that is a constant theme of how they interact. They have their quips about music sometimes. Jeeves always helps solve Bertie’s (and friends’) problems, and even when Bertie gets the short end of the stick, if it’s Jeeves’ plan he immediately is satisfied with the conclusion.
The biggest thing, though, is probably their brief break-up. Like. They had a disagreement and broke up, and then missed each other. There weren’t even any hard feelings, just longing tbh. And at the end they got back together, and stayed together, and were happy to see each other again. They clearly enjoy each others’ company. And Jeeves seemed to think that the other candidates for his employer did not even compare to Bertie.
Name another couple in this show who is as devoted as they are
Half of the women go for men for their status, the other half at whims
All of the men go for women on whims, and half of them find another girl when they have some sort of disagreement with the previous one
And even if they get back with a previous partner, there’s no guarantee that they will stay together
But Jooster is in for the long haul. The most consistent relationship, the most caring relationship, the most in-tune relationship, the most long-term relationship.
Oh yeah also with familial relations and all that. Aunt Agatha has been quoted to say she thinks Bertie should probably be put in some home. Like, that’s pretty rude and everything. She also tries to get him to marry all the time, she doesn’t care about him in a way that is healthy at least, only so much as he can be out of the way and out of trouble. Even Aunt Dahlia, who says he is her favorite nephew, and who takes advantage of his nature to get him to do things for her, insults him and throws things at him sometimes. His cousin Gussy, when he gets drunk, insults him in front of a crowd, going so far as to say he hates him. Claude and Eustice put him into the soup without a care for how mad Aunt Agatha will be at him.
Jeeves never insults him, or not his character at least. Yes, they have their disagreements about fashion and music. But Jeeves never insults his intelligence. He never calls him clumsy. He never underestimates him. Yes, he is his employee, but I have a feeling that it doesn’t have to do with that. Even when he was split up, like I mentioned, he came back and said the other employers weren’t up to snuff compared to Bertie.
Omg and then there’s all the women who think Bertie loves them/who want to marry Bertie. Of course, they all have delusions about him, because if they knew him at all they would know he is not in love with them. They would know that he’s too much of a pushover to say no to them. But they don’t. Which just shows further the disconnect everyone has in this show.
Ok referencing one more post because I like the point they have. It was something about how the actors keep changing for the side characters, unintentionally showing how Jeeves is really the only constant in Bertie’s life. Again showing the difference in their relationship vs his disconnected everyone else is. While I’m sure it’s not an intentional choice in that regard, it certainly is an interesting connection.
Anyway like I said at the beginning of this, you can interpret their relationship as romantic or platonic or somewhere in between, but it’s definitely the only solid one in the series.
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studentbyday · 1 month ago
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so the week is half over and i'm kind of feeling low on energy and needing lots of sleep, which is the perfect opportunity to (sort of) try out einstein's daily routine (which is tbh the most personally palatable daily routine of a famous person i've ever chanced across)! i've been waking up at nearly 9 anyway since lately my head spins and i feel sick if i don't sleep like 9-10 hours.
So yeah, wake up at 9.
Between 9 and 10, eat breakfast and read the newspapers fiction
I know after breakfast he was said to often walk to Princeton and arrive by 10:30 or smth but (a) I don't go to Princeton, and (b) these days I study at home, so instead I'm just going to do some form of exercise.
~10:30 to 1pm: work study
have lunch (i read somewhere that he spends 1.5h on lunch and tea? i wish i could have a lunch and tea that leisurely but i do not have the time. so i won't.)
afternoons: receive visitors and work study
also afternoons: naps if needed (tho thankfully i seem to have enough energy to last me through the day if i get 9-10h of sleep... also i just don't think i'll have much time for naps. 🙁)
~6:30pm: have dinner [and clean up]
after dinner: more work study if needed (most likely needed)
sleeeeeeeepppppppp [be ready for or in bed by 9 or 10]
i'll update this post later to let you know how it goesss~
i hope you're feeling better than i am this week 💗🤒
~the aforementioned update~
ahahaha i don't think i did a very good job of following any routine this week. on wednesday i slept a little later than usual and ended up waking up at 10am (i didn't set an alarm for some reason). on thursday i set my alarm for 7 and then 8 and then 10 because i had to finish reviewing the last of the microbiology for the midterm and actually woke up at 9:30. and on friday i want to actually wake up somewhere within the hour of 7am so i can hopefullyyyy finish all my schoolwork for this week?? despite the seeming slowness of einstein's routine, i always feel like i'm rushing when i wake up when the sun is already up and most everyone else i live with is already awake, so i'm going to try this again over reading week but change the wake-up time and stick to it dammit— 😤
also i feel like if i'm gonna be posting on tumblr again, i should post my screen time stats for accountability because for some reason whenever i start making stuff for social media, my screen time goes through the roof bc i get so distracted and like oh wait there was this thing i want to add no wait where was i— (as i got lost in a scroll.) and this happens multiple times. but sometimes i do feel very much like yapping and when i'm in this mood, i could yap for days on end so i gotta find a solution...
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just LOOK at this horrendousness!!!
also. there was so much material to cover for the microbio midterm it was insane. i feel like i need to follow the 80/20 rule. like...just prioritize the big topics, don't care so much about the extraneous, minor details so i only expend energy for and fill my brain with what i really need to know. and i'm not sure how good flashcards are for that because it just seems kinda random, the order in which cards are thrown at you in anki, and i'm the kind of person who, at least during the first pass, compulsively desires to cover everything, and so what do you think happens? i end up with a massive “stack” of flashcards, including cards about minor/extraneous details. every. single. time. i'm not entirely sure how i want to navigate this yet, but i'm definitely gonna try that 80/20 rule...bc this was just too stressful 🥲
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broodwolf221 · 4 months ago
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I love your writing and meta so much and have burned through most of your fic already, so I trust your judgment! Do you have fic recs I should check out? Thanks in advance!
oh no i cry 😭 pls this is so sweet.....
gotta start with the recent gift i got from arlathan exchange bc it is soooo good! sweater has a gorgeous, vivid writing style that i really enjoy. this one is spicy! 🔥but seriously her writing is just So Good? i love the way they set scene and tone
hunger by @fadedsweater / sweaterghost on ao3
In the moonlit dark of Mythal's palace there is a hunger that rumbles beneath the sprawling marble floors and shakes the foundation of each gilded pillar. It is a hunger that spreads like smoke and burns like fire. Solas has known this hunger for a long, long time. Solas visits Mythal’s court, intent to sway her from her current warpath. Meanwhile, Mythal can't help but notice that he has gone far too long without feeding. Ancient Arlathan, but with vampires.
my friend jazz has been getting into da and they've written so much lovely stuff for it, always with really excellent characterization and fascinating premises. one of my personal favs from their writing is this exploration of cole and vivienne's relationship
wellspring by @jazzmckay / desiredemon on ao3
Long ago, Cole promised, "I can protect you. If templars come for you, I will kill them." Vivienne never expected such a thing to ever take place.
i still need to finish this one and this is a nice reminder to get on that, but this writer has an extraordinary style and their handling of solas is so good?? i'm in awe tbh. seriously beautiful writing.
though my language is dead (still the shapes fill my head) by @darethshirl / mafalda_157 on ao3
She gazed up at him, silent and calm, green eyes unblinking. Outwardly she was the very image of tranquility, her expression as unmoving as the surface of a vast clear lake. If any thoughts or emotions lurked somewhere in those depths there was no way to tell. - This veiled world will always feel muted. Still, Solas tries his best to communicate.
another spicy one, but playwithdinos has suchhhh a vivid style and there's just something so lovely and profound about it. my first introduction to her writing is this one, and her depiction of solas is fascinating i love it.
the switch by @playwithdinos / @dinoswrites / playswithdinos on ao3
Lavellan usually lets Solas take charge when they're alone, but she's back from slaying the Fereldan Frostback and she's not in the mood to bow to anyone. Fill for this kink meme prompt: http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/13696.html?thread=53207680
anddd another spicy one (anyone else sensing a theme here?), this writer is... wow. wish i knew their tumblr if they have one so they can know i'm gushing about them beyond my comment. this is a delightfully messy and complex examination of how solas/andruil/ghilan'nain might happen, and i'm absolutely enthralled by the characterization of andruil and ghilan'nain here - and solas as well!
Power, Intrigue, Danger and Sex by Hezjena on ao3
When Solas later recalled the evening, he liked to imagine it was the result of careful manipulation, a triumph of his skilled diplomacy and a delicious trickery where he allowed himself to be underestimated… rather than the result of too much ice wine and morbid curiosity. *** That time Solas accidentally-on-purpose has a threesome with Andruil and Ghilan’nain in Ancient Elvhenan.
okay, rosie's writing is So Good? i'm always super impressed by how she describes scenes and also just... the layers. seriously. the foreshadowing is always amazing. her handling of solas is sooo good and also? an extraordinary artist? too powerful tbh <3
In the Blue Morning by @rosieofcorona / rosieofcorona on ao3
He wants to stay like this forever, wants the sun to forget to rise, wants the castle to sleep and sleep in an endless dream. But the light keeps coming, every moment. The castle will wake, and they will see. And this will cost them, in the end.
i could so easily keep going tbh but this is already getting long and i might've passed the @'ing limit already lmao
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bondagebimbo · 10 days ago
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Any chance we can still submit a video?
no.
you will be blocked if you do so.
and a winner for the game has already been chosen and contacted.
I won’t be doing this game again. it backfired quickly and I was incredibly unimpressed by most of them, honestly. maybe it’s just because the first person I picked as a winner literally killed any of the interest i potentially had in them in less than 4 messages and made me not want to continue, or just because some really weren’t that great. I think it’s the former, honestly, because that was a HUGE mood killer tbh. :/ like I’m sorry, I don’t care how nice your dick is, if you kill my interest in you THAT fast, I can’t continue to deal with you 🫠
so I chose someone else who had submitted and contacted them as the winner.
because like, I’m sorry, I can’t just do the things I offered as prizes if you’re dishonest with me from the first fucking message, because that hit home too hard and I’m just. I won’t tolerate it. you can go ahead and lie about that girl all you want but isn’t funny that her blog existed before I called you out on it and then when you backpedaled, suddenly the entire blog from your pinned post, about another woman owning your dick, is GONE? or blocked me because you asked her to because I must be ‘some crazy bitch that won’t leave you alone’ and you blocked her so you want your girl to, as well? nah, BOTH of y’all are shady and I’m just. I bet her URL that you took off your blog briefly is back in your pinned again now that I moved onto the next person to give them their win, huh? oh, but no, of course, you’re not involved together at all right? yeah, I don’t think so.
I’m not risking having the words ‘homewrecker’ thrown at me, honestly, as if y’all on here aren’t nasty enough to me for no fucking reason when you have the option to be cowardly enough and hide behind anons or throwaway accounts, all because you decided to cheat on someone for a fucking tumblr submission game. pathetic. disgusting. lower than fucking scum. you do shit like this? you deserve to lose that person from your life that you’re hiding these things from, just for being a fuckhead. appreciate what you fucking have and stop fucking off and around with other people and dragging them into your shit.
yeah. so. not a good idea to do a game like this, my bad, y’all.
no more dicks in my askbox from here on.
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killerandhealerqueen · 1 month ago
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Tagged by @dangermousie (cuz why not, I'm bored)
1. why did you choose your url?
Cuz I got very obsessed with Killer and Healer (and I'm still very obsessed with it) and basically became like...a very recognizable figure in the fandom and a lot of my friends in the fandom called me the "queen" of Killer and Healer (because of the amount of fics and headcanons and other things that I posted about the drama) so... yeah
2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.
No sideblogs. Just this bad boy
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
Oh jesus...I've had about...3 accounts? My first account was a friend's tumblr that they didn't want anymore so I took that over then deleted that one. Then made a second one but that one I also deleted...and then made this one. My friend's tumblr I took I think was back in like...2011, 2012? I've been on tumblr for a long time, it's just that this blog was made in 2018 so it doesn't seem as long but trust me...I was here for a lot
4. do you have a queue tag?
Oh fuck no
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
Fandoms, mainly
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
My icon changes depending on my mood but this one I chose because I wanted to change things up a bit
7. why did you choose your header?
Again, wanted to change it up a bit. I go between phases of different gifs that I use for my header. But the one I'm currently using, my darling @seonghwacore made it for me for when I reached 1k followers (and for my birthday, I believe)
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
Oh fuck I have no idea
9. how many mutuals do you have?
Fuck if I know
10. how many followers do you have?
1238
11. how many people do you follow?
435
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
Nope
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
A lot
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
With another blog? No. With an anon? Yes
15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?
I hate them. I do not like to be guilt-tripped into reblogging something. It will make me a) not reblog it and b) hate you
16. do you like tag games?
Yeah, I do. I just gotta remember to fucking do them
17. do you like ask games
I love asks in general, so yes
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
Oh, @dangermousie is famous to me, hands down. @storge too
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
No
20. what is the last song you listened to?
Be Prepared - Voiceplay
21. what are you currently watching?
Elementary and The Mentalist. I forgot how good Elementary is and I've never seen the Mentalist but it was my mom's favorite show and I understand now. Also Women in Blue on Apple TV
22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?
Savory
23. what is your current relationship status?
Single
24. what is your current obsession?
Killer and Healer. It's an ongoing obsession, tbh. F1 was an obsession for a little while but with how the sport is going rn, it's giving me the ick so...I've taken a step back. Still a little obsessed over Logan Sargeant tho. My american boy
25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?
Girl, I could not tell you
Tagging: @clawbehavior @sunriseverse @breitweisergallery @okifyouinsist @ahhhnorealnamesallowed
@theotherwhybietoldmeso @hyperbolicgrinch @kpopfantasywriter @mishathewtf @friendlynbhddevil
@evil-moonlight and anyone else who wants to play
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main-koi-aisa-geet-gaun · 2 months ago
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Heyyyy! How's sem2 going? I know ur not online that much here but I hope ur busy growing! And sath mai taking care of ur self, also just a gentle reminder u are loved here 🫶 and I miss you 🥹
hiiiii swap!!! ive missed you too !!
felt sooo good to see your sweet message (its the first thing i saw when i opened tumblr lol)🫶 thanks for checking in on me 💗💗
hope youre doing great and coping well with college and stuff ❤️❤️
2nd year(ik you meant sem 3) has been soooooooooo busy and hectic... have my midsems in a few days.... itna saara syllabus cover karna hai 😭😭😭 its been pretty manageable ab tak toh(except for dsa, uski lab is killing me 😭), but i want to change my situation from 'barely surviving' to 'happy and thriving' (tbh idek if this makes any sense lol)
i miss my tumblr friends sm, but mujhe tumblr kholne tak ka bhi time nahi milta kyunki insta chalane mein hi itna time waste ho jaata hai like, my brain knows insta is bad for me aur itni baar toh insta chalake fomo bhi hone lag jaata hai aur mood bhi kharab ho jata hai lol fir bhi i keep going back to it... for the past few weeks ive been trying to use my phone lesser, which is kinda working BUT mera goal ye hai ki agar main social media use bhi kar rahi hoon, toh let it be something thats actually not that time consuming, like pinterest or tumblr instead of yt or insta (basically brainrot kam kar doon apna 😭)
also ive been doing kanha seva at home, thats going well!
im so sorry if this became a rant lol... but it felt soo good to be able to talk to you!! hope to be more regular in the future hehe...
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