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sometimes you just need to draw Narinder and Lamb exploring each other's bodies in the sky and go to sleep
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I finally gave lil more importance to the trend.
Extras down below as always (cw: suggestive narilamb):
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do listen to DEATH by Melanie Martinez, it fits them so well
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small test refs that I made in haste, i think i'll stick to this style for quick drawings lol
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Lamb in a bunny suit trend (ft scythe and veil props, thanks Narinder)
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Doodles of my favorite worm
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god, the graying beard, it's so fucking over for me
i need him more than i need air, i fear. i'm just a girl who is gnawing at the bars of my enclosure and chewing on him like a toy
edit: THE GLASSES OMGGG
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HOUSE IN NEBRASKA â Logan "Worst Wolverine" Howlett x Mutant!Reader AO3 version Spotify Playlist
WORD COUNT â 15.4k SUMMARY â Reader gets roped into saving the timeline with ex-best friend Deadpool, coming face-to-face with a variant of Logan that uproots memories she'd long suppressed, only to find that this version of him lost her in his universe, too. TAGS/WARNINGS â she/her pronouns (minimal usage), female anatomy, flashbacks in italics, angst, enemies to lovers, alcoholism, smoking, arguments, canon typical violence, cursing/bad language, Deadpool breaks the fourth wall like twice, canon behaviour worst wolverine, religious trauma, honda odyssey scene self-insert, eventual smut, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, dirty nasty talk (logan has a filthy mouth), mentions of cocaine literally once. smut is marked after last divider if you want to skip plot but i'll kiss you if you don't!
Youâre smoking a cigarette on your porch when the snowfall happens. It would be normal, you think, if it werenât for the fact that itâs dead in the middle of July. A group of nanas, elbow-deep in the community garden soil, glance up to the sky and begin muttering prayers amongst themselves.
Youâve lived in this safe house for a while now, up in the mid-west of the Appalachian mountains, surrounded by thickets of pine and opposite a bubbling creek. You grew up somewhere near here and the locals welcomed you back with open arms and a plateful of hot food when the humans started the cullingâ when the X-men fell apart.
It has plenty of benefits. The smell of lavender, for one, and your cat, Kevin, loves chasing the pigeons, even if heâs not the most successful hunter. The locally sourced produce means you can avoid the poisoned food theyâre distributing in supermarkets.
But, most importantly, the humans canât find you out here. Youâre lucky the gossip of your⊠genetics, so to speak, doesnât leave Sunday morning church.
Things have been different, lately. The trees are shedding down to dust, people are disappearing at an exponential rate, and there was a time when youâd be on the front lines helping them. Youâre on the edge of your seat waiting for the call â a learned habit â but itâs never coming. Charles is dead. Logan is dead. The X-men are dead.
The snow is warm when it lands on your skin. It feels like rot, and your solitude suddenly feels lonelier and more daunting than ever.
You reach to take a sip of your steaming coffee when you hear movement. A zipping strobe light crosses your vision and you flinch against the intrusion, but youâre not afraid. Youâve surely survived worse.
Stryker worse.
A comical and confused looking figure pops out from an orange portal, scratching the crown of his head over the red and black mask on his face. You sip your coffee as you observe him nonchalantly.
He notices you and approaches with a dainty point of his finger.
âUm, excuse me, maâam.â
âWell, well well,â you suck on your cigarette with a frown. âLook what the cat dragged in. Got a new suit, Red?â
âWhat, arenât you happy to see lilâ old me?â
âYouâre on my property,â you say matter-of-factually. You had a shotgun stowed away inside for emergencies, but frankly, you never had to use it. You were enough of a weapon yourself. Consider it insurance, if the corn-syrup theyâre poisoning ever finally makes it way to you.
You glance sidelong at the old ladies in their aprons, clutching one another with stern gazes in your direction. The deal was that you didnât bring trouble their way â but it looks like trouble found you. You narrow your eyes and silently hope that this doesnât turn messy, as it so usually does where heâs concerned.
He sighs heavily and continues approaching regardless. You analyse his stature and take notes of the weapons on his holsters and back. You reckon you could take him if it came down to it, but he didnât seem threatening.
You and Wade used to be friends, but after isolating yourself from grief, you donât necessarily consider yourselves to have a close relationship. More often than not he brought trouble; hence your defensive response.
âListen, ants in your pants, Iâve done this about a hundred times,â he huffs and places a hand on his hip, waving the device around in his hand. You take another drag of your cigarette and perk your brows before rising to your feet.
âIâve had my spleen shattered by the Hulk, about eighty stab woundsâŠâ
He rambles on about his collection of injuries and you tilt your head with amusement. Must be another one of his famous mental breakdowns. This might be entertaining, at the very least.
ââŠYouâve even killed me a few times in different universes!â He claps his hands together. âAnd frankly, I was just going to let you die here. Youâre not even canon, so you wonât be missed, but you appear to be of use to me. So I need you to come with me. Now. Please.â
What on Earth was he talking about? What on Earth was he ever talking about?
You bark a laugh. âI ainât going anywhere with you, Red and Black.â
âWill it change your mind if I add a cherry on top?â He asks with a dry laugh before nodding enthusiastically. Manically. âYouâre coming. Kevinâs life depends on it.â
âWhat are you talkinâ about? Are you threateninâ my cat? Thatâs a new low, Wade.â
âIs it? Is it really? I am certain that I can go unfathomably lower.â
You roll your eyes, half-way through turning your back on him.
âYou see this?â He holds out a gloved hand and catches some snowflakes. He rubs them between his fingers and they spark and fizzle before dusting away. âThatâs not snow. Thatâs time death. Our universe is dying, womp womp. Stay here, sure! By all means, butââ
Your cat launches out of the door behind you, chirping and meowing to himself before promptly dashing through the portal and disappearing into the blurry void on the other side.
âWell. Looks like he made his choice.â
He sighs and lets you process. You take the final swig of your coffee and huff a breath.
âYou literally have nothing left to lose. Trust me. I know. Iâve seen all kinds of you and, believe me when I say this, even though I love and cherish this version of you, thisââ he points two fingers at you and gestures towards you judgmentally. ââ isnât the best look on you, honey.â
You want to dismiss him. You want to turn him away, to tell him to get lost. Grief swallowed your heroism whole, turning it into a barren wasteland of bitter indifference. You used to be bright, full of light, love, and hope.
Fucking hope. Itâs the reason Logan left you to help Charles in the first place. You just wanted to settle down and disappear, to live a normal life. You lost an intrinsic part of your being when he died; you remember feeling it before you heard the news. Fucking hope.
Hope, hope, hope. Nana Rose chants on about it when she clasps your hands with her wrinkly ones, dragging you to church in spite of your atheism.
âAnd hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts,â she chants, basket of flowers on her hip. âRomans 5:5. Youâd do well to do your readinâ, tulip.â
You didnât and donât ever usually believe a word she says, but you can feel her faith. Itâs solid as steel, pouring out of her like blotting light through the gaps in the trees. Undying. And youâll be damned if you let anything happen to her.
A flicker remains. You imagine what Charles would say to you now, how youâd hang onto his every word and heâd bring out the better of you. You truly do have nothing left to lose, except maybe your cat. Over your dead body.
âCome ooon,â he pokes his fingers together. âFancy being a hero? One last time?â
You take the final drag before stubbing the cigarette out on your railing. âAlright, Red. Iâll bite.â
âThen suit up.â
Your friendship with Deadpool was a rocky one. There was a time you told him youâd be there for him through everything, and you technically owed him one for saving your life that one time even though your ego insists that, to this day, you couldâve taken the fight. Thatâs what heightened cellular control of your body is for, right? Accelerated healing? Empathetic abilities? Faster reactions, enhanced strengthâ you get the point.
Though you didnât realise that returning the favour meant following him through space, time and alternate dimensions, you were a person who stayed true to their word, and you hated being indebted to someone.
So, here you were, waking up in the middle of a barren wasteland that was seconded as a cocktail soup of abandoned universal relics and heroes ripped from their worlds, accompanying your ex-best friend to restore your timeline.
But, one thing about paying someone back, it doesnât technically count if they lie to you about the terms and conditions of the agreement. Only a few mere moments after you come to, dazed by the impact and the blaring wobbly heat of the sun, you rise to watch as Deadpool takes six blades of Wolverine to the chest.
Youâre still a little dizzy when you stagger to your feet, head throbbing, as youâre trying to process if, yes, thatâs exactly what you were witnessing.
âLetâs see you grow your fuckinâ head back!â Wolverine growls.
Deadpool holds his hands up in surrender. âWait, wait, wait! I can fix it! I can fix it!â
The man in yellow hesitates. âFix what?â
âWhatever it is that you did, whatever made you so badââ Wade pants, catching his breath. âThose pricks at the TVA, you heard âem. They have the power to end my universe, but they also have the power to change yours. We get back there, and we can fix your world! Together. I promise.â
You stumble from around a pile of debris, clutching your side as a rib pops back into place. Wolverine sniffs the air, face blanching as he snaps to look in your direction.
When you first make eye contact with him, it feels as though youâre resurfacing from water after being on the precipice of drowning. Your heart leaps into your throat, adrenaline boils your veins and your lungs burst with relief of breathing.
âTroubles always gonna find you, baby,â Logan murmurs, kissing his way up from the pulse in your throat as he rocks against you. âBut so am I.â
Youâve never loved him more, you think, than when he fucks you slow like this. A snowstorm rages outside the cabin, howling full of glass and needles and rattling the window frames. His skin against yours burns a fire within you, warming you to the bone. He sweeps hair away from your face before capturing your mouth in his, swallowing the sounds of your pants, threading his fingers between yours.
You could stay here forever, you think.
Your fingers shake from the whiplash of the memory. You instinctively reach towards him but you catch yourself. This was the husk of him, not your Logan. The realisation feels akin to ripping open a haphazardly sewn wound right down to the fatty yellow flesh, raw and needling and sore.
Heâs broader than you remember. Hair a little darker, wrinkles a little deeper. He smells of alcohol and cigars â that much is familiar. Thatâs him, flesh and adamantium bone, living, breathing. Alive. The physical shell of him prods alive parts of your inner circuitry that you werenât aware had fallen asleep, like intrinsic nerves untangling within you.
You can sense that he knows you, too, based on his emotional response. His noise is extremely loud, spilling out of the cracks of whatever wall he thought heâd successfully built up. This version of Logan certainly had a lot of secrets.
âYou,â he whisper-growls. Itâs almost intangible, leaving him like a breath. He pulls his blades promptly from Deadpoolâs chest and kicks him backwards.
Youâre starting to understand that faith thing that Nana Rose was knocking on about when he strides towards you, large and tall. You certainly werenât a believer by any means but youâre sure youâd be the picture of unbridled worship for the way youâd fall to your knees for him.
Your empathetic power lurches for him, seeking him out as you used to â like a flower to the sun â but it physically recoils from the aura that it touches. It was all your Logan but not in a familiar way. Itâs tainted, dark, and it tastes like copper and screams.
All colour melts from his face and his body shuffles in a way that indicates discomfort; a dry swallow, tense shoulders and flicking eyes that refuse to meet your gaze. He omits feelings of guilt and shame that linger on the tendrils of your empathetic powers where you connect with him.
You try to zone Wade out, squinting as you attempt to navigate through his cobweb of emotions (seriously, this guyâs aura could do with a cleanup) but itâs like wading through black-tar syrup, feelings negated by years of alcohol-abuse and avoidance. Eventually, you feel something that makes your guts twist and your legs shake: a version of romantic attraction and recognition so carnal and raw that you begin to blush, a warmth that creeps its way up from your belly. A breath escapes you like a punch.
âWell. This feels awkward.â Wade glances between you both and places his hands on his hips. âWhy do you both look like youâve seen a ghost? Do I need to call Egon Splegler and tell him to bring his ghost sucky-sucky vacuum? Oh my godââ He slaps his hands to his face and gasps sharply. âCross-Universal lovers?â
As inappropriately timed and tone-deaf his one-liners could be, youâd never been more appreciative of an icebreaker. You think you couldâve stood there for an hour, frozen in silence, staring at a reanimated corpse, basking in the noise of his emotional frequency like an addict finally getting another hit.
But then the noise stops, swallowed up like a heaving black hole had split and atomised the tension whole with its unforgiving jaws. He closes himself off from you. Connection severed. You reach out and feel a cold nothingness similar to how, on particularly rough nights, youâd try to reach out to him after his passing. Youâd clung onto his plaid shirts until the smell and emotional residue wore off of them.
âYou with the mouth? To fix things?â
You nod tightly. You donât think you can find your voice in front of him.
âLetâs just keep moving. And stay out of my head,â Logan grumbles, crossing you with a cold shoulder and mumbling something incoherent under his breath. When heâs made enough distance, you turn to your old friend with a cold glare.
âOoh, brr. Anybody else feel a chill?â
âWade.â
He twists towards you comically slow.
âYou. Motherfucker.â You begin approaching him. He backs up slowly and holds his hands up.
âI knew if I told you the plan you wouldnât have gone along with it!â
âAre you insane? You think multiversally grave-robbing my fucking dead ex-boyfriend is going to save our timelines?!â You yell.
âTechnically heâs not deadââ
You push him. âHe should be! He- he wasâ he is!â
âWell, this one isnât!â He pushes back. âAnd Iâm not sorry for finding a loophole in the plan to fry â not just mine, mind you â but both of our timelines! Did you happen to forget that? No multi-dimensional depressed Logan? Alright then! No more Kevin!â
Heâs talking about your cat. Anger flares.
âDonât you dare bring Kevin into this.â
âYou forced my hand!â He yells, mouth moving alien-like behind the mask on his face. âBesides, Iâm not doing this for meââ
You blink your eyes closed. You might reach the end of your tether if he said her name one more time. Youâve been in his company for approximately an hour, and heâs already drilled a hole into your brain with his incessant yapping about the âlove of his lifeâ.
âWade, you need to move on. She clearly has.â
âI will not move on from the only people I love in this fucked up dimension. This isnât just for Vanessa.â He shoves a glossy photograph in your face. âThis is for you and blind Al and even that shit-head teenager and her pinkie-pie girlfriend! They deserve their timeline!â
âI literally donât care about any of those people!â
Even yourself?
âWell, I do! I have people I care about! Arenât you supposed to be a hero? God, all of you X-men are so depressing. Is it the suits they make you wear? Is that it? Canât breathe in that thing?â He continues poking at you. âLoosen up a little!â
You straighten your posture and the black leather of your suit crackles. You swat his hands away as he continues poking. âAlright! Cut it out!â
âThink of Nana Rose.â He draws a heart with two fingers. âLittle old ladies like her deserve a chance, donât they?â
And even though humans had done nothing but wage war on your kind for simply existing, you still felt obliged to help them. Besides, the thought of other mutants â kid mutants â dying when you hold the chance to save them in the palm of your hand? You were hardly managing as you were now. Youâre not sure youâd be able to live with yourself if you kept going like this.
âAlright, alright!â You huff, heart pounding in your chest. You look over at where Wolverine kicks at rocks in the distance. âFucking hell, Red. Holy fuck.â
You say it again, only this time you scream it into your hands.
âYou shouldâve warned me.â
âAre we good?â
âAre we goââ You scoff. You kick his ankle, feel the bones shatter and crunch beneath your foot. He lets out a short, high-pitched yelp. âYou deserved that.â
âMotherfuckermotherfucker⊠oh youâre lucky I feel bad about lying to you or I wouldâve twisted your milk bags off for that I swear to God.â He sucks in a breath. âIâll allow it. Just this once.â
âMhm,â you murmur, walking forward. âThat doesnât sound like an apology.â
He limps after you, floppy ankle dragging a line in the sandy dirt. âIâll be dead before you ever get one of those out of me! And too bad I canât fucking die!â
The difference between this Logan and your Logan is stark, minus the uncanny resemblance. Your Logan was soft and gentle, but this version is sharper and blade-edged, and your fingers bleed when you try to touch him.
Staring at him feels like throwing up a mirror and analysing yourself, a picture of what happens to a person when they make all of the wrong choices. Youâre embarrassed, almost. This isnât a version of you that you ever want him to know, but at least you can say youâre trying.
Him, on the other handâŠ
âAre we going to keep up the awkward silence?â You snip, awkwardly adjusting the restraints on your wrist.
Youâve been in Loganâs company for all of an hour, and yet accompanying one another through literal time purgatory didnât seem to irk any feelings of obligation from his end. Heâd been cold-shouldering and ignoring you the entire time, even though you kept catching him staring.
âI have nothing to say to you,â he spits, wriggling uncomfortably against a very unconscious Deadpool. âYou got us into this mess.â
You frown, small. You can feel hatred pouring out from him, leaving a sickly bile taste in the back of your throat. Youâve lived through enough hate for being a mutant in your lifetime, enough that youâd become accustomed to tuning it out of your radio channel, so to speak, but something about it coming from the man you loved makes it a little harder to swallow.
Youâre quiet when you next speak. âDonât make this more difficult than it has to be.â
He shoots you an indistinguishable look and grunts to himself. Such a Libra.
âSo, whatâs the story here?â Johnny asks with a sly grin. He turns to you with a glimmer of mischief in his eye. âYou two know each other?â
You cringe. âSort of. Last I remember, he wasnât this much of a prick.â
âOh, trouble in paradise, huh?â His grin grows. âThatâs a shame. Not often we get girls like you in the void.â
âSeriously?â You say with a side-eye.
He shrugs, all blue-spandex biceps and charming smile. âNo harm in trying.â
Your breath hitches as Cassandra approaches, wide eyes and tilted head aiming for you purposefully. Logan swiftly angles his body so that heâs standing in front of you and she halts as a delighted, implicating smile stretches across her face. Your chest constricts, tendrils of yearning coiling tighter. It appeared to be muscle memory: his instinctual, protective flinch. Just like your Logan used to, despite how capable he knew you were.
âNow, Iâve always wanted a Wolverine.â Her finger moves along the crowd. âKnew Iâd get one eventually. But I never even dreamed of having you.â
Cassandra zips behind you and her slender fingers delve into the crevices and valleys of your brain, lips intimately close to your neck and ear. Wolverine snarls territoriality, but heâs unable to move. The urge to reach for him is overwhelming.
âDo you know that there are so few universes where you exist?â She whispers, caressing your deepest memories. âI even asked the TVA about you, in exchange for keeping the peace. I was disheartened when I found out one of you died. But youâre here! Now, I donât believe in fate, but this almost feels like it was meant to be.â
You flinch when she uncovers a particularly fond memory, one you hadnât been aware was so prominently in the forefront.
In the back of his truck, a cigar between his teeth, hands sliding under your shirt. In another world, he wouldâve taken the time to do this properly, but living in a school didnât exactly grant two consenting adults any privacy.
âWaited long enough for this.â
He kisses up from your bare foot to the sensitive skin of your inner knee, lips scorching against your skin.
âLoganâŠâ
âEasy,â he murmurs, leaning away for a moment to remove his plaid overshirt, leaving himself in that white vest you could eat him alive in. âStill wanna take my time with you.â
Youâre desperate, he can tellâ can probably smell it, too, but youâre far too humiliated to ask him if he can.
Logan wasnât your first by any means, but with the way you were near trembling for him truly felt like youâd be losing all of your innocence in the back seat. Youâre shy and quiet, everything he isnât. Youâre infatuated with him â have been since he burst out of the lab in his grey hoodie â and have daydreamed about what it would be like to have him. You certainly didnât let him know that right away, and with whatever shred of composure remained around his relentless flirting and teasing remarks, you tried to play hard to get.
Until you couldnât. Because you werenât. He had you, and with every fibre of your being, you wanted him to.
She pulls her hands from your brain with a shlick sound, rubbing her fingers together as if relishing in the produce of your memories. She grabs a rag from her pocket and smirks knowingly.
âYouâre thinking of that at a time like this?â She laughs all witch-like. âWorry not; your secretâs safe with me, naughty girl.â
Wade lowers his voice and leans towards Logan. âShe was thinking of me.â
âI can read between the lines, darling,â she potters on. âThis isnât about a sexual fantasy. Deep down, you just want to be wanted. To be loved.â
She steps back and extends her arms. âAfter all, youâll never amount to anything in your world. Itâs such a shame that your Logan left you so abruptly. Did he break your heart?â She giggles. âWhy suppress your powers in his name? For a level-five mutant, you certainly donât act like one. You can do that, here. Freely!â
Your worn thin tether creaks with exhaustion like a dilapidated bridge under pressure. There isnât a singular fibre of your being that desires to be stuck here, but the small, angry teenage voice in your head would love nothing more than to just let go. Youâd been containing your powers for as far as you can remember, and they'd always been as irresistible as the promise of Pandora's box.
But you know how that story ends.
You take a momentâs pause. âI have no interest in livinâ in a garbage dump.â
She tilts her head and neatly clasps her hands behind her back. âDo you forget where you come from? I think we both know who lives in a garbage dump.â
âYou motherfââ
Youâd just managed to escape Cassandraâs lair with Aliothâs foggy storm fangs nipping at your ankles when you ran across the abandoned diner.
Youâre ravenous, wrist aching from how you dig at the freezer-burned ice cream. Itâs your least favourite flavour but youâve been running on fumes for the past day or so, so youâll take what you can get, though you begin to lose your appetite when you remember Johnny, and how Cassandra had zipped the skin from him like popping a blood-filled water balloon.
Something is rumbling beneath your surface. A distinct, constant buzzing, like two atoms slowly building up radioactive energy. Youâd asked for none of this, and would certainly give Wade a talking to when the time called for it, but, for now, youâre trying your hardest to make this as easy a process as possible.
Your male counterpart, however, was doing exactly what men generally do. He was making this fucking unbearable.
Logan sits across from you, brooding, fingers gripping the medicinal bottle as if itâs anywhere near appropriate to be drinking. He throws you a particularly lingering glare when he notices you staring, but refuses to maintain eye contact when you look back at him
You toss the tub and spoon across the table with a sharp clatter, your patience collapsing.
âWhat? Canât even look at me?â You snap. His eyes look exhausted when they finally meet yours. Wade, being the characteristic little fucker he is, pulls a delighted, shit-stirring grin as he glances between the two of you as if watching a tennis match.
Logan gasps as he finishes taking a drink. âNot much to look at,â he says, wiping the back of his mouth.
The words twist like a fist in your gut. For a moment, youâre rendered too stunned to respond, like heâd tossed a flash-bang toward you. His casual cruelty digs deeper than you care to admitâ but youâve had far too much therapy, too much psychological training, to know heâs deflecting.
But you wouldnât doubt for a second that there was a more beautiful version of you somewhere.
âWhat, you comparinâ me to someone?â You ask. You can tell youâve struck a nerve by the way he goes for another sip. âThat it?â
He grimaces.
âDo I make you feel sick? Am I making you feel sick?â
He stares at you hard, but silently. He takes a long swig of the rubbing alcohol and you cringe as his throat bobs. His silence and feigned indifference light a fire of indignation.
âYou know, youâre not the only person whoâs suffered. Whoâs lost people.â
He laughs like what youâre saying is funny. âYeah, right, bub, you have got no idea what loss is.â
âOh, you are such a fucking cunt,â you spit, slamming your hands on the table as you rise to your feet. âYou know what, Wade? Youâre right. I canât do this. So fuck you and fuck his timeline and fuck every timeline that had anything to do with it! Iâm done.â
A wave of uncontrolled psionic energy born from your anger blasts from you upon your final words, slamming them back into their seats and sending the cutlery, nearby debris and weapons flying. The neighbouring windows smash, shattering explosively and sprinkling outside of the diner.
The simmering stops, replaced by a stifling emptiness.
âI wasnât finished with that!â Wade cries, crouching down to scoop up what remains of the gelatinous spam.
You pause for a moment, glance at your hands, and then grab your jacket in an aggressive fit.
Wade whines your name, halfway through gagging down a forkful of cold spam off of the floor (one of which resonates with a particularly distinct crunch, but you donât stay to find out whether or not he just truly ate glass), and he doesnât attempt to get up and follow you as you storm off.
You take a heaving breath of hot desert air when you leave the diner. The sandy breeze tousles your hair, and with the prickly energy of an incoming nervous breakdown, your legs kick and youâre running.
âStryker got you, too?â Logan asks, eyebrows flicking up.
You donât look him in the eye when you nod. You cross your arms and slouch a little, caging your heart in. Stryker â the ex-militant with a fetish for experimenting on mutants â had held you captive for several years. Heâd brainwashed you into using your empathetic abilities for nefarious purposes, like seducing other mutants, and sometimes important political and militant figures.
âYou like me?â He questions, quieter this time.
âNo⊠no, not like you,â you reply. âI donât have the fancy bones. I heal fast, but I wouldnât survive that kinda procedure.â
âAh.â
âI donât remember everything. Just bits and pieces. Feelings, mostly. Nightmares,â you explain. He nods understandingly. âIâm always on edge.â
âYou always seem so calm,â he observes. âNothing seems to phase you.â
âI have to be. It took a lot of pain and damage to get this level-headed,â you respond quickly. âIf I donât manage my emotions, all the emotions that I receive, touchâ it all comes out. Explosively. It has to come out somehow. I could hurt people.â
âFunny. School therapist ânâ youâve got the most issues,â he teases light-heartedly.
âYou got no idea, lumberjack.â
You hated killing.
Youâre on your knees, arms and hands and chest soaked crimson, sobbing. Theyâd come out of nowhere, the raiders, and they were hungry for something you couldnât quite put your finger on. All you know is that you felt their need, their desperation, their willingness to do anything to get it.
The flash of harrowing horror someone feels before they die isnât a unique experience. It simply varies in strength â sometimes itâs a feather-like touch that careens over you, a shuddering realisation that theyâre taking their last breath, and sometimes itâs like a crack of lightning. Bloodied hands gripping your biceps with fear in a final attempt to survive. Theyâd rather cling to you than die alone.
You hate killing. Especially this up close.
You donât cry for them. You donât even cry for yourself. Itâs a small emotional space where they cry vicariously through you.
You were black-out when it happened, you tell yourself, and suddenly regress to the student you used to be, sobbing on your knees in front of Charles as he tries to teach you serenity and control after an outburst had caused you to kill a nest of birds. Heâd done it for Magneto, he saidâ so he could certainly do it for you.
You should have meditated more.
The sound of a car gurgles somewhere behind you, but you havenât the energy to look or use your powers to seek out whoâs approaching and what their intent is. Youâre exhausted enough that whatever they wish to do with you â turn you to processed dog kibble, send you back into the jaws of Cassandraâs lair, kill you â whatever. Just let it happen.
A slamming car door and then the crunching of boots on gravel.
âYouâre easy to track.â A pause. âYou look pathetic. You done throwing your tantrum?â
Logan. Of course, itâs him.
âLeave me alone, prick.â
âAs much as Iâd like to, you and the Mouth still have to hold up your end of the bargain,â he quips, folding his arms across his broad chest. âNow get up.â
You glare up at him and his arms unfurl as he notices your tear-streaked face. His expression drops, softens, before it quickly ticks back up into an incredulous, irritated look.
âAre you crying?â He asks with a scoff. He pauses before dragging his hand down his face and rubbing his scruffy jaw. âJesus Christ. Get up. Get in the car.â
âI ainât fuckinâ around, Logan. Piss. Off.â
He mumbles a string of incoherent curses and turns on his heel. You think, for a moment and a breath of relief, that heâs truly going to give up on you and leave. He could finish this without you. Itâs easier this way.
Instead, a thick bicep wraps around your middle and youâre flung over his shoulder with a yelp.
âQuit your squirminâ.â
âThen put me down!â You yell, thrashing in his grasp. He promptly ignores you, unphased by the jabs you strike at his back. You quickly unsheath the small knife from your jacket sleeve, winding up your arm before you drive it into the muscly pocket by his kidneys.
âOw! Cheap shot, you little fucker!â
Wade sighs and clutches his hands in front of his chest romantically. âOh, the newlyweds.â
Logan dumps you into the front seat of the car carelessly, grumbling something as he slams the door shut and applies the child locks. Petty motherfucker.
You rub the sore spot on your tailbone where you landed on a seat buckle funny. You want to bite your tongue but youâre flared up.
âWe should switch places. Iâm a better driver than you are.â
Logan doesnât bother looking at you as he starts up the ignition. âJust shut up.â
âYou can go on ahead and smoke a cat turd in hell, then.â
âSo fuckinâ immature. Grow up.â
âMom and Dad can you please stop fighting!â Deadpool cries out from the backseats.
You just roll your eyes, resigning into your chair and folding your arms.
At some point along the ride, Wade falls asleep, snoring soundly to himself. Youâre silent in the front, drumming a beat on your knees, awkwardly thinking of something to say. You have the impulsive need to fill the silence, even if you were trapped in a crappy car with a man who had made it vehemently clear that he irrevocably hated you.
âSo, if they can fix your world, whatâs the first thing youâll do?â
Logan rips his eyes towards you. âWhat did you say?â
âI said when you get back, whatâs the first thingââ
âNo, no, noâ before that.â
You hesitate, wondering if youâd landed yourself in a trap based on the sharpness of his tone and the way that anger crackles off of him like static lightning.
âIf⊠they can fix your world?â
He slams his foot on the brake and you just about catch yourself before your nose goes flying into the dashboard. Wade is thrust out of the front window, smashing through and promptly falling unconscious underneath a tree, neck broken at an awkward angle.
Your eyes widen.
âWhat do you mean: if?â
âThatâs what Wade saidââ
âI donât give a fuck who said what. He promised me he would fix thingsââ
âWell, I didnât promise you shit!â
He laughs, low and devoid of humour. âYou donât have a clue if they can fix things, do you?â
Well, no. Youâve been operating on a hunch the entire time and had half come to accept that you might be stuck in the TVA void forever. Who knows how much time has passed elsewhere?
Regardless of the fact you truly had nothing to do with whatever came out of Wadeâs mouth, you werenât about to let Mr. Worst Wolverine shit all over him and his plan to save his friends.
âIs it really that far-fetched? We made an educated wish!â
Something dark flashes across his face. You can feel hate pulsing off of him in dizzying waves, doubling with each passing moment.
âYou made⊠an educated fucking wish?â
âWhatâs your problem with me, huh? Got a stick up your ass?â You reach for the car door handle, but he snaps up your wrist, holding it high. âYou better let go of me right now, old manââ
âOr what, huh? Gonna run away again?â He threatens.
âYou geriatric, alcoholic motherfucker. Iâve done nothinâ but try and be civil with you and you treat me like Iâm the one who ruined your life! I donât know what version of me you knew but you need to stop actinâ like I ainât worthy of being here because of what you did!â
âListen, Iâll tell you what my problem is with youââ he leans closer, eyes roving over you with a disgusted look on his face. âI mean, you are a ridiculous, emotional, immature crybaby. I have never met a sadder, more attention-seeking, foul-mouthed little bitch in my entire life and that says a lot because Iâve been alive for more than two hundred fuckinâ years.â
âAnd Iâll tell you, that bald chick was right about one thing: you will never amount to anything. Youâll never save the world. You couldnât even save a relationship with me. Iâd say you shouldâve died alone but itâs one of Godâs best jokes that in this universe you didnât seem to fuckinâ die, except that ones on the rest of all of us!â
He breathes heavily when his rant finishes. Youâre taken aback, jaw slack, eyes warm with the onset of tears born from shock.
âWhat, you got nothinâ to say, empath?â
You suck in a deep breath, blinking slowly as you flick the emotional switch off in your head.
âIâm going to hurt you now.â
He snorts. âOh, are you?â
In a swift manoeuvre, you raise your slap him around the face. You knew better than to punch a metal skull, but you still wanted him to sting. His eyes slit, nostrils flaring in challenge.
âThat all you got?â
âNot even close,â you snap back, knuckles whitening from the way you curl your fingers into your palm. âYou want to play this game, Logan? Fineâ but Iâm not gonna sit here and keep on provinâ myself to you. Iâve had enough of your Christ-born-again superiority complex. Did you forget that youâre the worst Wolverine?â
âOh, yeah? Well, at least Iâm honest about who I am. Look at youâ youâre a fuckinâ joke, pretending to be some hero in a suit made for a dead team,â he barks back, voice rising with each word. âI donât need your bullshit âwishesââ you should know, Iâve buried people for less.â
âYeah, because youâre so perfect, ainât that right?â You yell, voice cracking from the power of your anger. âThe almighty Wolverineâ the unkillable bastard who canât seem to hold onto anythinâ good in his life! Youâve had centuries to get your shit together, and look at youââ You look him up and down with disgust. ââstill just a bitter, lonely, broken man, takinâ it out on everyone else and a goddamn bottle.â
His eyes narrow, muscles in his jaw twitching as he appears to fight and keep his temper in check, but thereâs an obvious crack forming, the dam of his unbridled rage near overflowing.
âYou think you know me, huh?â He murmurs, voice a deadly whisper, the calm before the storm. âYou donât know a goddamn thing about what Iâve been through. Youâre nothing but a lost woman playing make-believe and hiding in the shadow of a fuckinâ merc. Youâre pathetic.â
Something inside of you breaks. âIâm pathetic? Look at yourself! Youâre so goddamn desperate to feel anythinâ that youâll lash out at everyone around you for some semblance of warmth. Thereâs a fine line between hate and love, after all! You think youâre so strong because you can heal, because youâve lived forever? Yeah, rightâ youâre the weakest, most cowardly man Iâve met in a loong time.â
The blades between his knuckles shoot out with a shink! For a moment, you think that heâs going to attack you. Hellâ you even hope that he will, just to diminish some of the unbearable, stifling tension. Instead, the blades retract with a deep breath, and he grabs you forcefully by the collar of your suit, yanking you so close that you can feel the heat of his breath on your face.
His voice is low and rough, each word dripping with venom. âGo on, keep psychoanalysing me. You wanna talk about cowardice? How about leaving people who need you, just because itâs easier to run? Better yet, how about the fact that you abandoned the X-men to hide away in the mountains, huh?â
Your eyes widen with recognition.
âYeah⊠Wadeâs got a big mouth. Told me everythinâ. Youâre no hero. Hell, youâre just a selfish, reckless hillbilly who failed at pretending to be human.â
Your heart palpitates in your chest, each word coiling and slicing like blades in your intestines, but you refuse to let him see how much it hurts. Instead, your lips curl into a cold, bitter smile, one that doesnât quite reach your eyes.
âAnd youâre just a sad, angry old man who canât handle the fact that heâs lost everythinâ. Go ahead: keep pushing people away! Keep hidinâ behind that anger oâ yours! Itâs got you this far, ainât it?! Iâve treated kids with trauma worth double yours and they were nothinâ but kind and selfless. I wonât let you project your failures onto me. Iâm done with this.â
âYeah, why donât you walk away!â
The argument reaches a fever pitch, tension sizzling in the air between you. Youâre so close, glaring at each other with so much anger, so much resonating heat, that it feels like somethingâs going to break. And then, suddenly, it does.
Before either of you can think, you close the gap between you, lips crashing against his. Itâs not gentle, itâs not softâ the kiss is rough, violent, a clash of lips and fury. His grip on your collar tightens, and for a moment, youâre both frozen, caught in the shock of whatâs happening.
But then something more fiery in nature than anger ignites, and he kisses you back just as fiercely, and maybe a little more desperateâ like heâs trying to pour out all of his pain and resentment, into this one moment. Your tongues slide against each other and his teeth catch against yours as he groans into your mouth. Your hands thread through his hair, yanking him closer as if trying to hold onto something real and tangible in the chaos of the kiss, reeling from the sudden spinning in your head. Itâs angry, raw, filled with all the things youâre not capable of verbalising: grief, love, yearning, reconciliation.
The result of a painful reunion.
The world falls away and all thatâs left is the taste of him, the feel of his lips against yours, rough and demanding. You hate him right nowâ hate him so much that you canât help but want him. The sheer intensity of it all overwhelms you and makes your fingers shake against the nape of his neck, but you canât pull awayâ not now, not when youâve tasted the wine. Youâre too far gone, caught up in the storm of his intoxication, fantasising about ripping that yellow and blue suit off of him and riding him until thereâs nothing left for him to regenerate.
And then, just as suddenly as it started, the bubble of the moment bursts with the sound of slow clapping coming from outside the car. You jerk back from Logan, breath coming in ragged gasps. Logan is equally as stunned, still tight-gripping your collar as if he doesnât know what else to do with his hands.
You both see Wade sitting up, hands together, eyes wide as saucers as he takes in the scene.
âWhoa, whoa, whoa. Did I just wake up in a telenovela?â His voice is laced with amusement. âI mean, I know you two clearly had some unresolved sexual tensionâ but this? Oh, this is gold. Please donât stop on my account, just let me get the camcorder first!â
Youâre too stun-locked to respond, lips parting and closing as your brain scrambles to formulate a response as youâre still reeling from what just happened. Logan (for once) seems equally as lost for words, his typical scowl replaced with a look of confusion.
âShut up, Mouth,â Logan barks, but thereâs no real heat behind it. There canât be, really, not when youâve both been caught red-handed. He releases your collar at once.
Wade, however, is having none of it. âOh, no, no, no! You donât just get to brush this off like itâs nothing! That was a full-on makeout session! I only interrupted because I thought you were about to rip each otherâs clothes off.â He sighs wistfully and crosses his legs. âHere I was thinking that you two hated each otherâ but I guess all that anger was just foreplay, huh?â
Your face burns with a mixture of shame and something else youâre not quite ready to admit. âWadeâ cut it out.â
He grins, not deterred in the least. âOh, but Iâm loving this. All that pent-up aggression finally coming to fruition. Itâs beautiful, truly.â
Logan shoots him a look that could melt iron, but Wade just simply shrugs, unfazed. âHey, Iâm just saying what everyoneâs thinking. Everyone being me.â
âWade,â you warn through gritted teeth.
âWell, unless you want me to watch (which I am not opposed to, by the way) maybe next time the two of you should get a room,â he tilts his head. âOr, you know, a couples therapist.â
He then turns to address Logan directly.
âAnd I mustâve missed the AO3 tags because I did not peg you for the enemies-to-lovers type, Mister. Who knew all it took was a bit of hate-kissing to get the sparks flying? Donât look so ashamed! Iâm just jealous I didnât get to you first.â
He stumbles towards the car and collapses into the back seat. âNext time you wanna bump uglies, just ask for some privacy! You can save me the broken neck!â He gets himself comfortable, man-spreading and laying his hands on both of your shoulders as you stare dead-forwards, unable to look at each other.
âGosh, youâre both so tense.â He begins massaging. âLookâ props to you both for not letting all that angst go to waste. This is a safe space, and thereâs no shame in a little hormone-inducedââ
âOh, for Godâs sake,â Logan interrupts, revving the car back to life and shoving his prodding hands away. âJust be quiet back there.â
âFine, fine. Iâll keep the commentary to myself. But just so you knowâ got that bad boy playing on repeat, right here.â He says, tapping the side of his head.
You bury your face in your hands. This was going to be a long car ride.
As the car starts moving again, you muster the bravery to risk a glance at Logan. His expression is hard to read but his energy thrums with uncertainty. The boiling hatred seems to have dialled down to a gentle simmer, mostly redirected towards himself rather than you. Thereâs something elseâ something that wasnât there before. You rip your eyes away quickly, mind racing.
For somebody so in tune with emotions and the literal ability to manipulate them if you so desired, you were horrendous at navigating your own. You donât know what this kiss meant, or if it even meant anything at all.
If thereâs anyone you didnât expect to come across in the void, itâs X-23â Laura. Sheâs taller, now, with hair down her back, but sheâs still got that stern, mean look on her face that intimidated you the first time you met her.
The weak front door squeaks when you open it a crack. A girl, maybe in her small teen years, blinks up at you.
âCan I help you?â You ask, wiping your flour-dusty hands down on the front of your cooking apron.
âAre youââ she says your name.
You attempt to swing the door shut, but she jams it with her boot. You flick your eyes up, glance around for any signs of threats, and then lower your gaze to her. You wrap your cardigan around your mid-section.
âI donât go by that name anymore. Who the Hell are you, kid, and what do you want?â
âIâm here about Logan,â she says, matter-of-factly.
Logan. A name followed by your own, both of which you hadnât heard in years.
âHeâs not here, kid. He died years ago.â
âI know,â she answers, unwavering. âI was there when it happened. Your name was the last thing he said.â
Youâd let her in for a glass of sugary sweet tea that day, but once stories were exchanged you told her not to come back. She respected your wishesâ she said she simply wanted to put a name to the face, to get closure, but youâd felt her desperation. Perhaps she was seeking out respite, or family, but you were in no position to be sharing your space with someone who could put another target on your back.
After introductions were made with the others who had been ripped from their timelines (Elektra, Blade and oh my god a Gambit variant with muscles so huge he could pop your head between his biceps) you excused yourself to sit outside. The buzzing emotional energy made your collar feel a little tight around the neck, your head a little fuzzy with noise, so you decided to reignite the small campfire a few yards away from the safe-house and rest there, instead.
You hadnât realised you were being followed.
âItâs not safe here.â
âItâs not safe anywhere, Logan.â
He looks defeated, raising and clasping his hands behind his head.
âI gotta leave, baby.â
âIf you leave, I ainât lettinâ you back,â you whisper. âYou donât heal the same anymore, Logan, and you promised meââ
âI know what I promised,â he rebuts, but not angrily. You can already see on his face that heâs made his choice. Heâs not coming to you to discuss it. âBut I owe it to him. To Charles. He gave me everything.â
âSo then what did I give you?â You ask. âNot a home, not my love, not everything?â You slam the tea towel down and turn away from him as the tears form. Heâs quiet, perhaps processing everything, but youâre too impatient.
âIf youâre just gonâ get up and leave, do it now. I wonât beg you to stay, Jimmy.â
âI love you.â
You donât say it back.
You wake up with a start, damp clinging to your forehead. You immediately sense another presence and glance over to see Logan watching you with a steady gaze. His expression is soft and almost reverent at first, but his facade hardens with a quick tick of his jaw.
âYou talk in your sleep.â The bottle in his hand sloshes as he takes a drink. âNightmare?â
You sigh frustratedly when you realise itâs him. Of course, itâs him â his energy reeks of whiskey and self-loathing. You prop yourself on your elbows, massaging the sore spots on your temples where sleep fog forms.
âI canât even get some rest without you botherinâ me? Youâre leakinâ self-hatred everywhere.â
âQuit hogging the fire then.â
âFuck you,â you murmur, but itâs without bite.
A moment passes before he fills the silence again. âWhat are you even doing out here, alone? Trying to get yourself killed? Pretty stupid.â
âDo you know how hard it is to sleep when nobody shuts up?â
His brows knit. âTheyâre all dead asleep.â
His hand runs up and down your back.
âCanât settle?â He asks after you sigh.
âNo.â You turn so youâre lying on your back, shoulder touching his, staring up at the ceiling. âEveryone is feeling so loud. Itâs like a frequency I canât turn off.â
He hums. âTheyâre grieving, I sâpose.â
âEven you and you always said you hated the guy.â You shuffle to lie on your side, facing him. You place a hand on his bare chest. âI can feel it, you know.â
âI didnât hate Scott. Just found him⊠obnoxiously irritating.â
âTough guy.â You giggle and stroke his cheek. âYouâre turninâ soft, old man.â
He pulls you flush against him and presses a kiss to your hairline. You lay in verbal silence for a while, soaking up his presence (god, you were so in love), but youâre interrupted when he abruptly sits up and grabs the white vest he discarded somewhere near the bed.
You lean on your elbows. âWhere you goinâ?â
âLetâs go for a ride.â
âWhat?â
âYou canât sleep here. Letâs go somewhere quieter.â
âBut Charles saidââ
âScrew Charles. You cominâ or what?â
He hadnât told you he loved you yet, but at that moment you felt it.
And so you do, clinging to his mid-section on his motorcycle, head stuffed into the helmet he affectionately forces you to wear. Itâs a warm night in New York, soupy with heat, but the further you get away from the compound with him by your side the more you feel you can breathe.
ââCourse, you donât understand.â
You reach for the small pouch on your hip and retrieve a cigarette. You light it between your lips, taking a seat a few paces away from him, hands still shaking a little with the aftershocks of the night terror.
âSince when did you start smoking?â
You perk a brow. âIâve always smoked.â
He seems to realise something and simply shakes his head before returning to the vice in his fist.
âRight.â
You stare at him for a long, passing moment, before pulling out your lighter again and offering it towards him. He perks a brow.
âI know you got a cigar in there somewhere,â you say. He pauses, sighs, and then retrieves a thick cigar from one of the pouches on his suit. You lean closer, flick the lighter, and cup your hand to protect it from the breeze, shamelessly glancing at the dancing glow that bathes his face amid the firelight. You feel the urge to kiss him again, and when his eyes flick up to yours, you think for the briefest second that he wants to kiss you, too.
Swallowing, you collapse your lighter and clear your throat. You sit quietly, smoking and drinking in a silence only negated by the distant sound of chittering bugs around you. Once youâre finished with your cigarette, you toss the butt into the fire.
âWeâre infiltrating tomorrow morning.â
He laughs dryly. âYeah, good luck with that.â
Your lips tighten into a thin line. âWe wonât make it without you.â
âSure you will. Iâm not him, you know,â Wolverine grumbles, slugging another shot of alcohol.
You scrutinise him from across the log. You wonder if he feels as pathetic as he looks.
âNoâ you got that right,â you answer. You pry the liquor from his hands but the grip he releases from the neck of the bottle must have been a mercy on his part because you knew he was extraordinarily stronger than you. âHe was much braver than you.â
His eyes flicker from the flames to you as you take a long swig.
âAlthough probably just as stupid.â
A pause. Crackling and popping firewood fills the silence.
âBut, he was a hero. And so are you.â
A beat before he spits a dry laugh, âwhat gave you that idea?â
You give him a once over and offer a half-smile. âThat suit, for starters.â
He looks down at himself like heâd forgotten he was wearing it and wipes away a stray speck of blood from the bright material that youâre sure you might be responsible for.
âWhat, you like it?â He grunts.
You canât help but smile. âYellow suits you.â
âThis is all I had left to remember youâ them by,â he says, tone turning more sombre as he reminisces.
You decide itâs not the time to make another jab, so, instead, you play back and forth with the bottle for a while until the alcohol stops stinging your throat.
Something small shatters inside of you when you watch him muster the strength to look into your eyes, and his look a little glassy.
âDid you love him?â
Woof, that needed a healthy drink of courage to answer. When you hold his gaze, thereâs a hollowness to his expressionâ an unasked question. Was there truly a version of him worth loving?
âYeah.â You wipe the back of your hand across your mouth to cover the crack in your voice. âYeah, I did.â
Heâd insisted he hadnât wanted you around yet heâd kissed you and now followed you to where youïżœïżœïżœd been sleeping. That had to count for something, so you extend your arm and gesture the bottle towards himâ an olive branch in the form of shitty Jack Daniels. Your fingers touch when he accepts it and the brief glimmer of eye contact you share sends shivery energy zipping between you.
âI loved him,â you repeat, as if convincing yourself. A repeated balm to soothe the pain of letting him leave.
âHeâs an idiot for leaving you.â
You bite back a sob-laugh, imagination caught somewhere between wondering who youâd rather beat up more: him, or yourself.
âMaybe Iâm an idiot for not followinâ him.â You sniff deeply to push back the incoming sob-induced mess. âNot that he woulda let me.â
He hums resignedly.
Clearing your throat, you tuck your hands between your thighs. Swiftly moving on. âWhat was Iâ she like?â
He takes a long drink and sighs thickly when he comes up for air. He looks down at his hands when he talks as if choosing his words thoughtfully and carefully.
âStrong, smart. Stubborn. Far too fuckinâ stubborn.â
You force a smile over the flinch of pain in your chest. âGuess we got that in common.â
You reach up and twist the dog tag around your neck, feeling for the ring youâd slipped around the chain. You were never married legally but were in all the ways that mattered. Your heart aches for the brief moment of domesticity you shared with him. You expect him to be finished, but he once laughs, a smile cracking on his face.
âShe loved kidsâ had a soft spot for the weird ones.â He squints and rubs at the flesh between his knuckles where the blades typically protrude. âPut me in my place. Stood up for what was right.â
His words strike a chord in your heart, playing the familiar tune of yearning and guilt and grief. A swelling sensation rises from your stomach and youâre not sure if youâre going to scream, cry or throw up.
âWere youâ?â
âIn love with her? What, like you canât tell?â He interrupts, face hardening. Another drink. âIt doesnât matter. We argued one night and I refused to follow her back to the school, âbout the same time the humans went mutant hunting.â
Logan takes a moment to catch himself.
âWhen I came back, shit-faced from the bar, I realised Iâd gotten my version of you murdered, along with the rest of them. Laid up like a fucking log pile. Thatâs what loving me got you.â
The gruesome imagery sours the liquor in your stomach. You push the nausea down with a hard swallow.
âIâm sorry.â
âWhââ He jolts back, face pinched. âI got you killed, and youâre fuckinâ sorry?â
âThereâs a world where you didnât make that choice. You know, Iâm not proud of who I am, either,â you answer, softly. âAfter you left and I lost you⊠I got bitter, stopped pulling my punches.â
âYou never liked hurting people.â
âI didnât.â You take a deep breath, willing away the warmth that pools behind your eyes. You quickly regain composure with a short cough. âWhatever woman youâre comparing me to, I stopped being her a long time ago. Like you told meâ Iâm no hero.â
He grunts, looking like he regrets saying that now. Checkmate. Youâre not what either of you expected or yearned for in one another, but maybe youâre exactly what you both need.
âYou know, your accents thicker.â
He says it as if to draw a line of separation, but you take it as an invitation. Your head swims from the alcohol, and against what probably is your better judgement, you inch closer to him until your knees bump against each other.
âThatâs what I get for hidinâ in the mountains. Got adopted by a scary old lady and her church friends. I reckon she rubbed off on me. Youâd like her, I think,â you tell him fondly. Thereâs something wistful about it, imagining a life with him. You grieve a life you never had but somehow, in his company, the melancholy loosens its grip.
âMaybe we got lucky,â you add flatly.
He lifts the bottle with a dry laugh. âYou have a very funny idea of what lucky means, bub.â
âWell, I wouldnât be so sure. Yâsee, they didnât get lucky. They died, ânâ we lost each other,â you explain, glancing up at the stars as if either version of you would ever be in heaven, as if it was as loving enough as a motherâs womb to stretch wide enough to allow space for mutants.
God probably hated you just as much as they did down here.
You lower your head onto his shoulder. âBut, weâre still here. Maybe there was always space in my universe for you.â
âYouâre drunk,â he observes flatly, but he doesnât move.
âA little.â You get more comfortable against his tense bicep and close your eyes. âHumour me, why donât you?â
He sighs, but itâs gentle. âJust for a while.â
âGood, because youâre not very good at keeping your feelings quiet. I know you like this.â
âKeep that to yourself.â
You sigh, eyes remaining closed. âWe ainât gonna talk about it, are we?â You ask, in reference to the kiss.
âNope.â
A high-pitched whine resonates in your ears, vision blurring as if lying underneath a rippling river current. Paradox has just explained the stakes to you â to stop Cassandra, somebody would have to lay down on the wire and make the sacrifice play. This wasnât a matter of regeneration anymoreâ it was being ripped apart from the seams, atomised.
It just so happens that your cat, Kevin, has been loving his little journey around the TVA. Cheater.
âYou wonât survive it,â is what you say in response to Logan offering himself up for the job. What you really meant was: I donât think I can survive losing you again.
âI know,â Logan answers. His eyes drip to where you palm at the slow-healing wound on your side, courtesy of the Lady Deadpool variant. Youâre winded, running on fumes, and know youâre in no position to start throwing yourself out there as a suicide volunteer. Youâd never make the journey, let alone succeed in your venture.
âThatâs why itâs gotta be me,â Deadpool interrupts, peeling the mask from his face to address you both. âNeither of you asked for any of this. You were right. I lied. I lied right to both of your faces â just to get you to help me, and you did.â
âYou didnât lie,â Logan replies, throwing you a glance. âYou made an educated wish.â
He reaches into his pocket and slaps the bloodied Polaroid of Deadpoolâs friends against Wadeâs chest. The gesture is a final, silent acknowledgement of why any of you are here in the first place, and everything thatâs led to this moment.
âI got nothinâ back in my world,â he explains, the sharp arrow of his words striking a sting straight through your heart. âLet me do this. For you.â
You could see that this meant more to him, that he would only deem himself worthy and die a peaceful death if he could do it knowing he saved at least one variant of you. This is more than just a mission. This is his only chance to redeem himself, and you know youâre in no position to start trying to convince him that youâd have him either way. Fuck redemption.
Youâre parallel from one another, standing just outside of touching distance. It was a cruel existenceâ reaching out and never quite being able to hold on. Itâs inevitable, the pull you feel. Youâre dictated by his gravity but cursed by the narrative.
Your chest rises and falls with shallow, laboured breaths as you attempt to process whatâs happening, what heâs asking you to let him do. The pain in your side ebbs only from the comparative pain of watching another version of the man you love sacrifice himself for you.
His voice is a quiet whisper. âGive me this.â
But I love you. The words are there, hiding behind your clenched teeth, gnawing at the bars like a feral animal caged in the reminder that this isnât â shouldnât be â the man that you love.
Something shifts and as youâre running on the delirium of your battery running low, healing resources drained, you decide that you donât actually care to make the distinction any more.
Youâre in no condition to fight; you barely had the energy to argue with him, let alone stop him. But you canât just let him go.
One wobbly step forward. You poke his chest, mustering whatever energy remains to express your feelings in the only true way you know how. âIâŠâ you stammer, but you suddenly canât find the words.
His hand reaches up and he splays yours flat against his chest. Faintly, buried deep behind the armoured layer of his suit, you feel the distinct thunk, thunk of his heart. He exhales deeply when your empathetic energy transmission reaches the other side. Your eyes connect, and even through the sharp whites of his mask, you can feel the psionic pulse resonating between you twoâ strong enough that the wound on your side begins to sew itself together.
âI know,â he whispers.
And you believe that he does.
He nods shortly, releases your hand, and turns on his heel. You collapse against the control centre, eyes needling through the camera footage, desperate to watch the final moments and know that his sacrifice was worth it.
Itâs about the same time that Deadpool yanks his mask back on and barrels down the hallway after him.
âWade!â
You glance back at the party as you creep towards the apartment door to leave. Your consciousness has only recently slipped back into place, having hovered somewhere above your body for the entire time you witnessed your friends atomically ripped apart, only for them to return mere moments later.
You think it mightâve been witnessing Wolverine sweaty and shirtless that was finally the last straw for you. Youâre not sure youâve recovered since.
You thought you were being sneaky about your departure, but a flat hand reaches from out of view, splays and then holds the door closed.
âYou sure I canât convince you to stay?â Logan asks, voice slow and tentative.
âI ainât runninâ this time, I promise,â you answer. He rests his arm on the beam above him, making him appear even taller and maybe even more imposing. Your pulse quickens as you look up at him, trying to find the right words, ones that you hope wonât give you away. You nearly squeak. âI umâ justââ
He arches a brow, a hint of a micro-smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. He shifts, getting closer by just a fraction. âYeah?â
Trying to keep your distance is proving to be immensely hard when heâs gotten himself this deliciously close. His energy tastes of confidence, a stark contrast to the self-loathing only a mere few days prior. Itâs magnetic. If you make eye contact now, youâre not sure youâll be able to control yourself.
The atmosphere crackles with tension, like the static energy right before lightning strikes. His gaze is intense when you look at him, and with the way his eyes glance purposefully down at your parted lipsâ
Jesus. Pull yourself together.
You gently pull away from him and feel the spell of the moment dissolve. âI just⊠need time.â
Recognition flashes on his face, as well as a tick of disappointment, but he seems to understand.
A beat, then he taps the door before stepping aside. âAlright. Donât be a stranger.â
Wade bursts around the corner, arms wide and voice booming. Vanessa hangs off of his arm, white teeth gleaming with mischievous joy.
âWhoa, hey there, lovebirds! Whatâs going on hereâ a secret rendezvous? Looking for somewhere to sneak off? Should I cue the romantic music or just give you two some privacy?â
You jump in surprise at his sudden entrance, flinching away from Logan as if youâd been caught doing something you shouldnât. Loganâs expression shifts from whatever tender moment was brewing, spell broken, to a mix of exasperation and resignation, jaw tightening.
âWade,â he grumbles, voice sharp, but you can acknowledge thereâs a level of begrudging affection beneath the steely surface. âTiming, as usual, is impeccable.â
âUm, actually, I was just leavinâ,â you answer, tugging on your bag.
âWHAT!â Wade exclaims, face dropping. âWe havenât even gotten to our favourite part yet!â
You tick a brow. âOur favourite part?â
âThe cocaine part,â he says, matter-of-factually.
âWade, that was one time,â you pinch the bridge of your nose. âIâm sorry. Thank you for inviting me. I just canât miss my flight.â
Dogpool jumps at your ankles, whimpering and chewing on the hem of your jeans. You give her a gentle scratch on her head, deftly avoiding the lick of her impressive tongue. Wade scoops her up, holding her against his shoulder and kissing her affectionately on her wet nose.
âYou, ah, need a ride?â Logan offers.
Your heart stutters at his chivalrous attempt. âOh, um. Thatâs okayâ I called a cab. So.â
That was a lie. You hadnâtâ not yet. You just werenât sure if you were going to make the right decisions if you were alone in his company for an hour. Probably wouldnât make it to the airport without fighting or crying or making stupid choices.
He rubs his jaw. âRight.â
âIâll⊠see you around?â
âI better!â Wade yells, using two fingers to gesture that heâs keeping his eye on you as Vanessa yanks him around the corner gleefully.
A magnetic tether â or red string, whatever you want to call it â seems to strain when you walk away from Logan. You feel the pull in your chest, a fluttering of electricity, but you swallow the urges and ignore the way they scratch like glass on the way down.
You call an Uber, squeezing your bag tightly for a source of comfort as you crowd yourself into the back seat. You spare one last glance at the apartment and think for a brief moment you see a silhouette of someone watching you from the balcony, but they slip away into the light before you can discern it.
You know, though. Of course, you know.
You expected relief when you arrived home, but, instead, the aching, gnawing black hole in your chest seems to grow exponentially. You go through the motionsâ feed your cat, tend to the garden, eat the food with no appetite, go to Church.
The fixture of Jesus pinned to the cross gives you pause for the first time. You wonder if he was a mutant.
You werenât sure how much of this âtimeâ thing you were going to need to heal or make a decision on where you and Logan stood after everything, but only after your second night, sleepless and alone, do you start to doubt that this will be an easy process. You communicate like you know what youâre doing, but you havenât stopped shaking since he kissed you, like a newborn foal traversing ice.
You want to do things right. Youâre not trying to replace any missing pieces or live up to any expectations he might have of you. The girl he knew seemed to be a softer, sweeter (less traumatised) version of you, and you worry that youâd be constantly comparing him to a ghost of himself.
The rain lulls you as it patters on the window by your bed, but sleep doesnât take you.
You hear thunder, you think, and wonder if the chickens are frightened in their coops. However, the distant grumble continues to grow, reverberating through the floorboards of your rickety cabin. As it creeps closer you discern that itâs not a brewing stormâ but the growling engine of a motorcycle.
Awash with a deep sense of knowing, you throw yourself out of bed and knot a silk robe around your middle. The sound of the engine dissipates, replaced only by the hammering rain and the rushing pulse in your ears when you tear your door open.
You see himâ all leather jacket slick with rainwater and tight jeans, brows pinched against the onslaught of the weather as he dismounts his bike.
Logan.
When your eyes meet, thereâs a palpable shift in the air, and the storm, angry as a howling spirit, mirrors the turbulent emotions within you. You donât speak, you donât think, you just act.
Barefoot, dressed in your slip of a robe, you race down the short path and meet him halfway.
âLogan? Logan?â You call out. âWhat are you doinâ here?!â
âHad to see you,â he calls out between strides, voice nonchalant as if what heâs said was obvious.
Youâre closing the distance. âThatâs a dayâs ride, and the weatherââ
Instead of letting you finish, he grasps your face, kissing you suddenly and with a reverence so sincere that your knees feel gelatinous and weak. His thumbs brush away the raindropsâ tears? âthat drip over your crystallised lashes. His touch is both grounding and electrifying; the warmth of him pressed against you is a stark contrast to the chilling downpour.
Your fingers curl against the front of his jacket, clinging with equal fervour as if itâs the only thing keeping you anchored from floating someplace else. The strength of his body crowds over you, arm sliding down to capture you by your waist as you lean into him, syrupy-decadent and entirely reliant on him to keep you upright.
The kiss deepens, his tongue sliding over yours tasting both bittersweet and intoxicating in equal measures, like cigar smoke and peppermint gum. Thereâs a distinct sharpness of liqour and you wonder if he had a shot (or bottle) of courage before coming here. You breathe deeply against his skin, smelling rainwater, musk and gunpowder; your senses are completely overwhelmed by him and youâre not sure that anything could pull you away.
The red string knots.
When you both eventually take pause, gasping for air as the rain continues to pelt, his eyes lock with yours. He radiates relief, desire, and a raw vulnerability that makes your heart ache.
âYouâre freezinâ,â he murmurs, peppering kisses against your lips, your cold nose, and pulling one of your hands to his face to peck along your palm. You feel dizzy in his embrace, drunk on his lips.
âYou should come inside,â you whisper, âbefore the neighbours start askinâ questions.â
He quietly nods, kissing your fingers before following you inside and ducking away from the rain.
Once inside, he shakes the rain from his hair with a flick, eyes immediately roaming around the innards of your respectable (tiny) house, the size of him immediately proportionally shrinking the interior. He absorbs your surroundings, chivalrously pretending like he canât see every curve of you in that wet material.
You lead him towards the heath, lighting a small fire to help dry you both off. You leave, pottering around to gather some towels for your hair, and arrive back to see heâs peeled off the top layer of his clothes, leaving him half-exposed, his back an impressive marvel of rippling muscle. He glances at you over his shoulder.
Youâre lost for words, but canât just stand there ogling him. âUm, I donât think I have any spare clothes thatâll⊠fitâŠâ
When he turns to face you, his rain-slick torso shines in the firelight, skin glistening on the taught muscles of his biceps as he accepts a towel from you. Your words lag, entirely distracted by the realisation of one thing when you glance down at his v-line and dark, coiling hair that creeps down into his jeans: youâre absolutely going to have sex with this man.
You mightâve decided that when you watched the way his jeans clung to him when he dismounted his motorcycle, but thatâs beside the point.
âThatâs alright,â he answers, towel slung over his shoulder, eyes roving shamelessly over the damp, silky robe that clings to your silhouette effortlessly. âDonât need âem.â
Your mouth dries when he steps closer to you, head angled, lips centimetres apart.
âLoganâŠâ you breathe, tone edging toward a warning.
He presses against you, tilting you back. âTell me you donât want this, and Iâll stop. Iâll get back on that bike and Iâll leave.â
You creep further away, trying to catch your breath. âIââ
The words donât manifest, simply because you donât have it in you to lieâ to deny yourself of this.
He cages you in against the wall, shrinking you underneath his frame, eyes narrowed and dark as they search for yours through lowered lashes. âTell me you donât feel somethinâ, and Iâll walk away. You wonât see me again.â
His bare-chested proximity was overwhelming you. Youâre acutely aware of every inch of his skin that touches yours, pebbled nipples hard against his warm flesh, stubbled jaw nuzzling against your neck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. You feel like a teenager again, anxious and hormonal, a ball of puppy fat and unrequited crushes. The space between your thighs positively aches with heat, throbbing like a second heartbeat.
âI canât⊠I canât tell you that I feel something.â
He leans back, lips quirked with a flash of disappointment.
You blink up at him. âLet me show you instead.â
He ticks an eyebrow.
You use your empathetic influence to decrease his heartbeat, relaxing him down to the bone. He sighs, nosing against your shoulder, arms flexing as he holds himself up against you.
âJust with a little influenceâŠâ you stroke your way up from the slow pulse in his neck to his jaw, capturing him swiftly. You use your mutation to increase his heart rate this time, hiking it up to an excitable level. His cheeks begin to flush, pupils dilated, lips parted with the anticipation of your kiss. His eyes darken with something intrinsically primal and hungry.
âDoes it excite you?â You ask, innocently.
He shakes his head all dog-like as if to regain control, canine showing as his lips curl into a wolfish grin.
âYouâre not the only one with⊠tricks. I can do that, tooâ in other ways,â he says, tone low and suggestive. He lifts a hand, tracing a knuckle over your exposed collarbone, shifting the soft material of your robe just an inch. Your breath hitches.
âYou know I can hear your heartbeat, right?â
You blush. You hadnât known that.
You challenge his eye contact, feigning self-control and authority. The stare-down has your pulse spiking, arousal ricocheting down your spine and sitting low and syrupy in your belly.
âYour heartâs beating pretty fast, too.â
Oh, Hell. Heâs got you melted like butter in a pan.
You rest your head against the wall, breath quickening. âIf we do this, I donât think Iâll be able to stop.â
âGood,â he growls. âI donât like to stop.â
The teasing back-and-forth game of teetering towards nearly touching finally gets the better of you. Youâre weak, as malleable as soft dough, so you invite him against your mouth with a sigh-wine and a tug on the nape of his neck.
He positively devours you, a hand palming at your breast as you kiss desperately and feverishly. The shoulder of your robe slips and youâre half-exposed, the slip barely holding itself together by the loose knot on your waist. He pulls you impossibly closer, the skin of his chest flush against yours as he reaches and digs fingers into the globe of your ass, hips twitching together.
You fumble between your bodies, yanking on his belt buckle and zipper impatiently. He pulls backwards, a wet string of spit snapping between your lips as you separate, helping you with steadier fingers to remove his jeans. With equal passion, he swiftly tugs on the waist-tie of your robe and discards it somewhere on the floor.
When youâre both bare, nude silhouettes sharp and soft in the firelight, he stumbles you over to the plush rug in the centre of the room. He nods to the couch.
âLegs up.â
You obey without hesitation, taking your seat and spreading decadently for him. He kneels below you of you, hips between your ankles, and gazes at you like a hungry, stalking animal. You feel impossibly sexy and dangerous.
He peppers kisses along the bone of your ankle first, foot hiked up onto his shoulder, only breaking eye contact to flutter his eyes closed. He moves along the inner length of your leg, pausing keenly against the sensitive partsâ the thin stretch behind your knee, the soft plush of your thigh. He lowers himself, scruff tickling between your legs, and then licks a molten stroke between your folds, parting you with his tongue and burying his face deeper.
You clench around his skull, mindfulness of your heightened mutant abilities long forgotten. You canât crush metal between your thighs. Or can you?
He groans into you, varying suckling and kissing you on your clit with long strokes on the blade of his tongue to your hole, lapping up the nectar of your arousal, fingers digging bruisingly into your hips. The sting of his grip and the relentless lave of his tongue entice moans from you, fingers raking into his hair for some semblance of reality grounding in your pleasure-lapsed consciousness.
Jesus. With as filthy as his mouth was, you shouldâve known he would be this good at eating pussy.
You come quick, orgasm pulsing on his lips. The burn of overstimulation seizes your muscles, writhing against his onslaught, but he shoves your hips down.
âNot done with you yet,â he murmurs possessively, leaning back to wipe his chin. âOn all fours.â
You bite your lower lip, suppressing the humiliation of the intimacy (vulgarity) of it. You turn, belly still clenching with the aftershocks, arching with the anticipation, whining moments later when his mouth reconnects with you. His hands palm at your ass, spreading you wider, tongue slipping dangerously close to the tight ring of muscle.
He slides a finger knuckle-deep, miming fucking you in a rhythmic pulse. His other hand massages you, thumb sliding down until you jerk sensitively against his nudging intrusion.
You feel impossibly full and tingly, clenching around the burn of his thumb and the velvet of his finger, second orgasm surging and bubbling over with your face pressed against the couch cushion, lips agape. Youâre slick, drip-dropping onto his cupping palm, every nerve in your body burning raw as his wrist works you through the pulses.
You turn over, relishing in the sight of his scruff glistening with the aftermath of your orgasm, his eyes dark with lustâ a hellish man, seraphic on his knees for you. Your insides clench at the sight as he quite literally shatters and redefines what worship means to you.
âTired already?â He hums, massaging your hips.
You perk a challenging brow. âThat was just the warm-up, old man.â
âAlright,â he seethes, sucking on his lower lip as he lifts himself up to your level. âShow me what you got then, baby.â
When you kiss, his mouth slides against yours, drenched with the taste of yourself. His cock steels against your belly when you pull him close, tip pearl-smooth with precum when you reach down and grasp him with a hollowed fist. The feel of him, heavy and warm in your grip, fans to life the flames of your briefly quenched arousal, and you hungrily pull him down onto the couch beside you.
Moisture pools on your tongue as you rub him. You spit on your hand before stroking him from the base to tip, lathering him silky with your drool. You tuck your hair behind your ears, narrowing your cheeks as you slide your mouth up and down his length, fisting the inches that remain.
âChrist.â He twitches in your mouth as you gently massage the warm weight of his sac, lewd sounds emanating from where your lips and tongue meet him. âJust like that. Good fuckinâ girl,â he snarls, gripping your hair in a fist at the crown of your head. Your engine purrs with his encouragement, revving with newfound enthusiasm.
You always gave as good as you got, after all, and youâre certainly not one to back away from a challenge.
His head lolls onto the back of the couch, thighs tense beneath you, cock hot and hard on your tongue. He growls when he comes, pulsing strongly in your mouth as you lap up the produce of his orgasm, salty and molten down your throat.
âFuck, fuck, fuckââ
âPut those regenerative powers to good use, why donât you?â You ask, working him through the over-sensitivity with your wrist. His eyes donât once leave yours, even as they glaze over and flinch from the pleasure burn. Thereâs a sharp look of challenging determination on his faceâ a grit of his teeth, the furrow in his brow. He remains hard in your hands and you perk an impressed brow. Not bad for an old man.
Thereâs a sweet moment of vulnerability when you crawl over him, a brief sobering in the cloud of lust, a clarity of two not-quite strangers and their shared grief and yearning.
Youâre not sure where this moment will take you, but the love of somebody scraping together the shards of a shattered heart for a brief time, even as it cuts their hands, holds you with a semblance of human connection so sincere that youâll carry it with you for a lifetime.
His thighs spread to accommodate you. You hold your fingers against the thick chords in his neck for support as you fumble between your bodies, slotting him against the catch in your cunt before lowering yourself entirely.
You hiss against the intrusion and he steadies you with a hand on your hip.
âEasy. Donât hurt yourself.â
You laugh-moan, laying your palms against the coils of hair on his sweat-shimmering chest.
âI can take it.â
The fire, intended to help dry you off, creates a heated environment that beads sweat on his temple. The only brain cells that remain coherent bounce around on lust in your skull â so you lean forward, lick the salty droplet clean, and sigh-whine as you begin rocking against him.
You fall into sync quickly, a desperate rhythm of desperate bodies. The delicious ache of him inside you is a masochistic thrill, similar to the irresistible press on a day-old bruise. The squelching shlick between your bodies is an animalistic reminder of your flesh and blood as you chase the pleasure, bouncing with vigour.
âChristâ I can feel youâŠâ his jaw clenches with resolve, fingers digging into the meat of your ass. ââŠdripping all over me. You wanted this bad, huh?â
âWanted to ride you in that fuckinâ Honda,â you straighten your posture, leaning away from him to hold your breasts, panting words between bated breaths. âThought it might shut you up.â
His hand snaps up and grabs you roughly by the chin. âMm⊠mouthy, arenât ya?â
You grin. âYou got no idea, lumberjack.â
He pulls your face against him, meeting your mouth halfway in a sloppier, fever-driven kiss that shoots arousal to your core like a shot of his favourite whiskey. Something feral stirs within you: a primal, cellular-deep need to connect with him further. Your empathetic power roils off of you like steam on a hot spring, surging into and merging with him until thereâs nothing but one feeling, a black hole of unquenchable desire.
You suddenly feel as though you are him: navel-deep, a throbbing muscle with an aching desire to dive further into the serpent-clutch of your cunt, gliding through tingly, honey-silk velvet, blades hanging onto a tether of self-control as they threaten to slide out of your knuckles in ecstasy.
Well. This was certainly new. Add âvoodoo sex dollâ to your list of mutations.
You gasp, ripping away from the kiss, your powers recoiling back into you at whip-lash speed, dizzying in its ferocity. His eyes meet yours with darkened curiosity.
âDid youââ
âI felt that,â he grunts, tongue darting out to roll over his lips. âIt always like that for you? Feelinâ so fuckinâ full?â
You half-laugh blissfully. âOnly the good times.â
âIâll show you a good time, alright.â
He isnât gentle when he manhandles you, forcing you into an arch as he repositions and aligns himself behind your thighs, one foot planted firmly on the floor, the other bent to accommodate the new angle. He reinserts himself inside of you with ease, hands palming your hips and ass.
You feel him nudging cervix-deep and you reach out, clawing at the couch to hold your jerking body steady against the relentless slap of his hips. Thereâs no need to tell him faster or harder when you feel the metal plate of his adamantium hips pressing against your ass, pounding and vulgar with the sound of sweat-damp skin-on-skin.
Itâs involuntary, the way you pant and cry out, intoxicated by the relentless drag and pull of his cock. He says something to you but you either donât hear him or have enough conscious space in your sex-drunk fog to process words and respond. He slides a hand down your spine and pulls on your hair until youâre upright, breath hot when it fans against your neck.
âWhereâs that mouth gone?â
You lick the drool from your lip, throwing him a glance over your shoulder. âFuck you.â
The half-lidded up-and-down look he gives you as satisfaction grows slowly on his lips turns your bones to jelly. âThere she is,â he growls back, offering a sharp slap of encouragement on your ass as he drops you back onto your front. You involuntarily grip around him, puffy clit throbbing with the almost-but-not-quite-there anticipatory build. âYou gonna come for me? Yeah? I can fuckinâ feel it.â
You slide a hand underneath yourself, reaching for the swollen nub with two fingers. Youâre overwhelmed with kinetic energy akin to a fizzy champagne bottleâ two more shakes until youâre ready to pop.
You hear a Snikt! behind you, accompanied by a throat-caught groan, and then the distinct ripping shred of blades impaling your couch. You finally come, hard, when you feel him throbbing inside of you, followed by the decadent syrupy flood of his orgasm filling you up. He ruts into you one, two three more final times, milking himself dry, before collapsing over your body in a sweaty heap, sparing you the weight of his metal bones with a forearm propped next to you.
Shared fluids drip to the couch when he eventually pulls out of you, blades retreating into his clenched fists. The fluffy innards of the chair spill out beside you, and, while you were in no financial position to afford another, the sight entices a humoured smile from you.
âSorry,â he says with a wince, helping you sit up when your unreliable legs shake beneath you.
âThatâs alright. Itâll make for an interestinâ story,â you retort, fanning yourself with a hand. You both let out a shared laugh, mostly from the relieved delirium of it all. After a beat, you lean into him, massaging a hand across his belly. âSo. We really doinâ this?â
His face softens. âIf youâll have me.â
You cup his face and kiss his cheek. âIâd take any version of you I could get.â
divider credits: @/vysleix and @/cafekitsune tag list: @bearwithegg, @uhlunaro, @sseleniaa, @jxssimae, @autumnsymphony
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Unchained Melody (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)
A/N: Get ready to cry again. Here is the *what if you and Logan went to a wedding together* request. Heavily inspired by "Unchained Melody." That is such a Logan song and you cannot tell me otherwise. ENJOY!
Summary: You and Logan decide to go to Rogue and Remy's wedding together, but you don't know what together means. Logan helps to clarify...
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI!!! SMUT, thigh riding, oral (f!receiving), fingering, unprotected PIV (wrap it up!), softdom!Logan, praise kink, cocky!Logan (literally), multiple orgasms, aftercare, Logan will do anything for you, afab!reader/f!reader, reader wears a dress, reader has hair (length/color/texture not described), feelings, so fluffy and cheesy, cursing, Scott is a little shit, def some grammatical errors, I think that's it.
Word Count: 4,452 I wanna dance with Logan
Maybe this was a mistake. You look at yourself in the mirror, turning around and around. You scan your face, check your hair, and smooth out your dress. Everything is in its right place. But, maybe, just maybe, this is all a mistake.Â
You and Loganâsomehowâcame to the decision that you would go to Rogue and Remyâs wedding together. As inâŠ
Together.Â
And yet, you werenât entirely sure what together truly entailed. Was this going to be a date? Or were you two simply going as friends? Friends friends friends. That god-awful, misery-inducing word youâre all too familiar with. Its meaning and restrictions haunted you as you got ready, and theyâre still plaguing you now. You are so incredibly sick of being just friends with Logan. You want moreâwant him, all of him. But you canât tell him how you feelâyou can never find the words or the courage.Â
So, youâre simply going to the wedding together, unlabeled out of fear of getting an answer you donât want to hear.Â
You slip on your heels, straightening out your gown one last time before heading towards the door. You take a deep breath, nervous beyond belief. You twist the knob, pulling the door open.Â
And there he is on the other side, fist clenched like he was about to knock. Logan. Heâs wearing a black suit, a bowtie tied perfectly at his neck. You watch as his Adamâs apple bobs in his throat. âHi,â he husks, his eyes trailing up and down your body. He smiles softly as he meets your gaze. He shakes his head in awe. âYou look beautiful.âÂ
âOh, please Iââ But he cuts you off, his hand reaching out to rest in the crook of your neck. âReally, you look beautiful. You always do.â Your breath hitches as his hand slides down your arm, his fingers intertwining with yours.
You take a deep breath, suddenly overwhelmed by the contact and Loganâs words. âYou look really great too,â you choke out, a slight tremble in your voice. âPerfect,â you say, and Logan tugs your hand, guiding you out the door and into the hallway.
Rogue had told you the wedding would be smallâjust her and Gambitâs closest friends and family on the grounds of the institute. Â
Logan leads you down the stairs and out the back door of the mansion. The first thing you see are flowers; an absolute abundance of flowers. There are lilies and irises, asters and chrysanthemums. Daises, tulips, every single flower one can imagineâadorning tables, white tents, and planted in pots and boxes. Itâs beautifulâa rainbow of colors and fragrances. The lawn has been transformed into a secret garden.Â
Logan guides you down a cobblestone path toward a trellis covered in vines and wisteria. Surrounding the trellis on either side are rows of white, wooden chairs. You and Logan walk to the front row on Rogueâs side of the aisle and sit down next to Storm, Charles, and Jubilee. You wave as you sit down. âYou look amazing!â Jubilee shouts, reaching over Charles and Logan to get a better look at your dress.Â
âYou look beautiful too, Jubes,â you say, motioning in her direction. Logan sits back, slipping his hand from yours and draping his arm over your shoulder instead. Jubilee notices the movement, her eyes flickering between you and Logan, a small smile playing upon her lips. She winks at you and settles back into her seat.Â
Footsteps sweep through the grass as people find their chairs. You struggle to ignore the warmth of Loganâs arm around your shoulder and the way it makes you feelâthe soft circles heâs drawing into your bare skin. Itâs like he needs the proximity, needs the touch.Â
You can feel Logan lean in, his lips at the shell of your ear. âYou are the mostââ
âWow,â a familiar voice interrupts Logan. You turn your head, and thereâs Scott, with Jean just a few steps behind him. âDidnât expect that.â He raises his brows and cocks his head to the side.Â
âYou need something, bub?â Logan asks, annoyance and irritation heavy in his voice.Â
Scott swallows nervously as Jean chuckles behind him. He shakes his head and sits down next to you. âNope, I justâŠâ He trails off, looking towards the trellis.Â
Logan leans forward, his arm still around your shoulder. âYou just what?â
Scott throws his hands up, feigning innocence. âNothing, absolutely nothing.â
Logan leans back, squeezing your shoulder gently as he settles into the seat. You turn towards him, catching his gaze. You need to ask him what this is, even if itâs clear to him. Itâs obviously something to everyone else. You part your lips, finding the courage to finally ask Logan what you two are. âLogan,â you whisper so only he can hear. âWhat isâ"Â Â
But the music starts up, a whimsical rendition of âCanât Help Falling in Love,â filling the air as Hank walks down the aisle, stopping underneath the trellis. Next is Remy, in a cream-colored suit. He grins from ear to ear as he trails down the aisle, nodding to Charles as he steps under the arch. And finally, at the end of the aisle is Rogue. Her dress is bright white, lacey, and tight. She walks down, her bouquet of lilies of the valley and babyâs breath in hand.Â
She meets Remyâs side, and the music stops. âFriends and family,â Hank starts, smiling widely at the crowd. âWe have gathered here today for the marriage of two people who should have been married long ago.â The crowd chuckles as Hank goes on. âBut it is always better late than neverâŠâ
He continues, talking about their story, their love. Hankânaturallyâfinds a few Shakespeare quotes to scatter throughout his speech. Itâs incredibly cheesy, but itâs beautiful. And, as Remy and Rogue exchange vows, you canât help but well up. Their admiration and passion for one another is so undeniably clear. Theyâre committed, a team, partners until the end.Â
âI will always love you, chere,â Remy says, slipping the ring onto Rogueâs finger.Â
A single tear slides down Rogueâs cheek. âAnd I will always love you, sugar,â Rogue says, placing the ring in her hand onto Remyâs finger next.Â
You look up at Logan, and you notice that heâs looking down at you. Thereâs something in his eyes, but you canât quite place it. He tugs you closer, his thumb still stroking your shoulder.Â
Hank sniffles. âWith the power vested in me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife,â Hank says, his voice shaky, his eyes glossed over, holding back tears. âYou may now kiss the bride!âÂ
Remy wraps his arms around Rogueâs waist, and he dips her, his lips capturing hers. Everyone stands, clapping and cheering. You and Logan stand too, his arm falling from your shoulder, leaving you feeling cold despite the summer heat.
But as Rogue and Remy walk down the aisle, Loganâs arm wraps around your waist.  Rogueâs smile widens when she spots you, her eyes flitting between you and Logan. She laughs knowingly. Finally, she mouths to you, and blows you a kiss. The couple finishes their walk down the aisle, and they head into a nearby tent. Â
Given that this is Rogue and Remy, the party starts right away. Music blares from the tent, and you can see the happy couple hitting the floor. You recognize the song immediately: âTake on Meâ by Aha. Jean drags Scott across the grass to join them. Jubilee and some of the other kids trail behind. Charles, Storm, and Hank head over together.Â
You look at Logan and smile, grabbing him by the hand and tugging him towards the tent. You canât remember the last time you saw everyone this happy. Itâs rare that you get to let loose, to have a good time. It warms your heart to see all the students dancing, to see them having a normal childhood experience.Â
âCome on!â Jubilee calls. âCome dance!â Sheâs twirling around, dancing with Kurt and Morph, sparking her signature fireworks every now and then.
You squeeze Loganâs hand and pull him towards the dance floor. Youâre shocked that he doesnât drag his heels, that he doesnât protest or tell you noâhe lets you tug him onto the floor. You turn to face him, swaying to the synthy pop. Logan lifts his arm, twirling you around, laughing as you spin back to him. He grabs your other hand and bounces with you to the music.
âI didnât know you liked dancing!â You shout over the song as Logan spins you again.Â
He smirks, chuckling softly. âI donât!â He shouts back, pulling you in and out to the beat. âBut I like dancing with you.â He draws you in closer, letting go of your hands as his arms wrap around your waist instead.
You can feel the heat rising to your chest, spreading up your neck. The song fades out, and a much slower one starts up. âSomethingâ by The Beatles echoes across the lawn. Rogue and Remy take the center of the floor, and everyone steps off, watching from the side. Logan guides you off the floor and towards your table, his hand in yours again.
âTheyâre beautiful,â you murmur. You see the way Remy looks at Rogue, the way they move as one, fluid unit. âDonât you want something like that?â You ask, your gaze finding Loganâs. He has that look in his eyes againâall soft, relaxed, happy.Â
Logan nods, squeezing your hand. âI think Iâve found it already.âÂ
Your lips part as you rack your brain for the right thing to say, your breath catching in your throat. Itâs everything youâve ever wantedâthe words youâve been waiting to hear. âLogan Iââ
But Jubilee is grabbing your hand as the song changes. âIf youâre not gonna dance with my girl, then Iâm stealing her!â Jubilee calls out to Logan, pulling you onto the floor as âCanât Take My Eyes off Youâ by Frankie Valli rings out.Â
âJubes,â you protest. âLogan and I were actually talking about something kind of important andââ
âOne song?â She begs, frowning, putting on her best puppy dog eyes. You look over at Logan, and heâs still standing where you left him, smiling widely. Dance with her, he mouths, arching his brows expectantly.Â
âFine,â you say, still looking at Logan.Â
Jubilee cheers, taking your hands in hers, spinning you around. You jump with her, screaming the words. Logan watches from his seat. He loves the way you move, the way you shake your hips, the way you throw your head back and laugh. He can see how much fun youâre having, how happy you are. He canât keep his eyes off you, canât help but be mesmerized. And he knowsâjust by watchingâthat he wants to be with you forever. Longer than that. Youâve changed him, made him different. And all for the better.Â
You look over at him, his arms crossed against his chest as his eyes follow your every move. Heâs smiling widely, clearly getting a kick out of you.Â
âHe loves you, you know,â Jubilee says, twirling you. âI mean, just look at how heâs looking at you!â Jubilee smirks, nodding towards Logan. Her eyes widen. âI think heâs coming over here!â
âJubesâŠâ Logan chides as he steps closer to the two of you. âThink I can cut in?â
âI donât know Logan,â Jubilee says sarcastically, grinning ear to ear. âWeâre having a great time.â
Logan puts a hand on your shoulder. âIâd like my girl back now.âÂ
My girl. His girl.Â
Jubilee lifts her hands, stepping away from you as the song fades out. âFine,â she says, pretending to be heartbroken. âGuess Iâll just have to give her up.â Logan steps between the two of you, and you lean to the side to peer at Jubilee as she walks away. She catches your glance, thrusting two thumbs up, mouthing a You got this! as she wanders to her seat.Â
âUnchained Melodyâ by the Righteous Brothers starts up, and Logan wraps his arms around your waist, tugging you into his chest. The sun is setting in the distance, a honeyed glow washing across the lawn, painting the tent and the dance floor in golden light. Logan sways you from side to side, and you let your head fall to his shoulder.Â
His lips find the shell of your ear. âYouâre so beautiful,â he whispers so that only you can hear.Â
âLo, before, when we were watching Remy and RogueâŠâ you pause, lifting your head to look up at him.Â
The corners of his mouth turn up. âI meant what I said,â Logan rasps. âI want you.â He presses his forehead to yours. âJust you.â
âI want you too,â you say, your voice soft and breathy. Logan holds you tighter, his lips just inches away from yours. You can feel his breath fan across your face.Â
âWanted you the whole time,â Logan husks, rocking you gently as the song plays out. âYouâre all I ever think about. I canât get through a day without seeing you, without talking to you.â He pauses as the music grows louder, the strings and piano echoing across the dance floor.
Woah, my love, my darling I've hungered, hungered for your touch A long, lonely time And time goes by so slowly And time can do so much Are you still mine?
âYou feel like home,â he says, his eyes glossing over. âIâve been alive a long time, and for once in my life, I finally understand what that word means. Itâs you. This is what love is supposed to feel like.â He pauses again, taking a deep breath, his jaw working. âI love you, so goddamn much.â
âI love you too,â you confess. âMore than anything.âÂ
And then his lips are on yours, and suddenly everything is nothing. The people around you are gone. Your problems have long melted away. Every ounce of pain and every second of suffering youâve ever feltâthat he has ever experiencedâare forgotten. Itâs all warmth and comfort, languid and slow, but passionate. Heâs taking his time, tasting you, savoring you. Itâs perfect. Beyond perfect.Â
His lips part from yours, and he looks down at you, taking you in, committing the moment to memory. âPretty girl,â Logan mumbles, tugging you off the floor as the song fades out and a pop song starts up. âWhat if we slipped away for a few minutes?âÂ
âO-okay,â you stutter as Logan guides you past your table and out of the tent. The bass of the music echoes across the lawn as you and Logan wander hand in hand toward the mansion. Â
He pushes the back door open, leading the two of you inside, and immediately pins you against the wall. âThis okay, sweetheart?â Logan asks, holding your hands above your head, his fingers wrapping tightly around your wrists.Â
âYes,â you breathe, your chest heaving against his. He closes the gap between you completely, his lips pressing to yours. Itâs hurried now, hungry and frantic. His knee nudges between your legs, spreading you open. You can feel the fire burning in your coreâthe growing ache.Â
You squirm underneath him, your arms fidgeting against his hold, longing to reach out and touch him. âWanna make you feel good first, princess,â Logan soothes, his grip on your wrists tightening. âLet me take care of you.â You canât help but grind down on his thigh at his words.Â
âLo,â you whine, searching for more friction. âPlease, need you.â Logan swallows your moans with a kiss, his lips melting against yours. âI know, darlinâ. I need you too,â he coos. âBut I like watching you get off on my thigh,â he says cockily. âThat feel good?â He pushes his thigh harder between your legs as you slide up and down.Â
âY-yes,â you stammer, rolling your hips. âN-need more.âÂ
âI know, sweetheart, Iâve got you,â Logan whispers, leaving a trail of kisses down your jaw to your neck, softly biting that sweet spot underneath your ear. âGonna make this pussy feel good.â He lets go of your wrists as he slides down your body, hiking your dress up above your hips as he kneels in front of you.
Logan yanks your panties down your legs, leaving your core bare in front of him. âWanna taste you, pretty girl,â he husks, his breath fanning against your heat as he settles between your thighs.Â
âPlease,â you beg, his face just centimeters from where you need him most. His palms splay across your inner thighs, squeezing and nudging you open. You look down at him, hunger, desire, and desperation darkening his half-lidded eyes. âLoââ
And then heâs licking a long stripe through your folds, his tongue flicking your clit. You shudder underneath his touch as he does it again, his tongue pressing harder this time.Â
âTastes so fucking good,â Logan mumbles against you. âKnew youâd taste perfect.â He pulls your clit between his lips and sucks, his teeth grazing the bud lightly. Your knees buckle at the sensation.Â
Logan pushes your legs further apart, one of his hands sliding up your thigh and toward your center. Itâs teasing, achingly slow as his fingers finally reach your folds, toying with your slit and spreading your slick. He laps at your clit, and heâs desperate, ravenous, his mouth swallowing you hungrily.
He teases your entrance with two fingersâgentle compared to the way his teeth graze your clit, to the way heâs sucking every last drop you have to give him. You part your lips, ready to beg for him, but heâs thrusting his long fingers inside youâdown to his knucklesâonly to pull out and pump back in again.Â
You moan his name, your back arching off the wall, your thighs trembling as he fucks into you. Logan smiles against you. âThat feel good, pretty girl?â He asks, his fingers pumping in and out of your entrance at a rhythmic pace.
âS-so good, Logan,â you say, your voice shaky and uneven. His tongue flits out, flicking your clit before his lips wrap around the bud. He sucks again, harder this time, longer, his face buried deep inside your cunt, like he needs this. Needs to feel every inch of you. To explore you. To remember you. Your heart thunders in your chest as he thrusts in and out, his fingers hitting that sweet spot deep inside every time.Â
Your walls flutter around him, squeezing him, taking him deeper. Logan laughs against you, the vibration rolling through your body in waves. âI know youâre getting closer, pretty girl,â Logan whispers, lapping at you between sentences. He looks up at you under those dark, hooded eyes as he plunges into you. âLet me get you there, wanna taste it when you come.â
You flutter around him again, his words threatening to spill the heat building at the bottom of your belly. âLo,â you whimper as he brings a third finger to your entrance.Â
âThatâs it, pretty girl, say my name,â he demands, shoving the third finger deep inside on his next pump.Â
âF-fuck,â you stutter, your legs shaking as you chant his name. Logan Logan Logan.Â
âSo fucked out that Iâm all you can think about, huh?â Logan teases, edging you closer along. You moan in affirmation as Logan laves at you, stuffing his fingers deep inside. âSo fucking beautiful,â he praises. âDoing so good for me.â
âL-Lo,â you choke out, clenching down around him. âIâm so close.â
You can feel yourself coming undone, melting into nothingness as he rams into you, sucking your clit roughly. âI know, princess. Let go for me, wanna feel you come on my fingers.â
Your hips buck and your legs tremble as you fall apart. Your orgasm crashes into you, pleasure coursing through your veins. Logan works you through it, his face still buried between your legs. His tongue laps at you softly, his fingers pumping slowly until they stall inside you.Â
His gaze meets yours as he pulls his fingers out of your cunt and brings them to his mouth. His lips wrap around his fingers, and he sucks, savoring your release. He pulls his fingers out with a pop as he stands up.Â
Logan presses his forehead to yours. âYou know, thereâs something else I want,â Logan says, his voice deep and raspy. âIâm not done with you yet.â He cages you in, a hand on either side of your head.Â
âW-we need to be careful,â you stammer, nodding towards the door. âSomeone could come in andââ Logan cuts you off. âLocked it the second we came inside, sweetheart,â Logan whispers, grabbing your dress and bunching it up around your waist. âNo oneâs coming in here. Itâs just you and me, princess.â Logan pushes his hips into yours, and you can feel his erection straining against the fabric of his slacks. âNeed you, darlinâ.â
You wrap your arms around Loganâs back. âNeed you too,â you pant. Loganâs lips find yours, crashing down needily, starvingly. He swallows your moans, one hand still collecting the fabric of your dress while his other tugs at his belt. He throws it to the floor with a clink and works at his button and zipper, pulling his pants and boxers down his legs. He hoists you up, one hand gripping your ass tightly, pushing your back against the wall for leverage.
âFuck,â Logan curses, his hand guiding his cock to your entrance. Everything is rushed and frantic. He needs to be inside you, needs to feel you, needs to be as close to you as possible. His head slides through your folds, spreading your slick. âWanted this for so long,â Logan huffs, his tip slipping into your slit. âMy girl.â
With one thrust, he sinks himself deep inside youâdown to the hilt. Youâre suddenly so full, so whole. âYours,â you answer as he pulls out and thrusts back in, somehow deeper this time. Heâs everywhere and heâs everything. âAll yours.â
Logan curses under his breath, panting your name as he sets a brutal pace. âMine,â he growls between placing open-mouthed kisses to the crook of your neck. âAll fucking mine.â His free hand slips between your bodies, finding your clit and drawing tight, rapid circles around the bud.Â
You dig your nails into his suit jacket as he splits you open. You want to feel himâto feel his skin, his chest pressed against yours. But this will have to do for now.Â
âNext time,â he mumbles, knowing exactly what youâre silently asking for. âYou can have more of me next time, okay sweetheart?â
Next time. The words replay in your head as he fucks into you, taking everything you have to give. He knows you so well, already knows every curve and inch of your body, knows your dreams and desires. You fit, like two puzzle pieces, like magnets finally drawing together.Â
His thumb brushes your clit soothingly before pinching roughly, sending a jolt of electricity up your spine. Logan thrusts in and out, his hips snapping against yours, the sound of skin against skin echoing throughout the foyer.Â
âFeels so good, pretty girl,â Logan groans. âSo fucking perfect, so tight.â Your walls flutter around him, and he grunts as you squeeze him. âTaking me so well.âÂ
Youâre already close, every thrust bringing you to the edge, every flick of your clit sending you spiraling. Itâs all too much. And itâs all because of him.Â
âLo,â you whine, his hips rocking into yours, his cock dragging along your walls. âIâm soâŠâ You trail off, squeezing him again, taking him deeper.Â
He moans your name, sinking inside you and pulling back out. âI know, princess, me too,â he murmurs, his pace faltering, his hips sputtering. âCome on my cock, wanna feel it,â he pants. âWanna feel you. Forever.â
And then the tension snaps, heat spilling out of you as Logan thrusts again. Heâs throbbing inside you, close behind. Pleasure pulses through your body, wave after wave. You wrap your legs tighter around Loganâs waist, keeping him close as he spills inside you, filling you up. He chants your name, his forehead pressing to yours, looking deep into your eyes as he comes undone.
Your chests heave together, sharing the same breath. His cock is still inside you. Everything is calm. Quiet. âSo perfect,â Logan breathes, his lips finding yours again. âSo fucking perfect.â He finally slips out of you and sets you down on the ground, keeping your dress bunched up around your waist.Â
He leans over to the side, grabs a paper towel from a conveniently placed nearby roll, and sinks down to his knees. Heâs cleaning you up, taking care of you, wiping away the mess spilling down your legs. He pulls your panties back up and kisses each of your thighs before standing and tossing the paper towel into the garbage by the door.Â
He presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, letting your dress go. He fixes each of your straps, straightening them out, and smooths out your dress. âBeautiful,â he praises, swallowing harshly, as if heâs holding himself back from reaching out and taking you again. Part of you wishes he would.
But he bends over and pulls his pants and boxers up, tucking in his shirt, zippering and buttoning his slacks, and securing his belt back in place. Heâs still a little disheveledâsweat on his brow, his hair out of place. But he looks perfect. He looks just like him.Â
âYou ready to go back out?â He asks, taking your hand in his. You nod and let him lead you outside and towards the tent.Â
You find your seats just as dinner is being served. âWhereâd you two go?â Scott asks, arching a brow.Â
âGot a little too hot,â Logan says, smirking to himself. He finds your thigh under the table, squeezing gently, possessively. âNeeded a break from the heat.â
You hum in affirmation, turning your head towards Logan. You canât help the smile that spreads across your face. âThatâs one way to put it,â you whisper so that only he can hear.Â
He squeezes your thigh again, harder this time. His lips find the shell of your ear as the rest of the table starts up a conversation. âYouâre coming back to my room tonight,â he husks. âGot it?â You can feel the heat rising to your chest as he separates from you.Â
You nod, his hand still on your thigh.Â
âGood, because Iâm not finished with you yet.â
tags: @starfleetteddybear @ilysmdovie12 @prettyseaveins @spiderset @figsnpassionfruits @silversprings-mp3 @wittyjasontodd @theasiaabattoir @fanfic-writing-barbie @manipulatour @pedrohoe04 @derbygracie @honeyfewr @cosmiccandydreamer @Movhoney.
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pictures of wolverine where his hair makes him look like a little kittycat
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HEAVY METAL LOVER!
pair: logan howlett x bartender!reader wc: 4.2k contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, drinking, swearing, motorcycle rides, p in v, unprotected sex, rough sex, fingering (fem!receiving), creampie, wolverine's hairy tits, the claws show up ofc, porn with plot, no use of y/n. authorâs note: watched deadpool & wolverine twice in theaters, started rewatching the x-men movies, pondered many different thoughts, sat down and wrote this. i need him to breed me. title from lady gaga's 'heavy metal lover' cause it's literally his song.
the wolverine is a regular at your barâŠ
You're shining glasses behind the bar when you hear it, the gruff sound of Loganâs voice turning away yet another girl that worked up the courage to come up to him. Itâs his third rejection of the night, not that you were counting.
You were, you always do. You pay more attention to that side of the bar than you normally would when heâs here, which is nearly everyday for the past three weeks. He's not like any of your other regulars. He's almost always alone, and he never talks to you except when he calls for another drink.Â
The only reason you even know his real name at all is because Wade told you one of the nights he tagged along, leaning his elbows on the bar to whisper over the sugared rim of his "Piña Colada. Extra creamy please, you know how I like it..." like he was telling you a secret.
"Don't let him hurt your feels honey bunch. That's just classic Logan for you, a man of few words. Huge case of blue balls by the way."Â
You remember the way he let the obvious innuendo hang in the air, the knowing look he gave you as he spun the little paper umbrella floating in his drink. You didnât think you were being that obvious, that someone as socially inept as Wade was able to pick up on the way your eyes would linger a little too long on the broad width of Loganâs shoulders, on the way his arms would strain against the fabric of his flannels.Â
Youâd seen him on the news, thick corded muscles all wrapped in blue and yellow leather. It haunted you for days, playing in your mind on a constant loop of sweaty biceps until you finally gave in and pulled out your favorite vibrator.Â
Even with that, thereâs just something about the jeans and flannels he wears outside of the suit that make you want to jump over the bar and drop down to your knees right in front of him. Your mouth open wide and waiting.
The dull âthunkâ of Logan placing his empty glass on the bartop grabs your attention, two quick raps of his knuckles against the wood ripping you from your thoughts. âAnother,â he says briskly, not looking away from the peeling backsplash on the wall behind you.
You usually snapped at men whoâd bark orders at you, but The Wolverine isnât just any man. He's certainly the only man you'd ever take orders from willingly, happily.
You grin, tossing your towel over your shoulder as you grab the whiskey bottle off the shelf and slide over to him, tipping the amber colored bottle over to start refilling his glass. âThatâs the third one tonight,â you say casually, casting your eyes over his shoulder to the girl from before retreating back to her friends. âI take it you donât come here looking for company?â
Loganâs eyes flick to yours, itâs the first time heâs looked at you all night. You look back, lips pulled into a small smile as more whiskey than youâd usually pour splashes against the sides of his glass. The music playing from the speakers fades into a dull hum around you.
He holds your gaze for a second longer, a flash of something you can't quite read passing through his eyes before heâs looking away again. âNot the kind youâre thinking of,â he replies, his voice a low rumble that has something warm zinging up your spine.
You set the bottle down next to him, brow piqued in curiosity. âAnd what kind is that?â
He doesn't respond right away, just raises the now full glass to his lips to take a slow sip. You almost think heâs going to ignore you again, but then he speaks, âYou ask everyone that comes in here personal questions, bub?âÂ
Thereâs the barest hint of amusement lacing his words that has you biting your bottom lip to try and contain the absolute giddiness blooming in your chest. Itâs not much, but itâs more than heâs ever given you before. Encouraged, you step in a little closer, hoping to draw him out further.
âOnly the ones with their asses practically fused to my stools,â you shrug, a playful glint sparkling in your eyes. âSo what is it, you got some poor wife you leave at home every time you come here? Because the âtall, dark, and kind of morally ambiguousâ thing is obviously working for you.â
Logan turns his eyes to you again, his brow raised in amusement. Youâre close enough that you can see the way his lips turn up at the corners. He seems to consider your question, gaze slowly trailing along your face before flicking back to your eyes. "No wife," he replies, the words slow and deliberate. "No home to leave her at either.â
His response hangs in the air between you, heavier than you anticipated. You let out a soft breath, lips parting ever so slightly. You can practically feel the weight of his gaze settling over you, leaving your whole body warm and tingly. The heat swirling deep in your gut slipping down to pool wet and sticky in your panties. Loganâs eyes blink shut for just a second, the bridge of his nose twitching lightly.
You almost canât believe this is really happening, that the angry guy at the end of your bar youâve seen turn away pretty girl after pretty girl is flirting with you. It makes you feel dizzy with power, like you could do anything, but itâs also one of the most intimidating things youâve ever experienced. You didnât realize what it meant to be the center of Loganâs attention until now, but you refuse to back down.
 He gives an inch, so you take a mile.
Your grin widens as you lean your elbows on the bar, resting your chin on the heels of your hands. Logan doesnât react to you invading his space, just keeps his eyes on you with a passive look on his face, but you donât miss the way his gaze darts down to the low cut of your top.
âSoâŠâ you say slowly, voice dipping into a softer more intimate tone, âthat means youâre free later tonight?â You tilt your head to the side coyly, allowing your hair to cascade over your shoulder, the movement drawing his gaze.
Loganâs eyes widen the tiniest bit, a surprised huff leaving his lips. He raises his glass, taking another long drink. Your eyes trace the sharp line of his jaw to where his adamâs apple bobs enticingly as he swallows. Your lips tingle with the need to mark up the tan column of his throat, to sink your teeth in the skin there, to taste.
The neckline of his undershirt dips low enough that you can see the dark hair scattered across his chest, dog tags dangling from a chain around his neck to sit in the center.
You drag your eyes back up to his face, flushing when you see that he's already looking at you over the rim of his drink. He sets his half drained glass down, a skeptical look on his face. âHow old are you, kid?â
You shake your head with a soft laugh, dropping your palms to lay flat on the bartop. If that makes your top dip a little lower to flash more of your cleavage in Loganâs eyeline, then thatâs just a bonus. âOld enough to be here,â you reply after a short pause, gazing up at him from under your lashes, âOld enough to know what I want.â
Loganâs eyes darken, the warm brown of them seeming deeper and even more intense than before. The dim overhead lights cast shadows across his rugged features, highlighting the scruff on his jaw. You canât help but imagine the rough scratch of it brushing up against your inner thighs.
Logan pushes his glass away, leaning in with a soft grunt, his eyes drop to your lips. You suck in a shocked breath, your whole body lighting up at being so close to him. Your heart is racing in your chest, a quick ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum that echoes in your ears.
His lips turn up in a sly grin, the sharp canines of his teeth on display. âIs that so?â He asks, voice going all husky like gravel and honey. He meets your eyes and you swear you can see the sparks going off in the air between you, everything else in the bar completely fizzling out as his breath mingles with yours. âCareful what you wish for,â he says, his voice a low rumble that makes your knees weak. âYou might just get it.â
Your lips curve into a mischievous smile, the heat between you palpable. âIâm counting on it,â you reply, your voice dripping with promise. It takes everything in you to straighten up and pull away from Logan, stepping back with the forgotten bottle in your hand. âMy shift ends at eleven,â you say with a small shrug, jerking your head to a door across the room, âstaff leaves through the alley door.âÂ
Itâs a clear invitation, one that Logan easily picks up on. His hungry gaze follows every move you make as you shelf the whiskey.
Before he can say anything, someone calls you from across the bar, shaking their empty glass impatiently. You throw him one last smile over your shoulder, mouthing âelevenâ again with a quick nod of your head. You arenât sure if itâs supposed to reassure you or him.
Logan smirks nonetheless, standing from the bar before draining the rest of his drink and throwing a few bills down. The air crackles as you watch him make his way towards the exit, eyes lingering on the way his jeans hug the thick muscles of his legs before someone is snapping their fingers at you to serve them.
The rest of your shift drags by, but the excitement and hope swirling in your stomach doesnât fade. Youâre practically thrumming with excitement by the time eleven rolls around, anticipation coursing through your veins as you clock out and grab your bag from your locker.
You pull the door to the alley open, the heavy metal creaking with the swing. The gravel crunches under your shoes as you step outside, eyes eagerly searching the space in search of Logan. The light mounted above the door shines around you, but you donât see him anywhere.Â
Just as disappointment starts to settle in your chest, you hear a loud rumble coming from the down the street. A bright light shines across the road as it gets closer and closer until thereâs a motorcycle pulled up against the alleyâs opening.
Logan kicks the bikeâs stand down, leaning over to hold out a helmet in offering. âYou coming or not?â he calls out, voice deep and teasing, âIâm not known for my patience.â
You canât help but laugh, a mix of exhilaration and nervousness bubbling up inside you. With a confident stride, you walk toward him, the loud growl of the bike reverberates through your body like thunder with every step. âYouâre just full of surprises tonight, arenât you?âÂ
You take the helmet in from his hand, but he doesn't let go right away, making your fingers brush against his in a way that sends a shiver up your arm. You meet his gaze, the smirk on his lips matching the dangerous glint in his eyes.
He drops his hand down to the bikeâs handle, jerking his head back to the empty space behind him. âHop on, bub.â
You straddle the bike, the leather seat warm from the rumbling engine beneath you. You give Logan your address as you slip the helmet on. His body is warm and solid against your front, you canât help but press a little closer, your hands falling to rest on his waist. The leather of his jacket is smooth under your fingertips.
Logan turns his head to the side, the street lights shine along the side of his face in a warm yellow glow. âHang on,â he says, voice barely audible over the roar of the bikeâs engine starting up.
The sudden rush of wind as he pulls off paired with the thrillingly intense vibration of the engine revving under you is exhilarating. You wrap your arms tight around his waist, fingers digging in slightly as you lean into the curve of his body.Â
The city blurs into a whirlwind of colorful lights as Logan navigates the streets with a confident ease. The cool night air whips past you, every turn and acceleration pumping more adrenaline through your veins. You cling to Loganâs waist like itâs a lifelineâ thereâs a sense of freedom and excitement that comes with being on the bike, but you think the real thrill is being pressed against him like this, feeling the power of his strength under you.
The ride seems like it takes both hours and seconds all at once when Logan pulls up to your house's gate. He kills the engine, the sudden silence a stark contrast from the roaring bike. Your heart pounds in your chest, pulse thumping as you slide the helmet off.
Logan takes it from your hands, eyes scanning over your house. âNice place,â he comments casually, swinging his leg over the bike to stand next to you.Â
"Thanks," you say, your voice a tad breathless. You canât help but feel a little self-conscious as you dig for your keys in your bag, nerves finally starting to set in. The air is cold against your flushed skin, and youâre hyper aware of Loganâs presence behind you as you unlock the gate and push it open.
He doesnât touch you as the two of you walk up the steps to your house, infuriatingly keeping his distance with his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans.
Your legs shake with every step, you canât tell if itâs left over adrenaline from the ride or the building anticipation for the ride you know is waiting for you beyond your front door. Your hands tremble as you fumble with the lock, opening the door and stepping into the darkness of your living room.Â
Youâre barely a foot inside before a pair of strong hands pull you backwards, getting whirled around by your waist until your back hits your closed front door mute thud. You donât have any time to react before Loganâs crowding up against you, his body a solid wall of muscle pressing you hard against the door. His lips crash into yours in a hungry kiss, you can taste the whiskey from earlier sharp and smoky on his tongue.
You respond eagerly, leaning up to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down even closer. Loganâs hands roam over your body rough and possessive, one sliding up to cup the back of your neck while the other grips your waist, pulling you even closer. His hands leave a trail of fire in their wake, your skin tingling with every brush of his fingers. You can feel the raw power in his touch, a barely there restrained strength that has your heart racing even faster.Â
âI could fucking smell you,â he growls agasint your neck, digging his sharp teeth into your collarbone meanly. You can't help but let out a soft moan, your head falling back against the door to give him better access. The rough stubble on his jaw scrapes deliciously against your sensitive skin, sending shivers down your spine. âCould smell how goddamn wet you got, back at the bar.â
His hand slips under the waistband of your jeans, sliding down the front of your panties to brush against your clit. Your mouth drops open with a soft moan, your slick lips still tingling. âDo you have any fuckinâ idea how hard it was not to bend you over, to not rip these things off and fuck you over the bar?â he asks roughly, lips brushing against your skin with every word. âWanted to take you right, make everyone watch while I made you scream.â
Your breath hitches at his words, a wave of pleasure crashing through you. The rough skin of his fingertips press more firmly against your clit, drawing a broken moan from your lips. âLogan,â you gasp, your hips bucking involuntarily against his hand.Your hands claw at his shoulders, gripping the fabric of his shirt as you try to ground yourself.Â
His lips capture yours again in a bruising kiss, sliding two thick fingers into you with a rough thrust. âAtta girl,â he murmurs against your mouth, dragging his tongue across your bottom slip. âThatâs it, say my name,â he growls, swallowing your moans as his fingers pump into you with an unrelenting pace. Your walls clench around him, a needy whine escaping your throat as he begins to fuck his fingers in and out of your wet cunt.Â
The coil of pleasure deep in your stomach tightens with every thrust of his fingers, your body trembling with the intensity of it all. You can feel the pressure start to build, like a dam threatening to burst, but this isnât how you want to come. You break the kiss, a thin thread of saliva connecting your lips before it thins and breaks. âWait,â you say breathlessly, hand slipping down to grip his forearm tightly, âI want to come with you inside me.â
Logan growls, a deep, primal sound that you can feel rumble deep in his chest where itâs pressed against yours. âBedroom,â he demands, hands dropping to the back of your thighs and lifting.Â
You wrap your legs around his waist with a quiet squeal, attacking the skin of his neck with your teeth as he walks the two of you down the dark hallway. âFirst door on the right,â you whisper, dragging your tongue along the column of his throat. You can feel the thick length of his cock straining against his jeans press into your hip. He sucks in a sharp breath as you roll your hips down, sliding the damp fabric of your clothed cunt over him.
Logan kicks the door open with a force that has it slamming against the wall, the sound barely registering in your lust-addled brain. Logan dumps you on the bed, the force of it bouncing you on the mattress. He rips his white undershirt over his head and drops to his knees in front of you, big hands coming up to grip the waistband of your jeans.
The muscles in his arms donât even flex as he rips your shorts down the middle, denim and along with lace panties tearing like tissue paper in his hands and falling to the floor in tattered pieces. You gasp at the cold air hitting your hot, aching cunt.Â
Loganâs hands run up and down the bare skin of your calves, eyes glued to the soaked skin of your inner thighs. Your thighs start to tremble under his gaze, your patience starting to wear thin. Logan drags his eyes back to you, taking in the pleading look on your face. He smirks, wordlessly rising to his feet to pop open the button of his jeans.
You watch with bated breath as he unzips his fly, eyes glued to the way he starts to push them down his legs just enough that they fall to pool around his ankles. Your mouth drops open, eyes going wide at the sight of him.
Heâs so big, so thick and heavy that his cock hangs hard between his hairy thighs instead of slapping up against his stomach. Thereâs a thick drop of pre-cum leaking from the tip, dripping down a thick vein running along the side.
Your mouth waters with want, the want to bury your nose in the dark thatch of hair surrounding the base, the want to have him fuck your throat raw and red. You can almost feel the ache in your jaw.Â
As much as you want to get him in your mouth, you want him inside you even more.
âGet your ass over here,â you demand breathlessly, tearing your shirt off your head in one swift motion. Logan smirks, stepping out of his jeans and making his way across the room. His dog tags jingle with every step, your cunt clenches weakly.
He stalks up the mattress like a predator, eyes ablaze as a cocky smirk plays on his lips. Your legs fall open unconsciously, thighs spreading wide to make enough room for his hips to slot against yours.
You gasp at the thick head of his cock sliding through your wet folds, your body arching off the bed. The sensation is electric, shooting through you like a live wire. "Logan," you breathe, your voice barely more than a whimper. "Please..."
"Please what?" he asks, his lips curving into a smirk against your skin. "You gotta tell me what you want, sweetheart."
Your cheeks flush hot, but the need burning inside you is stronger than any embarrassment. "I want you," you admit, your voice trembling with desire. "I want you to fuck me, Logan."
His growl is low and feral, his fingers teasing you relentlessly as he presses his forehead to yours. "That's a good girl," he rumbles, his breath hot against your lips as he sinks into the tight heat of your cunt in a single thrust.Â
The pace he sets is unrelenting, one hand braced on the pillow next to your head while the other grips your bedâs frame for better leverage to fuck down into you. The sting of his cock splitting your cunt open has your nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders. His dog tags hang from his neck, swinging like a pendulum as he starts to thrust.
âFuck, youâre so tight,â he grates out, brows furrowed in pleasure. His hips speed up, barely pulling out halfway before he plunges back into you. The bed squeaks under you, slamming up against the wall as Logan fucks you.
Itâs like Logan surrounds every inch of you, strong arms caged around your head while his body covers yours, metal bonded bones pressing you down into the mattress so thereâs nothing you can do but take it. You know that heâs ruined every other man in the world for you as the heavy snap of his hips pounds against the skin of your ass hard enough to bruise. The thick muscles of chest bounces as he moves, the coarse hair scraping against your sensitive nipples.
The head of his cock pounds the soft spot inside of you that has your eyes fluttering closed, mind going hazy as heat starts to pool at the base of your spine.
âDonât fucking stop,â you beg brokenly, tears sting the corners of your eyes. âGod! Iâm gonna come, youâre gonna make me comeââ
âCome on baby,â Logan goads, dropping down to his fore arm so he can bury his face in the crook of your neck, âGive it to me, come on this cock, show me how much you fucking love it,â
The stinging bite of his sharp canines scraping the fluttering pulse of your neck makes you wail, nails raking down his back hard enough to leave long red welts that heal as you go. Your cunt clenches around the pulsing length of his cock, greedily milking him as you come in a rush of wetness around his cock.
âFuck,â Logan grits out, his hips faltering. Itâs not by much, but just enough for you to notice. The rhythmic smack smack smack of skin stuttering as his breath comes out in fast pants against the sweaty skin of your neck. His cock jerks inside you fiercely, his heavy balls tightening as he gets closer to the edge. You can hear the metal frame of your bed creaking warningly under his grip.
âCome in me,â you beg breathlessly, tightening your ankles around his waist. âPlease, Logan I need itââ
Logan lets out a feral growl as his hand drops from your headboard, the sharp metallic sound of his claws unsheathing rings out above you before he slams his fist into the mattress next to your head. He floods your insides, pumping you full of his come as he grunts like a beast on top of you. He gives a few more weak thrusts of his hips, letting the two of you ride out your highs before he finally stills.
You hear the quiet snikt of his claws retracting from your mattress and back into between his knuckles before Logan collapses on top of you, arms braced on either side of your head to take most of his weight. His breath puffs raggedly over the skin of your shoulder, his spent cock still snug in your sore cunt.Â
âYou owe me a new mattress,â you say breathlessly, digging the heels of your feet into his lower back sharply.Â
Logan chuckles into your neck, tipping his head up to look at you with dark eyes. His lips curl into a smirk as he rolls his hips, his still hard cock dragging along the sensitive walls over your cunt makes you gasp. âYeah?â he asks, low and velvety. His eyes flick to the three holes punched through your sheets. âYou can add it to my tab,â he says with another stronger roll of his hips, âWeâre not done here, bub.â
the actual biggest shout out to @ebodebo for beta reading and listening to my non-stop rambling and horny thoughts about this man. she's a true solider because i have been so annoying about this. mwah mwah mwah.
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guess
smut 18+, age gap, fem reader, underwear fixation
logan howlett loves to swear up and down that heâs too old to mess around with a pretty young thing like you. youâre out of his league in everything you do, from the way you can get up early in the morning and stay out late at night, stumbling back into your apartment in a fit of giggles, humming the last song that played at the club you were returning from.
he acts like he doesnât notice, and he acts like you donât exist. but the moment you bumped into him in the laundry room itâs been hard to ignore you.
it was wade whoâd introduced the two of you to each other when he was giving logan the grand tour of the apartment complex, and theyâd run into you while you were unloading a drier, tossing your clothes into a basket.
you in your tiny shorts and tight tank top, one earbud in and the other dangling by your chest. he tried hard not to stare, especially when you slowly straightened yourself up, holding your basket of clothes to your side, hair messy and sticking to your face a little bit.
it was hot in the laundry room, hell, the whole fucking building felt like a furnace now that the a.c. refused to work in the peak of summer.
but there you were, wide smile and open arms when wade shoved logan in your direction. you didnât take it personally when he merely grunted at you, a slight nod to his head as a greeting. to loganâs surprise, your lips curled as you looked up at him, and you stared up at him like he was some kind of tree you wanted to climb.
no shame about it either.
loganâs eyes were drawn to your basket as wade spoke, retelling the whole story of how the two of you became âneighbour bestiesâ, as he had put it. how you helped wade keep up with the âyoungstersâ, as he called them.
no, logan was too busy staring at a lacy black pair of panties sitting at the top of your basket. pretty little thing, pretty little bows to adorn it.
he slowly tore his eyes away from them and looked at you, then down to your hips where he could see your bright pink underwear, peaking out from the denim.
and maybe, in a dream or two, he imagined what those cute pink ones looked like in full. how it would be like to push you against your door before you could even unlock it, unbutton your shorts and dig his hands into them just to feel the soft fabric of your pretty pink underwear, soiled and ruined from how wet you were with want.
but for now, heâd have to do with the black lacy ones, he almost didn't want to take them off. running his hands over the fabric, grinning when your back arches against the bed, a little desperate, way too needy.
youâve soaked them, all ruined just from him touching you, from the way his teeth teased you, pulling at the bows, running his nose over your clothed pussy.
logan hooked his fingers over the fabric at the center, pulling it to the side, tongue poking into your cunt, drawing out a whine from you. with an open mouth, he pulled back to see your slick, coated lips with a satisfied grunt.
logan pulled them back just to stare. fuck, they were so pretty. you were so pretty just sitting under him, in nothing but those pretty panties. yeah, logan might be old, but he can keep up for a night.
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iâm telling you this shit isnât even a joke anymore
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WIP Wolverine x femReader 18+
âGod, do you ever suck on anything other than Wadeâs dick and cheap cigars?â
He leaned in close to your ear and growled,
âYa lookin to find out Princess?â
x Deadpool kinda eventually lmfaoooo
FemY/n is mid 20âs - early 30âs
Tw for depression and like drug use mentions ig
đ¶ïžđ«”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello đ This is the first fanfic that I have written in over 10 years the brain rot is so unbelievably real for wolverine and deadpool rn
its a little embarrassing tbh lmfaoo
âââââââââ
Iâm not really sure how to tag this tbh. Iâve never posted on tumblr. . Itâs a little spicy and will get more interesting later. I just wanted to toss this small part out for readers to test the waters. Anyway um Iâm not experienced writing y/n pov so please be nice.
Your friend, Wade Wilson, couldnât take no for an answer. You knew that and yet you still had the audacity to tell him ânoâ three times tonight. And about thirty minutes after you ignored his last phone call there he was, practically knocking down your door. It wasnât like he couldnât actually kick in your door, he was just being polite.Â
The apartment buzzer went off. You sat up from your position on the couch, hoping heâd just give up and leave if you didnât acknowledge him. Like a stray cat. Or a crackhead.
âKnock knock~â you heard his voice through the door. âI smell Hot Pockets and sadness I know youâre in thereâ
Gripping the arm of the sofa you waited hoping heâd have the common courtesy fuck off .You heard the door knob rattle. Dumbass.
With a click of the lock, your door swung open revealing Wade, grinning as he shoved his Baby Knife back into his coat.
âWade, what the fuck? I told you-â
He clapped his hands loudly, interrupting you.
 âLetâs go Funshine Bear, the nights young and Iâm not going anywhere without youâ Wade marched past you, straight to your bedroom humming to himself.
âYou look awful by the way, weâll fix you up though.â He clicked his tongue and crooked a finger in your direction. You huffed angrily, sliding off the couch to follow him.Â
You stopped in the doorway, almost refusing to step inside. He was elbows deep in your closet drawers, throwing clothes onto your bed, muttering his disapproval at every item he tossed.
You crossed your arms as you watched him.Â
âDo you have anything that doesnât look like you took it from the Walmart dumpster?â He pulled a drawer out from the dresser and dumped it on the floor. âYou know the one Iâm talking about, right? Where all the coke addicted bronies go to have a bone sess before band practice.â
You crossed your arms as you watched him. âWade, Iâm not in the mood to go out.â
You heard him sigh, but continued to riffle through your things.Â
âThatâs nonsense, the plot canât continue with out you. Annnd we made these plans last week.â
He peeked at you from behind the open closet door. âIâm a little worried about you. You arenât your chipper self latelyâ
âIâm just tiredâ You replied dismissively.
It wasnât like Wade hasnât been trying to cheer you up in his own way. For the last few weeks heâd text you obscure and quite frankly disturbing memes at 3 AM. Excitedly offer you drugs that heâs pilfered from the his blind roommate- (he knows you donât do drugs, he just wanted to brag about stealing coke from Blind Al)
Heâs also been sending you the strangest X-Men fan fiction. (His favorites were âold man yaoiâ including Professor Xavier and Magneto) Usually you eat that kind of stuff up, finding it funny that you knew some of the people that the fanfiction was written about, like a private joke between you and Deadpool. But worst thing heâs done has beencalling you almost every day and attempting to make plans with you, but you always seem to cancel last minute. So yeah, he has been trying. It just.. didnât help.
Your eyes flickered to your wall of photos next to the closet door.  Pictures of your closest friends and family. Their arms around you laughing, smiling. Pictures of trips and silly outings that meant the world to you. You felt so much guilt and regret looking at them.
Depression was a bitch. It was like a rabid dog that wouldnât let you get back on your feet. You felt it gnawing at you, causing you to lose interest in everyone and everything. You felt alone. Your eyes fell back to Wade, you watched your friend hard at work trying to match your shoes with a dress he had found. He was clueless. You couldnât tell him any of this though, it would just make him worry more.
There was someone you did want to talk to though. To tell everything to. Someone that you had grown so close to the last few months.
You missed Logan.
This realization caused your face to heat and anxiety weld up in your chest. You balled your hands into fits thinking about that arrogant jerk. Youâve tried to be a friend to Wolverine. After all this wasnât his reality. He was your timelineâs replacement. (Idk you should go watch the movie. Iâm not explaining it.) and for a while, you thought you were friends.
Lately, if he wasnât drunk and depressingly moody, he was angry and a massive dick.Â
âY/N? Look a little pink at the cheeks are you feeling OK?â Wade was now standing less than a foot from you, his brows furrowed. You hadnât noticed him move.
Snapping back from your thoughts by Wades voice, you ran hands over your face as you turn towards the attached bathroom.
âDude, I told you Iâm just not feeling good-â You stepped into the bathroom and turned on the faucet âI donât wanna hang out with-â
âLogan?â
âYour friends.â You finished. You felt your face flush deeper at his name being mentioned.
âThatâs what I saidâ Wade followed you to the bathroom, but thankfully didnât come in. He stood outside while you closed the door.Â
âTrust me honey, I know heâs the embodiment of a sentient happiness starved cactus whose father never loved him but-â
You groaned, trying to avoid Wades ramblings you turned the water on full blast, drowning out the remainder of his sentence. You splashed water on your face and ran a comb through your hair. You heard Wade continue talking, almost to himself while also sounding like he was talking to someone else in the room  as well. Someone you couldnât see. He did that often. It was creepy.
You swung the door open frowning.
â-sometimes he stabs me through the face to shut me up, but I know he does it because heâs not good with words.â
Wade smile faded when he saw your face.Â
âItâs kinda hotâ
âI donât want to talk about it Wade.â You sat down onto your bed with a huff despite the pile of clothes and plastic hangers. You stared at your hands. You felt the overwhelming weight of your anxiety in your chest and stomach. Maybe you should go out. Maybe he wonât show up tonight. Maybe-
âYou look like you wanna talk about it Friendo.â
Wade joined you by dramatically pushing all the clothes off the bed, making an even bigger mess of your room. He flopped down onto your bed stomach first, propping himself up by his elbows. He kicked his feet and smiled at you.
âIâm all ears.â
âI donât know how to startâ You admitted.
âStart with an âI feelâ statementâÂ
Another sigh escaped your mouth. How did you feel? It felt complicated. You met him a few months ago. At first he was rude and closed off. Then he slowly began to open up, sure you still bickered and fought like cats, but it had playful undertones. (âSexy undertonesâ Wade had joked) When he was being genuine and open, it felt like you could talk to him for hours. Though he never spoke for too long, he would to listen to you earnestly. Up until a few weeks ago, that is.
âI feel like Logan hates me. I feel like he would rather huff paint thinner than have a decent conversation with me.â
Wade laughed. âWell thatâs not true, I canât get him to huff anything.â
You shot him a look.
âListen, I invite Mr. Grumpy out every time. But heâs too busy sulking to get fucked up with us. He would rather get drunk and pass out in the floor of the apartment. He probably wonât even show up.â Wade gave you a reassuring look.
âIf he does youâre gonna be there with me. Weâll leave if you feel uncomfortable at all.â
He rolled over and sat up, putting an arm around you.
âIâve just noticed your mood lately I need you to know that I love you.â He gave your shoulder a squeeze.  â-and I miss getting fucked up with you.â
âWill you stab him for me if heâs mean?â
âOf course. I always have Baby Knife on me.â
âFine. Let me get readyâ
He jumped off the bed excitedly.
You pushed Wade out the door to get dressed, pausing in the doorway. âWade?â
âYes Friendo?â He turned on his heel
âI love you too budâ
He squealed as you closed the door.
~~~
You never understood why Wade wouldnât just buy a car. He makes decent money (he doesnât) and could probably afford a nice one. (He couldnât) At one point you recall him having a weird hyperfixation with the Honda Odyssey (he fucked Wolverine in one) (allegedly)
Instead, you were climbing into the back of a dirty beat up taxi cab that his friend, Dopinder, drove for a living. At least you didnât have to walk. Dopinder was a sweet guy, if not a little unhinged every once in a while.Â
âYou look quite beautiful tonight Miss Y/Nâ He complimented you as you settled in the back seat. You smiled at him, appreciating the comment. Wade had picked out your dress and you felt a little exposed and out of your element in it. It wasnât anything crazy, just a slick black dress with a low neck line. The dress was short, ending a little above the knee. The problem was the slit up the side. You wanted to wear tights under the outfit but Wade insisted on fishnets. âYou look like a goth baddieâ  he had assured you, âLike a Hot Topic clearance rack version of Morticia Addams.â
Wade hopped in the front and immediately started to flip through the radio channels. Dopinder usually had on pleasant sounding Indian pop music but Wade settled on some heavily censored 90âs hip hop.Â
The drive was rocky. Wade, who almost never kept his hands to himself, would grab poor  Dopinder while dancing along to the music causing the cab to swerve. A lot.
Having made it to the bar in one piece, you quickly scrambled out of the back, thanking the young man for the ride.Â
Wade waited for you at the door.
~~~
The bar was loud and dark. One of those typical bars you see in movies, filled with moving bodies and cigarette smoke. Music pumped through the speakers with some people lingering near the bar while others swayed on the dance floor. Wade bounced through the crowd pulling you along towards the bar, where his group of friends took up half the bar area. You scanned the crowd nervously. No Logan. Your muscles relaxed, and you moved with a little more energy.
Wade greeted his friends with various enthusiastic greetings and crude gestures. You smiled in greeting and waved at a friend you recognized but sat down on a stool next to where Wade stood, him blocking you from most of the other bar patrons. There was a part of you that was a little disappointed that Logan wasnât here. It made sense if he didnât show up here, this bar was honestly more like a club, upbeat and energetic. Heâs used to dark depressing dive bars, places you can drink yourself into a coma and not be bothered. But the few times he had shown up here you had thought that he enjoyed your company, for a little while at least. During times when the others were off doing dubious shit somewhere, heâd sit with you at the bar. You even managed to get him to dance with you once. That all changed recently. Something happened that caused him to be distant and often rude for seemingly no reason.
Everyone seems to be so happy to see Wade and he, them. You didnât really know why you were here. It already felt overwhelming. You used to love coming here. Drinking and dancing, playing pool badly and belting out shitty country music karaoke with everyone. Lately, things have felt different. Youâve lost interest in a lot of the things you use to enjoy, spending your days just working and rotting in your apartment. This was too much.
Wade touched your shoulder causing you to jump.
âHey weâre off to play some darts you in?âÂ
You smiled at your friend. âYou really wouldnât want me to play, youâd end up as the dart board.â
âDonât threaten me with a good time Sweetheartâ Wade laughed, âweâll be over there if you change your mind.â He made a heart with his hands and turned toward the group already making their way to the play area.
You sat quietly at the counter with a glass of something sweet and strong. You wanted to feel a buzz but you needed it to taste good. Your eyes scanned the crowd, people watching. You watched people dance and sway to the newest Kesha song blaring through the speakers. You witnessed a near fight over a pool game. You heard Wadeâs laughter from across the room, his friends echoing along. You felt alone. It was your fault you told yourself. If you wanted to feel better you wouldâve gotten up and joined your friends. But here you sat, being miserable on purpose.Â
âHey beautiful, mind if I joined you?â Your head snapped up meeting the face of someone you didnât recognize. He was good looking, in a vanilla frat boy kinda way. With his backwards hat, sleeveless tank, skinny jeans and all.
But he smiled like a wolf.
âIâm sorry.â You tried to smile politely, but you had a twinge of anxiety growing in your chest. âIâm not really in the mood for companyâÂ
The man smiled motioning to the bartender for a drink. âCanât I just buy you a drink? â
âReally, Iâm fineâ You turned back to your drink, your eyes unfocused, hoping that if you just ignored him heâd leave. Your gut flipped when you heard him pull out the stool next to you. He wasnât leaving.
âCome on babe, I can show you a good timeâ
âShe said she ainât looking for company bub.â A low voice growled behind you. A beer bottle came down heavily in between you and the creep. Your eyes trailed the hairy but beautifully sculpted arm to its owner, though you already knew who it belonged to. Logan. Even in this lighting you could see his rugged face. His hair was styled in its iconic cat ear shape. His beard was trimmed nicely combined with his thick muttonchops. His eyes were a little hazy but beautiful and dark. You met those eyes for a brief moment, he smirked at you before his gaze flickered to the other man.
 âWell?â He rumbled, barring his teeth.
âNaw, I was here first grandpa, you fuck off.â The frat guy stood up straight, trying to look intimidating.
âTrust meâ Logan chuckled. He straightened cracking his knuckles before raising his fists and extending three razor sharp Adamantium claws from each hand.
âYou donât want none of thisâ
~~~
âYou didnât have to do thatâ you looked down at your glass avoiding Loganâs gaze. You heard him land heavily in the bar stool next to you. He tapped the counter signaling the bartender who was very clearly avoiding your side of the bar.
âI wasnât going to have some limp dick creeping on you.â
âI was handling itâÂ
âYou didnât seem like you were handling anything Princess.â He scoffed.
You shot him a look. He smirked as he chugged his remaining beer, you couldnât help watch his throat bob as he drank. He finished and loudly set the bottle down. He met your eyes and you looked away feeling your face heat violently.
âYou thirsty princess?â He asked as the bartender set down two shots of something before scurrying away. He slid one glass your way.
âNo thank you. I have my own drinkâ
You pushed the glass back his way. He eyed your almost empty cocktail and shrugged.
âSuit yourselfâ he took the glasses and knocked back both shots simultaneously slamming the glasses back down. After a few moments of silence, where you clearly felt Logan eyeing you the entire time, you sighed.
âI didnât think Iâd see you tonight Logan.â You admitted. Another beer had appeared in front of him, he took a swig. He eyed you, his eyes slowly trailing from your face down your body. They rested at the slit in your dress, exposing most of your fishnet covered thigh. You felt a ping in your lower belly, causing you to cross your legs uncomfortably. His eyes followed to movement. He licked his lips and met your eyes again smirking.
âWhy didja miss me?â
You looked down at the growing piles of shredded napkins you had been anxiously ripping apart.Â
âYesâ you said at last. There was no point in lying. You did miss him. Even seeing him now, clearly drinking away his problems, you couldnât help but feel glad he was there with you. You were glad he scared away that creep, despite his now passive aggressive demeanor. You met his eyes again.
He snorted and tipped the beer to his lips.âYouâre a fucking liarâ
You felt your gut squeeze with anger. Why was he treating you this way? You didnât ask him to step in to a play hero. You didnât ask him for anything. You just wanted to get out of your shitty apartment for one goddamn night. You balled your fists and spun to face him fully.
âWhat. The. Fuck.â You clenched your teeth annunciating each word bitterly. âIs. YOUR PROBLEMâ
âMy PROBLEM,â he practically spat the word,
âis that I have to deal with your moody ass attracting the eye of every fucking creep in this place when you very fucking clearly donât want to be here.âÂ
You threw your hands up angrily and gestured around the bar.Â
âI didnât want to deal with any of this Logan. I just wanted to go out with my FRIENDS, which I used to think you were one. I donât fucking know what prick you had up your ass lately, but you sure as hell donât act like you like me. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?â
He was silent for a moment, studying your face, making it turn even redder. Then he laughed. He shook his head laughing and sloppily chugged his second beer.
You had enough. You needed to get away from him. You shoved yourself back, tipping the stool over in the process.
âCome find me when you figure out what you want.â You turned to leave. You made it a few steps before you heard Loganâs voice call mockingly.
âNice dress by the wayâÂ
You didnât turn to look at him.
âFuck you, Loganâ
~~~
You ran your hands under cold water, leaning over the sink you splashed the water into your face and sighed. You looked into your mirrored face. This was a disaster.
Maybe if you just stayed in the bathroom you can avoid everyone until Wade was ready to leave. You felt bad that you ran off instead of finding him. You wouldâve felt safe with Wade.
Your head was swimming, from the alcohol or the interaction with Logan you couldnât tell.
The speaker above you crackled playing the opening notes to âDirty Dianaâ, a favorite of yours. A banger Wade would say.
Without warning the door sung open and Logan stumbled in.Â
âYouâre in the wrong bathroom you drunk assholeâ you snapped. His eyes met yours from a brief moment before he swayed slightly and took a step forward.
He pushed past you wordlessly and began kicking open the bathroom stalls. They were all empty.Â
âDude get outâ You gripped the sink behind you, watching Logan warily. You knew deep down he wouldnât hurt you but you obviously didnât want him in here with you. He turned to you, taking a step forward.
âI needed to talk to youâ
âYeah, you could have waited til I got out of the ladies room??âÂ
âNo.â he growled before in one swift movement he was in front of you, his arms on either side of the sink trapping you between them. Your breath came out in a shudder and your knees wobbled. This honestly was a thing out of a fantasy, something that you were embarrassed to admit youâve thought about. You had been fighting your feelings for this big stupid man, stuck between thoughts of friendship and lust. God, he wasnât helping with the latter.
âLoganâ
âIâm sorryâ he said looking as remorseful as he could under the circumstances.
âWhat did you need to talk about that couldnât wait Lo?â You swallowed, gently lifting your hand and placing it on his chest, pushing lightly. His hands moved to your legs keeping you from pushing him further.
âYa told me to find you when I figured out what I wantedâ
âYeahâ You scoffed. âEnlighten meâ
~~~
âI want youâ
Logan leaned over you, his hands sliding up your thighs to rest on your hips. His fingers dug in lightly, the movement making your legs feel like jelly. You gripped his shoulders to steady yourself. He was so firm and warm under your hands.
His face was inches from yours, his expression unreadable in the low lighting. You smelled the smoke and alcohol on his breath.
âGod, do you ever suck on anything other than Wadeâs dick and cheap cigars?â
He leaned in close to your ear and growled,Â
âYa looking to find out princess?â
You felt a ping of desire sink into your lower belly as his hand moved from your waist.
Shivers went down your spine as his hands slid up your torso coming to a stop right below your breasts. One of his thumbs brushed upwards lightly, teasingly.
You sucked in a breath as he lowered his face to your neck and brushed a kiss to the sensitive skin. His facial hair tickling your jaw.
âLogan, youâre drunk.â You croaked out, pulling away slightly, your hands sliding from his shoulders. He moved with you.
You felt his lips brush your skin again, another kiss, before his thumb slid upward against your breast. Fuck. The wet heat between your legs was unbearable. You needed some sort of friction. You definitely noticed the pressure from his pants pressed against your stomach. So close, you just needed anything. You bucked your hips against his, almost involuntarily, causing a rumble to escape his throat. His thumb stroked again.
âThatâs a good girlâ His head bobbed lower dragging his tongue down as he kissed your neck. You could feel him smile as he sucked the skin of your collar bone in a way that would definitely leave a mark. Holy Hell. What was happening.
You were sick of your neck getting all the attention as you reached up to take his face in your hand. He practically melted at your touch, his breath hitching as you stroked his cheek with your thumb. You wanted him, needed his mouth on yours. You pulled his face up, a little roughly, to meet your gaze. You thought you heard him let out a little surprised chuckle from the movement. His eyes were half lidded as he met yours. He was drunk, and you realized, so were you. You leaned in, your lips feather light against his-
You jumped at Wadeâs voice from the other side of the door, calling for you.
Shit. You dropped your hand away from his face.
Logan growled, low and angry. He abruptly took his hot hands from your body and leaned his head to your ear, you felt his lips against your skin.
âSome other time then, darlinâ.â He pulled away from you swaying slightly, before grabbing his beer from the counter and yanking open the bathroom door.
~~~
Anyway, thanks for reading. I guess I donât know if this is any good and I will be posting the rest on Ao3 eventually
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