#I just had to answer to this anon in the best way possible and analyzing every frame of this thing seems to be the only way possible

[beauty-and-passion]

This is going to sound really strange but the most recent GRWM video has. Some of the best Janus characterisation I think we’ve seen in a while?? Also he canonically sheds now, so

You are not wrong, anon: this is the best characterization in a while. It's way better than the last one, in which Janus was mostly a drunk idiot, and it's way worse than SvS. This one sits in the middle: it's not bad, it's not amazing. It's good.

Just like Mr. Sanders' last videos regarding Sanders Sides, this GRWM is okay. Not groundbreaking, not impressive, not deep, not stupid. Just okay.

And trust me, this is the best possible outcome! When I found out Thomas was planning a video with Janus and it was a GRWM and Janus had questions to answer... I wasn't just scared, oh no. I was absolutely terrified. I feared to see the destruction of Janus' character. I feared to see him being all like: "YASSS QUEEN all I love is WINE and nothing else, also being SASSY is my religion BIATCH".

And we got a bit of that, sure. But it was a bit, not the avalanche I expected. I was bearable.

After all, this is just a random video. There's nothing plot-related here. Heck, there's not even too much Sanders Sides stuff, because this GRWM clearly was Thomas' attempts to reconnect with the character. I shouldn't care too much about it. I shouldn't overanalyze it.

But you know me: you know I love to over-analyze. And if you know me, you also know that Remus is my favorite child, but Janus has a special place in my heart and if one little thing about him is off I will start rambling.

Hence why I will overanalyze the shit out of these 9 minutes of a video and I will do what I shouldn't do, i.e. look back into the past's characterization. Not for shaming Mr. Sanders for not remembering it (even if the videos still exist and he can watch them too if he wants), but to remind you all of Janus' personality. The public needs to remember what kind of character he was and who he became.

So I'll over-analyze everything and no, you can't escape. You're stuck with me here, so put your seatbelt on, because you're in for one of the things I love the most: talking about Janus.

The importance of nuance

Let's talk about make-up a little bit. Don't worry, by the end you will understand my point.

The current make-up isn't even comparable to the past one. And if a lot of people complain about it and prefer the old one, it's not because they're all demanding: it's because of nuances.

Let me explain and let's start with the current photo Mr. Sanders showed to promote the GRWM video:

If you look at this make-up, your eyes will inevitably be drawn towards that sharp black line. And as soon as you will look at it, you will immediately register it as a drawn line.

It's so clear and so evident it's a line, I can literally see the black liquid eyeliner, the tip and the hand tracing that line on Thomas' skin.

But this line isn't supposed to be a line: it's supposed to be/resemble a snake's mouth.

Now, look at the past make-up:

The line isn't sharp black: the line is nuanced. You can see a bit of brown and a hint of red/pink to give it depth and emphasize the shadow.

Also, this color is very similar to the little shadow given by Thomas' upper lip on the lower one, so it looks more natural against his skin tone. It doesn't seem like something added on him, but on something that was already part of him. And isn't that the goal of make-up? To add something and disappear, so people won't notice it exists in the first place?

Look at the eye as well: the past one is a softer, more nuanced pink. It looks more natural, against Thomas' skin tone. The present one is so dark, it looks more like a bad bruise.

So the problem with the current make-up isn't just that the colors aren't the same: it's that the current colors are too much. They're too sharp, too saturated and, consequently, too fake. It's clear that Thomas wears make-up, while in the past the blend was softer, the colors closer to Thomas' actual complexion. Consequently, the make-up faded and gave us an illusion of reality.

I know Mr. Sanders had skin conditions and everything, but I'm talking about colors and nuances here. Two things a make-up artist should know better than me, an idiot on the Internet who loves art, color theory and learns from artists on the web. You can obtain these things independently of the used products.

So my opinion on the make-up would be: please Mr. Sanders, switch for softer tones, no sharp black and no coral. Too much. Nuance is the key.

And not just for make-up.

---

The fakeness of reality tv

Janus enjoys reality television because nothing about it is real. His specific words are:

I very much enjoy reality television: the scheming, the plotting, the lying. Every person for himself and even on top of that, all of the production none of reality television is actually real. It's just delightful.

I get the idea behind it and I understand why Thomas thought it was a good choice. On paper, it works: Janus should enjoy this kind of show because it's made of lies and he's Deceit.

But if I follow this line of thought, I inevitably meet with Janus from Into the Unknown:

[Patton]: Well yeah I guess you'd like it, everyone all dressed up, disguised as someone else... [Janus]: How is it we've had so many of these visits and you still know so little about me?

Janus himself said that not everything associated with lies is something he enjoys. And it makes sense, because Logan too said the same thing in the last Aside:

"Is that all I am to you? The reading guy?"

So now I'm asking: why does he like reality tv? Just because it's fake? Then why is he so happy about it being fake? Reality tv should represent reality, it should mirror how society works. And thanks to SvS, we know Janus doesn't hold society into high consideration:

[Deceit]: Society itself is a lie! (...) You get enough people to share a piece of land and breathe the same air and... you've got a society. Why? It's just a bunch of people in the same general area. It's an abstract concept, as real as the monster under your bed! But we obey these rules or get punished for breaking them. All in the name of society. It's absurd and terrifying.

Just like society, reality tv has a group of people put together and they make a society. It's an abstract concept, as real as the monster under your bed. And these people must obey the rules or get punished for breaking them.

And yet, Janus doesn't think reality tv is "absurd and terrifying", but "delightful".

Again: why does he like it? Why does he like something so similar to what he hates most?

Maybe you can live with the "It's fake" explanation and that's good for you. But what if instead of liking reality tv because "it's fake", Janus likes it, because it perfectly mirrors the flaws and the emptiness of society? What if he enjoys it, because he loves the irony of society using its own means to unmask itself and show its real face? What if he watches it, not because "it's delightful", but because it's bittersweet to see such an inability to understand your own flaws?

Which explanation do you think is more fitting for his character?

---

Remus eats glue sticks

Of course he does. His digestive system is probably able to digest molten lava, so glue sticks are a walk in the park for him, bless his chaotic soul <3

(Have I already said Remus is my favorite boi?)

---

The possibilities of shedding

Okay, the "Have you considered not having pores?" is hilarious and I love it on multiple levels.

Well, here we are. Janus sheds, two to four times a year. And I know the fandom went crazy over this and I'm happy for you... but I never really cared too much about it.

I mean: it's fine, but I can't really think of anything truly special to headcanon about it. Snakes shed their skin all the time and they just chill around, while slowly peeling their skin off. It's not dangerous, it doesn't hurt, it's just exfoliation time✨. I mean, does it hurt you, when you remove sunburnt skin? Don't think so. The worst thing for snakes is probably not being able to take the skin off with hands, since they don't have hands.

But hey, this is canon now, so I should probably integrate it in my headcanon. And I can do it in two different ways:

The shedding is just part of Janus' routine: twice a year he gets one day off, takes a reeeeally long bath and slowly peels off his skin until he's done.

I can take inspiration from this fanart and imagine the shedding as a real "leaving your body behind" process, in which Janus slowly gets submerged into his room and re-emerges as a form of pure power and instincts, which then solidifies into a new body. I think I like this idea more, because when I go with Janus, I need something that makes him look either more god-like or more monster-like.

And since we're talking about snake traits, how many more does he have? Because I already added a few on my list, like:

sunbathing

climbing trees

laying everywhere (especially on trees)

taking long relaxing baths

And I'm just waiting for an excuse to add "mating". But I suppose only future will tell.

---

What you don't like

"An important aspect of being oneself, in addition to knowing what you like, is knowing what you don't like and saying to that thing: ew get away from me, I don't like you... Roman"

Okay, that was genuinely funny and it made me smile, so kudos for that, Mr. Sanders. It was a clever move and I enjoyed it.

Also, for more reasons I will explain further down, this makes me want to write a conversation between Janus and Roman, to study how they work together, why they don't like each other and their personalities in general. My only problem would be to put it on a timeline, because I don't like to write things suspended in a temporal vacuum. If inspiration strikes, maybe I'll do it.

---

Religion... and self-preservation

Now, I don't know who made that question about Jesus Christ, but you. You. You gave me real fear... but also indirectly confirmed one of my headcanons, so thank you, I suppose.

I was bracing myself, waiting and hoping Thomas didn't say anything stupid, because Janus and religion have a super tight bond and one misstep can lead to me rambling for the rest of my life, all while throwing canon into the trash because no one can say anything wrong about the relationship Janus has with religion, not even Mr. Sanders.

But the answer was... okay. Harmless. A bit simplistic, maybe, but I can accept Janus saying that Jesus is cool for having followers and turning water into wine.

What really struck me the most was when he said Jesus is his style because "he refuses to die".

For me, that's the most important part of the video. You can take away everything else, because this is the only part that matters for me.

Why? Because this is the essence of self-preservation. Because, as I said in the past, self-preservation is that force that protects you from dangers, threats, even yourself. And it protects you from death. It's part of that intrinsic will to live that defines all living creatures.

So, since Janus encompasses this role too, it has always been implied (at least for me) that he's that force that will fight against death until the end, just to make Thomas live a little longer. In my headcanon, he literally refuses to think Thomas can die before his time, because he's built to not make this happen.

Hence why when I saw Janus putting such emphasis on the idea that Jesus refuses to die made me immensely happy, because it's (implied) canon. Janus refuses to die, because he will never surrender to death. Because it's his nature, to never surrender to it.

---

Deceit or Ego?

The snake telepathy part was fun when mentioned, then it was followed by the "memememe I'm gorgeous" part, which is perfect if you're the representation of Ego, a bit less if you're deceit.

Speaking of that, I think there's a bit of confusion in Thomas' mind regarding these two aspects. And since they're represented by two different Sides, the contrast is even more jarring.

Janus is confident and this is part of his personality. But confidence isn't repeating "me" in your head 400 times and telling yourself that you're gorgeous and handsome even when sitting still. This isn't confidence, this is Ego. This is something Roman could say to himself... and he did it, in the past. He looked at himself all the time, called himself gorgeous, asked if his makeup was okay because the prince's gonna slay, said he dramatically serenaded himself in front of the mirror. All these things are a constant reconfirmation of yourself and this is what the Ego does: it constantly reconfirms you're great and cool and gorgeous.

Confidence, on the other hand, doesn't need constant confirmations. If you're confident, you already know you're great, you don't need to repeat it yourself. You just do your things and if others criticize you, you shrug their reprimands off.

One example of confidence from this video? This part:

"What are my guilty pleasures?" Guilty pleasures? Why would a pleasure be guilty? I've got none of those. Indulge in your pleasures guilt-free, people: life is short.

This proves Janus is confident, WAY MORE than him repeating how cool he is. This is the tone he should've had for most of the video, not that "Oh, look at how cool I am".

Also because it may seem a paradox, but the more you repeat how cool you are, the less people will believe you. That's why people who constantly show off are perceived as weak and insecure: because they search for a constant reconfirmation they would probably never need, if they were truly confident.

---

All of the selfcare - and what else?

Aside from the things I already mentioned, the rest of the video is mostly made of advice like "your opinion is the only one that matters/others are less than you/don't give a shit about others".

I don't know if this is Mr. Sanders making a reminder to himself to not indulge in criticism too much, but okay, let's ignore it XD

These pieces of advice can all be traced back to another aspect of Janus' personality: the self-care one. The last canonical one.

And since it's the last, I can understand why Thomas latched onto it and made it be like 60% of the video. It's probably the part of Janus' character he remembers the most.

And it's the easiest too, along with the "sassy" aspect. Put them together and you get the sassy queen who tells you to relax dear, don't give a fuck about the rest of the world.

So I understand you, anon, when you say this is the best characterization in a while: it is, because it's based on the last canonical piece of Janus' character, mixed with the "sassy" aspect that developed more recently. Of course it seems more coherent with Janus' character, compared to him being drunk for an entire video.

But even if canonical, self-care is just an aspect of Janus' personality and it makes most of the video. The remaining part is a huge amount of Ego, which shouldn't even be here, because it's Roman's trait.

And the other aspects? Nowhere to be seen. No distaste for society, no cryptic language, no wittiness, barely any lie, barely any real confidence, barely any body language and zero foreseeing ability.

I know what you're thinking and yes, I said at the beginning that this video is clearly just a way for Mr. Sanders to reconnect with the character. So I understand why Janus' personality is like that and that there are mistakes or incomplete things. I am not blaming Thomas for trying.

I am writing this post, to remind you Janus' full personality. To remind you that he's not just "sassy wine aunt/self-care queen".

On the contrary, I think present Janus is exactly like his make-up: the traits are similar to the original one, but the aspects are too sharp. They should be here, they are part of him, but they're not in the exact shade or nuance to be him. They are similar, but off, because something is missing. And that something is nuance.

In the end, that's what this post is all about: nuance. Past Janus was more nuanced, because he was more than one aspect. Present Janus is less nuanced, because he's stuck between two aspects - which is a truly cruel irony, considering his entire thing is being a gray, multifaceted character.

My only hope is that, just like with the make-up, Mr. Sanders will find a way to bring nuances back into Janus' character and make him at least similar to who he used to be.

[moonspirit]

Hi! I'm the same Anon who asked about the hypothetical situation of Annie NOT crystalising herself and the other possible set of events occurring. I read your thoughts and I honestly never even thought about another Kenny and Annie reunion and just.. talking, quite interesting! (Not to mention Pam's own idea that they wrote - I like it!) Including another mentioning a fic where Annie sees her Dad as a Titan during the second Colossal Titan attack and.. I may had a pretty devious idea. So, let's say Annie did in some way join the Scouts (or just is betraying the Warriors,) so during the mission to retake Shinganshina and there's the scene where Zeke & the mindless Titan's appear, what if one of those mindless creatures was her Dad? (This next part, I'm somewhat iffy since it really feels I mis-characterised her since I tend to mess up, so my apologies!) I'm not sure HOW it could play out then, maybe Annie in some desperate attempt to hold her Dad down so it's not mauled by Levi or Zeke. Though, one thing is clear, she sees the Colossal Titan going down and realises that in some selfish way.. she could bring her Dad back, it'll be a curse he'll bare too but at least she'll see him. And oh.. That's Armin. Completely charred, yet still breathing. With the Scouts debating whenever to save Erwin or Armin. This is all I have before I genuinely write more nonsense, I appreciate taking your time to answer my previous question. Please, have a lovely day! (AND I'M SO SORRY FOR HOW WORDY THIS IS)

Oohhhh hello again anon! I'm honestly so relieved you saw my answer because you sent me the ask on sept 19th and... I took nearly a month to answer - very sorry T^T But I enjoyed it so much and yes, the variety of thoughts on it have been incredibly interesting!

Some quick things first tho 1. you don't have to apologise for a long-ask, they are genuinely enjoyable xD 2. I don't think there's such a thing as mis-characterization especially when we talk about a completely new what-if scenario because there's soooooo many little things influencing a person's thoughts and actions and the resultant outcomes. So nope, there are only headcanons, they are all valid, and you don't need to worry about anything else :>

Now to your ask!

🙃

How dare you now bring THREE contenders for the serum with Annie in the mess? Erwin, I don't see her caring for, but now it's Armin vs. her Dad?

What in the gut-wrenching angst is this, holy shit anon 🥲

But no, genuinely I don't think Annie trying to protect her father from Levi's attacks is out of character for her. That is her DAD. She may have joined the Scouts as you say, but maybe that's because it's her best chance for survival. Betraying the warriors isn't Annie's concern, it's betraying her dad. At any cost, even by joining the scouts, she must return to him.

Only, she probably didn't expect to see him in Paradis, and as a titan no less.

Of course she's abandoning everything else (let's say she doesn't know of Armin's plan) and rushing to protect her father and get him out of the line of fire - perhaps by taking him down in her titan form and dragging him to safety, using her scream to summon other pure titans to whoever is attacking and using the time to do so.

(wait... now I suddenly have the mental picture of Annie and Zeke engaging in a screaming match 🥲)

Her sudden switch in priorities isn't likely to bode well with the others, especially when so much is happening and the Scouts find themselves in a dangerously cornered pinch.

Annie's very good at analyzing a situation and quickly making problem-solving decisions, given two options, she chooses the one in which she has a greater chance of survival (yet sometimes she also willingly walks in to dead ends thanks to her heart, but that's canon). Like leaving Marco on the roof vs saving him, but now..... now we have an extreme situation.

Say she thought immediately crosses her mind - of feeding her father the colossal once she learns it's been taken down. She may not have become attached to Bertholdt as much as she considered him a companion in their mission and someone from home, but he's still... a companion. A fellow warrior.

How do you feed such a person to your father?

And then of course:

That's Armin. Completely charred, yet still breathing.

How do you save your father at the cost of losing the one boy who makes your heart beat faster than the wind?

The one boy you swore you'd protect, as long as you wore the wings of freedom by his side.

The one boy who's looked you in the eyes and said I love you.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

[cosmicjoke]

Hello :)

I’ve seen you write essay-like long posts about Attack on Titan and analyzing this complex story in depth, which I love. For me personally, it’s been a long while since I watched it and I currently don’t have the time to rewatch it. But I think it’s a story that has to be experienced at least twice to fully understand it, because the story isn’t told linearly and having certain things in mind while watching earlier scenes reframes everything.

Someday I’m gonna do just that. But until I can, I’m going to rely on your takes and my fuzzy memory of the events to feed my hunger for “food for thought”. Even though it’s been so long, I still can’t stop thinking about the story, as there’s just so much to unpack. With that in mind, could you (only if you have the time and the willingness to do so, of course) give your detailed opinion on as to WHY Eren felt like he had to do the horrible things he did?

It’s obvious, especially from the last conversation he had with Armin in the anime, that he does KNOW that what he did was morally wrong. So why then, did he still do it? That’s what I can’t wrap my head around. The reasons for his actions.

Like, even if it was due to his innate, selfish desire for freedom, it’s still obvious that he knew it would lead to his death. He had the power to stop the remaining scouts from killing him, he could have used his titan powers to stop them, but he didn’t. In that conversation scene with Armin, it seemed like he knew his own death was inevitable. So why didn’t he prevent that? What was the point of flattening the earth for his idea of freedom if he doesn’t stick around to see the results of his actions? Was it actually his plan to rid the world of the titans? I discussed his with a friend who said Eren did everything because “it was the only outcome he saw among all the possible outcomes that would get rid of the titan powers — because only in a world without titan powers can the Eldian people actually be free.”

But Eren did so many things that were detrimental to the Eldians, individual and as a whole, like in the raid on Liberio, where he not only killed innocent Eldians, but also made the world actively hate Paradis, that it seems to me he didn’t actually do it for the sake of the Eldians

(Though my friend would argue that Eren saw every possible future and there simply isn’t a future where his goal is achieved without hurting at least some Eldians. And that his version, while hurting some, still hurt the least of them. But that just doesn’t sit right with me.) But again, if he actually did do it for selfish reasons, which is what I’m leaning towards, then why would he be alright with dying, aka giving up on his self? Trying to understand that dude just frustrates me, so I thought maybe you could shed some light on this with your theories on him.

(I’m on anon to help keep toxic Eren fanatics off my back and I don’t have the balls to deal with them, lol.)

Hi there, and thank you for the ask!

I've talked a lot about Eren and his motivations on my blog, which you can probably find if you just search his name on my blog. But I'll give it my best shot answering here as well.

First off, I'll just say that the way you're leaning is the right way. Eren didn't do what he did for anyone but himself, and that's sort of the point of his entire character. The theme of dreams and needing to be able to let go of them is a pronounced one in AoT, and Eren, in the end, is the purest example of someone who wasn't able to do so, and that ties into his lack of maturity. He never progresses past his childish whims or desires. He never grows up. That's why we see him appear as a child during the Rumbling. Because that's who he really is and who's he's always been. The Rumbling itself is a manifestation of Eren's truest nature and desires.

Second, your friend is wrong about the "possible futures" Eren sees. Eren doesn't see multiple futures. He only sees one future, which is the only future. People don't get how time works in AoT, which is understandable. Anytime you're dealing with time travel, it gets confusing. I didn't get it at first myself. But basically, the only reason Eren sees the future he does is because it's the only future there is. If there was some other possibility, some other course he took, he wouldn't have seen the future he did at all. It only exists because he literally willed it into being. We see this through the course of Eren's actions in manipulating past events, once he gains control of the Founding Titan's powers. He literally manipulates events to ensure he'll end up with the power to commit the Rumbling. The way he manipulates Grisha into killing Frieda and taking her power, the way he redirects Dina's Titan away from Bertolt to eat Eren's own mother, setting off the events which will lead to him gaining the power to wipe out humanity. Eren very literally orchestrates the events which lead to the future he saw. So there are no multiple or possible futures for Eren to "choose from". There's just the one, and the one future he sees exists because what he does is what he was always going to do.

The point of us being shown the equally devastating results for the Eldian's as the rest of humanity is to drive home that what Eren is doing isn't to save the Eldian people at all, or even his friends. He's willing to murder the entire population of Eldian's outside of the Walls, which no doubt outnumbers the number of the island. He doesn't care. Sasha dying, Hange dying, Levi almost dying, etc... all of that is meant to drive home this point. Eren isn't doing it for them, or for anyone, other than himself. As he confesses to Ramzi, and then later to Armin, he "had to do it" because he "wanted to do it". He says to Ramzi, when he finds out that humanity existed beyond the Walls, that he was "so disappointed". He confesses this to him while sobbing, because what Eren is confessing here is that he wanted to destroy humanity beyond the walls to make it match his childish vision of what the world should have looked like beyond the Walls. He wanted it to look like the images in Armin's book, a vast, unexplored, untouched wilderness, just for him. And when he discovered humanity existed beyond the walls, it shattered that vision for him.

To answer your specific question about why Eren didn't stop his friends from stopping him, it comes down to Eren attempting to cope with his own monstrosity. Throughout the lead up to Eren's actions, and even during, Eren tries to cope with his own, monstrous nature by telling both himself and others that he's doing it "for them". He lies. He's lying to the rest of the 104th when he tells them, before they leave for Marley, that he just wants to protect all of them. He was already planning on betraying all of them. He was already working with Floch at that point, in coordination with Yelena and Zeke. He'd already told Historia his real plans, to betray Zeke and enact a full scale Rumbling, this fully 9 months before they ever left for Marley. The Scouts success or failure to negotiate with Marley had nothing to do with Eren's decision. He'd already decided what he was going to do before they ever set foot there. Eren's depression as he's walking around Marley and thinking to himself that none of these people are his enemy, his realization that all of these people are innocent, is because, confronted with that reality, he's no longer able to hide behind the excuse of protecting his friends or the island from an impending threat. He realizes, in that moment, that the future he sees, that him unleashing a full scale Rumbling, is purely the result of his own, selfish desire. Which, again, is to create the world he saw in Armin's book, his own, personal idea of freedom. We see Eren continue to drink the copium though, even after this point. For example, when he grabs Hange through the bars of his cell and screams at her that he saw no other choice because of her supposed failure to come up with a real solution. Pure deception, both of Hange and himself. Eren never even gave Hange's plan to negotiate a chance. He disappeared and kicked off his plans with Zeke before anyone from the Scouts had a chance to even attempt negotiations. And this, too, is why Eren doesn't attempt to stop the Alliance from stopping him. It's a giant cope. Eren tells himself and them that he's not going to stop them because freedom is the most important thing to him, and that he loves and cares about all of them too much to impede on their freedom of choice. Again, this is a lie on Eren's part. He's already impeded on their freedom, multiple times, particularly in his forcing them to rescue him from Liberio and backing them into a corner, taking away their choice, by forcing them to accept his and Zeke's plan and forcing them into a conflict which they'd all expressed a desire to and were attempting to avoid. He tries to tell Historia that he's doing it for her, too, that he's just safeguarding her freedom, while in the same breath, disregarding Historia's already stated decision to inherit Zeke's Beast Titan.

The truth is, Eren doesn't care about anybody else's freedom but his own. Again and again, he impedes on and takes away the freedom of others, including his closest friends, all in service to realizing his own, personal sense of freedom. He tells them that he isn't stopping them from fighting him because he respects their freedom, but again, this is just a giant cope on Eren's part. He allows them to come after him because its his way of coping with his sense of guilt and self-loathing. The same way he continues to lie, up to the very end, when he tells all the members of the Alliance (except Levi, who I've posited Eren doesn't speak to at all), that he did what he did to "make them all into heroes". Another, giant cope. A lie he fabricates because he can't deal with any of them knowing the truth. He tells all of them this, but it's only Armin whom he confesses the truth to. He can't lie to his best friend, and that's why we see Eren tell Armin that he knew, from his vision of the future, that he would fail to wipe out all of humanity, and that because of it, he would only imperil his friends and the island further, because naturally, the world would want revenge for Eren's actions, and yet he still went through with it. Why? If he really cared so much about his friends or the rest of the Eldian people, why would he continue to go through with a plan that he knew would end up only endangering them further, would only continue the cycle of hate and war? Because, again, Eren never actually cared about any of that. All he cared about was experiencing his own, personal sense of freedom. He was so driven, and so compelled toward it, that even knowing he would fail, he couldn't help himself. Eren doesn't find out he's going to fail until Ymir lends him her power. He finds out he fails to wipe out all of humanity in that moment, and yet he pushes on in his actions. He could have stopped right then and there, before a single Wall Titan was unleashed, but he continues on. Again, because Eren is compelled by his very own, restless nature, to do what he did.

Eren is bored. That's what it boils down to. The scene near the beginning of the story, when we see Eren sitting, staring up at the sky, and he says "I wish something would happen"? That right there encapsulates the entirety of why Eren does what he does. He's doomed to be perpetually unsatisfied and bored with his existence. He had a good and happy life, and it wasn't enough. And wiping out all of humanity wouldn't have been enough, either. He convinced himself it would quench his thirst for freedom, but the reality for Eren is, nothing was ever going to achieve that for him. Again, his very nature renders it impossible. He's always dissatisfied, and always "wants something to happen". It's why he kills Mikasa's kidnappers. It's not because Eren cared about saving Mikasa (he didn't even know her at that point), it's because he wanted something to happen. Because he was bored. Eren could have easily listened to his father and waited for the proper authorities to come. The same way he could have allowed the Survey Corps to actually attempt negotiations before deciding he just "had to" enact the Rumbling, or he could have gone with Zeke's plan of a limited Rumbling. Again, it's not what Eren wanted, though, in either case. He wanted destruction, he wanted chaos, he wanted something to happen to disrupt and tear apart his mundane existence.

The shot of Eren standing atop his massive Attack Titan, near the end, with his arms spread wide and a look of pure elation on his face as he says "Freedom!", that's Eren getting to experience what he aimed to. The world is crushed and left desolated beneath him. Remember, Eren destroys 80% of the world's population, and that's enough for Eren to feel he's achieved what he set out to. To experience a desolate world free of humanity. But again, this is Eren coping. He's trying to immerse himself in the feeling of "freedom" as a way to distract himself from the horror and nightmare below. He finally feels what it's like to be in a world that looks like the pictures in Armin's book, but it's still not enough. It's never going to be enough. Eren realizes this. He gets to feel what it's like to be "totally free" from the expectations and demands of others, and yet he's still dissatisfied. It doesn't quell the restless dissatisfaction that defines Eren's core.

This leads into your last question, about why Eren doesn't stop the Alliance from killing him, so he can experience the results of his actions. Eren is already going to die. He knows his time is short, that he only has a few more years left to live at this point. Eren is compelled forward to enact the Rumbling, regardless of this, because again, he can't help himself. He's totally driven by his own desires. Again, up to the point Ymir lends him her power, Eren thinks he's going to succeed in destroying all of humanity. Upon realizing he won't, that his friends and comrades are going to stop him, he still feels that same drive and desire to go through with his plan anyway, again, because it's what he wants, it's the only thing he really wants, and nothing is going to stop him from trying to take it, even as he knows he won't succeed.

Eren loves his friends. He cares about them. He doesn't want to hurt them or endanger them. But as we see from his childhood on, Eren is someone who's always going to put his own desires above their well being. It's why we see him constantly getting into fights as a child, despite the burden it places on Mikasa, despite his mother asking him to stop. He forces Mikasa to chase after him and place herself into situations she doesn't want for herself, and Eren enacting the Rumbling and forcing the Alliance to chase after him is the exact same scenario, only writ large. He's forcing his friends to chase after him and try and stop him from causing trouble. Again, though, at the same time, Eren doesn't want to actually hurt them. He's so guilt ridden over Sasha and Hange because he knows his actions led to their deaths, and he never wanted that. But as ever, he couldn't help himself. He couldn't keep himself from putting his own desires over their well being. Again, Eren lets his friends come after him as a way to cope with the crushing guilt of his own, monstrous nature and actions. He doesn't stop them because it's his only way to sooth his inner turmoil, to tell himself he allowed them their freedom of choice.

But once again, the inherent contradiction in that is that Eren already took away their freedom of choice, and still continues to here, by forcing them into a situation not of their own choosing. He forces all of them to fight him to the death, despite having considered him a friend and comrade. He forces Mikasa to have to kill him, which goes against everything Mikasa herself ever truly wanted. He forces them all into a position of having to kill their own, former comrades who have become Yeagerists, something he specifically mentions to Armin at the end. He's still taking away their freedom, but he deludes himself into thinking otherwise by letting them come after him at all. He's able to do this because he still succeeds in achieving that supposed feeling of freedom he set out to gain. He's still able to experience "Freedom!", as he says, without stopping them. But all one has to do is look at Eren's actions before this, in the lead up to the Rumbling, to know that, had his friends and comrades actually threatened his ability in any way to get to this end point, he would have acted in whatever ways necessary to stop them. It's the reason he doesn't tell anyone about the vision of the future he had. Because he knows if he did, they would stop him. And if he had been willing to tell anyone of his vision, he would have seen a completely different vision, anyway. He would have seen a future in which his friends stop him from enacting the Rumbling at all. It's why he lies and distances himself from everybody. It's why he forces them into a conflict they'd all been trying so hard to avoid. It's why he makes Grisha kill Frieda and the entire Reiss family. It's why he kills his own mother. It's why he's able to accept Sasha dying, and Hange dying, and Levi almost dying. It's all in service to him gaining the power to enact the Rumbling, to make sure events unfold in the exact way he needs them to to get to that end point. He would have been willing to kill anyone to gain that power, the same way he was willing to kill all of humanity just to experience what he deluded himself into believing was true freedom. Once he has that power, he's able to enact his plan, and everything after that doesn't matter. His friends and comrades can come after him. They can do whatever they want. Because Eren already got what he wanted. He's already getting to live out his own desires, and once more, he's able to assuage his guilt by telling himself that he's allowing his friends the freedom to try and stop him.

Anyway, I hope this helps answer at least some of your questions. The only way to understand Eren's actions is to accept his selfish, childish nature, and how he was always going to do what he did, not because it was inevitable or because he had no other choice, but because it was what he wanted to do. Nothing was ever going to stop him from doing what he wanted.

[dumbass-tumbler-cryptid]

Hi, I'm wondering if you've watched/read The Hunger Games and if so, what do you think it would be like in the world of Avatar? (I mean the district of the characters, who would be from the Capitol and who would be in the arena, etc.) I just came back from the movie The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and Spider reminds me a lot of the character of Sejanus lol

Hello! I'm not the biggest Hunger Games fan to be honest. I think it just got over hyped for me. The series was everywhere back when I was in middle school. I read the first two book but I think they might have been above my reading level at the time so i didn't understand them very well back then. I saw movies one through three but I just didn't care enough to see Mockingjay part 2 so to this day I never have. None of this to say I disliked the series. I find a lot about it very interesting actually. And also while watching explainer videos on the Hunger Games series to refresh my memory on what happens to answer your ask, it kinda made me want to try reading the series again. Or at least watch all the movies. So thanks for possibly sparking a side obsession anon, lol.

Anyway I've got tones of ideas for this Au.

To start off with lets break down all the parent.

First off Quaritch and Paz are both from district 7. Quaritch came from a more wealthy carpentry family and Paz comes from the poorest section of district 7 the Yard. Quaritch was reaped for the Hunger Games when he was 15 and was an absolute monster, zeroing in on an ax placed in the cornucopia and immediately using it to butcher the careers. It was one of the fastest, most brutal Hunger Games on record.

His parents where so disgusted with him afterwards that they disowned him. Not that he cared. He had a sweet set up in the victors village. No neighbors, just complete and utter peace (accept for the constant memories of the hellish things he'd done that plagued his every sleepless night) He was forced to become a mentor after that. He did his best every year to try and help his charges survive. They just never did.

After some years of mentoring he met Paz Socorro. She was the daughter of two criminals who where long since passed leaving her an orphan of the yard. She didn't cry or scream like many other did when she was reaped. The seventeen year old held her head high, marched onto the stage and with a biting smirk said "this fucking sucks." Paz was charismatic as hell during her interview charming the Capital with her surprising wit and beauty for someone as low born as her. Quaritch was very impressed by not only this but her physical prowess as well. She was surprisingly strong, agile as hell, and well versed in poisonous flora and fauna. But only in front of him. During training she was weak and helpless, "pathetically" watching everyone else unable to do anything but look pretty for the cameras. She purposely tanks her training score (an act that drives Quaritch insane). No one sees her as a threat in the slightest. During the games she simply runs away, not bothering to take a single thing from the cornucopia. Instead she hides. She's so well hidden that even the camera have trouble finding her sometimes. She sneaks around her forest arena stealing useful objects off of dead bodies, watching her opponents from the shadows as they pick each other off. She analyzes her surrounding for things that can be useful as well. edible plants, drinkable water. And a nest of extremely venomous mutant spiders that she's very familiar with from back home. Luckily she also knows what plants they hate and makes a repellent so the spiders won't bite her. But they will attack the group of careers that are hunting her down before they start killing each other. She purposely leaves her tracks all the way to the spiders nest, disturbing them so they attack, doing most of her dirty work for her. For the last remaining tribute that only narrowly avoided the archaeid trap Paz brutally bludgeoned him to death with a large rock thus winning the games.

She moved into the victors village after that. President Snow tried to force Paz into prostitution much like Johanna Mason in the series but here she could basically just laugh in his face and tell him to fuck off. She was beloved by the Capital and had no family or friends that he could hold hostage or kill out of revenge. He had no power over her. And so Snow left waiting for the day when he could seek revenge against the woman the defied him. Paz lived alone for a long time. Her and Quaritch never really talked much until it had been a full ten years since her Hunger Games. Then she went up to him one day while he was woodworking in his backyard and in a voice that was surprisingly soft for such a brash woman asked, "does it ever get easier. living with the..."

"no." Quaritch answered. they started spending more time together after that slowly but surely building a bond neither ever believed themselves capable of after everything they'd been through.

Tonowari and Ronal are obviously from district 4 and competed in the games in different years, Tonowari at 15, Ronal at 17. They both managed to win in their respective games because the arena was aquatic themed in those years, giving them the advantage.

Next Grace, Jake, and Neytiri are all from district 11

Grace was 15 when she was in the Hunger Games, getting by in a similar way to Paz using her mind more than sheer force, setting deadly traps all over the arena that eventually lead to her victory. She became a mentor after that. She was there for Jake when he volunteered at 16. Jake comes from a wealthy family in the Estates in district 11. His father was a peacekeeper. Jake never planned on volunteering for the games and hoped his name would never be drawn but he alway tried to prepare for the possibility, keeping physically fit, training with his father's guns, and any other weapon he could get his hands on. If nothing else Jake could always become a peacekeeper like his father and excelle through the ranks with his skill. His twin brother Tom was never interested in such things. Said the odds where to low to worry about either of them ever being reaped. So it came as quite the shock to him when his name was called. Jake knew his brother would never be able to survive and so he volunteered to go instead. And the Capital loved him for it. Jake was great on camera, he earned a 7 training score, and got a lot of sponsors. He was able to win but the final fight was brutal. He delivered the finishing blow to career from district 2, right as the other guy stabbed a knife right through Jake's low back severing his spinal cord and instantly paralyzing him.

Neytiri was reaped and won at age 15, two year after Jake. Her older sister Sylwanin had been reaped and killed in the games a few year before and it had devastated her. She was terrifed of being reaped herself one day but couldn't let that fear take over her life. And so she trained. Her parents were extremely supportive not wanting to lose another child. Her father helping her make her bow, and would help her train in the dead of night, keeping watch for peacekeepers. Her mother taught her all about deadly flora and fauna. She was well prepared when they called her name. Neytiri amazed all of Panem with her ability with a bow and arrow, her animal like veracity, surprising stealth and impressive nature knowledge. She let most of the tributes pick each other off, carving out her own little territory to hide in the meantime, killing anyone that came close. In the end when there were only a few left she snuck up on them in the dead of night and went beast mode (I'm pretty much thinking about that scene from Way of Water)

When Neytiri got to the victors village Jake was immediately enamored by her. Neytiri wanted nothing to do with him. But much like Quaritch and Paz, Jake and Neytiri found it hard to relate to other after everything they'd been through and took solace in each other.

So fast forward some years to the kids.

A few months after Neytiri had Neteyam, Grace gave birth as well, but then seemingly died weeks later under mysterious circumstances, leaving her daughter Kiri an orphan. Jake and Neytiri had loved their mentor like a second mother so, didn't hesitate to adopt Kiri.

Given some of the names in the Hunger Games series, I'm going to say in this A.U Spider name is actually Spider, named after the thing that kept his mother alive. And while Spider was dearly loved by his parents, secretly Quaritch and especially Paz freaked out over his birth. They had agreed not to have kids not because they didn't want them, but because they didn't want them used against them. Paz always feared that Snow would come and harm or kill her only son in retribution for her defiance so many years ago. Quaritch just didn't want to see his only child die in the games. And so from the moment he could walk Spider is prepared for the games. His parents drill into his head to never volunteer but he is ready if worse comes to worse.

The Sully's do the same with there kids. So when Neteyam gets reaped at age 14 the family is gutted but knows he has what it takes to survive. Neytiri goes to the capital with him as his mentor. And the citizens of the Capital are obsessed. They love the "legacy champion" and eat up every moment that mother and son are together. Which gives Snow ideas. Neteyam wins but he's different when he comes back, traumatized by the games, but still manages to put on a brave face for his younger siblings.

The next year Kiri is reaped. Neytiri and Jake have to fight to not have break down on camera. It's like they're cursed or something with how many family members have been selected for the games.

Over in district 7 Spider is also reaped for the games. Quaritch actually did have to restrain Paz from freaking out, covering her mouth to stop her from accusing Snow of rigging the raffle. Quaritch goes with Spider as his mentor just like Neytiri is Kiri mentor. The Capital goes absolutely feral for this match up. Quaritch and Neytiri are squaring up every chance they get. Meanwhile Spider and Kiri become fast friends. They sneak out at night to see each other, spend all of their time in training together. During interviews they gush about their friendship, and if the people of the Capital where feral before, they were absolutely crazy for this relationship.

The two stick to each other like glue in the games, never going after anybody, just hiding, talking, making the best out of there very bad situation. Spider promises that if it comes down to the two of them that he'll eat poison berries so she could live. Kiri refuses insisting that she'll be the one to die not him. Finally it gets down to the two of them and they decided, fuck it. If they both ate the berries then no one would win and that would surely piss off the powers that be. So they traverse back to the cornucopia find their camera, intertwine their arms and pop the poison into each others months. The game masters quickly announce that they both win and Spider and Kiri spit out the poison before it can do them harm.

Their parents are pissed that their kids would roll the dice like that but are also relieved that they're alive. Snow is livid that he was outsmarted by a couple of teenagers. And the Capital is completely off it's shits with how much they loved the out come (like have ever seen footage of Philadelphia Eagles fans going crazy after their superbowl win? (if not your in for a wild google search) the Capital basically does this over Spider and Kiri)

Fast forward to the next Hunger Games. The 75th Hunger games. Where the twist is that previous winners will be the ones being reaped like in the book, but other victors, or the family members of the ones being reaped can volenteer to go in there place.

So the line up goes:

In district 4 Tonowari gets reaped but his son Aonung volunteers to go in his place, wanting to prove he's a mighty warrior. Ronal volunteers as the female tribute to protect her son.

In district 7 Paz is the only living female tribute so she knew she was going no matter what. Spider's name is called in the reaping. The family anticipated this and agreed that Quaritch wouldn't volunteer to go in his son's place. They've got bigger plans and need him on the outside.

In district 11 Kiri is reaped again but Neytiri volunteers in her place. Jake is also reaped but Lo'ak volunteers, like Aonung wanting to prove himself, especially compared to his siblings.

The citizens of the Capitol feel like they're getting a five course meal. The drama, the family dynamics, the tragedy about to unfold all from beloved past champions. It's all too much, especially since Snow insists that they all bring their whole families, to be paraded around in extravagant outfits at lavashish parties before the absolute slaughter fest.

What the kids don't know is that all the parents are in on a rebellion plan. Jake was the first to be contacted by a mystery person from district 13. It took awhile to convince him that it was real but once he was he started recruiting others, first Ronal and Tonowari, then Paz who convinced Quaritch. Aonung and Lo'ak volunteering threw a couple wrenches into their plan but they were able to pivot.

The moms are tasked with putting on a show, teaming up to not only protect their sons, but two tributes from district 3 Norm and Trudy who are in on the rebellion and are the ones who will destroy the forcefield so they can all be rescued. The mom's hunt down anyone who's both not in on the rebellion, and eager to actually participate in the games.

This is about where I'm going to end it since I don't really know the details of the final book, i just know how it ends. I don't really have an idea of who would be captured following the escape and who would get out of the arena safely. I was building to Grace basically being the Coin in this A.U but not evil in the end, because Grace would never suggest a Hunger Games with Capital children. But yeah sorry if the ending is a little lackluster here. Please share with me your thoughts or ideas of where to take this A.U. I'm really excited to hear what you all think and hope you enjoyed! 💙

[theerurishipper]

if the reason why Marinette become control freak is because the trauma she had in derision (still think it's BS ngl), then what could possibly caused her to think of Adrien as... An object? Idk, I don't think it's something that can be caused by ADHD, it does howvee make it obvious that she's self centered. Although usually people become self centered because they have insecurity related to an inability to love and being loved, which odly is something that Adrien should have than Marinette considering the people around her definitely love her and they're openly show it.

I just find it's odd the one who have this load of trauma and become self centered is Marinette, not adrien. I mean if idk about the miraculous and just know character from their trait I'd say the one who hass abusive family is Marinette. Which is odd considering the one who act more normal, (outside of Adrien fawning tendency and depresion, is the one who's whole life is centered around abuse and gaslighting. But then again I'm not psychiatrist nor am I good at reading people so I could be wrong. 🤷‍♀️

Apparently, her being pranked led to her thinking that she has to know everything about any boy she likes to the degree that she'll stalk them. Which is some BS right there. Honestly, Derision is one of the worst episodes to ever come out of this show and should be forgotten forever. I don't consider it when I analyze any character, because it just makes them all look bad.

But to answer your question, you're right that Marinette grew up in a loving home. But that's not always enough to erase someone's insecurities. Marinette can be self-centered and can often be inconsiderate of others' points of view, but that's a realistic flaw and it's pretty common. I personally don't think it's anything more than "Marinette can be too focused on what's right in front of her and what her problems are that she neglects to consider the people around her sometimes." Marinette is pretty insecure and anxious, of course it's understandable that she isn't the best at being able to get out of her own head sometimes. It doesn't really make her a bad person or anything at all, it's just something she needs to work on a little. I personally found it very relatable (for the first 3 seasons anyway, until the narrative starts to justify her every mistake).

I also don't think Marinette thinks of Adrien as an object per se, but she doesn't really know him as anything more than Mr. Perfect either. And that's not really her fault entirely. Sure, she doesn't really put in the effort to get to know him, but Adrien is also very closed off. I think it's unfair to expect that Marinette should not be self-centered, but Adrien should be because Adrien has more trauma. People react to different things in different ways. Adrien's trauma manifests in different ways and he has different ways of coping. I don't think it's right to say that he acts less traumatized than her, because... he doesn't. He fawns, he masks his true feelings and tries to be perfect. Just because he is more reserved as opposed to Marinette being more expressive doesn't mean he doesn't also have trauma or that he is somehow unaffected by it. I think it's rather reductive to expect that victims have to act a certain way and have to be affected in a certain way for it to be understandable that they are traumatized or hurt (this isn't directed at you specifically anon, I'm just saying). People react differently to trauma and there is no one universal experience.

Thank you for your ask!

[neonmetro]

Late night autism devil strikes again and I've been one sucker for Deco and Eve lately and have been thinking about their relationship a lot as well......so, there is nothing better than I can do then analyze these two characters to my understanding/j please feel free to correct anything I say as I love to have deeper understandings of the characters I love !!! I would hate to butcher your ocs.......

I would like to talk about the stories of Deco and Eve first. As you mentioned before, Deco grew up with all the comfortabilites they could ever want, all of them accept for one comfortability that most children require, love. Deco had a lot of things, but love seemed not to be one of them. Children tend to, and most likely, will remember the people and things that were with and there for them. And it weighs I huge tole. Children will obviously get extremely lonely and, in some cases, will prefer love from people rather than physical items. I think it that sense, Deco and Eve are the same. From what I can see, Eve's parents aren't really in the picture nor very supportive. And since Eve is a child, someone's love is important. Though unlike Deco, it seemed they don't have comfortabilites as well as the love of a parental guardian of some sort. Comparing Deco and Eve's stories in this way allows leway to analyze their relationship with each other and how intune or "interlinked" they are.

To me, Deco and Eve are capable of understanding each other on a personal and almost out of this world level due to their similarities that can also be seen as differences ( though sense they are teens and still maturing this doesn't apply just yet ). If they tried, they could almost view each other the same. When I look at their relationship, I see a relationship that can sit on the line between romantic ( if you can even call it that ) and platonic. Being able to value each other's relationship and company without putting a "label" on what exactly they mean to each other. They just simply exist with one another, almost peacefully. Because they are possibly capable of understanding each other to a personal level, they can rely on each other. Which, I would assume they rely on each other in PO a lot. Seeing only each other in this badshit crazy of a world. It's kinda like the blind leading the blind, but they are having fun with it :) it seems to me, even when they don't realize it. They can always help each other in some way. Whether it's cheering each other up, helping each other physically, or mentally. Overall these two tend to be more "free" with each other if that makes sense ?

And although their older selves aren't Canon, it's an interesting and fun thing to think about. How their perspectives and experiences grow, the more indepth their insight of each other and their relationship becomes. So I would like to ask a question ( and it's okay if you don't have an answer !!!! ) Would their perspectives of each other change as their personality does ? Not just as best friends but also as people ? Seeing how much each other has not only changed but have also grown and still be able to keep such a tight bond with each other. Would they be able to understand each other on a deeper level now that they've matured ?

Sorry that this ask is all Deco and Eve based 😭😭😭 ( also, sorry if there are any typing errors.... ) I do find them as two characters genuinely interesting. Especially with how good they parallel each other to a degree of being mirrored ( if that makes sense ). PLEASE !!!!!! have a wonderful day / night, Neon !!!!! You're awesome :) 🩷🩷🩷🩷

-Paris anon

THE LATE NIGHT AUTISM DEMON COMES FOR ALL AND LEAVES NO WITNESSES BEHIND... sorry paris anon for the late response it's been a busy couple of days for me :')

BUT YEAH YOU'VE GOT IT MOSTLY CORRECT!!!!

both deco and eve were neglected as children and were able to get into some dark places (the internet/the magical girl industry)... deco mainly coped through copious amounts of consumerism while eve has mostly repressed and ignored a lot of it (with their parasite vagabond forcing them to really address a large portion of it)

i am slightly adjusting their relationship to reassemble more of a rivalry seen in a magical girl shows/comics though, they still do rely on each other since they're both in very similar situations/places in life, just with diff backgrounds (this was mostly changed bc it kinda felt like eve was getting dragged around by deco a little too much ? due to their codependency in their roles in the narrative rather than their relationship if that makes sense)

i'm writing them to have a very close relationship where they understand one another purposefully to allow for some interpretation on whether or not their relationship is romantic or familial (OBVIOUSLY not at the same time. i will eat your face if you interpret both at the same time) or platonic, but since they now have a friendly rivalry, they just encourage and uplift one another. showing one another that yes, it's difficult and you won't understand the world, but it eventually does become ok and you won't be alone forever.

even though their perspectives do change slightly as they get older, i think their core beliefs are still the same (idk i'm just a sucker for someone who is still very much the same person no matter what happens to them, whether that shines through their personality or outlook)

deco believes you trying to being your most authentic best is the best thing to strive through and eve still believes there will always be people who like and dislike you and its ok

i think they have drifted apart as they got older, they're both striving for different things and paths but it still doesn't negate the innate understanding they have one another and they're still able to meet up once and awhile for coffee while talking like no time has past

BUT YAYYY!!! I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU LIKE THEM SO MUCH!!! they're absolutely foils to one another and i just think that's beautiful... two magical girls they can make it if they try

thank YOU!!! YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY/NIGHT PARIS ANON !!!

[dark-full-moon-system]

hey are u alright w like advice anonss? im just wondering if u have any input. do u know what it cld look like if a “singlet” is multifaceted as one is and gives names/identity to their moods/genders/differences in their personality vs having alters? do u think it’s possible someone cld make that kind of mistake. can singlets feel like sometimes they feel like a different name, gender, pronouns, appearance, and personality? and then the next day it feels wrong and they switch names? how do u know it isn’t just being a regular multidimensional person? speaking as someone who often knows I have a cdd but goes into doubts. is there any good way to accept if they are alters or just. regular feelings? what is the extent singlets can even experience. like what if in just giving names to moods and over analyzing being a multifaceted person?

Hi, thank you for asking, my Star🌟

We're more than alright to answer those kinds of asks and we will do our best to answer them

Disclaimer, we're not professionals, those are our thoughts, opinions and experience.

So, about the ask

We think it's very much possible for a person to make this mistake, especially when they know little about dissociative disorders (or pretend to be a system (other origin than traumagenic))

Due to personality and identity development it's normal for you to change how you perceive yourself.

I believe 'singlets' can give names to their moods yet I don't believe it can be anyhow mistaken for a dissociative disorder.

Let's start with the trauma you had to experience to get dissociative disorder of any kind. If you remember your trauma and feel like different people, cool, might consider cdd. Don't remember trauma, but feel like different people, nice, look into cdd but don't grab everything you read as your indication. Cdd is a spectrum, not everything is about you, or maybe you are special and they haven't found out about you and your experience. Remember trauma but don't feel like different people, nice, consider (C)PTSD or OSDD. Talk to someone, I mean professional, about your doubts, they might help.

The difference between alters and 'named moods' is the trauma, that's for sure. Also, you don't choose the alter you split, you just split. And with those moods, you name them, at least that's how I understood the ask. You have no control over the alters. Another thing, the alters can front when they are needed but also when they feel like it. The moods are moods, they are when they are. When you're happy you're happy, when you're sad you're sad. The alters have boundaries, they can change, they have relationships. Do moods we're talking about have those too?

There are more to the alters and cdd. As I said, dissociative disorders are spectrum but I really recommend looking into the basic criteria and talking to people who have the disorder. Listening to first hand experiences is so helpful to understand the disorder.

Our DMs are open, so you can message us and ask any question you have. Or we can stay with the anon asks😊

I hope we made the answer quite clear to read, there were so many thoughts and so little ability to put them all in there that if something is not understandable, please let us know. If you want more information, also let us know.

[mahoupup]

How do you tell the difference between a system introject/fictive and a past life kin? /gen

Hiya anon! Honestly this is a very subjective question but we will try answering it as best we can!

Way number 1: Looking at the differences

In our system fictive pesudomemories are usually (but not always) based around trauma, and usually just one specific event that was distressing us at the time they formed. Ie our Fyodor fictive has memories revolving around death, and he was formed after we uncovered a memory revolving around death.

Kin memories for us usually hold a lot more. Ie with our 'fairly canon compliant' Fyodor canon we remember a lot more, such as being a child and learning to play the Chello, the ballroom, being hit over the head with a wine bottle, ect. However we do have trauma memories from that timeline that could correlate with real life abuse we've been through (ie Mother, the religious cult things, ect).

Way number 2: Probability

Another way we work out is the probability of them actually being a fictive of [character] in the system. When you form a fictive the memories usually don't change with canon growing (at least in our experience) because they formed with the knowledge you had and don't expand upon that because they're brain made, so we see if (by engaging more) if those memories get expanded upon or 'make more sense' in the context of canon (Idk if I'm explaining that well ngl).

This could also be like. The time taken to form a character. So we realized that we kin Sparkle from HSR, but we have never engaged with HSR or knew she existed until seeing a GIF set of her across the dash. The idea of us having a fictive of her despite having no idea she existed is very very low, therefore we realized that she's a kin.

Way number 3: System communication

The other way is by communicating with the fictive that possibly holds those memories. This is hard to do (especially if like us you're polyfragmented) but it's the most direct way of getting answers.

For example rn we're struggling with knowing if we past life kin Rui Kamishiro, so I (and others) have been communicating with our Rui fictive to try and work out what he thinks about the situation.

After confirming that he doesn't hold these detailed memories, it's likely that we're also a kin with him.

-

But remember, you know your system patterns the best. We've spent a long time analyzing the way our system works and everyone else's is different to ours.

Also remember that if you're wrong that's okay! If you think you have a fictive and it's a kin or vice versa, then that's not the end of the world. It's about self exploration, just take your time and don't be afraid to be wrong!

[that-yandere-life]

Hiii, it’s the Criminal Minds anon again >< I’d like to say thank you very much for answering!! And if you don’t mind, could you write for a yan Spencer Reid with bff darling? He always loved her but she’s oblivious to him even though having a little crush on him. Thank you!! I love your writing!! Have a good day/night!!

[Warnings: Yandere Themes *Obviously, Kidnapping, Murder, Mentions of blood and violence.]

Spencer had been friends with you since the two of you could talk practically, although he was using much more advanced sentence structures far before you could.

What you didn’t know was that your best friend was constantly watching you, studying you, committing everything about you to his eidetic memory.

Many times getting into fights he couldn’t hope to win with brawn, instead opting to demolish them with words until every one who dared to mess with you was downright afraid of going against him as a result.

Somehow he would manage to keep it from you, feeling a swell of pride every time you mentioned how they were leaving you alone now, noticing you were much more relaxed than you used to be.

That also translated to life outside of academics, as you both went through FBI training and while you weren’t a profiler you helped Garcia with technology and computer hardware issues.

So that meant that naturally you worked pretty closely with the team, and by extension Spencer which he was delighted by especially since you worked in office meaning that you were likely safer than any other profession.

Not only could he keep an eye out for you but there were hundreds of agents surrounding you at any given moment, ensuring that even if there was a breach somehow you would statistically be safe.

Happy that weapons training had been required for you despite not being a field agent, that way you could defend yourself if there was nothing else that could be done.

For the guy that knows everything he was far too blinded by his love and obsession over you to realize that you liked him too, and you had since you heard from another friend how he had stood up to your bullies for you.

Never mentioning it because you realized that he didn’t want you to worry about him so you just kept it near and dear to your own heart.

Sure he wasn’t used to being in romantic situations so he couldn’t likely analyze the looks you gave him sometimes, quickly rationalizing it to just being friendly gazes when that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Honestly you admired him, his strength for what he has to deal with on a daily basis with unsubs and the horrors of the trade, but also his intelligence where he never made you feel inferior when he explained something to you.

Feelings are finally revealed when the worst possible thing happens and you are taken while out for coffee one morning before work, leaving him sitting there trying desperately to call you once you didn’t show up on time.

Constantly being sent to voicemail he didn’t hesitate to grab his things and try to retrace your steps knowing where you usually stopped having your schedule memorized down to the slightest detail.

Talking to the barista at the coffee shop you typically stopped at where they confirmed that you had been there and that they thought you got into a car with someone, but to them it looked like you knew the person.

Unfortunately for everyone involved you did not, they secretly held a gun to your back and forced you into the car with whispered threats of violence.

Asking to see the security footage of the camera facing the front of the store he let his eyes take in every little thing no matter how insignificant it might be to anyone else, to his trained eye it could mean the difference between life and death.

Catching a glance at a partial license plate belonging to the vehicle belonging to your abductor, running it through the database with the make and model instantly getting a hit with an address.

Garcia worked overtime when she learned her partner in crime was missing, making comments about how they better not have touched a hair on your head or they would truly be in for it.

Spencer was silently agreeing with her, but it didn’t matter they had been destined for death the moment they threatened you there was no other option in his mind.

Grabbing his gun out of his desk drawer not asking for back-up because he didn’t want anyone to witness what he was about to do, and he needed plausible deniability if it should ever get investigated heavily.

Busting through the front door of the place where you were being held hostage, splinters of the door frame crackling as they hit the floor, the room going silent as they watched their intruder aim a pistol at them.

Demanding to know where you were not caring that the perpetrators family and kids were also there terrified out of their wits, but it meant nothing to him compared to the suffering and fear you must be experiencing.

Using the gun to motion for the guy seen in the video to get up and take him to you, leading him down to the basement where you sat chained to a chair, your face dirty and tear stained.

Anger filled his entire body as he didn’t hesitate to shoot the man point blank in the head, his corpse dropping to the ground in a pile of flesh and blood, glad you were gagged as your scream would have alerted the others if the gunshot hadn’t already.

Untying you he yanked you into his embrace at first you stiffened in his arms but you relaxed as you realized you would have done the same if the roles were reversed, wrapping your arms around his neck sobbing into his shoulder.

Making you look at him he asked if you were okay, satisfied when you said yes in a small voice, pushing his curls away from his eyes not expecting you to press your lips to his, lighting his entire being on fire with passion.

Parting from the kiss he pressed his forehead to yours promising that he was never going to let anything happen to you ever again, and that he was so sorry he didn’t tell you how he felt sooner but he loved you with all of his heart.

[Thank you for this idea, it got a little longer than usual because I just couldn't stop once I started! I really really like this one, and I hope that you like it too darling! <3]

[nyxirrationalstories]

the athena x child reader hcs were so good! (I'm the same anon who asked btw) can you do more athena x child reader hcs but with a fem child reader this time if possible?

Hello again; hey, I'm not going to lie to you, if you keep this up you're going to make me write my "Gods of War" fanfic with more enthusiasm.

Hahaha, well, let's start, a girl?! Oh my God, this just got more interesting!

--- If being a boy, Athena already had the little one super protected; when it's a girl… that's it, it's over; if the little one wants to start a war, she's already won it.

--- And I'm not only speaking for Athena, who will guide her little girl to become a great priestess, but also for Ares.

--- Yes, it's true, it's up to Ares to be the voice of reason here; but what if someone hurts his little girl? Troy burns for the fifth time and counting.

--- Here Cotys I cannot even see the infant, he only knows that Athena asked him for a place in the forest and to send some maidens to take care of the place. In this scenario he is literally Athena's ATM; although on second thought Cotys is more like a casino: this relationship is like "money laundering". Athena gives things to her daughter through Cotys and so the gods do not detect her.

How illegal was this point.

--- Mind you, if the goddess was already strict, here she is more so. The disobedience was better "analyzed"; being a male Athena would not fully understand the disobedience of the child and would attribute it to things more of… hubris or foolishness or even being a brute (to which Ares would only shake his head). But being a woman, Athena could know better and what her daughter was thinking if she disobeyed. Which is why mercy only depends on age or if Ares butts in.

--- Speaking of the god of war, Athena knew she had gotten herself the best watchdog and protective father. What if something were to happen to her daughter? A powerful ally in the war.

--- Demeter with Persephone? that's already amateurish, it's a thing of the past baby, and here comes Athena to break barriers.

--- Although she can never surpass Hera, I think no one could.

--- But that only happens if the girl disobeys, if she doesn't, she'll have some freedom.

--- The little girl knows that she has and had siblings (on both "parents" sides) but the only one she "knows" (she has only heard about) is Sofia, the goddess of wisdom.

*Curious fact: Athena is the goddess of knowledge and strategy, over the years she was awarded the wisdom. But, the goddess Sofia is the goddess of wisdom, hence the word "Philosophy" philo= love, Sophie = wisdom. And beware, wisdom and knowledge (although they seem) are not the same thing.

**In my lore, at least from my story and these headcanons, Sofia is the daughter of Ares and Athena.

Athena watched with pride as her little girl gracefully arranged the offerings in her little temple. It wasn't something so ostentatious, it was quite simple and done that way on purpose.

The goddess could hear the girl's prayers: intelligence, grace, skill and bravery… wait a minute. This last one, she was not asking her… but Ares. A slight annoyance she would allow, after all, the god of war seemed that he would not betray her.

--- you have replaced my brother's place --- Sofia looked at Athena, who was more attentive to the human girl than to her words --- but instead of the love you once gave him, now you give something twisted to someone else. Your sadness has become a plague that has even infected my father --- but no matter how many words the goddess of wisdom uttered, the goddess of war ignored her --- Will you stop ignoring me, what I am telling you is important!

--- I don't rule Ares, I just asked him for a favor --- finally answered the Hellenic woman who looked sternly at her daughter --- he does as he pleases as long as he doesn't bother me.

--- The lament of Argenis, the lament of the loss of his son --- declared Sofia looking at her mother with seriousness --- a pain, which although he will have to live with it, has returned with great force. My father had already overcome it, but, what do I see yesterday, he is once again trying to find the soul of Argenis. Stop this madness, Athena!

--- If you have nothing more to say, leave now --- Sofia held back her angry crying, knowing that it would come to nothing, she decided to leave the place. If Athena was not going to help herself, Sofia would take matters into her own hands before something happened to that little girl, her father or her mother that not even repentance could cure.

Bonus: A little continuation of yandere Hades

--- The gods are capricious --- Asier looked out the window as the moon began to rise --- I once knew of a girl that the goddess Athena held captive. I think she died like canaries when a cat looks at them: confinement drives them mad and they eventually die in their cages.

--- Okay, it's too dark and impossible --- commented the nanny as she made dinner --- the goddess Athena would never do that.

--- Zeus did what he wanted, like a king; Hades stole a daughter from her mother, like death; Ares was impulsive and bloodthirsty, like violence --- said the little boy while he drew something --- Eros has no goal, like love; and I can go on with many more examples. So, it is neither improbable nor impossible, but it is quite rare.

--- Where did you get that comparison? --- said the nanny, finishing cooking.

--- That doesn't matter, not when something else is going on --- commented Asier finishing drawing a rune --- I would tell you to be careful in the spring, but autumn and winter are more dangerous… the trees speak --- commented the little boy as he handed her the drawing --- this will protect you, Freyja still owes me a favor.

--- What --- asked the girl as she looked at the drawing and the boy --- is this some kind of game?

--- Yes, and this is my gift… from a fallen one --- Asier said in a more relaxed tone, lying as he had learned in one of his lives --- you are someone I want to protect and I will be your hero.

--- I'll be your princess? --- joked the nanny serving dinner --- or do you have some important role for me?

--- You will be… --- "like Agnes" he wanted to tell her, but little Asier… knew that that was long gone, along with that former name: Argenis --- my friend, whom I want to protect.

[queen0fm0nsterz]

So, who do you prefer The Lady or The Thin man? Who would win in a fight? Do you think they are evil or that either one of them are responsible for the the way their world is, or are they just a byproduct of the world itself? Who only sustaining what was alredy there?

MASTERPOST

SO MANY QUESTIONS, ANON... I will do my best to answer all of them. I'm a tad bit rusty, but I'll make this a fun read, I hope.

Who do you prefer between the Thin Man and the Lady?

In theory, neither. They both have their strong and weak points as characters, and their writing is equally as impressive in two very different ways.

The Thin Man is a very simple man. He only has a single motivation, it's been the same throught his entire life and it will never change no matter how many times the cycle repeats. He wants his friend by his side. Simple, as I said.

There is not much to him, but in his semplicity, he's profound: that's because the lack of any other motivation gives us easier access to what he's feeling, why he's feeling it, and how it impacts the world around him. Because of this, out of all the antagonists in the entire franchise, he's arguably the most "human" of the bunch. When looking at him with the intention of analyzing him, you have to keep in mind that he's only driven by pure emotion. There is no reason for him to act the way he does other than his aching heart.

The culmination of this is in Signal Interference. That's his cry for help, one that will go unheard as he vanishes into nothingness.

On the other hand, the Lady is much more complex. She has places to be, and works to get done. The Maw is restless in its journey around the globe and so is she. Unlike the Thin Man, whose only role is that of himself, the Lady is so much more.

The Lady is a business owner. She's the head of what is possibly the world's most famous and appreciated establishment, one that is advertized everywhere for its "excellent" reputation. She's an entratainer; as such, it's her job to make sure everything goes perfectly under her guidance, see as she checks on the Guests regularly to supervise them. She's an icon, both in and outside the Maw, with multiple shrines devoted to her - she's so famous that even the common folk keep pictures of her in their own homes, almost as if she is a goddess to be worshipped. She's a scholar. An aspect of her character I don't see mentioned enough is her hunger for knowledge: look no further than her gigantic library, and all the open books she keeps scattered around the place. Also, she taught herself magic.

The Lady is so many things in the eyes of many. A saviour, a protector, a ruthless ruler, a soul sucking demon.

She is everything... except herself.

You see, the Thin Man is not one for appearences. He's the kind of person that does what he wants, regardless of what others will say or think. His impact on other people's lives is of no importance to him whatsoever. On the other hand, the Lady cares about her status as an ancient being way more than her counterpart. She's aware of her importance in the world and has learned to make sure she mantains that standard at all costs. Her thoughts and feelings on the matter do not matter.

An impulsive trainwreck and an unpeturbed overachiever... the world is not in good hands.

-- Back to the original question... as I said before. I enjoy them both equally for different reasons.

But one can't deny their own heart... I've had a crush on the Lady since when I was 13. The true bi awakening. I have an horrible relationship with my mother. Happy pride month.

Who would win in a fight?

I don't mean to sound biased, but canonically speaking, probably the Lady. She has far more experience than the Thin Man with her powers and is far more comfortable using them.

On the other hand, in a scenario where they have an equal amount of experience, the Thin Man would obliterate her. He could literally zip her out of existance and no one would remember.

Do you think they're evil or that either one of them are responsable for the for the way their world is, or are they just a byproduct of the world itself?

Both. The world around them shaped them to become as it preferred, which is exactly why they both behave the ways they do. They were just children too, once, a long time ago. Neither of them were always as crooked as they currently are.

However, the reason why the world remains as fucked up as it is, is because both of them fail to either see the faults in their reasoning (the Thin Man) or don't have the courage to take action to change things (the Lady).

They're both selfish, in a way. They have the power to change things, but they just... don't. The Thin Man is dead set on finding his friend again, so the fate of everyone else does not concern him as long as they don't get in his way. The Lady is comfortable living in a place where she can keep her hunger at bay at the cost of other people's lives, even though she's aware that she herself is being used.

Neither of them wishes for the situation to change. It's easier to not look too outside the box. The Thin Man's happy with his little yellow friend after devastating an entire city, and the Lady ignores the atrocities she causes on the daily in favor of her own comfort.

As long as they can live in peace, what happens in the outside world is not relevant.

This is how the cycle of abuse is sustained, which brings me to the last question...

Who is only sustaining what was already there?

The thing is... they both are the symbols of a society that never gave a shit in the first place. The Eye selected the two of them (and their predecessors /side glance @ the Ladies) to substain itself, but the truth is that it's not just their fault if the world is the way it is.

No one questions the way things are. No one dares to ask why. The adults don't care, too consumed by their jobs and lives to even remotely consider the possibility that maybe something's not right.

But you know who asks questions? Children. Endlessly curious as they are, they would question the world, which is exactly why they are seen as pests. They can think for themselves because they are far too young to be bought with money and cool advertisements, and the Eye can't have that.

At the end of the day, both the Thin Man and the Lady are born as victims. Neither of them was ever given the help they needed, and now they refuse to give it to the ones that will come next. Now, I will ask you a question: when is it that a victim stops being a victim, and becomes an abuser? Where do we choose to draw the line?

The pattern can be broken, but if the ones repeating it refuse to accept change, then it's a lost cause.

... we got a little heavy there at the end, huh. Thank you for your questions, anon! It was exactly what I needed to get back in the flow, especially considering it's my two favorite old bastards we're talking about. I hope the answers were enough to satisfy you!

[ackerfics]

hi, rory! <3 what majors would the sc veterans take if they were in the modern world?

hi, anon !! thank you so much for this ask, this is heaven in disguise from all my schoolwork. tbh, the whole time i was working for a lab report, my mind will go back to this ask bc i wanted to have the association as accurate as possible hhhajshw

i asked one of my friends for help and thank God for them bc my single brain cell really said 'it's time for you to rest' after staring at one backlog. without further ado, here are the veterans' majors if they're studying in university:

first off, hange zoe, because if you ask me this question in real life, they would be the only one i can answer. every damn time i would think of them in a college setting, being a biology major is really hange's forte. at this point, this is what everyone would associate them with.

hange is all about experimenting and doing brilliant breakthroughs in any field of science but knowing that they have this unparalleled fascination with the unusual and unexpected life-forms (ahem titans ahem), the biology lab would be the surest place where you could find hange. i feel like biology is too broad so i will add that microbiology or bacteriology are just some of the specializations they will be taking in their time in college.

imagine, being lab partners with hange and immediately knowing that you will have one of the highest grades in the class because they're that well-versed in a specific lab report. and if you're partners with them for the rest of the academic year, you might as well have a shot at an immaculate grade. i'm not saying that you should depend on them too much though hHHHH, hange is still a member of the majority of the student body who relies heavily on caffeine to keep them invigorated. who isn't at this point?

so far, some of the biology majors that i encountered (well, more like chatted behind a screen — online classes suck), they have this energy that could drain my social battery too quickly and hange fits that description. (note that this doesn't apply to any college bc i observed this in mine soooo 🤭) they're the type to always go on a tangent on a certain science article or coerce you into joining this org thing. i can imagine levi just looking at hange like they're the one sucking his brain cells out whenever they speak about a documentary in bbc they watched the night before.

and if you're stuck on anything biology-related, hange will be the best person to ask help from. they're the first ray of sunlight you get while waking up. they're that approachable.

okay, so erwin smith.

don't come at me but he just radiates this ceo vibes and with that, one of his probably majors is business administration. i know this is so stereotypical of me but let's face it, erwin is a smooth talker through and through and if he doesn't take up marketing, business is one way to spend his college years. knowing his personality in attack on titan of establishing deals easily with a determined resolve, he fits the broadest description of being a business administration major. (again, don't come at me because my consultant for this statement is google and nobody comes after google sometimes hhhhh)

just for the benefit of myself, i will add what google says about this major, "[they] learn the mechanics of business through classes in fundamentals, such as finance, accounting and marketing ... students find ways to solve problems using data and they develop communication and managerial skills." and i thank you.

he's also probably the most well-spoken and most professional when conversing with others among his friends (and i'm not saying this to drag the other characters but this is what i pick up on) and that is exactly the qualities his major specializes. it is expected for them to strike deals and be a people person and who better character for the job than our very own erwin smith 🤩

now i mentioned 'one of the probable majors' and yes, aside from business administration, philosophy just exudes erwin smith. ngl, when i imagined erwin in a college setting, this major will always come first. his mind is just so sexy to me??? and i hope you guys think the same, too, because i don't want to be the only one who thinks that 👀 kidding aside, erwin is one of the smartest people in attack on titan and every time he speaks in one episode, my brain will instantly go mush, and that's what i feel when i hear philosophy majors talk.

philosophy majors (according to any other youtuber who does lookbooks for various majors hhhhhh) challenge what is unanswerable and analyze questions with no right answer. i feel like erwin, like hange, will talk all night to explain a theory. just imagine a date with him and you just listen to him rant about a topic that they should be making a report on. just listen to this man, okay?? it's adorable when he lets his guard down to include you in his little bubble of philosophies. he would also mention random things that he learned in classes, sometimes finding joy in knowing the philosophies of other people, or even deciphering levi's dream of an apocalyptic world. (it pisses levi off but he just leave him be.)

if you want a man who can do both of these majors, erwin smith is the answer 😉

sigh, mike zacharias.

this man holds so many talents and will forever amaze me.

i assume all of us here watched the movie perfume. and no, i'm not saying that mike is going to be a murderer but just like the main character of that film, making perfumes will be his forte with that sense of smell of his. and here, i conclude that mike will definitely take up chemical engineering.

he gives me the vibes that if it covers the one thing he does best, he will love his major. (mr. zacharias, can you please spare me that quality because i really need that now 😩) being in the labs while experimenting mundane things that can be found in the environment to create different scents is also a likely situation you can find him in, again, very much like hange. he's the type of student who really puts so much effort in staying afloat the honors list, even to the point of topping midterms in his major, for the sake of his dream. there will never be a moment where you will catch him complain about his major and professors.

he's that type of friend in college who agrees to any rant you say but in reality, he's got his life easy 😭

i headcanon mike owning a perfume shop after college just like how levi always dreamed of having a tea shop.

okay, imagine this little scenario if you're dating mike where he creates this unique perfumes as random gifts for you. they're not the typical perfumes that can seep through the room and can make you gag for no reason, they're subtle scents that will stay for the duration of the day. because again, he's got a sensitive nose, so making perfumes according to what his sense of smell dictates will always result in a revolutionary experiment. if you're randomly blurting out that you want a fusion of flowers and fruits as your perfume, say no more, he's your man.

now, the veteran who i find the hardest to associate a major with — levi ackerman.

after much deliberation and a break from plant physiology, i see him taking up law or criminology.

(i asked some of this from my mom because she attended law school :>>>)

levi is so organized and detailed in the things that he do and he fits in either of these majors since they require tedious memorizations and analysis of laws and crime scenes while being assertive enough to defend someone. he's the typical person who blurts out the true situation of a crime scene when watching film adaptations. yeah, he's that person, the one who sucks the enthusiasm out of you while watching a movie because he just had to correct some of the scenes. nevertheless, he means well though, he just wanted you to understand the reality unlike how films portray gruesome murders. movie nights always end up with levi ranting about half-assed mystery clichés.

levi's binder of readings are always too bright for everyone's good. his notes are full of highlighters and scribbles that it can blind someone. for one, he's always up all night studying his readings and cases for a practice court so by choosing neon highlighters, it's a way for him to wake up. there isn't one book in his possession that he doesn't highlight like it's a fricking coloring book. hange once jokingly said that his binder now acts like his bible and for once, he agrees because he was never seen without one. hange had a field day since levi never agrees with them.

when doing practice courts though, his go-to resting bitch face always come in handy when carrying out his role as one of the lawyers. he's just so sexy with his hands in the pockets of his slacks as he tries to justify his supposed client. the way he questions the accused definitely isn't hot because he's like one of the panelists in your thesis defense, the one who just comes up with questions that have you melting on the spot. he's dangerous i tell you. it also doesn't help if you accidentally hurt one of his friends or just landed randomly in his blacklist for being annoying as hell. relax though, he doesn't mean harm other than the fact that he's ready to throw some hands from all the pent-up rage he gathered in his body.

of course, i couldn't forget how he dresses up like a typical dark academia fanatic so look out for eye-candy.

if you want someone who can recite articles from the constitution, this man is perfect for you 😌

i had so much fun doing this !! again, i'm not generalizing every major i've talked about in these little headcanons, this is all for fun and based on the people i encountered in college. if you want more of this, don't hesitate to ask !! 😚

[rulerofstars]

i love your writings! but maybe we could have some angst??? like um.. levi had an argument with his s/o before an expedition over something and they made up after they came back to the walls?

Sunsets and Mishaps

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader

Genre: Angst, light fluff.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of blood, gore, deaths.

Word count: 2,600 words.

Angel: Thank you so much for requesting and for the kind words, anon! I enjoyed writing this one. <3

 The taste of the warm, strong tea eased the coldness caused by the chilly morning of an expedition. You have the habit of waking up early and being productive whenever there is one, just to calm yourself down and have a good start before heading outside the walls and encountering titans. Being out there could have two outcomes only, the first, you’d come back alive, and the second, you don’t. Every second spent before every venture is special to you, for no one will ever know what could happen next.

An assuring warmth from the rays that slipped through the window pain sent solace through the dubious mind that bothered your entire system. If the sunrise is this beautiful, then should you be looking forward for the day?

“You’re early, (Y/N)!” Moblit greeted, sitting next to you, and Hanji who has a bunch of different food in their hand sat across you. The latter, your best friend and squad leader had notable dark circles under their eyes, accompanied by the messy hair. Staying up late for experiments, again, you thought.

A piece of bread has been shoved in your hand as Sasha, one of your favorite cadets passed by your table and greeted you with a wink, you smiled at her.

“You are, too.” Hanji scoffed at your reply and glared at Moblit.

“He woke me up!”

“Of course, you told me to wake you up!”

“Not this early!”

“It’s your normal wake-up time! You’re just sleep-deprived, squad leader!”

Because of the noisy quarrel in front, you wanted to walk away and just sleep for a little bit more. These two never seem to hear each other even when they are millimeters close, they always shout!

The atmosphere of the mess hall transitioned from light to heavy when the intimidating aura of the elite squad entered the room. Their mere presence is enough to justify the reasons why they belong in the so called Special Operations Squad, and the number of titans they have obliterated is mind-blowing and you can’t help but to wonder, are they really human beings?

A familiar back profile made your heart flutter, his undercut makes you weak, and the way he held the tea cup as if he’s afraid to break it into pieces.

So he’s up early, too.

“Aren’t you going to kiss your lover?” Hanji asked, making you blush furiously. That question was so sudden!

Moblit immediately interfered, “Lovers don’t kiss all the time, Hanji-san!” He said, earning an approval from you.

Little by little, your whole squad appeared and occupied the empty spaces available. Your eyes occasionally dart onto Levi, who’s quietly listening to the conversation of his own squad and speaks every now and then. You wanted to go to him and spend the rest of your morning with him before you set off outside the walls, but you don’t want to interfere with his time for his squad. You are well-aware of your boundaries. How you should keep your feelings out of missions and focus on the objective. You and him had talked about this kind of matter ever since you’ve started dating.

And how you should keep your relationship as lowkey as possible.

Gentle yet meaningful habits pacified the yearning that burned for the both of you, the littlest things that you make, the slightest details that he considers, is what kept you sane. After all, it was you whom he would come home to.

But, you would not deny how much it irks you. . . to see him too close to another woman, yet not being able to do something to ease the slight pang of jealousy and pain.

“You okay?” Nifa asked, noticing the glint of uneasiness in your eyes, but you quickly shook the feelings away.

To make it believable, you forced a smile on your lips and answered your friend, “Of course!”

You hated how his certain squad mate looked at him the way you do, too. You are too aware of the woman’s feelings towards your lover, and you can’t help but to feel upset. How her small actions that meant something else find their way towards Levi, and how he does nothing about it, how he lets it happen, as if he’s giving her a chance.

Trust is one of the core foundations of your relationship, but you weren’t doubting your boyfriend, you are just. . . jealous. The two of you talked about how you should be open and tell each other everything you feel without any kind of hesitation. It was what made you strong as a couple- the thick line of communication never grew weary.

-----

Preparations weren’t that tedious an hour before the expedition because everything is already put together, thanks to Erwin. Everyone’s already in their uniforms, ODM gears have been checked, so no one is really having a hectic time, or so you thought.

The four corners of Levi’s office sealed every kind of noise from the outside, encaging you both with silence that is sometimes interrupted by the sound of papers shuffling. The captain sat on his chair, facing his desk, while he scanned a pile of paperworks to sign to. Thanks to Erwin.

You sat on the chair in front of his desk, sighing and arranging the scattered papers neatly.

“Levi. . .” You started, trying to gain his attention but to no avail, he did not even raise his head to look at you, but he did acknowledge you.

“Hm?”

Thoughts pervaded your mind, doubts about yourself and the matter that you would bring up to your lover. For once, you became hesitant of the things that you would tell him, but the way your jealousy permeated through the deepest part of your heart offered you no chance to analyze if this was the perfect timing, or not.

“Petra Ral. . .” His eyes focused on you since the mention of his certain squad mate, making you grow slightly more jealous of the girl, “Her actions. . . her actions towards you make me uncomfortable,” You looked at him and tried to read if any kind of emotion slipped through his steel grey eyes, but you found nothing but nonchalance.

“I’m jealous, Levi. I just want to tell you that.” You admitted, looking down and pressing your nails on your fingers. Agitation rushed through every vein of yours, you were nervous and you didn’t know why. Maybe for how her would react or what he would say.

He stopped what he’s doing and sat up straight, staring directly into your anxious eyes, “What do you want me to do?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know, tell her to stop? Tell her about us? About me?” You suggested, and your heart almost stopped when you caught the slightest glint of irritation in his eyes.

“I thought we’d keep it low-profile?” He asked, looking at the papers one more time before arranging it neatly and staring at you again, “We talked about this, (Y/N).” His austere voice sent shivers to every part of your body.

“This isn’t about us,” You muttered, looking down and avoiding his cold stares, “It’s about me, my feelings, Levi.”

A scoff flee from his mouth, making you feel like what you just said was so dumb that he could not stand it.

“You’re being unreasonable,” He spat your name like it was poison out of his lips, and you stared at him in shock. For a moment, words would not come out of your mouth. For a moment, you were frozen and you couldn’t believe what you just heard. For a moment, you were hurt.

You bit your lower lip, eyes furrowed as you stared back at him with the same intensity. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought we were supposed to tell each other things.” Sarcasm coated your voice like sugar on spice.

His fingers flew on his face, massaging his forehead, as if it was too bothersome and stressful to talk with you, “Stop being childish, (Y/N).”

“Then stop being insensitive!” You spat back, raising your voice. Your heart never beat this hard because of a different reason. The way pain and disappointment embraced you right now felt so wrong.

A sigh left his lips, as he pointed towards the door of his office. And you felt yourself drop, never have you ever had an argument so bad that he would resort to kicking you out, or parting ways without talking about it.

“I can’t deal with you right now. . . just leave.”

Tears pooled in your eyes like a puddle being filled by the chilly raindrops of a hail. He made you feel so petty. Your feelings were never invalidated, and you never thought that it would be him to make you feel like this.

-----

You gripped the end of the reins tightly as you waited for the commander’s signal to advance. Hanji questioned your puffy eyes the moment they saw you earlier, and you lied by saying that you accidentally fell asleep while waiting.

What irked you the most is the noise caused by the Elite squad and how they tease their woman to the captain. You wanted to combust so bad because you had no choice but to endure hearing them. Childish? Fine.

As Erwin shouted, you wasted no time waiting and you immediately followed Moblit, with Nifa behind you and your other squad members at the back. You rode your horse like there was no tomorrow, occasionally being told to slow down to not ruin the formation.

Once the big-ass trees greeted your sight, you shifted to your ODM gear and slaughtered every titan that came across your vision. How you are extremely offensive right now surprised your squad mates, because you were never like this before. It was as if you were angry, and hell you are.

You let your body get taken away by the emotions that overwhelmed your system, that you didn’t notice how far you got and how long you were fighting. But you did not seem to care, you were going to fight until Erwin decides to retreat. The good thing is, you knew how to conserve gas, Levi taught you himself.

Like a thunderbolt, a titan rushed towards you, jumping through the branches of trees, and catching you off guard, making a sharp piece of the wood graze the side of your cheek slightly. You hissed at the sting yet resumed slaying the titan.

Time passed by and you lost count of how many titans you have killed, the second to the last blade in your hand is now starting to get weary, and you badly wanted to kill the one in front of you. You advanced in full speed and positioned your blade in a way that it’d execute the titan in one slash, but an arm stopped you before you could cut.

“Stop it.”

Your body shook, not because you were tired, nor exhaustion is starting to creep up your body. But it was because you heard your lover’s voice. And you did not know why, or for what reason could your body react like this.

“It’s time to head back.” He whispered on your ear. His voice was nothing compared to his cold ones earlier, because this one. . . it’s warmer than the sunset.

You bit your lip, letting your emotions take over you once again and yanking your arm away from him just to get back to the formation all by yourself. Your squad mates nodded at you the moment they recognized your form, and you were greeted by the sight of several bodies of people who suffered the fate of being taken too early.

The entire way back to the walls was coaxed with the heat provided with the orange sunset. Gone was the coldness that bothered everyone in the morning, it was engulfed by the warmth that reminded you of how every expedition ends like. The only warmth that reminded you of losing someone important.

-----

On an open field is where you sat, where they had experiments with the boy- the titan shifter. Of course, you knew, you were there. In front of you was the sunset that would soon say goodbye and leave its remnants of purple and deep pink. And the scent of your favorite soap sent comfort in knowing that you are already home, freshly showered, with a piece of snack in your hand.

You felt your lover’s presence slowly approaching you, his heat was greater than anything else. But visions of what happened earlier repeated in your mind, causing you to walk away from him, away from the feelings.

“(Y/N).”

One word from him, and you halted. And you hated it.

Not a minute had passed and you found Levi in front of you, his brown jacket now discarded, and what protected him from the cold solstice was a thin long-sleeves that you used to steal from him. His hand caressed the wound on your cheek, lightly letting his fingers kiss the fresh cut, but your eyes continued to avoid his.

Because of the schedule and trainings, you were deprived of the chance to spend time together. And you would not deny that you miss it. How you would sneak into his office late at night and come back to you and your roommates’ room before dawn. How you would steal food from the mess hall and share it with him. Or the late-night walks that you have done with him, pretending that no one would see. And you were sure that someone did.

You were never a secret, but you were extremely private.

“Look at me.” He said, his hands still cupping both of your cheeks. You pouted, not wanting to look at him because you knew how frail you get when it comes to him.

Your eyes met his, and it felt like you haven’t for a while.

“Look at me,” He repeated, and you stare directly into his, letting him read the emotions you have felt earlier. You looked at him as if you were complaining to him about himself and his actions earlier. “I’m sorry.”

Your lips trembled. Cheeks flushed and puffed, lips pouting, while warm tears filled your eyes once again. And Levi kissed your tears away even before they could paint your pretty face.

“Don’t cry,” He whispers, gone was the harsh tone that he used on you earlier, gone was the Levi that made you feel invalidated and puerile, “Fuck! Don’t cry. I’m sorry, baby.”

Sultry kisses on your forehead, and how his voice burned in apologies saved you from the cold breeze that wanted to touch your skin. He held you so close to him that you could feel how fast his heart beats for you, muttering how sorry he is, how he told not just Petra but his whole squad about you, how much of an asshole he was.

“D-don’t do that again. . .” You sobbed, face still buried in the warmth of his chest while your hands gripped his shirt.

“I promise.” He responds immediately, wiping the sadness and pain you have felt for hours and replacing it with the fire that dwells within him; the fire that you both made.

You were beneath the moon, and tonight, it was more beautiful. It was your witness, along with the stars that smoldered like a fiery heat. And within the coolness of  the dusk had you both realized, that the once searing sunset has kissed you both goodbye.

[lovelyelbowleech]

MS. LEECH!!!! Hello!!!!! hair anon here!!!!! apologies for not writing something for the last chapter; i promise i read it (like. five times, at least, lmao) and LOVED it but the last few weeks have been kind of a shitshow for me lol and I didn’t have the energy to do…. pretty much anything that wasn’t work-related. without getting into it though i am trying to wade my way through the shit as best i can and part of that is telling you how much i LOVED both this chapter and the last because i LOVED them >:0 SO much

Oh man where do I even start??? Wait that’s a dumb question the answer is Obviously suki (my beloved). I love the way you write her!!!! So much!!!!!!! Her voice and characterization is accurate to the (sadly very little bit) that the show gives us and you build on it in a way that is deeply enjoyable to experience as a reader AND a fan because it feels like how she would act and speak if she had. more screen time. laksks Anyways i deeply love her character and the way you’re writing her. AND the way you’re writing her interacting with shen and zuko!!! especially as zuko and her bond in the most recent chapter. suki being subjected to zuko trying to tend to her wounds had me in hysterics. (I hope you know i absolutely picture zuko just slapping the shit out of whoever’s unfortunate to need his medical aid lmaoooo.) also, sokka acknowledging that suki and zuko could both absolutely beat him up if he tries to stop a fight between them made me giggle. OH and the way sokka described zuko to suki (being inherently ridiculous as a person) + zuko make that little round motion when describing dumpling made me melt a little. but ALSO made me laugh.

katara’s portion was…… woof. (i mean that in the best way possible, lmao.) the portions where you write katara NEVER fail to make me actually cry. I definitely needed the cry this chapter, too. The line where she yelled at iroh that all her family left her felt like an actual punch to the stomach—and that was AFTER the line where iroh lowkey winced because katara was yelling about tea and reminded him of zuko. And after all that was iroh admitting he wasn’t sure how to comfort hurt teenagers because Zuko had never let him 😭 One day I’ll be able to put my thoughts on the way you’re able to convey these emotions and the hurt these characters carry with them in a way that makes sense, but for now all I can say is holy fucking shit. That shit hurts lol. I don’t know how close we are to any reunions, but I am gripping my metaphorical fingernails into a metaphorical surface waiting for them. I just need Katara to be less sad 😭 (…… and then I really want to read your take on the angst of Katara and Sokka’s reunion after the immediate aftermath, because they’ve both changed [Katara trying to be more like Sokka and Sokka trying to be more like Katara was physically painful to read about so I can’t even imagine how they’re going to act around each other once they’re there again], and I imagine Katara’s going to find out at least Some of what Sokka went through, regardless of what Sokka wants, and I further imagine that won’t be pretty in any regard, for any parties involved.) (I also feel VERY similarly about Iroh and Zuko’s reunion, but I’m guessing [BIG emphasis on the guessing] that Katara and Sokka’s will come first….. maybe? I genuinely have no idea, which [off topic lol] is really exciting to me. I analyze plots and story structure on the reg both academically and professionally, so finding stories that keep me guessing but that are also coherent and with an obvious, planned arc that I trust will end satisfactorily is SO incredibly fun and exciting for me. Fuck, I love fanfiction, lol. And I LOVE your writing. 💖)

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the end of the chapter. To which I say: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOLY FUCK I’M STRESSED. That’s as about as succinct as I can be about it.

Thank you so, so much for sharing your writing and world with us, and for taking the time to read and respond to my LONG-ass comments. It genuinely means so, so much to me. I hope you’re well, and that you’re having a good morning/day/night. I will be waiting patiently (and so, so eagerly and nervously—to reiterate again, AAAAAAHHH) for the next chapter. Please take your time, and thank you so much, again 💖💕💖

Hello! Oh I know that feeling when there is nothing but work sucking you brain and energy, so there no room for anything else, I know it well!

It is always great to get your lovely comments, but don't feel bad if you can't leave one for whatever reason!

Glad you enjoyed Suki! I wan't really sure how she would turn out, but she has been really fun to write.

I am so cruel to Katara in this fic, I didn't mean to be! The girl deserves the world, but instead I give her wall to wall grief 😅 Things will get better for her eventually. Probably.

I hope work and stuff becomes either chill or the fun kind of hectic and you have a good week!

Thanks again for your awesome comments - I really do love each one😁

[the-nysh]

This question has prob been asked tons of times, so I’m sorry if it’s an annoying question. I’m new to the fandom and I’m so glad to find your page and couldn’t help to hear your opinions.

I’ve been on Reddit and such, and the controversy regarding Garou is insurmountable. I wanted to ask you: between wc Garou and manga Garou, which route of execution for his character development do you prefer? I understand that both are the same characters, however there are differences in the way they’re presented. What do you think?

No worries, anon! Cause I understand where you're coming from - granted, his current story in the manga isn't finished yet, and even his post-arc tease in the wc hasn't given us complete answers for his overall story's future either (so both versions are still works in progress) so many possible things can still happen, and I can really only judge based on the content we do have.

But I'll say that way back when, it took 2 reads of the wc for me to 'get' Garou - as in 'ah I see now, everything revealed at the end was true after all; I understand where he's coming from' - however, that was merely an acknowledgement/understanding of his character, not a complete 'like' yet. As I used to be primarily indifferent towards his character...up til the manga's shed scene. 👀 Which was an original expansion over the wc (for the better), showing us true tests to his character when impressively pushed to the brink, that really got me to open my eyes and pay attention to the potential of his progression with more scrutinized interest.

Since then, the manga spending this much extra time gradually humanizing him past his initial (performative) impression, and exploring his actual bonds/connections with Tareo & Bang in ways that feel much more organic, are irreplaceable. I wouldn't trade those moments - where we closely get to know him and cheer for his progression - for anything. :O Also because so far, the manga has done nothing to betray/destroy his core character to me; he's behaved consistent/faithful to how I've come to know him, which has been no surprise (however the reddit theorists who totally want 'god' to interfere with him just to see him 'go evil' is what actually would ruin him.)

His wc route is clean, concise and wraps up his climactic end to the MA arc as an extremely solid, standalone, memorable piece of writing. Which leaves me very eager to see what becomes of him post-arc. (My pinned post remains post-arc wc Garou for a reason; to remind me of the amount of joy sparked upon the tease of his return, cause feeling that was also irreplaceable - there he is, and there's room for his story to continue towards more greatness.)

But meanwhile his manga progression has felt so much more personal - that I'm also extremely fond of manga Garou. ;o; Where he's had many awesome, character defining moments showing us the best version of himself - of the person he can be if only he realized/accepted his inherent goodness. :')) His struggles and confusion - at what he thinks/believes being in conflict with what he actually feels and what drives his purest actions...his route to finding himself (past his anger and pain, thru all his mistakes and triumphs) is messy, human, and oh so endearing and compelling to me (which definitely makes me feel the fond/warm fuzzies inside.)

I love both versions of him (yay 'two cakes!'), but I'd say I prefer the more organic path the manga took to get us to really know and feel for him. :O (As again, with just a wc read, he was still interesting/compelling there, but its execution alone did not get me to 'like' him as a character....it took more involved personal moments, and active attention on my part to spot/analyze them as more chs published, gradually revealed/explored over time, to perceive him as himself before the fondness truly set in. So I'm truly grateful for the manga's approach there.) Meanwhile, things are still up in the air concerning how the manga will conclude the current arc, but my eyes are certainly still wide open to see how it all turns out. 👀

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hiii Jalebi! Thank you for taking the time to answer questions and keep the IPK fandom alive :) I was wondering if you have ever analyzed exactly why Arnav married Khushi rather than doing anything else to protect his sister...I know the popular interpretation is that if it was any other girl, even if she was connected to his family, Arnav would never have gone down the marriage route...but watching some of the earlier contract marriage episodes and the way Arnav uses Payal's happiness as a threat to keep Khushi in line, and the way Khushi truly seems to buy that threat, isn't it logical that Arnav have done ANY other thing on Payash's wedding day to protect his sister, using that same threat? In fact he didn't even need to make himself the villain, he could have pointed out that the obvious fact that if Payal's SISTER runs away with Shyam/breaks Anjali's marriage, it would directly impact the respect Payal got in her new home, and not only Manorama, but the rest of the family could easily consider that a good reason to break the Payash marriage. HE didn't even need to be the villain here, he could have simply pointed out the consequences of her adulterous actions to Khushi, since he clearly seemed to trust that whatever else Khushi is, she does love her sister and will always prioritize her happiness. He could have threatened her with exposure/Payals ruin (even if he didn't mean it, since he plans to keep it all secret till Anjali's baby is born) to ensure she stays away from Shyam, given her money and sent her away from the city, maybe hiring some people to track the two and their activities, also hiring detectives to gather evidence to ensure his Di's future divorce goes as smooth as possible, while bribing/threatning Shyam to stay happily married until the baby is born. That would have been the most logical plan. To me it seems like a giant plot hole...what do you think? Thank you!

Hello Anon,

Omg that's quite an analysis on your own so congrats :) Yes I have analyzed the marriage and you can find it here.

As of now I still have the same thoughts as above and if there's anything I'd add is that Arnav wasn't in the capacity to completely act rationally.

His sister was cheated. His brother in law whom he respected a lot turned out a fraud. The woman he had finally fallen in love with turned out to be a terrible human being. The situation mirrors his trauma of that 14 years ago. He's unable to tell his sister the truth because she's pregnant.

It might be easy to think logically when one's not dealing with trauma - Arnav unfortunately does not have that chance.

And a part of him just wants Khushi to be his. Eliminate Shyam's chances of calling Khushi his. And that's by making Khushi Mrs. Raizada.

The flaw, I believe, isn't that Arnav married Khushi. It's that he does nothing for five months after. He does not think too much how Shyam went from "KHOOSI IS EVERYTHING" to "I'm a changed man buying flowers for my wife and to-be-child's crib". Like... please do more?

Best,

- Jalebi