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#I just got out of therapy lol
veryluckyclovers · 1 year
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how is ur healing journey going? <3
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nonsense on healing
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b4kuch1n · 8 months
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yay! I drew these quite literally three years ago. dragonheart!milo and raihan! a knight on a doomed dragon hunt being lifted out of his station by a small village medicine man. together they become magic lawyers and overthrow the government
the main details in these do survive into the iterations I’ve drawn (instead of these actual designs I spent time to make el oh el): the “leaf” diamond quilt/gambeson and the plaited coattail for milo, the “atypical” weapons, long coat, and large number of scattered fake gold trims and accessories for raihan. I think I lost raihan the hat and added a cape for milo further down the line because like this their general silhouettes are too similar for my liking lol
#pokemon#swsh#applinshipping#dragonheart AU#gym leader raihan#gym leader milo#leon is the puppet king in this one (I never made a design for him lol. lmao) (its not about him!!!!) (it is just a tiny bit#sonia actually disappeared out to sea like just the year before raihan got sent off too. and the shows up where raihan and milo are later on#as usual the everything between those three are messy in a way that makes every one of them embarrassed to bring it up lmao#if u remember one of the october pieces I did last year. the applinshipping one. yeap thats from this AU too#lmao. also remembering the swordsman AU. in every AU where I bring up a king you can TELL I cant WAIT to get rid of that guy#(its usually leon)#anyways it's not about him this is about raihan and milo!!! iirc everyone in the village knows milo is Something. bc he has literally not#aged at all for four generations#he's like doing his therapy away from the dragon hierarchy out here and raihan crash lands nearby#laughs this is so hallmark movie romance I just realized. except the city girl is trying to#extract her family from the palace before stealing the declaration of independence#oh yeah the AU is named that Specifically because the 'artifact' the whole plot runs around is supposedly a 'calcified' heart of a dragon#and the magic lawyer part is so raihan will seize the right to the throne by haha. winning a living dragon's heart instead#I'm actually surprised I remember this much abt this AU lmao it's literally been three years! I don't even remember what Im#supposed to do tomorrow#it's gettign a USB stick isnt it. Im doin a canadian horror triple feature with the senpai#I gotta remember that. well I remember This so. maybe there's a chance#man there are actually a number of applinshipping things I wanna draw... theyre my Fuckin BoyS#well! there's this at least. have a good night lads! I'll have cake soon#it's time to put cinnamon in things.
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leverage-ot3 · 1 month
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sorry to keep personal posting but my day fucking SUCKED and ended with me dropping one of my brand new earrings from a set that I just finished cleaning down the drain, took the sink apart and still couldn’t find it 🙃
if y’all feel like asking a leverage/misc question for thoughts or headcanons I’d love to answer them in the morning! or even if you just want to say something about your day- I just like hearing from you guys 💖
#or ask me abt my lockwood & co hyperfixation/chat w me about the show#and how I have been egged on my a moot to pursue my cot3 hunger games au (I have never finished a longfic)#(was bored at lunch break and wrote a portion of the berry scene 👀)#boss still owes me more than 2.5k and has been gaslighting me and continues to emotionally manipulate me and my coworkers#and cause serious shit that triggers clients in a THERAPY CLINIC#and has started second guessing my work by asking other employees if my input is ‘accurate’#which caused a flare up in my skin picking AND latent SI#ugh sorry for rambling yall I just need to write this out yk#I need a fucking sugar mommy or something 😭😭😭 I need to get out of this mentally/financially abusive job#not leverage#ask me things#jackie talks#about me#mine#this is the worst place I’ve worked which doesn’t necessarily say too much because I haven’t had many jobs#but one of my former bosses was a [redacted school shooting] denier when we were literally 20 min away from where it happened#which still boils my blood to this day LIKE WDYM YOU THIBK THE GOVERNMENT PAID OFF PARENTS AS A PART OF A CONSPIRACY TO INFLUENCE GUNCONTROL#she would tell a new hire ‘J doesn’t like conspiracy theories’#NO [redacted] I CAN DISCUSS THEM FOR FUN IN CONVERSATIONS BUT URS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS#EAT A DICK#hmmm I wonder if I still have anger about that lol#ANYWAYS I finally got my intake after waiting 8mo for the clinic I needed to get in and will be starting therapy in a few weeks#🫡🫡🫡
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mofsblog · 9 months
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(CW suicide) Does anyone else think TF like definitely tried to kill himself during the 10-year time period where Graves was in jail? No, like this has been an interpretation of mine for so long. It's just sooo. I feel like TF's absolute grief and guilt during that time period doesn't get talked about enough and like understandable because in the main lore it's only vaguely alluded to and implied and never really explored but like. If you think about it, you can not tell me this man did not cry himself to sleep for months if not years
Like it's fact that Graves got locked up (something TF probably blames himself for), which is already bad enough but then you take into account how TF has pre existing trauma surrounding abandonment because of his folk leaving him and I don't know about other people but I feel like a very common feeling when you're traumatised or hurt is being afraid you're going to put someone you care about through that so TF probably took it twice as hard because he felt like he "abandoned" Graves in prison. All of that guilt gets like 50% worse if you count the implication that TF has been in love with him for a long time and was self aware about it so now it's also guilt from "fuck I doomed the man I love because I couldn't save him"
AND THEN IT GETS EVEN WORSE WHEN YOU CONSIDER THAT, HE DID TRY. He did try to break him out. And that trying lead to at least 3 of their crewmates/friends getting killed. No like I can not state how absolutely devastating that period probably was for TF. The survivors guilt from Graves being imprisoned, the guilt from the fact he got their entire crew killed trying to save Graves, the fact that it's canon he never spoke to anyone about it and held it in for years
All of this concluding in this line that I've always found interesting
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Like I could already go on about how his identity and name change seem to have happened right after the last of his crew died and how it's really likely he changed everything about himself to distance himself from everything that happened and how it was probably too painful being himself because of the guilt and grief
But what I find interesting is the mention of the river and how it's implied this name change happened after he visited and left the river. Now there's a high chance I'm looking too much into this and this is mainly my own headcanon and interpretation but how likely do you think it is he changed his whole identity because he failed a suicide attempt (in which he probably tried to drown himself) and using a different name and identity was the second closest thing he could do to stop being himself and existing as himself
No, like I'm sorry, but it's the fact he went to a river despite not knowing how to swim after thinking the man he was pining after was abandoned by him and TF put him through the exact pain he had to go through, not to mention the isolation and beatings TF just sentenced him to by "letting him get captured" AND THATS ON TOP OF THE ACTUAL AT LEAST THREE FRIENDS/CREWMATES HE ACTUALLY GOT KILLED IN AN EFFORT TO SAVE HIM. and then the fact he literally had zero outlet during all of this. I don't know, I just feel like it's a solid possibility. TF's repression of his emotions through his nonchalant and playful attitude tends to, in my opinion, make people overlook how badly the whole thing probably affected him and I feel like that's a bit of a shame because there's so much angst potential there
Anyways I'm normsl about the league of legends gambler guy
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Did you know I first started listening to stormlight while I was mudding drywall during our kitchen remodel for something to do to make me go less insane and I fucking hated it. I was so miserable and depressed and kaladin was so miserable and depressed and I had to stop listening before I even got to the stew scene because I was NOT having a good time with the sad man book
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Watched the marvellous To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar last night and here I am once again asking why they didn’t just take Blanche to see a drag show
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criticalrolo · 9 months
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Sir Claire I for one am following you specifically to hear you talk about your dnd characters! Well, and for the art ... usually of your dnd characters. My point is, if people did not want to hear about your OCs why would they be following the Talk About My OCs blog?
that’s true, thank you you’re very sweet to say so 💗
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oscill4te · 19 days
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Wednesdays used to be my least fav day of the week but i now replace that with Monday
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#in therapy we identified that maybe my work life affects my sense of happiness more than i thought#it really just takes 1 coworker with no chill =m= i hate micromanagers#hes the kind of person who tells you lots of contradicting things and gets angry over small things#im like his new target that he gets angry at and always nitpicks at. it used to be someone else#and he gives me contradicting orders all the time so its like im always gonna be wrong????#“dont focus on overstock. Always prioritize checking dates”#or “dont focus on checking dates. Always prioritize overstock”#or “mark things down whenever gou can” to “dont mark things down anymore” ?????#he just annoys me and hes weird (legit weird.) and i hate him. and i could rant for paragraphs but i wont lulz#anyways mondays I have to work 8 hrs with him. i really dont like him. goddddd. i had a freak out last week but uh. it got him off my back#i usually use “gray rocking” i just give little answers and nod my head but he kept accusing me of not checking dates (i do!!!)#so i freaked out a lil bit and frantically shlwed him alllllllllll the shit i marked down. it got him off my back it was funny#gotta be hysterical sometimes to get ppl off your back rather than just be a quiet stone that absorbs negativity#its weird bc growing up the “be quiet and say nothing” usually gets ppl off my back but#i guess in my work situation gotta have a small freak out to get ppl off the back LOL. embarrassing but it worked#i dont wanna resort to that tomorrow. god i hate people who micromanage and never see the good you do as an employee. they only see the bad#its never “wow she keeps the department well phased and stock and checks dates and even cleans the units”#just “hmm what small thing can i make a negative comment on?”#or give orders just for the sake of giving orders iykwim#normally i can deal with it but when its ALL day... for 8 hrs.. bruh. i h8 mondays okay
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widevibratobitch · 2 months
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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karda · 4 months
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hi hi hi hi how are you. im doing life things (finally got a therapy appointment for next week after putting it off for months) and im struggling thru my classes but otherwise im doing okay. a bunch of spring flowers are popping up all over the place and they make me happy :)
im doing alright! little fragile honestly lol. feel like im minutes from an anxiety attack over absolutely nothing. but its ok >_< the spring flowers make me happy too
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pup-pee · 1 month
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y does it feel so SO wrong 2 share ur opinion???
#oh u solved the problem#urself!#like its not even about bing right or wrong its just about literally communicating & i think im doing it BAD#IM NOT AFRAID OF BING “H8ED” ON I JUST#i think i just dont like having the chance of making ppl feel bad?#or soemthing aloong those lines?#theres a line a vry easy line 2 cross#like expressing a comic book opinion right? bc its super easy 2 sway a bunch of ppl#but if ur saying smth u dont like it while some1 does it has the possibility of making that person feel bad#& I H8 THAT...idk y it makes me feel like shit????? @ the possibility???#this feels like smth i should bring up w/a therapist LMAOOOOOOO#but like same thing when i was in class right? giving a presentation i got RLLY SCARED 2 do it bc i was giving an opinion or a fact BUT I#COULD B WRONG ON THE FACT!! which is y i just never did them bc i would cry lol but its just#it kinda feels the same way#its weird bc im fine w/getting shit wrong. its only when i share an opinion when i feel stupid??????? ok not stupid just mean? i think? yea#this is possibly the reason y i get nervous sharing hcs or aus. bc it wont b “canon accurate” & then will like fuck up some1s perception id#its not like any1 reads this lashfkj i just hmmmmmmm theres defiantly smth i should b discovering here i just am not...#i want 2 share my opinion bc its a fucking opinion theres nothing wrong w/it bc its not a fact EXCEPT in the way its a fact of how i FEEL o#THINK?? like its just its strange. i think this has a lot 2 do w/me never bing listened 2 as a child LOL uhhhhhhhh hmmmmmm yeah prolly akj#I FIGURED IT OUT I GOT IT ALLLLLL UNLOCKED#god i hhhhhhhhhhh some1 make a clone of me so i can talk 2 me like a therapist or smth#this is y i cant do therapy actualyl its bc i just keep yapping then by the time im done the therapist always went tyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#srry ramblings
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wexpyke · 2 years
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no but what was that finale… i miss longer shows so much… give us 22 episodes per season again!!! give us more time for character growth and relationship development and bring back fun filler episodes!!!! because what was this finale 😭
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b4kuch1n · 3 months
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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chloelouygo · 2 months
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I said the other day that she's my favourite and here is my proof, have a pony picture as thanks for enjoying my niche feeling interests alongside me 😌😌💜💜
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Isn't she beautiful-
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beesinspades · 7 months
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DAY ONE ON T BABYYYYY
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animalinvestigator · 2 years
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dark spore kids
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