#I just don't want any misunderstanding
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DID YOU VOTE TO ADD HORRORS ????
Hmm perhaps, lemme check first, I voted way too many times in this hellsite lol
#I'm sorta unsure with your intentions here#can you please make it clear#I just don't want any misunderstanding#and I think my brain is just exaggerating the events-#but anywho#my point is#you're making me uncomfortable#but I think you didn't mean to do that#so yeah#hope you're having a good day/night :D#ask response
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do u think hbo could do justice to robert's rebellion?
#i can say why if you want tho alskdjfklsaj#but like even the original completely misunderstands ned as a character nor does it have any respect for lyanna or cat as characters#i'm not the stannis understander (i AM a davos understander tho) but i know mannis fans didn't like his portrayal either#plus we're likely to get white arthur and ashara and maybe even white elia and i just don't have the patience for that shit at ALL#asks#anons
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gm yesterday i changed up my carrd again (surprise surprise) and clarified some things in my rules. while i absolutely adore other portrayals of the same character i write, i have never and am not going to start following blogs that are solo blade muses or multis heavily centered around a blade muse. i really want to avoid accidental similarities.
#ooc.#idk why i feel bad about this#i am NOT blocking any blogs i dont want anyone to misunderstand#i'll utilize the blacklist function and mute urls as i see fit#so that i don't have to see them#pretty much everyone i follow tags urls anyway so its nbd#and i cant stress enough: i have no personal issues with anyone#i also don't want anyone to feel like this is me telling them#to stop interacting with other blades because no no no no no#i just dont want to sweat whenever i want to post a hc or smth#similarities are bound to happen but at least like this#they will all be purely accidental and not based off smth i saw skimming the dash#or the other way around ofc.#also asking that if you do write blade yourself to tag it with something i can mute#i fully understand if that’s not possible but i might sb as a result#anyway i can’t say this enough times: it’s nothing personal.
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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Shark Genitals & World Building
So, I've seen this Q&A a few times now and it really got me thinking about Fish-man biology.
Now, to be clear, I think it's pretty clear Oda isn't being entirely serious. When you look at how he designs his characters he goes for whatever is fun. He's not doing extensive research on whatever aquatic species he slaps on his fish-men or Merfolk characters. This is why for a lot of them, if you look up what they are mixed with they rarely share much if anything with the animal he's picked.
Saying a character has two dicks is funny, so Hody has two dicks--that's all.
But taking the answer more seriously the idea that at least some (because they do vary so widely from fish-person to fish-person) have changed genitals because of their added fish anatomy is interesting from a world-building perspective.
As someone who has a special interest in animal biology and has watched a lot of documentaries I can say that fish have really diverse breeding strategies. So, I guess, if Hody can have two dicks because he's a shark, I wonder if this could be true for any other fish-people and merfolk.
We see that at least some fish-people do have children the same way regular humans do, but to my knowledge we don't see any pregnant mermaids. Given how much larger Neptune is then his wife, and how massive Shirahoshi is, I think it makes sense that perhaps like many fish, Otohime laid eggs that were fertilized separately (this is actually how goldfish mate).
It could be possible that the way mermaids or even fish-women have children depends on the father. If they are not compatible in size they can reproduce Ovuliparity (the way I imagine Otohime did), or if they are of similar size they either go the more human route or, after copulation they lay fertilized eggs (like the skate cases often called mermaid purses you find washed up on the beach).
There's also something to be said for the variations fish have with gender. Some fish are capable of changing gender. It's more common that female fish become male (protandry), usually the largest of a group replacing the dominate male in the group. This happens mostly with coral reef fish like wrasses, groupers and parrot-fish.
Meanwhile, anemone fish, like clown fish change from male to female. When the one female dies the remaining male will become female, while an outside male will become that new female's mate.
Then there are Black Helmet fish which are both simultaneously and take turns releasing eggs and sperm when they spawn.
So, if fish-people and merfolk had similarly diverse genders and ways of reproducing I think that'd just be really neat. It could also lead to some fun misunderstandings between fish-people, merfolk and humans.
Of course, I don't think Oda ever put that much thought into it. He just does whatever he finds fun character design wise. I mean, it's not like Arlong has barrels like Sawsharks do, and Jinbe looks nothing like a whale shark. On top of that the story isn't really focused on that type of world building. Nor do I think he could really showcase something that deals so much with sex--even if it is fish sex.
Still, makes for some really great head-canons.
#one piece#fish-men#merfolk#fish biology#Arlong#Jinbe#Jimbe#his name is always spelt different ways#idk i sort of wish there were more funny misunderstandings between fish-men and humans#i mean given how isolated they were#and that Jinbe grew up a orphan#he wasn't given an education and what he did get was based on the world he lived in#what i'm saying is that I don't think he knows Chopper is a reindeer or in the very least doesn't know that not all reindeer are sentient#I just want that one pic of Griffin McElroy replaced with Jinbe#holding up the paper that says 'idk what a reindeer is and now i'm to afraid to ask'#also i wonder if Arlong and/or his crew tried to give Nami the talk when she was like 12-14 cuz they felt they had to#not knowing she got it from her sister already (who got it from Bellmere before she was killed)#and she's just silently thinking 'what the fuck are you talking about?!'#already horrified that this was the one time they decided they needed to kind of act like parents to her#but they don't want to end up with any human babies so they're just like 'don't lay any eggs for boys you don't know'#it does mean she knows way more then she wants to about fish-people biology then she'd like though
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I don't know how to talk with people in real life
#at least im tryimh#but i feel like i don't have any progress#my dad has the same problem but muuuuuuch worse#he can't even talk with his own subordinates because he's super shy plus exhausted#he just prefers to never interact#and mom worries that he has this problem for years because of which people misunderstand him and start to dislike him#and she said I'm just like him#*cries with tears*#i don't want to be like thiiiiiiiiis
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having social anxiety on tumblr dot com is so fucking frustrating cause like. i'll see a post i like and want to reblog but i do it with so so so much embarrassment because my brain's just thinking "oh god oh fuck im being so stupid right now what if op sees it and thinks im annoying" but like. they realistically would either not care at all or be happy about someone reblogging their post so like what the actual fuck am i afraid of??? but here's the kicker. the reason i have social anxiety in the first place is because i HAVE experienced these comically horrible social experiences of being judged and insulted for no reason before. multiple times. recently. the possibility of this happening is not a 0 chance. i have legitimate reasons to be afraid. and that is. actually horrific
#even on tumblr dot com (the neurodivergent website) i'm not safe from being ridiculed like my anxiety prophesises#the worst part is that the reason this has happened is because i'm autistic or i misinterpreted something. and i can't just-#-stop being autistic because that is impossible. so the ridicule could actually strike me at any time for no reason at all and that is-#-really scary.#i remember this one specific time i misinterpreted a post months ago and a couple people left sorta sarcastic snide replies on it-#-atting me and i literally did not know what i did wrong and was like ''hey wait i think i might have misinterpreted this. someone explain'#and luckily someone did and it was fine. but like. that was actually horrifying for me.#i was relatively new to tumblr at the time and i legitimately thought people were going to like dogpile me or something. i was that afraid.#and that sounds really stupid but you need to understand that 1. these people did not bother to say what i did wrong and were really vague-#-so that left no room for me to actually like. know what i did. and 2. being mocked and made fun of for not knowing something is something-#-i have gone through many MANY times and people dogpiling others for miniscule reasons is very common online. so like.#it was really fucking scary for me because my brain takes a light shower and turns it into a raging thunderstorm and i literally cannot-#-control that.#also slightly off topic but i hate when there's a misunderstanding or argument online and people are just snide and sarcastic about it-#-and won't bother to explain for no reason. stop being vague and just tell me already!! i don't want to play mental charades with you!!#anyway. yeah i hate having social anxiety it sucks.#social anxiety#vent#this is also the reason i rarely reblog or reply to others in my fandom. i promise i'm not being rude or cold! i literally-#-physically cannot bring myself to reply a lot of the time because i'm absolutely petrified to. i'm frozen with unimaginable fear.#so liking posts is my way of showing i appreciate everyone :)
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is that all you have to say jeremy...
#i can't stop laughing#this is my new favorite internet comment ever#cause that girl is sooooo right#ayo is literally gorgeous just... stunning#'pretty' LOL#seriously tho: why are they like this??#like. i get it. they don't want people to misunderstand their friendship but ??? i mean??#why are they so silly#anyway. what a moment in history#people should keep calling out people (especially cis men) when their compliments don't do living goddesses any justice idc#i wanna see more of this#imma add the#sydcarmy#tag#just because this is my target audience lol#ayo edebiri#jeremy allen white#they just keep making it weird it's so funny
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god hole is a fundamental dennis scene but not because of the way everyone else uses it
#ada speaks#you use it to say dennis is unfulfilled because hes not having sex with mac i use it to tie literally everything he says and does back to#one. very specific line.#i don't want real power. because with real power comes real responsibility. and i don't want any of that shit.#i just want the money. and The Illusion of Power. (and puss)#did i do it did i quote it right#wait hang on#HELP I GOT IT WORD FOR WORD I TRULY EXPECTED TO FUCK UP SOMEWHERE#ok. well#anyway. anywayyy. EVERYTHING. all of dennis' motivations whether intentional or not. come back to this#and everyone misunderstands dennis in a very similar way: assuming he is a control freak#its not true! thats not true!#surface dennis vs actual dennis!#he appears that way but he doesn't want the responsibility that comes with truly being in control#he just wants to feel like he is or at the very least Could be in control#in gets analyzed when he talks about being the one standing near the executioners switch#and knowing that he Could throw it.#its more about dennis' reluctance to be out of control than it is about him being in control. that loss. when the illusion breaks.#thats when it becomes a problem#he needs insurance. a way to get the upper hand if he ever does find himself being manipulated
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If there is at least one thing I can credit FE for doing better than Tales in localization, it's not trying to actively go out of their way for an entire game to avoid subtext or direct text between two men that is romantic or implied romantic. Funny when it's so present that the attempt doesn't even work; infuriating that it was attempted to begin with.
So as much as I often have issues with some of FE's localizations, at least they have a leg up on loc Tales for that.
#DCB Comments#imagine changing entire sentences and vocal tones just to try to avoid it#if anything I'd say at least in FE the locs just... keep what's there like#they could've toned Soren and Houses Yuri down and they didn't. they just kept their lines or in some cases#especially with Houses Yuri I'd say leaned into them#have to specify bc Houses Yuri got to keep his bi agenda. Vesperia Yuri had the unfortunate issue of#the loc not wanting to keep his gay and trying reeeeally hard to avoid it#including altering entire sentences to avoid any woe is them misunderstandings about men having feelings for each other#meanwhile Houses Yuri is free to call men cute and lo and behold everyone loved that for him#they removed and altered a LOT of Vesperia Yuri's personality traits#(including any ability to express real sadness or fear bc woe is them if he's not a cool edgy man)#but they also really changed his tone toward Flynn PLUS some of what they say to each other#and twisted it to make it sound like Yuri was either angry or wasn't actually emotional abt him#forget the way they brought Grant George in for the DE release and made him sound just completely DEAD with zero personality#like. I can tolerate playing Houses dubbed despite my gripes with it (story based stuff)#it didn't feel like they were trying to alter LBGT+ aspects and they even for some rly leaned into it#basically if you haven't played Vesperia Yuri is... really gay coded. the loc pretended not to notice#in fact he's queer + gay coded bc and doesn't fit male gender norms and the gacha games LOVE that with his hair/outfits#Rays mind you is JP only bc it was shut down very quickly in the west and Vesp Yuri's story in Rays is uh#basically it centers around Flynn he loses his shit to protect Flynn and they do the usual like#don't-admit-it's-gay-outright in fictional media by using the ''Yuri's important person'' shtick#but he activates a special power in the middle of utterly raging to get Flynn back from their enemies#funny thing? that game never made it to that arc. I was told in about five months the western ver would've gotten that#but in some way I'm glad it didn't bc who knows how they would've tried to spin that#It's BAFFLING to me how you can get characters in Tales like JAY but the locs shake in their boots at the idea of queer gays#but given how allergic fictional media is to admitting a male character is gay -gestures to Ike and Vesp Yuri-#I'm not surprised I'm just actually angry that the locs try to censor homosexual relationships as much as possible even when they barely ca#if anyone does know Vesp Yuri and is confused on why I'm calling him gay coded despite what the dub did with Judith feel free to ask#bc I do ship them a little bit myself! but I just recognize that canon wise I really can't see him as anything but gay-demiromantic#but again at least FE locs don't shake in their boots anymore abt same sex pairs including men (side eyes Lucius/Raven)
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#i genuinely think some leftists on this website care more about taking a shit on the libs so they can feel#morally and intellectually superior and self righteous than they do about doing fucking anything within their own power to combat fascism#it is one thing to hold the corrupt establishment accountable and another thing entirely to just refuse to participate#in any kind of political action that isn't protesting#and don't misunderstand me protesting is something we SHOULD do#but you cannot FIX the problems if you are point blank unwilling to settle for anything less than The Revolution#because knowing literally anything about the history of revolutionary movements in the world will tell you that even when they succeed#the process of then creating something better in their place is long and difficult and boring and highly complex#and just as vulnerable to abuse and corruption than the thing they're replacing if not moreso because of the instability that comes#with throwing down an old regime via armed conflict#i don't know what these people fucking want is what i am getting at bc a better world does not magically spring up in the aftermath of war#like do you want to work to FIX the shitty house we all have to live in or do you just want to burn it down with no organized plan#or willingness to work with people you don't entirely agree with to build a new one?#like i am not even necessarily AGAINST burning the shitty old house down but frankly i don't think any of you fuckers#know anything about construction#or project management#and also by the way there will definitely be innocent people who do not deserve it who will die in the house fire#many of whom will be the most vulnerable people among us who will have the hardest time getting out of that house fire#if we can't get our shit together enough to cooperate now how exactly the fuck do you expect to do it when the time comes to BUILD#instead of tear down?
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No.
Just don't, please.
#pizza tower#pizza tower au#it's not hypnosis guys please stop#nothing personal i just don't want to be compared with the other au#I'm aware they're similar but please i don't want any misunderstanding#sketch#doodle#doodles#this is kinda getting annoying
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I feel like certain people on Tumblr have really been fighting for backwards progress when it comes to how we talk about mental illness and abuse. I see posts at least several times a week on my dash that seem to have the purpose of implying people with insert-mental-illness and/or insert-symptom are not abusive when they do insert-action-that-makes-people-uncomfortable, often times meaning to promote a more positive image of people with particularly stigmatized conditions, like personality disorders, mood disorders, psychosis, addiction, or neurodivergence. And I really really hate it because these posts almost always have the ultimate purpose of telling people not just "This thing is not inherently abusive," but often it comes across as "You were not abused."
I just find that to be really unhelpful and unintentionally hurtful, and for what? I believe that destigmatizing various mental conditions is a worthy cause, but at the same time this type of rhetoric seems to be so protective of people in whichever stigmatized group they're trying to advocate for, that it comes back around to a sort of respectability politics. Anybody can be an abuser. And someone's means and methods of abusing can very much be influenced by a condition they have. Why wouldn't it be? Their conditions will affect every aspect of their life and their interpersonal relationships. Especially if these issues are going untreated or being insufficiently managed. I don't understand why anyone would want to make it appear as if abusers are mostly neurotypical and mentally well people, or that if they aren't, then their conditions have nothing to do with it and the overlap is merely incidental. What? It makes it so hard for anyone who is a victim to come to terms and identify the dynamics of what they've gone through.
Addicts and mentally ill people don't have to be unproblematic in order to be humanized and accepted. And nobody profits from writing hard and fast rules about how abuse apparently works, drawing clear lines between which behaviors can, and cannot, ever be abuse.
#tales from diana#making unrebloggable bc i can't handle the discourse on this topic#my own experience with being abused and taken advantage of by someone who almost CERTAINLY had npd... just kinda breaks me#when i see this and it's like making it out to be 'everyone who says they suffered from narcissistic abuse is lying#or misunderstanding what narcissism is because ppl w npd would NEVER do this'#i can see that it's a highly stigmatized term and i don't want to act like an expert on what ppl w the condition go through#but i can tell you i felt deep sympathy for this man for a long time. i felt pity for all he'd gone through. but he'd just lay on the guilt#for every little thing i did that ever displeased him for any reason. he just degraded and disrespected me. and USED me#he used me for money for attention for CONSTANT attention oh my god#he wouldn't even let me go to sleep sometimes before 3 am. and he stole so much money from me#he put me in physical danger. he gossiped about me to all my friends when i was starting to distance myself#before i even came to terms with just how toxic he was to me.#and every time i just wanted to go somewhere wo him or even just stay at home by myself#it was about HIM. it was about how HE felt about it. he had ZERO sympathy for me and i handled all his emotional labor#this man couldn't even think for himself. he brought all his problems to me for me to sort through bc he was so inept and shallow#he was lazy he was careless he didn't listen to ppl he was casually rude#i didn't allow myself to accept these parts of him bc of all he suffered through i felt like he was just a sad little boy#who never learned manners or etiquette or. just. respect#basic respect. as much as i outlined what i wasn't ok w and what hurt me. it didn't matter to him#and NONE of these things are inherently the things that make me think he has npd#his actual suffering and the things i felt bad for him about were very real and severe#but i know what happened between us and i know he was abusive to me. the ppl writing these posts do not.#to say that someone has been abusive in an interpersonal relationship should be something we should be able to respect#and give ppl the benefit of the doubt. and victims may OFTEN not be well-informed about their own abusers' issues#but ppl can just know whether or not they were abused. regardless of if they fully grasp the why and how#if victims say something problematic or paint w a broad brush talking abt ppl who have something in common w their abuser#we should still correct that gently and kindly and not dismiss their experience outright#like i can't believe i have to say that. but i've seen some seriously upsetting posts on here recently.
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(
#im actually very upset abt this lol#all of the other tricks ive found rely on having a dog to walk#and like i would love to get my own dog but i absolutely cannot afford one lmao#so i guess i just. still can't go on walks#nobody seems to understand just how impossible it is for me to walk down the street when im not trying to get somewhere#like just going for a walk for fun/to look at nature feels like im being killed#people are LOOKING at me and when someone even so much as glances at me while im walking i instantly feel like I'm doing something wrong#or like they're going to misunderstand my sort of odd behaviors#i can't walk slow because they'll think im a stalker. i can't walk fast because ill get out of breath and they'll think im disgusting#i can't keep a normal pace because im too nervous and i just spend the whole time tense and hate myself even more when i get home#like. what the hell am i supposed to do lol#getting a dog is the only way i think i could stop myself from spiraling like that bc of COURSE im walking slow and leisurely.#im walking my dog. my dog wants to smell and has to poop or whatever#im no longer a freaky fat stalker im just some guy walking my dog#this became more of a vent than i was expecting lmao but if anyone has any actual tangible tips for how to go on walks i would appreciate it#when i had to walk 2 miles to class i used to take a small part of an edible right before i got on the bus lmao and that worked WONDERS#but i don't want to have to do that just to walk around my own neighborhood when i eventually move out#i just want to be normal lmao i want to go out and find bugs and look at leaves#i guess i could walk in the woods but what if i get lost#i want to be able to look at stuff. i want to be able to stop and look at a plant while some person passes by me#without feeling like im going to blow up or like they're going to hit me or like IM going to hit THEM#im used to anxiety but i always feel so erratic in public places. when everyone wore masks i was a little better#i still mask most of the time but it doesn't help anymore bc now im like one of the only people that does it#so now instead of blending in AND having my face covered i just stand out more#my face is still covered so it still helps but its like barely a net positive lmao#i want to be able to look around without worrying that someone is looking at me from their window and thinks im a stalker#truly how the hell am i supposed to do that without a dog lol
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not vagueblogging in a mean way but in a "this is tangentially related to a post i saw but not nearly enough to leave it in the tags of the post", but it's like. so fucking incredibly important to me that the cemeteries of amalo is not a series where the main character loses their religious faith and finds new faith in a secular source. like of everything i care about in literature right this moment, at the very top of the list is "thara celehar not being beaten and bullied by the narrative out of his faith in ulis." this was not even a concern to me at first because it seemed unthinkable but the longer it takes the tomb of dragons to come out, the more the possibility scares the ever loving shit out of me. like no one is allowed to be religious in spec fic even though that's the easiest place to have religious characters, much less religious AND gay AND mentally ill and none of those things are like, canceling each other out -- they are all braided together and inform each other and build his character and like. to me the whole character falls apart if you take faith out of that braid. i know that people fall out of faith and that's valid and fine but can i please have one character. ONE. one character. who stays. pleeeeeease katherine addison i'm begging you. let me keep this one.
#there are so many characters who are like 'actually fuck this' re: religion and that's fine and good#that's many people's experiences i get it#but can i have one!!! please!!!! one!!!!!!!!#one of many reasons i love merle theadventurezone tbh though he isn't really what you'd call. like. devout#lmao but the religious wish fulfillment of hearing God say 'i'm not your god but you're my follower'.........that's the shit#like between fictional characters' arcs revolving around the loss of faith + the de-faithification of real religious figures#(joan of arc feels like the most notable one)#i would just. like. i don't want to be a stereotypical whiny entitled xtian i don't want to take away characters that mean to ex-religious#but also One Queer Religious Who Stays Religious. just one. right now all i am asking for is one.#aster chat#and when i say 'no one is allowed to be religious' i don't mean in a xtian martyr persecution complex way#i mean the insistence on so many writers of writing ALL religion out of spec fic#i want more people of all faiths in spec fic i want more queer people of all faiths in spec fic#i want bullshit fantasy religions and far-flung future versions of real life religions#(esp with no less than two tor authors literally replacing any kind of meaningful religion with. talk therapy.)#(i.e. the tea monk concept from monk and robot and the 'temple aunts' in gold and iron)#(such a gross misunderstanding of what religion actually provides people who have some kind of faith lmao. and for what.)
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