#I hope y’all do

[ch0mpkin]

mavbo cus im sick and my head hurts

[badolmen]

They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.

[the-storyteller78]

“Though I never thought that it would come to this…”

[excellentrectangles]

hey disney so uh how dedicated are we to this being a miniseries? because this truly is too good to limit to one season!

[leafeyrune]

Too ???

[keys-hellscape-1020]

Brown Eyes

A/N: sorry I disappeared y’all, I got a new job and I have like no free time. I’m hoping that once I get used to it I’ll have more time to write. In the mean time enjoy this short blurb.

Jason Todd x gn!Reader

Content warnings: Jason Todd is utterly in love with you, reader is described as having brown eyes (I feel that’s kinda obvious), reader is described as only wearing Jason’s shirt, Oral (reader receiving) but it remains vague, oral scenes are more for the intimacy than the smut, Jason Todd is SO cheesy while flirting.

————

Jason Todd loves the way your eyes look. He loves how they can change so drastically depending on the time of day. He loves how they catch the light and reflect it back so beautifully.

-

He loves when he slides into bed as the first rays of sunlight stream through the window, and while he hates waking you, he can’t help but feel warm as he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead at the sight of your sleepy yet loving expression when you stir. As he settles down and pulls the blankets up to cover you both he can’t help but admire how your eyes light up with a warm honey tone as they catch the red and oranges rays of the sunrise. Jason leans in and kisses your lips. He loves you more than words can express.

-

He loves when he wakes up to an empty bed, prompting him to go searching for you, only for his nose to be met with the smell of a cooking breakfast and his eyes to be blessed with the sight of you in the kitchen, clad only in one of his T-shirts. He watches from afar, leaning against the wall as he becomes entranced in the way the hem of his shirt dances deliciously across the tops of your thighs. When you begin to place food on plates he approaches you from behind, his hands circling around your waist to hold you close as he places his head on your shoulder.

“Thought you were just gonna stand there forever.” You quip as you gently bump your heads together, he returns the gesture affectionately.

“How could I stay put when the food looks so good.” He hums lowly, pressing his mouth against the skin of your neck, causing a bone-deep shiver to rack your chest. Jason chuckles at the sensation.

“The food’s gonna get cold.” You warn half-heartedly, pushing the food out of the way just as Jason spins you and places you on the counter before eagerly dropping to his knees.

“I want desert first.” Jason teases, snickering as you pretend to gag at his cheesy comment. The mood shifts quickly however as the sight of Jason playing with the hem of his shirt as he kisses the inside of your thighs sends a shiver down your spine and prompts you to let out a deep sigh. Jason loves the way your pupils darken with lust as you watch him, loves the way he can see you let go as he breaks you down before he builds you right back up.

-

He loves how you cuddle against him during aftercare. He loves how the colors of the movie you had insisted on watching dance across your eyes. He loves the captivated look on your face, how you lean further into him when a dramatic scene happens, and how he can feel you tense up when you get nervous.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been gazing at you for, but his trance is broken when you look up at him with a playful quirk in your brow.

“Are you even watching the movie?” You tease, stretching your neck to place a chaste kiss to a dark bruise on his collar bone.

He releases a deep sigh at the feeling of your lips against his skin and lets his head hit the back of the couch with a ‘thunk!’, prompting a strange sense of pride of when it succeeds in pulling a soft laugh from you. “Why would I watch a movie when you’re right here?” Jason coos, letting his eyes dance over the highlights of your face as you roll your eyes at his cheesy attempting at flirting. Jason remains completely undeterred from his antics however as you nuzzle back into his side, rewinding the movie slightly so you can catch up on what he had distracted you from.

-

Jason loves how you look against him as you sleep, cuddled into his side. How you drool on his shoulder and slightly tighten your grasp on him when he moves. He loves watching how the shadows dance across your face, running up slopes and sliding down hills, chased by his fingers as he traces the lines of your skin, committing them to memory.

He stops his movements and tenses as he feels you stir slightly, before relaxing as you move slightly to hide your face where his neck meets his shoulder. Despite his best efforts Jason can’t help but let out a soft laugh as he feels you mummer some sleepy nonsense into the skin there.

He tilts his head to rest it against yours as he releases a deep sigh at the feeling of you curled up next to him. He knows that if he wants you to be able to sleep tonight he’ll have to wake you up soon, but for now he is more than content to lie here with the love of his life and guard them while they rest their eyes.

[togrowoldinv]

Best Friend’s Mom

Milf!Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader

You wake up next to your best friend’s mom and she begins to seduce you

Warnings: 18+ please! Smut! Kissing, cursing, oral (R receiving), thigh riding, Wanda being a complete milf

Note: I woke up thinking about this. Enjoy!

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist

You wake up to the feeling of someone brushing up against you. Her breasts rub against your back as her arm comes around your body.

You’d slept over at your best friend’s house, but this isn’t her. You glance at her hand to see a wedding ring and those hands you would recognize anywhere.

It’s Wanda. Your best friend’s mom. When had she gotten in the bed with you? You try to recount last night’s events but you’re not able to.

Wanda rubs her hand over your arm. You turn slightly in her embrace to look at her.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Wanda says. She’s acting like this is completely normal.

“Hey Ms. Maximoff,” you say. You’re quite dumbfounded by the whole thing.

But god, she looks so beautiful in the mornings. You’ve had a crush on her for years, but that always seemed childish to you. She was never going to like you back or risk her relationship with her daughter to be with you. Plus, she was a church going lady. She wouldn’t ever go for it.

Wanda smiles at you, noticing you’re having a lot of internal turmoil. You look away from the golden smile. It’s too perfect. It’s then that you notice you’re in her bedroom. Not your friend’s.

“You couldn’t sleep last night,” Wanda offers an explanation when she sees your confusion. “So, I offered to let you sleep with me. You know, just to calm you down.”

“Oh, um- thank you, Ms. Maximoff.”

“Please honey, you can call me Wanda. We have slept together now,” Wanda says.

You feel your entire body heat up at her words even though you know what she meant.

Wanda likes that you haven’t made a move to get out of her embrace yet. She even dares to pull you a little closer.

“Y/n,” Wanda begins. “My daughter has already gone to work for the day.”

“Okay. I’ll just be on my way,” you say, finally making an attempt to leave but Wanda pulls you back towards her.

She leans down over you from the side and it’s then you notice her nightgown. It’s loose in the front allowing for her breasts to be almost on full display for you by the way she’s leaning. Wanda smiles amusingly.

“I think you should stay here and we can do something about this crush of yours,” Wanda explains.

“I- it’s not-“

“Shh, it’s okay baby,” she says. She places a hand on your cheek. Her long fingers brush against your face. “I’ve seen you looking at me for years now. No sense in denying it. Am I right, sweetheart?”

“Yes- yes ma’am,” you say.

“Oh those manners,” Wanda chuckles. “I love them.”

You can’t help but preen a little at the praise. You feel it in your heart and so many other places. Wanda shifts to move closer to your face. Her breasts rest against your chest.

“I’ve been looking at you too, y/n. You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman,” Wanda says. You don’t reply and Wanda grabs your chin. “Don’t lose those manners on me now.”

“Sorry!” You say quickly, not wanting whatever this is to stop. “Thank you for the compliment, ma’am.”

“That’s a good girl,” Wanda says. “Now, this can happen a couple of different ways.”

You swallow thickly in anticipation of what ‘this’ is. But you’re ready.

“I’m going to kiss you now. If you hate it, we’ll stop. If you don’t hate it, we’ll keep going. And I’d really like to see that body of yours under mine, so please don’t hate it,” Wanda says.

Her words are calculated, like she’s been planning this. Or at least she thought of it before.

“I won’t hate it,” you assure her. That’s all she needs to have the confidence to start.

Wanda leans down and kisses your lips. She starts slow, pulling the softest moans from you by just kissing your lips. When her tongue licks against your lips, you feel like you could explode beneath her. Nothing has ever felt so good.

“Have you never had a woman’s tongue in your mouth, y/n?” Wanda asks you.

You wonder how she has with such a reputation as a perfect Christian she maintains. Everyone in town knows Wanda is a dedicated servant of the Lord.

“No ma’am,” you answer, breathless from her kisses.

“Me either,” Wanda admits. Oh, that changes things. “Only my husband’s and he’s been gone a long time.”

Wanda’s husband died years ago from an illness. You remember holding your best friend’s hand as she cried over her father. The reminder is almost enough to make you stop this, but Wanda keeps talking.

“I really need to do this, okay? You understand right, baby? I’m still so lonely and depraved,” Wanda says, revealing a more vulnerable side of this. She wasn’t just attacking you with affection for your sake. But also hers.

“Yes ma’am, I understand. Do whatever you want to me,” your words slip out. You want to cringe, but Wanda just grins wickedly.

This time, she kisses you while using her tongue. You use yours too as per her want for it. You and Wanda kiss for a long time before your hands begin to wander.

You grab her waist and pull her further on top of you. She gasps at the movement but recovers quickly. Wanda moves her kisses to your neck as her hands reach under your shirt hem.

“I want to see more of you,” Wanda says. She shifts her hips down to yours so she can lift your shirt off. She’s pleased you hadn’t slept with a bra on. Her hands immediately move over your breasts. Her fingers grip already hardened nipples.

You bunch her night down up at her waist and pull it further up her body. You knew she worked out, having seen her leaving the gym a few times, but nothing prepared you for seeing her perfectly toned body.

“You’re so beautiful,” you find yourself breathing out.

Wanda looks at you through her long eyelashes. She smiles softly, appreciating the compliment.

You sit up and take the nightgown off of Wanda. She’s bare underneath. Not even panties adorn her body.

“Fuck,” you mumble.

“That’s quite the language for a sweet girl like you,” Wanda says, her tone a bit scolding.

“Sorry ma’am,” you say. But you’re not.

Wanda makes the move to bring your hands to her breasts. She keeps her hands on yours as you massage them and play with her nipples.

What she doesn’t expect is when you lean in and take the nipples in your mouth one at a time. You suck on them. Wanda’s head falls back in pleasure as she grips your shoulders to stay upright.

“Oh, baby. Keep going,” Wanda says. “That feels so good.”

You keep it up while Wanda begins grinding against your leg. You can feel her wetness pooling onto your thigh and helping her continue to move against you.

“I’ve imagined this so many times,” Wanda says. “You and me sneaking around and having sex.”

“Mhm,” you mumble against her chest. You’ve imagined it too.

“So many nights I- fuck-“ Wanda tries to keep talking, but her orgasm begins washing over her.

You keep sucking her nipples and holding the back of her hips as she comes against you. Her moans are musical as she reaches her high and comes back down.

Wanda rests her forehead against your shoulder. You rub her back softly and rest your head in her neck.

“You did so good, Ms. Maximoff,” you say, keeping that name for her.

“Hmm, thank you baby,” Wanda says.

“What were you going to say earlier?” You ask her.

“When?”

“You said so many nights,” you supply. “So many nights what?”

“Oh,” Wanda says.

She’s recovered now and she pulls away from your shoulder. She takes your face between her hands and kisses your lips soundly.

“I was going to say so many nights I had to fuck myself and pretend it was you so I could get off,” Wanda says.

Your eyes go wide at her words. And you feel the unresolved ache between your legs strengthen once again.

“Um- what did you imagine?” You ask.

Wanda makes an adorable thinking face and you realize it is more than just physical attraction you feel for her all the time. It’s really that you love everything she does.

“I imagined you’d eat me out,” Wanda says. “And then I’d do the same for you. Sometimes I’d imagine you wearing a strap and making me feel so good.”

“Fuck, Ms. Maximoff,” you say. “I hope I can live up to that.”

“You will, baby. I’d like to eat you out now,” Wanda says. “May I?”

“Yes ma’am,” you say, anticipation somehow calming your nerves.

Wanda slides down your body and leaves kisses as she goes. She makes you feel worshipped in every move.

“All of this for me?” She asks as she reaches your wet underwear. She slips them down your legs and dives in.

Wanda kisses your pussy before she switches to licking. She seems to know what she’s doing and you wander how.

“Mmm, all of this wet pussy is for me?” Wanda asks. She wants a reply.

“Yes ma’am. All for you, Ms. Maximoff,” you say.

“Try again,” she instructs.

“Oh- um-“ you stumble out. She goes back to work while you figure it out. “All for you, Mommy?”

“Good girl,” Wanda says. You got it right.

You lay back on the bed as Wanda takes your clit in her mouth. She’s enjoying this, having you all wrapped up in her.

“Fuck, mommy. I’m going to come,” you say. Wanda picks up her pace, sucking your clit like it’s her favorite thing in the world.

Soon, you’re coming for her. She revels in it, licking you clean and taking her time kissing back up your body.

Wanda kisses your lips at last and you can’t help but smile into the kiss. She does the same.

“That was everything I thought it would be,” Wanda says, a content sigh falling from her mouth. She lays next to you in bed and you two look at each other.

“Even better,” you say. “Let’s do it again sometime?”

“Why not right now?” Wanda asks.

You won’t argue with that. You let her kiss you deeply again and you tangle your hands in her hair.

You’ve never been so glad you went to over to your friend’s house.

And Wanda doesn’t regret convincing you to sleep with her the night before, even though you don’t remember the red tendrils telling you to go to her room.

That day it was all your choice. She just decided you needed a little push.

One day maybe she’ll tell you there’s magic coursing through her veins, but for now you’ll sneak around and sleep with her again and again.

[diamondzart]

My first attempt at imagining adult Tanya Willis

[deathlyfruit]

happy totk release 💚💙 i’ve already embarrassed myself in front of the hot goat man and blown up a few times so i’d say it’s going well lol

[i-like-forcefem]

You wake up due to a an odd discomfort around your groin, you feel around and touch something soft and plastic?

You turn on the lights and find yourself lock in a small, pink chastity cage

You panic a little, you’ve never done this before, you try to pull it off and it won’t budge and you notice just how little you can touch your member now

You get hard

It hurts

You look around the room and see an envelope next to a small pile of clothes and some odd plastic?

You open the envelope

My dearest love,

You wronged me, the fact you wouldn’t know who I am makes it that much worse

So I thought it’d only be right if I punished you

As you might’ve found out already I’ve securely locked you up and only I have the key

If you ever want it back you’ll need to do some things for me first

Mod course you won’t be allowed to touch your memeber until I release you

Next you will need to wear the clothes, and insert the remote anal vibrator I provided to you

You will then need to watch any porngraphic content I send you over the course of the next 2 weeks, dressed up and wearing the plug

I’ve made a separate number where we can chat

I expect you to use the proper respect when talking to me

I expect you to thank me for teaching you how to be a good girl

And I expect you to drop whatever you’re doing whenever I send you a message, and if I so ask you’ll put on the shuttle clothes I gave you, put in the plug, and watch whatever degrading smut I sent you while I control your ass

Do this like a good girl for 2 weeks and I’ll take off the cage

Mess up once, and I’ll flush the key down the drain

Oh and don’t think to get it removed or anything, I got that onto you without you noticing once, and if you get it off I’ll know that means you’re ready for your second round!

And trust me you wouldn’t like the second round, something tells me that you’d hate losing your freedom of movement

So now be a good girl and dress yourself up already love~

I’m waiting

Oh! And one more thing!

I can and will change the rules at any time, for example one I thought of right now: the two weeks only count down if you spent the whole day in cute woman’s clothing, so if you ever put on those nasty clothes you’re wearing right now, the day doesn’t count and you still have 2 weeks to go

Good luck cutie! Try to keep me happy~

[mikhailoism]

a little night out for bathena !!! (also on twitter if it looks familiar)

[rainyrambles-overcod]

day 1 of drawing one of the cod characters until I’m comfortable with trying to find my style

[uhohdad]

Would you ever write anything with a plus size reader? Maybe she’s (or they, can be gn idc!) really insecure but they hide it behind jokes and Konig sees right through it because he does the same

Cut to him always giving them compliments and making sure they stay fed and throwing them over his shoulder like they weigh nothing (usually in front of people cause he likes to embarrass and humiliate reader cause he is still kinda a jerk /affectionate/)

Can be nsfw or whatever you want, I’m not good at plot lol so Idk I just need him to treat me like I’m a teeny lil thing (cause let’s be real he really is a mountain lol)

König x PlusSized!Reader

───♡──────────

He’s getting tired of this nasty habit, liebling.

Everyday before your shower, you’ll stand in the mirror, honing in on that gorgeous, perfect body, digging for any little thing to critique.

“You better be thinking nice thoughts in there, little one.”

You just let out a groan, too far sunk into the spiral of self-hatred to claw yourself back out.

König rises from his spot on the bed a greets you with disapproving, half-lidded eyes in the mirror.

“What is it this time?”

“Tummy. Thighs. Chest.”

“Ach, you mean the best parts?”

You answer with an annoyed hum.

Konig will place his big, sturdy hands on your bare hips from behind, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on your shoulder.

The gentle peck distracts you from the strong arms scooping you up, a squeak leaving you as he sweeps you off your feet in one swift motion, ripping away your view of yourself in the mirror.

“König!”

“What?” He draws, carrying you from the bathroom to the bedroom.

“Put me down!” You say through a giggle, kicking your feet in his restraint.

“Hold on, I just have to get my curls in.”

He holds you horizontally across those strong arms, muscles tensing as he lifts and lowers you while you giggle all the way.

“I’m too heavy for this!”

“Barely a warm-up, liebling.”

He effortlessly tosses you onto the bed with a bounce, crawling over top you before you can even finish your squeal.

He showers kisses all over your bare tummy, his stubble sanding against plush, soft skin. Trailing his slobbering kisses up to your chest, giving your perfect breasts plenty of love. Your thighs would be last, showering you with pecks and even licking slow stripes across the flesh.

“König!”

“What?”

He’ll feign innocence, but that cocky smirk on his face betrays him.

“It’s too bad you can’t see what I see.”

───♡──────────

[prythianpages]

thinking about the New Year’s Eve trend where you go under the table (also I always grew up hearing that going under the table will bring you a luck in finding a partner but now I see the trend is to go under the table and eat 12 grapes so now idk what the actual tradition is lol, anyways back to my little thought):

You made sure to have the grapes ready at this year’s NYE, talking excitedly about the man you want to manifest with Nesta…who knows what she’s doing and suggesting traits that tease at Azriel. Cassian thinks it’s hilarious and he is also excited to see if you’ll actually be able to devour all 12 grapes so fast, already placing bets with Feyre.

Meanwhile, Azriel, who is madly crushing on you, watches from his corner of the room. He thinks it’s just all fun and games…this can’t really work, right? I mean, why would it work? There’s no real magic behind this…

But then Mor casually brings up that she had done this one NYE and it brought her, her most memorable fling and she sighs wistfully…panic begins to stir in Azriel.

The clock is ticking…

Azriel’s shadows begin to dance frantically around him, mirroring his inner turmoil as the inner circle prepares to cheer you on.

His eyes widen when you scoop a couple of grapes into your hand because Mother above, you’re actually going to do this and what if it actually works and he never gets a chance to confess…

10…9…8…

Azriel suddenly appears at your side, wings knocking awkwardly against the table, his shoulder bumping yours as he makes himself fit in that small space.

“Az, what are you—“

“I have to tell you something.”

“Right now??”

7…6…

Azriel reaches for your hand, the one that is holding onto a handful of grapes, and lowers it. A confused frown settles on your features and he coaxes your gaze to his with his other hand, eyes searching yours.

“Az—“

5…4…

The hand clutching the handful of grapes twitches in his grip, still determined to complete the tradition.

3…2…

But Azriel tightens his hold and wastes no more time. He leans in, crashing his lips against yours and pulling you into a frantic but sweet kiss.

“Happy new year!”

When he pulls away, your cheeks are flushed and eyes are wide but there’s a smile on your face. “What else do you have to tell me?”

Azriel only grins and says “so much more,” before kissing you again.

[missbehavior0u0]

Since the zine has been delayed indefinitely and probably won’t come out, here’s my piece for potluckstuck! :U

[kandulce]