#I hope people find it funny

[aardappel-van-mijn-oog]

So I saw Barbie today

And because I live in the Netherlands, it was the original English movie with Dutch subtitles. This got me thinking, what would the Barbie song by Aqua look like if it were translated into Dutch? ... and also became a desperate cry for help...

ENJOY!

Ik ben een Barbie Meisje,  Op mijn eigen reisje, Plastisch leven, ik kan niets bekeven, Ga maar, kam mijn haar, gedwongen eigenaar, Tegen je verbeeldingskracht, ik heb zelfs geen flauwe macht!

Kom op Barbie, gaan we feesten!

Ik ben een Barbie Meisje, Kocht voor een lage prijsje,  Plastisch leven werd toch niet zo beschreven, Ga maar, kleed me uit, dan gooi me door het ruit, Voor jouw creatie, werd gedaan aan mij castratie!

If you want me to do the rest of the song then ... idk give me the sweet ambrosia of notes and your wish might just come true. Have fun translating that for those who don't have the good sense to speak Dutch already.

[ratbastarddotfuck]

if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.

Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.

[wishingly-mesh]

misery x cpr x reese's puffs

mk11 raiden, 1995 movie raiden, and mk1 raiden

the arts a bit wonky in this but I hope you enjoy the silly animation :3

[canisalbus]

I'd like to say that I love your art but never really saw the older stuff where Machete is just getting the shit kicked out of him by a homophobic universe so I only know your cute gay dogs as operatically dramatic dudes getting into Situations that only homosexuality can save them from.

.

[madootles]

;)

[unexpectedbrickattack]

short king and his shorter kings

[corrodedcoughin]

This might be the second worst thing that’s ever happened to Gareth while wearing these stupid shorts, or in general he guesses. The first being when he was in gym class and the got caught on the fence he tried to hop in order to skip said class, successfully exposing his lemon yellow carebear boxers, the only pair he had left because everything else was in the wash. Luckily it was only the gym teacher, Mr Carrey, and Linda Stern, a girl that kept to herself so unlikely to share such scandal. Neither brought it up again but that doesn’t mean Gareth was free of the memory, or free of reliving it whenever he opened his drawer to pull out some underwear.

But it’s not just the shorts that tie Gareth’s ‘most embarrassing and traumatising events of my life so far’ memories together. No, the instigator of both of these events also keeps them joined in Gareth’s mind. Edward Munson. It was Eddie who insisted that skipping class while in said class would be the smartest move to make ‘think of it Gareth, imagine it, skipping right under Mr Carrey's nose? He'd never expect it! High class rogue moves for sure!’

So of course Gareth was convinced by Eddie’s manic eyes and excitement and successfully flashed his gym teacher while the mastermind was laughing and pulling him down off the fence. Mr Carrey must have felt sorry enough for Gareth to let him run and isn’t that a fun addition to an already horrific memory?

Anyway, back to Eddie Munson; worst person to enter Gareth’s life. Because now? Now Gareth is stood outside a stupidly big and stupidly fancy house, in the offensive (now repaired, thanks Granny) gym shorts, and a pair of plastic and bent out of shape fairy wings. Originally he was supposed to be in a white vest too but he drew the line there, adamant he’d be wearing his Iron Maiden shirt to save some sort of dignity. And to top it all off it’s a beautiful day so of course people are out mowing their lawns, families are walking their dogs, children are playing in the streets and just enjoying the surprisingly mild february weather. All of them staring, quite obviously, at what they see as a strange teenager in wings being shouted at by an equally strange kid hiding behind a, not nearly big enouhg, bush for ‘stealth reasons’ apparently. 

‘RING THE DOORBELL MAN, COME ON!’

Gareth slowly turns to look over his shoulder to glare at Eddie who is peaking around the shrubbery. 

‘YOU RING THE FUCKING DOORBELL!’

‘GARETH YOU PROMISED! DON’T BE A DICK’

‘YEAH, BECAUSE YOU TRICKED ME!’

‘NO I DIDN’T, YOU SAID YES NOW RING TH-’

Of course that’s exactly when the door to the stupid house opens and the reason Gareth is here steps into the doorway. 

Gareth grits his teeth and begins to recite his lines ‘Steve, o steve. You are beauty that has to be seen to be believed. Wont you be mine until the end of time?’ He finishes and stands glaring over Steve fucking Harrington’s shoulder

‘DO THE FUCKING REST GARETH’ Eddie’s voice emanates from somewhere to the back of Gareth, probably still hiding behind the stupid bush. So Gareth ‘does the rest’ he does a very slow and deliberate 360 spin before crouching down to one knee and shooting a plastic bow and arrow at Steve’s chest. Of course the arrow just rattles to the floor, sad and pathetic, just like it’s shooter Gareth thinks to himself. 

‘Gareth? Why…umm, are you okay?’ Steve is obviously trying to hold back laughter and doing a terrible job of it. His face is convulsing like he’s just eaten a whole lemon, rind and all. And well, who knows, maybe he has, maybe it's a secret trick for keeping his hair so big, Gareth isn’t here to judge, he just wants to leave. 

‘Dude please just answer the question and put me out of my misery’ He’s still half on the ground and his knee hurts and it’s hot and he’s kneeling at Steve Harrington’s fucking door dressed as a fucking cupid because he couldn’t say no to his fucking stupid fucking best friend. Gareth pulls himself away from thoughts of despair when he sees Steve’s mouth open to speak. He’s got one hand on the door frame, the other on the back of his neck

‘Oh, uh, yeah? I mean, yes? This is for Eddie right?’ Gareth stopped listening after the initial ‘yeah’, instead standing and turning to the, very small, hedge Eddie was doing an awful job of concealing himself behind 

‘HE SAID YES. CAN I GO HOME NOW?’

Suddenly there's a whoop and an air punching Eddie Munson who realises he’s exposed his ‘perfect’ (shitty) hiding spot and is in full view of Steve. The idiot even tries to play off the air punch by combing his hand through his hair which obviously gets stuck on his rings and then tries to play that off by just keeping his hand in his hair while waving with the other, not trapped hand. With a violent yank he manages to free the entangled fingers with only a small whine.

‘Uhh…Hi Steve’ Eddie says with a dopey smile and somehow, somehow he’s got an equally lovesick looking Steve smiling right back at him ‘Hi Eddie’. At this point, Gareth has quite frankly had enough, Eddie and Steve are slowly walking towards each other like some romcom end of the movie scene and he’ll be dammed if he’s watching those two tragically flirt at each other. So he grabs the van keys out of Eddie’s pocket as he passes, resigning himself to an hour of shooting Eddie’s empty cans in the back of the van while he waits. Gareth is almost off the lawn when Eddie must get brave

‘NICE SHORTS BY THE WAY CUPID’

‘FUCK YOU!’ Gareth snaps the arrow in two trudges off, wings flapping behind him.

—---

Three weeks ago

Gareth was at his desk, he was trying to practice some drum rhythms when Eddie flounced in and dramatically dropped onto his bed. For the past half hour Gareth had been regaled with yet more ‘reasons why Steve Harrington is my dream man’ from Eddie 

‘You don’t understand man. He was just driving and the Eagles came on. Don’t look at me like that, I know it’s the eagles, but it was life in the fast lane and he was singing along to it dude. The line! You know the one! I swear it was an instant hard on, thought I’d came by the end’

‘DUDE STOP. STOP. I’ll do whatever you want just please never talk to me about your Steve related dick events again’ Listen, Gareth loved Eddie, he did. But there's only so much a man can withstand and Eddie could monolgue for hours if given the chance.

‘Whatever I want?’ There was no obvious devious tone here but Gareth still should have known better than to agree. If he had clocked Eddie's face he would have seen an expression so devious that he'd be running out the door.

‘Yes! Fuck, just no more. My ears are never going to feel clean again’

[williamverse]

There was a storm during my first journey to Dunwall. Thick dark clouds covering the skies, waves crushing into ship's sides. Standing on the ship's deck, I've witnessed something I'll never forget: a Leviathan, rising from the water's surface. It felt like for that spare moment the time had stopped. A giant whale-like creature cut through the water with his fins, glistening against the cloudy sky with his dark skin. Seagulls looked like nothing but countless specks floating around him. His powerful body was covered in countless scars with the sight of which I wondered: how many of them were left by other animals and how many - by humans? Beneath his skin - fat, powering his huge body. Hundreds of other whales were killed for that precious fat, later to be turned into whale oil, that would soon power one of the ships like the one I was boarding. But he was still alive, with his power still flowing through his body, only for him to use. How many nets has he torn? How many hooks had grappled his flesh and than torn out of it with a mighty tail's swing? How will he die: in whalers' hands, getting his flesh turned into food and his fat turned into fuel, or will he die of age, turning his body into a home for a new ecosystem? I saw his eyes, full of pain and hatred, but also of intelligence.

He had enough power to turn over the ship and drown everyone boarding it. But he didn't do that, diving back into the water and swimming away instead. Maybe, if he was trying to avenge himself and other whales, driven by hatred, he wouldn't be any better than humans? I didn't think about that back then, not how I think about it now, after all those years of trial my fate has set for me. In this realm I inherited Leviathan's philosophy.

[Excerpt from Lord-Protector's memoirs - by Corvo Attano]

[selfcarecap]

tag game 🎆

I’ve made a few new friends since I’ve started writing for Logan that I don’t know that well yet and I haven’t done a tag game in so long so I compiled my own from a few other ones I saw <3

last song you listened to: probably The Emptiness Machine by Linkin Park although I’ve got So Lonely by the Police stuck in my head rn so maybe that

silver or gold jewellery? silver if I have to choose one forever, but I also wear gold sometimes

do you have any tattoos? yess I have three, two on my arms and one on my leg :) also considering getting Dogpool as a LPS tattooed next 🤭

piercings? three nose piercings (one on each side and a septum bc i’m gay) and normal earlobe ones

currently reading or favourite book? i just finished Boy Parts (unfortunately disliked most of it btw, 2/5 ⭐️) and I’m either gonna read Rouge next or Are You My Mother?

a hobby you would like to try? Maybe making zines/collages? I had to make a zine for uni last semester and I loved it so much and I’m always collecting pics for collages (that I never end up using🙃) anyway

coffee or tea? Teaaa, I like green tea, chamomile tea, peppermint tea

favourite video game? Animal Crossing (ig New Horizons but I loved some of the previous ones too) or Sims 3 (although I’ve only played Sims 4 since it came out lol buuuut)

star sign? ♐️ (sagittarius with scorpio moon and taurus rising, not that I really know what that means tbh)

who is your hear me out? I feel like mine don’t qualify as hear me outs on tumblr lmao but Charles Dance/Tywin Lannister (hear me out bc he’s old ig) & Venom

tags (no pressure & feel free to ignore entirely or adjust some questions, and if anyone else wants to do this just say I tagged you <3)(some of you are not new mutuals but obviously i’m still tagging you💖) @t-lostinworlds @simplykenni @theprettyarachnid @ethanhoewke @eloquentlytired @cocoamoonmalfoy @birdstreesandhoneybees @thinkinonsense @aniqua @slushycoookie @devotion @silkscream @logansbaby (i hope all of these are mutuals anyway🫣 if not then ignore me lmao) also if you tag other people and you tag loads please consider making your own post shsksgkl <3 also tagging any of my anons if they want to do this 🫶🏼

[keepingupwiththeboltons]

Leaked promotional stills of larys and argon in season 3 (real)

Real and unedited

[lorillee]

in honor of kakashis birthday i thought i might as well finally release my half finished mini concept of "inverse lost tower where baby kakashi comes to hang out with shippuden era team 7. Badly" because obviously baby kakashi seeing his older self have relationships and happiness that baby kks doesnt think he can or deserves to have pisses him off on such a fundamental level hes so filled with rage he barely knows what to do with himself. not to mention that adult kakashis general outward lackadaisical demeanor also makes him angry because how can they have gone through all the same things and yet he still doesnt take anything seriously etc etc u already know all this. regardless the issue more than anything else was that im not much of a writer so i could never get the words to feel right so it'll probably stay unfinished forever, but take these anyways

[kacievvbbbb]

to complement this post

I think the red hair pirates would be obsessed with S-Hawk too! Especially the main group who've known Mihawk through his teenage marine hunting phase.

Benn would know they are walking on thin ice but look at him! He’s a little baby Mihawk! Look at his little uniform shirt tucked into his little shorts. Every angry and threatening expression s-hawk could make would mean nothing to a crew that has seen the real thing live and in color. It would just be adorable like look at his little frown! His glare! The threat of disembodiment in his eyes! Adorable

Mihawk is very uncomfortable with how much the red hair pirates fawn over and adore what is essentially a manufactured baby him. But yet also somehow touched? By it. He’ll kill everyone and then himself before he admits it tho

Yasopp, who actually did know a shorter 19 year old Mihawk, would ask him if he was that adorable but tiny (still can't comprehend that the seraphim are infact giant) as a child and if he had any pictures, and Mihawk almost takes his head.

[royalarchivist]

Quackity: Oh, it's gonna be so cool to see how this develops. I'm excited, I'm gonna try my best. I'm not the greatest at Minecraft whatsoever, I did nerf Green Team a little bit by accident on the second day. My bad! But, you know, I'm so ready to just grind out and see what we can do, and I just–

I wish everyone saw it with the same amount of, like, kind of enthusiasm. I think all of this and all the development and all the potential arcs, that's going to fcking allow for something absolutely incredible.

And if anyone ends up clipping any of this, something I do want to say is I implore people to view everything with a lot of enthusiasm. No stress, no anxiety, just a lot of enthusiasm. Because, again, this is going to allow for a lot of cool things in the server. Not just now, but in the future, too.

[mint-termsandconditions]

MINT HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT ROPE MF WINNING THE SC!!! AND HOW TWO WADDLE DEES DOMINATE THE BRACKETS LMAO 🎤

Flabbergasted.

BY ONE POINT TOO?!?!

LIKE WHO’S THE LAST GUY WHO VOTED IM CURIOUS?

Like if I’m being honest here, I expected Rope MF to get absolutely eaten alive when I tossed him into the tournament

The goal was to get a few laughs with Rope MF through his existence and propaganda and then probably be forgotten in the third round or something

NOT GO AND WIN THE ENTIRE SECOND CHANCE BRACKET

Like I’m so proud of my rope-loving son, freak, and other terms of endearment I can put in here.

————————————————————————

THE WADDLE WIN IS KINDA CRAZY!

Congrats to Starstuck Dee btw!!!

I’m going to refer to this post

But the fact the that Starstruck and Rope MF were the ones to represent the waddle dees is really funny to me

One of them got lost on their way to the tournament

and the other one probably didn't process the fact that he was in the tournament

It’s also very sweet that these two waddle dees who are seen as outcast

Somehow manage to find love and support in this fun little tournament

I have no good way to transition to this

but here’s a mini doodle for the two winners

[recurring-polynya]

A very happy birthday to @kaicko ! I drew my annual Byakuya for youuuuuuuuu!

(she cherished it forever)