#I haven't really thought too hard about it so like

[littleones-thoughts]

🖍️ My partner! I think I mentioned it in passing but it wasn't a serious enough conversation so I dunno if he remembers ;-;

❤️ I haven't thought about it but maybe Hayden from Fields of Mistria would be a really nice caregiver.

🩹 My head gets like...light. I get giggly and tend to talk "small". Sometimes words are hard but not always.

🧡 It isn't often, but it's pretty consistent to whenever I see my partner IRL and he uses a specific tone of voice or calls me nicknames like little one.

🍬 I didn't know it was a thing! Ooo I'd love recs!

💛 I don't really have a specific age (that I can tell??) maybe around kindergarten or first grade? I'm unsure.

🧸 I'm an only child and I regress.

💚 I heard over and over that I was an 'old soul'.

🧩 I would love a sippy cup! I'm unsure of if that's weird. But I sipped a drink a little out of s straw and have been obsessed with getting a sippy cup ever since.

💙 Not sure. I haven't had a chance to explore a lot. Maybe babycore? I'd have to do research!

🍭 I joined Tuesday! So like two days 🫣

💜 I'm not able to regress enough to have one but I think it would be Minecraft or just my "big" obsessions like MHA.

🍼 I think I'd like to make new memories. I haven't had the chance to purposefully do it yet but I think I would just want to make new memories.

🖤 Unsure? Had some friends a while back but I am unsure if I can count them because I don't know the label they used.

🪀 I tend to around my partner. Especially when I'm sleepy.

🪁 I think more traditional? Because the last time it happened I was watching Minecraft let's plays like I did when I was little and got immediately floaty lol

🎨 Paci! I like to chew on things and suck on things so I think I could benefit from one.

🍬 I am unsure of what that is.

🦋 Sometimes I am, but sometimes I think too hard about it and feel shame. And worry if I can be a successful adult with a career if I want to explore this part of me. Silly, I'm sure.

🧚🏼‍♀️ A way to relax. Life sucks, and I grew up too fast. I've recognized it's possible that may be the reason why I regress. I was always so mature. Even at the ripe age of six I was judging and annoyed at my classmates for just being kids. I feel like I didn't get to be one- at least not fully.

🧦 I'm too new to have any opinions! So far everyone seems really nice though!

🦇 You can do that!?

🌸 I don't have any particular headcanons.

🐈‍⬛ I'm probably the majority actually. (Unsure though)

🧃 Puppy!!

🐇 I only have one person I want and trust to- but I'm too nervous to ask them. I'm worried they'll find it weird.

🎀 I don't think I regress to a specific age. Or if I do I don't know what that age is.

🎮 I don't know. I daydream near 24/7 so it would probably be easy!

🌈 Werewolf! But the kind that just turns to human or wolf at will!

👾 When my partner calls me something like little one or coos at me because I did something cute according to him.

💭 Sitting on the floor and coloring while he sits on the couch. Having a sippy cup on standby of course.

🌙 Agere Ask Game!!! ⭐

🖍 Who is the first person you told/would tell about your headspace?

❤ If you had a fictional caregiver/little who would it be?

🩹 What do you experience when you regress? (i.e fuzzy feelings, motor skill or speech struggle, etc.)

🧡 How often do you regress or try to regress?

🍬 Do you read agere fanfiction and if so, about who?

💛 What school grade (if any) would you be in according to your headspace?

🧸 Are you an older sibling who regresses/caregives or a younger sibling who regresses/caregives?

💚 Were you considered an "old soul" growing up or were you more "childish"?

🧩 What was your first piece of agere gear or what would you want as your first?

💙 What's your regression/caregiving aesthetic? (kidcore, babycore, altcore, etc)

🍭 How long have you been apart of agere tumblr?

💜 What are you obsessed with right now in your headspace? (sanrio, sharks, bluey, etc)

🍼 Do you include your personal nostalgia in your regression/caregiving or are you creating new memories?

🖤 Have you met any other regressors/caregivers in real life?

🪀 Have you ever regressed in front of someone or has someone ever regressed around you?

🪁 Is your headspace affected more through traditional or alternative regression? (bottles & cartoons or horror & thrill)

🎨 What's a piece of agere gear that you really want to have/try?

🍬 Have you ever experienced vent regression?

🦋 Are you comfortable with your regression/headspace?

🧚‍♀️ What is age regression/caregiving to you?

🧦 What's something you like & don't like about the agere community?

🦇 Have you ever regressed in a dream?

🌸 Who do you headcanon as a regressor or caregiver? (fictional or real)

🐈‍⬛ Do you think you're represented enough in the agere community? (poc, boys, under 20/over 30 yrs)

🧃Which animal best represents your headspace?

🐇 Has it been or was it hard for you to find a little/caregiver?

🎀 Does your headspace match the gear you use/want? (i.e. regresses to 10 years but loves pacifiers)

🎮 Do you struggle to play pretend or are you super imaginative?

🌈 What mythical creature would you rather be? (Hybrid, Fairy, Dragon, etc)

👾 What's the quickest way to get you in your headspace?

💭 What's one thing you often daydream about doing with your little/caregiver?

[magics-neptunes-things]

Love Me Harder

Hi guys :)

Still working on my WIP! This is a request I got here, so I hope the person asking for it will be happy with what I wrote :)

I'm sorry for the delay by the way.

But please enjoy ♥

TW : Head injury, concussion, jealousy, angst with happy ending.

Leah and you have been a couple for almost two years now, even if you managed to get it hidden for now. You always had something for the girl to be honest, but when you met Leah, she was already with Jordan and you weren’t really a couple breaker. Sure, it hurts sometimes to see her happy with someone else, but at least she was happy and that’s all that matters for you.

You tried to forget her by sleeping around or having a girlfriend yourself, but nothing really worked. You usually dated people away from the football world, not wanting to mix your professional life with your private life. It happened that you slept with other players though, but never in your team or with them being friends with one of your friends.

With that state of mind, it was hard to find someone to sleep with, but at least you were out of trouble.

Well, that’s what you thought until today.

Leah and you aren’t playing for the same team, she was born at Arsenal while you travel a lot during your career. You started in Manchester City, then you went to Lyon, then to Bayern and since last season you have been back in Manchester City. You like it here and it was easier to live your relationship with Leah that way.

You are together when you are playing for your national team though, you have been the number one goalkeeper of the team for years now. Leah is back from her injury and is now back in national camp too.

Sarina knows that you are together, like all your teammates. The only people who don’t know are the public. You are friends with a lot of Lionesses, so when you are spotted with Leah and some of your friends, no one really puts two and two together. Meado tease you a lot about it, but in reality, you aren’t fan of PDA anyway and so is Leah. Maybe not like you are with your friends, but it’s another discussion.

Back to today, you are playing against Italy for the qualification of the next international championship. After your World Cup and the fact that you weren’t qualified for the Olympics Games, all your team wants to show that you are still here and deserve to win the Euro back in 2022.

You were doing the pitch inspection, casually talking with Lucy and LJ when you heard someone calling your name. Leah, as always, wasn’t far away from you with Keira and Georgia.

“Y/N?”

You turn without really thinking in the direction of the voice, just to be faced with a girl that you actually slept with several months ago. To be honest, it was just before you got in a relationship with Leah. You hate to admit it, but you kind of ghost that poor girl after that, way too happy to finally be with the girl you were in love with.

“Oh, hi Milena” you say nervously.

You even have forgotten that she’s in fact from Italy and you will be facing her today. You can see Lucy exchanging an intrigued look with LJ next to you while the girl keeps walking in your direction.

“I’m happy to see you” she says when she’s in front of you.

You don’t have time to answer before she hugs you and your arms automatically surround her waist to give her back her embrace. If your arms very quickly drop from her body, one of her hands stays in your arm.

You probably never have been so uncomfortable during the rest of your life. You can feel Leah burning gaze on your back.

“How are you? I think we haven't talked for like two years” she laughs.

“Oh, uh. I’m good thanks” you mumble.

“You look good indeed” she smirks.

You deal very badly with cringe, to be honest. So, you are particularly relieved when Lucy passes her arm around your shoulders before talking.

“We have to go back inside” Lucy says, nodding towards the locker room.

In fact, when you look around, you realise that almost all your teammates are already inside. That excuse is perfect after all. You mumble a “See you later” before letting Lucy take you out of the pitch.

Lucy and LJ manage to wait to be out of your ex’s ear before bursting into laughter. You suppose you must be grateful to them for that.

“What was that?” Lauren asks while Lucy is still laughing like crazy.

“Nothing” you roll your eyes.

“She doesn’t look like nothing” Lucy smirks when she can breathe again.

“Be careful with what you say, or Ona will receive a strange text from me, explaining how you find other girls not nothing” you frown.

She suddenly shuts up, her face becoming way more serious. It makes you smile. You never saw Lucy so whipped for a girl before. But you know that your friends deserve an explanation. You sigh softly before starting your explanation.

“It’s a girl I slept with before Leah kissed me at that party, and we got together. I was still in the process of forgetting her. I met that girl before the Euro and well… You know” you shrug. “But then after the semi-finales we got together with Leah, after that she hurt her ACL and I kind of totally forgot that girl.”

LJ hums after your explanation, nodding softly. You can see that your explanation makes sense for both of them which is great because it’s nothing but the truth.

“Leah was boiling” Lucy informs you.

You grimace at this. You were pretty sure that she would react that way. You never realise how Leah can be jealous before being with her. You like it actually, fond of the way she wants to be sure that you are hers and no one can take you away from her.

But here and now aren’t exactly the right place to show her that she is your only one.

You are nervous when you enter the changing room, looking for your girlfriend. You finally see her sitting in Georgia’s cubby. Her eyes are burning when she crosses your gaze after you enter the locker room.

Lucy goes sit on her cubby, just next to yours, while LJ goes on hers too. You want to talk to Leah, but Georgia’s non-verbal language makes you think that you better not approach Leah for now.

That girl is really scary when she wants to.

Keira’s gaze is softer and it’s what makes you walk in their direction. Lucy was right, Leah seems furious.

“Can we talk?” you ask softly when you reach them.

“No” Georgia answers harshly.

“Georgia” Keira sighs.

“Leah?” you try again, trying to cross your girlfriend’s gaze. “Please?”

She sighs and throws the towel she was holding in the cubby while standing up. She doesn’t answer really, but you follow her anyway when she walks to leave the room. You don’t really know where you are going at first, until she turns to enter in a closet.

“What do you want to talk about?” Leah asks harshly just after you close the door.

You are a little bit taken aback. You know what you want to talk about of course, but you don’t know how to start. You are sure that if you say that you know she’s jealous, she will deny it and that it will be the end of the conversation. This is not what you want.

“I just wanted to know if you are okay” you tentatively say.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

She has now her arms crossed and her famous frown on her face. You know how hard it would be to have something from this conversation.

“Because you seem angry”

Leah snorts and looks at the handle of the door. She putted her hands on her hips now and is shaking her head.

“Am I supposed to be happy when my girlfriend is getting flirted with by someone else?”

“No, that is why I wanted to talk to you too. I just…”

“Do you know her?” Leah cuts you.

This time her eyes are deep inside yours and you know that you can’t lie to her. It wasn’t something you wanted to do anyway, but with her eyes scanning your soul, it would have been impossible.

“I… We slept together some time ago” you finally sigh.

“When?”

“Just before the Euros”

You know that Leah knows perfectly that your first kiss happened after the semi-finals against Sweden and the happiness of the victory. You were the first shocked when she kissed you after some naughty dancing, but you kissed her back and the rest of the night probably made her understand very much how much you were fancying her already.

It’s even stronger now, of course.

But Leah is looking at you like she’s going to kill you.

“Don’t look at me like that, Le. I didn't know that several weeks later you would kiss me. I didn’t know you were interested in me at this point.”

You try to take her hand with yours, but she takes it away from you, before opening the door again.

“Well you can go back fucking her in that case”

“Leah!”

She slams the door, almost pinning your fingers inside. When you manage to get outside too, Leah isn’t here anymore. You decide to go back to the training room and try to talk to her again, but when you arrive, Sarina is right behind you, asking you to go training.

You aren’t really concentrating during the training to be honest; you keep looking at Leah, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t even share a look with you when you are right behind her at the beginning of the game.

You really hope that a win will ease her mood and help you to reconcile with Leah. You turn when you feel a tap on your shoulder, turning your bigger frame towards Keira. She just smiles at you, and you nod only. You are too nervous to smile, but you are glad to know that you have at least one of Leah’s friends on your side. You are sure that Leah explained everything to them.

You take a deep breath when it’s time to go on the pitch, trying to focus on the game. The national anthems help you and you keep a straight face when you check all the Italian players, even Milena.

You do your usual check with Lucy too, looking for good luck before starting the game. England is supposed to be the favourites, but Italy is fighting with all their strength. Your forwards manage to have good opportunities, but without being able to score for now.

After the first half, no one scored, and you had to use some of your best moves to avoid taking a goal or two.

You just nod when Sarina congratulates you in the locker room. Leah is still not looking at you, as if you weren’t even here. It creates a strange feeling in your throat. You are happy that Lucy is just next to you, even if she’s not talking, your friend’s presence is good for you.

When the game starts again, you realise with anxiety that Milena and her other teammates change their side, meaning that Leah is the one marking Milena from now.

But Leah manages to take the upper hand on Milena every single time, using with ability her slide tackles. You are happy when Alessia finally manages to score around the seventy minutes.

Five minutes later, Sarina made all the different changes she was planning to, leaving Lucy and Leah in the defence but changing Millie and Maya in the same move. You don’t have a lot of time to get used to that though, because soon Italy won a corner, and you have to focus again on the game.

You can’t really explain what happened. Your eyes were on the ball when the Italian player shot it in the middle of the surface. But the knock you received on your head suddenly makes everything dizzy and you fall on the ground without really realising it.

There is a wheezing and everything else sounds like you were underwater. You feel hands on you, someone slapping your cheek, two fingers looking for your pulse in your neck.

You don’t know if it’s because it’s Leah or if it’s because she’s screaming right above your head, but you hear her distinctly shout

“Don’t fucking touch her! Let her breathe!”

And the panic in her voice finally makes you open your eyes. It’s the same feeling when you are sleepy, and Leah wakes you after you fall asleep in front of a movie to go to bed. Your eyes are heavy, the light is too bright too. You wince and close your eyes almost as soon as you open them, pressing your hand on your head.

“Y/N? Hey Baby, can you hear me?”

Leah’s voice is softer than you ever heard it, and you groan for only an answer. Your head is pounding.

“Can you roll on your back?”

You recognize the voice of one of the people from the medical team. You groan once more and roll on the ground, lying now on your back. You warily open your eyes, thankful that someone is hiding the lights of the pitch with their frame. You frown softly when you realise that it’s Milena

“I’m sorry Y/N, I wasn’t looking where I was going and…”

“It’s okay” Leah cuts her harshly. “She needs to get looked at; can you leave?”

You perfectly see the staff member smile at each other before turning their attention to you again.

They ask you several questions, make you sit, look at their fingers and look at a light too. It’s not an enjoyable experience to be honest, it hurts, and you have trouble staying focused.

“I think it’s a concussion” one of them finally says. “It would be better for you to get out of the pitch.”

“No” you frown. “Sarina made all the substitutions already. I can’t leave.”

“Of course you can” Leah interjects. “No one would blame you. It’s safer like th– “

“Leah. I’m playing.”

Her light blue eyes went right into your eyes. You don’t look away, Leah might be stubborn, but you are too when you really want something. And you want to play, you want to prove to her that she can count on you no matter what. You know you have hurt her and maybe bummed after your revelation earlier. You want to take amend of that.

When she opens her mouth to answer, you look at the medical staff.

“Am I allowed to play?”

They hesitate for several seconds, looking at you silently.

“If I let you play, you have to swear that if you don’t feel good, or dizzy, or tired, you will stop the game and get out of the pitch. Can we make this deal?”

You nod and he nods back, before helping you to get up. You take some water from the bottle he gave you, splashing some of it on your face too. You feel tired to be honest and the lights are killing you. But you are determined to end this game.

“Y/N.”

You turn in Leah’s direction and it’s easy to see the concern in her eyes. You smile softly at her while your teammates and the opposite team are coming back on the pitch.

“I’ll be fine, Leah”

She sighs and you feel her gaze on you when you go back to the goal. You don’t see her or hear her turning to the players around her, telling them not to let anyone come near your goal.

They manage to do it greatly to be honest, and you are glad for it. You have to make some intervention, like grabbing the ball in the air for example. Jumping was fine, but the shock when you fall on the ground is harsh.

When the whistle of the referee finally sounds, signalling the end of the game, you are more relieved than ever. Closing your eyes, you let your tired body sliding along one of the two posts on your goal.

“You’re alright mate?”

You don’t open your eyes but nod at Lucy’s question, feeling her hand on your shoulder without seeing it.

“Do you need help to get up?”

“Please” you mumble.

She makes you stand as easily as you were a 5-year-old child, making you smile softly. You thank Maya with gratefulness when she gives you your things waiting behind the goal and slowly make your way to the locker room.

You look around to see where Leah is, which isn’t missed by Beth who is walking on your other side.

“She’s answering some questions for the TV” the blonde informs you.

You groan and drink more water, still walking. Pretty slowly, you must admit. But you feel dizzy, and you sigh internally when you see Milena running in your direction.

“Hey” she says, with her Italian accent. “Look, I'm very sorry. How are you feeling?”

“I’ll be okay, don’t worry” you answer with a soft smile. “I’ll need some rest tonight and maybe tomorrow, but other than that it’s okay.”

You watch her bite her lips, like if she’s thinking about something to say. And how to say it. You really hope that she won’t ask you out now, because you don’t have the energy to deal with it right now.

“Can I write to you tomorrow? To know how you are feeling. I really feel very guilty”

You were going to answer something, but you were interrupted by an arm sneaking around your waist and a body suddenly pressed against yours.

“She will post an update on her Instagram tomorrow. And don’t worry for her, she’s between great hands” Leah says, before looking at you. “Are you okay to leave, Babe?”

You repress a smile and take a small breath.

“Yeah, let’s go. See you”

You give a smile to Milena, who you feel sorry for. You know that she never meant to hurt you, but Leah seems to take her for the only responsible of the accident.

“You know that I wasn’t looking either?” you mumble to Leah.

“It doesn’t matter. Sarina told me we can leave now; the staff asked for a taxi so we don’t have to wait on anyone. Would you like to shower in your hotel room rather than here?”

“Sounds good” you mumble again.

In a record time, Leah manages to take all your things and put them in your two bags, change herself in a training suit and help you to do the same. You are starting to feel tired and dozens in the cab on Leah’s shoulder.

“Baby you have to wake up. I can’t carry you in your room” Leah whispers when you are in front of the hotel, gently kissing your temple.

Usually, you love the fact that you are higher than Leah. You love how she easily fits in your arms, how you can hold her and feel like you are protecting her from everything and everyone.

But right now, you really would love for her to be able to carry you.

She does a bit though, holding you firmly against her while you are going to the lift and then to your room. You let yourself fall on the bed when you arrive inside your room, letting Leah deal with your bags and everything else.

“Come on Baby, we have to wash the game out of you. Then you can go in bed until the staff members come again”

“I just want to sleep” you groan.

“I know. But you will feel better.”

You do feel better, Leah is right. She helps you to take your shower, affectionately dry you with a towel after, help you to put fresh pajamas on and then even brush your teeth and your hair.

She then takes a quick shower too and it’s with wet hair and in one of your t-shirts that she opens the door of your room for the staff. The t-shirt easily covers her smaller frame, the tissue going until her knees.

They make some more tests on you, asking several questions to Leah too. You have trouble staying focused, but only because you are very tired. You don’t hear them leaving, opening your eyes again when you feel the bed move when Leah crawls on it.

“Are you sure you’re not in pain?”

You hum, snuggling against her warm body. They gave you some morphine earlier anyway. Leah lets you do it and you sigh happily when she starts to stroke your neck with her fingers.

“I’m sorry for the way I reacted because of your ex”

Leah’s whisper takes you by surprise. You probably almost never heard Leah saying that she was sorry for something so serious. Opening your eyes again, you search hers.

“I’m sorry for the way you learned it” you whisper back. “But it has nothing to do with you. It was before knowing you could be in any way interested in me. I was still in my “Forgetting Leah” era”

Leah chuckles and you smile hearing that sound. You close your eyes again, the tiredness being more and more hard to fight against.

“I’m glad you never managed to get over me” Leah says after some silence, playing with your hair.

“I will never be able to get over you”

You feel like your voice is low and your words aren’t very well articulated, but Leah seems to understand very easily what you are saying.

“I was hoping to” Leah mumbles too. “Now sleep, you little menace.”

You groan softly once again, making Leah smile. You happily let her kiss your face several times, finishing with your lips. You manage to whisper that you love her and it seems to you that Leah say it back, but you are not really sure. Because you are already asleep then.

[14dayswithyou]

Back at it again with another one-

Now, I sent a past mini theory that I believed Ren's dad did something to him after he ran away (Causing their mother to go into hysterics and etc Yada Yada yap yap) But I really haven't been able to figure it out despite knowing it must have something to do with the scars but once again its really hard to imagine unless he like...pushed [REDACTED] into a fire or they got in a fight and it resulted in a fire and [REDACTED] got the scars trying to escape the fire.

I haven't seen day 4 yet, only small pieces of beginning and end so bear with me for this part but could the black mist somehow be hmmm, Ren's guilt/trauma/something that haunts him? I thought about that one post where it was said [REDACTED] didn't sleep due to nightmares of his past.

Thats pretty much all I have for now as a theory/analysis-

Also is [REDACTED]'s name Draven, its the only thing I can thing of right now but it doesn't fit some categories.

⌞♥⌝ In love with your theories actually <3

Ren's scars will be discussed later in the game, so I won't say much about them here (out of potentially spoiling something). However, I will say that he only has scars along his hands and arms! It's why he started covering them up with tattoos and constantly chooses to wear long-sleeved clothes — even in summer.

As for the black smoke: its existence is a bit more literal than the concept of Ren's guilt/trauma haunting him. Again, I can't say much due to potentially spoiling things. Sorry!!

Ren's real name isn't Draven! Two of the letters in "Draven" are not part of it. It also sounds too close to Davrin, and it's giving me massive Veilguard withdrawals :( /silly

[ssentimentals]

hii nini!! could i request vernon + soft prompt 24?

love your writing smm hope ur doing well!! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

hi baby!! aw, thank you so much, hope you're doing well too! thank you for requesting! 💜 hopefully you will like it!

fluff prompt: 'you have a beautiful soul.'

you're not a stranger to the compliments. people comment on your physical appearance more often than not and while you obviously find it flattering and nice, you cannot help to find these words shallow and meaningless. when you put your effort into the work with your whole heart and then don't hear a word about your skills but instead get 'and you are so pretty!' is... discouraging. you wish someone mentioned something, anything else - about your work ethic, how hard working you are, how sincere you're in your approach to all of the animals in the shelter-

'your pretty face is really doing wonders to this shelter, by the way. i think a lot of people stop by just to look at you.' jaehyun, main owner, says. he's smiling like he just told the best joke ever.

you know that he means well, but your smile is still forced and you only nod at him, not offering anything else as he bids you and vernon goodbye. with your head down and full focus on a new puppy, you miss vernon's worried gaze and how he looks thoughtful, staring at the way you gingerly wash puppy's ears.

'he didn't mean to downplay your work here,' he eventually says, surprising you. vernon is not very talkative and mostly you two work in relative silence. 'jaehyun, i mean. he didn't mean it like you think.'

'no, i know.' you smile and it's forced again. you quickly glance up, meeting his gaze before instantly looking back down. 'i get it.'

vernon stares at you for some more moments before blurting out: 'i think you have a beautiful soul.' you face must show how shocked you are, because he blushes a little and shrugs like what he said haven't just pulled the ground from your feet. 'i- sorry. it's not like you were interested in my opinion.'

your heart is at your throat as you stare up at him, mouth agape. 'you- really?'

vernon looks up at you, slightly confused. 'yes? i mean yeah, yes.' and then after some hesitation he asks: 'you don't think so?'

you don't know what to think. you, in fact, are few seconds away from bursting into tears and that is embarrassing. 'thank you,' you manage to whimper before tears come falling. 'it means a lot.'

vernon's expression softens and he silently hands you pack of tissues, looking at you as if you're the most fragile thing that should be treated with all the delicacy. you sniff and he pretends to be engrossed at his work, carefully taking puppy from your lap. 'take your time,' he says gently, smiling at you and pointing towards the toilets. 'it's all okay.'

vernon is not judging you for this stupid outburst and nor does he find it embarrassing. if anything, he wants to reassure you even more, tell you how wonderful he thinks you are, but one step at a time, he guesses. one step at a time.

a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini

[palaceofpassion]

The Thoughts of Those Above

How strange, one would have thought that the prissy little heiress would have been the MOST apposed to a man attending to the needs and ailments of four young, proper women. But, to everyone's surprise, how rude of them, Weiss had adjusted surprisingly fast!

It helped, perhaps, that she was used to having men and women wait on her every word. She was after all, rich, so having another butler around meant little to her... though to her surprise, he was quite apt at what he did. She couldn't help but notice how quickly he moved around, doing chores one moment, and fixing up something the next.

It had been... a strange experience, she was SURE he would flirt with her, just like every young man their equivalent age did. However, perhaps due to their different statuses, he seemed mostly ambivalent to her. Of course, she caught him staring every now and then, though it was small polite glances. And it was only when she was looking his way already.

These moments often lead to an awkward grin as he gave her a curt nod or a wave, and carried on. She would roll her eyes of course, at least, that's how it started...

But to her surprise she found herself warming up, rather quickly, to him.

In fact, two weeks in, and she'd found herself enjoying his company. Not in any way romantic of course, he was far too nerdy for her... though, having him NOT flirt with her every chance he got was... endearing.

Perhaps she had low standards?

"Jaune."

"Hmm?" The young man turned his attention to the snow white heiress.

"I didn't ask for tea..." She turned her attention to him, noting the cup and kettle in his hands.

"Oh uh, right, right." He blushed a little, that pure red dust brushing across his cheeks. "I uh, noticed you seemed to be a little frustrated, with your studying and all that." He gestured towards her book, a Guide to Solo Combat. He assumed it had to do with combat classes or something.

"Ah... yes well, I've been..." She'd been falling behind, though she would not admit it aloud. She fumbled with her thoughts, trying to express herself. Her brows furrowed and eyes closed shut. Truth be told, "I have not been doing well in combat class... well, as well as I should." She was in the top four of course... but she was forth. And that was the problem.

She understood Pyrrha, but her teammates, to her surprise. Were very skilled, in fact, she was sure May HADN'T missed a shot since they joined. Ironically unlike that Rose girl from one of the other teams. She was fantastic with her scythe... but her aim was clearly off.

And then there was their leader, Jessica. She was a sniveling mess most of the time, and she wondered why Ozpin made her leader... but when it came to combat, when it came to being able to avoid social situations. She was able to put her head in the game, and her semblance was... strong. Very strong, apparently it cooperated well with the smallest bits of hard light dust, creating whatever she could imagine on the fly.

Truly, as Xiao Long from another team would call it, Broken.

It was vexing, frustrating, even in team battles, it felt like she did nothing to assist. All she could muster were her glyphs... and though Jessica was fantastic at calling shots... and pre planned tactics... she didn't use Weiss as well as she was needed.

"Mmm." She turned her attention to him, tea slowly pouring into the cup, a warm sizzle reaching her ears as he placed it before her.

Once again, she found it strange, he knew what she liked. Perhaps after being told over and over again, he would learn.

"I dunno, I've seen the recordings, and well I'm not a fighter." He chuckled a little, not that he'd know the first thing about combat. "But, you're always fantastic."

Her eyes widened, but then furled downwards, with one staying up as she looked at him with suspicion.

"Like, in team combat, sure Jessica is guiding everyone. But haven't you noticed? She doesn't really give you commands. And that's cause you've got your eyes on the entire battle field. Sure there was that time with the boar grimm thing at the start, when you were like frustrated you weren't the leader and-"

"Jaune..."

"Ah, right, right sorry! I mean like... you're really good at battlefield control."

She blinked a few times, a little confused. "I mean, you don't HAVE to be in the frontlines all the time. Heck, Pyrrha generally has that covered, and Jessica is like, somewhere in between with May WAY in the back! But come on, you've saved May SEVERAL times with your glyphs! I've seen you stop Ren a few times, and he's sneaky!"

She nodded, yes, the team that had TWO Ninja's was a pain to deal with. Especially when they would often target May or herself. She'd learned to be alert, when dealing with them. Setting up traps, a new thing she'd come to appreciate with the sense of defense and... "Huh."

"Also that time when you used a timey thingy on Jessica. And she sent all those green blades flying! There were so many, and she wouldn't have been able to make them without you!"

She nodded a long... she supposed he was right.

"Besides, you're no slouch in combat, you can hold your own with the best of them. But I think, that you work best as a team player. You know, you don't have to do everything alone."

She... supposed she didn't. That was something she hadn't really considered.

Initially she'd planned to use her brains and Pyrrha's brawn but... they were a team of four. "Hmm..." She gave it some thought, and put the book away. "Thank you Jaune." A smile graced her lips as she reached for the cup and took a sip, "Mmm~ Its perfect, just the way I like it."

She smiled, feeling warm and fuzzy inside, yes, Jaune wasn't so bad after all.

[risingsoleil]

Linzin trying for a baby and it’s taking longer to conceive than they thought it would. Tenzin soothing an anxious Lin ?

I've been really liking this idea of Lin actually being super confident that she's gonna give Tenzin airbenders.

The reason I say that is because Lin strikes me as the type of person who will do something out of spite and to prove people wrong.

"She'll never give Master Tenzin airbenders. She's a Beifong and a powerful earthbender. She'll give him 10 of them before she has 1 airbender."

Lin is like "Fuck all of you, I'm going to have 10 airbenders and 1 earthbender."

She's not gonna pop out 10+ kids just to repopulate a nation and not raise them properly. But pairing this with, "Oh you don't think I"ll be a good mom? Watch me" mentality would be sooo interesting to see more of.

So back to the ask, young Linzin gets married and Lin has incorporated motherhood into her life plan. She's hoping to have 1-2 kids within 8-10 years, and open to 3+ depending on what's happening.

She's 26 and after a year of marriage, no baby.

"It'll be fine, Lin. We'll have a baby."

"But why haven't I gotten knocked up yet? it's not like I'm 50! Maybe something is wrong with me...."

"Nothing is wrong with you, Lin."

She eyes him. "...is something wrong with you then?"

"Well, i can get checked out too. But you're stressing too much about having a baby. That's why it's not happening. We have to not try in order to get our child."

"Ugh, that's ridiculous."

"You know I'm right. So many couples conceive when they're not trying at all. Which means, we just need to enjoy loving each other and then when the time comes, our little baby will be here in no time."

"So we just enjoy fucking like rabbits without a care in the world?"

"Yes. You just need to relax and enjoy it, love."

Lin sighs.

Tenzin holds her hand. "We'll definitely have a baby, Lin. Right now it might be hard, but I'm sure our future babies are going to come into our lives so easily and quickly."

"Probably. Knowing our luck," Lin chuckles.

"Maybe it'll be twins."

Lin makes a face. "Eh, I don't know about twins, Tenzin...that might be a lot."

He kisses her cheek. "But then it'd be double the love forever."

Over time, Lin does let go of her control on conceiving a baby.

After a wildly drunken night, Lin and Tenzin have the hottest sex ever on a boat. And they're so focused on each other. Not the world, expectations, responsibilities....just Lin and Tenzin.

Not long after, Lin finds out she's pregnant.

With triplets.

Lin rolls her neck and shoulders. "I'm going to kill you, Airhead."

Hint: all 3 babies are airbenders :3

[eowynstwin]

I've come to the last thing I'd like to talk about, and unlike the rest it's something I've already made progress working through. I want to try keep this subject brief, because 1) it's taken a LOT out of me to get through all this and 2) even so, it's helped, and I'm ready to move on. I just don't want to leave anything important to me unaddressed.

So, I mentioned that when I returned to this blog, it felt like everyone had moved on from the Myka issue. I didn't see the same kind of support when I came back as I did when I left—and maybe it seems presumptive of me, but I had been expecting it. There was precedent, after all.

And I'll be honest—it took pretty much all the wind out of my sails. It kind of felt like it didn't matter if I was here or not—like, outside of the Myka issue, I hadn't actually made enough of an impression on anyone, with my own work or my support for others', for them to really care if I came back. Which, considering how many people were there for me when I left, I believed I had. That belief felt pretty misplaced after that. And to put it mildly, that did not feel good.

At the same time—and I've already talked about this in the past, so I don't want to retread old ground too much—I noticed a drop in engagement with the new work I posted. I understand now that that involved a lot of factors—my long absence, the change in my url, general fandom trends—but because it happened around the same time as my return, it compounded that feeling of my irrelevance.

So as I’ve been writing this whole time, and posting, I’ve lived with this undercurrent of god I hope this is good enough for them to care about me again. I felt like I had never actually been good enough for anyone to think of me outside of the Myka incident. I couldn't enjoy my own work without thinking none of this was ever good enough. I got to the point where I couldn't enjoy other people's work without thinking everyone likes them, but they don't like me.

Now, obviously this is unhealthy. It's also patently untrue, as demonstrated by the support I and my work have been given in the months following my return.

A part of me kind of cringes to discuss this at all, because it feels unfair to the people who've offered that support—I don't want anyone to feel like I haven't appreciated it, because I have. But I lay all this out to lead to the conclusion I've come to, which I want to share, because it feels like the gateway into finally leaving Myka, and all of these things I've been feeling, behind for good.

I've talked to friends since then, gotten context, and I've evaluated my tenure as a whole in this community in effort to understand.

The thing at the core of this issue is that my confidence was shaken. Both by the incident itself, and everything that followed it.

While it was happening, I was under a microscope, and found inadequate. I couldn't talk about it, because that would only make things worse for me. When I came back, I felt like I was still under the microscope, and I still couldn't talk about it—and in addition, it seemed like I had earn my place here again.

Feeling like that has made it really, really hard to enjoy being here. But I know that feeling isn't entirely rational. And if I don't want to feel that way anymore, I have to let myself say the things I need to say and make the things I want to make, and I have to let myself enjoy doing it.

I want to be here. Despite everything, I still belong here, even if I don't feel like I do. I've been so afraid to talk about Myka all this time, really, because I didn't think any of you wanted to hear about it. I thought it would drive you away.

But I've talked about it now. And you've all listened. So that means I'm allowed feel confident about everything else.

Thank you.

[baggidude]

Spoiler for Venom 3: Divorce so move along if you haven't seen it NOW.

So I've seen a lot of fix it posts but I haven't seen too many people talk about how hard it would be for eddie to adjust to normal life after Venom "dies".

Like imagine how it would be to go back to a alien free life after being connected to it for a full year (specially if you grew close to the alien), it must feel super quiet, too quiet. Yeah at first it would suck that his thoughts are no longer private but as his relationship with venom became more it would have most likely turned comforting.

Also think about how venom was the only really close "person" eddie had, yeah Anne and Ms.chen care for him but they are nothing compared to what he had with venom.

Worst of all is how it would feel to lose your other half within a week, a single week, going from living somewhat happily in your apartment with him to nada, nothing would make everything feel empty.

I feel that after all that Eddie would end up cutting himself off from getting close to people, he would put up walls and have a fake smile plastered over his face at all times of the day just so that no one tries to care for him.

And you could say "But the cockaroach", and yes if Venom is still alive he most likely will search for eddie. HOWERVER, that would most likely take months if not years to even just get to new York.

So in conclusion I need to read some "Eddie tries to live a normal life without venom" fics that venom dosent appear in. It can be about him finding help and moving on, it can end with him dying (Maybe even both) im fine with anything all I know is that I need to see this wet cat SUFFER.

[merakiui]

MERA... MERA.. I JUST read the "can't leave until you have sex" Halloween trio thoughts.... and... oh wow. oh Fellow

"lie back and let his flattery work wonders on you / please don’t be difficult and please be impressed and please genuinely cum and please tell him it felt good / don’t ask to kiss / don’t say a word when he’s sloppy and salivating all over you" OUGHHHH I'M ON MY KNEES MERA THIS IS SO... OUGH....

He's so pathetic mister Honest I need you carnally right now. Badly. He's so frustratingly pathetically sexy.... I'm shaking I keep rereading that paragraph because he's so !!!

(the way you portray him Mera you big brained amazing spectacular writer. Thank you. I hope we get more of your thoughts about him...!)

>:) hehehe thank you for enjoying my portrayal in that post!!! I love Fellow a lot, so there will definitely be plenty more thoughts about him in the future. He plays a significant role as supporting cast in Halloweenie and it's my shameless excuse to practice writing him, so there is lots of Fellow to be had in that story. He's the perfect amount of smarmy wet cat that you can love and want to shake in equal measure. <3 100% "frustratingly pathetically sexy" as you wrote!

When his special move is quite literally running away when he can no longer tolerate or go against the trouble, it sealed my affections for him. He's so loserboy.... all of the Halloween trio are in their own silly ways. orz he's so shameless when he's pushing praise after praise,,, it's a little funny that he and Rollo are so outwardly fake like that. Fellow "platitudes make me wanna puke" Honest and Rollo "he treats me in such a friendly way with nary an inkling to the thoughts in my mind" Flamme,,, versus Skully who means every sweet thing he says LOL.

But in my mind he won't outright admit to his lack of experience. He'll just dress it up a bit,,, something something he learns as he goes, he's a natural, you'll see! But then he fucks like a guy who's just bought his first onahole and can't wait to use it. >_< there's a certain charm in Fellow who is more worked up than you are, who is panting like he's in heat, and pathetically rutting into you with a half-hard dick after he's cum too many times for him to seem like the sex god he hoped to show you. T_T still fucking you even though he can't cum anymore and maybe you haven't even cum yet....... the most pathetic, but he'll make an effort for you. I like to think he tries his very best to impress you with these things,,,, trying to make up for his inexperience with his silver tongue, but also he's really bad at using that tongue if it isn't to compliment you or dirty talk you. ;;;;

I have way too many thoughts about him... someone sedate me....... orz

[inuxi]

that ask was rude of me, i should've just blocked you instead of telling you about it, i'm sorry. i'm aroace and sex+romance repulsed, and i guess i thought alastor was gonna be something i could enjoy for once like everyone else gets to without feeling like i'm intruding on a conversation i have no right to be part of. i'm on ios so i can't use browser extensions to actually get rid of all the alastor ship posts like i want, and i'm not sure my problem even has a solution short of just giving up trying, because so far i have found exactly zero blogs that are 1.) still active at all, 2.) still post about Hazbin, 3.) aren't actually 12 years old, and 4.) don't post about fucking Alastor ships. i got so excited seeing such good, recent art i haven't nuked yet considering how old every other post i can still see is, and i'm not kidding when i say i sent that ask through tears. it was rude and unacceptable either way, and i'm sorry.

i've blocked over 200 different people and i'm not exaggerating that number even a little bit. i would rather put a gun to my head and pull the trigger myself than see them so much as breathe next to each other ever again. i am so. so so so so so sick of searching and searching and searching and finding nothing.

the thing i've learned from alastor's aroace representation is that not only is the world as a whole not made to accommodate me, fandom space isn't either. i am an alien on a planet i was never made to fit into, and i don't even get to escape that through fiction like everyone else does. no amount of filtering and blocking and searching will bring into existence a community for me that simply does not exist, and it is futile for me to try. that's what this fandom has taught me.

i think the chances of me sticking around in this fandom are slim, so at least it won't be an issue for anyone else anymore. i think being excluded from conversations about an aroace character sting a lot more than just not being represented at all to be honest.

Okay, listen.

First of all, Alastor is officially an Ace, NOT an aroace. That means he can still be interested in any romantic things or finding a couple. No one is stopping you from seeing him exclusively as an aroace. But shaming people who don't share your point of view is a bad idea.

Secondly, I am an aroace artist myself. Romantic and sexual themes are virtually non-existent in my art. I can joke about it, but almost all of my drawings explore completely different things. And you come to me and try to talk about how hard it is to feel socially comfortable being an aroace? I understand your worries, but, again, trying to shame other people because they don't share your point of view is NOT a healthy coping mechanism.

Third, I have done THREE drawings in all my time that include a romanticized Alastor. Two of them were collabs, and the third was asked to be drawn by people. And these three drawings made you give up on my art, which you said you really liked?

The community is too heavily oriented towards romantic and sexual themes, it's true. People like us are often uncomfortable in that environment, that's also true. But aroace people can't just come in and ban others from having fun just because we don't find that fun or interesting.

Man, I'm not even Alastor's artist! What the kind of Alastor shipper am I? And you picked me out of a thousand people to block? Oh my God, that's as funny as it is sad.

In case you haven't looked at my art, I am a Lucifer artist. I very rarely draw Alastor, simply because I don't find him interesting enough. And because of that, I find it so funny to be labeled an “Alastor shipper”

[lestcat-de-lioncourt]

how do you think they are going to go about the story telling for tvl

i know it won’t be a wwdits style but it is a funny thought

I am curious myself. It's brought surprise and wonder, and parts which capture it well already, but also what I wouldn't have thought.

I think at least season 3 will be dramatic, or Lestat will be tired of some things Louis has to say, as Louis has lied, embellished, or totally misremembered aspects of their time together, but similarly, this will happen even if different parties who exit a relationship believe that they're telling the truth, so it'll be good to see where they take Lestats perspective.

I think there will be some inclusion of Nicolas de Lenfent, how Lestat ended up in Paris, and there's teasers, musical tracks, and talk already of his music career. The inspiration for his music is partly a surprise, not what I'd expect, but it also makes sense. They may have changed this/will change it with filming, though.

Magnus. I'd say they'd include him. He is a difficult character for me, but I hope they tell the injustice that was faced, rather than how he was painted too nice in the QOTD movie, not to mention replacing him with Marius (or pretending he didn't exist at all amd it didn't happen to Lestat) however much I loved the movie.

This one I expect we will finally see more about the reality of Lestat, rather than through Louis' adoring and hatefully complex perspective.

In the past, we've not had much book to media, about that, not deeply, and not a way a movie can really intricately capture some complex stories, which is why I support the development of book series being made into a TV series opposed to one movie at a time. There's too much to these, and even if the series is an adaption, I believe it's capturing the essence well in a variety of ways.

Lestat is complex, he's problematic, he's experienced trauma, and living as a queer man in a place that was old fashioned, and as time draws on that will be not as hard, being out won't be, with The Vampire Lestat I don't know if they will delve into that but I feel we will certainly see some of it, the creation of him, his side which could be lies, or could be the truth, or simply, his perspective.

From the teaser, he already looks tired and fed up, having to sift through what Louis has to say.

There's a lot they can do, to say the least. I'm not disappointed so far, I know there are many who are, but that's just me. I don't mind that it's not wholly accurate to the book, and they haven't stated any falsified information that it would be exactly the same either.

I'm thinking Armand will be in it, flickering around the timelines.

I'm hoping to see a role given to Lestats mother, Gabrielle. It would be nice to see her finally shedding the feminine clothes and roles she never liked it the first place, and seeing her free within vampirism. It works for some! Haha. I don't know if they will, though.

Either way, I can't wait. I expect surprises.

[dullgecko]

Was rereading the Study Goblin AU stuff; mainly the origins stuff and thought about what if Riz survived that final mission and could return to his friends? I would think they would be worried the moment their memories get restored and realize they haven't seen Riz in three months - only to get upset once Riz shows back up (probably still battered from the battle)

Riz records his goodbye message and sends his crystal back to Solace. His friends will receive it once it has a signal and will probably be VERY confused until Penny restores their memories... then probably pissed off but he couldn't stand the thought of disappearing with no one knowing what happened.

The only option left is a suicide play. Literally throwing himself between the cogs of the arcane machine set to devour his home dimension in order to reach the core and destroy it.

Hes all ready to go, having sneaked around behind the wizard they were fighting and sending off a quick prayer to Cassandra (look he wasn't a cleric but he felt it was appropriate, he was for sure about to die after all), but the machine ground to a halt on its own. A bit of divine intervention perhaps? Or maybe I'm his haste to get the machine operational and gain 'infinite power' their foe had not quite put it together properly. Either way it was a VERY good thing.

Riz fired his arcubus to break some critical looking components anyway just in case, he didnt want them starting it back up again too easily after all since it was basically impossible to stop it from the outside, before turning his sights on their enemy themselves. A few more seconds all they needed for both himself and his party's fighter to put the bastard down for good.

It was a mad scramble to get their cleric back up so they could revive the rest of their fallen party members. Every one of them looking worse for ware as they set some timed charges to destroy this pocket dimension before plane shifting back to Solace.

They ended up back in the temple ruins they first left Solace from, meaning they had a few days of hard travel before they were back in civilisation.

He knew there was going to be pretty bad fallout when they actually ended up surviving. Penny would have restored everyone's memories as quickly as possible after she got his message so he wasn't surprised to find his party in his office when got back. Every single one of them with puffy red eyes that widened in surprise when he pushed open the door.

He knew he looked like shit. It had been a hard three months. His clothes were ripped and burned in places, he had a notch in one ear from an earring getting ripped out in a fight and he was exhausted.

Penny was the first one to get to him, squishing him in a hug while asking what the fuck happened to make him even THINK of sending a message like that. He doesn't get far through his explanation before he's getting mobbed by his friends, all of them equally relieved hes okay and PISSED at him for wiping their memories.

Hes sorry. REALLY sorry. He just had to work through some stuff after his mom died and the society of shadows needed his expertise for what turned out to be some universe ending bullshit.

[uhhhitsme]

24, 29 and 32 Curt?

-24- best memory

i think he would tell himself its the berlin mission in 1956. i haven't nailed down any of the details for what went on DURING the mission exactly, but it would entail owen doing something crazy stupid for curt, and the two of them emerging victorious and covered in blood and more in love than ever. it solidified to him the idea that together, they're unstoppable, and eased some of curt's anxiety about whether or not the ocean of feelings curt has for owen is matched.

but really, it was something from earlier in their relationship---june of 1954. owen had gotten himself decently hurt on a mission---not serious enough that curt was afraid for him, but serious enough that it couldn't be ignored. curt insisted on patching owen up, and unlike every other time curt has had to take care of him, owen let him do it without a fight. and there was this moment where curt looked up from his work, halfway through a passionate speech about why it was essential that he keep a bottle of whiskey and a bag of chips in his medkit, and caught owen looking at him with eyes full of light. and for a moment, he was overwhelmed with the knowledge that owen had trusted him with this. trusted curt to take care of him. let curt see him at his most vulnerable.

after, when they went to bed. owen kissed him in the gentle, comforting way that he typically reserved for when curt was hurt, or when thought curt was too out of it to notice. curt read him to sleep, and then stayed up for hours---heart bursting with an emotion so indescribable, so impossible it made his head spin. the kind of feeling you get falling.

-29- quirks and personal habits

curt paces a LOT. not just when he's stressed---literally whenever he feels too much about anything, happy or frustrated or thinking about owen. when he can't pace, he bounces his leg or clasps his hands together so tight you can see the tension running through his arms.

during the winter, he gets dry lips, and he never can stop himself from picking them. he refuses to use lip balm (partially because of toxic masculinity and partially because he hates how it feels).

he has really poor volume control and often doesn't realise when he's being too loud (which made stealth training hell for him when he first started out.) he also gets really really loud when he's excited/afraid.

he sings to himself to get earworms out of his head. depending on the song, it either drives owen bananas or is ridiculously endearing

he listens to a lot of radio, even if he doesn't particularly enjoy it.

he hates quiet, and avoids his apartment like the plague

he hasnt changed the hair product he uses since he was recommended it by a girlfriend in high school

-32- toxic traits

massive inferiority complex that results in him doing very inadvisable things for the sake of trying to prove his own worth

very easily jealous---falls under the whole inferiority complex thing a little, but he can get really bitter when he sees others praised, especially in areas he takes pride in (like spying)

he's constantly trying to present this sort of hypermasculine effortless suave persona, and as a result, can be a dismissive asshole when he thinks he's letting too much of his emotion show

on that note, he doesn't handle vulnerability well. like At All. which, tbf, neither does owen

oftentimes abrasive and just a little bit self-centered, sometimes gets way too caught up in his own shit to pay attention to others needs (although he tries really, really hard with owen)

i feel like theres a word for this, but that thing where you do things without fully conceptualizing the potential consequences of an action until they're staring you in the face. its gotten him into way too much trouble

has a very black and white worldview and........doesn't fully see a lot of his enemies as human, or feel empathy for them. he's very stubborn about what's right and wrong

HE'S LITERALLY A SPY FOR THE US GOVERNMENT WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO SAY

mind you these are the biggest things off the top of my head. there's probably more. love this terrible freak <3

[asarigg]

I just wanna talk about how Aoba would navigate having DID...and how he would do it in regards to like Koujaku..and you're a like-minded individual 💪😼. Anyways anyways, in all seriousness I do headcanon Aoba has having DID. I'm pretty sure Sly is an alter (and that's another reason why he does go by Sly), and Shiroba could be an alter but I haven't thought about it all too much. I think in a domestic situation Aoba would have to learn to get along with Sly and not like surprise him or whatever because that would definitely make it worse. And while I think Sly got them into a lot of trouble during their teen years, I also see him as sort of the protector of them and of Aoba. I think that Aoba experienced a lot of trauma during his childhood and created Sly, but Aoba was not aware of Sly as an Alter until much much later in his life when he finds out he has scrap. I don't really have a theory yet for why Sly fronted for most of Aoba's teen years but I'm working on it. But I know that whenever Aoba got into his "accident" it kinda threatened Sly a little bit so he backed off of Aoba and just kinda let him be.

As for why I think he also acts a protector depending on the way you look at Sly, is for parts in the game where he fronts. Specifically during Mink's route, when Sly shows up I believe it was a way of protecting Aoba from experienceing further trauma. Sly did not want him to get anything negative from that situation. I do wish we got to see more of Sly in a less-violent light because I genuinely do believe he serves an important role in Aoba's life.

I think once Aoba becomes aware of Sly, he realizes that they need to learn to navigate life together because Sly isn't going anywhere. So this is where his life with Koujaku comes in...hear me out hear me out. I think that like sometimes while the two of them were going about life Sly just starts fronting sometimes and I think he likes to playfully tease Koujaku and just like messes around with him; not in a bad way but in an endearing way. I thinkSly gets jealous of Aoba sometimes, especially when he sees him getting positive attention from Koujaku. And on the other hand, I think Koujaku would originally have a hard time kinda getting along with Sly but after a while he becomes okay with him and realizes that if he truly loves Aoba he's gonna have to accept that Sly is always going to be a part of him.

This part is just kinda fluff but I think after Sly gets to know Koujaku, he's super lovey-dovey with him while he's fronting. So like he'll like to cuddle Koujaku and give him hugs and even pecks on the cheek; he also play's with Koujaku's hair a lot. I think Sly finds Koujaku's tattoos to be very interesting and likes to admire them a lot. I think that's all I have at the moment. Thanks for coming to Yap session.

I pretty much agree with almost everything you said haha

I don't know much much about DID but I've always seen Sly as the protector because like you said he always appears when Aoba's in trouble. Not only being physically attacked but also when he's mentally exhausted as we see in his adolescence and in Koujaku's bad ending. Aoba had experienced loneliness and abandonment twice already at the church, then his parents leaving him, so watching Koujaku go probably provoked him a substantial amount of anxiety and restlessness knowing what it meant and was scared of going back to those feelings. Mixed with actually being lonely, it was basically the cherry on top, making his mind step back to "rest" and Sly taking control because someone had to. Kinda funny that low key Koujaku provoked both of them? lol

I feel like the image people usually have of him, specially if they don't play the true route, makes them think that he comes out when there's violence because he likes it. Which, like, he does, but he doesn't take control because of that, he's just protecting Aoba. Makes me wonder why wouldn't he do the same when Aoba gets kidnapped by Vitrip, other than for the sake of kink I can only think that it would be giving them what they want I guess. It's not like they aren't satisfied anyway so it's ass regardless.

It's really nice to think about Aoba realizing that and coming at peace with Sly. I guess he has two protectors, Sly protects him from outsiders, and Ren protects him from himself. And ABSOLUTELY, I wish we had more of Sly ugh 😭😭

I'm always thinking about all the possibilities on how would Sly behave and interact with Aoba and Koujaku in the good ending and I'm always changing stuff, but as you mentioned him messing with Koujaku and being jealous gets in the mix almost every time. I feel like he'd have a lot of trouble confronting his feelings towards Koujaku and not being able to accept them, specially considering that when he gets to control their body it's mostly in a violent environment, so when he meets Koujaku's tenderness it creates conflict. I've always seen the "them not getting along" in the beginning coming mostly from this, so I think it would be more of a Sly causing trouble thing, although I have to confess sometimes I have trouble with this. As a Slyjaku soldier when I read Slyjaku fics in the trenches many times this conflict was written as some really aggressive interaction based on how much Koujaku would hate him for not being sweet and istg *turns around and cries*. The game's writing didn't do the greatest job and it's so widespread that Koujaku gets angry easily when in reality it was mostly for Aoba's well being.

Considering the advances he does with his trauma throughout their relationship and what he says about "loving Sly" when Aoba "mentions" him he'd have a much better reaction to him. I feel like after the initial shock of knowing that the "arrogant and violent" personality Aoba was talking about was actually a real thing he'd try to get to know him, but he doesn't really know what to act like in front of him because he gets mixed reactions from Sly. He'd give him space to express himself and have time to open up, because it seems like Sly rejects his friendlier advances. He ultimately understands him as a different person so maybe Sly doesn't really want to be with him.

Sly on the other hand was kind of already there (?) when they met so he does have memories of him. I wonder if he'd blame him somehow for leaving. If, like Aoba, he had feelings for him deep down for longer than he'd like to admit. So living a tender, comfortable life makes him feel weird, not having to fight someone for once is weird, he isn't used to it, so he rejects it. Something in him wants it, another doesn't, so his reaction towards it is a mix of both as well. He wants Koujaku's love, he needs it, but he feels like it's fake, that he doesn't deserve it, it isn't for him. Even tho it's his distorted vision, maybe Koujaku's forcing it, but doesn't really feel it, because when he sees the way he acts with Aoba it's completely different. To him Koujaku's always been there, but he just met Sly so of course he's more distant. Anyway I think I'm talking too much and I'm losing track of what I'm writing to be honest.

I have a small hc about Sly and Koujaku's tattoos. Aoba kisses his tattoos and scars to try heal his wounds and his memories because he doesn't want Koujaku to suffer. I like to think that when Sly looks at them instead of feeling sorry for him like Aoba does, the thought that runs around his head is mostly just annoyance about the idea that Koujaku might think about someone else that is not him. So Aoba kisses them to make Koujaku think of his caresses instead of the pain, and Sly would do some Sly thing like disgustingly licking them or biting them so when he sees his tattoos he thinks of him instead of literally anything else because the only thing that should be filling his thoughts is Sly ☝ or something like that

[timxpy]

SOUL WITH VIOLENT OBSESSION LOOKS SO RIGHT NGL. Like, I think he could have both obsessions about harming others and himself. And in the end rituals are no longer helping, and he just... Doesn't know what to do. Alone with this violent thoughts that make you feel like a monster. We need to talk more about this kind of obsessions, ngl they're the worst type of obsessions you might have as a person with ocd. AND OBSESSIONS ABOUT HARMONIA, YEAAAH... I think that perfectly connects with his npd ideals (they're totally relate to Harmony in some ways yeah). AND AGAIN, HIS IDEALS ARE JUST ALWAYS IGNORED. THIS IS SO PERFECT DESCRIBES WHY HE COULD HAVE THESE OBSESSIONS. I think he also would spend a lot of time just for one ritual. Like, twenty minutes for each compulsion.

YOU'RE SO ABSOLUTELY RIGHT UGHHH. I think this conflict between two disorders is the most important and interesting part in ocd + npd Mind headcanon. He's supposed to be rational and obsessions don't look rational!!! LIKE AT ALL!!! AND THIS WILL BE SO FRUSTRATING FOR HIM I SWEAR. Actually haven't got much to say about ocd Mind more, you said like EVERYTHING SO RIGHT. I JUST LOVE TO READ AND READ YOUR POST AGAIN AND AGAIN DISKWKSKDKKD. Just want to add that I had this kind of obsessions like you described anddd I can say that sometimes u feel REALLY stupid when do rituals. Like, always count just to make sure u make basic thing right are annoying and it looks strange for people around you, it's sometimes really hard to explain why you do things this way...

And guess what... YOU'RE ALSO RIGHT ABOUT HEART'S OCD!!! I believe that his obsessions are strongly connected to thinking about his actions. He always think how he looked when he said this or that, or did anybody see how he just uhhh walked??? This really worries him. Always thinking about how u look when u do this or that or did anybody see something that you didn't see in yourself... This will be really exhausting!!! Yaaay they all are suffering again!!!

Yk I really like to see good npd + bpd combo in characters. Like, I like to see good cluster b representation in general BUT SEEING THIS COMBO MAKES ME SOSOSO HAPPY (also I had the same feeling but with npd + aspd combos several times. I'm just really glad to see people don't think about characters like monsters just because they have symptoms of this two disorders). AND NOW THIS COMBO IS WITH OCD TOO AND I JUST LIKE AJAJAJANSNND THIS IS SO GOOD. But Soul is suffering sm ngl. I just can't imagine how hard it'll be to have both lack of self identity and inflated identity (which you need to support with anything that makes you feel like you're actually that kind of person as you think you are) at the same time.

Alsooo, what do you think about pds from other clusters??? Can any of them fit any cccc character in ur opinion???

[Sorry that I didn't answer for long time, I was really tired last two-three days mehhh]

bpd soul propaganda

his relationships with heart and mind are extremely tumultuous. he alternates between encouraging support and harsh criticism. he wants them to be close and loves them, but he's easily frustrated by their conflict and despises them for it.

he seeks a stability that seems impossible for him to achieve. when he doesn't feel like he can be stable, he threatens suicide because it feels like his only option. suicidal and self-destructive behavior is really common in bpd, especially in response to interpersonal distress and instability.

he has very little sense of self. identity isn't something he feels like he has the right to have (since personal separation is contradictory to trying to be Whole), but also, it seems like something he just can't get a grip on even if he tried.

I think that he has extreme attachment issues in concord. he's terrified that things will go wrong again, worried one of them will get hurt or disappear whenever he's not keeping an eye on them. he wants to know exactly where they are and be told when they're leaving because otherwise he'll panic about their absence.

on that note, his fears of hurting them or ruining things when things seem stable are something a lot of people with bpd struggle with. there's this underlying fear that the things "inherently wrong with you" will ruin everything you touch, either because of personal experience or internalized demonization.

if you headcanon Whole as a distinct person, that would be his favorite person. the extreme, almost religious idealization and having your entire sense of self revolving around a person (or really, the perception of perfection you have of a person) is a clear sign of having a favorite person. the abandonment issues would also be the worst with Whole, for obvious reasons

also i think it would be neat if this was a more widespread concept

[egophiliac]

LEON

LEON YOUR EYEBALLS