#saf headcanons

[smytherines]

I think about Curt's thought process on the staircase all the time. Did he think that Owen fell, was fine, got up and walked away and decided to be evil? In One Step Ahead Curt says things like "what happened to the man I knew?" And "you've lost your mind." This version of Owen is so different to the person he knew that Curt can't bring himself to say Owen's name after the reveal. Not even once. But what does he think happened to Owen?

Technically the Joey Richter tweet about Owen being captured by the Russians and then bailed out and nursed back to health by Chimera to "groom him for future work" is not canon, as it isn't established in the show. But he is one of the three writers, one of the Tin Can Bros, so if anyone knows what happened to Owen after the fall, it would be him. It's sort of a close enough to canon situation.

And realistically... I mean I'm not going to get into the details, but prisoners in the USSR were not treated kindly. We're talking about abuses so horrifying that a lot of prisoners simply did not survive them. So we have Owen, severely injured in the fall, having had a building explode on him, being held captive by a country he just dealt a significant blow to by destroying their weapons facility. The absolute best case scenario is that they don't treat his serious injuries. The worst case scenario is... much, much worse. The kind of thing that can absolutely break someone.

And then Chimera comes along and offers him a way out. Offers to fix his broken body and give him back his freedom (or some semblance of it at least). But their assistance doesn't come for free. He has a debt to pay. And given his injuries he probably can't do the sort of physically demanding work he did as a spy. But he can torture people. He can kill people. He is very good at killing people.

He can't be Owen Carvour anymore, that man died when he fell, when his body broke, when the man he loved left him for dead. Chimera is there during his long healing process, whispering in his ear- this is what your partner did to you. This is what the country you served did to you. This is what being a spy did to you, and wouldn't it be nice to obliterate the whole fucking institution? Wouldn't it be nice to live in a world without agencies, without spies, without secrets?

I imagine that on the staircase, Curt is thinking about how the man he loved, the man he grieved for four years, tortured him. That Owen hated him. That Owen wanted to kill him. That Owen is a monster now, and the kindest thing to do is to put him down. And it isn't until Owen's lifeless body is in front of him that he sees the burns, the surgical scars, the physical devastation of the fall, and starts to understand what happened to the man he knew. That's when he becomes fixated on taking down Chimera. He can't undo what he did, not in 1957 and not in 1961. But he thinks that by taking down Chimera he can make it matter. He can make it right. He has to keep going until he makes it right.

And the more he learns about Chimera, the more he learns about Owen's time with the Russians, Owen's injuries in the fall, Owen's life as the Deadliest Man Alive, the harder he pushes himself to defeat Chimera. Except every new piece of information he learns is like a knife to the gut. His conscience burns at him. He sees Owen everywhere, all the time. Beautiful visions of him, horrifying visions of him, waking, sleeping, wherever he goes and whatever he does. And Owen was right- Curt can never catch up to them. He tries and he tries, but he fails. Whatever promises he whispered to Owen's body, he can't fulfill them. And he knows it. He knows it right up until the moment he dies.

[uhhhitsme]

24, 29 and 32 Curt?

-24- best memory

i think he would tell himself its the berlin mission in 1956. i haven't nailed down any of the details for what went on DURING the mission exactly, but it would entail owen doing something crazy stupid for curt, and the two of them emerging victorious and covered in blood and more in love than ever. it solidified to him the idea that together, they're unstoppable, and eased some of curt's anxiety about whether or not the ocean of feelings curt has for owen is matched.

but really, it was something from earlier in their relationship---june of 1954. owen had gotten himself decently hurt on a mission---not serious enough that curt was afraid for him, but serious enough that it couldn't be ignored. curt insisted on patching owen up, and unlike every other time curt has had to take care of him, owen let him do it without a fight. and there was this moment where curt looked up from his work, halfway through a passionate speech about why it was essential that he keep a bottle of whiskey and a bag of chips in his medkit, and caught owen looking at him with eyes full of light. and for a moment, he was overwhelmed with the knowledge that owen had trusted him with this. trusted curt to take care of him. let curt see him at his most vulnerable.

after, when they went to bed. owen kissed him in the gentle, comforting way that he typically reserved for when curt was hurt, or when thought curt was too out of it to notice. curt read him to sleep, and then stayed up for hours---heart bursting with an emotion so indescribable, so impossible it made his head spin. the kind of feeling you get falling.

-29- quirks and personal habits

curt paces a LOT. not just when he's stressed---literally whenever he feels too much about anything, happy or frustrated or thinking about owen. when he can't pace, he bounces his leg or clasps his hands together so tight you can see the tension running through his arms.

during the winter, he gets dry lips, and he never can stop himself from picking them. he refuses to use lip balm (partially because of toxic masculinity and partially because he hates how it feels).

he has really poor volume control and often doesn't realise when he's being too loud (which made stealth training hell for him when he first started out.) he also gets really really loud when he's excited/afraid.

he sings to himself to get earworms out of his head. depending on the song, it either drives owen bananas or is ridiculously endearing

he listens to a lot of radio, even if he doesn't particularly enjoy it.

he hates quiet, and avoids his apartment like the plague

he hasnt changed the hair product he uses since he was recommended it by a girlfriend in high school

-32- toxic traits

massive inferiority complex that results in him doing very inadvisable things for the sake of trying to prove his own worth

very easily jealous---falls under the whole inferiority complex thing a little, but he can get really bitter when he sees others praised, especially in areas he takes pride in (like spying)

he's constantly trying to present this sort of hypermasculine effortless suave persona, and as a result, can be a dismissive asshole when he thinks he's letting too much of his emotion show

on that note, he doesn't handle vulnerability well. like At All. which, tbf, neither does owen

oftentimes abrasive and just a little bit self-centered, sometimes gets way too caught up in his own shit to pay attention to others needs (although he tries really, really hard with owen)

i feel like theres a word for this, but that thing where you do things without fully conceptualizing the potential consequences of an action until they're staring you in the face. its gotten him into way too much trouble

has a very black and white worldview and........doesn't fully see a lot of his enemies as human, or feel empathy for them. he's very stubborn about what's right and wrong

HE'S LITERALLY A SPY FOR THE US GOVERNMENT WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO SAY

mind you these are the biggest things off the top of my head. there's probably more. love this terrible freak <3

[missholloween]

your last analysis was so good I’m making you do it again/silly

MORE CURTWEN THOUGHTS!!!!!

It's 1 am so this won't be as long as my post this morning (I hope) (I should go to sleep) (this might be rambly)

I don't know if you've heard it, but Love in the Time of Socialsm by Yellow House is how I envision curtwen pre-canon.

Curt and Owen would, from time to time, ask themselves what ifs: what if they could work together more often, what if they had a different profession, what if they were someone else so that they could be together, what if, what if, what if.

These would be a game at first, a silly excersice for both of them to dream of a situation in which they could have the happy and easy life most people had while being together. I think Curt would deflect a lot, often not taking them seriously and seeing them as just an exercise, a way to pass time. I think Owen, on the other hand, would cling to those hypotheticals more than he'd like to admit: sure, it's fun to imagine a normal life with Curt, but that's not what he wants... Is it?

As time goes by and their relationship gets stronger, Owen would start to talk about these hypotheticals in a different way: when they get older and they retire, they might get a quiet, happy life, "wouldn't that be nice, Curt?". Although I don't think he would've done it before the fall, I see Owen talking to Curt about leaving everything behind (the agencies, their countries) so that they could be together. Neither of them would really do it, they liked being spies and their line of work, but I don't think they would see it as something ridiculous either. They loved each other, and they'd love to be with the other. They simply know that people like them just can't have it.

So they'd work, wishing for their next mission together, wishing that they can stay longer with the other. Because one day, they might be able to be with their partner without hiding, maybe they'll be able to rest, maybe they will be able to love each other without fear.

Sadly, that day never came for them.

[amazingmsme]

I HAVE READ ALL OF THEM AND THEY'RE SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! (I did just reread the down under one though and UGH it's incredible) No pressure, but I'm craving some evil ler!Curt headcanons if you have any????? I need Owen to be flustered So Bad they're literally perfect to meeeeee alsjalsjkanakan <3333

Okay I need to write a fic now I think my brain is itching.

@bow-of-aros

I literally had so much fun with that one, glad you liked it! & I’ve done literally so many headcanons, I can’t think of what to add right now without being redundant. So I’ll just add them here

& here

& here

Here too

Right here

Right there

Over here

Also here

Don’t forget here

Or here

There’s some here too

Almost there

& here’s the last one

[smytherines]

I think if they both stay in the job- and they probably will- then they're doomed. Maybe they get more years together if Curt doesn't drop the banana peel, but eventually espionage will kill one of them or both of them. Its a brutal, violent, horrible life and there's no way it doesn't destroy them somehow.

BUT if they leave together. If they run away, fake their deaths, do whatever it is they have to do to get out, I honestly do think they'd have something long and meaningful. Modern, healthy relationships are sustained by things like being able to get mental health treatment, having support networks outside of your partner, your relationship not being illegal, hell just having our modern concept of a healthy relationship to begin with. Curt and Owen had none of that.

They were absolutely isolated in their relationship, no support of any kind, and still they managed to keep their relationship going maybe for years, despite having no control over when they'll see each other and having to break the law to be together. They still managed to work perfectly together and banter and finish each other's sentences and grin at each other like lovesick losers. I think that's the kind of love that can work, even if it starts out rocky.

Curt calls Owen his "partner" and his "best friend," and as much as those are euphemisms for "boyfriend," I don't think that's all they are. I think Curt genuinely thought of Owen as his best friend, his partner, his equal. That's the kind of relationship they had. Working in sync. Having each other's backs. Trying to take care of each other. Owen's overwhelming sense of betrayal, his anger, how hurt he still is four years later, that only makes sense to me if he loved Curt and trusted Curt.

I think if the banana peel had never happened, and they had found some way to get out together, to be a real couple that actually gets to see each other instead of two weapons owned by their respective governments, I think they would've made it. I think they loved each other enough to make it.

if curt hadn't left the banana peel on the ground, would he and owen have lasted together? or would one of their agencies have found out about the nature of their relationship, or would one of them have died in the line of action anyway, or would they just have fallen apart because a relationship built on secrets was never going to last when the entire world seemed to be against them.

their legacies would never die - they'd both be known as some of the most famous secret agents in history. spies never die.

but who knows if that logic could be applied to the love between the two of them?

[crashthatcopter]

buck never knew how much he would love being pampered and wooed until tommy came into his life. the first time tommy gave him flowers he forgot how to form words, marveled at them, feeling cherished. he scrambled around his loft looking for something that could hold them. as the days passed and the flowers began to sag and wilt buck would stare at them like a sad puppy. eventually they died and he had to throw them out, and the next day there was tommy with more flowers and a gift and a sweet kiss. maybe buck swooned and started to fall in love.

tommy never knew how much he would love being treated like he was precious, cradled in someone's arms, cuddled in bed, being the little spoon, a treasure. he'd known physical intimacy but not like this, not as the one receiving all of one person's attention, focus and energy. his exes assumed that just because he was bigger, a firefighter, that he always wanted a specific role. buck didn't assume like that, and when he wanted, when he was craving it, buck was always there, able to hold him, pin him, ravish him. the first time buck picked him up and threw him on the bed he saw stars, it would've been embarrassing had buck not kissed him about it, telling tommy he was the cutest thing ever. maybe tommy dragged him back down for another kiss and fell in love just a little bit more.

[smytherines]

Thinking about the ADHD Curt and autistic Owen headcanon like

Curt's inattentiveness leads to him forgetting important mission equipment and not being able to immediately recall mission details, which makes Owen think that he's reckless and doesn't care about anything other than looking cool

Owen's meticulous note-taking and diagrams and over-preparedness for missions makes Curt think that Owen is worried about nothing, makes him dismiss Owen's warnings as just anxiety, when actually Owen does that because he knows he freezes up when things don't go according to plan, so he thinks if he plans for every possible contingency then he won't freeze in the moment and get them both killed

[uhhhitsme]

hey just a quick silly little reminder. the feelings they shared died the night curt left him for dead. but the owen that loved him didn't die until after. the owen that loved him stared him down on those steps, in the dark again, alone again, grieving something so intangible the only word he could summon for it was a secret. a private, intimate thing. something precious in it's vulnerability. a weapon.

and in a way, a promise. something to be kept. the secret that owen kept for curt was love---the kind of love that's crafted impossibly, made on stolen time, born from loneliness and from kinship, from the wonder of being known and being wanted for it. the kind of love that got you to lower your guard, to turn your back on your keeper, because you trust that they will keep this secret safe, even when it can kill you. you know them. you are both sworn to this oath. the same oath that makes your voice tremble when you speak of the remnants, the shards. the same promise that you are so bound to that even after betrayal, to finally sever the chains---to let him go---is unbearable. you stare him down, in the dark, abandoned, alone, and you love him, still. you can't pull the trigger. you can't break that vow.

the owen that loved curt died on those stairs, at his lovers hand. he took their secret to the grave.

[smytherines]

Ugh I shouldn't say it but: the headcanon that Owen treated Curt like shit before the fall. That he was constantly demeaning Curt, that he was jealous and possessive, that he took joy in Curt suffering or feeling inadequate. I know it's a headcanon probably most of the fandom has adopted, but it just doesn't seem to be supported by A1P1 at all, and it bums me out.

I'm sorry, I know people don't like it, but Owen is not the one established to be jealous in A1P1- Curt is. Like, to the extent that TCB literally wrote a line pointing out that Curt is jealous. When Cynthia tries to recruit Owen (even though he immediately shuts her down) Curt gets irritated, Owen notices and says "What are you, jealous? You know I'd never work for the Americans."

Owen isn't established as berating or ignoring his partner in A1P1- Curt is. After Owen points out that he would never work for the Americans, Curt says "Oh I do know that you couldn't handle it." When Owen tells him he shouldn't drink until they're out of the building, Curt makes fun of his concern and his accent. When Owen points out the banana peel, Curt says something like "this whole place is about to be garbage anyways, who gives a shit?"

At no point in A1P1 does Owen insult Curt. Hell, while he's still in disguise he's literally praising Curt, with lines like "You're even stronger than your reputation suggests, Mr. Mega," and "how can you stay so cool and collected when you are staring death right in the face?" My honest opinion is that Owen thinks its hot that his boyfriend is a lil human tank that can somehow deflect torture despite being in actual chains (breaking Oleg's fingers, the pipe thing)

The closest Owen comes to insulting Curt in all of A1P1 is when he says "figured it might be good to knock you around a bit, good for old ego. Plus I figured his [Oleg's] day was about to get a whole lot worse" And Curt responds "good point" and smiles at him. Owen talked his way past 20 Russian security officers to get to Curt, and the worst thing that we actually see happen to him in that chair is one punch that Curt shrugs off immediately. To me, Owen does not read at all like he wants Curt to be hurt in that scenario, it very much feels like a flirtation (especially if you believe Curt when he says he knew it was Owen all along). The worst thing Owen does to Curt is tickle him with a big fluffy feather.

To me, that part of A1P1 reads as a direct contrast to Torture Tango. So when they are still together, before the fall, Owen does about the softest thing possible to Curt- he tickles him. And then after the fall he literally tortures him. If Owen enjoyed seeing Curt suffer before the fall, it would've been very easy for Owen to legitimately hurt Curt while he was chained to a chair. To really degrade and abuse and humiliate him. But he doesn't do that.

If Owen were really this horrible abusive controlling toxic boyfriend, I find it very difficult to believe he would allow Curt to do the kind of reckless things Curt does in A1P1. If he took pleasure in seeing Curt struggle he could've just hung back and watched as Curt's boss humiliates him. But he doesn't do that, he immediately stops what he's doing and comes back as soon as he hears that Cynthia is yelling at Curt. He intervenes to get Cynthia off Curt's back, despite having nothing to gain personally in that scenario except helping Curt.

Curt insults him and blows him off, and Owen doesn't even respond to it. He just shrugs it off. The only time Owen even tries to stand up to Curt is when Curt stops him from relocking the safety barricades and Owen says "No, Curt, trust me, you're going to want to do this."

It kinda feels like people just want to toxic yaoi dynamic, but there's no place post-fall for that version of their relationship to exist, so they just project Owen and Curt's post-fall characteristics backwards, which, to me pretty significantly undercuts how traumatic that event is for both characters. How much it changes them individually. It flattens them out into boring archetypes instead of well written characters with complex motivations.

[rockrosethistle]

I have literally never seen anyone look more lactose intolerant than agent curt mega did immediately before ordering a glass of cream

look at him. look at the posture, the expression. Don't tell me he can tolerate lactose because I know that's not true

[amazingmsme]

yknow with 99% of the fandoms im in

i always think “i love all the tkl hcs and everything like that but sadly i know they’d never really have anything like this in canon”

EXCEPT FOR SPIES ARE FOREVER. THEY OPENED THE SHOW WITH A TKL SCENE LIKE WHAT. OWEN AND CURT DEFINITELY TKL EACH OTHER LIKE ALL THE TIME.

SPIES ARE FOREVER IS THE ONLY SHOW WHERE I FULLY SUPPORT MY TKL HCS

NO LITERALLY THAT CAUGHT ME SO OFF GUARD LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE OPENING SCENE?!?! In a world where this kinda canon content is few & far between, it’s the last thing we expect to happen, especially right off the bat. Let me tell you, seeing him pull that fucking feather out of his jacket was like a point blank shot to the head, I still have not recovered

[kairithemang0]

Just kinda curious bcs I feel like this is one of if not the most popular saf headcanons

[smytherines]

I've been super interested in this moment for a long time. Just watched it again, and there are six shots that go off, DMA moves the gun six times, but like... he would know that? He would know how many bullets that gun has. He would be counting the shots.

So when he turns the gun back on Curt, he already knows its empty. He throws it at Curt and Curt is clearly stunned. DMA could've taken out the (presumably) loaded gun on his chest holster, or his big ass machete, or the knife on his hip, and taken Curt out right then and there. But he doesn't. He runs away. The person he spent four years hating shows up out of the blue and foils his plans and he just runs away.

Just like several other moments in the show where Owen could have easily killed Curt, and just cannot seem to make it happen. And that's fascinating to me, especially given those moments of hesitation on the staircase. He desperately wanted to kill Curt, but just could not bring himself to do it. So Curt killed him instead.

the one little theory-headcanon i have is that when Agent Curt Mega tries to stop the deal with Sergio and starrs shooting and DMA is leading his arm is that Owen actually counted the bullets so he knew that that particular gun, which was probably Colt Model 1900 (it's one of the most popular guns during the cold war and it has magazine with 7 bullets), didn't have the 8th bullet so the last "shot" won't kill Curt.

[drfirefly08]

warning: ragbros only space you fuckers

[diluc introduces his boyfriend to kaeya]

[dawn winery]

kaeya: [stares]

childe: [stares]

venti: [sipping his dandelion wine] so.. why am i here?

diluc: damage control, i would've picked rosaria or jean but rosaria would've killed ajax without a single thought and jean needs her rest, she has enough on her plate

venti: yeah alright then [continues drinking]

diluc: [sighs and looks at kaeya and childe] are you guys just gonna keep staring?

kaeya: why this fuck-tui? why a fuck-tui at all!

diluc: can you please stop calling the fatui that. i get it, i hate the fatui too, but ajax isn't that bad..

kaeya: no! not at all! he's a harbinger! he's using you obviously!

diluc: no he's not, i thought that at first but seeing him in liyue again.. he's obviously genuine about his love for me

kaeya: i don't trust him!

childe: you're the cavalry captain right? quartermaster too? you must be veryy strong! fight me!

diluc: ajax no-

kaeya: gladly! i'll beat your fuck-tui ass!

diluc: KAEYA NO-

kaeya: maybe you'll show your true colors, tartaglia! that way diluc will finally see reason

diluc: oh fucking barbatos, why must kaeya be so fucking protective... oh! VENTI, HELP ME OUT

venti: nah they'll be fine

diluc: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DAMAGE CONTROL YOU DAMN BARD

venti: i thought you found childe fighting hot

diluc: NOT AGAINST MY BROTHER!!!

[icarustypicalfall]

Do you ever be sitting in peace and then cod men pop in your mind and you start rolling and biting the pillow because why they do not exist. Or then you are daydreaming about your perfect life with them and realize later this won't happen.

Yes. Every. Darn. Day.

masterpost

[crashthatcopter]

Scene

Tommy calling Buck, wanting to apologise for how everything went down. And to tell him that he wants to see him again because he knows he fucked up and Buck deserves the whole truth and not the mean-spirited things that came out of Tommy's mouth in the heat of the moment. It goes to voicemail.

He looks at his phone, sorrowfully.

Camera zooms in on the phone then zooms out.

Phone is now on the floor in the middle of debris showing "1 missed call from Tommy 💔". Slowly pans over to show Buck's hand laying beside it, just out of reach.

Pans out, Buck's jeep in the middle of the freeway totaled. Only Buck's arm can be seen from underneath it.

End Scene

[part 2]