#I have zero desire to recreate that

[micamicster]

Btw writing on the latest fic stalled massively while I was on my last rotation however plan to jumpstart it by taking a lil “research trip” when I’m back in the city (forcing my sister to take the F to queens and back with me <3)

[hanaruri-tunes]

Your latest HC post got me thinking. Do you think the bros ever tried to give MC some food or drink that had their “essence” in it? Maybe they’d also kick back and watch as MC slowly becomes addicted to it, wanting more as the days go by and probably begging to know what’s in it so they can recreate that delectable treat they gave.

Oh my god wudhydsjhf I didn't even think about that but yeah, each demon in the devildom is probably well-aware of the properties of their semen so they can in fact use it as "enhancement" on food. Pretty evil. Okay really REALLY quick and short headcanons on that idea, based on my earlier headcanons of course:

Lucifer

Has definitely thought about it but he feels like doing this would be "stooping too low" and it's not "classy" to use such a tactic to win you over, because yes the avatar of pride has SOME standards. But I can definitely imagine that once you're in a relationship with him he would let you taste some of his "essence" in food. THOUGH TO BE CLEAR he makes you aware of it, like, he warns you so you know beforehand what's in the food.

Mammon

Also has definitely thought about it but he feels too guilty to do that to you. Even if he does end up putting some of it into your food of drinks he always chickens out at the last moment with a dumb excuse like "oh the choco milk is probably too cold already, I'll bring you another cup NO- t-this cup's no good forget it, don't even take a sip of it-"

Leviathan

Similar to Mammon (as in, he feels guilty) but his inherent possessiveness over you wins over and he swallows back his guilt and shame (also, if you find out you'll definitely mock him for it which he looks forward to.) Not like you will though since his semen has hypnotic side-effects, he'll ask for things from you like flashing your panties at him or hugging him or whatever then he'll make you forget any of it happened because he's a coward haha.

Satan

Hmm he's a difficult one to grasp for me- But I suppose the idea would cross his mind though he'll never act upon it. He'll imagine it for sure but even if demon seeds taste good and aren't all that "dangerous" to consume, making you drink something that came from him without your knowledge doesn't sit well with him. If you ever do it, he wants you to drink it because you want to while exactly knowning what's inside the cup.

Asmo

Zero shame, zero guilt. Tries to do it at every occasion he gets but you (and the brothers) are already well aware of his intentions so you're not allowed to drink anything that Asmo has supposedly "prepared". Of course the reason why they're so protective is because he has already succeeded a couple of times in the past and your face looks way too cute under his seed's influence. The aphrodisiac aspect of it being way too strong and overkill it gets everyone too hot and bothered while looking at you, it's almost painful for them to see you in that state without being able to act upon their desires in front of the rest of their brothers.

Beel

To be completely honest I don't even think the thought would cross his mind djshdjz. It probably only would once you guys are deep in a relationshio and having sex, since he has tasted you and liked it he suddenly realizes he can "feed" you as well. "Oh- did I ever tell you that demons' semen have special tastes and side-effects? Would you like to try?" He's pretty genuine about it, no ulterior motives. Just wants to "feed" you.

Belphie

This little fucker is the most devious little shit ever. EVERYTIME he's on cooking duty he does it. Since I headcanon that his have hallucinogen effects, at first no one exactly knows what's wrong with the food. With Asmo it was obvious since his aphrodisiac effect is 100% straightforward: pure pleasure. But Belphie? Might as well be slipping drugs in there dryjghfhd ANYWAY, he loves seeing you confused or impressed, a bit lost in your magical "daydreams". You start to like it and even praise his cooking not knowing how the hell he does that (you assume he just applies some sort of spell on the food.) But once the brothers find out/understand what he does to you, they're furious, and Belphie is banned from cooking duty which was probably about 30% of the reason why he started putting his juices there in the first place djhehdhz

[starboy-acer]

late night riptide sadness

i just want everyone to know that if chip never experienced the devastating events of losing his found family to a black hole in the sea as a child and feeling so devastated by it that he tries to recreate his old crew with new people and try so so desperately to find the black rose pirates

jay would've never left the navy. she would've been stuck in a corrupt system that she's always had a hatred for because she didn't have the strength to leave and never had that one guy show up and encourage her to leave everything behind and lead her own life

gillion tidestrider would be all alone. he never feels like he belongs in the oversea because he doesn't understand anything and nobody is willing to teach him and he will never be able to return to his home in the undersea due to be exiled. it's likely that he dies alone, scared, and outcasted.

if chip never experienced one of the greatest pains of his life, his best friends and platonic soulmates would've never gotten to take control of their own lives and be happy. they would've eternally suffered.

chip had to suffer for a decade and continues to suffer from the trauma of the black hole in the sea in order for his friends to be happy. and in return, they help him move through it. they help him work through a decade of hurt because he saved their lives.

to add onto that; that little old town would forever be cursed and old man earl would've never gotten to experience the world. oliver teach would've grown up in a navy controlled zero and would've never gotten to experience what life can be outside of his home town. queen would've never found real friends who encourage him to do his best. captain lizzie and the grandberry pirates would be fighting a lost cause against the navy without the riptide pirates quite literally causing a riptide on outlaw soil and starting a revolution. desire island would still all be stone and be under the enchantress's spell (also the girls serving her would've never been free). drey would've died at the hands of his brother in an eternal prison and finn would forever be a bird, not even fully aware of what he was before.

good ole chip bastard saved hundreds, if not thousands, of people DIRECTLY and he will still never feel good enough. he will still never feel like he's as great as his old crew was and will always feel like he's letting them down in some way, shape, or form. he will never feel good enough, even though he and his crew are the heroes in hundreds of people's stories.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/6/2024

people mad at a video game for being woke, i'm mad at it for not being woke enough. so it goes.

also i wrote a yeehawgust fic

listening

another addition to the "SOMEBODY COME FUCK THIS (GAY)" playlist, thank u charli xcx and billie eilish

-

reading

im still really annoyed with Retraction Watch for platforming a terf last year and then not doing any sort of sockpuppet damage control in the comments. since they got acquired by crossref they've done way less guest editorials. not to be all "stick to sports!" but stick to sports, retraction watch.

they did introduce me to this substack series i will be following with great interest about the rise and fall of hindawi. wiley acquired a paper mill a few years back, bc they seemingly did zero diligence, and then blithely ignored the problem for two years before being forced to do the single largest retraction of papers in scientific publishing history, somewhere above ten thousand articles because it is STILL ONGOING.

i do love following various retractions bc i like seeing what finally made someone go "wait a minute", and, as i have just written in a cover letter, "I studied astronomy and have held several data jobs because I’m fascinated with how and why systems work and fail..."

-

watching

my best friend has decided while i'm at her home in the evenings eating her food and bothering her children (for my mental health, it is very important i am fed tiny bits of mushed up banana by hand by her one-year-old), our new project is watching all the xmen movies. i have no particular desire to do this or special affinity for the xmen, and i would like to keep eating very good texmex and bothering her children (for my mental health, it is very important i play hot wheels with the five-year-old). this sounds so super bitchy of me but it's hard to convey that these are essentially on for background noise.

saw the first two. the two things i know about them are that hugh jackman is in them and they're at the statue of liberty in one

-

playing

an ideologically baffling little environmental game free in the epic store this week, LumberJack. this is on PC and Switch for $13, which is far more money than the playtime anyone can get out of this game. tiny tiny tiny little Spain-headquartered studio without an active website, it looks like one guy hired out to make this and two more games and then went back to single-dev projects. i can respect that!

steam reviewers are mad at this game for being woke, and i'm mad at it for being woke in a very strange way. your one mechanic, as a bear, is swinging a big axe to remove cars and trailer offices and portapotties and various garbage from the landscape.

i wish the movement and look controls are inverted, and i wish they weren't, or at least had an option to make them normal. i know Why this isn't a mobile game (can't monetize something with twoish hours of gameplay and twenty levels) but it's a very straightforward and simple game that would translate very well to mobile. much like donut county.

now for being picky about the political mindset of the developers: as much fun as it is to be a bear swinging an axe around, lumberjacks are not the people i associate with wild preservation movements.

saving the land and turning it back into pristine and perfect land for wild animals in this game looks like erasing every hint of human activity from a site and turning it into sheer recreational use. many levels are heavily polluted, but some can definitely be read as recycling centers. im confused by the erasing every hint of humans in early levels, and then this level where you break down a radio station, slap the host with your axe, and she turns into a park ranger who starts gardening and taking care of chickens?

i don't think that removing all the traces of people from the landscape will magically fix everything, nor do i think simply being in unspoiled wilderness will magically fix me.

there's a golfing level where you whack bombs into various small buildings. i think golfing to save the environment is a strange choice to make for designing a game.

i also briefly thought this bird in every level was an extinct ivory-billed woodpecker, which was a little alarming bc there are some real nutjobs out there with very strong beliefs about this bird and government overreach and how much the government is lying to you about the extinctness of various animals.

i stopped playing about halfway through bc i was not having fun and found the underlying environmental message a little confused. they've managed to sell at least 10k units which is...not very good. i am not surprised this is free on epic, and i wonder what their payout for that was. would not be surprised if they negotiated a payment to their nonprofit partner ecologi as part of that.

-

making

yeehawgust fill! i have another bitchy blond babygirl!

what the fuck is the prisoner? cult 60s british spy tv. with all the surreality and anxieties about the cold war and midcentury psychological horror you could possibly want

He’d been drugged enough times to recognize the splitting migraine rapidly galloping down his neurons. “Where am I?” He fought down the taste of bile (ketamine? xylazine, by the aftertaste) and the rising panic. Oddly enough, the migraine was always worse with veterinary sedatives. One would think a mind would adapt to nearly three hundred years of irregular drugging and constant experiments. One’s body had adapted and ghoulified, but in equally unhelpful ways. The tycoon flickered, approximating an appraising blink. “This meeting has been a long time coming, hasn't it? You've come a long ways, literally and, I suspect, figuratively as well. You’re in the Free Economic Zone of New Vegas.” They’d pretended the prisons were so many different places: across the Continent, in various parts of London, up and down and all around the East Coast of these wretched States. Rarely this far west, aside from the awful escapade in the faux pre-War Western town. “What do you want?” He managed to swing his ankles off the saddle (also pre-War? Heavily used. It certainly wasn’t his, the equestrian event had always been his worst event in the pentathalon) and jolted what felt like every half-dead nerve in his half-dead body.

[alto-tenure]

Do the ends justify the means?: A Zero Escape analysis

I'm not here to answer a nuanced philosophical question, sorry. At least not in any way beyond "it depends on the ends, and it depends on the means". If you'd like to leave your own opinion, as of the time this post was made, I have a poll open for that. A while ago, somewhere on Tumblr, I read a post criticizing the moral framework of Virtue's Last Reward, saying that the game (and especially the formatting of the AB Game), right down to its title, says "morals are for suckers" in comparison to 999 being driven by compassion. I don't agree with this premise (and if you're OP of that post, I apologize for making an example of you), but nonetheless I wish to take a closer look at the moral framework driving all three Zero Escape games, and ask: what exactly does Zero Escape as a franchise believe about the ends and the means?

DELTA: Don't be mistaken. If we do nothing now and let time pass, an even worse future awaits. A religious fanatic will trigger a nuclear war with a terrorist attack. Eight billion... All of mankind will perish. Unfortunately, the fanatic's identity is unknown. Therefore I decided to kill six billion people.

AKANE: Why...

DELTA: By doing so, I will have a 75% chance that they are among the virus's casualties. To tell the truth, history has proven me right.

JUNPEI: So...to kill one person, you'll sacrifice six billion...?!

DELTA: It is to save two billion people.

AKANE: And that's how you used Radical-6...

DELTA: You don't believe that's the ethical choice?

AKANE: What?! Of course I don't!

JUNPEI: Is that all you think human lives are worth?! Do you feel nothing as you kill off a whole bunch of innocent people?!

I'm opening with this because Zero II, aka Delta, is the most extreme of the Zeroes in terms of how far their means go to justify their desired end. Delta's desired end, as textually expressed (or at least one of them), is to assemble a group of SHIFTers capable of creating a timeline where Radical-6 is unnecessary and the world doesn't end.

Zero is, generally, painted as this somewhat mysterious shadowy villain, an intimidating presence that looms over the game Zero runs, even as the characters figure out that someone among them must be Zero themself. At first the player's not sure why Zero set up the Game -- for entertainment? For some kind of fucked up experiment?

But with the reveal of Zero's identity also comes the reveal of Zero's motives.

I get everything now... At last, I finally understand what all of this means. I know why the Nonary Game was held today. I know why we were kidnapped and brought here. It was all for this moment. All of this was planned out to lead to this one moment. Oh my God... This is...this is insane! I...I can't believe it, but there's only one possible answer... June is--Zero is--Akane Kurashiki. She recreated the history of the future that she had a glimpse of, 9 years ago. She tried to save herself that way 9 years ago-- No! She's trying to save herself right now! That means that there's only one thing for me to do. Even if this is all some sort of insane plan... I will save her... I will save...Akane Kurashiki. I must save her, no matter what!

(minor edits made to game's script here for readability)

Nothing about Zero's motivations is ever simple, regardless of the game -- Delta is not alone with his complex motives. In 999, it's left uncertain what exactly Zero's motivations are for a while. It's only once you start to learn about the first Nonary Game and the experiments conducted there that you start to get a picture of what's really going on, and even then, it's not truly an accurate picture. You start to see the outlines of a possible revenge plot, of the men at its center, of the targets placed on the backs of Cradle Pharmaceutical's executives. But ultimately, it's not really about revenge, though that's kind of a component. It's about saving a girl trapped in a paradox. The Cradle Pharmaceutical executives could have gotten out alive -- and for that matter, the game was designed so that the door was left open. Revenge wasn't the true goal, though perhaps it was optimistic to believe in a timeline where Ace wouldn't kill the others, all things considered. Is Akane's life worth the lives of the Cradle Pharmaceutical executives? Is Akane's life worth the trauma she inflicted on the others and re-inflicted on Clover and Light? The game hardly leaves any time for an answer from anyone besides Junpei. And Junpei won't let Akane die.

We never see Akane, so we don't get too much more rumination on this. Do the ends justify the means? Someone needed to save Akane's life, and danger is required for the morphogenetic field to work. And I don't think there's anyone who would want to let 12-year-old Akane burn in the incinerator (besides the person who put her there), regardless of what she has to do in order to avoid being burned.

Virtue's Last Reward and Zero Time Dilemma both massively up the stakes from 999. What hangs in the balance isn't the fate of a single girl, but the fate of the whole world.

Virtue's Last Reward places an emphasis on predestination -- not that 999 didn't have those aspects, but that the future was much less certain in 999 in comparison. Akane is both dead and alive, but in Virtue's Last Reward, the apocalypse has already happened, and the world has already died. What matters, then, is not the timeline that we are present in, but the timelines that could be. In End or Beginning, you're left with that hope for a better timeline -- hope that the Sigma that jumped to December 2028 can create a better timeline. But in the meantime, this Sigma is stuck in this timeline, and that won't change for another forty-five years.

Would I...would we really be able to change the course of history? No...that was the wrong way to look at it. It couldn't be a question. I had to change history. We could save the world. I'm going to change history. I stared at the darkening skies above us, and steeled myself. I would succeed.

Sigma comes to the same conclusion as Junpei in 999: someone needs saving, and so the past must be changed. Becoming Zero is necessary because he already has before. "What you are, I was; what I am, you will become." Sigma is the one caught in the paradox this time, because if he runs from the fate in front of him, then there isn't even a semblance of hope that things could change.

But that's not where the game ends, thanks to natural disasters in Japan.

TENMYOUJI: But what would rewriting their history mean? The nine [bikers] who survived lived full lives. How can it be right to just erase all that? The survivors overcame their own misery and loss, and made the best they could of the hand they'd been dealt. Isn't that worth something? Isn't that the best thing that humans can aspire to? Is there really any point to a world where everything is happy? Are people who struggle for a better world just idiots? Being human is about fighting even when it seems hopeless, and finding happiness even in a world that hates it. Are you saying that's worthless?

Another Time may not have ultimately been taken into account for Zero Time Dilemma, but it is one of the few times when Zero's mindset -- and the player's mindset, due to experience with 999 and other multi-route visual novels -- is directly addressed and challenged. Life goes on in those abandoned timelines, despite it all.

Zero is always going to be dubiously moral. Putting people in a death game is never going to be something good, no matter how just a cause it is. But Another Time is one of the few times the first two games question directly whether it really is right -- whether all those cross-timeline casualties are really worth it for the ideal nice happy ending.

...of course, Zero Time Dilemma, as with the title, only adds to the moral balance.

Going back to the lines of dialogue we started with here: Akane and Junpei are a group of people who, generally, believe that the ends justify the means. Akane couldn't have been Zero in 999 without that belief, and she undoubtedly has come to fully accept it by the ending of Virtue's Last Reward:

SIGMA: Do you really think I can keep the virus from getting out?

AKANE: You have to. If you don't, billions of people will die. Only you and Phi can save them.

The AB Project, for Akane, is a necessity. She'll do whatever is necessary for a world without Radical-6.

...and this brings us back once more to Delta. How far do the ends have to go to justify the means? ZTD bends over backwards to explain how Delta can still have a somewhat sympathetic motivation by stating that he's fighting fire with fire -- asking the player if they'd rather kill six billion or eight billion people. And the answer, according to the writers, is "fuck that, we're finding a third option"...which is also what Delta wanted, in the end. Delta also gets his motivations challenged a fair bit -- not just wanting to secure his own existence in the form he is currently in, but also everything apocalypse-related.

Zero Time Dilemma never quite settles the question of whether the ends justify Delta's means of getting there. In my opinion, what you make of Carlos's final decision and resolving the ambiguity says a lot about your thoughts on how Delta's means work towards the ends he sought.

But in the end...the characters still accept Delta's premise. The characters are still working to find the person who Delta claims doomed the human race to either nukes or Radical-6 and the annihilation reactors. Zero Escape as a series has firmly lodged itself into believing the ends justify the means, even if that means it has to justify brutal deaths and an apocalypse-causing virus. That isn't to say that it's incapable of questioning the premise altogether, but Zero as a figure is one that cannot exist without the philosophy of a good outcome mattering more than any bad outcomes along the way.

[junyok]

Ⳋ᧙ 9/28

i’m notoriously known for having the fattest ass known to existence. my ass is so fat, people stop everything they’re doing just to see if their eyes are deceiving them. when i’m called up to answer a question on the board at school, the classroom goes silent just to focus, admire, analyze and take notes on everything i’ve got going on: from head to toe, im the epitome of perfection.. when i walk past i drown everyone’s noses in my sweet, addictive and intoxicating scent, my hair always looks like i just left the salon 5 minutes prior, my face card never declines, my skin has zero texture whatsoever and my makeup exceeds “no makeup makeup”, not because im trying to look like i have none on but because that’s how well my makeup blends in with my face and smooth skin, my facial features are desired by all, everyone wishes their eyes were as unintentionally hypnotic as mine, they show pictures of my nose & lips to plastic surgeons just to recreate how perfect and kissable mine are, if people aren’t stuck on my eyes they’re admiring my plump kissable lips that are only reserved and kissed by my sp. my boobs are round and heavy, yet comfortable for me and soft enough for my sp. my ass has people taking double.. triple.. quadruple fucking takes just to see if my absolute dump truck of a booty is from protein shakes, my mother’s soul food cooking or a good trip to dr. miami. my thighs and quads are soft and squishy yet carry a balance of muscle and strength, matching my insanely heavy rear end… it is inhumanly possible and completely wrong to ever see me as anything other than the ultimate dream girl. when people think of their dream girlfriend, im the first thought.. when other women think of their desired face, body and aura, they think of me and only me. i’m everyone’s top priority and their dominant thought. i’m simply the emperor of their mind and my universe.

[atsoraasayoma]

Is Homeostasis the True Villain? Or is she a grand architect in the battle for balance versus chaos?

Don’t let adventure influenced/partially possessed Hikari’s kind demeanor fool you. She is a powerhouse giving Digimon the intense power to surpass limits and digivolve such as wargreymon slicing up Machinedramon like an onion.

She is strangely absent in Zero Two but Gennai and the Digimon Sovereign act as agents in her stead. It seems the goal is, at the time for evil to be eradicated by the wishes of children and their power/energy for their Digimon to digivolve.

Sounds innocent enough, right?

Fast forward to Digimon Tri where she body snatches Himekawa messing her up in the process as she gives the order to sacrifice her partner.

Then to Hikari being possessed and controlled as well. (This is why you don’t answer unknown calls people).

When this happens all kind benevolent pretext is over. If you fail your part she will intervene. Whether reboot of the Digital World or the real one. Any threats to the Digital World must be contained.

She even taunts the Digidestined telling them that their teamwork has failed them this time. Perhaps she treats them coldly because they are no longer little kids with infinite potential but teenagers whose powers are there but limited. How limited?

Fast Forward to Kizuna. We learn from Gennai a Digidestined has an expiration date as a chosen child unless they can unlock new potential. Menoa is the personification of that Despair but Homeostasis does NOT intervene.

Why? Strange as it is I think she was going to use the data of the brainwashed kids to recreate Digimon and human partners without an expiration date. She recognized Menoa’s despair and allowed her the light of Digivolution from this newly synthetic Digimon with data based off her partner to take authority and fulfill her desire. And IF she succeeded Homeistasis would reap the results.

But, this failed. She lost the Digidestined that had done the most for her and those Digidestined were no longer necessary having expired.

So now where does she go from here? How can SHE protect the Digital World when all of her efforts only are leading to more work?

It’s simple and brilliant if not disturbing. Like many have said she used the suffering of Rui as a blueprint for Digidestined partners. This relationship would be a litmus test on just how far the power of wishing could save the Digital World.

We’ve seen it in 02 the final battle with MaloMyotismon and the epilogue. Everyone gets a Digimon (or at least a Digidestined’s powers to have a partner are hereditary even going as far as the TYPE of partner a Digidestined will have).

But I believe much like the reboot option this Ukkomon partnership is a failsafe. She studies and manipulates Rui’s situation of utter despair and loneliness. And this is before she uses the Original Digidestined. It’s a nuclear option for her in case she needs to use it.

The friends Ukkomon creates as justification for the Digidestined line are self fulfilling prophecies, creating problems, fixing them, and then the influence of those involved directly or indirectly with the conflict of those problems spawning new Chosen Children but not Digidestined.

These new Chosen Children are basic as we have never seen them go beyond the champion level. They are not of the particular kind of what qualifies as a Digidestined for they were not guided to solve conflicts directly. Merely indirectly chosen children would be used for their power of wishing and sheer numbers to defend the Digital World against threats.

But, years went by with little to no conflict. Aside from Menoa in Kizuna there was no ‘new’ threat although Chosen Children were increasing every year. Through their efforts Homeostasis indirectly through Ukkomon’s power of granting Rui’s wish activated that fail safe.

Everyone was supposed to get a partner. If everyone has a partner this would ensure there would be no running out of tools/chosen children to defend the Digital World. When they would die of old age the next Chosen Child would replace them.

That was the plan. That was Homeostasis’s goal. It was the harmony and the balance needed to stave off the continual threats to the Digital World.

But, that plan, that fail safe did NOT go through. The 02 Digidestined stopped her machinations. They foiled her grand design for perpetual protection.

And so, between now and the epilogue I believe she is in desperation mode. Why? Lurking in the background between Digital World narratives and the Digidestined I believe there is a threat unlike any other that DEMANDS every single human being to have a partner to stave off the viral Digital Threat.

If it’s so powerful Homeostasis actively manipulates generations JUST to get to this point I believe it is so severe sheer numbers will be needed or the power of their wishes.

Much like we saw with the birth of Omegamon the combined power of not just humans, but Chosen Children is necessary to defeat a foe so mighty it is the most powerful viral Digimon to ever exist. I would go so far to say it may be the SOURCE of all the viral Digimon much like how Apocalymon was the source of the original adventure antagonists.

In other words, with the Digidestined having completely shut down her last effort to save the Digital World she is going to have to no choice but rely on the 02 Digidestined.

The OGs are out except in a support role. The 02 Digidestined, specifically Takeru and Hikari will be greatly needed in order to unlock a savior Digimon to stop the ultimate threat.

Remember. all of the Digidestined except for Takeru and Hikari don’t have the full power of a crest. ONLY they do. Ken is questionable ? He never used it to Digivolve. The others have/had Digi eggs that used the passed on influences of the crests but not the crests directly themselves. Homeostasis will convince them somehow to unlock an ultimate power to eliminate the viral threat once and for all so both worlds will be in peace so the utopia Hikari imagined and Homeostasis strives for will be achieved.

I don’t know what this threat is but it will be life threatening on a genocidal scale.

It will involve the whole world and there are only a few Digidestined left (and thousands of foot soldiers) that can stand up to it.

It will be a grand climax felt through generations. It will somehow restore the OG Digidestined partnerships and lead us to an epilogue that may take on a more defined conclusion.

All of these events in the anime and the movies are pivot points linking to this one final threat where the fate of humanity and Digimon will be decided.

Let’s hope the 02 Digidestined are up for the challenge.

Because, after all their teamwork has never failed them. Their bond with their Digimon is as strong as ever. They are the unwritten exception to the rule and have more to give, and bonds that regardless of life’s circumstances will NEVER expire.

They are the 02 Crew. THEY are the Digidestined Homeostasis will have to go all in on. And THEY and their Digimon will be the catalysts to decide the fate of both worlds.

[tgrailwar-zero]

For those that follow me outside of here, you may have been present for my waffling as to whether to continue a few weeks back. And I've made a decision.

THGW-Zero will be continuing!

And while I don't play FGO anymore, I'm not against shamelessly using their assets for this.

Of course, there's a bit more than just that, so let's get into it!

'Major updates' will occur weekly. They won't be just prompts for polls, though. Rather than somewhat-daily polls with a limited amount of options, the main posts will put into consideration as many of the asks, comments, and suggestions sent in throughout the week as possible- and the characters will respond. And then, generally at the end of the post there will be a poll pertaining to a major choice to vote on.

However, smaller one-day polls will occur during the week (mainly pertaining to item usage or smaller interactions). They'll also serve as ways to steer the narrative in the 'main post', giving players a chance to nudge things in either a more or less favorable direction. For the sake of simplicity, I'll probably give them a name like 'mini polls', or something.

(This means that some asks will show up during the week before the 'main post', and some will only show up when the 'main post' happens)

So, more akin to this. But hopefully with a better outcome.

This will be the main factor of story progression, and gives people more of a chance to think about what the next desired outcome is rather than feeling like you have to catch everything day-of in order to follow along. So, a 'main post' will be uploaded, a week will pass to discuss, send in asks to learn more about the situation, or give suggestions about what to do for the next 'main post', and then there will be a update a week later (give or take a day to write and gather responses). The day being a chance to gather together people's responses and write the next part of the story. This should help make things both less stressful (both for me and you guys), and easier to keep up with. No more accidentally missing a week and then suddenly everything's changed.

We'll call this a test run. If it doesn't work, we can always go back to normal!

The HP/MP system is going to receive a facelift, as well as the 'success' system. I think a more overt 'gamification' ended up causing more undue stress, so I'm going to try forgoing that for a more narrative approach. Every action will have set pros and cons, some of which will be clearer than others. I want to prompt more exploration and communication, rather than simply 'get the most votes here and everything will be safe and fine forever'.

There will be stricter moderation regarding inter-player discussion. Doing some backreading, there were a lot of moments where I could have put a heavier hand down and cut things off before they got too intense.

And, considering how a recent Grail War got, in a word, 'nasty'- I'm not fond of recreating that. If you're displeased with a situation, then you can make that known without being condescending and unpleasant to other people- and if you're going to do it via anon, then be known that I'm not obligated to post it.

And… that's about it! Keep a lookout for a new 'Main Post' that'll briefly recap the details and push things forward! Hope you all have a good week!

[earnmysong]

i’m just going to leave this here -

tim invites lucy over to watch the superbowl. she brings the peanut butter-frosted footballs she learned how to make in eighth grade FACS and has routinely recreated, opening the door to putting away half a dozen cookies solo more than once. 

the two-minute warning before the half prompts lucy to wonder, ‘do you have jameson’s?’ 

tim nods. ‘pretty solid chance there’s half a bottle left from the christmas’ coquito versus irish coffee battle.’  guiding her slippered feet onto the couch cushion and off his legs, he goes to search the kitchen for proof, which he finds easily, quickly coming back with her request and two glasses. his gentle ‘you okay?’ hits with zero judgement; her sudden desire for straight liquor instead of a fruit-infused mixed drink or simple beer is far from lost on him. 

‘yeah.’ her smile slips for a second; she breathes, swipes under her lashes, and sets her shoulders. ‘just - my last round of rihanna karaoke? i had a different partner.’  

[mdzs-is-rotting-my-brain]

Wangxian Mermay 2023

Day V: Ocean

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

A drunken confession sparked a trip three years in the making.

"You are still not going to tell me where we are going." Lan Zhan said.

His look was heavy, Wei Ying could feel the weight of expectation on the side of his face.

Adjusting his hands on the steering wheel he forced his eyes to stay on the road.

"Nope!"

He couldn't lie to his husband. Lan Zhan knew him too well, Wei Ying had been planning this trip for far too long. There had been so many moving parts, so many people to reach out too to make this happen. He was not about to give it away when they were nearly there.

"Sit back and enjoy the trip your devoted husband has made for you."

Lan Zhan settled into seat, picking up his knitting needles again.

Wei Ying loved his husbands knitting, he had four sweaters, five scarves, three pairs of gloves and two slouchy hats. He started the first sweater when they met through Nie Huaisang during a Cultivation event aimed specifically at inter-species cultivators.

Wei Ying really thought Lan Zhan had hated him when they were paired together. Now he knew that stubborn scowl was Lan Zhan fighting the urge to pin Wei Ying to the nearest surface, kissing him senseless.

He made a sweater every fall they had been together.

Four years was shorter than anything else Wei Ying had in his life before. His parents, his life in the Jiang Sect. Unlike those, this felt permanent.

He knew, no matter wha,t Lan Zhan would be there for him. Never let him go.

He had a ton of doubts about a lot of things. But their love. Their relationship was not one of those.

Up ahead he could see the mountains on the right side coming to an end. He knew Lan Zhan had picked up on his anticipation, he could feel his husbands eyes dart to him. Wei Ying fought to keep a straight face and his breathing level.

The mountains fell away to a glitter expanse of water that reached to the horizon and either on either side as far as the eye could see.

Lan Zhan inhaled sharply, his body going taunt.

Easing off the gas Wei Ying pulled into the cut out constructed for tourists.

"I have never been to the ocean."

Lan Zhan hadn't been what Wei Ying considered 'social.' Reticent and reserved. Everything about him so tightly controlled when Wei Ying said he was going out with his friends a year into their dating life, he floored Wei Ying by saying he wanted to come too.

He was pleasant company at the bbq restaurant, though he spoke little, when he did speak he commanded the table. Offering advice, or the most deadpan humor that was the funniest thing in the fucking world.

He also, as it turned out, had a low tolerance for alcohol. An interesting fact Wei Ying delighted in knowing Lan Zhan trusted him enough to watch over him while inebriated. One cup after he got home had been enough to put him on the flat of his back.

He laid with his head on Wei Ying's lap, watching an ocean documentary when he confessed he'd never seen the ocean.

The rest of the story came from there. His mother, a deep sea Atar, from a village so deep in the south it was impossible to find for the few letters she'd been allowed to write, but something she spoke so often Lan Zhan was able to nearly recreate it in paintings.

The paintings he did and the poems she wrote on the back were all he had left her. No family, no village, no connection. He'd wanted so badly to find that village after her death. A desire so deep he went against his uncle and brother, leaving home at fourteen with his inheritance to search for it.

He never found it. And he never had the courage to reach out the family he had left. He didn't want to be judged for his failure despite his conviction.

It was, admittedly, a lot to divulge. More than the knowledge of his story, was the desire to help his boyfriend.

If desire were contagious, then Lan Zhan was patient zero, because after that Wei Ying laid out a plan with Wen Qing, Wen Ning, Mianmain, jiejie and her husband, Jin Zixuan, and the two-faced butterfly, Nie Huaisang. If anyone could do anything and make someone think it was their idea, it was Nie Huaisang.

He'd had the disturbing front row seat to seeing it happen to Meng Yao a few years ago.

Wei Ying was saved from having to work around his boyfriends confession, when he woke the next day remembering nothing. Wei Ying said he spent a few hours rambling about rabbits and their care and fell asleep in the middle of the show.

Lan Zhan seemed pleased and a bit embarrassed, an embarrassment that melted when he took Lan Zhan to the animal shelter to spend a few hours with the rabbits.

(If he had already called and bought the two he knew Lan Zhan had been eyeing for months. No one needed to know but him.)

A successful distraction acquired, Wei Ying set his plan into motion later that week by searching every box in their apartment and storage room until he found the cared for paintings.

Finding contact information for Lan Huan and Lan Qiren was easier.

Sadly, he didn't find them before his and Lan Zhan's modest wedding, but he was sure they would be up for a lavish vow renewal.

It took a long time, lots of searching and traveling up and down the Jiangnan coast by Nie Huaisang before they found the village and the family they were looking for.

He opened the passenger door, offering his hand to Lan Zhan.

Walking with him to the guardrail to look at the greyish blue waters glowing in the late afternoon sun.

Lan Zhan's face was wide open, though he often didn't hide from Wei Ying, he was reserved from a lifetime of habit. It wasn't hard to read him, not after he'd put in the work to learn how Lan Zhan communicated. But he did enjoy these moments. When he did something that obliterated the habit of reservation. Pure awe and delight written in the wide eyes and slight open mouth, his hands gripping the guardrail.

Wei Ying slid an arm into his, kissing his cheek.

"There's more. And I'm letting you know now, I have alternative plans if this is too much for you."

It took a long moment for Lan Zhan to turn away from the ocean, his face still bright, eyes as deep as the sun.

He asked in the slight narrowing of his eyes, the turn of his mouth, and the tinniest of wrinkles between his brows.

Wei Ying kissed the corner of his mouth and stepped asked, gesturing to the village built along the shore.

He felt Lan Zhan go stiff, all emotion wiped off his face.

Wuzhen Water Town was one of the oldest villages on the coast. According to most rumors, and Nie Huaisang, it was the first village to met Atar's.

Like a diamond on a string of pearls, while buildings were dotted among the landscape of forest and shore. Dark roofs polished a deep black and blue, windows glowing with warm yellow light.

Somewhere down there Lan Zhan's maternal family lived, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles. Distant relatives. Local foods he'd never tried, the songs of his people he'd never heard.

And, of course, Lan Huan and Lan Qiren, both of them probably piles of nerves and anticipation.

Lan Zhan's eyes were red, his mouth wobbling, his hands kept flexing on Wei Ying's waist. His gaze kept darting to each house, as if he could pick out his mother's house from the scant few times she described it.

"It's that one, there." Wei Ying pointed to a large estate on a hill, with a balcony built over the cliffs. "Your zufu says-"

"Zufu?" His voice is a warbling note of hope and caution against the hurt.

Wei Ying pulled him into his arms, kissing his neck.

"Your entire family has come from the Deep, and the Land to see you. We didn't stop until we were sure we had everyone." He squeezed him a bit tighter, "Everyone."

"Shufu, Xiongzhang?" His cracked on his brothers formal address, his hands tightening in Wei Ying's jacket.

"Yes. I brought them too. If this is too much I have a hotel reservation a few mi-"

Warm lips silence the rest.

Every kiss has been as exciting as the first, this one more so for the salt that slipped between their lips. How tightly Lan Zhan held him, his fingers digging into Wei Ying's back. One of these days he was going to get something ethereal and beautiful tattooed on his body in every place Lan Zhan left bruises from holding him so tightly.

"Wei Ying." His voice was shot. Rough and thick, the depth of it made Wei Ying want to pull him into the back seat.

"This is about you love." Wei Ying laid a hand on Lan Zhan's chest, his rabbiting heart racing, "How long we stay, who we talk to, and what we do. You say go and we're gone. Anything." He met Lan Zhan's eyes. His face a pale gold from the setting sun, his eyes glowing. Bright and alive. "I mean it."

Lan Smiled at him, both of his hands cupping his face, holding Wei Ying like he was the most precious thing on the planet.

"I want to swim in my mother's ocean with you first."

Wei Ying smiled at him, "Okay."

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

Self contained one shots?

We don't know her.

Fun facts: the first recorded legends of mermaids was in Syria (according to an Internet search and no follow up) called Atargatis. So the atargatian potion from day four and the 'atar' abbreviation are mutilations of Atargatis because...I don't know why really Mermaid felt childish to me. I wanted something that was carried differently.

[bestworstcase]

…wait. hold up.

like the cat and the jabberwalker, humans are spiritually cut off from the tree but not irrevocably so; the cat and the jabberwalker are connected to the tree through death, implicitly looping them into the cycle of rebirth. humans—modern humans, at least—are at least partially connected to the tree.

the god of light set up his own afterlife to collect the souls of ancient humans, theoretically preventing them from ever reaching the tree. (this is how he’s able to bring ozma back.) it is entirely unclear if this system remains in place for modern humans, although given that the tree can spiritually reach out to modern humans it seems likely that if light’s afterlife is still functioning, it’s no longer watertight.

ozma, the original, dies three times: once of natural causes, once by light’s hand, and once by dark’s.

the god of darkness refers to his resurrection of ozma as an act of creation. (see also, ambrosius ‘creating’ penny’s new body by separating her body from her soul. the god of light may not like it, but putting a raw soul in a position to spontaneously manifest a new body does seem to count as creation.)

and as a further point of interest, the first time dark resurrects ozma, light just incinerates him. the second time, light vaporizes a lot of grimm and then gets manipulative—insinuating that salem manipulated dark in order to provoke dark against ozma. maybe he only switched tactics because he could see dark wasn’t going to back down, but that… didn’t stop light when they were fighting over the jabberwalker, and dark did ultimately kind of win that fight; the jabberwalker still exists.

did dark do something different, the second time, to prevent light from just killing ozma again?

ozpin describes himself as “the combination of countless men” but everything we’ve seen suggests that there are always two, himself and the host, ultimately blended together into two copies of the same person. ozpin also says that his soul and oscar’s are becoming combined into a single soul—the end point of this process one body, one soul, two (identical) minds.

it’s also an extremely lopsided arrangement. oscar is becoming ozpin; ozpin has absorbed a few of oscar’s mannerisms. this is undoubtedly by design—the god of light needs ozma to stay the same, every time, across every lifetime.

the god of light has a PROBLEM with ascension. he made his very first creation, the cat, deathless. when he destroyed the jabberwalker, he got rid of it instead of sending it to the tree. everything we know about his afterlife for human’s suggests that it’s essentially just unconscious stasis, which he calls “rest.” he’s also rigid, controlling, obsessed with his quite narrow conception of order, and retaliates harshly against any perceived interference with ‘balance’—it follows that his problem with ascension is really a problem with change. he wants to design a perfect system and then keep it exactly the same forever.

his brother has no such problem. the god of darkness is comfortable with change and i would argue to some extent considers himself a god of change; he doesn’t define himself by destruction the way light defines himself by creation, and in the two brothers he is depicted as 1. apparently genuinely hurt by the perception that grimm are creatures of malice and hate, 2. delighted by the adaptability and resilience of humankind, and 3. easily bored and driven primarily by a desire for novelty. so dark wants to set up a self-sustaining system that will never stop changing.

ergo, dark almost certainly does not share his brother’s dislike of ascension; he may have respected light’s preferences but it seems fairly clear that he saw ‘the dead stay dead’ as an arbitrary restriction and had zero qualms about swiping ozma’s soul out of light’s afterlife to recreate him.

what i’m getting at here is, exactly how janky were ozma’s three deaths and two resurrections. we know that it’s possible to both combine two souls into one and split one soul into two (pietro created penny with part of his soul, but penny isn’t a duplicate pietro, she’s penny.) we know weird shit can happen when you start mucking around with souls—it’s dangerous and unpredictable, per ambrosius.

if dark did do something different the second time he brought ozma back, it can’t have involved making it so light couldn’t kill him again. the brothers are equally matched in power. dark would have needed to do something that would make light unwilling to kill ozma…

…such as, for example, connecting ozma to the tree. that’s the trump card, here. bring ozma back with the ability to ascend, so light won’t get what he wants no matter what; either he lets ozma live or he lets him ascend—and the tree’s deeper and older than either brother, so it’s unlikely that light could simply sever that connection once it’s made.

but again: how janky was this, really?

because ozma did very much end up in light’s afterlife… and there’s also the like-minded soul who becomes him, in every generation. two souls becoming one becoming two over and over and over again. he reincarnates, but his memories stay with him. he reincarnates, but in a manner that ensures he is never alone. (which really seems to mean ‘never changes’).

he reincarnates, BUT,

depending on your arithmetic ozma was created twice over or thrice over; killed once by natural causes, once by the god who hates change, and once by the god who loves it. this is a world where souls can explicitly be split in half to create two wholes. and while ancient humans went to light’s afterlife of eternal stasis, modern humans—the ones who rose from the ashes of dark’s annihilation, the god who doesn’t have a problem with ascension—may not be able to reach the tree from remnant but can commune with the tree if they find the ever after.

so like.

did ozma get split while the brothers played tug-of-war over his soul. does light have ozma reincarnating into his own ascension—is the way ozma reincarnates just a hacky attempt to circumvent ascension by continually overwriting the new one with a backup copy of the original. is that what light did to him

until your task is complete, you will reincarnate, but in a manner that ensures you are never alone. if he had said no would he just reincarnate, period.

[ravingbeauties13]

Vintage Burlesque, Sally Rand's Bubble Dance, Remixed w/ New Music

Here we present the star attraction of the 1933-34 Chicago Century of Progress World's Fair. In this clip we see her doing not her famous fan dance but the sensually art deco bubble dance. We have added some special effects to the original film and added an original soundtrack by Captain Zero & the Radioactive Lovers Born Hattie Helen Gould Beck dancer Sally Rand began her career as a chorus dancer at the tender age of thirteen in Kansas City. While still a teenager Sally ran away with a carnival drifting west to Hollywood and the movies. By then Hattie had changed her name to Billy Beck and she found steady if not spectacular work, including some time working in the stock company of the great director Cecil B. Deville who gave Hattie her more famous name. Sally's movie career ended with the advent of the talkies due to her lisp. She went back to dancing which was her first love anyway. A resourceful gal looking for steady work she combined this love for dance with the average man’s desire to behold the female form and began experimenting with various forms of tease dancing. In 1932 while working at the Paramount Club in Chicago Sally developed her fan dance that would bring her fame and fortune.  She was to become the mistresses of appearing to be naked and her big splash came at Chicago's Century of Progress World's Fair held in 1933 -34. For her arrival at the gates of the fair she recreated Lady Godiva's ride that along with her ensuing performance resulted with her being arrested four times in one day. At her trial the judge threw the charges out and in his decision said. "There is no harm and certainly no injury to public morals when the human body is exposed, some people probably would want to put pants on a horse. . . . When I go to the fair, I go to see the exhibits and perhaps to enjoy a little beer.  As far as I'm concerned, all these charges are just a lot of old stuff to me.  Case dismissed for want of equity." -- Superior Judge Joseph B. David - July 19, 1933 Even after the charges were dropped powerful forces sought to keep her from performing but her popularity was so great that they couldn't stop her. Wnen the fair reopened in 1934 she   prsented the dance featured in this video the less risqué bubble dance.   Sally did more road work for a few years before returning  to southern California.  There she briefly returned to the movies before moving to San Francisco. In 1939 she presented "Sally Rand's Nude Ranch" at the Golden Gate Exposition in San Francisco.  It featured women wearing cowboy hats, gun belts and boots, and little more.  Afterwards she took over The Great American Music Hall and started her own burlesque house and continued to perform for many years.

[yr-bed]

The overlap between the utopian desire and a universal emancipatory project has historically been important for those invested in the philosophical conception of happiness. In a debate going back to Aristotle, those who have claimed to have the key to happiness have argued that it can be categorized in two ways. The first is being happy by inducing temporary hedonistic pleasures; if we define happiness as synonymous with bodily pleasures – no further inquiry is necessary. Happiness, then, is available to practically all of us by simply seeking our favorite recreational substances [...] Of course, the downside of such a hedonistic lifestyle are the immediate life-altering consequences. Perhaps the most poignant example in recent memory is that of actor Philip Seymour Hoffman who unexpectedly died early this year of a mixed drug intoxication. In a portentous interview with the philosopher Simon Critchley months before the actor’s drug overdose, Hoffman himself echoing Momus’ sentiments rejected the notion of happiness as pleasure: "I would definitely say that pleasure is not happiness, because I kill pleasure. . . . I take too much of it and therefore I make it unpleasurable, like too much coffee and you’re miserable. I do that to pleasure often. . . . There is no pleasure that I have not made myself actually sick on."

From "Year Zero: Momus’s UnAmerica Reviewed," Maxi Kim

[tgrailwar]

Tumblr Holy Grail War: Wave ??? - Day ??? (Team Saber)

The dreams of a Servant should be simple. Especially one as storied as Miyamoto Musashi.

Miyamoto Musashi was a lauded swordsman who traveled Japan, fought and won many duels with his skill and wit, developed a grand school, and became known as one of the greatest samurai in history.

The end.

However…

This was not that Miyamoto Musashi.

This is the story about a woman named Musashi that was disowned simply because of her gender, and so she wandered.

And wandered.

…And wandered.

......And wandered.

Wandered plains, mountains, towns and villages, challenged other wanderers, before suddenly slipping between the bounds of reality itself, and yet saw fit to continued her wandering.

Not simply an errant swordsman, but an errant impossibility. By the laws of nature, there was no longer a place to call home. It disappeared once she had left, as eyes beyond stopped observing it.

Sometimes she wandered alone. Sometimes with a friend who was also a 'wanderer' of sorts. But in the end, their paths would diverge.

She was a woman who sought 'zero', without realizing that she was becoming 'nothing' herself.

Simply put…

The Servant Saber. Shinmen Musashi no Kami Fujiwara no Harunobu… does not exist.

Then what does it mean for her to be here? The Throne is eternal, both past and present, so even if this was 'before 'nothing' occured'- she would have no records regardless.

But things that are deleted can be recreated. Copied.

Such is the nature of data.

Perhaps it would be inferior. Perhaps lacking. But not in the ways that truly matter to the eyes of the World. Though even the World would notice such a contradiction, and act accordingly. And so, that contradiction would merely need to be corrected in a favorable manner.

Such a thing could be possibly granted by a wish.

Though to be forewarned- there's no such thing as a 'selfless wish', to the one who presides over this Grail War. It is an inherently impossible concept. All wishes exist to benefit. And those who want to be 'selfless' can never truly imagine what selflessness looks like. Therefore, the only wishes with value are 'selfish'.

Such was told by a voice to the wandering swordsman, sitting between oblivion and nothingness, pieced together by fragmented memories and desires.

Any wish could be granted, as long as the asker could truly picture how it could manifest. Imagine your wish, answer the call, and fight to make it a reality.

'Such is the nature of a Holy Grail War', the voice said. It was not kind. No cheer or joy in it's tone. It simply spoke to speak, offered to offer, and existed to exist.

'Lost Ronin': "Oh, that's all?"

This Servant. This 'recreation', was a coward at her core. A wandering swordmaster with no sense of honor, simply a desire to live. A desire to be. Perhaps in a way that even the 'real' version would consider abhorrent.

'Lost Ronin': "Then… what I would wish for is…"

And so, the wandering Saber answered the Grail's siren song with that one request.

…Despite such a thing being impossible for the one who presided over the Grail War.

[slayerchick303]

I've been thinking about the characters in QAF and how I relate to each of them. It's part of why the show is so great.

●Brian Kinney- I completely agree with his utter contempt for society's expectations of us. I feel the same about his thoughts on marriage (and somewhat on his opinion regarding romantic relationships), but I'm not judgemental about people who disagree with us like he is. I also hate to appear vulnerable. His relationship with blood relatives and found family is also similar to mine. Not to mention, we're both cynical and stubborn. I'm with early Brian: uncredited guest appearances are the only part I want to play in a kid's life. I don't relate to his Ayn Rand worship at all. That's total garbage.

●Justin Taylor- His age gap start was pretty much my experience, too. Though mine was a 13 year gap, and a much more problematic age range (I was 14 and the guy 27). Fortunately, mine only went on for a weekend as he went back to Italy, and I went home from the camp I was at. Thankfully, I couldn't respond to the 2 letters he sent me, so he stopped writing to me. Justin was simultaneously braver and dumber than I was in regards to that. As a disabled person, I also really relate to Justin's disability journey. I have traumatic brain injury, a degenerative neuromuscular disease, etc, so that part of his story really resonates with me. Also, his being especially studious while simultaneously making some wild recreational choices as a teen (mine were early teen years, though). I don't want marriage, children, stables, or a pool, though.

●Emmett Honeycutt- Emmett is the person I aspire to be. I literally named my dog after him. Emmett is such a good man. He's the ultimate defender and champion of people he loves. He refuses to be anyone other than himself, and he supports others in being true to themselves. I identify with his devotion to his friends and his refusal to tolerate people who harm his or other's well-being. If I were given a large inheritance, I'd do the exact same thing that Emmett did with it. I wish I could be as confident and optimistic as Emmett.

●Michael Novotny- I love Michael with my whole heart. I have similar creative interests to Michael. I used to turn a blind eye to people mistreating me like he does. I spent years bending over backward to defend people who would never do it for me. I don't want kids or to get married, though I do love Ben. Ben is superior to David in every single way. I 100% relate to Michael's "nerdy" interests. At least once a week, Hal and I will geek out about comic books/movies. If it's not with me, then Hal does so with someone else. That's pretty much the only thing Hal and Michael have in common. As an aside, a few months ago, I convinced Hal to get an AI to write a new episode of QAF for us when he has time (which knowing his hectic schedule may never happen). If Hal can get me the scripts for every episode, I'll do it myself.

●Ted Schmidt- As much as I want to be Emmett, and I feel like Michael, I know I'm season 1 Ted. I have zero self-esteem. No, less than zero. I have -1,000 self-esteem. My interests and professional ambitions couldn't be further from Ted's, though I do love opera.

●Melanie Marcus- I love Melanie. I share her desire for true justice. Her disgust at hypocrisy is mild in comparison to my own. She doesn't suffer fools and loves fiercely. I'm like her in that I'll defend the rights of someone even if they make my blood boil with anger.

●Lindsey Peterson- I relate to Lindsey's artistic nature and her devotion to lifting up the community. Lindsey also hoping time and time again that she'll be treated well despite all evidence and experience showing her that'll never happen was absolutely me, once upon a time. Thankfully, I've mostly gotten over that. The whole maternal thing I could not relate to less. I have zero desire to have children. Children are fine in small doses, then they can be given back to their parents.

●Debbie Novotny- Everyone deserves a parent like Debbie. I'm like her in that I can be... course and sometimes crass. I enjoy slapping a loved one upside the head to show affection. If you hurt someone I love, I will destroy you. My mouth occasionally gets me in trouble. I'll say, "I told you so to someone's face." I don't know how she has the energy to do everything she does though. She's a true hero and mom to everyone in the community.

I'd love to see how all of you feel, too. How do you relate to each of these characters? Are there other QAF characters that you think should be on this list? Are there any people you can't relate to at all?

[awideplace]

Hi love, has it always been easy to maintain a healthy weight?

Hi, this is an interesting question. I think so, but it's because of how I view food and exercise.

I don't diet per se or weigh myself. I enjoy food and flavor and don't deny myself something. I don't count calories, but I do make wise choices with food overall. I desire to eat a largely vegetable-filled, plant-based, some animal protein based diet. But I'm also at liberty to eat what I want- I generally don't eat a lot of processed food. I think I do have good self-control, but I also try to hold things loosely in the sense of diet because the more we zero-in and fixate on things I think it's easy to get obsessive or critical. I try to hold things loosely and eat what I want, but care for my body in what I eat. I enjoy food very much, it's a pleasure in life.

As for exercise, I go through bouts of being a gym member, but my favorite thing to do is walk/hike in nature. I like being outdoors for so many reasons physically, mentally, spiritually (in God's creation).

So I would say I don't "struggle" with my weight, I've been consistent most of my adult life, I eat food from nature largely, and being outdoors is my recreational space.