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losers-clvb · 3 months ago

Text

talk too much // soldier boy

pairing: soldier boy x female!reader

summary: sometimes you talk too much.

content: yapper reader, talk of sex because this is ben we're talking about, old man coded ben, age gap kind of mentioned but you could ignore it, slight ooc ben maybe, fluff

word count: 1k

note: this fits into the universe with the reader from "it will come back" but could definitely be read on its own. this is inspired by the song "talk too much" by queen renee rapp and myself because i am a yapper by nature.

masterlist

----

You were making that face again. The one you made when you were having a silent conversation with yourself, or when you were listening to those smut audiobooks you seemed to love so much. Taking in your lack of headphones, Ben went for the former option.

You and Ben had been having a normal -- or as normal as you could possibly get with an over one-hundred year old supe -- morning, complete with fresh-brewed coffee and omelets made by you. When he had swiped up the morning paper you had brought in for him, you knew he wanted to be left alone to read the headlines. Well, left alone with the occasion scoff of “fuckin’ pussies” at a particularly progressive story.

You were happy to sit next to him and read along. You had gotten comfortable being in his presence after the many months together. You were something of a couple, though it had never been said out loud by either of you. You both just eased into it.

Somewhere between a story on the local shelter hosting a bake sale and a murderer at large you had zoned off, eyes floating to the floor. You were thinking too much again.

Ben watched you out of the corner of his eyes, pursing his lips when you made a face of disgust. It was quickly replaced with a pout and your eyes narrowed. Okay, enough of this. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“What’s on your mind, doll?” Ben asked, pulling the newspaper taut to keep it from folding over. You shot your attention to him, looking up at him with wide eyes that told him you knew you had been caught.

“Nothing.” You answered quickly, nestling into his side. You hoped this would distract him, make him think more about your hand brushing against his bicep rather than your ability to overthink.

“You were obviously thinkin’ about something.” He argued, squinting his eyes at a black-and-white picture of a giraffe. You scrunched your nose at him and he was tempted to kiss the pout off your face.

“How do you know I was thinking? Maybe I was just staring at the wall.” You defended. It was a weak argument. Ben had gotten to know you too well, much more than you had gotten to know him, thanks to your near constant flow of words to him. You just liked talking and most times he was happy to listen.

“That mind’s always running, sweetheart.” He smirked and tapped a finger on the side of your head. You tried to duck away, but the action only resulted in your head bumping against his shoulder.

“It is not. I can have an empty brain.” You knew it was a lie. Even when you were sleeping you were still thinking of something.

“Only time it’s empty is when I get you all cockdrunk. Now,” Ben raised his eyebrows, “what were you thinking about?”

You would have argued back, but you knew it was true. He knew all the right buttons to push to get you all but babbling nonsense at him while he fucked you. You dropped your eyes to the table.

“Well,” you started, stalling, “I was trying to figure out if I like you.” You realized exactly what you had said after it came out, your mouth running faster than your brain. You whipped your head back to look at him. He was giving you a confused look and you felt the need to explain yourself.

“Not that I don’t like you. I just don’t know if I like like you. Well, I do like like you, but maybe I could like like like you, you know?” You sputtered out. Ben opened his mouth to talk, but you beat him to it.

“No, you probably don’t. Did people talk like this in the forties? Or wait, the eighties? What time are you from? Oh my gosh, you’re old. What would people think about us together?”

Then you suddenly looked horrified.

“What would my mother think about us?” You quickly moved into contemplation. “I mean, I don’t care too much what she thinks. She can be a bitch sometimes.” Immediate regret.

“Not a bitch!” You blurted out. “She’s not a bitch!” You took in a steadying breath. “I love my mother, she just can just ask too many questions sometimes. But I guess that’s better than her being dead.” Your face morphed into sadness.

“I don’t want my mother to die. I can’t live without her.” You thought about what you said and decided it made you seem co-dependant on her. “Well, I can, but I don’t want to.” That was when you caught Ben’s amused look. You frowned.

“Do I talk too much?” You asked, though the answer was clear. Ben opened his mouth, again, but, again, you cut him off.

“Actually, don't answer that. I don’t know if I could handle the answer.” You cringed at the childish tone of your words. “I mean, I could handle it, because I’m an adult. But you know that. Of course you know that. We do adult things all the time. Not that we only do adult things, but-,”

Ben decided to put you out of your misery. He grabbed at your face, squishing your cheeks together with one hand to prevent you from speaking any more. You looked at him with those wide, baby deer eyes he loved so much.

“You don’t talk too much.” He said calmly and placed a kiss right on your lips. He hoped that would be the end of it and he could get back to his paper. You smiled gratefully when he let go of your face and cuddled back into him.

“Thank you, Ben.”

Unfortunately, that inspired a new spill of words.

“Wait, do you like Ben or Soldier Boy better? I know Ben was your name from before, but most people call you Soldier Boy. Of course, I’m not most people, but what do you like more?”

“Oh God,” you breathed out, “I should have asked months ago. What if I’ve been using the wrong name this whole time? You probably hate me now.”

Ben sighed and let you ramble on. You would tire yourself out eventually.

#x reader #the boys #soldier boy #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy fanfic #soldier boy x you #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy x female reader #the boys fanfic #jensen ackles #soldier boy fluff

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mostlysignssomeportents · 4 months ago

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Defense (of the internet) (from billionaires) in depth

Picks and Shovels is a new, standalone technothriller starring Marty Hench, my two-fisted, hard-fighting, tech-scam-busting forensic accountant. You can pre-order it on my latest Kickstarter, which features a brilliant audiobook read by Wil Wheaton.

The only way to truly billionaire-proof the internet is to a) abolish billionaires and b) abolish the system that allows people to become billionaires. Short of that, any levees we build will need constant tending, reinforcement, and re-evaluation.

That's normal. No security measure (including billionaire-proofing the internet) is a "set and forget" affair. Any time you want something and someone else wants the opposite, you are stuck in an endless game of attack and defense. The measures that block your adversary today will only work until your adversary changes tactics to circumvent your defenses.

For example, mining all the links on the internet to find non-spam sites worked brilliantly for Google, because until Pagerank, there were zero reasons for spammers to get links to point to their sites. Once Google became the dominant way of finding things on the internet, spammers invented the linkfarm. This principle can be summed up as "Show me a ten-foot wall and I'll show you an eleven-foot ladder."

Security designers address this with something called "defense in depth": that's a series of overlapping defenses that are meant to correct for one another's weaknesses. Your bank might use a password, a 2FA code, and – for extremely high-stakes transactions – a series of biographical questions posed by a human customer service over a telephone line.

I've written extensively about defending a new, good internet from billionaire enshittifiers. For example, in this post, I described how Bluesky could be made enshittification-resistant with the use of "Ulysses Pacts" – self-imposed, binding restrictions on enshittification:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/02/ulysses-pact/#tie-yourself-to-a-federated-mast

A classic example of a Ulysses Pact is "throwing away the Oreos when you go on a diet." Now, it doesn't take a lot of work to devise a countermeasure your future, Oreo-craving self can take to defeat this measure: just drive to the grocery store and buy more Oreos. This even works at 2AM, provided you live within driving distance of an all-night grocer.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't throw away those Oreos. Depending on how strong your Oreo craving is, even a little friction can help you resist the temptation to ruin your diet. We often do bad things because of momentary impulses that fade quickly, and simply airgapping the connection between thought and deed works surprisingly well in many instances.

This is why places with fewer guns have fewer suicides of all kinds: there are plenty of ways to kill yourself, but none are quite so quick and reliable as a gun. People in the grips of a suicidal impulse who don't have guns have more chances to let the impulse pass (this is also why gun control leads to fewer all-cause homicides). So just because a measure is imperfect, that doesn't make it worthless.

If you're trying to give up drinking, you throw away all your booze, but you also go to meetings, and you get a sponsor who can help you out with a 2AM phone call. You might even put a breathalyzer on your car's ignition system. None of these are impossible to defeat (you can get an Uber to the liquor store, after all), but they all create friction between the thing you want, and the thing your adversary (your addiction) is trying to get. They strengthen the hand of you as defender of the sober status quo, against the attacker who wants you to relapse.

Critically, all these defensive measures also buy you space and time that you can use to organize and deploy more defenses. Maybe the long Uber ride to the liquor store gives you enough time to think about your actions so you call your sponsor from the parking lot. Defense is useful even when it only slows your adversary, rather than stopping your adversary in their tracks.

Scaling up from personal defense to societal-scale security considerations, it's useful to think of this as a battle with four fronts: code (what is technically im/possible?), law (what is il/legal?), norms (what is socially un/acceptable?) and markets (what is un/profitable?). This framework was first raised a quarter-century ago, in Larry Lessig's Code and Other Laws of Cyberspace:

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Code_And_Other_Laws_of_Cyberspace_Version_2_0.pdf

Lessig laid out these four forces as four angles of attack that challengers to the status quo should plan their strategy around. If you want to liberalize copyright, you can try norms (the "Free Mickey" campaign), laws (the Eldred v. Ashcroft Supreme Court case), code (machine-readable Creative Commons licenses) and markets (open access/free software businesses). Each one of these helps the other – for example, if lots of people believe in copyright reform (norms), more of them will back a Humble Bundle for open access materials (markets), and more lawmakers will be interested in changing copyright statutes (law), and more hackers will see reason to do cool things with CC licenses, like search engines (code).

But the four forces aren't just for attackers seeking to disrupt the status quo – they're just as important for defenders looking to create and sustain a new status quo. Figuring out how to "lock a system open" is very different from figuring out how to "force a system open." But they're both campaigns waged with code, law, norms and markets.

We're living through a key moment in enshittification history. Millions of people have become dissatisfied with legacy social media companies run by despicable, fascism-friendly billionaires like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg and are ready to leave, despite the costs (losing contact with friends who stay behind). While many of them are moving to group chats and private Discord servers,tens of millions have moved to new social media platforms that advertise (though they don't necessarily deliver) decentralization: Mastodon (and the fediverse) and Bluesky (and the atmosphere).

Decentralization is itself a defensive countermeasure (code). When a service has diffuse power, it's harder for any one person to take it over. Federation adds another defensive layer, because users who don't like the way one server is run can move to another server, with varying degrees of data- and identity-portability. That makes it harder for server owners to squeeze users to make money (markets), and gives them an out if server owners try it anyway.

Federation with decentralization is my favorite anti-enshittification defense. It's powerful as hell. It's the main reason I endorse Free Our Feeds, an effort to (among other things) build more Bluesky servers to decrease the centralization and give users dissatisfied with Bluesky management an alternative:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/20/capitalist-unrealism/#praxis

That said, decentralization and federation are not perfect, set-and-forget defenses. Take email – the oldest, most successful federated system of them all. Email is nominally decentralized, but most email traffic goes through a handful of extremely large servers run by a cartel of companies (Google, Apple, Microsoft, and a few ISPs). These companies collude (or, more charitably, coordinate) to block email from non-cartel companies, in the name of fighting spam. This makes running your own mail server so hard that it is nearly impossible (that is, if you care about people actually receiving the email you send them):

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/10/dead-letters/

What's interesting about enshittified email is that it didn't start with corporate takeover: it started with volunteer-maintained blocklists of untrustworthy servers that most email operators subscribed to, defederating from any server that appeared on the list. These blocklists of bad servers were opaque (often, their maintainers would operate anonymously, citing the threat of retaliation from criminal scammers whose servers appeared on the list). They had little or no appeal process, and few or no objective criteria for inclusion (you could be blocklisted for how your email server was configured, even if no one was using it to send spam). All of this set up the conditions to favor large email servers, and also had the effect of immunizing these large servers from appearing on blocklists. I mean, once three quarters of the internet is on Gmail, no one is going to block email from Gmail, even if a ton of spam is sent using its servers.

The lesson of email doesn't mean email is bad, nor does it mean decentralization and federation are useless. It doesn't even mean that blocklists of bad servers are evil. It just means that federation and decentralization are imperfect and insufficient defenses against enshittification, and that blocklists are useful, but very dangerous. It means that we should strive to keep our systems federated and decentralized, and watch our blocklists very carefully, and not rely on any of this as the only defense against enshittification.

Likewise, both Mastodon and Bluesky are built on free/open code and standards. That means that anyone can fork them, fix them or mod them. What's more, the licenses involved are irrevocable, making them very effective Ulysses Pacts. No one – not a CEO, not a VC investor, not a court or a blackmailer – can order someone to make their GPL code proprietary. The license is perpetual and irrevocable, and that's that.

Free/open licenses are excellent Ulysses Pacts and great code-related defenses against enshittification, but they, too, are imperfect and insufficient. Google, Facebook, Amazon, Apple and Microsoft have all figured out how to enshittify services that are built on free/open code:

https://mako.cc/copyrighteous/libreplanet-2018-keynote

And then there are all the companies that use free/open code and defeat the freedom and openness by simply violating the license, on the grounds that a decentralized, federated development community can't figure out who has standing to sue, and also can't afford to pay for the lawyers to do so:

https://sfconservancy.org/news/2022/may/16/vizio-remand-win/

That's not to say that code-based antienshittification measures are pointless – only to say that they need other measures to backstop them, as defense in depth. Let's talk about law, then. Both Mastodon and Bluesky are governed by legal entities that are, nominally, organized by charters that oblige them to eschew enshittification and be responsive to their users (Bluesky is a B-corp, Mastodon's code is overseen by a US nonprofit).

These structures are very important. I've been a volunteer board member for several co-ops and nonprofits (I was even once a volunteer for a nonprofit co-op!) and I'm familiar with the role that good governance can play in defending a project from internal and external pressures to betray its mission. That means I'm also familiar with the limits of these governance measures.

Take nonprofits: nominally, nonprofits are legally bound to serve their charitable purpose, and technically, stakeholders have legal recourse if they stray from this. But you don't have to look far to find nonprofits that have violated their charter and gotten away with it. Take the Nature Conservancy, which has become a key player in the market for fake "carbon offsets" that are used to justify everything from fossil fuel extraction to SUV manufacture:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/12/fairy-use-tale/#greenwashing

Or think of ISOC, who get tens of millions of dollars in free money every year from their stewardship of the .ORG registry, but who decided to hand over control of the nonprofits' TLD of choice to a shadowy cabal of hedge-fund billionaires:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/12/how-we-saved-org-2020-review

Co-ops, too, are powerful but wildly imperfect. REI is a member co-op that does lots of great things…and also busts unions:

https://prismreports.org/2024/07/17/rei-workers-unionizing-fighting-for-agreemment/

But REI is a paragon of social virtue compared to its Canadian equivalent, Mountain Equipment Coop, whose board was taken over by corrupt assholes who then sold the whole thing to a US private equity fund and change the name to "MEC":

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/16/spike-lee-joint/#casse-le-mec

B-corps are far from perfect, too: while they are nominally required to serve a positive social purpose, in practice, they can violate that purpose with impunity, whether that through greenwashing:

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20240202-has-b-corp-certification-turned-into-corporate-greenwashing

Or Kickstarter insiders taking a $100m bribe to help Andreesen-Horowitz do a crypto pump-and-dump:

https://fortune.com/crypto/2024/03/11/kickstarter-blockchain-a16z-crypto-secret-investment-chris-dixon/

None of this is to claim that B-corps, co-ops, and nonprofits are useless. Maybe we should just give up on organization altogether and have some kind of adhocracy? If you're thinking this will help, then you need to read Jo Freeman's "The Tyranny of Structurelessness" and learn how a "leaderless" group is actually led by its least scrupulous, most Machiavellian schemers:

https://www.jofreeman.com/joreen/tyranny.htm

At this point, you might be mentally designing a new corporate structure, one that's designed to correct for both the tyranny of structurelessness and the brittleness of co-ops, nonprofits and B-corps. Please don't do this. Rolling your own corporate structure is like rolling your own cryptography or your own free software license. It always ends in tears:

https://www.reuters.com/technology/artificial-intelligence/openai-remove-non-profit-control-give-sam-altman-equity-sources-say-2024-09-25/

I like co-ops, nonprofits and B-corps. They're powerful – but insufficient – weapons against enshittification. They need to be backstopped by other measures, like norms. Normative measures are very powerful! Of course, mass revolts of angry users don't always keep companies from enshittifying:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2023/dec/30/reddit-moderator-protest-communities-social-media

But sometimes they do. The C-suite of Unity was shown the door after enshittifying their flagship product:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/10/10/23911338/unity-ceo-steps-down-developers-react

As was the enshittifying CEO of Sonos:

https://www.theverge.com/2025/1/13/24342179/sonos-ceo-patrick-spence-resignation-reason-app

And of course, these defensive measures reinforce one another. The public outcry against the .ORG selloff (norms) led to California's Attorney General stepping in (law), and after that, we more-or-less romped to victory:

https://www.theregister.com/2020/04/17/icann_california_org_sale_delay/

Markets are the final antienshittificatory force. If a social network is designed to be surveillance-resistant, it will be (very) hard to implement behavioral surveillance advertising. If a network is designed to support a many clients, it will be easy to implement an ad-blocker. Both factors make advertising-based businesses very unattractive to individual server operators, spammers, and VCs who back companies that operate elements of a federated server.

Same goes for systems that allow users to control the recommendations and other algorithmic aspects of their feeds (including switching these off altogether). The fact that Tiktok's users overwhelmingly use an algorithmic feed that they have no way to control or even understand is an anti-Ulysses Pact, an irresistible temptation for Tiktok to enshittify itself:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

By contrast, it's much harder to pull those shenanigans with services that technologically devolve control over recommendations (code), making it less profitable to even try to attempt this (markets). And of course, if users refuse to tolerate this kind of thing (norms) and can hop to other servers (code), then any system that pulls that nonsense will lose lots of users and go broke (markets).

This defense-in-depth approach to decentralized social media pushes us to analyze both Mastodon and Bluesky through a tactical lens – to identify the weak parts in the defenses of each and shore them up.

Take Free Our Feeds and its attempt to stand up more Bluesky servers. This addresses one of the serious technical deficiencies in Bluesky (the lack of federation), and if lots of Bluesky users try it out, it will normalize the idea that Bluesky is a constellation of independently managed servers (norms). It also creates Bluesky alternatives with radically different commercial imperatives (markets), because the main Bluesky server is backed by venture capitalists, who are notorious for their enshittifying impulses.

But security isn't static – a tactic that works today won't work tomorrow if your adversary can figure out a way around it. Bluesky is a B-corp with an excellent board with some names I have profound trust for, but B-corps can abandon their public benefit purpose, and boards can be fired (and also even people you trust can talk themselves into doing stupid and wicked things, see .ORG).

If millions of Bluesky users flock to a rival service, one run by a nonprofit (markets), Bluesky's investors might be tempted to sever the link between Bluesky and that new server (code). That's what Facebook and Apple did to XMPP, an interoperable, federated messaging system that used to connect Apple users, Facebook users, and users of many other servers. They did this for commercial reasons (markets), to trap and lock in their users (code), and they got away with it because not enough users were outraged by this (norms) that they could get away with it.

When Bluesky's VCs fire the CEO, kick people like Mike Masnick off its board, and then defederate from Free Our Feeds' server, how do we make that more like Sonos or Unity (where the corporation capitulated to its users), and not like Reddit (where the user revolt was crushed)?

With social media, it's a numbers game. Social media grows by network effects: the more users there are in a system, the more valuable it is. It's not merely imperative to create alternative Bluesky servers, it's imperative to make them populous enough that cutting them off from the first Bluesky server will inflict more pain on the company than it inflicts on those other users. That's not a guarantee that Bluesky's future, enshittification-bent management won't go ahead and do it anyway, but it does increase the chances that if they press on, their users will take the hit to defect to free/open servers.

Bluesky has other problems besides its centralization, of course. The reason Bluesky is so centralized is that it's really expensive to run an alternative Bluesky server that provides a home for users who have left the main server (a "relay" in Bluesky-ese). Partly this is down to tooling: because no one has done it, Free Our Feeds will have to invent a lot of stuff to get that server up and running, but people who come later will benefit from whatever Free Our Feeds develops along the way.

But mostly, this isn't a tooling problem – it's an architecture problem. The way that Bluesky is structured demands a lot more of relays than Mastodon demands of "instances" (a loose Fediverse analog to relays):

https://www.techdirt.com/2025/01/21/the-technological-poison-pill-how-atprotocol-encourages-competition-resists-evil-billionaires-lock-in-enshittification/#comment-4253477

This is a code problem, and it's a hard one, but it's not insurmountable. The history of networked tools is the history of developers figuring out how to break apart large, monolithic, expensive services in cheaper, smaller, easier to develop. In other words, our defense in depth of Bluesky militates for more than one project – not just a "Free Our Feeds" but also a software development project to make it easier for anyone to free those feeds.

Which raises some important questions, the biggest being "Why bother?" After all, there's already a perfectly good Fediverse that could sure use the money and effort that Free Our Feeds is proposing to put into Bluesky. My main answer here is that the point of disenshittification is an enshittification-free internet, not a better Mastodon:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/20/capitalist-unrealism/#praxis

We want to set Bluesky users free because the problem with Bluesky isn't its users, it's the fact that there's no fire-exits those users can avail themselves of if Bluesky's VCs set it on fire:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/12/14/fire-exits/#graceful-failure-modes

But there's another good reason to do this, one that involves people who have no interest in using Bluesky: even if you don't want to use a better Bluesky, you likely have very good reasons to reach Bluesky users. Maybe you want them to help you organize against enshittification! Or maybe you just want to operate a real-world venue where people can gather and have a great time and support performers, and right now you're stuck advertising on Facebook and Instagram, and you don't want to end up being forced to use an enshittified, fire-exit-free Bluesky in the future:

https://www.dnalounge.com/backstage/log/2025/01/13.html

Of course, there's plenty of reasons to want to make Mastodon better. Many of Mastodon's features are absurdly primitive – the lack of threading support and quote-boosting sucks, and the supposedly opt-in system-wide search doesn't work, even if you opt in. Masto could sure use some of the money that Free Our Feeds is asking for to spruce up Bluesky.

This is true, but also irrelevant. Mastodon is stuck at around a million active users, while Bluesky has twenty times that amount. Crowdfunding a couple dollars per user to pursue software development is a reasonable goal, but raising twenty times that much is a lot harder:

https://mastodon-analytics.com/

The money being raised for Free Our Feeds isn't money that had been earmarked for Mastodon development, nor will abandoning Free Our Feeds redirect those funds to Mastodon development.

Which isn't to say that we shouldn't chip in to fund Mastodon development. I donated to the Kickstarter for Pixelfed, a Fediverse Insta replacement that has Meta so scared that they'll suspend your account if you even mention it:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/pixelfed/pixelfed-foundation-2024-real-ethical-social-networks

Adding Insta-like features to Mastodon is great. Fixing search, quoting, and threading would be great, too. We probably need some kind of governance efforts to keep volunteer-run, good faith defederation blocklists from exhibiting the same dynamics that email went through during the spam wars. There's some Bluesky features I'd love to see on Mastodon, like composable moderation and user-controlled, user-tunable recommendations. We also probably need some kind of adversarial press that closely monitors the governance structure for the Mastodon codebase and reports on process in standardization (I cannot overstate how much fuckery can take place within standards bodies, under cover of a nigh-impermeable shield of boringness).

Breaking Bluesky open is a priority. Keeping Mastodon open is a priority. But neither of these are goals unto themselves. The point is to set people free, not set technology free. Willie Sutton robbed banks because "that's where the money is." Right now, I'm interested in anti-enshittification measures for Bluesky because "that's where the people are."

Check out my Kickstarter to pre-order copies of my next novel, Picks and Shovels!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/01/23/defense-in-depth/#self-marginalization

Image: Mike Baird (modified) https://flickr.com/photos/mikebaird/2354116406

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

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tinycoffeeroom · 1 year ago

Text

farm love | italian bach

face claim: none ♡

request: here !

requested: Could I request an Italian Bach imagine inspired by Arthur’s vlog to Jezza Clarksons farm?? Maybe on that trip or maybe they just go on a cute little remote trip in the country farm? In their own private cabin (maybe a hot tub on the deck?👀) I feel like Bach is always a great bf but when he’s with friends he’s in his comedy/entertaining mindset so it’s subtle sweet gestures whereas when it’s just them he’s super clingy��and boldly romantic

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

📍 Cotswolds

👤 georgeclarkeey, arthurtv liked by y/nstagram, arthurtv and 298,017 others

italianbach me and my 2 boyfriends were invited down to the lovely Diddly Squat Farm to experience farm life and preview #/ClarksonsFarm season 3! Huge thank you to primevideouk for the invite!

y/nstagram and where are my pic creds? ↳ italianbach sorry who are you? ↳ y/nstagram oh, you're sleeping in one of the other huts tonight ↳ italianbach babe no george's snoring will interrupt my beauty sleep :(((( ↳ y/nstagram too bad didnt ask xx ↳ italianbach now look what you've done georgeclarkeey arthurtv ↳ georgeclarkeey wtf did we do?????? ↳ italianbach idk be sexy or something?

fan bach not even posting his gf but has time to post these two muppets

fan we want y/n!!!!!! ♥️ y/nstagram

fan george please give me a chance

fan arthur wrapping his arms around his two little omegas, we love a true alpha ↳ arthurtv what the fuck ↳ georgeclarkeey can't tell if i'm offended by being called an omega... ↳ italianbach i am?? we all know i'm a beta!!

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

You were surprised to have been invited along to the Clarkson's Farm premiere alongside Arthur, George and Isaac. You didn't really have a following, mostly people coming from Isaac's constant posts about you to see who his girlfriend was.

The coach ride there had certainly been... something. Arthur annoyed the others by vlogging the entire thing, constantly asking Isaac and George to repeat their jokes so he could catch it on camera and having to redo shot after shot when the footage came out shaky or his finger had been covering the mic at the bottom of his phone.

You'd chosen to sit behind the group of lads, plugging your headphones in to play a small town farmer romance audiobook. If you're going to be subjected to dirt and the trio for the weekend, you were going to take advantage and daydream about a buff farmer sweeping you off your feet.

Isaac made sure to keep an eye on you, well aware that you were too engrossed in your audiobook to notice him. Knowing you were slightly camera shy as well, often choosing to be behind the lens and film his tiktoks, he chose to text you instead of drawing attention to you, conscious of the fact that Arthur could whip out his phone for another vlog clip at any moment.

Midway through the first meeting of the MC and the strong, beefy farmer, your phone lit up. At the top of the screen, you saw a few Instagram notifications and two texts from your boyfriend.

Isaac <3 You ok babe? x We should be stopping at Oxford services in about 20 minutes x

Looking up at your boyfriend, his attention was half on you and half on George who was, once again, jokingly shouting at Arthur who had asked him to repeat himself for the 20th time since you'd stepped onto the coach. Smiling briefly at the trio, you looked back down at your phone to reply.

My Love <3 I'm good angel xx May nip in and grab a sandwich or something, I'm kinda hungry :( x

Two seconds after the read receipt appeared beneath your message, a hand thrust a packet of Malteasers between the seat gaps. Grabbing the packet from your boyfriend, you sent him a grateful smile, quickly tucking into the chocolate.

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After a day of trekking back and forth across farm land, cudding cute little piglets and being stuffed full of the most gorgeous food and wine Clarkson's Farm had to offer, you and Isaac say goodbye to George and Arthur, waving them off as you walk up the little path to your cabin.

Despite it being later on in the day, the sun was still shining thanks to the British summertime. You immediately open your suitcase, grabbing a bikini and swapping your muddy tracksuit bottoms and band top you'd stolen from Isaac at some point. Isaac catches onto your thinking, also grabbing some trunks from his suitcase and changing into them.

You grab the bottle of champagne gifted by Prime Video and open the back patio doors which lead to small set of patio chair and a large hot tub.

Whilst Isaac double checks that the front door is locked, you slide into the water, sighing as the warmth soothes your aching muscles. It had been a while since you had spent this long on your feet and the last time you checked your watch, you'd done 35,000 steps.

Closing your eyes, you allow yourself a moment of silence, taking in the faraway bleats of the sheep in the meadow opposite your cabin. A warm breeze flows through the air, making a few stray hairs on your face sway gently.

You hear the doors behind you open and close and an affronted noise comes from your boyfriend. Cracking one eye open, you look back to see him frowning at you in the hot tub.

"What's up, babe?" You already know, but it's sweet to see how clingy Isaac gets when it's just the two of you.

"Budge up." He queues up a playlist on his phone, connecting it to the outside speaker before stepping into the hot tub, staring at you with a playful pout.

You comply, moving to the side so he can sit in your spot. As he settles down, one arm snakes around your waist, lifting you up and dragging you onto his lap under the water. His other arm joins the first, a strong interlink ensuring you won't go anywhere. Not that you'd want to.

"Better?" Grinning up at him, you slide your hand to rest at the base of his neck, fingers tangling in the chocolate brown curls there.

Isaac hums in lieu of a verbal response, face coming to rest in the curve of your neck. Feather light kisses trace along your skin, starting at the juncture between your neck and shoulder, trailing up to below your ear.

You giggle at the sensation, twirling the strands of hair entangled in your fingers round and round as he playfully nips your ear lobe once before pulling away. You untangle your fingers from his hair, moving your hand to the front to swipe his fringe away slightly to get a good look at him.

His eyes seem to twinkle in the now fading sunlight as he takes a moment to trace over your face. "You're so beautiful."

You can feel the blush rising hot up your neck, splaying out dusty pink on your cheeks. Even after being with him for so long, he still manages to fluster you every time he calls you beautiful. Normally, it's a throwaway comment, something he mentions whilst in the middle of something else. But here, just the two of you in the quiet British countryside, your heart seems to skip a beat, thumping a clumsy rhythm in your chest.

Wrinkling your nose to hide the way the statement made you feel, you run a finger gently across his cheekbone, dragging it softly down his cheek to the corner of his jaw. "And you're handsome."

His eyes are glued to your cheeks, smile widening as the blush only deepens, now crimson pink and burning hot. "I mean it. I know I say it a lot, but right here, in this moment, you're ethereal. I'm just so lucky you finally agreed to date me. Knowing that I get to wake up everyday and see you when you first wake up, that I get to walk into any room you're in and watch your face light up when you see me, and that I get to fall asleep holding you every night... Honestly, I don't think I could ask for a better life."

Your eyes are lined with unshed tears, mouth trembling as words of adoration spill from your boyfriends lips. He's a known secret romantic, you had the anniversary cards filled with paragraph after paragraph of him waxing poetic about you; but to hear it come directly from him, his voice warm and syrup soaked, your heart beat another treacherous beat, yearning to burst out and reach for the man below you.

"Isaac... I love you. So much." Your hand cups his cheek, thumb rubbing lightly over the skin below. "I couldn't ask for a better life either. This is the best relationship I have ever been in, and I have you to thank for that. Thank you for showing me a love I only thought was possible in movies."

Leaning down, you press a soft kiss to his lips, revelling in the delighted hum it pulls from your boyfriend. His arms wrap tighter around you, twisting you in a way so the two of you are chest to chest. He pulls you in deeper, mouth warm and insistent against your own.

When it feels like he's pulled every last bit of breath from your lungs, he pulls away slightly, murmuring a soft "I love you too" as he presses one final kiss to the corner of your mouth.

You move your head to rest in the crook of his neck, enjoying the warmth of the water and your boyfriend's body as the sun sets slowly behind you.

You're almost lulled to sleep, cocooned in the arms of your lover. Isaac's hands move in a repeated rhythm along your back, dragging up and down in slow circles as he hums along to the song playing softly from the speaker in the corner.

Before you can drift off, he mutters just loud enough to be heard over the bubbling of the hot tub. "Wanna go in the pool tomorrow?"

Nuzzling down further into the crook of his neck, you nod your head lightly, already smiling at whatever stupid Tiktok's he'll make you film. "Fuck yeah."

His chest vibrates with laughter in response and you close your eyes, pressing one last kiss to the skin beneath your lips as the two of you welcome the sky full of stars.

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a/n: first italianbach fic ! welcome to my gaggle of men mr isaac xo first of the ac3may hc's and my lil fingies are flying working through the rest !

#italianbach fic #italianbach smau #italianbach social media au #italianbach imagine #italianbach x reader

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ghostofnoir · 4 months ago

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Escaping into a good book has always been a part of who I am. But reading Drarry fanfiction has been my escape and love for a decade now. It’s what I look forward to after a long day. My own secret safe place no matter what’s going on around me. Harry, Draco and every scenario they’re put into have been my constant companions in life on my best and worst days.

Then, this past year, vestibular vertigo took my ability to focus and read for any long or even short periods of time. Dizziness and fear of slipping back into another weeks long episode stole that joy and safe space. Through therapy I’ve found ways to manage and I can do more than I could only a few months ago. However, reading can still be a struggle.

This post wasn’t even supposed to be about me or that, but just a sincere, heartfelt and emotional shout out and thank you to everyone narrating Drarry fics into audiobooks. Who are giving me and others a way to escape into a long, comforting fic again. And are doing it all for free 😭❤️❤️

‘Every New Beginning’ by @fencer-x is one of my comfort fics and Vox Mockina’s narration and voice work is phenomenal. I’ve listened to it so many times I have parts of it memorized. It’s been a life saver and I’m holding onto it white knuckled and on repeat.

Check Vox’s YouTube channel out if you want! And please feel free to send any Drarry audio recs my way🙂

#drarry #harry potter #draco malfoy #harry x draco #hpdm #draco x harry #drarry fic #dizzy girl #audio fanfiction #drarry fanfic #Drarry audio fanfiction

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stormyrainyday · 5 months ago

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apologies this is far from a coherent shower thought but i think it's time we like. decided to detach our identity a bit from the things we do. it's fine to just read. you don't have to be a reader. it's fine to just game. you don't have to be a gamer. you can be those things but i feel like in a quest to find ourselves and open our hearts, especially to others online (because i know, the first thing we do when on a new platform is say hi im [name] i like these things we should talk, i know, i do, my pinned post is literally that), i feel like we forget that we are more than the things we do and even the things we love. we, to borrow words from slay the princess, contain it in our multitudes.

it's a sentiment i've felt for a long time as someone who has been on the internet and in fandom spaces for a good decade now, and like. i find when we hold these things so close that they become us, we become too defensive over them. how many minor fandom disagreements spiral into threats, name calling, doxxing even? i find, especially younger users in fan spaces, tend to take even small differences of opinion and take them personally. saw someone blow up and call people awful names over believing only one person could top in a genshin ship. another left a server i was in because they disliked a popular character, and other (respectfully), decided to share why they did like her. i get that things like rejection sensitivity are a thing, but i think this failure to recognize the self as an entity apart from the things you do and the thoughts you have definitely contribute to this. phenomenon i suppose.

it's genuinely slay the princess that has given me the vocabulary to express and understand this thing i was already thinking. i think, though we are not gods, it's important to understand that we are not things so easily defined. we consist of our thoughts, our actions, our perceptions, our beliefs, and more. even the outside world's perception of us reflects some part of our nature. but not all of it. it's impossible to define oneself in one, two, three words or even an essay.

because like we don't exist in a vacuum. part of our existence is defined in our interactions with others. but not all. never all. there is no one who can truly know you, and we cannot truly know ourselves. our principles bend to the whims of circumstance no matter what we tell ourselves otherwise, so we can't decide what we are or what we would be in a situation for sure, ever. and that's not a bad thing, but if we can't ever truly know ourselves, then how can we assign such great importance to something as superficial as the things we enjoy sometimes?

we are both a constant and the capacity to change. and to take just a handful of things and call it your identity, even subconsciously, is a disservice to the self. in an effort to be seen we break ourselves down into easy (i hate to say it but) marketable pieces.

take being a reader for example. it has always felt like vague slang for booksmart, thoughtful, likely quiet and introverted as well, just as much as it means "i like to read books". theres an aesthetic to it involved, and a whole subculture. do you write in your books? do you keep them museum-fresh quality? do you read smut or classics or high fantasy or satire and what does it say about you? if you say audiobooks aren't real literature, are you signalling to others about quality and sophistication, or are you a pretentious asshole, and ableist to boot? these connotations assigned to such an otherwise benign thing about someone are i think are reflective of the construct of identity and perception. i could go on about it in a way that's more coherent but i, a student, have other things to do right now.

(does being a student make me intelligent? does it impress you to know i study medicine? what if i told you i average Cs in my classes? what if i told you i dislike patient care? what if i told you i'm not here for the money OR to make the world a better place, and that i'm here purely to serve my curiosities about the way the body functions and to absolve my obsessive need to understand just what are we? does this change what you think of me? does it matter? what if you knew the guilt i felt for seeing so much suffering, but still hating patient care enough to worry endlessly about being stuck in it as a career? am i better for it? but i have not acted on this guilt. it is a mere feeling that only i know. knew. is it different now that i've confessed it? does it matter? does any of it change who i am, fundamentally? or am i a thing detached from it all? or. as i like to believe. is it both? your shifting perceptions of me and the way i change shape and form (so much like our beloved princess in slay the princess) in your eyes, they make up me just as much as the soul or the self or whatever other philosophical name you assign to it. at the end of the day, isn't the most important thing that i am just me? both devoid of and constituted of the sum of my parts? what is found in the spaces between my cells? impulses and chemicals. is that me? is it all me? can i ever really know it? and why, why, why define it at all?)

#if you read all of that im sorry i just #needed to express this in some way #and a simple journal entry wasn't doing it #i hate journalling so fucking bad #is there meaning to any of it at all? or is it just irrational and i am wasting my time?#and at the end of the day #who gives a fuck #sorry i think the existential horror of consuming both #slay the princess #and #the stranger #has like compiled itself into an unholy amalgamation in my thoughts #and i think that like #the stranger route #which is achieved by refusing to engage with the princess at all #i think that is fundamental to what i feel about this #when she isn't perceived at all she morphs into an impression of the shifting mound #all her multitudes spiralling together until what you end up perceiving is just #unholy #everything and nothing and terrifying to behold #but even the stranger is a shadow of the whole self because you exist in the context of others #god i love that fucking game #From rain

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tales-of-wocdes · 2 months ago

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Hi! First I wanted to ask: how's writing going? And how have you been doing?

And secondly: I challenge you to treat yourself to something nice today, maybe a favorite food or maybe re watch a good movie or just listen to good music, treat yourself!

Writing is going quite messily and slower than wanted :D

As for me, I will be much better in a few weeks. Currently I have very little time to do work on this. Real life is real busy a the moment, has been since for the entire year so far.... and some of the end of last year. However, there is a real end date in sight, after which I should be able to relax for a bit. I worry that everything written this year is really disjointed but I think that is a problem during editing and proofreading.

I would say about: 27.8 k words (with notes) of C3. I will also admit, I have been writing directly into twine a bit as well, mostly for extremely choice heavy things so those don't have proper word counts yet. I did notice that I think there is a pacing issue, or a repetition issue here, where there are several spots of MC reacting to new people within a short period. I won't know for sure until I have it coded and read thought it but it feels that way. It might need some work once I finally get there.

Then I think there is about 14 k words of interludes in the works to be used later. Maybe, one of them might be a bit... odd. I will need to consider.

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In terms a treat... well. I have recently done something I have not done in a while. Of course, I like reading but I drift in and out on what I read, or do I just listen to audiobooks. Audiobooks are pretty much the constant.

Recently however, I have been going through the new https://cogdemos.ink that mostly replaced dashingdon. Just playing new if:s and replaying old favorites if they are there. It is rather nice :D

#tales of wocdes #the silver protector #interactive fiction #wip #twine game #twine wip #fantasy #interactive novel #twine story #writing

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freedelusionshere · 2 months ago

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The Bear and The Odyssey

I've been listening to the intro to the audiobook that's narrated by Claire Danes. It's really fascinating, it goes into the differences between The Odyssey and the Iliad and focuses a lot on how the female characters in particular are portrayed, and how it was possibly a commentary on the roles of women in that culture and how the Odyssey actually portrays women's thoughts and feelings (I know, the bar is low here) from a culture where we actually know very little about the lives of women.

Several of the ideas made me think of narrative and characterization similarities between this work and The Bear, and in particular Carmy and Syd's relationship, and I wonder if The Bear is a condensed and metaphorical retelling of this story? This is gonna be long, so thanks in advance if you're intrigued enough to get through this.

Odysseus leaves home to fight in the Trojan War (Empire). He wins the war but loses himself. He spends a long time away from home, eventually returning to reclaim his family's legacy (his estate/the restaurant). He finds that a bunch of rivals have moved into his house and have competing interests and are bothering his wife ("Pleasure to meet you sweetheart."). He's in disguise, even though he's famous ("I know who you are.") and he is emotionally distraught at what he finds when he returns home. And even though he's highly skilled and regarded as a hero, he's also aggressive and bombastic and a lot of people don't like him.

His wife Penelope is an equal and a mirror to him in terms of intellect and capability and manages to push away other suitors until her husband finally reveals who he really is to her. She is next-level patient and wise but is at times skeptical about him, and kind of stonewalls him. Penelope, after all, has been the one running the estate the entire time and keeping the rivals at bay. Penelope gets underplayed by scholars while she's a central figure to the story (hmm who else gets this shit treatment by a lot of fans?). Odysseus would literally have nothing without her.

Odysseus is also helped along the entire time by the goddess Athena, who admires him because they are similar as well; he is talented and clever like she is. Athena is also the goddess of war, so they worked in the same industry. Incidentally, she's also the goddess of weavers, which Penelope is extremely skilled at, connecting them in the narrative. Syd is a combination of both Penelope and Athena, who both in turn mirror Odysseus. The side of Syd Carmy really wants to know and have intimacy with versus the distant goddess, although Athena is almost always "with" Odysseus throughout his entire journey and speaks to him and reassures him. Just like Our Mother of Victory (divine guidance/protector), who is also associated with Syd in the narrative.

Odysseus has to go through many trials in order to get back home. He goes through periods of despair and even gets lured away and offered immortality (eternal youth/high school) by Calypso, who tries to make him permanently stuck and prevent him from returning to his wife and home. Claire. (Circe is also in the poem in a similar role to Calypso, to distract Odysseus from returning home, and she has potions and herbs she uses to do it.)

The rivals wanting to move in and take over his property is also reminiscent of Cicero almost from Day 1 wanting to sell The Bear and telling Carmy he now owes him the money he loaned Mikey (shady, where is it written down, LOL). Cicero also comes with the constant undercurrent of possible physical violence and attempting to manipulate or pull strings/leverage people in the background, but ultimately, he wants the restaurant to cash out and probably needs the money now. Carmy essentially tricking/guilting him into giving him even more money than he gave Mikey is an extremely Odysseus move, very much like him tricking Polyphemus the violent cyclops, who has a cave filled with gold and tries to trap Odysseus and his crew there.

The Bear being like the ship and the crew are like the sailors that accompany Odysseus while he tries to find his way back home. Carmy tells Syd she is the captain now in S2. Carmy "goes away"/regresses in S3, leaving Syd to be poached by rival Shapiro who tries to lure her and bring her to his restaurant, taking her from her family, and attempting to persuade her that he will give her everything materially Carmy has not, when really, she is essential to the success of The Bear and it will break up their found family.

Odysseus's father, according to some accounts, was the famous boulder rolling Sisyphus. Who is similar to both the MIA Berzatto dad and Mikey and their futility. His mother was Anticlea, who dies before Odysseus returns home, and he travels to the underworld (the past/death/grief) to speak with the ghost of his mother, who tells him how she grieved herself to death when he was away (Donna resents Carmy leaving home) and issues him a warning about losing his family (family/family vs work family). The other man who is identified as his father is Laertes (some think Anticlea married him after having a child with Sisyphus), who stays away the entire time while Odysseus is gone and only returns after Odysseus has gotten rid of all his rivals. Anticlea also served Artemis in her youth, goddess of the hunt. Donna is associated with leopards in the show, who are opportunistic hunters.

Richie as the swineherd Eumaeus, whose loyalty to Odysseus is tested and represents hospitality, one of the greatest virtues in ancient Greece. Richie's kind of a pig when we first meet him, but like Richie, Eumaeus helps Odysseus reclaim his birthright. Through his loyalty to Carmy, Richie wears suits now and wants to help him reconnect with his wife, Syd, who he considers to be like family. (Eumaeus is also the first person Odysseus meets when he finally returns home.)

The Faks are a stand-in for a Greek Chorus (the Odyssey is an epic poem that was performed). They provide insights and foreshadowing to what is happening during the performance. Neil in particular foreshadows a lot of what will happen and what the audience thinks about the characters, even when it's not true or applied to the wrong person. For example, Neil telling Claire Carmy loves her more than himself, which Claire tells us (the audience) immediately this is obviously not true. Neil then assigns sexist tropes onto their relationship, about Carmy needing to be taken care of by a woman (because his mom was bad at it) and that he'll in turn protect Claire with his "strong arms". This does have a ring of truth, though, because Carmy does love Syd and wants to protect her and take care of her. Syd is the one who has been holding Carmy up with her "strong arms" (that are tired now, LOL) like Penelope held things down for Odysseus waiting for him to finally show up for her.

Poseidon, the god of the Ocean, is Odysseus' chief rival in preventing him from coming home. Water is often featured symbolically in The Bear, with both Syd and Carmy shown staring contemplatively at Lake Michigan. Waiting for their lover to come back home from the war? Other moments show water used in a way to represent cleansing, washing. Odysseus was shipwrecked multiple times on his journey home. Trains are vessels often shown in The Bear, the same way ships and shipwrecks appear in the Odyssey, with Odysseus repeating the same kinds of mistakes multiple times (I need a second chance, a third chance, a fourth chance).

Lastly, the "siren call" of the Michelin Star, depicted in Forever with all the famous chefs cheerfully commiserating about soldiering along at their jobs, similar to Odysseus journeying to the underworld and speaking with the dead. Offering food and drink before meeting with the dead. How he risks eventually sharing in their fate unless he changes his ways and returns "home".

#the bear meta #sydcarmy #The Bear and The Odyssey

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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 3 months ago

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Nice stories with the poly Vees and the tech revolution, I really like the audiobook idea for Alastor.

Could be a separate fic by it's own. Imagine Alastor injured by Adam and in need of more power (to heal) and he decides to expand his reach anonymously beyond just radio.

Alastor launches his own version of Audible (banning AI generated slop) and other services like a free Spotify (cutting into the Vees profit margins by stealing all their audio market monopoly) and the like or military grade communications hardware and software the stuff that doesn't lie and lasts for a long time with no subscription fees. (maybe Alastor was in a war when he was alive, the timeline fits.)

Maybe Alastor had this power all along but the war was traumatising so he decided to ignore all the war orientated facets of his demon form. Or he just fixated on Radio.

Then the Overlord's and the rest of Hell think a new Technology Demon Overlord has arisen and Alastor is a bit too embarrassed to admit to upgrading in any manner no matter the reason. Then there's a fight where Vox reveals the Video, yet it's discovered somehow Alastor is fully healed without angelic aid from a angelic steel wound and proceeds to stomp all three Vees.

Lucifer thinks that's a bit suspicious, Charlie is tearful, The rest are worried and Alastor is still embarrassed.. So without mercy Alastor (because his pride is bigger than his self preservation) throws both caution and Lilith under the bus..

I love the idea of this.

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I think Alastor gains power from the reach of his broadcast, to some extent. Like listening in creates an intangible deal that provides a feedback loop... I assumed that Vox has something similar, as well as Velvette.

Like, the more eyes/ears on, the more engagement, the bigger the boost they get. It's not all a constant shill of different commercials and items to the masses (although that funds it) but the constant attention fuels something.

Could be why when Carmilla didn't care he was gone, and Angel Dust (who didn't die that far behind Al but had no idea who he was despite shared decades in hell), pissed him off. That actually felt like a slap to the face, there's a reason the man was constantly seeking attention...

Not to mention FANS, who kind of give a lot of thought and energy and effort to the people they like following/watching/listening to.

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I have this very specific headcanon that Alastor can mimic anyone's voice with enough time to listen to them. After all, if he can do that with his own voice, and what is vocalisation but each person having access to a set audible range with regional variants.

He can get the tone, no worries thats just manipulating soundwaves, but the inflection and accent takes time. Anyone can talk in a lower or higher pitch, but it's the listening to how others talk and framing his skill around that that sells it.

[Niffty thinks its hilarious to 'talk to herself' and get an answer that's outside her head, so he indulges her on occasion].

It is limited to languages he knows, however. Unless say, someone like Husk was to translate and provide phonetic supports on occasion. I like to think Al learned partial Spanish just to fuck with the moth, and catch Vox off guard. Spite is a fantastic motivational tool.

[I assume that Vox has the similar ability to recreate like, the physical form of a person (we see him do the thing where he creates multiple copies of himself and interacts on screen, how hard would it be to generate a deepfake like that?) but he also needs a bit of info on them to make it anything more complex than a puppet.

Like, think about a 3d model before they give it a proper walk cycle, it can be the most advanced graphics but it doing the wiggle and slide move makes you go... wtf...

When he can pull up feed on you from across Pride's surveillance network, and gets your movements, your gestures, your voice... your expressions. He could do ANYTHING. And I think once that's pointed out to Charlotte and his mini majesty they might need to put restrictions on that.

I assume at least some of his souls are because he blackmailed the FUCK out of them with created films of them doing something embarrassing, betraying someone, confessing to things... and it looks so real that he's also effectively gaslighting them.

Wonder who he got this tactic from? Hmmm?]

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Why bring this up?

Well, the thing is... Al's voice is very recognisable, naturally. But if Al was to make an empire on books / podcasts that he needed to do separate from his normal identity, mostly for anonymity and also because it's sending the money-centric vees into a tailspin, then I have a very specific concept.

He takes the voices of those he hears. Oh, there's no book out there with Angel Dust's Voice (though he considered it for some of the more salacious tomes, because AD's image is Vee property at this time and it would annoy them but he also, hmmm, dislikes the idea of puting the spider in the direct line of fire for this.

Nor Niffty nor the Princess nor Husk, no, that would be too easily traced. He does, however, do an entire angsty half-angel half-demon romance thrillogy in Vagatha's voice and she's still hunting for whoever did that. mostly because the edgy teen tone of the story has left the others with some truly devastating comebacks when she's trying to corral them. Eg. "Can you please just stop making eyes at one another and get to art therapy?" / "Of course, oh deep and brooding queen of the night, we shall 'descend unto the madness of therapeutic intervention, though none shall cease the incessant chaos of our intellect.'" / "I am... going to find whoever used my voice and peel them like a banana." / "Whatever you say, Lady D'Eath de Juggsington" / Former angel screaming.

I mean, he lurks in shadows. How hard would it be to trail someone for a bit OR can his poppets act like a teddy ruckskin thing, where they can copy things heard/said? Like, he has them around in crowded places, in the shadows, and if a voice he might like toutilise goes past, they animate and follow discretely.

And once you master that, taking a voice and using it back (which can fall into Not-Deer and Wendigo territory, and a lot of other mythical creatures he's been compared to...

Well, how hard would it be to twist and blend a few voices, a few different inflection styles to make a new one? He'd think it was QUITE the challenge and the frustration and triumph could stave off boredom for a while.

Can you imagine the uncanny valley of downloading a podcast or audiobook and hearing it in YOUR VOICE? Because that's the one he felt matched the story the best? Or that your voice was the one matched to the character? It would be quite the mindfuck, so Al would think it was hilarious]

So, Hell has a complex concept of ownership of course, and copyright is enforced through Mammon in other rings mostly because he's the only one who cares (because Money) and maybe Satan because the guy likes to swing his big old law abiding dongle around.

How do you think he gets the novels?

I think if the source book was produced through Voxtech, he'd just take it and make a free copy (audio) about it. They could try to copyright strike it all they want, but it would keep popping up...

He could have a side deal with Zestial, who is a gossip-loving hound when it comes to having a secret no one else has and thinks the Vees need to be put in their place, that anything his people publish for an author can be utilised under a certain agreement. Because he tends to publish (and I have no idea what he's overlord of but ive given him all written media) stories, news and books that are even from the hellborn that mammon refuses to deal with or publish for anything more than a 0.000000000000000015% royalty per 20million copies sold so...

They tend to be really excited to have their stuff picked up by the ancient overlord's company. And I wonder if Alastor makes a deal with them through Zestial, because he's always been one for the underdog and the hellborn are literally on the backfoot since birth because of what they are and that hits close to home, that they are fiscally compensated for his use of their works.

Money accumulates over time and over thralls and victories. He rarely uses it for anything more than the occasional boost to the hotel, and hatever interests him... his top tier thralls have emergency cards, but Husk's won't let him get anything alcoholic or associated, and Niffty's prevents her from obtaining flamethrowers or whatever the seven rings that giant vibrating thing was from the Lust Store the other day, mostly for safety reasons.

They can use them for almost anything else as long as they're willing to explain it to Al if he asks. And no Voxtech products. Not even pay per view, he taunted Husk once just to see the man grumble and Angel immediately lighted on that. Helped him escape a conversation getting too close to the core of his side gig... Husk was a drunken sot sometimes, but there was a clever man in there and those eyes saw things, that brain (when not pickled) was formidable for making connections.

Either way, between Zestial, books on his shelf (the classics), what he sneaks out of the hotel library / royal library bc lets be real the wards in there are a joke at this point, the things he steals from Voxtech's supplies, the local newspapers (for the news report podcasts) and the absolute dynamite gossip he gets from Rosie, Zestial and all over hell...

There's a lot of avenues.

He also has a fascinating system set up for receiving scripts for potential podcast ideas. Some are more pedestrian that he would ever consider, and others have merit but could use more pizzazz. He was tempted to even make one that might need to utilise Angel Dust for some of the louder scenes because while Al was no stranger to making sound effects, having to moan indecently for a good eight pages of dialogue and make a sound that was rather like spanking a tub of jelly, was not his forte.

The spider would find it second nature, though.

In any case, he did have a means to be contacted via the webpages and through a sending ritual he'd devised. It ran the letter/package through a number of reviews ffor potential bugs or hidden curses before it reached him.

Vox and Vel are constantly sweeping the net for his content and removing it. It's not hard to remove the more blatant pages, they're decoys anyway... but when other independent sites start putting the content up and being banned... it naturally drives people wild for the products being kept from them.

Of course there'd be a deep web, a deeper web and a We've Struck Crude (Oil) web in the pits of Hell. That's just the people down there, though. And the hellborn rings don't just have to be beholden to VoxTech, they have their own versions of the internet, where the podcasts and stories are rife.

The news, gossip, cooking, murder mystery dramas, reporting on real life killers (because the hellborn love it), discussions of human history up to date (because many down there missed out), the fantasy ones with episodes each month that have the net buzzing, the 'deep dives' (those he usually receives requests for and does independent research for), hells, even New To Hell? Tips and Tricks to not get murdered by Plantlife!

All of this, just as the podcast side.

There's a news hour, too. Often sharing information that's being listed on Vox news and sites, but with more detail or correcting the sillier elements.

Because of course, Alastor is powerful and like Vox when he's in his element (the radiowaves) he can split himself across them to do his thing. Theoretically he can produce up to four separate shows / podcasts / audiobooks at once... if feeling well and at a moderate level of power. The current thing hindering him is this damnable wound, though.

It leaves him exhausted and irritable.

However, having soemthing to do while seemingly debilitated helps. He'd go mad otherwise. And the influx of interest feeds him, literally, with the power to circumvent it's poisonous effects.

Could he theoretically get the immediate help and support of the soppy princess and ask for her father to heal it? Technically yes. Would he rather sleep with every Vee, in a televised special, than do so? Also yes. By which he meant, he'd rather die, thank you very much.

He got a little cocky, or perhaps his exhaustion from the wound isn't helping him make decisions very well, because he accidentally reads one of his classical books in his non-filtered voice one day. Vox IMMEDIATELY questions how the fuck-... because he knows Al.

He KNOWS that's Al's voice. How did this new tech overlord get it? Did they have an alliance? Were they FUCKING?! The TV drives himself made with jealousy, as he is known to do... and confronts Al, releasing the video of Adam near bisecting the guy to all of Hell and starting a fight.

"Who is he? She? Them? You got your ass handed to you so bad you'd sell it to save yourself?" Vox snarls, and Al, with no context is like ?????? 'What on earth are you talking about, you silly little picture box?!'

"Your real voice, I heard that other tech fucker use it... I know you have a partnership, and I wanna know why you went to THAT person and not me? What do they have that I don't? What part of you did you sell for that?!"

And Alastor laughed, growing larger, towering over the Vees. "Oh you insipid little fool you were always so blind to the truth even when it's dangled in front of you..." and his voice shifts between different 'hosts' for the podcasts, and different readers for the audiobooks. "Surprise! Turns out I CAN do your job, and manage it far better than all three of you little fools..."

"Hey, I didn't hear any content that challenged mine..." Val points out, drawing his guns.

"Hmmm, perhaps, but I could always contract that work out. Fascinating how many people are more interesting in listening, compared to watching, depravity..."

"...you can't have any of my bitches!"

"I don't need them, I can use their voices if I wish." He wasn't going to, but he needed the moth angry enough to misfire.

Velvette seemed more amused, "How'd you learn to use a computer there, grandpa?"

"Why it's quite easy, I have no idea why everyone assumes that just because I like a certain aesthetic, I'm ignorant of the whole tech thing. I reprogrammed Vox's circuitry more than once, after fights, so he would heal properly... everything else is far less complicated than technobiological surgery."

"...you also did something to you, I can feel it." Vox snarled. "Your tech is singing out, it's not our brand, where the fuck did you get it? Why now? I would have helped you upgrade if you just joined us..."

"And be part you? HAH! You'd turn it off anytime you were mad with me, and I'd rather not live by anyone's whims, picture box. It's nothing drastic, merely some additionally compatible tech to-... ah but that would be telling. Nothing I couldn't do originally. It merely makes it easier."

"Oh fuck off with that, ciervo, you still got humbled by that idiot angel. This is just bluster..." Valentino grinned.

"I believe the phrase is 'Fs in chat' for your overworked braincells, is it not, Miss Velvette?"

The doll snorts out a laugh before she can muffle it. "Not just a tech upgrade, eh? You learned some slang. None of me followers'll believe it."

"Hey, can we focus? Kill the fucker! He's injured and he's fucking with out profits with all this free shit he's handing out."

"Hmmm, about the only kind of fucking I'd do with you, I'm afraid, Vox."

Explosive transformation to overlord forms and kaiju-esque battle that results in a rather damaged shirt that unfortunately for the Vees, shows an undamaged chest save a faint scar. Although the flash of manly fluffy deer chest results in Vox bluescreening and he's down for the count... but not all of him. Which is terrifying when he's the size off a skyscraper.

"Do you... need to take him somewhere to spare his dignity?" Alastor pauses, pointing. Velvette breaks off a swipe, looks at Vox and groans.

"Why the fuck is he like this?!"

"I've been asking myself for decades..." Alastor said, reaching across the airwave to twine his static with Vox, trying not to shudder, and convinces a subroutine to trigger the shrinking back to regular size. He'd done it a few times when they were friends, only worked if Vox was out or open to it. Unfortunately, he'd worked out how to reverse-engineer the process.

You didn't sleep near Vox. For various reasons.

Val has paused, "Are we still fighting...?"

"I mean, I'm game if you are, my good moth bt I suspect you may need to scrape what dignity the picture box has left off the floor and take him back to your eyesore of a tower. You're more than welcome to try again in future... but if we could schedule it in, that's preferred, I have a number of shows coming to their conclusion and the public may kill you if they don't receive the finales."

Vel and Val are willing to defer, Val carrying Vox out of the place because Vel wants Nothing To Do With That Shit. Exhausted with her weird old men.

Alastor may have suggested they change the tv's name to Viagra, given he seems to be consistently having such a response. Val nearly drops the TV as he whirls in shock to grin at the fact Al has dirty jokes now... it's like opening a library book and being slapped with a fish by the nearest librarian. You just didn't see it coming.

Unfortunately, the hotel inhabitants and half of the city saw the fight and are now aware that the Radio Demon was behind the whole podcasts/audiobooks/news thing...

Some feel it makes sense and are kind of delighted to know where to send their scripts. Others have to write frantic letters about how the FUCK he got their voice, and yet more are stunned the old timey radio guy knows what a computer IS...

"What the fuck, bellhop?" The king asks, tactfully, restoring the front 'lawn' area as best he can from the damage there. Several of the shrubs up the driveway have been annihilated and yes he is mad about it, he planted them by hand with Char Char as a bonding activity last month. "Cute little illusion you got going, but if you really did get whacked with Adam's blade, you'll need my help with that."

He is grinning too much for someone offering aid, already thinking of how to force the demon out for a bit of magical first aid.

"No illusion, your Lowness, it healed with enough feedback from souls engaged in my show..." Alastor replied, gesturing at his damaged shirt. "I'd offer for you to touch but I'm too busy to light the offending skin on fire to burn away the recollection of your grubby little hands."

"Are you KIDDING ME?!" Vaggie is launching at Alastor, and only Charlie tackling the woman saves him from being bodychecked into the pavement. "LADY D'EATH JUGGSINTON THE FIFTH?! YOU COULDN'T HAVE CHOSEN ANY OTHER VOICE FOR THAT SHITSHOW?!"

"Hah, NO. She reminded me of your angstier nature, my dear... it's a compliment."

"I'm going to kill you. With my spear."

"Do try, and I will read the seuel series that the author is churning out as we speak, in your voice also. Or perhaps I could do it in the voice of the lieutenant... Lute was it? The new series is from the perspective of her spurned lover..."

"Al, please. NOT HELPING!" Charlie gritted her teeth.

"Well I kinda liked some of the gossip podcasts... and that one about the Fears or whatever that was. Spooky but fun in a fucked way." Angel volunteers, shrugging. "Vags, unclench... it's pretty cool. I'm kinda disappointed you didn't use me for the new demon erotic novel by Chuck Tingle, tho, Al... it's a masterpiece and I'd be perfect!"

"I... had considered it might be taken out on you by the moth if he assumed you were collaborating with another overlord. And the sound effects required seemed unusually salacious... I usually need to record a sound to use it in future, and where would one even find a container of jelly in this place?"

"...what? Oh... OH no I got ya. I've done erotic podcasts. Fuckin' hilarious seeing people standing around blankly whispering things into a microphone, moaning and then slapping wet towels on surfaces. I can get you some more authentic sounds if ya want, deer daddy..."

"...I'm concerned about what that wording means if I say yes, deer boy, so... we shall negotiate in future. Now Valentino knows who is producing the content he can be certain you are not 'actively involved' as it were."

"You a hugger? Wrong answer, it's happening. Look at us being all good with our feelings and shit..." There really wasn't any arguing with six arms squishing you, and f a vvery quiet bleat of surprise escaped, then he would deny it unto his second death.

"So, why didn't you just say you were hurt? What's the point of all this? You HATE tech stuff." Husk gestured, in general, to all of Al.

"...various reasons. And it was far more amusing to undermind Vox and his little crew this way."

"Then why not tell us..." Husk paused, then grinned. "Wait, you didn't want us to know 'cause you were embarrassed you had to turn to new media methods to heal it yourself, aren't you? Stubborn fucking ass. Well now you've gone and done it... there's a whole new generation of demons and hellborn who like your shit, you gonna just stop it now their engagement or however that works fixed it?"

"I am willing to finish the narratives at their end, but yes. The interest has waned now that I am no longer hindered."

"Al, I'm very disappointed in you."

"Whatever for, Charlotte? The matter is dealt with and at an end."

"No, shut up for a second you're not getting out of this that easily. I mean, I'm disappointed that you thought we... that I wouldn't help, with that, from Adam I mean."

"It wasn't anything I couldn't manage for myself." He shrugged, she really didn't understand how overlords worked, did the poor girl?

"But you shouldn't have HAD to, that's my fucking point!" Charlie yelled, briefly losing her temper and sucking her more demonic aspects back in.

"Duckling, he's not worth losing your temper over... the Overlords are suicidal at the best of times. Just let them get at it... you're just too young to have learned not to care yet. Bambi here could have asked for help with that boo boo at any time, but they won't... none of them would. I'm surprised your little angel didn't sense it, it was as irritating as an alarm going off the whole time..." Lucifer soothed, and got a GlareTM.

"...you knew. You knew one of my friends was potentially dying-"

"Not that bad!" Alastor interjected, and then disccussed the pros/cons of biting Angel's hand when one went over his mouth and another petted his hair. ("Shhh, Smiles... the people with some sorta emotional intelligence are talking...") Okay, he was definitely going to bite him.

"...-and you didn't think to tell me? Or help? Dad?" There was a termulous quaver to that tone that forecast tears. The King was immediately panicked.

"Wait, no, no I mean, yes but... I don't like to heal people without their consent, you know? It's not a good look..."

Charlie sniffed. "I mean, I get that... but if you said something, I could have like, sat on him and talked him into it..."

The sound of a record scratch rent the air. "Nhu ank ooo" muffled from behind Angel's hand as the spider laughed.

Lucifer flicked his attention that way. "Well... I suppose my main question for you, Bambi... is why you went to such trouble to avoid our attention. I know you big tough overlords have no sense of self preservation or care for the lives of others... but this seemed excessive."

Oh deer, the ex-archangel seemed to be... thinking.

That couldn't possibly end well.

"In fact, now the angelic taint-..." he pointedly ignored angel's giggling at the wording, "has passed and I'm focused on you... I'm sensing something else we're going to need to talk about."

Al couldn't stop his ears from going flat. Ah.... fuck.

Lucifer reached out a hand towards Alastor, and Angel actually moved them a step back. "Hey, he don't like touch..." said the man who had just about mummified him. "Surprised he hasn't eaten me yet."

Red eyes regarded him, the hand curled, as if grasping something and tugged as a lilac chain appeared in his grasp running back to the collar on Alastor's throat.

"How do you know my wife, Bambi?"

"...fkk"

"You can say that again, Smiles, what the FUCK?!" Angel gapes, dropping his hand.

"Well, your dear wife wanted someone to keep an eye on Charlotte and was willing to kill a LOT of OVerlords before finding one that she liked for the role." he shrugged. "Quite unfortunate."

"Wha-... don't you fucking lie to me, I'm the Devil himself. Lilly would NEVER-..."

"Yes. She would. And you know it. You may have been in the pits of despair in your little palace, but even you must have seen the bodies of sinners being piled about... she wasn't subtle."

"No... those were-... she was healing them, and it didn't work. Angelic steel..."

"Well, I know medicine can't have been that evolved in Eden but playing 'hokey pokey' with angelic steel isn't exactly known for bringing health and vitality to sinners." Alastor deadpanned.

A chorus of 'you put the knife right in and you take the knife back out, you put the knife back in and you twist it all about... you do the hokey pokey and you turn around... that's what it's all about!' played softly.

"Wait... I kinda... think I sort of remember something like that... but it's all mixed up in my head."

"Yes, she sang to you to muddle your memories when you walked in, once. That was about the moment that most realised how far she was willing to go to get her way..."

"No, you're lying."

"Afraid not."

"What was she even testing for, then? In your sick little game, how does this benefit anyone for my WIFE to-... what? Torture sinners? To make a babysitter for Char Char? She had ME. I'm the strongest thing in hell, nothing gets through me to her..."

"And yet, Adam did, because you were stuck in your own head. Oh don't get pissy, you were trapped for various reasons but its the truth. Lillith was concerned that there would come a time when Charlotte needed guidance and support... and she was willing to take the time to find the right person to safeguard it."

"How though? Nothing you said makes any sense..."

"She wanted someone who had no intentions towards her child, who was also rather resistent to angelic steel... and then she meddled to see how that could be fortified. Simple, really. Its fascinating, but the more angelic steel you survive, the harder it is for it to kill you outright."

Charlie looked like she might throw up.

"H-how many died for me?"

"Oh don't worry dear, it was only a handful. there were others she wiped the memories of and returned to their roles... she needed the infrastructure of Pride to remain stable enough to support your endeavours in future."

"But... what about you?"

"Nothing more or less than what others have done." He shrugs. "Do stop your pity party, it won't change the past and the blame is not yours."

"What exactly does she want you to do? The orders on here are obscured, that shouldn't be possible, I'm the Devil!"

"As you keep repeating, yes, indeed you are tiny one. But she merely required that," and here Lillith's voice emanated, taking the King and Princess out at the knees. "You will protect Charlotte, keep her safe and guide her to the best of your abilities, she has her father's ideals and heart, it will get her killed if someone more realistic doesn't step in. You will not divulge the secret of angelic steel to her, or raise arms against Heaven personally. She can't learn of that yet. And you must keep my foolish ex-husband from Charlotte... the two of them together will draw Heaven's attention. Oh, and Alastor... see if you can get Charlotte to make a deal for her soul... I will need that to keep her safe in future. Do not fail me, or I will start killing those important to you..."

"S-Sh-she wanted you to take my soul with our deal?" Charlie sibbed, hearing a side of her mother she couldn't believe was real. "That-s not-..."

"You have a DEAL?!"

"Oh unclench little king, it's for a favour. Technically I fulfilled the requirement for a deal without fulfilling the request for her soul... under the guise of protecting Charlotte."

"Did Mum have anything to do with your... ability to do the new tech things?"

"Yes and no, like Vox I have some technobiology that allows interaction with radiowaves and things along that spectrum... I could have used what I had to do this. However, she apaprently added upgrades I hadn't been aware of until recently, her version of a reward for not raising arms against Adam or some nonsense."

"But... she could have just healed you? She can do that?" Lucifer frowned, not liking the version of his wife being painted here. Ex-wie, apparently... that had stung to hear.

"She could have. Yes. She's quite ticked about not getting Charlotte's soul on her chain, indirectly... and the shield. She felt that was... overextending the bounds of her commands."

"...is there a plan? Is she coming back from...?"

"Heaven? Yes, but not yet. She's in an odd little dimension of her own, being pampered by angels... why would she ever come back here?"

"Ah... shit." Lucifer seemed on the verge of tears.

"Angel, you may need to release me and comfort the king."

"Oh it, Deer Daddy."

"...I will kill the moth myself to free you if you promise not to call me that one more time."

"Don't tease like that, I nearly ruined my shorts...' Angel stuck out his tongue at Al, who roleld his eyes. Vulgarity was par for the course with dear Angel about, unfortunately.

"C'mere, Short King, feel the soft fluff and know comfort..." Angel said, holding the King face first into the fluff. Charlie was having her hair stroked by Vaggie.

"Well, if that's all the theatrics and question and answer sessions for today, I really must be... going somewhere there aren't so many sobbing people." Alastor nods to them all and dissolves into shadow.

Then startles as he's thrown back into physical form as the King snaps his fingers, pointing without even looking at him.

"Oh no you don't..."

"Don't you ever do that again, your lowness, unless you want to know what it feels like to have your own atoms forcefully reassembled..." he snarls.

"If you could be less of an ass for a second, I have more questions..."

"And I have no answers for you. She's likely to gouge out an eye for all I've revealed so far, or just because she'll be in a Mood that we've won. Her little pocket dimension was by the grace of Adam after all..."

"It was WHAT?!"

"Ah... fuck, did I not say such?"

"No you didn't!"

"Well, she also had a deal and-..." the collar goes taut.

"Do stop talking, deer. I feel you've failed in your task quite enough for one day..." said a very cold tone, as they whirl about to find the Queen on the steps of the hotel. In the blink of an eye, she has something shiny buried to the hilt in Alastor's chest. "Be a good boy and hold onto that for me while I greet my daughter...?"

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ETC.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #fun idea

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