#I have such a weird headspace about my hair where it’s like. it’s just hair it’ll grow back but ALSO it takes so long to grow out

[beetlejuicesgraveyardrevue]

the evil gremlins in my brain finally broke me down and made me shave my hair but I only did the sides not my whole head so. partial win.

[jarofstyles]

The Favor 8

Hey...😁 So this is basically all filth but there's a lot of realization in it so it's educational filth!

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The Favor Masterlist

WC- 7.8k

Warnings- buckle up- Daddy kink, anal, BDSM, dom/sub dynamic, both soft and mean dom H, possessive H, spitting, use of sex toys, impact play, spanking.. probably more tbh. let me know if I missed one!!!

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Y/N could feel a shift in them, but she couldn’t exactly pinpoint where it started. 

Sitting in his bed, she had him standing on the side with her back towards him as nimble fingers curled into her hair as he brought them back into a plait. And for some reason, it felt more intimate than anything else they’d done so far. 

Getting back from the bar, Harry had been adamant that she take a quick shower and dry her hair, welcoming her back in with some cut up fruit and juice to have while he did her hair for her. No one had done it for her since her mum, and that was when she was just a wee little thing. 

Sitting in her nightie she’d packed specifically for his viewing pleasure, he’d given her a long look before muttering to her to get on the bed before he lost it again. 

So she did, following instructions yet again as he had hair ties from when he said his hair was longer. He was increasingly gentle, careful not to snag any knots as he moved her hair around and smoothed it back to avoid any weird spots or bubbles in the hair. When she asked why, he had simply said he wanted her hair out of her face. 

Considering they were going to the illusive club tomorrow, questions kept cropping up in her brain and it felt increasingly difficult to keep them from spewing out of her mouth, so she allowed them to be set free. Harry had always been good with her questions before, but she’d been a little nervous about ruining the comfortable silence they’d fallen into. 

“Do they know you at the club pretty well?” His fingers faltered in her hair at the question but only for a moment before righting themselves. 

“They do, yes. I had been a frequent flyer but I haven't been in a bit.” His voice was calm and gentle, much like his hands. It amazed her how rough and mean he could be during sex, could smack her and choke her, call her a set of holes, but the moment it stopped he treated her like the most delicate little flower whose petals were worth millions. It had thrown her off at first, she had to admit, but now it was something she was growing to look forward to. It was rare she got handled like she was precious and at first she had to admit it made her uneasy, but now? Now she was leaning into it like a kitten searching for pets. 

“May I ask why you stopped?” She was extremely curious about it, considering that had been the catalyst of their arrangement, but Y/N didn’t want to push too far into uncomfortable territory for him. 

“Well…” There was a sigh behind her. “I didn’t have a sub of my own and hooking up with someone for a single night isn’t fulfilling to me anymore. I desire a connection, trust… It had been hard for me lately to get into the headspace with someone I’d just met and wasn’t going to see again.” There was a pause as he finished the plait, fastening it with the hair tie. “Lately I’ve just been craving intimacy and a connection. For me, half of the fun of the lifestyle is having that trust. How much can you trust someone after an hour, y’know? It’s partially why I had us meet and discuss prior to even doing anything, and I took it slow with you. I didn’t just fuck you right then and there. A good dom would get to know you and have proper conversations before playing with you.” But internally, he really did hope no one else would get that privilege but himself. 

“I understand.” She turned around to face him, looking up at his still standing face from her position sitting with her legs crossed in a pretzel. “I was worried at first… you know, when we agreed to this. I’ve been eager to try, but I was also really nervous. I was nervous you’d not find me attractive or something I wanted to try would freak you out. Or…” There was a debate in her mind if she wanted to say it or not, but considering what had happened tonight, she decided to say it. “Or you’d just view sex as some sort of favor and not actually enjoy it.” 

It made him frown when she dropped her eyes from his own, fiddling with her fingers and avoiding contact. That was the last thing he’d thought of. If anything, he forgot about the Danny part and focused on building a dynamic with her far more than he should considering the consequences but he knew she wasn’t dumb. Even if they both didn’t say it, there was something deeper there. And while he wasn’t quite brave enough to admit feelings fully, he wasn’t about to let her think any bit of that could ever be true. 

“I enjoy it far more than I ever anticipated, and ever should have.” He said quietly, tapping her chin. “Look at me while we’re talking, darling- thank you.” A softer smile curled on his lips as he allowed himself to stroke her cheek, taking a deep inhale. “Don’t worry about any single part of that. I think… you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve set my eyes on. There’s a reason I didn’t talk to you so much when you were around. I knew my attraction to you would grow and you were someone else's… This was a twist of fate.” The admission made her eyes widen slightly but he wasn’t done. “And not a single thing you’ve mentioned has freaked me out. As someone with my background growing up and experiencing the community full force, I’ve seen it all and m’willing to try anything with you.” There was a twinge in his heart as she rested her cheek in his palm, giving him the softest eyes he’d ever seen in his life. He could see that she trusted him, but he had to ask. “Do you trust me, Y/N?” The question lingered in the air as he searched her features.

“I do.” There wasn’t a lick of hesitation. The girl held more trust in him than she did her own boyfriend which… she’d need to unpack later. “I know you’d never hurt me and have my best interest at heart.” It had been proven as much tonight when he’d stuck up for her, that he’d been so irritated with the other man for ignoring her, that he gave a fuck about how she felt. There were texts every day asking how her job was, if she ate, what she was doing to unwind, placing more care and interest in her than she’d felt in a long time. 

“I do, sweetheart. I really do. I care about you a lot.” The murmur was soft, their voices hushed even though no one could overhear. “I want t’make all of those fantasies you have come true. The one we talked about. I’ll take care of you, okay?” He felt her nod against his hand before gripping his wrist and pulling it towards her mouth. There was nothing said as he let her do what she wanted while watching curiously. The twinkle of mischief rose in her eye again, sparking a flame in his stomach as she exposed her pink tongue to him and brought the fingers that had been stroking her cunt while they were out into her mouth. 

Hearing him talk so sweetly about her had turned her on again. She’d been good tonight, at least she thinks so, but she wanted to tease him a little bit. Didn’t he know that being so nice to her would work her up? Couldn’t he guess that the sweeter he was, the wetter she got? She got both sides of him. Sweet Harry, and the mean Daddy she had slipped up with later. 

“Tastes like you, hm?” The tone shift was so easy, so quick that Y/N’s tummy flipped. “See… m’nice to you, and then you’ve got t’go and be a dirty little thing. Should’ve known to keep my sweet words to when you’re fucked out and limp. Turns you on when I’m sweet to you, doesn’t it?” It was a tease considering Harry knew he couldn’t stop himself from being nice to her. It was what he wanted. 

But right now he felt the mean streak kick back in. 

“Open wider.” He instructed, watching for her to listen, but she didn’t. Instead she sucked over his fingers again, testing his patience. “I told you to open.” One more chance he’d give her. 

Y/N was trying to misbehave. She wanted to see what he’d do. Pushing boundaries. See how he’d handle her. Taking his fingers into her throat, she gagged a little but kept them there as his gaze turned dark, eyes blazing at the misbehavior. This was what she meant by wanting to be a brat. 

She hadn’t expected him to kneel on the bed, taking her hair in his hand while ripping the wet fingers from her mouth. She hadn’t seen the slap coming. Wet fingers smacked over her cheek, shocking her slightly as the sting made her throb. He’d only done this twice before, but the submissive really fucking liked it. A moan left her throat as soon as it pulled away, making him snarl. Again, his fingers swiped against her cheek, making her mouth open a little bit. 

“Fucking brat.” He grit out. “Serves me right for being nice t’you. And to think I was going to be nice to you tonight…” He sighed, shaking his head. “Open that fucking mouth or I’ll force it open.” 

Y/N was tempted to disobey but she wanted to see why he wanted it, so she listened. Tongue out, she fluttered her lashes at him as the grip on her braid stung against her scalp. She hadn’t expected him to lean forward, pursing his lips and spitting right into her mouth. “Don’t swallow. Keep it there- Don’t fucking move.” He ordered, though he didn’t do anything else. He simply stared at her, eyes narrowed as she looked back up at him. This view was perfect in her opinion. She felt small, delicate, like he could throw her around- but so strong and confident like this. It felt like she was capable of anything. 

“Since you want t’call me your Daddy so badly, I think we should take care of that. Acting like a fucking brat, even after I was so nice and let you cum on my fingers in the middle of the week…” Shaking his head, he leaned in again and spit right on the flat of her tongue before using the sucked fingers to spread it over her tongue and down on her chin, letting some drip off her tongue down to her tits. “Now you can swallow.” 

Y/N hadn’t seen this bit yet. There had been peeks of it, little hints, but his demeanor had shifted into something she’d been dying to see. Just like in the hallway, she wanted him to take. Take, take, take until she had given it all to him. “Sorry, Sir.” She whispered, not daring to wipe herself clean. The mess was what she deserved, a filthy badge of honor.

A look of disapproval was shot her way as he used her hair as a leash, leading her to the very edge of the bed. “No, no, no, Darling.” He scolded, shaking his head at the honorific. “Where’s that other name that you called me when begging for my load inside you?” His eyebrow raised. “I liked that one for tonight. Let me hear that.” 

“Sorry, Daddy.” she whispered, wincing as he arched her head back. 

“Yeah, y’should be. Pissed me the fuck off.” At that he could see her shrink a little in her form, making him take a moment to check on her. Softening his voice, he caught her attention and gentled his grip for a moment to give her a chance to give her a beat to say something if need be. “You know how to use your colors. Where are you right now?”

“Green.” She nodded. “I don’t want to really upset you though.” 

“You’re not, sweetheart. You’re alright.” He promised, leaning down to kiss her once before his mask slipped back on. “Now I think…. That we should teach you some manners. Can you handle yourself for a moment? I think I’ve got the solution to get that brattiness out of your system.” 

Y/N nodded,  more than willing to hand over quite literally anything the man had to offer. It was pathetic but she found herself vying for even a tiny bit of his approval. The man had control of her body in ways she’d only dreamt of, so of course she’d hand it over on a silver platter. “What do you want from me, Daddy?” She whispered, watching his eyes as they trailed over her with this smirk that slightly unnerved her. 

“I think… I’ve given your cunt a good amount of attention tonight. It’s time for me to play with your ass.” 

—

Y/N was slightly humiliated as she pressed her cheek to the mattress, Harry’s spit still on her chin as her arms extended back so her hands could spread her ass open for him. He wasn’t even paying attention to her yet, instead looking through the bedside table for whatever it is that he was going to use on her. 

Was she nervous? Of course she was. The only play she’d had with her ass had been on her own accord or when Harry had stuck his thumb in, but the excitement heavily outweighed it. If she could choose anyone to be her first in this, it would be him. Sure, he’d bully her a little because he knew that was what she liked, but he’d take care of her. Harry always took care of her, no matter what. Sex or not. He was slowly overtaking her brain and she found that it was exactly how she liked it. 

“Such pretty holes.” His voice broke her out of her train of thought, heat raising on her cheeks as she could feel his gaze. Completely exposed for him to see, she felt the cool air on her most intimate parts as his warm hand ran over her now clean inner thigh. “You’re already wet. Seems you do like a bit of humiliation, don’t you pet?” It was rhetorical, so she kept her mouth shut. “I’ve been thinking about this since the first time I got a peek at this ass. Did y’know that? It’s fucking gorgeous.” There was no hint of shame in his own tone, speaking as if he was in awe of her. “And here you are, spreading yourself open so I can see the puffy little cunt I just abused and that untouched hole. It’s an honor to be the first to have it.”

He was understating it a lot, at least for now. Satisfaction of being the only man to take her ass was something that fueled his ego tremendously, knowing he would be the single person who got to feel how tight and hot it could be around his prick. His hopes of Y/N deciding to choose him instead were his motivation, as unhealthy as it may be. “Here’s our options- and make no fuckin��� mistake, you’re only getting options because its the first time you’re getting fucked here.” In future scenes he would be deciding and she could color out, or talk to him if she didn’t like it. “We can put a plug in you. Let you sit there with it in, but you’ll have to lay with me for a while and let it stretch you more. Or,” He ran a finger over the little hole, smiling when she jolted again. “Daddy can open you up with fingers, place that vibrator you liked so much on your clit and take you when I feel you’re ready. That one may hurt a bit more going in but… you said you like a bit of pain, yeah?” 

The girl did. Pushing her ass back against his finger, she nodded heavily at the second option. “Second, please. Please I want..  I don’t want to wait a long time, Daddy.” 

“Hm… Do you really think you can handle it, Puppy?” He clicked his tongue, moving his finger away from her ass and down to her swollen clit. “I know you’re a bit of a whore, but you know m’not small. It’s not gonna be easy for that tiny hole to take. May have to force it in a little.” It was incredible to him how she reacted to his words so visibly, making it so fucking easy to read her. Maybe they were just in tune with one another, but the little inhale she made clued him in to just how much she liked that. 

“I can do it. I can, it’ll fit. I promise, I can be good and take it. I can take you cock anywhere, I want it so fucking bad, Daddy.” Her voice shook a little, surprising the dominant as he looked down at the body he was meant to ruin. Again, the surge of possessiveness rose to the surface of his skin and bubbled in his blood. Of course she could take it. Of course his little brat would be willing to do anything he wanted, because she was fucking made for him. 

“Alright, pet.” He feigned a resigned sigh. “Don’t disappoint me then. You’re gonna have t’make sure you can take it then.” Excitement was tingling the base of his spine, his cock fully hard again as he left her in her position to go and grab the toy. The Hitachi needed to be plugged into the outlet, which took a moment to do. 

“Daddy?” Her voice called to him, a bit apprehensive. His heart melted a little as he walked to her, toy in hand. 

“It’s alright, Puppy. Didn’t go anywhere too far. Had to get some supplies.” Laying them out beside her, he swatted her hands away from holding herself open. “You’re going to hold this on your pretty clit for me while I open you up. Do you think you can handle that? Or shall I go and get tape so I can keep it there?”

Shivers went up her spine as she imagined it, being forced to cum over and over again with the vibrations coursing through her body. For now, she thought she could handle it, but it was an increasingly enticing idea. “I can do it, Daddy. I’ll be good, I can handle it.”  Harry let out a noise of doubt that only made her huff. “I can! Why did you make that noise?”

A rough spank was laid right to the bottom of her thigh, making her yelp. “Don’t talk back. I asked a simple question, no need for the dramatics.” His voice was stern, a little mean, and she could feel her poor cunt throbbing at the demeanor he had. There had been something so utterly delicious, she had found out, about a man who could fuck like he hated you but worshipped you in all other aspects. He would cover her body in soft kisses and cooling lotion when they were done and hand feed her fruit, but right now it was seeing the other side of the coin.  “Now, I’m going to start. You ask before you cum, and if I tell you to take it away, you do as I say. Am I understood?” 

“Yes.” Y/N sulked, only to be spanked again. “Why?!” The exclamation made his own sigh even louder. 

“Yes, what?” 

“Yes, Daddy.” Forgetting that had been an accident, but Y/N couldn’t lie and say his strict demeanor didn’t get her going. 

She was relatively calm though her excitement could be felt in her stomach. Her cunt had been fucked thoroughly in the dark hallway, an undeniable excitement lingering in her body when she remembered leaving with her lips swollen and cum dripping down her thigh. The man who thought he owned her had barely given her a second look, while the one who she looked to for comfort had his hand on the small of her back. It still astounded her how much trust she had put into Harry. How quickly they’d clicked, how he was so in tune with her body and her thoughts that sometimes he knew what she was feeling or thinking before she was even aware of it. 

“Fucking brat.” He muttered, placing the toy into her hands and letting her position it accordingly. “Be good for me, or you aren’t getting fucked.”

With that, the toy was switched on by his thumb at the lowest setting, and the fun began. 

Harry’s view was impeccable. It was always a beautiful thing to see a submissive bare themselves to you, but it was even better when that submissive was Y/N. She had already placed so much trust in him, already chosen him a plethora of times and proven her place. The cravings he’d had of her throughout the week had been almost debilitating. Half the time he was tempted to tell her to come over after work and say fuck it all to the weekend arrangement. Have her sit in his foyer with nothing on when he got home, or in his bed. 

Clicking open the cap of the cherry lubricant, he let a bit dribble down and over her hole. It had been something he’d been looking forward to since she had mentioned it to him, but now that he was getting to do it, that he was smearing his fingers to spread the lube over her while he felt the vibrations work through her body, the excitement only kept building. “This is pretty, y’know.” He mumbled. “Made to be fucked. Think all of your holes were. Makes sense that you’re such a filthy whore.” 

Y/N whimpered underneath him, rubbing her face into the duvet. He had considered tying her hair up so she couldn’t move her head, but that was something else he had to look forward to one day. There were so many options for them that his brain was constantly coming up with more plans, new debauchery to put her body through. His cock was scorching under his briefs, his pants tight, but he was far more focused on her. She was doing well so far, but he was waiting for a slip up. There wouldn’t be much grace given until his cock was buried in that tight little hole. 

“If you’d told me that the pretty girl who walked up all shy to be in that cafe would have her cunt dripping from being degraded while I prepared her ass to be fucked, I’d have been shocked. I imagine most people would. You come off as so sweet, demure… Such a good girl. But you’re nothing but a cock thirsty whore.” His hand pulled back to spank the round of her flesh, a mewl leaving her throat as she trembled slightly. “See? Have half a mind to record this. Maybe next time I will. Take a video of your pretty face while my cock splits your ass open, keep it bookmarked on my phone. So many things I want to do to you, my pet, and such little time in the day.” Clicking his tongue, he ran his finger over the pucker of her ass. It clenched around nothing, making him bite back a groan. She was completely and utterly exposed for him, at his mercy. Better yet, this is where she wanted to be. She chose this, came home with him after giving her boyfriend a metaphorical fuck you, and was now handing over her untouched hole with an eagerness he hadn’t seen in many people. 

“If it makes you happy, Daddy.” She said shakily, panting slightly. 

“Exactly. You’d do anything to make Daddy happy.” The dominant crooned, giving little warning as he pushed the tip of her finger into her ass. He could feel her start to shift her hips, so his opposite hand cracked over her hot skin again to cut it out. “Stop being fucking greedy. Barely got a quarter of a finger in there and you’re trying to fuck yourself on it. Pathetic.” 

Y/N apologized wearily, trying her best to keep still as his finger sunk in deeper. The toy’s vibrations against her clit had her feeling on edge already, but the intrusion in her ass was making her eyes water. “Sorry, I’m sorry but it feels good, Daddy. I want more.” 

Harry scoffed in amazement. This little thing had been having vanilla, missionary sex? She’d been subjected to holding back her true wants and for what? She should have always belonged to him. He knew what to do with her. Harry knew how to please her, how to work a body and a mind who craved this sort of stuff. “I know you do, Puppy. Want to thump your little leg and whine for more like a real pet, but you’re going to take whatever the fuck I give you, and you’re going to like it.” 

Of course, because of her begging, he let himself draw it out. 

Two minutes in she had warned she was going to cum, so he demanded she take the toy away for a minute before putting it back on, one setting higher. 5 minutes in and he added another finger, almost sending her into another orgasm. This time he had her hold the toy away for two minutes, repeating the cycle. Fucking the fingers into her tight channel, he could only imagine how good it was going to feel on his cock. 

“M’gonna add the third, and this time I think I’ll be generous and let you cum. You’ve been a good girl.” His voice softened up, putting his clean hand down and switching it to the next setting. “After that we’re going to try.” Harry was plenty aware of the fact that she had taken it like a champ. He’d even prepared her in the past when they spoke of it that he wouldn’t be upset if she needed more to work into it, but Y/N was definitely a go-getter. 

He watched carefully as he slowly worked the third finger in, watching her reactions. He’d been vigilant for her comfort, and while no one took fingers in the arse as a walk in the park the first time, she had done impressively well. Even with the ruined orgasms which he knew pissed her off immensely, she had been so fucking good and he couldn’t wait to reward her for it. “What’s your color, sweet girl?”

“Green- green, so green Daddy.” She slurred. “I’m so close. I-I’m gonna cum so soon.” This was the place he wanted to get her to, the slightly delirious pleasure filled state of mind that would make it all the more easy on her. The lax bodied ease in which she would be able to take his cock with less tenseness. 

“Go on, baby. Make a mess of yourself so you can take my cock in this pretty little hole.”

It seemed like his permission was enough to set her off. He felt her whole body shake, clenching around his fingers with her walls as she let out a wail he hadn’t heard from her before. Thighs trembling, hand accidentally losing grip of the toy and fingers tensing in the air as she backed into his fingers before trying to get away. His unoccupied hand gripped her hip and kept her in place, praising her as his fingers didn’t stop. In and out, he massaged and stretched her open as the orgasm rattled her bones. 

“That’s my best girl. Knew you could do it, little thing.” He cooed, soothing her skin as she stopped trying to escape the feeling. “Poor pussy, s’a lot hm? Daddy made you wait a little bit to cum, but it was worth it.” 

Y/N nodded into the soft fabric, not yet able to find her voice. This time he didn’t scold her, knowing it probably was intense from the mixture of new sensations and edging with quite a powerful toy. Instead he let her work through it, waiting for her to give him a sign. “Puppy? Alright?” 

“M’amazing.” She giggled, slapping her hand around to find the vibrator. “Can I turn it off, please?”

“Course. Go on, pet. It’s just about time for the real fun to start.”

—-

Y/N was boneless under him, tensing only when he slowly pulled fingers out to dribble some more lubricant over her hole. “Need to get it nice n’wet, my pet.” He was careful to describe what he was doing now that they were getting closer to the real thing. “M’gonna get my cock nice and slick too, make it easier to slide in. You’re a snug little thing, need to make sure we get you as comfortable as possible. 

She had no doubt in her mind that he would do that. Harry had never failed in taking care of her, always making sure she had what she needed. Maybe with quite literally anyone else she would be shaking with nervous, but with him it was only a tiny tremor in her hands. His unlubed fingers had stroked her hair away from her face and made her look at him, promising she was okay to continue before he had gotten to this point. His clothes off, his body heat radiating from behind her. “Okay, Daddy.” 

This mindset was newer to her. Everything felt a little fuzzy and a bit like slow motion but she didn’t feel scared. It was comforting. His voice was deep and calm, at least for now, brushing over her skin like a feather. If she could, she would arch into his words like a cat looking for a pet from it’s owner. Perhaps that was because that’s sort of what she felt like. 

“See? When you listen to instructions and don’t act like a brat, you’re so sweet.” He praised. “I’m gonna be a bit meaner to you, but it’s okay because my slutty little puppy quite likes it, I reckon.” 

She did. She did, she did, she did. She liked how pretty his voice was when he degraded her and acted like she was just a hole for him to unload his cum into. If that was what he wanted her to be, she would happily take it all like the overly eager puppy she turned him into. Something about the man and his demeanor, both as a dominant and a man in general, had her wanting to roll over and submit. There were stark differences between how Dom Harry and Regular Harry treated her, but they fell into the most delicious melting pot that she wanted to submerge her whole body in. “I like anything you do to me, Daddy.” She responded like the perfect little pet she was. 

Harry cooed at her, leaning over her body and placing a kiss on her shoulder. “I know. It’s what makes us so fun, isn’t it? I want to do nasty, dirty, horrible things to you… and you want to let me.” 

Y/N keened as she felt the tip of his cock slap a few times over her hole, eyes fluttering shut. It had been a long time in the making, and she wanted to feel him inside of her. In a place no one else had been before. It would be his, in her mind.

“You tell me if it’s too much. Color if you need to. Do you understand me?” 

Y/N nodded, humming to him, but that wasn’t good enough. A tap to her hip made her eyes peel back open to look at him, his eyes narrowed on her. “Words, Y/N. Tell me you understand how to use your colors and you feel safe.” Oooo, the government name.  If this wasn't the first time they were doing this he likely wouldn’t be so heavy on the double and triple checking, but it was a lot for her to take. He was a lot for her to take. 

“I understand, Daddy. I know I’m safe and I know how to use my colors. Please, fuck me now.” 

Harry gave her a warning glare before he exhaled through his nose, muttering about ‘where his good girl had gone’, but took it for now. They were both keyed up and ready to finally do this, and he couldn’t help that. 

It was cool in the room, but she felt hot all over, particularly under the skin, as his cock rubbed over the well lubed hole. 

Her brain’s fuzzy feeling returned as she felt the first bit begin to push in. It wasn’t entirely pleasant, as she knew it probably wouldn’t be, but she wasn’t about to tap out. Taking quick breaths, she was reminded by the dominant to change that. “Deep, slow breaths. You’ll hyperventilate if you keep doing that.” He murmured, rubbing small circles into her hip. 

His eyes were zoned in on the side of her face as he watched her grip the duvet in front of her. Ever so attentive, she knew he would stop if she asked but there was no point in asking that. Even when it hurt a bit, like he was stretching her so far out that she’d split, she didn’t do anything but curl her fingers and toes, making herself breathe through it. Harry was soft with his words, gentle with his touches as she let him sink into her slowly. 

There was no rushing this. Her body felt like molasses the longer he was inside of her,  not bothering to ask how much more was left. She’d done her research before she ever met Harry but even more after the fact about how to get through it. Deep breaths, good prep, communication. All three things she had actively gotten from him. It was now a journey of waiting for her body to stretch and accept. 

“I’m okay.” She whispered, reaching her hand back to his on her hip. “I feel okay. You can keep going.” He had little bits where he would wait a few moments before continuing to push in, but she wanted it over with. It was starting to become more pleasurable as her body adjusted and he was being cautious with her, but she could take it. 

“Okay.” He agreed, flipping over his hand and letting her hold it. 

Harry was trying his best not to take her out of the moment, or to cum himself. It felt stupidly good, the wet heat engulfing him and clenching around as she tried to adjust to the feeling. Was she truly tighter than anyone else he had, or was he just far more attached to her than the rest? It was something he’d need to unpack later while she was asleep in his bed and he could be creepy and look over her, but at the current moment he couldn’t recall another time where he had felt this good being inside of someone else. “M’gonna grind into you a bit, okay?” He warned her, slowly rocking his hips and hearing her gasp at the small movements. 

God, it felt so good. Like a damn vice, her hole gripping him tight as her nails dug into the back of his hand. For a second he was going to ask if she needed a moment, but the broken moan that left her swollen lips clued him into it. It was the complete opposite. “Oh, Puppy… You like how that feels?” 

“Uh-huh.” She nodded, spreading her legs a bit more. “I’m so f-full.” 

The way she said it was going to be ingrained in his wank bank forever. Whiny and shivery, but full of pleasure. Like she couldn’t believe how well she was filled. “You are. Nice n’snug inside this perfect hole. Think I was right about you being made to be fucked. Though… I think it’s mainly by me, yeah? Pretty holes made to be filled by me, cause I fill ‘em so perfectly.” 

“Yeah, Daddy.” She mewled, arching slightly as he pushed in a bit further. “It’s so perfect and I l-love it. It hurts but it feels so good n’I wanna do it again.” 

“Haven’t even finished this one and you’re already planning our next fuck… Really are Daddy’s girl. Addicted to my cock inside of you, jus’ like I’m obsessed with filling you.” She didn’t know just how true those words rang out now. How he had poured over the fact that he liked her far more than he should for an arrangement like this, how he had been so desperate for her that he’d broken his rule -which he never does as a dominant- and made her cum in the bathroom during their lunch because he had wanted to make her feel good so badly that it made him feel borderline insane. 

“I am. I’m Daddy’s girl.” She babbled, pushing back into him. “I can take more. You can- you can fuck me. I can take it, I promise. Green.” The urging made him chuckle to himself because fuck, could she get any more perfect?  Make it any more obvious that she was completely and utterly made for him, saying all the shit he had been hoping she would? 

For once, the dominant couldn’t tell his submissive no. 

He was slow about it at first, listening to her mewl. Filling her up and pulling out shallowly, letting her adjust to the action. The man relished in the feeling of her stretching and clinging to him, greedily trying to keep him inside of her.  It became increasingly hard to keep his composure, but the good news was that Y/N didn’t want him to. 

The slow crescendo gained momentum, the hand she was holding falling down as she tried to move herself onto her hands. While he had been trying to keep it slower for her, it seemed his submissive craved more- fucking herself back onto him with the sweetest whines being punched out of her as she did so. The gall, the audacity of the girl had him laughing under his breath- but he wasn’t going to let it go.

His hand gripped her hair, swiftly pulling it around his fist like a leash and pulling her up onto her knees. “If you want more, you’ll take it like this.” It was reminiscent of their other time he loved to look back on, but his prick was filling a different hole. Teeth descended onto her neck as he picked up the pace, biting down as she squealed his honorific into the air. “Oh, what? Is it too deep? Too much? You want to get greedy and now it’s too much for that slutty hole?” He cooed, the condescending tone making her shiver. “That’s too fucking bad then. You know what to say to get me to stop.” Unless she uttered that word, he knew she could take it. 

Y/N felt lightheaded in the best way. This new sort of pleasure had her dripping all over her thighs, her clit pulsing between her legs as he fucked into her ass. Pounded it, really, in a way she had only dreamed about. Pinpricks on her scalp from the grip on her hair, involuntary noises being punched out of her lungs from the pressure, she was feeling her eyes lull with each thrust. It was only with him, she didn’t have to think about anything but how good she felt. How to please him, how to piss him off, how he would make her cum. The most primal of urges being met, all the while he was focused on her. There was no thought of work infiltrating his brain, or sports, or the distraction of texts or pulling out mid stroke for a phone call- no. In their intimate moments, Harry was just as tuned into her as she was, him. 

“You fuck me so good.” Somewhere along the line, those thoughts had her tearing up. This was the first partner in which she had felt the reciprocated want, the attention she felt she deserved being laid down onto her. Her eyes stung but there was no way to stop it as the tears began to dribble down her cheeks. Something like an emotional release starting as the physical pleasure began to bubble up in her stomach, his hand winding around to the front to circle her slippery clit. “Don’t stop, Daddy. Don’t stop, please don’t ever stop fucking me.” 

The words probably held more weight than she realized, her shuddering voice making him groan into her neck. “As long as you want me, I’ll keep going.” His voice was deep with the pleasure, hoarse as he promised her he wouldn’t stop. “You feel so good, baby. I’ll give you whatever you need. Don’t ever worry.” turning her head, his tongue licked over the salty tear that had fallen down her cheek. “Your holes are mine, aren’t they? Every single one. No one else’s. Only for Daddy to fuck. Took this ass n’now it’s mine.” He himself was losing it a bit at her declaration, finding himself close. “My perfect slut.”

The intensity was high but neither of them wanted to stop. Unspoken words thick in the air as the pleasure filled both of their bodies, leading them towards their ends sooner than they’d want. It was when his fingers filled her pussy and his the heel of his palm smacked against her clit as he fucked her in both holes that she new she couldn’t stop her upcoming orgasm. 

“Yeah- uh-huh, just use me. I’ll be good, I’ll be so, so good for you Daddy. They’re yours, I’m yours. I’m yours, I promise- Oh, fuck.” She sobbed, feeling his fingers quicken on her clit. “I need to cum. I need to cum, Please, please let me. You can keep fucking me, Jus’ let me cum. I’m so good, I’m your good little slut.”

“Y-yeah.” His mouth fell open and the moan was loud and slightly shaky.  “Cum for me. Cum for me, pretty fucking girl, I’m gonna cum in you. Let go, It’s okay- Give it t’me. Give it.” He demanded, his mouth shadowing her own as they inhaled each other’s pants. They were glistening and sticky with sweat, sloppy on the thighs, lips swollen and marked up in the most animalistic way and they’d never been more in tune with their bodies- or each other. 

Y/N couldn’t stop herself as she got permission, his pulsing fingers getting one specific spot inside of her and his cock filling her ass over and over again sending her over the edge. White flashed her vision as she shuddered in his arms, a unfamiliar scream leaving her throat. Gushing around his fingers, she squirted a little stream of liquid down his hand. Both holes clenching, her body unsure if she should push herself closer or pull away, she sobbed out his name. “Harry- Harry, oh my fuck-” 

The combination of many things had led to his own orgasm, but it was particularly his real name that had him pushed to his limits. His own pathetic moan of hers followed, pulling her mouth to his own as he kissed her messily. Each pulse of his balls added another stream of cum inside of her, thighs twitching as he felt some of his strength draining along with his cock. He was in slight disbelief how intense he felt it, his toes feeling damn near numb as he tried to snap back into caretaker mode as he unwound his hand from her hair and slowly leaned her down to lay on the bed. 

“Oh, baby…” He whispered, peppering kisses to her cheeks. “Fuck, sweet girl… what the fuck are you doin’ to me?” A laugh of disbelief left his swollen lips, nudging his nose against hers. Y/N let out a weak noise of acknowledgement, melting right into the bed as he laid on top of her. Doing his best to keep his weight from squishing her, he tried to gain some composure with deep breathing. He’d fallen into a different headspace there, and it had been quite a while since he had done it. Forever, really, for that certain brand of it. It wasn’t just a dominant headspace, but one that felt something for the girl he was inside of. More than what was allowed. At this point though, he didn’t particularly care about the logistics of it. 

There was no way he wasn’t going to make this girl his. Ethics be damned. 

“Angel? Y’alright?” He whispered, getting a grunt from her. “Yeah? I’m gonna have to pull out in a few seconds so I can get the stuff to take care of you. I’ll be slow, and come right back.” It wasn’t like he wanted to go anywhere from her, If he had it his way he’d be inside of her 24/7. But he needed to take proper care of his girl, and aftercare was something he simply wouldn’t skip. 

“No.” She whimpered. “Don’t want you t’go.” The words were muffled together, like her lips weren't working that well, and it made the man smile. She was well and truly fucked out. This time, though, it was mutual. 

“I have to, sweetheart. Don’t want you laying in all this filth. Sticky, aren’t you?” He knew he was. It was worse for her, considering she had been double stuffed with his cum today. Internally, he was very happy about that.

“A little.” She huffed, turning her head and eyeing him. “I don’t wanna move. I don’t think I’ve got bones, Daddy.” The whisper made him smile, knowing that she was still in that space. He’d work her out of it, make sure she was all clean and boneless while feeling safe. 

“You’ve got bones, love. Daddy jus’ fucked you pretty good.” He smoothed the sweaty strands of hair from her face. “Do you need something before I go n’grab the stuff to make you feel like you’ve got bones again?” 

Her face turned a little more, lips puckering out. “Kissy, please.” 

When he’d look back at it later, he would pinpoint that as the moment all the defenses around his heart broke. There was no more denying it. She had him. Hook, line and sinker.  

[hyperballart]

pls we need what happens after patrick finds repressed art's porn history pls pls pls 🙏🙏🙏

prev.

they definitely don’t want to bring it up out of guilt from both sides. patrick wants art to be selfish for once, for him to take what he wants from him and let go, but that’s a wish that would be hard to come by. art is in a different headspace — he finds it difficult to sleep next to patrick for the first time in the years since they’ve started pushing their beds together (they always said they were too small but won’t admit that it’s because they like staying close.) he’s paranoid of acting on all the wet dreams he’s been having, waking up with a gasp and grinding his cock with the mattress until he runs to the bathroom and waits for it to go down.

it seems as if their overthinking paired up and cruelly manifested the present; where patrick is rudely forced awake at an ungodly hour by some rustling. he is used to art kicking the blankets off in his sleep and he’s about to pull the duvet over himself with a huff when he suddenly realizes he is actually warm — too warm, in fact. it’s then when he registers the whining, an incoherent chant coming from the body that is directly pressed behind his own.

he doesn’t move. art is asleep, but he grinds into patrick from behind, fully hard and almost piercing through his boxers. they’re not cuddlers so patrick is confused even more when he feels the tightening grip art’s arms holding him. he really is at a loss of knowing what to do, the moment his brain computed that his best friend was using him to get off from a wet dream his mind fogged and cock twitched in interest.

a particular push of art’s hips has him moaning subconsciously, he quickly shuts his mouth, but when art suddenly groans out a patrick, nnghh a louder sound escapes him. that is what jolts the blonde awake. it takes him about 30 seconds of silence to understand the scene and figure out that patrick was conscious to know as well. his face is burning and he flops on his back while he tries to say something, “oh my fucking god, i don’t know what— it’s not what it looked like,” and he can hear patrick stifle a laugh.

“are you good?” patrick sounds a lot more calm than what the situation calls for, as if he’s not leaking through his underwear. art shoots him a look even though the darkness of the bedroom conceals his expression, “sorry, lately i’ve been a little off. i haven’t really — um — you know, gotten off in a while or whatever,” he’s scrambling, “i was just having a dream, i guess — and um, you were there and i don’t know.”

patrick opens his mouth without thinking, “why are you making this weird, man, i don’t mind.” a beat of silence.

“what?”

“what i’m saying is, you’re my best friend. i’m doing you a solid,” he tries to rationalize without sounding desperate, “you just need a warm body s’all, you can keep going — it’s not like we’re technically touching each other.”

after a bit of dubious back and forth, art hesitantly brushes up against patrick’s ass and let’s out a long sigh. patrick feels him holding back and he puts a stop to it quickly, “it’s okay artie, do what feels good.”

and so, he does. the tent in his boxers is so hard and warm against patrick, he makes shallow grinds and keens when the brunet subtly arches his back to push back. “f—fuck patrick, i can’t stop , ah—“

“don’t fucking stop art, i know it feels good—hmm,” art’s hands grip the sheets to keep them from grasping at patrick. he takes a peek over his shoulder and sees his friend’s bare chest; dusted by hair and filled out with muscle. his eyes trail lower and he sees the way his stomach is sucking in deep breaths of his restrained arousal, but then he looks lower and spots that he is also very hard — the sight pushes him to a hard thrust and a whine.

the fact that he has been wanting this for a long time (even if unknowingly) makes it so much hotter. the fantasy of seeing the cocky boy he’s shared clothes and cigarettes with struggling to act unaffected — eyes shut and lip held between teeth — is quickly sending him to his end.

“patrick — i think i’m gonna —“ art can’t stop himself from letting go of the duvet and grasping on to patrick’s hips instead and making him fuck back on his cock through the fabric. “oh shit, i’m there — i’m almost there, just let me use you a little more—“

patrick himself is on the verge of coming untouched, being used activates a slutty part of himself, “c’mon keep fucking me like you mean it — ah — that’s right.” he slips in something that can be misunderstood by the boy behind him in his state of ecstasy, but will still take his breath away: “cum in me, art. i want you to.”

art squeals out a pitiful sound, almost like a sob, before he spills out against patrick. his cum is bleeding through both of their boxers and none of them seem to be alarmed by this. he leaves bruises on patricks hips while he rides out his high and melts into the mattress with his mouth panting behind his neck.

when he’s coming down and gaining consciousness he mutters three words before falling back to sleep, i’m not gay.

patrick wants to bring up his search history, but he’ll save it for another day.

[locke-esque-monster]

I got real nervous they were doing Lila x Five really early in the season. It wasn't even explicitly stated, it was just a feeling from how they were setting up and framing things. Lila disagreeing with Diego and going to talk to Five. Lila keeping secrets from Diego that Five knew about. The tension of Five covering for Lila to Diego. Lila's dissatisfaction with her relationship with Diego and asking for a break. Without actively being romantically into Five, it kept setting up the narrative for Lila to leave Diego and Five was all tied in with what she was going to as an alternative to Diego. Add that to the promo pics with them together - even having watched it later and avoided spoilers I had a real bad feeling where this was going long before 4x5. (Or at least avoided until I already had my theory - my phone helpfully suggested an article days before I got to 4x5. I was not pleased to say the least.)

But there's a lot of reasons I take issue with this pairing and how it was done, so Christ, I guess let's get started:

Five explicitly stated in season 3 that Lila is not his type.

Five murdered Lila's parents. Sure, on the Handler's orders. But you think it's easy to have a romantic relationship when you know those hands killed your parents (aka my biggest critique of Tony/Bucky shippers in the MCU).

Five is indirectly responsible for the Handler's death. He saved everyone but her when he time traveled back. Sure, Lila was upset with her, but this woman raised her. She's got to have some complicated feelings about that and Five is all wrapped up in them now.

Five also had a weird relationship with the Handler, where she was a little flirty with him, which was all kinds of uncomfortable. Lila briefly mimicked this in season 3, which was even more uncomfortable. It's unclear if this was deliberately copying her "mother" or not. But adding Five and the Handler's complicated relationship on top of the other issues means there's a whole carousel of baggage to unpack here.

Five has always seemed kind of annoyed or tolerant of Lila, which extended into early this season. It's maybe a hair kinder at the start of season 4, but definitely not where it should be if there's potential here. It'd be one thing if they were friends after 6 years, but their relationship hasn't substantially changed at the start of this season to suggest otherwise.

If you have to do an all musical montage to show 2 characters falling in love, I'm sorry, you're not doing this right. That's telling, not showing. These characters have had tons of interactions to build off of. If you can't do that, then you're effectively saying that you have no foundation for this relationship.

Also, if it takes 6 1/2 years of being each others sole companions under adverse conditions for you to get together - maybe you shouldn't be together. It's one thing if it's treated like "Finally" or "Oh I didn't think you also felt this way". It's another if it's like it's a new idea entirely - that suggests loneliness and a desire for companionship and they're you're only option.

Five's history includes him having a pseudo-romantic relationship with a mannequin when he's left alone in the apocalypse at 13. The next time he's separated from his family for years he's with Lila. I'll allow that it makes sense he developed feelings for her specifically because of his history. That said, that makes this a wholly unhealthy relationship when he has a history like that. Lila is filling a gap Five's psyche has clung to before in similar harrowing times.

Frankly, the fact Lila was first looking for excitement out of her home life and is now upset she can't get back to her family isn't a good headspace either. (I'm also deeply frustrated that Lila feels trapped at home. Lila is so capable and she has a buttload of family members who apparently can take their children on a whim during all this chaos. You're telling me she couldn't have found a better outlet to work on their marriage or get some freedom before it got to this point of lying to Diego?)

Five is volatile and Lila is unpredictable. They're nothing but a menace to practically every other character they meet, including each other. But once they're a couple, they're perfectly pleasant the whole time. I don't buy it. The only fight they have is when Five lied to her. I'm not saying they can't be sweet. But this is all sweetness. For me to buy this couple they need to lovingly bicker. Instead, they've both had personality transplants.

So they decide to go back to the greenhouse after 6 years 5 months and 2 days. Five admits to having the book 5 or 6 months on their 7th anniversary of being lost. Let's be generous and assume they kissed within a couple days of getting to the greenhouse, because they look reasonably settled. That means that best case, Five decided that after being in a relationship for less than 2 months, he was going to throw his whole family away and run away with Lila. That is a hell of a lot of commitment for a short relationship.

And keep in mind, it's not like their family is safe. Last they heard, they hadn't solved the Cleanse. So they're either actively in danger or dead. Five - The man who spent 45 years trying to save his family. Who survived decades in the apocalypse alone (minus Delores the mannequin) and murdered his way through time for the chance to get back and save them - is going to let his family die for a 2 month relationship. I call bullshit.

Also, I will give Five credit that he tried to stay on task during the fight with the Cleanse. He only seemed to fight in retaliation for Diego - he actively looked towards the fight at least once before Diego pulled his attention. But you're telling me he's ready to keep fighting Diego and is threatening to kill him over Lila? That his powers only work correctly after 7 years of having them back because Lila begged him? I once again call bullshit.

And Five was going off to mope alone and never come back and potentially let his family die from an active threat, all because Lila didn't pick him? That is not the Five I know.

I also feel like we maybe did all this arc to get Lila to the point where Five has to convince her to stay because no one else could even if she hates him for it, but still get her family on the train to get the planned ending. And that feels very clunky and I hate it.

Outside of plot lines - it is a bit disturbing to me that we're pairing up an actor whose barely an adult with a woman 15 years his senior - practically old enough to be his mother. This is a aside from the fact he's a what, 71 year old man internally at this point and Lila (if we assume even living at the commission she's a similar age to Diego) is in her early 40s by the time she kisses a physically mid-20s Five. There's so much about that I am not okay with I don't even know where to start.

I also hear the writers wanted a romance for Five. First, okay, then have a longer season. Develop a character for Five earlier on in the season or the show you can pair him with. God knows with that history and age issues it'll be tricky. But also frankly - why? Why does Five need a romantic love interest? He's been fueled by the love of his family and that's done so many impressive things out of love for them. Not everyone needs a romantic love of their life to find happiness and it feels very heteronormative (is that the word I want?) that we need to have that for Five. Give Five an apocalypse-free world and his family alive and then we can see what happiness he can find.

[rummels]

weight on my shoulders

relationships: platonic Reader & Chan & Changbin word count: ~2300 warnings: none tags: fluff, platonic intimacy, gender neutral reader summary: You're in a weird and uncomfortable headspace, your friends and flatmates Chan and Changbin help you with lots of soft affection and understanding.

read on ao3

You quietly plod into the living room, your feet hidden in thick fluffy socks causing you to sneak up to the couch unnoticed. Your frame is completely concealed by an oversized hoodie that reaches down to the middle of your thighs, tickling the back of your bare legs a bit when you stop a short distance away. You’re not sure if you like the feeling, it feels a bit like tiny zips of static prickle against your skin where the fabric brushes against you just the tiniest bit. It causes you to frown, huffing a tiny breath out of your nose. Everything feels a bit…off. The figure sitting on the couch hadn’t noticed you until now, engrossed in some TV show or movie, but the quiet noise makes the man look over to you.

“Hey,” Chan says softly, a warm smile tugging on his lips.

“I didn’t even notice you coming in. You wanna join me?”

He pats the space next to him in invitation, raising his eyebrows slightly in question and rearranging his position a bit so his legs are not stretched out across the couch. You tilt your head in a curious gesture and nod slightly, shuffling over and plomping yourself into the newly vacated spot, immediately leaning into Chan’s side. It’s not uncommon for you to seek out physical contact with your best friend and flatmate, the both of you sharing and enjoying skinship in a very loving yet platonic way.

It’s quiet for several minutes, Chan again taken in by whatever is shown on TV. You couldn’t care less, your brain going both zero and a thousand miles per minute, leaving you feeling a little overwhelmed and disoriented, not really knowing what to do with yourself while thoughts zip around in your head without you really being able to grab onto a single one of them. Chan’s hand unconsciously wanders across the back of the couch to you, his fingertips starting to slowly comb through the hair at your neck. You let out a low hum and close your eyes. This is nice. Somehow grounding. Just the tiniest bit, you push your head against the touch to encourage it and let Chan know to not stop his ministrations. He looks over to you again.

“Are you okay?” He looks a bit concerned. Usually you’re much more talkative, especially after a long day at work, wanting to share whatever annoyed or excited you that day or simply let out your annoyance about some frustrating project or other. Your brain rambles at you from the moment you wake up and simply letting your thoughts out and sharing them is often very relaxing to you, especially when you don’t have to be worried about being written off as an annoying chatterbox. Which you never have to worry about with Chan. Never had to, actually. So your continued silence is definitely raising some worries in your attentive friend.

You look at him, obviously giving the answer some thought before you scrunch your nose up and nod-shake your head in a definitely a little weird display of uncertainty. Immediately, Chan tunes in on you more, his whole body angling towards you a bit more while he studies your face.

“Did something happen?”

You shake your head no.

“Are you having a bad day?”

You shake your head again.

“Hm…are you getting sick?”

Again, a definite no, you shake your head.

“So simply a bad day maybe?”

You begin to negate that too when he hastily adds “You know that would be okay too, yeah? You can have a bad day without any reason and it’s still okay and valid. Some days are just fucked.”

A small grin sneaks onto your face, knowing he is about to quote one of those silly motivational Tiktoks you both send each other sometimes. He grins back, relieved at seeing your reaction.

“And there’s no way to unfuck them. Try again tomorrow,” he says and can’t stop himself from giggling a bit before ruffling your hair affectionately. You clear your throat, it feeling a bit scratchy after actually being silent for quite some time – you hadn’t even consciously realized that until now.

“Don’t worry, I’m not feeling bad, I’m just –“ You try to find the right words, frowning a bit, “-off? I don’t know,” you trail off, hoping he might understand. You yourself are not even able to understand it but Chan is smart, he gets people. And maybe he understands. Even if not, you know you don’t have to worry, he will simply accept it and will not try to force something out of you just for the sake of his own peace of mind.

You are proven right when he softly nods his head, his eyes deep in thought until he snaps back to you and gifts you one of his blinding smiles. “Come here, babygirl,” he says while pulling you over and manhandling you into a cuddling position against his side, halfway in his lap, his hands again finding themselves in your hair again. You make a little squawking noise at the pet name but your weird aversion to speaking right now is definitely not helping your protest. Factor in that Chan knows how much you actually secretly like the term of endearment? You’ve got no ground to stand on. The voices in your head have just started to discuss if this is something to be happy or disgruntled about when you feel his fingernails scratch against your scalp and you think you could start purring like a fucking cat any second now. Fuck this. There’s no snark left in you right now to defend yourself and you actually start to feel a tiny bit more like yourself so why bother?

Chan goes back to watching his show while holding you against himself, switching between softly combing through your hair with his fingers and giving you head scritches. You feel weirdly small, which seems a bit ridiculous to you considering you’re actually exactly the same height as him and also not exactly small in any other way. But it’s so nice, you melt more and more into him, your eyes drifting shut every now and then until your weird brain swirls manage to drag you up again.

By the time the front door opens and closes again, it has turned dark outside and Chan perks up, looking over the back of the couch towards the hallway.

“YA!” A shout echoes through the apartment, announcing the arrival of Changbin as he throws his backpack somewhere into the hallway.

You flinch at the sudden noise, also moving your head a bit but Chan suddenly has a rather firm grip in your hair and keeps you in place. Eyes widening, you feel like your pulse is suddenly going down in a very relaxing way. What the hell? The effect is too nice to fight against though, so you decide to go with it and stay where you are. Maybe Chan really does know best. Your own brain definitely doesn’t feel like it’s able to deal with any responsibilities and decisions right now.

“Tone it down, Binnie.” Chan’s voice vibrates against the side of your face. Huh, when did you slide all the way over to rest your face against his chest? You instinctively try to perk up again in surprise, you’ve also started to develop a bit of crick in the upper part of your back from the position you were in. This time Chan lets you but keeps his hand at the back of your neck which you are weirdly thankful for. Changbin chooses that moment to stick his head into the room and, seeing the two of you cuddled up on the couch, wiggles his eyebrows in a suggestive manner while smirking like the little gremlin he sometimes tends to be.

“You’re trying to win them over while I’m not home? Unfair business, Christopher,” he playfully scolds Chan and again you manage to smile. Yay, an emotion!

The two of them like to put up a whole charade of pretending to heroically and dramatically trying to win your heart over, each trying to ‘win’ against the other. All three of you are very much aware of the fact that this is all a game. You love them both to bits, would probably gladly cut off your own hand for them if the situation demanded it. But you’re also all very safe in the knowledge that nothing sexual would ever come into your relationship. Between you preaching about open and honest communication, Chan’s will to provide and care and give love and Changbin’s absolute lack of any kind of shame or reservations when it comes to feelings and affection, the three of you have created a very nurturing and loving environment in your shared apartment.

Chan’s chuckle is audible next to you before he speaks. “No wooing today, I’m just trying to cuddle y/n’s brain into submission because we’re feeling a bit weird today,” he explains, his thumb rubbing small circles into the soft skin under your ear while his hand lays on your neck.

“Oh no, do we have a scrambled brain today?” Changbin sits down next to you on the couch and leans closer, peering into your face like it may just give him all the answers on its own. You nod and pull a frowny face.

“They don’t like to talk right now.” Chan lets you out of his arms as you reach over for Changbin, going to lean your forehead against his big shoulder. But he reaches down and cups your face in his hands, holding it and looking at you while obviously thinking something over.

“Can I try something?” he ends up asking. “It might help but you need to tell me if you feel uncomfortable with it today, you know I will not be mad if you do, right?”

Having no clue which brilliant idea he has cooked up underneath those fluffy curls, you nod your head in agreement. You don’t need to worry, that much you definitely know.

Changbin hurries to shoo Chan off the couch and pushes you down with sure hands until you’re fully laying down. You only manage to look up at him for a couple of seconds before he is once again pulling and pushing at you until you end up on your stomach. He also tugs at your hoodie a bit until it doesn’t form any big creases against your body anymore and then you feel a warm hand at the small of your back.

“I will lay down on top of you now, is that okay?”, he asks softly and you feel a flutter of excitement in your chest. Yes. That would be perfect actually. Suddenly the fact that he’s not already settled on top of you seems almost cruel to you and you wiggle around a bit, nodding your head in clear agreement and permission.

He can’t help but poke your butt – of course he can’t – before crawling over you and then slowly letting all of his weight push down against you. You let out a small grunt of contentment, the air getting pushed out of your lungs and you feel like your bones turn into liquid. Perfect. This is exactly what you needed. Like putting on 3D glasses in the cinema, two separate yet connected, overlayered parts of yourself seem to finally slot together and begin to form a coherent version of yourself again. Changbin moves around a tiny bit still, finding the perfect spot and position to rest in while you turn your head to the side, peering into the dimly lit living room, your eyelids fluttering a bit.

Chan moves into your field of vision and crouches down to be at eye level with you. He’s got his signature ‘proud loving parent’ smile on and usually you would tease him for it – to hide how much you absolutely love get looked at like that – but right now it’s perfect for your mushy brain. He reaches out and tugs a bit on your hood.

“Would you like to put that on?”

You feel even less like talking right now, your body and mind almost like molasses. It’s a sweet, heady feeling and you smile, blinking slowly once and hoping he understands. He cocks his head to the side and raises an amused eyebrow.

“Is that a yes?”

You give a slow long blink again, probably smiling like an idiot. He chuckles and reaches over, slipping your hood over your head and arranging it in a way that makes you peek out of it like a little ferret out of its den. The fact that they know you so well, aware that you like to have your hearing muffled sometimes, feeling safe inside your hoodie, makes you so happy that you give another slow blink while contently scrunching up your nose with a smile. Chan boops it with his finger and stands up.

“You okay down there?”, you hear Changbin checking in from somewhere on top of you and you give a tiny wiggle so as to not accidentally throw him off of you but still answer his question ….somehow.

“Perfect. Just let me know when I should get up again, please don’t just yeet me off when it gets to be too much, alright?”

You wiggle again, completely settling in now and closing your eyes. Your head is not quiet, it never is when you’re awake. But right now there’s only a soft song buzzing in the back of your mind – you probably heard it somewhere on your way home – while you think about the new movie that’s running in the cinemas and you wanted to go to with both Chan and Changbin, your mind switching over to remember the time you all went to Changbin’s problematic cousin’s birthday party last month to crash it as a fake throuple, nearly sending the whole conservative side of his family into a collapse. Also there’s this brownie recipe Felix shared with you, maybe you’re gonna try that out tomorrow…

[repairgirl]

14. happy birthday, repair boy

word count: 2.6k

t/w: cursing, lots of angst

You put the last of the decorations up, taking a breath of relief for the first time in forever. The gang had offered to set up early with you, and of course, being the wonderful mom and hostess she is, Sally Jackson was more than eager to help around and lend her house as the party spot. Orange and black streamers and balloons hung from the ceiling, both of Leo’s favorite colors. The blue cake Percy had made was the centerpiece of the perfectly made table, with “Happy Birthday Repair Boy” in Piper’s messy handwriting written on it. Everything was perfect, except for one thing— your rocky “friendship” with Leo.

“How much longer till he’s here?” Piper asked. “He just thinks you guys are having a boys' game night, right?”

Percy nodded. “He’s only expecting Jason, Frank, and I. I can’t wait to see the look on his face.”

“Ten minutes,” Jason chimed in. “He just texted the group chat.”

“Ten minutes,” you repeated, mumbling under your breath. Ten minutes to pull yourself together, act normal, and put on a face for everyone.

The only person who seemed to notice your anxiety was Annabeth.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked, resting a hand on your back and leading you over to where Percy was sitting on the couch.

“I’m fine. Just worried,” you sighed. “How are we supposed to be normal in front of fifty people when we can’t even be normal when we’re alone?”

“I promise it will be okay,” she reassured. “You don’t have to put on a face for me, or anyone. Speak your truth, and if things get too hard, we can just escape to Percy’s room. Right, Percy?”

Percy grinned. “Of course, y/n. And if he does something to hurt you again, I’ll drown him next time he takes a bath.”

Annabeth smacked him. “Don’t say that!”

You smiled for the first time since getting to the party. “Thanks, Mom and Dad.”

Percy ruffled your hair, and Annabeth wrapped you in a side hug. “Of course, babe.”

Just then, a ring was heard at the doorbell.

“Quick, everyone hide!” Piper yelled. People scrambled, and Sally hit the lights as she opened the door for Leo.

“Um, hello?” he said, walking into the apartment.

“SURPRISE!” everyone shouted at once, turning the lights on to reveal the amazing setup. “Happy birthday, Leo!”

Leo put his hands to his heart dramatically. “Wow, all of this, just for little old me?”

“Unfortunately, we do care about you,” Frank replied, rolling his eyes. Hazel just giggled.

“Of course you do, of course you do,” Leo encouraged. “And who is responsible for all of this?”

Annabeth pushed you towards him. “Y/n is. She planned the whole thing and decorated the whole place. We just assisted.”

You stuck your tongue out back at her. “Give yourself and Percy some credit, Wise Girl. It wasn’t all me.”

“Wow, really?” Leo said, taking a step towards you, and looking you in the eyes for the first time in what felt like ages. “Thank you, y/n. I mean really, thank you. This is incredible.”

You smiled and wrapped him in a hug, finally feeling okay. His warm embrace brought a familiar red blush to your face, an embrace you haven’t felt in so long. A wash of relief filled your body and you never wanted to let go.

Leo pulled away and locked eyes with you. “I’m sorry for being weird. There’s just been so much stuff going on, and I’ve been really confused about my feelings lately, and I’m working on building a new project, which is stressing me out, and—”

Cutting him off, you hugged him again, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your head in his shoulder, nearly knocking him over.

“Shut up, repair boy. It’s okay.”

“It’s okay?”

“Yeah.”

“And we’re okay?”

“Yeah.”

He wrapped his arms around your waist, and everyone cheered.

“Fucking FINALLY!” Piper yelled. “Now, let’s get this party started!”

Being in a whole new headspace, the party was a blast. Piper blared Top 40’s hits and set up pong in the kitchen while the boys really did play video games in the Percy’s room. In addition to the seven, Nico, Will, and Rachel, just about everyone showed up. Reyna, Thalia, Nyssa, Connor, Travis, and even Grover made a surprise guest appearance from his world environmentalist tour. Percy was thrilled and tackled him in a hug upon his arrival (Sally, unphased, knew all along).

The night got even better when you were sitting on the couch, absentmindedly scrolling through TikTok when Leo joined you, plopping right next to you.

“Hey mamacita,” he said, casually putting his arm around you and filling you with that oh-so-familiar butterfly feeling. Everything was finally as it should be. But surely, things couldn’t be that easy. Could they?

You smiled, your nose crinkling. “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing, just the fact that my best friend in the whole world hasn’t personally wished me a happy birthday yet. I am eighteen now, you know. Can do legal adult things like…uh… sending you to jail for this.”

You playfully punched him in the arm. “Eighteen is when you can go to jail, not send people to jail, you dork. And, I planned and threw this whole thing, just for you. Is that not ‘happy birthday’ enough?”

Leo raised an eyebrow. “Nuh-uh. Not until I explicitly hear it from you and you only.”

“Happy birthday, drama queen,” you replied, smiling. “But if you had been patient enough to wait, you would have heard me say it upon giving you your gift.”

His ears immediately perked up. “Gift?”

“Yes, stupid.”

He inched closer to you, his face a mere inches from yours. “Why can’t I have it now?”

You pushed him away by the chest, giggling. Doing that delicate dance of friends-but-not, just like you used to.

“You are literally two years old. I’m giving it to you along with everyone else, later. Promise it’s worth it.”

He sighed, defeated. “Whatever you say.”

Just then, you heard a noise behind you.

“Psst!”

You glanced around, seeing where it came from. Across the room was Piper, frantically gesturing for you to go over to her. You rolled your eyes in fake annoyance.

“Looks like I’m being paged. Catch you later, repair boy,” you said, heading over to her. “Hey, Pipes. What’s up?”

She linked her arm with yours. “Come play pong with the girls and me.”

She led you over to the pong table, where Annabeth and Hazel were already set up.

“Us versus them,” Piper explained. “First to get plastered beyond comprehension wins.”

You grinned. “I’m in.”

The game started, with Hazel missing and Annabeth landing her ball perfectly in you and Piper’s cup, pumping her fist in the air. The game progressed, and after ten minutes or so, everyone was just tipsy enough to be giggly and bad at the game. But for the group of girls that consisted of your best friends, something seemed off.

“We’re awfully quiet,” you retorted. “What, am I in trouble or something?”

Hazel sighed, putting both of her hands on the table in a serious manner and locking eyes with you. “Y/N. You know we love you very much, right?”

Almost immediately, you sobered up. “Oh god. This isn’t an intervention, is it?”

“No, no, no!” Annabeth clarified. “Nothing like that. It’s just, um,”

“Were you really planning on forgiving him that quickly?” Piper blurted.

You threw your hands up in frustration. “I thought you guys were JUST telling me to try and move on and not let things get to me!”

“We were!” Hazel replied. “It’s just that things just seemed to happen a little quick. That’s all.”

She came over to put a hand on your shoulder. “We just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Girls, I am TOTALLY fine,” you insisted. “I’m not falling again. We’re just friends. Like we used to be.”

Annabeth and Hazel exchanged nervous glances, but Piper seemed satisfied with that answer. She squeezed your hand.

“Okay, babes. Whatever you say.”

Just then, Percy walked over from his bedroom where the boys were playing Mario Kart, Jason, Nico, Will, Leo, Grover, and the Stolls trailing behind him like baby ducklings. He clapped his hands obnoxiously. “Presents time! Circle ‘round.”

You and the girls giggled as you walked over, making a circle on the fuzzy blue rug in the living room like you were all in elementary school again. Everyone grabbed their gifts and got situated, Leo squishing on one side of you and Piper on the other.

Leo rubbed his hands together in anticipation. “It’s about time! I want Y/N’s first,” he stated.

“No way,” Piper retorted. “Save the best for last.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

“I hate you.”

“I hate you back.”

The night progressed as Leo opened gifts from everyone, perfectly reflecting their friendships. Percy got him a waterproof pocket multi-tool, Piper got him a shirt with a ‘your mom’ joke on it (which Leo loved and laughed hysterically at, don’t worry), Annabeth got him a giant architect’s book of blueprints for projects they could work on together, Frank got him mints that supposedly lower your voice (no surprise there), and so on. Finally, it was your turn.

You were feeling a thousand different emotions— anxiety, excitement, nervousness, anticipation, fear, and so many more. Trying not to let any of these emotions show, you handed him your bag, drunkenly rambling about the present inside.

“So, I know I’m not as good at making things as you, but I really did try, and you might think it’s stupid, and—”

He cut you off, flashing that warm smile that made the butterflies in your stomach flutter every time. “Y’n. I’m sure it’s perfect. Nothing to worry about.”

Your shoulders sagged and you sighed in relief, but the relief was only temporary. Right as his hand was on the first bit of wrapping paper, ready to grab and open it, a ring was heard at the door.

Percy frowned, getting up to answer it. “We weren’t expecting anyone else. Give me a second,” he said.

Before opening the door he glanced in the peephole, and upon lifting his head away from the door, he looked sick. His face was almost as green as Poseidon’s seaweed castle.

Anxiously, he waved Annabeth over. She peered into the peephole the same way he did, looking equally as nauseous afterward.

The two whisper-shouted nervously, causing you to hear mumbles of “What the hell are we supposed to do?”, and, “We can’t just leave her there, can we?”

Piper and Annabeth locked eyes, and you could tell a silent understanding passed between them. You felt like everyone in the room knew who was at the door except for you.

Annabeth sighed. “Just open it, Percy. What else can we do?”

Nothing on earth could have prepared you for who was at the door. There she was, wearing a beautiful white gown that was way too dressy for the event, her silky caramel hair pulled back into a braided bun. And worst of all, she was carrying the perfect gift: a stuffed animal replica of Festus. Why hadn’t you thought of that?

All of your worst insecurities encapsulated into a single person: Calypso.

Your jaw dropped to the floor.

Before anyone could say anything, she made her grand entrance.

“Surprise! I’ve come to celebrate my favorite boy’s birthday!” she shouted.

Leo immediately shot up. “Calypso, w-what are you doing here?”

She smiled an evil smirk. “I told you I’d be in town, didn’t I? How could I resist saying hi to you? I just want to make up, repair boy!”

“How’d you know where we were?” Percy growled.

She batted her eyelashes, attempting to put a spell on him. It didn’t work. “Don’t you remember, Perce? Me and you, we used to have a thing. Back in the day. Before she came along,” she sneered, giving Annabeth a nasty look.

Percy had to physically restrain her. “Oh, it is on.”

“Calypso, no one wants you here,” Frank chimed in. “Just leave.”

You stood up, fuming and gaining a sense of self-respect for the first time since she arrived.

“Are we sure no one wants her here?” you said, stepping towards Leo, ready to let everything loose you had been holding in for the past few weeks.

Hazel tugged at your shirt, looking up at you anxiously. “Y/N, you’re drunk. Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”

You pushed her hand away. “No, Hazel. I need to do this.”

Leo nervously glanced at you. “What do you mean, y/n?” he said, stuttering his words.

“Clearly, you’d want her here at least a little bit, considering you’ve been talking to her and entertaining her behind my back. For weeks, now.”

Everyone gasped, and Piper’s hand loudly flew over her mouth.

“How did you know that?” Leo asked, inching away from you.

You stepped closer to him. “Oh, so it is true. So even when I’ve done everything for you, done nothing but be there and support you always, and take you back a million times, you’d still choose her over me? Really?”

“Y/N, it’s not like that, really, I promise, I told her no, it’s—”

“Oh, and I can’t forget,” you said, glancing at Percy and Annabeth, “I had to find out from other people. Friends who actually care about me. Since my so-called best friend couldn’t be bothered to.”

Leo’s eyes widened. “Percy? Really? C’mon, man!”

Percy put his hands up in defense. “If two of my friends are fighting, I’m always going to be on the side of the friend that’s being less shitty.”

Annabeth nodded in agreement. “And for all of the emotional damage you’ve caused her, it’s pretty clear to see who’s the shitty one.”

Leo put his head in his hands. From the doorway, Calypso giggled, enjoying all the chaos she had just caused. You had forgotten she was even there.

You walked over to her. “And don’t even get me started on you,” you growled. “Do you really think you can just march back into his life like no time has passed? Where were you when he was crying to us every day of spring break, heartbroken over your sorry ass? And now you show your face for the first time in months on his fucking birthday? Has anyone ever told you no in your entire life?”

Her face turned pale, but her fear was only temporary, and she regained her arrogant confidence within a matter of seconds.

“Of course I can do whatever I want,” she claimed. “And I’ll prove it right now. So Leo, do us a favor and make this easy for all of us and choose, in front of everyone: me, or her?”

It was so silent you could hear a pin drop. No one dared make a noise, for fear of getting caught in the crossfire.

Leo’s eyes darted between the two of you, unable to say a word. “I—”

“Save it,” you said, grabbing your bag and the gift with it and getting ready to go. “I’m done hearing your sorry excuses. Because right now, Leo Valdez, you and I are done.”

With that, you ran out the door and into the apartment hallway, ignoring Piper, Hazel, and Annabeth’s cries asking you to wait. You blared music in your ears, muting your notifications getting on the nearest train, and doing whatever possible to get home as quickly as possible. As soon as you were in your cozy apartment, you collapsed on your bed, alone for the first time in forever.

And then you cried.

yours truly || leo valdez x fem!reader smau

a/n: and there it is!! i know this chapter is lowkey corny and SO cinematic but I couldn’t help doing so for the big buildup. i hope you enjoy!!!

masterlist < previous > next

leo taglist: @slytherindaughterofposeidon0​ @persephil​ @mmmelanie-blog1​ @blue-violin​ @goldengoddess​ @dee-zbignuts​ @animes-trash​ @vintagebitc @nottherealslimshady​ @vermilioneyess​

yours truly taglist: @itsnottilly​ @togethcr @katrin-okay​ @officialfictionalwreck​ @sunshineandshadowss​ @the-swageyama-tobiyolo​ @lilredpanda29​ @goldengoddess​ @dee-zbignuts​ @animes-trash​ @toffytastee @marshmallow12435​ @dont-get-upset​ @cellias​ @breadbrobin​ @didi073 @haox​ @broadwayismydrug​ @burrito-fight​

[puppy-stevee]

✨ stranger things fic rec pt 1 ✨

part 2 | part 3

mostly steddie with some ronance/fruity four/platonic stobin sprinkled in. heed the ratings, there's a healthy amount of smut.

fics in this installment: 65

fics in total: 196

as per usual:

-all fics are in alphabetical order

-please tell me if the links are broken/linked wrong

more fic recs

my own works

and, as always, please leave kudos and comments, and reblog this post!

'86 baby - T, 2.5k, 1/1, complete

hydrangea_bush

Eddie is finally graduating and is prepared to walk up to Principal Higgins, flip him the bird, and snatch his diploma.

Steve doesn't know any of this is about to go down and is just proudly waiting for his boyfriend to graduate.

"Steve Harrington Corrupted By Eddie Munson - Sounds like a Hawkins Headline" - E, 7.5k, 1/1

krwaken

"Harrington, what the hell are you thinking about down there?"

Steve grins up at the ceiling, languid and sated. He feels so fucking good. Every muscle in his body is relaxed, practically turning him into a melted puddle in the middle of Eddie's trailer. The carpet underneath him is soft and plush, and maybe a little outdated, but Steve swears he could sleep here for an entire year. He runs his open palms along the shag, letting out a contented noise - somewhere between a hum and a moan.

"God, you're so fucking high," Eddie says.

(you're my) bone to pick - E, 2.6k, 1/1

bdelaney

Kinktober Day 30: Pet Play

“How about this?” he says into the top of Steve’s head. “I’m gonna go get our food, and you stay here–” Steve cuts him off with a whine, and the hand running through his hair suddenly grips him firmly. “You’re going to stay here and get out of your work clothes. And then when I get home, if you’ve been a good boy, I’ll put your collar on.”

Any remaining tension seeps from Steve’s body fast enough to leave him feeling a bit lightheaded. He chances a glance up to see Eddie smirking softly down at him, eyes knowing as he watches Steve already beginning to slip into that headspace at the mere mention of his collar.

“That’s what I thought,” he says quietly before kissing Steve’s forehead. “Alright, up we go. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”

4B - T, 4k, 1/1

andthentheybow

One of them is in college, Josh and Maisie are pretty sure, at Emerson. The other three work an odd variety of hours. They have a large amount of makeshift weapons littered where anyone can grab them, they’re all covered in scars, and whenever the lights in the hallway flicker they jump about three feet in the air.

Or, the kids that live in apartment 4B are weird.

5 times someone noticed Steve and Eddie and 1 time everyone noticed - G, 6/6

kermittheshipper

5 times somebody notices Steve and Eddie being completely and irrevocably in love and 1 time everyone notices

A Bad Day - T, 6.3k, 1/1

Abigailcantread

Steve’s friends don’t know he’s struggling and he reaches his breaking point

or

Steve has a very bad day and someone’s there to help

A Bracelet - G, 2.6k, 1/1

mewtoz

Steve is making a bracelet for Eddie and he really hopes his boyfriend will like it.

a criminal like me (and a princess like you) - T, 3.3k, 1/1

roosevelt

When Eddie comes into Family Video on one hot, boring summer day in Hawkins, long after the danger has passed and things have gotten back to normal, the last thing he expected was for Steve to invite him over his place to watch The Breakfast Club.

And the last thing either of them expected was what came after the movie.

a lunchbox full of drugs and pretzels - G, 606, 1/1

Lullabyebye

Eddie gets an actual lunch instead of just pretzels.

A Quiet (distracting) Morning - N/A, 1k, 1/1

slythekiel

A sweet rainy morning between Eddie and Steve as Eddie prepares for the next session of his campaign. Sweetness ensues.

A Secret World, My Secret Love - M, 6/6

RandomThingsInLife

Steve curses everything that led him here. Here being stuck in a Russian elevator, he was supposed to be with his fucking boyfriend tonight.

In other words, Steve's been dating Eddie for a bit, and he really wishes Dustin wasn't quite so curious.

Eddie has no clue what's going on, his boyfriend has been beat to hell and maybe drugged, and every word someone says just adds more confusion.-In other words, Eddie loves his boyfriend, but he really, really needs someone to tell him what the fuck is going on.

ahoy there - E, 7.4k, 1/1

starryskeyess

“Alright, Munson, let’s hear it,” Steve says, beckoning at Eddie. “Do your worst.”

Eddie blinks at him a few times, hiding half his face in his drink as he eyes Steve from head to toe. Everything about Eddie is intense, and the way he looks at Steve right now is no exception. Blatant and interested and heated.

Steve shudders at the look, so direct it feels like a physical touch, but he doesn’t back down.

Eventually Eddie smiles at him, wide and playful, and asks, “So when do you set sail, big boy?”

all at once it feels so right - M, 3.7k, 1/1

deadratz

Robin has never kissed anyone and is terrified of doing it wrong. Steve and Eddie both offer to give their best friend a (completely platonic) kiss to show her it's not so bad, but it ends up being too weird, and too funny of a situation for them.

Nancy ends up being the one to help Robin out.

Steve realizes that he might still be hurt over how his relationship with Nancy ended, and feels just a bit overprotective over Robin.

Eddie helps Steve.

All I Ask - M, 8.2k, 1/1

god_hates_tyler (@bisexual-cryptid)

Eddie will not stop calling Steve silly little pet names, which is really not helping the massive crush he has on him. He gets super flustered whenever he does it and makes a bit of a fool of himself in the process. Thankfully Eddie seems to like him anyway.

always a lonely boy (cry, boy, cry) - T, 2/2

riceenthusiast

If Steve got called an asshole one more time Robin would lose her actual mind. This was her official warning. The last chance everyone got to clear their fucking act before she snapped.

(Boy, did she snap.)

OR: Robin is sick of everyone putting Steve down and calling him an asshole (Steve was sick too but in a different way). She finally snaps when she has to comfort him after a breakdown.

Amantium irae amoris integratio est - T, 2.7k, 1/1

hellabifurious

Eddie and Steve didn't fight. It wasn't an official rule they'd written down somewhere, stuck on the fridge between the chore chart and the grocery list. Yet by a certain point, it simply felt like a rule of the universe, the ones that governed space and time and held together the sun and moon and stars.

Max allowed that to comfort her; coming home every day to Steve and Eddie's at most playful bickering allowed her to find solid land when everything around her was spinning out of control.

Naturally, when she heard the shouting, her stomach turned to lead.

And I'm Sorry I Left, But It Was For The Best (Thought It Never Felt Right) - T, 3k, 1/1

Babybuckleydiaz

“Oh darling, what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” Questioned the curly haired man, and Steve wishes he could put it into words what’s going on in his head right now.

“Can I braid your hair?” He asks instead, and he expects to get questioned more or for Eddie to try and keep them on topic, but that isn’t at all the reality that he is faced with right now. Instead, Eddie smiles so softly and filled with nothing but understanding as he nods his head in silent agreement because he knows how Steve’s mind works.

- - -

“Tommy called me today, he wanted to try and be friends again.”

- - -

Steve pauses and smiles softly before he answers. “For loving me.” Is the response that he gets, and Eddie’s gaze softens into something filled with pure unadulterated love that he holds for the man sitting pretty on the couch in front of him. The corners of his mouth twitch upwards as he responds.

“You never need to thank me for that. I do it happily, lovely.”

- - -

aka: steve having a bad day and eddie is a wonderful partner

Babygirl and Sunshine - T, 2.7k, 1/1

made_of_tea

He squatted next to the bush, giving Eddie a good view of his thighs. "Anyway, why are you in a bush?"

"Henderson thinks you have a girlfriend, and we're all spying to see if you meet up with her during your morning jog," Eddie explained.

~~~

The Party thinks Steve has a girlfriend. Little do they know, the "girlfriend" is actually a boy. And that boy is Eddie Munson.

Back to the Light - T, 2.7k, 1/1

analogical9954

Dustin has a terrible nightmare about that night and there's only one place he can think to go: Steve's.

Backer? I Hardly Know Her! - T, 1k, 1/1

alligator_writes (@riality-check)

"'I quit dealing illegal shit,' Eddie says. 'Now I just get alcohol and backer for high school kids who want to party a bit.'

'Backer?'

Eddie looks at Steve like he’s stupid. 'The shit that goes in cigarettes? I know you’ve been clocked in the head a lot, but you’re not that dumb, sweetheart.'

Rude, Steve thinks to himself, then says, 'Do you mean tobacco?'

'Yeah. Backer.' Eddie has the beginnings of a shit-eating grin on his face."

AKA an incredibly niche fic in which Steve and Eddie compare their accents. (you don't need to read the first work in the series to read this one)

Bad Timing and a Good Audience - T, 5.1k, 1/1

MonstrumOstendere

After an enlightening conversation, Chrissy finds out Eddie likes Steve. Steve also finds out. Robin is just along for the ride.

be my baby ( never half & always whole. ) - G, 3.4k, 1/1

peachyyjacobs

“Don’t need you choking on your own vomit in case you throw up,” Eddie says softly, and Steve thinks he hears an underlying tone of pain somewhere in there.

“Mm ‘kay,” Steve mumbles, gazing up at Eddie through half-lidded eyes. The blurriness is starting to subside a little bit, but not all that much.

Eddie sits down next to him, his back resting against Steve’s headboard. “How are you feeling?” Eddie asks, voice soft as he looks down at Steve. His hair is curlier, frizzier, even. “Your hair looks so curly,” Steve says, curbing Eddie’s question completely. A shocked laugh is ripped from Eddie’s throat, looking down at Steve in bewilderment. “I like it when you laugh,” Steve tacks on, before Eddie can say anything in rebuttal to him.

A rose blush dusts over Eddie’s cheeks. He shifts where he sits. He clears his throat, “you do?” He asks. Steve nods, a dopey look of his own falling across his face. “Yeah, ‘s loud…Like you, like you own the whole room when you laugh.”

or, a party at Steve's soon turns into something much softer.

besides all the glamour (all we got was bruised) - M, 9.6k, 1/1

haushinka_love

He knew, through rumors and jokes and the literal handcuffs hanging on his wall that Eddie liked things rough. Probably liked his partners rough and strong and durable in a way Steve hadn’t been since the first time he swung a baseball bat full of rusty nails at a monster from an alternate dimension. Since Jonathan and Billy and several unnamed Russian officers had each taken a turn at making mincemeat of his face. Since chipped teeth and concussions and broken bone after broken bone. For all his bravado, for all the time he spent chasing down demons and play-acting a hero, he knew the second Eddie laid his hands on him, he would crumble, and he just couldn’t live with the shame of having his chance and ruining it because he couldn’t keep up.

Or, the one in which Eddie Munson lives and Steve Harrington learns that it’s okay to want.

but yours has just begun - E, 1.3k, 1/1

limerental

The plates rattle in the cabinets. The trailer's kitchen is glowing orange like fire while the sun tracks to the black edge of the horizon, and Steve can't dance for shit, always gets a little deer in the headlights when Eddie tries to hip chuck him into it. Slow, Steve puts his hands up high on Eddie's waist and tries to move with him, clumsy as shit but earnest, and Jesus Christ, Eddie wants to keep this guy snug in his pocket and feed him kitchen scraps. Get him a collar. Tug.

Calamity's Child - T, 3.6k, 1/1

glorious_spoon

It’s 10:15 on a Sunday morning, and Steve is on Eddie Munson’s couch.

More specifically: Steve is on Eddie Munson’s couch, in his boxer shorts and a shirt that's clearly been slept in, eating dry cereal out of the box and blinking slowly at the TV, which is currently playing WWF. His hair is more of a mess than Dustin has ever seen it outside of literal fights to the death. Eddie himself is nowhere to be seen.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Dustin demands, dropping his backpack just inside the door.

Candle in a Window on a Cold Dark Winter's Night - G, 6/6

Shadowmouth

Five times Steve (and Eddie) spontaneously come out and one time they plan it.

come lie with me and let silence treat us kindly - T, 3.6k, 1/1

flowercrowngods

Eddie learns that sometimes Steve will just lie down on the floor and simply exist while the world around him continues. The Party know that, call it "floor time", and generally leave him be until Steve is ready to be back. Eddie doesn't mind, because it offers him even more opportunities to just look at him. To watch him.

That is, until Eddie himself is in dire need of just lying down and letting the floor work its apparent magic. It's a good thing, he finds, that Steve understands him without as many words and is very ready to just take care of him. Eddie might be a little bit in love, actually.

Or: In which they lie on the floor and take care of each other, falling in love somewhere along the way between music and silence.

Come up for air, you pull me to the floor - E, 2.2k, 1/1

L3gitD3ntist

He looked like cogs were spinning in his head, his gaze locked on Steve and weighted with longing. Steve raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off as Eddie’s expression shifted towards a grin; wide and wolffish.

“Y’know, it’s not every day I get to see Steve Harrington on his knees in front of me.”

His voice had deepened, words followed with a low approving whistle.

“And my, my, my; what a view.”

Contact - T, 1.3k, 1/1

jesskier

AU where it’s still 1986 but everything is normal.

Steve and Eddie run and hide from Jason & his goons under the high school bleachers.

Critical Hit - E, 7.1k, 1/1

AidaRonan

Steve shows up to play DnD.

Eddie decides Steve can stay. IF 'King Steve' recognizes the real lord and master of Hellfire.

Dee - N/A, 731, 1/1

demon_spirals

“Close your eyes.”

“What was that now, Stevie?”

“You heard me! Close ‘em!”

Dirty Laundry - T, 4.3k, 1/1

sparrow_in_hawkins

Eddie is excited for Steve to attend a Corroded Coffin gig for the first time, even if it includes fighting off other guys who want to hit on Steve.

Disarmed - T, 1.5k, 1/1

crow_of_crimes

When Robin and Steve volunteer to drive Murray back to Illinois, he may have met his match, a case he finally can't crack.

Or, Murray tries to break down Robin and Steve's "relationship", but it's more of a challenge.

don't make me regret this, dingus - G, 1.7k, 1/1

kermitwashingtonlincon

The King of Hawkins High takes the Weirdest Girl in Hawkins to prom

Don't Tell Steve - T, 3.9k. 1/1

Blapblaps

Fourth of July is just around the corner, and Eddie’s determined to make it the perfect day for everyone. The best way to do that is to give the kids their own fireworks display, but the only way to do that is to keep his boyfriend calm, cool, and collected. Can’t be too difficult, right?

Double Date at the Haunted Corn Maze - T, 2.8k, 1/1

Asimplewriterlivingasimplelife2

It’s Friday night and instead of having a double date to the midnight showing of Evil Dead, Steve was standing in line for the annual Hawkins Haunted Corn Maze.

Drive Me Crazy - T, 1.7k, 1/1

Asimplewriterlivingasimplelife2

"You sure know how to drive a guy crazy Steve-O."

"Yeah?"

-

Steve and Eddie make out in the Staff Room at Family Video and get to be happy

Dying for Another Taste - N/A, 7.3k, 1/1

the_departed_one

Eddie likes to think he’s not an overly judgmental person. He prefers to take his time and fully learn someone before deciding anything about them. It’s the same grace he wishes Hawkins and all her judgmental residents had given him before writing him off as the freak. But whatever, that doesn’t matter. He’ll still give them the benefit of the doubt first, even the ones who shouldn’t get it.

The most notable exception to that is one Steve Harrington.

Or, Eddie finally learns about what the Russians did to Steve and Robin.

End of Beginning - T, series

FreshLoaf

“This is dedicated to my husband, who, at the beginning, only ever heard the shitty versions of these songs and still believed in me anyway.”

The crowd roars, and Steve hears a couple of their Chicago friends near the stage boo in jest. Eddie narrows his eyes at them and laughs.

Steve looks around at this bar that their family has shared so many memories in - he tries and fails to not let his heart overflow at the sight of so many people coming to see Eddie play in the same bar that housed empty gigs not that long ago.

He wills himself not to cry.

-

Eddie wins a Grammy, finishes an album and comes home for a secret gig - and in the arms of their old haunt, Steve surprises him.

Family is Built, not Born - N/A, 3.7k, 1/1

just_a_garbage_dump

When an argument between Steve and his father ends badly, he turns to his boyfriend for support, but instead finds Wayne, who turns out to not be half bad.

feel the magic (there's something that drives me wild) - T, 1.8k, 1/1

fivecenturiesverse

Robin is drunk and not for the first time wishes she could fall in love with Steve Harrington. Wishes she was 'normal'.

It’s dumb, really dumb, that she still wants to crow to the whole of Hawkins High that she knows what Steve looks like in the morning, in his boxers, coming out of the shower. She still wants to be normal, and it stings sometimes so harshly she thinks she might cry, that she’s never going to swoon over Steve’s arms or his stupid hair.

Fight So Dirty (But You Love So Sweet) - E, 4.2k, 1/1

god_hates_tyler (@bisexual-cryptid)

Eddie ties Steve up and marks up his chest before fucking him stupid.

First Timer - E, 2k, 1/1

ZachwyBuwnzie

Steve and Eddie do it for the first time

Forget About - M, 2k, 1/1

theoldhouse

Eddie laughed. And Steve saw the light come back into his face.

The light was beautiful.

-

Steve and Eddie share a tender moment in the RV.

four walls - T, 2.5k, 1/1

shroooms

“You got a lotta stuff,” Steve remarks, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, arms behind his back.

Eddie’s cheeks grow red. “Yeah, stuff just sorta piles up in here,” he takes a seat at the edge of his bed. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve done any kind of deep cleaning around here so, sorry for the mess.”

“No, no — it’s fine, man, it’s cool. Your room’s cool. I like it,” Steve reassures.

-

steve, eddie, and home

Fragile (Handle With Care) - E, series

LexiRoseWrites (@lexirosewrites)

All it takes is getting dragged to one Corroded Coffin concert for Steve’s life to change forever. Now he has to find a way to navigate a newfound romance with his famous soulmate while dealing with his complicated past and mothering a pack of preteen pups.

full time daddy, white and gold - E, 1.4k, 1/1

bdelaney

“You think we finally knocked you up?”

The words take a second to register in Steve’s post-orgasm haze, but then…

Oh.

get you back (by my side) - T, 3.9k, 1/1

fivecenturiesverse

Eddie hasn't spoken to Gareth and the others since whatever went down with Chrissy Cunningham, now Gareth sees him playing basketball with Steve Harrington and a bunch of kids, what the fuck is going on?

Sinclair sighs longingly.

“Okay, man, I can get behind you on the sweet and salty,” says Gareth, “but New Coke?”

“He was crazy for it,” says Harrington, grinning all fond at the back of Sinclair’s head like he’s retelling the story of his toddler’s foray into the world of art and talking Gareth through all the monstrosities in pride of place on the fridge. “Weird kid.”

Eddie is smiling at the side of Harrington’s face and Jesus Christ, Gareth never wants to meet another gay man in his whole life if their taste is Steve fucking Harrington.

get you wild, make you leave ( a little much for everyone. ) - G, 3.2k, 1/1

peachyyjacobs

“Hey,” he murmurs, slowly sitting up. Eddie whips his head to look in Steve’s direction, eyes wide and wild. He looks scared. “What’s up?” Steve whispers, more than ready to help. Eddie just shakes his head, his arms wrapped tightly around his torso. Steve glances over at the clock, barely able to see the big hand pointed at the six, and the little hand pointed at two.

“It’s two thirty, Munson. Did you have a nightmare?” Steve asks inquisitively.

And finally, Eddie opens his mouth to speak. “No,” comes his defensive reply, but Steve sees right through him.

or, it's movie night at the Wheeler's, but Steve's got something in store for him.

Getting Eddie Munson to graduate, and other acts of herosim - M, 7/7

liionne

It had only been about two weeks since Vecna and their trip to the upside down and everything had just… gone back to normal. As it always did. Life went on. The kids went back to school, he and Robin went back to work, Nancy and Jonathon were getting ready for college and Eddie…

Apparently, no one thought to check in on Eddie.

Recovering from first-time exposure wasn't easy, especially not when your return meant trying to graduate high school for the third time, so Steve decides he's going to do whatever it takes to help Eddie Munson graduate, even if it means re-learning 12th grade U.S History, and learning some things about himself along the way.

Good Dog - E, 7.8k, 1/1

PuppyKTae

Eddie calls Steve a "golden retriever boyfriend." Steve likes that a little more than he probably should.

Aka: Eddie calls Steve a good girl ❤

Handcuffs and Pleasant Surprises - E, 5k, 1/1

thefatedthoughtofyou

Steve accidentally handcuffs himself to Eddie's bed. It might be the best day of Eddie's life.

Happy Birthday, Will Byers. - T, 2.4k, 1/1

jesskier

“You forgot Will’s birthday?!”

The look on Steve’s face is nothing short of flabbergasted, and Eddie can’t exactly blame him. El and Mike are staring back at them with wide, guilty eyes and he would never touch a hair on El’s head but he kind of wants to backhand Wheeler.

“We only just moved to California and it was very difficult,” El continues, tears welling in her giant, brown eyes. “He is like my brother and I would like to make it up to him.”

“Yeah,” Mike chimes in, gesturing at El with his thumb. “It was kind of distracting when El knocked a girl in the head with a roller skate.”

All three of them glare at Mike. El opens and closes her mouth a few times, apparently at a loss for words. Eddie takes an aggressive step forward. He’s never hit a kid but if he were going to it would be Wheeler, definitely.

Before he can speak his mind, Steve steps between them, coming to the rescue (which is so very him that it makes Eddie’s chest ache). “Okay!” He claps his hands and rolls up his shirt sleeves. “Here’s what we’re gonna do.”

have yourself a merry little christmas (far away from a hallmark card) - E, 9/9

JeanElaineGrey

Steve Harrington hates Christmas. Not in a Scrooge-y, Grinch-y way, but in a "my parents are never home for holidays" way. Eddie notices and worries.

He Can Handle It - T, 2.4k, 1/1

Tricker86

His parents weren’t supposed to be back for another four days, they didn’t come home early unless something happened. The last time they’d come home early was when the "earthquakes" happened, but they didn’t come home because they were worried. No, they came home because since he had been missing he was considered a suspect of murder. His parents had been furious, demanding to know why he was careless enough to let the family name be tarnished by his actions. Almost an exact replica of what they’d said the time before when they came home early because Steve had gotten suspended for getting in a fist fight with Billy Hargrove during basketball practice.

This time though there wasn’t a fight with Billy Hargrove. There wasn’t an "earthquake". There wasn’t anything other than the fact that for the past nine months he had been dating Eddie Munson.

Steve knows they know. He doesn’t know how but they know.

-

Steve's parents find out that he's dating Eddie. He doesn't know how they found out but he can't take it anymore. He doesn't care what they think or what they do. Whatever happens, he can handle it.

Head Over Heels - T, 3.5k, 1/1

possumrug

Vecna is gone. Highschool is over. Everything seems to be back on track for Eddie and Steve. But with Halloween just around the corner, what harm can a little relaxing do?

hideout series - E, series

ghosttotheparty (@ghosttotheparty)

steve and eddie fall in love pre-season two. steve keeps eddie away from the whole upside down mess, but of course he gets involved eventually. it was inevitable.

home - G, 2.6k, 1/1

peaktotheocean

Eddie was well aware that his ideas of romance were vastly different from that of the general population. Metal, for one-- super romantic music in Eddie's opinion.

His partner showing up to a metal festival after a twelve hour shift teaching/babysitting a bunch of five year olds, not even changed or showered from his day, covered in paint that he was never going to get out of his favorite sweater vest? The most romantic thing Eddie could think of.

Home (Music Box) - G, 1.7k, 1/1

eajsabandoned_acc

Steve Harrington hated hospitals with a burning passion. Smoldering, if you will.

But here he was, Hawkins Memorial Hospital, sitting in one of the stiff waiting room chairs next to Wayne Munson, waiting for Eddie to be discharged.

(Not that that needed a medal or a pat on the back, because that’s the bare fucking minimum, and he damn well knows it.)

Home Is Where The Heart Is - E, 3.8k, 1/1

calendulablooms

It feels like it's been a much more hectic day than it actually has. Steve has just worked himself up into a tizzy. The list of stuff he wants to get done before Eddie gets home is long, and he wants, no, needs everything to be perfect. Eddie's had a long day, and he deserves to come home to a clean home and dinner on the table. So Steve bustles from one end of the trailer to the other trying to get as much done as he can. He still has laundry to fold, and the floor could honestly use another going-over with the vacuum, but Eddie is due home any moment, so it's time to check on dinner.

(Or, Eddie figures out Steve maybe has a thing for being his good little housewife and indulges him like a good, sweet boyfriend)

honey, when you warm the bed on wednesday - G, 1.4k, 1/1

bartoninthevent

Slowly, Steve pulls his gaze from their joined hands to look into Eddie’s eyes. The usual deep brown of his eyes has caught the light just so and it has shifted the shade to a gorgeous amber that almost makes Eddie choke remembering how to breathe.

Holy shit, isn’t he the most beautiful man.

hopelessly devoted (to you) - T, 8.8k, 1/1

fivecenturiesverse

In Miami, on vacation with his parents, Steve meets Eddie. So what if he doesn't get a last name or a phone number, it was a summer fling and they had a great month together. He doesn't realise it was Eddie fucking Munson until the guy has a broken bottle to his neck and they're about to go face interdimensional aliens together. Steve doesn't know when his life became a very fucked up and non-musical version of Grease.

Robin’s lips twitch. “And it was just a summer fling?”

He narrows his eyes at her. “What?”

“You’re such a hopeless romantic, Steve. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with you.” He must look as confused as he feels because she laughs and says, “Dude, you like sighed his name, you’re so done for.”

“Shut up. It’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, is it? I’m never even going to hear his name again. It was a summer fling and that’s all.”

Hours and Hours - E, 7k, 1/1

Blapblaps

“My tats turning you on that much, huh?” Eddie jokes.

“All of you,” Steve whispers, “So handsome.”

Eddie’s breath hitches and he wraps his arms around Steve’s neck, bringing their bodies flush together. It sends a buzz thrumming underneath Steve’s skin.

“Talkin’ like that’s gonna get you in trouble,” Eddie’s voice is lower now, thick with something Steve hopes (knows) is love.

Steve’s hands haven’t stopped moving. “What kinda trouble,” He murmurs into Eddie’s ear, pulling their hips together.

“The kind where I keep you here and make love to you for hours.”

housing a wanted fugitive never looked so good - G, 2.6k, 1/1

just_yeole_cryptid

Dustin needs to find Eddie Munson, to help prove his innocence, and fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, he goes to Steve.

Steve, who knows exactly where Eddie is.

-

“Did you see what was on the news?” Robin asked, disturbing Steve from his reverie, as Dustin and Max hurried up to the counter.

“That’s exactly what we’re here about.” Dustin replied, hopping the counter, barely giving Steve enough time to brush a stack of VHS tapes out of his way.

“We need to find Eddie,” Max supplied, giving Steve a look.

How Do I Get You Alone? - T, 5.1k, 1/1

eerielake

Dustin rolls his eyes and pushes off of the counter. "Your shift's almost over, right? Wanna hang out?"

Steve scoops up the fallen movies. "I would, but I've got plans. Me and Eddie are meeting up at the diner."

"Oh, that's cool. I'll just come with you."

Steve pauses his work and looks over his shoulder at Dustin. He's got a pinched look on his face, like he's thinking something over. Dustin knows that can be a real struggle for him.

"Uh... I don't... I don't know if that's a good idea."

-

5 times Dustin accidentally crashes a steddie date (+ 1 time Steve crashes a Hellfire Club meeting)

[smolcinnamonchipmunk]

Witness Protection

(I’m sorry for not posting anything actually in a while. Headspace has not been very good. So, forgive me for being self-indulgent and traumatizing another self-insert.)

Count: 3544

TW/CW: Brief graphic depiction of a murder, blood, panic attack, fear of dying/death, unintentional fearplay, aaaaand soft, safe M/nb G/t vore

I loved nighttime.

Aside from being time from work for most people, it was a time for people to relax inside and unwind before bed, even on the weekends when more people would stay up.

But, for me, it was a chance to go outside without worrying about other people for the most part. Sure, sometimes there were some joggers that ran the same paths I did, but it was blissfully quiet after midnight. Especially on an average work night like tonight where almost everyone was asleep. No cars, no barking or bustling, just... calm. A nice night to listen to some music from my earbuds and stretch my legs from being cooped up in my apartment.

The only thing I didn't like was the chill that permeated the night air, making me shudder a bit and internally grumble in my sweater and oversized flannel jacket. Some people would suggest gloves, I hated the feeling. I much preferred beanies like the red one I wore for the night. It kept my head warm and also made it so that I didn't have to do anything to my easily unkempt, fluffy hair.

I exhaled through my nose and blinked a bit when my breath fogged in front of my face, blinding me for a second as the cloud clung to my glasses. Rolling my eyes and murmuring "Of course." under my breath, I stopped and pulled them off of my face to clear them.

When I placed my glasses back on my face, I thought I saw something in the reflection of the glass. I looked up curiously and saw nothing around me save for fallen leaves coasting on the breeze.

Wondering if it was a stray cat or raccoon, I carefully walked towards the direction I thought the reflection would have come from. An alleyway that would be a perfect hiding spot for any stray animals. I thought idly that if it was a cat, maybe I could coax it back home for a bath.

Stepping up to the entrance of the alleyway, I strained to see in the darkness.

There was a shifting shape about the height of a dog, but... weird. If I had to try and equate the shape in the darkness, I would have had to guess that it was a dog trying to get into a trash bag? Maybe? I'd never exactly seen anything like it, so it was difficult for me to wrap my head around.

A bit curious and worried, I let out a concerned exhale and kept from vocalizing to avoid scaring off the dog, pulling out my phone. Opening my phone, I turned on the flashlight as something raised in the dark.

I froze.

The weirdly jerky and hunched shape wasn't a dog attempting to dig into a discarded trash bag. It was someone struggling to keep a bound woman beneath them subdued.

A woman whose face was streaked with wet mascara from tears, mouth gagged by a bandana or rag, shirt and leggings dirty with some holes presumably from struggling while her hands and ankles were tied. Who's green eyes flickered briefly towards me as the flashlight clicked on, giving me the horrible sight of the light leaving her eyes as a knife plunged into her throat in a crimson splatter that misted her and the person holding the knife.

I saw steam from hot blood meeting the colder air.

The attacker, who swung down as I turned on my flashlight, quickly looked up from the still warm corpse on instinct. I saw them recoil, the hood of their jacket and a winter mask that covered the lower half of their face preventing me from getting a good look at them. I don’t even think I would have remembered their features anyways, everything feeling like it was blurring as they lifted a hand to try and block my phone light.

The brief seconds of blindness was probably the only thing that saved my life.

My legs moved quicker than my mind, sprinting away from the scene as quick as I could, not daring to look back to see if or when the attacker would choose to give chase. My numb fingers fumbled with my phone, struggling to dial the police as my panicked breathing threatened to make me faint. Too numb and shaky, my fingers couldn’t keep a firm grip on it and I yelped as my phone slipped from my grasp.

I briefly skidded to a halt for the barest of moments with the intent to try and pick it up before quickly deciding it wasn’t worth my life, continuing my mad sprint down the sidewalk. My music jittered and glitched as the source of the musical connection grew further away, quickly cutting out entirely to leave me with the sound of blood rushing in my ears, my panting, and my muffled footsteps.

Heart pounding almost painfully in my chest, my vision tunnel-visioned only on trying to run to the safety of my apartment or something, not seeing the hand that jutted out of the alley I was about to run past until I practically slammed into it. 

I hadn't heard any footsteps because of my earbuds.

I was pulled into the darkness with terrifying ease, too quick to even let out a scream before my mouth was covered by a hand and an arm wrapped around my torso, lifting me enough that my feet left the ground. My legs kicked uselessly as I struggled to somehow pry my captor off of me, near-hyperventilating with the horrible knowledge that they were far larger and stronger than I was.

This is it. I'm about to die because I decided to leave the house once in a blue moon.

My eyes stung from the cold and the slight sheen of tears as they watered a bit, a cold pit forming in my stomach as I expected to be pinned and stabbed like the woman earlier. Any second, the thought of pain and dying would come to fruition.

But, instead, I was clutched to my captors chest while I squirmed to get away with little to no reaction. There wasn't even an indication that they felt anything. I could feel their breathing against my back, unsure if the sound of a racing heart was just from me or if they were silently freaking out about me seeing them kill someone.

I thought that, perhaps, they were waiting for me to exhaust myself in my panic. But, I realized there was the sound of muffled running footsteps outside the alleyway beneath the blood rushing in my ears. A figure ran past, a mental latency telling me that they had a spattering of coloring on their clothes that looked suspiciously like blood and the glint of what may have been a knife.

If that was the killer… who the fuck was holding onto me?

As the confused and still panicked thought crossed my mind I felt my captor let out a relieved sigh against my back, able to see the heated steam from them scatter above me. My body instinctively stiffened, at the sight and sound of their sigh, letting out a muffled yelp as my captor turned almost dizzyingly quick. 

I found myself with my feet back on the ground, but I was trapped against the alley wall by my captor before I could fully process the movement. Back against the wall, one arm blocked off escape towards the alley entrance while the other hand remained against my mouth to keep me quiet. They were… definitely a lot bigger than me, at least six feet tall with a far more muscular build than my own. Their details were difficult to make out in the darkness of the alley but I saw that he was dark-skinned with his hair cut short, dark green eyes glinting in the dim light from the street.

“You alright?” a gruff, masculine voice spoke up. It was a whisper, but it still made me jump, feeling far too loud in the almost silent night even with my earbuds still in. When I didn’t immediately nod or shake my head he sighed and shifted the arm blocking me in, reaching towards me.

“Mmmphf!” I let out a muffled exclamation and flinched away, quickly grabbing his wrist with both of my hands. I was entirely certain that I couldn’t stop him from anything but he stilled his hand anyway.

“I’m not trying to hurt ya, I’m trying to make sure you’re NOT hurt, kid,” the guy huffed, a second or two passing before he added, “Look. I’m going to remove my hand to ask you some questions. You’re not going to scream or anything when I take my hand off, right?”

I wasn’t even sure I would be able to scream if I wanted to, my throat feeling too tight and breathing feeling laborious. Staring at the mostly obscured face of the man, I reluctantly nodded after a few seconds. Another second and he nodded back.

“Alright. Are you hurt?” he asked, glancing down at my body for a second, squinting to try and see if I was injured.

“I-I.. No, no, I-I’m fine,” I forced out, barely able to manage a response as my voice tried to stick in my throat. Still, I couldn’t help but give myself a light pat down, absentmindedly plucking my silent earbuds out of my ears. I could hear the light whistle of a breeze through the alleyway, something about being able to hear better both making me feel relief and a new spike of anxiety to add to my current state. I couldn’t help the wary suspicion as I asked, “Who… Who are you?”

It felt oddly timed that someone else would be out and about in the same area while also somehow getting me out of danger just in time. I especially couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing in an alley, of all fucking places. The other person was certainly a murderer, yes, but that didn’t mean that this man wasn’t also dangerous.

In the harsh contrast of darkness and light from the street I saw the man blink a bit before sighing.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at the question,” the man replied, “My name’s Damien. I’m a private investigator that was hired to tail a suspect in a serial murder case, to find evidence or intervene before he killed again.

“I’m judging by your behaviour that I failed in that regard,” His expression turned unreadable for a couple seconds of silence before asking his own question. “What did you see?”

For some reason, despite the question being completely understandable, it caught me off guard. I blinked at him as I struggled to move my tongue, the muscle feeling stiff.

“I-I,” my voice stuck in my throat. The scene began to replay itself nonsensically in my mind’s eye and I felt my heartrate begin to quicken, my breathing turn shallow. My choker suddenly felt too constrictive, feeling too aware of my own pulse beneath the strip of fabric and I reached up absentmindedly to touch my neck.

“Did he see you?”

Damien’s voice brought me back from my stupor, the mild change of subject surprising enough to ground me. I stared at him for a second before swallowing to try and clear my throat to answer, “I-I don’t think so… I think I blinded him with my phone flashlight, b-but I dropped it when I was trying to call the cops while running…”

“Fuck,” Damien growled under his breath, the small sound enough to make me flinch. “If he grabbed it then he might be able to get into it to find out who you are and where you live.”

“Oh.” The thought hadn’t really crossed my mind, more focused on just trying to survive than the prospect of what would happen if I managed to run away from the killer. Now that the possibility of him finding out where I live was presented I was unfortunately picturing a shadowed figure breaking into my home in the middle of the night to kill me. “... It was by Glass Tower.”

“What?” The man looked caught off guard by my statement.

“The murder,” I said numbly, gesturing to the alley entrance. “It happened by Glass Tower, I think.. In an alley. I-I thought it was a dog,.. I-I.. She…”

The almost overwhelming numb feeling of shock cracked slightly as I tried to describe what happened, my breath suddenly hitching in my throat and my eyes stinging as panicked tears began to well up. I let out a shaky breath, trying and failing to not curl in on myself, especially with an almost complete stranger,

Thankfully, Damien’s only comment about it was, “You don’t need to get into it now, kid. We can get a full testimony later.”

“… O-Okay,” I nodded, trying to calm myself down. I felt both cold and hot as my body’s anxiety and adrenaline fought with the below-freezing temperatures. A shiver ran down my spine that made my entire body shudder in its confusion.

“Unfortunately, I don’t have time to take you to a station,” he huffed slightly, looking towards the alley entrance with a contemplative expression. “I need to retrace your steps and find the crime scene before the killer has a chance to come back and clean up. But, I need to get you out of the way and safe first.. And, you’re not gonna like it.”

“H-Huh?” I blinked a bit at his odd wording, staring in confusion as he shifted to reach into the inside of his jacket. My eyes widened as he pulled out a syringe that glinted in the light from the street, quickly moving to dart off to the side as my fear of needles kicked in, still very high-strung and in survival mode. 

“Woah, hey!” The man whisper-yelled in surprise, moving just as quickly.

“L-Let me g-mmph!” I found myself strong armed back against the alley wall with his palm covering my mouth to muffle my cries once more, heart racing as I was pinned with terrifying ease. There was a sharp pain in my neck and the feeling of something unfamiliar being injected. Shivering at the cold feeling, I quickly shied away once he unpinned me from the wall, reaching up to press my hand against whatever puncture wound was there and exclaiming, “What did you just do to me?!”

“Woah, easy, kid, easy,” Damien pocketed the syringe quickly and held up his hands in an effort to placate me. “Just calm down. What I gave you is going to make it easier to protect you and keep you safe.”

“Safe from what?! Ps-Psychopaths with syringes?” I asked, feeling like a cornered animal. I could try to run further into the alley but he was so close that he could probably just stop me and-. “Ouuugh, f-fuck.”

A sudden overwhelming wave of dizziness and nausea overtook me and I stumbled, planting my forearm against the brick alley wall to keep from crumpling to the ground and squeezing my eyes shut against it. I tried to shake off the feeling, hissing when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. At least, I think it was a hand, it encompassed my entire upper arm.

And then, suddenly, I found my entire world shifting dramatically.

I let out a panicked scream as my feet were swept out from beneath me, falling to the side onto what felt like a weirdly firm and warm mattress. I felt my glasses fall off my face and opened my eyes as I tried to push myself up from my prone position, picking my glasses up off the ground. The ground that looked oddly colored and textured as I put them back on, almost reminiscent of skin…

“There we go.”

My eyes widened and I froze at hearing Damien’s voice directly behind me, but far louder and it sounded a bit deeper. I felt a brief breeze from behind my back and yelped when everything moved again, realizing that I was being lifted up into the air as I was pressed into the surface beneath me by the force. When I stopped being raised into the air, I spent a few seconds trying to handle the vertigo that came from being lifted so suddenly, vision blurring slightly in my confused panic at whatever was happening.

I pushed myself back into a sitting position, holding a hand to my head to try and dissipate the dizziness before turning to look behind me. And freezing at seeing dark green eyes larger than my head staring at me.

“What the FUCK?!” I cried out, immediately flipping onto my back and trying to back away. Something blocked me and a glance behind me caused me to pale at realizing that I was in Damien’s palms, his fingers curling up to form a blockade behind me so I couldn’t back up any further.

“I know this is unorthodox, but it’s time to put you away safely,” the man said, giving me a slightly apologetic look. “Sorry, kid.”

“H-Huh, what do you mean ‘sorry’, wh-what do you mean by putting me aw-AY?!” I jolted and pressed as far back against his fingers as I could when he began to open his mouth in front of me. The hands beneath me shifted and tilted, finding myself pitched forward into his open jaws. By the time I registered that I had been shoved onto his tongue, his teeth were already closed behind me.

Stuck in shock, I was frozen, feeling the heat and humidity, the way that saliva clung to my clothes and skin, how the tongue beneath me twitched and how I could sense the roof of his mouth just above me in my prone position.

Damien decided that he wasn’t wasting anytime, finding myself jolted out of my shock by the tongue beneath me shifting. 

“W-Wait,” I shouted, immediately squirming in protest. My voice stuttered when the tongue ran across my face as I was pressed into the roof of his mouth, feeling the bridge of my glasses against my nose. If I wasn’t fighting for my life right now, I’d be impressed that they stayed on.

My protests and struggles went unheeded, slathered in saliva as I was lapped at and shifted around his maw for what felt like eternity but was probably only a couple seconds before I was allowed a reprieve. I panted from exertion, eyes widening as I started being nudged towards his throat, trying to plant my hands against his taste buds to avoid being swallowed headfirst. Unsuccessfully.

“N-No, stop,” I yelped, hands slipping over the precipice. All it took was one gulp and I found myself squashed and forced into his esophagus. Blood immediately started to rush to my head, the sound of my blood rushing overpowered by the swallows surrounding me and his own breathing. His powerful heartbeat joined in and I was surrounded by his bodily cacophony as I traveled further down his throat past his heart and lungs.

It wasn’t long before I slipped into a larger space, what I could only assume was his stomach as I slid to the bottom of the organ. Something nearby groaned and I felt a jolt of panic go through me.

I tried to stand up to avoid touching the stomach walls and ended up falling back over as I slipped on the constantly moving and slick lining. Struggling to try and keep my balance, I shouted up as loud as I could, “LET ME OUT!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Damien gruffly spoke up, voice trying to be softer. Whether to comfort or just protect my ears, I wasn’t sure. There was a pat against the stomach wall I leaned against that caused me to flinch away. “You’re safe, kid. I know you don’t believe me right now, but that’s the safest place for you to be right now. This guy would literally have to go through me to get to you.”

My shallow breathing and racing heartbeat certainly begged to differ against the whole being safe thing, retorting, “And how am I safe against your body?!”

“Part of the chemicals in the syringe is to make you immune to any acids inside, so you’re perfectly safe. I don’t know how long you’ll be in there while I go investigate the crime scene and get the actual cops on the case,” he replied, unbothered about my screaming or protests this entire time. “I suggest you get some rest.”

“B-Bit of a hard request,” I snapped, looking around the dark space anxiously. I found myself curling up against the furthest section that I could. To my surprise, I was shaking. I tried to calm my shaking, hugging my arms around my abdomen as I took shaky breaths. A bit of shock was setting in again and my adrenaline was fading. Eaten by a PI wasn’t exactly how I expected the night to go, feeling incredibly surreal. Frowning at nothing, I murmured to myself, “M-Maybe this is a dream….”

A really weird and vivid dream, but a dream would be far better than reality. I suppose I’d just have to wait and see.

[ghost-pony]

Why pony?

This is a long post, but a while back on my fet I wrote up an introspective bit on why ponyplay is so appealing to me. Figured I'd copy it over here below the cut! If you're at all interested in this stuff, reading it is absolutely the best way to better understand my pet inclinations.

Animal Roleplay

I've been a furry for years. I'm well-accustomed with expressing myself through the lens of an animal character; this is my comfort zone more than my human self is. As much as I want to meet people, and as much as I wish I were extroverted, I find social interactions challenging; there's a lot of unspoken rules to follow, but animals don't have nearly so many of them.

As an animal, particularly one in a mask, people's expectations of me are simpler. I don't necessarily have to talk, make the right facial expression, or perform human behavior. There's a lot more thought put into animal body language and nonverbal cues. In a human context, these things are assumed to be a given; they're things we ought to know and do automatically. But sometimes there's gaps in my knowledge; interacting feels like a performance, like I have to constantly dedicate thought to 'acting normal.'

As an animal, I can take this performance and turn it into something I love. It feels like stage acting, like I'm embodying a character or a facet of myself that I have to study and understand so I can bring them to life. And there's less criticism, imagined or otherwise, if I slip up - a pony neigh that doesn't perfectly resemble a bio-horse's isn't the same kind of social faux pas as a person who never makes eye contact through the course of a conversation. I think this is where my desire for petplay intersects with my (suspected) position somewhere on the autism spectrum. I put a lot of pressure on myself to uphold social expectations that don't come naturally to me; as a pony, I can redirect that energy into something that feels fulfilling and freeing instead of a stifling struggle to conform.

And on a broader scale - an animal headspace offers the enticing promise of setting aside all the human-life stressors that lurk in the back of my mind. I always feel some level of pressure, like there's something I'm better off doing with my time, that's hard to forget. But as an animal, those worries are far away and my priorities are simpler. My constant task - understanding my animal self, thinking and acting like him, focusing on the best ways to physically convey something inhuman - offers something to keep me occupied, and keeps my mind from wandering back to faraway stress.

Self-image

While I wouldn't describe myself as ashamed of how I look, there is some level of physical self-consciousness that's constantly present when I'm around others. What if my hair is rumpled in an unflattering way? What if I have something on my face? What if I'm making a weird expression, or zoning out and seemingly staring at a stranger across the room? And as a trans person: What if someone suspects I wasn't born male?

Gear and masks give me a reassuring answer to all of those questions. I know what I look like, and I know I look good. My face is hidden, so I can relax and stop thinking about how it looks or who's looking at me. I've always adored the craftsmanship and artistic appeal of a well-made mask, and wearing one gives me a consistent outer image of something I like. It's a big self-confidence boost, and it helps me visualize myself as something inhuman. I'm not just a person in a mask, I am what everyone else outside me sees. I'm something beautiful, imposing, admirable, cute - whatever direction the art I'm wearing takes me in. And I live for the uniqueness of self-expression via animal characters; in the furry community, no two designs or masks are exactly the same, and I bring that same energy with me into petplay.

And certain aspects of ponyplay highlight moving with grace and elegance; my self-consciousness drives me to make my play into something that looks appealing from the outside. I don't want to look awkward, or uncomfortable, or out-of-place; I want to look confident and graceful, even if that's something I have to work hard to maintain.

Physicality

Ponyplay motivates me to better myself physically in a way that not many things have. Working ponies work hard, and ponyplay stands out in its incorporation of physical effort and exercise. I miss the feeling of team sports, of pushing myself hard to bring us collective pride and impress my trainer; ponyplay offers almost the same feeling, a way to move my body and show what I can do without so much time spent in my own head. I want to feel capable and strong, I want to push myself, I want to feel energetic and competitive (and competing with other ponies sounds really fun).

I had a revelation today; I don't think I'm much of a masochist, and I've always struggled to understand why pain is as popular as it is in kink. I worry that my options are limited if I never learn to see the appeal. But I think hard exercise appeals to me in much the same way other forms of pain appeal to other people; it makes me feel in tune with my body, it's a challenge I want to endure, and it's something I want to succeed at to impress or bring pride to someone else.

Dynamic

There's many creative ways to approach petplay. What is it about ponies and horses specifically that draws me in? I think they're the best expression of my animal self and the dynamic I want with a handler; our cultural understanding of each animal heavily influences how I see myself in a pet space. We see dogs as friendly, playful, goofy, and eager to please; that's not quite me. Cats can be cuddly or aloof; that's not quite what I'm looking for in a dynamic.

We see horses as graceful, powerful, and sensitive. I'm not a very big guy; I like embodying an animal that demands some level of physical respect, and feel safer when I feel like I can't easily be pushed around. The interaction between horse and trainer is usually a consensual one by nature; as a pony I'm not obligated or forced to obey. Horses can be anxious and flighty; there's an understanding that a handler requires patience, gentleness, and sometimes tack to communicate with me. Tack aids them to express what they want me to do rather than physically imposing something on me. A relaxed, confident handler can see my anxiety and help put me at ease or lend me their confidence the way a sure rider can calm a nervous horse.

Above all, I don't see my pet play as something degrading. It's something that uplifts me, and being a pony does that better than anything else. Horses are admirable, elegant, hard-working - all things I want to adopt for myself when I put on my hood.

End

Thanks for reading all these thoughts, if you got this far <3 I'm posting this with minimal proofreading, so I may make some small edits later if I realize I worded something poorly or left anything out. I'm still very early in my journey at this point; my hope is that I'll learn and evolve enough to make an updated and revised version of this perspective some ways down the road. In the meantime: I would love to hear the perspectives of others, if you would like to share your own!

[thelooniemoonie]

Look at how far we've come (Happy 25th birthday to me!)

I'm gonna put some of my thoughts under the cut here, so if you wanna hear me reflect or get personal for a second feel free to scroll past. (CW: mentions of suicide, and other dark topics)

I'm writing this the day or so before queuing this so by the time you read it it will be my birthday but I'm writing this on like. Wednesday

And...well? I guess I'm turning 25? I know it's technically a big milestone because it's like 25% through your life or whatever, but it feels....kinda weird? Like, "oh, I guess I'm turning 25."

I don't quite know how to explain how I'm feeling. It's not necessarily bad? I know we live in a world that puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on age and getting older, but i don't really care about that kinda stuff like getting grey hairs or wrinkles. But this is a new feeling.

It's more like....the feeling of realization once you reflect a bit. A lot of stuff has happened over the past few years, but once you actually turn and look back all of the events you lived through, you kinda realize how much you've grown. Going step by step, day by day, and only realizing once you turn around that you've climbed an entire mountain.

Back when I was 12 years old, I attempted to kill myself.

At the time, the future felt like a dark fog with nothing ahead in sight. I was living in dangerous abusive conditions with my father, severely depressed, and actively spiralling with my own identity, let alone my place in the world. The future was nonexistent.

Now...when I reflect back on that period of my life, it feels like worlds away now.

(Also don't worry if you're reading this and feel concern for me, I haven't felt any suicidal feelings in practically a decade now. I'm sure as hard things may seem sometimes, I genuinely am miles away from that headspace and do not intend to hurt myself in any way.)

It's kinda weird knowing back when I was younger (which isn't that long ago, to be fair) that I already felt like my life was over. Like I just wasn't gonna get into university, I was gonna drop out, I'm gonna have to navigate the entire trajectory of my life in that deep fog.....

.....and now realizing where I am? It's weird. Like I didn't plan for any of this. I should be dead. I'm just winging this entire thing.

But.... it's also realizing that I'm gonna be fine.

To be perfectly honest, this year has been kinda rough for me. While I don't talk about my personal life too much on here I was pretty miserable the first 4 months due to getting screwed over during the start of my Masters, plus not seeing my irl friends for a while hasn't been ideal either. (I also feel kinda shitty complaining about these things in general, as I'm well aware these kinds of opportunities are things not everyone is able to get, and I know there's friends and others that have it worse off than me, so I just kinda keep that shit to myself)

But I've also come a long way haven't I? I've managed to graduate in the middle of a pandemic, managed to land a job helping the covid pandemic in my province, got my drivers licence, made memories with the ones I love and meeting new people, slowly becoming more independent and now doing climate change research for my Masters degree? It's...something.

It's kinda the feeling of your world being very small, like a tiny space where the fog obscures anything outside your view, and slowly it fading away and your world getting bigger. Like sure I can't 100% see the future, but it's important to reflect on knowing what that world was like before.

I wish I had something poetic here or a message or life lesson to articulate my thoughts. But that doesn't really work here. (I'm also being careful to focus on positive aspects of my life here, as it wouldn't really be great to focus on the more negative aspects, like that time I almost died again (this time not on purpose, I promise) in a car crash in 2020 or a really bad breakup I had with a group of friends. But I suppose that's just life, isn't it? You really get a wide variety of experiences, good or bad)

I can't really say my life is 100% improved at this point either, things still aren't perfect as I'm still living with my mom, a closeted queer, and I'm sure there's a lot that I still need to learn and considering, the uh, well (vaguely gestures at all the current events going on right now) stuff....going on........there's still a lot of work to be done.

Dandelions in the spring. A shining moon on a dark night. The first seedling after a forest fire. Fading scars. Light from a birthday candle held in your hands, carrying wishes in the wind long after they burn out.

Hope, I guess.

Anyway if you read this far here's my official adult™ tips from my experience:

If you wear jewellery that tarnishes quickly line a bowl with tinfoil shiny side up, place jewellery in the bowl with equal parts baking soda and salt, and pour boiling water over everything and leave for 5 minutes

Invest in a cushion that supports your tailbone. You have no idea how many office chairs have shit ergonomic design.

[lovelyinspiration1463]

Loki S2 E3 Spoilers Ahead!

My thoughts while watching the episode for the first time:

Is that him as a kid?

I considered for a hot second that Loki might be that horse.

There is never a moment too dire for Mobius to grab a snack, and I relate to that on a deep and personal level.

Boy, Marvel will do anything to plaster their name on screen as much as possible.

*science mumbo jumbo*

I think this variant has gotten himself electrocuted one too many times. 

I wouldn’t be standing right in front of that, my dude.

Well, yeah, now he’s giving off more ‘take over the world’ vibes. Proper Frankenstein over here.

Prototype? Yeah, no kidding. That thing let off a few bright sparks and then just died.

Mustache guy looked so scandalized, I can’t  ��😭😭

“Hornswoggler”? That is my new favorite word.

Is that an offer or a threat? Sounds more like a threat.

Where can I get myself a guy who will pass out money at the snap of my fingers???

I know it’s loud in there, but is no one else hearing the talking purse?

Nice cover, Mobius.

Oop. Old hornswoggler is back and wants a refund. I’m shocked. The machine looked so impressive just… fizzling the way that it did.

This has very quickly become a Charlie Chaplin sketch.

Okay, first of all, Mullet Hair, can you chill??? Killing the same dude over and over and over again is not gonna secure free will for people! Can we discuss? For even just a millisecond?! Are we able to think through our actions?

He ruined your life? Listen here, Sylvie; while you’ve been living it up at McDonalds, the universe has been falling apart! Think outside yourself for two seconds!

His face! 💀💀💀

Are these two seriously having a moment? Cease and desist immediately.

“A long time ago-“ in a galaxy far, far away. No, wait; wrong franchise.

That’s your biggest takeaway? Seriously?

“Rat bags”? Mustache Man is just full of zingers!

Did Loki literally just run in a circle??

Ooh, Miss Minutes is a bit snappy. She really wants everyone to know how clever she is.

Oh my gosh, they are not cramming another slapdash love story into the show 😫 I do not care about this! I came here to see Loki! Every second he’s not on screen, a little part of me dies…

Miss Minutes in the background: 😞

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I have a feeling Renslayer is suddenly gonna be much more amenable to joining Loki and Mobius now.

All those mannequins are so creepy. 

A Rolodex? That’s his life’s work?

Okay… this just got weird on so many levels. 

OKAY THIS JUST GOT SUPER WEIRD! 🚩‼️🚨 IF SHE POSSESSES ONE OF THOSE MANNEQUINS I AM SO OUTTA HERE

🎶 People always told me, be careful of what you do, don't go around breaking young girls' hearts. And mother always told me, be careful of who you love.  And be careful of what you do, ‘cause the lie becomes the truth - hey hey!🎶

Dude, how did she even get here?

*dramatic entrance at the perfect time*

Mobius, look at her! I don’t think Ravonna is in the best headspace rn.

How many people are gonna barge in here??? Does he have any security at all? Even a single lock?

Also, are we really doing this again? This episode is bloated with will they/won’t they moments. It’s a “won’t” from me. I’ve decided.

The hair! 😍💯

So is Loki just gonna lie there and watch, or…?

So everyone gets free will but him? How do you know he won’t make better choices? He can’t be the one singular person in all of existence that is fated to be something specific!

Okay now I’m starting to feel a little bad for him.

“I can make my own choices.” That’s what I’m saying!

Who put Sylvie in charge? I’m sorry, but last time I checked, Loki doesn’t answer to you!

Seriously? You’re just abandoning her there??? Murder was a bad thing two seconds ago and now you’re both chill about it?

Aww, poor Sylvie. She really is the greatest victim in all this. How dare she be forced to decide to obsess over something 🙄

Yeah, I’m not sure sticking the two of them together is a good idea. I mean technically he’s dead, but what has that ever meant in the MCU?

Oooh, never mind - he’s dead dead. …Well, even so. Loki’s come back from worse.

Can any of these characters just pick a side?! Stop betraying each other so often; I can’t keep up! Who’s working with who???

[pluralprompts]

Submitted Prompt #51

System A and Person B have become pretty close recently. They are spending some downtime together at System A's home, after the two had a few stressful and late nights at work/school. Person B falls asleep. System A notices this, and stops whatever they're doing to place a blanket on Person B before they catch a cold.

Inside System A's headspace, someone new appears close to front. Headmate A.1 is busy controlling the body, finishing up whatever tasks are left before heading to bed as well. Headmate A.2, in co-con, notices the new member though! A perfect reflection of Person B stands very awkwardly, not quite confused but not quite comfortable.

"You must be a new factive! We do tend to get factives when we get to know someone a lot." Headmate A.2 says, greeting Person B.

"I... Don't know what that is," Person B says sheepishly. "What's uhm- what is all this? It's very... Interesting..."

They gesture around at the headspace.

Headmate A.2 grins, leading Person B around a bit. "This is System A! Well, our headspace at least. Oh, we're a bunch of people sharing a body by the way! Ask questions if you need. We've got plenty to do inside and out- this is the front, where you can control the body, but it takes a bit of getting used to. And we've got lots of friends too, like me- oh I'm Headmate A.2 by the way. Then there's A.1, A.3, A.4- wait, I should ask your name! What's your name, newbie?"

"I'm Person B. And wait- you're- we're inside... System A?"

"That's one way to put it."

"In their brain?"

"Yeah."

"... But I was in their house just a second ago?" Person B pulls a hand through their hair. "I must've fallen asleep on the couch. This is a weird dream. I always have weird dreams when I sleep on the couch!"

Headmate A.2 quiets for a moment as Person B tries to reason with themself. When their trail of excuses becomes mumbled and soft, they speak up again. "Okay, this can be very confusing for a lot of newbies, but you're... Not actually Person B, you're just based on what we think of them. You can only imagine those memories of being in our house from our perspective, right?"

"No," they answer immediately. "No, it's from my view."

Headmate A.2 sighs. "A.1, can we go check on Person B? This new member is a factive that thinks they really are Person B having a dream."

"Sure." A.1 is a person of much fewer words than A.2, clearly. Person B watches them, realizing they're staring at something almost screen-like. It displays a view of System A's house, and suddenly, there they are on screen, sleeping peacefully on the couch. A fluffy throw blanket is on top of them. That wasn't there before.

Person B stares at the screen. The other two are silently waiting for a reaction.

"Alright. That was fun, but I shouldn't be sleeping on the couch anyways. It's bad for my back."

Both headmates turn towards Person B as they speak. Person B waves, then pinches themself hard in the arm. In a poof of smoke, they disappear- and of course, wake up on the couch. It didn't really feel like waking up, more like they'd just closed their eyes for a few minutes. They sit up, noticing System A is now sitting on an arm chair and staring at them with wide eyes.

Person B smiles. "G'morning. Sorry about dozing off on your couch." They go to stand up, a light weight tangling around their legs. They had the same blanket from their dream on. "Y'know, I had the weirdest dream... Just now."

"Did it... Involve you jumping into my brain somehow?"

Person B nodded. "Always quick on the uptake, aren't you. But yeah it was so weir- wait how did you know that?"

"... Uhh... Shit."

"Wait – did that – was – did you see – feel – hear – me? In your head?" Person B stuttered, the reality of the situation suddenly hitting them. They prayed System A was joking and just hit the luckiest coincidental guess ever- but the mortified look on their face said otherwise.

"Yeah," System A said, eventually, voice so quiet it wouldn't echo in an empty glass.

Falling back on the couch, Person B fainted. And promptly popped back up in System A's headspace again. A.2 threw their hands in the air and shouted, "Welcome back!" And A.1 groaned – both internally and externally.

[theblindinfidel]

Hey! Here are my Photobomb thoughts I posted as a response on Reddit haha!

Warning: MAJOR SPOILERS

Hi! Nice to meetcha! I’m glad you posted this because I’m curious to see what others will say as well!

When I first got into OMORI, I was actually not into any ships outside HeroMari and Sunburn. Sticking to the game and whatnot. It all started when I saw the cutest little meme on Twitter that Shrimp had posted and it featured photobomb. I thought:

“Hmm. I have never thought about this.”

And thus, I went down the rabbit hole and began to really enjoy it, even through watching my friend play the game. I really enjoy the childhood to lovers trope and I can get behind an enemies to lovers trope, though I don’t really see them as enemies.

So we can see the parallels between RW and HS. Sunny depicts a somewhat accurate representation of how his friends were in their childhood- (Aubrey and Kel arguing, Aubrey standing up for what she believes is right regardless of the consequences, Sunny always being regarded as quiet, Kel being goofy and oblivious but still a great friend with good morals, and Hero being the level headed member of the group.)

That being said, I believe there are definitely some truths in how the members perceive each other and their relationships to one another.

I really enjoyed how Aubrey was so worried about him in headspace. Even when his memory was being erased in Sunny’s mind, she would continuously get sad at his absence and grew distraught the longer he was gone. This is, of course, before she forgot him, alongside everyone else. She lamented about how she missed how he’d brush her hair and always gave him positive feedback. From this, it’s clear she cares a great deal about him as her friend.

When we switch into the Faraway segments, we learn she was actually the one to introduce Basil to the rest of the friend group. She grabs his hand and brings him along to introduce him. They are seen in the calendar art to work well together and you learn about them running a lemonade stand together and making fake plant decorations for the treehouse.

He calls Aubrey cute more than once which is neat because it shows he was much more outgoing when he was younger, albeit a little insecure. Now it isn’t specifically a romantic “cute”, but cute nonetheless. He could have been trying to push Sunny to agree or maybe he did like her a little but wanted to support Sunny. When he called her cute at the beach scene, his sprite turned away from her which I thought was a small thing that could be missed. Almost like he was a tad nervous to say it.

Those are all cute little things, but their dynamic is also intriguing.

Something people often miss about Basil is he is actually a relatively mischievous. You can see this from how he plays poker in the flashback, taking pictures of people when they least expect it (like Hero giving Kel some brotherly love), and a general humor in the way he lightly pokes fun but you wouldn’t expect it from him because he’s Basil.

He tends to cheer his friends on and genuinely believes in the best for them. He supports Aubrey’s cause to dye her hair pink which is also sweet.

Basil isn’t an angel, he has his flaws and issues, and he certainly isn’t an UwU flower boy by any regards. He could hold his own, he just doesn’t, he’s more of a pacifist. He DOES get angry and he DOES have moments where he is spiteful. (Bedroom encounter)

Then we have Aubrey. Aubrey in her youth was always nice to Basil and was quick to try and make him feel better about himself and he was receptive to her. It can be assumed or theorized they knew each other for awhile before they met the gang because they were neighbors, separated by a street, and she felt good enough about him to have him meet everyone. Aubrey isn’t the type to drag along some random Joe if she doesn’t feel right about it.

She and Basil both grew up in broken or weird homes and that is something only these two can really understand as opposed to Kel and Sunny (tho later on Sunny will understand the concept.) This is honestly a big deal as a kid because you feel comfortable with people like you. This is more of an emotional thing, a bonding kids don’t usually talk about, only feel. So my idea is they had a pretty solid friendship as kids built on trust and understanding. There was no judgement.

As time went on and the incident happened, Sunny, Basil’s best friend, went incommunicado. Basil, as we know, stayed out and eventually got the photo album back from Sunny even though it was ruined. That had to of hurt really bad. Regardless, he kept it with him and Aubrey eventually found it and BAM, bullying.

Lots of people have wondered why she bullied him so bad over that, but I think there’s a reason and it ties back to their friendship.

Remember when I said a lot of it was trust? That trust was murdered that day she found the album. It was shocking because Basil is Basil, how could he do that? It had to of hurt because she seemed pretty confident he would have at least told her of any anger he harbored. She felt abandoned and angry. Now this doesn’t make what she did right, it was really crappy, but she feels a ton of remorse as shown in the bad ending and to be honest, it takes a lot to apologize to someone when you are in the wrong, in front of friends and a friend’s caregiver at that! This shows she isn’t some demonic force who wants to belittle everyone. Aubrey has a heart, it can be in the wrong place at times and maybe even a little selfish at others, but when she sees she had done something wrong, she is quick to be angry with herself.

In the official art book, she is shown to be crying at the Lake Scene. She didn’t mean to almost kill him, she only wanted to push him away. This of course, parallels Sunny and Mari.

Their dynamic is interesting because Basil is really passive and hides his emotions and tries to stay gentle, although failing at times, and Aubrey being more loud with how she feels and failing when she goes too far. At their core, however, they both care a lot about each other, Basil going as far as trying to talk to her repeatedly while knowing the outcome, and Aubrey breaking down when something terrible DOES end up happening to him. She is shown in the hospital room visiting him which further indicates she really cares and is worried.

Also, big note here. It was Aubrey who recommended to everyone that they stay at Basil’s house the night Sunny has an encounter with him.

To summarize, there is a lot of cuteness and closeness in their friendship. Aubrey and Basil both come from a childhood of turmoil and have the depth to really understand each other in a nonjudgemental way if they wanted to try. The game has shown countless times how much they care for one another, and despite all odds, they end up friends again at the end. (Depending on how you interpret the end, but as far as the themes go, I’d say they do. Basil has been known to forgive quickly, as per the headspace version and pretty much everything else.) She would always stick up for him and would be taken aback by his teases and he’d be flustered and a nervous wreck, but it would be really cute.

They’re both also very nostalgic individuals! (Basil keeping the album, Aubrey then keeping it and returning to the hangout spot often)

In my experience a lot of angsty people take their angst out on the people they’re very close to if they feel they’ve been wronged by then. Hence her reactions to Sunny and Kel as well. She feels alienated in the same way Basil does, as though there is something innately wrong with them and that people won’t like them for them. They go about it differently but I think that would make them more comfortable with one another.

I like the concept of Aubrey having Basil branch out into things that he normally wouldn’t do and Basil just being a gentle person who can help her chill out. I think they’d set each other off or maybe be bad influences on each other, but more so in an innocent way.

I’m more of a timeskip person myself, I don’t think it could happen immediately after canon, but that’s just me.

Sorry for the ramble I’ve been meaning to write all this down anyhow!! Also it’s very late where I’m at so if something doesn’t make sense let me know!

[notanrp-system]

I apologize....I was curious about a lot of the questions you posted.

 describe yourself through the eyes of a stranger? Dyns, Angel, Alastor, Corvo, Mammon, Tony, Nagito, The Outsider

 what is a quality you’d like to change about yourself?Dyns, Alastor, Corvo

share a secret about yourself? Alastor, The Outsider, Corvo, Angel, Tony

 what advice would you give your childhood self? Alastor, Angel, Corvo, The Outsider, Tony

what’s your favorite form of flattery? Tony, Angel, Alastor

describe your personal style? Dyns, Angel, Alastor

who was your very first artistic inspiration? Dyns

if you could choose only one meal to eat for the remainder of your life, which would you choose? Anyone who wants to answer. I’m curious

 if you could domesticate any animal as your pet, which would you choose? Tony, Alastor, Angel, Corvo, The Outsider, Nagito

favorite mythological creature? and why? The Outsider, Dyns

what’s one thing you would tell to the last person who betrayed you? Corvo, Dyns, The Outsider, Alastor, Angel, Tony

what are you currently trying to accomplish? Anybody willing to answer. I’m curious

describe your personality is only 3 words? Everyone

which animal would you be the most terrified to encounter? Tony, Dyns, Angel, Alastor, Corvo, Mammon, Nagito

name a public figure you find to be overrated? Why? The Outsider, Alastor, Corvo

what purpose do you get out of using tumblr? Everyone, though I have my guesses for most of you.

Pretty sure I got all the questions. We did our best.

Where you said everyone is just who wanted to answer. There's plenty who don't want to play or who don't come close enough to front to answer at all.

Describe yourself through the eyes of a stranger?

Dyns- Weird silent punk ass who needs an attitude adjustment and is too old to be acting this way.

Angel- Tall, flirty slut. Affeminant to the point that maybe it's offensive to other gay men?

Alastor- A well dressed, if old fashioned, fellow. Holds himself confidently and smiles a lot. Perhaps a little unnerving

Corvo- tall and broad, tanned and fit. Going grey but strong and fast for his age. Quick eyes. Razor tongue. A man who may have been a protector for too long so it's all he knows.

Mammon- tall, white haired, red eyed, to many sharp teeth. Not human. Smirks a lot

Tony- playboy, suave, quick talker, taller than expected, can't take anything seriously

Nagito- Thin, a little twitchy, strange pale maybe sick boy. Smiles a lot and believes in hope to a fault

The Outsider- Black eyes that see into everything. Pale skin cool to the touch. Cryptic and mysterious. A dark enigma.

What is a quality you'd like to change about yourself?

Dyns- in headspace my left leg is pretty bad off and it fucked me up when I front.

Alastor- I suppose it's prideful to say nothing. Though I am from the ring of pride.

Corvo- I have a hard time allowing myself to relax. To my detriment.

Share a secret about yourself.

Alastor- No

The Outsider- I will not be doing this.

Corvo- I miss Serkonos even though I've not been there since my childhood unless it was in business.

Angel- Shit. Ok. I got one. One a my kinks is getting pulled around on a leash and we all know how fucked up that is.

Tony- My "source" is a culmination of everything CAL had encountered about Tony Stark through the MCU, comics, wiki, animation, word of mouth, headcanons, fandom, ect. So I don't have a real source at all. I'm a sourceless fictive.

What advice would you give your childhood self?

Alastor- During hunting season looking like a hunter is a better disguise than not.

Angel- You can be a star without being a toy

Corvo- Treasure all the time you get. Every second of it.

The Outsider- Fight.

Tony- You can always figure it out

What's your favorite form of flattery?

Tony- Flattery. Whatever you've got.

Angel- brutal honesty

Alastor- Favors

Describe your personal style.

Dyns- I guess punk.

Angel- hot girl.

Alastor- I believe it's referred to as business casual. A button up, a vest, nice pants, nice shoes ideally polished, a working watch, hair styled, cologne on. For day to day. Nicer of course if the occasion calls for it

Who was your very first artistic inspiration?

Dyns- Banksy

If you could choose only one meal to eat for the remainder of your life, which would you choose?

Anyone

Angel- One meal? Pasta. Plenty a kinds and even if you limit it to one sauce you can change the amount so there's some variety.

Chiaki- Fried Rice with mushrooms

Alastor- Steak. Medium rare.

If you could domesticate any animal as your pet, which would you choose?

Tony- I'm not really fond of pets. Even less fond of exotic pets domestic or otherwise. Can you domesticate a cool looking fish?

Alastor- Humans have domesticated most of the most interesting ones over the millennia. I think a moose perhaps. Or an elk.

Angel- I have the best pet. He's a demon pig and he's perfect.

Corvo- The Outsider

The Outsider- The only creature I want is already domesticated. The rat.

Nagito- A Panda

Favorite mythological creature and why?

The Outsider- A reverent. A spirit seeking revenge for a wrong committed in life which it returns to remedy.

Dyns- the sphinx. I like a creature you have to outwit and solve the puzzles of to get by. Only someone clever can win.

What's one thing you'd tell the last person who betrayed you?

Corvo- "I will find you and you will regret this."

Dyns- Funk 'em. I don't care. It doesn't matter and it's not even in this reality anyway. So what's the point in thinking about it?

The Outsider- It is exceedingly difficult to betray me. I suppose I'd tell him, "Well played."

Alastor- They are taken care of.

Angel- They ain't worth the breath. Saying anything would just give em power

Tony- I can't think of anything. Nothing witty enough, that's still angry enough, that doesn't sound like I'm in pain.

What are you currently trying to accomplish?

Anyone

Chiaki- Getting Nagito stable

Nagito- Staying stable

Tony- get my space adjusted in headspace. It formed... Badly. And I can't seem to get it to shrink to a more appropriate size. I'll figure it out. I just haven't yet.

The Outsider- Force my marked to be interesting. Working himself to death in his room is the epitome of boring.

Describe your personality in only 3 words.

Everyone

Dyns- Angry, Dismissive, Sarcastic

Angel- Flirty, Caring, Actor

Chiaki- Calm, Tired, Passive

Nagito- hopeful, enthusiastic, bitter

Tony- Futurist, Childish, Mask

Alastor- Delightful, vengeful, scheming

The Outsider- Enigmatic, cold, curious

Corvo- Determined, String Willed, Protective

Which animal would you be most terrified to encounter?

Tony- a blue whale. That is an alarmingly big animal

Dyns- Did you know humans are the second most dangerous animals to humans? But I think I'd be scared to be in the water with a hippo.

Angel- Polar Bear. Hear they really will kill you for no reason.

Alastor- Alligator

Corvo- Sperm Whale

Nagito- A tiger

Mammon- animals can fuck right off I'm not scared

Name a public figure you find overrated and why?

The Outsider- Donald Trump. Of those I've investigated he seems the most... Dull. While there is plenty of controversy in his actions his own path has been steady and unbending. Though this was a simple search. I may be wrong. He may be quite fascinating indeed.

Corvo- You know we don't keep up with them so everyone is trying to do penny college research to find a name for you. Pick an influencer who doesn't do anything with their fame but be famous. They don't do philanthropy, or support and causes. They just are famous. That's who I find annoying.

Alastor- Mark Zuckerberg. I'm not entirely clear on what he's done to make so much money nor what he's doing that anyone cares to keep him in the public eye.

What purpose do you get out of using Tumblr?

Everyone

Dyns- It's just a place to fuck off. I don't have much to do in the rare times I front.

Angel- I get to post things I like. It's almost like Pinterest only people actually look at it.

Chiaki- I see mushrooms, games, and pictures of my friends

Nagito- It's the only place I get to see anything like my classmates again. And my underclassmen. I miss them all so much. Even if they hate a horrible thing like me. I miss them.

Alastor- I enjoy art of myself especially. And I like finding people who also feel very connected to creatures in many different ways

Tony- I get to feel connected to things again. Not a lot and not for long. But I can pretend.

The Outsider- You will find I am on this site very little. I enjoy showing images of myself and my marked. Perhaps an additional post or two. But I do not find it as fascinating as Angel or Tony or Nagito.

Corvo- I have my own blog I rarely use and most people forget I have. I want to get something out of it. I want to find my family. Or anyone from source. I'd take Daud or Delilah. But I can't. So I'm not on very much.

[mhaccunoval]

beloveddddd [gently cups your face in my hands] tell me about CIFL <3

HI BELOVED <333

your ticket of admission is a kiss on the forehead <3 as i try to remember what developments have been made since i last talked about it on here...

mmm!!! one that's been haunting me lately (i probably won't actually get around to writing it so i'll share it here): i've been thinking about. well it's an intersection of inspiration from mawce by everybody's worried about owen and a troubled mind by noah kahan but. 22/23 year old maggie (pre-transition donny) going to eli (pre-transition ellie)'s college town— based on the a troubled mind lyrics 'i took a bus out to the city where you live / eaves dropped on strangers' conversations with their kids / in hopes that maybe they'd say something relevant / to ease my worried head'— while in a Weird Headspace (even a manic episode, but more on That later). doesn't get a whole hell of a lot out of it, other than more of The Weird Headspace, especially if (he) sees someone who looks vaguely like eli and/or gets spooked by any deep water around (another point to be elaborated). while somewhat Dissociated in the headspace, makes (his) way down to boston, then to new york, has a mini break in a new york hotel room including shaving (his) head. DOES, then, get home safely and shows up at the hurleys' door— the specificity of new york being important because the shaving of the head leads to (his) hat era and the hat (he) got first says NY on it. marian, god bless her, is a bit shocked at first but. she loves (him) like her own so she fixes the rough/uneven patches of hair, makes sure (he's) well-fed/comfortable, defends (him) when Joseph gets a bit prickly about the whole situation (I HAD ACTUAL DIALOGUE BUT I FORGOR; anyway, i'll elaborate on the prickle AS WELL). lets M— who does want to temporarily go by M since part of the break is gender shit— vent where (he) needs to. and. the part i'm gnawing on the most is, in the morning M's like 'hi annie...' and marian's like 'hi peach :)' because!!! dat baby's a fuzzy little peach right now!!! and. and. joseph, coming to made Some acceptance with the situation, puts a ballcap of his on M's head, probably a chicago cubs cap or something...

ELABORATION 1.) usage of 'manic episode' as i always do, i use the phrasing with careful consideration just because. i know it's not verbage to just throw around. and i use it apprehensively here just because i STILL have not determined whether donny is more bipolar or BPD, but i AM leaning BPD more so. probably in part because of pieces of him that are so very me. but i am also NOT ruling out the possibility just because in some scenes in my head, i can see things that could be a manic or could be a depressive episode. POINT BEING I'M STILL DOING MY RESEARCH AND I'M DOING MY RESEARCH AT ALL, I SWEAR.

ELABORATION 2.) fear of deep water something i really need to do is note all the music inspired lore, particularly the noah kahan inspired stuff. ANYHOW. noah's song fear of water inspired the lore that donny's scared of deep dark water, like any dark parts of lake michigan and for sure the ocean. the other side of the coin (because of course it's a coin) being that ellie was a swimmer in middle school / high school after getting over her own fear of water (inspired by 'you used to be scared of the water / you're safe by the side of your father' from glue myself shut). –– E2a.) naturally, there's a scene in my head related to all of this. in The Awkward Period after ellie moves back— another point for elaboration— what really ends the tension, besides hashing it out, is ellie making him face that fear of the water. not quite fear immersion with, like, going into the depths of the ocean, but taking a dunk in the lake, even against donny's better judgment. and grumbling about it just because it doesn't FULLY reduce the anxiety (just staves it) but he also can't fully complain because if following her word means he's regained some of ellie's trust and bond, then by god he'll do it

ELABORATION 3.) joseph prickliness it prickles me to forget the dialogue i had BUT the main subtext behind it is. prior to donny's transition, he's seen like a daughter to both of the hurley parents, so in some part joseph's always prickly about that, not because he doesn't Want a daughter but because he doesn't know how to have one (not that he knows much about having a son or a kid in general, between him & annie having ellie young-er AND his personality). and it's something he admits to ellie after She's transitioned, saying that he Still doesn't know how to have a daughter. BUT at least he's made an effort in both cases and continues to make an effort for his Blood daughter

ELABORATION 4.) The Awkward Period the awkward period is ALSO music inspired but it's more a conglomerate than anything. like the major components are two song inspired scenes i'll explain in a second but. the general notion with The Awkward Period is that it's a span of a couple months after ellie gets back where things are, well, Awkward. she's trying to handle her grief and readjust to being back home (after four years in vermont, four years in philadelphia) with whatever weird grudge she doesn't understand being held by donny as a cherry on top. and donny's still sifting through said grudge, still compartmentalizing his anger. so it's a lot of tension filled stares and cutting words for a minute –– E4a.) the major component is the Funeral stuff inspired by orange juice... which is particularly the first/last verse with the placing of the setting as a party. in my head it's the wake, everyone choosing to drown their sorrows are drinking, cue joseph & ellie in the kitchen, with donny walking in; the tension is thick as donny and ellie look at each other, and ellie, out of sheer politeness, wants to suggest that there's stuff to mix a drink with. only for joseph to interject that there's orange juice in the fridge for non-alcoholic drinking, which confuses ellie slightly but only because she doesn't know that donny's the lyric of 'and i haven't drank in six months / on the dot'. which does irk donny a bit more in stewing since that means his sobriety is yet Another piece of information that's been withheld from her / that she doesn't know and therefore another piece of him that she hasn't known –– E4b.) the other major component is the hashing out scene. which also has some orange juice inspiration but is mainly homesick (and even a hint of new perspective)... so Given homesick, it's set like two months after the funeral, donny coming over to the hurley (now just joseph's) residence to Try to make some amends, at least lure ellie out to talk some, in the VERY least go on a walk. tries to talk a bit, though superficially, about things she's missed while away, but that sours quickly. sours quickly because it easily falters into orange juice's talking of waiting so long for a homecoming that there wasn't a thought to ask where they had gone (but now asking Why they had gone). and more importantly into the fact of '[doesn't ellie] find it strange that [she] just went ahead and carried on? ... the last time [donny] drank [he] was face down passed out there in [her parents'] yard / are [they] all just crows to [her] now? / are [they] all just pulling [her] down?' WHICH. is where it turns into a hashing out because ellie bites back with the fact that her heart and her soul, more importantly her life, have changed— even the city had changed, but Somehow donny had not. and all of this continues the awkwardness and tension since now they've rubbed salt into each other's wounds, as much as they needed to hear what the other had to say (as general fact And for communication's sake)

because of being on my orange juice insanity, i'm thinking about 'you didn't put those bones in the ground' in relation to how it's worked into the story. and i forgot about 'now i'm third in the line-up to your lord and your savior'... BUT I'VE ALREADY SAID TOO MUCH IN ONE SITTING AS IS (and i haven't even touched other parts of the stick season album, like northern attitude and all my love, or anything else noah-turned-inspiration)... but do tell me if you want more insanity <3 i am willing and able to offer <3

[russenoire]

🍐 and 🫐!

🍐 is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? a wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc…

answer 1:

the last fandom i sat on the fringes of was star wars. as you may well be aware, its canon is an overcomplicated, top-heavy, redundant mess after the first three films, and george lucas spent way too much time no one asked for in 'fixing' what wasn't broke in the first place. i wasn't even aware of fandom as a community at the time, or in a good headspace to let myself play in that way. so it never occurred to me to patch any of those holes myself with writing or art. were i to travel back in time, i'd merge the prequels with my favorite bits from timothy zahn's heir to the empire trilogy (AKA the thrawn trilogy). i'd purge all the weird ethnic stereotypes like watto and jar jar. and i'd give anakin more meat on his bones as a character. as written, padme's sacrifice for him still makes no sense: i have no clue what she saw in him. as for mob psycho 100, the origin text of my current fandom? i don't find it lacking in any major way i want to fix, really. though i do wish it had more girls; ONE is quite good at writing them. (it is a shōnen series, after all... sidelining female characters seems like a contractual obligation when writing for that demographic /s). i'm a huge fan of the mangaka's approach to characterization in this particular story, too, and the ending is just so damned satisfying. actually no, i take that back. i'd either lose takeuchi or not make him a weird ethnic stereotype. little black sambo all grown up as an indian holy man in a sparkly gold robe? whyyyy. no, he doesn't read as 'black' to me just because he's dark-skinned. look at his hair. (by the way, the illustrations in 'little black sambo', whom he does appear to have been patterned after, are racist caricatures of southern indians that were eventually co-opted to ridicule dark-skinned peoples in general. it's still a beloved children's book in japan.) he's still offensive AF and largely forgettable on top of that. but the easiest fix is to treat him like he doesn't exist. he appears in exactly 4 fics on AO3, and is a POV character in only one of them. tldr: well-drawn characters are my lifeblood, so i tend not to fall hard for stories where i have major bones to pick with the character writing. mob psycho 100 is the first story i've loved deeply enough to write or draw for.

answer 2:

game of thrones deserved an actual ending; GRRM himself will die before he finishes its source material. don't hire me to write it. i will never have enough energy to fix that.

🫐 what’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (a ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

relatively well-adjusted thirty-something kageyama shigeo poking his way around a mild existential crisis, whom i have attempted to write and draw, and shoumob, whom i haven't but absolutely adore @inkedberries' fanart for.