#I have no time to WRITE

[starcurtain]

Haikaveh Fics I Want to Read (Part 4)

1. The situation in Sumeru takes an unexpected turn for the worse as both corruption and the Abyss begin to encroach. Nahida foresees a way to protect her beloved nation, but it's going to take both extensive knowledge of King Deshret's records and the mechanical and structural workings of the old desert empire. How convenient that she knows two people who've researched exactly that.

Or: Alhaitham and Kaveh are forced to team up to finally complete the research project that tore their friendship apart years ago--and, in the process, maybe mend a little more than just their unfinished thesis.

And the rest are under the read more:

2. Haunted by his broken relationships and his idealistic dreams of what a proper, happy family should look like, Kaveh is completely blind to what's happening around him in the here-and-now; it takes him far too long to realize that the rowdy gang of people who've carved out niches in his daily life may not resemble the harmony of his childhood home, but are, nonetheless, a family--full of love.

It's just a found family feel-good fic, featuring: An Alhaitham who has been waiting forever for Kaveh to acknowledge his feelings, double date buddies Cyno and Tighnari who don't mean any of their complaints (about Alhaitham, Kaveh, or even each other), a merc who wanders in and out of their lives like a feral cat, a dancer with big dreams and a bigger heart, and two ancient supernatural beings who definitely aren't children but still sometimes really need an open door and a helping hand.

3. It's not a crime to dream, okay?! Kaveh knows he's not getting out of debt any time soon. He won't be able to build the beautiful mansion of his fantasies for a million more years. But that doesn't mean he can't at least plan for it, right? Right? It should have lots of light, and lots of garden space, and a built-in coffee bar, a good place for warm naps, and at least two desks, close to the Akademiya as a mansion can be, and maybe the library should be a little bigger--the Akasha is gone now, that just makes sense--

Or: Kaveh drafts the blueprints for his dream home. It takes him until the very last line to realize that he'd just assumed Alhaitham would also be there.

4. "Alhaitham is the most irritating person on the face of the earth! He's temperamental, deliberately irksome, lazy, and archons forbid you're in conversation range when he comes across something brand new in those books of his--you won't get a word in edgewise for hours!"

"Kaveh... Have you been drinking again? This doesn't sound like Alhaitham at all..."

No matter who he tells, no one seems to believe Kaveh's story that Alhaitham acts totally different around Kaveh than he does around everyone else. But it's true! Kaveh has to live with it everyday! Fed up with being doubted, Kaveh encourages their mutual friends to eavesdrop to prove it once and for all. If they see just how doubly frustrating Alhaitham really is in private, then maybe they'll finally grant Kaveh the commiseration he is due!

Cyno is in it for the blackmail evidence. Tighnari is in it for the betting pool. Aether's always in it, whatever "it" is. Nahida is nosy. Dehya is there for the laughs. And Nilou's not sure how she got involved at all, but she's definitely going to do her best!

(Or: The Sumeru Crew tries their hardest to spy on Alhaitham to prove he's a simp, and it goes exactly as ridiculously as it sounds.)

5. A 5+1 fic that's just a soft compilation of little things Kaveh has adjusted in his daily life to accommodate to living with Alhaitham (and one time Alhaitham returned the favor). They're small gestures, barely noticeable when taken individually-- remembering to stop for takeout on gloomy days because his roommate hates going out in the rain, memorizing the order Alhaitham uses to shelve his books, tip-toeing because Alhaitham always insists on napping in the living room, no more client meetings after 5pm--but together they form the picture of settling down softly, (sort of) easily, into another person's life.

6. After the Interdarshan Championship, Kaveh wades his way through the arduous process of dividing up and donating Sachin's estate, including properties in the Avidya Forest. But on one trip out to survey land, a run in with Ruin machines leaves Kaveh and Mehrak both worse for the wear. Injured and at the mercy of the jungle, far from help, Kaveh fears the worst--until he encounters a strange, cabbage-shaped creature that seems (if he's understanding its odd way of speaking) like it wants to help. Little does Kaveh know that "help" from an aranara may involve solving endless ancient puzzles, diving into the unfathomable world of dreams--and finding out things about his father that he never could have learned by himself.

Meanwhile, Alhaitham is a rational, calm individual who is most definitely not worried about his roommate disappearing while dealing with a nihilist's estate. He's absolutely not taking time off from his work duties to scour the forest for signs of a missing architect. And he certainly isn't forming any advanced conspiracy theory about forest fairies spiriting people away. Obviously not.

(Or: Kaveh is rescued in the jungle by the same aranara his father befriended decades ago, allowing him to heal some wounds both physical and mental. Meanwhile, suddenly finding himself alone opens up some wounds Alhaitham didn't know he had.)

+1, where Haikaveh isn't the main focus but is definitely still in the background:

A slight canon-divergent AU where, during the Interdarshan Championship, that weird "Hat Guy" takes an unintentionally fierce blow from Cyno and receives a wound that definitely... does not look like something a human being might experience. Kaveh notices and, in typical empathetic fashion, can't let it go--if he hadn't distracted Cyno with all his flailing, that injury might never have happened, so Kaveh's at least got to offer to help this (probably not-quite-human) stranger, right? There isn't any form of engineering on Teyvat that Kaveh can't manage, after all!

It's... easier said that done to actually corner the weird Wanderer, and even easier said than done to get him to agree to Kaveh's checks. But that difficulty is nothing compared to handling the history of abuse writ plain upon the puppet body's inner-workings or the story of centuries of grief the boy finally deigns to share.

Kaveh knows a thing or two about suffering, but there are some things no heart--however much the Wanderer claims to lack one--should have to bear.

If there's one thing Wanderer doesn't trust, it's generosity. If this gullible fool thinks he'll be allowed to fix all the damage Dottore left just completely free of charge, well, he has another thing coming. Say what you want about Wanderer, but he pays his debts.

Or: An odd-friendship fic where Kaveh fixes Scaramouche's injuries-- the ones that can be seen and even some that can't--and Scaramouche pays him back by trying help solve some of Kaveh's problems too, starting with the big, tactless one known as Scribe Alhaitham.

(Archons above, humans are stupid and the struggle is real.)

[jinsai-ish]

I want this fanfic so bad man

It's eating my brain!! I can't stop world building!

Like, they go to different colleges maybe but in the same city? Probably have an apartment instead of dorms for that reason.

Matthew goes to a college more famous for sports than academics obviously. Studies something like bio or forestry or journalism, whatever. I kinda like forestry? He's really there for the hockey. Scholarship, obviously. Plays lacrosse in the spring, but it's more just to keep in shape for hockey. Tino, Berwald, Mathias, and Ivan are on his team. Katya goes to the same school but is an upperclassman. Ivan goes there because his sister does, and also has a hockey scholarship but he moonlights aerospace engineering classes at the other college.

Matt was the quiet kid in high school who you were shocked to find out went to underage drinking parties and got arrested for smoking pot and setting things on fire.

Alfred got an academic scholarship to some big time tech school - engineering, physics, aerospace, computer programming, etc. Would play baseball except he's too focused on his studies but he and Kiku go to every game. Gilbert probably goes there. Eduard, Kiku, and Ludwig definitely do.

In high school, he did Mathlettes and baseball, as well as played the violin, and figure skating. You know, that kid with way too many hobbies who you wanted to hate because he excelled at everything but he was too damn friendly.

Obviously in highschool everyone knew them but now that they're in (different) college and their teachers and classmates don't know about the identical twin thing, which is about to save Matt's ass with the drug test thing.

Or, at least, that's their one braincell-ed plan.

Please send help.

[isshua]

Hey it me the main character how are you? Anyways I wrote you a message and it was a really long paragraph about how you made an amazing chapter 9 because omg that was juicy 😌 but I am too tired to write right now because I am going to take a sweet nap on my beautiful but squishy pillow 😊 but what I will say is how I loved how you made albedo, keaya, and diluc have so much depth to them especially albedo because I know the poor baby’s heart is crying right now also fuck the imposter creator 😡 for turning diluc against us. But this is only mondstat imagine childe, ningguang, beidou, kazuha, and xiao not to mention zhongli because he is going to be such a pain to fight. Two more things one, imagine if Cara(the real one) learned to use all the weapons of teyvat I can imagine her fighting the imposter with a spear, sword or katana and any other weapon all together that would be sooo coool two, where does the imposter on the throne live right now? I really hope it’s not in lieyue because that would cause more problems than solutions.

Hello! Sorry for the late reply, college has been kicking my ASS so I haven't been on Tumblr as frequently as usual! I'm super glad that you enjoyed Chaper 9, it was one of my favorite chapters to write simply because I love writing fighting scenes. Albedo's scenes with Cara were also a lot of fun to write, exploring the relationship the Vessels have with the Creator is also really fun to do too! Albedo cares for Cara so much, and you are absolutely right with the fact that he is heartbroken to see her being hunted by the people who should be loving her and worshipping her.

Cara will only be able to use a sword! I know characters can lore-wise learn to use multiple weapons, but part of Caratrice's lore is the fact that her signature weapon is a sword, so Cara instinctually gravitates towards using one! That may not stop her from trying out some other weapons in the future, if she has the time to, that is. She was training with Albedo for over a month, so who knows when she'll get that amount of downtime again.

The false Creator does not live in Liyue! She doesn't live in either of the seven nations, but actually in a place called the Crossroads. Its divine territory located smack-dab in the middle of Teyvat, and isn't part of any country. There is a palace there that is meant to be the Creator's home, so that is where the false Creator lives!

[breathinginthissilence]

Wip Game

Rules: Write the latest line from your wip (or post where you last left off in your art) and tag as many people as there are words in the line. Make a new post, don’t reblog.

“Loki has won many games,” Thor said pitifully.

Ima not tag a soul and break the damn rules, but INSTEAD say if you see this and you have a fic in progress and feel like being cool, please go ahead

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[sylvies-kablooie]

i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

[nariarts]

Spent a ridiculous amount of time last night obsessively editing my hand written zines in Photoshop to take away any tiny blemishes so they were definitely readable.

Whatever. Understand or don't.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[novakiart]

spideypool but it's a comedy of errors

[convexicalcrow]

come back skulk Cub my beloved come back

[buginateacup]

Every single fic update there is an author trying frantically to find the right balance between a nonchalant aside of "leave a comment if you enjoyed =)" and clinging desperately to the coat tails of a random stranger, dragging along behind them on the street wailing "Please, please! I have to know what you thought! I'm desperate to talk to people about this! Ask me about the alliterative repetition! Ask me about the symbolism!"

[noodles-and-tea]

Continuation of this

[hinamie]

unconditionally

[magnusbae]

To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:

A post in 2023:

A post in 2014:

A zoom out of the same post:

This is what a community looks like.

See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.

It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.

Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.

If you want more of something, reblog it.

[chipper-smol]

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.