#I have no idea wtf it's about except superheroes

[new-revenant]

Dpxdc idea in which Superman meets Dani while she’s out traveling and she helps him out with whatever threat of the day he’s dealing with. This is sometime after the Justice League formed and way before Superman learns about Conner.

Dani does pretty well but then get smacked out of her ghost form and into her human form, so Superman is left to deal with the threat. After the threat is taken care of, Superman’s like “you have a lot of potential young one, thank you for your assistance” or something. And Dani says “thanks I take after the guy I got cloned from.”

Superman - “Your a clone? Who cloned you?”

Dani - “an evil ghost named Plasmius cloned me after a superhero ghost named Phantom because he wanted him to be his son. As you can see he’s not very good at the whole cloning thing.”

“I can call the Justice League? If you want?”

“Nah I’m good, Phantom and sometimes the Fentons are able to beat him up.”

“…Okay can you explain a bit more please?”

Somehow Dani manages to convince Superman that the Fentons are in fact not evil mad scientists, that Plasmius is just a regular weird ghost that just so happens to look like a vampire(Dani wanted to convince him that he was actually a vampire but that didn’t work), and somehow managed to convince him that she was cloned from both Danny Fenton and Phantom since Plasmius wanted a way with Danny’s mom to marry him or something.

Superman offers her again for League help, but she declines saying, “Your pretty strong, you can help by yourself. Speaking of help, I actually need some of that right now.”

Superman - “What do you need help with?”

Dani - “I need clothes and food and probably enough money to rent a motel room for a night.”

Anyways that’s how Superman adopts Dani. Dani still travels around but now she makes frequent pit stops to Metropolis and the Daily Planet. It’s not long until the League finds out about her and whenever asked about herself, Dani just gives them non-answers and disappears before appearing again to prank them. Superman says that she’s practically his daughter and Dani just nods and that’s all they have to go off on. Dani told Superman to not spill about her past unless it was absolutely necessary.

Dani once introduced Superman to Danny when Dani started destabilizing again-and Superman was going to Amity Park as Clark Kent to interview the Red Huntress since by then Amity Park is a bit more well know with the whole Pariah Dark thing or something-and Danny was fangirling the whole time since Dani straight up told him that Clark was Superman. Phantom was also fangirling but it was because Superman was a hero and definitely not because he was an alien since Danny and Phantom are definitely two different people.

Dani sometimes calls Clark while he’s at work and now everyone at the Daily Planet knows he’s got a kid now. They are very supportive.

Now, Superman knows about clones and has a more positive outlook on them as simply people who can mold themselves into what they want to be, not whatever their creator created them for. And then he meets Conner.

That’s right, this whole prompt was just a ploy for good dad!Superman for Conner! And now Superman has a reputation for adopting clones. But nobody knew that Dani was a clone(except Batman probably) until Conner arrived. So now the League are asking about that. Sucks to suck for Superman since the League are like “wtf why did you not tell us this?” And Superman’s like, “Dani told me not to tell you guys because she was scared :(“. That works, somehow. Now Conner also has a chaotic older sister who cares about him dearly. Not to mention Team Phantom who also support him to hell and back. Happy times all around.

[howtotrainyouragents]

Agent H's Movie Reactions

Ladybug and Cat Noir the Movie

A reimagining of how Ladybug and Chat Noir, and their secret identities Marinette and Adrien, met, fell in love, and saved the world

-I was trying so hard to make this a non-comparison reaction and judge it on it's own basis, but there's just too little in the actual movie and too much to actually say so here we go lol

-Truly I think the weakest part of this movie is just the script. The dialogue is so generic, it's almost soulless. It has to directly say what the characters feel at all times and has to give the most basic children's movie messages as the answer. For ex, that scene where she meets Tikki, and Tikki just speedruns the explanations is so bad bc like, the reveal of the power is an important part of any superhero story, and them speedrunning it is like "lol, we don't care, you know the deal, let's just move past it" which is bad for immersing yourself in the story

-Marinette is so generic here, it was annoying to me. And she keeps talking about her dreams and fears but what are your dreams and fears?? All she is just timid and awkward here (which makes sense why people are goo gah over this version)

-Personally, I don't like the idea that your old self is bad and you have to get rid of it but that's just me

-Marinette wears a tank top underneath the jacket??? she’s just like me fr

-That poll going around that was like, What was the message of the movie? I thought that was a joke and there was obviously a correct answer. But oh no. They genuinely just changed the message of the movie like every twenty minutes

-What was the point of making the Ladybug and Cat rivals if Ladynoir immediately solve working together like the second time they meet. And what does the "stronger together" mean, like was it making their superpowers literally stronger or was it just teamwork is better?

-Everyone just felt mean to each other? Like Adrienette/Ladynoir, but also like Marinette wouldn't be so mean to her dad? And Alya teasing her about being friendless? And Chat Noir could be seen as joking around but they don't give that impression enough, so he comes off as kind of just a jerk.

-Chat Noir is adorable until he speaks. I love that little arms-flailing run from the gargoyle in the church

-Also I need that dialogue scene of "I have nine lives, razor-sharp sense, etc." to be like a meme picture set please

-HE HAS LITTLE GLITTER ON HIS MASK :(((

-Yeah, I have no idea why Marinette likes Adrien other than he's hot when they first meet. (And I have no idea what his deal is. Why was he sitting lonely in the library? How does he know Chloe? How does he know Nino and no one else? No explanations!!)

I have no idea why Chat Noir likes Ladybug other than she saved his life. Like, okay, and? This movie seems to think that the only good acts is saving someone from danger, and all the million good tiny acts that the characters do in the show that fundamentally are a part of who they are isn't important

-Some of the Ladynoir banter was a little more banter-is-cool-right-right? than characters-actually-talking-and-bantering

-That being said, I AM NOT IMMUNE TO LADYNOIR

-The animation is gorgeous HOLY FUCK. I could watch these scenes all day. And I don't really mind, with some exceptions (ALYA. MARINETTE'S DAD), the character designs

-I did scream at seeing Luka. But upon a closer look, wtf did they do to him

-I liked Chloe's design in the promos, but I don't actually like it that much here, her hair is too stringy

-*Me cradling show!Plagg and whispering* "Who did this to you? Who hurt you like this? I will kill them all for you." (No, but seriously, No Plagg's galaxy design? The fart jokes? The not-caring-about Adrien?)

-I can't believe they've made me say this, but I think I prefer Hawkmoth's show design? His face is a little too expressive here (esp when Gabriel's really isn't), and it weirds me out

-I do think it's cute to have all the classmates and side character cameos

-There was some shots that just felt confusing, like I'm not sure where they wanted my focus to be

-Some of the back and forth scenes could've been edited a little sharper

-Hahaha, I like that they unnecessarily amped up the yoyo design

-If they were really doing such big-budget animation, they should've gone for it and given the characters new outfits and all each day. I'd pay for it

-I was THIS close to just skipping all the songs. And honestly I should've, they (except maybe the Ladynoir falling in love song?) didn't add anything to the story.

-I always love Lou singing for Marinette, but the contrast between Cristina's speaking and Lou's singing is SO BAD WHO APPROVED THIS

-Girl, you can't have a self-realization song in the middle of a fair on fire

-This movie owes me money for making me watch Gabriel sing. It was a fun song, but you owe me reparations

-"A she-ro!" Boooo! Negative points for trying too hard! Haha, Also Ladybug literally wasn't doing anything atm when Alya said that

-Nino having a crush on Alya is so cute

-Adrien sad boi hours

-“Evil Miraculous” Nooroo doesn’t deserve this slander :(

-Master Fu was, uh, a lot

-Also, they keep harping on, You have to save the world!! (Oh my goodness why was Tikki so serious) Which like makes me appreciate how the show smartly keeps it's stakes reasonable and contained to Paris bc that's such an easy pitfall for superhero genres to fall into

-Ladybug and Chat Noir didn’t even save the day??

-Sheesh, and you guys were mad thinking season 5 finale gave Gabriel a redemption (which it didn't)??

-YES YOU ARE RIGHT ADRIEN WOULD CRY LEARNING MARINETTE IS LADYBUG

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE THIS ENTIRE FUCKING FANFIC MOVIE AND THEY DON'T EVEN KISS

-Look, Adrien deserves to tell his dad off, but this Adrien doesn't because it doesn't feel built up or paid off at all

-Dude. The reveal of Emilie doesn’t mean anything in this version of the story

-People who love the show will hate the movie and people who hate the show will love the movie

[mha-grievances]

Ok, so I know that I constantly criticize MHA. I constantly bitch and moan about how much missed potential there are in the series, how the pacing is ass, how Hori’s comedy is atrocious, how there are many plot holes, how Katsuki is an utterly shit character, yada yada yada. The way you see me talk about MHA probably makes you think that I feel it’s the worst anime of all time.

Trust me, it’s far from the worst thing that’s out there. Like any sort of media, anime is littered with some bizarre, atrocious stuff.

Future Diaries is an anime that has cemented itself as a hugely influential aspect of pop culture, Yuno being THE character that defines the idea of a Yandere. However the series goes into batshit crazy territory that makes absolutely no sense, the MC is all kinds of shitty, and, well, shit happens just to happen.

Redo of Healer is revenge r*pe fantasy that has no well defined characters. They’re either comically fucked up or just there to contribute to the MC’s harem. Also magic sperm.

Pupa is an incest anime (yes, anime, not hentai) about a sister who needs to eat flesh to survive and a boy who can regenerate. For the sake of your sanity, I’m not going to talk about this further.

School Days goes off the rails and has perhaps some of the most unlikable characters to ever exist, including the MC himself. Meant to subvert the typical romance visual novel, things get into wtf territory fast. Honestly I constantly debate whether School Days is a masterpiece in what it does or if it falls under the same pit traps that other series that aim to “subvert expectations” does.

These series (except for perhaps School Days, still tryna figure out where I stand on it) are far worse than MHA, which is incompetent at worst.

So why do I criticize MHA rather than these series?

Well, MHA is an interesting beast. Future Diaries, Redo of Healer, and Pupa know what they are. They know that their storytelling isn’t the best. They know that they’re fantasies for perverts, people who just wanna watch something fucked up, those who like the shock factor/harem aspects, all that stuff. They don’t try to be anything more than what they are, and there’s nothing wrong with that (and by that I mean there’s nothing wrong with them not being deep. Whether the content shown might be is a different topic all together). MHA is a series that tries to offer commentary on the real world and wants us to take it seriously, but there are barriers that stop this from happening. Whether it’s Hori failing to allow his MC to breathe which makes things feel angsty for the sake of it, his failure to tackle the themes in a meaningful and non-hypocritical manner, his “comedy”, missed potential that he doesn’t capitalize on or cares to, the creation of characters meant to embody certain themes but fail at doing so (Katsuki, Shota, etc.), fake tension that goes nowhere, or Hori springing shit at the last minute to up the stakes but only makes people scratch their heads. MHA is a series that, despite it being a colorful world of superheroes and having a charming set of characters, is meant to serve as a criticism of society and a dive into what it means to be a hero. Sadly it fails to do this accurately. I can meme and shit on Pupa, Future Diaries, and Redo of Healer, but besides edgy 12 year olds on YouTube who think they’re philosophers, everyone will pretty much agree that these anime aren’t good. Even the fans will agree. Wildly entertaining as fuck, yes, but not good, and they weren’t designed to be good or thought provoking. They were designed to appeal to a certain demographic and keep them entertained as they turn their brains off. MHA however demands that we use our brains, to analyze the material that’s being shown and to question ourselves, but it sabotages its themes at numerous points and that’s what makes MHA the subject of my analysis. It’s a series that ultimately fails at what it’s trying to do, and what it’s trying to do is pretty big. Take Katsuki for example. MHA is constantly shoving down my throat that Katsuki is a good person and that he’s worthy of being a hero, but it does it in an obnoxious way and constantly contradicts itself with Katsuki’s actions. Meanwhile the other anime I mentioned don’t bother propping their characters like the second coming of Christ, some even embracing the fact that a character is shitty, and if they do try shoving down my throat a character is good, it’s done in such a laughably bad way that it’s far more funny than it is annoying.

To me it’s interesting HOW MHA manages to fail at what it’s trying to do and it serves as an example of what works and doesn’t work when writing a similar series. In MHA what works really works and shows that there is immense potential in MHA to be something amazing, further proven by the fact that some of the characters and some of the arcs are well written. However what doesn’t work really reduces the quality of the series and makes you wonder how one writer can understand the assignment in some instances and completely bomb it in others (especially in key moments where the writer is meant to give it their all and showcase WHY their series is so popular and WHY they chose to write this series and about certain topics rather than do something else).

So yeah, if you wonder why this blog was made, and why MHA over everything else, now you know 😂.

[astronova-00]

*Not HP related

Does anyone know this god awful show called Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir? No? Well good. Because you never never never want to be sucked into a hole of watching this cringe worthy, heart burning show. Trust me, I would know. I’ve been watching this show for almost ten years of my fucking life.

See seasons 1 through 3 are garbage. Basically episodes that are there for plot points and background. Just for you to have the lore of everything and get a ‘feel’ for the side (and main) characters. (Also there a bunch of funny moments in the show, that are awful-in a good way!)

Okay, now you may be asking- Astro wtf is the point of this post if you aren’t going to explain what the show is about. Well, I’m glad you asked-because frankly I’m still trying to figure that out myself (not really). Basically there are two main characters named: Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste. See now, Adrien and Marinette have alter egos? basically where they are superheroes. They gain these powers from these little floating creatures called Kwamis, which are named Tikki (for Marinette) and Plagg (for Adrien).

Tikki and Plagg were given to Marinette and Adrien from this old man named Master Fu. He was the guardian of the miraculous! Now Miraculous are these pieces of jewelry (each one is different/similar) which hold the different kwamis that possess different abilities/powers. Throughout season one and two, we see that the miraculous are kept with Master Fu, except for the earrings (Ladybug) and the ring (Chat Noir).

The whole show follows Marinette and Adrien around highschool and shows how Marinette has an obsessive crush on Adrien (yes this includes stalking as well). Adrien being the clueless dummy has no idea but only has his eyes set on Ladybug. YES GUYS THERE IS A LOVE SQUARE!! And it goes like this:

Chat Noir loves Ladybug who loves Adrien who loves Ladybug but Marinette loves Adrien.

And the best part? Adrien and Marinette don’t know their identities as Ladybug and Chat Noir to each other! Fantastic!!!

I could go on about this show (I cannot type it well enough to explain it, but honestly if you are in to watch a show about highschool lovers that’s a little cringe and the episodes have plot then a fighting scene and then ending plot, this is right up your alley).

I won’t get into season four and five as those are still new and people are still watching them, but it’s very worth it to want season 5, the newest episode (Protection? I think it was?) it’s actually really good!!

K. Imma go follow a bunch of miraculous accounts and become even more obsessed again!

[robinine-blog]

I stumbled across the Flash movie today.

I thought it would be fun, dimension jumping Flash, multiple batman... from a basic summary, it sounds like my kind of movie.

So we get a random guy complaining to the coffee shop employee that the usual Girl usually has his order waiting for him. I was thinking, huh, odd way to introduce a villain but okay, Harley Quinn sang raptures over that breakfast bap, maybe this is a thing now.

Except no, that's the hero, that's the Flash. The whiny entitled doshbag making problems for coffee shop employees.

>.> The Flash?

I mean, Barry and Wally are the nicest guys you will ever meet in the comics. They are friendly, cheerful, have good relationships with the police , the public and even their rogue gallery.

Then we get Alfred calling up for help, and wait a moment, when did the Bats call for help?

Nope, the Flash is on clean up duty because Batman has left a mess without securing the scene because there's somewhere else he's rushing off towards.

And all this time Flash has a little countdown to starvation on his wrist reminding him that he hasn't eaten. Seriously Bats, couldn't you ensure there was pockets and an energy bar or 200 in the Flash's new costume? Don't you know to pay the clean up crew?

Then there's an explosion, and the newborn babies we keep cutting to go flying out the windows.

Dead babies. Disbelief, because wtf! Who thought this was a good idea? There's suspension of Disbelief, but nope, those babies are Dead.

Only not dead because superhero magic.

I'm sorry, but room exploding = dead babies. Newborns probably would have been practically dead before they went out the window. Mortally injured, do the writers not know how fragile newborns are?

So then we get the expected, look how fast I am, everything is in slow mo. Fine.

And the Flash breaks into a vending machine, tops up his food belly, and puts all the babies in a line so... they can land on a hospital bed?

Yeah... the babies are dead like 20 times over at this point.

Entirely stupid scene but I suppose they wanted to top the Quicksilver saves everyone from the Mansion exploding scene. They failed miserably but I guess they were going to try.

Then we get the utterly stupid teenage boyish thoughts as the Lasso of Truth gets wrapped around Bats, Villain and Flash.

I mean, it's the Lasso of Truth! Do they have no respect? I am fuming at the writers. It's not a toy to force your teammates into revealing sensitive information about themselves.

It's meant to be comedic. The joke was lost of me, all I saw were immature men embarrassing themselves.

At which point I decided enough and walked away.

10 minutes in and I hated the movie

I didn't even make it to the dimension jump

The Flash is meant to be the nice guy!

Batman is meant to be a veteran hero!

I saw nothing of my heroes in those 10 minutes.

At least Aquaman 2 was half decent. Watchable at least even if I facepalmed a few times

[vivitalks]

omg i didn't see that you did a writer's ask game! hopefully it's not too late to send asks? if not, may i ask 1, 7, 12, 15, & 5 about "blow a kiss to concern"? thank youuu 💙

i reblog a writer's game and then don't answer this ask for several days SORRY! love you here i am now let's go

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?) this is a tough question because i write in a lot of different fandoms. however, i am going to give two answers. one is the stydia fic blow a kiss to concern (which will be discussed later) because it has a lot of tropes i enjoy - driving, flirting, canon compliance, fluff with some angst, all the good stuff. the second is my kate bishop & peter parker series young & not too wise which has two fics - one of kate and peter meeting before the events of the hawkeye show, and one of them meeting right after. one thing i really enjoy doing is taking two characters who haven't really met or interacted but have the grounds for a fascinating interaction to meet and talk. so like, post-nwh peter has all this trauma from being a superhero, and pre-hawkeye kate is all starry-eyed wanting to be a superhero, and i loved the idea of those two perspectives meeting, two young new yorkers with such different life experiences. i do this kind of pseudo-crossover a lot and it's always so much fun.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of? i don't worldbuild that often. i am a big big fan of writing things that are canon compliant or very slightly canon divergent (one character lives instead of dies, a relationship is broken up instead of still together, that kind of thing) where the broader universe is still intact, because i feel like in fictional media, part of what's so fun and interesting about writing the characters is dealing with the shit they've gone through and experiences they've had as a result of the universe they exist in.

that being said, i did a smidge of worldbuilding (really more like world-expanding) for my bellarke fic taking the world off your shoulders, particularly the couple of grounder villages they wind up in, and that was fun. the 100 established this bit of canon where only the warrior grounders speak english but then we didn't get a lot of opportunities to see the communities of non-warrior grounders who didn't speak english at all, so i especially liked dipping my toes into sonia's village and exploring a community of people who aren't involved at all in the grounder violence/war and are just peaceful and self-sustaining

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you? mmmm i'm thinking about it but can't come up with any. i think i've probably gotten to like more rarepairs, but that's not a trope (maybe just an influence of hanging out with you lol).

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written? like i said before i don't write a lot of AUs outside of your garden-variety canon divergence, so my options for answers here are limited. i guess my favorite AU is the whole post-age of ultron series i wrote where everything is the same except that pietro lives (bc seriously wtf was that). the series is called pietro lives 'verse but it wound up becoming an entirely clint-barton-centric series and i apologize for nothing.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about blow a kiss to concern? Answer it now! "hey raviv, what's so special about driving stick shift?" look. you'll never know. you'll never understand until you're driving a bunch of foreigners from literally any other country other than america and they suddenly go, "wait is this a manual?" and you get to very nonchalantly say "yeah it is." you just can't know the level of smug pride you get to experience when people are impressed with you for something as simple as that.

also, driving stick is an even more involved way to do the already-hella-romanticizeable act of driving, and in my experience, it is frustrating as SHIT to learn. and like, stiles loves his fucking car so fucking much. the only other person we ever see drive that car is scott (i think?), most likely because it's not something most people can do, but also because scott is like a brother to him, one of the people he loves the most in the entire world. it's a huge act of trust for stiles to let someone else drive his car. so the idea that there's a skill lydia doesn't have but wants, and only stiles can realistically teach her because he's the only one with both the know-how and the actual car to teach her with is just. very charming in its potential. plus, learning stick at ALL is really hard and it's a testament to the relationship between stiles and lydia that she isn't constantly in tears, because like. he completely believes she can do it, and she completely trusts him to teach her. I JUST THINK THEY'RE NEAT

ask me a question for fic writers!

[sintassays]

Daredevil: Hell to Pay

Ok, so my first ramble on here is gonna be about this Daredevil story arc because I just finished reading it, and it’s still fresh in my mind. Keep in mind that I’m not an actual critic and this is just my random thoughts on stuff I’m passionate about, so if you want a thorough, structured critique, you won’t find that here.

This was the first time I’ve read Daredevil and holy shit what a ride. I like ordinary superhero comics as much as the next nerd, with all the wackiness and world-ending stakes and so on, but having a nice street-level story where the comic book craziness is turned down a notch is always refreshing. I love that the story follows Matt Murdock’s legal battles just as much as his physical battles. At points, I was so interested in the drama and mystery that I forgot what I was reading falls under the superhero genre.

And now we get to the plot and spoiler elements, so if anyone is actually reading this, consider yourself warned:

As mentioned earlier, this arc was the first time I’ve read Daredevil. But I still knew the basic elements of the character before diving into this story, like the fact that he’s known as “the man without fear.” And so I appreciated that this story really deconstructed that idea and had Murdock really struggle with his fear, particularly his fear of failing and losing the people he loves. I mean, the villain in this arc is eventually revealed to be Mr. Fear, so of course many people probably saw this theme coming, but I appreciated it nonetheless. I couldn’t stop reading as Murdock’s determination to save his wife eventually completely overrode the effects of Mr. Fear’s gas. As he was winning the fight toward the end, he was damn near unstoppable. 

But unfortunately in this instance, Daredevil won the battle, but not necessarily the war. And this is something I don’t like much about comics. As far as I can tell (because I’m a relatively new comic reader), because these stories are written non-stop over the course of decades, writers don’t always like sticking to the status quo. They like to change things up. And in no area is this more true than relationships. The amount of superheroes with a consistent relationship is frustratingly small, and Daredevil, at least at the end of this arc, is no exception. Milla, his wife, remained a victim of Mr. Fear’s drugs at the end of the story and continued to stay in a psychiatric institution. And when I got curious and looked at the wiki after I finished reading, I found that her relationship with Daredevil never recovered from this. Why??? Why couldn’t this be resolved? Why does this relationship have to fall apart? Larry Cranston’s goal was to hurt Daredevil not just physically but mentally and emotionally, and in doing so, he hurt the reader too. Wtf, man. Just wtf.

[bigskydreaming]

But seriously....ugh, Legion of X. Its so annoying because I genuinely like a lot of the Arakkii worldbuilding, the new characters, I’m intrigued by Mother Righteous and the implications of Tumult’s very existence, I LOVE the concept of the Altar and how weird and esoteric all of that is, and FINALLY a writer is moving David Haller’s character FORWARD and actually BUILDING something with his character and its like. Yes, THANK you.

But then we switch tracks to the law enforcement/justice system aspect of the series. 

And its like. Hahahaha. Getting slapped right in the face with the complete opposite of ‘hey this series might be good, actually.’

Like I’m sorry but I’m still mad how are you going to launch your new series about exploring all new approaches to law enforcement and the very concepts of justice and who its for and who it benefits and whether you want to be punitive or rehabilitative, designate some people as being unable/unwilling to fit into society or change society to accommodate outliers.....

And then have your self-appointed law enforcement/authority figures SECRETLY KILL OFF the villain of your VERY FIRST ARC, while going behind the back of their boss to do so on the basis of THEY KNOW HE WOULDN’T APPROVE AND WOULD ARGUE IT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING THEY CLAIM TO BELIEVE IN....

All on the basis of THEM arguing....oh, it was just a necessary evil. Expedient. We didn’t know what else to do with the guy. Plus it let us smooth over a political tangle we had with the Arakkii. Everyone wins except the one guy who was just killed off without a trial, without public accountability, without a perusal of actual OPTIONS.....all for the sake of political power moves with ZERO regard for the actual VICTIMS of the guy’s actual CRIMES, who despite (the writer) making a POINT to show how SCARED these victims were of their victimizer coming back and doing this again.....will never actually even KNOW that they no longer have anything to fear because their tormentor is no longer even alive....because nobody but this small group of individuals actually know that. Because it was a secret that Switch was killed, for some mumble mumble societal greater good.

Like.

LITERALLY WTF I AM STILL SO MAD what are you even DOING trying to pretend like you’ve done ANYTHING new here whatsoever and this isn’t like, literally emblematic of everything that’s ever been wrong with every existing justice system since ever, looooool. 

I’d honestly be okay with it if the entire point was to emphasize the hypocrisy and be like ‘meet the new system/boss, same as the old one’ - don’t get me wrong, I still would have considered it a waste, like if you’re going to radically upheave the status quo with superhero comics and actually create room for explorations of entirely brand new societies and institutions on the kind of grand level we see in the X-books, I’m always gonna rather you actually DO some honest, engaging attempt at exploring something new there rather than just default to some cynical ‘oh people all suck there’s no improvement to actually be made here’ Take O’Awesomeness.

But like, if at least the arc had shown even a HINT of actual awareness that its resolution - which issue #5 speedran through as quickly as possible, as if expediency was the point of an arc that nominally began as ‘expediency should NEVER be the point of justice/law/accountability/reparations’ - like if there’d even been a HINT that the issue got that like....hmm. The Takeaway of this arc does not actually match up all that well with the Thesis with which this arc first embarked....

I coulda at least been like, well at least they see what they’re doing here.

But there was nothing like that. There’s absolutely nothing in the issues themselves that support the idea that Spurrier has even the SLIGHTEST awareness of how thoroughly his resolution shot his own premise in the foot, and its like.....seriously? Did you even read what you wrote? Gaaaaah.

[verfound]

Here in this diary! (I think I know but I wanna seeee)

...I was honestly gonna save these for the next two WIPWednesdays, but then someone said @lukanettejune had Villain!Luka as today's prompt (6/4), and it just seemed like it'd be fun to share this today?

Because I've been sitting on Villain!Butterfly!Luka for a while now without having a lot of time to work on it, and I'm pretty sure the only ones I've discussed it with are the OG LBSC crew. And y'all will never believe when I say our Fluffy Meet Cute Queen is the one who gave me the prompt. 😁

The prompt started with Marinette recording Guardian/Ladybug-specific things in her diary, in case anything ever happened to her (because superheroes typically don't have a long life expectancy lbr), to explain - or to lead the next Guardian. I can't remember if Luka specifically getting the diary/Marinette giving it to him was the original idea (it's LBSC it probably was), but it...ran away with me. And Shadowman was born.

The summary: Under normal circumstances, Luka would never read someone’s diary. But Marinette’s been missing since Ladybug’s death, and he’s desperate. Every page gives him new insight into the girl he was realizing he never really knew. Every page reveals just how much Paris had failed its beloved heroine – how much he had failed her. Now Luka Couffaine is out for revenge, and the only person who could stop him is gone.

So here's what I've got.

We open on the death of Ladybug. It's the final showdown with Hawkmoth, and Viperion is the only 'temporary' hero there because LB thought they'd need Second Chance (and he's the only one she really trusts anymore). Viperion and Chat Noir are standing over LB's body, and Hawkmoth is cackling behind them, Mayura crumpled at his feet. He tells them he might not have won, but they haven't either - "Your hero is dead! Your precious Ladybug is DEAD!"

And Viperion walks over and just clocks him. He takes Hawkmoth and Mayura's Miraculous, but when he turns around Chat and Ladybug are gone. This leads him to believe Chat has LB's body/her Miraculous - but he's...confused. Did this mean they won? He hears the sirens approaching and waits for the police. Before they take hi away, Gabriel asks him: "Have you actually won anything? Is Paris truly safe?"

Two weeks pass. It's a mixed bag: Hawkmoth is defeated, but Chair Noir hasn't been seen or heard of since the defeat, and Ladybug is dead. Paris is safe but in mourning. Luka is guilt-ridden over Ladybug's death, convinced he could have prevented it and his failure to fix it makes him an unworthy Snake. He renounces Sass, and he's been keeping the Snake, Butterfly, and Peacock in a safe place.

In this 'verse, Luka doesn't know or suspect that Marinette is Ladybug. Immediately after the battle, Luka called Marinette. He needed to talk to her, to see her - but she never answered. He tried to go over the next morning, but Sabine calls him and lets him know Marinette wasn't in her bed that morning. They didn't hear her leave, but she's not answering her phone and they can't find her - has he seen her? So for two weeks he has been at the bakery almost constantly, tirelessly helping Tom and Sabine search for Marinette. No one can find her. No one's heard from her. And he's starting to go a little nuts.

(Note that this takes place during summer - HM was defeated right before break. Dingo's back in Australia for the summer, which is important for Reasons. Luka's not in school, stopped going to work, and is using pretty much all his time to help look for Marinette.)

So it's been two weeks. No akumas because no Hawkmoth, a dead Bug, and a missing Marinette. Luka's at the bakery, shambling around Marinette's room. Tom and Sabine are downstairs, waiting on a call from Roger who may have found a lead. And Luka's just poking around, spiraling, when he notices...the box with Marinette's diary is open. It wasn't open before. And there, on top of her diary, are two letters: one addressed to him and one addressed to Chat Noir.

So he reads his. It's a goodbye/Just In Case letter. She explains how she was hoping he wouldn't find it/she wouldn't need it. She'd set a magical lock on the box, so that if something happened and she didn't come back...and she's sorry. She's so sorry, because she never wanted to drag Luka back into this, but she needed him. She tells him her diary will explain everything: she wrote everything down, and she always thought it was because she just loved to journal, but she realized it was because she never had any proper training. The next Ladybug/Guardian deserves better. If she doesn't make it, the next LB/Guardian has to be prepared. Better than she was.

And Luka can't move. Can't breathe, can't think. Because the letter had been addressed to him, and he wasn't going to read it, but he had hoped maybe there was a clue, except the clue was...Marinette is Ladybug.

Ladybug is dead.

...Marinette is dead.

And it's all his fault.

And he reads her diary, convinced he had to have misunderstood...but it's all there. Everything. Becoming Ladybug, her spiraling feelings for Adrien, Chat being so pushy with his affections, her troubles with Lila and the class, the expulsion, Alya constantly pushing/pressuring her with Adrien, becoming Guardian, feeling like she had to bear everything because Chat was so lackadaisical/reckless/self-sacrificing, her growing feelings for Luka...and Luka realizes it's true. She was Ladybug, and she was going through so much more than she ever let on. And he realizes that all of them - even him - only made it worse. And they're not going to find Marinette, because Ladybug is dead, and they never found Ladybug's body, and...he just goes numb.

He walks out of her room. Out of the bakery. He doesn't answer Tom or Sabine when they ask if he's ok. He just...walks. And he doesn't fully realize any of this/where he was going/doing until he wakes up the next morning in his bed with tears still drying on his face. And Juleka's there, and she's like "bro wtf?" because he's freaking her the hell out, and he just says: "...she's gone."

And for the first time ever, Luka looks at Juleka and is...angry. Furious. And he can't talk to her. He realizes he blames her. He blames himself. He blames everyone: her 'friends', her classmates, her family, Paris...if they had all tried harder, been better, then she wouldn't be...if they hadn't left her all alone...

And Luka just Shuts Down. Everyone's worried about him, but he won't talk about it. He's closing himself off to everyone - even Juleka and Anarka. Sabine calls Anarka, because Luka went from being at the bakery every day helping the search to nothing, but Anarka has no idea?

Luka keeps rereading the diary. He's stuck in this loop of "I should have known," "we should have helped her," "this is our fault..."

And another week or so passes. There's still no sign of Marinette, except now Luka knows why - knows that she's never coming back. And he finally goes back to the bakery to tell Tom and Sabine what he knows, because it's cruel to put them through this any longer. He has the diary, her letter, and the three Miraculous stones with him. And they're all sitting in the kitchen, and he's trying to talk and failing to find the words.

The news is playing in the background: Nadja is doing a special on the rise and fall of Paris's beloved heroine. She comments how Chat Noir hasn't been seen since the "battle that freed Paris from Hawkmoth's reign of terror" and speculates that it's because he's mourning his lover. And Luka just...snaps. Shouts "That lying bitch!" at the television. Sabine asks if he's ok, but he's not - Ladybug is gone. Marinette is gone. And nobody cares. Nobody realized they caused it. And they need to be held accountable - they need to pay.

Tom and Sabine knew about Silencer, of course, but they've never seen calm, sweet Luka so angry before - and it terrifies them. And Tom tries to tell Luka that it's ok - Marinette's not gone, not like Ladybug is. They're going to find her. They can't give up hope. And Luka realizes her own parents didn't even know. They didn't notice. They did nothing to see or stop how she was hurting. And as much as he loves them, he realizes they must pay, too - and he's the only one who can make them. He has her diary. He has the Butterfly. He can make them all realize how alone they left her. He can make them all feel as hopeless as they made her feel - as he feels now.

And he tells Tom he's wrong: Marinette is dead. Marinette was Ladybug, and she's dead, and she's never coming home, and it's all their fault - even his. But they don't believe him, and he leaves without showing them the diary. He just feels...defeated.

Back at the Liberty, he comes home to find Juleka and Rose watching the same report. And he retreats to somewhere deep in the Liberty, somewhere private, where he can don the Butterfly. He starts flipping through the diary, and he finds a passage where Marinette was venting about Nadja: her journalistic integrity ("No wonder Alya thinks its' ok when THAT'S Paris's example!"), the Prime Queen interview when she was more interested in pushing LadyNoir than discussing Hawkmoth, about how she's ALWAYS been like that, how many times she's called her last-minute to watch Manon to chase a story...and it's important to note that none of these things are inherently bad, or that Marinette is saying Nadja's awful for them. She's venting in her diary, like you do. But Luka's in such a dark place by this point that it only makes things worse.

He tears the page out and keeps reading and rereading it. Keeps thinking how Nadja must pay. HE summons Nooroo, and before Nooroo can speak Luka tells him everything that happened. Hawkmoth's gone, but so is LB. That Paris let their Guardian fall. Nooroo is devastated because that means Tikki's gone, too, and what about the Miracle Box? Luka assures him he'll take care of the Box, but Paris has to answer for what they did. Nooroo agrees to help, gives Luka a basic rundown of the Butterfly's powers, and Luka transforms - except Nooroo didn't explain everything, and Luka didn't have Marinette's training, so he doesn't realize Nooroo doesn't need negative emotions. He thinks you have to upset someone to create an akuma.

So he takes the diary page to the TVi studios and confronts Nadja on air. He introduces himself as Shadowman. (For a hot second he considers introducing himself as 'Shadowmoth' - which I would like to point out this story was started before that name was dropped so fuck you Gabriel - but it's too close to 'Hawkmoth', and Hawkmoth was the one who killed Marinette. He refuses to be associated with him/take his name.) He tells Nadja and the world that Ladybug was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. That Marinette is dead because Ladybug is dead. And that Paris caused it.

He accuses Nadja of sensationalizing Ladybug and the akumas/battles. He reads the diary page on air. Nadja doesn't believe him at first, but then he gives her the page and she recognizes Marinette's handwriting. Realizes he's right. She's overcome by guilt/grief, and Shadowman creates an akuma. It goes into the diary page, and Prime Queen is reborn as Telecaster.

And this was all live. All of Paris is watching the broadcast, and they know they aren't safe.

Cut to where Adrien's been hiding. He sees the whole thing, and he can't believe it - until he hears the people in the studio screaming. He realizes he has to do something, because Paris isn't safe anymore, and this time there's no Ladybug to fix his mistakes.

Back at TVi, Telecaster is attacking everyone. As Nadja she was determined to tell the news, even to the point of amping up stories for ratings - but that was kinda forced by her producer? So she's going after the bigwigs at the studio for forcing her to be so ratings-focused/sensationalistic. And she's just destroying the studio, which is...fine. Paris has other media outlets...right? It's just chaos.

Chat Noir finally shows his face and demands to know what Shadowman thinks he's doing/who he is. Part of Shadowman's disguise is literal darkness, so he lets the shadows recede and lets Chat actually see him. And Chat realizes it's Viperion/Luka - and he pleads with him to stop. That LB/Marinette wouldn't want this - that she loved this city and knowing he was attacking it would kill her.

And it's just...the wrong thing to say. Shadowman says the city was what killed her, and they have to answer for it. That Chat has to answer for it. But Chat doesn't understand - he was LB's partner? Her friend? He was at the final battle with her - how is her death his fault?

But Shadowman tells him it's not his time yet. He is coming for him - he will get his Miraculous back for the Box - but not yet. He will get LB's Miraculous back (note that he's operating under the belief that Chat has LB's body/Miraculous, so he honestly believes CHat will just use them to purify the akuma and fix the damage - except Chat doesn't and can't). But Paris must suffer first, just like Marinette suffered. He disappears before Chat can go after him - and then Telecaster is attacking and he has to focus on her.

And Chat does defeat Telecaster, but there's no LB. No one to purify the akuma or fix the damage. He doesn't actually have her Miraculous, so what now? (This leads to Chat having a growing collection of butterfly jars with akumas and no idea how to fix it. Paris needs LB - he needs LB.)

After leaving Chat to deal with Telecaster, Shadowman goes back to the bakery to retrieve the Miracle Box. Marinette's skylight was always open (he always assumed it was because it's the roof no one can enter through there - except now he realizes it was easy access for Ladybug). Tom and Sabine hear noise from her room and burst in with umbrellas/paddles/whatever but freeze when they see Shadowman standing there with the Box. They try and stop him: they saw the report, they know who he is, they realize who Marinette was, and believe it's now their duty to protect the Box, since Marinette can't. And Shadowman is livid, because "You couldn't even protect her. You never even noticed...your home is supposed to be safe. Your parents are supposed to keep you safe. When did you ever do that?"

He akumatizees Tom and Sabine before he leaves: the dual-akuma Safe Harbor. There's no diary page left with them because Marinette never actually spoke out against her parents in the diary: it's just Luka's frustration with them. He leaves them there and goes back to the Liberty to retieve Sass, Duusu, and the diary.

Back at TVi, Chat realizes that if LB was Marinette and LB was the Guardian then Marinette would have the Miracle Box. He takes his coffee mug with the akuma and books it back to the bakery, except her skylight door is now locked? The balcony was always open to him, but is now locked? So he has to go in through the side/home door as Adrien.

Tom greets him. Is being very jittery/Concerned Parent and acting Weird - and so is Sabine. They're both worrying over him, apologizing about Gabriel, asking if he's ok - and he can't get a word in edgewise. Finally yells at them to stop - he needs to see Marinette's room. He needs to get the Miracle Box. And they just...freeze. They don't react at first. He tells them he knows they saw the news - everyone did - so they have to know that Marinette was LB. And LB had the Miracle Box/all the Miraculous gems, and he has to get them back. But they try and laugh it off (again, it's all very stilted), and he finally just transforms. Says he was LB's partner, and with her gone it's on him to protect the Box now. Except when he looks back at them the butterfly mask is over their eyes and he realizes they're akumatized, too - and he just gave his identity away to Shadowman.

Safe Harbor is like a Stepford version of Tom and Sabine. They're turning the bakery into a fortress because they couldn't keep Marinette safe, so now they're making it the ultimate safe haven. And even though Shadowman realizes Adrien's identity, Safe Harbor doesn't fully? They just see it as Adrien fighting back/resisting their protection - so they deem him a threat and start attacking him. (Again, no diary page here: the akumatized object is a family photo of Tom, Sabine, and Marinette.)

After the fight, Chat goes to trap the akuma in the coffee cup with the other one - only to realize the cup is empty. He remembers akumas can phase through objects, and he has no feasible way of trapping the akumas. But...Cataclysm destroyed Uncanny Valley. Could it maybe destroy akumas, too? Before he can try it, the akuma is released and a white butterfly flutters away.

Across the street, Shadowan is lurking and watching him. He doesn't understand why Chat didn't use Ladybug's powers to purify the akuma. Why isn't Chat fixing any of this? Does he want to watch the city burn? He thinks Chat's just being stubborn. Well, he can be stubborn, too. He has to up his game next time. He releases the akuma because, deep down, Shadowman is still Luka. He still cares about the city and the people he's going after. Maybe a little sliver of conscience not letting him go all-out yet?

So Luka returns to the Liberty long enough to retrieve Sass, Duusu, and the diary before he realizes he has to leave. Adrien is Chat, and Adrien was the one who chose him as Viperion, so Chat knows who he is/where to find him, too. Juleka catches him before he leaves, and says, "...I was afraid it was you. On the TV. Luka, you have to stop this." "None of you stopped. I don't see why I should, either."

Luka goes into hiding. He remembers reading about Master Fu's old shop in the diary. Master Fu had left it to Marinette as a safe house, but as far as he knows Chat doesn't go there anymore (no reason to) and doesn't realize he knows about it. (Eventually, later on, Chat does go there and catches Luka - so Luka ends up hiding out at Dingo's home, bc the Kings are in Australia for the summer/it's empty.)

Aaaand that's all I have of the outline so far. 😂 The idea is Luka creates a hit list using the diary: Nadja, Tom and Sabine, Mayor Bourgeois, Alya, The Girl Squad (yes even Juleka and Rose), Lila, Chloé, Marinette's class in general, Mlle. Bustier, M. Damocles, Master Fu, Chat Noir/Adrien, and finally Luka himself. He confronts each person with a page torn from the diary, and he uses Marinette's own words to convince them of their guilt. With the exception of Tom and Sabine, the akuma is always in the diary page. Chatdrien is Luka's 'last' target, because as Ladybug's partner he blames him most - except the real 'last target' is actually Luka.

He plans his final akuma almost like a suicide mission, hoping that Chat will Cataclysm him/take him out when Shadowman kills him, so they're both defeated simultaneously. Except...

Things don't go as planned. Because Ladybug wasn't dead. The Guardians were able to heal her. And she was never supposed to see Luka this way.

[ashecampos]

THE HOODIE

Female Y/N, and the avengers are on a road trip, separate cars. In your car you have Kate driving, yelena passenger (pretend they are dating...I know Yelena is ace and I love her for that but pls pretend) and you are sat in between Wanda and Nat.

TW - mentions of anxiety and self harm later in the story I will put a warning don't worry, if you are going through this I'm here if you need to talk.

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Music blaring, windows open and nothing but road ahead...

Finally a break from the 'superhero' life, just what everyone needed.

"Okay so here's the deal we are gonna take separate cars" Steve said getting everyone's attention, not even a second after he made his speech my arm is yanked and with it my body, looking up at the source I see my best friend Kate grinning from ear to ear like a toddler. This cannot be a good idea, she shoves me into someone, looking up at them to apologise I see Wanda smiling at me "i- uh s-sorry" I stutter for an apology while trying to hide my embarrassment "don't worry about it" she says softly making my heart skip a beat, she must've noticed this as she looks away from me hiding a smile. Wtf was that? Pulling my thoughts aside and ignoring whoever's speaking to me I look to see who else is in our car. Yelena, obviously her and Kate are the most chaotic yet adorable couple in the tower. And lastly...Natasha. She's scarily hot and intimidating, and let me tell you that's my type.

"Cmon Y/N get in, im not getting in the middle seat" Nat snaps me out of my trance, I look around and through my mind wandering we have walked to the car and everyone except me and Nat have gotten in. I apologise and get into the middle seat, my hand brushes against Wanda's for a brief second.

Next thing I know we are on the road.

I glance at Nat, she has her arm out the window, she looks so badass.

Then I glance at Wanda who is reading a book, one leg up to her chest, book resting on her knee, she's infatuating, even when doing a simple thing such as reading.

Kate and Yelena are singing their hearts out, the way Yelena looks at Kate as she drives is so amazing, she really adores the girl.

Everyone seems so happy, I look down at my hands, not that you can see them. My hoodie pulled down to my knuckles to hide the bruises and cuts. Everyone else is wearing tank tops and shorts, here I am black skinny jeans and a oversized hoodie. I feel so stupid. Not as stupid as I would feel if everyone knew about the state of my arms and legs.

I realise my leg is bouncing.

Up

And down

Up

And down

I watch as my leg bounces quickly. I try my best to stop it as I feel like people would ask questions. I squeeze my eyes shut pleading with my brain to stop the anxiety 'stop shaking stop shaking please man' I beg in my head, of course It doesn't work. Apparently my brain hates me and doesn't hear me.

But something else did...or someone

I feel a hand slowly place itself onto my thigh. I look up and at it's owner. Wanda. She looks at me concerned before leaning over and whispering "your thoughts are loud wanna talk about it?" I sit there with my mouth agape, breathing heavy and hands shaking. Nat must've caught on because her hand firmly grips onto my hands, stopping them from shaking. I snap my head toward Nat giving her a look of confusion.

As Yelena and Kate are too interested in the music and each other's company. Nat and Wanda take the opportunity to comfort me.

Having the two people I've been crushing on for years next to me knowing that I am struggling makes me panic more, my heart beats faster and my body shakes more.

"So you like the beach?" Nat questions randomly..probably to take my mind off things. I nod slowly "uh y-yeah like surfing is cool" wtf was that Y/N what a idiotic comeback. Nat chuckles a bit at my response as I put my head down.

A small cold hand lifts my head up, Wanda makes me look at her as she smiles softly "let us help you, okay?" She nods waiting for a response, in return I slowly nod.

"hey Lena can we make a stop? it's getting too claustrophobic in here" Nat interrupts the girls singing session, yelena turns around and looks at me realising somethings up "sure, uh Kate there should be a gas station a mile or so down that way" yelena points to the right side of the road as Kate looks at her weirdly because of the use of her name instead of a nickname.

Kate radios to the team that we need to go for a bathroom break as we turn into the gas station. All the other cars follow.

Minutes later most of the avengers are either inside the gas station getting snacks and filling up their tanks. Nat is outside talking to Clint leaving me and Wanda alone in the car.

"You coming?" Wanda says now outside the car leaning into the car holding her hand out for me, I take it and get out, cool air hits my face and i sigh.

((TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ ))

— DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED —

"Hey y/n take your hoodie off you look like your gonna pass out" Banner states like I don't already know that. "Back off" I say back as I walk into the gas station with Wanda following me. "he was just trying to help, plus you do look like your overheating" Wanda grabs my arm spinning me around as pain shoots up my body starting from my wrist, i try my best to keep a straight face but she sees straight through me "bathroom now." she points to the restroom door, I walk into the cold room and she shuts the door behind us "can i get the girls?" She looks down at me while I nod tears threatening to fall down my face as she turns to leave "stay here..please" she then walks out of the room closing the door.

I walk backwards till my back hits the cold wall, I slide down the wall covering my face with my hands and silently screaming into my hands. Kate already knows because she walked in on me once and Yelena guessed it somehow but Nats non the wiser because she's never really paid attention to me.

Minutes later the door swings open and a pair of warm arms wrap around me, they are Kate's because she does this every time this happens. (wish my friends would lol..anyway) Wanda kneels down to be facing me, Nat is stood in the corner of the bathroom frozen in place staring at me, Yelena starts to panic "uh I'll get a first aid kit" she then drags Nat out of the room with her quickly. Tears stream down my face as Kate moves to sit cross legged next to me and Wanda does the same sitting in front of me now. "w-uh when did you uh" Kate does hand signals toward my arms while she tries to form words with the added intimidation of Wanda being there. "4am" is all I can make out with my head down.

Yelena and Nat rush back in with first aid kits and vodka "we sent the boys to get McDonald's, that's a good 10 miles away so we have time" Nat says with a calm and collected look. Yelena walks over dropping the first aid kit on the floor and pulling me into her arms alike to what Kate done recently "can we see?" She asks softly as she grabs my hand awaiting my response.

All I can do is not even though every cell in my body is telling me to say no and run away from this I nod.

Kate grabs my other hand squeezing it as Yelena gently pulls up the sleeves on my hoodie and traces her fingers over the angry red lines that litter my arm. She sighs while looking over them. Wanda grabs the first aid kit from the floor and grabs the vodka from Natasha's hand. She opens the vodka and holds it to my mouth "drink" she orders, I do as she says, i down some of it as it stings my throat a bit "okay keep still this is gonna hurt like a bitch" Kate chirps in as she grabs the vodka and pours a little bit on my cuts, I squirm about as Yelena and Wanda try to hold me in place. I bite down on my bruised lip hard as every nerve in my body is screaming.

i zone out after that going in and out of focus on what the others are doing, the next thing I focus on is my arms bandaged up and my hoodie on the floor leaving me in an old tank top Valkyrie gave me from Asgard before it was destroyed. Yelena smirks at this and hands me a deep blue flannel instead of my hoodie. I take it and put it on hiding my arms once more. Wanda helps me up and we walk out of the gas station, throwing everything in the trunk of the car just as the boys arrive, just as they stop Tony says "hey kid nice to see you in something other than a hoodie" he nods knowingly with a smile.

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

I've been rewatching all the Loki content to get ready for the new show and I have thought of A Phineas and Ferb AU™ for your viewing pleasure (and if anyone wants to turn any part of this into an actual fanfic I would owe you my life)

this post was brought to you in partnership with @dumbausfromdanville

You know how the first Thor movie ends with Loki yeeting himself off the Bifrost and falling to earth? What if, instead of going after the Tesseract, he falls straight to the Tri-State area?

Jane, Darcy, and Selvig all seemed to be on vacation, right? So Thor presumably took place during the summer — say, perhaps, ending on June 3? So he falls right onto Phineas and Ferb's rollercoaster just before it goes down that ♫ three-mile drop straight down ♪. He has no idea wtf is happening so it's not like he gets the chance to sit down and put on a seatbelt, so he's stuck holding on for dear life for the entire rollercoaster ride which Phineas and Ferb find weird but they're not really concerned bc they're chill lil dudes and tbh this isn't too far off a normal day for them.

Phineas and Loki strike up a none-too-pleasant conversation (not that Phineas notices Loki's bad mood; he's too Him to realize not everyone is rainbows and sunshine all day, every day), and our favorite lil disoriented demigod has to figure out where the fuck he is now ("You there. What realm is this?" "Danville 🙂" "Wut da fuk?") and what the fuck he's supposed to do now that he's here.

Phineas ends up inviting him to hang out for the afternoon, and Loki is about to turn him down but then he smells the pie. He's never had doonkleberry pie before so obviously he has to try it. Then, when Loki's no longer hangry, they can hold an actual conversation. It's lowkey more Loki wallowing in his own self-pity than anything else, but Ferb recognizes Asgard when Loki mentions it so he and Phineas piece together that he's a god pretty quickly.

More importantly, though, they figure out that he's completely alone, and because Loki never mentions trying to, you know, murder his brother and lowkey overthrow the monarchy, they just kinda assume Loki's family sucks (Ferb is completely prepared to start the anti-Thor club but Phineas stops him because he doesn't want his brother to get struck by lightning) and adopt him (without his consent, but it's not like he has anywhere else to be -- and he did like that pie).

Loki has no desire to build anything with the boys He thinks the idea of a backyard beach they make the next morning is stupid — even more stupid than a regular beach, and that's saying something. But over time, he gets more involved -- not just with the boys, but with the entire family. He helps the boys build their inventions. He talks about human history with Lawrence and corrects much of his knowledge on mythology. He lets Linda teach him how to bake seriously, her pies are so good. He even suffers through Candace's mall trips as long as he gets to go to that fro-yo place on the second floor (though he draws the line at any conversation involving romance).

He's still a little skeptical of the platypus (and he feels like the platypus is a little skeptical of him, too) but Phineas insists that he's "just a platypus" and he "doesn't do much." Loki doesn't realize that Perry's keeping an eye on him for OWCA, nor does he know that Monogram has absolutely no idea what to make of the dude so he hasn't actually told any of his superiors about him. As far as the government is concerned, after the fiasco in New Mexico, Loki just disappeared.

This makes it fucking hilarious when the boys accidentally steal the superheroes' powers in Mission: Marvel and the superheroes show up at the Flynn-Fletchers' front door only to see fucking Loki. Loki just shuts the door in their faces without a word because what the fuck?, but eventually Phineas and Ferb go check the door and they agree to help the heroes (much to Loki's chagrin), which, of course, isn't complete with Candace fangirling over them (also much to Loki's chagrin; she never fangirled over him). At first the Avengers are fully convinced that Loki is responsible for stealing their powers, and Loki never actually denies it because he's a little shit but Phineas, Ferb, and their friends are very insistent that Loki didn't do anything (except a little bit of manual labor putting together the satellites because they're 10 and he's a whole-ass demigod).

At some point, Thor and Loki have a very heated discussion about the events of Thor, and it's pretty much all news to the Flynn-Fletchers and their friends. They're not really sure what to make of it so they basically glue their mouths shut and watch it all play out. I'd like to think it goes something like it does in The Avengers and that a) Thor is pissed because what the fuck have you been up to Loki you fucking dumbass, b) Thor has been in mourning since Loki yeeted himself into the abyss and he wants to make sure the guy knows it, and c) Loki does not take it seriously at all he's being antagonistic the entire time because he is so sick of Mr. High-And-Mighty's shit. In the end, Loki storms out of the SHEDquarters and Phineas doesn't even think to try to stop him until he's halfway out the door and it's too late.

He shows up again when Phineas, Ferb, and the Avengers try to fight the bad guys in the mall with the wrong powers and he basically singlehandedly saves their asses until superhero Perry shows up. As everyone's favorite shapeshifter, he has absolutely no problem figuring out that this beaver duck dude is the Flynn-Fletchers' platypus. He has no idea what to do with that information, but it sure is information that he now has apparently. (At this point, poor Loki has a very warped sense of what earth is supposed to be like lmao).

Phineas tries to get Loki to come back with them after superhero Perry grabs them and carries them home. Instead, Loki cuts himself loose and falls like 30 feet straight down (and tbh after falling from the Bifrost, that's nothing to him) and peaces the fuck out.

Loki ends up accidentally bonding with Candace and Isabella over feeling useless and unwanted (and he absolutely gets his own verse in Only Trying to Help because it's what he deserves), but unlike the two girls who are hell-bent on changing that, Loki is content wallowing in his own self-pity. He's tried this whole "being important" thing before and he ended up in self-exile for it. He's not putting himself through it again because he really doesn't expect it to end well. But then the powerless heroes decide to face the villains again, and with Candace and Isabella in space and Perry nowhere to be seen, he realizes it is once again up to him to keep the tri-state area safe (which he knows is a stupid priority but he's gotten kind of attached to these stupid little humans and he wants to keep them safe).

Then the heroes get their powers back and they join Loki (and Perry and the mysterious waffle gun in the sky) and beat the shit out of the villains. Thor and Loki work together in the heat of the battle which serves as a Great Bonding Moment™, and once the villains are gone, they have a nice lil heart-to-heart where they both apologize for their past. Thor remarks that Loki seems to have grown a lot over the last couple of months and tries to bring Loki home with him, but Loki refuses. He'll never be welcome back into Asgard, no matter what Thor may say.

But he is welcome with the Flynn-Fletchers, who are completely over the fact that he tried to ruin Thor's life and take his not-so-rightful place on the throne (except Candace who's very skeptical about having him back but it's not like Linda will believe her if she tries to tell her what Thor and Loki talked about so her opinion is unfortunately as irrelevant as it usually is on the show).

And early the next morning, before anyone else is awake, Perry gets an alert that he's needed in his headquarters (presumably to talk to or about Fury). He quietly sneaks off, only to find Loki waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him. They have a very nice "conversation" (not that Perry speaks) about the superhero Ducky Momo they saw the day before, and Loki assures him that his secret is safe, thus starting a much-needed bromance between Loki and Perry because it's what my babies, goddammit!

Anyways yeah if anyone wants to write a fanfic about Loki hanging out with Phineas and Ferb during his self-exile I would give you a socially distant high-five because I want to read it but I have too many other fanfics on my plate to start this one for at least a few months. It doesn't have to follow this prompt literally at all (I swear I wasn't trying to get this in-depth with it but this is what I do apparently) or it can follow this prompt exactly idc i just want a PnF/Loki fanfic 🥺

[maanae]

Okay rant post.

I just finished watching Justice League Dark: Apokolips War and.. it's just... It's like watching a train wreck happen and can't do anything about it.

Man do I have thoughts on WHY THAT WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE SUPERMAN. Seriously, superheroes are NOT strategits and it shows. Who tf let's Superman take commands for an invasion when you literally have an Amazon who is expert in war arts/arts of war or whatever english-speakers call it + a Batman who is like The Strategist of the heroes (the best of the ones I saw at least) + Arthur and Mera who are literally KING AND QUEEN and so can LEAD AN INVASION + or even, I don't know, maybe THE LANTERN CORP who is quite specifically AN ARMY. arg. (Okay, I know the Lantern Corp are a liiiittle more complex than that and I don't know enough to say they'd help but come on! They didn't even asked!)

On the plus side, Lois was hella badass and I love Harley. Also grown-up Damian is such a joy. So much sarcasm and anger but like not in a destructive way! And so soft with Raven! Loved it. And Constantine! I love that man, he's so... Idk blasé? How do you say it in English? Whatever, he is and I love a good morally gray character with this amount of 'i'm done' vibes. (I'd like to see more of Zatanna too but can't have all at once I supposed)

(there was a lot more on the 'plus side' but I'm so mad at their initial strategy! And at Superman particularly. I swear Damian was the only sane guy in this thing. And Constantine. Clark deserved to be punch.)

Crossover time

It did give me ideas! Like lmao just imagine the face of Ladybug with this plan? She'd be so mad (I'm 100% projecting sorrynotsorry). Chloe would totally tell them to go buy brains or whatever because that's a ridiculous plan. Chat would be so disappointed in them! Even he could see it's not a good idea and he's very much not a strategist! And Carapace would be like 'woah calm down, good idea, bad execution' when Superman would throw his tantrum (seriously, Constantine and Flash tried to tell them and Superman was violent!? Wtf man? Don't call them for a suicide mission if you're not ready to be turn down?? It's their lives???)

And admitting the Miraculous Court was not in the plan (maybe because not in the Justice League ? Meh, can be with the JL incredible poor decisions.) can you imagine them, like, saving the day? okay not literally because a whole planet is a lot, even for aged-up characters (I don't work with teenagers characters except exceptions and that's not one of those sorry), BUT saving some cities? Building safe places with miraculous magic? Preserving a little of balance in this train wreck? Bringing a little more sense in the final battle? (Not a fan of using Triggon here, that's an easy and somewhat cheap move, or bad executed idk, but I can understand it. With the Miraculous? That'd be a lot different.) (Also not a fan of the whole 'love bring back dead' but heh, it saved Damian so I can accept it.) Also it could bring more miraculi from other boxes and I'm always weak for that.

Also. Bunnyx could just pop and say 'no. Trap. Won't work' and save the day. But it's too easy I suppose 🙄

... that was a long rant (for me at least, I'm on this since half and hour and I need to eat) but it feels good.

(I'm still so mad at Superman. And all of them for just having said yes because of a punch in the furniture and a emotional monologue. wtf guys.)

[literaphobe]

season one of she-ra rated by catradora content

the sword part 1: right off the bat we find out just what adora’s all about. she’s a so called goody two shoes but she’ll lie to authority to protect catra.... ok lesbian lmao. but then we meet catra and she’s like “hey adora ;) how’s it hanging?” and we get it. we completely get it. oh my god. everything from the way catra talks to the way she laughs. adora never stood a chance :( we get a classic locker room flirting scene where catra teases adora and adora pretends she’s above all that only to be like hey cat gf is that a MOUSE which is very rude :( don’t scare ur cat gf or she will become evil :( oh wait. anyway.... their flirting gets cut short because homophobia walks in and separates them :/ before that tho she praises adora. adora who loves her gf so much ignores shadow weaver’s praise and says “catra did so good tho <3” and puts her arm around catra which pisses off the only homophobe in etheria. adora doesn’t really want to follow shadow weaver because she just wants to be with catra, and she even argues with shadow weaver about bringing catra onto the field with her. but she loses the argument because shadow weaver fucking sucks and has no idea how to be chill :/ catra finds adora after that and greets adora the way all gals greet their pals. by... pouncing on her waist. ok lol. catra is so proud of her gf getting promoted and says baby i love you <3 baby when are we leaving <3 except adora says catra’s not allowed to come :( so cat gf gets sad and runs to the roof. in response, adora gets a literal Grappling Hook to chase after her. adora doesn’t want her gf to be sad so she steals a skiff and they go on a date <3 but they’re so obsessed with control and play fighting with each other that adora falls off the skiff and finds out she’s like. god with a sword. i mean she-ra. uh, so adora fake wakes up in a dream and is like catra? :( because catra is the only thing she ever looks for when she wakes up (yes i am clowning. of course i know catra was the only person she was with but shhhh), and then she wakes up for real and catra is straddling her waist, which... ok. catra worries about her gf maybe being brain damaged so they cut their date short and go back to the fright zone. they go to sleep, and have their nightly sleepover, which means they sleep in the same bed :) even tho catra’s own bed is already on top of adora’s :) superb :) anyway adora dreams about her lesbian sword and wakes up scared. she smiles when she sees catra sleeping soundly in her bed however because uwu cat gf go zzzzz. adora gets out of bed which catra IMMEDIATELY senses because she opens her eyes right after and follows adora. because uh.... their friendship is just that lit and strong. catra is worried and wants to follow her gf to find this cool lesbian sword she keeps talking about, but adora makes perhaps one of the worst calls ever and tells catra to stay behind because she doesn’t want to get catra in trouble :( which is like, she has good intentions and all, but you should always bring your gymnast cat gf along when u look for sick ass gay swords. adora would know that if she wasn’t raised by the literal embodiment of gay oppression. oh well. guess they’re gonna have to fight each other for five seasons to figure it out. 9.5/10 because we got so much content all literally in the first ep. it’s like hey look they’re in love and they’re girlfriends who touch each other way too much. and we’re like noelle that’s really cool! will we get more gf content? and noelle said yes but also you’ve got a big storm coming! and it’s going to kill you!

the sword part 2: against adora’s wishes, catra gets in trouble for adora’s departure, and this makes catra sad bc where did her gf go? :( shadow weaver accuses catra of knowing where adora is because despite her raging homophobia she still knows that adora wouldn’t go anywhere without telling catra. and she’s right but just because she’s right doesn’t mean i have to like her. anyway... catra gets sent to bring adora back to the fright zone, and even tho shadow weaver threatens her in scary horrid ways catra is only happy to see adora again and once again pins her to the ground with her knees on adora’s.... yea........ and she’s happy bc she has a tank :) good for u catra we all love and cherish you <3333 anyway catra makes fun of adora because she thought adora got captured which... technically true but also not but also! catra sees a flower in adora’s hair which she takes to mean that adora cheated on her :( wtf :( and adora says no baby :( no i didn’t cheat on u :( and catra is like. ok fine. let’s go back to the horde. and adora says baby we can’t go back to the horde :( did u know that they were evil? im woke now. come be woke with me. and catra is like. wait. u just realized the horde sucks? did you not see shadow weaver electrocute me. did you think she did that for gay rights? and adora is like catra baby i didn’t mean it like that :( but it’s too late. it’s all very upsetting and i don’t wanna get into it. essentially catra thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse by fighting the horde from within but adora thinks she can escape shadow weaver’s abuse and the horde’s evil by literally escaping the horde. u can see where both of them are coming from and that’s why it’s so sad :( it’s so fucking sad y’all :( they do their whole. come with me vs stay with me thing,,, and it doesn’t work out. duh it’s like ep 2 why would it work out. catra finds out that adora can use her lesbian sword to turn into a taller lesbian and instead of giving into her gayness and marrying adora right away her internalized homophobia makes her run away :( she thought adora doesn’t care about her anymore because she has new friends and can turn into a giant sword lady :( and it’s all very sad :( 8.5/10

razz: adora’s having trouble turning into she-ra. no one asked, but based on this whole show, it’s because she just broke up with catra and that hit hard :( it’s pretty hard to turn into ur superhero alter ego when you’re yearning. back at the horde, catra is also yearning. she is bitter because everyone is raving about how lit she-ra is and catra is like yeah she-ra is sexy but can we have a discussion about how she-ra breaks your heart. how she-ra makes you cry. how she-ra abandons you for new friends and doesn’t want to be your gf anymore? have we considered that? and everyone is confused because why does catra seem like she knows she-ra so well. didn’t you just meet her catra? and even tho catra is a bitter ex who’s angry and wants revenge she’s still like. in love with adora and wants to protect her. so she acts cool and doesn’t tell anyone that adora is she-ra. even tho lonnie tells catra not to be so feral because “adora’s not here to protect you anymore” catra still wants to protect adora. okay. yes the thought of that does make me wanna cry. what about it. catra goes and lies on their shared adora’s bed. and she sees the teeny drawing of catra and adora on the bed frame. it reminds catra of the break up and she scratches adora’s picture. she regrets it like instantly and starts destroying the bed. and she cries. she like cries real tears what the FUCK. and then SHADOW WEAVER WALKS IN?? rude much?? can’t a girl get some privacy as she mourns a break up with a girl she’s been in love with her whole life but technically never dated for real? 9/10

flowers for she-ra: adora realizes that it’s a pretty bad idea to break up with your girlfriend when you spent your whole life sleeping in the same room/same bed as her and she comes to the Very Shocking realization that she gasp! cannot sleep without catra! wow who would have thought! so she immediately goes on a search for a sleeping partner rebound... who is glimmer (sorry glimmer it’s her first time not having her gf) and she even sleeps at glimmer’s feet the way we saw catra sleep at adora’s feet. really makes you wonder if catra and adora take turns doing that? sleeping at each other’s feet because their internalized homophobia (thanks a lot shadow bitch) prevented them from going a step further and sleeping in each other’s arms... oh well. meanwhile, catra is gloating about being force captain, but she’s also Still protecting adora’s identity as she-ra. and apparently, drawing pictures of she-ra? that she hid from shadow weaver? is that what happened? i can’t tell if she drew that picture or not but the way it looks from the scene she Definitely drew that picture! hello????? anyway, catra’s still crying to anyone that has ears about how her gf dumped her, when really it was kind of a mutual break up that was entirely shadow weaver’s fault even tho she wasn’t there. sigh. i’m bringing this up to a 7/10 because of “it’s just a phase! she’s confused, i’ll bring her back, i swear :(“

the sea gate: “i’ve got something more important to do” and here we see the start of catra literally abandoning all other duties because she would rather go flirt with her enemy gf... she literally hopped onto she-ra’s sword.... she insult her gf....... she brag to her gf about achievement.... but she also want her gf back :( adora refuses to go back to the land of oppression tho so they get into a. really suggestive fight. and catra always makes adora leaving the horde out to be adora leaving her.... she’s like babe i am literally so sexy. why would you dump me :( i’m hot :( and she’s right but i hate them. can y’all just like. not be so gay? :/ it’s starting to make me a lil bit homophobic tbh! and catra whispers into adora’s ear but it’s kind of like an insult so she gets water slapped and is forced to stop flirting :( boooo 8.5/10

system failure: hm. catra wasn’t in this ep? damn :( it’s a great ep but it’s pretty hard to find any catradora if adora is delirious the whole time and catra isn’t there. but! drunk/high adora existing gives us an idea of what she would be like around catra. 1/10 for the potential

in the shadows of mystacor: catra’s face when she sees adora in shadow weaver’s spy cam thing... interesting. she also acts like she’s So Sick of the adora missions which is true but also she is lying. kind of annoying that shadow weaver would be like. homophobic. but when she’s messing with adora’s head in mystacor she uses catra’s voice and laugh to achieve maximum effect :/ which like. thanks? but catra wasn’t actually there so shadow weaver really full on gaybaited adora huh :/ adora eventually defeats shadow weaver and we finally see catra again uwu she ends up plotting to kidnap bow and glimmer but the line “if you want to take down adora, you have to go for the heart” is so interesting because we eventually find out just how much of adora’s heart is filled with catra... 4/10 on its own 6/10 if you let the heart comment ruin your life!

princess prom: ARE Y’ALL READY TO PARTY oh my god,,, this is it you guys. this is THE ep. so funny of adora to be like. i have so many plans for every single thing that might happen. i am GOING to spend the party getting princess frosta to join the rebellion. and then catra shows up and adora is like nvm. what if i followed catra wherever she went instead. which is very interesting! adora, sweet baby, why do you always assign yourself to fight/follow/chase catra? when according to her in future eps is actually a bad decision which we can infer from her saying stuff like catra knows my every move she will be able to take me down,, ok then stop hogging her all the time?? anyway. let’s get into things chronologically. “how dare those princesses pretend they’re better than you? just because you’re different? how dare they abandon people just because they don’t fit in with their perfect little lives? how DARE they take best friends and turn them into giant sword ladies who run off with people clearly inferior to you?!” catra.... u got sth to say there buddy? :/ u got something u wanna get off your chest? :/ u had us in the beginning but then you started to get really specific :/ what’s that about sweetie :/ catra’s coping mechanism for this is to put on a really hot suit and going to princess prom to seduce the shit outta adora? fucking genius. yes she also kidnapped two people but let’s focus on the ingenuity of catra’s plan to make adora hot and heavy and also somehow jealous the entire time. incredible. so, catra shows up at the prom with scorpia and adora immediately starts bickering with her about rules. she fails to get catra kicked out so she resolves to stalk her instead! and catra... oh catra... she puts on a whole show..... performing everything from popping a tiny cake into her mouth to circling around a pillar seductively and dropping a note into a bin that says hi adora >:3 with a drawing of catra’s face that she worked hard on!! and adora looks like a crazy stalker ex gf and everyone is like damn.... u ok? :/ but adora doesn’t have time to care too much aside from a little “haha i swear i’m not a weirdo!” look because her mind is just screaming CATRA CATRA CATRA and she finds catra creeping up to entrapta. but ofc catra’s not trying to push entrapta off the ledge! no! she’s using entrapta to make adora jealous :3 catra pulls entrapta close and says “she stole my food and then asked me to spy on people with her. is this what love feels like?” and it WORKS and adora has to pull entrapta aside and be all hey i know we’re not super close yet but the bro code kinda states that u don’t date ur friend’s ex :/ so could you please back off? and entrapta is like say what now? ur gf just ditched btw so adora goes running after catra again and surprise surprise! it’s time to dance! and there are romantic lights and music! and uh oh! everyone else has a partner except for catra! guess this means adora’s gotta dance with her ohhhhh noooooooo :/ “i don’t know about you.... but i am having a blast” i really don’t think catra was lying!! i am on the verge of passing out!! adora moving away from catra after saying “whatever it is you’re planning, it won’t work!” and catra, many dance partners later, slamming back into adora’s body to continue their conversation with “maybe my plan won’t work, but then again...” THE DIP!!!!!!! “maybe it already has...” oh my god you guys. what the fuck. like they get into an angry shove fight after this but the tension! the tension! and then adora LIFTS catra up in the air? real close? they get ice blocked by frosta after this, more specifically she traps adora because she shoved catra first djfjdjdjdjd,,, after telling glimmer to find bow catra grazes adora’s chin with her tail to remind her that she’s still here!! don’t neglect!! and catra says the iconic “it was fun distracting you though ;)” line that adora was clearly affected by because she memorizes it and says it back to catra..... years later. i CANNOT make any of this shit up. what the fuck y’all. the fact that these evaluations are so long bother me but i HAVE to call these hoes out!! moving on, adora runs after catra in a very dramatic chase/fight scene, and adora is very amped up on uh, hormones. she catches catra at a “dead end” and goes “hah! trapped >:)” which is such a stupid thing to say to ur cat gf who can jump very high, so catra says “you wish ;)” and it is just. everything they are saying sounds very suggestive okay why are they LIKE THIS anyway catra jumps up some floating ice and adora follows her up the floating ice because she’s gay and she will jump however much is required of her to chase her gf down ok!! and so adora and catra are now on some ice cliff where adora keeps lunging and they’re also kind of like dancing? and catra is being very ~smooth~ dodging all of adora’s strikes and hitting her in one move. that’s kind of cool but also don’t bully your gf :( come on catra :( not cool :( but adora doesn’t give up and they continue fighting, until one missed move from catra nearly sends her off the cliff. but adora thinks she’s hot and she’s in love with her so she’s like nooo catra don’t fall off this cliff ur so sexy aha and catches her by. the waist. not the hand! but by the waist. any normal person would’ve gone for the hand. factually speaking, catra’s hand is easier to reach than her waist. but adora’s a hoe. so, she grabs catra by the waist and pulls her in closer by grabbing! oh you guessed it! her chest! like she grabs her shirt but it’s the part of the shirt that was at the chest. what the fuck. they both get this look in their eye that makes it seem like they want to kiss each other???? hello????????? and like. very upsettingly we now know that they’ve always wanted to kiss each other so. that knowledge makes watching this scene even worse. they shouldn’t have become enemies if they were going to be this horny. they’re so distracted by each other’s lips that they forget they’re standing at the edge of a cliff and guess what! they fall off the cliff! what a twist! but adora is like i’m NOT going to die because i was distracted by catra’s lips, so she grabs her hair stick thing and stabs it into the ice cliff. she grabs catra by the hand to save her, not the waist this time, because holding catra’s hand is also gay so she might as well do it. too bad catra lets go of her hand and ditches her tho :( i would minus points for that except it wouldn’t make much of a difference. catra says “see you later, princess ;)” because she’s already expecting to see adora again.... good lord 4828473737373/10 thanks noelle! i died

no princess left behind: but i’m a buddhist so i’m back. we open with catra laughing so prettily looking at her gf’s lesbian sword. very cute. later on, when shadow weaver betrays catra and tells her to go pack her things because she’s not needed anymore... adora gives her this look? :( she looks like she feels bad because catra’s clearly still suffering under shadow weaver’s thumb. but let’s zero in on the most important part! catra dragging the sword and pointing it at adora, before turning it around and giving it to her. “this is NOT because i like you” ok catra i didn’t think that before but now i Absolutely believe that you did this because you like adora. and u can tell adora kind of is like. ready to start her whole “you can come with me! we can be together! :(“ thing but things are complicated and catra told her to Just Go so... it is a lot and we know things are deeper than just catra liking adora but we will get emo over that later. 9/10 that was a good fucking scene

the beacon: “she left me behind too, like i was nothing :(“ some people say this is catra manipulating entrapta, and they are correct, but also she’s like.. “oh adora left you too? mad kin :(“ she was deadass about to start a support group with entrapta and technically she kind of did! good for them <3 catra goes to look for first ones tech and adora goes to look for the beacon to learn how to heal and guess what happens! they’re looking for the same place! catra’s “on second thought... hey adora >;)” at the end pushes this up to an 8/10, but that’s just like the last five seconds of the ep so objectively the rest of the ep was like. 4/10 idk lmaoooo

promise: finally some good fucking food. catra follows adora into the beacon and has a little fun spying on her and enjoying her epic fails at getting information on she-ra. she also finds the first one tech she needs, because she’s a multitasker and she can spy on her gf while doing important missions <3 but also she gets caught and adora nearly kills her fksjdjd “hey watch it! >:(“ is so funny because catra??? u are trespassing???? but also uwu baby yeah don’t accidentally kill ur gf adora :( adora’s reaction is also very funny “catra? what are you doing here? :O” as if catra hasn’t shown up at 70% of the places adora has been, but the way she asks it’s like. adora is happy to see catra? pleasantly surprised? man she is whipped. anyway, adora tries to pull the Tough Girlfriend move and like, mildly scold catra for trespassing into a building where only one person (she-ra) is allowed to be in. but she still grabs catra’s hand and guides her to an escape path :’) she lifts up a giant door thing and waits until catra runs in to let go and run after her <3 chivalry isn’t dead after all <3 they get into a lover’s tiff as they run for their lives and essentially it’s like “babe wtf WHY are giant mutant spiders trying to kill us isn’t this ur house” “they’re trying to kill YOU this is why you ring the doorbell instead of running in secretly after i open the door!” “oh and how was i supposed to know that! why can’t you just tell your teenage mutant ninja spiders to chill out??” “they’re not house-trained babe :( i moved in two minutes ago they came with the apartment” anyway the angry spider monsters catch up to them so catra goes “adora? :(“ and that’s enough for adora to take Direct Action so she slashes the walls and ceiling of the room they’re in before grabbing catra to shield them both. she is NOT getting her deposit back but uwu anything to keep gf safe <3 adora transforms back to her usual body and she once again reminds catra that she’s Not Supposed To Be Here and she’s like “god now i have to like Protect You and it’s gonna put my life in danger :/ haha what are you gonna do for me in return tho ;)” and catra is like. “well good thing i didn’t ASK you to protect me” so adora is like :( —> >:( wait u know what??? ok u know what????? why are u here >:( how’d u find me?? >:( and do u mean any of this in a gay way?? >:( say it’s in a gay way right now >:( and catra is like. ur gay castle sent a gay beam of light into the sky. i saw it immediately bc im gay but i do NOT mean this in a gay way. and adora is like oh :( ok :’( and then asks about shadow weaver bc she saw what went down in the horde and she like. i think she can tell shadow weaver still exerts some form of control that catra hasn’t broken free from? :( and then catra is like haha shadow weaver is a LOSER and adora starts giving her Gay Looks and it makes catra scared because her gf now thinks she has a crush on her!!!!!!! how Embarrassing!! “ugh, i knew you’d be weird about me letting you escape” ok so why did you say that thing about not liking her? “i told you it’s not because i like you!” there it is! that’s EXACTLY what i thought you’d say you lesbian! and the way she says it??? she definitely likes adora???? she is so bad at lying?????? and adora is so smug about it like her Face plus her crossed arms and the whole “i mean, i didn’t ;) i didn’t say anything ;)” her eyes.... your honor she’s gay...... she’s like what if we were in my secret castle..... standing amongst the rubble because i destroyed the infrastructure to protect you..... and we were both girls....... adora was Ready to turn her sword into a Bed right then and there ok!!! it’s not me it’s Her Eyes,,, anyway catra starts being salty again and brings up bow and glimmer and is like hey where’s those idiots u dumped me for :/ thought you looooooved hanging out with them and doing everything with them :/ like we used to :/ are they not as fun to hang out with adora is that why you’re standing in this spider infested building with me instead :/ and adora suddenly remembers that she can’t just be horny and that she has to hold catra accountable for her actions so she’s like oh my friends? the ones who u kidnapped and held for ransom???? >:( and catra is like ya what other friends would i be talking about :/ like god i know she’s evil but she’s so funny take her back adora :( jk ik ur gonna start begging her to Come With You in like minutes u absolute simp. but before that happened catra was like fuck u lets Split Up >:( we already broke up why would we run away from spiders together huh? unless u still like me? but clearly there’s only one way for them to walk so they can’t split up just yet and adora gives catra this >:( look so catra is like FINE one last date and they walk away together. they go into this... dark room and catra wants to leave the dark room because she’s scared of ghosts :( jk but the door disappears and something scans catra and adora and light hope is like cool! time to show them memories that are specifically picked to make catra resent adora! which :( not cool light hope :( i get that ur a bot who’s programmed to serve the homophobic agenda but damn u were gay once too :( anyway they’re sent to a memory in the fright zone and adora gets Angry bc she thinks catra tricked her and catra is like i wouldn’t play u like that :( and she finds out it’s all fake so she’s like adora :D u don’t have to be scared or mad at me anymore! :D she goes to look for adora but adora’s watching a memory of them when they were six and being really cute. back when adora had the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and only really cared about making catra happy and having her back. catra blinded octavia and insulted her and adora was still like: ur not bleeding ur bones aren’t broken and u picked a pointless fight with someone who did not provoke you in any way. where is she i will insult her some more. i love u. like damn adora really do be a ride or die girl huh!! she’s still like this but they both have too many issues to realize it :( anyway catra and adora slip into the catra and adora of their memories and begin running off together holding hands............ and then they Realize they’re running off together Holding Hands....... and catra pulls away because of her internalized homophobia :( devastating. they get into a tiny little fight over magic and kidnapping again and then adora’s face softens and she’s like catra :( why Did you let me escape :( i know i made fun of u for it before but i legit do not know if u meant it in a gay way. pls confirm? :( u could have gotten caught catra :( why did u risk it :( is it because you secretly want to run away with me and join the rebellion? :( and be my gf? :( she’s so caught up in her questions that she nearly falls off a cliff AGAIN and catra catches her by the hand because these girls are obsessed with almost falling off cliffs to their deaths and saving each other. don’t judge them their Intricate Rituals are THAT deep. and catra is like. did you really think. i would let shadow weaver erase your memory like that? and risk you forgetting our relationship? even towards the end when we were broken up and fighting each other it was kinda lit and i want u to remember it. and adora is an idiot so she’s like idk lmao probably aren’t u like evil now and catra is like well you have a point but also fuck u for thinking i don’t care about u,,, u never did have too much faith in me :( and adora is like can u blame me :( and catra is like ur hot so.... no. i will let my tail linger on your hand as a hint that i still love you. and then catra is like.... adora i know u said fuck horde rights but does that include our relationship :( u had good memories right :( of me? :( and adora is like um duh??? i miss you so goddamn much too oh my god and catra is like hey how dare you imply that i missed you even tho it’s true!!! get over urself! and adora is like not until you admit you like me ;) and they play fight again because the rituals are so intricate..... and catra lies and says she doesn’t like adora ok lmao... they enter the next memory and it’s catra and adora sparring and they’re competitive but it’s also flirty? catra pretends to be hurt to get adora to let her guard down but lonnie interferes and this causes adora to beat catra. which. yeah :( and after adora wins she does the good gf thing where she asks catra if she’s okay and catra’s not ok but she lies and hides away to cry :( and we get it babe we do!! it’s hard being in love with someone who you’re also resentful of because you’re raised in a competitive environment and always treated like you’re worthless in comparison :( but the simulation stops and catra is caught by one of the spiders and adora doesn’t manage to save her in time, grabbing her hand only to fail and have catra slip through her fingers :( they scream for each other but catra manages to get the upper hand on the spider monster, except adora charges in at the last second and delivers the final blow, further driving home the false point that light hope is trying to make :( adora just wants to protect catra but because of their upbringing catra sees it as adora always wanting to be the best and adora thinking she’s better than catra hence her telling catra what to do “all the time” which isn’t totally true but it’s what catra has been led to believe :( and also adora’s upbringing plays into it too because she thinks she has to save everyone and take responsibility for everything and it’s all just really sad bros :( what the fuck :( adora apologizes for leaving again and tries to convince catra she never meant to leave her and that she wants catra to come with her because she knows catra isn’t a bad person :( and you can see!! catra considering it!! but then precisely BECAUSE catra is considering it the memory simulation thing kicks in again and... hoo boy. we see catra and adora sneak into the black garnet chamber, after being cute and competitive and running around the horde swinging from wire to wire.... they get caught by shadow weaver and she specifically punishes only catra. and it’s so fucked because it puts adora in this position of guilt where she always feels like she has to protect adora whilst slowly brainwashing her over the years into believing that catra does do disobedient things and that adora can only escape that if she’s always perfect and taking charge of everything. and for catra.... it takes the mutually loving relationship they have and poisons it because shadow weaver makes it very clear that to her, catra’s only redeeming quality is that adora favors her? and if not for that she would be disposed of? and so it’s very hard for catra to find individuality and a healthy connection to adora which created unresolved resentment and issues and just... :( and the whole confrontation they have after the simulation ends... adora could never protect catra in the way she needed to be protected because adora was also a child, and receiving a different form of abuse, and it’s just. harder for catra to leave? especially because she didn’t receive a sudden destiny the way adora did and her issues with the horde were never limited to morality. and so catra is just. she has way too much to work through and she can’t see past her resentment for adora because the machine is making her remember all of it. and so she tells a half truth and half lie to adora about giving her the sword because she didn’t want adora to come back :( catra runs away from adora and is attacked by flashes of memory. and then she faces one last memory alone. and it’s the promise adora made to catra when they were kids, about always looking out for each other, and catra looks at kid!catra and thinks adora has broken that promise, still stinging from the hurt of adora leaving her behind after finding the sword and becoming she-ra. it was never meant to be like this but catra is hurting so she focuses only on her side of things and how she saw these events play out and she :( decides to kind of betray adora? it hurts So Much because adora looks so hopeful when she sees catra while hanging on for dear life, and she thinks catra will save her again but catra talks about how the sword won’t work for her because she’s never been the Special One like adora was always heralded to be in the horde. and having adora literally be she-ra just drives that point home for catra and she hates adora for it because this means all the other stuff she believes is true too. adora made her feel weak on purpose, adora made catra think she needed her on purpose. “every hero needs a sidekick, right?” and adora’s “catra, no, that’s not how it was!” hits even harder now because we know that adora just. loved catra. she was in love with her but adora was also like catra in that she’s a product of her circumstances and upbringing. she was the way she is as a means of survival. but the one thing there that was pure and true was that they loved each other.... upsettingly neither of them can see that. catra goes down even further into the path of evil and thinks that. being free of adora. is the thing that will liberate her and bring her happiness. which. she is wrong about. but she can’t exactly see all that clearly right now :( and adora begging catra not to “do this” which... means she’s begging her not to leave? “bye adora! i really am going to miss you” and adora’s desperation skyrockets but it’s too late :( catra doesn’t come back for her and adora cries.... and it’s just so insane that literally everyone who wants to control adora focuses on poisoning her bond with catra because that’s the relationship that... matters most to her in the world. when you’ve loved someone your whole life it hurts when they betray you and it hurts to betray them too, as we can see from catra when she arrives back at the horde. she essentially looks Wrecked and freezes up when scorpia calls her “the best friend ever!” but i want to make one quick note of her “personal space” talk with scorpia? like fjdjdjdjd you have never had personal space with adora not once in your life ok that’s reserved for the gf only i see. 10/10 i am so wrecked emotionally this is way too much but also because it makes me so emo i will give it a perfect score but nothing else. no bonus points because i do not want to reward putting me in pain!

light hope: light hope showing adora the memories that make her feel guilty and it’s the first scene where catra sees her as she-ra and walks away.... adora’s been feeling guilty over catra since the moment she failed at getting catra to leave the horde :( 3/10

the battle of bright moon: “catra will be leading the horde when they attack. i have to face her.” it’s so interesting how there’s so many pressing things at hand? the weather is screwy, the alliance is broken, no one’s coming to save them, the rebellion could be crushed, but the thing that is really bothering adora, the thing that she brings up first, is catra. “i saw catra in there. i thought i could get through to her, but all i did was push her farther to the side of evil” she sounds... so heartbroken about it all :( catra and adora meet on the battlefield and the first thing catra says is,,, u guessed it,,,, “hey adora.” and adora’s like “catra. surprised to see me?” and like damn they’re really so good at being enemies. the talent. the tension. impeccable. and then catra says nah i didn’t think u died and im glad u made it out alive. and adora, bless her soul, is like oh.... u mean in a gay way..... u didn’t want me to die..... for homosexual reasons?? and catra is like no! haha! i uh, i just wanted to kill u in a cooler much sexier way. and adora is like oh :( oh >:( oh >:’( and they get into a very heated sexy fight like catra wanted. and they taunt each other like. “i thOUgHt yOU weRe suPposED tO bE stRoNG” “aND i tHouGHt yOu wERe sUpPOsEd tO bE fAst” you know. very cool well crafted taunts. and like. they fight a lot which is kind of sad but also kind of sexy because their styles are like? similar and different? which is the dumbest way to compare any two things ever but like :( y’all get what i mean right :( we get one more Hanging Off A Cliff scene and this time adora grabs catra by the chest and shoves her against the wall, and catra is like cool! but u did this,, for what? and then adora realizes catra was just distracting her Again and bright moon is very badly under attack :( catra bids her adieu so adora can run back and fight. but she like. gets caught :( and catra walks up to her and gently caresses her cheek before adora passes out and it’s evil but it’s also tender? but it’s also evil i know i know :( all of the princesses come to help adora so she sends a beam of magic gay light and heals everything and then all the princesses send a gay tsunami washing over catra. the horde loses, and catra retreats in a skiff, but adora and catra exchange one more Look as she leaves... hm. 9/10

[bagofbonesmp3]

look, to begin with i wasnt particulary liking how zdarsky was writing elektra (he is suffering from dd-writer-writing-elektra syndrome) but this issue was so fucking weird and out of character???

first, the whole prupose of this arc seems to be elektra’s way to redemption and heroism. which would be interesting except. except this is what elektra vol. 1 and elektra vol. 2 were about. it was literally all about that. about how she tried being a hero and leave her past behind, to work with matthew, to save lives. and we saw how that turned out. she was simply not fit for that life. not to be an elektra snob but if zdarsky read the literal first 3 pages of vol. 3 #1 he would know:

elektra is not a hero. she can’t be matt. its one of the reasons they had to break apart. because matt was something elektra wasn’t, despite them loving each other, despite them understanding each other in some ways, they had different outlooks on how the world worked. so this whole “i try to become the new daredevil to be a symbol” is, uh VERY out of character. if they had framed this as her caring about matt and wanting to help him uphold peace in his home (which she would have done even if she disapporved of it. because she knows how important this is for him.) she’s not a hero or a villain, that’s been established. and EVEN if she decided to uphold peace. she wouldnt have taken the mantle as daredevil. this just feels so derivative. plus there are SO many other superheros who would be ok with holding the dd mantle while he’s gone (sam, for example. shit, i would even buy it if maya was doing it. she’s done it before) but for elektra this feels so.... forced?

secondly, elektra’s personality feels off for me too. i thought we had left the manic pixie dream girl days behind, but aparently not. elektra is funny and bitchy, yes, in a way more reserved way. but the way she behaves sometimes feels like she’s a 19 year old rich girl (she’s a 30 something rich WOMAN. learn the difference). she’s approaching all of this as if this was her first time going out of her confort zone. elektra has always been a very serious in her approach to generally everyone. so this whole attitude feels like how frank miller wrote her in that man without fear one shot.

and THIRDLY, and this might be being TOO nitpicky: not to defend a rich person, but elektra.... has always been kind to people. not in the matt way. not in the superhero way. she’s not a light in people’s night or whatever, but she does help people in her small ways. just bc she kills people doesn’t mean she’s a capitalist kjashfjaksfhk. so the whole “oh homeless lady i have never thought about poverty here have my necklace. goodbye!” feels. so weird. she has been shown to help people who needed her in the moment. as she’s said many times “no one i’ve ever killed was innocent.” she’s not a happy go lucky killer like bullseye (die bitch) but a calculated one. she doesn’t take pride or joy in what she does. she’s not heartless even if she tries to be....

idk what zdarsky is trying to pull here but ive seen it before so i have no idea wtf hes gonna come out with next

(ALSO. what the FUCK is up with stick being alive and working with elektra???? he’s been dead since the 90s??? did i miss something??? also elektra fuckig hates his guts no matter wtf they were doing she wouldnt work with him without at least beating the shit out of him every five minutes. zdarsky explain)

[ambelle]

I don’t see how people actually like Dick/Dawn together? I thought the writers used the relationship to show that Dawn (like Robin) is Dick’s past. He was with her at a time in his life when he was young. He pretty much confirmed that with Rachel in 1x02. Meeting Kory changes Dick. Donna (Dick’s oldest and dearest friend) quickly realizes he has feelings for Kory (who she witnessed trying to kill Rachel) yet he defends her to the end. She says Kory’s a dangerous woman and he messed up with Dawn but Dick persists in helping Kory anyway. Donna’s words are fresh in Dick’s mind when being tested by Trigon in the S1 finale. Trigon shows Dick what his life could be with Dawn. Dick seems happy on the surface with a “normal” life; however, is easily distracted once he returns to Gotham and Kory comes back into the picture. The ordeal with Trigon reveals to Dick that Kory (not Dawn) is his light when Batman kills her and he gives into his darkness. He even asks Kory to come with him and the kids in 2x01, but she says she still has some things to work out. Dick obliges as she did after the asylum experience. Moreover, Dick/Dawn’s chemistry pales in comparison to Dick/Kory and their relationship hasn’t even been fully fleshed out yet. There is a trust, loyalty, protection and intimacy he’s got with her that isn’t shared with the rest of the team (old or new) which is why none of them realized he was about to sacrifice himself for Jason. They all abandon him (with the exception of Gar) when he tells the truth about Jericho. Kory comforts him and says that things will get better once they get over themselves. If Fidei wasn’t an issue Kory would’ve stayed too. After Rachel came to her senses and tried to enlist Donna, Dawn and Kory to find Dick the only one that helps her is Kory. She seems to hint that she fell in love (with Dick) when she talks to the psychiatrist she hooked up with in 2x11. S3 will most likely revisit them saying that they would try again after they figured out who they are and what they plan to become. Working closely with Kory again and the threat of losing her (whether in battle with her sister or to a new love) I hope will push Dick to come to grips with his feelings for her as well. #SlowBurnTorture

“He pretty much confirmed that with Rachel in 1x02.” <<< Honestly this part.

I have no idea why people like DickDawn/ think they are a threat to Dickkory. He does not have romantic feelings for Dawn in present day. And yeah when he and Donna had that conversation about Dawn (which in context was her casually blaming him for Joey’s death yikes) he didn’t even react. His focus was finding and helping Kory. 

With the Trigon thing I think Dawn represented the life he thinks he wants/ would have if he quit being a hero. Not sure why anyone thinks that quitting being a hero is a good thing on a show about being a hero LOL...But anyway Dawn and Jason pushed him to go to Gotham and help Bruce who represented darkness to him. I think Kory was his subconscious. She appeared out of nowhere and pushed him to be happy and free much like she did in real life. And the last thing Dawn says to him in that dream is “of course it’s Kory.” Because yeah it’s obvious where this is all going. 

And I don’t know if it’s the directing or Brenton but if you pay attention to group scenes Dick doesn’t even look at Dawn. And although I think Dawn harbours attraction towards Dick I don’t think she loves him anymore or she wouldn’t have left him to rot in prison. (I mean I’m not convinced her love confession was genuine in the past considering how easy it was for her to leave him after Slade almost killed him but I digress.) And he didn’t return that I love you. If they really wanted to sell us the ship they have been doing an awful job. 

Season 2 showed us Dickdawn completly fall apart as she and the others put all the blame on him even though he was grieving too. Dawn is no different from Hank and Donna but Kory is. S2 was basically the group divided into who gives a damn about him as a person VS who thinks him being the leader means he can’t make mistakes (even mistakes they all pushed him to make. Looking at Donna being crazy in 108 in particular ). Kory just shows up and gets him and that’s it and likewise he always defends her. The ship is good in writing and in chemistry. I wouldn’t trade what we get for what other couples get at all. Also TBH Feddei was a bigger threat than Dawn because Kory was more interested in what he was going through and was willing to return home to save his life. Even though it was platonic that’s better than what happened between DickDawn in s2- her threatening to burn his house down was the longest conversation they had present day. In the past she was pushing him to be like the man he told her was a violent sociopath while he was grieving. Then her complaining that he was too busy to cuddle with her and should quit trying to stop Slade. ( and how are they superheroes if they are willing to let Slade go free to continue murdering people because they are scared? WTF?) Then just leaving without a word.

If nothing else the fact DK was the only pair who didn’t fight or argue or betray each other in s2 tells me the writers aren’t planning on pulling back. They easily could have had her turn her back on him too. But nope because “it’s Kory”.