#I have more to say but then I really will have Said Too Much. ok goodbye

[floipenstein]

Ok I had a bunch more thoughts about this than I thought I would, and I really needed to exorcise them from my brain if this essay is gonna go on my blog. Basically, Executive Dysfunction is real, and the part of the essay I have a problem with is the implication that it's not.

Read more if you wanna read my whole hastily-written fucking rant though (not blaming you if you don't honestly).

Alright, I think this essay is great and actually describes ADHD in a very accurate way. Like this essay is totally worth a read to understand ADHD better. This person has a very good understanding of ADHD. It makes me want to pursue body doubling as a thing instead of just thinking about how it might help me. HOWEVER this is also not to say that body doubling would solve all ADHD problems. This essay is like, ALMOST actually invalidating a bunch of stuff about ADHD at the same time that it's trying to defend ADHD and explain it.

The essay does kind of address this though. It says that ADHD is a real neurotype, which is great, because it is. It points out that meds genuinely help many ADHDers. Which they do, like myself. Without meds I'm like some kind of slug. With meds, I actually have a hope of getting myself to do things, and I can actually put my thoughts together the way I want. They make me feel more like me.

I agree with some parts of what the essay is saying about how society causes a lot of problems that ADHDers have. Like people really do ingrain an individualistic mindset. A lot of people seem to think you should just be able to do stuff on your own. I've also been surprised at how many people think you shouldn't feel rewarded for doing something basic even if it was really difficult for you, which I think is in the same vein of that individualistic idea.

But I think the essay kind of also invalidates a lot of things that I would definitely struggle with even if society were very different. I think my biggest problem is with the paragraph that talks about the duality of ADHD things. "ADHDers lack focus, except for when they don't" etc. Like, all of the things in that paragraph are things that I struggle with, and they are all real, and not just real because society doesn't accommodate me enough or because clinicians see me a certain way.

Both lack of focus AND hyperfocus can and do fuck me over all the time. Without my meds, I AM emotionally volatile AND spacey. Too much for ME! Like I don't enjoy the experience! It's not just that society doesn't accept me a certain way, or that I take meds just to fit into society better. It's that ADHD symptoms fucking suck in their own right! Even if I have the day off, no responsibilities in sight, give me my fucking meds man, I want to fucking think straight.

I do also think that Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is real. And not something caused by the way that society treats us our whole lives. And also not something that everyone goes through. That is the kind of invalidation that I don't like about this essay. Like, executive dysfunction is real, and worth identifying. This essay is so callous against the clinical definitions of ADHD that it kind of points the gun back at the victims imo.

Executive dysfunction is real and worth identifying. Like I said, this essay is great in a lot of ways. Body doubling is tits and I want to more seriously pursue it after reading this, because it will probably help me a lot. But if I want this thing on my blog, I have to make clear what parts I endorse and what parts I don't.

I think anything else I could say would basically be me rambling instead of exorcising thoughts. There. RANT OVER.

Despite how popular and effective body doubling appears to be, empirical research has not tested it as an intervention for people with ADHD at all. It’s a shockingly simple way to address a variety of problems, from a child struggling to complete his homework, to a grown adult who can’t tackle the massive pile of used clothes on her couch. Doctors prescribe stimulants to ADHDers facing “executive functioning” difficulties like these all the time. Yet no clinician has ever examined whether prescribing a body double would be an effective treatment — despite the fact that anecdotally, it addresses the problem more directly than meds do, and it doesn’t come with the risk of building up a physical tolerance or any unwanted side-effects.  To understand why body doubling is so neglected by professionals, we have to look at the flawed way that psychiatry and psychology conceptualizes the ADHDer’s experience. Professionals largely view ADHD as a disorder of motivation and attention, a disability located inside the mind that must be solved on a solely individual level. This framing makes it impossible to understand the ADHDer as a unique, neurodivergent social being interacting with a broader cultural and economic context.  Every feature of ADHD, as it is clinically described, is one of pathology and lack. ADHDers are “time blind”: they don’t have an instinct for what hour of the day it is, or how long a task takes. Nevermind that humans have relied upon time-keeping technologies for as far back as recorded history goes, suggesting that none of us approach time by instinct.  ADHDers lack focus, except for when they don’t, in which case they’re suffering from hyperfocus, and that’s actually a problem too. ADHDers are emotionally volatile — but they’re also too spacy. They dissociate from reality too much, but when they take steps to address this, they are guilty of needing too much stimulation and being too active. And they’re lazy — except for when they’re staying up very late at night working, being most productive during the hours society tells them they ought to be asleep.  If the many complex features of Autism can be best summed up by saying that we have a bottom-up processing style in a world built for top-down processors, then the best way to summarize ADHD is this: people with ADHD are highly socially motivated, but they live in a world where independence is prioritized. 

Read the rest of this essay for free on my Substack!

[justuraverageweirdo]

Lol here have a little Noctyra redesign I did

Design rambles under the cut

Ok so as much as I love Noctyra’s old design I wanted to give my own personal spin and head canons to it! So here we gooooo!

I decided to take that “snake lady” aspect of her and absolutely RUN with it. Specifically in her hair, which I styled after a cobra!

You know, these silly looking guys. I like to imagine her face can open up kind of like a mouth and reveal like rows and rows of teeth but because of her face shadow you can’t see it. More on the face shadow in a moment. I really wanted to lean into a more purplish pink color scheme with her bc I feel like it’s extremely lacking in the og design for her being a NSP entity (which makes sense considering it’s a public model)

Ok so here’s where my headcanons come in. Personally, I like to assume that Noctyra was actually with the astrals before she joined Cetus. Specifically because of some of the stuff she says in the prison episode, like when she brought up the fact that the astrals shoved her in there hoping she’d “change her ways”. The way she talks about it kind of gives off the impression that she just got bored and decided to go apeshit, but I don’t think that’s the case. Especially with how she talks about the astrals. I think she was with the astrals with as a subservient star before she decided to go apeshit with dark star power. And what subservient class specifically?

The messengers.

Yeah I think she was a messenger alongside Nebula. Nebula did mention that there were multiple messengers. I don’t think she’s the one that Nebula talked about loving though because Nebula said that was a causality in war. We’ve already seen how the messengers are treated by the astrals. Specifically Nebula. (Well, only Nebula but we can highly assume it’s the same for the others.) Honestly? If I was being treated like that I’d go apeshit with the power too. But it is also a headcanon lmao. Anyways, because of it I decided to actually search up photos of the Nebula armor (bc I know Nebula’s model is from a game) and design her clothing based off that!

These are the two photos I used in particular. I also kept the little cloak Noctyra had on before in her original design because I think it looked really cute on her. Oh and her tail still curls around her body when she’s not moving I just didn’t wanna draw that lol

Anyways I just did this for fun and practice, back to working on the gladiator au <3

Feedback is appreciated as usualllll

[horoscope1078]

:)

Pau had faced some of the best forwards in the world. But nothing, nothing, had prepared him for this.

“So...” you said, scrolling through your phone with the seriousness of a coach analysing match footage. “As an Aquarius, you need someone intellectually stimulating, independent, and adventurous.”

Pau groaned, dropping his head onto the café table. “Please stop.”

You ignored him. “Look, I’m just trying to help! You need someone who gets you. Someone who can match your energy.”

“I have plenty of energy.”

“Pau...” you said, deadpan. “You take naps like an 80-year-old man.”

“That’s called recovery.” Pau muttered.

You waved him off, still scrolling. “Anyway, you shouldn’t date someone too emotional, because that’ll stress you out.”

Pau sat up straight. “Wait, so you’re saying I shouldn’t date you?”

You blinked, caught off guard. “W..what?”

Pau smirked. “You’re emotional, aren’t you?”

You crossed your arms. “Excuse me?”

“I mean...” Pau shrugged, trying not to look too smug. “You cried over a cat video last week.”

“That cat saved another cat!” you defended. “It was moving.”

Pau chuckled. “Yea yea. But if we’re following your astrology rules, I guess you and I would be a terrible match.”

For a split second, your expression faltered. “I mean… it’s not impossible.”

“No, you said emotional people would stress me out.” Pau leaned back in his chair, grinning. “Guess that means I should start looking for an Aquarius-approved girlfriend.”

Your eyes narrowed dangerously. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Very much.” Pau popped a fry in his mouth.

You huffed. “Fine, then let’s really find you someone.”

Pau choked on his fry. “Wait, no-”

But you were already typing. “I’ll check compatibility charts. Ooo, maybe a Sagittarius? They’re adventurous-”

Pau lunged for your phone. “Give me that!”

You dodged, giggling. “Nope!”

“Seriously, stop trying to matchmake me!”

You smirked. “Why? Are you scared I’ll find you the perfect girl?”

Pau clenched his jaw. The perfect girl is sitting right in front of me, he wanted to say.

But instead, he groaned. “I just don’t want you wasting your time on-”

“Oh! What about a Gemini?” you interrupted. “They’re fun, sociable-”

Pau slid his hands down his face. “This is torture.”

You tapped your chin. “Or maybe a Libra-”

Pau reached across the table and snatched your phone.

“HEY!” you gasped.

“No more astrology.” he declared, holding the phone hostage.

You pouted. “You’re no fun.”

“I’m plenty of fun, just not when I’m being bullied into a fake horoscope dating plan.”

You sighed dramatically. “Fine. I’ll stop.”

Pau sighed in relief and handed back your phone.

You took it with a mischievous grin. “But only if you answer this. What’s your type?”

Pau froze. “I... uh...” He scratched the back of his head. “I don’t… have a type?”

You gasped. “LIES!”

“It’s not lies!”

“It is! Everyone has a type!” you leaned forward eagerly. “Tell me. What kind of girls do you like?”

Pau panicked. If he said his actual type, you'd figure it out in seconds. So, he said the first thing that popped into his head.

“Goalkeepers?”

You blinked. “You like goalkeepers?”

Pau winced. What kind of dumb answer was that? “Yea...” he said quickly, doubling down. “Because… uh… they… have good reflexes?”

You squinted at him. “Pau, do you have a secret crush on Ter Stegen?”

Pau choked on air. “WHAT? NO!”

You cackled. “I knew you had a type!”

“I don’t!”

You smirked. “Uh-huh. Sure.”

Pau groaned, rubbing his temples. “You are so annoying.”

You giggled. “And you love it.”

Pau looked at you, bright-eyed, teasing, completely oblivious to how much he actually did love it. And he realised something. If he didn’t stop you now, you'd actually try to set him up with someone. And that was not happening. So, he did something risky.

He leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. “Ok, fine. Since you’re so smart, tell me, who do you think I should be with?”

You hesitated. “Well…”

“C’mon” Pau said, tilting his head. “If I have a type, tell me, who’s the perfect match for me?”

You opened your mouth. Then closed it. Your confident teasing wavered, and for the first time, Pau saw the gears turning in your head. Your cheeks turned slightly pink.

Pau smirked. “No answer?”

You huffed. “Shut up.”

Pau grinned. “You do have someone in mind, don’t you?”

“No.”

“I think you do.”

You avoided eye contact. Pau won. Finally. You crossed your arms. “Whatever. I’m done with this conversation.”

Pau sat back, victorious. “Good. No more matchmaking.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine.”

Silence. Then “But if you were to date a Sagittarius-”

“OH MY GOD!”

You laughed as Pau groaned dramatically, dropping his head onto the table again. And even though you were the most frustrating person alive, Pau wouldn’t change a thing. Because, honestly, you were the only match he ever wanted.

[into-the-milgramverse]

Controversial opinion but I'm actually starting to like Jackalope as a character. I didn't think much about him before, but he is kinda interesting.

Like, his own opinions on prisoners were mostly just aesthetic based (this one's ugly, this one is mass produced, this one is decent, this one is pretty, etc.) He himself doesn't actually care about the prisoners.

Also, the way he calls out the audience. He basically just throws audience's own beliefs back into our faces. Especially regarding Amane, as much as I disagree with the path the writing is taking when it comes to her character, him referring to her as a demon and a brat is more of a reflection of audience's beliefs on her rather than his own. Her being voted guilty on T1 was enough to tell him "Oh, yall hate this kid, huh? Aight, sure, go ahead then. Keep on hating her."

There's also certain things he says that really make me notice how certain things don't make sense. Example:

Ok, so, apparently, immediately after being voted guilty, the prisoners get put in restraints, right? And also, apparently, they do need food, and if they don't have it, they can starve.

There's many of questions regarding restraints alone that people have already asked, so, instead, I'll point out one thing: The other prisoners just.. Let Muu take the food to Haruka. Like. How can she even carry anything? Shidou even checked up on her to ask her if she's bringing food to Haruka, like... Sir, do you see her? Bring food? With what hands?

But also, Jackalope said he put the restraints on Kotoko himself. How the fuck does that even work, like... Did they seriously see this fuckass rabbit with some extra belts and a jacket with longer sleeves, and just... Let him put it on them? Are you seriously telling me a wolf-coded character simply allowed a fucking rabbit to put a dog muzzle on her? You're telling me that the woman who beats people up to a pulp couldn't just yeet the fuzzy creature?

Another thing, how he points out Mahiru died because Shidou wasn't there. Did she? Did she really? What was Shidou even doing to help anyways? Most serious of the injuries were internal. How would he do anything about those without straight up performing a surgery on her? And I'm pretty sure if he did, given how Milgram slows down healing, she'd end up dying if he did that. So basically, he could only leave her to be as she is, monitor her health to see how it's progressing, and give her different kinds of medication to slow down internal bleeding and ease her pain. But, that same thing can be done by Yuno too, right? She likely was in charge of giving Mahiru meds too when Shidou was taking breaks. Surely he'd write down somewhere at what time to give what meds. So why couldn't Yuno just... Order those meds too? Or does Milgram only allow a now unlicensed doctor who's in prison to order medication? Seriously, what are the rules regarding who can order what? What are the limits for when it comes to what inno prisoners can request?

[pinksugarscrub]

Strawberry Milkshakes

Skater! Hobie Brown x Ballerina! Reader

He was a punk. She did ballet. What more can I say?

Thank you for your patience! Le college has been kicking my ah so I immensely appreciate it and of course a special thank you to my beta reader @hyperfix-wip

word count: 1508

warnings: feelings? snooty ballerinas?

~

Your limbs are sore but you find no complaint on your lips as you sit next to Hobie. The pain isn’t unbearable. Not in the way it usually is after hours of being in your pointe shoes. The leather of your skates somehow isn’t grating compared to the silk ribbons.

You never quite liked the quiet before. Yes the streets were full of cars and birds were chirping- but between the two of you not a word was said and it felt ok. No…expectations.

Adorning the pink leather bracelet he had given you, (that you haven’t taken off since first period) you trace the studs. Wondering what to say just to hear his voice again because though you may like the silence, you like the space he fills in your heart. 

“I don’t think I fit in.” Spills from your lips and you’re not sure you’ll regret it until you see his response. 

Hobie shifts his attention to you at the sound of your voice. He’s confused but more than willing to listen as he gestures for you to continue. Gravel crunches underneath his shoes. Beat up, bleached, and hidden under torn jeans.

“I know it isn’t true but it’s like all of these thoughts in my head are real possibilities.” You continued, tugging on a blade of grass. “I know I have a place here but what if that doesn’t matter? What if that changes and I’m left behind?” Rolling your feet back and forth anxiously you look toward the setting sun. You spent all afternoon with Hobie and yet it didn’t feel like enough. The hours went by too quickly for your own liking. 

“I have friends but what do they think of me? Why do I feel so left out? Why am I always so scared they’ll pick someone else over me.” 

When Hobie’s hand falls over your own you want to tug it away. You don’t want to be comforted. It makes you feel weak.

“What if I’m not good enough for anyone?”

Hobie taps on the back of your hand. Lips pursed. The sound of laughter mixes with the city noise. Kids playing on slides that still burned from the sun and created static that made their hair stand on end.

“It’s lonely.” He finally adds onto the conversation and judging by the look of confusion he receives it’s your turn to listen.

Hobie pulls his hand away. Setting his hand on the grip tape of his board. It digs into his palms but it distracts from the lump in his throat. “I mean, for everyone. No matter who you are, you never stop feeling like that.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he nods.

A shriek of glee causes you to turn your head but your eyes are back on Hobie within a second. You want to hold him. Indirectly comfort yourself by being able to support him.

You’ve seen so many different sides to him ever since you started meeting here.

From an outside perspective Hobie always seemed so confident and self-assured. Like he didn’t need anyone. You guess that’s why before the start of your friendship it was easy to follow along with your friends. Laugh at his expense. Joke because you were too much of a coward to express yourself the way he did. You’ll never forgive yourself for being so close minded but you’ll spend the rest of your time together making up for it.

“It’s complicated, for me.” His voice grew thicker. Like honey. But instead of the sweet taste meant to soothe it's the way it uncomfortable sticks to your fingers and clothes. “I’m so used to people bashing on me it’s just easier to block them out. So I don’t have to think about it.”

The sky grows pink and suddenly it’s harder to see but that doesn’t matter. There’s nowhere else you’d rather be.

“I don’t want to think about it.” Hobie says in a quiet voice. “All I’ve ever needed is me. Don’t want to admit I want more than that, y’know?”

“Yeah,” you answer. Eyes glossing over as you look away. “I do but…I don’t feel that way about you.” 

Hobie’s chest feels tight while yours feels like it’s about to combust. 

Hobie could fade out of existence or more specifically, your life after graduation. Less and less texts until he becomes an unknown number on your contact list. It’s just—Hobie Brown would never pretend to be something or hide from you. He was honest and kind and smart and oh…so wonderful.

What could he say in response to that? Hobie doesn’t know but he slides a hand around your waist and tugs you closer and this time, he doesn’t question what you are. He doesn’t guess what these frequent meetings have meant when you’ve answered his questions so perfectly.

Hobie presses his nose to your hair. He wants to kiss you but he doesn’t know if he should. So he settles for this. 

He doesn’t want to go home and what can he do to prolong the inevitable? He perks up suddenly as he inhales your scent again. “Hey, want a strawberry shake? On me?” 

Under the fluorescent light Hobie still looked beautiful to you. You find yourself wishing every night would end with the two of you under the stars even in this light polluted city. 

“Yeah, sounds perfect.” 

Hobie smiles. That lopsided smile that isn’t like the ones he normally gives at school. 

He almost slips and you try not to laugh because he must have forgotten he was sitting on his board. You take his hand and slowly roll to his car. Let him sit you on the trunk and unlace your skates. 

Your watch ticks five minutes past eight o’clock but you don’t care. Hobie is worth breaking your curfew. 

-

The air conditioning hits you in a wave as you step foot inside the dinner. Reaching behind you, you already find Hobie’s fingers intertwined with your own.

“How many?”

“Two please.” Hobie responds to the waitress. Grinning, he notices the older woman glancing down at your hands. “Thanks Joan.”

She giggles and grabs a few menus. “Right this way.”

‘Joan?’ You mouth once her back is turned. You wouldn’t have pegged Hobie to have enough of a sweet tooth to be on a first name basis with her but to each their own you suppose. 

“Written on her name tag love,” Hobie whispers. Tapping a finger of his chest and smiling when you falter in your step.

He’ll definitely be calling you that more often.

Before you can sit in the chair as opposed to the booth Hobie’s coaxing you into your seat. Squeezing your hand before sitting across from you in that same rocky chair that makes your back hurt.

You aren’t hungry and neither is Hobie so strawberry shakes are all you order and fries after you think about it for a moment.

You argue about the salty sweet combo of shakes and fries while Hobie pretends to gag. Nudging your foot under the table.

The sugar is the most satisfying thing you taste after such a long day. A tall glass of pink decorated in whipped cream and a cherry. Two, once Hobie plops his into your melting and quickly depleting shake.

It’s like you said, you don’t think about fitting into a mold or expectation. You just enjoy the happiness in his eyes and relax.

Someone plays the same song on the jukebox in the corner of the room for the second time. Chatter fills your ears and then voices you recognize. 

Turning your head you spot your friends. Freshly out of practice. You can already feel their curious gazes. Questions upon question coupled with disbelief cleverly hidden under the guise of concern. You won’t shy away if they walk up, you aren’t ashamed nor will you ever be of Hobie Brown.

“You should go say hi.” Hobie chuckles while nudging your foot again to grab your attention.

“Mm, I’m happy right here.” You answer as your eyes meet again before you burst into laughter.

“What?” Hobie’s eyes widened, caught like a deer in headlights.

“You’ve got-” You wheeze as you tap your lip. 

“Here?” He slowly grins. Purposefully missing when he wipes his thumb over his cheek.

“No,” you laugh harder.

“Here?”

“Oh my- hold still.”

Hobie leans forward happily on his elbows for you to clean the whipped cream on his lip.

“Thank you lovie.”

“Mhm.” 

You don’t move your hand away. Instead you cradle his cheek. Looking at him like he was the only thing worth paying attention to in the room.

You’re startled when he scoots back abruptly. Even more so when his voice cracks as he asks for the check. Then he’s taking your hand and running out of the diner. It’s all so fast it’s enough to give you whiplash.

“What-?”

“I couldn’t do this in there.” He cuts you off before crashing his lips onto yours.

‘There is more that meets the eye, I see the soul that is inside’ - Avril Lavigne (sk8tor boy)

-

taglist: @insideoutjulie

[5leggedlamb]

while I do relate to SOME. emphasis on SOME aspects of shadow milk - namely the crushing weight of both loneliness and helplessness (and the, KOF silly, KOF theatrics, except mine are better, 100% -eats him to establish dominance-); I believe his character could've been handled a bit differently. I don't really like the legendary costume thing (and how they made shadow milk more on brand with pure vanilla's theme, like please let them live in their own respective lanes? please?? keep them separate you don't have to go so far as to have matching outfits with your coworkers as far as I'm concerned) or how devsisters commercialized and capitalized off of the chapter 8 and the sort of "bond" shadow milk shares with pure vanilla. I think Shadow Milk can be a likeable character, no matter how much I want to shake and squeeze him but the way Devsisters is playing in the fandom's narrative/fancy bothers me some. Like. Most of the time, canon and fanon are two separate things, sometimes separated by an ocean - what am I saying, an ABYSS, and I'm fine with that, I even feel like it should stay like that. Sure, developers and creators are allowed to play into the fanon's shenanigans, and ultimately I'm just a nameless user on the internet what am I going to change about that; but I do believe it should be kept somewhat at bay. Like this whole PV/SM thing is… How to say. Somewhat invasive, almost. And I don't really like the way Devsisters has played into it SO MUCH (that tier list video. can we. like. ok it was funny, but do it for the ancients and other beasts too at least please). I would've preferred to be able to fully enjoy my Pure Vanilla without constantly being reminded of the clown.

And about the debt thing, I think if they did like more events centered around specific cookies, they might rake in more money. They could even do polls to figure out who the community wants to see next, because I'm sure every single cookie is someone's favorite. I don't know, I feel like I'm not articulating my thoughts very well I can only hope you guys see what I'm talking about jzihek 😭

I can't really speak for Ovenbreak players, as I've only ever played CRK, but I can sense your pain through my screen, stay strong 🙏

That being said, I AM excited about Silent Salt. I secretly hope they'll really play into the "oh they actually betrayed the Beasts" narrative,, AND KEEP THAT BUG DESIGN I AM BEGGING YOU PLEASE PLEASE DEVSISTERS ahem. As I was saying I kinda hope they'll go for the... Yeah Beasts and Ancients must unite against this new, universal threat, because otherwise everyone is doomed narrative. That's what I would do, anyway... Maybe Silent Salt could be seeking to awaken the ultimate cookie,, who knows??

No, Merchant, feel free to complain to your hearts content. I'm certainly much meaner to ugly blue alastoroncelerbillcipherspamton from temu and every last inch of his undeserved popularity. I seethe because as an Ovenbreak player of SEVEN YEARS, none of my faves get remembered in a tweet, let alone merchandise. The dragons, who all took over five years to collectively come out, got a pin set and devsis wiped their asses with them then moved on. I waited over a YEAR for another sugar nova odyssey update to come out because xylitol nova and astronaut are my favorite cookies ever and I'm still fucking waiting 🫠 meanwhile the beasts are getting shat out every 3 months with the most rushed nonsensical recycled plotlines held together with scotch tape because making profit is what really matters here, not competent storytelling. I wouldn't even be this furious if the beasts got equal attention and spotlight but we both know that's not true hahaha 😬 they love to shove their (really badly designed) golden cow in our faces because Smilk was lab engineered to get sexyman tumblr girlies screaming their heads off while not even being 1/4th the interesting character they want you desperately think he is. JUSTICE for burning spice, mystic flour, and everyone else who will get done dirty for this boring walmart Jevil 😒

Oh my gosh 🤣🤣🤣 tell us how you REALLY feel, Anon, let it all out. It's not healthy to bottle up your emotions like that (you might want to stay anonymous though, I don't think either of us want an angry mob at your doorstep lol)

I'm anticipating a ramble (as I am wont to do) so under the cut it goes

Gonna start by saying I DO like Shadow Milk. I really do. It took me a little while for him to grow on me when he first appeared, admittedly (ESPECIALLY his voice...), but I am genuinely fond of the little blue jester man. But he's certainly not my favorite, far from it. That title belongs to Burning Spice and Burning Spice alone lol. The only reason I ever turned the English audio back on (I usually play the game in Japanese, I love hearing my fave anime characters speak lol) was so I could hear that gorgeous baritone of his... Burning Spice is everything to me. I love his design, I love his voice, I love his dialogue, I love his personality, I love him soooooo much. He's my babygirl. If Silent Salt turns out anything like the character I've constructed inside of my head, then he will share the #1 spot with Spice. I'll go ahead and say that right away

I'm upset because, like you said, it feels like he got majorly shafted while Shadow Milk gets all the praise and attention. Mystic Flour as well, poor girl, but I'm focusing on Spice just to drive the point home a bit better. He didn't even get a fucking countdown. What was his little merch thing? That weird ass candle (I thought it was a vase at first lol) and that's it. Furthermore, his story feels the least developed. There was and is SO MUCH that could have been said about him as a person as well as his dynamic/connection with Golden Cheese, that wasn't for whatever reason. Episodes 5 and 6 feel like they're missing something (and you feel what the "something" is in that brief flashback to Spice's past. There's more to what became of him than "I was bored", there HAS to be. Boredom is a symptom, not the cause. I maintain that this theory of mine has merit, and it would've been nice if they dove deeper into it than they did), you know? And I hate it. I hate that Spice is basically the forgotten middle child of the Beasts while Shadow Milk gets all the glory. Seriously, for Shadow Milk:

They changed their YT avatar to him for a while (it has ALWAYS been Gingerbrave, they never changed it once to anyone else all these years). iirc they did this on Twitter too

They dedicate an HOUR LONG commentary video to episode 7 and Shadow Milk (arguably fair, because it WAS the 4th anniversary. But even so. Did they do this for any other Beast? Any other episode? Any other anniversary?)

They give him a costume (a legendary one, at that) plus a set with his Ancient. NO OTHER Beast/Ancient pair has that, and I struggle to imagine they ever will. Do you understand what I would do to have a BS/GC costume set? DO YOU???

They make an exclusive, limited edition plushie (that caused a massive shitstorm iirc, justice for everyone that got fucked over during that and fuck scalpers)

They make a whole ass pop-up store event themed entirely around Shadow Milk and episodes 7 and 8

Why? Because he's the fan favorite lol. He's long since been the golden child of this community, and now we know he's Devsisters' golden child, too. (And they're desperate for money because they're drowning in debt. That's also probably why they released Shadow Milk on the 3rd anniversary: to drum up interest on a milestone anniversary by bringing in a beloved character. Thematically/narratively, Shadow Milk should've been released last. But that's just my opinion.)

Again, I really do like Shadow Milk. I call him "Walmart Bill Cipher" affectionately (and because he genuinely does remind me of Bill. In fact, I think Bill might've inspired SM to some degree). But it's unfortunate that other characters, the other Beasts especially, are pushed aside and ignored just so Shadow Milk can hog all the spotlight. It is with a very intense grimace that I agree that Shadow Milk is a Tumble sexyman. He fits the stereotype to a T. It would serve us all well to accept that truth. He even got added to the Tumblr sexyman wiki before it turned to flour lol. Burning Spice is... NOT a Tumblr sexyman. He is a regular old hunk. Tumblr was never in the business of liking big, beefy hunks, at least not the Tumblr I knew 10 years ago lol.

I'm also, to reference it again, just really disappointed that so little was and is done to explore the other Beast/Ancient pairs - and the fandom is guilty of this, too (not to knock the PV/SM anaylses at all! They're all fantastic and I genuinely do understand and love the deep, complex connection between them!). To go back to BS and GC, because they're my lifeblood (not just for shipping reasons I swear)... it's particularly egregious to me that THEIR dynamic wasn't given the attention and detail it deserves. They are LIFE AND DEATH, the very foundation of the world itself, things I (personally) consider significantly more important than truth and deceit because it is from life and death that all else springs forth. Truth and deceit are things you actively look for; life (abundance) and death (destruction) are just there, everywhere you look, even within yourself. You can close your eyes, ears, heart to the truth and you can learn to shun, decipher, defend against deceit; there is no escape from life nor death. None whatsoever. And so much can be done with that. So much can be done with them. Burning Spice and Golden Cheese need each other in the exact same way that Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla need each other. They parallel each other quite a bit, too. They're so similar and so different. They could have and SHOULD HAVE had so much to say to and about each other, like what Shadow Milk and Pure Vanilla have. But that didn't happen. Didn't happen with Dark Cacao and Mystic Flour, either. All of that love and care and philosophical exploration goes to the clown and the Jesus Christ allegory. Which is FINE, I'm not saying to leave those two hanging, just... show some of that love to the beefcake and the bird, too. And Korean Batman (Cacao reminds me of Batman, I'm sorry 🤣) and Ms. Angel of Death, too. Please, man. Truth and Deceit aren't the only dichotomy that matters and is worthy of thought and discussion

(and oh my God, dude. The Ovenbreak shit. I've been playing for as long as you, and that shit is diabolical at this point. We get ONE dragon update a year, and they always leave us on the most painful cliffhanger of all time each time. (And this last one... I have many issues, but the most glaring one of all: WHERE THE FUCK IS FIRE SPIRIT??? WHY ISN'T HE IN THE STORY??? HE IS INTRINSICALLY LINKED TO PITAYA DRAGON! THEY HAVE AN UNBREAKABLE BOND BECAUSE OF THEIR DEAL THAT GRANTED HIM SOME OF PITAYA'S POWER AND SAVED HIS LIFE! HE SHOULD BE AN INTEGRAL PART OF THIS ARC! HE SHOULD BE AT THE FOREFRONT! IF PITAYA GETS HURT, HE GETS HURT! FIRE SPIRIT'S WELL-BEING IS DIRECTLY TIED TO PITAYA'S AND THE DRAGON'S VALLEY AND BOTH ARE IN SERIOUS JEOPARDY!!! Oh God I can scream about this for so long. I have a similar issue with the Red Dragon arc in CRK, WHY WASN'T FIRE SPIRIT THERE?) I LOVE the dragons, I love their relationship with each other, I love the conflict between them, even the unique bonds/quarrels between specific ones! And their storyline is picked up and dropped over and over again, left to collect dust until they feel like continuing the story. Hell, remember Gingerbrave and co.'s quest to find where that wizard compass is pointing, and to find a place for them to build a peaceful life away from the Witches? Me neither lol. Sea Fairy's great sacrifice with Sugarteara and the cursed pearl? (SF was done SO dirty in Kingdom, she's an actual character in OB and in CRK all she cares about is Moonlight, to the point that she lets an entire civilization fall to ruin because she refuses to do her fucking job) The Xylitol gang... Well, as of writing this, that's the next update... Which will give us another legendary cookie, hardly 3 months after Dreamweaver lol. Fuck Stevia Nova, I already don't give a damn. Give me more Xylitol Nova and Astronaut and that's it

I have a lot more to say (especially about BS and GC, God I could talk about them FOREVER, they're so interesting to me), but I think I've rambled enough lol. All the love for Shadow Milk, truly, but all the love and justice for Burning Spice and the other Beasts and every other character that gets ignored, too

[xxplastic-cubexx]

was talking to my brother the other day after i rewatched dark phoenix and he was like 'why is everyone so mean to charles in this movie?? were they always this mean to him ?? is it cause he's bald now- he lost his pretty privilege??' and i fear i havent recovered

[moeblob]

A lil guy !

[mel-loly]

-Thank you to everyone who is still here liking, commenting and reblogging my content, even though I'm not posting much “fandom stuff” anymore, you're still here! And I really appreciate that.. (and that makes me so happy, that as I showed in the “comic”, it moves me, so- thank you, really!!) :]💛

Also- a tip: there are also many other blogs that don't post fandom stuff, but when they do, they get more likes and reblogs than the original/other content.. So also give love to those people who have your original content, reblog, like, comment, because that's what they need! Recognition for your original content! And I know you won't regret it, and it won't hurt you to do what I said! In fact, you will be doing good and giving such love that many wanted and deserve.

A big kiss/p and a hug! Even for those who only like it when I post fandom stuff, I still love you so much, and I won't stop making this type of content, ok? I just want to give more voice to what I have to give as original, because that's what makes me happy and well ^^

-Melissa, Designer.

[maybequinnidk]

2x19

the type of episode i like. all about the girls and a dude with a pretty sad backstory

shit it's "Alex" !!!!

maggie doing her job and being very good at it oh yay

kara comes in and becomes maggie's vulture oh no

17 HOURS??

"you never look before you leap" "because i can fly" i like that kara isn't on the right in this argument

mon-el shut up

also i like that maggie separates kara from supergirl. it's a nice touch to her character

lena has a ted talk ???? i desperately need to see it

"we could transport food and water [...] solve climate change" best billionaire to ever exist, except she doesn't exist

why are all the agents just like 🕴️🕴️🕴️

reading too much into things, identity edition: what happened between now and s4 that only like, 5 agents, other than alex and brainy, know kara is supergirl? did they all get fired? did they die. no one is trying to hide that at all... she literally just said word by word "they know kara danvers is supergirl" for everyone to hear, so what changed

"he met this horrible girl" "oh no who" "kara zor-el" "oh thank god, i thought you were going to say kara danvers"

lena should have stolen her

ok so saying "thank gods" is a giveaway to being an alien (you couldn't possibly be polytheistic) but "i flew here... on- on a bus" is totally normal?

losing-her-calm kara

the desperation. the stakes

OOOH that rick. from the s1 flashback

i thought kenny was her only friend back then, as brief as that was

they went dark with his character background

starting to think red kryptonite wouldn't do that much for her this season. she hasnt really been hiding her anger

people being able to lie counter: i should have started this one way earlier

reading too much into things, lena edition: she just wanted honesty and transparency i think and it just so happened that what rhea was hiding is that she's an alien. but the script communicated that poorly... if you only watch this one scene it's possible to misread the situation in a way that just makes lena look like a xenophobe: "you're an alien so i don't want to work with you" instead of "you were lying so i don't want to work with you". which is why it sounds so similar to what she will say to kara when they fight; it's not about being an alien, it's about being a liar

he did his research

smart and badass alex

smart and good cop maggie knowing how to read people and that there's more to the situation

smart rick. he really thought about all the possibilities

good cop/bad cop

i had so much hope they would be endgame 😭😭😭

this isn't really an entrance, you know

rhea is lucky that lena found it out this fast and by herself. imagine if she found out after they had been working together for 3 years and through her dying brother's last words

but maggie was right tho

i love the tension in this episode. have i said that already

crazy that the paragon of hope has gotten to a point where she needs a lesson on how to use her words

"are you okay?" "im not the one who just got blasted by her greatest weakness" "did they hurt you?" "who cares?!" "i do!"

"i love you" 🥹

she anna'd him, as in punched him the way anna punched hans. frozen

maggie receiving the credit she deserves + super-sawyer solidarity = me happy

rewatching and commenting SG because it's leaving netflix soon, s2

season 1 was satisfying overall, not that frustrating

lots of lena

2x01

why another location? whatever, it's fine. i like the old place too, alex

I 100% believe that kara thought the online quiz would be accurate, just like she thought the dating app in 1x01 would be, bc the algorithm cant possibly be wrong right? bc that's how it was on krypton

"kiera danvers"

eve !!!! i love her so much

"MISS TESSMACHER" counter: 1 (lex stole that from ms grant)

the striped one looked better

i just wanted kara to be a space nerd. is that too much to ask??? "yes", the cw responds

thank god cat and lena weren't there

oh look it's him. so inoffensive

super cousins save the day together counter: 1

new and upgraded title card

in s1 j'onn didn't seem to have beef with clark when they mentioned him that one time

her skirt has pockets. i want it

ok so crushing on kryptonians give badass CEOs prosopagnosia, got it

LENAAAAA 🚨🚨🚨 KATIEEEE

"and who are you exactly?" does she not recognize her gf?

a fic where cat and lena are friends and talk about their crushes on clark and kara to each other and the other is like "you do know that their are a super, right?" and the other is like "pfft nah"

"mr. kent" she says as if she doesn't know who he is. as if he wasn't lex's best friend once upon a time. as if they're complete strangers. but after everything they might as well be

kara's unwavering belief in lena counter: ∞

they should stop talking about super stuff in the middle of a croud

another partnership ruined bc of kryptonite

another batman reference. they said gotham this time. improvements

"i was thinking italian, I could fly there" not gonna say it, not gonna say it. there's four seasons to go still

her dress also has pockets?? amazing

"MISS TESSMACHER" counter: 2

im gonna miss her

"who would want lena luthor dead?" j'onn. my man. who doesn't want her dead? have you met her family? they hate her! and the luthor-haters also hate her

kaznia mentioned

you know what? her face does look different with glasses and her hair up

not them casually talking like they didn't just meet today

alex's fight scenes are so good

lena with a gun counter: 1

Kara's brain turning into mush when lena talks to her. mood

cat is already proud of her protege

she's leaving

"miss tessmacher" counter: 1

she really said "something has changed within me, something is not the same. im through with playing by the rules of someone else's game"

winn rambling is cute

cousin banter. cute too

i wish kal-el had been more present in kara's life for her sake. but for my sake, im glad he is not so present in the show

ugh lillian

[alohaasaloevera]

ok maybe klance is boring cause it’s everywhere and maybe they don’t share too many scenes together so but I don’t really give a shit! look at them! they’re so…klance. i say there’s another few months give or take before my interest in them finally burns out and it stays dormant for like two years before I pick it up again and i go feral over the two because they’re KLANCE

[hilacopter]

torn between not being able to trust goyim to not be antisemitc anymore unless they really prove me otherwise and going "I guess we'll get along" when they find out I'm Israeli and still treat me like a human being

[frogeyedape]

I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs

Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this

Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU

SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.

so. 1) not a violation

I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw

I have disputed the fact of the violation

I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH

So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)

OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket

[sinnettini]

are you catholic? i wouldn't have said so

anon 😭😭 i'm not trying to make fun of you and i'm taking this as a compliment actually but i don't know how to tell you this... i'm literally italian 😭

but seriously, i've grown up catholic yeah, but i don't believe in god and haven't taken part in anything religious in many years. i would say i'm like culturally catholic tho. and technically still catholic to the eyes of the church bc baptism and all that

[simcardiac-arrested]

zavijava info PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!! PLEASEEEEE ZAVIJAVA COME HOME ... PLEASE .... umm um um ill tell you about umm . tma au im making for nastya if u tell me about her .PLEASE!!!!!!!

so she is definitely a star of some kind. i mean she is an angel but in that story in particular The Stars are kind of angels. like they’re otherworldly beings and they jus kinda hang out. cosmically. it’s a different dimension separated from the human one but like, obviously stars still exist for humans, they just don’t do anything crazy because the rules of the world dictate that their realities shouldn’t interact. angels can observe the other world from far up above yet they still exist on a different level. But tbh zavijava had never enjoyed the otherworldly ethereal whatever lifestyle—she just didn’t feel like she fit in there. she is a #1 humans fan though so she knows that’s where she’d fit in. so she does just that. she fits in perfectly :) and normally :) yay :)

[dennisboobs]

.