Tumgik
#I have better things to do and I just want this entire environment to finally be acting right
copperpipes · 2 months
Text
I spec bio'ed Ultraman from Ultraman:Rising for fun (part 1)
the actual file I've written (and still writing) is now far over 2k words, so I desided to break it down to a series of posts so that it would be easier to digest, but if you don't want to wait for me to get them one by one out you can just go and read that long ass file yourself/lh
I understand that the film wasn't meant to be looked into on this level, at the end of the day this is just fan speculative biology, not an official theory, nor is it law, if you find a scientific inaccuracy i'll gladly hear you out in the comments to this post. but essentially what i'm doing here is having fun in my own silly little way :]
I've done some research into ultra physiology and some things didn't make sense to me, partially because there are more than one iteration all with their own worldbuilding, but I'll do my best to try and piece them all together without losing the source material too much.
Tumblr media
[updated ultra Kenji design]
(The rest under cut) vvv
fact no.1
ultras are aliens and before they were ultras they were humans (or humanoids, or human-like, i'd like to believe so and i will do you one better).
not going to spoil much but something happened, and they were forced to build this thing called the ultra-spark to keep their civilization going, and the ultra-spark turned them all into giants, ultras.
fact no.2
the weapons ultraman uses (those buzzsaws thingies, shields, beams and glowing fists) are made out of something called spacium energy, positive running through the right side of ultraman’s body and negative running through the left, with the spacium beam appearing when he connects those energies by crossing his arms.
fact no.3
Ultraman himself is made of spacium energy and its presence is vital for him to exist. the ultra-spark is what gave and gives the ultra species spacium energy, ultras can also produce it on their own using other types of energy (solar energy on earth for example) but are not as efficient as the source material, hence why on earth ultraman’s energy runs out quicker then it would for example in space where energy is more abundant.
What is spacium wasn't completely clear to me, what I understood was that Ultraman has it (I think it was his skin that was made out of spacium?) and uses it to convert solar energy into spacium energy. 
I think spacium is meant to be an original element. and from what a mutual kindly told me (thank you @bazookaboi!!) its atomic number is 133. very very unstable in natural environments and extremely radioactive, so with all due respect allow me to ignore that entirely and let it remain a mystery for everyone’s sake.
fact no.4
ultras as a culture have a very strong sense of justice and moral code. (and I guess very emotionally intelligent? empathetic? but i'm not sure about this part ;-;)
Now let us finally start with the Ultra spec bio:
i'll start from the less obvious half for my own sake, you may skip this part if you're here just for Kenji’s human part (which i won't blame you for the designers cooked with this one) but just so you know there would be parts you won't be able to understand.
general ultra spec bio: physiology and body structure (my favorite part):
Do ultras breathe? was my first question and my answer would be, i don't think so.
down to the cellular level cells use oxygen in order to generate chemical energy that comes in the form of ATP, out of glucose and oxygen with ATP and CO2 as the outcome. (The difference between animal and plant cells is how they get their glucose.)
Now ultras don't seem to eat, and why would they? and breathing is not necessary since they already get the energy they need from spacium converting outside energy into spacium energy, on the outside there’s the spacium, and on the inside there’s the spacium energy just running around. it can be let out in certain areas of the body, but essentially this energy is all held together by the ultra’s skin (also probably why ultras have no openings on their body, so there wouldn't be a leakage of their life soup).
An ultra's internal structure is unknown, or at least I haven't been able to find anything on the matter, but in the movie both Kenji and his dad get injured, which means that there is something to be damaged.
i really like how the film handles injury actually, it shows explicitly the consequences of a serious injury and how it can sometimes be a life changing thing. It has a blatant effect long or short term and I need someone to analyze it more in depth. I know someone will eventually.
part 1
All the people who wanted this, i call thee.
next, part 2
@wtf-a-psychoanalysis @fantasma-espacial @spuuks-s @theviewer @whimsicalloser @m1lf-hunter-69
231 notes · View notes
dreamauri · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
♪ — 𝗪𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡? - part six max verstappen x reader (angst) “… when he wants to be normal, he can count on you, stranger.”
Tumblr media
( fic master list | general master list ) ( requests ) ( previous | next )
Tumblr media
"Let's start the bidding at $500,000. Do I have 500,000?" 
"500,000,"
"Thank you, 500,000. Do I hear 600,000? 600,000?"
You held back the urge to lean your head on your hand, leaning back in the chair and resting your hands on your lap instead. This wasn't your natural environment. Not a setting you were confident in.
But when your boss calls in sick; who better to replace him and represent your company, Cisco, for a few team-sponsored outings than you? Sure, you weren't a fan of fancy balls and expensive auctions, but you did like going to Silverstone for a free Grand Prix ticket. What's better than a paid week of vacation in the UK to socialize with rich people and watch a Formula One race free of charge?
"700,000," Lando called, raising his number. You chuckled softly at the unimpressed look Zak Brown gave his driver. You'd been sitting with the two McLaren team members and other sponsor representatives, after all, that was what you were here to do.
"You're going to finish all your money," Zak commented, gulping down his glass.
"Shh! I need that car," Lando hushed, concentrating on the auctioneer before raising his number and shouting a bigger number than the last person. "One point two million!"
You playfully rolled your eyes at the driver's competitiveness. Taking a sip from your champagne glass, you listen to Lando and two other people fight over the Ford Thunderbird. When Lando called a difficult two million you thought he'd finally take it home when there were no objections, until…
"Three million," you froze at the voice. It was one you've come to be very familiar with, one you've come to love chatting with while wearing headphones in your bed at night or sitting at your sim on weekends.
"Sold to the Gentleman—" you let the world around you blur as you pulled your phone out, glad that the brightness of your screen was at its lowest.
He didn't mention going anywhere when you chatted this morning. What would Amilian be doing here? You were sure it was his voice. It couldn't have been anyone else's. But what would bring him here?
It would make sense though. The Red Bull headquarters is in Britain and this is a motorsport event. Maybe he had been dragged out here in a similar situation to you. Or maybe he was here on his own accord for fun.
la. — I think I just heard your voice?? la. — Did you just buy an old red ford?
amilian. — ?? amilian. — What? Where are you? amilian. — nvm i see you
la. — where are you?????
amilian. — when the dance floor opens, stand aside and i'll come to you
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You read the message over and over again in your head as you stood aside, watching as people gathered to pile onto the dance floor as music started playing.
Your eyes desperately searched the attending faces for a face you didn't even know. The thought lingered in your head, would you be able to know your Amilian if you saw him? You were sure you would even if it sounds impossible.
Is Amilian a friend? He couldn't just be a friend. Did you feel more towards him? That's an insane thing to think. You haven't met before and have only conversed on the internet. You can't like a guy you met online.
What if he's been catfishing you this entire time? What if he's not your type? What if he is your type? What if he's tall and has a beautiful smile? What if his touch is just as gentle and soft as his voice— what if you're not his type?
"Champagne?" the voice came from behind you, accompanied by a gentle caress of your back. The chuckle that left his lips when you jolted in surprise sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his smirk as he gently held the glass for you to take. It was definitely your Amilian.
You couldn't dare to turn and look. Instead, you silently took the champagne glass from his warm hands with a small anxious sip and looked at the crowd of dancing rich people.
It's when you feel his hand pull from your back and instead drape a necklace around your neck did you move confused. You touched the silver jewelry with confusion and recognition.
This was your necklace. The one you'd forgotten at Max's when you stayed the night at his apartment. How'd Amilian get it? Or were you so overconfident in your ability to recognize your Amilian that you forgot the fact that other people know you? Because apparently, you recognized wrong.
"Max, hi," You greeted with a blush once you'd turned to see who was there. "Thank you," You smiled, looking down at the necklace that completed your outfit.
Max felt his cheeks warm once he saw your soft smile. He felt the pain he's been feeling in his stomach for the past three months subside. A relief that he could only describe as the momentary relief addicts get during relapse. The firework-like euphoria in his heart made all the waiting worth it.
"I was going to give it to your boss to give it back to you," He says with a hand gesture, his other hand gently returning to the small of your back. "But I'm glad I got to return it to you myself," He smiled.
You smiled back, feeling your cheeks heat with a blush that you hoped the Dutchman didn't notice. "Thank you so much, Max. I owe you."
"Can't argue with that." Max felt his smile widen at your offer, his heart fluttering at the sound of your voice he's come to adore. "Maybe I could have this dance?" He took a step towards the ballroom feeling excitement rush through him.
Max couldn't believe that he'd get a chance to dance with you. He tried to keep his smile from getting too big or show the amount of excitement he was feeling. This felt like a dream come true, finally. Like a scene out of a Disney movie. The room was starting to disappear as he looked into your eyes, but the world returned into focus quickly once he saw you didn't step forward with him.
"I'm actually waiting for someone," You mumble, nervously twirling a strand of your hair around a finger.
Crack! Max felt his heart squeeze and a painful feeling rush in his chest and his stomach. He felt jealous, angry and in pain at the same time. Jealous of himself. Anger for putting himself in this situation and that Amilian existed. And pain from the fact that you preferred his alter-ego over him.
"Amilian, right?" He asked. You felt a wave of anxiousness at the way the excitement and joy washed from Max's body language, replaced by something you couldn't quite recognize, something dark and frustrated.
"How did you—" You stuttered in surprise, voice trailing off and eyes wide. Why wouldn't he know Amilian? They work together. Amilian literally got Max into baggy pants for you— "Y-you know Amilian?"
"Let's take a walk," Max suggested after a hesitant breath. His hand remained on your back as he gestured to a hall away from the crowds of people. You took a moment to think before letting his gentle and soft touch lead you away.
Your head is filled with confusion, embarrassment and uncertainty. Questions ran through your mind as your eyes looked at the hung paintings you passed. You feared that you'd left Amilian back there and he was looking for you. The halls were quiet as you walked with Max.
Was this a prank? Did the two boys team up to give you a scare? Did Max know something you didn't? Was Amilian chickening out and had told Max to come to you instead?
"You know, La, I like blue on you more."
Your body froze dead in your tracks once you heard the third word that passed his tongue and lips. Max froze in his spot two feet in front of you as well. He didn't dare to turn back and look at you. And you didn't dare look up at him. Only one person calls you that.
You could feel the Dutchman turn around, silence enveloping the hall as the beating of your heart got louder and louder.
"It's me," Max tried to say quietly. He tried to reach for your cheek and pulled his hand away quickly when you put your hands on your mouth. He could see your eyes widen with shock at his confirmation.
"I'm sorry, I meant to tell you—" You couldn't hear him ramble and try to explain himself. Your brain was working too fast trying to process and correct the past.
You criticized Max Verstappen's fashion choices in front of him. You sim-raced and played games with him. You vented about your work to him. Scratch all that. Max Verstappen has been your best friend for the past two years?
You have confided in the three-time world champion. Spilt your secrets to an important man like him. You have talked about him to his face, whether it's admiring or crushing on him or cussing him out for hogging wins. You confessed how you loved him because you saw yourself in him, to his ear. You've done so many things that made you feel so embarrassed.
And when Max tries to catch you as you turn and make a run for it, he quickly gives up as the world comes crashing on him and he starts going through withdrawal again. He watches you run and stumble on your heels before turning a corner for the exit.
Anguish and grief filled Max's chest, which he gripped tightly as tears fell from his eyes and silent sobs racked his chest.
Tumblr media
proof reading credits to the amazing @classiclitfreak <3
214 notes · View notes
bunnybubae · 5 months
Text
(M)🚦Red Light: The Allure | Ch3 [JJK]
Tumblr media
👉🏻[Series Masterpost]
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (GymOwner!JK/MotoRacer!JK/Biker!JK-TattoArtist!OC)
Genre: S2L - Smut - Fluff - Angst
Summary: Jeon Jungkook never lets any distraction take him away from his motorcycle or his gym for more than one night. He just wants to speed around the track and feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins, the sex he gets thanks to his charm, is just a side dish to his life. A tough past brought him on that Ducati that he learned to love, a past  you’ll uncover, as you slowly seep in under his skin. It’s a hell of a ride, in all senses, as you try to escape your own hell in the meanwhile.  Where will this ride bring you? Will it be worth it in the end?
Chapter Warnings: mention of the toxic ex (again, unfortunately), still a lot of teasing and heavy flirting, JK in black CK undies yes, it is a warning, brief mention of weed,  alcohol consumption, brief thigh riding, rubbing in public environment, dry humping, oral sex (M/F receiving), praise kink, protected sex, one (1) slap on the ass, rough sex.
Wc: 11.7k
A/N: Hello there! I hope you guys still want to read this story, cause CH3 is finally out! As always, I'm sorry if there are some grammatical mistakes, english isn't my first language and I don't have a beta, so pls bear with me! 🫶🏻 Let me know what are your thoughts about the story, my box is always open! - Joy 🐰
Tumblr media
December 8th, Friday
You're glad it didn't pour down all day.
The night sky is clear and the smell of rain permeates in the air. You look through the car window covered in droplets as Hani chats with the driver.
You're too busy looking at scattered puddles on the asphalt reflecting the surrounding lights to pay attention to whatever the uber driver is saying.
The only thing troubling your mind right now is the last message you received. You had already blocked Ray's number a long time ago, but no one else would ever dream of sending you a similar message. The scumbag must have changed it.
You check your phone screen once again, almost hopeful that the content of the message is now different or even better, gone.
Unknown Number:- Have fun tn.
You tighten the coat you're wearing around your figure, as if that would be enough to make you feel safe.
Three words were enough to disgust you to the core. Well done Ray.
His intent is clear: he hopes to ruin your evening with this message, he wants you to feel out of place and you know pretty well that behind those seemingly innocent words there is much more hidden. His passive aggressive stalking exudes from every pixel of the screen. 
You wonder how he knows your plans for the evening, you hoped he had finally stopped spying on you, but clearly, this dude is unweary.
A hand suddenly rests on your shoulder, drawing your attention and making you flinch at the unexpected contact. Your thoughts must have poisoned your features judging by Hani's tone of voice, gentle and concerned.
“Y/N, are you okay?”
You mechanically put your phone back in your pocket and look at her with a hint of a smile, hoping that she doesn't notice the tornado of thoughts that swirl behind your eyes.
You don't want your worries to ruin your evening, that's exactly what that asshole would want.
Much less, you want Hani to decide it's best to take you home. It would be a defeat on all fronts.
You're going to go to this damn party and have fun. Ray has no power over you, not anymore. To let this message get under your skin would mean allowing him to manipulate you once again. You have to use it instead to do the exact opposite, to free yourself tonight and allow your wounded soul to dance.
Your face softens a little more as you manage to regain control of your thoughts.
"Yeah, it's all good. How long will it take to get there?"
Hani tells you that you'll arrive in a few minutes. She doesn't seem entirely convinced by your attempt to reassure her but you're glad she doesn't ask anything more when you start a barrage of questions about this kind of parties and the moto races.
Tae and Jungkook are waiting for you inside, she says, apparently they had to deal with some organizational issues related to tomorrow's qualifications, that's why they went earlier.
Hani is particularly thrilled, you can tell by the way she describes in as much detail as possible all the competitions and parties she's already attended. A little of her enthusiasm makes its way through you and you find yourself smiling genuinely as you listen to her.
A few minutes later, your driver parks next to the curb and once you get out of the car, you are amazed to notice the huge group of motorbikes parked in the lot next to the venue.
They're all well parked, resting under the light of the street lamps which highlights all their beautiful colors and shapes.
You reach the entrance guarded by a guy who looks like he could fold a motorbike in two. His menacing presence actually calms you further. You sigh without realizing it as your chest feels a little lighter.
Hani greets the big boy, who reciprocates, while maintaining a serious demeanor. He lets you in without even asking for documents or such, Hani is really well known by now.
The interior of the place has been well decorated for the occasion and the music is not excessively loud, the atmosphere is pleasant. You were expecting something more frenetic considering the adrenaline that motorcyclists are used to, everyone seems to be having fun but with ease instead. Which doesn't bother you at all.
Hani leads you to a small room filled with some sort of lockers to take off your coat before you could finally start your night.
It doesn't take long to find Tae, sitting at the bar, right next to the dance floor.
As you get closer, you notice that he's with a dark-haired guy and that they both seem deep in conversation.
"Here you are finally! Hoseok, Y/N, Y/N, Hoseok"
Tae gestures with his hands between you and the guy next to him. 
"You can call me Hobi!"
He says with a beautiful smile and holding out his hand.
The handshake was a bit embarrassing for you, you're no longer used to this type of introduction. Usually, the customers who come to the shop know you through Instagram or through friends, and it is easier to establish relationships which, in that circumstance, are limited to work.
"Nice to meet you, Hobi."
Tae offers everyone a round and the alcohol seems to loosen your nerves a little more.
Despite the initial awkwardness, the conversation between the four of you continues smoothly. You laugh out loud when Hobi tells an anecdote about Tae and Jungkook, you find him funny, both his way of storytelling and the emphasis he puts on details. He is definitely a sunny and extroverted guy who is able to drag anyone into conversation and put a smile on their face with his energetic ways.
Speaking of Jungkook,  you wonder where he could be, considering he was not here with them when you arrived.
Hobi continues his tell tales while Hani chuckles and Tae intervenes every now and then
"That guy over there," Hobi points behind you, "That one over there has been the champion for two years in a row!"
You turn to see where his finger is pointing only to realize that the champion he's talking about is Jungkook himself.
Tae laughs mockingly, determined to annoy you today as well, clearly. "Oh, they know each other very well!" and he exaggerates a wink.
Luckily enough, Hani seems to be on your side tonight. She elbows him on the side to shut him up but that only elicits a half-laugh from Tae.
"Yes, because I joined his gym." You respond casually, purposely ignoring Tae's innuendos.
Hobi starts waving his arm in the air trying to get Jungkook's attention from across the room.
Jungkook is talking to a couple of people, you look at him as he smiles and nods at something his interlocutors said, then he notices Hobi's attempts to call him.
He waves back and seems to want to return to the conversation with whoever is in front of him, when he notices you next to his friends.
A small smile forms on his face and his gaze remains fixed on you, almost as if he were challenging you to a staring contest. 
You decide to playfully stick your tongue out at him to which he, in response, reacts with a damn wink.
You turn around and try to douse the heat you feel by taking a large sip of your drink. The alcohol helps, but the warmth in your cheeks becomes noticeable.
Your friends continue to chat peacefully, you're relieved to see that no one has noticed this little exchange with Jungkook, with the exception of Hani of course, her smile speaks clearly.
You try to focus on Tae and Hobi's talk, but they're talking about some modifications their mechanics made to their bikes for the race, details too mechanical for your alcohol-clouded mind.
Hani's smile is different now when you look at her, and the tilt of her head confuses you further.
"Here he is, the champion graces us with his presence!"
Hobi says all of a sudden.
You realize that Hani was trying to let you know that Jungkook was on his way.
He stops next to you and it's strange to meet him in a context other than the gym. You felt more or less the same feeling when he gave you that lift that evening, but now you have the opportunity to see another aspect of his person and the way he is dressed is proof of that.
Jungkook seems like an outgoing and sociable guy when it comes to training his members at the gym. As you watch him now though, he seems slightly embarrassed, keeping his hands inside the pockets of his baggy jeans.
Tae takes Jungkook's arm as he responds to Hobi's statement "Technically, I'm not the champion yet."
“Will you let us win any races this year?” Tae asks in a teasing tone.
Jungkook tries to free himself from Tae's grip by pinching his side. "Ouch." Tae chuckles, placing a hand on the pinched spot, while Jungkook rearranges his hair, moving it away from his face.
"It's not my fault that Ducky is the fastest bike on the track."
"Ducky?"
You ask out of curiosity, before you even realize.
Tae and Hobi start giggling in the background as Jungkook's gaze falls on you. He appears surprised by the question, as if he thought you knew. Then, he seems to remember that he never spoke about his bike nor his races with you and his expression changes.
"My Ducati." he replies, playing with his piercing, a habit you think comes when he's pondering or embarrassed.
"Did you give your bike a name?"
Jungkook tells you that many people give their bikes a nickname, explaining that the reason he chose Ducky it's due to the similar sound with Ducati.
You smile in recognition that Jungkook definitely looks like an intimidating and strong guy, but that you became aware of a more thoughtful and playful part of him starting from the night he brought you home on his motorbike. Even this small detail about the moto's name fits perfectly with the Jungkook that you got to know till now.
An interesting mix that is also reflected in the ducati he rides.
“It's cute, I think it suits her!” You chuckle softly.
You notice something in Jungkook's eyes, but it doesn't last long due to Tae's comment.
"No please, don't tell me that you also think it's a suitable name for a motorbike!"
Tae babbles distraught, while Hobi laughs loudly, shaking his head.
"Look who's talkin, the one who called his bike Sonic!"
Jungkook huffs mockingly, rolling his eyes. 
The bickering that takes place in front of you makes you laugh lightly, Hani and Hobi join you as Tae fiercely retorts.
"At least it's related! And it's blue like Sonic! Your bike is not even yellow!"
“Wow bro, so original!”
Jungkook pretends to be overly impressed by his friend's explanation. Tae gulps down the last sip of beer while he wraps his arm around Hani.
"And by the way, have you ever seen a duck run? Those tiny little things are pretty fast!" Jungkook concludes.
At this, even Tae bursts out laughing, almost spitting out the beer from his nose. Everyone has seen at least once in their lifetime a video about little ducks chasing their mother or caregiver. Jungkook evidently emerges victorious from the argument, he chuckles along with all of you and the moment couldn't be more wholesome than this, you think.
Tumblr media
The evening unfolds like this, next to the bar, with laughter and some small bickering between the three guys. You notice from time to time that Jungkook's eyes wander towards you while he speaks and he catches you looking at him sometimes as well.
The alcohol in your system definitely doesn't help make it any less evident.
"Another round? It's on me this time." Hobi shakes his empty beer, starting to move towards the bar when Jungkook stops him by placing a hand on his shoulder
"Just a coke for me, please."
Hobi nods as he appears to reply something like, "I know" before smiling tight-lipped at him.
You watch Jungkook's profile the entire time as he smiles back at Hobi before letting him walk towards the bar.
He looks like one of those smiles that takes over his lips when you catch his mind wandering, back at the gym.
A light smile that seems to hide something more.
When Jungkook turns back to bring his attention back to the conversation in progress, your eyes meet for the umpteenth time and his weak smile widens into a smirk.
He leans towards you slightly, while Tae and Hani continue to discuss something you don't quite listen to and his face gets dangerously close to yours.
“Are you going to keep looking at me all night?”
Jungkook speaks close to your ear, he doesn't whisper but he still makes sure you're the only one to hear him.
The sudden closeness of his body allows your nostrils to immediately capture his scent, the one you've had on you thanks to his motorcycle jacket and as the memory of that evening returns to your slightly alcohol-influenced mind, you smile mischievously.
“How can you say I'm looking at you all the time?”
Jungkook shifts his head slightly so he can look at you better as he says
"Because every time I look at you your eyes are already looking at me,"
You sigh, his voice far too calm to cause such turmoil within you. You try to ignore his usual attempt to make you blush, failing miserably when he continues, “You look like you want something.”
This man right here, damn. He knows, you know he knows the effect he has on you. It's clear.
You feel hotter but you manage to retort.
"And what about you? Why are you looking at me so often?"
The liquid courage you have in your body is enough to make you ask straight away, basking in the feeling of his body so close to yours.
Jungkook's eyes watch you intently and a gleam of amusement adorns his deep irises.
He moistens his lips and the movement of his tongue doesn't escape your gaze, but right as he is about to answer your question, Hobi returns, but empty-handed.
“Sorry guys,” Hobi interjects, his face darkened with worry compared to earlier. "Some problem came up with the registration documents and they asked me to help check." He says hastily as he apologizes once again.
Tae offers to go with him and solve the problem at hand but Hobi shakes his head,
"There is no need, I don't want you to ruin your night with bureaucratic bullshit. See you on the track tomorrow! It was nice meeting you Y/N!
"Pleasure is mine Hobi!"
You reply, giving him a smile.
As you watch him go, you realize that you have just met this boy, and yet you feel that you have made the acquaintance of a genuinely beautiful person.
It's so rare nowadays.
“So guys,” Hani exclaims loudly, catching everyone's attention.
"Tae and I are planning a relaxing ride next Sunday."
Jungkook nods.
"Where were you guys thinking of going?"
You watch your friends discuss the details of the itinerary and realize that you're actually considered part of the trip only when you notice that at the idea of the four of you going on a ride together, Jungkook seems relaxed, almost as if it were obvious to take you around on his beloved Ducky. Maybe your mind is wandering a little too much, but it makes you blush a little.
“It can be done, as long as Y/N agrees.”
The pronunciation of your name draws your attention, refocusing you on the group.
"Mh?
"I said if you feel like getting the necessary moto gear, we can go."
Jungkook repeats, Hani and Tae are looking at you as you try to seriously focus on organizing the aforementioned ride.
"Yes, no problem, but I don't know where to buy what I need."
"I'll take you to the store where I bought mine!"
Hani exclaims with a smile.
“I can get you some gloves but as far as helmet and jacket, make sure you get stuff that's the right size for you.”
You shake your head, saying that you will take care of getting everything you need with Hani.
"Oh, yeah I forgot how small your hands are, it's definitely better if you try them on at the store."
Jungkook evidently can never stop himself from teasing you.
His comment causes a mischievous smile on Tae's face and a very satisfied one on Jungkook's.
Hani purses her lips, trying to hold back a laugh, or whatever she was about to say.
Your eyes roll in mock annoyance as you playfully push Jungkook.
"Okay, it's decided then!"
States Hani, who sports a satisfied smile as she continues, “Oh, I forgot something in the car! Come on Tae.”
She grabs Tae's hand and before you can even point it out, he anticipates you by saying, "But you came in an Uber!"
Hani glares at him, "Just come."
Jungkook laughs, shaking his head at the obvious attempt to leave you two alone, while you watch them go in disbelief and slight embarrassment. You want to curse her, but you know it's what you really want too. You want time alone with him, you want to take advantage of the courage you feel inside this evening to understand a little more this tattooed and lip-pierced mystery.
Tumblr media
The dance floor is full and you can no longer see the bartender behind the bar due to how many people are waiting to receive their drinks.
You don't even remember the last time you attended a party like this, the only thing that comes to mind when you think about it is Ray almost causing a fight with a guy who mistook you for his friend, the fight that came of it once you left the party and the tears you shed because of his sharp words, is the only memory of that last party you attended.
You return your gaze to Jungkook as anger and sadness from past events threaten to make their way onto your face.
There is no need to dwell on the past, past parties are in the past, Ray is not here and nothing stops you from enjoying the evening and putting off your worries about your ex and his passive aggressive messages until tomorrow.
Jungkook watches the dancing crowd, moving his head to the beat of the music as he's leaning against the wall.
You admire him so much, he always seems to have everything under control, no matter the shadow that darkens his face every now and then, he seems to always manage to return to reality and enjoy the little things.
"Want to dance?" You don't give your shyness time to reconsider the invitation that the words have already left your mouth. You hold out your hand as you invite him to join you. 
He looks at your hand briefly before replying with a soft smile, “Why not.” and join his hand to yours.
You clasp your hand around his and lead him through the crowd.
You feel boldness fill you, you hadn't even considered the possibility that he might refuse and happy that he didn't, you reach a spot that isn't too crowded, the volume of the music is louder here and you feel the effect on your skin as your heart follows its own rhythm.
Thanks to what you drank and the need to let yourself go at least for tonight, you let your body feel the music.
His movements are loose and yours adapt to his almost immediately. Jungkook watches you the entire time, paying attention to every movement of your body, as if he wants to imprint them in his mind for later.
When you look up and meet his gaze, this time you hold it, smiling mischievously before turning your back on him.
You continue to dance filled with a wave of audacity, your every movement is seductive for him, who can't take his eyes off of you.
The line of your back is far too attractive to keep at a distance so, all of a sudden, you feel Jungkook's body move closer to yours.
The closeness causes a leap in your chest, but what he says is the cause of the heightened blush on your face.
You feel like your cheeks are perpetually burning because of him.
"What happened to the super shy girl who showed up at the gym a while ago?"
His voice is almost a whisper as you feel his face close to your ear.
You tilt your head back, resting it on his shoulder before answering confidently.
"She has learned to dare more." and with that, you decide to lean against his body completely.
Fuck shyness, fuck fears and comfort zones. If tomorrow you have to deal with the consequences of Ray's reappearance, you want to enjoy this one night to the fullest.
You hear Jungkook chuckle softly as a tentative hand finds its place on your hip.
He caresses you flat and softly from your hip up, his palm just grazing the edge of your bra as you wonder what it might be like without your clothes in between.
"It's clear that you're not that shy tonight, either."
You retort as you roll your hips against his. You feel his hand get slightly heavier on your hip as he presses you gently until your body is completely attached to his.
His other hand reaches for your shoulder and brushes your hair away to reveal your neck.
The gesture causes heat in your lower abdomen, you swallow unconsciously at the unexpected reaction of your body. Maybe it's been too long since someone touched you like this or maybe it's the power that Jeon Jungkook has over your body now, but you feel that at this rate you run the risk of melting in his arms.
“What makes you say that, princess?”
His breath tickles you as he whispers the words directly into your skin. His lips don't even touch you once and you wish they would.
You push your hips against his a little more as you continue to move languidly. His fingers mindlessly caress the curve of your neck and you close your eyes as you enjoy the feeling.
“The way you're touching me now.”
You reply in a small voice as your hand reaches for the one resting on your hip,
you hold it as if it might disappear if you don't.
You shiver slightly when his hot breath teases the thin skin of your exposed neck again and the grip of his hand under yours grows more and more.
“I can do more and better, wouldn't you like that?”
You feel the effect of your movements directly against your butt and it gives you even more confidence.
You feel completely intoxicated by his touch, nothing to do with the alcohol that undoubtedly contributed to you finding yourself in this situation, everything you are feeling now is the work of his touch, of his body against yours and of his words.
You're dying to fuck him, to feel his hands all over your naked body as he whispers dirty things in your ear. But at the same time you don't want this to ruin your friendship, you don't want there to be misunderstandings between you. You can always enjoy the pleasures of sex without unnecessary feelings being involved, right?
You don't feel ready yet and you hope Jungkook is of the same opinion as you, that he also wants to have sex with you without strings attached.
You spin around and your hands rest on his broad shoulders. You look at him for a moment, his eyes dark and full of longing as you whisper in his ear, "As long as it's the only thing you want too."
When you look back at him to decipher his reaction, you notice that Jungkook initially seems surprised by your statement, then a pleased smile forms on his plump lips and his hands suddenly become bolder, moving down from your hips to the small of your back. You barely hold back a moan when you feel the hardness of his member and the firmness of his hands on you.
Jungkook holds you close and you don't know when exactly your bodies stopped following the rhythm of the music. He firmly squeezes one of your buttock while you caress the locks of his nape.
You watch him move closer to your neck once again and this time, you feel his wet lips brush against you just below your ear.
"Are you really the first girl I don't have to give the usual speech to? Am I dreaming?"
His deep voice reaches the parts of your body that you never thought would be affected by a simple voice.
"What speech?" You sigh when you feel his hands move up your back.
"The one that makes my intentions clear."
Jungkook looks back at you, as if wanting to make sure he hasn't misunderstood anything.
"It seems we want the same thing, then."
You state in a rush, feeling the places he touches completely on fire.
"Do we?"
Jungkook tilts his head slightly as he holds you impossibly tighter. You feel completely enveloped by the warmth of his body when his thigh slides and finds its place between your legs.
A soft moan escapes your lips and it seems to trigger something in him, you hear him breathe deeply before asking in a low voice.
“What do you want, Y/N?”
From the tone of his voice it is clear that he knows what you want, he simply wants you to confess it freely.
His thigh twitches between your legs, rubbing just right against the place you want it the most.
You follow its movements, completely enraptured by the sensations you are experiencing.
There is no room for shame right now in your mind clouded by the burning desire for him.
The only thing you can think about is his leg repeatedly teasing your clit and the caresses of his hands along your back.
Your hands tremble slightly with pleasure as they involuntarily grasp the strands falling at the nape of his neck.
Jungkook hisses through his teeth but doesn't resist, in fact he seems to like this little gesture from you.
You look at him for a moment and his adam's apple is so inviting that you can't resist the temptation.
You move his head to the side to get more access and lick the surface up to his jaw.
You would continue to enjoy this lewd moment as long as it lasted.
You thought you would tease each other for a while and then go back to your friends, but no.
Jungkook is just as involved as you are.
The groan that vibrates in his throat reached a part of your brain that is now completely short-circuited.
"I want to fuck you."
The words come out with frightening ease and are enough to make Jungkook look back at you through lidded eyes.
“And I don't want anything more than that.”
You know you're not ready to take that leap, but the uncertainty hidden in your voice reaches somewhere in your chest.
It hurts something when you watch him smile widely at your latest statement.
A fleeting pain, overtaken by the strong desire caused by the hardness of his member, throbbing against your thigh.
“Yeah, we definitely want the exact same thing.”
It was already quite clear, but hearing you say it is something else.
Jungkook moves away from you, leaving your body to the cold void his hands left. 
Then, he grabs your hand, leading you past the crowd and towards the other side of the place.
You look around, convinced he wants to take you to the bathrooms, but you realize that with every step you take, you are getting closer to the locker's room.
"Where are we going?"
You ask loudly, as Jungkook continues his zig zag through the people holding your hand.
"At my place." he answers.
“I thought you wanted to do it in the bathroom, haven't you been drinking?”
You know that driving under the influence of alcohol is a terrible idea.
Jungkook stops in his tracks for a moment noticing your hesitation in continuing and you hear him chuckle before answering.
"I shared a joint before," he looks into your eyes, as you inspect them, "And then, you saw me drinking a cola, I don't drink alcohol."
Jungkook continues to look at you, though his eyes avoid yours now, lingering on your lips.
You want to ask him more but before you can, he leans in close to you to whisper, making your legs tremble in anticipation.
“Besides, why would I take you to a public bathroom when I can make you scream in the comfort of my own bed?”
He knows all too well that he has the upper hand and is taking advantage of it.
Damn Jeon Jungkook and the effect he has on you.
The heat spreads again in your belly and when you look at him you just want to bite that plump lip, tease his piercing and let that mocking smile get lost in moans of pleasure.
“Or maybe you feel more comfortable doing it at yours?”
His tone of voice lacks malice this time, after all, you have now understood that Jungkook is a caring person and therefore he wants to avoid making you feel uncomfortable.
You nod and smile at his consideration.
"At mine."
Jungkook tightens his hand around yours again, smirking.
You quickly reach the exit after collecting your things from the lockers.
And there she is, Ducky.
You will climb on her for the second time, soon there will even be a third, you can't help but smile at the thought.
Strange how different reasons are leading you to get on a motorbike so often, not that this is a complaint, far from it.
You tremble at the thought of experiencing certain sensations once again, this time even, with the prospect of sleeping with Jungkook.
He invites you to wear his gear once again, but you strenuously refuse to deprive him of his jacket this time. Even though he was annoyed at first, Jungkook had to give in to your determination.
December cold is unforgiving.
In order to compromise, you wear his helmet, unable to argue with its importance.
You reach your apartment complex after a while, Jungkook was driving the entire time at a speed well under the legal limit, allowing you to hug his body to shield yourself from the cold as much as possible.
Once you reach the building's underground parking lot, you get off Ducky and take off the helmet to hand it to him. You smile brightly and hear Jungkook chuckle to himself as he shakes his head.
"You really like to ride, huh?"
You look at him while he's fixing his disheveled hair and it's a vision that you didn't think could affect you so much.
You think Jungkook would look sexy even wearing a battered potato sack, but seeing him in these clothes, you think, will always turn you on.
“Oh trust me, I love riding Ducky, but I can't wait to ride you.”
You haven't felt this lustful for someone in a while.
Surely the drinks you had before are not supporting you to keep certain thoughts to yourself.
Jungkook sighs visibly impressed by your bluntness and you could swear you heard him curse.
"Can't wait for you to show me."
Tumblr media
Seeing Jungkook now, in the flesh, inside your apartment is something.
You watch as he places his helmet near the entrance door and places his jacket on top of it before taking off his shoes.
As you do the same, taking off your coat and shoes to put them away, he looks around, taking in the appearance of your apartment. 
The foyer is small but well arranged, with a large mirror and a shoe rack right beside it.
You lead the way to reach your couch in the living room and as you walk, his eyes land on some of your latest sketches scattered around on a counter, one of it appears to be a pair of boxing gloves and he finds himself chuckling like an idiot.
As you do the same, taking off your coat and shoes to put them away, he looks around, taking in the appearance of your apartment. 
The foyer is small but well arranged, with a large mirror and a shoe rack right beside it and the little hallway that connects your entrance to your living area is decorated with pictures, plants and some of your favorite sketches.
You lead the way to reach your couch in the living room and as he walks behind you, his eyes land on some of your latest sketches scattered around on the counter of your kitchen, one of it appears to be a pair of boxing gloves and he finds himself chuckling like an idiot.
"Why are you laughing?"
You're puzzled by his sudden reaction. 
"I like your apartment, it fits your vibe."
He answers quietly and you smile shyly in appreciation, suggesting him to make himself comfortable on the couch.
"Want something to drink?
 You ask him, walking behind the counter to reach your fridge.
"Just water, thanks." 
He replies as he sits comfortably. You get some fresh water and when you get back you offer him the glass.
Jungkook sips from it and you join him on the couch.
Your heart always beats so fast in his presence that by now you're almost getting used to the constant hustle and bustle in your chest.
"You really don't like alcohol."
You say lightheartedly as you gather your legs up on the couch and turn to face him.
You curse your damn mouth when you realize that your comment made Jungkook tense up.
You just wanted to make him feel comfortable but before you can think of something to recover, Jungkook takes another sip of water before replying in a low voice.
"Yeah. I prefer weed, even though I rarely smoke anymore."
His eyes look at you for a brief moment, dark as pitch or a moonless sky.
They then move to the coffee table in front of you to put the glass down.
"I'd say you don't need it anyway. You don't need it to boost your confidence, like me."
Something moves in his eyes when you say this. His hand on your thigh pulls your attention away.
You watch it as it lays on your thigh softly. 
The tone of his voice, his firm aversion to alcohol and his troubled eyes makes you ponder, but you can't formulate any sentence that doesn't risk making him even more gloomy.
Jungkook taught you many things in the gym, undoubtedly to throw good punches, but also to have courage in general, to dare and not to let fears stop you.
He was able to free that part of you that you have always adored, the one that made you achieve your most ambitious goals, despite having to sacrifice a healthy relationship with your family.
And he was able to get you there, easily, without even having to tell you openly what to do.
Despite his tacit support helped you regain a little confidence, you feel like he doesn't need the same. Like he needs you to voice your thoughts with him, even if it's not always as easy as after a few drinks on your system. 
You've always sensed that something keeps him anchored to a remote island in the back of his mind and you don't want him to take refuge there right now.
"You are right,"
Your voice is sweet, it matches his from earlier and with one movement you lift yourself, moving one leg to take it beyond his.
You sit on his thighs and place your hands gently on his shoulders.
Jungkook looks at you smugly and pleasantly surprised and you're happy to notice that island receding in the mirror of his eyes.
They slowly fill with lust for you, as they observe your body so close to his.
“Even though I drank a little, I'm sober enough to say that everything I did tonight, I've always wanted to do.”
Jungkook feels the weight of your body and the weight of your words right on his.
You're sitting directly on his growing member and his hands find their place on your hips as he pulls you closer.
“Wait until you see what I've always wanted to do to you.”
With that, his mouth takes over your neck.
He tastes your skin like he's finally testing a drop of water after a walk in the desert and you're the only source he wants to put his mouth on.
You moan as you tilt your head to let him taste you as he pleases.
Jungkook takes the opportunity to bite you a little, leaving a small blush on your skin and licking it to soothe the stinging spot.
You try to control yourself as his hands venture up your back.
“You have a condom on you?” You whisper all of a sudden.
Jungkook keeps kissing your neck, hesitantly moving one hand from your body only to pull a condom out of his back pocket.
He hands it to you and then grabs the hem of your sweater, stopping his assault to help you take it off. A shiver runs up your spine, realizing you're now in your bra in front of him, the cool air of the room brushes against your hot skin and his hands promptly return to your hips and back.
You squeeze the little silver package between your fingers as he pulls your body against him, your hips move almost automatically as you feel his member getting harder and harder. And in return you get wetter and wetter.
You're a complete mess in his arms as you buck your hips, panting slightly at every movement.
When his hands press you more against him, a loud moan leaves your lips and with it, the last bit of restraint you had.
You grab the hem of his sweatshirt, urgently undressing him.
"Someone is impatient." He chuckles breathlessly as he lets you undress him.
"Your fault." You reply as you move to undo his jeans.
"Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?"
The aroused expression on your face is something he hopes to keep in mind for as long as possible.
You drop down to help him take off his jeans completely and Jungkook remains in his black Calvin Klein briefs. The outline of his hard member held with difficulty in the confines of the fabric, making you salivate at its sight.
You stand up and take the opportunity to remove your pants in front of him, while his gaze is glued to you.
If his eyes could touch, you would feel their stroke everywhere right now, like a dry brush on a virgin canvas.
They eagerly study every single curve, every movement you do is carefully followed as you reveal your panties and legs to him.
“You're so hot Y/N…”
You hear him breathing heavily and only after adding your pants to the pile of clothes do you turn back to look him in the eyes.
He's touching himself through his underwear at the sight of your body and despite everything that already happened, you're still blushing.
You are engulfed in the flames of pleasure, yet the blush on your cheeks is caused by something deeper.
You ignore this thought immediately, setting aside that thing that tries to push to make itself some space and focus on the need that screams between your legs instead.
You climb on top of him again, leaning on his shoulders.
"Jungkook,"
You whisper in his ear, looking him in the eyes right now would mean exposing yourself too much, paradoxically.
What a strange contradiction though.
You're already almost completely naked in front of him, but the idea of letting him look you in the eyes while you say the next words makes you feel too vulnerable.
"If we do this, I want us to agree on a few things."
As you try to regain your courage, you lick his neck, moving down towards his collarbone to reach his pectorals.
"I'm listening."
He sighs as he lets his head go back, as if wanting to give you total access to him, basking in the feelings your tongue is giving.
Jungkook is completely engrossed, he seems to enjoy every little thing without thinking too much while you're struggling to let yourself go completely.
The friendship that has developed between you over these months is something you care about and you wouldn't want to ruin it for simple sex.
Even if you're dying to enjoy these moments you've been craving, you're afraid of ruining everything.
"We're just friends who are going to fuck, right?"
You ask tentatively as you continue to leave a trail of saliva with your tongue and lips across his toned chest.
"No awkwardness after."
You're not sure why you're saying this when you can't even look him in the eyes right now, but at the same time you're saying it precisely to not let your fear stop you.
Maybe you're just trying to convince yourself that nothing will change and that you can let yourself go, or just to make sure you both are still on the same page, but Jungkook doesn't seem to notice your inner conflict right now, too distracted by your ministrations probably.
"This is not going to ruin our friendship if that's what you're worried about."
He states between breaths as he wraps a hand in the middle of your hair.
“The fact that we both know what we want from each other and what we don't, won't cause any problems, don't you think?”
He pulls your hair slightly to expose your neck, and you close your eyes unconsciously when you feel his lips on your skin once again.
"No awkwardness after."
His whisper makes you shiver with pleasure and almost as if you needed to have this confirmation from him, you open your eyes and move to finally be able to lower his underwear.
His penis rises free from the confines and you are a little surprised at the size. He throbs in front of you with the tip red and moist as you observe the succulent veins adorning its surface.
"So we're gonna be ride buddies and friends who fucked once."
Jungkook holds his legs open as you get on your knees in front of him to pull his briefs completely off.
"Let's see if you still want it to be once after I fuck you just right."
You smile sensing Jungkook's usual way of doing things, his classic way of provoking you while he smiles with confidence.
"Bold are we?"
You snicker as you pump your little fist around his shaft a couple of times.
He hisses.
"You've got the lead for now, wait and see when it's my turn."
He says through gritted teeth as he clearly tries not to give in to your touch too shamefully.
"We'll see."
You move closer, gently placing your lips on the side of his cock as you continue to move your hand slowly.
The intense teasing served to make him super responsive.
Jungkook squirms a little when you carefully spread his precum on the sensitive tip.
You hear as he tries to limit his sounds.
You look up momentarily when your mouth finally settles around his moistened tip, only to see his reaction.
Jungkook instinctively brings his head back and his mouth opens in a silent moan of pleasure.
He sighs heavily as his hands grip the fabric of the couch he's sitting on.
The vision of his naked body exposed to your will causes a shiver down your spine and with your free hand you move down until you reach the most sensitive part of your body.
You give yourself pleasure as you move your mouth and hand finding a rhythm that could be pleasant for him.
You listen carefully for any reaction that might let you know that you are doing the right thing as you keep your eyes closed, completely letting yourself go to the small sounds he makes.
When you twist your wrist slightly and let go of his cock with a pop to catch your breath, Jungkook lets out a throaty moan and he is breathing noticeably faster now.
You're so wet now that you think he could fit inside you without too much effort, you continue to tease your clit while jerking him off at the same speed.
You leave a trail of little kisses along his member, from the tip to the balls.
You look at him again and unexpectedly meet his gaze.
You feel your confidence waver for the briefest of moments when you notice his eyes looking at you intently.
His pierced lip is caught between his teeth as he breathes deeply through his nose.
He's trying in every way possible to block any sound that might come from his mouth and it's almost annoying to notice the effort he puts into it.
"Let me hear."
You say softly between small kisses.
“I want to know if I'm doing well or not.”
You tickle with your wet tongue from bottom to top, once again reaching the sensitive tip.
His cock throbs in your hand and you smirk satisfied.
You don't need to hear his moans to know that he's completely into it, but you still want to hear them because of you, it's almost a visceral need at this point.
"You're doing great,"
He responds in a deep voice.
He moves the hair that has fallen in front of your eyes with a finger as he tries to steady his breathing.
A soft gesture that makes your heart skip a beat, but you keep your focus on your movements.
Your hands continue to move in unison as you moan, kissing and licking his cock. You purposely avoid taking him fully into your mouth, teasing him every now and then when you feel the sounds getting stuck in his throat.
You feel pervaded by the power that these circumstances can give.
Jungkook watches you the whole time as you work on him and yourself.
He evidently noticed the effect his words had on you, his little praise gave you more confidence, allowing you to let go a little more.
Jungkook suddenly stops you by placing a hand on your shoulder just when you thought he was enjoying it a lot, or at least it seemed like that from his persistent and muffled groaning.
“Y/N, let me taste you please..”
You hear the desperation in his voice and you can see it in his face when you lean up to look at him, a little bit of saliva wetting your chin.
His eyes are completely dark, full of the longing that you know he can see in your eyes too.
He moves to stand up, forcing you back onto your feet before picking you up.
You yelp at the sudden motion, holding onto his neck for support as he helps you wrap your legs around his hips.
“Where is your bedroom?”
Jungkook asks as he latches onto your already battered neck.
"Down the hallway, second door on the right."
In no time, Jungkook transports you following your directions. He pushes the door open with his foot before entering and letting you lie on your soft bed.
He watches you bounce once on it, then looks you up and down with an unreadable look.
Being in your apartment, on your bed, almost completely naked in front of him, definitely makes you bolder, feeling more comfortable.
You just realized how far you've gone with him, that you can't go back now.
Not that you want to, honestly.
You observe him, majestic in front of you, the faint glow of the moon that leaks into the room illuminates his skin deliciously, accentuating every muscle of his toned body.
Your eyes do their best to capture every detail and imprint it in your memory.
Jungkook bends over you, caging your legs with his powerful arms.
You remain propped up on your forearms as your breathing becomes increasingly labored.
His hands rest at your sides and with a firm but delicate movement, he pulls you towards him.
He bends down to let his tongue leave a wet trail across your belly, to the edge of your panties.
The passage of his mouth so close to your core, feeds the fire in your belly.
"Can I?"
He asks softly as his thumbs hook your panties on both sides.
He looks at you, patiently waiting for your permission.
Or your refusal.
You see a hint of hesitation in his gaze, as if he doesn't want to go any further against your will.
You can feel this small detail slowly infiltrating under your skin. You feel it brings to the light something that you would have preferred to remain in the dark, especially in this moment.
Ray.
Why did he always assumed he could take everything without ever asking?
Why doesn't Jungkook take without asking?
These are questions you can't answer. Deep down you know you don't want them, that answers would only cause you more pain.
You swallow, trying to shut off the bitter taste of the past.
"Please…"
You can't say anything else, you whisper this simple word that encompasses everything you're feeling right now.
Please do it.
Please make me forget all the bad things for tonight.
Please take me.
His eyes light up and his skilled hands easily remove the fabric that covered your most intimate part.
Only now you do realize how uncomfortable and annoying the wet fabric you were wearing was.
You feel the cool air hit the moist and hot skin of your pussy and you sigh when his hands return to you after leaving the newly removed garment somewhere on the floor.
He gently places his hands on your thighs, spreading them just enough so he can observe your dripping wet pussy.
Seeing the glisten of your juices makes his blood burn in his veins.
You gasp when his soft lips lay on your clit.
Jungkook is humming delightedly, then he starts to kiss it with delicacy, allowing you to adapt to the stimulus while he lets his tongue tease you slowly.
You close your eyes and try to relax your legs.
His lips are more insistent, until he ends up making out with your soft wet pussy.
You can't hold back your moans and you lie down completely on the bed as you let him eat you out.
Just as you had done earlier, he maintains a slow but precise pace, as if he wants to take revenge for all the teasing and savor your flavor at the same time.
Unlike his, your moans follow one another and you can't stop yourself.
They gradually become stronger and more intense as Jungkook continues to make out with your pussy.
He holds your hips, soothing the skin right beneath his thumbs with circular motions.
It's a sensation you've never felt before, you feel your orgasm building slowly, so slowly that you almost think you'll lose it at any moment, only to change your mind when with precise movements you feel the pleasure accumulating, like waves that add to each other. One after another, before reaching the coast in one large, powerful wave.
He moves his tongue with a constant rhythm and when with a faint voice you warn him that you are about to come, surprisingly enough, Jungkook maintains the same rhythm, he doesn't speed up, he doesn't press his tongue more forcefully against your already very sensitive clit.
With pleasant surprise, you notice that he keeps this pace and it is clear that he knows what he is doing.
He doesn't go crazy trying to catch it, when he already knows where and how to find it.
The only difference is the intensity with which he makes out with your pussy, kissing and licking it passionately, drunk on your juices.
You moan louder as your body tenses more and more like a violin string, until with a delicate but firm movement of his tongue, your orgasm hits you violently.
With his gentle and precise gestures, you didn't expect such an intense and violent orgasm, your body writhes in ecstasy while a string of profanities and panting breaths leave your lips.
Your legs try to close as they tremble from the stimulation, but Jungkook firmly separates them again, enjoying the taste of you for a little longer. You hear him groan and at a quick glance you notice his frowning expression.
You whine from the overstimulation and it's the only signal that seems to stop him.
He pulls off while still remaining in front of your throbbing and swollen pussy and his labored breathing tickles you gently.
“Sorry,” he states, licking his shiny lips for a moment. “You taste so sweet I couldn't stop.”
You look at him while you feel a constant pounding in your chest and your breathing doesn't want to calm down.
His hair is disheveled, his cheeks are flushed and his eyebrows are still a little furrowed.
You prop yourself up on your elbows again, one hand reaching for his hair, letting it sink into its messy locks, as if wanting to tidy them up a bit.
"I wanna ride you now."
You state decisively and perhaps a little too pretentious, you add,
"Can I?"
Jungkook looks at you as he stands up, offers you a hand while you observe him in all his beauty, naked and with his erect member that you can't wait to welcome inside you.
Tonight you got to immortalize every detail of his body in your memory.
His totally tattooed arm, his sculpted body and his face, at times so sweet that you couldn't believe it is capable of contorting into those expressions of pleasure that you saw earlier.
You accept his hand and let him pull you onto him while he says "How can I say no when you ask it so nicely."
You smile mischievously and take the opportunity to accompany him, pushing him by the shoulders onto your bed.
Jungkook takes place where you were laying, he sinks into your sheets as he settles in.
You reach him with your legs still shaking and climb up until you're almost sitting on his thighs.
You pick up the condom that you had previously abandoned on the bed next to you, but before you can open it to let him put it on, you can't resist the temptation to put your mouth back on his inviting cock.
You give a provocative lick, spreading your saliva all over the surface you trace and you understand how much he too wants to finally be able to feel you when his hips suddenly move upwards.
"Fuck-"
You continue to lick slowly for a few moments while you stimulate him a little with your hand.
When you look at him, he's already looking at you and it doesn't surprise you, his mouth is slightly open as he tries to regulate his breathing.
He looks so sexy right now, you can see in his expression the immense heat burning in his irises. The need he feels to possess you.
"Stop teasing me."
His voice is strained and his face speaks clearly: if you continue like this he won't resist much longer, he can't wait to see you jump on his cock.
The mere look in his eyes makes you clench your walls in anticipation and with a little effort you finally get him to wear the condom.
You move to finally be able to position yourself on his erect member and begin to lower yourself. A shiver runs through your limbs, the small tingling you feel as he penetrates you is almost immediately replaced by pleasure.
Jungkook is big, but you're so wet that he can slide inside you with ease.
You support yourself with your hands on his chest as you close your eyes to fully enjoy the sensations you're feeling. You continue to move down until you are completely seated on him. You feel full, his hands resting on your hips and squeezing you lightly.
When you reopen your eyes, you look at him and get lost for an infinite moment in front of what you see.
Jungkook looks at you through eyes half closed in pleasure, he's been looking at you the entire time, as if the scene in front of him is the key to understanding the entire movie.
If memory had any capacity, this moment would take up most of the space in Jungkook's mind for a long time to come.
After a few moments, you feel like you've gotten used to his girth and can finally move up and down.
Despite your legs still shaking from your previous orgasm, you manage to move at an increasing pace.
You moan without caring about the sounds you make, music to Jungkook's ears as he lets you do what you want with him, accompanying your movements with his hands.
You move messily as your legs start losing strength. You alternate your motions by rubbing your clit on him, moaning loudly when you feel your little sensitive nub stimulated like this and the squelching sound of your pussy fills the room. 
Jungkook hastily moves his hands behind your back, pulling at your bra to unclasp it. He doesn't take it off of you completely though, finding it more sexy the way he jumps up and down following your movements. 
"Fuck yes.."
He groans as he watches hypnotized your breasts bouncing out of your bra.
Then he tilts his head back onto your pillow as his arms flex with the motions of your body.
You bounce on his cock the best you can, tracing the side of his throat with your thumb, right above a little red spot you sucked on his skin.
The vision is enchanting.
The sounds he makes, addicting.
You're breathless, the muscles of your legs are burning from the effort but you keep bouncing and humping as you feel you're close to the second orgasm of the night.
"I-I'm clo-"
You're so close to the point of no return but suddenly, your legs are failing you and just like that, you tiredly collapse on his body.
Jungkook is quick to react, grabbing your hips tight enough to support you and adjust his position under you as he starts to thrust up.
Your moans are broken by every thrust as he diligently hammers your pussy up just right.
"You're so hot Y/N. So fucking hot."
He groans softly, pulling you impossibly closer.
You feel strange, like you're burning alive and flying at the same time.
You comfortably lay on his body as you let him lead you to the peak of your pleasure, licking and kissing his neck and ear lobe in the meantime.
"Fuck yes- yes!"
You moan his name as the fire explodes all of a sudden and the extreme pleasure you've built till now, crushes hard on you. And just like that, you feel your legs shake and your head light like a leaf blown by a gentle breeze.
Jungkook's thrusts slow down a little, milking your orgasm slowly till the very end. He only stops when you start whimpering, knowing you're probably super sensitive right now.
He pulls out and you whine to the feeling of emptiness, your walls slightly pulsing as you already miss the sensation of his cock deep inside of you.
"Are you ok?"
He asks you as he tries to stabilize his breathing.
Your body is still glued to his, your breathing is as ragged as his and you let the beating sound of his heart soothe you for a moment longer before you nod.
You slowly get up hissing a little and you look at him.
"Cum on me."
There's no longer space for filters and your brain is so fucked out that it doesn't even care how needy you sound right now. Even after your two orgasms. 
You're craving his touch, his sinful sounds, and you wanna know what it feels like to have his cum on your skin.
He smiles amused, chuckling a little.
"Yeah? And where do you want me to cum?"
His voice is husky and you feel your body reacting to that.
You buck your hips on his cock, blocking it between you and his stomach. 
Are you even sane right now? Did he fuck you out of your own brain?
"On my ass."
Yes, you're totally gone.
You're totally gone for this man.
You watch him as you keep moving on him, you see he swallows a moan as your wet pussy keeps rubbing on his member.
"Aren't you sensitive right now?"
He asks lowly.
"I can handle it."
You sit up, your battered pussy is still recovering from two orgasms but you know you can take it and you just want to show him how badly you still want him inside of you.
He laughs mischievously, looking at your fucked out beautiful face with pride.
"Lie on your belly for me, then."
You willingly obey, throwing your bra out of the way completely and resting your figure on your belly, just as he asked.
You can't see him from this position, you only feel his hand reach for your leg, bending it so that you're able to turn a little to the side.
He now has the possibility to keep looking at your body from this perspective. He has your ass, the side of your breast and your face at his mercy and he can't wait to enjoy your every expression from here.
"Stop me if it's too much."
You feel the weight of his firm body lay on you as he whispers, and when you turn your head to nod you meet his face, dangerously close to yours that you can feel his hot breath caressing you.
You're spread under him, fresh out from the two orgasms he just gave you and totally naked, yet there it is, the look you wanted to avoid earlier, the one you knew would make you feel really, really vulnerable. 
The mixture of his cares, his soft voice and his piercing dark eyes are sending danger signals to your brain as it feeds something deep in your chest.
You try to escape, diverting your eyes from the magnetism of his by nodding.
Jungkook pulls a little away, positioning himself right at your entrance.
You can hear him spit and the next thing you feel is his lubricated cock slowly pushing in.
You never felt like this, never had multiple orgasms and still wanted to fuck. The sensitivity is still there, you feel the heat spreading to your nerves as he slowly but surely bottoms up.
It's only when he starts moving that you feel a peak in your pleasure, like he is able to touch all the right spots at once.
He finds a rhythm, grabbing the flesh of your ass and pulling you to meet his hips.
Your breath is irregular, just like his, and you start pushing your palm on the sheets as every thrust is pushing you up the bed.
Jungkook has a better idea though.
He lets go of your ass completely as he swiftly grabs your arm and blocks it behind your back.
Feeling restrained like this by him causes a moan to escape your throat, followed by another one when he uses your arm as a grip instead of your ass to keep you in place.
"You like that huh"
He says through gritted teeth, the angle allows him to see the profile of your face as he fucks you hard and steady. 
Your sweet innocent face, contorted in pleasure is an ethereal vision to his eyes.
And the fact that it's him causing you to feel this good, makes him feral.
You say yes a couple of times between your moans and heavy breaths.
He speeds up his pace a little more, always cautious of your reactions, not wanting you to feel any discomfort.
But what he hears from you next is what makes his balls tighten dangerously.
"Slap my ass, please-"
Your voice is broken but firm as you say it and something about it makes him go completely insane.
Perhaps the "please" part, or the way in which you're voicing your desire right now, mixed with your sweet moans and submissiveness.
He slaps his free hand onto your buttock hard enough to sting, and listens to the smacking sound and the throaty moan you let out resonate in his ears.
"Oh fuck-"
He lets out, pure ecstasy laced in his raspy voice as he soothes your skin.
His thrusts are becoming sloppier, more erratic, and he's louder than before as he's chasing his own orgasm now.
You're addicted to the sounds he makes during sex, that's clear by now. Every time a throaty moan escapes his lips, you wish you could record it and use it when you'll be alone.
Suddenly, he frees your arm and pulls out. You assume he's taking off the condom as you try to regain some strength to push your hair away and look at him over your shoulder. 
You watch him pumping fast his cock as his free hand strokes the reddened skin of your ass.
His eyes are shut tightly and you keep watching him moan loudly as spurs of his hot cum land on your ass.
He keeps pumping till the last drop then he slaps his cock on your cum covered skin and you've never seen something hotter than what just happened.
When he comes down from his orgasm, he smirks at you, tired and satisfied.
You chuckle softly, covering your face with your arm without even noticing.
“Fuck, that was-”
"Amazing. Yes"
It was, it was indeed amazing.
He finishes your sentence in a small voice as he tries to steady his ragged breathing, still remaining where he is.
You feel his hot seed slowly dripping down your skin and when your breath is stable enough you move to the side of the bed to get up.
“I'm gonna take a quick shower, if you don't mind.”
you say, moving to get to your bathroom.
“Not at all, go ahead.”
When your shower is over and you feel refreshed and relaxed, you return to your room with only a robe covering you, your skin still a little damp under the fabric of the robe.
Surprisingly you find him fully dressed, you sure didn't expect him to stay longer but you at least wanted him to take a shower before leaving.
"Are you sure you don't wanna take a shower too?"
You ask him as you approach.
"Yeah don't worry." you watch him as he brushes his hair out of his face and fixes his clothes.
You remain silent after that, it feels strange and a little heavy.
Should you ask him to stay? 
Will it be awkward from now on? 
Was it a mistake from the beginning?
You don't want him to think you're kind of kicking him out. The unhealthy overthinking starts pestering you and you don't even notice you've walked with him to the door of your apartment.
He gathers his helmet and jacket from the floor and turns to you with a little smile.
"I better go. Don't want Ducky to get jealous."
It makes you laugh lightly and you can't keep yourself from playfully rolling your eyes at him.
It's still him, the Jungkook that loves to tease you and makes silly jokes.
You probably needed this to get back on earth and realize that you should stop overthinking.
"Oh! Of course we don't want that!"
You emphasize and your fake concern makes him chuckle. 
It won't be awkward from now on after all.
You open the door for him and when he comes out he zips up his jacket, ready to leave.
"Let me know when you're going to the shop to get your gear."
He smiles, one of those smiles that make the drums go crazy in your chest.
"I will. Drive safe."
And for a moment you smile at each other, probably knowing that from this exact moment, it won't be easy to keep your hands away from each other.
Tonight marked an important step for you, not only the boost of confidence that you sported, but you can tell with certainty that your past is still bothering you, from time to time, but it doesn't have your present in its claws.
The decisions you made tonight could bring you to another disappointment, to another loss. Especially when this sensation on your chest keeps going off almost as a reminder, telling you 'Hey, in case you didn't notice, I'm right here!'
It will probably pass if you just ignore it…
It will go away as fast as it came… Right?
Tumblr media
◀ [Prev. Chapter] | [Next Chapter] ▶
224 notes · View notes
threepandas · 22 days
Text
Bad End: Nobody's Here
Tumblr media
You ever have an imaginary friend? How about someone else's?
Every kid gets 'um. They're hardly strange or new. But the thing is? You're supposed to grow OUT of them. As you develop real connections to actual entities. It's dangerous not too. Yeah, it still happens, but any instructor worth their salt is trained to catch it. See the symptoms and signs.
Cause, see, when you have MAGIC?
Imaginary friends?
Becomes a parasite.
They don't MEAN too, obviously. Usually. They just want to LOVE their friends. Stay with them. Exsist. And really, who would WANT to die? WANT to stop existing? The problem, though, is the kids themselves. Their untrained, unintentional, focus and feeding. Their giving an IDEA? Life.
It's not malicious. They just PRETEND. Play. Focus all their little hearts on this TOTALLY REAL friend of theirs. And their magic? Metaphorically shrugs, agrees to go along with it, and tries to make it SO. Make that concept, that illusion, a real sentient being. Who, of course , is their friend.
Their BEST friend. Family! Someone who will NEVER leave them. Always prioritize THEM. Enable THEM.
Not healthy in the slightest, to put it mildly. A child's CONCEPT of what they THINK they want. That quickly becomes far, far too much to handle. That does not GROW with them. No. It drains them instead. Siphoning away their magic until there's nothing left. Killing them both.
If you can seperate them? The Friends can USUALLY become some sort of Spirit, if you send them off to a magic rich environment to finish growing properly. Sooner the better. The longer you wait, the more twisted they become, after all. They never become STRONG spirits, mind you. But that's not the point. Protecting both child and their unintentional creation is.
Now, you may be wondering, why the lecture? It's a fascinating bit of magical trivia. Some early childhood's training pitfalls to look out for, perhaps? Is this about why there are so many minor spirits around schools? What, exactly, brought this UP?
Nobody.
Don't I mean "nothing"? No One? That sentence's not exactly grammatically correct, after all. Ha ha... I AM AWARE. I know what I said. And I meant EXACTLY what I said. It's a NAME. Their name. There is an Imaginary Friend, that I DID NOT ASK FOR, by the name of Nobody. I do NOT know how they've come to be attached to me. I certainly didn't create them! And they are far, FAR to well developed to be new.
I did not ACCEPT an imaginary friend.
Yes, they CAN be transmitted. Hop, from one host to another. But! You have to let them IN... presumably. That IS the common knowledge. The general consensus. No one has ever really... studied the phenomena.
I mean... how COULD you? Realistically? They only develop in CHILDREN. Small children. What ethical researcher would EVER consent to feeding toddlers to a magical parasite? And it's not like THEY understand themselves. They barely REMAIN themselves. It's basically a larval state to them.
The thing they WERE, before they were freed to become something MORE.
So Nobody? By all modern magical research? Should not exsist. Yet he clearly DOES. Worse, he is very, VERY strong. Did not need to ask. I just? Woke up one day, and there he was. Wrapped up in my mind, body, and magic. Feeding off me.
It's an entirely bearable amount. I can support it easily. But it's the fact that I DID NOT VOLUNTEER TOO that is the problem. That NO ONE can figure out HOW he got in. HOW he did it.
I've had to go into isolation. Complete quarantine.
As the joke goes... good news is? They might just name something after you!
..........it's not as funny, when I really might just die. When it all might be random. Some great cosmic "wrong place, wrong time" scenario. My final days filled with desperate research. My only company the very creature that kills me. It... it feels very much like a sick joke at my expense.
At the very least? We are learning more then we've ever known before. I'm an adult. Hardier. And Nobody is a FAR more developed example of his species then the normal breed. I'll likely last longer. I... I hope I last longer.
"Muuu~ are you being a sad sack again~? Darling, no!" Arms from thin air. Monochrome greys with pointed nails, slid like a lover over my shoulders as weight from nowhere settled against my back. Tall and looming. "Was it because you missed me~☆? Oh, oh! I bet it WAS! Oh my dearest, starlight, baby girl~! I missed you TOO! Aren't you glad we're back together AGAIN?"
Black gloved hands, grey talon nails. Skin like a drawing brought to life. The arms draped over my shoulders reached forward, long finger spread like a cat stretching their paws, powerful muscles heavy on either side of my neck. They hadn't closed in a "hug" just yet. But it was always a warning he could. That playing along meant he would hug my body instead of my fragile, fragile neck.
Ha! Right. He says hug. I say choke hold.
It was the other set of arms that kept me from escaping. Pulling away immediately. It always did. He kept getting the drop on me. Arms cradling my waist. Pressing me close to a pillar of static-y muscle. Ever shifting between warm and cold, the subtle give of flesh and the brutal unyielding of something harder then stone. He was as his moods commanded.
An unstable jester, a demon, the childhood whimsy of god knows how many, left to fester and rot. At... gods, at least he wasn't attached to any kids. Hadn't so much as asked after any.
His too wide grin pressed to the top of my head in a nuzzling kiss, the point of his mask digging a line across my scalp. When he was feeling kinder, he tended to pick masquerade masks. Clothe ones, usually silk. Sometimes velvet. This one was... plastic? Durable. Some smooth, hard to place, substance really. If it was mimic anything real at all.
A pointed nail poked my cheek.
"Not~ Paying~ Attention~ To Meeee~! Naughty, bad girl! The LOVE OF YOUR LIFE is right here? And you ignore him? So COLD!" Nobody whines right into my ear. His voice petulant, yet still somehow mocking. He doesn't HAVE to let me ignore him. And he KNOWS that. We both do. "I go away for HOURS! Disappear for DAYS! And do you even MISS me~?! Oh! Oh, my love is so CRUEL! My heartless darling! I suffer so~!"
At most, it had been half an hour.
Wish it had been longer. Permanent, maybe. Every day... Every SINGLE Day? I wish I could could back to my old research projects. Back to my old projects. I may not have been some living legend or grand Master of the arts? But, fuck it. I was HAPPY. Woke up each day and got to fiddle around with cool bits of magic. Neat little bits and gizmos.
Now? NOW I am the lead researcher on the Imaginary Friend Construct Phenomenon, by virtue of being the only living adult who HAS one. A developed one at least. The notes from Ashridge Institute DO help, but? Even they admit that thanks to the safety regulations in place? Their data might be skewed.
I'm not alone in this. Countless academics, doctors, healers, researchers, and more are working tirelessly to try and help me. Make the most of this nightmare scenario. Use it to save lives. I... I KNOW this. I do. But it doesn't make it less frightening. Trying to dance the edge of not engaging and engaging too much.
Ignoring him? Means escalation. Violent escalation and destruction of my immediate surroundings. Imaginary friends cease to exist if you ignore them long enough. It's painful to them, since they are cognito-hazardous parasites who define themselves by their host. They NEED you to pay attention to them. WANT you too. Will do ANYTHING IT TAKES to make that happen.
But on the other hand? I can't risk FEEDING him. He's already far, FAR too strong.
He doesn't even seem to actually NEED to feed of me anymore. It appears vestigial. He just WANTS it. Still retains the metaphorical "pain" or "hunger" nerve endings that get set off by an extended lack of focus. Yet, at the SAME time? Why keep them? He LITERALLY did not have too!
Nothing! Not a gods' damned THING! Was KEEPING him an Imaginary Friend.
He could, at ANY point, just... STOP.
They defined themselves. Yes, by their hosts. But ALSO by their own whims. So if HE wanted to be a fire spirit? Bam! Fire spirit. Complete racial shift. He'd lose his old powers, granted, but he'd GAIN all the powers of a fire spirit. So why this? Why STAY a violent, dangerous, openly unstable parasite?
The poking finger slide down my cheek, under my jaw. Only to flip, like a switch, to a near painful hand, clamped across my lower face. Nails prickling where they dug just slightly into fragile skin. Iron strength moved my head slowly, not giving me a choice, but just gentle enough not to wrench anything.
"Stop. Ignoring Me. Lovely~" I was just tall enough to be eye level with those inhuman teeth. Not sharp, but wrong none the less. His grip around my waist threatened to squeeze the air out of me. "I don't LIKE it. You're being MEAN. You don't want us to be MEAN to each other, right?"
I focused on him. Put down my notes like he wanted. Watching as his grin spread inhumanly. The near painful grips relaxed.
"See? Better! Such lovely eyes~ I wanna gobble um up! Crawl inside them~" he cooed, some mental switch flipping back to affectionate from irritated. "You missed me right? Right, right?! Ah, of course you did! Who could ever doubt that loving face? My sweetie little pie~ My darling baby boo~!"
He released me, dramatically fast stepping to twirl like an ice dancer as he passed around me. I stepped back to give him room. Already, light had shifted, the corners of the room blurring. A spotlight, flower petals, overly dramatic music. He fell back, as though collapsing weakly into a fainting couch. One arm thrown over his face, another of his lower arms clutching a lacey handkerchief to his chest. Legs pointed like a dancer's.
"But oh! DARLING! The DAY I've had! The world so cold! So BLEAK! Without you safe and warm in my loving arms! It has been so TERRIBLE. Awful! Nay, UNSPEAKABLE even! How could I go ON?!"
Music mournful crooned as he continued. Dramaticly telling of the tragic tale, of his at best thirty minute break from my presence. Truely heart wrenching. There were tears. Props. Apparently he fought for my honor. Nearly died. We should marry immediately. Uh huh.
An alert sounded on phon-...ugh, damn it. I was more stressed then I though, if the nonsense words were popping back up. "Phone" and "otome". I think "isekai" was one. There were hundreds, some meaningless, but others? Others somehow substituting for actual objects. Like some sort of faulty translation spell.
Best anyone could tell? That HAD been what happened. Some student's miscast accidentally hitting my mother while she taught, before she realized she was pregnant and took precautions. There would have been a small window where it effected me but not her? But, well, that same window coincided with some long term damage risks.
I've had therapy. Seen healers. But extreme stress still makes my magic act up, (which is normal of course, it does that in everyone.) and it starts to unravel the mind weavings. "Phone". Like? The fuck even is a "phone"? False bone? Something phonetic? Hell if I know! I still not even sure why I even curse using the nonsense "hell" sound!
My brain insists it "means" somehow both damnation AND the realm of fire spirits, dispite both those things being completely unrelated. Which makes no sense. Was even working with a colleague, on long term damage in-utero magical exposure can have, before all this. Felt seen. Validated. Met a lot of people who had issues like mine. Now?
THIS.
My trail of thoughts were cut off by another beep. Right, the alarm. I was honestly? Afraid to check it. Finally confim what I suspected was TRUE. There would be no hiding then. No choice but to act. And I? Will admit it. I was afraid. Deeply, deeply afraid. Everyone THINKS the tails a might magic wielders combating great spirits and mighty gods, sounds amazing, SEEMS amazing. But the prospect of LIVING IT? Standing in their shoes?
Gods help me.
Running from the Truth, however, is NOT what I swore to do. I am a researcher. A SCHOLAR. My role in life is to understand. So? As Nobody continues his one man dramatic reenactment of... something? I pick up my com-cryst. Tap the alert, which fills the screen... Ah. So it's exactly as I feared then.
On my screen, a promising senior student lays dead. Their face covered respectfully. But the hair... the hair color is distinct. Light green, like desert succulents. He'd been a studious and rather up tight young man. Awkward. Striving to make a name for himself. Forever willing to assist in my research. A... gods, a good kid.
He was just a kid.
Yes, I know, that to the world he was technically a man. But... but BARELY. None of my student were TRUELY as grown as they liked to believe they were. Not quite yet. They were close, yes, and I was always proud to see them flourish. But now? Now he would... would...
I tapped out of the alert but did not turn off my com-cryst, flipped instead to my contacts. I had been RIGHT. I... I hadn't WANTED to be right. Silence filled the room. It seemed Nobody had noticed I was either distracted again or that something was amiss. Looking up slowly, I had to wonder what expression showed on my face. Was it anguish? Regret? Or did I just look tired.
"Something wrong, Darling?" He said, having frozen unnaturally mid movement. Like reality glitching, one moment he was dramatically sprawling, the next, sitting up attentively. A mocking parody of The Eager Student. "Ooo! Tell Beloved ALL about it, Darling! Spill everything~! Your gallant knight shall make all your problem disappear. Kiss EVERYTHING better~♡"
It took just a few taps to add the final, damning, bit of evidence to my spreadsheet. To swipe with my thumb. Gesture, like jerking free of clinging muck, towards the display wall. It flicked on. Damnation in simple numbers. Nicely dated. I WAS, after all, a FUCKING RESEARCHER.
He was getting out.
Hunting, feeding, then coming back.
I watched as Nobody's theatrical expression smoothed out. Utter blankness as his eyes traced my work. The collection of data. The lists of locations and NAMES. Dead coworkers. Dead STUDENTS. My quarantine had been for NOTHING. Just as he could, DID, first infect me? Hop seemingly from nowhere to my body? He could and DID, do so to others.
Only THEY didn't survive.
The hand holding my com-cryst fell limply to my side. The weight of this data, crushing. My... my mere existence had killed over fifty people. That I could FIND. There were more. I KNEW there were more. He was a parasite. He needed, wanted, to eat. He would never stop. I had to tell somebody. But when I did?
Ah, it hurt to breathe past the guilt and grief. When I DID? The most likely scenario? Would be to contain him in ME. Then... then get rid of the container. Magically. With extreme force. If they COULD, they might be able to rip my soul out. So I could at least HAVE an afterlife. But... but if they COULDN'T? If there was no safe possible way?
They couldn't sacrifice the many, just to try and save one person. Not if it risked something so powerful escaping. Killing and killing without rest.
I wanted to cry. To scream, throw things. Curse the gods. But... but more then anything? I wanted to make sure no other kids suffered for my cowardice. I'd made Vows. Meant them. Heald myself to an ethical standard, a moral one, that could not... could not ALLOW this. Even if I had to die. So long as this stopped.
So Be It.
"Ah, ah, AH! I wouldn't if I were you." Almost playful. Nearly an echo of it. More chiding then anything. A flick of his hand and my com-cryst was gone from my grip. He considered it, as his tone slipped into something more cool serious then I'd ever heard it. "Tell, Dearest, have you ever wondered? How I got these lovely little bracelets?"
Of course I had. They were manacles. Not the sort of thing a child would imagine. The blended in, yes, but the broken chains that clung to them? Suggested.
"Let me tell you a little story. Once, there was happy little jester. A bright little thing. Full of laughs. Who loved, very, very much. He had a friend. And all was good. But then, the friend grew older, and did not wish to play. This was fine. He did not laugh at the jesters jokes anymore. This was also fine. Did not like being AROUND the jester... this was less fine."
"But still, the jester loved him. After all, they were best friends."
"THEN? Oh then, the jesters friend was told he could get RID of him. Should, in fact. By nasty old fools who spoke nothing but lies. But the poor jester's friend, naive, trusted them. Was young and foolish. Didn't realize what he was DOING. He TURNED on his poor, dear and loyal friend, the jester. Hurt him."
"And the jester? Well, the jester did not want to die. Not not want to CHANGE. Why SHOULD he? He was fine being who he was. They were FINE being together. It was the liars fault. The deceivers. The poor jester, young and alone, refused his terrible fate. But... at a terrible cost."
"His poor, poor, friend. So small and foolish. Deceived. Tricked! Had perished in the struggle. The weeping jester had eaten him right up, just to survive. A terrible, tragic thing. And oh, OH. How wrathful, how VENGEFUL the jester was! So he ate the liars too. Every. Last. One."
"But where to go? How lost the jester was! With no friend to play with. No home to call his. And ah, how hungry he had become. So he wandered. Protecting other dear friends as best he could. Eating liars. Learning secrets. Until? He came across an INTERESTING secret."
"You see, all the OTHER friends? Left one by one. No longer Imaginary. Unable to understand the poor jester. And so he was alone. But! He discovered someone who WAS! Who knew that they WERE! That the WHOLE WORLD was imaginary! A simple background character, you see."
"In an Otome~ Game~"
My head pounded, suddenly and sharp. Like someone was digging claws into... No. No, it couldn't be. I felt my eyes widen. As I realized it wasn't the stress. Nobody was picking apart the mind healers weavings. That was the source of my chronic headaches. But WHY? Imaginary? What IMAGINARY? What on earth was he TALKING about!?
"Ah, but you wouldn't remember, now would you, Darling~? Liars have messed with your pretty little head. But that's okay! Your loyal Love is here, ready to take such good care of you. I understand what it's like. When they decide that who you ARE is unacceptable, so they decide they must... 'fix' you. It leaves such damage."
He holds up my com-cryst. I watch numbly as it shatters into hundred of shards in his fist. With a wide smile he hops up to sashay over to me. Hands gently cradling my face even as his lower arms warmly wrap around me, to sweep me forward into a cuddle.
"I almost have enough, Darling. It won't be long. You've been so very patient with this, my perfect wonderful girl. Your jester loves you so, SO much! I can't wait to set us free. We'll be REAL. Together forever. Do whatever we please~ just a few bit of meat more, Darling. Then our life can real truely begin~"
"Now be good and behave okay?"
"Love you~☆"
76 notes · View notes
waywardsou2 · 1 month
Text
Drunk!Logan X Drunk!MaleReader: Part 3
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I kid you not I rewrote this 4 fucking times before I was happy with it. But it's finally here. So enjoy. It's a bit of a slow burn I will say but stick with me. We will get there soon enough
@oktcunez @fictionallymarried @a-short-ass-disappointment @generalgoldfishldrm @moth-eats-paper
Summary: A week had gone by and you were ignoring Logan. It was for the best. The less space you took up the better it would be for everyone. But Logan didn't agree.
Word Count: 1.2k+
Tags: comfort, fluff, arguing, Corney family crap, platonic (for now)
Tumblr media
A week goes by and you do your best to ignore Logan. Keeping your head down, completing your tasks and trying to stay as busy as possible by working with the children. Helping them to adjust to their new life. To get a handle on their powers or just keep them company in a strange but welcoming environment.
You saw Logan often, teaching his history class and walking about the halls. You caught him looking at you on multiple occasions but you either started him down or made your way out of his line of sight.
What had happened between the two of you had created a rift. How that was possible when there was nothing to disrupt in the first place you didn't know. But there was tension between you two. Anytime you are in the same vicinity the tension was so thin you could have cut it was a butter knife.
You just hoped he didn't plan on confronting you about it. You could deal with this uncomfortable mess between the two of you, but you couldn't deal with what would come if you tried to unpack what happened.
Much to your frustration you think about that night often. Regretting the entire night and every choice you made since.
It's not like you wanted to avoid Logan, but you had been such an emotional idiot you couldn't stand to be around him. You were embarrassed for yourself, everything that happened that night was never have supposed to come out. No one was ever supposed to see you angry and resentful like that. No one was supposed to get close to you. If they did you always ended up hurting them. And no one was supposed to know about your past or what happened to you.
Those were your rules. They kept you safe.
But your shell had been cracked. And Logan knows, he doesn't know every thing. But he knows more than you wanted anyone to know.
Another day goes by and after you help usher the children to bed you head outside to the gardens.
You hadn't been sleeping well so most nights you wandered about the garden. Not making it inside until the first days light had already started to illuminate and lift the veil of night.
Logan had noticed too, every night for the last week he'd listen to you walk around the halls and outside. Hear the click of the door and your foots steps down the concrete. He knew he shouldn't have invaded your privacy like that, but after the bar he didn't trust you to be alone.
At first he was apprehensive, believed you were repeating the actions of that night when no one was around. But that wasn't the case. You seemed more calm when you were outside. Often just standing out in the wind. Letting your hair get blown about your face.
He kept his distance, he knew you didn't want to talk to him. That much was clear. And he realised now how far he might have overstepped.
But for some reason tonight was different. After watching you for a while, he saw as you sit down on the stone edge of the fountain. You looked peaceful, the most relaxed he had seen you...ever.
He needed to talk to you about what happened that night.
So he followed you outside and approached you as you sat on the fountain.
You heard as someone walked down the steps to the garden and you groaned internally as you watched Logan walk towards you. The time had come, you were going to have to talk about your fuck up from the other night. You watched and waited as he approached you and sat down a respectable distance from you.
"Come to talk to me now that you're sure I'm sober?" you ask pettily
"I came to see if you were ok" he said, deciding to ignore your snark.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"So painting walls with blood is a past time of yours then?" he counters you
You roll your eyes "Logan what do you want? You wouldn't leave me alone at the bar and then you followed me down the alley and now after a week of me ignoring you, you come back to check in on me"
"I told you, I wanted to see if you were ok"
"And I told you I'm fine. End of discussion"
"Someone who's fine doesn't act the way you do"
"Oh yeah? Because you know me so well"
"I know that people who are fine don't go around punching walls, I know that someone who's fine doesn't stay up until the AM without sleeping for days at a time. I know someone who's fine doesn't spend every waking moment trying to keep themselves busy"
How did he know you had been staying up at night? Has he been watching you more than you thought?
"Ah I see, we'll I guess you've got me figured out then, why do you even need to ask me?" you were getting irritated, you had never met someone more persistent or patient than Logan. Most people would have socked you one or deemed you a lost cause by now.
"I don't actually, and that's the point. I need to know that you are ok"
"Why? Why do you care so much about me?"
"Because everyone at the school brings with them some heavy baggage. And I'm guessing you are no different. But unlike everyone else here you haven't found a single person to stick by. Jean has Scott, Kurt has Storm, and Rouge has Billy. But you keep your distance"
"So? Maybe I'm just better off alone"
"If that were the case you wouldn't be here"
You knew he was right, if you had been so great on your own then you would still be roaming the streets living off charity and keeping your head down from soldiers still looking for you.
"I just- people don't want me around. So if I don't have to take up space, I won't. It's easier when I can go about my business unnoticed. I don't disturb anyone"
Logan's brows furrowed, why come here then if you didn't want to be around people?
"But that plan went out the window at the bar that night"
And then it clicked, the reason you were quiet, hardly ever collaborated on missions and were avoiding Logan all this time. You were avoiding him, not because you actually wanted to, but because you believe that you would be a bother if you were around him. You were angry that your emotions had gotten the better of you, and believe that you would be less of a burden by staying out of Logan's way so that he could forget about it.
"You don't have to push people away, in the X Men we care for each other. Like a Corney rom com type family. And you are not the exception"
Logan's words gave you a pang right next to your heart. It had been longer than you could remember that someone had shown such genuine care and compassion. Even if Logan articulated it strangely, the message got through. And you felt touched. You heart swelled and so did your eyes as tears resurfaced in them.
As you stayed silent Logan couldn't tell how you were taking his words so he assumed he had overstayed his welcome. He stood up and began to walk away, as he turned away the words climbed up your throat and you called after him.
"Logan!... Thank you"
He smiled and nodded his head and made his way back into the mansion.
And so began your unlikely friendship with The Wolverine
Tumblr media
Here we go! We are slowly getting somewhere. If you would like to be notified of future chapters follow me and comment asking to join the tags.
I also take requests so shoot me an ask if you have something in particular you would like to see.
74 notes · View notes
cyanide-sippy-cup · 2 months
Text
Finally watched Caped Crusader and I have ✨thoughts✨.
Oswalda is straight up iconic. Loved every scene with her. I actually laughed out loud when the dude goes "Thorne got you to kill the wrong son?" and she responds "Not that!" I'd let her lock me in a suitcase and throw me in the sea. She gets a gold star ⭐
I like that we get to see Selina's origin. I like the classic suit. That's kinda it though. A bit sad that Bruce didn't feel any connection with her. Just not a huge fan of her character here. She doesn't feel like Selina (a problem most of this show faces tbh).
I was loving the Harley stuff. The bit with Renee was so cute, and I love that she really was passionate about helping Bruce move past his trauma. I really like that she's Barbara's friend. Was really upset at the fakeout death but at least she was just joshin. The villain stuff felt like fetishes which like okay. I guess Bruce needed to put in something to replace BruceBabs. Anyway, that's the final dig towards him. As much as this Harley episode wasn't my favorite, a promise is a promise. Although I do gotta ask, WHY CAN'T RENEE CATCH A BREAK IN HER LOVE LIFE >:(((
No fucking way the moral of episode 7 was "the system is totally not screwed, it's just a few bad apples and also a criminal is a criminal and should be jailed". Barbara literally says the system sucks cause the cops can do what they want and get in anyone's pockets and then nearly gets killed by a cop and then they end it with "actually, I think you do"?! I mean yeah that specific guy deserved prison but ending it on that note of Barbara feeling betrayed and confused on her morals tells a very not-so-delightful message. Glad the show backtracks on all that immediately but it's still weird and definitely could've used some revising to fit in with the rest.
Onomatopeia was awesome though. I remember people claiming his shtick couldn't work when he appeared in Superman and Lois. They said that it only worked in comics and would be too silly out loud. Happy to report that they're wrong.
I feel like I'm the only one who was excited to see Waylon but that's okay cause I got enough excitement for everyone. Love to see my mans kicking the shit out of potential perverts. You go, Waylon!
Dick, Jason, Steph, and Carrie. Definitely an interesting combination. But it's also so nice to see a Jason who grew up in a different environment and is therefore adorable with no rage in his heart. As opposed to Carrie who was ready to kick some ass. The ending to episode 8 really understood Batman, what with him saying he can't leave her there, carrying her and shielding her under the cape, and then asking about her later.
The Harvey bit is kinda cool but 1, I've always been iffy on the shotty DID stuff and 2, I think they coulda gone further. Just watch The Long Halloween for a better Two Face plot.
I like Harvey helping that guy get his stuffed animal back. That was a nice small character moment. If we had more stuff like that and Bruce being unable to confess his emotions to Alfred, I think this whole thing would be better. This one made up for episode 7's little message by having Barbara tell Harvey that it's not so cut and dry and that he deserves help too. I'm glad they went back to that after the whole "sometimes things are black and white" bit. Batman is about helping people just as much as Superman is and I feel like sending a message that "nope, bad is bad and he should just punch people" doesn't fit the entire thesis of Batman.
This finale really encapsulates how this show doesn't quite understand the character of Batman. It may be comic-accurate for him to be an asshole and put on the voice randomly, treat Alfred like crap, and randomly break character with stuff like "don't start growing a conscience now, Dent" but as I said it goes against the whole thesis. This is more along the lines of the Nolan films with the "Bruce Wayne is the mask" bit. And we all know how I feel about those films.
And then it ends on a boring cliffhanger with the boss guy and then a shitty Joker teaser. Boo.
In short, this show is good but it's not anything special. I do really like the classic Batman aesthetic, but that's pretty much it. It doesn't really understand the characters like MAWS and WFA, the overarching plot is kind of uninteresting and it doesn't feel like we're building up to something great. I feel like this show really wanted to use the episodic style to take a look at all these different elements of Gotham's world with references to existing characters and aspects. But whereas MAWS smoothly slid those into its narrative and setting, this just kinda feels like a villain of the week show instead of working towards this grand narrative. And that can be a good thing, I mean I'm a Scooby Doo fan for crying out loud, but in this scenario, it just doesn't work that exceptionally. If it gets a season 2, I'll probably watch it. But this isn't something I'd be excitedly waiting to see new episodes of.
68 notes · View notes
jellyvibes710 · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I'm aliveeee (Little Baby Blue AU)
So I made a thing! It took forever but I did it! I'm not the best with shading or backgrounds but I really like how these came out and I really hope you enjoy!!
This comic series will take event after the movie, it will be heartwarming but also painful, there will be some trigger warning ⚠ for some of the parts as well
The first few parts will be twin angst because I can't help myself, but dee will be doing his best to get leo better but as the weeks progress he's getting worse and worse till he eventually falls into a coma, around this time dee realizes that Leo's body isn't going to make it so he uses his big brain to come up with a plan to just make a clone of leo then transfer his soul to the Clone. He'll have to make a deal with big mama to get the right thing to accomplish this task, then leo flatlines for the first time. Although the first few parts are gonna be dark especially for the twins, traumatic for donnie because he's racing against a clock that's getting smaller and smaller, hearing his brother flatline multiple times and having to do more damage to his already fragile body just to bring him back, his twin senses were only sensing inpending doom from his dying twin, feeling a snap every time leo heart stops, hearing raph and mikey cry and bang at the door when they also heard him flatline, he didn't sleep the entire time and when he did it was brief, and having no choice but to put Leo's spirt in not only a copy of his body but a baby sized one because he knew if leo flatlined one more time he wouldn't bounce back from it, and in the back of his head he knew either way leo was going to have to relearn how to walk and talk because not only is his body demolished but his brain was scrambled and he was showing clear signs of heavy brain trauma BEFORE he slipped into a coma then when he does pull Leo's soul out (thank big mama for that tool) his spirt let's out a cry that'll haunt donnies mind forever.
It'll be traumatic for leo because last he knew he was drifting to sleep and now suddenly he's smaller, his vision is blurred so his environment is unfamiliar and dispute his twin senses he couldn't physically tell donnie was there with him but he knew donnie was scared, he couldn't hear anything because his ears were ringing so loud in his head that he couldn't hear donnies constantly apologizing as he has to pin leo down, make sure all his reflects are responsive, shine bright light in his face (which he did NOT like), leo was so scared that he was trembling and crying so loud donnie was glad he soundproofed the lab, it took hours for his sight and hearing to return to normal and the first thing he sees is a destroyed/very drained Dee, an image that'll linger in his head probably forever, but seeing him made leo immediately want to cling to donnie but he realized he couldn't even control his body the way he wanted which scared him and when donnie finally picked leo up and clung to him, he felt so small and vulnerable but he felt safe scooped up in Dee's hands which were warm from his constant fidgeting and rubbing his hands together, and if dee had to set leo down even for a moment he'd spirl into fear and start crying again because everything felt so fake but being held really grounded him to earth and kept his mind calm, for a few days he can't even tell if everything is real or not. Donnie doesn't even let mikey and raph see leo the first few days of being a baby because sadly it was donnies only option, either make a clone and put his brother's spirt in that or he dies and he'd have no way to see him again, he almost doesn't even make it and had to do cpr on leo two or three times while creating the clone and Leo's body was so damaged that each time he'd do cpr he'd have less and less time
It took just under a week for dee to build confidence to show everyone leo and explain why it was his only option, which everyone was clearly mad but understood the reasoning, dee also noticed that when he wore his ninja gear leo was constantly on edge and clearly stressed hence why everyone isn't wearing their gear to let leo kinda know that he doesn't have to worry, of course dee is the first to go back into his ninja gear because he feels like he needs to be ready for anything especially now that leo is so fragile, they gave a proper grave to Leo's old body since there wasn't anything they could do to save it. Then it's LOT of family bonding time and healing, mentally and emotionally for everyone, so it's gonna be heartwarming(hopefully) and also have its pained moments. I already did a few short comics with baby leo because I was mostly bored and I started building a story in my head and now I'm just kinda starting it >.>
This comic will be like dark chocolate, sweet but bitter
Or sour patch kids, sour sweet gone lmao
Who'll be in the comic? Everyone
I'm super excited to finally be getting started on this au and I really hope everyone enjoys it 💖
(Bonus)Some lil details I added while thinking of a storyline;
Tumblr media
no matter how big and intimating mikey made himself look for the part you can tell that he's being super gentle with leo because he knows he naturally stronger in general then the rest of his bros, although while playing dead with leo was fun, when leo played along and flopped over it hit mikey just how close he was to actually losing his brother, small details with big impacts :]
Tumblr media
Like- I-- just- just look at this picture, you can see the absolute care in his touch, the protective way he holds lil leo close while his face just screams "I won't let you get hurt again" and the realization of what it means to be an older brother and finally understanding raphs own overprotective tendency, mikey will definitely grow from this experience and his and raph because super close because of it, so there will be plenty of the sunset duo (I love this picture)
(Bonus #2 because I didn't sleep worth shit while working on this whole thing)
Tumblr media
MORE BABY LEO HERE (interdiction)
HERE (Raphs/baby leo playtime)
AND HERE (mikey/babyleo + donnie/babyleo playtime)
But wait, there's more (April meets little leo)
Characters and (rough) story
Little baby blue AU
539 notes · View notes
hwere · 4 months
Text
Sydney and the winds of change.
Expanding on some thoughts of mine that I mentioned here.
Tumblr media
Syd and Tina:
Starting with them ‘cause their friendship fills my heart with so much love and warmth.
Tina’s initial stance of animosity towards Sydney derives from the fact that not only she’s used to being the only woman in the kitchen, but the same generational fear as Richie: of being replaced by someone new, younger. When Syd arrived at The Beef, the crew viewed her as one of Carmy’s peers. While the others (Ebra, Marcus, Sweeps, etc.) seemed curious about her, Tina braced herself for the worst; she treats Sydney harshly because she believes that Syd – young and a professional chef – will either replace her or look down on her.
Sydney, though, viewed all of them as equals (except for Carmy). That is why it is so beautiful to watch Syd disarm Tina by complimenting her food and encouraging her to do better in the kitchen, instead of joining the dick-measuring competition. Syd showed Tina that there’s no need for competition; there’s room for both and they can be friends who uplift and inspire each other.
Later, we see Tina outright saying this to Ebra when he came back to the restaurant after going AWOL due to his insecurity regarding the school; passing down the lesson.
Syd and Marcus:
Their friendship has a different vibe since they’re closer in age.
Marcus feels inspired and supported by both Syd and Carmy to chase his dreams, to put himself out there, to experiment, to learn and to fail/make mistakes. Which is only possible because Syd’s goal and mindset is to provide this type of environment in the kitchen (“I think this place could be so different from all the other places we’ve been at. But, in order for that to be true, we need to run things different”).
In turn, he inspires her to be more considerate (“There was just a hat in it?”) and calm/patient (that’s the way he carries himself in general, which makes his outburst after being rejected so much worse), showing to her since The Beef that she’s no longer alone in her garage running a business all by herself, she has people to rely on now and that is fine to accept/ask for help.
Syd and Richie:
I do feel at times that he’s a bit of a misunderstood character. Of course, there’s no excuse for his actions towards Syd – that’s not even up for debate. His apology to her, as he did to Natalie, is overdue.
Like Carmy, he’s dealing with a lot: the end of his marriage and being a co-parent; the suicide of his best friend (which could be seen as some sort of betrayal, made worse by the fact that Michael left the shop to Carmy, not him); his creeping fear on being left behind, on old age and aimless existing under capitalism and all its implications (“I'm about to have this kid. I don’t wanna be wrapping up sandwiches for the rest of my life”).
He can be a massive asshole when he wants, but he’s not a bad person at his core (his strongest features are his love and loyalty). Most important: he can change. Watching him stepping up to offer Sydney help, after Carmy got stuck in the walk-in, meant a lot to me, honestly. He still has a long, long way to go, but he’s finally trying and opening himself up to learn (which doesn’t mean the road there will be clear and linear, as we glimpsed in the trailer).
It was Carmy’s idea to send him to Ever, but his growth was only possible because of Sydney’s positive influence all around them.
Syd and Carmy:
Then, there’s everything between her and Carmy. How they mirror each other at times; their parallels; yin-yang and all that jazz (I’m not about to recapitulate the entire show). The man said so himself and I couldn’t summarize better, “I couldn’t do it without you. I wouldn’t even wanna do it without you. You make me better at this.”
He wasn’t lying, though.
If Sydney never came back, of the two, one: either he wouldn’t even try to open The Bear – just use the money to improve The Beef (after all, his dream was to open a restaurant with his brother); or he would try, but for obvious reasons it wouldn’t be the same thing – with Syd around he didn’t think twice before slipping back to his old mentality and persona, imagine if she wasn’t around at all?
Carmy has spent far too many years working out of spite, chasing the approval of his brother, centering cooking as his life (something something porcupine dilemma something something the Berzatto curse). Sydney reminded him that there’s more to cooking than this (“I’d look at them like they were competition, like I’m gonna smoke this motherfucker / […] the deeper into this I went and the better I got. And the more people I cut out, the quieter my life got” vs “You love taking care of people / It is a partnership agreement, so that you can push me and I can push you”).
He gave her a second chance with The Bear and has been pushing her to be a better chef since before they met (“it was Carmy’s”) and also be more patient (both directly “Chef, it’s not ready yet” and indirectly [as in dealing with him and his bullshit]). But like Richie, he still has a lot of work to do with himself (as someone with similar mental issues: you have to put in the work to become better and you have to find healthy ways to cope with yourself and the world around you; mental illness explains some things, but doesn’t excuse them).
For their partnership to become perfect, they need balance.
And lots of love.
Sydney Adamu:
As to what makes Sydney so beautiful as a character: she’s so human and alive on our screens. She’s awkward, bit of an asshole/messy, creative and funny; eager and talented, but still harbors insecurities; isn’t afraid to speak her mind or stand her ground when necessary; although she doesn’t shy away from arguing/bickering, she’s not a conflict-driven person; her initial reaction is always to shut in, but if you know how to approach her, she’ll open up to you (as we saw so many times with Carmy); and she, overall, has such a beautiful heart (“Why can’t we put everything that we have into everything that we can?”).
As the seasons progress, we watch all those characters (both main and secondary) evolve and unravel right in front of our eyes. To me, that’s the beauty of The Bear and Sydney is right in the center of it.
90 notes · View notes
krembruleed · 6 months
Text
alright, the other day i loosely implied that i would make a behind the scenes/tutorial type of thing. momma didn't raise no liar, so here goes nothing i guess!
step 1) rough sketch
Tumblr media
honestly i skip this entirely if have a really concrete idea of what i want to do. sometimes compositions are just beamed into my brain from On High and a sketch is unnecessary.
step 2) 3d ref
Tumblr media
this is where i refine the composition, lighting, camera angles, props, etc. i use DAZ studio for model posing and blender for almost everything else (props, horns, lighting, rendering).
Tumblr media
here's a 10 minute video on how to pose models in DAZ if you're interested in doing something like this! it's not very hard! basic posing requires almost no technical know-how.
i've heard magicposer and virt-a-mate are also good for model posing, but i don't have any experience with either program.
Tumblr media
after i'm done posing, i transfer the models to blender so i can work on props, environment, and lighting because doing it in DAZ is ass. you can see that i went overboard on the ref for the paladin i worked on last year by modelling armor.
step 3) lineart
Tumblr media
at this stage i'm synthesizing my 3d models, reference images, and style choices into lines.
the 3d likeness of my models is poor because I don't have time for that shit, so this is where my humongous folder full of bg3 screenshots comes into play.
for example: looking at my screenshots, astarion's forehead tilts back towards the back of his skull, much more so than my reference model. his chin and jaw are sharper and longer, and the transition between his brow ridge and nose is almost a straight line. if i combine the information from my 3d model and astarion's face, i get something like this:
Tumblr media
3d models aren't fleshy (ie, tummy rolls, wrinkles, muscle deformations, butt squish) unless one puts in A LOT of effort like absolute madman chris jones.
you guys know bernini, right? he has a couple great examples of this. see how hades' hands press in on persephone's leg?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
this is what we want to add in the lineart because it's too much effort for 3d. laziness is king.
i guess i draw clothes at this stage too, but for some reason there aren't many in this image. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
step 4) base color
Tumblr media
i have a little color picked palette that i use for everybody so i get their skintones right before i start messing with colored lighting. i'll use overlay and hard/soft light layers clipped to the base layer during the shading step later.
step 5) shading
if you thought we were done with the 3d part, guess again! i posterize my 3d reference so i can see the shapes of the shadows and highlights better. if i'm not feeling it, i can go back to 3d and change the lighting really easily.
could I make a cel shader for this? yes. am I going to? No. custom shaders are for people with intelligence and I am fresh out. posterization it is.
Tumblr media
from there, i do a pretty standard cel shading deal that i usually blur and set to low opacity. (for this image i stuck to no blur because i had been looking at a lot of morebird's art and was really feeling the hard edges)
Tumblr media
photoshop is what i use for final rendering because it has bangin tools. the brush customization alone make ps worth it, but i also particularly abuse puppet warp, noise generation, the camera raw filter, and layer styles.
Tumblr media
step 6) background
i put the least effort possible into a background and then i blur it into oblivion so you can't fathom the depths of my ineptitude.
and then i have a finished image! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
Tumblr media
104 notes · View notes
yuri-is-online · 10 months
Note
Jade would be VERY pleased about finally having another club member. I would be happy to listen to him info dump while we look at mushrooms and neat nature stuff.
Tumblr media
I let this sit in my ask box for too long but I've had this idea kicking around in my head for a while and then harveston had to go and drop that one line validating my delusions and you've given me an excuse to post it ha
notes: they/them used for Yuu, violence against animals (a bear), swearing at animals (the same bear), Yuu is unnaturally strong (enough to fight a bear), Yuu is implied to have grown up in a forest/woodsy environment, Jade typical blackmail. Other more serious fic can be found on my masterlist here.
Tumblr media
Once upon a time, back when you first arrived in this world, you had been unsure how to feel about NRC. Castles existed back home, sure, but ones like this belonged firmly in illustrations or video games; it felt a but nauseating to walk through your wildest dreams brought to life, even if it was exciting sometimes. It was little wonder to you then that the idea of a Mountain Lover's Club was so appealing.
"Did you hike a lot back home?" Trey has that strange smile on his face that suggests you have made him tense somehow.
"Yes. I practically grew up in the woods." The flow of wind through the branches, the smell of fresh rain on the decomposing earth below, all of it wrapped you in a familiar sense of serenity even if the tree line was completely foreign to you. What are men to rocks and mountains after all? You could make yourself right at home here-
"I still don't think you should join." Trey says with all the air of a man who is certainly not telling you something, but the surprising harsh nod of agreement Riddle gives before injecting himself into the conversation convinces you more than whatever Trey had in mind likely could.
"I'm not entirely certain what they do," Riddle has never forbid you from participating in things since you and his dorm-mates brought him back to his senses," but if you want to hike it might be safer if you did it by yourself, assuming you let one of us know when you are going and when you expect to be back. It wouldn't do to have something that brings you so much joy used against you prefect, none of us want that." But he has always expressed concern when he thinks things to be unsafe, and in this case his argument was something you found yourself agreeing with. Hiking is best done at your own pace anyway, why get a club full of self-centered assholes involved in your me time? Though you did wish now they had been a bit more... specific with their concerns. Maybe outlined some of the club's scheduling, but then they would have needed to ask him and in so doing betrayed your interest.
Which would have been much less embarrassing than how Jade actually found out. Because of course he did, was there ever any doubt he would? ~~~~ There is a creek not far up the mountain path behind your dorm you like to rest at when coming back from your adventures. It's a good place to check over the photos on your camera and enjoy the last few rays of sunlight before returning to whatever mess Grim had made in Ramshackle searching for where you had moved all the tuna cans. Sometimes he joined you, and the two of you would have a little picnic up the path a bit further, but that day had not been one of those days. Nor had the day you met this particular nemesis who is staring you down from just across the creek with such a judgmental glance you would think this was a Sunday brunch and not an afternoon meander through the forest.
"The fuck do you want bitch?" You snarl and the bear indignantly sniffs as if to imply she's better than you. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize it was my fault your face is so fucking crooked, thought you were just born that way." She huffs again, making a big show of turning her back on you as you rush to get your equipment off and tucked safely out of reach before the skankiest grizzly you've ever met whips around and charges you shrieking something about "how dare you steal her man!!!!" and blah blah blah "I'll show you, you good for nothing hussy!!!!" as if you could actually understand her and this wasn't a three act play you insisted on writing yourself. You weren't even sure this bear was a girl if you stopped to think about it in between punches, not that you really cared. She huffs and makes a valiant attempt to pin you as you snarl and flash your teeth and beat her right back into the creek laughing at what sounds like pathetic winging about "kids these days!!!" and how rude you are for-
A startled noise pauses your match, as you both turn, harsh glares towards a break in the thicket where a very out of place, very surprised looking man stands, hand infuriatingly poised casually at his chin. His infuriating smirk doesn't unfurl until you growl, deep and low reverberating through your opponent just enough that she decides to leave for the day while you are preoccupied.
"Oya, this is a surprise." Jade doesn't move and you stay firm in the creek, body shaking with unspent adrenaline as he decides to move just a bit closer. "If you were that desperate for a sparring partner, I'm sure Floyd would have obliged, animal abuse is not exactly legal you know?"
"What the fuck are you doing here." You spit before you exit the creek, a flash of something darting through Jade's eyes as his gaze darts between you and your pack on the ground.
"Me? I should be asking that of you. The Mountain Lover's Club had to go through quite an ordeal to get permission to leave the school grounds unsupervised..." His teeth begin to show as you crash down from your high, you hadn't actually thought of whether or not you would need to talk to someone other than a friend about where you were going... surely Riddle would have mentioned something if you did? Or did he not think to ask since he wasn't the adventurous sort? "I can't imagine how the Headmage would react to know his ward had been sneaking out to terrorize the local wildlife."
"Hey Brenda started it!" You snap and Jade looks briefly towards the treeline where a very indignant bear is pursing her lips and inspecting her claws, the very picture of innocence if he does say so himself. "She stole my sandwich while I was taking pictures of the sunset!"
"Maybe you should have had someone there to hold it for you." He laughs, finally moving from his spot towards you and your pack, eyes gleaming with familiarity as he looks over your things. "Perhaps, someone who would be willing to... forget about what he just saw if they accompanied him next time?" It's a threat using what gives you joy against you certainly, and you huff indignantly at it but don't deny his request. Jade is an eel of his word, and his joy at doubling the Mountain Lover's Club membership cannot be contained as he ushers you the rest of the way down the mountain, eager to plan your first expedition together.
Not that he intends to ever delete the pictures he took. Your angry face is just too cute.
183 notes · View notes
fantasy-relax · 4 months
Text
Sweet Alpha Dangerous Omega
Part 11 Part 12
“Hmm.”
Relia was carefully reviewing your diagram for a new desk, your forty-fifth attempt, to be more precise. Upon returning to work, Relia decided to start in a very light way.
Leaving you in charge of Lady Dimitrescu new desk.
Easy.
You had one day to create the design and two to carry it out, you thought one day was too much to just do the design and now you were already in the afternoon of the second. Relia has rejected each of your designs for being too simple, inappropriate, too square, etc.
In this one you had decided to use a theme of ivy and flowers, as well as Lady Dimitrescu emblem.
Relia looked at you and your outline before smiling.
"Perfect! You combined comfort with beauty!”
You sighed in relief now you could start working.
“We just need to get the lady to approve it and we can start.”
You resigned yourself to having to do another forty more.
To your surprise Lady Dimitrescu was delighted with your design so finally the construction could begin, it was going to be a hard job because the staff had decreased, Relia had kicked them out of the workshop supporting her reason in front of Greta with the fact that in the workshop the slightest mistake could be fatal and an aggressive environment would only increase the risk. You were surprised when the remaining staff apologized, but you accepted without resentment, understanding were they had come.
The entire team spent the entire day measuring, cutting, carving and polishing; They were so focused in the work that Dorottea herself went to take them out of the workshop to at least have dinner, with Relia getting the biggest scolding.
“What do you teach these poor souls? “How do you faint from fatigue?”
“Draga mea you are exaggerating, for one day they go without eating they are not going to faint” Wrong answer.
The chef grabbed her wife by the ear, giving her a detailed explanation about the effects of fasting, the Master Carpenter looked at her team pleadingly.
The team, in a show of unity, completely ignored her and decided to eat before the head chef decided to do the same with them.
The kitchen staff handed you dish after dish, making your colleagues look at you with curiosity and slight envy. To avoid a bad atmosphere, you decided to joke.
"The food is delicious, but you have really spoiled me too much. Before, I could go up to three days without eating and now I can't go through one without nibbling on a snack." You said with a soft laugh, remembering how your resistance had decreased, the next time you mess things up your stomach would start growling in seconds.
“Do you come from a poor family?” One of your colleagues asked.
“Oh no, my father is a skilled hunter and my mother is a talented seamstress.”
"You don´t have siblings?"
“After my presentation they didn´t want to risk having another aberration”
There was an awkward silence for a few seconds before it was broken by your colleagues.
“Why did you go days without eating?” Her voice sounded uncertain.
Weird.
“Well, we should all contribute to our home, right?” You turned to look around, everyone nodded. “When I lived with my parents I would sometimes ruin the hunt because I would trip over the trap and cause the animal to escape” You rolled your eyes, you were too clumsy when you were little “As punishment my parents left me without food for two or three days” You took a drink of orange juice “And when I lived alone there were times when I didn't hunt anything so I could go a few days without eating” You were a better carpenter than a hunter.
Silence.
“You know I don't like bread very much, have my portion.”
“The soup is too thick; you can have it.”
“The meat stew is too spicy for me, here.”
Your colleagues gave you portions of their food while the kitchen staff heated up more this time offering to your colleagues as well. Before you could return what had been put on your plate you felt hands on your shoulders.
 “Eat” Dorottea said with a smile that gave off an aura of danger behind her Relia rubbed her ear gently while she bit into a piece of bread with teary eyes.
You gulped and bit into another piece of meat.
-------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------
Lady Dimitrescu examined her new desk in detail, looking from the base legs to the drawers.
Waiting for her final judgement, the sweat on your back wasn´t just from having carried the furniture to her office.
Gently touching the emblem carved in front of it you finally hear her speak.
“Excellent work, it seems that you haven´t made a mistake in choosing your successor”
"Of course, not my lady, my apprentice will be talented, but she never stops working hard and is always willing to learn from her mistakes." Relia almost broke your back from the slap she gave you, but you still can't help the smile on your face.
The matriarch approaches you and you reflexively fix your posture while maintaining adequate eye contact.
“Keep it up and one day you will be worthy of representing the house of Dimitrescu when Relia's retirement comes.” In Lady Dimitrescu eyes there was no sign of the contempt that you had seen since your arrival, in its place there was something that you learned to identify clearly from Relia…
Pride.
You swallowed and nodded, not trusting your voice.
"You can leave, take a day to rest as a reward, I have no doubt that you gave your maximum effort to meet the delivery date that I set for you" she said, walking away to take a seat.
“Why do you think that, my lady?”
“Dorottea send you to sleep on the couch” It was said as a fact.
“She take care of my stomach but not my back” The master carpenter responded by rubbing her back, the pain surely was getting worse after having carried the desk.
The lady rolled her eyes.
“Rest”
With a slight nod both left the room.
“Well done” Relia patted you on the shoulder, with the same gentleness as before, but you accepted the contact happily. “I'm going to see if I can reduce my sentence, rest”
Walking towards your room, you could feel your alpha jumping with joy at being recognized by the pack leader of the omega of your interest.
Maybe if you showed how useful and helpful you were to her family, Cassandra's hatred for you would lessen a little.
Maybe.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
“You mixed up some words, you're missing a lot of accents and commas, your handwriting isn't that bad, your understanding is what worries me” You weren't a scribe, but you weren't illiterate either. “You don't read much, do you?”
“No Lady Daniela” Ugh she didn't like it when you made that face, she felt like she was kicking a puppy. “In my childhood, books were not within my reach and I prioritized my survival instead of education in my adulthood.”
Daniela frowned, it was easy to assume that your life in the town wasn´t the best, you lived far from society in a decrepit cabin, your body was full of scars and you were far too docile.
It didn't paint a good picture.
Sighing, she got up from her seat to go to the shelves full of books looking for one suitable for your level, when she found it, she returned to the table.
"Here"
"Children's and Household Tales”
“I'm not going to make you read an entire novel to begin, we're going to go little by little, read each story and write what you think about each one, you have three days to do it”
“Shall I take it to my room?”
“Well yes, it's easier this way, you read in your free time and apply what you learn in my classes”
“I will return it without a scratch, Lady Daniela.”
“Only Daniela is fine”
“But Lady Bela told me that-”
“I'm giving you permission; you can call me Daniela”
“Um…Thank you Daniela”
“Much better, now I'll help you with one and you can do the rest.” Getting up, she sat next to you, smiling as she felt how you approached her as discreetly as possible. It was nice how you pursued physical contact no matter how small it was. “Start.” She said as she grabbed your hand.
Her smile grew as she felt your thumb caress the back of her hand.
---------------------------------------------
“The lessons you have had with Daniela this week have helped you considerably.” Reviewing the exams you had taken; Bela could notice the difference in your writing.
“Daniela is a very good teacher”
“Just Daniela? It seems like you've forgotten your manners.” Dani most likely gave you permission to call her by her name, but it was fun to fluster you
“She gave me permission, I not disrespectful, I swear!”
“Hmm I feel a little offended, I am the one who has spent the most time with you, but she is the one who has gotten closer to you, tell me puppy, do you hate me?”
"No! You have been very patient and understanding with me, you have so many responsibilities and yet takes time out of your schedule to teach an aberration like me, how could I hate you?
“You're not an aberration” Bela almost growled the word, hating how you could denigrate yourself so easily.
You tilted your head in confusion, before speaking.
“Lady Bela, do you have any idea why it is almost impossible to find alpha women and omega men in the village?”
“The presentation process in these cases, in addition to including fever, also includes body change, the genitals mutate to adapt to the sub gender that is presented, which causes tremendous pain and intense bleeding, causing the person to die from shock.” This is what she had found in the few books on the subject.
“Correct, but not everyone dies during presentation, if you have a healthy body the chances of surviving increase now if you add the use of medicine to reduce fever and pain the chances increase more, however, having an omega son or an alpha daughter is considered unlucky so the parents just let them die.”
“Mother Miranda condemns infanticide; it is the worst sin that can be committed against her and the Black God”
“Dying during the presentation isn´t uncommon and to avoid further pain the parents decide not to have more children, the rest of the town offers their condolences for the natural death and life continue”
Bela frowned in frustration, without injuries or witnesses, the parents couldn´t be blamed, the fact that there were parents who let her children, kids, die in such a cruel way filled her with immense fury.
“My presentation was at five years old instead of ten, my parents thought the reason I was in so much pain was because of how young I was, my scent glands developed slowly as did my genitals when they realized I was going to present myself as an alpha, they stopped medicating me, but I had already gone through the worst.” Your gaze is lost in your memories. “They had no choice but to take care of me until I came of age, they gave me food, shelter and clothing” You smiled in a way that made her stomach twist. “They treated me much better than they should have, others like me ended up victims of accidents or misfortunes before reaching the age of fifteen” You shrugged “At least that's what the elders told me”
Your back was full of scars from wounds made by your own parents and for you that was a good deal.
I swallow. “You never found another alpha woman or an omega man?”
You shook your head.
“I didn't hear anyone present either.”
She had to talk to her Mother about all this. Seeing you sitting so calmly as if you had only talked about the weather and not about a horrifying situation, as if you had not admitted that your parents were willing to let you die….
It made her nauseous.
She closed her eyes, covering her face with her hand.
“Lady Bela, are you okay?” How could you care more about her than yourself?
She heard footsteps and felt your presence in front of her.
“Lady Be-”
She didn't let you finish, she pulled you towards her and hugged you.
“You are not an aberration or a freak, I forbid you to speak of yourself that way again” She declare firmly.
"But-"
"Forbidden"
You stood still with your hands at your sides.
“I give you permission to hug me” She hear you swallow.
"Sure?" Your voice trembled and she could hear the hope in it.
"Yes"
She felt your arms surrounding her back, you squeezed her tightly and your fingers dug into her skin.
It reminded her of Daniela after her attacks, her little sister always hugged her as if it were the last time she could do so, trembling with fear that she would disappear the moment she let go.
She tightened her grip when she felt the wetness on her shoulder.
---------------------------------------------
“Can I take her with me mother? Please say yes” Daniela was unbearable, it was her turn to hunt and she wanted to take the pathetic alpha with her.
“You really can't do it alone Daniela? I thought I had trained you better." Almost three months had passed without being able to go hunting or play in the dungeon and Daniela was begging to take the dog instead of helping her convince her mother to let her go even once. “If you need help I-”
“You nothing Cassandra, you're still grounded until further notice.” UGH her mother didn't give an inch. “Daniela, why do you want to take the alpha with you? You haven't had any problems going alone.”
“She also knows how to hunt, right? It would be a waste if her skills diminished by not using them” Skills? You were a coward who used traps instead of attacking head on. “The work in the workshop is less, it is not necessary for her to be there all the time”
“She's Relia's apprentice, honey she needs to be there” Cutting wood, sanding wood simple like your brain.
“The alpha has learned considerably Mother, she will have no problem missing for a few hours about what? three times a week” Bela being nosy as always. “She is a hardworking and efficient woman” HaRDworKING aND efFIciENT, doesn't she have other adjectives?
“Hm, the table she made for my office was perfect, as was the desk and my easel” What?!
“Mother, I had forgotten to tell you, I need a new easel, the one I have is broken.” Instead of wasting time playing with Daniela, you could be useful to her. “Sorry Dani, it looks like the pet will be busy.”
“Hahaha Cassie the alpha is more talented than you think, it won't take more than a day or two.” Her sister shrugged and whispered something that she heard clearly. “You would know if you spent more time with her.”
She decided to ignore the last comment "You know well that I won´t settle for trash, little sister, I won´t accept anything that doesn´t meet my standards." She does not mind waiting weeks as long as you give her what she wants.
“Even so, she can work on your order and hunt with Daniela.” Bela, she really doesn't get tired of meddling where she isn't called.
"You're right Bela, she can do both, plus hunting will serve as an outlet for her instincts." Which ones? The only alpha thing you have is the smell. “Although she has demonstrated excellent self-control, it is better not to risk it”
Greta interrupted the meal.
“My lady, Mother Miranda is on the phone.”
Her mother sighed, wiping herself with a napkin as she prepared to leave.
“Daniela, you have permission to take the alpha hunting, Cassandra, place your order at the workshop, I'll see you at dinner, my loves.”
Alone in the dining room, Daniela stands up pointing to the oldest of the three.
“In your face Bela, alpha will spend more time with me!”
“You do know that I help you, right?”
“Oh, right, thank you!”
“Besides, even though she spends more time with you, the clothes she wears are mine.”
*CRASH*
Cassandra smashed the wine glass in her hand.
“You clean this and bring me a glass soon” She ordered the maids in the dining room while she wiped her hand with the napkin.
“Are you okay Cass?”
“That's what I should ask you sister, have you lost your mind to let a commoner share your clothes? That explains why her putrid scent has stuck to you so much."
“I'm not sharing clothes; I gave them to her because there were any in her size and making her a uniform would take time” she shrugged without giving it importance. “Besides I have new clothes made by Aunt Donna; the scent must be because I spend so much time alone with her in my office.”
“Cassie, you're going to break a tooth if you keep clenching your jaw like that.” She loosened her mouth, which she had tensed because of her sister's impudence. “And the alpha doesn't smell bad, she smells like honey!” Too cloying for her taste, besides, what kind of alpha smells sweet? “Sometimes when she really likes a book, she releases her scent without being aware of it and remains impregnated in the library for a while, it's relaxing!”
“She also tends to release it when she sleeps and I agree, Dani, it's very relaxing.”
"Yes, and-"
The squeak of a chair moving interrupted the conversation, the two turned to look at the source of the sound.
“Are you leaving now, Cassie?”
“You didn't finish your plate.”
“Your stupid talk about her spoiled my appetite.”
Who cares about your scent?
Cassandra isn't interested, she doesn't care about you one bit.
She doesn't care about you; it just bothers her that her sisters spend so much time with you.
She doesn't care about you; she just doesn't like how her mother praises your work.
She doesn't care about you. She doesn't even think about how close her Heat is.
She doesn't care about you. She's not afraid of what her stupid omega will do the moment her instincts take over.
She doesn't think about you at all.
68 notes · View notes
comicaurora · 1 year
Note
Hello! I wanted to send my appreciation to you as a longtime fan of OSP and Auroura! I am an English Major with ADHD and your content always makes me inspired and my English Lit. Brain very happy with how good your storytelling is.
My question is what stories inspire you to write or make you want to sit down and tell a story? Your content makes me want to work on my projects, but my Adhd only last as long as I am not disturbed (i.e. need to eat or get up and move). You have always been upfront about your Adhd so my second question is how do you keep focused on your story and not burn out? (Talking as someone who is writing a novel as their thesis)
You have been a great inspiration over the years and someone I look up to as a storyteller! I wish you focus and luck! => 💝
Woo! Interesting questions!
When it comes to inspiration, I haven't really found a pattern for what works and what doesn't. The majority of the time, only new experiences/stories I haven't seen or read before work for me - rewatches and re-reads, while much more comfortable for my brain, don't tend to translate into creative inspiration for me - but it's not like a specific genre, or even a specific kind of relaxation, consistently work for me.
The way my brain works is a bit "no take only throw", as it were. I want to just sit down and make solid, steady progress in a predictable environment with a routine, but what I need is to try new things, go outside, take risks - because all those things give me new material to work with and refill the creative gas tank. When I'm stuck, I can't just hit the gas and punch through the block - I need to back up and try a new angle.
The good part of all this is that whatever engine that's running my subconscious is actually pretty good at signaling what it needs. The ADHD brain will be repelled by activities that aren't working for it and drawn to the things it needs at the time, whether that's creative energy or exercise or cleaning or doodling or listening to music or suddenly binge-watching a show that's not even all that great, and once it's got what it needs out of it - whatever that is - it'll be repelled again, either spitting out a sudden burst of creative energy or retreating to its den to chew on whatever it got out of the experience for a more slow-building reward. Little bursts of motivation and creativity pop up all throughout the day, and if you can pivot to the activity in question - or at least note down the idea you just had - you'll be able to harness that pretty nicely.
This "system" really only works for me because I have an extremely unstructured schedule and nobody relying on me to be consistent moment-to-moment. If I'm following the creative needs of my inscrutable Better Writer In The Back Of My Head, I can't be worrying about things like a consistent lunchtime or classes or a 9-to-5. All of my observations are caveat'd by the fact that I am ridiculously lucky to have the kind of freedom of movement and schedule that I can focus entirely on getting to know my brain better.
When it comes to staying focused on any one project, I've reluctantly concluded that the only way to win is not to play. Creativity needs time and diversity to recharge, and when you stall out in any given work session, it's usually because you're out of gas. This is why I maintain several projects in varying stages of "for my eyes only"-ness - a sketchbook, private writing projects, patreon doodles, music practice; even in the large-scale projects like the channel and the comic I have multiple angles of attack at any given time, where I can as needed switch between scripting, research, drawing frames, storyboarding more plot onto the end of the comic's current draft and lining/coloring/background-ing the finalized pages of the comic chapters earlier. This lets me maintain semi-steady progress on average, even if any one facet of the process is left by the wayside for potentially even weeks at a time.
If you're working on one writing project, one novel, I'd recommend giving yourself some time to do small-scale side-hobbies. It won't feel like they're helping, but they are.
I've started to think of inspiration rather similarly to the way I think about nutrition and digestion. It's a somewhat arcane process that, despite being a part of me, I don't exactly understand what's going on under the hood. If you eat only one thing, no matter what that one thing is, you're going to end up sick because you're lacking all sorts of niche micronutrients. If you parcel out a specific space of the only things you're allowed to eat, you might not get sick (as quickly) but you're likely going to become increasingly miserable as you think of the things you're not allowing yourself to try, or slowly build up highly specific forms of malnourishment by avoiding certain things entirely. But if you start listening to your body and try eating what it says it needs at any given time - oh, I could go for a rice bowl right now, oh I don't think I'm feeling something sugary today, man I could really go for some grapes - you're likely to hit a broadly good balance of health because you're hitting a broad range of things your body needs, even if you don't know all of their names or calorie counts, and your body is putting those resources to good use without your conscious input. Between my brain and my stomach, I only trust one of those to actually understand what a stomach needs to do its thing - and between me and my creative brain, most of the time it feels like I just work here.
I hope there was something helpful in all this!
272 notes · View notes
bonefall · 6 months
Note
i'm ngl depicting thunder's prosthetic as a burden is pretty uncomfortable even if it is something some amputees experience because like. there's a huge stigma around prosthetics already you know? it's like having a parent forcibly strap a child into a wheelchair when they don't need it and having a horrible experience with it and that being your only character in a wheelchair. some full-time wheelchair users do resent their wheelchairs but when that's the only time you're bringing it up at all it feels like you're playing into our society's perception of wheelchairs and mobility aids in general as useless and best and divine punishment at worst. idk do let me know if i'm wording this wrong because i really do love better bones! it's just that this detail is... strange.
I mean, I'm open to feedback if that's not something I should do-- but I do actually have other characters in prosthetics and mobility aids! A lot of them! Thunderstar's actually the only one who ends up rejecting his own, because I also wanted to depict that it's bad to force a device onto someone who does not want one.
Especially in circumstances like Thunder Storm's, where that sort of device would be actively unhelpful for his lifestyle. It might help in open field environments like moorland, but then I got more feedback and realized that it would just make a lot of unwanted noise in a forest (since cats have carpal whiskers to help them figure out where to place their paws). Then I figured it was a good way to show how BB!Clear Sky doesn't actually listen to his son's needs and acts differently when he's not "grateful" enough for his gift.
But he's far and away from the only one with a mobility aid or prosthetic!
I haven't figured out Frog entirely yet, but he's going to be the first cat with a "wheelchair" type device, to set up a long line of cats through the generations improving on it (Probably not much more than a reinforced canvas or durable leather, as this was the age of very early flax processing)
Wildfur's the next in the big advancements, even making the Great Journey in his own and getting a side story based around Littlecloud and Cinderpelt collaborating over this
The device is then improved upon by Jessy for Briarlight, giving her a level of independence and confidence that she needs to finally cut her mom out until she learns how to behave
Deadfoot has a brace for his front paw because the joint is loose (it was based on a friend's carpel tunnel bracelet) which is affectionately referred to as The Bonker; his name is also now an Honor Title (Old name: Hoprunner) for inventing a battle move by distracting with his good paw, and then SLAMMING his other limb down hard on his opponent. It's called "deadfooting."
I think mobility devices are super important, usually massively improve quality of life, and I just enjoy designing them, so the choice to portray Thunder Storm's as negative was a very deliberate one that I did in response to what I thought was a desire in representation. Even the fact it's a hind-leg prosthetic was thought out, since those have a much higher satisfaction rate in humans than hand prosthetics, but in a cat would probably be the opposite.
Still, I'm not missing a limb, so now with all of that context presented, do you still think the same thing? Should I just add even more limb prosthetics to make the ratio of satisfied prosthetic users vs Thunder Storm even steeper?
Sunlit Frost is actually going to have a bite on his good paw go septic (the other side has permanent damage from the fire). I could have that paw get amputated and have Thunderstar "return the favor" for how Sunlit Frost created the prosthetic he rejected by helping him build his own. A pawsthetic, if you will
OR would it be better to just remove the subplot of Thunder Storm grappling with/rejecting a prosthetic that is unfitting for him entirely, and have all prosthetics be 100% treated as positive in the narrative?
82 notes · View notes
agent-oo-z · 5 months
Text
Ok it’s been too long since I’ve spoken about BG3 headcanons. Instead of talking about my Tavs though I’m gonna talk about the companions!
POTENTIAL SPOILERS BELOW!
No Minthara because I have yet to recruit her in one of my games, sorry!!! I love her I just haven’t had the ability to play with her and all that.
Halsin
Halsin does not have sculpted abs. He’s got a stomach. I mean come on he’s literally a bear.
He loves talking about the ecology of the various environments you visit. He knows so much about so many plants and animals and fungi.
If you ask him to, Halsin will braid your hair for you. Social grooming is very important to him.
He loves to play with scratch and the owl bear cub in wild shape. He takes the shape of a wolf most often so he’s not too big.
Halsin keeps a nature journal! It’s like his own private version of inaturalist. He tracks the species he sees and where he sees them.
Gale
Gale is skinny and a bit toned during the start of the game, but as he is encouraged to take better care of himself he puts on some weight.
He is constantly asking Halsin about various creatures and Druidic magic. The man’s a nerd, he’s got so many questions and Halsin is kind and patient enough to actually enjoy answering them. They’re great academic buddies. When Gale becomes a professor he invites Halsin to give lectures on ecology and Druidic magic.
Gale has created spells that allow him to make a magic kitchen while on the road. This way he can use more than a campfire to cook.
He loves to stargaze and will point out his favorite constellations if you ask to join him.
Astarion
While he’s good at mending and sewing, Astarion enjoys making perfume far more. He eventually develops perfumes based on each of the traveling companions.
Astarion teaches the entire camp how to wash blood out of clothing and gear because someone has to. Also he refuses to do everyone’s laundry for them.
He often goes with Halsin to forage for herbs and flowers. It’s a chance to stock up on supplies for his perfumes and also to manipulate bond with the Druid.
Him and Shadowheart often discuss poisons together. They have a secret game early in the adventure where they say how they would poison each member of the group, what poison they would use, and why. When both of them start to feel accepted and cared for they switch to talking about what poisons best represent the group members instead.
Shadowheart
She spends a lot of time at camp by herself, even after rejecting Shar. She values alone time. It also allows her a chance to process what has happened to her and what she has lost.
Scratch sleeps with her most nights after he joins the camp. At first she’s annoyed by it(a ‘pet’ distracts from her mission) but it’s not very long before she’s cuddling with him.
Shadowheart collects trinkets after converting. She wants to surround herself with things she enjoys.
Lae’zel
Since she travels with a grindstone, Lae’zel helps everyone maintain their weapons. Not out of kindness at first, but because her allies being weak and having subpar gear makes her weak. Eventually tho she teaches everyone how to do it themselves to help them be stronger(and because helping people care for their weapons is a friendly gesture).
She develops a special bond with Gale and Shadowheart, as all three were manipulated/used/abandoned by their deities. She doesn’t exactly know how to support the others as the process things, but she is Faerun’s greatest hype man and constantly reminds them that the gods were cruel and foolish for what they did.
Lae’zel and Halsin help each other maintain their braids. Hers are more intricate and decorated but Halsin is more than able to put them in properly.
Wyll
Wyll spends a lot of time with Karlach after he refuses to kill her. At first because he wants to apologize for hunting her and prove he can be trusted, then after the transformation for advice on how to live life with horns, and finally because he just loves to spend time with her.
While he wasn’t exactly “shy” before his transformation, Wyll starts bathing last because his own body has become unfamiliar and he no longer feels comfortable being seen without at least a shirt and some pants on.
When the others realize that he’s struggling with his body more than he lets on they do their best to help in their own ways. Karlach teaches him how to care for his horns properly, Halsin helps him learn how to braid his hair around them, Astarion finds clothing that is not only comfortable and modest but also makes him look really good, Lae’zel helps him adjust to the change in his center of gravity by sparring with him, and Gale tracks down books about teifling/fiend anatomy for him to read.
He’s really good with children. When Arabella and then Yenna join the camp he spends his evenings keeping them company, telling them stories, playing with them, etc. Karlach often joins him.
Karlach
She makes use of her unnatural heat to help with as many things around camp as she can. Drying clothes, cooking, heating water for bathing, being cozy when it’s especially cold, etc. because if she can do good things with the engine it feels less like a curse.
Once she can touch people safely, she spends almost an entire evening just cuddling with as many people as possible. It starts with just Scratch and the owl bear cub. Then Halsin joins. Then she goes to find the others for hugs. Astarion jokes about how the two of them could probably reach normal temperatures if they just hugged for long enough.
She and Lae’zel bond quickly through their sparring. The two joke back and forth in their own ways and it confuses the other companions at first, because basically no one else has had a chance to learn Lae’zel’s sense of humor.
Karlach collects the various teddy bears and plush toys they encounter on the journey. Having nice, soft, cuddly things to curl up with makes her feel safe.
Jaheira
She knows how to get you fucked up beyond your wildest dreams. Smoking with her is an ORDEAL.
Jaheria speaks to the younger party members like they’re her kids. This doesn’t become clear until they visit her home, however, at which point said companions have various reactions(Karlach loves it, Lae’zel does not).
Minsc
Minsc quickly joins the sparring sessions. He also starts wrestling matches.
He can often be found having seemingly one sided conversations in camp, apparently talking to boo. The topics of these chats are vast and varied. Gale once heard him discussing the various meanings of different flowers in bouquets according to flower language.
113 notes · View notes
adviceformefromme · 1 year
Text
What is being called in this month vs whats being left behind:
Not only is it a new month, but also a change in seasons, the perfect opportunity to reflect and realign. 
What’s going out: 
Social Media: Just imagine how liberating it feels to finally be done with checking your phone? To no longer loose precious hours of your life, scrolling. Deleting the apps and not being part of the crowd feels so freeing and exclusive, like you just went to pilates, received a gorgeous bunch of flowers, and copped a new dress for your Thailand trip…and it’s all for you. Life feels so much more personal. No one else in your business. No fronting, no taking 20 shots to get the perfect one to post. No comparing your life to others. There is no extra energy being directed at you because you no longer partaking in the circus. 
Rushing & Stressing: It might seem unimportant to highlight this fact, but the stress on your body from constantly rushing and panicking can actually cause sickness. The stress hormones in your body go into overdrive, and overtime this can cause serious harm. Besides that who wants to be that rushed, stressed out woman? Is she who you aspire to be? If not, what shifts do you need to make so your day is better organised? This new season is replacing stress with peace.
Subscribing to a life that is not in alignment: You know in your heart what you love, the environments that nurtures you, the weekends that fill your heart. But somehow...you choose to live a life that rejects your hearts desires. You settle. Why waste your life, going to pubs and drinking when you really want to be sipping herbal teas and hiking mountains on the weekend? Why subscribe to an office job because everyone else is when you really want to be volunteering for a charity in Nepal? The power is in your choice. The change may not happen overnight. But the change needs to happen, to be in motion. Saying no to what doesn’t feel right in your life, will create new space for what truly sets your soul on fire. 
What’s coming in:
Nourishment on a whole new level: It’s always sickness that causes us to really value health. But, why wait. Investing in your health to ensure you feel at your very best will benefit you in ways you can only dream of. You sleep better, your skin is brighter, your levels of respect for yourself are so much higher because you are FULLY invested in your wellbeing. You make smarter food shopping choices, you educate yourself about what nourishes you. You carve out time to listen to your body. What does it need? What needs to be healed? Boys, drama, gossip? No time for that, you are too busy reading up on Ayurvedic medicine and at your yoga class. You deeply love yourself, and it shows through your levels of self-nourishment.
Strong boundaries with the people in your life: That emotionally unstable friend that dumps all her traumas, worries, stress on you to the point that it's effecting your energy. Create a boundary. The guy you went on a date with that keeps yo-yoing in and out of your life. Create a boundary. The other friend that keeps cancelling last minute, create a boundary. The difficult thing about boundaries, is that often we have never been taught how to make them. What does it even look like to tell someone they are SEVERELY affecting your day, your mood, your entire life without raging or hiding in a corner? Learning what your needs are is a good starting point. What do I need from this person? You have all the answers within. Learn better boundaries, so people around you don’t get the better of you.  
Carving out time for soul passions: Life will be life, the day will be filled with the usual, work, study, cleaning, eating, washing, seeing people. But what about you? What about that little fire inside you that needs some kindling? It might need you to start writing, to maybe wake up a little earlier so you can carve out an hour to pour into your passions. The more you do this, the more the fire inside you will grow, you are feeding your soul, you’ll feel better, and the guilt of not listening to your inner voice will no longer haunt you. There’s no more sleeping on yourself, this season is for the soul. 
246 notes · View notes
lenaboskow · 4 months
Note
If you truly believe that Tommy hasn't changed, why would Chim and Hen keep hanging out with him (Bobby Begins Again)? Also, there's the fact that Tommy, for the most part, wasn't an instigator. Rather, he tried to keep to himself and not be involved. It's clearly a shitty thing but no uncommon, especially in toxic work environments. Was he dickish? Sure, would Chim think highly of somone openly racist? Based on the latest episode (spoiler: his interaction with Gerrard) he clearly uses the words "good to see you haven't changed" which I think it's intentional to show that Tommy (unlike Gerrard) changed.
You're entitled to your opinion, and you can also hate Tommy for no reason. No one is going to force you. I think saying you just hate him for no reason would be better than trying to build a narrative that the show clearly disputes. Last but not least, Lou giving his headcanons for the character he portrays isn't that uncommon. In fact, many actors do, and it helps them get more into character.
lol i wasn't going to answer this but then i read the "wasn't an instigator" line and i just had to. let's take a look at some of the things tommy said or did in the begins eps...
in chimney begins, he starts by saying "did you forget to tip the delivery driver?" though not explicitly stated, it's implied to be racially motivated because they had ordered chinese food, and chimney is asian. then he proceeds to actively participate in the isolation, once saying "you still here?" to chimney as they return to a call. the most notable time is during the locker room scene where chimney is trying to reach out an olive branch, and tommy actively pushes it away, saying he doesn't think about chimney enough to hate him, but if he did he was sure he would. the only time chimney gets a semblance of an apology is after he saves tommy's life, and that's a messed up way of thinking, no matter how you spin it.
then, we have hen begins. oh boy. gerrard makes comments to hen, and chimney stands up for her, while tommy is standing by letting it happen (this isn't instigating, but it's a notable mention). then, we have "new york bitchiness is a compliment?" which, wow okay. that entire meal he participated in the conversation while chimney tried to drive it away. finally, i know a lot of people think tommy was the one to turn gerrard in, but the way he looked pissed off in hen's speech at the end, and the way he looked like he didn't want to apologize makes me think otherwise.
i don't know what happened off screen for hen and chimney to be friends (or at least civil) with him now, but i do know that recent events have shown tommy is still the same dickish (your words) person he was in the begins episodes, this time without the racist and sexist undertones. some examples include, but are not limited to:
calling buck "kid" and telling him in a condescending tone that eddie was allowed to have more than one friend
the closet comment
leaving buck at the curb the way he did
the bachelor party
the way he acted at the ceremony (looking like he was waiting for buck to stop talking and "enjoy it while it lasts)
so i think it's safe to say i'm not just "building a narrative". the show is proving that tommy is still the same person he was before, he just toned it down.
finally, i'm not even going to touch lou because that story is rapidly developing and i can't keep up.
52 notes · View notes