#I hate how I drew the flag but whatever

[wprostvii]

Happy (late) Poland’s Independence Day !!

[ya-what--ya-erster]

How to Dance in Ohio thoughts for y'all

The red flags durring Slow Dancing asdjfhaksjdfah YES

Shoelaces? Books about Pangea? 10/10 flirting

I cried when Mel's boss yelled at them, I cried during Nothing At All, I cried durring Waves and Wires

I believe every actor in the show will continue on to do great things

THE ARTICLE I was gonna punch someone at that point I was so angry

Person in front of me: it's a show about autistic kids Me: The Police: so can you tell me what happened? Me: they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Sad that I will probably never see this show ever again

When people cheered for Mel or Remy ever my mom got all angry and tense and it was funny

I found it in myself to cheer for kings and queens being heteronormative right there in front of my mom and she hated me but whatever

MEL AND ASHLEY SHOULD HAVE KISSED AT THE END OF REINCARNATION PLEASE AND THANK YOU

The whole performance of Nothing At All, lighting and everything, was so perfect and I loved it

Sorry, sorry, not sorry <- reminded me of Six

It was so sad/funny/lots of emotions when Drew showed up to the dance that nobody else could make it to

I am a MAN (jk I am a minor) but I would so dress like Caroline like dying my hair pink right now

"You really want to dance with her that bad?" "YES"

The disco ball was beautiful

I related hard to Mel feeling abandoned by Ashley cuz I've had those experiences before

The part Mel and Remy sing in Butterflies after kings and queens are mentioned, sort of says to me that they feel like they don't belong in the conversation, because the idea of a king and queen excludes them (im not messing this order up in my head am i?) like I just wanted to scream "AND AN OVERLORD" cuz like yes there needs to be another option

Mel and Ashley should have kissed at the end of Reincarnation

Drew's e-mail to Dr. Amigo ashfjhadf I laughed so hard like the different ways of reading it uh yes please (that's what my brain does w/ everything lol)

I wanted to hug every single actor in the show with permission but unfortunately I was too scared to ask lol so I just stood awkwardly

I got to see the real-life Caroline at stage door and it was really cool!

I am so so grateful for the existence of this show, and I want to say thank you so much!!! I felt so seen and understood, even if only for the time I was in the theater.

I was so happy about the signs by the bathrooms (though of course I still used the ladies restroom) that said to go where you feel comfortable.

All honesty, this show showed me the good in my world. All the way around.

I have officially typed way more than I should have but let me say one more thing which is that I am about to spiral into my fanfiction phase for this story so prepare yourselves guys my Ao3 is micah_loves_sweaters if you want it lol

[barzfrommarz]

c!wilbur headcanons for @dynamitedarlingg

-during a breakdown in pogtopia, he went to go burn the original lmanburg flag but stopped himself. Opted for burning pieces of paper with the lmanburg flag drawn on instead

-(aroace c!wil propaganda incoming) after revival he tried to force himself to feel romantic/sexual attraction because he wanted to feel like a normal human again and that is how everything with c!quackity started. He only snapped out of it when they got drunk and hooked up and woke up in his bed like “wait a minute…”

-Favorite snack is goldfish crackers (i’m eating some while writing this)

-Has a tic where he throws his head back and brings his arms into like a “rawrrrr” position like he’s trying to scare someone. Think during the dance scene in the wendnesday show where wednesday is dancing and looks up to the ceiling and her arms are moving side to side kinda in that position. Everyone thinks he’s either joking or making a piss poor attempt to scare them and it’s really embarrassing for Wilbur

-Had a major goth phase as a teen to rebel against phil. He doesn’t dress the part but he still considers himself a goth and the Lmanburg uniform was somewhat inspired by gothic aesthetics 

-Used to hate halloween but it’s now his favorite after revival because he doesn’t have to try as hard to look presentable to others 

-Pretends to hate asmr but actually loves it. Sometimes if he exhausts all his other options to try and fall asleep he will use asmr and it always works

-Hates his crow wings because he feels like they make him look like his father. Purposely got them clipped some point during lmanburg and excused it by saying it would make him less of a target in war

-He can somewhat shapeshift. Mostly stays human/a crow but sometimes will give himself fox ears and a tail because he secretly wishes he was one instead of a crow. Could also explain why c!fundy is a fox 

-He explores all art mediums. Drawing has always been a way for him to visualize his emotions since he sometimes has a hard time identifying them

-Ashamed of his scars and stitches. tries to use foundation to cover them up but it never works and everyone can tell he’s wearing it

-Was a huge theater and band kid in middle-high school. Wished he went for a career in acting or music first instead of the president of a random country on a random secluded island in the middle of the ocean

-Burned all the music he wrote and recorded during his days on the smp on cds. He plans to one day release some of them in an ep but he’s saving it for when he truly feels he has healed enough to handle it

-He struggles with pain seeking stims. He picks at his skin, bites his hands and fingers and pulls out hair 

-He never cries infront of others. He only did once infront of Tommy and Quackity when he was told people use his name as a way to imply someone is being crazy/irrational. (this was inspired by a comic I saw basically doing that I forgot who drew it) ((he also swears up and down it doesn’t upset him after the fact)) (((Idk I just think something like that would really get to him esp since he tries so hard not to be like how he was in pogtopia)))

-I like to think c!wilbur is an empathetic person but he struggles with showing it especially after he was revived. He thinks it makes him look weak or vulnerable so he keeps it to himself and this makes him look more like a major asshole than he already does 

-When no one is around, he will do childish activities like hop scotch or watching cartoons because it strangely helps him calm down and unwind 

-His diet after revival consists of. Mac and cheese, instant mashed potatoes, all meat besides ham or bacon with a stupid amount of seasoning, plain white rice (sometimes with soy sauce), whatever fast food he serves (but only as a treat). Mostly just simple things because he can’t be arsed to make himself a good meal like phil did for him when he lived with him before starting the burger van

-He sleeps in the burger van on the floor with one pillow and a scratchy blanket. No one knew this until he forgot his coat at last nevadas and Quackity saw him like that when he went to bring it back to him. He ended up offering Wilbur a hotel room to sleep in for the night because he felt bad. Wilbur declined because he felt like he was being mocked 

-If the game WEBFISHING existed in the dsmp universe, you would not see Wilbur for days because all he wants to do is fish and forget about life

-Actively goes out of his way to cook and eat every salmon he catches. It makes him feel empowered 

-Either rides a bike to get around or drives a motorcycle. He doesn’t wear a helmet when riding either 

YIPPEE THATS IT KEEP THE ASKS COMING PEOPLE (but give me a bit to get back in my thinking chamber)

[l00na24]

I Got Your Six - Chapter 6

Warnings: From this chapter onwards, there will only be a general warning to avoid spoilers! The story contains mature content and if you keep reading, you agree that you can handle it!

Word Count: 11.5k

A/N: We're back :D This time with a huuge one thanks to me not being able to keep the intro as short as I wanted and just couldn't cut the entire thing for reasons... you will probably see why 😅

Enjoy reading! 😋

29 Minutes later, 7:01 PM, Brazil

After I don’t know how many miles because I eventually stopped counting, we finally reached the place we agreed to meet. It seemed an eternity away with how long the drive still was until we were there, not helping my thinning patience at all.

I couldn’t remember the last time when I was so on edge than right now and I hadn’t even met them yet. Every nerve in my body was literally on fire and my stress level past every limit already, like we were on a mission completely gone out of control. For those who knew me absolutely no good conditions for a confrontation like this, especially with my past. But I covered it with the masquerade I had improved to perfection, to hide my rapidly diminishing confidence and all my previous accumulated anger turning into an even faster rising anxiety with each passing second. I wouldn’t let anyone see my weakness.

When our vehicle came to a slow stop, I wished we would have had at least still hours to drive instead of being here. Not making an effort to move when the three boys exited, I drew in shorter breaths and flinched slightly when I heard the car doors closing. My head coming up with something I thought I had buried a long time ago only to surface in the worst possible moment.

Loud shouts, motor sounds, car doors opening and closing with a bang from the force, the movements of a car…

Shit. I couldn’t get a panic attack right now. I’d get through this, whatever it took. It’s just a job like any other.

Lying to yourself won’t help you.

It was far from it.

Willing my breathing to even out a bit and shaking my head to get rid of these unnecessities, I opened my door and got out after I had unbuckled my seatbelt. The men of our team were patiently leaning against one side and the hood of the car, giving me the needed time until I was ready to make the first step.

As soon as they heard me leaving the last temporary safe space I’d get for tonight and shutting my only opportunity to escape, their eyes shifted to me. Ignoring the discomfort it caused, I tried to act totally unfazed by the very situation I had tried to run from for all these past years because I knew I couldn’t face it.

The truth was: I was scared shitless. How they would react, how they would look at me, what they would say, if they would do anything at all…

With an unusual hesitation I forced my feet step for step forward, fighting with all the strength I had left against the impulse to run away yet again, but with the significant difference it was amplified at least ten times more now than before. An unmistakable red flag of my body I was about to cross a line I shouldn’t, under no circumstances.

You can’t always run away. No one will come to help you, this is alone YOUR own fault.

It was an open secret that my boys could see right through the false facade I had put up and the smallest movements I made, from the uneven rise and fall of my chest to my fingers starting to nervously twitch and shake.

-

Sensing the waging battle the girl of their group was fighting with herself internally when she followed soundless behind them, Alex wanted nothing more than to put her out of this agony she carried with her for far too long. Hating to see the various indicators written all over her and being forced to helplessly watch how it continued to destroy what was left of her, if there even was still something. He had enough about pretending that everything was ‘okay’ when they could see it clearly wasn’t. Not this time and not now in this absurd situation they had been thrown in.

Normally he was the person instilling fear on his enemies but right now he felt it creeping up his spine and every thought went in circles around the most important question: What if this broke her for good? If she wouldn’t recover from this?

There was no way in hell he would let that happen, Alex owed it to his best friend he had known since childhood to protect his girl and be there for her. Maybe he wasn’t doing it entirely for him if he was honest but a little for himself too… but this wasn’t important right now.

The top priority was to shield her from the possible damage these five people could cause. And he’d do everything in his power to make sure of it. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt her even more than she already had been.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to…” Our group halted when Alex turned around to me, gaining the attention of his brothers beside him and mine. The care on honest display, unfortunately for him, hit a nerve because I couldn’t stand it in my current state, not able to accept it.

“You can’t protect me from everything!” I blew up at him with a hateful glare before he had fully ended, the pressure I was under mixed with my anxiety getting the best of me and announcing itself in an uncontrolled outburst. Immediately regretting my reaction, I cast my sight downwards to avoid the result edged on his face. I didn’t intend to strike right the point I knew would hurt him the most but it was my natural defense mechanism kicking in.

“Sorry.”

They shouldn’t care about me at all and they shouldn’t hold onto me so much like they did, trying with everything they had to keep me off the ledge I was continuously seeking. They deserved everything but me. If I wasn’t here, they would probably live a happy life and their best friend would be still alive. I never wanted to drag them down with me in this hellhole but fate obviously had a different opinion, wanting to punish them for not giving me up and yet none of the boys did even consider it in the slightest. How could they be so foolish?

Sometimes these three were too smart for their own good, the cracks in my defense visible to them as if a light would make me stand out to call out my false play.

It took not more than a short exchange of their sights to have the same thought.

“Come ‘ere.” Mick spoke up and beckoned me with a hand gesture over to him, spreading his arms to the sides in the process.

Not sure what he aimed to accomplish with this, I stood there a little baffled while I contemplated what I should do and trying to gauge his intentions behind it. I was in no mood for any kind of empathy.

“You really wanna leave me hanging here?” He asked when I still hadn’t made a move, pulling up his best sad look and tilted his head with raised eyebrows in hopes it would convince me. He knew exactly what he did. Little shit.

There was nothing I hated more than to see them sad or hurt, especially if it was because of me and if he had gambled on that, his plan was working.

Reject him. Don’t. Give. In.

Letting out a huff, I came to him and put my arms hesitantly around his body. Laying the right side of my face carefully on his chest, assuming he offered himself for a hug.

“See? Isn’t that bad, is it?” Putting one hand on the back of my head to stroke it slowly and the other respectfully on the side of my waist with the utmost care to not place it too far backwards to keep the lines in which I allowed them to touch me.

I couldn’t deny his simple gesture was actually relaxing my nerves a little bit.

“So… we all know I’m not good with this emotional stuff but…-” Mick began after a moment, only to be cut off by Luc.

“Horrible is more accurate.” He corrected him with a smile directed toward me, making a little wink at the end.

“I’m trying to cheer her up, dude! Can you not butt in?” The man currently holding me to his large body retorted in a fake offended tone before he continued, focusing back on me.

“Where was I? Ah! Right, as I was saying… regardless what they say or do, it will not change anything between the four of us. You have my word, okay? Forever and always. Like we promised, little wolf.”

At the mention of the nickname my gaze shot up in lightning speed till it met his, my face blank. I could feel him tensing up a bit, probably because he wasn’t sure how I would take what he said and if he was overstepping a forbidden boundary.

I hadn’t been called this term in literal ages, but it was engraved in my brain for eternity. The very name he had used to tease and mock me in the beginning or when he made fun of me or… to express his affection between the lines.

Mick felt my hold tighten slightly and took it as a good sign, also since I hadn’t pushed him away from me yet, which was very likely to happen at any given moment depending on what he would do. The odds for it happening were even increased given the situation, so he had to navigate his every move very carefully if he wanted to avoid this scenario and ruin everything.

“Remember what he used to say? ‘The strength of the wolf is the pack.’ And we’ve been one ever since you came to us. That’s exactly what we gonna show them. We are all standing behind you on this and won’t leave your side.” It wasn’t a common occurrence of somebody making me speechless but right now Mick had managed to do exactly that. I had forgotten how good with words he actually could be if he wanted, reminding me not to underestimate his diplomacy skills similar to Luc’s.

But what was a pack without its true leader?

The ‘goofball’ out of the four, as she had so fittingly named him after his best and also worst trait, couldn’t watch her struggle any longer. If he could take the smallest amount of weight off her she carried, he would do it without a second thought and give her some air to breathe to keep her from drowning.

He had made it his personal mission straight from the start, but even more so after the tragic loss they had suffered - especially her, to preserve and keep that spark inside they had seen in her. Even if it was through the faintest hint of a smile, real or not, all effort put in was worth it regardless. And whatever he or his brothers had to do to stoke those flames their former leader had ignited in her, they would be there to keep them alive, 100%. They would keep her alive.

That’s why he was the self-proclaimed backbone of the team, with his ever positive and lively personality but also blunt directness. Always a cheeky comment on his lips to lift the mood of the situation and his teammates. He was the unmatched motivator out of them, despite his comical and non-serious, or what some people called annoying, appearance. The lightness he carried with himself a huge benefit for everyone when they needed it, as well as his seemingly unlimited energy that had been equal with their captain’s, after their girl had enhanced it in Vic.

“You know, you could at least pretend I’m doing a good job here.” Mick whispered lowly to me, attempting to convey his message inconspicuously, so nobody would notice but being caught red handed the second he opened his mouth, not acting suspicious at all of course.

“Feel the fear, let it be your friend and it will guide you. Don’t be afraid of it.”

It didn’t take long till I couldn’t tolerate his hug any longer, retreating myself from his embrace without a word when he got the hint and reluctantly withdrew his arms to give me space. The second person close to me I disappointed in a matter of seconds. I could make a world record with this.

“You’re right. Let’s show them that no one fucks with us.” I said when I had brought some distance between us and walked past him down the way leading to the bar. Letting them know I was done talking.

-

Mick blinked a few times in her direction, not quite sure if it was the reaction he had been aiming for. He had believed he had done everything right, had been careful enough, well, maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned the last part, but how fast the situation had taken a complete turn and his well-meant support ricochet back left him dumbfounded. He should have been used to it by now since it wasn’t the first occasion this happened, but none of them probably would ever get used to her unpredictable, fast-switching duality from one moment to the other.

“You only wanted to help, she knows that. It’s not on you.” Luc followed his friends’ gaze to the back of their girl with concern in his narrowed eyes. His sneaking suspicion, he had hoped would prove itself wrong, turning out to be true more and more. There would be nothing they could do to prevent the inevitable if it was what he thought, from his knowledge all the signs she had shown pointed to it so far. Her more frequent, sudden mood changes out of the blue, the tension and nervousness in her body language, her touchiness in general, as well as most importantly, she shared way more physical contact with them than she would under normal circumstances. And this fact alone was more than worrying.

-

“Let it fulfill you.”

It had been the most terrifying lesson a certain person taught me, but it gave me the needed courage to fight back my anxiety as best as I could for now. To use it as a weapon instead of being used by my fear.

I hadn’t been on an endless amount of battlefields, ran too many times into hails of bullets, put my life on the line for enough people that weren’t even worth it, had made friends with death more times than I could count, ended lives without giving a shit about them and the amount of blood I had on my hands and hadn’t done unspeakable things, only to be brought to my knees now by the very men of my old team.

Nobody in the entire world would ever get me to break the one holy oath I’d die for before desecrating it: I wouldn’t kneel for anyone. Only my enemies will.

Entering the area of what I presumed was an outside bar, the first thing I did was carefully assessing the place. Spotting not much besides a lit-up area on the right looking like a combination of a bar and a market stall with two people sitting at the back of the bar and the barkeeper standing behind the counter. Regals full of various bottles lining the wall behind him just as a multitude of vegetables and fruits on the ground on the opposite side. Whoever would buy these things in the middle of literal nowhere.

To my left the actual bar, built on a wooden construct and a stairway on the right with some fairy lights hanging from the edge of the roof to give this shady appearing place a more trustworthy look. Its height and a fence made of thin planks of wood allowing to overlook the whole area from each table.

And then a car parked in between. The same car we had seen not too long ago.

Its sight alone making my stomach churn and heighten my senses to full alert. Not wanting to give it any more attention than I had, I kept moving forward while making sure to stay close to the bar to avoid getting noticed just yet from above.

As if on queue when I had crossed over half of the way, loud laugher from multiple people suddenly filled the air that instantly stopped me when I jerked away from the sound of the familiar voices and stripped me of every false confidence I had managed to gather up. Feeling the anxiety skyrocketing but also shifting into a mix of fierce anger and hatred directed at myself because I couldn’t even do the simplest thing. I was so pathetic.

“Is this all you got? Do you give up that easily?”

“Stop being so mean to her, Vic. Can’t you see she’s trying her best?”

“Trying is not enough, we’re not in kindergarten here. Do it better!”

My nails dug themselves into my palms at the memory.

Movement in my periphery snapped me back into the present, registering Luc, Alex and Mick who had walked past and blocked my way with their bodies. It was so unnatural to see them this tense, especially about the awaiting situation, both their posture and faces didn’t have the usual relaxedness I was used to and it stressed me out even more.

They were ready for battle and wanted to make sure I was too with this silent conversation between us before they would allow me to continue. My very last chance to back out of all this.

As always, the first nod came from Mick, shortly followed by Alex and then Luc, giving me their affirmation that they were only waiting for my “Go”. It was like they had known I had exactly needed this to give me the drive to move on and spur the wolf to get ready to pounce.

With the encouragement through my team, I took the time to take in a long, deep breath to gather myself before I gave them my confirmation with a firm nod of my head and sharing a last sight with each other for assurance about our next step.

Our engineer decided to take the lead as ‘the first line of defense’, Luc taking the second position after checking me up and down with his scrutinizing gaze before he left Alex with me who was waiting until I got going too before he went ahead last.

I couldn’t thank them enough for not forcing me into another verbal conversation and instead choosing the option that conveyed so much more than any word ever could and taking a bit of the pressure from me to have to express myself.

Just when we had reached the stairway, I came to a halt and looked upwards.

You finally get what you wanted…

Please be with me. I need you, I can’t do this without you.

Accepting I couldn’t delay the confrontation I had wanted to avoid ever since any longer, I forced myself to tear my sight away even if every fiber in my body resisted doing it. The emptiness I continuously felt came crashing down like a tidal wave above me without mercy, pushing me back under far out of anyone’s reach to the place I just couldn’t get out of no matter what I did. The very place I had never wanted to be in again after I was shown how it was to touch the sky on the other side. Until I got pulled back under and buried at the bottom with no life left to fight for.

Three sympathetic smiles were directed at me when I looked to the stairs in front, noticing a hand stretching out to me in the same moment. First I wanted to refuse Alex’ gesture but thinking for a second about it, what a bitch I was earlier and what it meant that he was still showing how much he cared about me when he offered to be the anker I could ground myself on – knowing what it took for me to even make this step – I didn’t have it in me to deny him.

Without much protest I reciprocated his gesture, feeling the warmth of his skin seep into mine and giving me some safety. The smile on his face stretched a tad wider when he had my physical assurance I wouldn’t shut him out again and let him help, returning it with his own and brushing a few times over my hand. We are here. You are not going through this alone.

“Don’t jump at each other’s throats.” With a quiet but steady voice I gave them my permission to engage, steeling myself and shoving all emotions in the dark corner where they belonged.

A quiet snort escaped Mick’s lips, conjuring a grin about the irony of my words. There were only two ways this was gonna go, either war or peace. There was no in between.

And knowing my boys, they wouldn’t even let them anywhere near me - not that I wanted it anyway.

I could only hope for the best and that they could control their temper because I would fight tooth and nail for those three and protect them with my life no matter who I was up against.

If any of my ex-mates dared to pick a fight with them, they had to survive the feared wolf first and then things would get ugly very fast – for them.

Let’s not get started if they found any of my triggers…

Before my thoughts could come up with every possible scenario, I chose to distract myself with something way more important, to check I had everything covered I didn’t want them to see while we were slowly ascending the stairs step by agonizing step. Making sure my braided ponytail was hiding most of the unmistakable, angry red scar on the right side of my throat before everyone’s eyes and my two necklaces were concealed under my black shirt. Going lower till the waistband of my jeans in the same color to find my gun and knife in the places where I had put them, ready to use in case anything should happen.

The grip on each other’s hand hardened when we reached the end and entered the bar, sharing a tight squeeze while we walked one after another in a row. All my senses automatically zeroed in on this very moment, making it almost impossible to keep up the mantra I was telling myself over and over.

I can do this. I can do this… I can… do this… I-

I stayed as close to Alex as I physically could to hide myself behind him in hopes it would give me more time until they realized who I was.

The paralyzing fear I had tried to fight in vain before came stabbing me in the back harder than ever and turned my body against me. Feeling like someone was squeezing my throat so tight I could barely breathe. Every step forward being at least a hundred backwards for my strength and self-confidence which had been so laboriously built up. My muscles moving on their own despite the weight manifesting on my feet.

“FIGHT! FIGHT BACK!!”

“Vic, it’s ENOUGH!”

“You’re so pathetically weak…”

Not daring to take a look from behind his back, I kept facing away from the scene to not cave in now and show everyone present how weak I indeed really was.

The atmosphere shifted as soon as we had stepped foot into the place, the one before a storm was about to break lose any minute with us in the epicenter. The hot and cold signals my body was sending me together with the humid climate didn’t do me a favor at all, the sweat clinging to me grossing me out and I wondered why Alex hadn’t let go yet and didn’t seem to care about the stickiness of my hand.

Was he regretting being here? Was he rethinking his choice of agreeing to this? Was he already hating me for dragging them into things they didn’t have to do anything at all with? Would they leave me as soon as we were done here to deal with my past alone? Were they only still with me because they thought they owed it to their dead friend?

What was I doing here? I should have never suggested this mission. What did I thought it would do? I should have ignored this god damn letter. I wasn’t supposed to even be here. Why couldn’t I just go back??

“Y/N?”

The moment my very name shot through the silence like a bullet, the chaotic whirlwind of thoughts was gone and I instantly froze into place. Not making any movement and praying I was mostly hidden for them, so they would hopefully ignore me thinking they had mistaken me.

But luck – fate – wasn’t on my side as always.

Of course they wouldn’t give me more time.

I couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer. It was over.

As slowly as I could I moved around, the hold on me tightening while I revealed myself and shared a fleeting glance with Alex who had his eyes already on me from over his shoulder.

I had to do this now. I wouldn’t cave.

I couldn’t run away anymore.

My pulse accelerated with every passing second and the only thing I wanted was to disappear, desperately clinging to my anker.

It was never meant to happen like this. In fact, it was never meant to happen at all if I could have helped it.

Forced to face the five men from my past after so many years spent to run from them, I hesitantly looked in their direction and deeply regretted it when five sets of eyes found mine. Bringing back up everything again, first and foremost the day I had left them.

Ben, Will, Santiago, Frankie and Tom were also brought back to the fateful events leading to the loss of the most important part of their team at the sight of the person they had never expected to see ever again before their very eyes…

8 years ago…

5:09 AM, Central America, Nicaragua

Moving uncomfortably around on the chair he was sitting in, Ben woke slowly from his sleep, stretching his limbs and blinking a few times with his eyes. It wasn’t definitely the best idea to try to sleep on the piece of furniture that was too small for his large body.

Noticing the room was still dark, he guessed it was still night, maybe close to early morning.

Trying not to be too loud and wake the other person in the room with him, he tried to shift into a more comfortable position and ease his muscles up he could feel hurting already from laying in this awkward position for probably a few hours.

Ben’s eyes automatically went straight ahead to the bed in front of him, checking if their girl was sleeping soundly under the covers he draped over her before he took the first shift of watching her. That in case something happened or she had a nightmare, one of them was there to help. Just in case. They would make sure they would be there this time.

Still mostly asleep and wanting to close his eyes and turn around again to get a bit more sleep, he listened for anything that would indicate a nightmare or that she wasn’t okay but the room was silent and he also couldn’t make out any violent movement on the bed through his half closed eyes. He was nearly off to sleep again as a thought hit him like a lightning strike.

The bed was empty.

His blue eyes shot open wide and his body followed, nearly tumbling to the floor in the process from jumping abruptly out of his seat in his sleeping but now wide awake state.

The dirty blonde’s gaze shot to the bathroom next, spotting the door wide open and no light shining. Looking back at the bed and trying to figure out if he was dreaming or not.

“Honey?” he asked in his rough and raspy morning voice, waiting for any form of response that never came.

Faster than light he ran over to the switch next to the door and flipped it on. The whole room illuminating and confirming his fear that felt like someone had just poured a bucket of ice water over him. There was no way she was gone.

Frantically he searched the room for anything that belonged to her, like her baggage she brought with her the first day but came up emptyhanded. Nothing. Not a single thing.

Ben had never felt anything like he was feeling now. First the whole thing hours ago and now this? It couldn’t get any more worse, right?

His heart was pounding hard against his chest as he ripped open the door, not caring about anything but her right now and bounding out to the one next to it.

“Guys! Open the fucking door! Wake up!” He screamed loudly, waking the whole hotel in the process.

His knocking only stopped when the door opened and his brother Will was standing before him, not knowing what happened to have Ben this wound up in the early morning hours but already on high alert.

“What the fuck, dude? What’s going on?” Blue eyes already searching each other.

“She’s fucking gone, man!” His little brother was not even waiting a moment to respond.

The opening of another door not far away could be heard and another voice joined them.

“Can you tell me, what you think you’re doing? You’re waking the entire complex, Ben!” Tom’s annoyed voice sounded from the other side of them.

“I just woke up and wanted to check she was okay but she wasn’t there!” Ben explained, making wild gestures with his hands and arms.

“Let’s not discuss this out here, come in.” Will said quietly and gestured with his head to Tom and Frankie to come over in his and Santiago’s room, who followed his request and walked over.

“You better have a good reason for this, hermano.” Santiago warned, sitting on the front of the bed he was previously sleeping till he got so rudely awakened by the young man’s screaming voice.

“We need to go look for her. Something could have happened or what if someone-?” Ben started again but was halted by his brother.

“Calm down, okay? Maybe she has taken a walk or just needed some fresh air.” He suggested, going already over all possible options in his head.

“What is even happening?” Frankie, the only one of the group that still hadn’t really caught on at was happening asked, leaning against the table on the wall and folding his arms.

“Y/N’s gone! That’s what’s happening and all her stuff too!” Benny shouted back, nervously running a hand through his strands.

Frankie’s eyes grew wide at the reply.

“Her stuff too?” He asked, not believing what he was hearing.

“Yes! Like she was never there in the first place!” The dirty blonde said, shifting constantly around on his feet.

Well, a walk was off the table with that. Will grinded his teeth together hard. This was not good, it was far from good actually. The way things had developed in the past hours only increased the boiling inside him further. Not knowing what was going on, being kept in the dark and things happening that were so out of character for the girl they were serving with for years now. Nothing of all this was making sense.

“Okay, we get it. Let’s all not make any hasty assumptions here.” Will tried to reason and keep everyone from panicking.

Santiago shook his head and angrily spoke something while standing up and shuffling around, probably some curse in Spanish.

“What are you doing?” Frankie eyed his brother.

“Getting ready to look for her, pendejo. What else?” He replied back and unzipped his bag on the ground in the corner to get some clothes.

“Fucking finally!” Ben breathed out and was ready to go, not wanting to waste any more time than they already had. Too much in his opinion.

“You can’t just walk out there like this. We’re still on a fucking mission!” Their captain decided to join in on the conversation to remind them that their reason for being here was not a vacation but way more serious and they still needed to be careful even if they were leaving today, or so it was planned.

“He’s right. We don’t know where she is right now and we can’t just aimlessly walk around here. And we also have a flight to catch.” Will backed up Tom’s opinion on their plan, looking around the group.

“What do we do then? I ain’t fucking sitting around waiting if she comes back or not and I don’t give a shit about that flight, I’m not leaving without her!” His little brother was clearly done with talking, his decision what he’d do already written on his face.

“If she left, someone must have seen her. Let’s try asking around first and see if we can find out anything that will help, okay? She couldn’t have used the car because I still have the keys, so she could’ve only left by foot or a cab.” The other Spanish man in the room voiced his thoughts to the group, trying to intervene before it escalated into a more heated argument.

Everyone looked at each other for a moment, exchanging looks before Tom nodded and straightened his position.

“Alright. Let’s get ready and meet downstairs in 10 minutes.” He confirmed with one more look around them before starting to move toward the door with Frankie and Ben in tow.

Not needing the full 10 minutes to get ready, the group met 5 minutes later in the lobby of the hotel.

“So what’s the plan now?” The younger Miller wanted to know, already scanning the environment around them in search of their missing girl.

“We split up and try to ask around. Stay in the building, we’ll meet back here in 20.” Tom explained and everyone nodded as confirmation before they began to split, each one taking a different direction to begin their search.

The Minutes passing by and still no success for each of them, Ben stormed annoyed past the lobby a second time. Huffing from the frustration that grew bigger by the second. They needed to find her. Right fucking now.

“Excuse me? Are you looking for something?” He heard a voice from behind.

Halting his steps, he turned around.

“Yes! Have you seen the girl that was with us when we checked in?” He immediately answered. Registering the female receptionist not far from him now, that was also there when they checked in the first day.

“Yes, of course I did. She paid and checked out already 4 hours ago. Said that someone would still be in her room that was supposed to check out today.” The young brown-haired woman answered politely, offering him a slight smile.

“She- What?!” Ben felt like his legs would give out underneath him at the revelation he just heard and all color left his face.

“Do- do you know where she went?” He choked out, trying to get as much information as he possibly could.

“She took one of the cabs outside but I don’t know where she wanted to go. Probably the airport with the baggage she had with her if you ask me. But that’s all I can give you, I’m sorry.” She elaborated and gave him an apologetic look. Sensing that there was probably a not so nice reason for her leave alone but not wanting to interfere with their privacy.

“That’s enough already, thank you so much!” He thanked the receptionist, turning around and walking a few steps back, tapping his feet impatiently while waiting for the boys.

A few minutes later, the rest of the group turned up at the lobby again where Benny was already burning holes in the floor with his shoes, finally stopping when his brothers came into view.

“She checked out 4 hours ago!” He told them before any of them could ask something.

Not expecting something like this all of them needed a second to process what they just heard. They felt like someone had punched them in the gut.

“Checked out?” Frankie repeated in complete disbelieve.

“Yeah, the receptionist there told me that she paid for the room already too and that she took a cab. Probably to the airport or somethin’.”

“She’d never go alone on a fuckin’ plane, man.” Santiago joined their conversation. Not believing their female teammate would go voluntarily near anything like that because of her anxiety.

“Where else would she go with all her stuff? Another hotel?” The younger Miller shot back.

“You said she took a cab, let’s go and ask the drivers then. I saw some standing outside.” Will said, already turning around to go outside and ask there.

Without protest the others followed hot on his heels, marching out with quick steps and looking for the cabs that waited outside the entrance of the building.

Starting with the first to their left, they moved down the line as a group, asking each driver if they had driven a woman from the hotel somewhere in the last few hours.

Ready to nearly give up, they came to the last one in line. Stopping and repeating their questions for the fifth time now in a matter of minutes, not really believing this one would turn out any different than the others.

“Let me think… hm, yes. I did, actually.” The driver, an older man answered, leaned next to his car.

“Where did you drive her?” Ben wasn’t sure if he should be happy or not, that they at least had a lead where she was now.

“She’s your girl?” The man eyed him questioningly, not sure if he could trust the men in front of him, considering the woman they were looking for seemed to have left them without their knowledge. Normally a clear sign to what this could be leading to.

“Yes, she is.” He answered without hesitation, not needing to think over what he was saying. For him she was and always would be his. No question. She always had been and he wouldn’t let anything change that. Even if he’d never admit it.

Catching the other guys a little bit by surprise upon his answer, they tried to compose their faces, so the man couldn’t see their reactions. All of them knew how Ben was feeling about the only girl in their team, there was enough history between them to tell what was going on. But hearing him saying it out loud, even in a different context, still caught them a little off guard.

“I really hope for you, that you and your friends didn’t do something to her. Otherwise I have to call the police.” The driver threatened them, narrowing his eyes at the group.

“We’d never, I swear! She’s important to all of us and we just wanna know where she went, so we can go and look for her.” Ben answered honestly and looked the man in the eyes with a seriousness you only see when he was in mission mode.

“You’d better. I took her to the airport, looked a bit off and wasn’t really paying much attention, being quiet the whole drive.” He finally told them, adding the little details he had noticed.

The boys exchanged worried and confused looks at that, giving them pause for a moment.

“Thank you, sir. You really helped us a lot!” The younger Miller thanked him and walked back in the hotel followed by the others, making a straight beeline to the elevator.

“Any ideas?” Santiago asked while pressing the button of their floor.

“Our flight’s supposed to be in 5 hours.” Will informed, always the one in the group to rely on when it came to numbers. Her time missing making his stomach turn more with each second he counted passing by.

“Fuck that, we’re going to the airport now!” Ben huffed, slamming his fist against the wall of the elevator in frustration.

“She’ll be alright, okay? It won’t help if we’re loosing it.” Frankie jumped in, patting his friends’ back reassuringly a few times.

“Fish’s right. We’ll get our things packed up and go to the airport. But there won’t be a guarantee that we’ll get another flight.” The older Miller brother confirmed while stepping out and walking to their rooms.

“We meet at the car in 10.” They heard Tom’s voice in the distance while everyone spread out to their respective rooms, packing up everything in record time.

Before Benny could enter the empty room he carelessly left behind an hour ago, he was stopped by his brother.

“Y/N’s gonna be alright. Whatever is going on with her, we’ll find it out, okay? Everything’s gonna be fine, Ben. There will be an explanation to all of this.” Will came closer and brought him in a tight brotherly hug, holding his little brother to him. Trying to sooth his strained nerves and allowing him to finally break down and let out everything he desperately tried to hold back.

Feeling Benny slowly pulling back, he looked at him intently, not once breaking eye contact.

“Can you help Fish load the car while I get everything sorted with our checkout?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll see you downstairs in a few.” Will gave him a slight smile and a last pat on the back before walking off to his room.

After everything was taken care of and their luggage packed in the car in an amount of mere minutes, they were off to the airport.

Under normal circumstances Frankie would drive safely, but their situation was far from anything close to it and he drove a bit faster than he should and “missed” a few stop signs along the way till they stopped after a 10 minute drive in the large parking lot of their destination.

Each of the Delta soldiers was practically jumping out of the car when they were parked, grabbing their things and speeding off, minus Tom, who’s mood had soured over the course of their not planned way back to base.

“She’ll better have a very damn good excuse for this.” He grumbled annoyed while they were on the way through the building, but the rest decided to ignore his comment. There were more important things to be concerned of right now than his pissed-off mood.

“I’m gonna go over to the counter and see if I can rebook our flight to an earlier one. Maybe someone has seen her too.” Will announced shortly after they stopped in front of a few seats.

“I’ll come with you.” His little brother said and was right beside him in an instant, needing some closeness to him right now to keep him grounded.

Already knowing what was going on, the older blonde accepted his silent request without any protest and gave him a quick nod before walking off together to the ticket counter.

“Hello, how can I help you?” A red-haired woman in probably her 30’s greeted them with a smile.

“Hello, excuse me but we’re looking for a woman that probably booked a flight here to North Carolina a few hours ago. Have you seen anyone maybe?” Will greeted her.

“Wait, I have a photo of her.” Benny added and took it out of the pocket of his blue shirt, showing it to her.

It was a group photo, made when they were back at base after their first mission together, all of them exhausted but happy and smiling. The boys were standing in a line, arms over each other’s shoulders with their girl in front of them, having the brightest smile on her face they’d ever seen toward the camera. The colonel had taken it for them, being very proud of his best team he had in Delta Force. He had given all of them a copy of it after. Everyone knew from that moment on that they would be a team forever. Ben would never forget that day, would never forget that smile she had back then. The need he felt there to always make her smile like that again.

The woman behind the counter looked at it for a few seconds until she gave it back to him.

“Yes, she wanted the earliest flight when she arrived here.” She answered, remembering her from before.

The Miller brothers shared an alarmed look. She really must have taken a plane on her own, besides her really bad fear of heights.

“Thank you really much for the information ma’am.” Benny thanked her after breaking eye contact and looking back at her with a slight smile.

“No problem. Is there something else I can help you with?” The woman wanted to know and looked at them questioningly.

“Yes, we have a flight that was booked for later. Would it be possible to rebook it to an earlier one?” Will asked and handed her the tickets and his passport to confirm his identity.

“Let me see… yes, the last free possible flight will be in an hour. Will that be okay with you?” The woman said while looking at her computer, typing away and back up when she found something.

“That would be nice, we take it.” Will answered, letting out a breath of relief. Thank god, they didn’t have to wait for hours here or otherwise we wasn’t sure if he could stay calm any longer. He was close to the line he not wanted to cross and didn’t want to risk overstepping it. He needed to stay strong for Benny and the rest of his brothers, be the rock they needed right now, even if it wasn’t easy despite his own worries for their girl and the anger against himself for letting something happen like that. He’d make sure they got on that plane and do everything he needed till they knew she was okay and she was safe. Till he could hold her in his arms again and apologize for what they had done.

“Here you go, just look out for the announcement. The gate is down the hallway and then to your left. Have a safe flight and a good day.” She smiled and handed him the new tickets and the passport.

“Thank you for everything. Have a good day too.” He said goodbye, giving her a fake smile.

“Do you really think she would go on a plane without us?” Ben asked unsure out of nowhere, looking at Will with stormy blue eyes, that grew darker by the second like his brother’s.

The older man wished he would know the answer himself but every information they had gathered so far was pointing toward it. There was no other possible option in this moment. Why did she come here asking for the earliest flight she could get then? It wouldn’t make sense if she went somewhere else and the woman on the counter would have probably told them if she left without taking her new-booked flight. But she’d never go on a plane without at least one of them, hell it was even a thing on its own to even get her to go into it. And now she should have done that alone all of a sudden? Out of nowhere, like it wasn’t bothering her in the slightest and her anxiety didn’t exist? Will’s head started to hurt from all the overthinking he wasn’t able to stop.

“I don’t know, bro. The only thing I can say is, that everything looks like it.” He answered his brother’s question after a short silence with a sigh.

“How did it go?” Frankie greeted them and searched both of their faces for answers.

“Our flight’s in an hour.” Will answered and handed out the tickets.

“Anyone seen her?” Santiago followed with his question, hoping they’d get more information.

“The woman on the counter said Y/N wanted the earliest flight when she arrived here.” Ben explained trying to temper his mood, lifting his backwards cap to run a hand through his hair and putting it down again.

All of their movements halted and their eyebrows rose comically high on their foreheads.

“Imposible. (Impossible.)” Frankie grunted out in Spanish, not able to hold in his disbelieve any longer at the thought. Turning around with a shaking head while walking a few steps and crossing his arms over his chest.

What made her do that? What was going on with her that she would do something like that? It was so unlike her and in this moment, they felt like they didn’t even know her.

“So, what you wanna tell us is, that she went on a plane all by herself with her anxiety? The same girl that needs at least an hour till we can convince her to get into a fucking thing like that? That would rather walk by foot instead of flying?” The other Spanish man in the group spoke up to voice his thoughts about their newly found out information. Sharing the same feeling with the pilot.

“Look man, I don’t know what the fuck is going on but that is the only thing we’ve got right now and you’re not the only one who thinks how fucked up all this is. All of us know she’d rather die than go near anything that can fly but what if she really did it? There’s no other option what she could have done, otherwise that woman would have told us if she didn’t take her flight.” Will countered with slight agitation in his voice.

“All we can do now is wait anyway.” The captain of the group added and leaned back in his seat.

Not wanting to fuel the tension, the rest of the boys decided to follow Tom’s example and take a seat and wait till their flight would be announced. They’d have 6 long hours ahead of them where they could do nothing but wait and maybe try to get some more sleep.

8 PM, North Carolina, Fort Bragg

When they arrived back at the familiar soil of the Delta Force base 6 hours later, they didn’t know what bomb would be waiting there for them, ready to leave a devastation in its wake none of them could have been prepared for.

“Look who finally decided to join us!” Deryll piped up smiling upon seeing the missing Delta soldiers returning, still on the security shift with his best friend Marc.

“Did they jail your asses in that airport?” Marc joined his friend, greeting the boys laughing and giving them a wave with his hand.

Quick hugs among the men were exchanged, giving each other a pat on the back.

“The fuck are you talking about?” Ben asked afterwards, not knowing what they meant.

“We were worried we had to take care of your girl now.” Mark continued with a wide grin on his face.

The group of five exchanged confused looks for a moment. Knowing they were clearly missing something here.

“You better watch your mouth, hermano.” Santiago threatened him with a serious gaze.

“So you’re letting her fly on her own now, hm?” Deryll threw in while also grinning at his friend across.

“What is this all about?” Tom asked, having enough of being kept out of whatever this was.

“You’re joking right?” Marc said, still amused over the reaction of the men in front of them, not believing their seriousness.

Another round of looks among the boys was exchanged.

“No, we’re not. So would you mind telling us what’s going on here?” Ben spoke up, making his point clear that he wasn’t joking.

That took the two security men by surprise. Sharing a weird look with each other.

“Y/N said there was an issue with your flight, so she took the earlier one when she turned up alone here a few hours ago and we asked her about you.” Deryll explained, his smile slowly fading.

“An issue with our flight?!” Will repeated, making sure he heard correctly.

“Yeah, why?” Marc confirmed it almost in an instant, getting serious now too upon their reactions.

“Where is she?” The younger Miller brother butted in, his voice growing more desperate and serious.

“Calm down man, she’s somewhere in there.” Deryll told him, making a motion with his head toward the entrance of the base.

“Was talking and joking around with us when she arrived here, so no need to worry, dude.” Marc added to his friend’s comment, hoping it would ease up the sudden tension.

“This just gets better and better.” Tom commented sarcastically, shaking his head heavily and running a hand over his face.

“I don’t know what you’re on about but get your asses in there and look for yourself if you don’t believe us. We’ll see you later.” Marc said, crossing his arms now and opening the door for them.

“Yeah, shouldn’t keep your girl waiting!” Deryll shouted after them as loud as possible with a laugh after they walked through the entrance.

“The fuck was that?” Frankie asked confused as they walked through the base toward their bunks.

“Don’t have a fucking clue.” Will replied, shaking his head at him and shouldering his luggage a bit higher on his shoulder.

“Whatever it was, I don’t like it.” Benny commented quietly and mostly more to himself, clenching his jaw.

“We should probably teach them a lesson next time if we get a chance.” Santiago added, letting his sight wander around the base.

“There’s time for that after we reported back to the colonel. Drop off your stuff and meet at the colonel’s office.” Tom ordered and broke off to his bunk when they reached them.

“Yes, sir.” All of them said in unison before splitting and going to their own.

A few minutes later, the boys met in front of the building the colonel was in.

“Let’s get this over with.” Tom sighed and walked in first, followed by Will, Santiago, Ben and Frankie.

The group stopped again at his office, waiting patiently while Tom knocked a few times at the door.

Being beckoned in with a “Come in!”, they all entered and shut the door behind them.

“They finally let you go, hm?” They got greeted by Colonel Sanders, standing up from his chair and nodding at them. Motioning for them to take a seat if someone wanted but all declined his offer, making themselves comfortable while standing next to each other.

“I’m sorry?” Tom asked, surprised by his greeting.

“I heard about your ‘flight issues’.” The colonel elaborated, closely observing his boys.

Their once blank faces changed slightly at that and of course Sanders noticed it right away. There was something wrong, just like he had supposed before.

Standing there in silence for a very long moment, he decided to continue.

“I guess by your reactions that there weren’t any, right?”

The Delta soldiers didn’t quite know how to respond, not knowing themselves what this was all about.

“No, sir?” Ben decided to speak up but actually cringing at how it sounded.

“I thought so. You’re here to report back then?” The colonel answered, walking away a few steps from his desk, his gaze still fixated on them.

“Yes, sir.” Will confirmed, giving him a nod.

“Is there anything you wanna tell me first?” Sanders carefully asked, straightening his position and eyeing them more intently than before.

The boys’ faces immediately fell when they thought back to what they had witnessed in the smuggler’s hideout.

“There was a little ‘incident’ when we cleared the hideout of the smugglers.” Tom answered, trying to not make a big deal out of it.

“A ‘little incident’?!” Ben shouted out angrily and glared at their captain, not believing how he could downplay so easily what they actually had seen.

Colonel Sanders heard enough to know it must have been something really serious, for Ben and the others to act like this.

“Y/N didn’t tell me anything when I asked her. So I wanna know from you what’s going on.”

“Where is she?” The younger Miller asked with worry in his voice, ignoring the comment from the colonel and only thinking about their girl in this moment.

“None of you is leaving this office before someone has told me what the fuck happened on your mission!” Sander’s voice grew louder, making it clear how serious this conversation was and catching the guys off guard by the tone of his voice.

“We… don’t really know.” Frankie answered after a moment, looking to the ground with a guilty expression on his face.

“You don’t know?!” The colonel repeated, not knowing what he should think about it.

“We had cleared the building up to the 6th floor and were checking the 7th. Everything looked clear, we even checked it twice each but then she told us to hold our position because she thought it was not clear. We were convinced that the floor was safe too after checking it multiple times and decided to move on despite her warning and not responding through her com anymore. We got to the last floor without any problems or encounters on the way. There were just a few more guys and our target on the last one that we took care of. After making sure we were done, we headed back down where we were coming from and then… we found her on the floor below.” Will explained cautiously, fully knowing what the colonel’s reaction would be.

“Found her?” Sanders calmly asked, hating where this was going.

“She… was just laying there… with all those bodies and the blood around the floor.” Ben tried to get out, the same feeling he had back there, creeping up his body and making him sick to his stomach again.

The older gray-haired man in the room tried to keep his composure upon hearing the revelation, going back to his chair and needing to sit down for a moment.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He trusted his boys with his life, they were his best team for a reason. How could they let something like this happen?

“When we got to her, we immediately checked if she was alive and if she had any serious injuries but we found nothing. She only had an anxiety attack and a complete breakdown right after but besides that, she physically was fine somehow. Only a slight scratch on her throat. She slept through the whole drive back to the hotel, where we took care of her gear and cleaned her up a bit since she and her clothes were completely soaked in blood. After, we decided that each of us would take turns to watch her till the next morning to make sure she was okay. Ben woke us a few hours later in the middle of the night, saying that she was gone. That’s all we knew until we tried to find her. We decided to ask around for her in the hotel first and the receptionist informed us that she had paid and checked out already hours ago and took a cab. So we asked some of the drivers outside if they had seen her and one of them said that he took her to the airport, so we went there next after we got everything sorted. My brother and I went to the ticket counter to try and ask for her, which turned out positive. The woman explained that she had been there, wanting the earliest flight when she arrived. That’s everything until we landed and went straight back here.” The older Miller continued his report, making sure to tell everything he knew and lowering his head with an almost pained look.

Now her behavior made at least a little bit more sense but still didn’t explain why she not wanted to be with them anymore.

Colonel Sanders let out a heavy sigh, folding his hands in front of him, trying to think about the best way to tell his boys what their girl had requested from him.

A deathly silence settled over the office until he decided to speak.

“I… have to tell you something.” His gruff voice already a bad omen, sounding like he was about to tell them about her death.

The rest of the men in the room all immediately picked up on the sudden change in his voice, not being used to that kind of tone but already feeling fear creeping up their spines. Not able to say something.

Sanders looked around at each of them before continuing. Making himself ready to drop the already ticking bomb over their heads to explode.

“She requested… to be moved to another team. Immediately.”

Right as the last word had left him, Benny nearly lost it completely. Clearly not expecting anything like this.

“What?!” It was the only word he was able to choke out before he felt his legs nearly giving out under him. He felt like someone had forcefully ripped his heart right out of his chest and left him to die.

His brothers didn’t take it in any different, the ground having been pulled away from right under their feet quite literally. Each of them taking in a sharp breath and needing some support from the wall behind them to keep them upright on their feet. Frankie and Santiago grabbing their caps and lowering them slowly from their heads in front of their bodies.

“This… is all just a bad joke from you and her to get back at us for what happened, right?” Ben tried to convince himself, denying this could be actually true. There was no way in hell that she actually had meant what she said.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” The colonel asked him, his expression unchanged and the same seriousness in his voice than before.

“No…. no, no, no, no, no! That’s- that can’t be…” The devastation was crystal clear in Benny’s voice. His mind completely blanked. He didn’t know what to do with what he had been told a few seconds ago.

All of their faces had turned deathly pale, completely drained from their color in a matter of a second. None of them knew what to say, what to do with that information. They just felt like someone had shot them straight in the head. Never once had any of them even thought about the one impossible thing happening.

“Why?!” The younger Miller screamed and sank on his knees to the floor with tears in his once bright blue eyes that were now swallowed whole by the same darkness that crept up inside of him in that very moment.

“Did… she say anything?” Will didn’t know how he managed to get any words out right now but somehow, they left his mouth without fully registering it.

Colonel Sanders left another heavy sigh and hung his head, knowing full well how his Delta boys must be feeling right now.

“I can’t tell you anything more than this. I’m sorry.” He apologized, hating to have to keep the promise he had given their girl.

“This must all be a mistake! This can’t… be…!” Ben continued sobbing, not being able to hold in his emotions any longer and starting to hit the ground with his right fist he had curled so tight, he could feel the nails digging in his palm and drawing blood.

“I’m so sorry. I wish I didn’t have to tell you this.” Sanders apologized again, not knowing himself what he could do to be there for them.

“Where…? Where… is she?” Having released some of his anger, Ben looked up at the colonel, tears still running down his cheeks.

“I don’t think this is a good idea right now.” The colonel sighed, knowing they probably all wanted to see her but it wouldn’t lead to something good until they at least had cooled off.

“I don’t fucking care! I wanna see her right fucking now!” Benny screamed again, raising suddenly with lightspeed to his full height with his completely shaking body.

Before he did anything he’d regret later, Will was by his side and tried to hold him back and appease him.

“Ben. You need to calm down.”

“No! How can you even stay so fucking calm after this?! Do you even fuckin’ care at all about her?!” His little brother knew fully well that he was crossing a line with this that he shouldn’t but his emotions were all over the place and he couldn’t think straight.

It was the last thread that Will had been hanging on the entire trip back. He couldn’t restrain himself any longer and finally snapped too thanks to his little brother accusing him of not caring for their girl, that was way too precious to him as well.

“You really think, I don’t fucking care about her too?!” He wasn’t able to control his rage anymore, that had been building up gradually more and more inside of him in the last minutes.

Santiago, Frankie and Tom snapped out of their paralyzed state when both of the Miller brothers were about to charge at each other. The look in their eyes one, that promised nothing but death and destruction. But before anything could happen, they intervened. Frankie grabbing and holding back Ben with all his strength and Santiago did his best together with Tom to keep Will separated from his brother.

“You gotta stop, hermano. It’ll be okay. It’ll be fine.” The pilot reasoned with him, looking him dead in the eyes.

“Stop! It won’t help if you jump at each other’s throats! You know that!” Santiago on the other side tried to get through to his friend, knowing he was the more reasonable one of the two right now.

“Enough!” Before anything more could happen, the colonel raised his voice loudly enough to get the attention of all.

“You can be thankful that this has no consequences because of her! Y/N defended all of your stubborn asses with her life when I asked her about what had happened! She even said that it wasn’t your fault!”

His statement felt like another heavy punch in the gut for the boys. Coming back to their senses again, Ben and Will looked guilty to the ground and stopped fighting against the hold of their friends that loosened their grip on them when they felt them relaxing.

None of them dared to say another word, feeling like absolute shit. So the older gray-haired man took it upon himself to continue and try to soothe them at least a little with his words, even if it wouldn’t help the deep gaping wound each of them now had inside.

“Do you think it was an easy decision for me? You think I don’t know how you feel right now too? I tried to convince Y/N to think about her decision at least for a day but she insisted and I can’t deny her that. But we all know that this girl would go through hell and back for you. She’d do anything for her possible to save your asses from whatever mess you drag yourself into. So please try to accept her decision and give her some space and time to think about it. I know it’s a lot right now but you can’t change anything about it in this moment. Go to your bunks and get some rest after all you’ve been through in the last hours. Give yourself some time to process everything and try to stay away from her for the time being. I will keep an eye on Y/N until she decides that she wants you back, you have my promise.”

The boys knew he was right, rationally. But emotionally this whole ordeal was a completely different thing. Especially for Ben, not being able to be with her, hear her voice he loved so much and could listen to from day to night and her laugh that would make his entire day when he heard it, feel and touch her soft skin on his and assured him that she was there with him, to see her smile and knowing it was because of him. All of it had been violently ripped away in a matter of seconds. He never wanted to be a second without her, always wanted to have her by his side and being reminded that someone cared about him, that she was happy and safe. Ben didn’t know if he was able to live without her, how he was supposed to continue from this.

The colonel stood up from his seat and rounded the table to give each of them a long hug, letting them know they weren’t alone in this.

“I’ll see you back here in the morning.” He said and walked back behind his table, watching them as they slowly made their way out with hanging and defeated postures. None of them capable of more than a nod as goodbye.

They went back to their bunks and waited…

…for 8 long years.

A/N: The flashback part had been sitting in my drafts for ages ever since I wrote it along the first chapter of this fic because I wasn't sure when it would fit nicely into the story or if I even wanted to incorporate it at all. But I'm excited to share it with you now and hope it was a good choice to place it here and shed some light to what actually happened from the boys' side of things! 🥰

Buckle up because we are about to go down the rabbit hole! 😎

If you enjoyed feel free to reblog, like and comment! 🥰

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[kurtmustdie]

caught up with cringetober because I literally forgot to do it, individuals and explanations under cut

Day 1: Heterochromia I’ve come to the revaluation that my sona is already cringe as hell considering not only can his entire body change color but he also has differently colored eyes as a staple of his design. They’re usually yellow and blue but this time I color picked the blue from the trans flag and the mint from the Vincian flag for this color palette, it turned out really pretty :)

Day 2: Self Insert Now she isn’t my self insert anymore, but back in the day when I was at “peak cringe” she definitely was. This is my warriors OC Icypelt and I have a post going over part of her story on my profile somewhere. She’s been through a lot and I think her modern design is very pretty :)

Day 3: Unnecessarily complex fit/design Spider scene is kinda infamous in my brain for having wayyy too much detail but I love them and I think this might be my favorite one out of this batch, super cute, the pose is really cute and the colors are nice and fits her really well :D

day 4: Angel x Devil inevitable MCR reference ik, Helena and Revenge, love them dearly. Poor revenge man this one is cute and looks like a sticker!!

Day 6 (I skipped day 5 because I didn’t want to open up ms paint today): neko i kinda hate this one but cat Gerard yay

Day 7: Pinterest base at first I wanted to draw hobie in place of Gwen but I remembered that I haven’t really drawn Mikey with her even though they’re supposed to be friends so I drew her instead. Idk. The height difference is not accurate because of that but Jumping Spider is small because he’s based on a jumping spider and those are tiny who would have thought

Day 8: tumblr sexyman i have never played undertale a day in my life i just know a lot of people wanted to jump sans’ bones

day 9: Crossover ship/rarepair OH BOY THIS ONE GOES KIND OF HARD AND IM EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT BECAUSE THEY KIND OF WORK FOR EACH OTHER UM MIGUEL OHARA X CLOTTED CREAM COOKIE IM INSANE OMG-

day 10: fursona i already have a fursona I already drew and yes I colorpicked from the lesbian flag how could you tell /j

Day 11: Yandere LYLA is technically canonically a yandere because spoiler alert she tried to kill Miguel’s fiancé via overheating her in the shower (essentially literally boiling her like a lobster) because she was “in love” with him (she said if she did have autonomy and had feelings the would be in love with him but she doesn’t but idk who knows I don’t).

day 12: niche interest ik MCR isn’t exactly “niche” but the black parades story in particular has always caught my interest and I have my own interpretation of it and a whole kind of story I’m still developing and character arcs and headcanons and interactions and yeah you get it, death in particular has evolved into god knows an OC on his own I just keep him attached to MCR because… it makes more sense that way, ig-

day 13: creepypasta does this count- whatever grimdark is just the same thing as a creepypasta- I’m not really in the MLP fandom anymore but it was my first ever “fandom” I was actually apart of. My first hyperfixation if you will. I wasn’t in the grimdark part of the fandom because I was too young for it but I was actually watching the izzzyzzz grimdark video and I was like “oh” and drew a rainbow factory Rainbowdash. Honestly I should draw ponies more they’re fun to draw

Day 14: candygore (?) im not good at drawing candygore and since I was rushing this o didn’t do it as well as I thought I can, but it still turned out pretty cool

Day 15: song lyrics aaaa inevitable hesitant alien drawing this one turned out so cute!! The colors and the sparkle eek so cute aaa action cat lyrics I’m breaking down right in front of you I’m sorry

planning on doing the rest of the month now, maybe not exactly on time since I’m still in school but I’ll try to get 31 drawings out by Halloween. Love the idea of cringetober because I just love all things cringe. Ack this is so good

[astroboots]

I was in a really strange mood the other day. Not sure what it was exactly - the spring, something in the water, retrograde Mercury...Whatever it was, it set me aflame with the desire for Oscar Isaac. That feeling is not a new one, but the intensity it hit me with was pretty remarkable even for me. So I did what every logical person would've done - got here to get myself some gorgeous gifs of his.

Long story short, a couple of hours and several delicious gifs later, I started to think that maybe it's a good idea to read something. Well, I actually specifically didn't want to read shit, but there were just two many texts coming my way, upon thirst scrolling. So, while I was half-heartedly trying to drive these thoughts away with an imaginary stick, I came upon the "Red Flags." And was met with something I can't fucking resist - long chapters.

I read all sorts of different fanfics for all sorts of different reasons. We all have our own preferences, and I am trying not to concentrate on mine all that often, because it will just result in me reading only specific things, and there is a chance I'll miss something really good.

But I still do have those preferences. And for me, THE most important thing in the story is for the characters to feel like themselves from the original incarnation. Not to a tea, perhaps. Not always, at least. But I want to read something they do and go: "Yeep, that's them. That's exactly how they would've acted. "

I've read a lot of absolutely brilliant stories that I see more like an AU situation. Great storytelling, amazing characters - it's all there. But the characters just don't feel the same to me. It doesn't make the story bad whatsoever. It's just a separate category for me.

And then there are those VERY rare ones that are just making every single thing right in my eyes. Of course, these things are objective. Of course, it's only based on what I personally want to see. But when I find them, I'm treating them like an absolute treasure.

Which leads us to the "Red Flags." The story that got me so invested that I ended up reading it till 3 in the morning because I just couldn't bring myself to separate with these characters.

After the series, Steven got so much love. Which is completely understandable. He is an adorable, goofy, absolutely charming idiot that you just want to be around. But I don't think Marc himself is getting enough appreciation. Which he should.

The way he was written here made my heart ache. He was portrayed so real, I was sometimes sure I could touch him through the screen of my phone. The man was so broken on such a deep level that he had to create a happy version of himself, to be able to cope with trauma. The man, who is denying himself happiness because he doesn't think he deserves it. The man, who is willing to give every single good thing in his life to his alter ego, whom he sees as a pure and sweet person.

One of the most realistic main heroines I've seen in fan fiction - just like her, I wanted to grab him, shake him up, and scream that he deserves love, deserves to be cared for, deserves being looked after and to be able to just be himself around a person, who loves him. To let someone love him. He doesn't deserve to be shout at, though. Doesn't matter if it comes from a place of genuine care. I'd kill for this man. Got every last bit of patience out of me to help him see how much he is loved and needed. How beautiful, how kind, and caring he actually is. How empathetic he is. How, no matter what little he thinks of himself, he is a whole world.

It's not even just the romance, but how he treats Steven, too. It's just beyond words. I never thought about it that way, but it was so heartbreaking to see that he went far and beyond with writing Steven cards from their mom. He did not have to do it, but he wanted Steven to feel loved. Something that he never got himself. The man, who grew up abused and hated by his own mother, who drew so many walls around himself, still remained a kind soul behind it all.

I want you to know that by now, I've read it twice over, and I'll be absolutely doing it again. Alongside all the one shots. No idea if it was intended that way or not, but they absolutely do read like a continuation of the main story.

I don't really have the words to describe how much I loved it and how I fell in love with every aspect of it. But I just need to thank you and your wonderful co-writer for giving us (well, me, personally😇) the privilege to read something that extraordinary🥰💙🥂

Hello lovely!!!!!

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to answer this. When I received this ask this week my face and soul lit up. It's so kind and sweet of you to take the time to write this and send it. I really appreciate you so much.

I'm so glad that you felt that the characters read like they were in their original MCU universes. It's something that I completely owe @thirstworldproblemss too she has an insane knack for storytelling and character voices that blows me away everytime. Between the two of us i'm the one living in London and yet I have a Transatlantic accent and I don't ever use British slang, and she was the one who had to britishify Steven and she did it with such skills I'm in awe of her always.

But also the characterisation of Marc, once again I owe so much to her, because she's the one who broke down the character and made me appreciate all the beautiful, heartbreaking layers of his character.

Red Flags has been such an absolute beast to write and taught me so much about long-form story telling and it has an incredibly special place in my heart and to know that people are still reading it, and that you had such a strong reaction to it fills me with immense joy. Thank you so much once again for reaching out! I adore you.

[fancoloredglasses]

Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown (who is running this camp?!), part 1

[All images are owned by Paramount and Peanuts Worldwide. Please don’t sue me or send me to this camp]

[All video clips are courtesy of Rotten Tomatoes]

With summer starting, parents need to figure out what to do with their kids since school is no longer an option. Popular options are…

Take time off of work to take family vacations (see the Nation Lampoon’s Vacation franchise for examples of how this could go horribly wrong)

If the kids are old enough, make them get summer jobs

If they’re too young to be employed, but old enough to be trusted alone, let them stay home

If parents want to see their kids, but don’t trust them to stay home, they could send them to a day camp and pick them up after work

Then there’s the subject of this review from the mid-70s: If the parents want the summer off from their kids, they could ship them off to summer camp.

We will assume that most of you are familiar with Peanuts (or at least the Charlie Brown holiday specials) At the very least I reviewed one based on a movie about burlesque dancing), but just in case…

Peanuts was a daily comic strip created by Charles Shultz in 1950 and ran until shortly before his death in 2000. Schultz always hated the title (he originally named it Li’l Folks, but that name was already copyrighted so the publisher came up with the name that endured), which is why none of the animated shows, specials, and movies didn’t use the title until after Schultz’s death (every single one before had the main character’s name in the title) While the core cast hasn’t changed much over the years, minor characters have come and gone. The characters important to this review are…

Charlie Brown is the epitome of the downtrodden. He is laughed at by those he thinks of as friends, gets no respect from most (including his dog), and almost never comes out on top. For whatever reason, he is always (with one notable exception) referred to by his full name, rather than just his first.

Charlie Brown’s little sister Sally has all the red flags of a Karen-in-Training. She constantly complains about how Life Isn’t Fair to get her way (she once whined her way into getting a grade raised)

Lucy van Pelt is best described as the sociopath of the group. She absolutely has to be the center of attention and delights in tormenting Charlie Brown (especially with Charlie Brown kicking a football, constantly pulling it away at the last second so Charlie Brown lands flat on his back (she once did so during a football game in which Charlie Brown’s kick meant the difference between winning and losing. Three guesses who got blamed for the loss))

Lucy’s little brother Linus is likely the wisest of the gang. He has a dependency on his baby blanket, carrying it everywhere. He is also the target of Sally’s crush, much to his chagrin (she often refers to Linus as her “Sweet Baboo”)

Schroeder is a musical prodigy who worships the works of Beethoven. He carries around a pint-sized grand piano that he can play virtually anything on from memory. Lucy had decided that he is the man she’ll marry, no matter what he says (I say she’ll wind up settling for Charlie Brown)

Snoopy is Charlie Brown’s pet beagle. He walks like a human, acts like a human, and does everything humans do except talk (because THAT was where Schultz drew the line)

Snoopy’s best friend is Woodstock (yes, he was named after what you think he was named after) Woodstock can barely fly straight, but is eternally cheerful.

Franklin is…look, there’s no easy way to put this. He’s the token black kid. He was added to the comic strip in response to Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination. Unfortunately, he’s generally not treated well in animation. If he’s not being outright ignored, he’s being stereotypically black (such as break dancing) or segregated (in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, for example, he was the only kid on his side of the table while all of the white kids were on the other side)

Peppermint Patty is a tomboy and…well, she’s pretty much a Force of Nature. She pretty much gets everyone to do what she wants by not letting anyone get a word in edgewise. Fortunately, she’s (mostly) well-meaning, if a bit dense at times (she’s the only member of the gang who doesn’t realize Snoopy’s a dog) I’m not sure if she has a crush on Charlie Brown (or as she calls him, “Chuck”) or if she enjoys watching his squirm (interestingly, he doesn’t object despite clearly being uncomfortable about it)

Marcy is Peppermint Patty’s best friend and chief foil. Marcy is very soft-spoken, but is the first one to call Peppermint Patty on her strong-arm BS. For whatever reason, she refers to Peppermint Patty as “sir” (a large portion of the fans have a head canon that they’re in a relationship)

Now that we have the cast, on with the show! If you would like to watch the movie, it’s available behind your favorite paywall.

We open (in the credits) with the gang on a bus on their way to camp, with Snoopy not far behind on his “hawg” (that he’s never had before or since) I’m VERY curious what’s up with the landscape around the suburb they live in, they go through forest as the credits roll, then it immediately turns into desert.

As the credits end, the bus passes by a gas station with a pair of kids hanging out by the pump for some reason. Sally waves at them, but the girl blows a razzberry at her.

Sally gets her wish as the bus gets a blowout immediately after. The driver (that we don’t see; one thing about Peanuts is you never actually SEE the adults...and if you hear them, they say “MWAH WAH WAH WAH”) fixes the flat while Sally marches right up to the girl and…

…immediately backs down and slinks back onto the bus.

Later, the bus stops at another gas station to refuel (they couldn’t do so while fixing the flat?), so the gang takes the opportunity to stretch their legs. Charlie Brown gets distracted talking to Snoopy and…

What kind of bus driver doesn’t take a head count before leaving?!

Fortunately, Snoopy has room on his hawg and gives Charlie Brown a ride. Unfortunately, Snoopy decides to take a “short cut” through some of the roughest patches in the desert, making Charlie Brown close to getting sick by the time they arrive (behind the bus, so what was the point of all of that?)

…and suddenly we’re in the middle of the woods again.

While staggering around and desperately trying not to vomit, Charlie Brown accidentally bumps into three older kids (bullies) who immediately take a disliking to him.

Fortunately, the PA (with a kid at the mic. Are there no adults that are more qualified?) announces registration has begun so Charlie Brown can excuse himself before the bullies can feed him to their cat. Unfortunately, they run into him again when they cut the line and Sally tries to sic Charlie Brown on them.

(Yeah, like that would work)

Fortunately, Linus is there to Save The Day.

Later, as everyone fills out their registration forms (shouldn’t they have done that BEFORE they crossed a desert to come here?) Sally bitches about it, so Peppermint Patty waxes philosophical about the need to leave your comfort zone.

(…and people wonder why the fandom thinks Peppermint Patty and Marcie are a couple)

After filling out their forms, the gang heads for their tents (the boys in one, the girls in the other…

…and Snoopy in his own)

In the girls’ tent, Peppermint Patty suggests that they run things in a democratic fashion, including voting for a leader. Of course, Peppermint Patty has the election won, since we all know Marcie will vote for her.

So with everyone voting for themselves, Peppermint Patty decides she should cast the deciding vote…for herself (wait, there are more than four beds. Don’t the other girls in the tent get a say?)

That evening…

Nothing like roughing it, eh Snoopy?

The next morning…

PA kid has the campers out for morning calisthenics, followed by breakfast and morning activities (no, I’m not doing a montage. It’s as boring as it sounds) Then lunch happens.

Maybe Sally should complain to the manager.

After lunch…

The bullies are at it again.

…but they forgot about Linus.

PA Kid then announces that the Camp Games (pitting all of the tents against one another) will begin. Naturally…

…the bullies cheat. Where are the adults who are supposed to be keeping things fair?

WHO IS RUNNING THIS CAMP?!

As the gang sulks about losing to a bunch of cheaters, PA Kid announces the Main Event of the summer.

The other tents know they don’t stand a chance, meaning there are only four competitors: the boys (sporting a raft held afloat by four inner tubes), the girls (in an inflatable life raft), Snoopy and Woodstock (in a single inner tube) and the bullies, who are competing in this monstrosity…

…complete with radar, sonar, and an outboard motor. You know, if they can afford this contraption, why are they slumming it at Camp Remote?

The teams spend all afternoon inflating their rafts…

…only for the bullies to use that air to inflate theirs overnight. (I guess the electric air pump was a bit more than they could afford)

The next morning, the teams must once again inflate their rafts before the race begins and they all set out (if a bit winded)

[At this point, I would like to point out that the bullies act like every cartoon villain in every race ever: They have the means to get far ahead of the competition, and would likely win the race by several miles, but they need to take the time to cheat and “prove” their superiority]

That evening, the bullies manage to pry their raft out from under the dock and sneak past the other teams as they sleep until they come to…

They then flip the sign so it points in the opposite direction.

Wait, they scheduled an unsupervised race involving kids at a time when there’s blasting happening?!

WHO THE HELL IS RUNNING THIS CAMP?!

Later in the evening, it starts snowing (Hang on. It’s SNOWING in the middle of summer in a forest next to a fucking desert?!) The next morning Woodstock has some fun at Snoopy’s expense.

With that bit of levity out of the way the race continues, and they come to the bullies’ trap.

Despite being nearly pulverized by falling rocks, the channel proved to be a short cut as the gang emerges ahead of the bullies (no doubt sleeping in, knowing they no longer have any competition)

As the bullies rush to catch up…

…a massive storm hits, threatening to sink all of the rafts! (Wait, no one bothered to check the weather report before the race?)

In fact, Snoopy’s tube capsizes, sending both he an Woodstock into the river! Snoopy manages to swim back to his tube, but Woodstock is lost in the water!

WILL Woodstock survive? (I’m sure he’ll be fine. I mean, he was in specials and the comic strip that were published after this)

WHO will win the race?

WHO THE FUCK IS RUNNING THIS CAMP?!?!?!

These questions and more will be answered in the exciting conclusion!

[valpogossip]

VALPOGOSSIP TEACAP: APRIL 2024

You lot sure have be busy the last month. If I was of lesser mind or simply someone with something better to do, I would have resigned myself to my silence and let you all carry on. But business pays. And unfortunately for you, it's yours that pays me, and you're all not going to believe this.

It's always the ones in the most denial that scream the loudest and Abril is a banshee. While at La Fiesta De Vindimia, Abril confronted our favorite blonde bombshell, Mallory Jade, about song she assumed was about her. Now theres something about a fight over a song like Pretty Girls ending in a kiss that just doesn't feel all that... straight to me. But Abril was quick to prove all of us wrong by locking in with Giovanni !

Speaking of Giovanni, the timing of this is quite suspicious considering he had a bit of his own meet-not-so-cute with a Yazmin. The two getting off on the wrong food but helping each other find the right one another and getting all cozy enough to take a nap outside. I don't about you all, but I don't think i've ever been that comfortable. Wonder with Yazmin thinks of this. Or Abril for that matter.

We could also ask Aivryn for her opinion on the matter considering how upset she was when Abril's new beau launched to the world to see. Apparently, even as her best friend, Aivryn found out at the same time everyone else did. I can't help but wonder why that is.

In more confusing but entertaining news, Omar and Dante are going on a date to decide which one gets to take which...one... on a... date ? I think I'm reading that correctly. Yes, bowling date. Loser takes other on date. No, yeah that's right. Well, whatever love looks like for you. Whenever there's a Dominguez-Herrera involved we're sure it'll be healthy and sane.

Maybe it's the bowling date nerves that led Dante to break Drew's nose? We hope that's healing up just fine.

Every month we hope Alba will stand up, and this month they came really close ! It was much of a hunch, but hey we'll take it. After a cold war, Milani raised the first white flag but all it took was one. You'll get there Al, we believe in you !

The festival seemed to be a hub for rekindling kisses, as Arlo and Esme were spotted liplocked on one of the benches. Sad thing about Leia bearing eye witness. Has anyone checked on her? What is it about good wine that makes you want to relive the past? Maybe they can go on a double date with Mallory and Abril and relive the past together.

Speaking of rekindling, but this time no kisses, exes Elijah and Sariyah, and Luna and Enzo were both spotted with frowns on their faces and eyes that were looking everywhere but each other. What conversation has you guys that deep in thought? Maybe you should take a drive, we here that helps.

If you're looking for a palette cleanser from all the mess, look no further than Jasper and Hunter. Gentle conversations and cutely planned dates. We wish them nothing but the best and maybe they could teach our many ( many ) confused couples a thing or two.

We hope that's enough to hold you over until next month. And if I missed anything, don't hesitate to send in a little tip to us via our anon box.

Here's some things we're keeping a close eye on for next month:

Ysla and Adem seem to be getting extremely close to little Emmie. Is it all just for her benefit? Astrid and Kaito already have the perfect starter for next month's tea cap, I wonder what else they'll get up to. What's the history there? How is Sariyah involved? Why does vic hate birthdays so much and why does esme suddenly care so much about his? Ximena and Bryce seem to also be spending a lot more time together. Aksel and Sarah's dinner table keeps getting bigger and bigger whole Luna's looks to be getting smaller, why is that? Will Drew ever get his double date? Is Luna like... okay?

If you didn't make this rounds teacap don't worry, we're still watching closely.

[ieatnomnom9823]

stupid headcanons no one asked for and make 0 sense

me and my friend enjoy in making the most shit headcanons to exist so i'm gonna share some of them bc why the fuck not?

princess kenny is an amazon box

kyle only knows how to play football because of how much he kicks Ike

cartman vibes to this video: https://youtu.be/PDJLvF1dUek?list=RDgBpdSlgR5qM (thats not mine btw)

butters has a MLP figure he literally sleeps with and treats it like his own child

everyone is sort of worried about butters obsession to that toy

the plural of kenny is in fact not kennies, but kennys

kyle not only kicks babies, but he also throws them

butters genuineley thinks the rickroll is a banger

kenny and cartman have the weirdest fucking pinterest feed *cough* maid catboys, shitty t-shirts, those random-ass pictures with text over them, like memes kinda but not with a very specific color text and font, the most random stickers and flags like bibble idk they really like bibble though also this totallyyyy isn't inspired by my feed *cough*

stan dedicates his LIFE to minecraft parkour. i'm talking watching those low guality parkour things with screenshits from the interent and he is a GOD at hypixel housing parkour (i came up with this because i have hypixel parkour open rn)

kenny is #1 lemon demon fan. i will NEVER change my mind about this.

craig literally sleeps with a fucking metal pipe.

instead of warming glasses of milk by pouring milk into a cup and microwaving the cup, he literally puts the whole fucking CARTON IN THE MICROWAVE AND THEN PUTS IT IN A CUP

instead of repenting your sins, cartman repeats his sins ( i just really needed to say that phrase today)

kyle is so weezer coded

stan's the type of mf to say "chat" instead of "guys"

anytime someone makes a dirty joke butters just akwardly smiles politely bc he doesn't get it but he's too embarrassed to ask what it meant

i found a picture this is exactly cartman and kenny's feed:

(that was my first screenshot since cleanig my files out other then the random bunny thing i drew in class cuz i was fucking boerd and had no idea what was going on)

stuart, randy, gerald, and steven (or whatever the fuck their name is) are literally besties but HERE ME OUT

randy and gerald are the silly besties like kyle and stan BUT stuart and steven (what the fuck is that man's name) are ALSO besties BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE BECAUSE IN TFBW IN THE STRIP CLUB THEIR WATCHING LADIES DANCE TOGETHER AND THEIR GETTING DRUNK TOGETHER THEIR LITERALLY BEsTIES OMG

craig has flying powers

butters thinks skibidi toilet is peak comedy and that is why everyone hates him (except for literally like 2 people)

why the fuck is his name dougie

FUCKING HOW IS CARTMAN EVEN CAPABLE OF HAVING CLOSE FRIENDSHIPS AND BUTTERS DESERVES BETTER

"life goes onyonyonyonyonyonyonyon" is literally cartman's theme song after trying to kill everyone with some shitty plan he got from watching Megamind or something

kyle literally has trauma from burgers he will NOT eat any burger if you paid him fucking 56,000,000 bucks

kyle is so an elephant he's literally an elephant that's his spirit animal

tweek is literally a turtle idk how i can't describe the vibe but he is ik he's SO not a turtle but he just... idk he is

kenny is a fucking rat i literally have art of me bullying him and calling him a rat

butters is either a bunny or a cat of a duck he's just silly like that

cartman isn't a duck he's a goddamn angry goose

stan is a bear or like a giraffe or something idk ik he's the main character but i don't think about him that much for me

butters is literally in choir guys

HOLY SHIT STAN'S AN ORANGE CAT

craig is the most beaustiful majestic dragon to ever exist

craig's literally my favorite character if you couldn't tell

kenny is too scared to eat cheetos so he eats takis instead

literally everyone loves megamind

[rubykgrant]

Hnnnnnnngggggg I'm so in love with Poppy I want to know so much about her, sexuality, gender, interactions with all different characters in and outside the Blood Gulch Crew, weapon preference, vehicle if any, just everything omgomgomg she's so pretty and cute and hot omg hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Haha thank you~

Poppy started off as like... a couple different vague ideas for different characters? Then I really began to refine them more, and it all combined into Poppy. I have a lot of fun with thinking about her interactions with the main group of characters; she meets Sarge first, when he's asked to lead a "special training program", and he immediately likes her because she back-talks all the time (Sarge claims to want soldiers that always follow his orders, but a being rebellious is actually much more impressive... and it helps him realize this training program is Not Good. Papa Warcrimes doesn't trust the military anymore? A sign of the apocalypse! It also makes him realize how much he misses his Red boys and the Blues... the fact that they weren't "perfect soldiers" was a GOOD thing, and the way Carolina, Wash, and Locus got chewed up and spit out is also standing out in his mind).

While the training is still going on, Tucker shows up to give an example of Freelancer techniques (Sarge initially asked for Wash or Carolina, but they're busy; Wash is looking for the Triplets, and Carolina is digging up info on Hargrove. Tucker jumped in saying HE'S had Freellancer training, he basically IS a Freelancer, let him help!). Tucker wanted to make an impressive entrance, arriving early to surprise everybody... but after his ship left, he fell down a hill. Luckily, the only one around to see was Poppy, who helped him up and promises not to tell everybody he ate dirt. When she introduces herself using her first name, Tucker kinda pauses for a moment before answering with his- Lavernius (so, rather than coming in like the Impressive honorary Freelancer Hero with the Cool Laser Sword, Tucker and Poppy first meet and are just. Regular friends. Which is nice~). When some of the training actually starts, Poppy plays it up like- "Oh, hello Captain Tucker, nice to meet you", and it's just a big inside joke between them

When Sarge eventually decides to just destroy this whole whole program, he brings Poppy with him- "Look everybody! We got a new Red!". Simmons is IMMEDIATELY ready to utterly HATE her. Sarge is giving her attention? Kill/death/die/murder/destroy... but then she says- "Sarge told me you like Star Wars. Did you ever watch the Ewoks cartoon? My favorite character is Wicket" and that just defuses him. Simmons brain decides- Oh, sibling? Sibling! Seriously, Simmons rarely gets to make a new friend like some of the other characters do, and I thought it would be very funny if he thought he was gonna hate Poppy, but nope! They get along just fine, and Simmons has a friend. Also, new people often tend to gravitate toward Blue Team (Carolina is arguably not ON any team, but she's friends with Wash and shares a connection to Church, so she's kinda just. Over there. Doc is not specifically ON either team as well, but because he's close with Donut, he's kinda-sorta unofficially over there haha). So, Locus and Poppy are the new Reds!

Part of her backstory involves Poppy once being assigned to a group of Flag Zealot Reds and Blues; she was supposed to be the person who determined if they needed more supplies/weapons, etc. Fpr whatever reason, these guys were all on a first-name basis. Red Team had Jed, Ted, and Fred. Blue Team had Hue, Drew, and Lou. So, Poppy has been in the habit of using her first name rather than last names like the Blood Gulch crew. When her Reds and Blues ran out of ammo, they just started harmlessly pranking each other, which Poppy thought was better than ACTUAL lethal fighting, so she just never ordered more. Both teams decided they all liked Poppy, and so she was never the target of any fighting (if anything, they only fought over who liked her more). It was loud, and stupid, and annoying... Poppy loved these guys. One day, an old and forgotten mine that had been buried went off, and Poppy rushed in to save the guys. She got injured in the process, and while she was unconscious/recovering... somebody from Temple's group came by to try and recruit more Flag Zealots. Hue, Drew, Lou, Jed, Ted, and Fred refused to join. When Poppy woke up, her Reds and Blues had been killed (the a-hole that did it turned out to be Gene. Not only does Poppy find a new home with the Blood Gulch Reds and Blues, but it is extra meaningful, because when everybody runs into Gene again, she doesn't get the so-called "similarity" between him and Simmons- Gene sucks, and Simmons doesn't piss her off)

The illustration I did of Poppy with traditional art shows her before she got injured helping her own Reds and Blues; after that incident, she actually had to get a cyborg prosthetic arm (again, she mirrors Simmons in a lot of ways). When everybody finally meets her, she's about 32 years old, but thanks to being a little short with rounded features, she looks a bit younger. Her main armor color is white, with accents of tan (if I could get a little artistic about it, I'd call it dusty-rose). The armor of her shoulders/arms looks a bit like Florida's during his Freelancer days (I just like the design of it, and it would help her look different from other characters who previously had white armor... also, with her armor being white, Red Team truly is the Lesbian Flag haha). She's trans, and chose the name of a flower because she "picked it herself"~ Poppy has a calm yet sarcastic personality, with a raging inferno of a temper once somebody ticks her off. A very go-with-the-flow attitude, somebody who can be comforting and encouraging. She feels her painful emotions VERY deeply, and freely cries when upset (or lets somebody feel the wrath of her temper once she finally reaches a breaking point). Poppy has been through a lot, but is fully aware of her own physical abilities; she's strong, sturdy, and a capable fight (maybe not very fast, but hard to knock down, even harder to keep down). One of her skills is messing with audio communication, and her favorite trick is to play annoying songs as a distraction

[sharksa-shivers]

What are...Shadowdemons?

I thinks ima do a new sorta thing where i explain an aspect of Kidnapped and whatnot in a post...So for our first one, we've got shadowdemons!! Shadowdemons are the main type of demon we see in series. They are the ones that are running the shadowcult and are doing...Alot of uhhh not good things... (NOTE TO BE AWARE OF: Not every single shadowdemon we see in series is bad...Shadowdemons as a species are neutral until proven good or bad. They are not inherently born hateful, they become so overtime...I wanna make this clear before i start going off about them because THIS IS INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT...Hell, some shadowdemons we even get to meet in show are actively fighting against the cult and their shit...It's just the cult is fucking HUGE and there's alot of shadowdemons in it...) Alrighty so ig i'll start with a bareass basic explanation...What are they exactly? (Old art incoming and whatnot lol...I have to use old stuff cuz i haven't done any newer stuff soooooo bare with me here...)

(...This above might perhaps potentally be Bastard #2...Prince Collin...Perhaps...But ima actually officially introduce him later and give him a better design lol so uhhhh hold up for me yeah??

(Rando one i drew lol) Shadowdemons are described as very very humanlike...By this, they behave similarly as well, being intellegent and whatnot. They tend to be pale-ish tones of white or grey, some being darker greys as well. They have black voids for a base eye and a more blurry/glowing light for a pupil. It's also known they have incredibly incredibly sharp features usually...They have razor sharp fingers, teeth, ect. All shadowdemons can fly but typically lower casted ones/more common ones have wings while very very high status ones (like...Collin lol) Have no wings and fly by levitation instead. High powered shadowdemons ALSO have the ability to steal magic from mers which...is a death sentence to a mer...A MER CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT THEIR MAGIC. IT IS A VITAL PART OF THEIR SYSTEM... Shadowdemons are...Known for not being easy at all to kill. Mostly because there's only one surefire 1000% kill method for them. Only ONE. And that's by burning them. They have to be burned to be fully destroyed (and even then, you have to FULLY FULLY burn them...You cannot halfass it otherwise they will regenerate.) Typically if you stab a shadowdemon or take their head off or whatever other death method you wanna use, they will simply be temp dead for a 5 to 15 minute period (depending on how bad the injury is) and then they will reform...They can literally reform their entire head and brain if you shot them like 30 times, you need fire to fully do one in... Shadowdemons do need food and rest to recoup and regain lost energy HOWEVER they will not die without these things and some shadowdemons forgo these things for years and years...Depends on the demon, each one has their preference... Shadowdemons are also known for being able to blend among people very well. They are known to have 3 forms: 1. Their typical shadowdemon form, the form we see the most usually. 2. A "human" form, basically a disguise form to fit in among people without raising flags... 3. Their shadowform, basically they can turn into a shadowcloud. We tend to not see this as often but it does and can happen. As a note as well; Mers and humans are about on par strengthwise (if you don't count magic) Shadowdemons however, are about 3 times stronger on average then humans and mers, they can SERIOUSLY do damage and fuck you up with raw demon strength if they're able to… Your average mer without magic is like a typical human...A shadowdemon, 1 shadowdemon alone, can give Sharky a run for his money in the strength department so yknowwwwww uhhhhh not good lol...They can take alottttttt of damage, regenerate and are very difficult to fight. Alot in the cult are bloodthirsty though some aren't and are simply...Just trapped in the cult unfortuntely for them... Another thing of mention in the shadowdemon toolkit is something known as 'body-hacking' ...........And yeah, it's exactly what you think it is; demon possession. If a shadowdemon can get inside you and they have bad intentions, it's pretty much curtains for you because there's...Not really a good way to exorcise them out of yourself...They can weaken you and weaken you and weaken you and the weaker you get, the more control they get of you...Andddddddd that's not really good for your ass now is it?? --- Shadowdemon reproduction (might as well since i am talking about them lol...) Shadowdemons-Shadowdemons reproduction is VERYYYY different from humans…For starters, asexual reproduction…Shadowdemons also do not need het coupling to reproduce either, any gender of shadowdemon can join in. Shadowdemons also can reproduce with more then 2 partners, up to 5 (past 5 demons, you usually start getting really bad genetic defects…)

In order to produce a shadowchild, a few steps are taken. (we will discuss this with a average couple of 2, insert whatever gender you'd like, but 2 parents…)

The shadowparents will dig a hole, about 4 or 5 feet deep, deep enough for the offspring to grow.

The shadowparents choose a base parent. A base parent is one that will temporarily sacrifice a limb that will be removed and placed into the hole. The limb removed is usually a arm, hand, foot, or leg. The usual method of limb removal will be through a sword, knife or machete and will be done fast, usually to try and help reduce pain. Once the limb is removed, it is placed into the hole…

The other shadowparent will then proceed to add some sort of dna, usually spit or blood to the limb (though other dna isn't unheard of.)

After this is done, the hole is very very very quickly covered back up and the base parent leaves as quickly as possible to avoid the limb reconnecting to the base parent. After this process is complete, the hole is left alone for a weekend to a full week…Shadowdemons are made very quickly compared to other creatures due to their regeneration aspects…After this timeframe, what's known as a shadowchild, will dig it's way free and into the world, "being born". Shadowdemons do not have a baby stage in life, instead being "born" as children right off the bat(albeit small children…) Shadowchildren are able to take human forms pretty much instantly and resemble 4-6 year old children…Shadowchildren are then either picked up by their shadowparents or move into society themselves and are given food and clothes upon moving into the area. Shadowdemons have areas where orphan shadowchildren can stay as they grow up.

Shadowdemon life cycle: Shadowchild-->Teenager-->Adult Shadowdemon It's noted/thought that the most powerful shadowdemons have some sort of direct connection to Demon Drop...Who was the first shadowdemon and seems to be somewhat different then other shadowdemons...In certain ways... Collin for example is incredibly incredibly strong and takes alot more to tempkill then your typical shadowdemon...This is because Collin is Demon Drop's son, directly apparently (and thus why he has the power he does in the cult...And why he's prince...And everythingggg else...) ------ Shadowdemon culture: There's the cult culture where...You do whatever you are told or face the fire/consiquences OR the shadowdemon outsider culture...Where alot of them try to hide and live their lives like normalass people, wanting absolutely nothing to do with the cult and their bloodshed. It very much depends... It's said too there's a demon fighting group known as 'The Rising Dusts' which is made entirely of ex cult demons and tries to fight against the cult as well as pulling shadowdemons from it...And stopping the whole uhhhh doomsday death thing the Shadowcult wants to spearhead at some point very soon...(Perhaps we'll even get to learn/see/encounter them in series despite them being quite elusive apparently...) The main shadowdemons we will see are from the cult though...And we'll see them in full action, killing mortals, trying to recruit outsider shadowdemons, trying to fuck with demon fighters, trying to bring Demon Drop back, the whole 9...So that'll be funnnnnnn... ------

......I think this is the bulk of info but i mayyyyy probably am missing something, idk, ig i can always do another later on if need be lol...

[magnoliamyrrh]

you know i actually think this is one of the worst fucking parts of csa and incest. i despise admitting it, i absolutely dispise it but theres still times when i miss him. not most times. but theres times. theres still times. theres times when i wish i could pretend all the shit just didn't happen. i tried. there were times when i tired. talking to him was only more red flags. but i missed talking to him. were both insane and hes more insane than me but growing up sometimes i felt like maybe because of that at least we understood each other. i do understand him better than anyone else. for the most part he doesnt understand me anymore. but it scares me how well he does at times. three summers ago when i had a mental breakdown i picked up the phone and called him for the first time in years crying like some foolish child wanting her daddys comfort. clearly, i hadnt learned my lesson well enough. sometimes i still want to. foolish and short cited. it was not always bad and that is what makes it hard. if it was it would be easier. i still remember. he would take me to his architecture studio. he taught me how to make mosaics. hed let me help him on his projects, out on the worksite id be measuring and cutting and putting up mozaics. id stay up with his wife at night and make moonstone lamps. he made me sets of moonstone jewerly. i still have them. he made me jewerly and toys out of leather, delicately painted and cut. he taught me how to paint. he taught me how to draw some things. hed stay with me and drew all the things i wanted him too, dragons and portraits of my lps and whatever pokemon i was obsessed with. i still have them. they still smell like him. my artstyle still has his style within it, spirals and swirls so distinctive, a certain surrealism and abstraction, a obsession with gold. down south we would go digging through the dacian ruins in dobrogea, come back with old pieces of ancient pots and pans. he knew history, much of it. he knew theology. he knew anthropology. he still does. when i was little he would buy me these paleontology sets i was obsessed with, youd have to dig out little plastic dinosaur bones, wed spend hours by the black sea as i dug through them. i always wanted to be a paleontologist. is that why i do anthropology now? is that why a fascination and longing for the ancient is within me? he would take me to church. we spend new years in a monestary, sung verses echoing in its small wooden, painted frame. we spend many nights in them. the smell of frankensece in the air. i still burn it. hes still all over me. hes still in my blood. blood of my blood, he is my blood. lately when i look in the mirror i dont see him anymore, but i still know hes there. i look like his mother. i have his eyes and his hair, but lighter. i have the same bad teeth and the same cigarette obsession and my laugh sometimes cracks like his. he was sick. he is sick. he had to give me his sickness because he couldnt carry it alone. unfair. but i still feel responsible for him. i still miss him. i still do. i still remember the reasons i miss him. i missed him. i wanted him to be around more there were times as a child when id cry and think, at least he woukd understand. i hated him. and never wanted to be around him again. and yet i still loved him. what a nightmare. i wish i didnt remember anything at all

[eccentricwearsgoggles]

58, 111

58. What does your URL mean?

back when I was a teenager drawing was a major creative outlet for me. So I have this OC that's basically like... Me projecting I guess? I was a sad kid, so I drew inspiration from other characters, as well as my desire to be more outgoing, positive, and funny. So I came up with this guy, and one of the words that always stuck with me was like 'oh ppl think he's odd, eccentric, if you will."

Also you know how people are like "x always adds to a character / peak design" well that's me with goggles. If you give a character goggles I'm like 👀

But yeah that's all it is. My preteen username didn't stick as well as this one does, I still feel attachment to it so yeah. It's simple ig idk thanks for asking though! People have asked me every so often

111. A question you hate being asked?

Hm... That's a good question. I think for me, it's not so much the actual questions sometimes, but the context- is this person just being nosey? I've gotten this so many times in the workplace, people pretending to be interested in my life. But I'm actually very private, and I don't like to talk about myself usually. When I'm out of work and in my leisure time that's different, because conversations I have with people are more natural.

Anyways, some people may call this a red flag about a person or whatever but I actually hate the question "why do you still live with your parents?" (in this economy??? Come on guys. As well as an assortment of other valid reasons. Uncalled for) I'm not about to tell people who don't care about me... my life story, it's kind of annoying. And this doesn't get asked all the time, but I think it's moreso when someone's asking oh "why dont you have this / or do this?" That gets to me.

something that I remember to this day was when this one girl asked me "why don't you have a boyfriend?" Which I politely but awkwardly was like "oh just never found the right guy" or whatev. Now that I've been made to feel awkward and uncomfortable so many times, I'm a lot more blunt when I answer questions along that tone, so it might come off rude but I'm just not interested in personal questions by ppl who are sizing me up, or just bored.

[myfriendthedictionary]

today i offer you eva and farrah being friends. tomorrow, who knows?

(click for better quality!)

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

A mighty good team

(Happy Veterans/Armistice Day, y’all, let’s keep peace in our minds, hearts, and prayers.)

When - immediately following ‘Oh my.’ after you saw that little plus sign on Lori’s pregnancy test. It takes place during the night of S02 Cherokee Rose.

What - that seed of worry about your big brother being a ‘cause for concern’ grows a whole lot bigger when you put two and two together about the new bun in the oven. But it’s okay, Daryl had beers right? You’ll just chug whatever he’s got left so you can get out of your head, right? So long as you don’t topple over on the way to his tent!

Relationships - you and your mangy hick make a mighty good team, just sayin’. As well, you comfort Lori, so three cheers for siblingly/non-romantic love. You also make a cop joke to Rick and Shane.

Genre - i dunno, but there’s plenty of platonic fluff once y’all make your way to Daryl’s tent.

Perspective - You x Him

Pronouns - they/them, feminine implied imo

TWs - language, stress related to the Shane/Lori/Rick baby situation as well as Lori reacting with rejection fueled by fear regarding having another child, and Daryl drank 4 beers

Word count - Quit clucking like a mother hen. Lol, don’t worry, it’s about 3,400, so even shorter than the last one, which was shorter than I tend to do. Do I get a prize in the morning? :D

Refs to other stories - tinnitus following too much ibuprofen, how you and Daryl use the ‘idiot’ and ‘bitch’ to insult one another when squabbling because you hate being called ‘idiot’ and he hates being called ‘bitch.’ Check out ‘Oh my.’ so you know what the little fireside nap dream was.

And there are more references, but thankfully we have a: Link to the Masterlist so you can read up and turn into a bonafide Slowpoke! There’s a Ko-fi link, too, if you can spare something to help me pay toward my tires.

You

“Lori.”

“Y/N—” she stammers, but you’re too busy squeezing her again as all your worries melt away. She’s pregnant! After all this time, she’s finally pregnant again!

You’re smiling ear to ear and even crying a happy tears. “Lori, aw, don’t you make that face, this is wonderful news!” you nearly squeal even as you try to keep your voice quiet. “D-does Rick know yet? I’m so—I’m so happy I could scream! What about Carl, you must be—it must be very early days! Four weeks at most, must be?”

She’s crying too. But you see that those aren’t happy tears.

Oh, Lori. She must be scared out of her mind with worry. Can’t fault her there. “Lore, shh, come here.” You sidle up close to her and brush her hair back from her face. “We found a doctor—well, a vet, but he knows his stuff—and Miss Patricia is a nurse. We found a safe place here. And hey, at this rate, we might will find more survivors who have medical training!” you babble, trying to give comfort but meaning every word. “And Glenn and me, we’ll take a team, go to the nearest library or college, g-get us books on, on childbirth and the um, the VBAC stuff, the blood type incompatibility stuff, all that—”

She keeps crying quietly, barely making a sound. You rub her back and flip off and on from thinking thank you over and over to what can I say to help her?

This is wonderful news. Unexpected, scary, but good.

“This ain’t bad news, Lore. I promise.”

She tries to nod and ends up stammering, “I can’t tell Rick,” as if she’s done something wrong.

Red flag.

“What do you mean?”

She’s even quieter when she whispers, “Shane can’t know.” Her voice sounded frightened when she said that part.

Red flag, red flag.

The seed of dread in your stomach is beginning to bud.

Oh, Shane, what have you done? What does your brother have to do with this?

Red flag, red flag, red flag.

You don’t ask anything else, your brain is working too fast for your mouth to work at the moment. The ringing in your ears gets louder. The wooziness worsens even though you’re seated.

Then the connection meets and the waving red flags come to a halt.

You’re…you’re uncertain if the conclusion you drew will insult her. It’s not your intention.

The buds of dread begin to open as you gently and softly ask, “Would you say you’re four weeks along, or maybe a little further?”

Rick came back about four weeks ago. But…you know Shane and she had gotten close. Maybe ‘close’ meant rather closer than you’d assumed.

Neither Shane nor Lori said anything to you about it. You get why.

And…goddammit, you’re angry at Shane (When will he learn? When?), as much as you wish you weren’t. You can’t deny that; but you can understand how it would have happened.

The world ended. Relationships have been on speed-mode, be it friendship, love, or hatred. And Lori is beautiful, your brother is good-looking, and they’ve known each other for decades.

It even could’ve just been down to wanting a release or comfort, you reckon, just look at what happened with Glenn and Maggie today.

And Lori, she had thought she was a widow. Rick was dead, you’d all thought so! And that was after he’d already been in a coma for a month before the world fell apart.

Her face is buried in her lap. She curls in on herself before confessing it.

“I c-could be up to six weeks.”

Oh my.

The dread blooms.

You breathe in, out.

In. Out.

Resting a hand on her back, you stare unblinking at your backpack. “How long have you been carryin’ this alone, Lori,” you murmur, “before taking that test?”

Her hands are gripping her hair as she sniffs in reply, “Just a week. It, it was after we had the goose that I wanted to find a test, b-but…” Her hands cover her face and she bends her knees to her chest.

Your memories hop back to about a week or so ago, after you and Daryl bagged the Canada goose.

As it was cooking, she wasn’t doing too well with the smell. But even domesticated meat can smell kinda nasty when it’s cooking, so you never considered that it could be something more—and when she couldn’t really stomach the meat, you just chalked it up to it not tasting very edible.

And she’s been tired, but everyone has been to some degree. And it’s possible she really is only four weeks; she knew very early with Carl and one of the ones who didn’t make it. But in the event she’s five or six weeks…well, it’s not like she could consider a late period as a sign right now. Cycles have been going haywire since the outbreaks due to all the stress, dietary and exercise changes, and, and…oh, Lori. What do I say, what do I say?

“Rick won’t hate you or blame you.”

She’s trembling. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

“He loves you.”

“But I can’t do this,” she almost snaps. “Condemn another child to a world like this? How could—I-I can’t, I can’t.”

At that, you feel a chill. That’s not good to hear.

You place your fingers over the spot where you’re stitched up from the same fragments that nearly took your Carl away. “Comfort and safety, even good health couldn’t ever be guaranteed,” you hush. “Even before all this, Lore. And you won’t be doing it alone, you’ll have all of us. Hell or high water.”

“B-but what am I gonna do?”

Shushing delicately, you rest your head on hers and can only think to answer, “Let us help you sleep and eat enough, for a start.”

Her breath catches and she releases a suppressed sob into her lap.

The unspoken problem of your brother is still raising its invisible hand.

Your family wasn’t the type who placed too much focus on blood, how could you?, but the context is different when it comes to fostering and adoption.

This is a somewhat stickier situation. And Shane is…Shane. He’ll get very possessive protective of what he’d think was ‘his,’ at least biologically.

What do I say, what do I say?

“Rick will be so happy that there’s another one in there,” you whisper, smiling. “Carl will be so excited.”

She shakes her head and whispers back, “Shane.”

Inhale. Exhale. Swallow. “Like me, he’ll be overjoyed about our new niece or nephew.”

Pulling away, her eyes meet yours and delve deep as if she’s searching for something. “He has to know it’s Rick’s.”

Holding her gaze and trying not to cry, you nod once. “He will.”

“It’s Rick’s,” she repeats under her breath. “It’s Rick’s…"

You close your eyes and send up more prayers for help as you press your forehead to hers.

Then you recall that strange dream you had by the fire and get another chill when you consider how oddly well it fits.

.........................

Him

He had a fourth beer. Chugged it down once he got back to his tent. All he’s got right now to show for it is that slightly warm feeling in his belly. Still barely even got any spins, must be weak-ass beer.

So long as it gets him sleeping.

...........................

You

Nope, sleep is gonna be impossible. This is way too much thinking before bed and your high pulse is making the ringing louder. You’ve got the mp3 player on but even the lowest setting feels too loud because of the clanging in your ears.

Where’s Daryl?

Daryl had beers. That was an eight-pack you saw back at the campfire, right? Yeah. And if there are none left, well, he’s somehow adept at getting you zen (usually after you squabble, but fuck it).

Thoughts are buzzing around your head like flies around a melted snow cone.

Lori is pregnant, and you’re thrilled to bits about it but…Shane’s possibly the biological father…and, fuck it, Shane is a cause for concern…and Sophia is alone for her fourth night in the woods or wherever she is, if she even ‘is’ anymore…and Carl just had major trauma and surgery…and if Mr. Greene finds out about what Maggie and Glenn did, how will he react?…

Not to mention that today you were in a flood-zone during a rainstorm so kept imagining how Dad got washed away and drowned in one, and this is after you had nightmares all last night reliving finding Mama dead and walking seconds before you killed that man.

Too much thinking, too much thinking, and now you’re regretting eating that oatmeal because your stomach feels queasy. If you didn’t know any better, you’d be convinced the roof of your tent was swirling!

But it’s okay, (it’s okay), it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okayyy. It’s. Okay.

Because Daryl had beers.

You’re gonna go ask for one, right now. Dale’s got scotch, sure, but you don’t know where it is and Dale might could be in bed already. And he turned your request down last night, so you’d have to steal sneak some, and if he catches you, he’ll only want to be all, you know, decent and fatherly and caring and shit, therefore won’t be down for you chugging straight from the bottle because you need to get out of your head!

So screw the idea that you shouldn’t have any alcohol after your painkiller miscalculation, the doc gave you the charcoal, so it’s fine, right?

Oh, that’s right, you don’t give a hoot anymore.

After clicking the music player off and yanking the earbuds out, you grit your teeth in pain as you sit up, then zip down and punch open the flap door to your little camo tent and—oh, people are still awake?

Huh.

…What time is it?

Even Jimmy’s still out. Glenn is still talking about something with him, Patricia and Carol are sitting by each other. Rick is finally outside by the fire, too. And Shane is back as well.

He and Rick aren’t sitting close. That’s been a growing problem and heck if it ain’t about to get bigger.

You grab the raggedy blanket from the corner of your tent and try to ignore how dizzy you feel when you move. You carefully walk to the campfire. Then you take Shane’s hand as you ask, “Rick, what’s the time?”

“Quarter past nine. Hey, um, did Hershel talk to you about his idea for Carl?”

…It’s only 9:15?

Blinking in disbelief that’s it’s not 1a.m., you resume what you were doing and plop your brother down next to Rick before remembering to answer, “He did, but um—too much thinking before bed ain’t advisable, so lemme just tuck you two in, we can chat in the mornin’.”

As you lay the blanket on their legs, Shane stifles a groan, knowing what’s coming. The hard lines in Rick’s forehead smooth out and he smothers a laugh, knowing what’s coming. Andrea’s amused hum clues you in that she’s noticed, and you glance over to see her smirking while finishing what’s in her beer bottle.

You look at your brothers. “Should I say, it or?”

It’s Rick who pushes his nose up with his pointer finger. It’s Shane who loses the try-not-to-smile war and outs with: “Pigs in a blanket, yeah?”

..............................

Him

Come on, sleep. Come on, sleep. Come on, sleep.

He wishes he had an I Spy book or some shit. Ha, he still can’t believe that worked that time, clear knocked him out.

Maybe if he had some weed? But Merle and him used it up the first two weeks of the world fucking ending.

There was some…there was some of the hard stuff left. Saw it in the saddlebag when he remembered the pills for T-Dog. Except blow amps you up, it doesn’t chill you out.

Damn, he’s considering using? Dramatic Darylina, just chug a fifth beer and zen the hell up, little bitch.

He fumbles around for his skinning knife, clicks on his flashlight, picks up the last beer and jimmies the cap off. Except he’s not two gulps down when he hears a quiet, “Oh, he is awake. Daryl?”

Y/N is here? Excitedly zipping the door open, he sees them turn around to face him but suddenly crouch/waver as if they’re about to fall over.

“Howdy. May I take you up on that pragmatic beer now?”

“Why you all crouched like that?” he grunts.

“I’m a tad dizzy.”

“Why?”

“’Cause my ears are ringin’.”

“Still?”

“It’s like Quasimodo is in there or somethin’.” They point with their thumb toward the treeline. “Accidentally took too many painkillers back at the old couple’s house off the trail.”

Shit, do they need their stomach pumped or something? And why is he starting to panic?

“It’s just ibuprofen, Dary-bear, plus the doc already gave me charcoal as a precaution, it’s all good,” they drone. “Might could I please have a beer?”

Aren’t you not supposed to mix painkillers and alcohol? And wait, Y/N knows that stuff, they mentioned it earlier. Plus, there was only one left and he’d—damn, of course he’d opened it.  

“This is the last one,” he lamely replies.

“But there were two left…” they trail off. There’s this look on their face he can’t quite place. “Oh Daryl, how many did you have tonight?”

“…Four,” he tells them, feeling weirdly like a kid caught doing something he shouldn’t.

They nod to the bottle in his hand. “Is that your fifth?”

Did they just use a teacher voice with him? And not even an annoyed high school teacher voice, that right there was a kindergarten-teacher-telling-the-students-it’s-nap-time voice.

“What about it?”

He hears them tut and watches them frown before saying, “Hand it over.”

“Quit cluckin’ like a mother hen.”

“Quit screwin’ with your liver.”

“Coming from the idiot who took too many painkillers and wanted to wash it down with beer?”

“That’ll mess with the kidneys and stomach long-term, bitch, not the liv—” snips from their mouth until they realize what they just admitted. At first, they look confused. Then, they chuckle as if something was funny.

“Y’all good down there?” Shane’s voice calls from the campfire. Were the two of them arguing that loud?

“Ugh, fuck me,” Daryl grumbles to himself and takes another swig of his beer.

“Shane don’t swing that way, sorry,” is the furthest thing from what he expected Y/N to respond, and he snarfs up some beer accordingly while Y/N waves to their brother and gives him a thumbs up.

Cracking up, Y/N sighs, then moves from their crouched position onto their butt and sharply inhales when they do because it probably made their stitches ache. “‘Quit clucking like a mother hen’ was really funny, by the way.”

“Mhm, I’m here to entertain,” he grits back, both annoyed that he just snarfed up his beer and yet trying not to laugh too openly.

Their eyes flit to the bottle.

He *grumble* offers it to them. They bite their lip and shake their head. “That weren’t exactly my intention anymore.”

He glances at the bottle and…*grumble* then finds himself twisting his wrist so the beer pours out onto the grass. “Pain in the ass.”

............................

You

Beer now watering (intoxicating?) the grass, Daryl scoots back and reclines in his tent, adjusting his back to get comfortable. To your annoyance and concern, you’re intrigued at how his body moved kinda cat-like and how his arms look rather nice above his head like that.

“So, what’s the big secret?” he slurs just a tad.

The big secret? Did he see you and Lori go into your tent and assume—how would he have—???

“We didn’t talk about anything major, uh, it’s…” you trail off. Oh, he meant how you promised you’d tell him about…the man you shot and killed. You send up another simple prayer of I’m sorry regarding him and inwardly knock your head against a table because you’d promised you’d tell Daryl that little not-so-fun-fact over a beer. What a move, Y/N. “I thought you meant somethin’ else, my bad. Um—”

“—Don’t tell me you got more dirt? Was that whatever you and Glenn talked about? He looked like he coulda used a beer after you two were done.”

A monotone, noncommittal sound leaves your mouth as you stare into space.

Pretty night sky again. You consider the wonderful part of the latest batch of dirt. Lori’s pregnant again! “It’s good dirt. Well, half of it is.” Oh, Shane, what’s gonna happen with you?

“What is it, then?” Daryl huffs.

Oops. “Just some stuff.”

“Quarter.”

Okay, you walked into that one. How many quarters for white lies do you owe so far, two?

Appealing to his…dunno, maybe his sense of loyalty, you remind him, “Snitches get stitches, man.”

To which he cracks, “Y’already got some.”

Scrunching up your face in delight, you clap your hands together as you snort, “You’re on a roll tonight,” while trying not to tighten your core too much because ouchhh, those stitches of yours still hurt when you do so. Glancing over at him, he’s actually smiling.

Within seconds, however, he’s back to his usual standoffish self. He waves his hand in question. “So, why you tryin’ to get hammered this time?”

“Well, I ain’t anymore.” You already feel better. And you’d only wanted a beer or shot or two of liquor, nothing too crazy.

Now he’s doing that squinty thing at you as he grunts, “That your way of saying ya wanna drop it?”

You shrug. “What made you start on your fifth beer?”

“Dunno.”

“Quarter,” you tease.

“Stop.”

“Ha-ha.” You run your hand through your hair and realize your dizziness is ebbing. “So, what time we leavin’ tomorrow, 6, 6:30?”

He shakes his head from where he’s laying. “The group is gonna have a meet-up before we all head out. They’ll wanna wait ’til the sun is bright enough, count on 7:30 or 8.”

“We can’t just go earlier?”

“Today, all them kept running into each other’s grids. We need to make it clear where we’re lookin’ and when.”

“Fair play.” Adjusting your position and fighting the urge to lay down, you make sure, “Think you and me’ll be done searching the road and the ridge by 12 or 1?”

“I guess. Why?”

Don’t get mad. “Mr. Greene asked for my help with a medical procedure for Carl. Early afternoon I said I might would be back by.”

..............................

Him

He can’t get mad about that, no way. And early afternoon is enough time to scope out what they’d planned.

But is he…is he that much of an asshole that even Y/N for some reason thought helping a child who’s just been shot wouldn’t seem like a good enough reason to him?

And what the hell does his opinion matter, anyway? Besides, he can do shit on his own, don’t need nobody.

“You take care of Carl, I’ll find Sophia,” he says simply.

But this twitchy sensation wiggles in his chest when they immediately respond, “Deal,” with a relieved exhale. The nice feeling gets stronger when they then mumble, “We make a mighty good team, just sayin’.”

And Y/N then just flat-out lays down on the grass outside his tent. One hand rests on their belly, the other stretches up over their head.

“Hey Daryl? I was so happy to see the flower in the RV,” his friend next mumbles. “Carol said you told her the story, too.”

He isn’t sure how to respond, so he changes the topic. “Y’look like you’re about to nod off right there.”

“Mm, I feel so relaxed now. You did good, dude.”

What does that mean? Weirdo.

…He feels more relaxed now, too, though. Even if the two of them didn’t get into much conversation, they had a fun little squabble.

Maybe he should…yeah, he’ll dump the coke somewhere tomorrow. He’d heard something about a bloated, dead walker in a well out in one of the pastures, so he’ll prolly toss it in there since no one will be drinking from it.

The crickets aren’t as loud tonight. It’s colder.

Just to check on Y/N, he lifts his head slightly.

Seeing them lounging on the lawn like that first makes him contemplate tossing them his pillow, but it’s nasty so instead he figured an alternate plan would be his poncho so they can be more comfortable.

But, he thinks better on it, and “Go on, get your ass to bed,” is what he settles on.

They whine.

He grumbles. “Do I need to get your big brother over here?”

“Psht.”

A smile starts to form that he keep under wraps. He knows what’ll do the trick. “Gonna get ants and teeny little spiders all up in your hair and clothes.”

Sure enough that gets them going, complete with another whine.

“Goodnight, dude,” they snort.

“Yeah, g’night.”

He isn’t sure what made him lift his head to check on them again, but when he happens to look over, their face is contorting in pain as they attempt to position themselves in a way that’s avoiding using their injured arm/shoulder and their abdominal muscles to sit up so they can stand.

.....................

You

Him helping you up wasn’t expected, since he’d been laying down. But just like that, he’s out of his tent and gripping your forearm on your good side to hoist you upright.

Once you’re on your feet, his hand touches your back for a moment and you cup his upper arm to steady yourself.

“Thanks for the assist, man,” you sigh, brushing off your butt in case any dirt or grass stuck to it.

“Yeah. See ya in the morning.”

So, not to overshare, but that simple touch felt really nice. And his arm is hard as a brick.

Eesh, this whole Glenn/Maggie thing is messing with you.

Whatev, you do know one thing: what you told Hershel about feeling safe around Daryl was accurate and honest. Your That mangy hick, for some reason, simply isn’t threatening in that way.

And dude thank God you’d gone to see Daryl, for real. Y'all make a good team.

Wait, what was it exactly you’d sa — oh Moses, your twang had come back full force with him, hadn’t it? You’d said ‘a mighty good team,’ that’s right.

Ha, you talk like such stereotype sometimes.

“See you in the morning, Rick,” you call softly as you pass him on the way to your tent. “Sleep in a little later with Lori tomorrow, you both could use it.”

.........................

Him

He watches to make sure they don’t topple over on the way back. Thinks about how they did indeed mother-hen him, however, in all honesty, he doesn’t mind (that much, anyway).

He wonders where Sophia is sleeping. If she’s safe. If she ‘is.’

Shit, he flicks that thought off and shoves something better in its place: that tomorrow is only day four. He’d survived nine days at a younger age, she could survive, too.

Then, he’s thinking back on how Y/N looked so relaxed there on the grass a few minutes ago...which is a kinda weird thing to be thinking about.

Next he remembers how when they were talking to the doctor earlier, it was plain as day they’d lessened their accent. It sounded damn wrong to hear their voice like that, barely a twang in it.

He compares it to how comfy (and twangy) they sounded when they sighed “We make a mighty good team, just sayin’.”

That little fluttering warms in his chest again at the same time the corners of his mouth raise. And finally, all at once, his eyelids sink down, limbs grow heavy and he at last falls asleep.

................

teeny tiny taglist :D

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[cedricdiggs]

controversial opinion but,

boris is not a very good person. he’s not even a very good friend to theo. like of course there were sweet moments between the two, (him being there when theo had nightmares, etc.) and i understand if you haven’t read the books why you might like him, but because the time that theo was a teenager was so short lived in the movie, we didn’t get a chance to see their relationship develop. like as noted in the first chapter of the book, theo was so against smoking as was his mom. so you can only assume that boris peer pressured him. but it’s also the fact that (this may not be accurate) since theos dad was an alcoholic, the last thing i would want to do is drink alcohol. i noticed throughout the book that theo is 100% a people pleaser. so i can only think that the reason he’s doing these thing is so he doesn’t make boris feel bad or for whatever reason he may feel. i also noticed that in the book as his relationship with boris developed, the way he thought/the way he viewed life changed pretty drastically, much less detailed, much more angered/aggressive, (but his dad probably also played into that)

i remember when kotku came along, 1. boris like immediately started ditching theo (which i’ll get into in a sec) and 2. the way theo thought was definitely different, it was much more detailed and you could tell as theo was thinking back on their relationship there were definitely things he didn’t like. now this was referring to the hooking up, but it’s still something to think about and that is, “i wanted to tell him where i drew the line” (not a direct quote, but it was something like that) also him saying “i told myself i didn’t miss him, but i did.” makes me think of the fact that he knows the things they’re doing is wrong/he doesn’t want to do them.

When Boris and Kotku started dating it was so obvious that Boris can leave Theo for anyone with the snap of a finger if that makes sense, now i understand that they were dating but before Boris’ world consisted of just him and Theo, always prioritizing him, but now it was just him and Kotku, I also understand that he did invite Theo to hang out with them sometimes, but i dislike the fact that Boris completely ignored the fact that Theo was clearly uncomfortable around her. I know this sounds so like argh annoying i guess and i don’t mean to be one of “those” fans who criticize everything, but dear lord i hate how people are romantacizing/idolizing boris and how he acts.

It’s also the way he guilt trips Theo (maybe knowingly, maybe not) and again i don’t mean to be one of “those” fans, but it’s the way he’s like “you don’t want me to get in trouble do you.” “i’m literally going to kill myself.” i dunno it just feels like Boris taking advantage of Theo.

Final thing; i feel like the only reason Theo sticks by Boris is because he knows that Boris will always stick to the same routine, because if you have read the book and you noticed that when his mom died Theo lost all sense of a routine which in my opinion, made Theo feel like everything is falling apart (of course it was but for this i mean in the way of the way he lives not being the same everyday.) The routine consists of them getting high and/or drunk > goofing off > falling asleep (or hooking up 🤗🥲🫶) > throwing up in the morning > being hungover. It seems like it happens everyday, and even though it’s very self destructive it gives something for Theo to hold onto.

To me it just feels wrong that people love someone who’s sort of manipulative and someone who just has so many red flags, i’m not saying theos the best character ever either though (even though i love him with my whole heart,) because he’s the one who said yes when he could’ve said no, he never had to become friends with boris in the first place, but it still feels like boris isn’t great. (HUGE DISCLAIMER; THIS IS JUST MY OPINION YOU DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE AT ALL, DONT COME AT ME MAN)