#I hate being fat so much
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Pulling out my senti jacket with the most jellyfish looking fem dress to have ever dressed, and Grog. Also it’s fucking embarrassing that my feet dosnt reach the ground wtf snsnsmsjdj
#grog#grog is the best#senti#senti jacket#senti my love#fit checks#I hate being fat so much#I’m sorry sjsnsksjjss#I just don’t like how I look today djdjhdjd
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okay internet, i know that you not ready for this but
it's strange being all omgyes #slay yay totaly okay for like, all kinks, but going #omg wtf cringe scull emoji about fat kink
like we as society know how kinks works (importance of consents, special rules for practices like using special candles for wax play, etc), we know how really infinite can human fantasy go and so on and so on but why is it still taboo to be openly horny about things like big tasty meal with your lover
can we be finally chill about it
p.s. i have post which gives good arguments on this topic but i couldn't find it by search, only in my blog archive, so here is the link.
The problem with fat kink is not in it existing, but in not-exsisting of range of image of fatness in media
#i have even more old post there i make smth like comming out like:#guys i am the biggest sinner i had fat kink-#- but i hated myself so much and spiralling myself into selfhate because of that so hard that i don't have libido now and don't feel sh it-#-how cool is that guys! i defeated the evil inside!#this post is a mess because its like#it literally has quote smth like “i will better feel nothing then feeling the kink”#like#oh old me#it was good that i posted it back then because people were like#“dude you spiralled for * this * for six years?”#and yes i did spiraling on this for six years#thinking i am worst human on earth#especiallly because i draw representation#btw i am NOT planning to change smth in art or draw fat kink#i mean my art goal is to make art for balance#there are aaaa lot of fat kink art so i am not needed there#but art with just fat characters being interesting characters with lore and story and in some project like leads in game or comics#or art with fat characters who are hot but it isn't about common food theme (i write about it in linked post)#this art is very rare and that is that i do#and will do#thank you for coming to my tedtalk#close y puter and go to the bed with loony tunes noise
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So now i have migraines apparently 😭
#wahh#it started this morning and i had to lay down this afternoon#all the stress of the past 24 hours i guess#it’s like a nightmare#literally having flashbacks to 2016#not as bad the second time lol starting to get used to it#real dark#never ever underestimate how much america hates women#the saddest part is that u can just See It#all of the men / a lot of them / where i live act like him#big fat misogynistic jerks#they’re all such cruel bullies#im trying not to let it get to me but it’s hard#one day at a time#there’s so many good people out there too#kind nice people#idk#kinda feels like drowning rn#but u gotta keep going#sometimes thinking about all the art i want to make is literally the only thing that keeps me going#so that’s good!#make stuff#draw paint write whatever#and fuck trump#notes tag#i couldn’t stand the thought of there being any doubt#so#i hate trump#boooo
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anne maria! 💎💅
in my own headcanons, she’s def plus sized!
we need more fat total drama girls tbh
#total drama#total drama island#total drama revenge of the island#tdri#tdroti#total drama fanart#td anne maria#anne maria#total drama Anne maria#art#my art#artists on tumblr#fanart#procreate#artwork#drawing#cartoon#cartoons#digital art#redesign#headcanon#headcanons#drew this because someone drew gwen slightly chubby a few months ago and they got so much hate for it#i wanna show ppl being fat isn’t bad and i can redraw td characters as fat if i want to
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i think part of the reason people are so hateful about fat people is because theyre not fat, even though they put little to no effort into their diet and daily activity levels. even if they dont live healthy lifestyles and theyre not trying to, and theyre still a "normal" weight. and because theyre ignorant and resistant to learning about how peoples bodily functions vary wildly, anyone who is fat must have brought it upon themselves by being extra lazy or extra glutinous and if they were normal they wouldnt be fat and its soooo easy to not be fat because look at them theyre not fat. which is so fucking stupid because so many people complain about how skinny people exist without "earning" how skinny they are, theyre literally just like that even if they eat tons of food because they're trying desperately not to be skinny. but the opposite cant be true for fat people apparently. fatness is always a direct consequence of abnormal habits apparently.
#e.txt#tw fatphobia mention#i know people assume skinny people eat nothing all the time too but every skinny ass mf i meet is like omg i can eat so much and not gain#anything teehee#and i see so many skinny ppl will flood comments of fat positive ANYTHING talking about how they hate being skinny so much and eat so much#to try to gain weight but its not working#like skinny ppl wont shut up about how hard it can be to gain weight but god forbid a fat person suggest its hard to loose weight bc then#theyre just being lazy.#ppl will tell me i should eat less to lose weight meanwhile im living off an orange and a cup of nuts for brunch#and 1/2 salmon filet a cup of rice and veggies for dinner#and i walk 8 hours a day 3 times a week.#if i eat less i will get nauseous i will get dizzy i will get a migraine and i will be a bitch#yes obviously this is a personal grievance but like am i wrong?#rant#probably less than a cup of rice even i make a cup and then split it in half with my partner and sometimes dont even finish it
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what awakened your passion for big women ?
ever since i was a little girl i saw women older than me ajd id try to impress them by doing things like doing good in school (i was very dumb lots of teachers hated me but that made them give me more attention and that made me go yay !!! uf i suck they yell at me more and oay attention to me yippeee !!! ) and giving them drawings of things ... that attraction to okder women then developed into atttractoon to older AND bigger women because god i jsut mena .. fuck .. have you sen them ... i love my womej big .. tall .. wide .. like just BIG .. maybe it debeloped because i enjky weighted blankets and so the thoight of a big womab sitting on my face is hot ... or maybe because i want to hold them and grip their body and alsl .. show then love .. theres more skin fo4 me to kiss and bite and be all roamntic on .. aldo because im a lady who loves wpmen .. i mean really at this poinr ... who DOESNR love big women like actually .. i fucking love big women ..
#I LOVE BIG WOMEN !!!!#short .. tall .. whatever ..#i mean why do any of us have types right ...#im a simple lesbain !! i enjly big women because i wnat to hold them !!#an si want them to sit on me !!!#i want a big woman to sit on my lap but in lime a non srxual way#in a srxula way also of course#but juat to have a womaj in my lap is great#i reallly enjly being sat on if any of you havent notoced yet#i like the weight of someone on me#aleo most of the teachers i had in primary school who hated me were fat#i dont think that has much to do with it but if we are to see a pattern ...#all the teachers i liked and wnated to impress hated me and would shout at me everyday and i enjoyed that actually#so that coukd be it#who koes ...#i just love big women
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wow so all of a sudden i'm seeing ppl making videos "exposing" a youtuber, and most comments are shitting on said youtuber for "romanticizing obesity" even though they were like "hey, fat ppl, you can eat what you like!"
#i don't even bother watching the videos themselves#lotus.txt#i fucking hope the youtuber isn't being harassed SOLELY for this#but even then that is fucked up#i hate seeing fat ppl agreeing with this fatphobic mentality so others can use it as an excuse to be fatphobic#ugh#i hate the internet so fucking much#fatphobia tw#ranting#ranting in tags
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I want to be thin enough to be someone's thinspo
#tw ed but not sheeran#thinspø#🕯️as a feather#i need to lose so much weight#i wish i was weightless#⭐️ve#i want to lose weight#wl#tw food#i will lose weight#tw thinspi#i just want to be thin#thinneristhewinner#thinsperation#i hate being fat#fat
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some vent art with ganyu
#today i got to see some of her lore i haven't seen before and i felt sorry for her life and eternal loneliness she's going through#its such an interalized loneliness no one can get rid of it except for her but ganyu used to live with thought of being misunderstood#so she cannot escape it...she is different but she cant help but see it as a problem#i really feel it as neurodivergent person.... i believe ganyu can be considered neurodivergent too idk#i think due to qilin peaceful nature its rare for ganyu to get mad but she is human still so its natural#she can hate people and situations wow! (i bet she is blaming herself for those emotions as well)#and i think when her brain and body fails her because of fatigue she may become so frustrated she will get angry#on everything including herself#also big thought...cloud retainer mentions that ganyu liked her horns being caressed as a child#what if now as an adult ganyu does it herself to bring some comfort#it shows well that she is...used to be alone..and take care of#thats the thoughts for today#i like ganyu very much#genshin impact#genshin ganyu#ganyu#my art#sketch tag#fat ganyu
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Annoying fandom people when you tell them characters do things based on writers’ decisions and biases and are not fully autonomous sapient beings they’re watching in a terrarium
#babbles#this is in general an ideal i hold very close in fandom stuff but like especially abt wc cuz that fandom sucks with this#i hate warriors fans so much it’s unreal. it’s not ‘these writers have weird ideas about what is romantic’ but ‘this character is toxic!!1’#boiling down what can be a meaningful discussion about abuse and patriarchal standards into a purely blorbobrained character argument#about in universe traits like these characters are real and we need to give them counseling#because having the 500th soapbox about bramblestar or nightheart or whoever being abusive makes you feel progressive#like. i'd love to discuss for instance the misogynistic standards that the erins have as writers and how that affects their work.#i dont however care to discuss which Fictional Cat For Ten Year Olds is the most Problematic. bc that does nothing#reminds me of that tweet abt like the fatphobic trope of chars being depressed or hitting a low point and being fat slobs#and ppl came in waves like 'no it makes sense because he was depressed and xyz etc etc' like we're discussing a real person#and not constructs made by writers that show fatphobic ideologies. missed the point so hard dude.#less 'character does this' more 'writer made the character do this'. not even in criticism but in discussing themes etc etc
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truly at the end of the day its all about receiving validation
#<- was having a lot of fun drawing fat william till he stopped to think about what other people might think#<- very important that people like him just as much as i do#<- incredibly important (i love him so much and his character is so much more nuanced than the fandom ever gives him credit for#and he already gets shat on way too often by people who don't understand what they're talking about)#truly the amount of hate based around him being a murderer is insane. Brother he's not a real life murderer. he's not going to#come out of the screen and hurt you#I NEED PEOPLE TO AT LEAST LIKE HIM A LITTLE BIT *bursts into tears*#and i need validation#and getting people to simp for him and think oh hes hot 😳 is one of the easier and more entertaining ways to get nice comments#what i lack in skill and talent i can make up for in character design and suggestive subtext right?#ugh#i dunno it feels like the only way to get people to say sometjing nice about my art sometimes#don't get me wrong i adore drawing him slutty but. ougggghhhhhh#hope it doesnt sound like im implying he's less attractive if hes fat personally i think hes hot as fuck#its mostly about stupid ass conventionally attractive shit#and also that people get bullied for portraying him fat... That too#anyways#im normal again now#toxi.txt
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dude if something gay doesnt happen to me soon i might actually go insane
#text#ughhhh trying to refrain from bitching and moaning in these tags. but oh my god.#being a fat trans dude is awesome but also kinda sucks like damn nobody want me fr!!#i hate that i had to grow up in one of the more nasty conservative parts of florida pre t no confidence in high school#and then had like a few months of actually doing gay shit w someone in college before getting rocked by a trauma response or some shit#so bad that it feels like i forgot how to do anything socially#why does one prolonged bad experience with someone when i was 15 still have to affect me like this as an adult. im a grown ass man#WHYYYYYYY DO I STILL FEEL LIKE THIS#dude i just wanna lay on someones lap like a cat again. is that so much to ask. kms
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staring at my face in the passenger mirror n trying not 2 cry why do i liike like That,,, , why is my face so pulled down why does it all have to make shadows like that i look So old
#i feel like i always have. ive always looked like i am 90yrs old LMAO. . ...... h#even when i was a kid & skinny enough u could see my chest bones i still had a huge round head#which btw it is so strange to see pictures of me looking like that#because i swear i have always been chubby#i remember my family always saying how i was the fat one#i was filled w baby fat i needed to lose#and i remember being that kid so vividly but looking so different n hating myself for it#and sneaking to the fridge 2 literally stuff my face with as much vegetables as i could find because i thought thats how u lost weight#bc i was too young to understand
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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Stumbled across r/Noses recently and it’s really a fascinating subreddit bc like half the posts are “I hate my big ugly disgusting terrible nose” *4 pictures of person with completely unremarkable nose*
A lot of people are also saying that they despise their nose because they got bullied for it and then their nose just like, has a cute little upturn or a little more of a hump than most people have.
I’ve had to stop commenting bc I just keep telling everyone that they have a beautiful nose bc it’s true and I’m scared if someone looks through my comment history they’ll think I’m some kinda nose fetishist. No man I just feel really terrible that all these people have been made to hate their noses and I’m trying to counteract the years of bullying a little bit
#I have a big nose too so it’s a little personal#but bullying people based on their appearance was just not that common at the schools I went to I guess?#like I wasn’t bullied for being ‘fat’ either even tho I was fatter than almost all my classmates#I WAS bullied for being weird and bookish and awkward (middle school) and being loud and a feminist (high school)#uh where I was going with these tags originally was:#I was never bullied for my nose so I’ve only ever been a little insecure about it#if I had been bullied over it I might hate it as much as these people do
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can people not tag their ed posts eith a bunch of bpd/irl yan tags and some esoteric "tw 3d not $h33ran" bullshit. keep that in your own space and learn how to tag its "tw eating disorder" or "tw ed" if youre gonna tag it at all. its soooo fucking performative.
#... servant's song ♪#im following the bpd tag for posts abt fucking bpd not to hear abt how much you just hate being fat and not pretty#nice dichotomy idiot now what falls outside it. fat people are pretty. sometime skinny people are fucking ugly.#ive been there before i understand but god is it hurtful just trying to exist as a fat person in mental health spaces when so frequently#it intersects with the fatphobic pro-ana side of the internet. and it just poisons all discussions therein.#i hope if youre still struggling with an ed or are trying to recover you'll be able to see one day that your worth isnt just your weight#you can be fat and beautiful or pretty or handsome or whatever you want to be.#but that doesnt even matter you should be able to be fat and ugly as fuck and still be treated with basic respect !!! fuck pretty privelege#sorry this turned into a discoursey ramble but hey you follow for the occasional yan post and stay to study me under a microscope
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