#I had to watch it today on the 20th anniversary
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LOST Rewatch Episode 2 liveblog:
The characters meeting makes my heart melt. Hurley and Sayid shaking hands made me emotional.
Kate in the ocean is such shameless ‘for the men’ mid-2000s soft core p*rn, but all I can think is how that bra is not going to survive the salt water
They won’t show up to s2 but I keep thinking about The Others freaking out about the plane somewhere in the distance. Ben is currently scrambling.
Jin and Sun, those crazy kids. But also fuck Jin in this episode he’s so horrible to Sun ITS A TROPICAL ISLAND LET HER KEEP HER TOP BUTTON UNDONE.
“Dude I’m starving but I’m nowhere near that hungry” Hurley I adore you
“I’m looking for my son” better get used to that, Michael
“when we get home I’ll get you another dog” 10/10 parenting there
Whenever I see Boone I say ‘fucks sake Boone’
Shannon and Boone are the worst
Kate and Sayid stood there like 😐
Sawyer I remember hating you when I first watched this, then growing to love you. Can’t wait to retread that arc.
I love them all, although my favourite is stood somewhere in the barracks thinking to himself ‘wtf am I going to do about this’
Brilliant ‘actors clambering around tree roots acting like they’re scaling a cliff’
LOCKE. LOCKE. LOCKE. TERRY.
“What is it like checkers?” - the plot of the show.
I WONDER WHAT THIS IS
POLAR BEAR POLAR BEAR POLAR BEAR
I’m laughing because I know how angry people get about the polar bear
“Is that what killed the pilot” fuck off Boone
“I’m not so good around blood” well your future protector bestie is going to be very good at getting covered in it so you’d better get used to it
Oh my god I forgot Danielle gets introduced this soon
”Where are we?” LOST. Gives me Always Sunny title card punchlines
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AWW YEAH WE MADE IT.
So because I've basically cheated my way through every run I've ever done, for today, the fourth anniversary of starting Bloodlines for the first time on December 1st 2020, I decided I was going to do the tower with narry a single cheat. No godmode, no notarget, no noclip. Just Obfuscate 5 and a whole lot of blood packs.
I goddamn love Obfuscate 5.
Died a few times - once during the tower siege itself (forgot to take out some of the soldiers, so when the Dominated guy showed up, I instantly got machine gunned by the other three in the vicinity), then a bunch of times to Sheriff. First time, got to the second round but had taken so much agg damage I died to the first swipe from the critters, second time I didn't even get to that round after trying the flamethrower, third time I managed to get to the second round, saved, then, uh, died again.
Next attempt, got near the end, then... game fuckin' crashed. Tried again, killed Sheriff! ...Then got killed by beasties.
Anyway. Got there in the end, taunted LaCroix ("Give you a massive chest wound? My pleasure!"), and proceeded to violently dance to Come Alive for six minutes, then spent several minutes more watching Asher and a giant werewolf dance to near-complete silence except the crackle of the fire and the ticking of the clock.
Like goddamn imagine poor LaCroix just lying there bleeding out while the unkillable week-old murderfledgling dances in complete silence for like ten minutes. (I like to imagine afterwards Asher just tosses LaCroix his last blood pack and hands him over to Nines. "Here, he's your problem now. Go do an Enemies to Lovers about it.")
Last lot of stats. I did cheat a little, but just for Appearance and Subterfuge. For enrichment~
The runs:
Briar, Toreador: Started and finished 1st December 2020 after deciding he was too baby to inflict the game on
Sierra, Anarch Gangrel: Started 1st December 2020, finished 19th December 2020 (but didn't see the actual ending until the 21st due to the cutscene glitch)
Icarus, Camarilla Tremere: Started 13th January 2021, finished 11th February 2021
Asher, Anarch Malkavian: Started 16th November 2024, finished 1st December 2024!
Happy 20th anniversary to the game for the 16th, happy 4th anniversary to actually playing the game for the first time to me!
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The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie 20th Anniversary!
I can't believe it's been 20 years since one of my favorite movies came out!
I still vividly remember going to the theater with my Burger King toys, watching the opening, and wondering if my family and I had entered the wrong theater to learn that we were, in fact, watching The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.
To celebrate, as promised, I've released two more remakes of videos I originally released ten years ago today. This time of this video:
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In that video, I took clips of that movie and made SpongeBob sing "Goofy Goober Rock", one of the big songs in the film.
Now, I've released these videos:
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They do the same thing but take clips from throughout the series (including this movie). There are also more clips added to the section that's mostly just footage from the actual film, as well as a few other adjustments like that.
What's the difference between the two? The first one is more similar to the original, where it's just the clips in their original length. The second one has the clips at the speed the words are in the original song.
There's also one more unique feature to these videos, which I regret not doing for the "Now That We're Men" remakes. Despite what the thumbnail might suggest, the clips of the original Goofy Goober Rock section in the remake videos are in 4K!
If you haven't read it already, I suggest reading this post about the "Now That We're Men" remakes.
#spongebob squarepants#the spongebob squarepants movie#20th anniversary#krusty krab#sheldon j plankton#princess mindy#patrick star#sandy cheeks#mrs. puff#mr. krabs#king neptune#gary the snail#squidward tentacles#bikini bottom#Youtube#goofy goober#goofy goober rock#4k
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Meagan Good Reunites With ‘D.E.B.S.’ Co-Star Sara Foster & Director Angela Robinson For 20th Anniversary, Jordana Brewster Calls For Sequel
by Glenn Garner - Deadline, June 23, 2024
After 20 years MIA, the D.E.B.S. (Discipline, Energy, Beauty, Strength) are back together again and teasing a potential (not-so-secret) mission.
Meagan Good and Sara Foster, who starred together in 2004’s D.E.B.S., reunited Saturday night with writer and director Angela Robinson to celebrate the sapphic cult classic’s 20th anniversary with a Cinespia screening at Hollywood Forever Cemetery, in partnership with LA Pride.
“This film, for me, was an opportunity to do something different,” said Good as they introduced the film. “And then it became something where, now when people come up to me and they say, ‘Oh, I loved this movie’ or ‘this movie really inspired me’ or ‘made me feel seen,’ it wasn’t just an opportunity to do something different. It was an opportunity to be a part of something that’s important and fantastic.”
Foster echoed her co-star’s sentiments. “I will say that in 20 years, a lot of good things have happened to me in my life,” she said. “And to this day, one of the best things is people coming up to me and saying, ‘D.E.B.S. made me feel comfortable being who I am. D.E.B.S. made me realize who I am, who I want to be.’
“And it’s happened consistently for 20 years. So, I’ve done a lot of really shitty movies and a lot of shitty TV shows, but this is a movie that made a difference, probably the only thing I ever did that made a difference, at least in the movie business,” added Foster.
Foster starred in the action comedy — based on Robinson’s 2003 short of the same name — as Amy Bradshaw, a gifted recruit at a top-secret women’s paramilitary academy. During a mission to take down the illusive super criminal Lucy Diamond (Jordana Brewster), Amy develops an attraction to the enemy and finds her loyalties tested.
Although the movie’s marketing watered down its LGBTQ themes and it ultimately grossed less than $100,000 at the box office, D.E.B.S. has gone on to cult status among its intended fanbase.
“We made this so long ago, and my goal, our goal collectively was, I just wanted to see a teen movie that I wish I had when I was a teenager,” recalled Robinson. “And we had such a blast making the movie, and we had a great premiere at Sundance. And then the movie came out and totally flopped.
“But here’s the thing, I was so bummed out because I was like, ‘It’s not gonna get to the audience that I wanted to see this movie.’ And then you guys went and found it. Then somebody would tell me ‘yeah, I rented it in the video store.’ And I was all mad at the time … that they weren’t advertising it as a gay movie. But then it became this kind of underground thing where people would tell me they rented it at the video store or passed it or watched it on TV or something like that. And then it’s grown into this today. So, I want to say thank you so much.”
Robinson also thanked her wife of 25 years, Alexandra Kondracke, “who told me not to take the script and stick it in the drawer like I was going to,” as well Sony Screen Gems’ Clint Culpepper and Stacy Kramer, “because I can’t believe anyone gave us money to make this, but you did, and it’s amazing.”
“But mostly, I want to thank all of you for coming and being here and supporting D.E.B.S. because a bunch of people have come up to us collectively, and they said, ‘D.E.B.S. changed our lives,'” added Robinson. “And that’s incredibly gratifying to see all these years later.”
Although Brewster was in New Zealand and unable to attend the reunion, she graced her friends and fans with a video message, in which she imagined an “older, wiser Lucy Diamond. Has she learned her lesson? I don’t know… Probably not.”
“Have fun. I love you guys. I’m with you in spirit,” added Brewster. “And bug Angela about making a sequel, please.”
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Marijuana Cigarettes
Happy 4/20 y'all🍃! Here's a little Ellie x Reader ramble with smoking, movies, and smut. It's not beta read so forgive me for any mistakes. Also, I am in a writing slump so if y'all have any prompts or suggestions on what to write next pls let me know!!💟
Word count: 2k
Warnings: smut (mdni) 18+
You got a text this morning from your girlfriend saying plainly, “Come over tonight?”
Even though the text seemed a bit eerie you knew that was just Ellie. She was awkward as hell over text, it made you giggle every time you got a strange vague text from her.
She probably just wanted to watch a movie or show you another dinosaur book she found at the library.
At 7 you decided to head over to her and Joel's house. You parked your car outside of the main house on the street and followed the narrow path down the side of the house and through the back gate.
The path was slightly covered in a bit of lingering snow from the storm a few days ago but come the morning sun tomorrow it would most likely all melt away.
You made your way to the garage door, tapping your feet on the mat outside to rid your shoes of the sticky snow before turning the brass nob and entering the warm-ish detached garage.
Ellie was standing in front of her desk fiddling with something you couldn’t see when you walked in. You bent down to unlace your shoes as Ellie turned around alerted to your entrance by the squeak of the door, “Hey baby,”
“Hey,” You say standing up and padding across the room to Ellie. She envelopes you in a hug that chases the lingering chill from outside away. You sigh sinking further into her.
After a few moments, you lean back to look at her, “What are you up to? Did you find another dinosaur book?” you ask in question regarding her earlier text.
“No, I mean well yes but that’s not why I texted you earlier. Do you know what today is?” She’s grinning in excitement. You rack your brain trying to remember what today could be. It’s not your anniversary, you would have remembered that. Nobody’s birthday. You shook your head, looking up at her when you couldn’t come up with an answer.
She smiled even bigger, “It’s April 20th,”
The woman was practically shaking with excitement after she stated the date. It took you a few moments of confusion to understand what she was saying.
“Oh my god, it is. Do you have any weed?” You were getting excited now. It’d been a while since you smoked. Life had gotten hectic and by the time you and Ellie had time to hang out late at night, you both just wanted to watch a movie and fall asleep.
Before you started dating Ellie you didn’t like to smoke, it wasn’t your thing. Constant overthinking and chest-crushing anxiety were the standard experiences for you when high. But after the first time smoking with her, you realized it could be a lot of fun. At least she made it a LOT of fun.
She nodded stepping aside for you to finally see what she had been toying with when you walked in. On the workbench desk was a Bob Marley-covered grinder, rolling papers, and three joints. Little green bits of weed scattered across the wood of the table.
“Wanna get high off our asses and watch The Duff, baby?” Ellie smiled down at you waiting for your response.
“Hell yeah,” You began to unzip your coat, now feeling warm in the small room. Ellie grabbed a joint and your hand, pulling you to her bed in the corner of the room.
She snatched a gray lighter with a cowboy boot engraved on it off the nightstand and crawled onto the mattress wearing only her boyshorts and a tank top.
Before you joined her you whipped your long-sleeved shirt off and walked to Ellie’s closet replacing your shirt with one of her t-shirts. You kicked off your jeans and turned back to her. She was smiling, letting her eyes trail the length of your body.
“What?” You giggled feeling nervous under her stare.
“Nothing, I just like you in my clothes,”
Her voice sends a chill down your spine. You crawl in bed beside her, both of you leaning back against the headboard and she scrolls on the T.V. locating y’alls favorite movie to watch while high, The Duff.
The movie starts and you both settle back into the pillows, Ellie’s arm around your shoulders, your leg thrown over her hip.
Ellie flicks the lighter open, places the joint between her lips, and sucks as the tip lights. The embers on the tip of the joint glow orange in the darkening room, the only other light source being the small television in the corner of the room.
Grey smoke billows out of her mouth as she smiles at the feel of the first hit. The earthy scent of weed instantly fills the room. You take the joint as she offers it to you, taking a deep hit. Smoke fills your lungs, settling warm in your chest before you blow it out.
You guys continue the rotation until most of the joint has burned up and you are significantly high. You feel like you’re in zero gravity and yet at the same time feel like you have an elephant sitting on your chest. You are hyperaware of every place where your skin touches your girlfriends.
The skin of your thigh feels like it’s on fire as it rests upon hers and her finger leaves a trail of lightning as it passes over your shoulder in methodical motions.
You grab her hand bringing it in front of her face. You take in the vanes running over the top of her hand, the lines weaving along her palm, and her short nails. You have lost all interest in the movie, far more concentrated on your girlfriend’s lovely hands.
Next, you move on to inspecting her tattoo. You trace the leaves across her forearm with your finger, reveling in the fact that the hairs on her arms rise with goosebumps in the wake of your touch. You move on to tracing the moth, circling all of the patterns on its wings.
“Baby?” Ellie sighs, the high hitting her just as hard if her voice says anything.
“Mhm?” You don’t look up, continuing your path up her arm.
“I need you to stop that,” Ellie choked out.
“Why?” This gets you to look up at her.
Her pupils are blown wide, turning her eyes black in the low lighting, “Because your touch is leaving every one of my nerve endings on fire and we haven’t finished the movie yet.”
You smirked, glad she was feeling just as affected as you. You let her arm go and leaned up kissing her deeply, “That’s good because my whole body is on fire,” You whisper seductively when the kiss breaks.
Ellie groans, leaning her forehead on yours before muttering, “Fuck the movie,”
You giggle nodding, “Fuck the movie,”
Suddenly you’re flipped onto your back and Ellie’s lips are on your neck. She leaves a trail of kisses from the underside of your jaw to your collarbones. Lifting your shirt she reveals your breasts. You gasp as the cool air hits your nipples causing them to peak.
Ellie lets out a grumble at the sight. Before long she’s continuing her trek down to the place you want her most. She starts at the place between your breasts, continuing down the center of your stomach before landing just above the hem of your panties.
She smiles up at you before lightly grazing her nail over your clothed clit. You whimper at the sudden contact. Squirming you wait for more. All you want is more in this moment.
“What do you want baby?” Ellie asks in a teasing tone.
“More… please,” You whine. Ellie’s chest rumbles with a chuckle as she places a kiss against the inside of your thigh.
“Tell me exactly what you want,” Ellie’s teeth graze the hem of your panties as she waits for your response.
You gasp at the sight of her between your legs, the sight turning you on more than expected. She always did this, asking you to tell her exactly what you wanted. The woman was a slut for your words.
“I want your fingers in me now Ellie,” You whined, losing patience.
She laughed, “Yes ma’am,” Suddenly she was ripping your panties down your legs and throwing your legs over her shoulders. She looked up at you as she oh so slowly dropped the lightest kiss possible to the top of your clit.
You threw your head back at the contact, balling the sheets in a punishing fist.
“You gonna come all over my fingers baby,” Ellie asked as she pushed the first finger inside.
“God yes Ellie…please!” You lifted your hips, following the movement of her fingers.
Ellie groaned leaning down to trail the tip of her tongue over your clit. You could feel the pressure building in the pit of your stomach. You needed to come so bad but you never wanted this to end.
Ellie must have felt that you were getting close because she pulled back slightly, stopping all her movements. You gave a whiny cry when she stopped. This made her laugh and you wanted to scream. You needed to come so bad.
“Do you want to come, baby?” You wanted to wipe that smile off your girlfriend’s face but that would not get you the orgasm you were so desperately craving.
“Yes.” You groaned back.
“What do you say?”
Ugh, this woman was pushing your buttons in the way only she could, “Please Ellie! Please make me come.” You bucked your hips prompting her to continue.
“That’s what I wanted to hear,” Ellie dove back in, devouring you. She lapped at your clit, back and forth up and down. You felt drouzy with lust.
She added one finger, pulling it out and adding another when reentering. You moaned riding her fingers as best you could in this position.
“You’re doing so good for me, baby. Are you gonna come?”
“Yes, yes keep going, Ellie!” You practically screamed, chasing the orgasm you could feel teetering on the edge, ready to burst.
“Come, come for me baby, please.” Ellie pleaded.
It was her please that sent you over the edge. The whole time she acted as if she was in control of the situation but she wanted to make you come just as badly as you wanted to come. Her pleading for it was too much.
You twitched and sighed, coming down from the high as Ellie crawled up the length of your body, leaving kisses in her wake. She placed a kiss on your forehead before pulling you into her side, cuddling you.
After a few minutes of recovering, you leaned up and placed a lingering kiss on her lips. At first, it was soft and sensual but after just a few moments the kiss turned more heated. You threw your leg over hers, framing her hips on your knees.
Before the make-out could turn into anything more a knock sounded at the door startling you both. You froze and Ellie groaned.
“Yeah?” she called out.
“I’ve got dinner inside if you girls are hungry,” It was Joel’s voice that called back, “Oh and Tommy and Maria are coming over.” He continued.
You bit your lip to keep from laughing at the grimace on Ellie’s face. She rubbed her face with her palm before shouting back, “Okay we’ll be in in a bit,”
The sound of Joel’s footsteps retreated down the path back to the house. You giggled as Ellie rolled her eyes. You climbed off her and the bed searching for your jeans. After slipping them on you walked back to the mattress where Ellie hadn’t moved from, just watching you.
“Come on hot shot, I’m hungry.” You offered your hand dragging her out of bed. She grumbled something about Joel being a cock-block and she got dressed.
You both slipped your shoes on and made your way to the door. She placed her hand on the nob going to open the door but you stopped her.
Leaning up to her ear you whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll make you come real hard when we get back, baby.” You pecked her cheek and bolted outside giggling before she could drag you back to bed.
How did we like it? This is my first time posting my smut writings so if it was bad sorry I tried (I'm much better at fluff). Anyway, thanks for reading! 🤍
#ellie williams#tlou#tlou2#fanfiction#ellie williams fluff#ellie x reader#sapphic#wlw#smut#420#for 4/20 even though it's technically 4/21 sorry
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My Savior Captain Buggy!!!
Today has been downright awful for me. I'm thoroughly tired of merely experiencing a thankless and lonesome life. A miserable life that I am currently stuck with until something comes through. Who knows when that will even be?!
Enough about the dreadful state of my dismal life let's have a positive collection update!
The Cabaji and Mohji/Richie can badges were purchased with my Big Top ita bag in mind. Naturally wanted to include some of the Buggy Pirates too after all!
The top row of cards was pulled from thirteen random packs. I purchased them knowing all too well that they had been cherry picked through. However, at less then $1.00 each, one couldn't resist! On top of that, there were Buggy cards to be had!
Absolutely, I passionately love my full art TCG card way too much! Instantly made my whole year pulling it after all! The one keychain off to the right there, is likely a bootleg. A choice item for an ita bag in my book.
The golden glittery card to the lower left is the best thing ever! It's filled with liquid, and I can just sit here all day shaking it. The Chop-Chop Fruit charms, are now on the zipper pulls of my Big Top ita bag and looking flashy!
Two specific items in this pic are from various sources. The box of playing cards, in the upper right corner came from eBay and the wanted poster keychain was an Aliexpress find.
The Stampede movie items were part of an admission bonus. It was purchased mostly for the little acrylic Buggy charm there. Didn't realize what the book contained until it was in my greedy paws.
OMG, Buggy concept art!!! Truly extremely desirable indeed! *drools*
Yeah, the watch isn't Buggy themed but still rather impressive for words!
You can either select an individual color for the LED light or set it on rotation mode. This watch was apart of the 20th Anniversary and only 300 were made, mine is #218/300.
This wanted poster, of the most attractive flashy man ever, was part of a lottery. Selected winners obtained all 4 wanted posters of the Emperors. Amazingly, I stumbled upon a seller with just the Buggy one up for grabs and at a good price!
Just when one thought the new art card was sexy, this bag is even more so! The plan is to hopefully acquire a frame for and hanging it on the wall, where I can gaze upon this gorgeous art at all times.
Buyee intentionally keeps waving a 15% off figures purchased on Mercari coupon in my silly face. *lol*
This is an official figure I've starred at online often and maybe had some dirty thoughts about. Um wait, what? Needless to say, it is currently mine and well worth the wait!
The last newly acquired item was this promotional poster from the "One Piece Emotion Exhibition." For a little while, it will still remain rolled up safely in the box. My wall space is rather lacking and framing it is undoubtedly preferred.
Speaking of space lacking, the ever growing Buggy corner may need its own wall soon. The cabinet is rather packed too! *lol*
#collectibles#collection#my pocketbook weeps#buggy the clown#captain buggy#one piece#one piece buggy#that which i have obtained#card collecting
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“Shell City, Here We Come!”
Happy 20th Anniversary to SpongeBob’s debut on the big screen; The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie! This is my favorite movie & I can’t believe this movie turns 20 today. It’s hilarious, the animation was great, & overall a great movie to watch if you’re a fan of this series. I honestly wish Nickelodeon would let this be the finale for the show cause it feels like Hillenburg wanted the series to end like that but of course, Nick had to up the shark with SpongeBob & it wasn’t the same without Hillenburg being a part of it. I’m happy Hillenburg shared his idea for the finale of this amazing series & made it into a fantastic movie.
#spongebob fanart#the spongebob squarepants movie#spongebob squarepants#patrick star#nickelodeon#nickelodeon movies#20 year anniversary#20th anniversary#fanart#drawing#cartoon art#digital art#digital illustration#artwork#digital drawing#support artists#procreate drawing#artists on tumblr#procreate illustration#20th birthday#anniversary
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last night i was sat still and forced to watch fences after all this time.
always had assumed the movie to be about black baseball and the normal strifes we see on screen as it relates to black life in 20th century america.
ive seen pieces and of course saw clips of the play starring Mr. James Earl & others but last night i was made to watch it in full.
who made me ? my father. as he always did.
growing up, my father would sit me down to watch film alone. by myself. to see things how i see them; influenced by the moral lessons and societal mirror some film screenplays serve as.
Today is the 16 year anniversary of my father’s passing; serving as a benchmark in my journey.
going forth; the time ive had with my father will be eclipsed by the time ive spent with this hole within me. questions brewing with no road signs in a language i can understand.
and i was sat still to watch fences in full last night. to watch how decades of men made their mistakes and uprooted kind souls from their personal journeys to watch one man in his glory and beyond that into an almost detrimentally destitute cycle of responsibility in which he creates an earthly heaven beyond the boundaries set by his vows and promises.
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Happy Birthday John Alexander Cruickshank, VC, born on May 20th 1920 in Aberdeen.
Yep, born in 1920, I know I sometimes get the age wrong, but John Cruikshank today celebrates his 104th birthday, making him the oldest person to feature in my anniversary posts.
The former Aberdeen Grammar school pupil, was involved in one of the most audacious acts of the conflict when he flew his Catalina aircraft through a torrential hail of flak. And, although his first pass was unsuccessful, he brought it around for a second sortie, this time straddling a U-boat and sinking the vessel.
However, the German anti-aircraft fire proved fatally accurate in response, killing the navigator and injuring four others, including both Flight Lieutenant Cruickshank and second pilot, Flight Sergeant Jack Garnett.
The Granite City pilot, who was just 24, suffered scores of different injuries while he and his comrades were engaged in sinking the German submarine, and, although their had succeeded in their first objective, there was another huge task in trying to return home safely to Sulom Voe, Shetland.
Cruikshank was educated at The Royal High School (RHS) of Edinburgh, Aberdeen Grammar School and Stewart’s Melville College in Edinburgh, his working life began when he was apprenticed to The Commercial Bank of Scotland on George Street Edinburgh, many of you will know the building nowadays as The Dome.
Looking back over 75 years ago it is amazing that Jock Cruikshank not only survived the mission, but is still alive today, he was hit in 72 places, and suffered serious lung injuries and 10 penetrating wounds to his lower limbs. Yet, despite this panoply of pain, he refused medical attention until he was sure that the appropriate radio signals had been sent and the aircraft was on course for its home base. Even at that stage, he refused morphine, aware that it would cloud his judgement and potentially jeopardise the rest of the men on board.
Flying through the night, it took the damaged craft five-and-a-half hours to get back to Sullom Voe, with Flt Sgt Garnett at the controls and his colleague lapsing in and out of consciousness in the back. Eventually, though, as another major hurdle came into the equation, he returned to the cockpit and took command of the aircraft.
There was nothing straightforward about ensuring the Catalina’s passage homewards; it had been impacted badly along with the crew members.
But, after deciding that the light and the sea conditions for a water landing were too risky for his inexperienced colleague, Flt Lt Cruickshank kept the craft in the air for as long he could, circling for an extra hour, as the prelude to bringing it down successfully on the water and ferrying the plane to an area where it could be safely beached.
It was an astonishing act of bravery, and yet Mr Cruickshank has always shunned the limelight or refused to take any credit for his actions. As one of his RAF colleagues later recalled, he felt he was one of the lucky ones to survive the conflict, unlike so many of his RAF friends who perished.
The brave pilot was later awarded the Victoria Cross at the Palace of Holyrood House by King George VI.
You can view a re-enactment in this docu-drama on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mraRXjjIAUc
JOCK CRUIKSHANK IS THE LAST SURVIVING WORLD WAR TWO VICTORIA CROSS HERO
The colour pics are of the man on his 100th and hundred and third birthdays respectively
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0624-010
Hi, sorry i'm late again, I had a few other things to do, and I ended up forgetting about this month's rotation lol (also i wanna point out that this is the DIXième rotation \m/)
This month, I had made a poll to let vk tumblr chose for me which rotation from my 20th anniversary would be up next. Here are the results :
First of, I wanna say thank you for voting ! I was absolutely expecting to not get even 10 votes on this lmao. Thank you for participating in my little experiment eheheh.
As usual : Song titles link to individual mp3 file download
All 5 songs can also be downloaded together in a zip file from the link at the bottom
So here what I had in reserve for Deathgaze, Dir en grey, Gazette, Mucc, and Soroban :D
DEATHGAZE - Dies Irae
I did not realized this, at the time, but I literally got introduced to deathgaze with their very first release... which was with their original line-up, which is also how I got to discover Hazuki and how I also got introduced to lynch. with their first release too :D
Dies Irae was released on 294036224052, in 2004 (the whole thing is worth listening ♥)
youtube
Dir en grey - Obscure
A fucking classic. I said in the previous entry that I originally didn't like dir, so this one came after I gave them another try. I spent my last year of high school listening to this song in a loop in between moi dix mois songs lol
Obscure was on Vulgar, released in 2003 (which also is still in my top dir album ! I also still think the original version is superior to the 2011 version, but that's me :3 )
youtube
(sorry that's the only one that doesn't require signing in apparently)
GAZETTE - The $ocial riot machine$
Now, I gotta be honest, i happened to lose interest in gazette very fast, as they are one of these bands that the visual is more interesting than the music to me. Today, I think they are a good base to get into visual kei, they were back in 2004 too, even if they were babies :D But between 2004 and 06, I was also looking for heavier faster songs, and this song here scratched that itch (ngl it surfed on the wave pop is dead created lmao)
The social riot machines was found on the album Disorder, released in 2004
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MUCC - 我、在ルベキ場所 (ware, arubeki basho)
HAAAA this song is still so very effective on me. Mucc went all over the place, and I like some of their songs from all their eras, but I think their early 2000's is my favourite. Actually I think ware arubeki basho might be my favourite mucc song. Anyway you should listen to mucc ! Mucc is also the opposite of band like the gazette, to me, cause i spent a loooooooong time listening to them without even knowing what they looked like except for Yukke lol (and even then, if he hadn't his blond bowl cut............)
And I just learned that ware, arubeki basho was a single released in 2003, before being on 是空 (zekuu), later that year.
youtube
(wow i had not watched that in.................. 20 years lmao)
そろばん (soroban) - -RAM-
Soroban is a band only me knows...... ok no lol. But i knew them before Yumehito went to Ayabie (two thumbs down tbh) I also spent the longest time with only that song from them because, in 2004, I didn't realize how fucking indie visual kei was and I wanted more soroban, but all I got is that soroban is the japanese word for an abacus... i ended up finding their (really short) discography years later and was almost disappointed that -ram- is their only song sounding like that (the rest is good too, actually, just less heavy and more kawaii i guess)
-ram- was the A-side of the -RAM- / オレンジ手紙 初回限定盤 (-RAM- / orange tegami) single, released in 2004 (orange tegami is also a very good song !!)
and I can't find -ram- on youtube (there's the 2006 re-recording i didn't know existed though) so here :
zip file with all 5 songs HERE ♥
#deathgaze#hazuki lynch.#dir en grey#gazette#the gazette#ガゼット#mucc#ムック#soroban#そろばん#ryuuji soroban#ryuuji zoro#tatsuhi soroban#tatsuhi zoro#yumehito soroban#yumehito ayabie#yuuya soroban#yuuya zoro#visual kei#vkei#vk#nagoya kei#oshare kei#jrock#j-rock#Youtube
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With The Lion Guard's 10th anniversary happening in November of next year, I think the best way they can celebrate it, and also the easiest way they can celebrate it (as in, not a fourth season, sequel series, books, or new movies), would be reruns.
When The Lion Guard was coming to a conclusion, it's viewing figures on television took a hard dip, partly due to Disney's poor distribution of the episodes. Because of this, reruns (at least here in America) did not last that long. Only from November 3rd to December 30th, 2019, and then the show was gone for good. They couldn't keep the completed show on the air during the winter holidays when kids had 2 weeks off from school and were at home likely doing nothing but watching TV. Which is - not a good sign.
Up until recently, I would've assumed that Disney would've done nothing for the show given these unflattering results. But seeing the Disney Jr. musical short, as well as people online posting merch of the show in spite of half a decade passing since the show ended, gets me thinking of some significant way Disney would acknowledge the series.
Anyways, back to the topic of reruns. The one thing that would redeem this show's unsatisfying send-off would be reruns, perhaps in the form of a marathon, to celebrate the decade anniversary of the show. Something similar happened this year when The Lion King was re-released in theaters for it's 30th anniversary (most likely to compensate for Mufasa: The Lion King, getting delayed 6 months due to the strikes).
Disney, even Disney Jr has done reruns of cancelled/completed shows, either regularly or as special occassions. Sofia the First and Tangled got reruns on World Princess Week: Jessie still gets reruns on Disney Channel, ironically increasing in quantity ever since it's spin-off Bunk'd ended. Phineas and Ferb got endless reruns on Disney Channel and Disney XD, even before the announcement of the revival. And not to mention many holiday specials/movies/crossovers such as Good Luck Charlie. And just recently, Wizards of Waverly Place got a marathon of reruns in light of next month's reboot series, Beyond.
So it would be very thematically appropriate for The Lion Guard to get this type of treatment. Reruns, from the pilot episode, all the way to the finale, marathoning all day on Disney Junior. It would give the show the mainstream fanfare and recognition, from its target demo audience, that it was robbed of when it died. Not only would it introduce kids of today's generation to The Lion King franchise, but it would potentially bring back viewers who were in the show's target demographic when it aired - who would now be adults themselves.
And it would come full circle too since The Lion Guard was pitched, created, and announced as a tribute to The Lion King's 20th anniversary itself, so to have a decade-related anniversary like this would be sweet in theory.
Do I think Disney will actually do this? No. This is all hypothetical. Logically speaking the furthest thing they'll do is probably upload some Lion Guard full episodes onto the YouTube channel, post a few Tik-Toks, make a few "happy anniversary" tweets and leave it at that. But it's a do-able/possible-ish idea for a way they can give tribute to the show's decennial. I will not hold my breath on that idea, or be surprised if they do viritually little to nothing for the anniversary (I'd actually be surprised if they did anything more than the abovementioned logical factors such as happy anniversary posts and tweets).
#the lion guard#the lion king#kion#fuli#bunga#beshte#ono#tlk#tlg#disney junior#disney jr.#I think this is the best way Disney can give mainstream limelight back to The Lion Guard#Bc like a fourth season would be virtually impossible with several people on the crew leaving Disney whilst the rest moved on#a sequel series would be impossble for the same reason especially with Mufasa: The Lion King taking up the limelight as TLK's showstopper#A new comic series or books maybe but given how awful the Disney Villains: Scar comic was I wouldn't hold my breath#plus the book-based properties of TLG were essentially canned eyars ago#And again I don't think any big TLG related content would happen to avoid competition with Mufasa: The Lion King -#The best we'd see is just some more fluff like with the music video or new merch#But I think a rerun marathon as a decennial tribute for old and new fans of the show would be the most likely option and the best objectivl
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you watched as yeosang kneeled down on the grave, pointing a gun at his head. "detective," he spoke, "what is it?" "what... date is it today?" you checked your i-watch before replying, "it's the 20th." he smiles lightly, "it's her death anniversary today."
your grip on the gun falters for a second, "is she the reason you became like this? your sister, right?" his head lowers, "yeah," he turns his head to smile at you apologetically, "but i seem to have no luck finding him. whoever i kill, they just- they're damn useless."
as he stands, you can't help but feel sad for the man, even when he was covered in somebody else's blood. he became a murderer just so he could find his sister's killer, to which he still had no luck in.
you began hearing siren in the distance. bitting your lip, you curse yourself for starting to sympathise for the man, the same man who you've been chasing since the start of the year.
"alright detective," yeosang put his wrists together in front of you, "take me away." your eyes widen in disbelief, "...what?" he smiles gently, "it's what i deserve." you couldn't even speak.
"i must say though, encountering you and fighting you all the time has made my heart full. i wanted to-" you pull him in for a kiss, shocking the man. he rests his hands on your hip, you held his face gently as if he were fragile glass, and would break at any moment.
you pulled away quickly when the siren got closer. faces still close, you whispered softly, "go." his brows furrowed, "what? what are you-" "get out of here," you gently push him away, "i'll catch him for you, so go."
your eyes began to fill with tears as he hesitated, "then come with me! i can-" "no," you stroke his cheek as the tears slid down your own, "i can't, you know i can't." yeosang bit his tongue as he removed his hands from you,
you push him away, "go, now!" more tears slid down your cheeks as you held your gun at him again, forcing him to go. he smiles as a stray tear leaves his eye, "i love you." you bit your lip and let out a sob, "...go, get away from here!"
reluctantly, yeosang turns around and sprints into the forest, disappearing into the night. you had to physically stop yourself from chasing after him, holding him and telling him to take you too.
i promise i'll meet you in our next life.
#brrrkdslek 📁: drabbles#forbidden love#i shat real tears#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#hongjoong x reader#mingi x reader#san x reader#wooyoung x reader#yunho x reader#jongho x reader#seonghwa x reader#yeosang x reader#kang yeosang#yeosang x y/n#yeosang x you#ateez yeosang#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#atz yeosang#ateez angst#ateez
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As most fans remember, on October 3, 2004, the pilot episode of a series that entered the hall of fame aired. Today, we celebrate its 20th anniversary. Wow!
The first time I saw the image of Bree, Lynette, Susan, and Gabrielle was in a TV series magazine showcasing "what would soon arrive in Italy." I was 15 years old, in the midst of adolescence, but there was something in that image—the colours and faces—that made me think, "This looks interesting." I have to be honest; the pilot aired on free TV in Italy on November 14, 2005, so I was late to the party, but let's overlook that.
A year passed, and as a 16-year-old, I could finally watch the first episode. To say it was love at first sight might be an understatement. Lynette threatening her kids by claiming she has Santa Claus's number, Susan's mac and cheese mishap, Gabrielle mowing the lawn in high heels, and Bree's legendary muffins—which I learned to make.
I was in my third year of high school, and while my classmates watched more teen-oriented series like The O.C., I was eager to find out how the mystery of Mary Alice's suicide would unfold. Those weren't good years for me for various reasons, including psychological bullying, but every week, there was an hour of comfort in my life thanks to Desperate Housewives.
These characters, as unique as they were desperate, accompanied me all the way to my high school graduation exams; in their company, I defended my bachelor's thesis. I still remember watching episode 100 during a break between classes: I was in the study hall, and it might have been the first time I cried over a TV show episode. A classmate saw me sobbing and worriedly asked what was wrong; explaining that I was crying over an episode was quite something.
Desperate Housewives accompanied me well beyond the series finale on May 13, 2012; that year, I was finishing my first year of my master's degree. It was the first series I started watching in English; in Italy, they were delaying the dubbing a lot, and I had to make do with watching it online with subtitles. So yes, the adventures on Wisteria Lane are the primary reason I now speak better English.
Desperate Housewives means the world to me; I literally grew up with it. Each character has taught me something—including Edie!—especially the importance of friendship (and talking to your friends—secrets are a big problem!), embracing change and evolution, and understanding how some changes are for the better. To seize opportunities even if they scare us: "We all have moments of desperation, but if we can face them head-on, that's when we find out how strong we really are."
According to the internet, Susan was 35 years old in the pilot. It's funny that I am that exact age as we celebrate the 20th anniversary.
Time flies.
Twenty years later, we still use Desperate Housewives memes to express our thoughts. I still believe that Katherine's declaration to Robin is one of the most beautiful on TV, but I might be biased. I haven't yet gotten over the fact that the girls didn't get to play poker together again, but as Mary Alice said, "It was not meant to be." In my mind, they still talk to each other on the phone, through messages, and via video calls.
A heartfelt thank you to the amazing cast and crew for bringing these characters to life and creating a timeless masterpiece that continues to touch lives even after two decades. To the community of fans who, like me, have been shaped by this show, here's to the memories made and the lessons learned.
The women of Wisteria Lane will forever hold a special place in my heart.
Happy 20th anniversary, Desperate Housewives!
And remember, "Even the most desperate life is, oh, so wonderful."
#desperate housewives#bree van de kamp#lynette scavo#gabrielle solis#susan mayer#edie britt#katherine mayfair#dana delany#marcia cross#felicity huffman#eva longoria#teri hatcher#nicolette sheridan#brenda strong#mary alice young
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I have literally uploaded to almost every social media today, which has taken almost the entire day. My dog has been staring at me in disappointment for hanging out in this room for hours.
Happy 30th Anniversary to The Lion King. Which is crazy because I saw the original in theaters when I was 6 years old way back in 1994. I don't even know where the time went. I even took my little sister to the 20th anniversary rerelease in theaters.
I don't think it could be anymore obvious this might be my favorite movie of all time. The weird reactions I get to my merchandise collection or the tattoo I put on my body and probably shouldn't have. I don't think the affect this movie has had on my life could be anymore evident and what it means to me cant be described. I remember watching the movie as a kid and deciding I wanted to be an animator. That didn't happen (though I did take..some animation courses in college, believe it or not). But it did introduce me to a lovely community online which changed the trajectory of my art for the rest of my life. I'm not sure what my parents think of my weird quirk but I don't think my mother can judge my obsession considering her own! but I'm sure it'd be easier to brag on a child if they obsessed over something slightly less childish? Oddly enough my art is more Disney now than it was when I was in the community as a kid..so..I dont know what that means.
But the music still makes me cry, I still look at clouds and think to myself "oh those are lion king clouds" when its particularly cloudy with the sun rays shining through. I can't get over how pretty the character designs are. I still enjoy collecting the merch. I can still smell the toy aisle when I was a kid and that sensation of what it was like to walk through the store with "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" playing overhead on the radio back when the movie was brand new.
oddly enough though, it is the one disney movie that I will not rewatch because I have an internalized fear that I may hate it. My only regret is, is the timing for this anniversary couldn't be worse. I feel guilty spending money when I don't have a paycheck coming in and we are getting ready to move and I should stop collecting so much stuff. But look at all the new merch coming out! I do get messages from people all the time "did you see this new item? this new item?" and I have to keep talking myself out of buying them.
Also, sadly the movie is not being rereleased in my area 8(
#illustration#sketchbook#watercolors#sketch#drawing#realmedia#traditionalart#mixedmedia#artblog#animalart#thelionking#tlkfaa#thelionkingfanart#disneyfanart#thelionking30thanniversary#tlk30thanniversary#disneysthelionking
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Voice in Blue Guest Messages
translation on (09/22/2023)
From the Voice in Blue concert booklet
Messages from Asumi Rio's four top musumeyaku, and her classmate!
Content below the cut
Ranno Hana
Q1. What comes to mind when you think of Asumi Rio?
In the past, meat! The day before a shinjin kouen or shonichi she would take me out to eat some meat and then we’d quickly disperse! Ah... I wish I could say something cuter. Asumi, how are you doing now?
Q2. If you could appear together in a show together again, what kind of relationship would you like to play?
I love her Matsugae Kiyoaki in Spring Snow, so an extremely sadistic and arrogant person...... No, wait, I’d like to bicker on stage with an extremely arrogant Asumi (laughs)!
Q3. A message for Asumi Rio’s 20th Anniversary
Asumi, congratulations on your 20th anniversary. From her hatsubutai in Senor Don Juan, even when I was a fan, I always watched Asumi shining on stage...... Then I too became a part of Moon Troupe, and we were paired together for the first time in Fancy Dance’s chuuzume, then from there it was every performance. Then there was the Yume no Ukihashi shinjin kouen, then my transfer, and then finally our fateful reunion in Flower Troupe. She also had that truly unexpected Elisabeth ohirome. I was happy from the bottom of my heart to be able to sing, dance, and act with her again.
Asumi Rio is a glimmer of hopeful light!! Throughout these 20 years, I’ve always felt this way. Today I’d like to celebrate with all of my love with the other former wives and you guys!
Kano Maria
Q1. What comes to mind when you think of Asumi Rio?
Courage.
I was able to study under and be guided by such an incredibly courageous person known as Asumi Rio. Even after accomplishing a beautiful change from otokoyaku to actress, the way I see courage in her is everlasting. She would give me advice on how to be better on stage while wiping away my tears, and when I almost fell down the stairs in stage rehearsals she firmly grabbed me and saved me...... There’s too many times like that to list where her courage was on display!
Q2. If you could appear together in a show together again, what kind of relationship would you like to play?
Something unlike in our Takarazuka era with a simple set, like a play dialogue heavy show, and our roles being close to one another (what a luxury that would be). Something like a relationship between two people who happened to be sitting next to each other on the shinkansen, or two regular customers to a cozy cafe...... My dreams are endless.
Q3. A message for Asumi Rio’s 20th Anniversary
Congratulations on your 20th anniversary. I am truly honored to be able to be a part of your celebratory concert. Asumi will always be my driving force. For that ever-shining person, from the bottom of my heart here is my utmost respect and thanks. Here’s to a wonderful concert!
Senna Ayase
Q1. What comes to mind when you think of Asumi Rio?
Hydrangeas!
I heard that she liked them, and whenever hydrangeas come in season and begin to bloom I always think of Asumi. Nowadays, whenever I see a pretty one blooming on the roadside I always get happy and take a picture...... so now my phone’s camera roll is full of pictures (laughs). At some point they became one of my favorite flowers!
Q2. If you could appear together in a show together again, what kind of relationship would you like to play?
Childhood friends! I think it would be really fun to play an affectionate drinking scene talking to each other. I always thought that scenes where Asumi was drunk were so excellent and impressive, so the fans must also love it, right?!
Q3. A message for Asumi Rio’s 20th Anniversary
Congratulations on your 20th anniversary! I have been so moved and inspired by the way you always think so thoroughly about your roles and pour all the love that you have into playing each and every one. To be able to celebrate such a momentous anniversary with you makes me truly happy. I’ll sing with every bit of heart and care.
Yuki Hana
Q1. What comes to mind when you think of Asumi Rio?
She never compromises anything no matter what.
If she has the slightest bit of time, she’s training, practicing her singing, it’s an image that’s seared into my brain... her after rehearsals alone doing those voluntary trainings. Of course her costumes and accessories as well, and her specific angles, etc; she’s particular about everything down to the millimeter. Witnessing that part of Asumi up close, spending those years with her, it gave me truly invaluable experiences in my life.
Q2. If you could appear together in a show together again, what kind of relationship would you like to play?
I really love Asumi singing “Ai wo tomenai de” in her concert Love Arena (I love any Asumi though) just before she retired, and I think the lyrics, “Because I will protect you no matter what,” were a nosebleed moment for everyone else too. Just like these lyrics, my delusion is wanting to see a delinquent Asumi, and get taken out on a date by said delinquent Asumi...
Q3. A message for Asumi Rio’s 20th Anniversary
Asumi, congratulations on your 20th anniversary. I am truly happy to be able to celebrate with you like this. I am the utmost grateful for the miracle of having Asumi come to live as Asumi Rio, and being able to meet and hold such a relationship like this. I will continue to pray for Asumi’s continued health and happiness from here on.
Nagina Ruumi
Q1. What comes to mind when you think of Asumi Rio?
A translucent being. Going back to around 23 years ago, on the day of Takarazuka’s entrance exam day, I passed by Sayumi* in the hallway and I had to look again because she was shining with cuteness and beauty. ‘These are the kind of girls that get accepted,’ I thought. Our examination numbers were close, and we also sat opposite of each other once, such translucent skin and beauty, I just sat there and gazed at her without thinking. Even now this hasn’t changed a bit, when we had the chance to do a job together for the first time in forever the other day, I excitedly threw out a barrage of questions like, “Why are you so cute!” “Why do you just glow like that!” (laughs).
Q2. If you could appear together in a show together again, what kind of relationship would you like to play?
When we performed together we were parent and child, so something outside of that, as long as the roles are sufficiently intertwined with each other!
Q3. A message for Asumi Rio’s 20th Anniversary
Congrats on your 20th anniversary concert. When you think about it, we have a 20-some year relationship. Not just your translucent beauty, but also that translucent* heart you have always had continues to heal me. An actress that with such translucence added on top of the talent of working hard, has the charm of being able to be painted in any role. I have nothing but respect for her. I’m truly happy to have been classmates with Sayumi, and now once again be able to star with her like this. She has an irreplaceable existence. Here’s to eternity, from now until we become (grandpas?) grandmas.
I’m truly looking forward to Sayumi’s continued growth in her life as an actress. Notes:
*Mirio's real name is Sayumi, so this is what her classmates call her.
*What Kacha means by 'translucent heart' likely some sens of 'pure', but she uses the same word she used to describe her beauty so I kept it for effect.
Wow long time no post... It's not that I haven't been trying to translate I've just never finished anything lol. But yes its been a crazy year both in terms of Mirio and just normal life!! I'm sure most of you know my Mirio happenings (if you don't just know I'm living my best life), and who would have guessed that even though theater is so much fun, going on top of school and work stills drains so much energy out of you. I'm going to do my best to translate more things out of this concert booklet because it honestly has so much content and the concert was just, long story short, amazing. Thanks for reading!!
#asumi rio#rio asumi#takarazuka#kano maria#ranno hana#senna ayase#yuki hana#hana yuki#nagina ruumi#takarazuka revue
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Paradise Kiss: A Lesson on Dreams and Being Happy (heavy spoilers) Part 1
Thanks to this totally random tweet about anime endings, I'm reminded of an old shoujo manga flame of mine from the early 2000s: Paradise Kiss, nicknamed ParaKiss by its mangaka and fans. In stereotypical Ai Yazawa fashion (baddum tss), this manga revolves around a hopelessly flawed yet peak relatable girl undergoing the trials and tribulations of self-discovery. It just so happens that the setting takes place in a generic, average-sized town in Japan, and it just so happens that this town is home to an eclectic ensemble cast of aspiring fashionistas and designers. And it also just so happens that this cast is at a crossroads: their 3rd year in high school. Yukari was initially on the conventional path of graduating with top marks and entering into a prestigious university. By the time we get to the 2nd chapter of the manga, we see Yukari cast all her mother's dreams aside to become a model in the cutthroat fashion industry.
We begin with our protagonist Yukari, who is enrolled in an elite private high school. She spends her days studying for college entrance exams, but early on, we discover that her hard work is very extrinsically motivated. Specifically, her mother has had an iron-clad grip on her life, and if not for a chance encounter on the street, Yukari would've continued on in this way. Living without living. Doing things that don't make her happy or give her any meaning -- a shell for others' aspirations and desires.
As I said, a chance encounter brings her to the hole-in-the-wall atelier, which was an antique bar rennovated into an... well, atelier for fashionistas attending the local art school. Yukari has been scouted by one of the students to model for their upcoming fashion show in the school's Culture Festival. Although she vehemently opposes the idea at first, Yukari decides to model for them, after witnessing firsthand the extent of their conviction and earnestness of their efforts.
I am deliberately downplaying George's role in here, because I do think future readers should get to know George (the manga's romantic lead and 90s toxic boy) at their own pace and through Yukari's perspective. Describing him would remove some of the magic that is necessary to experience through Yukari's besotted eyes, and Yazawa does a great job staging the cognitive dissonance Yukari herself feels when she's around George. What you should know right away is that George is the de facto leader of the Atelier group and designer behind the label Paradise Kiss. It is his word that becomes the final voice in asking Yukari to model, and it is his intoxicating presence that drives her to join them.
All this to say, that there's a reason -- I think -- that ParaKiss, out of many other Shoujo or even Shounen romances of the 2000s, is still the only one being reprinted. Its 20th-anniversary edition was reprinted back in 2019. In the wake of Nana's permanent hiatus (Yazawa's more popular manga), ParaKiss's fandom is alive and well. More and more people are discovering it, thanks to the reductively short anime adaptation making its way to streaming services. The promise of a (very satisfying) conclusion provides a healing balm of sorts for deluded Nana fans, and the story in its entirety holds its own as a romance masterpiece. The art style, the fashion, the romance, and the writing are all top scorers, but something about ParaKiss remains startlingly unique despite more than 20 years passing us by. Very few shoujo manga dare to try what Yazawa has done with this story, and very few shoujo manga do it so seamlessly -- devoid of the mandatory witticisms and marvelizations so common in today's media. ParaKiss is honest. Brutally honest. Yukari's inner monologues and expressions anticipate what the audience is thinking, not because she's so clever but because we can all relate to her. We've all made that mistake we can't help making. We've all watched ourselves undergo the consequences of our stupid actions, with nothing but self-pity to help us weather the storm. And all of us have known the beauty of believing the world is full of limitless possibilities, and we've tasted the bittersweet revelation that limitations do exist, and that's okay.
In other words, you don't have to be an intellect to enjoy and feel the takeaways of ParaKiss. The mangaka isn't trying to wink and nudge you into believing you're a smart consumer, because Yukari's story (or perhaps, Yukari herself) speaks of a hurt deeper than narrative conflict. Her hurt comes from one's first love, whatever or whoever it may be. First love isn't always romance (although it's a huge part of Yukari's story in ParaKiss). First love is the feeling that everything is new and ripe for discovery. First love is the disappointment that this period of discovery is finite, but you're so much stronger and better for having gone through it, brief as it may be. That is Paradise for Yukari: first love as the Edenic coming-of-age journey she needed to become who she is meant to be.
Many fans and critics agree that Paradise Kiss is a story about one's first love, and how you can have an impactful romance without it ending into a happily ever after. Of course I agree with this take. George is the 2nd protagonist, no question. His presence, actions, and personality catalyze the journey of self-discovery that Yukari finds in her last year of high school.
That said, I don't think enough attention has been paid to the other first love Yukari goes through: the world of fashion. Indeed, the story begins and ends with Yukari's time in the fashion world - her first thrills of modeling and her final, bittersweet acceptance of its inevitable end. This part of the story is so underhanded yet profoundly philosophical, I'm surprised discussions of fashion have become afterthoughts in any serious commentary of ParaKiss.
It's worth noting that Yukari doesn't exactly have insecurities directly related to her physical appearance. It's probably the most unrelatable part of her. When people comment on her beauty, she doesn't deny it, but she doesn't affirm it. We're meant to see and understand Yukari's natural beauty as a fact of her life, like the color of her hair or her height. She even brags about being able to stay skinny no matter how much she eats, which is the closest I came to hating a shoujo protagonist to be honest. Rather, her feelings of self-inadequacy stem from her immaturity, lack of style, and overall lack of self-confidence. In other words, when she starts the story believing her crush on classmate Tokumori is hopeless, she reasons, "Tokumori won't go for girls like me." Yukari doesn't mean she's too ugly for him. She means she's too inferior; too stupid; too 'uncool' for someone she perceives as the ideal. Even when she swiftly moves on to George and sets her sights on him, Yukari's feelings of worthlessness influence her behavior and decisions in the relationship, ultimately affecting how George himself treats her.
If Yukari's psyche sounds incoherent, it is and it isn't. It's realistically incoherent. Women are socially conditioned to find themselves inadequate in some way, and that self-perception is ultimately dictated by how men receive and project it back. This is the genius of ParaKiss. Whether or not you relate, this facet of Yukari's personality is an apt observation on what it means to be a woman as a high schooler, and I don't think it's an accident that prior to meeting the ParaKiss fashion team, Yukari's self-worth came entirely from her mother. For Yukari, growing up and leaving the nest means learning your place in the world in relation to men, and perhaps that's why Yukari's first love is riddled with so much pain, beauty, and joy.
In this cut-out of a panel, Yukari finally asks herself the question that must be in the fore of everyone's minds: 'What am I to George?' What is she to the man she considers the most important to her? What are we in relation to men? It takes Yukari 6 months to figure out that she doesn't need George to answer the first part of that question. By the time the series ends, Yukari is able to ask the same question without George.
These romantic pitfalls and triumphs become more meaningful when you realize this occurs in the context of breaking out into the fashion industry. Similar to Eve in Milton's Paradise Lost, Yukari looks at a mirror and discovers herself. She falls in love with that image. She falls in love with what fashion (not George!) reflects back at her -- a confident, cool woman who can don all sorts of masks and clothes.
When she asks a veteran model for advice on how to walk the runway, the model cryptically replies, "Just tell yourself you're the most beautiful woman in the world." This is a hurdle for the likes of Yukari, whose low self-esteem has prevented her from truly being alive prior to the events of the story. When she does walk down that runway, fully confident and basking in the crowd's reaction to her beauty, Yukari finally understands what it means. Telling yourself you're the most beautiful woman in the world is akin to believing yourself a woman; akin to believing yourself a woman worth existing and hogging the spotlight, without a man to justify it. Yukari might have been wearing clothes that George designed, but one can argue that the dress would not exist without Yukari. Indeed, he designed it with her face and body in mind. Yukari herself inspires the art George believes he's creating, and Yukari herself embodies and imparts the meaning of that art for the audience when she walks down the runway.
Thanks to the fashion show and Yukari's success, George himself realizes he cannot design for ready-to-wear clothing lines. Yukari too discovers that modeling isn't something she can just do. It's something she can work hard at, succeed, fail, and still enjoy. Unlike the grind of studying endlessly for exams she'll never pass, Yukari finds fulfillment in trying and failing in the fashion industry, and this self-realization lets her redefine what it means to succeed and fail, as we all come to understand by the end of the manga.
Given that Ai Yazawa studied fashion, it's no surprise that clothing, design, and the industry's connections are all important for Yukari's coming-of-age. Modeling and wearing George's clothes aren't all butterflies and roses. As we later see by the end of the manga, fashion leaves Yukari feeling dehumanized at times, which Yukari outright states in an inner monologue by calling herself a 'doll.' The liberating potential of modeling becomes a prison, in the right context. When another woman -- particularly one who rejects modeling or being a man's muse and instead aims to be a designer herself -- enters George's life, Yukari feels helpless. The autonomy she gained by modeling bites back in a mocking display of her own shallow disregard for other women's agency. Indeed, she acts vile toward Kaori (the aspiring designer in question), solely because she's threatened by how George sees her as an equal. The potential of self-fulfillment comes crashing down when the implication here is that, as his muse and model, Yukari will never be his equal.
I'm going to take a second and point out how brilliant this brief love triangle is on the part of Ai Yazawa. We are so used to shoujo protagonists who are sweet, understanding, and unfailingly good. Yukari is a surprise, to say the least. She's not afraid to be mean and flaunt her beauty to intimidate her competition, and at the same time, she's not afraid to own up to her faults and wallow in self-pity when humbled. Although George is the intermediary in the love triangle, you can also see how the fashion industry itself pits women against each other. Yukari can't measure up to Kaori, the talented and mature designer with true compassion for her peers and classmates. The culture festival led Yukari to believe that she, as their model, takes center stage, but with the show over, her status as model reduces to her one of the many cogs that prop up designers' creativity and will. If God is the designer in this paradise, then Eve is just a shell of and for his designs, just as Yukari recedes to a doll when George no longer respects her. Life, it seems, is difficult for a fashion model who seeks to affirm her existence and purpose in a world that devalues such traits in the first place.
Spoilers: George and Yukari's relationship lasts only 6 months, but Yukari's relationship with fashion lasts much longer: 10 years. In the manga's epilogue, Yukari is nearing retirement, and she mentions 'plateauing' in her career as a model. Although as a teenager she aspired to be a world class super model, her work only takes her to other cities in Japan, and she is content to end less with a bang and more like a firm sense of dignity and pride at her work.
It's also no shocker that, rather than confirm her retirement, the manga ends with an announcement of her engagement and imminent marriage to her Tokumori, her high school crush and classmate. The last panels mock the sense that first loves are more powerful than the present love they experience (which is so amazing and Part 2 will be about that), and while these lighthearted panels tell us it's a joke, you can easily see how those words apply to Yukari's love affair with fashion.
Her crush and first love spur her to 10 years of a successful career. Perhaps she never realized her ambitions of modeling in the West, but she nevertheless finds and declares herself successful. This is what first love is. You might start out believing it needs to be 'happily ever after,' but you can end it and grow and realize that 'remembered ever after' is just as good, for the role it had in your life and your growth.
Yukari isn't just telling us the story of her first love with George. She's also telling us the story of how she fell in love with herself through fashion, and how her job as a model helped her live the many lives she otherwise would've never experienced if she had stayed on her mother's preplanned course.
Fashion isn't just about the clothes, the romance, or the glamorous lifestyles. Fashion is looking back and basking in being looked at. Fashion is making meaning out of how others perceive you, and fashion can be a cruel reminder that those meanings are already preordained and predetermined. Yukari doesn't necessarily fight against that. She embraces it all and learns from it.
I'm going to stop here, because I don't think an essay about ParaKiss and first love is complete without talking about George's own implied ending and Tokumori's constant presence in the beginning, middle, and end of Yukari's story. There's still so much to say, so I'll save it for Part 2. For now, let me conclude with the argument that Paradise Kiss is so unique in so many ways. It takes on the typical rhythms and beats of a shoujo manga, but it also embraces the flaws, ugliness, and messiness of love as it manifests in romance and fashion. You can't appreciate and love ParaKiss without understanding how Yazawa carefully crafts and packages a coming-of-age story into a seemingly typical love story. To use the jargon of the trade, we come into ParaKiss believing the firm and distinct boundary separating haute couture from ready-to-wear. Fashion is both, and to fall in love with it is beautiful.
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