#I had to watch it today on the 20th anniversary

[asexual-squidward]

LOST Rewatch Episode 2 liveblog:

The characters meeting makes my heart melt. Hurley and Sayid shaking hands made me emotional.

Kate in the ocean is such shameless ‘for the men’ mid-2000s soft core p*rn, but all I can think is how that bra is not going to survive the salt water

They won’t show up to s2 but I keep thinking about The Others freaking out about the plane somewhere in the distance. Ben is currently scrambling.

Jin and Sun, those crazy kids. But also fuck Jin in this episode he’s so horrible to Sun ITS A TROPICAL ISLAND LET HER KEEP HER TOP BUTTON UNDONE.

“Dude I’m starving but I’m nowhere near that hungry” Hurley I adore you

“I’m looking for my son” better get used to that, Michael

“when we get home I’ll get you another dog” 10/10 parenting there

Whenever I see Boone I say ‘fucks sake Boone’

Shannon and Boone are the worst

Kate and Sayid stood there like 😐

Sawyer I remember hating you when I first watched this, then growing to love you. Can’t wait to retread that arc.

I love them all, although my favourite is stood somewhere in the barracks thinking to himself ‘wtf am I going to do about this’

Brilliant ‘actors clambering around tree roots acting like they’re scaling a cliff’

LOCKE. LOCKE. LOCKE. TERRY.

“What is it like checkers?” - the plot of  the show.

I WONDER WHAT THIS IS

POLAR BEAR POLAR BEAR POLAR BEAR

I’m laughing because I know how angry people get about the polar bear

“Is that what killed the pilot” fuck off Boone

“I’m not so good around blood” well your future protector bestie is going to be very good at getting covered in it so you’d better get used to it

Oh my god I forgot Danielle gets introduced this soon

”Where are we?” LOST. Gives me Always Sunny title card punchlines

[pancake-breakfast]

Ok! Notes from the first Orange panel at AX 2024! They were discouraging photography and video so this will just be text (mobile Tumblr hates my photos, anyway). But first, a bit of a TL;DR.

TL:DR: While they talked about Trigun: Stampede, Beastars, and their new upcoming title Leviathan, they mostly focused on Leviathan since Stampede has its own panel later. (I'm not sure about Beastars since I haven't been following the show as closely.)

Ok, on with the notes!

(Edited to add links.)

Studio Orange Presents: Beastars, Trigun, and...

The panel guests were Kiyotaka Waki (producer at Orange) and Yoshihiro Watanabe (producer at Orange and also played translator for Waki), as well as Justin Leach (producer for Eden and Star Wars: Visions).

They started off the panel by noting that exactly zero of the people on the panel (including the mod) slept the previous night.

Then they showed a sizzle reel in honor of Orange's 20th anniversary, highlighting all the stuff they've done in that time. There were a lot of cheers for Trigun, Beastars, and Land of the Lustrous in particular.

After the reel, they talked briefly about the history of Orange, how they'd gone from animating mecha for other people's shows (like they did for Evangelion and Code: Geass) to doing entire properties themselves. They're particularly proud of how their studio has grown from 4 people to... I forgot how many. Much more than 4. And they can now work on multiple titles simultaneously.

On to Trigun! They didn't get into it much since it's getting its own panel at the con, but they did show some pages from the Trigun Bible on Plants, and Watanabe noted he'd post them up on the bird app later today. (Edit: You can find them here.) Watanabe also said they can't release the whole Bible yet, which may just have me thinking hopefully, but hey, there's a chance! He seems to genuinely love sharing pages from it, at least.

On to Beastars! They read a thank you letter from the director to the fans, and also showed a subtitled video that I'd guess was also a thank you from someone else, but I was too far back to read the subtitles. (An ongoing problem with watching anything subbed at this con is the subs being entirely blocked by other people's heads unless you're in like the first few rows... but I digress.) They also showed a new key visual (which I'm sure is gonna be floating around social media somewhere at this point) and noted the third and final season of the show will air on Netflix in December. Waki noted he started reading the manga in 2017, and he's thrilled to get to work on a full adaptation of the story since it's rare to get to do that.

On to Leviathan! I'm gonna break this one up a bit because it's long. This is Studio Orange's new upcoming title in collaboration with Netflix and Qubic Pictures (the studio that did Eden, which was a great story overall and I definitely recommend it). They also worked extensively with the author of the original work, Scott Westerfield, who helped keep them consistent with the characters and themes.

The story is a dieselpunk alternate world WWI story about a runaway Austrian Prince named Alec who meets this Scottish girl, Sharp, on a bioengineered airship, and the relationships these people from disparate backgrounds have with others and each other.

The German/Austrian side of the conflict is a faction known as the "Clankers," who focus on mechs and technology to conquer the world via machines, while the faction Sharp belongs to is called the "Darwinists," who focus on DNA modification of creatures as a way to connect with nature.

They showed a preview of it that honestly looked really cool, but again, no recording. It had flying whale ships. Like... whales they strapped a box to and fly around on.

Orange is excited to get to "go back to their roots" with this and work on a Mecha title again, especially since this title will be theirs this time.

They acquired/absorbed (I'm not sure on the details) a team that specializes in background art for this project, and yeah, the backgrounds are detailed and amazing.

They noted a lot of animators reflect their own lives in their work, and they feel Leviathan is no exception. The international collaboration (they also have people from Europe working on this) lends itself well to a story about people from disparate cultures coming together and realizing they have more in common and more similar passions and desires than they have differences.

They'll be talking more about Leviathan at Otakon in August.

That's all for now! I'll try to update on the other Orange/Trigun panels if I get into them!

[mlleclaudine]

Meagan Good Reunites With ‘D.E.B.S.’ Co-Star Sara Foster & Director Angela Robinson For 20th Anniversary, Jordana Brewster Calls For Sequel

by Glenn Garner - Deadline, June 23, 2024

After 20 years MIA, the D.E.B.S. (Discipline, Energy, Beauty, Strength) are back together again and teasing a potential (not-so-secret) mission.

Meagan Good and Sara Foster, who starred together in 2004’s D.E.B.S., reunited Saturday night with writer and director Angela Robinson to celebrate the sapphic cult classic’s 20th anniversary with a Cinespia screening at Hollywood Forever Cemetery, in partnership with LA Pride.

“This film, for me, was an opportunity to do something different,” said Good as they introduced the film. “And then it became something where, now when people come up to me and they say, ‘Oh, I loved this movie’ or ‘this movie really inspired me’ or ‘made me feel seen,’ it wasn’t just an opportunity to do something different. It was an opportunity to be a part of something that’s important and fantastic.”

Foster echoed her co-star’s sentiments. “I will say that in 20 years, a lot of good things have happened to me in my life,” she said. “And to this day, one of the best things is people coming up to me and saying, ‘D.E.B.S. made me feel comfortable being who I am. D.E.B.S. made me realize who I am, who I want to be.’

“And it’s happened consistently for 20 years. So, I’ve done a lot of really shitty movies and a lot of shitty TV shows, but this is a movie that made a difference, probably the only thing I ever did that made a difference, at least in the movie business,” added Foster.

Foster starred in the action comedy — based on Robinson’s 2003 short of the same name — as Amy Bradshaw, a gifted recruit at a top-secret women’s paramilitary academy. During a mission to take down the illusive super criminal Lucy Diamond (Jordana Brewster), Amy develops an attraction to the enemy and finds her loyalties tested.

Although the movie’s marketing watered down its LGBTQ themes and it ultimately grossed less than $100,000 at the box office, D.E.B.S. has gone on to cult status among its intended fanbase.

“We made this so long ago, and my goal, our goal collectively was, I just wanted to see a teen movie that I wish I had when I was a teenager,” recalled Robinson. “And we had such a blast making the movie, and we had a great premiere at Sundance. And then the movie came out and totally flopped.

“But here’s the thing, I was so bummed out because I was like, ‘It’s not gonna get to the audience that I wanted to see this movie.’ And then you guys went and found it. Then somebody would tell me ‘yeah, I rented it in the video store.’ And I was all mad at the time … that they weren’t advertising it as a gay movie. But then it became this kind of underground thing where people would tell me they rented it at the video store or passed it or watched it on TV or something like that. And then it’s grown into this today. So, I want to say thank you so much.”

Robinson also thanked her wife of 25 years, Alexandra Kondracke, “who told me not to take the script and stick it in the drawer like I was going to,” as well Sony Screen Gems’ Clint Culpepper and Stacy Kramer, “because I can’t believe anyone gave us money to make this, but you did, and it’s amazing.”

“But mostly, I want to thank all of you for coming and being here and supporting D.E.B.S. because a bunch of people have come up to us collectively, and they said, ‘D.E.B.S. changed our lives,'” added Robinson. “And that’s incredibly gratifying to see all these years later.”

Although Brewster was in New Zealand and unable to attend the reunion, she graced her friends and fans with a video message, in which she imagined an “older, wiser Lucy Diamond. Has she learned her lesson? I don’t know… Probably not.”

“Have fun. I love you guys. I’m with you in spirit,” added Brewster. “And bug Angela about making a sequel, please.”

[writeaboutit]

Marijuana Cigarettes

Happy 4/20 y'all🍃! Here's a little Ellie x Reader ramble with smoking, movies, and smut. It's not beta read so forgive me for any mistakes. Also, I am in a writing slump so if y'all have any prompts or suggestions on what to write next pls let me know!!💟

Word count: 2k

Warnings: smut (mdni) 18+

You got a text this morning from your girlfriend saying plainly, “Come over tonight?”

Even though the text seemed a bit eerie you knew that was just Ellie. She was awkward as hell over text, it made you giggle every time you got a strange vague text from her.

She probably just wanted to watch a movie or show you another dinosaur book she found at the library.

At 7 you decided to head over to her and Joel's house. You parked your car outside of the main house on the street and followed the narrow path down the side of the house and through the back gate.

The path was slightly covered in a bit of lingering snow from the storm a few days ago but come the morning sun tomorrow it would most likely all melt away.

You made your way to the garage door, tapping your feet on the mat outside to rid your shoes of the sticky snow before turning the brass nob and entering the warm-ish detached garage.

Ellie was standing in front of her desk fiddling with something you couldn’t see when you walked in. You bent down to unlace your shoes as Ellie turned around alerted to your entrance by the squeak of the door, “Hey baby,”

“Hey,” You say standing up and padding across the room to Ellie. She envelopes you in a hug that chases the lingering chill from outside away. You sigh sinking further into her.

After a few moments, you lean back to look at her, “What are you up to? Did you find another dinosaur book?” you ask in question regarding her earlier text.

“No, I mean well yes but that’s not why I texted you earlier. Do you know what today is?” She’s grinning in excitement. You rack your brain trying to remember what today could be. It’s not your anniversary, you would have remembered that. Nobody’s birthday. You shook your head, looking up at her when you couldn’t come up with an answer.

She smiled even bigger, “It’s April 20th,”

The woman was practically shaking with excitement after she stated the date. It took you a few moments of confusion to understand what she was saying.

“Oh my god, it is. Do you have any weed?” You were getting excited now. It’d been a while since you smoked. Life had gotten hectic and by the time you and Ellie had time to hang out late at night, you both just wanted to watch a movie and fall asleep.

Before you started dating Ellie you didn’t like to smoke, it wasn’t your thing. Constant overthinking and chest-crushing anxiety were the standard experiences for you when high. But after the first time smoking with her, you realized it could be a lot of fun. At least she made it a LOT of fun.

She nodded stepping aside for you to finally see what she had been toying with when you walked in. On the workbench desk was a Bob Marley-covered grinder, rolling papers, and three joints. Little green bits of weed scattered across the wood of the table.

“Wanna get high off our asses and watch The Duff, baby?” Ellie smiled down at you waiting for your response.

“Hell yeah,” You began to unzip your coat, now feeling warm in the small room. Ellie grabbed a joint and your hand, pulling you to her bed in the corner of the room.

She snatched a gray lighter with a cowboy boot engraved on it off the nightstand and crawled onto the mattress wearing only her boyshorts and a tank top.

Before you joined her you whipped your long-sleeved shirt off and walked to Ellie’s closet replacing your shirt with one of her t-shirts. You kicked off your jeans and turned back to her. She was smiling, letting her eyes trail the length of your body.

“What?” You giggled feeling nervous under her stare.

“Nothing, I just like you in my clothes,”

Her voice sends a chill down your spine. You crawl in bed beside her, both of you leaning back against the headboard and she scrolls on the T.V. locating y’alls favorite movie to watch while high, The Duff.

The movie starts and you both settle back into the pillows, Ellie’s arm around your shoulders, your leg thrown over her hip.

Ellie flicks the lighter open, places the joint between her lips, and sucks as the tip lights. The embers on the tip of the joint glow orange in the darkening room, the only other light source being the small television in the corner of the room.

Grey smoke billows out of her mouth as she smiles at the feel of the first hit. The earthy scent of weed instantly fills the room. You take the joint as she offers it to you, taking a deep hit. Smoke fills your lungs, settling warm in your chest before you blow it out.

You guys continue the rotation until most of the joint has burned up and you are significantly high. You feel like you’re in zero gravity and yet at the same time feel like you have an elephant sitting on your chest. You are hyperaware of every place where your skin touches your girlfriends.

The skin of your thigh feels like it’s on fire as it rests upon hers and her finger leaves a trail of lightning as it passes over your shoulder in methodical motions.

You grab her hand bringing it in front of her face. You take in the vanes running over the top of her hand, the lines weaving along her palm, and her short nails. You have lost all interest in the movie, far more concentrated on your girlfriend’s lovely hands.

Next, you move on to inspecting her tattoo. You trace the leaves across her forearm with your finger, reveling in the fact that the hairs on her arms rise with goosebumps in the wake of your touch. You move on to tracing the moth, circling all of the patterns on its wings.

“Baby?” Ellie sighs, the high hitting her just as hard if her voice says anything.

“Mhm?” You don’t look up, continuing your path up her arm.

“I need you to stop that,” Ellie choked out.

“Why?” This gets you to look up at her.

Her pupils are blown wide, turning her eyes black in the low lighting, “Because your touch is leaving every one of my nerve endings on fire and we haven’t finished the movie yet.”

You smirked, glad she was feeling just as affected as you. You let her arm go and leaned up kissing her deeply, “That’s good because my whole body is on fire,” You whisper seductively when the kiss breaks.

Ellie groans, leaning her forehead on yours before muttering, “Fuck the movie,”

You giggle nodding, “Fuck the movie,”

Suddenly you’re flipped onto your back and Ellie’s lips are on your neck. She leaves a trail of kisses from the underside of your jaw to your collarbones. Lifting your shirt she reveals your breasts. You gasp as the cool air hits your nipples causing them to peak.

Ellie lets out a grumble at the sight. Before long she’s continuing her trek down to the place you want her most. She starts at the place between your breasts, continuing down the center of your stomach before landing just above the hem of your panties.

She smiles up at you before lightly grazing her nail over your clothed clit. You whimper at the sudden contact. Squirming you wait for more. All you want is more in this moment.

“What do you want baby?” Ellie asks in a teasing tone.

“More… please,” You whine. Ellie’s chest rumbles with a chuckle as she places a kiss against the inside of your thigh.

“Tell me exactly what you want,” Ellie’s teeth graze the hem of your panties as she waits for your response.

You gasp at the sight of her between your legs, the sight turning you on more than expected. She always did this, asking you to tell her exactly what you wanted. The woman was a slut for your words.

“I want your fingers in me now Ellie,” You whined, losing patience.

She laughed, “Yes ma’am,” Suddenly she was ripping your panties down your legs and throwing your legs over her shoulders. She looked up at you as she oh so slowly dropped the lightest kiss possible to the top of your clit.

You threw your head back at the contact, balling the sheets in a punishing fist.

“You gonna come all over my fingers baby,” Ellie asked as she pushed the first finger inside.

“God yes Ellie…please!” You lifted your hips, following the movement of her fingers.

Ellie groaned leaning down to trail the tip of her tongue over your clit. You could feel the pressure building in the pit of your stomach. You needed to come so bad but you never wanted this to end.

Ellie must have felt that you were getting close because she pulled back slightly, stopping all her movements. You gave a whiny cry when she stopped. This made her laugh and you wanted to scream. You needed to come so bad.

“Do you want to come, baby?” You wanted to wipe that smile off your girlfriend’s face but that would not get you the orgasm you were so desperately craving.

“Yes.” You groaned back.

“What do you say?”

Ugh, this woman was pushing your buttons in the way only she could, “Please Ellie! Please make me come.” You bucked your hips prompting her to continue.

“That’s what I wanted to hear,” Ellie dove back in, devouring you. She lapped at your clit, back and forth up and down. You felt drouzy with lust.

She added one finger, pulling it out and adding another when reentering. You moaned riding her fingers as best you could in this position.

“You’re doing so good for me, baby. Are you gonna come?”

“Yes, yes keep going, Ellie!” You practically screamed, chasing the orgasm you could feel teetering on the edge, ready to burst.

“Come, come for me baby, please.” Ellie pleaded.

It was her please that sent you over the edge. The whole time she acted as if she was in control of the situation but she wanted to make you come just as badly as you wanted to come. Her pleading for it was too much.

You twitched and sighed, coming down from the high as Ellie crawled up the length of your body, leaving kisses in her wake. She placed a kiss on your forehead before pulling you into her side, cuddling you.

After a few minutes of recovering, you leaned up and placed a lingering kiss on her lips. At first, it was soft and sensual but after just a few moments the kiss turned more heated. You threw your leg over hers, framing her hips on your knees.

Before the make-out could turn into anything more a knock sounded at the door startling you both. You froze and Ellie groaned.

“Yeah?” she called out.

“I’ve got dinner inside if you girls are hungry,” It was Joel’s voice that called back, “Oh and Tommy and Maria are coming over.” He continued.

You bit your lip to keep from laughing at the grimace on Ellie’s face. She rubbed her face with her palm before shouting back, “Okay we’ll be in in a bit,”

The sound of Joel’s footsteps retreated down the path back to the house. You giggled as Ellie rolled her eyes. You climbed off her and the bed searching for your jeans. After slipping them on you walked back to the mattress where Ellie hadn’t moved from, just watching you.

“Come on hot shot, I’m hungry.” You offered your hand dragging her out of bed. She grumbled something about Joel being a cock-block and she got dressed.

You both slipped your shoes on and made your way to the door. She placed her hand on the nob going to open the door but you stopped her.

Leaning up to her ear you whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ll make you come real hard when we get back, baby.” You pecked her cheek and bolted outside giggling before she could drag you back to bed.

How did we like it? This is my first time posting my smut writings so if it was bad sorry I tried (I'm much better at fluff). Anyway, thanks for reading! 🤍

[pheonixxfoxx]

My Savior Captain Buggy!!!

Today has been downright awful for me. I'm thoroughly tired of merely experiencing a thankless and lonesome life. A miserable life that I am currently stuck with until something comes through. Who knows when that will even be?!

Enough about the dreadful state of my dismal life let's have a positive collection update!

The Cabaji and Mohji/Richie can badges were purchased with my Big Top ita bag in mind. Naturally wanted to include some of the Buggy Pirates too after all!

The top row of cards was pulled from thirteen random packs. I purchased them knowing all too well that they had been cherry picked through. However, at less then $1.00 each, one couldn't resist! On top of that, there were Buggy cards to be had!

Absolutely, I passionately love my full art TCG card way too much! Instantly made my whole year pulling it after all! The one keychain off to the right there, is likely a bootleg. A choice item for an ita bag in my book.

The golden glittery card to the lower left is the best thing ever! It's filled with liquid, and I can just sit here all day shaking it. The Chop-Chop Fruit charms, are now on the zipper pulls of my Big Top ita bag and looking flashy!

Two specific items in this pic are from various sources. The box of playing cards, in the upper right corner came from eBay and the wanted poster keychain was an Aliexpress find.

The Stampede movie items were part of an admission bonus. It was purchased mostly for the little acrylic Buggy charm there. Didn't realize what the book contained until it was in my greedy paws.

OMG, Buggy concept art!!! Truly extremely desirable indeed! *drools*

Yeah, the watch isn't Buggy themed but still rather impressive for words!

You can either select an individual color for the LED light or set it on rotation mode. This watch was apart of the 20th Anniversary and only 300 were made, mine is #218/300.

This wanted poster, of the most attractive flashy man ever, was part of a lottery. Selected winners obtained all 4 wanted posters of the Emperors. Amazingly, I stumbled upon a seller with just the Buggy one up for grabs and at a good price!

Just when one thought the new art card was sexy, this bag is even more so! The plan is to hopefully acquire a frame for and hanging it on the wall, where I can gaze upon this gorgeous art at all times.

Buyee intentionally keeps waving a 15% off figures purchased on Mercari coupon in my silly face. *lol*

This is an official figure I've starred at online often and maybe had some dirty thoughts about. Um wait, what? Needless to say, it is currently mine and well worth the wait!

The last newly acquired item was this promotional poster from the "One Piece Emotion Exhibition." For a little while, it will still remain rolled up safely in the box. My wall space is rather lacking and framing it is undoubtedly preferred.

Speaking of space lacking, the ever growing Buggy corner may need its own wall soon. The cabinet is rather packed too! *lol*

[scotianostra]

Happy Birthday John Alexander Cruickshank, VC, born on May 20th 1920 in Aberdeen.

Yep, born in 1920, I know I sometimes get the age wrong, but John Cruikshank today celebrates his 104th birthday, making him the oldest person to feature in my anniversary posts.

The former Aberdeen Grammar school pupil, was involved in one of the most audacious acts of the conflict when he flew his Catalina aircraft through a torrential hail of flak. And, although his first pass was unsuccessful, he brought it around for a second sortie, this time straddling a U-boat and sinking the vessel.

However, the German anti-aircraft fire proved fatally accurate in response, killing the navigator and injuring four others, including both Flight Lieutenant Cruickshank and second pilot, Flight Sergeant Jack Garnett.

The Granite City pilot, who was just 24, suffered scores of different injuries while he and his comrades were engaged in sinking the German submarine, and, although their had succeeded in their first objective, there was another huge task in trying to return home safely to Sulom Voe, Shetland.

Cruikshank was educated at The Royal High School (RHS) of Edinburgh, Aberdeen Grammar School and Stewart’s Melville College in Edinburgh, his working life began when he was apprenticed to The Commercial Bank of Scotland on George Street Edinburgh, many of you will know the building nowadays as The Dome.

Looking back over 75 years ago it is amazing that Jock Cruikshank not only survived the mission, but is still alive today, he was hit in 72 places, and suffered serious lung injuries and 10 penetrating wounds to his lower limbs. Yet, despite this panoply of pain, he refused medical attention until he was sure that the appropriate radio signals had been sent and the aircraft was on course for its home base. Even at that stage, he refused morphine, aware that it would cloud his judgement and potentially jeopardise the rest of the men on board.

Flying through the night, it took the damaged craft five-and-a-half hours to get back to Sullom Voe, with Flt Sgt Garnett at the controls and his colleague lapsing in and out of consciousness in the back. Eventually, though, as another major hurdle came into the equation, he returned to the cockpit and took command of the aircraft.

There was nothing straightforward about ensuring the Catalina’s passage homewards; it had been impacted badly along with the crew members.

But, after deciding that the light and the sea conditions for a water landing were too risky for his inexperienced colleague, Flt Lt Cruickshank kept the craft in the air for as long he could, circling for an extra hour, as the prelude to bringing it down successfully on the water and ferrying the plane to an area where it could be safely beached.

It was an astonishing act of bravery, and yet Mr Cruickshank has always shunned the limelight or refused to take any credit for his actions. As one of his RAF colleagues later recalled, he felt he was one of the lucky ones to survive the conflict, unlike so many of his RAF friends who perished.

The brave pilot was later awarded the Victoria Cross at the Palace of Holyrood House by King George VI.

You can view a re-enactment in this docu-drama on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mraRXjjIAUc

JOCK CRUIKSHANK IS THE LAST SURVIVING WORLD WAR TWO VICTORIA CROSS HERO

The colour pics are of the man on his 100th and hundred and third birthdays respectively

[mouldymp3rotations]

0624-010

Hi, sorry i'm late again, I had a few other things to do, and I ended up forgetting about this month's rotation lol (also i wanna point out that this is the DIXième rotation \m/)

This month, I had made a poll to let vk tumblr chose for me which rotation from my 20th anniversary would be up next. Here are the results :

First of, I wanna say thank you for voting ! I was absolutely expecting to not get even 10 votes on this lmao. Thank you for participating in my little experiment eheheh.

As usual : Song titles link to individual mp3 file download

All 5 songs can also be downloaded together in a zip file from the link at the bottom

So here what I had in reserve for Deathgaze, Dir en grey, Gazette, Mucc, and Soroban :D

DEATHGAZE - Dies Irae

I did not realized this, at the time, but I literally got introduced to deathgaze with their very first release... which was with their original line-up, which is also how I got to discover Hazuki and how I also got introduced to lynch. with their first release too :D

Dies Irae was released on 294036224052, in 2004 (the whole thing is worth listening ♥)

Dir en grey - Obscure

A fucking classic. I said in the previous entry that I originally didn't like dir, so this one came after I gave them another try. I spent my last year of high school listening to this song in a loop in between moi dix mois songs lol

Obscure was on Vulgar, released in 2003 (which also is still in my top dir album ! I also still think the original version is superior to the 2011 version, but that's me :3 )

(sorry that's the only one that doesn't require signing in apparently)

GAZETTE - The $ocial riot machine$

Now, I gotta be honest, i happened to lose interest in gazette very fast, as they are one of these bands that the visual is more interesting than the music to me. Today, I think they are a good base to get into visual kei, they were back in 2004 too, even if they were babies :D But between 2004 and 06, I was also looking for heavier faster songs, and this song here scratched that itch (ngl it surfed on the wave pop is dead created lmao)

The social riot machines was found on the album Disorder, released in 2004

MUCC - 我、在ルベキ場所 (ware, arubeki basho)

HAAAA this song is still so very effective on me. Mucc went all over the place, and I like some of their songs from all their eras, but I think their early 2000's is my favourite. Actually I think ware arubeki basho might be my favourite mucc song. Anyway you should listen to mucc ! Mucc is also the opposite of band like the gazette, to me, cause i spent a loooooooong time listening to them without even knowing what they looked like except for Yukke lol (and even then, if he hadn't his blond bowl cut............)

And I just learned that ware, arubeki basho was a single released in 2003, before being on 是空 (zekuu), later that year.

(wow i had not watched that in.................. 20 years lmao)

そろばん (soroban) - -RAM-

Soroban is a band only me knows...... ok no lol. But i knew them before Yumehito went to Ayabie (two thumbs down tbh) I also spent the longest time with only that song from them because, in 2004, I didn't realize how fucking indie visual kei was and I wanted more soroban, but all I got is that soroban is the japanese word for an abacus... i ended up finding their (really short) discography years later and was almost disappointed that -ram- is their only song sounding like that (the rest is good too, actually, just less heavy and more kawaii i guess)

-ram- was the A-side of the -RAM- / オレンジ手紙 初回限定盤 (-RAM- / orange tegami) single, released in 2004 (orange tegami is also a very good song !!)

and I can't find -ram- on youtube (there's the 2006 re-recording i didn't know existed though) so here :

zip file with all 5 songs HERE ♥

[brrrkdslek]

you watched as yeosang kneeled down on the grave, pointing a gun at his head. "detective," he spoke, "what is it?" "what... date is it today?" you checked your i-watch before replying, "it's the 20th." he smiles lightly, "it's her death anniversary today."

your grip on the gun falters for a second, "is she the reason you became like this? your sister, right?" his head lowers, "yeah," he turns his head to smile at you apologetically, "but i seem to have no luck finding him. whoever i kill, they just- they're damn useless."

as he stands, you can't help but feel sad for the man, even when he was covered in somebody else's blood. he became a murderer just so he could find his sister's killer, to which he still had no luck in.

you began hearing siren in the distance. bitting your lip, you curse yourself for starting to sympathise for the man, the same man who you've been chasing since the start of the year.

"alright detective," yeosang put his wrists together in front of you, "take me away." your eyes widen in disbelief, "...what?" he smiles gently, "it's what i deserve." you couldn't even speak.

"i must say though, encountering you and fighting you all the time has made my heart full. i wanted to-" you pull him in for a kiss, shocking the man. he rests his hands on your hip, you held his face gently as if he were fragile glass, and would break at any moment.

you pulled away quickly when the siren got closer. faces still close, you whispered softly, "go." his brows furrowed, "what? what are you-" "get out of here," you gently push him away, "i'll catch him for you, so go."

your eyes began to fill with tears as he hesitated, "then come with me! i can-" "no," you stroke his cheek as the tears slid down your own, "i can't, you know i can't." yeosang bit his tongue as he removed his hands from you,

you push him away, "go, now!" more tears slid down your cheeks as you held your gun at him again, forcing him to go. he smiles as a stray tear leaves his eye, "i love you." you bit your lip and let out a sob, "...go, get away from here!"

reluctantly, yeosang turns around and sprints into the forest, disappearing into the night. you had to physically stop yourself from chasing after him, holding him and telling him to take you too.

i promise i'll meet you in our next life.

[kaythefloppa]

With The Lion Guard's 10th anniversary happening in November of next year, I think the best way they can celebrate it, and also the easiest way they can celebrate it (as in, not a fourth season, sequel series, books, or new movies), would be reruns.

When The Lion Guard was coming to a conclusion, it's viewing figures on television took a hard dip, partly due to Disney's poor distribution of the episodes. Because of this, reruns (at least here in America) did not last that long. Only from November 3rd to December 30th, 2019, and then the show was gone for good. They couldn't keep the completed show on the air during the winter holidays when kids had 2 weeks off from school and were at home likely doing nothing but watching TV. Which is - not a good sign.

Up until recently, I would've assumed that Disney would've done nothing for the show given these unflattering results. But seeing the Disney Jr. musical short, as well as people online posting merch of the show in spite of half a decade passing since the show ended, gets me thinking of some significant way Disney would acknowledge the series.

Anyways, back to the topic of reruns. The one thing that would redeem this show's unsatisfying send-off would be reruns, perhaps in the form of a marathon, to celebrate the decade anniversary of the show. Something similar happened this year when The Lion King was re-released in theaters for it's 30th anniversary (most likely to compensate for Mufasa: The Lion King, getting delayed 6 months due to the strikes).

Disney, even Disney Jr has done reruns of cancelled/completed shows, either regularly or as special occassions. Sofia the First and Tangled got reruns on World Princess Week: Jessie still gets reruns on Disney Channel, ironically increasing in quantity ever since it's spin-off Bunk'd ended. Phineas and Ferb got endless reruns on Disney Channel and Disney XD, even before the announcement of the revival. And not to mention many holiday specials/movies/crossovers such as Good Luck Charlie. And just recently, Wizards of Waverly Place got a marathon of reruns in light of next month's reboot series, Beyond.

So it would be very thematically appropriate for The Lion Guard to get this type of treatment. Reruns, from the pilot episode, all the way to the finale, marathoning all day on Disney Junior. It would give the show the mainstream fanfare and recognition, from its target demo audience, that it was robbed of when it died. Not only would it introduce kids of today's generation to The Lion King franchise, but it would potentially bring back viewers who were in the show's target demographic when it aired - who would now be adults themselves.

And it would come full circle too since The Lion Guard was pitched, created, and announced as a tribute to The Lion King's 20th anniversary itself, so to have a decade-related anniversary like this would be sweet in theory.

Do I think Disney will actually do this? No. This is all hypothetical. Logically speaking the furthest thing they'll do is probably upload some Lion Guard full episodes onto the YouTube channel, post a few Tik-Toks, make a few "happy anniversary" tweets and leave it at that. But it's a do-able/possible-ish idea for a way they can give tribute to the show's decennial. I will not hold my breath on that idea, or be surprised if they do viritually little to nothing for the anniversary (I'd actually be surprised if they did anything more than the abovementioned logical factors such as happy anniversary posts and tweets).

[asumictransl]

Voice in Blue Guest Messages

translation on (09/22/2023)

From the Voice in Blue concert booklet

Messages from Asumi Rio's four top musumeyaku, and her classmate!

Content below the cut

Ranno Hana

Q1. What comes to mind when you think of Asumi Rio?

In the past, meat! The day before a shinjin kouen or shonichi she would take me out to eat some meat and then we’d quickly disperse! Ah... I wish I could say something cuter. Asumi, how are you doing now?

Q2. If you could appear together in a show together again, what kind of relationship would you like to play?

I love her Matsugae Kiyoaki in Spring Snow, so an extremely sadistic and arrogant person...... No, wait, I’d like to bicker on stage with an extremely arrogant Asumi (laughs)!

Q3. A message for Asumi Rio’s 20th Anniversary

Asumi, congratulations on your 20th anniversary. From her hatsubutai in Senor Don Juan, even when I was a fan, I always watched Asumi shining on stage...... Then I too became a part of Moon Troupe, and we were paired together for the first time in Fancy Dance’s chuuzume, then from there it was every performance. Then there was the Yume no Ukihashi shinjin kouen, then my transfer, and then finally our fateful reunion in Flower Troupe. She also had that truly unexpected Elisabeth ohirome. I was happy from the bottom of my heart to be able to sing, dance, and act with her again.

Asumi Rio is a glimmer of hopeful light!! Throughout these 20 years, I’ve always felt this way. Today I’d like to celebrate with all of my love with the other former wives and you guys!

Kano Maria

Q1. What comes to mind when you think of Asumi Rio?

Courage.

I was able to study under and be guided by such an incredibly courageous person known as Asumi Rio. Even after accomplishing a beautiful change from otokoyaku to actress, the way I see courage in her is everlasting. She would give me advice on how to be better on stage while wiping away my tears, and when I almost fell down the stairs in stage rehearsals she firmly grabbed me and saved me...... There’s too many times like that to list where her courage was on display!

Q2. If you could appear together in a show together again, what kind of relationship would you like to play?

Something unlike in our Takarazuka era with a simple set, like a play dialogue heavy show, and our roles being close to one another (what a luxury that would be). Something like a relationship between two people who happened to be sitting next to each other on the shinkansen, or two regular customers to a cozy cafe...... My dreams are endless.

Q3. A message for Asumi Rio’s 20th Anniversary

Congratulations on your 20th anniversary. I am truly honored to be able to be a part of your celebratory concert. Asumi will always be my driving force. For that ever-shining person, from the bottom of my heart here is my utmost respect and thanks. Here’s to a wonderful concert!

Senna Ayase

Q1. What comes to mind when you think of Asumi Rio?

Hydrangeas!

I heard that she liked them, and whenever hydrangeas come in season and begin to bloom I always think of Asumi. Nowadays, whenever I see a pretty one blooming on the roadside I always get happy and take a picture...... so now my phone’s camera roll is full of pictures (laughs). At some point they became one of my favorite flowers!

Q2. If you could appear together in a show together again, what kind of relationship would you like to play?

Childhood friends! I think it would be really fun to play an affectionate drinking scene talking to each other. I always thought that scenes where Asumi was drunk were so excellent and impressive, so the fans must also love it, right?!

Q3. A message for Asumi Rio’s 20th Anniversary

Congratulations on your 20th anniversary! I have been so moved and inspired by the way you always think so thoroughly about your roles and pour all the love that you have into playing each and every one. To be able to celebrate such a momentous anniversary with you makes me truly happy. I’ll sing with every bit of heart and care.

Yuki Hana

Q1. What comes to mind when you think of Asumi Rio?

She never compromises anything no matter what.

If she has the slightest bit of time, she’s training, practicing her singing, it’s an image that’s seared into my brain... her after rehearsals alone doing those voluntary trainings. Of course her costumes and accessories as well, and her specific angles, etc; she’s particular about everything down to the millimeter. Witnessing that part of Asumi up close, spending those years with her, it gave me truly invaluable experiences in my life.

Q2. If you could appear together in a show together again, what kind of relationship would you like to play?

I really love Asumi singing “Ai wo tomenai de” in her concert Love Arena (I love any Asumi though) just before she retired, and I think the lyrics, “Because I will protect you no matter what,” were a nosebleed moment for everyone else too. Just like these lyrics, my delusion is wanting to see a delinquent Asumi, and get taken out on a date by said delinquent Asumi...

Q3. A message for Asumi Rio’s 20th Anniversary

Asumi, congratulations on your 20th anniversary. I am truly happy to be able to celebrate with you like this. I am the utmost grateful for the miracle of having Asumi come to live as Asumi Rio, and being able to meet and hold such a relationship like this. I will continue to pray for Asumi’s continued health and happiness from here on.

Nagina Ruumi

Q1. What comes to mind when you think of Asumi Rio?

A translucent being. Going back to around 23 years ago, on the day of Takarazuka’s entrance exam day, I passed by Sayumi* in the hallway and I had to look again because she was shining with cuteness and beauty. ‘These are the kind of girls that get accepted,’ I thought. Our examination numbers were close, and we also sat opposite of each other once, such translucent skin and beauty, I just sat there and gazed at her without thinking. Even now this hasn’t changed a bit, when we had the chance to do a job together for the first time in forever the other day, I excitedly threw out a barrage of questions like, “Why are you so cute!” “Why do you just glow like that!” (laughs).

Q2. If you could appear together in a show together again, what kind of relationship would you like to play?

When we performed together we were parent and child, so something outside of that, as long as the roles are sufficiently intertwined with each other!

Q3. A message for Asumi Rio’s 20th Anniversary

Congrats on your 20th anniversary concert. When you think about it, we have a 20-some year relationship. Not just your translucent beauty, but also that translucent* heart you have always had continues to heal me. An actress that with such translucence added on top of the talent of working hard, has the charm of being able to be painted in any role. I have nothing but respect for her. I’m truly happy to have been classmates with Sayumi, and now once again be able to star with her like this. She has an irreplaceable existence. Here’s to eternity, from now until we become (grandpas?) grandmas.

I’m truly looking forward to Sayumi’s continued growth in her life as an actress. Notes:

*Mirio's real name is Sayumi, so this is what her classmates call her.

*What Kacha means by 'translucent heart' likely some sens of 'pure', but she uses the same word she used to describe her beauty so I kept it for effect.

Wow long time no post... It's not that I haven't been trying to translate I've just never finished anything lol. But yes its been a crazy year both in terms of Mirio and just normal life!! I'm sure most of you know my Mirio happenings (if you don't just know I'm living my best life), and who would have guessed that even though theater is so much fun, going on top of school and work stills drains so much energy out of you. I'm going to do my best to translate more things out of this concert booklet because it honestly has so much content and the concert was just, long story short, amazing. Thanks for reading!!

[dausy]

I have literally uploaded to almost every social media today, which has taken almost the entire day. My dog has been staring at me in disappointment for hanging out in this room for hours.

Happy 30th Anniversary to The Lion King. Which is crazy because I saw the original in theaters when I was 6 years old way back in 1994. I don't even know where the time went. I even took my little sister to the 20th anniversary rerelease in theaters.

I don't think it could be anymore obvious this might be my favorite movie of all time. The weird reactions I get to my merchandise collection or the tattoo I put on my body and probably shouldn't have. I don't think the affect this movie has had on my life could be anymore evident and what it means to me cant be described. I remember watching the movie as a kid and deciding I wanted to be an animator. That didn't happen (though I did take..some animation courses in college, believe it or not). But it did introduce me to a lovely community online which changed the trajectory of my art for the rest of my life. I'm not sure what my parents think of my weird quirk but I don't think my mother can judge my obsession considering her own! but I'm sure it'd be easier to brag on a child if they obsessed over something slightly less childish? Oddly enough my art is more Disney now than it was when I was in the community as a kid..so..I dont know what that means.

But the music still makes me cry, I still look at clouds and think to myself "oh those are lion king clouds" when its particularly cloudy with the sun rays shining through. I can't get over how pretty the character designs are. I still enjoy collecting the merch. I can still smell the toy aisle when I was a kid and that sensation of what it was like to walk through the store with "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" playing overhead on the radio back when the movie was brand new.

oddly enough though, it is the one disney movie that I will not rewatch because I have an internalized fear that I may hate it. My only regret is, is the timing for this anniversary couldn't be worse. I feel guilty spending money when I don't have a paycheck coming in and we are getting ready to move and I should stop collecting so much stuff. But look at all the new merch coming out! I do get messages from people all the time "did you see this new item? this new item?" and I have to keep talking myself out of buying them.

Also, sadly the movie is not being rereleased in my area 8(

[nohrianseneschal]

Paradise Kiss: A Lesson on Dreams and Being Happy (heavy spoilers) Part 1

Thanks to this totally random tweet about anime endings, I'm reminded of an old shoujo manga flame of mine from the early 2000s: Paradise Kiss, nicknamed ParaKiss by its mangaka and fans. In stereotypical Ai Yazawa fashion (baddum tss), this manga revolves around a hopelessly flawed yet peak relatable girl undergoing the trials and tribulations of self-discovery. It just so happens that the setting takes place in a generic, average-sized town in Japan, and it just so happens that this town is home to an eclectic ensemble cast of aspiring fashionistas and designers. And it also just so happens that this cast is at a crossroads: their 3rd year in high school. Yukari was initially on the conventional path of graduating with top marks and entering into a prestigious university. By the time we get to the 2nd chapter of the manga, we see Yukari cast all her mother's dreams aside to become a model in the cutthroat fashion industry.

We begin with our protagonist Yukari, who is enrolled in an elite private high school. She spends her days studying for college entrance exams, but early on, we discover that her hard work is very extrinsically motivated. Specifically, her mother has had an iron-clad grip on her life, and if not for a chance encounter on the street, Yukari would've continued on in this way. Living without living. Doing things that don't make her happy or give her any meaning -- a shell for others' aspirations and desires.

As I said, a chance encounter brings her to the hole-in-the-wall atelier, which was an antique bar rennovated into an... well, atelier for fashionistas attending the local art school. Yukari has been scouted by one of the students to model for their upcoming fashion show in the school's Culture Festival. Although she vehemently opposes the idea at first, Yukari decides to model for them, after witnessing firsthand the extent of their conviction and earnestness of their efforts.

I am deliberately downplaying George's role in here, because I do think future readers should get to know George (the manga's romantic lead and 90s toxic boy) at their own pace and through Yukari's perspective. Describing him would remove some of the magic that is necessary to experience through Yukari's besotted eyes, and Yazawa does a great job staging the cognitive dissonance Yukari herself feels when she's around George. What you should know right away is that George is the de facto leader of the Atelier group and designer behind the label Paradise Kiss. It is his word that becomes the final voice in asking Yukari to model, and it is his intoxicating presence that drives her to join them.

All this to say, that there's a reason -- I think -- that ParaKiss, out of many other Shoujo or even Shounen romances of the 2000s, is still the only one being reprinted. Its 20th-anniversary edition was reprinted back in 2019. In the wake of Nana's permanent hiatus (Yazawa's more popular manga), ParaKiss's fandom is alive and well. More and more people are discovering it, thanks to the reductively short anime adaptation making its way to streaming services. The promise of a (very satisfying) conclusion provides a healing balm of sorts for deluded Nana fans, and the story in its entirety holds its own as a romance masterpiece. The art style, the fashion, the romance, and the writing are all top scorers, but something about ParaKiss remains startlingly unique despite more than 20 years passing us by. Very few shoujo manga dare to try what Yazawa has done with this story, and very few shoujo manga do it so seamlessly -- devoid of the mandatory witticisms and marvelizations so common in today's media. ParaKiss is honest. Brutally honest. Yukari's inner monologues and expressions anticipate what the audience is thinking, not because she's so clever but because we can all relate to her. We've all made that mistake we can't help making. We've all watched ourselves undergo the consequences of our stupid actions, with nothing but self-pity to help us weather the storm. And all of us have known the beauty of believing the world is full of limitless possibilities, and we've tasted the bittersweet revelation that limitations do exist, and that's okay.

In other words, you don't have to be an intellect to enjoy and feel the takeaways of ParaKiss. The mangaka isn't trying to wink and nudge you into believing you're a smart consumer, because Yukari's story (or perhaps, Yukari herself) speaks of a hurt deeper than narrative conflict. Her hurt comes from one's first love, whatever or whoever it may be. First love isn't always romance (although it's a huge part of Yukari's story in ParaKiss). First love is the feeling that everything is new and ripe for discovery. First love is the disappointment that this period of discovery is finite, but you're so much stronger and better for having gone through it, brief as it may be. That is Paradise for Yukari: first love as the Edenic coming-of-age journey she needed to become who she is meant to be.

Many fans and critics agree that Paradise Kiss is a story about one's first love, and how you can have an impactful romance without it ending into a happily ever after. Of course I agree with this take. George is the 2nd protagonist, no question. His presence, actions, and personality catalyze the journey of self-discovery that Yukari finds in her last year of high school.

That said, I don't think enough attention has been paid to the other first love Yukari goes through: the world of fashion. Indeed, the story begins and ends with Yukari's time in the fashion world - her first thrills of modeling and her final, bittersweet acceptance of its inevitable end. This part of the story is so underhanded yet profoundly philosophical, I'm surprised discussions of fashion have become afterthoughts in any serious commentary of ParaKiss.

It's worth noting that Yukari doesn't exactly have insecurities directly related to her physical appearance. It's probably the most unrelatable part of her. When people comment on her beauty, she doesn't deny it, but she doesn't affirm it. We're meant to see and understand Yukari's natural beauty as a fact of her life, like the color of her hair or her height. She even brags about being able to stay skinny no matter how much she eats, which is the closest I came to hating a shoujo protagonist to be honest. Rather, her feelings of self-inadequacy stem from her immaturity, lack of style, and overall lack of self-confidence. In other words, when she starts the story believing her crush on classmate Tokumori is hopeless, she reasons, "Tokumori won't go for girls like me." Yukari doesn't mean she's too ugly for him. She means she's too inferior; too stupid; too 'uncool' for someone she perceives as the ideal. Even when she swiftly moves on to George and sets her sights on him, Yukari's feelings of worthlessness influence her behavior and decisions in the relationship, ultimately affecting how George himself treats her.

If Yukari's psyche sounds incoherent, it is and it isn't. It's realistically incoherent. Women are socially conditioned to find themselves inadequate in some way, and that self-perception is ultimately dictated by how men receive and project it back. This is the genius of ParaKiss. Whether or not you relate, this facet of Yukari's personality is an apt observation on what it means to be a woman as a high schooler, and I don't think it's an accident that prior to meeting the ParaKiss fashion team, Yukari's self-worth came entirely from her mother. For Yukari, growing up and leaving the nest means learning your place in the world in relation to men, and perhaps that's why Yukari's first love is riddled with so much pain, beauty, and joy.

In this cut-out of a panel, Yukari finally asks herself the question that must be in the fore of everyone's minds: 'What am I to George?' What is she to the man she considers the most important to her? What are we in relation to men? It takes Yukari 6 months to figure out that she doesn't need George to answer the first part of that question. By the time the series ends, Yukari is able to ask the same question without George.

These romantic pitfalls and triumphs become more meaningful when you realize this occurs in the context of breaking out into the fashion industry. Similar to Eve in Milton's Paradise Lost, Yukari looks at a mirror and discovers herself. She falls in love with that image. She falls in love with what fashion (not George!) reflects back at her -- a confident, cool woman who can don all sorts of masks and clothes.

When she asks a veteran model for advice on how to walk the runway, the model cryptically replies, "Just tell yourself you're the most beautiful woman in the world." This is a hurdle for the likes of Yukari, whose low self-esteem has prevented her from truly being alive prior to the events of the story. When she does walk down that runway, fully confident and basking in the crowd's reaction to her beauty, Yukari finally understands what it means. Telling yourself you're the most beautiful woman in the world is akin to believing yourself a woman; akin to believing yourself a woman worth existing and hogging the spotlight, without a man to justify it. Yukari might have been wearing clothes that George designed, but one can argue that the dress would not exist without Yukari. Indeed, he designed it with her face and body in mind. Yukari herself inspires the art George believes he's creating, and Yukari herself embodies and imparts the meaning of that art for the audience when she walks down the runway.

Thanks to the fashion show and Yukari's success, George himself realizes he cannot design for ready-to-wear clothing lines. Yukari too discovers that modeling isn't something she can just do. It's something she can work hard at, succeed, fail, and still enjoy. Unlike the grind of studying endlessly for exams she'll never pass, Yukari finds fulfillment in trying and failing in the fashion industry, and this self-realization lets her redefine what it means to succeed and fail, as we all come to understand by the end of the manga.

Given that Ai Yazawa studied fashion, it's no surprise that clothing, design, and the industry's connections are all important for Yukari's coming-of-age. Modeling and wearing George's clothes aren't all butterflies and roses. As we later see by the end of the manga, fashion leaves Yukari feeling dehumanized at times, which Yukari outright states in an inner monologue by calling herself a 'doll.' The liberating potential of modeling becomes a prison, in the right context. When another woman -- particularly one who rejects modeling or being a man's muse and instead aims to be a designer herself -- enters George's life, Yukari feels helpless. The autonomy she gained by modeling bites back in a mocking display of her own shallow disregard for other women's agency. Indeed, she acts vile toward Kaori (the aspiring designer in question), solely because she's threatened by how George sees her as an equal. The potential of self-fulfillment comes crashing down when the implication here is that, as his muse and model, Yukari will never be his equal.

I'm going to take a second and point out how brilliant this brief love triangle is on the part of Ai Yazawa. We are so used to shoujo protagonists who are sweet, understanding, and unfailingly good. Yukari is a surprise, to say the least. She's not afraid to be mean and flaunt her beauty to intimidate her competition, and at the same time, she's not afraid to own up to her faults and wallow in self-pity when humbled. Although George is the intermediary in the love triangle, you can also see how the fashion industry itself pits women against each other. Yukari can't measure up to Kaori, the talented and mature designer with true compassion for her peers and classmates. The culture festival led Yukari to believe that she, as their model, takes center stage, but with the show over, her status as model reduces to her one of the many cogs that prop up designers' creativity and will. If God is the designer in this paradise, then Eve is just a shell of and for his designs, just as Yukari recedes to a doll when George no longer respects her. Life, it seems, is difficult for a fashion model who seeks to affirm her existence and purpose in a world that devalues such traits in the first place.

Spoilers: George and Yukari's relationship lasts only 6 months, but Yukari's relationship with fashion lasts much longer: 10 years. In the manga's epilogue, Yukari is nearing retirement, and she mentions 'plateauing' in her career as a model. Although as a teenager she aspired to be a world class super model, her work only takes her to other cities in Japan, and she is content to end less with a bang and more like a firm sense of dignity and pride at her work.

It's also no shocker that, rather than confirm her retirement, the manga ends with an announcement of her engagement and imminent marriage to her Tokumori, her high school crush and classmate. The last panels mock the sense that first loves are more powerful than the present love they experience (which is so amazing and Part 2 will be about that), and while these lighthearted panels tell us it's a joke, you can easily see how those words apply to Yukari's love affair with fashion.

Her crush and first love spur her to 10 years of a successful career. Perhaps she never realized her ambitions of modeling in the West, but she nevertheless finds and declares herself successful. This is what first love is. You might start out believing it needs to be 'happily ever after,' but you can end it and grow and realize that 'remembered ever after' is just as good, for the role it had in your life and your growth.

Yukari isn't just telling us the story of her first love with George. She's also telling us the story of how she fell in love with herself through fashion, and how her job as a model helped her live the many lives she otherwise would've never experienced if she had stayed on her mother's preplanned course.

Fashion isn't just about the clothes, the romance, or the glamorous lifestyles. Fashion is looking back and basking in being looked at. Fashion is making meaning out of how others perceive you, and fashion can be a cruel reminder that those meanings are already preordained and predetermined. Yukari doesn't necessarily fight against that. She embraces it all and learns from it.

I'm going to stop here, because I don't think an essay about ParaKiss and first love is complete without talking about George's own implied ending and Tokumori's constant presence in the beginning, middle, and end of Yukari's story. There's still so much to say, so I'll save it for Part 2. For now, let me conclude with the argument that Paradise Kiss is so unique in so many ways. It takes on the typical rhythms and beats of a shoujo manga, but it also embraces the flaws, ugliness, and messiness of love as it manifests in romance and fashion. You can't appreciate and love ParaKiss without understanding how Yazawa carefully crafts and packages a coming-of-age story into a seemingly typical love story. To use the jargon of the trade, we come into ParaKiss believing the firm and distinct boundary separating haute couture from ready-to-wear. Fashion is both, and to fall in love with it is beautiful.

[goddess47]

Movie

For @stargatefests microfic challenge day 16 - also on AO3.

And today (July 16, 2024) marks the 20th anniversary of "Rising"

----

"Movie night!" Ford said happily.

"We are out of popcorn," Teyla announced sadly. "I have never seen anything like it."

John knew Rodney had some saved for a special occasion. But he wouldn't tell.

"What are we watching?" Rodney asked.

"Star Wars?" Ford asked.

Everyone groaned. They had seen it a dozen times already.

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Alien vs Predator: An Honest Review

Be warned, this is a long and detailed review below that contains spoilers for a nearly 20 year old movie. You'll be surprised by what I say.

I literally just watched the movie. The unrated version because I thought with the added deleted scenes and attempts to make it more R rated may help it out.

I think it's well known or more recently that I'm a big Alien and Predator fan. I wanna say I'm more of a Predator fan, yet I'm still a big fan of Alien. But this also means I actually love the AVP concept. I love the video games; I love the comics. I kind of want to say the original AVP story is my "The Dark Knight Returns" or some stupid shit. And I love AVP 2 2001. To be honest, these two franchises actually fit so well with each other. That I do like seeing the Predator franchise being this "Prequel" series in a sense to the Alien series. Or just the idea they both exist in one timeline. But the movies...

I also wanna reveal something despite I likely have already revealed it before. It was because of that one film from 2004. I was basically introduced to both franchises at the same time. I feel like that may have ruined my perspective on each franchise. But that's another story. But what makes this film special is that this was the reason I'm even a fan of both. This film is the reason I'm writing this now. And it's been years since I've seen the original.

This year, Alien vs Predator will become 20 years old on August 6th. Today is the 37th anniversary for the original Predator. And thanks to two dudes on Discord for encouraging me to make this surprise review of the movie because I was thinking I shouldn't do it. I kept not wanting to watch this movie because of my developed feelings over it. I had a review kind of planned in my head. Especially for AVP Requiem and that's a review I wanted to write EVEN BEFORE I WATCHED IT AGAIN.

But you know what surprised me...despite me being more critical about this film...

I liked it. I still liked it. I wanna say I love it. But I think more so...I genuinely liked it.

But here's what I'm going to do. No, I'm not going to endlessly praise the film, nor am I going to tear it apart. I'm going to review it like any normal movie in a way. I want to list the negatives first. Because this is what I want to get out of the way and be clear about. The stuff that bothers me.

Here's the major thing, and it's not really the writing of the characters, the story, or whatever else...it's the time the movie is set in.

Also, I want to make it clear. For the problems the two AVP movies have, I blame 20th Century Fox for not giving these films higher budgets and whatever else. I'm also blaming John Davis or wanting to set these films on modern Earth. Because while I do agree with people there are problems with Paul W.S. Anderson as a director. Even though I praise the fact he doesn't give a fuck about what critics think. I genuinely believe this dude tried his best with this film, and like what he said. He wanted to respect more franchises. Even though I will always remember the special features that he seemed like he was a bigger Alien fan than Predator. He truly liked both.

I still believe him setting the movie in Antarctica, one of the most remote or isolated places on the planet is actually genius. He knew what he was doing. This also goes into something I like about the movie with its setting. But I'm talking about the time period. And why I still have a problem with this movie, even if I like the fact Anderson understood why it had to be set there. I also think it's really neat Dan O'Bannon and Ronald Shusett were involved with the story. The guys behind the story of the original Alien. Even though the screenplay is still by Anderson.

But again...there's still a problem. And this is related with the Alien franchise and what was one of the major things in that series. Even in the first movie and adding the later movies. One of the major things Ripley and others were trying to do was to keep the Alien away from Earth. Because the idea of even one of those creatures got on Earth, so much horrible shit would happen. You have comics like the "Earth War" that really delve into that and it's a major theme with those Alien movies. Hell, even the ending of Alien 3 includes that powerful moment of Ripley sacrificing herself to make sure the chestburster inside of her is never taken by Weyland Yutani. That's still a pretty powerful send off to her character, even with how I feel about Alien 3.

So, by setting this story on Earth in 2004. Which is 118 years I think before the events of Alien...it still feels like a middle finger to that series. I also feel like it just diminishes the powerful effect of the Nostromo finding the Derelict Ship on LV-426. And it's feels...horrifically ironic that Lex's words about, "Everything everybody will die." feels completely like or...not ignored or...it's still amazes how this film later on is all about making sure the Aliens don't get to the surface...but the next film IMMEDIATELY A DAY OR MAYBE HOURS OR MINUTES...the town of Gunnison, Colorado is fucked. I think again, a middle finger to well...fuck...just...let's move on.

Yeah, I still feel like this film should've taken place after Aliens or Alien 3. I have already written a reblog about what I would've changed for the film. But back to the point. That's my biggest problem with this movie.

My other issue with this film is well, the characters. Yet to be honest, I didn't really hate any of them. The characters in the film were actually pretty decent. But the problem is along with the film itself is that they aren't really I guess that interesting. Or what I wanted to say, they're all more like NPC's you meet in a video game. Sure, I actually got a few laughs out of the movie from Ewen Bremner's character Miller. No one is annoying and everyone does their part. But there isn't really a lot of huge character development. I don't think there's a specific theme to the movie except maybe like, "What do you want to be remembered for after you die?" but still, it doesn't feel like that. Yet that seems to be the major theme of the movie.

Back to the characters. None of them are annoying. The problem is while they're decent. They are sadly pretty much canon fodder and while Stafford's death is pretty horrific along with others. You don't really care for these characters. The most developed character is Alexa Woods. Yet I question if it's really character development. But she's a fine character. Again, I didn't hate anyone. But they're all pretty much basic characters you feel like you'll meet in a video game or something. Or even...I guess cartoon characters. But even then, they don't feel like that. They don't hold up much to the likes of the Nostromo crew or the Marines in Aliens, or even Dutch and his team. Or Hell, even Naru from Prey and any other characters from some of the other movies.

I'll also admit this, I'm not too big on the idea of "Predators teaching humans to build pyramids" and making humans part of the well, the rituals and shit. But I just want to get back to writing about the positives. I felt there was no need to just...add that or whatever. But you would have to change the story in a way.

There's also the fact that even when watching the unrated version. The movie still feels PG-13. And that's a major issue. The film is technically inoffensive in a way. I mean, it can get tense maybe for a younger viewer or someone new to either franchise. But again, even with the added CGI blood in the unrated version, it still feels pretty tame. I kind of want to say this movie may feel like one of those TV movies you may see for a show or a cartoon and it's more tense. But that sounds so stupid. Even then, those kinds of movies are really good when they are well made by the people behind them.. It's just the fact when you hold this movie up to the likes of Alien, Aliens, Predator, Prey, and some others. You see where the problems are. In a way, I wanna say it almost feels like one of those video game movie adaptations that aren't the most well made. And it's amusing to say that because Anderson is very well known for his Resident Evil movies, and he also made that Monster Hunter movie.

Also, the other thing...the design of the Aliens. I don't like the fact with the film's lower budget, they basically took the designs from Alien Resurrection and just painted them black. Considering this is meant to be before the original Alien. I wish they somehow were able to make the Aliens were more biomechanical, similar to the likes of Big Chap from the original movie. I'm one of those fans that really holds HR Giger's design for the Alien in high regard. And as the years went on, while there are some designs I like. They just haven't been the best. Also, I hate the fact like with later movies, the life cycle just seems to be REALLY fast. They could've fixed the problem that maybe some Aliens were frozen already. But still, the fact this all happens IN A DAY. And the Aliens seems to grow within minutes possibly. I don't know if we get how many hours the characters are in the temple.

Alright, I think I got most of my negatives out of the way. But the last thing I'll say is the movie feels too short...or that's just me. I think I get what someone on Twitter said. Maybe an AVP movie is difficult with the time length. But I don't think a two parter should be needed. Maybe make it longer, even 3 hours.

But alright...time to the positives and well...yeah...

Again, the characters were pretty decent. I stand by that. I again, don't really hate anyone. I also shouldn't forget there was this possible theme of, "Corporations not looking out for the people" was kind of in here. But that's more so Weyland wanting to pretty much rush shit to get into the temple before other people do. But again, the characters were fine, everyone does their part.

And to be honest with you all. The setting and premise of the movie is actually perfect. My problem again is more so the timeline. If you had set this story on a colonized planet that's maybe similar to Earth, or it's an ice related one. I think it would've worked out fine. The whole idea with the pyramid changing every time, the blooding ritual for the Predators, and taking all of that. It's actually perfect. It can be scary; it can be suspenseful. But the film isn't really that. But again, the premise is actually fucking perfect. Especially pyramids/temples in this series aren't a new thing. We had a little bit of it in the 1999 AVP game and even AVP 2010 used it too in its own way.

I still like the idea of the Predators praising the Aliens as the ultimate prey. Or well, one of their favorite prey. And honestly, I legit feel like in this movie, instead of "Serpents", couldn't they have called them "Star Beasts"? I legit feel like that classic name for the original Alien screenplay is so raw, that needs to be an official name for the Alien again.

And you know what I really love? I love the fact from what we see in this movie, the Aliens are pretty damn smart. More so, Grid using his cut off tail to hit Celtic with acid blood, he hides away when Celtic is busy taking off the armor. Or the queen allowing her offspring to injure her to free her from her imprisonment. Even though, I don't think there are more moments. But I actually appreciate that the Aliens are treated as canon fodder. Granted, the humans were more so scientists/explorers. But we have merceries, yet we don't see any of them mowing them down. Granted, I also feel like compared to a Pulse Rifle which I recall has legit EXPLOSIVE ROUNDS. A mere submachine gun or even a regular M4A1 isn't going to kill a regular Alien. And...well, AVP Requiem decided to do things differently.

I will admit, the idea of AVP in modern day intrigues me. But it's pretty much wrong with concerning the Alien timeline. And while I love Aliens, and that movie treats the Aliens still like a threat, even if they can be killed. Big Chap got killed in the original Alien. I just know there are people who genuinely dislike the additions Aliens made even though the film still treated them like a threat. Even this film, the Aliens felt like they were taken seriously. Just like the Predators.

(But seriously, I'm getting tired of the Aliens slander. Big Chap got fucking stabbed with a harpoon gun.)

I actually don't mind the designs of the Predators. My biggest issues are more so the faces. They look less real and convincing and more like a mask. And there's the whole thing with the mandibles. But the more "Heroic" design or well, I want to call it more "Noble" looking armor. Overtime, I started to like it. Granted, I'm more of a fan of the designs of Diablo, Ghost and other Predators from the first two Predator movies. And I felt like Wolf outdoes the designs for the Predators in this film. Yet there's also the fact the more armored look is based upon the designs from the original AVP comic. I like that.

And I like Scar. Even though compared to the original AVP story this movie uses elements of. Scar isn't really a bad character or whatever. And I still genuinely like that development of Scar and Lex teaming up. It's actually done pretty well with not so much words, and more so actions. And to be honest about the people who...REALLY did not like this scene...

I think what makes the scene still work and let me compare the original comic. I think the original comic still works so much better because Dachande/Broken Tusk, compare to his Youngbloods he was going to lead on their ritual. He has never killed a human, and there's actually a build up to him being more of this "Heroic" figure. More so, the fact he's injured, he's captured by humans, but he's cared for by them, more so Miriam. And when Tichinde (An arrogant Bad Blood who assumed leadership of the Youngbloods after they assume Dachande had died) attempts to kill her, he saves her life and helps the humans. The development feels more natural.

Before seeing this movie again. I thought I understood criticisms from people because Scar did kill some of the mercenaries, and he kills Weyland. Like, the idea that Lex after all of that tries to team up with a creature that killed some human beings who may have had families. But she wasn't close with any of those people. Granted, that still sucks, and the way Scar acts is more so he doesn't want to team up with her. Until he gets the idea and well, she earns his respect. The development feels more like it's still treating Scar that he's still dangerous. But he's willing to side with a human that gains his respect. Treating him like an anti-hero, and less of a hero than Dachande.

I just want to say while I totally get the idea that there are fans who hate or don't like the expanded material with Yautja. They don't like the "Space Samurai" I get that. I do think there needs to be a balance. But people like LittleJimmy835 and others treat these films like tumors and just seem to want the Predators to remain well...really sick bastards. Granted, they are, but I like the idea of the species being "Chaotic Neutral". And what they did with Scar is actually pretty fine. Besides, from what I've read in expanded material, most of the species is xenophobic against humans. They're nearly all barbaric. The only really "Heroic" ones I've seen are Dachande, Scarface, (The dude mainly killed a giant criminal empire; he pretty much did the city a favor despite his failures at the start of Concrete Jungle), and the Alpha Predator as well, there are very few "Heroic" Predators. Most are gray or just evil...I need to read about "Big Mama" and how she's like.

Also, Harald Kloser did a pretty fine job with the score.

You know, I just want to complete this. And I think without adding some unnecessary crap I want to talk about. I think said everything I wanted to talk about. But yeah...I liked it. Even though to this day and I still believe the AVP films are better off as their own films and if there is ever another AVP film. I want it to be a reboot if it's going to be connected to the films again. I want something akin to AVP 2 2001. But that's a whole other story.

In a nutshell, 5/10.

Edit update, I want to share my reblog where I talked about what I would've changed about the movie. Where it still keeps the characters of Lex, Scar and Weyland in it. https://www.tumblr.com/geekgemsspooksandtoons/750585975858741248/sorry-this-took-a-while-to-respond-too-but-i?source=share

[1863-project]

NJ Transit 40th Anniversary Weekend Extravaganza!

Pay your engineers and give them a contract.

Okay, now that that's out of the way...

This weekend I got to spend some time with my dad aboard NJT's 40th Anniversary Express, a special train they put together in conjunction with the United Railroad Historical Society of New Jersey to commemorate 40 years of NJT's rail service. Normally I'd have just been content to watch, but they hooked me with a GG1 reference so naturally I had to go because I will do anything for a GG1.

The URHS of NJ loaned the Hickory Creek out for the event, along with a few other passenger cars they own. It was weird to see it at Penn Station instead of in Grand Central Terminal, but they still rolled out the red carpet for it as if it was attached to the 20th Century Limited. (This is where we get the phrase "red carpet treatment" from, by the way. It has nothing to do with Hollywood and everything to do with one crack passenger express train.)

I did not ride in the Hickory Creek itself because I do not have that sort of money, but Dad and I were in the Tavern Lounge No. 43, another New York Central car. It was a lovely ride.

The highlight of the trip was in South Amboy. Historically, electrification of the North Jersey Coast Line ended here. Today, it ends in Long Branch. Here's where the GG1s come in. There would be an engine change at South Amboy. The GG1s, electric locomotives, would be switched out for other locomotives to go further south. It was steam at first, and sadly became diesel later. Yesterday, they recreated this engine switch for us, complete with an NJT heritage unit painted to look like a GG1. This is the closest I'll likely get to seeing one running within my lifetime, so I'll cherish it.

The engine change. NJT 4636 stood in for my beloved GG1s, and two of the first locomotives built for NJ Transit, a pair of F40-PH2s (4119 and 4120), took over. You rarely see the latter in passenger service these days because they usually pull work trains, but they're the last two members of their class in NJT service.

Much to everyone's delight, we got to watch some brakeman work in action, because they manually flipped the switches. Note the heavy-duty gloves the conductor is wearing for this purpose.

It takes quite a bit of setup...

All clear!

Once the locomotives were swapped, we all boarded again and went on down to Bay Head. Since it was cold and rainy out, a few of us had some hot chocolate, which hit the spot and was incredibly wonderful.

Eventually, we made it to Bay Head. This is how I found out the president of NJ Transit was on the train with us, because the NJT engineers are ready to strike because there's no contract right now, and a group of them were protesting down at Bay Head because they knew he'd have to see them. Excellent move.

At Bay Head, we got to go around the loop in Bay Head Yard, something passengers don't normally get to do.

So we had views that most people don't get to have, and that was really cool.

At Bay Head, they fed us and gave us NJT swag. There were also some vintage buses from Public Service there, which was great because nobody stopped me from getting into the driver's seat of them.

My right hand is on the gearshift in this photo - it was huge and came out of the floor. Neither bus had power steering - that's a relatively new feature in motor vehicles.

I can and will attempt to drive anything.

Back to trains - after lunch, everyone got back aboard and the 40th Anniversary Express made its way back up north to Newark Penn Station. Whilst we were at Newark, we were allowed to get out and take some photos, so I investigated the staff car and was delighted to see that it had a conference table with a PRR K4 pictured above it.

You know me, I love my 4-6-2 Pacifics.

Eventually, the train came into Hoboken Terminal, and that was the end of day one.

Today, the entire heritage fleet was on display at Hoboken Terminal, so I made my way back for more photos.

I love GG1s and wanted to thank my new friend for giving me the opportunity to come so close to that experience yesterday.

4101 and 4109 are the surviving sisters of NJT 4100, a locomotive I'm rather attached to. It was nice to get good photos of them instead of the ones I usually have to snap through the window when I'm actually out on the rails!

Erie-Lackawanna 3372 is a labor of love for the URHS of NJ. They've done a beautiful job restoring her so far, but there's still a lot of work left to do.

The thing that really did me in was this old Pennsy diesel here, an E8A numbered 5711. She's in incredible condition for something built in 1952, and they had a cast of an old Penn Station eagle next to her, too, just to break my heart into a million pieces because I'll never be over what happened to Penn Station.

In all, I had an amazing weekend, and NJT and the URHS of NJ knocked it out of the park with this. It was just wonderful to be surrounded by other railfans for a couple of days.

Some other highlights:

Talked about trains the entire ride with the folks in our car. At one point we all got to sharing cat photos. An older couple had a cat named Lake, short for Lake Shore Limited. I cannot tell you how much that delighted me.

I love being around other railfans. It's one of the rare places I can be myself, since there's inevitably going to be a lot of other autistic people there besides me so I don't have to mask. I cannot even begin to articulate what it means to me to be in a place where I don't have to mask.

The hobby has actually changed a lot since I was a little kid - and in a good way. I wasn't the only woman there, for one. I was still greatly outnumbered gender-wise, but there are a lot more women in the hobby now, and it's also a lot more racially diverse than it was back then. Additionally, I saw a LOT of young people - it's going strong! It doesn't feel like it's being gatekept by the old white men anymore. It's really wonderful. Trains are for everyone. They always were, but now you can visibly see it.

When we were on the platform at South Amboy getting set up to take photos, someone yelled "Everybody smile!" behind me and I nearly died. Because, you know:

Whoever you are, give me your phone number.

As a final addendum, of course I brought them with me, as per usual when I go out to do railroading stuff. Here they are seated in Tavern Lounge 43!

This was just an absolute banger of a weekend and I hope more events like this happen because it's so fun to engage with history hands-on and see other people who care about it as much as you do. It's the best! Perfect!

[likeadaydreamorafever]

Mischa Barton: ‘The trauma doesn’t just go away overnight’

The OC made her one of the most famous stars of the Noughties. Now 37, and with a new role in Neighbours, she’s back — and this time it’s on her own terms.

There was a time, not so long ago — the Noughties — when we hunted young women until they went mad. A pack of men with cameras followed them, stalked them, waited outside their homes to take their photograph, so that people could devour their lives and their changing teenage bodies, and watch their rising panic as they cracked under the pressure we were putting them under.

“It was all very Hunger Games,” says Mischa Barton, 37, sitting in a hotel room in central London, hair blow-dried, coffee poured, legs crossed. The British-American actress was 17 when she was cast in the teenage TV drama The OC, catapulting her to worldwide fame and making her Karl Lagerfeld’s “face of a generation” — an It girl in an era of size-zero bodies, up-skirt shots and gossip blogs.

Barton was — reluctantly — a paparazzi favourite. She was beautiful, cool and sceney, with a trail of rock star boyfriends and wild child friends. She suffered as a consequence of rather than in spite of the fame. She was arrested for drink driving, spent time in rehab and was detained in a psychiatric hospital. In 2017 a video of her, incoherent, rambling and distressed, was sold to the gossip site TMZ, peddled as proof of her going off the rails. Her drink had actually been spiked with a date rape drug. That same year an ex-boyfriend tried to sell a video — filmed without her knowledge — of her having sex and being naked in her own home.

“You can go to therapy every day for the rest of your life,” she says, “but there’s just a certain amount of trauma [from] all that I went through, particularly in my early twenties, that just doesn’t go away overnight.”

Today her life is a little quieter — the paparazzi don’t yet know where her new home is in Los Angeles (though the sound of cameras can trigger a panic attack, part of her enduring post-traumatic stress disorder). The OC is coming up to its 20th anniversary, with a new generation of Gen Z fans going wild for the Y2K vibe. She has had a stint on Dancing with the Stars and the reality TV show The Hills: New Beginnings, as well as parts in horror films, indie films and now the resurrected teatime soap Neighbours.

Barton was, and still is, a valuable commodity. “They first wanted me to do an arc on Neighbours when I was in my twenties,” she says, dressed smartly in a blazer, A-line dress and preppy jacquard pumps. I’ve just finished watching the new season, I tell her. “Oh wow,” she says in her mid-Atlantic drawl, “have you actually been watching it?” Sure, I continue, it was nostalgic. “Oh wow,” she says again, flatly. “Yeah. I haven’t seen any of it.” Barton still has the cool-girl energy that drew so many people in: arch, a little judgmental, but fun. She is the popular girl at the party.

The “final” episode of Neighbours was broadcast on Channel 5 last July, after 37 years and 8,903 episodes featuring alumni including Kylie Minogue, Jason Donovan and Margot Robbie. A group of heartbroken fans campaigned for its return and four months later Amazon Prime signed a deal with the production company. The reboot features old favourites Susan, Carl and Harold, as well Barton’s new character, Reece Sinclair, the expensively dressed American hotel proprietor who is having an affair with the bellboy.

Barton spent two months filming in Melbourne, cramming lines for 5am call times. “They work crazy hard [on soaps],” she says. “Really, it was gruelling. You’re lucky to get a second take.” She did, however, rewrite some of her script. “They don’t let everybody change their lines” — she lowers her voice — “trust me. The other kids were like, oh, can I do that? And [the writers] were like, no.” She cackles. “Say your lines as scripted!”

The actress will always be known for The OC, in which she played Marissa Cooper, a rich, blonde Californian who was troubled and glamorous — and who every teenage girl was desperate to be. The first series, which aired in 2003, pulled in an average of 9.7 million viewers per episode in America and was a hit on Channel 4, and she won two Teen Choice awards.

“I don’t think I was fully prepared for that level of fame,” she says. “Because it has never been something that I have sought out. I really would much rather be anonymous.”

Still a teenager, Barton was lauded for her looks and treated, she says, as much older than her years. “You do look back and you were 18 dating 34-year-olds,” she continues. “With hindsight you’re like, yeah, that was weird.” An interview with Harpers & Queen has recently resurfaced in which Barton, 19 at the time, says she was told by her publicist to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio, who was 30, “for the sake of your career”.

She left The OC after three series — she says she was bullied on set and exhausted by 18-hour days for each 24-episode series — asking the writers to kill off Marissa as brutally as they could. She died lying in the road, dripping in fake blood, her crashed car up in flames.

In the following years Barton became a familiar face on the LA nightlife scene, all smoky eyeliner and faded band T-shirts, photographed with Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse, while dating the Kooks’ frontman Luke Pritchard, the American rocker Cisco Adler and the Roughs’ guitarist Taylor Locke. “I definitely got to tour with some cool bands,” she says, still a little thrilled by the whole thing. “I mean, I was obsessed. But I don’t know if I could date a guy in a band any more. It just sounds exhausting and dirty.” The paparazzi attention was certainly not “healthy” for romantic relationships. “Everything is just so heightened,” she says. “You depend on the person so much more, you think you’re that much more in love because they’re your grip on some sort of normalcy.”

In the gossip blogs she was considered fair game. She was criticised for losing a stone in a year, then criticised for being “bloated Barton”, with the celebrity blogger Perez Hilton often the leader of the pack. “Nothing I did was good enough,” she says today. “It was the peak of cruelty about young women’s bodies. It was wild.”

Could she leave the house without being followed by photographers? “No,” she says immediately. “I couldn’t. [The paparazzi] were doing all kinds of crazy stuff to me.” She says they tracked her car, tried to climb over the walls of her house, paid off restaurants and bought mobile phones for homeless people so they could tip them off. “I was stalked,” she says. “I did go a little bit nuts at [one] point. I just felt really helpless.”

Then there was an arrest (2007, driving under the influence, without a valid licence and possessing cannabis), rehab (court ordered) and psychiatric hospital. She said she was “depressed and overworked”, and then, she claims, pumped full of prescription drugs by her “team” to keep her working. People have got kinder about mental health, though, she says. “That’s one of the better things about society these days — people are more willing to talk about having had depression or anxiety, or it’s not so taboo.”

But it was her legal battle against her ex-boyfriend that was “one of the worst and most gruelling experiences of my life”, she says. In 2017 Jon Zacharias tried to auction off illicit videos of her to the internet’s highest bidder.

After a years-long legal battle she won the case to prevent him from doing so. “It’s shocking to realise that there is that type of darkness in the world,” she says. “And you wonder what you’ve done to attract it.”

Mischa Anne Barton was born in Hammersmith in west London, the middle of three girls, her mother a producer and photographer, her father a foreign exchange broker. She went to St Paul’s Girls’ Preparatory School before the family moved to New York when Barton was six.

She was a bookish, shy child who found respite in acting. She had her first modelling job at eight and her first professional stage role the same year. By 11 she was in Italian Vogue. By 13 she was the lead in the movie Lawn Dogs, which had dark undertones of child molestation, followed by Pups, a crime drama. “Even from a young age I was sexualised,” she wrote in Harper’s Bazaar in 2021.

After her big break in The OC she starred as the “hot girl” in various music videos (Noel Gallagher, James Blunt, Enrique Iglesias) and became the face of Chanel, Calvin Klein, Monsoon Accessorise, Neutrogena, Herbal Essences and Keds.

“I was definitely told ‘sign here’ many, many times over,” she says. “I’ve gotten a lot better with legalese. Now I will read a contract front to back.”

Do people think she made more money than she has? “Oh, I know they do.” Today you can watch The OC on Amazon Prime, Hulu and ITV. “But I say to my friends, ‘Oh cool, I just got a direct deposit for $1.50.’ And they’re like, ‘What’s that?’ And I’m like, ‘Residuals.’ ”

She pushed herself into indie films and cerebral plays, which she loved, and then appeared on the rebooted reality show The Hills, which “wasn’t for me”, she says. “It’s the fame-chasing and the posing stuff that I don’t like. I found them to be very alieny.” She says the producers tried to make out that the original cast of The Hills had hung out with the cast of The OC in the Noughties, “but that was not the case. I never saw them around. I mean, it was a completely different world, a different type of celebrity.” She looks up from pouring herself another coffee. “You know what I mean.”

Today Barton lives between New York and LA. She is steady and grown-up, but still with a streak of flightiness. Her spontaneity “is a problem”, she says. She travelled around Indonesia alone over the summer, then France, then the UK, where she has been staying with her older sister, a barrister, in Kensington.

“I’m happy being single at the moment,” she says. “Because it comes up, the whole thing of ‘Do you wanna settle down and have kids?’ I am a weirdly traditional, conventional person when it comes to stuff like that, more so than people think. But it really depends on the person you’re with.”

In the past few years there has certainly been a collective reckoning regarding our behaviour towards young, famous women of that era. But does that regret mean anything to the women who suffered through it?

Recently the FBI knocked on Barton’s door, saying they were “working on a case” and wanted to play her a series of tapes. She listened to her conversations with people from years ago, which were recorded covertly. “Who knows who was doing it?” she says. “But I was almost grateful to know that they [the FBI] were going to such lengths, otherwise you feel crazy and paranoid.”

She has also had direct apologies. In 2019 Perez Hilton told her, on The Hills: “If I could go back in time and do things differently, I would.” Barton was largely unmoved. “This bullying you did for so long to so many young girls, I find it hard to let go,” she replied. “I can’t really accept the apology entirely.”

I bring up Hilton today and she rolls her eyes. “I don’t listen to anything he says because he’s so crazy,” she says. “You can see how sorry people feel for what they did to people like Britney [Spears] then. Everyone now is like, ‘I can’t believe we did that to those poor women.’” She pauses. “People feel so entitled to you and your body and your image. It’s a strange feeling. It’s strange.”

Video included in the article: