#I had this image in my head for too long
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New story posts will go up on Tuesdays and Thursdays. One of my 2024 Simblr resolutions was to have a consistent posting schedule. We'll see if it works out...
Thanks to @samssims for the amazing pose. It can be found here.
P.S. Some weeks there may be more than two posts a week, have a small collection of extras that I want to share. These posts will have no constant schedule it will just be whenever I feel like it.
#woods legacy#rose volkov-woods#lydia bauer#darius al fazari#gen 2#this pose has been sitting on my computer for longer than I care to admit#I had this image in my head for too long#I am glad I now have an excuse share it#Im back baby#if you don't like it why are you reading this#if you have suggestions of a punny tag for the extra non story posts let me know
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i guess i had to make with the kimchuck, coward
#hey cptkitten when i got this fucking ko-fi notif a month ago i almost fell out of my chair laughing how dare you be this funny HDGFHJD#im too embarrassed to tag this with the main tags this will find its audience or whatever LMAO#evil sudoku kim ull always be famous#now i know i made a poll long ago asking if i should make it domestic or charged and charged won (staring at all of u who voted that)#however this image was so vivid my head i had to put it on (digital) paper pftt#BUT for a measly 10 dollars i will once again draw sincere charged kimchuck fa#<- GTRET78DJHDGFHHJ#sunnysidedisco#sunnysidemeshi#sunnysidedoodles
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Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
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They had a good day.
Connor has big brother energy for everyone... though Alice is uh, technically older than him... right?
#Connor#connor dbh#alice dbh#detroit become human#kara dbh#luther dbh#luthara#dbh#tw crime scene#this one took me way too long but i had the ice cream image in my head and it had to be done#i want alice to just scream at the suspect in a fit of passion like connor#she thinks connor is the coolest#and now she wants to be a detective#kara is gonna have a heart attack when they get back#but just look at the little tie#they're matching#shoot i forgot luther's light thing in the second image#be cool#comic
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litany of the martyrs (click for better resolution!)
#at some point i wanted to make an illustration for each character but in retrospect maybe each is multiple song-coded..#drew the sketch for a quincy thing after a chat with a mutual reminded me this song existed dfsghjkl and then spent weeks rendering this#quincy cynthius martin#adamandi#i'm finally done with this! the saints especially were joys to paint and the halo a menace.... this has been the most ambitious one so far.#but it also took quite long because i only worked on it <engages with quincy> when mentally okay to deal with the themes. i'm not religious#but i do identify with the irrational(?ish) guilt + family legacy + academic achievement + disregard for self. also more complex thoughts#about love [but depsite quincent being a large part of quincy's character this piece deals with mostly the Rest of it. so another time..]#anyways! in the original sketch- the saints had heads bent towards quincy so the halo spikes pointed at him. but this worked better! halos#of the saints implying/creating one for quincy was a concept from the start though. in the show they don't touch him directly here but#differences in mediums i think- i don't have time in an image to craft a narrative so everything has to be happening. also artistic liberty#misc inspiration for this includes stained glass windows. i might have maybe misinterpreted the saint costume but i think i logic-ed it out#as the cloth part following a nun's habit w the hood. and then halo above. the material is also more transparent originally but i had. um.#too much fun painting fabric folds.. if you look closely you can see the basis of faces though behind the cloth; but only the vague shapes#because smth obscurity + inhumanness// cassian is the only one i gave a mouth though. that stems from melliot's post about the saints and#st cassian as spokesperson (<- did research teehee!) that's also how i found out which costume = which saint. speaking of which.#left to right: 'st lucy take my hand' // 'st lawrence give me strength' (presses quincy forward; but hand on shoulder connotates guidance)#/'st cassian help me smile' (quincy's mouth is btwn a grimace and a smile; tilts up at side. also no direct touch bc added insidiousness.)#//'st jude [...] i hope your causes burn' (jude's hand is in two places to show movement- nearing the flame and then snatching back; burnt)#other notes: at the midst of the flame the core is shaped like a human heart /the saints and their wax are all melting like the candle for#fun visual effect and also this way they are even less tangible <real>. perks of painting as a medium i guess. // also insp from icarus?#wax and burning imagery; looking at the halo and rays as parallel to sun that burns. too close to the sun; melting; hurting; hurtling //#candles at bottom are a nod to the frankly gorgeous set// also the entire composition kind of stems from the lyric <what use is a candle if#both ends aren't burning>; the two sides between the concepts of catholic guilt and academic perfection that spur quincy#the halo above (saints and guilt; litanyofthemartyrs) and the 'halo' below (academic papers; insp from choreo for perfect at school)#the papers were originally supposed to be more glowy. but i like the idea of it now being a reflection of how quincy's priorities shift#also of note is that <candle> in centre = quincy; w burning candle + aforementioned heart in flame -> most human; idea of love + passion#last thoughts: kneeling + hands close tgt = prayer //wax dripping onto the red As make an effect that looks like blood. because i like#hiding that within the adamandi pieces :OO continuity!! // i've run out of tags but yeah! had fun with this one! every so often i go a#little insane in making art and the final result astounds even me. ngl i'm quite proud of this one. pretty colours <3333
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I TAPPED YOUR ASK BUTTON AND AN O'REILLY AD STARTED PLAYING EVERY THO I HAD NOTHING ON????
Okay anyways sorry for being such a frequent asker on the Jedtavius front but do you think Octavius and Jedediah swap folklore/mythology stories?
Like Octavius telling Jed about Apollo and Hyacinthus or Achilles's battle and Jed rambles on about jackalopes?
Cause I do
What a nice idea actually (also don't apologize, it's fine I don't mind)
My attempt at jackalopes and Hyacinthus and Apollo
I couldn't find a way to fit these all together as one big drawing so I took separate photos
#I tried to see what 'O'reilly' was (on YouTube instead of Google so I'd see the ad) and the results were like usa politics related#I had to add 'ad' at the end to find the actual ad. weird#the colors are different because I don't have most of my markers with me so I used whatever my sister had#this took too long to draw because I got so mad while searching 'jackalopes' on Google I had to stop#there were ai images. on my search. ai. brotha ewwwwwww#disgusting.#ask#not anon#night at the museum#natm#natm jedediah#natm octavius#gaius octavius#octavius#jedediah#jedediah smith#jedediah and octavius#jedtavius#art#fanart#traditional art#hyacinthus#apollo#jackalope#I might post that apollo/Hyacinthus drawing separately too. thoughts?#also is roman 'history'/myths just greek myths? I'm too lazy to search it up but I know they have the same gods but with different names#me breaking my head trying to figure out what their greek names are (it helps me connect them to stuff I actually know)
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ANGELA/SERA FROM THE MARVEL SNAP HERO ANIMATIC
#eep babies first gif#definitely... could be better#i ended up having a lot of issues doing it the way i wanted to in my head and so. had to work around it the only ways i could figure#and also making tumblrs size & dimension limits was. harder than i thought! kinda. compressed to hell#idk. i think i can do better but this is what i ended up with#also i know this has been giffed already but i thought messing w animation was a bit easier than irl images#low stakes also bc none of my friends care about this either#nyxtalks#angela#angela odinsdottir#sera#sera of heven#serangela#angelsera#angela x sera#marvel#marvel snap#gif#one of the things i was having issues was was framerate? like i could not get it to cooperate at all#i couldnt figure how to make it faster as i saved it and then when i tried to edit it in post speeding it up even 1% made it way too fast?#but it was stuttery without change. so im gonna have to mess around more with that#idk! still much to mess with#will be a long time before the GB edit happens at this rate lol#i think maybe im somewhat getting the hang of the bare basics though#if you read this far friends i love uuuuuu#i assume only my dear mutuals would actually read the tags#sorry for there being so many. i had commentary
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oh my god????? 👀
Swiss was in his bunk on the bus, curtain drawn, enclosing him in the small space. He was led on his back, hands tightly tied above his head with thick rope. He’s tied them a little too tight, his hands had gone a little tingly, but the way the rope dug into his arms and rubbed at the sensitive skin only made his cock twitch against his belly more. He was desperately trying to be quiet, so no one else on the bus would hear, so they wouldn’t know what he was doing, but the Vibrating plug he had in his ass was making it difficult, little whimpers and whines leaving his lips. His hips moved on their own accord, grinding down onto the soft mattress, pushing the plug further into him sending little sparks of pleasure though his body, making his hips jump even more. He desperately tugged at the rope, desperate to touch himself, but the rope just tightened around his arms, like a reminder it was there, of what he’d done to himself. A desperate whine catches high in his throat as the pressure in his belly builds, making him tug at the restraints once again- I got carried away I’m so sorry
#I’ve had this image of Swiss in my head for so long now#It won’t leave#Not that I want it too#swiss ghoul#the band ghost
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banging my head against the wall. does anyone wanna go insane and read TMNT Mirage #37 with me? An emotionally fraught jouney of faith and family and battling for or against your roots of eons past? You should. But if your not in for reading a 40 page comic I have a condensed visual/textual moments and summation for you! You might enjoy it!
[Mirage 37, Rick McCollum and Bill Anderson]
ID: Turtles walking through a forest with full camping bags. Mikey has his mask around his neck and wears a bucket hat: Well..." Raph wears a wide brimmed fedora type hat, he balances one sai by its point on his finger: "You do got a point, buddy." Leo is shadowed in the back with a straw hat. END
[In this comic the turtles are depicted with understated beaks and look lankier than Classic Mirage style. Their skin is usually in the darker of the 2 toners, and their masks are left without toner.]
ID: From behind the group, Don and Mikey in silhouette up front. Behind them, Raph is throwing his sai in the air. Leo is saying "I believe you Don, but... Spiritual meaning? Maybe you're reading too much into it." Close on Don's face, frowning "No, I'm not." END.
[See Donatello: The Ring, in Turtle Soup #2] Here's what you missed: Don went on a spiritual journey by himself. Now he wants them all to experience it.
ID: Three turtles and Splinter in the farm house living room. Raph and Mikey on the couch with books, Leo on the floor polishing his sword. Splinter standing to the side. Raph: Yeah, but Casey's car's on the blink. Mike: I hope its doesn't fall apart while he's out with April. Leo: Don will fix it when he returns. Raph has one leg up, is tossing some shuriken in one hand, his books says "Fun with sai". Mike slouches and has a drink can, his book is "Life of Bruce Lee" END
ID: Three Panels of Don explaining his experience in front of a large fire, fiddling with his bo staff, the flames curl around him as he speaks. A brow raised: But it wasn't the trees- It was one of us! The Father of All Reptiles Looking contemplative: He was a turtle. Or a ghost. Some kind of spirit... With a sheepish smile: And I'm glad I met him. He said I was special... END
Splinter reprimands the other turtles for not taking Don seriously. His lecture:
"Your lack of respect is unbecoming. Have I so failed you that you have no feel for your heritage, your roots? Reptiles ruled this world for uncounted eons, your people strode the land, slipped through the warm seas, and skittered about the sky. Though gone, their blood is your blood. And their spirit should be yours! They are your elders, with their bones left in the rock, lasting forever in the skin of the world. Respect them, and honor their spirits as you do me!" "Recall the time you spent, eons past, with your friend Renet. How you spoke of it once you'd returned! Did you not feel a sense of unity with that time? Did you not resonate to the heart-beat of the archosaurs? Your enthusiasm lingered for weeks."
[See Tales of TMNT 7] They went back in time and met dinosaurs, amongst other things.
ID: Panels with a close up on each character. April in profile, with a solemn look: You babbled on about it for days. Mike smiling wide: Yeah! It was warm! Leo, clutching his sword, looking away: I felt so free! Raph, his mask pushed up to his forehead, an eyes closed smile: Three months of fishing! Don, holding his staff, looking down: Yes, I was... Happy. END
Splinter continues to speak.
"Happiness…Ah, Donatello, it is so ephemeral. As was the time of those reptiles. Everything is a ring, and the ring turns. The world grew cold, small, furry creatures came out of the shadows. The dinosaurs died. The age of mammals began."
Raph, upset, gets disparaging about what the predominance of mammals has done to the earth.
ID: Three panels. Raph, shocked, hand over his mouth: I can't believe I said that. Splinter looming over Raph, who jerks back. Splinter: ~Think~ before~ you~ speak~ Raphael! Raph: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Splinter: Need I remind you that your best friend Casey Jones is a mammal? Close on Raph and April. Splinter off panel: Not to mention myself? Raph: Eep! April grimacing: I'm feeling warm-blooded and hairy also! END
ID: Four panels. Caption box: And look they do— Raph looking at two trees growing diagonally, thinking: I don't even know what I'm looking for. Leo, partially hidden behind foliage, thinking: Something's up. I feel... something. Mike, looking at a tree that's grown a loop in its trunk, thinking: Is this a "spiritual experience?" Don, walking through the trees in silhouette thinking: Why can't I find the place?" END
After a day of searching, they camp, but Mike goes missing during his watch in the night.
ID: Two panels, each showing Raph and Don and they face off and argue, their speech bubbles placed between them. Raph is backed up against a tree, angry, clenching his sais tightly. Don has his bo like a walking stick, and seems calmer.
Raph: Why? Mike needs us! Don, with an irregular speech bubble: Either he is alive or he is dead. The quest is more important. R: What are you talking about? What's wrong with you? D, normal bubble: Nothing. I had a dream last night. If we give up the quest, we've lost. R: Mike is more important! D: That's what the adversary hopes you think. R: What adversary? D, irregular bubble: Have Faith. R: Donatello! D, regular bubble: Remember when you devovled? We kept faith. R, yelling: AAARGH! END
[See Mirage 24-26] Raph was de-mutated into a regular turtle, his brothers had to go on a journey to save him.
ID: Leo, mask off, scowling "This is what we'll do. Break camp. Consolidate our gear. Bury what's left. We're on a combat mission now. We'll keep faith, Don, but--. A narrow panel of Don, drawn small, gripping his staff: What? Leo getting in Don's face, displeased: I hate leaving Mike. -- Just make sure you're right. END
Raph goes missing on their second nights watch, Don becomes stranger and more convicted about this quest.
ID: Leo, furiously, points in the direction of the viewer, accusing Don. "What's with you? Why are you so out of it?! -- What's wrong with your voice? [Larger text] Don't you care about Mike or Raph?! END
ID: Don sits facing away from Leo, gripping his staff, angry, speaking towards his hands. Leo looks on from a ways back, dramatically lit. Don: [Large text] Of course I do! [Normal text] But... I don't know what's wrong with my voice. I don't know who the Adversary is. And yet..." END
ID from alt: Two panels, Leo glaring, getting in Don's face, pointing at his beak, grabbing Don's staff. "Who told you this?" Don has brows raised. Don, with a wincing smile: "The Father of us all." END
ID: Multiple panels. Close on Leo, "Remember what I said about being sure?" Don holding his staff in front of himself, seemingly scared, "Leo, please." Mid on Leo, more neutral frown, "Don..." Full body, Leo turns away, the wind picks up. Leo facing away, pulled back shot. "Let's keep going." END
Narration as they travel further into stranger and stranger territory.
Leonardo: What was to be a relaxing romp has become a grueling death march. Sweating and hacking through the threatening undergrowth, he understands that he is hopelessly lost. As lost as Donatello seems to be, following an Unknown pull, mumbling to somebody only he can hear Donatello: while Leonardo must fight the wild landscape, he slips easily through the thorns. And he listens, and talks. Hair is better than scales? The birds are traitors, having stolen the secret of hot blood? Giants, brought low by small, furry ones? As he pursues the silent beckoning, he learns...
They have a run in with a foe in pitch black forest. They take many hits but score one back, severing one limb, hairy and clawed, then retreat. Don garbs himself in some make shift religious fair, using his blanket, mud and ash. The two sleep, they dream.
And they dream the same dream. They see their blood rise and rule. The ring is turning. The reptiles differentiate, and claim the seas and air. They see their family as it might have become- If the ring hadn't broken. They feel contempt for their children, the birds, as they invade the skies. But it is nothing compared to the fear which the small hairy ones bring. The furry horde had been around since the reptiles beginnings- swarming… unstoppable.
ID: Three panels. Caption Box: The morning brings questions. Leo and Don sit with their backs to a tree. Don's taken his mask off, made a dark markings on his face and body, and wears a hood. Leo: Did you dream-? Don: Yes. Leo looks upset, gestures with a hand in front of himself. "I... felt grief. Anguish. They must be let loose. -- But why? And how?" Don's face is completely shadowed by his hood, his eyes and teeth stick out in far too much detail. It is an unsettling smile. "You're starting to learn." END
Another fight, Don's leg is broken by the mammalian Adversary. Leo, with all the weight of the loss of his brothers, takes position to make a last stand protecting him. But Don urges him to continue on, to find and aid the Father of all Reptiles.
ID: Many panels, Don injured, propped against a tree. Eyes closed in pain he says "Can't you hear?" Leo looks behind them. A strange voice says "Come." Close on Don, crying, yelling at Leo "Go! Please! I have faith in you!" Leo's eyes, frowning. Leo's hand, offering his sword. Leo's eyes, he's crying through his mask. "Take this." Don's hand taking the sword from Leo. Narrow panel, Leo walks away, remaining sword drawn. "Fight well." END
ID: A cut off panel with dialogue, and a close on Leo, framed between two rocks, crying heavily. The says: You have become one with sorrow. You are sad. I am glad. Now we may speak. END
Leo climbs and the conversation continues.
Narration: There are sounds behind him, as he climbs. Voice: Your brother Donatello gave me joy when we met. I thought it would release me from my grief. Narration: Following him as he scampers every higher. Voice: I tried to go. But joy is ephemeral-- Narration: Leonardo reaches the top with haste. Voice: While melancholy lasts forever.
Leo sits at the mountain peak, thinks of his brothers, contemplates the sounds of the Adversary below and the Father of all Reptiles speaks to him more, as he falls into sleep.
This is my nexus, my holy spot. This is my prison, where I am trapped by my sadness. Dream of extinction. Dream of death. Once we were, now we are not. You and yours are what we could have been-- Had not the hairy ones come. All the scaly brethren are my children… But they hairy ones killed them-
Leo wakes slowly to a growl, then all at once with a yelp.
ID: Full page, the Father of all reptiles finishes in a yell. "THEY ATE MY EGGS!" The mammalian Adversary's loud growl just under the speech bubble. It looms in the panel, over Leo at the bottom, his sword drawn. The Adversary, large and rodent like, fur dark, eyes gleaming, foam dripping from its mouth. One arm severed and still bleeding, implanted in it are the weapons from Leo's brothers. Raph's sai in its leg, Mike's nunchaku in the stub of its arm, Don's staff and Leo's other sword in its chest. Other small rodents cling to its form. Surrounding the image, marginalia in the corners. Cracked eggs up top, rodents in the bottom. And a border of text, listing eras, genera and species of or relating to early mammals. END
Leo's brothers, injured, wounds wrapped and broken limbs braced, are following his trail. They see signs in the sky, Mikey thinks it looked like a massive turtle. Don is assured with his faith that this means the Father of All Reptiles is aiding Leo, and that they should rest. Mike and Raph leave him to sit at the mountain base (offering him another weapon for protection), and make their way up.
Narration: At the pinnacle, a warm, fresh breeze wafts downward. The trees below grow normal. Throughout the world, fossil Mesozoic eggs break apart, as fetal reptile souls are let loose. Paleontologists will find no more intact eggs. EVER.
ID: Full page panel, Leo sits at the base of the giant cracked egg of the Father of All Reptiles. Sword dangling, he's exhausted, blood splatters him, his sword, and the mottled surface of the egg shell. The Adversary's head and remaining hand are laying to one side, the dark mass of fur on his other. His brothers cresting the peak see him, and he says "We freed him. The wheel is moving again. The ring is whole." Caption box: And whole, the ring moves on. A Marginalia drawing in the corner shows a small rodent, the front of its body inside the cracked shell of an egg. END
#some shit#tmnt#tmnt mirage#wifi blogs mirage#<- more posts like this. and less like this. there#turbles...#pretty please someone be insane about this with me? i just think its sooooooooo#my heart hurts thinking about them yearning for when the earth might have been better suited for beings like them.#and the tension between don having this true like spiritual experience and their family bonds.#NORMALLY. im against stories making any of the turtles be skeptics. especially for mirage. it just comes off a little strange. with all#they've been thru. BUT I THINK THIS ONE REALLY SELLS IT. it really sells what they would be willing to go along with but also plenty of#reasons they would push back too. and maybe it seems a little corny. but i really like it just being. reptile specific.#instead of filtering some real cultures believes into the comic. not that it cant be done just. this is the 90s.#and none of the writers have really had the chops whove done it so far (and a non insig. number have.)#anyway what i say about the leatherhead issue. I love when don gets main character syndrome. SAD BOY.#really just a very very characterful issue i like it so much. when i saw the back cover again after reading. i got startled by the red mask#cause i forgot this was mirage. NOT. need to be clear. that i dont think TONES of mirage is also this characterful. just like.#the sort of. amalgamation in my head took over. also they sounded like 03 while i was reading. due to. don angst.#so so so long. 2 LAST THINGS#should outs to the other brother for the words help in second to last image. he came in clutch!#and i would just really like to redirect everyones attention to raphs smile in image 5. he has dimples! (turtle dimples...)#oh shit 3rd last thing. guess which image was scaring the shit outta be when i tired to sleep. 👁👄👁
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grief is such a weird emotion bc i can be fine most of the time even if it think about it, but then sometimes thinking about it digs it up all over again
#in regards both to my cat and my grandma though i was mostly thinking about my grandma when i wrote this#i was fine the next day after she died bc like. it was expected. she was in hospice for several months#and a nurse had been staying with her 24/7 for the last 2 days. the nurse told us it probably wouldnt be long on the last day.#we knew it was coming so i didnt feel too bad right after it happened. it was only when the mortician showed up that it sunk in#but the next day i was fine. if she got brought up in conversation id get a bit sad but i was mostly fine after that day#and its been. like. a little more than 3 months since then#i havent been thinking about it much but idk. sometimes it just pops into your head and you get reminded that she isnt here anymore#sometimes i still feel like shes still there when i walk into that room. it still partially smells the same#i turn on the light and feel like im somewhere im not supposed to be until i realize that we cleared out her stuff months ato#you wouldnt know that someone was bedridden and in hospice in there just from looking at it#but sometimes i just get that mental image of her being in there. or when she was in a nursing facility for a time and mostly normal#when we thought she was just almost septic and not nearing the end#the stupid doorbell we had her ring when she needed something that made us all jump whenever we heard a similar sound#the fact that the last blanket she ever started crocheting is still in that room and never finished#her rocking chair that has been sitting empty for probably over a year now#the haunted lamp in what used to be her bedroom pre-hospice that keeps turning on#the fact that her cars no longer in the driveway#idk. thinking about it doesnt like. actively make me cry or anything. but it is like. a lurking feeling#like ive been aware and fine with the fact that shes gone. and has been gone#but sometimes i really... remember that shes gone#i still forget that its like. a permanent thing and that shes not just in the hospital again#i wouldnt say i feel too much grief about her dying. i feel more about my cat that died 8 years ago.#but it is a weird feeling to recognize. maybe i only felt sadder about my cat bc (to me) it was unexpected#idk.
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if horror game in horror genre, then why monster have scary face???? i want horror game!!! NO SCARY FACE!!!!!!!!! only horror game <3
#incoming ramble about scary faces in horror games spooking me too bad#just wish i could like listen to it like a podcast#i get this thing where a very particular genre of images#generally any scary character in analog horror will fit in that genre but yeah like big long distorted mouth realistic eyes usually#can be different tho#but yeah those images get stuck in my head and freak me out in a very intense instinctive almost like primal animalistic way#and when i say stuck in my head i mean i see them every time i close my eyes for hours on end after i so much as think about this image#i am not exaggerating when i say i see that image every time i blink#it’s not as bad if i’m just remembering it as opposed to having just seen it but it can be bad either way if i have a decent memory of it#and this causes intense paranoia#like yknow it’s behind me if my back is exposed it’s right in front of me if i’m in the dark it’s outside my window above my head etc etc#it’s really bad idk what’s going on with me but yeah it sucks bad dude i just have to avoid content like that at all costs#WHICH SUCKS SO MUCH#BC ANALOG HORROR ALWAYS HAS THE BESTTTTTT STORYLINES#IM SO MAD#THINGS LIKE THE MANDELA CATALOGS AND THE FUCKIN OTHER ONE YKNOW THE OTHER ONE HAS A H IN IT I THINK#SOUNDS SO INTERESTING STORY WISE#BUT I CANT FUCKING PLAY IT OR EVEN WATCH SOMEONE PLAY IT BC ID DRIVE MYSELF UP THE BLOODY WALL#EVEN THE MY LITTLE PONY INFECTION AU!!!!!!#I HAD TO BLOCK TAGS/KEYWORDS FOR MLP INFECTION ACROSS ALL PLATFORMS BC I GOT MY SHIT ROCKED BY TWILIGHT FUCKING SPARKLE#LITERALLY FURIOUS I LOVE THAT SHIT IT SOUNDS SO COOL BUT I CANT LOOK AT ANY ART FROM IT ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT IT GETS IN MY HEAD#ONCE I SAW A GOOD OMENS VIDEO AND IT WAS JUST A CUTE LITTLE DRAWING OF MURIEL!! CUTE SWEET PRECIOUS LITTLE OFFICER OF THE LAW!!!!#AND THEN AT THE END IT FLASHED A FRAME ALL CLOSE UP WITH THEIR FACE ALL TWISTED AND DISTORTED AND ELONGATED#SOILED MY BLOODY BREECHES I DID. CRAPPED MY BLASTED PANTALOONS I DID INDEED.#SAW THAT WRETCHED COP BEHIND MY EYELIDS FOR THE NEXT 45 MINUTES I DID.#THE WALTEN FILES THATS THE OTHER ONE#NO H IN IT#CANT WATCH IT YHO SO WHAT DO I CARE ABOUT THE H
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having a horrid nightmare that fits all my current stressors/ongoing negative events in it along with my singular greatest fear in the world... waking up emotional and with no one in my family home/in that dream to talk to for confort
i open my phone's notes app because the imagery was really good though
#sitting here still wiping my eyes and thinking yeah a figure crying with (their first drawing's) crayon scribbles for a head#asking for their family to look at them because if not then this terrible image of them (where you try not to remember their face)#(where its just charred smoke and illegible)#is all they can be and they want their family too and you can hear them crying in their kid self's voice and adult body#shit brain yr right that imagery for someone struggling to move past loss of family/stuck in the past/scared of the remains being only imag#DOES hurt really bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lemme take notes when im done wiping my eyes here and im tryin not to call my brother#armour clanking#my eyes hurt man. this is why i dont sleep as long as normal sleep is supposed to be i get punished with long stress dreams.#if nothing else i'm getting the fucking art and ideas out of it I'm owed THAT if i had to see all that . christ. its only monday
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vimeo
{Shaman King} ~ Yoh Asakura & (Aspec!/Demiromantic Queer!) Manta Oyamada + "At the Beginning" {+{Minimal} Anna as Support) (near very End)}
By Me {Do Not Reproduce/Re-upload my AMVs/Video Edits Without my Permission Under Any Circumstances} Music (C) D o n n a L e w i s & R i c h a r d M a r x A N A S T A S I A (C) FOX/D O N B L U T H
#amv: at the beginning#koushirouizumi mankin#koushirouizumi sk#koushirouizumi manta#koushirouizumi yoh#koushirouizumi posts#yohta#yoh x manta#qpr yohta#autistic manta#autistic yoh#(T e s t to see if this one d i s p LAYS OK here)#({OK ANYWAY} HI I N E E D PPL TO B E G I N UNDERSTANDING)#(THIS IS THE ONLY KIND OF Q U A L I T Y FOOTAGE I HAD ON HAND BEFORE THE ' ONE WEEK ' A.M.V IN MOST OF MY F A N D O M S)#(This was also my very LAST Man-kin one before most of my later S o n i c X ones {oK BUT I STILL KINDA LOVE IT N E G L})#(Its ***OVER 10+ YRS OLD*** O K)#(I LITERALLY outlined these in my head while IN *S C H O O L* STILL)#(For a long while I was frustrated over how badly the quality got with the transition to H.D. bc it had displayed MUCH BETTER in the Past)#(Its still 'watchable' but m A N I NEED To Remake My Mankin Ones {you can even see the lines at bottom indicating OLD D.V.D footage})#({I also still need to 'finish' watching R e b o o t &also F l o w e r s..... but im eternally fed up Manta ISNT INCLUDED THERE})#({except ONE V. GOOD BUT Still SUPPORTING SCENE where YOH WASNT T H E R E and I dont think it even got into a nIME})#({Once I finish watching all that} {though Ive LONG since finished entire original m a n g a} {I Might Fix These Up Too})#({I also for LONG time decided not to reuse the outlining for KouxTai but also because I didnt have Clear image of direction Id go in With}#({NOW T H O} I Think I MIGHT FINALLY be able to try a KouxTai version down the R o a d {MAYBE FOR d IGIMON TAIKOUVEMBER....})#(Dont @ Me F L O W E R S HAS LONG BEEN O U T NOW OK THANK)#({A.K.A. I Finally Have Tai+Koushiros 0.0005 The Beginning screen times I CAN USE IT IN THINGS N O W..... SOMEWHERE.....})#(Idek but m A N When You Are In Completely Different H e a d S p a c e now than you were 10+ yrs ago makin this in s CHOOL)#({I STILL V. MUCH STAND BY THE T H E M E S & F R A M I N G THO})#(Gd though yEA I NEED to finish re sharing my handful of older Man-kin A.M.V.s and the last few D.N. @ngel + S o n i c X ones)#(If these embed{s} can work Ill see if I can share the others tho theres a few more w s o n g s that might not work lmaooo)
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sheepboy picrew
link
#the bangs aren't quite right but they didn't have his bangs style#also I thought about giving him the tail with a fluffy end but it blended in too much with the white hair#also if sheepboy had a fluffy tail he's more likely to have a short tuft. I have thought about this a lot. I'm still undecided but#I think short tuft right above the butt is better for him than long tail with furry tuft at the end. just fits better with the image of him#I have inside my head. also his devil ancestor has a short sheepy tail so#also his horns are different but the only other sheepy horn option curved in on itself way too much
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wait can someone remind me….vin’s father ended up dying at the end of the final empire or he survived?
#i remember something significant happening when he showed up but not the details#my memory is horrible lately lmao#it wasn’t even that long ago i read the first book but in fantasy book years it may as well have been an eternity#don’t ask me what anyone looks like besides vin and sazed and MAYBE? elend#but honestly i’m not sure i had good images in my head for any of these characters. there were too many introduced all at once#also VINS BROTHER??? he’s dead orrrrrr…….#was this even addressed at the end of book one i also don’t remember#mine#mistborn#juli reads the cosmere
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ok i just need to write down these whack 1d dreams i’ve had the last couple days
#so two nights ago it was that zayn had a reality dating show and i was ON IT#and the whole time i was like 😭 i’m too gay for this can i leave pls#it was in this place that was both super tropical but also a desert#and zayn INSISTED we keep going on these long ass walks thru the sand i was just like bro can we go back#and he got mad at me when i said i needed to go take a walk to decompress after this story about his ex that he told me#it was so vivid and surreal#but then the dream i just woke up from i was part of 1d in like 2013 era???#and it was sooo busy so many interviews and a couple fan meeting things#and i was like damn this is exhausting#but also got to see these beaauuutiful places#like one of our hotels was suspended directly over this crystal blue water that had orca swimming thru it and we swam w the orca#and both harry and louis separately plotted w me to pull pranks on each other#harry was also like?? psychic?? like he could send images into everyone’s heads but he only did it w nice things lol#and then randomly at the end he came to work w my at this body jewelry company i used to work for#but like he was still him and on our application form to work there we had to disclose our income for some reason#and on his he was like i’m not telling u this 😐 don’t push it#like w the emoji too fhdhskeldk#but i’m out here like why am i dreaming of these guys even more when i’m taking a break from them#like i still listen to their music ofc but i don’t have the energy to participate in the fandom rn#it’s like they know and they’re like#u thought u could forget about us!!!!! syke bitch we’re haunting ur dreams now <3#but whatever i’ll take this over the other vivid dreams i’ve been having lately#anyway#rowyn rambles
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