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osamusriceballs · 1 year ago
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The Accident - Part XII
Atsumu x fem reader
Warnings: Kissing, mentions of an affair
Words: ~ 1,8 k
About: Problems in paradise.
Part I II -> Next Part
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You're about to kiss Atsumu Miya.
You feel his lips brushing against yours, a feather-light touch that makes you hesitate and freeze. He stays still, not pulling back, but his eyes slightly open when he senses you're not moving further. Your faces are only inches apart, your breath meeting his lips when you exhale shakily and a shiver runs down your spine when you feel his lips brush against yours again. A frown clouds his face, and he suddenly tilts his chin, pressing his lips harder against yours, coaxing you to join in and to come closer. Your breath catches before you surrender to the kiss, the tension between you rising as you slowly move your lips with his.
You barely notice his hand in your hair as a he guides your face to his direction, deepening the kiss effectively while his lips move ever so gently against yours. Your hands come to rest on his chest, warmth radiating through his shirt and you can feel his heart beating strongly under your palm. Every thought vanishes when he opens his lips, his tongue brushing against yours, making you gasp a little at the sudden action and you willingly open your lips for him. Your fingers tightly grip his shirt, and his other hand hesitates on your side before wrapping around you firmly when he notices that you make no attempt to back off, and he pulls you closer until you're caged against his chest.
Your body feels ablaze, mind hazy and your thoughts foggy, as the kiss intensifies. You're barely able to catch your breath in between the kisses, but you're both not willing to pull back, but instead get lost in each other's taste. A tingling sensation runs through your body, heat building between your legs and you slightly press your legs together to relieve some tension. A part of you wants to feel more of him, to sit on his lap to press yourself harder against his body while you keep on kissing him. Does he feel the same?
His movements slow down, and he pulls back, effectively ending the kiss between you. His face lingers close, wide pupils, reddened cheeks, and a teasing lick over his lips draws your eyes downwards. You almost lean in for another kiss, your whole body feeling like its on fire and singing with need for him. His arms release you, creating distance, and you quickly withdraw your hands from his body and scoot back to your original place, almost sitting on Atsumu's phone while you do so.
"I think that's... sufficient for the dare." He clears his throat, his voice a bit raspy, and you nod with a strained laugh. For the dare. It's just an entertaining game for him- and now things are getting awkward.
"Uhm, yeah. But uh... it's kind of getting late? I think I should go." You quickly get on your feet, avoiding looking at him while you make a beeline for your shoes at the entrance. You can't believe that you kissed him- or he kissed you- or you both kissed each other, it doesn't really matter at this point.
You can't deny that it felt good. Really good. Atsumu Miya is a great kisser- and you don't know what to do with that information. You don't even know what he feels for you- are there even feelings involved from his side? Or is this just a game for him?
"You- y/n, ya don't hafta-" You hear him get on his feet quickly, running behind you and standing next to you while you tie your shoes. "I didn't mean to- it was just a dare-"
You freeze for a second, feeling like he just punched you. "I know. It's not- we're not." You clear your throat and raise to your full height, realizing that he is so close to you- way too close for you to think clearly. Worry clouds his features as he looks down on you.
"I didn't - I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed ya for a game. I kinda overstepped things." He scratches the back of his head and you notice that his ears are pink which makes him look adorable- but now it only makes your heart break when he apologizes for kissing you. What did you expect? For him to instantly tell you that he likes you after the kiss? That he somehow feels just as attracted to you as you're attracted to him? You can't deny that he has a part of your heart already. His kindness, his charm, his dorky humor- it all makes your heart flutter like crazy when you think about him, and you can't help but to imagine a possible future for you.
But now you're almost certain that he is just looking for some fun. A game. That's what you are for him. He's just looking for someone to kill his time and it seems like you're here just for that. You curse yourself for letting traitorous hope caging your heart.
"Please don't sweat it, it was me who started it, I should apologize. It was just a game, right? Just some fun. Everything's fine between us, don't worry. We're married after all right? A kiss is definitely not the weirdest thing that has happened between us." You force a smile on your lips and grab your bag, effectively creating some distance between the two of you. You wish that everything's okay, but it's not. He weakly lowers his arms, appearing somewhat hurt at your words, and you feel guilt in the pit of your stomach. "Are you sure? I can drive you home. Ya wanna eat dinner together tomorrow? Ya said yer free." You simply nod without really taking in his words and turn away from him. "I'll find my way out, don't worry. Sleep well, Atsumu."
He looks like you've punched him again, but he finally nods when you grab the doorknob. "Sleep well, y/n."
You just hope he can't see your watery eyes.
xxx
"What do you mean, you kissed and ran away?" Yachi's voice comes delayed through the phone, probably because you're in the elevator. Your first instinct was to grab your phone and to call her, the distress in your voice evident while you told her what had just happened.
"It was a dare. We didn't kiss like that," you clarify, but your voice is still shaky. You feel overwhelmed, unable to process your feelings. You both kissed, and you basically ran away from him, not even asking about his feelings. What does he think about you?
"Wait—I thought you two were alone. Who dared you to do that?"
"An app."
"So you kissed because of a teenage app?" She gasps and you can vividly picture her face with a shocked expression when she repeats the words.
"That sounds like an excuse." She adds, and you can't help but to nod.
"It's... complicated," you finally admit, struggling to put your feelings into words.
"Why did you run away?"
"I got scared. He said it was just a dare. I felt like it was a game for him."
"Was that before or after you ran away?"
"Both. He even repeated it two times." You put a hand over your face and sigh.
"He may have wanted to put you out of the uncomfortable situation."
"I... I just don't know how I feel about him. I really liked the kiss, but I can't read him. He wants to meet me tomorrow though."
"He asked to meet you again? Y/n, go talk to him now! Get back and ask him about it! I'll kick your ass if you leave like that. Seriously y/n. I know it's a lot, but you can't just leave like that." She sounds like she's on fire while she scolds you, and you shrink into the wall when you realize that you might have wronged him here.
"You're right. I'll go and talk to him. Clarify things. Tell him how I feel." You inhale deeply and push yourself off the wall with newly found determination. You can always trust on Yachi to have your back.
You look up when the doors of the elevator suddenly open and hastily click on Atsumu's floor number while another woman gets with you into the elevator. You smile politely while you still hold the phone against your ear and nod as a greeting, and she smiles back, revealing a smile that is so perfect that it could be straight out of a commercial.
"Call me when you're done! Don't just leave him like that. You like him and I'm sure he likes you too." Yachi's words encourage you further and you smile when you thank her.
"Thanks. I'll call you." You hang up the call and put your phone in your bag, noticing in the corner of your eyes that the woman next to you has stopped smiling. You frown when you suddenly notice her red shirt with the number 21 on it- similar to Atsumu's shirt. It's without a doubt a fanshirt of Atsumu, you're certain about that after looking at it for a few more seconds. A fangirl? A glance to the display shows you that she wants to go to the same floor as you- and your heart suddenly drops when a suspicion arises within you.
You catch her eyes again, and she raises an eyebrow when she notices that you're staring at her shirt. "Are you a fan? I could get you an autograph if you want one." She breaks the silence and you stare at her with widened eyes. "You- you know Atsumu Miya?"
She laughs and plays with her long brown hair- and you don't fail to notice how pretty she is. She could be a model with her looks, that's for sure. And she knows Atsumu. "Honey, let me tell you. I have Atsumu Miya in the palm of my hand. I don't want to ruin your fantasies, but he is not as single as he appears on social media." She gives you a wink and you freeze. "You okay? You look a bit pale, darling."
Your chest feels heavy and your stomach turns at her words. There is no way. This can't be true. "I'm fine. No, I'm not a fan. But thanks for the offer."
The elevator opens its doors and she exits, waiting for you to come out too, but you can't move. It's like your body is glued to the floor, weighted down by the sheer thought of Atsumu and the beauty before you being together- for whatever reason.
"I forgot something downstairs." You reply and mechanically push the button of the ground floor. She just shrugs her shoulder and moves into the direction of Atsumu's door, not even sparing you another glance while she strides away. If you had any doubt about her words, you were now certain that she knows him when you see her halting at his door before the elevator doors fall shut.
She knows this place. She's going to his apartment in the middle of the night. While the elevator smoothly runs down, you come to the conclusion that you apparently don't know anything about Atsumu.
The only thing you certainly know is he not only has you as his official wife.
But Atsumu Miya also has a girlfriend.
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bilolli · 11 months ago
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Heyyyyyy @betweenblackberrybranches did you know that I like your automatons designs a lot?
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Scans under the cut
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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months ago
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What would you choose? :0c
(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)
#I would get orange juice. black coffee. AND iced coffee ($3) because I love the variety of having multiple drinks#then sausage and scrambled eggs ($8). Then sauteed mushrooms ($3)....AND... hrm.. then spending the remaining $4 would be hard#I wish I could get waffles (as they are my favorite and are superior in every way compared to pancakes. donuts. etc.) but I'm not willing#to give up the other savory things just to get them. so... then maybe I could get a biscuit or english muffin? and just put jam or#honey butter or something on it so it can be my replacement 'sweet and bready' thing instead of something from the $5 row??#OR I could also just assume that having the orange juice plus iced coffee would provide enough of a 'sweet element' to the meal#(since I largely prefer savory foods. I only like a tiny bit of sweet added for variety) and thus forego any sort of#'bready' thing entirely and just get the bowl of beans/onion/tomato (I'd leave the avocado since I don't like the#texture of them really lol). THEN I'd have $1 left to get the milk or the black tea... increasing my total of random drinks..#which is always the goal of course.. as a chronic ''person who is sipping at 5 different drinks at their desk simultaneously always'' perso#OR... I could just do.. waffle. scrambled eggs. sausage. mushrooms. and black coffee and orange juice.. which is... okay variety#augh... so difficult.. As my Ideal Breakfast is like a buffet type thing or something where you have like 25 different things to choose fro#and can get a little tiny bit of everything. My eating style is very much like.. I'd rather pick at a small amount of a ton of#different things than just have a very large amount of only one or two things. Thats why I LOVE sample platter type stuff.#So it's like... augh... the ideal option would be a tiny portion of EVERYTHING actually lol...#Difficult to choose...#ANYWAY.. Also no idea why I added croissant instead of bagel. I only thought about that afterwards. I do actually like bagels.#I've only ever even had a croissant like 2 times in my entire life. Yet I've had many bagels. For some reason it stuck out in my mind more#when I was considering 'essential breakfast foods' somehow... how could I forget them... bagels my beloved...#Blame it on the hot weather... 'What in the blazes? The sun hath obliterated the concept of bagels from my miind!'#(< meant to be said in a silly overdramatic elderly wizard accent or something)#Also I don't think ''bowl of beans. onion. avocado. and tomatos.'' is necessarily a breakfast classic or something gbhjjh#but I was just trying to think of a versatile vegetable-ish side that could be full of common breakfast additions#so people could do stuff like ''oh I get the toast option and then the bowl of stuff and I put the avocado on the toast'' etc.#Like a mix and match. You could mix ingredients from different parts. You could put scrambled eggs and bacon and onion#on the bread or soemthing. etc. I just feel like something is always missing if a Full Breakfast Spread#doesnt have some sort of onions or beans or mushrooms or asparagus or spinach like... some sort of thing that isn't just eggs and meat and#bread.. you know? lol..#But then again.. I am the Sampling Plate Style Variety Lover and Tiny Portion Of Food Picker so maybe thats just a me thing.
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xxplastic-cubexx · 13 days ago
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you say they can’t put telepaths in marvel rivals, yet we have some very credible leaks that jean grey and emma frost are gonna be in the game soon.
that being said, jean has telekinesis (and the phoenix force) and emma has her diamond form. telepathy is all charles has, lmfao. odds are pretty low for him, but maybe not zero if they give him telekinesis!
if yall have me say he got psionic blasts one more time i am going to scream HE HAS MORE THAN TELEPATHY . LIMITED BUT HE HAS IT <- he has gone against sentinels and disabled armies with it before HE CAN FIGHT I PROMISEEE
and technically they did give him telekinesis in krakoa (and very weak telekinesis sometimes before krakoa) so .... not my fave move but he does have that ...... and ig they give him a gun sometimes ........ last resort type shit but he has options ..
#snap chats#area man gets too passionate about charles xavier more at 12#also did i not say emma had her diamond form or did i delete that tag#omg no i deleted the tag fuck my life. please believe me i did say emma had her diamond form i didnt think anyoned care tho#but with charles. as i said before. he has more than telepathy ...#limited but .. it exists options exist ... he can also Arguably control machinery#i say Arguably cause im still figuring out how he controls machines he says he does with his mind#then he can Also read like ??? SOME kinda waves in sentinels ??? that was a thing im p sure#BUT YEAH NO LISTEN this is what im saying when i say he could be a support character and not a duelist#as if anyone was contemplating duelist charles ........#lol i love how i call 'vanguards' tanks and 'strategists' supports but i stick with duelist for damage. sorry duelist better#anyway let charles be support it'll never happen because this game hates me but i can dream#listen im just saying maybe charles can have a move that disables machinery or something#like punisher or iron man... maybe like a temporary lock on weapons... just one target#lmao wait im just thinking of sombras ult from ow arent i. yeah fuck it why not he can have a disable-all-skills ult idc vejRLKAERJE#sounds bout right for how sneaky he is sometimes .....#his left and right clicks could lit just be psionic blasts of varying strength and speed#doesnt even have to do physical damage ... mental damange .... what the difference right the brain sayin There Is Pain anyway..#maybe charles could have a sonar ability that lets him (maybe nearby allies too) see through walls for like. three seconds... 50M range....#like yk what i mean he can sense where people are thats my idea...#LIKE LET ME COOK MARVEL LET MEEE IN <- dont ill make him busted or horrible there is no in between
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reginamillls · 6 months ago
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you're at a craft fair and you see a table of treats - what are you hoping to buy?
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agalychnisspranneusroseus · 12 days ago
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CW slightly suggestive content but uhhh
Sashanne having a more physical relationship in highschool before it becomes explicitly romantic, like I'm talking 17-18 years old right? And lately, every sleepover includes making out and lots of touching and y'know, while still strictly calling each other just friends. It's not that they're not in love with each other, they just... don't want to think about it right now. It's just easier this way. Just like how it's easier not to talk about it when it's over.
But they're definitely not exclusive, and Anne has seen Sasha dating boys for the past few years - never girls - and it's honestly killing her inside. She doesn't want to bring it up because why would she? They're just friends! And sometimes they have fun together, but it's just that, little more than an entertaining sleepover activity that doesn't mean anything. Even if Sasha always tells her she's beautiful between kisses, even if she always hugs her tight afterwards. They're just friends. They trust each other with their lives. Nothing's wrong.
But one time they're lying together on Anne's bed, cuddling while Sasha plays with her hair, exhausted and comfy and content, and as they chat, Sasha casually tells her about the boy she was with last weekend, and Anne gets surprisingly angry all of a sudden. Her excuse is that Sasha needs to tell her before doing anything because, what if they get sick or something? It doesn't make much sense but the words fall out of her mouth anyway. She hates hates HATES the idea of a boy seeing Sasha the way she sees her, HATES the idea of a boy touching her, or being this close to her, and frog now she can't get the image out of her head, which is hauntingly explicit because she tries so hard not to think about it that she can't help think about it. She has tears in her eyes. If Sasha was offended by Anne's previous implications, she lets it go as soon as she sees how upset she is. They both know Anne has no right to ask Sasha to stop seeing people - they're just friends, after all - but Sasha has always been the protector, and she already hurt Anne too many times, the last thing she wants is to make her cry (nowadays, seeing either of her girls cry always makes her stop on her tracks, no matter how angry she was before, no matter how right she knows she is, it's like it pushes a special button in her brain that tells her your priority now is to make her happy again, no matter how inconvenient it is). She has two options now: to call this off now before it gets worse and they both end up hurt, or promising Anne some level of exclusivity, even if it just means asking permission before being with a boy. Or anyone, for that matter, but as pretty as girls are, there are only two that truly own her heart and she could never bring herself to be with another. Not after Anne. There is only one other girl she'd be with after Anne and she's half a continent away.
She'd be willing to give Anne that power. She's eager, almost, as if making up for something even though she didn't do anything wrong. Anne can't accept it - friends talk about boys at sleepovers, Sasha telling her about her boyfriend of the week should be normal. She asks Sasha to forget about it, and curls into her side and lets her continue play with her hair while she holds back tears. She knows this is a game for them, she shouldn't expect Sasha to treat it as anything else. Even if it makes her feel a litte bit like a toy.
#sashanne#there's a smidge of sashannarcy there too#i like to think sasha is generally slightly more into boys that girls. not only in matters of raw attraction but mostly in#matters of decision. because boys are ''safer'' somehow. being with girls would feel like replacing *her* girls. she can be with a boy#without thinking of *them* but being with a girl only makes her think ''i could be with MY girls if things were different''#especially if she realized she was bisexual recently like... after years of apparent heterosexuality#suddenly she realizes girls are an option and her mind immediately flies to HER girls. HER girls are now an option.#being with any other girl almost feels like a betrayal (<- things that only make sense in her head)#it's not that she's never had a girlfriend or been with a girl before but... it almost feels *too close* to what she could've had#almost as if she's ''wasting'' her bisexuality on girls she doesn't really love#like. she realizes she's been in love with her best friends for years and she uses this new knowledge to go date some rando??#at least she never feels like she has to love the boys she's with. she can almost pretend this is the younger her that didn't know#who her heart truly belonged to. brings her a sense of normalcy#does this make sense??#my posts#suggestive#they're very stupid btw lol getting into a physical relationship with your bestie with whom you've been in love for years#under these circumstances... anakakskskn bad idea. terrible idea. idk what they were thinking
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knifekris · 4 months ago
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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whoblewboobear · 6 months ago
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Jace and Porter being soft and domestic means so much to meee. Them living together, talking about where to eat for dinner, asking the other to throw something in the wash for them, Porter doing the dishes and Jace walking over to press a kiss to his cheek, Jace running through his nighttime skin care routine when Porter comes in to brush his teeth, them cuddling at night, Porter making Jace coffee in the mornings, Jace making Porter’s protein shake for him if he wakes up before Porter heads to the gym. Just all of it. All the soft and mundane.
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mint-is-here · 6 months ago
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hey guyss,,,, if i did a like.. murder drones lmk au would you guys like. be fine iwth it??? pls i need confirmation
#the rabbits are going wild on my head#i just#theres thismd au qhere red son is a murder drone and mk and mei are workers i once saw and i just#i had creted some small ideas in my head about the au months ago and thought that was it but like#it was never really expanded on or at leas thte creator didnt post much aobut it but my head#ooo my head is full of gears and theyre spinning FAST rn#like is it bad if i just take hte concept of red being a murder drone and the other two being workers??#like from what the creator of the au has shown they were doing a whole different thing than I want to do so like#its not plagiarism???#at least wukong's role is diferent._.#and there's no spicynoodles#i find the ship cute but i dont ship it#i just want some traffic light trio content man#with maybe murders and arson and eldritch beings#is that too muhc to ask??#im talking about the trio but the thing im sorto f focusing on rn is wukong and macaque because like#i may be a md fan but i dont undestand the story i just v i b e#so since those two are sort of taking nori and yeva's roles and theyre heavly involved on the Absolute Solver lore#plus the whole 'lets add a new type of drone because i need an explanation as to why theyre a bit stronger than worker drones'#i have no idea what im doing with them XD#the au is not a full roleswap thing i'm mixing and matching a lot#like macaque's current role is more similar to doll's but his bakcstory is a mix between nori and yeva's with my own original bits#almost the same can be said aobut wukong#but he leans moe heavly on nori's part on the current story#i think its funny how much im thinking about these tow because like#i cant find a role for nezha so hes currenlty not part of the au so my mind is just going to the second best option which is macaque#and wukong#stuff#i sohuld go to sleep its like 00:05#so yeahh
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yappacadaver · 2 months ago
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you know they were about to go so hard on emmy's personal quest. they didnt. but at least someone in that writing room wanted to give us that good good
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gobbluthbutagirl · 4 months ago
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crazy how if you google “how many job applications per week” (which you probably shouldn’t google anyway) you get one result saying doing 2-3 a day is good, one result saying doing 5-10 a day is good, and one result saying doing 11-20 a day is good. So basically, do whatever the hell you want forever
#my thing is. HOW many of these jobs are real. HOW many of these places are actually hiring#one of the 2 i did today made you answer like 15 different questions about whether you’ve ever been late for work. ummmm.no#my plan is to apply at least 20 jobs over the next ummm week or two or so#and keep in mind these are all like nothingburger minimum wage retail jobs designed for stupid individuals such as myself#and if NONE of these places want me then i will know that the job market right now is probably bad for realsies#and so between like september 14-21 i will know if i should be looking for a place to stay for october#or looking for a plane ticket back so i don’t waste money chasing something that won’t happen#and IF it’s option B then i will make my brother hire me at dunkin for a few months until a) the job market improves#or b) i have enough money saved up that i could convince some landlord to rent to me while unemployed#because my thing about the money is like. i still have everything i saved when i worked at target#and i still remember what i endured in order to save all that money. so i absolutely am not dipping into that money#until i KNOW my life is headed in the right direction#and also when i got the job at target that was literally the 4th job i applied to in like 3 months#so if i apply to like 2 dozen jobs and none of them pan out then i’ll Know the timing is wrong. the market is bad#anyway pay me no mind i’ve only been back on the west coast 24 hours#i just had to go ahead and think through every possibility before my head asploded. Her ass did not fucking sleep last night your honor
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lisbonsteresa · 1 year ago
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[through gritted teeth] i am so normal about this
#no no no it's just like....#the difference between just these two instances from s1 to s3 is FASCINATING to me#he's not asking in the first he's just stating a fact and he's having his belief confirmed#(by a man who's now almost definitely going to be in jail for the rest of his life -#the less extreme of the worst case options jane's had in his head but still nothing to scoff at) he's told with passion and conviction that#the revenge was worth the cost; that he doesn't regret it in the slightest; that it was 'redemptive')#and that's exactly what jane thinks that's what he's built his life around for the past - at least 5? - years#but he IS asking in the second; it's years after the first and he's not the same man he was then#he does still believe in vengeful justice i think but it's not just him that he has in mind now#there's other people to consider - people that found their way into his head and his heart (despite any of his efforts to the contrary)#and he's asking this question to a man who's just been cleared of all charges (were they murder charges? idk i need to watch that ep again)#it's not just him he's thinking of now and it's not just the most concrete costs either#it's....idk it's a shift from the objective costs to the emotional costs; it's the shift from being told to asking i'm just obsessed#(also interesting that these are both men when the only time i can think of off the top of my head where he has this kind of interaction#with a woman is the s1 country club episode? the one with liz forbes? where she breaks down and says it doesn't change a thing#that's a completely new tilt to it too that's something to consider all of this actually has no point but where else am i gonna say it)#tm
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firebirdsdaughter · 5 months ago
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Listen…
… I’m not up too late you are but I need to get this outta my brain before I forget it.
Had the thought and now love the parallel/progression of Byakuya explaining the relationship between Yamamato and Sasakibe and specifically noting how much pain Yamamato is in from losing his lieutenant, and then later his doing his bestest to protect his own lieutenant in the next fight, despite insane odds.
Like hm, honey, I think you might actually be imagining something like the pain he’s experiencing. Not on the same scale, but an inkling methinks.
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ame-to-ame · 6 months ago
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there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
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dreamsy990 · 1 year ago
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my thoughts on ddd basically boil down to "great game! kill the story with fire and sticks." which i think is about the coldest take ever. do not get me started on how nobodies having hearts is a dumbfuck plot twist i am so full of rage over that.
#it ruins roxas' entire character i swear#also sidenote soras evidence for nobodies having hearts is. hilarious#his examples are xion; namine; roxas; and axel#xion isnt even a nobody#namine is only considered a nobody on a technicality#roxas is generally an exception to a lot of nobody rules. also him having emotions and that being an abnormality is like. a plot point#and axel generally doesnt have emotions! he only ever has them relating to sora or roxas and he is genuinely shocked the first time he-#-realizes that he can feel something because of them#he literally dies saying '[roxas] made me feel like i had a heart... its funny- you make me feel the same way'#that weird ability they have to make axel feel things is a big part of why he cares so much about roxas and sora#and to say that 'he actually had a heart' is just a bad misinterpreting of what was already there#and if i didnt know any better i would assume there was a different writer for this game#its poorly thought out and directly contradicted on multiple occasions#plus you cant tell me xemnas really tricked all these people into thinking they didnt have hearts. like. at the very least VEXEN would have#also if they always felt things and xemnas gaslighted them into thinking it wasnt real#then why would axel notice anything special about sora and roxas at all. wouldnt he just treat emotions caused by them like everything else#-and talk himself into thinking they werent real? like its just not thought out#also to me it makes xemnas a less interesting villain. i dont mind his big secret plot i think its fine honestly.#but i much prefer the option of xemnas taking advantage of people who were desperate to him gaslighting and lying#its more personal taste but like. idk#also literally do not get me started on how this twist sucks for roxas' character. its just plain bad for him.#he fought tooth and nail and fucking died saying he deserved to exist whether or not he had a heart#and to look at him and go 'dont worry you get one now' is just bad! and i hate it!!#anyways. i fucking despise this games story#kingdom hearts#doodles#sora#roxas#riku#lea
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peridots-pixiwolf · 2 years ago
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[Start ID. A drawing of two scavengers from Rain World, one labelled Sanic and the other one Shrek. Sanic's fur is light brown, with darker extremities, a messy row of pale green spines down its back, and bright blue eyes. They sit contentedly, staring at the screen, with a couple grenades by its feet. Shrek has pale fur, a green head, hands, and feet, and brown eyes. It's facing to the right, with their arms splayed out and an explosive spear on their back. Beside each scavenger are a few woefully-compressed screencaps of their in-game appearance. End ID]
An ode to these silly beasts, who accompanied me on my second visits to Industrial and Chimney
#peridots-art#rain world#scavenger rain world#...usually only draw set characters of games and not. creatures. so that's new for me#absolutely love specbioing these guys though!! buggifying them scratches the right itch in my brain especially when they could reasonably#be buggy in canon!!#bugs#clarification on the ''shrek is maybe two guys'' thing ahead. first we'll argue for One Guy#1. both found in the same region at the same time 2. remarkably similar coloring and mannerisms (seemed to be the pack leader)#and now evidence supporting the two different guys theory:#1. travelled with a different pack of scavengers the second time vs when i found it 2. second time had slightly duller colors and noticably#longer horns (without the little gradient at the end)#so now you see why i didn't notice anything wrong until after reviewing the screenshots. BUT!!! secret third option!!!#the first one with the short horns was found first when i was using the entrance-to-industrial shelter#and the one i mostly relied on for reference was near the higher shelter. shrek numero dos. the canon shrek.#but i have a screenshot of shrek 1 in the place shrek 2 was found. hanging out with one of shrek 2's pack members no less.#ok now that that's ''settled''. don't let this all distract you from the fact that the simple act of SWITCHING TO THE SHADING LAYER#got me out of a four-month-long mental rut. i can't say that it was depression nor that i know anything about depression in the first place#but even if it wasn't very serious? it Sucked. even if it was just a nagging thought at the back of my mind my life was duller somehow#i started to feel a little unmotivated. lonely. anxious. like the days blend together. the things i liked weren't bringing as much joy#and all of that got worse recently. the main reason i haven't posted any art for like a month? art stopped being fun.#which is a TERRIBLE thing for someone like me who loves to draw so so much. so when everything that's been building up over the past months#just vanished completely? without warning? you better believe i teared up over a doodle of a scavenger for making me feel right again.#i'm overjoyed to be free of it. i'm hopeful again! i love myself again! i can fall in love with the world all over again!!!#i have no idea how this happened. but i have motivation and determination and i feel like i can change my life for the better now. if i try#maybe this was my normal but it's the striking opposite of what I've been feeling--i'm finally proud of my accomplishments! and of myself!!#which was something i couldn't say in earnest even before december.#and reader? i call you tag-wanderer for i have no way of knowing who you are. maybe a treasured mutual or maybe a stranger. but i love you.#and i hope you make your way out.#peridots-described
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