#I had been doing so well
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
after a long run of managing my time well, i have vanished from social media because, simultaneously, i am:
planning a novel
planning an etsy/patreon
designing patterns
stitching patterns
researching mythical animals
writing five different hannigram stories
planning to rewrite a ten year old full-length novel
planning a new heville story
actively reading eight separate books, not including books for research
having four separate really important doctors appointments in the next few weeks
relistening to all of crime junkie (again)
probably should have a social media presence but
turning my bedroom into a blanket fort (again)
more supplies are on the way
#busy busy busy#adhd#actually adhd#too many ideas#too many wips#I had been doing so well#with the one project at a time#sigh#blanket fort#not really bc when we moved we didn’t bring 30 years of blankets and sheets with us#and we’re in an apartment I can’t destroy#so I got a princess canopy as the base#it’s fine#it’s so much better than fine#i love it so much#it’s where I do my nightly#harry potter#the dictionary of obscure sorrows#the plague#albert camus#christine#stephen king#cirque du freak#darren shan#different seasons#ptsd radio#my favorite thing is monsters#crime junkie#I don’t even remember what I just said in my own post#time management
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
would you bite the hand that feeds you?
#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#wild life smp#namemc spoilers#i hope these two never get along in the storyline i find them fascinating#OKAY SO#originally i had this sketch back in session 2 when scott manages to throw her something actually edible JUST IN TIME#and now with the namemc spoilers of pearl ACTUALLY having a yellow eye which does! kind of match scotts esp since he died for this#i figured itd be an appropriate time#i did edit it though the original was pearl eating smth#now do i think scott and pearl has had any Major (heh) interactions to warrant this fanart in WL?#frankly no LMAO theyve been very civil you go guys . but i like the dynamics between them anyway#also i finally got a piece with scott!!! hes been very hard to draw goodness#anyway long rambly tags#eydidraws#my art#mcyt#trafficblr#galaxyduo#majormoon#** i say civil because its just been more on verbal light jabs at each other rather than anything Really significant ?#and well. its obvious all 3Gs are being very careful around each other which makes me JUST A L IL SAD#id love to see them let loose and be vicious but i also understand the angle theyre coming from#anyway can you tell i like the 3g dynamics
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
It's just guys night talk! Don't worry about it!
(Read Tiger Tiger and shake this man awake so he can finish that thought!)
#tiger tiger#remy bonnaire#jamis arlesi#Comics I meant to post a week ago but I have been...extraordinarily sleepy.#Remy is the ultimate yearner and he is about to explode...these last few updates have had the Tigers discord in a vice grip.#We all knew he was going to say something that would devestate Remy.#But this??? This near confession? “I wish you would look at me like that?”#If I was Remy...well yeah I probably would also just lay in bed. Awake. Pondering and internally exploding.#But ough...the agony...his heart had settled on loving this man from afar and now...now he wonders. If it doesn't have to be so.#The boys are fighting (internally and with themselves).#If you haven't red Tigers yet but are reading this: What else must I do to convince you? Draw more men's tits?#God! If I must [I shake my head at an empty audience] I can't believe I'm being forced to do this!
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
what do you mean jennifer saunder's shrek 2 cover of Holding Out for a Hero didn't play over the entirety of dressrosa arc
#happy new year. it's been about a decade since dressrosa arc first aired#i thought i was well and truly done with that last edit but this struck me like a bolt of lightning#one last go at it to wrap up the year#also. to be fair to doflamingo: how the fuck do you predict or prepare for this shit#(small aside: dressrosa arc is so badly paced you would not believe how many eps i had to download to pull four minutes together)#one piece#op#CJ's op watch-through#CJ's edits#dressrosa#trafalgar law#donquixote doflamingo#amv#monkey d. luffy#monkey d luffy#lawlu#roronoa zoro#zoro#donquixote rosinante#lulaw
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
circumstantial
#warrior cats#warriors#scourge#firestar#wild how a pivotal moment for these (half) brothers had to do with their collars huh#anyway thnx for being patient w/ me thru the art drought i've personally been going thru some burnout and demotivation#so im slowly trying to ease back into enjoying drawing again on days i have the energy#unnnrelated but i have a job interview today so i hope that goes well :]
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
#good omens#´hello friends!! how are you!!#I hope you're doing well! ( ´ ▽ ` )#I have a big cough but otherwise I am good! It's nothign bad I am just very slimey#usually I am not a cough person I am not sure where this is coming from#most of the time I just get a stuffy nose#has my nose gotten stronger#but there are good news too I have already found a VERY good chestnut to put into my pocket this autumn!! its very small! (❁´▽`❁)#it's been a very warm autumn in Germany so far so it has not really felt like fall yet#but yesterday it was all rainy and stormy and I had two new books and it was the best day possible to have a slimey cough (:#and now I feel SO much autumn I am close to buying a set of window colors#I do not know what I would to with the window colors I just have this strong urge in me to buy a window color set#the last time I did a window color was at the birtday of a class mate I think she turned 9 and I made a deer#but for some reason we did this craft 5 minutes before we all had to leave so we had to carry our window color deer home wet#unfortunatly for the deer and me I fell down the stairs of her house and smeared the deer all over me and i screamed the entire drive home#which wasn't very long but it probably felt very long for the mother who had a screaming child covered in window color deer inside her car
13K notes
·
View notes
Text
does anyone know how to stop the body from keeping score? i have shit to do
#i have shit to do but i'm so bad at both going to sleep and staying asleep that it's been fucking up my life for years at this point#yes this about accidentally sleeping through class this morning but in my defense i had an atomic tummy moment at like 6 am :( which is#kind of my point? an reason for missing sleep shouldn't stop me from participating in my own life and i'm tired of rationing my waking hours#if sleep was optional i would be unstoppable essentially but alas. alack even. specifically a lack of sleep.#girl all the saints have it out for me today for skipping church on a holy day of obligation i guess. well fuck those guys.#a post
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
So we all know by now that Dazai is comfortable enough around Chuuya to show nervousness/worry.
Enough times for Chuuya to pick up on that pattern. The pattern, may I remind you, that doesn't have evident correlation to either nervousness or worry to most people. One that can even be interpreted as misplaced given the situation.
Which means that Dazai has done this in front of Chuuya so often, that Chuuya at first was hella confused, before he finally made a connection between when and why it happens. And still remembered that connection after four years of separation. Which gets us to my point:
What if this isn't the only emotion Dazai displays weirdly?
What if he has multiple unconventional patterns he displays for sadness, frustration, content, or disgust? The times he really feels them, and they become too strong for him to just deal with normally? What if these are the only times he's actually being genuine with his emotions?
And Chuuya is the only one who is familiar with them all?
Dazai would be jumping rope and Chuuya would be like, "quit sulking, let's get icecream"
Dazai hanging upside down on the couch and Chuuya going, "It's okay, mackerel. You can cry."
Dazai actually crying, full on heart-wrenching sobs, and Chuuya unironically going, "What, good news?"
It's just... comforting, for one person in Dazai's life to read him like a book. Everyone else would look at him like he's crazy, displaying wrong emotions/behaviors at the wrong time, but Chuuya knows that it's just how he processes feeling properly, and thus he's the only one Dazai can count on to put things into context and understand, which makes him display them even more openly.
Because Chuuya never shamed him for his quirks, as much as Dazai never did his.
#It's such a funny situation to imagine as well#Dazai doing the most out of pocket shit and Chuuya being like “It's okay. I'm here.”#and everyone else going like: ?????#I'd like for everyone to imagine weird Dazai quirks and how they relate to his true feelings#maybe even take moments from the manga that would be so cool#imagine the out of pocket things he does had just been him processing his feelings this entire time??#and there was no Chuuya to tell us#I mean seeing Dazai roll around with any ADA member would have made that a “haha quirky Dazai moment”#Instead of. Oh. He's *actually* worried.#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd hcs#bsd headcannons#bsd analysis#J's post#J's writing ✍🏽#Edit: as one tag said I just described autism lmao
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
witcher giiirrllll
#ciri#cirilla#cirilla of cintra#witcher ciri#the witcher#wiedźmin#the witcher books#yeah i hit her with my modern au beam. what about it!!#the image entered my brain spontaneously as usual#anyways ive just been getting my gf into the witcher#which is my favourite book series of all time#and ive alwas wanted to draw stuff from it but back then i had less time and skill to do so#so anyways#we played tw3 as well so this is also me separating the games visuals from my book interpretation#art#fanart
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
i listen to fog lake too much
#falls through the ceiling with a mighty crash hello#it's been what...8 months?#I was too busy w uni and being mentally ill#thank u everyone so much for the tags on all prev posts.. i re-read them oaccasionally 💗#they make me v happy thank u for giving me a moment of ur time#that means so much#anyway! vashwood!!#i hate them so much#i want to eat them#i want to ugly cry#i want an ideal world where they could've had something for a little bit#im eating drywall and pacing around the room in a cold sweat#so trimax-atypical overt intimacy it is#more coming...in maybe another year#It's a big project!#to me. yeah#my dream is to be put in a terrarium for a while#if only u knew how many wips I have w vashwood..#maybe i'll get tired and pile them into one post all unfinished and no less ok for it yk#whatever u r doing doesn't need to be perfect to make someone happy#didn't u experience a positive little zap from my imperfect colored doodle rn?#what a speedrun of a drawing that was#(<spent 10h on it. that's the minimum for anything ever)#hope today is treating you well! so long stranger!#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trimax#trigun#tzarrz
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Ten and Missy! Our Halloween costumes 🥰
#doctor who#missy#tenth doctor#cosplay#thoschei#it's hairy Ten and green eyed Missy but close enough!!#let it be known that I did buy blue contact lenses for this but for some reason they wouldn't stick to my eyeballs!!#I still owe you all a Clara and I'm working on it 😌#We've been really busy so I'm proud and glad we managed to pull these off on time mid move 🥰 we had so much fun#I want to give Missy another go at some point with the lenses and better hair and her hat and umbrella and more accurate make up tho#the suit is also really big on me so I had to pin it everywhere and pose strategically and edit some pins out lmao#I didn't have time to fix it!! but it worked out well enough I think#wait also do you see my single silver hair in the front?? I've been protecting it with my life I love it#personal#nips photos#nips blogs
790 notes
·
View notes
Text
Burning Rotten Bridges
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
To anyone who wants to talk shit about bad story/character development in Deadpool & Wolverine CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP! I CAME TO SEE 2 HOURS OF DEADPOOL MAKING META & SEX JOKES AND HAVING HOMOEROTIC TENSION WITH WOLVERINE AND MARVEL DELIVERED EXACTLY THAT
#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#deadpool 3#I don’t care if the story isn’t endgame-levels of angst or whatever#you know guys just because the MCU isn’t doing well doesn’t mean they had to release another Endgame esque movie for redemption#MAYBE I JUST WATCHED IT FOR A GOOD TIME#AND NOTHING ELSE#ISNT THAT CRAZY#but yeah I loved the movie#wolverine#genuinely though the movie could’ve been 2 hours of gay sex and not much would have changed#I came to see deadpool & wolverine and got Deadpool & wolverine#for once#true advertising#loved this movie#WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK#also cassandra nova#can we talk about her?#I like her#I like how VIOLATING she was#cassandra nova
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
2015 called, it wants its cloudball back. redrawing things yet again.....
original here
dress design by @rumminov
#jade harley#homestuck#hs#skaia#prospit#rumminov im sorry for tagging you in homestuck stuff in 20 goddamn 24#lovisas art#i think ive been redrawing my old stuff so much bc i remember how much fun i had when i did it before and want to relive it#and im having a fucking blast!#also while im proud of what i made i still see things i would do differently today#and if you think thats boring well. too bad#99% of my art is solely for me#dwi
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Silco SO should've haunted the narrative in s2 I can't stress this enough. Like, we knew Vander, Mylo and Claggor only for 3 episodes, but their presence was felt aaaall throughout s1. And now you're telling me that a PRIMARY ANTAGONIST of s1, a leader of Zaun, Jinx's dad and The person who started the negotiations with Piltover for Zaun's independence only got a couple of mentions?? Which aren't even relevant to the plot or character motivations??? Are you LEGIT FOR REAL kidding me???? I still can't believe this happened chat.
He's literally a part of the main cast. He literally was present in every single episode of s1. And again, given just How Much was tied directly to him his death should've had just. Massive consequences. For almost every single character. And yet.
My honest reaction to this information:
#i'm obv not talking about fights for power in the undercity because they couldn't have possibly skipped through this part. i'm talking about#Literally Everything Else. he should've been there. he should've haunted the narrative like he's still alive.#first and foremost i'm ofc talking about fishbones because. yeah. i'm actually preparing a post about it so *wink*#sigh i'm so angryyyyyyy. not only because i'm a silco fan but because i like good writing and haunting the narrative is one of my favorite#tropes. and it was SO well executed in s1 and i just. what stopped you from doing it again????#and you had a great reference too???? i just don't get i genuinely don't#arcane critical#arcane season 2#silco arcane#silco#arcane#side note: ugh it's so satisfying so use these gifs i can't
753 notes
·
View notes