#I guess this is what happens when you have a unique point of view

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

Part 4 - Citroën Makes Grace Jones Swallow

Car development is a process so large and complex that it's easy for a wrench to end up in the works. However, the new sedan's project feel more like fate had flipped its toolbox and was frantically shaking it onto Citroën.

For starters, the US banned the height adjustable suspension it was entirely designed around. Land of the free my dick and balls. The car, then, couldn't be sold there - it ultimately would've required too much effort to engineer an American version using US-approved technologies like gas struts and miniguns. Not to mention rotary technology had already bitten the project in the derriére.

Its engine bay, in fact, was sized around the 2-rotor Wankel Citroën had been developing, an engine so compact that even in the pretty diminutive GS it literally looks like they took the engine out and left accessories and pipework.

Problem is, when that rotary GS did launch, it was a disaster.

70% higher price, a fuel consumption now unacceptable thanks to the fuel crisis, and unreliability -stop me if this sounds familiar- made GS Birotors such a failure the few hundreds sold were bought back to scrap -dejavu is indeed a French word- and the whole rotary project was canned. The new car, then, would have to use conventional engines, and had no room for substantial ones.

It'd have to launch for old, inefficient, inadequate engines that, being heavy to boot, further skewed the weight forward - over 70% of it loomed over the front wheels, easily overruling the direction they imparted. Power figures would take years to gradually approach sufficiency.

Not to mention, that fiasco was the financial nail in the coffin for an already struggling Citroën, which had to beg for a bailout, resulting in historical partner Michelin divesting from the company and selling its shares to Peugeot, who sought to dear God get anything out of Citroën's door.

How could its poor engineers ever fare when the project had cockblocked ambitions, a bait-and-switch layout, ancient makeshift powertrains and much less time than needed?

Still damn well, it seems.

Look at the thing. Simple, elegant, futuristic (this was 1974, remember!), so aerodynamic CX was its first name!

In fact, that focus extended to perhaps the most unique exterior feature - the concave rear windshield.

It would create a low pressure zone that would not just reduce drag, but even keep the rear window clear of rain, hence the lack of wiper!

People don't need to see from the rear window when they're not moving at great forward speed, right?

But no worries, some versions did get a rear louvre panel which definitely didn't look like it was pathetically sagging down.

Although some CXs did get a rear wiper.

The Estates.

Of course, hinged on the top, because it just wouldn't be weird otherwise.

As you can just about make out, three seat rows were available - all of them so comfortable every CX passenger fondly recalls its plushness.

Hell, each row had a sun visor per side!

And of course, the controls were...

Ahhhhh. The single spoke. The upwards radio. The switch pods. And of course, THE GAUGE BARRELS.

I guess the idea was to achieve the advantage of digital gauges, where you can look down and just see a big ol' digit rather than a needle pointing to a tiny little digit in a crowd. But, you know, before digital gauges existed. Blog comic relief @demoness-one isn't a fan though.

If you share that view, however, you'll be pleased to hear about what happened to the Citroën designer working on its update when Peugeot found out. Yes, found out.

Peugeot, in that stern, rhetorical tone that demands admission of guilt: What is that? Citroën designer Jean Giret, hastily trying to hide the thing behind his back: ...nothing Peugeot, looking behind his back at the full-scale clay model: Is this an update of the CX? Jean Giret, designer's pride getting the better of him: Yes, I gave it a hatchback so it can be more practical! Peugeot, in a tone of calm-before-the-storm conciliation: And why did you develop it behind my back? Jean Giret, reciting the known answer eyes to the ground: Because you said the CX had to be the last 'weird' Citroën and wanted to focus resources on your 205 instead of larger sedans. Peugeot: Exactly. So WHY DID YOU WORK ON THIS ANYWAY?! Jean Giret, with a dash of righteousness: Because I think this model has potential- Peugeot, raging: I DON'T CARE! Jean: You asked me! Peugeot, now fully off the rails: I DON'T CARE! I TOLD YOU TO STOP WASTING YOUR TIME ON THIS OLD THING! Jean Giret, now in full argument mode: It's only old because we're not updating it! Peugeot, frantically reaching for its spare design team: THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE NOT UPDATING IT! IN FACT, YOU WILL NOT BE UPDATING ANYTHING! I'M PUTTING MY OWN DESIGNERS IN CHARGE AND WE'RE TAKING AWAY ALL YOUR ODDBALL STUFF! What's your gauge situation? Jean Giret: Y-You mean the barrel gauges?

Peugeot, yanking nameless designer #1's attention to the case with an incensed glare: We're taking them away.

Jean Giret, arms gripped by unfaltering nameless designers #2 and #3: NO! Peugeot: What's your climate controls placement? Designer: If you take them off the center console-

Peugeot, turning towards nameless designer #4 with gritted teeth: You know what to do.

Jean Giret, kicking and screaming: YOU CAN'T DO THIS! Peugeot: And now, what's your stereo slot placement? Jean Giret: oh we've actually moved the DIN-

Peugeot, shushing him: Actually, I don't even wanna hear it. Go change it, #5. Nameless designer: I'm #7. Peugeot, snapping towards him: Did I ask? #7: Sorry.

(This last development didn't please our friend either.)

And so, with a revised interior, plastic bumpers more befitting of the 80s, and T U R B O C H A R G E R S, an updated CX was ready to roll out of Grace Jones's robomouth.

(What, were you expecting a conventional commercial from Citroën?)

And indeed, this car chewed through whatever road you threw at it to such an extent that it was class winner in the 1981 Dakar. For those who don't know their rallies, that'll be the Paris Dakar. Meaning it starts in Paris. In France. And ends in Dakar. In Senegal.

This rally goes from mud to rocks to desert and can brush a thousand kilometers of them a day. It's so grueling it has more victims than editions. And what was the CX's class again? Two wheel drive. Yeah. All this with front wheel drive.

So as you can imagine, its comfort was unparalleled. Wafting along in these positive armchairs...

...hoisted by the Turbo proudly announced both by hood bulge and wheels...

...laughing your way through rough road conditions because buddy, if there is a road, conditions are just fine by you.

Call them speedbumps the way CX drivers be speedin' through 'em.

Hell, this thing was so much of a milechurner that Hollander -and other companies shipping foreign newspapers across the information-hungry but stil un-webbed 80s Europe- figured there was only one way two tons of French pages could get to Spain, Germany, Italy -and of course vice versa- overnight.

Coachbuilder Tissier's CX Bagagere.

Now THAT is shipping discourse I want to partake in.

Every night, from dusk to dawn, two drivers and as many fuel tanks (or more!) took turns in shooting these monsters through yet unrestricted European highways at speeds up to 200 km/h (for yankees, over double your contemporary national limit). All with the company of two tons of newspapers. Or, in heavy news days, more.

Those vehicles traveled so much that, in their 3 or 4 year employment, they could rack up over 2 million kms, the 200.000km mark at which those comically stressed engines were preventatively swapped taking under three months to be reached. Not that it was much fuss for Tissier - a car could reach its doors in the morning and leave with new engine and gearbox by noon.

Which however prompts the question: how in hell did you tow this when it broke? And well, when you CX your way into a problem...

...you CX your way out.

And yes, every one of those wheels -including the trailers'!- was fitted with hydropneumatic suspension. And it was worth the bother. I've read a driver recalling the time one of its tires blew up. At 150 km/h. On a corner. He described bringing the thing to a stop as, I quote, "child's play".

That's an important thing in a job so deathly dangerous every new hire was shown a yard of wrecks to sober them up. Especially considering all the experience those new hires had needed was a regular driving license. Sheesh.

If this was to be the last weird Citroën, then boy oh boy did they quit while ahead. But was it really? Well, we'll find out next time. Stay tuned.

Hi I really like this blog and since you're also a European you might actually have an answer

What's your favourite Citroën? I'm really partial to the 2010 era Picassos mainly because it was my first car.

INTRO - Citroën Makes a(nother) Cubist MPV

I'm also quite familiar with the C4 Picasso, as I've mentioned before, and its predecessor the Xsara Picasso, as I've also mentioned - the latter actually being the first car I was there for the purchase of! I remember it rather fondly, but looking back at it it was a rather cheap vehicle, with levers that snapped off, rear trays that popped out, and the overall feeling of being inside an electric toothbrush upon exceeding highway speed limits. And of course, the repeated engine failures that pushed us to update.

The C4 Picasso had its flimsy and questionable bits as well, but much less so - though, unlike its progenitor, it did once leave us stranded, the clutch living up to the C4 name. But hey, it was one time. And it had some cool features, even beyond the piéce de resistance brought up in that post. The little side pods containing the climate controls...

...the integrated perfume offered by a little capsule we definitely bothered to get refills for, as perfectly illustrated by this lovely YouTube thumbnail...

...a trunk light that detached to become a flashlight, a handbrake I once again dare readers to spot, gloveboxes atop the dashboard, and yet more still... including, perhaps most importantly, a windshield so humongous that it required a two-stage sun visor.

I am a big believer in the power of glass when it comes to improving a car's experience (see how hard I raved about a sunroof) and this really did do much more than give the car alopecia.

But it could only bring so much excitement to a cheap, anemic MPV in the famed grey I've gone over my distaste for and an interior color best described as "dirty interior".

The design of the C3 Picasso, which I seem to be completely alone in appreciating...

...was apparently inspired, along with Smeg fridges, by iPods (and judging by these pictures, the car's size seems to be somewhere between the two).

And, well, my hazy recollection of our C4 has it feeling a bit closer to an iPod bootleg - a funky, ambitious design writing a check that its build quality couldn't quite cash.

And indeed, that chapter ended when we weren't willing to fork over for the nth repair. But since the dealership offered us such a pittance to trade it in, family friends were able and willing to muster a better offer and so it lives on under their ownership. I'm happy about that - and, since we let it go before I began driving, I would be curious to give it a try. But it's no love of mine.

And not because it's too everyday a vehicle to be that - I don't need a supercar to get excited.

But, as we'll see tomorrow, it does help.

[essycogany]

Rare But Not So Rare Sonic Moments Being Both Extroverted And Introverted

Game!Sonic is more of an Ambivert then you’d think.

Disclaimer: My opinions on Sonic as a character tends to be mixed since I didn’t grow up with this franchise. Forgive me if I have conflicting points of views on this blue brat with his inconsistent characterizations.

I’m not expecting everyone to agree with me. Sonic being an introvert is such an agreed upon head-canon in this community. But I would like to fairly appreciate both introverted and extroverted sides to Sonic. I couldn’t pick between the two regardless because Sonic’s character has always been everywhere, but I like the blue hedgie in general. So, I’m going to gush about both of them.

Traits

This is my personal take, but I’ll do my best to describe them. I’m not speaking for everyone who caries these. To not make things complicated, I’ll use two characters who fit each personality trait the most. In my subjective views anyways.

Introvert: Someone who isn’t outgoing. Who prefers to be alone in their thoughts then be surrounded by people. Introverts spend time with one or two people instead of large groups and gets exhausted by social interactions very quickly. They also don’t like getting too much attention from others either.

Shadow and Whisper

Extrovert: An outgoing person who prefers to be with others and thrives in hanging out with large groups of people. Extroverts enjoy social interactions and can start a conversation with most people. Their energy is gained by spending time with different people and getting attention from them.

Tangled and Amy

Ambivert: A mixture of an introvert and extrovert. They enjoy both stimulating and none-stimulating environments. Can start a conversation with strangers, but enjoy doing their own thing. They gain energy by being in small or large groups simultaneously.

Sonic and Tails

Where Does Sonic Fall Into These Categories?

Let me start with Sonic X’s Sonic. For this analysis, it’s important to discuss different mediums of him to get my point across clearly. I might get off course and discuss how certain characteristics are due to the personality more then what normally falls into personality traits. Hold onto something!

Sonic X: He doesn’t enjoy people praising him and mostly talks to people who speaks to him first. He tends to not be much of a chatter box and is not in the show as much as you’d expect. This Sonic prefers to go off on his own then spend time with his friends at the beach in one episode. In another Sonic bails on his invitation to meet the President in order to spend time with his new friend, Helen.

Showing how he prefers to be with a few amount of people then with a group. He even leaves the group in a bunch of episodes to have his alone time. Sonic also doesn’t like hugs all that much unless he’s protecting someone, (mostly Amy) but I’d say that falls more into personal choice more than having to do with him being an introvert. Especially since he hugged Chris in one episode.

Even in Sonic’s more extroverted depictions he can be awkward with hugs. That being said, my hot take is this Sonic is one of two variants who fully commits to being introverted. Which is not a surprise because of reasons I’ll get into later.

Here’s where I’ll talk about his extroverted variants. I’ll start with Movie and Prime Sonic, since they fall into this personality trait the most.

Movie!Sonic: He lived alone for most of his life after his caretaker “Long Claw’s” sacrifice. Sonic had to raise himself by watching action movies on his soon to be families television. Due to his lack of interactions, love, or anything outside of being alone, he has a mental breakdown and his powers takes over his emotions. Causing the entire world’s lights to shut down.

Once he starts meeting different people he gets ecstatic and has fun with the situation. Getting into different shenanigans with his soon to be father, Tom. Again, Sonic Wachowski has been alone for years. Which makes his reasons of being extroverted make sense.

Prime!Sonic: (I deem this version of the character as not canon, so I’ll treat him as such.) Prime!Sonic is naturally affectionate and open towards anyone and everyone. Even Eggman by the end of the show. Like Movie!Sonic, he hates being alone and is very optimistic when it comes to interacting with people. The First Episode of the show: Sonic: “Are you ignoring me? You’re ignoring me. Why are you ignoring me?! WHY IS EVERYONE IGNORING ME?!”

He inspires others to become their better selves because he reaches out to them and often talks about trust and expressing yourself. Almost every Sonic does, but this energetic ball of stubbornness is the least subtle about it. His naivety seems to be both the worst and best aspect of his character. Worst because it gets really repetitive and best because you can understand how much compassion he has for people.

It getting out of hand at times is more of a flaw in the writing then the character, but I digress. I’d say Prime!Sonic is very emotionally honest with himself, but even in the show he internalizes his emotions at times. It’s not often, but still happens. Proving you don’t have to be introverted in order to want to keep your emotions to yourself.

Ep 3 Of Season One: Nine: “Are you okay?” Sonic: “Yeah, I’m fine.” Obviously wasn’t true. You can tell when this guy is holding back his emotions. All be it not perfectly.

Every Other TV Show Or Comic Depiction Of Sonic: Even if these adaptations are different in some regard, they all carry the core extroverted side to Sonic. Just not as much as the first two.

They are way more egotistical and wants to be the center of attention. (Archie!Sonic is literally a celebrity in his universe.) Likes their alone time, but mostly hangs out and fights with friends. Talks to a bunch of people, and so on.

Let’s finally get into the main canon Sonic.

Game!Sonic: Sonic is 100% an introvert in his Japanese depictions. It’s the same story as Sonic X. In terms of how Sonic’s written in the country he was created in, he is a complete introvert. Like being shy when it comes to being complimented (especially when people view him as an authority figure) In the American dubs before Pontiac and Graff wrote for the games, Sonic’s almost the same way. But as time went on especially during IDW’s run, Sonic tends to be pretty extroverted. It’s mostly how he’s depicted in the west if the examples before means anything.

Even beforehand he’s been more extroverted then one would think. He talks to strangers and in almost every game meets someone new. He doesn’t get exhausted or needs solitude afterwards either.

Sonic always could be around more than a few people at once. Sure, he doesn’t mind being alone, but again you don’t have to be an introvert in order to enjoy being alone. And there are plenty of introverts who talk a BUNCH with the people they’re most comfortable with. Then extroverts who can take the time to listen to others when needed. It all depends on the person.

That goes for Sonic keeping his emotions to himself. No matter where people fall, some may feel the need to keep their emotions to themselves. Extroverted or not. Especially since Sonic from X has expressed himself before. It’s just not as common for him.

I also feel the blue hedgehog does it so everyone else can keep their heads up. His own included. I understand if anyone doesn’t agree with that take though. The classic era is a good example his ambivert traits as well. He starts out as a none talking loner, but soon starts talking and meeting different people. These are reasons I believe Game!Sonic’s an Ambivert.

I believe Sonic’s a leap before he thinks kind of guy and is bad at expressing himself. He can sometimes be talkative. Especially when it comes to going back and forth with other characters. Villains and rivals to be specific. Sonic’s stubborn about his morals and will stop at nothing to keep those morals. He’s introverted enough to take some time to himself and do things his way without anyone to stop him, but extroverted enough to inspire strangers to become great hero’s themselves.

Let me simplify it even further. The situation is Sonic getting praised by a crowd of people.

X: Gets overwhelmed and runs away.

Every Other Variation: Appreciates the praise and maybe even start flexing to boost his ego.

Game: Would humbly appreciate the cheers and probably leave or stay. It depends on his mood.

I don’t know if I got my point across very well, but I did my best. I honestly believe I might be alone with this take. Hope my rambling didn’t get too out of line.

Stay Creative! 💜

[nawoken]

How will the NRC boys react when you overblot with the thought of suicide?

I don't know what I am doing, but since many people are interested in Suicide Overblot Reader, I will write something for it then. Reference to this post.

I think I will try to do all of them. I hope...

Some might be OOC because I don't understand their character enough (Trey and Cater in this post case), sorry if it bothers you guys.

I don't really write it as platonic or romantic, try to keep it neutral so u can read it the way u want?

Warning: Mention of suicide, self-destructive, angst, depression(?), blood,... a bit heavy thought I guess?

Part: Hearslabyul

Riddle

- When he reaches Ramshackle and sees you got overblot, he is uneasy but still remains calm and serious.

- Slightly think that part of this is his fault for not paying more attention to you. He knows that you had to bear a lot of things lately, with school, with Crowley's unreasonable quest,...

- But, he has to stay strong, he has to, he is a Housewarden after all.

- But... when Riddle sees you hurt yourself, he is stunned and terrified. This can't be happening, it shouldn't be.

- He hears your faint cries about your insecurities, your fear of being a burden... and your wish to disappear.

- It makes him heartache, wonder what has made you reach this point. Then, it hit him, every word he told you when you guys first knew each other, before his overblot, and before he changed.

- This must be his fault, he has hurt you... Riddle lost in his guilt, almost overblot right then and there.

- Even Trey can't pull him back to reality, but Ace's punch can.

- "Stop blaming yourself, don't you want to save them?" It actually helps Riddle calm down.

- Riddle braced himself, he had to make it right, so he could apologize to you properly.

- You got him traumatized. And you guys will also have a longgg conversation after things end.

Trey:

- He is... a lil bit shocked and worried about the situation. But, years of taking care of Riddle and his maturity helped him stay calm.

- Even when you hurt yourself, he only flinches a bit before pulling out his pen and trying to destroy the black inky thorns without hurting you.

- Things get worse when Riddle loses his sanity and starts to blame himself while Ace and Deuce lose their cool, kicking and fighting to get to you.

- Try to calm Riddle down. But it's no use.

- Ace's outbursts still make him surprised every time, but at least things have become more stable. They can focus on the main problem now.

- He keeps calm through it all, but when everything comes to an end, he falls to the ground and exhales all his built-up tension.

- He will check in on you a lot more. Reaching out to you, asking about your day, and baking you a lot of treats. Become your figure mother at some point...

Cater:

- Like Trey, being the third-year he is, Cater is much more mature and reliable than he seems.

- Use his unique magic, protect the first year, and even try to lighten the mood while keeping an eye on you.

- He is not too worried since everyone is gathering here, to save you! So nothing can be wrong... right?

- The moment he sees the blood splatter out of your body, he inhales sharply and trembles slightly before turning around to block the view of the freshmen.

- But he fails to keep them from the view, so now Ace and Deuce go berserk. At least Epel and Jack are still sober enough to hold the duo back.

- Multitasking. Become much more serious.

- After it all, he won't force you to tell him things but he will talk with you a lot more, maybe about this funny meme or some new trend on Magicam. Do his best to make you laugh.

Ace:

- He first tries to joke about this when he sees you in your oveblot form. Act cool and funny but can't hide his care for you. Swear that he will knock you on your head a few times for making them worry sick.

- The moment you hurt yourself? Ace and Deuce tried to rush toward you but got held back by other first-years.

- Scold you, told you to stop hurting yourself, and even threatened that if you don't stop he will fight you...

- Also scold you for being stupid. Yes, you're magicless but you also have survived many life-or-death situations that even a pro mage can't. You're not useless!!!

- Asked Riddle to do something just to find out his dorm leader is having a mental breakdown right there.

- He punches Riddle (the second time), how can he act like that when you're still in danger?!

- Ace also cooled down after that, he left the job of returning you to normal to the Dorm leader while helping others destroy those blot-made thorns to prevent them from hurting you.

- You guys will have to talk a lot after this, and you know can't avoid it, Prefect.

Deuce:

- His face turned pale the moment he saw you. Out of anyone, he doesn't think you're the one who got overblot.

- Especially when you stab yourself, he lost his mind. The moment he runs out to you, Epel holds him back. Others told him to calm down, to make a plan.

- But, Deuce can't even hear a word, all he can hear is your whimpering and the scene of the thorns lunging through your flesh keeps playing in his mind.

- Like Riddle, he also blames himself. The difference is that he blames himself for not looking out for you more. You guys have been friends since the beginning and you are always taking care of them, but they have failed to do so for you.

- The guilty feeling building up inside him made him mad, he wanted to punch, to fight, to take his anger out on something.

- After the "fight" between Riddle and Ace went off, Deuce finally calmed down.

- After things end, the moment you back to normal, he will immediately run to you and hold you close, afraid that if he lets go, you will disappear.

- Says sorry to you again and again...

- Become a bit paranoid and protective after your suicide attempt.

____________

5.C: This took me forever to finish, now I have 17 more to finish. Gotta say, Riddle is the easiest person to write about.

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

How the Arknights Community was Wrong on One of Arknight's Most Powerful Classes

Or, alternatively, you all need to apologize to Rosmontis right now.

Flingers are experiencing a modern Renaissance right now. Thanks to the release of Wis'adel and the introduction of Rosmontis's absolutely busted IS module, it seems like things are on the up and up for Flingers. Even Greyy the Lightningbearer is a common sight in high level IS runs, and he doesn't even have a broken module.

How on Earth did this happen, when it wasn't very long ago that Flingers were the butt and punchline of their own joke?

The Original Let's start with how the archetype was introduced into the game: Rosmontis. Rosmontis was released alongside Mudrock for the Chapter 8 release event, and the reception was pretty mixed. Rosmontis was a limited operator, and to this point, limited operators in Arknights had been pretty middling. Nian wasn't really conclusively better than Hoshiguma, and W was good but nothing special. We were not at the point yet where Dusk or Skadi the Corrupting Heart had been released, so the running joke was typically to roll on the other operator on a limited banner. Mudrock was a really strong laneholder that still sees a lot of use today, and Weedy is by far the strongest shifter operator ever released.

It's also worth noting that Rosmontis was released during a general downturn of opinions on AoE ranged operators. Leonhardt and Meteorite were considered actually quite strong in the early days of Arknights, and I know this must sound crazy, but Mostima and W were actually super hyped for their release. People thought Mostima, base-ass Mostima with no modules, was good. But after CC Blade, and a general stint of CCs where AoE operators made relatively poor performances, the tide had shifted. Operators like Eyjafjalla and Angelina (god remember when Angelina was considered really good. Well I guess she is now. Regardless) had AoE capabilities but were much cheaper in DP and had solid secondary skills for dealing with single enemies. So people were generally pretty down on AoE operators, which wasn't helped later on by the release of Passenger, an operator considered so bad it resulted in several attempts by Hypergryph to make him better (the retrospective view is that while Passenger was bad, he was made out to be a lot worse than he was, a view I agree with).

These two factors did not help the views of Rosmontis as an operator, but it was also further not helped by what content was available to use Rosmontis in: Contingency Contract. Rosmontis, tragically, released after the first theme of Integrated Strategies came and went, and so the only high level content available to use her in was CC. CC is particularly harsh to Flingers as we'll discuss, but this is also something that Wis'adel has managed to avoid as there hasn't been a CC since her release. The only difficult content since Wis'adel's release has been IS and RA, two game modes that honestly favor Flingers as we'll discuss later on. There was just nowhere to use Rosmontis in more difficult content where she didn't feel bad.

Flingers are a pretty interesting subclass, and Arknights has really not designed any subclasses to be like them, ultimately. They have a very impressive attack range, higher bulk than other ranged operators, and a unique gimmick to their attacks: they will deal an additional hit of damage, but one that only has 50% of their ATK. In addition to this, Flingers are the only Sniper subclass that cannot hit aerial enemies without certain conditions being met (Wis'adel's S3, Rosmontis S3 with an aerial blocker).

In general, this results in a class that is very good at dealing with large groups of enemies with only modest DEF stats. This is because DEF ends up having an increased effect on Rosmontis' damage, because it will apply to both of her hits. An enemy with 375 DEF will, after the 175 Def ignore from her talent, reduce her attack damage by a total of 400.

This for a lot of people was sort of the final straw that broke the Rosmontis back. Her vulnerability to enemies having DEF was a problem, and it was generally stated to be in a way that other DPS checks would avoid. In addition, if we take a look at ideal DPS scenarios with the introductory 6-star for each Sniper class:

Ray: 1,346.22 Narantuya: 1,062 Schwarz: 880.28 Exusiai: 815.99 Chen the Holungday: 647.17 Rosmontis: 601.71 Fartooth: 583.88 Rosa: 539 W: 373.93

Rosmontis is very middle of the pack, losing in particular to Exusiai. Now, Exusiai also had the problem of being very soft to enemy DEF stats. Honestly, it should be noted that Rosmontis was always hitting higher DPH than Exusiai would for her normal attack damage.

(I've been getting really into Desmos lately)

Now this is all just auto-attack stuff and I don't want this to be exclusively a Rosmontis analysis by any means (although it's coming). The point here is that there was a pretty common conception that Rosmontis didn't really have a place in the meta, because Exusiai was so dominant in that spot. It's not hard to understand why. If we look at their S3 DPS really quickly...

At low DEF values, Exusiai is overdominant. This isn't super surprising, as she has a lot of factors working in her favor: a busted 5 hit S3, an attack interval reduction as well as a sizable ASPD buff from her talent. But it doesn't take a huge amount of defense for Rosmontis to come out on top. The specific DEF number is 580, roughly. Then, the perks of Rosmontis's S3 come to light: it's larger DEF ignore, it's halved attack interval, and it's much larger ATK buff.

This being said, there are still things working against Rosmontis, like her skill cycle being very long, and her own ATK buff resulting in Warfarin's buff being diluted compared to Exusiai. If you take a look at CC results, it is true that Rosmontis only has one top to her name: CC Spectrum, where she is part of a Risk 31 clear alongside Exusiai, which is pretty cool. But CCs, which often increase enemy DEF while reducing friendly ATK, are just very harsh to Flingers. Given that it is a class so sensitive to DEF and ATK changes to hit breakpoints, most CCs just hit Rosmontis in a double bind.

Funnily enough, Exusiai also doesn't have any top clears in CC past this point too, which is interesting to point out.

(For those counting: Rosmontis: CC5 Exusiai: CC1, CC5)

Rosmontis' position probably wasn't helped past this point by the release of Chen the Holungday either, and the rest is history. Rosmontis goes down as one of the weaker 6-stars in the game. People feel bad when they roll her. People on this website nurse weird ass grudges against her.

The Blip

It would be remiss of me to not remind people about Greyy the Lightningbearer. Greyy was a 5-star, which means that 99% of players ignored his existence, Gamepress made a dogshit summary about him that was made by people who don't play the game, and life moved on. We're going to talk about Greyy in more detail later on because he is important to talk about...

Oh well right now

Lone Trail: The Update That Should Have Changed Everything

Lone Trail was a super massive event, releasing three 6-stars that can be kindly regarded as "good but nothing amazing, bad, and my wife". It also introduced to the game the Flinger Modules, and I'm going to tell you all a secret. You and me, real close now.

It's fucked up these modules didn't receive more hype.

These modules gave Flingers a second shockwave hit. Now that doesn't seem all that impressive. After all, you might think to yourself, that shockwave still deals 50% damage. But the addition of an extra shockwave really changed the numbers of the game, because it meant a huge chunk more damage.

At minimum (673 DEF roughly) this module improves her damage by about 45%. That's pretty crazy for a module as it stands, but if you want to see the full chart, here you go. Arknights Youtubers hire me.

The extremely high peak there, where Rosmontis is doing more than triple the damage she was originally is actually getting to the exact point where Rosmontis without a module moves towards dealing scratch damage. This is pretty common with modules involving physical DPS operators, such as Blaze, to have very unique high points.

But this is 45% just off of, what is essentially

An extra shockwave

60 more points of DEF Ignore

+75 ATK attribute

This is a remarkably tame talent upgrade. The base effect, the second shockwave, is pulling so much work here. These numbers will be a bit more tame when you compare with S2 (already comes with +2 shockwaves) or S3 (already has some DEF shred) but this is still a very impactful module.

It also impacts the stun chance on her S2. Without her module, and having 4 total hits per attack, this puts her stun chance at roughly 59.04% per attack. The additional hit raises those chances to 67.232%. Not a massive increase, but it does help to patch up her odds.

This is also why Greyy's module was so important. Greyy's slow is tied to his talent, and hence the jump from 2 hits to 3 hits is very notable. Without his module, Greyy has a 64% chance to slow the enemy with every attack. With his module, those chances go up to 78.4%! That's pretty significant! He also deals 15% more damage to Slowed enemies too, which is a pretty strong mod on top of the extra shockwave. I haven't actually done Greyy's numbers, but it really does make him a lot more consistent at slowing enemies.

So now we're here, with Flinger's getting a surprisingly good module. They now deal 3 hits per attack, with Rosmontis dealing 5 hits per attack with her S2, which is actually relevant for Lone Trail (Rosmontis can remove a clean 250 DEF with every one of her attacks during her S2 against Arc Screenguards). So what happened?

Well...Flingers weren't popular, were widely regarded as a flawed class, and mostly passed over. It just wasn't worth it to people to raise Rosmontis or Greyy the Lightningbringer even if you had some inkling their module was good.

The Return of Integrated Strategies and Reclamation Algorithm

A miracle the likes of which Hypergryph may never do again...well okay maybe they will, they do be kind of nailing it on the alternate gamemodes, we have the return of Integrated Strategies and Reclamation Algorithm. These modes are actually uniquely situated in comparison to CC to benefit Flingers over other classes. This is largely because of how these modes chose to scale difficulty and the tools they give you to combat this.

In IS, enemy difficulty typically results in scaling HP and ATK buffs, and that's it. It's rare to see enemy DEF buffs in IS. In addition, many relics in IS focus on increasing ATK or ASPD or improving damage dealt. Flingers get much and much better when they deal damage with their shockwaves, and it is pretty easy to do that in IS. Rosmontis's S2 is of special note here: with her module, it deals 5 hits of damage, which means it benefits from ATK buffs to the same degree as Exusiai does, but with a lot of added perks. DEF ignore, a moderate AoE radius, and a chance to stun. This skill is way more dangerous with additional ASPD.

Greyy also benefits a ton here. Extra ASPD allows him to basically permanently lock down entire groups of enemies with slow. This is something that can also sort of be done with Chain Casters, but notably, Chain Casters can only slow down a certain number of enemies at a time with each of their attacks. Since slowed enemies tend to create clusters, Greyy can slow down entire waves of enemies with his attacks, while still dealing pretty impressive damage.

The only issue is the aerial enemies. I haven't mentioned this up until now, because in my opinion, it is the single most overhyped drawback in the entire game. There are tons of events and chapter releases where this basically doesn't matter. Aerial enemies are, for all intents and purposes, rather rare in Arknights. But in IS this is important. Flingers need some degree of map knowledge to use well. But your Sniper ticket is not necessarily the only solution to aerial enemies in any IS, and chances are you'll find more than one. For IS3, you can pick up Kroos Alter and Rosmontis and in the grand majority of situations be completely fine.

Of course, if you play IS5, this basically isn't an issue and Rosmontis is the second stronger Flinger in the game, and I think arguably the second strongest Sniper pick?

I almost forgot RA by the time I went to post this, so it's a good thing I went back because, yes, Flingers and Rosmontis are also good there too. It's literally designed for Flingers to be good, it's huge mobs of enemies all clustered closely around each other. You can use Provisions to give Rosmontis a ton of ATK or ASPD and watch her go ham on like 115 exploding spiders. They also have amazing range for vision on resource maps and have multi-hit mechanics for those stupid locks.

It's like, impressive how nicely Flingers slot in here. I'm really curious how Greyy feels when you give him one of the ASPD provisions so he has +60 ASPD.

Rosmontis CRAVES your Coagulate Supplements!!!!

The End-Times: Wis'adel and Rosmontis's Busted Module

If you've ever wanted to know how we got to this renaissance, it was Wis'adel being released, having absolutely busted numbers on her kit that basically ensured that her shockwaves would always do damage, and then going and soloing IS3 A15 like it was fucking nothing.

Wis'adel proved Flingers could be fucking fantastic.

Rosmontis has actual problems in her kit, she's ultimately a pretty early Limited operator with all the design choices that carries. Wis'adel is what you get when you ask "how far can a Flinger go?" The shockwave mechanic works well with her huge numbers and her shadow status effect. Her summons work to keep as many enemies as possible attached with a shadow. Her blast radius is massive. Honestly the fact she can blow up the UFOs in IS3 barely matters.

Soon after that, Rosmontis got her specialized Module. I've seen people complain about this. You're wrong. There's no fucking way this module should be allowed to be used in general content. It is, in fact, maybe the most busted specialized module they've released. It completely changes Rosmontis as an operator. Benefitting from Caster relics is insane for themes like IS3 which has a ton of genuinely broken ones, her new and improved equipment are insanely powerful, and the fact that she allows every Sniper and Caster to create a free rather tanky blocker with a crazy debuff effect is like

You understand this module is nuts? Surely?

The trait wouldn't really make Rosmontis meta anyhow. It would improve her damage by a lot but puts her, rather frustratingly, into the camp of mixed offensive operators who now have to worry about enemy RES values coming into play. Plenty of the enemies with decent DEF stats that Rosmontis struggles with now also come with sizable RES stats. As I've mentioned in my brief thoughts on Dagda, there are a ton of enemies Dagda hits harder by brute force than Indra does by trying to side-step the bigger stat.

It's also okay that the module is IS only, because IS is where Flingers are just at their best. Nothing is stopping you from using Rosmontis in general content, especially with her still really good BOM-X module!

Flingers, ultimately, are just a well-designed class. They have great range, AoE, and having extra instances of damage is always incredibly powerful. I do think Rosmontis has some kit issues, but I also think that a lot of people immediately dismissed her as bad based on community consensus. You want to know a cool thing about Rosmontis I haven't brought up yet? She can attack invisible enemies with her S3. Invisible enemies feel a lot more common than aerial enemies do, hell Lappland the Decadenza's event is literally a bunch of invisible enemies.

But like, that's never seen as a positive to Rosmontis unless you're a Sniperknights player and then you might just say Totter is better (and I get that, he is a bit more consistent). Rosmontis can hit an entire enemy type with her S3 that Wis'adel can't, but it's seemingly never mentioned. It's just...this community is very strange, you know?

Try Rosmontis out, hell try her out with Shamare or Warfarin. If you use Exusiai a bunch (godspeed soldier it's been rough since the Chen days), you probably already have those operators. Try Greyy out too. Then, if you really want the challenge, E0 Level 1 Wis'adel. Come on. You know that's better than like half the cas-

[punksocks]

Astrology Observations: No.28

*just based on my observations, only take what resonates

(Sorry it’s been a minute, I got my time back then I got sick- like same day! I’m good now, thank god, but it was absolutely insane and everything has been going on in the world, my God)

-If your moon opposes your ascendant you may be known for making the wrong impressions on people (especially first impressions) at some point in your life

-Not the first time I said this but I feel like Libra Asc tend to need to balance out aspects of their life more bc of their houses having the opposite signs over them.

-On the other hand I feel like Aries asc have a very straightforward, sometimes less complicated world view bc of their houses lining up with their traditional rulers.

-Mars in determemt and fall (Libra, cancer, 12th house) really gives you a finite amount of stamina

-I feel like cancer venus/moons tend to wax the most poetically and romantically about the nostalgia they feel. Even stronger for Venus.

-Men with cancer placements be like: I didn’t know I was manipulating you into being nice to me until it was already happening (lmao oof)

-I noticed Aries and Scorpio Sun men/masc folks can get romanticized a lot, I think this is bc their identity is ruled by mars traditionally, so they tend to be assigned more masculine traits/act their traits out in a more “traditionally” (or even just comfortably) masculine way

-Aqua Sun/asc/venus usually have some features that makes their face really stand out I noticed (unique brow/nose/head shape etc) (idk why I haven’t seen this with moons as much)

-Signs in your 8th house may come off as mysterious or hard to understand

-You may find it really easy to vibe with people that have Sun conjunct your Asc

-I’ve noticed that a lot of Virgo mars may eat like really spicy or punishing foods (especially if the mars is in a fire house)

-Saturn aspecting your big 3 can help you age really well- depending on how well you take care of yourself (extreme example: dick van dyke, he’s almost 100 and he’s still jumping around with so much energy)

-Pisces placements can be like incredibly intelligent and yet still come off as a bit spacey (one of my favorite YouTubers used to head extra credits and he is SO SMART, like just a seriously huge capacity for knowledge but he sounds spacey when he does his chill gameplays and pieces things together unscripted lol)

-Jupiter square/opposition Sun can make you come off as overly pessimistic, it can also make you come off as optimistic at the wrong times (laughing at serious moments, etc)

-Taurus placements are so motivated by food, it’s so real (the amount of times I’ve had a Taurus sun/moon/mars not hear a word I was saying bc they were scoping out a restaurant? Countless lol)

-I notice a lot of rappers & musicians (especially the innovative ones) have major Pisces placements

-Aries moons get emotional fulfillment by winning what they chase after (Aries in big 6 tends to make you go after things in general too imo)

-I noticed sometimes Leo moon can make you a bit self centered, like in the most literal sense, you may have trouble understanding perspectives outside of your own

-Virgos and Geminis and 3rd/6th house placements have great memory but they tend to forget certain aspects. They tend to forget or mix up details. (My ex took like 3 years to remember my middle name beyond the first initial lol god; also, I always remember zodiac signs but not birthdays lol)

-I love how Joe Pera has a cancer Mercury and his comedy is like the coziest comedy I’ve ever heard, he even got his following bc his helping people fall asleep and just talking through his chill podcast (did not expect him to have like the most fire in his chart tho?? Wouldn’t have guessed lol)- Pisces Mercury and Mercury with hard aspects to Neptune probably have a cozy affect on others when they communicate with them too

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Review

firstly, i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has taken an interest in and encouraged me in doing these liveblogs! this has been such a fun project to work on, and reading these books for the past nine months or so has been a bright spot in what has otherwise been a relatively tough period of my life. i’ve really enjoyed getting to theorise about all of the lore of these books and make horribly ill-advised emotional attachments to inevitably doomed characters

more fun statistics that no one asked for: this liveblog was the longest, at about 20,000 (!!) words. my GtN liveblog was 12000 words for comparison. i have no excuse other than i like to talk

NtN definitely was an interesting diversion from the other two books so far. it wasn’t exactly a breather, since it was still incredibly heartbreaking and horrifying, but it was fun to see a part of the worldbuilding very different from what we’ve seen before. as much as I missed both Harrow and Gideon, i liked that it gave other characters time to shine outside of interacting with them. it was fun to see more of Palamedes, Camilla, and Pyrrha, and how those characters act in a vastly different environment to the Nine Houses

although NtN was essentially telling two different narratives, John chapters vs Nona’s, it still didn’t feel particularly disjointed - i think it was thematically held together by being a bit more grounded than the other books so far, sci-fi and fantasy elements notwithstanding (contemporary issues like climate change and nuclear war, & John’s world being a setting far closer to our own vs Nona’s domestic life & very real problems of living in a warzone)

i also loved getting John’s perspective in the chapters narrated by Harrow, his point of view and recollections were equal parts funny, terrifying, and fascinating. he’s certainly got a … unique perspective on the world. it was just a slow horrifying journey trying to figure out how the world ended, knowing that it was doomed but not exactly how it happened

Muir really has a talent for endearing you to a protagonist, and Nona was no exception, I absolutely loved her, and just, her whole story and how tragic it was physically hurt me. i also wasn’t expecting to get as attached as i was to Hot Sauce and the school gang - i hope we get just even just a mention of what happens to them in AtN

tldr: 11/10. reading this series is like the emotional equivalent of voluntarily getting stabbed in the heart repeatedly. i have absolutely no clue what I’m going to do with my life now that this is over for the meantime, other than go crazy in a locked room with a red string conspiracy board trying to figure out whats going to happen in Alecto the Ninth

speaking of, obviously its not a pressing issue since to my knowledge there isn’t even a release date yet, but i’m not sure if i’ll do a liveblog for Alecto when it comes out? on one hand the most fun bit about liveblogging has been the reaction from everyone who’s already read the books and we’ll all be in the same boat of not knowing what’s going on when Alecto comes out, so i don’t know how much of a point there is? on the other i would very much enjoy doing it anyway, and i’m a perfectionist so it would be nice to have completed all of the books like that. so i guess it depends on how impatient i am to read the whole book when it comes out lol

[aclowntiny]

Hello!! I'm a baby Atiny and it has been some some weeks that I've been in love with the boys. I really love and appreciate them. I wanted to know if you'd be able to write ATEEZ reacting to their crush being allergic to flowers. I always read reactions and of course, flowers are a beautiful gesture, but it's actually funny when you're allergic haha.

Welcome to the ship of fools 🏴‍☠️😆 gotta know friend, who's your bias if you have one? So glad to see more atiny joining!!! 🥰 also I love your idea, that's such a funny & unique one! Also enjoy this wonderful shoot including my favorite picture of Jongho ever

Ateez Finding Out Their Crush is Allergic to Flowers

Hongjoong

It was going to be the perfect moment: the dashing protagonist winning his love interest with a heart-fluttering gesture: a single red rose presented with just the right flourish.

Or so Hongjoong thought.

“For you,” he almost whispered, holding out the rose with a smile and a darting gaze between the ruby petals and you.

“O-oh,” you stutter, taking the flower and twisting it nervously in your hand, “thank you. Hongjoong, this is so- achoo!” You can’t even get a full sentence out before breaking into a sneeze, even the small amount of pollen tightening your sinuses. You were worried this would happen, but come on, look at the man standing before you! You had a huge crush on him, and maybe, just maybe, he felt the same.

Hongjoong’s hand fell gently upon your shoulder as your body was wracked with another sneeze, taking the rose back from your hand. “You’re allergic, aren’t you? From now on,” he chuckled, “no more real flowers, then.”

“What, you were going to get me more?” You asked, arching a brow at Hongjoong, who held the rose away from you twisting in his left hand.

“Only if you liked the first one,” he replied with a shy smile, gaze drifting from yours.

“I do, though!” You protested despite yourself. “Roses are my favorite. They’re so…so romantic,” you blushed.

“It was supposed to be,” he whispers, eyes and smile both widening as you take his empty hand in yours.

“I have some good news, then, you tell him, “You know what’s even more romantic?”

“What?”

“I have no problem with dried flowers, so you may hold it for a while, but I can press it and keep it forever.”

Seonghwa

Seonghwa had a surprise for you. This was the night he planned to confess to you, and for the occasion he’d bought the biggest bouquet of roses he could find. Ok, not the biggest, but a dozen very wide blooms that he hoped dearly would get his point across. As he went to pick you up, he hid the flowers gently in the back seat, laying in the dim light out of your view.

“Hi,” you greeted gently as you slid into his car, bringing an instant smile to Seonghwa’s face.

“Hi, how was your day?” He asked, gaze alternating between your lovely eyes and his rearview mirror as he backed out of your driveway. “I mean, I know you said work wasn’t great, so I wanted to cheer you up, but what happened?”

“Well, our management is just not great, and today we had five callouts, so…” Your words continued, but as you spoke, Seonghwa could see every time you passed a streetlight just how moist your eyes looked. How red.

He reached over, resting a hand on your shoulder. “Hey,” he said softly, “it’s over now and we’re going to have a good time tonight, ok? And I’m here to listen, so no need to cry.”

At that, your head snapped up in confusion. “Cry? No, today was stressful but I’m happy it’s over. I’m not crying, my allergies are just going crazy for some reason. It’s weird, I wasn’t outside for too long, but I guess the flowers must just be going.”

Uh, oh, did you say… “Flowers?”

“Yeah,” you nod, blinking, “they make my allergies flare up.”

A pang of guilt hit Seonghwa- he was only trying to brighten your day! “Uh,” he took his hand off your shoulder, gripping the wheel again and jerking his head toward the back seat, “I didn’t want to give you your surprise this early, but I think I went with the wrong surprise. Take a look in the back seat.”

He chuckled nervously as you turned around, starting as you burst into laughter. The noise was so sudden yet genuine he soon joined in.

“Oh my gosh, no wonder!” You breathed in between laughs. “I didn’t think I’d passed anything! You really got those to surprise me?”

“Unfortunately, I did,” Seonghwa chuckled, shaking his head.

“No, no, I needed the laugh,” you reassured him, “and they’re beautiful.”

Seonghwa looked at you intently. “Not as beautiful as you.”

Yunho

“Yunho, I have that cake I promised you!”

Your friendship with Yunho, you always joked, was based off of cooking. Ever since he found out you had some skills in the kitchen, you tried out new things to make him and brought it by when you hung out with your mutual friend, now friends, from his group. Not that you minded seeing Yunho more- he was super nice, maybe even the nicest in the group as you would quip, the man practically not letting you move a muscle and letting you get away with murder in the dorms. That was why you wanted to make him a cake, in fact. In your last message to him, you told him you would bring it.

“I thought you might say that,” he shot back, “which is why I got…this!”

Whirling around, reaching for something on the table, and whipping back to face you, Yunho produced a bouquet of flowers that he held out your way with a look of comical pride. The moment they (almost) hit you, your face contorted and you instinctively turned away as if struck.

“Whoa, did I scare you? I’m sorry, I just wanted to thank you with something pretty for always being so bright and kind.” The way his face fell had your heart shattering.

“No, no, please don’t think anything bad,” you waved your hands, “I react quickly like that when I see flowers because I’m allergic. I- I didn’t want to sneeze on the cake and ruin it!”

“O-oh,” he stuttered, running a hand through his hair and freezing for a second before darting forward to collect the exposed cake on its tray from you, “I see! Well here, let me get this! And don’t worry, I’ll hold onto the flowers and get you something even better!”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” you denied, playing with the hem of your shirt and rolling your shoulders at freedom from your burden, “I really am happy to bake for you.”

“And I,” Yunho countered, leaning a bit closer to you with a beam, “am happy to shower you with anything that shows my appreciation!”

Yeosang

“Oh, (y/n), there you are!”

Turning around, you see Yeosang crossing the café toward where you sat, hands behind his back. “Oh, yeah sorry, I kind of hid from you! I thought a corner table might be nice.”

He smiles at your words, momentarily distracting you from what he was hiding. “That’s perfect for me.”

“Good!” You clap your hands. “Wanna do our usual?” Your usual meaning getting two mini-desserts and splitting them.

“Of course I do,” he replies brightly, “you’re the only one who’ll do that with me!”

“That’s because they can’t get on your wavelength,” you mock-brag, crossing your arms.

“No,” he muses as he lowers himself into the chair across from you, maneuvering his hidden arms carefully, “and I really appreciate it. Maybe you know it, but just in case you don’t, here.”

With that, before you could even ask him what he was hiding, he whips out a beautiful bouquet of pink and white flowers, roses, freckled lilies, and dainty white violas standing out to your eyes. And your nose.

“Oh, these are so-achoo!- beautiful, Yeosang, I really love the- ACHOO!” How embarrassing, you thought, here is he giving you something so beautiful and your allergies are keepong you from appreciating it. You sneezed once more and Yeosang’s brows furrowed in concern.

“Oh, are you allergic to something in here? I had no idea, I just wanted to show you some-”

“Oh, don’t apologize. Achoo! You didn’t know,” you replied, voice starting to sound stuffy, “and I really appreciate the gesture. Can you just take them back for a second and-”

He pulled the bouquet out from near your face immediately, handing you his napkin, which you gratefully accepted. You wanted a hole to open below you and swallow you up, but your heart and breaths calmed a bit when you saw how fondly he was still looking at you.

“I hope this doesn’t mean I have to take back my confession, too.”

San

“Thank you so much for coming, (y/n). It really means a lot,” San told you as he rounded a corner towards a road ending in a wooden arch.

“Of course, San, anytime,” you answered, clutching the basket you’d offered to hold for him on the drive, “how could I not? It sounds like fun, I can’t believe no one wanted to go with you for a farm day!”

“Right?” He agreed, eyes shining. “On the pick your own day nonetheless! But that means I get to have even more fun with you!”

Your heart swelled at San’s words and the excited motion of his hands- he really was a sweetheart, you thought as you pulled through the wooden arch with the farm name on it. You could see it was European-inspired judging by the font of the arch lettering and stylings of the little cottage and barn. This would be an adorable day.

The moment you parked and got out, however, you felt that weighty feeling in your skull that usually symbolized your eyes swelling. As San brought you to the back of the farm by where a family was heading, baskets on all five of their arms, your heart fell.

It was a field of tulips, three of them to be precise. Rows of red, then yellow, then pink, all dotted by excited people with clippers and all but tinting the air yellow with pollen. A strangled sound left your lips as your eyes burned, and San couldn’t help but notice.

“(y/n), is everything all right?”

Your hands folded nervously behind your back as your chest hammered. It felt so bad to ruin this for San- could you even do it?

“I’ll be fine,” you brush it off, “my flower allergy is just acting up.”

San’s jaw drops. “What? You have a-” He shakes his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t ask. I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s completely all right, we can just-”

“Go to the peach picking instead,” he finishes for you, “you’re more important to me than some flowers I can get in a shop. I’d rather we make a good memory together than just get some flowers, ok?”

He’s greatly rewarded for this when you lean in and kiss his cheek. “You’re so sweet, San. That sounds great to me.”

Mingi

“Alright, are you ready?”

“Yes,” you giggle, eyes firmly closed as you sat in the passenger seat, “I can’t wait to open my eyes again!”

“But no peeking!”

“No peeking,” you repeat as you feel along the rough strap of your seat belt until your finger finds the release button.

“Good. Wait there and I’ll come get you,” Mingi says, and you hear the driver’s seat door open. Moments later, your door opens as well and a hand finds yours, wrapping around it and pulling you out of the car.

The moment you stand up, Mingi’s hand falls gently across your face, covering your eyes which flutter open into a warmer darkness. Your feet don’t falter as he urges you forward on clearly excited footing, bringing a smile to your face.

“Wait until you see it, (y/n), it’s so beautiful! Just a few more steps here,” he says as he guides you up a slight incline. The ground beneath you feels like…dirt?

Your eyes itch beneath their human mask, and they start to feel heavy. You blink several times and Mingi catches it, hands faltering a little as his steps slow. A few eye-watering steps later, he bids you open your eyes, the warmth lifting from across your face as your head tilts to take in Mingi’s huge smile.

“Well? Don’t you think it’s pretty?” He holds out an arm, proudly sweeping it over a stunning view of hills dotted with small purple flowers, one of which you stood at the foot of.

“Yes, it’s…it’s gorgeous,” you blink a few more times, tears stinging the corners of your eyes as one falls.

“Wait,” Mingi’s smile drops, “are you crying? You are crying! What’s wrong? Do you not like it?”

“No,” you smile, wiping the unshed tears from your puffy eyes, “I love it, Mingi, really. I’m just allergic to flowers is all, so my body has a funny way of showing it.”

His eyes widen slightly. “Oh. Oh, (y/n), I’m so sorry, I didn’t know! We can take pictures from far away, here…” His hand falls on yours again, this time tugging you away from the hills like they had the plague.

Chuckling, you dug your heels in, sending him reeling to face you. “Hey, I’ll be fine for some pictures in them as long as you don’t mind a few sniffles in between. I don’t look puffy, do I?”

Mingi shook his head, squeezing your hand. “You look gorgeous.”

Wooyoung

Subtlety be darned. “Hey (y/n),” Wooyoung leaned on the counter, “what’s your favorite flower?”

Your gaze turned from the microwave, where a bag of popcorn was popping. “Well, I really love orchids, I think they’re so pretty, but I’m allergic to flowers,” you answered with an alternate smile and frown.

Internally, Wooyoung smacked his forehead. What other kind of romantic gift could he get you to express his undying love for you and get you to go out with him and fall for him too and- oops, you were staring at him as he froze.

“Why?” You asked, tilting your head slightly.

“Oh,” he stuttered, “no reason. Uh, do you, er… like chocolate?”

“Are you trying to shop for me or something?” You asked with an amused smile, head leaning on your hand, elbow bent to hit your zone of the counter.

Well, he had said screw subtlety. “I was, but if you’re going to be so difficult,” he teased, sauntering over to you and wrapping his arms around your midsection and turning toward you, voice warm against your ear, “I’ll just give you a different token of my affection.”

Before you could express your surprise, he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Hope that was alright.”

Blushing, you nodded.

“Good,” he grinned with satisfaction, arms still around you, “because I’ve figured out your gift, too. I’ll get you an orchid necklace. How’s that for flowers?”

Jongho

“Getting flowers is the best feeling,” Seonghwa had said, to the agreement of the few other guys involved in the conversation.

“I wouldn’t know,” you joked, “I’m allergic, so no one’s ever gotten me any before.”

Gears turned in Jongho’s head the moment you said that, even as surprise fell across his face. “You’ve never received flowers before?”

“No,” you shook your head, “most people just know I can’t get them, I guess. Too bad, huh? I bet it does feel nice.”

Well, if Jongho had anything to say about it, you would find out.

~

“I- I got something for you, (y/n),” Jongho tells you, one hand behind his back.

Your jaw drops, hand rising to your chest. “Me? What for?”

“Because I really wanted to get you flowers,” he replies, taking his right hand out from behind his back to reveal a bouquet of the most realistic silk flowers you’d ever seen, a gorgeously vibrant splash of purple, yellow, green…

Your hand falls in shock, then rises again to caress the soft, lovely, and above all hypoallergenic blooms, chest ballooning with warmth. “You did this for me? These are beautiful, just as pretty as the real thing,” you gushed, “thank you, Jongho!”

Before he could reply, you leapt up, throwing your arms around his neck in an embrace he returned with his flower-free hand around your back. As you pulled away, he looked at you, eyes smiling.

“I’m really glad you like them, (y/n). You know, I like these too. They’ll never die this way. It feels poetic somehow, doesn’t it?”

Heart skipping a beat, you nod, reaching for his hand.

[straynoahide]

tolkien meta: the melodic structure of the ainulindale, arda's endgame, and the doom of men

so basically this is about what one can learn and connect to the rest of the legendarium's lore from the ainulindale, and also peer into tolkien's psyche as a side effect i guess. expect excessive theology or more fun imo philosophy of divinity and lengthy tangents about melkor, the nature of evil and theodicy

a small disclaimer - this touches thorny topics in philosophy like the problem of evil, the nature of redemption/salvation, death...

this isn't about my beliefs but presenting and reflecting on tolkien's own within the history of ideas. i acknowledge anyone who reads this also has their own, and can agree or disagree with tolkien. my views may seep in unintentionally but i try to go deeper than that.

pd: I write Eru/One/God indistinctively on purpose. it's for rhetorical emphasis, not so much out of (default cultural) christianity.

part I - introduction (in this post) part II - the themes/structure, discussion part III - discussion (cont): themes of arda and life part IV - discussion (cont 2): theme of the children part V - discussion (cont 3): aftermath/second music

Introduction (i rec reading even if you're versed in the lore)

for those who are not so familiar with parts of the legendarium but still interested in a deep dive, the ainulindalë ("song of the ainur") is the creation myth of tolkien's world.

i rec just reading it if you haven't even if it's after reading this. it's quite beautiful and unique and it's brought admiration even from ppl who study that kind of thing professionally about real cultures. i'm not given to flattery but idk just check it out.

so anyway, the ainur, spirits born from the One creator's mind directly, sang under (or despite) His direction and the melody (both harmony and discord) that resulted, is the history of the world.

by the world we have two concepts here, the entire universe (eä) and the planet (arda) 'earth', of which middle-earth is a later-stage continent. the music itself was a creative process that the ainur partook in before knowing the full implication of their singing.

God showed the ainur the vision of what their music had created and when they saw the world they wanted to live it, to dwell on it and experience it.

God granted this but said they had to remain in it until the full music, the full story had played out.

this includes everything that happens in the Silmarillion, the LOTR movies and sequels/prequels, the TROP series, games, etc, and in some stages of Tolkien's opus, our own world (WWI, WWII, etc).

the Discord refers to the rebellious effect of Melkor on the music as much as his part of the music - the dissonance born from his part's coexistence with the rest of the melody that is in harmony, and takes a 'life of its own'.

this is not unimportant, but i'm not going to discuss it at any point. i will point out here that it has been argued -controversially- by some people to be relevant in compatibilizing or explaining otherwise difficult-to-reconcile lore points that deal with "non-Melkorian evil". this is about things like Ungoliant or the nameless things 'whose mention darken the light of day', whose in-world origins are unclear.

on a broader note, this represents two very different intuitions about evil and divinity (Tolkienian v Lovecraftian, we could say). these are difficult to compatibilize and more than Tolkien's psyche, represent ancient tensions within monotheistic religions themselves, i think. so within Tolkien's world, which has an Abrahamic/monotheistic god, you still find traces of Lovecraftian horror.

all that follows is about Tolkienian evil (meta) i.e. Melkorian evil (in-world), that is uncontroversially and explicitly under the governance of the One, although non-Melkorian evil is a fascinating subject.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Something that really ought to be said more... it's ok not to understand. To never understand even. (In the case of the reblog, understanding sex / peoples' fixation on both it and romance, but it can apply to anything.)

People can give all myriad of reasons they do or like something, but that doesn't have to change your mind about how you personally engage with it.

I think the only case where understanding matters is insofar having a greater understanding helps limit how much people hate something out of ignorance, but that isn't foolproof (people can understand and still double down, which I've seen happen a lot towards every hated group under the sun).

Aspec or not, your cultural upbringing and how you physically perceive intimacy of all kinds is going to affect both if you enjoy it and how you understand it.

For many, sex and romance isn't an important goal but a thing that just happens. The uniquity of it with "life" is worth questioning, especially in cases where people feel pressured to perform and participate in sex and romance. But for many it isn't something they plan for at all. They may include it in fanfiction or fanart (and yeah it absolutely is prevalent in that space the same way edgy ms paint furry art was prevalent in the early 2010s) but that inclusion is not a message to onlookers that they must themselves aspire to a relationship like the one depicted.

Thank you so much for this, it feels sincerely validating and... Yeah, like you said, it ought to be said more.

I gotta admit it's hard sometimes not to want to understand, when (as an aro/ace person, that is) you're pretty much incentivized to do so at every turn. Even if you're lucky enough to not have been treated as a prudish freak for expressing you're aro or ace, and finger-pointed with a "You should try to understand people's point of view better" (sic: very few people try to do the same for you)... Society is portrayed as just working that way, putting romance and sex as #1 priority is portrayed as "the normal thing to do", and in my own experience and a fair amount of aros and aces around me, it seems, it's not just "included" in fanfiction or fanart, it's... Aggressively prevalent. Like, 95% to be generous, possibly more. And it's not just fanwork either. Fiction and art in general are loaded with it. So... Yeah, it's kinda hard sometimes NOT to take all of this as a message that this is what we should aspire to and the way we are isn't valid.

But then even if you're lucky enough, like I am, to FEEL valid despite all that, it's still... Lonely. I wanna understand because some days, a lot of days, it seems it's the only thing people actually connect over, and even if I'll never feel the appeal, I wanna understand the logic behind it, at least that much, so I'm not made to feel like such an alien for wanting to focus on other things. I wanna know the reasons.

Another more personal thing is that when I was growing up as an aro-ace, before I figured myself out, I thought everyone else was blowing things out of proportion to an abnormal degree without realizing I was the "abnormal" one, and that lead me to see breakups with a very "well, duh, that's what people do, they break up" outlook and not understanding the devastation behind it. I've gotten better at it, but there's still a lot I just find myself smiling and nodding to without really getting it, and that hurt too, to a degree. I feel cold to my friends and to other people.

I know I shouldn't, because I am who I am and I don't love them any less or am any more unfeeling than them, and I know I guess I shouldn't feel too guilty for not understanding allo people because allo people in general, exceptions aside, will make little to no effort to understand me back, but... Yeah, it's hard not to, a lot of the time. So being told it's OK is definitely valuable and a relief, even if it won't make that feeling go away in me, it's still a relief. Thank you.

[ballinandcantgetup452]

The Last Will and Testament of Lex Luthor, Part 2

Throughout the oncoming weeks, Clark didn't stop thinking about Lex. Not to an obsessive degree, mind you, but he always occupied the back of his mind. The more that he thought about it, the more that he realized that there was a very strong potential that he even liked Lex. At first, he thought about what made Lex unique as an antagonist to him. Clark first started at his inherent greed. How Clark's very existence turned Lex more and more bitter by the day. He then decided to push past that initial disdain he had for Luthor. Upon further digging, Clark had realized that he admires Lex's inherent determination. While Clarks' very existence as Superman did make Lex more bitter, it also pushed him to become leagues more innovative. He even thought about how Lex even has pride in things beyond himself. He realized that the one thing they both have in common is a love of Metropolis. He really thought about how other criminals tend not to come to Metropolis. Clark realized that he hadn't seen a non-native Metropolis villain in about 5 years. Every villain that Clark had stopped in the past 5 years has either been alien, small gangs using alien tech to get big, or somebody under Lex's payroll. By the end of the week, Clark had gained a sudden admiration of Lex. That wasn't going to stop him from stopping Lex and anything else he had planned, mind you. But he hadn't really realized that admiration until now.

Upon fully finding this out, he would discuss rogues with anybody he was sharing monitor duty at the Watchtower with over the next few months, to varying results. There honestly wasn't really any common ground in regards to the league's rogues galleries and their opinions on their biggest rogues. There were people like Kyle, who didn't really have any rogues, but just kind of viewed taking in his reoccurring villains as part of the job. Arthur felt somewhat responsible for Black Manta. Then there were people like Wally, who had shared Clark's old views about Lex, but to an even more extreme degree. To be fair, having Zoom as your biggest rogue is bound to wear you down on your fondness of them. Clark became really fascinated with this and was oddly enamored as to how nobody really shared his opinion on their biggest rogue as he did with Lex. 

After a few weeks of asking random leaguers their opinions on their rogues gallery, Clark, Bruce, and Diana meet up on the same gargoyle in Gotham to have their monthly meal and meetup. 

Diana took a bite of her greasy burger on the rooftop, "Bruce, I know that Gotham is so bad that it's literally been described as cursed, but a burger like this is almost worth living here."

Bruce stood on a gargoyle, his cape flapping in the wind. It was almost intimidating until you noticed the chocolate milkshake he was drinking. Clark, sitting criss-cross in mid-air, just so happened to do so. 

"Bruce, I thought you were keto?"

Diana went to defend Bruce, saying, "Leave him alone, Clark. He literally jumps from rooftops every night and does more work than probably all of us combined. I don't think he needs a diet yet."

Clark shrugged, "I guess it's just odd to see The Batman sipping a milkshake."

Bruce quit sipping his milkshake, "Dick put me onto it. When he was a kid, we would go here on Friday nights after patrol and share a milkshake. Or to put it honestly, I watched him drink a milkshake and gave him constructive criticism on what he did wrong that night. I still come here every Friday night after patrol, sometimes Dick or Jason or any of my other kids are there, and we'll share a milkshake."

"I've been thinking about doing something like that with Jon. He's been getting into painting, which sounds like something Jason or Damian would be into. Any tips? Does that sound like a good idea?" Clark asked.

Diana interjected, "Look, I can sense where this conversation is going, but let's stop for a second before we get to a point where I can't ask my question. Clark, what's been up with you and asking everybody about their rogues?"

Clark finished his burger and came clean with his head down. "Lex has been gone for about 9 months now. I've been thinking about him a lot lately." Clark raised his head. "Honestly, I think I admire him. I genuinely think that we're a lot alike, and I kind of feel for the guy."

Bruce looked confused, "Why didn't you ask us?"

Clark put his head back down, "I was honestly a little embarrassed. I thought you guys might think I was crazy."

Bruce and Diana both laughed at the prospect. This raised Clark's spirits a lot.

Diana chimed up first, "Clark, the reason why I barely have a rogues gallery is because of that very same sentiment you have."

Bruce interjected, "Unlike Diana, I still have a rogues gallery. But, I feel the same way, too. It's helped a lot of people. Even Mr. Freeze is working at WayneTech." 

The conversation diverted from there to how Mr. Freeze got all of his charges dropped. But, when the dinner was over, and Diana flew away, Bruce stayed back to tell Clark one more thing. "Clark, I just wanted to tell you, it's a great thing you feel the way you do about Lex. Frankly, we're surprised you didn't already feel like that. When Lex re-emerges, and trust me, he will re-emerge, you'll turn him around. Because you're Superman."

Clark processed Bruce's kind words and hit him with an even harder question, "Do you think that you'll ever turn Joker around?"

Bruce paused, almost as if he never actually considered the question.

"Honestly Clark, I don't know. I speculate that one day one of us will kill the other. But every time I see him, I remind myself to keep on trying, just like you do.

Clark did one more patrol before going home. After beating a random rampaging kaiju in Angola, he went home to Lois. It was pretty late when he got there, so she was asleep in the chair in her bathrobe, already bathed, and waiting for him to come home so they could watch an episode of The Great British Bakeoff before bed. Clark picked up his wife and carried her to bed.

"Hey, I was watching that. I was just resting my eyes," Lois said, groggily, very clearly, in a half-sleeping state.

"Sure you were, hon," Clark said while chuckling. He put his wife in bed and joined her.

Lois tried fighting back the urge to sleep, "How was dinner with Bruce and Diana?"

Clark began to nod off, "Pretty good. I realized that I deeply admire Lex Luthor."

"You know, for a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist, you're a really slow investigator of your own psyche," Lois responded, almost back asleep again.

Clark was almost asleep as well, "so you can crack the inner workings of my mind, but you couldn't picture me without glasses for the first 2 years we knew each other?"

As Clark fell completely asleep, Lois had one last response.

"Let's not fight, I'd clearly win. Go to sleep, Smallville."

[governmentintelligence]

less a theory and more drawing connections

i literally dont know whats compelling me to make this post, but i was watching the game theory on indigo park/uniquegeese's reaction to the game theory on indigo park, and when unique mentioned that there's stuff people haven't caught on to or mentioned....

spoilers, i guess? and i have links to all the timestamps in youtube videos im using linked on the images themselves.

I thought a bit about the lloyd's limo's sign that's in storage. and the lloyd statue that's in storage.

(ID: screenshot from Youtube of backstage space Mane Stage in Indigo Park, with gold statue of Lloyd amids storage boxes with his hand outstretched and holding a microphone)

the lloyd statue very clearly looks like it used to be where rambley is now. holding isaac indigo's hand at the entrance.

that implies that the rambley statue isn't the original, and that lloyd used to be the one holding isaac's hand.

(ID: screenshot from Youtube playthrough showing golden statue of Isaac Indigo holding Rambley the Ractoon's hand and waving his other, mimicing the Disney partner's statue)

similarly, in the intro cut scene historical footage of isaac on the park's opening day, a mural of lloyd is on the wall at the entrance. when the player character visits the park, the mural in that location is of rambley.

you can really see it highlighted in this screenshot from the intro scene, as the camera zooms out from the historical footage and shows the present day indigo park website.

(ID: screenshot from Youtube playthrough of intro cutscene. Two monitors sit on desk, one showing black and white footage of Isaac Indigo speaking in front of Indigo Park's entrance on opening day, with Lloyd mural behind him. Second monitor shows website for booking Indigo Park stay with an image of the park's entrance on the website, showing that the mural behind Isaac now has Rambley.)

now, there are a few other allusions to rambley having taken over after lloyd. the painting of them both shaking hands is really reminiscent of the painting in disney's winnie the pooh ride, showing owl shaking hands with mr toad while mr toad passes along the deed to the ride. that painting is an allusion to how the winnie the pooh ride replaced the ride "mr toad's wild ride," so passing the deed is literally passing along the baton.

another is the player character's comment when you view the lloyd plush — "I feel like as a kid, Indigo used Lloyd a lot more."

what i feel is more foreshadowing to why the change between lloyd and rambley was made, however, comes from this sign that's also in the mane stage's backstage. it's sideways and the screengrab isn't the best, but it reads "Lloyd's Limos".

(ID: screenshot from Youtube playthrough, where a dirty sign reading "Lloyd's Limos" can be read between the bars of a metal frame shelf)

the idea of a limo ride immediately reminded me of Disney's California Adventure's infamous Superstar Limo which, to make a long story short, sucked ass. it was such a monumental failure of a ride for quite a few reasons and i'd recommend Defunctland's video on why it all went tits up, but the tl;dr for our purposes is just that it sucked. it was not received well by park attendees and was closed in less than a year after opening.

the comparison makes me really curious to know just what kind of ride lloyd's limos was, but knowing that lloyd had a ride that then flopped feels as if he was the main mascot until he flopped. similar to superstar limo, the entirety of california adventures was received pretty poorly upon opening.

maybe a similar expansion or rebranding was done at indigo park, while lloyd was losing popularity, and that's what prompted the switch? and maybe there's now a return to retro happening for indigo fans, as suggested by the retro lloyd plush (but not of other characters)?

either way, i feel like i haven't seen a lot of people point out the Lloyd's Limos sign and its potential ties to the old Superstar Limo ride, but i do feel like that's hugely intentional. same as the handshake painting's clear nod forward the owl and mr toad painting at the parks. im interested in seeing how these similarities might be foreshadowing or otherwise connected to the lore!!

[ethanjhake]

Personal Life Update 🙃

Well, I quit my part time job.

I've been working as a deli clerk at a local grocery store for about a year and seven months, and during all that time I've been looking for better work options, applying to different (better) jobs, and found nothing.

Working there has been a big strain on me mentally. I'm a huge introvert by nature, meaning that too much social interaction will wear me out like nothing else. Working in a customer service position means a constant flow of new people who I have to interact with, so by the end of every day my energy would be so low I couldn't ever bring myself to work on my art or comics. And originally, the only reason I left my full time job was to free up more time for me to pursue comics as a career.

Where I work, the quality of customer service is meant to be really high. Your typical "the customer is always right" type of mentality. In my training they literally told me to think of the customer as my boss, since they are the ones ultimately paying the store and me by proxy.

But having to bow to the wishes of just Anyone has moral consequences when the customer is in fact not right, and very very wrong. The more and more I had bad customers, the more and more I was forced to watch, and even enable bad behavior.

Having to do this every day was crushing for me. All the while management was telling me to keep on smiling, like nothing was wrong. I started to employ coping mechanisms just to get me through the work day, but then I started to see that creep into my personal life. My wife would get my attention, just to show me a funny meme or something, and I'd mentally wince, as if she was a customer.

I love people, they're all beautiful and unique in their own ways. But my time behind the deli counter made me start to view everyone else as a potential threat, just in an effort to protect me from having to encounter wrong doing and then be forced to stand by and smile. Or even having to ask the wrong doer if there's any way I can help them?

So I quit. Or, I put in my two weeks. even as much as it pains me to have to spend another minute working there, I thought it would be best to leave in a way that feels respectable. I also wanted time to say goodbye to good coworkers I met there, and not leave them with an empty slot on the schedule that they would have to scramble to fill.

But the big problem with this is that I don't have another job lined up, and I've been looking for different jobs for almost two years and not found anything. So the best I can do right now is step out in faith. And I guess, sometimes you don't have to know where you're going quite yet, but you can't stay in the City of Destruction.

So I'm technically "unemployed" at the moment, although I will be taking on Door Dashing as a means to make money for the mean time. And there's hope in that. It looks like I can actually make more money doing that than I was at my old job. But even then the pay is uncertain, and I have to keep an extra eye on my car and its maintenance. It does also complicates taxes some.

It feels like the Wrong Decision™ in many ways, but even then, staying feels like an even worse decision. I wasn't even making that much money there.

Yesterday my boss offered to leave me in the system, so that if I needed more work I could shoot her a text and she could schedule me in as long as she had the extra hours. And on the one hand I was tempted, it felt like it could be a good safety net if all else fails. But after thinking it over, I said no. I think God is calling me to leave for good, and to trust that whatever happens He will provide. I don't know how He will or how long it'll take, but that's not what trusting is about. And I honestly feel like that's the point of what I'm going through right now. I feel like God specifically had my boss make that offer, not as a test, per se, but more to help me understand that I am stepping out in faith, and that—even as scary as it is—I do trust him.

So today is my last day. After that I go to Door Dashing and continue my work on SotF. And I guess, it really couldn't hurt to put a link to Ko-Fi here. I'm not asking for money so don't feel any pressure, but God does provide though his people. So if you feel so inclined here is my Ko-Fi.

And here I go,

[cult-of-the-eye]

inspired by @archivus' statements, i decided to give it a try myself

tw for depersonalisation, body image issues, body horror, slight gore

Out of Body Experience

Statement of Rebekah Fitch, regarding something that wasn’t her body. Original statement given 5th March 2018. Recording by [REDACTED], Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, Manchester. Committed to tape 26th March 2024. 

Statement begins. 

I never thought I would end up like this. I just-

I guess I should start from the start. 

Throughout my life, I’ve had a complicated relationship with my body. Not to get too, um, personal or anything, but let’s just say it's tough being the child of an immigrant mother, especially, well, my mother. She would make comments about my body, small ones, I’ll admit, but ones that certainly built up to…recent events. On top of all that, I spent a lot of my teen years dissociating. Tricking my brain into believing that I wasn’t real. That nothing was. It’s a bit difficult to solidify an image of your body when half of you is ashamed of it and the other half doesn’t even consider your ownership of one. Ownership. I guess that’s sort of where it all began. 

It was sometime in January when it all started to go wrong. I don’t exactly have a habit of staring at myself in the mirror, in fact, the only mirror I own in my cramped little flat is the bathroom one. It’s somehow always stained, a fact which I hesitate to admit helped me live with my…issues. The point is, the majority of the time, I didn’t know how I looked.

And then one day, I watched myself wake up. 

I remember exactly how it felt. You know how people sometimes slice oranges in half and then take the peel, dig their fingers into the sides and push, letting each segment split from the other, hungrily leaning up towards you? That’s how I felt. Inverted. Wrong. I saw myself in a way that I had never, ever seen before. Each and every part of me that bulged where it shouldn’t have, thinned and yellowed at the edges like a fruit in its off-season. Whatever was happening to my eyes didn’t hurt, exactly, but I could feel every single part of my body as if it had suddenly awoken from a deep unconsciousness. It disgusted me. The life of it all. I panicked, of course, I thought I was having a really, really bad dream and that all I needed to do was wake up. But, no matter how many times I attempted to shield myself from the view, no matter how many times I willed every single synapse in my brain to connect and let my goddamn eyes close, nothing happened. 

That nothing was the most excruciating nothing that I had ever experienced in my life. I was forced open, boneless and writhing. The me on the bed that I was watching slept soundly. 

I don’t remember when I snapped out of it. I don’t remember how long it had been. I sat up, drenched in sweat, determined to be rid of the one mirror I had left. Putting it in the bin didn’t feel as triumphant as I believed it would. I guess part of me knew that this was no one-off. 

Ok, I know what you’re thinking. It could just be a hallucination. I could be traumatised or mentally ill or on drugs. Well, I’m actually all of those things, which means that I have the unique ability to prove you wrong. I know what a hallucination feels like, I know what drug side effects feel like, and I know what my episodes feel like. And this? This was entirely separate. I don’t have to tell you that it happened again. I don’t have to tell you that I went from GP to GP, therapist to therapist to find out what was happening to me. But I will end this with proof. 

Statement Ends. 

Post-statement records include a medical report of one Rebekah Fitch. It outlines a series of scars of unidentified means on the underside of her eyelids, spelling out the phrase “I know that I exist.” Any attempts to follow up have led to dead ends. However, I’m afraid that I may be able to guess how this one ends.

[daydreaming-scheming-demon]

i hate mainstream appeal, or at least an extreme and intentional amount of it. actually, hate isnt a strong enough word. despise. absolutely fucking despise.

so many companies just do not care for experimentation, and whenever they do the experimentation is barely anything. i see this in so much stuff, in how cgi and specifically certain styles of cgi has taken over cinema to the point where the few 2d animated films, especially the western 2d animated films, just dont do as well, even when they're popular IPs, because cgi has become standard. it aint an animated film if it aint cgi.

and not just cgi, but a very specific style of cgi. you see it in everything. it started with toy story, when toy story did it, it was great. it was original. it was actually trying something new. but then they kept doing it, and then every studio joined in when they realized it was cheaper. not just cgi but a specific style of cgi, not necessarily even the cheapest style, just a very mainstream one. i see it in encanto, in turning red, in inside out. dont get me wrong, i dont think this style is bad or that these movies dont still have unique aspects of their style, but you cant deny the similarities, and more importantly, the reason for those similarities, that being a need to appeal to the mainstream.

and it's annoying, and it bleeds into the story too, into the characters. they never pass a certain boundary, trying to stay firmly away from controversy, within the confines of family friendliness and a mainstream understanding of concepts. and this is restricting in some serious ways. to clarify, i do not want them to swear, i do not even want them to show blood or a whole lot that would get labelled as too mature for children. i just want them to not shy away from vaguely controversial things, to not be afraid of issues beyond a mainstream understanding, and to not cater to such a simplistic and common worldview so dramatically.

one of the things that makes stories, and media in general, so special to me, is their unique perspectives. i see this a lot in indie projects, and the contrast between them and big budget hollywood films is startling. i get a feel for such unique individual perspectives in indie projects, even the bad ones, and i guess that's what happens when the team is smaller or it's mostly only one person working on the project, because we're all unique, im sure even the individuals who make up the mainstream audience have unique perspectives, but that just doesn't come across in these larger films, or games, or anything really. anything disney, or nintendo.

and sure, you could say this is just because it's a smaller team. and im sure that's a contributing reason, no doubt. but the thing is, the contrast in worldviews between some of the more personalized large projects and the things curated to the tastes of the masses. take gravity falls for instance, a disney IP, but not one considered enough to bother curating at the time, just a show, not a film at the cinema. the style of cringe comedy it has, the way it tells stories and reveals mysteries, the absurdist view on the world it has, sure, it has a lot of people behind it, but a unique perspective on the world comes across well. the same with something like spiderverse, which is a big budget film, but damn did they know what they were doing.

and the unique perspectives disney films have on the world? well, they're there. there is kind of a difference, but it's barely as drastic. you can tell it was kept within tight confines, unwilling to present anything that the mainstream wouldnt easily comprehend, agree with, or find appealing.

and that's just so infuriatingly limiting. you can say it makes sense because the kind of person this is appealing to is like, the most common kind of person. that fact probably even plays a part in why these movies and other things are like this to begin with, though certainly not the only reason.

but do you not think the common person deserves more? deserves to be presented with things outside of their understanding? or comfort? i dont just interact with media that fits my own beliefs and perspective, yknow. because i think it's quite a good thing to do that.

i just, ughhhh. the mainstream bugs me so much. i dont even think a lot of these things are necessarily bad. encanto had good songs, inside out 2 dealt with issues of anxiety well within the limitations of mass appeal, turning red actually mentioned periods which was a small and good step outside the usual boundaries. but they just, they rub me the wrong way, yknow. they all do. most of the big live action hollywood movies too. same with many kinds of games, especially nintendo games. i just hate it, it's so limiting on our media, it's why i mostly just go with independent stuff, because that way i can see more unique individual styles, ideas, etc.

and yknow what? i do actually think they should maybe show a bit of blood on screen for these movies sometimes. and go beyond the concept of family friendliness. because all that stuff is a load of rubbish in my eyes. beliefs that got too out of hand and have so much wrong with them. yeah, i think we should pass those boundaries for big media meant for the mainstream. not with everything, but definitely with a lot of things.

this was just a random rant about something i hate that i wrote in one take, dont nitpick with any details you think im not 100% correct on please. this isn't supposed to be a perfect critique of mainstream media, this is just me venting. okay?

[hms-no-fun]

Do your political views influence your writing? and if they do, how so?

this is sort of a tough question. i mean obviously my political views affect my writing, i believe that's true of every writer. the "how" is throwing me for a bit of a loop though. maybe partly because pretty much my only public-facing writing at this point is godfeels, which really isn't indicative of the kind of stuff i spent my entire pre-transition life writing. which actually makes it harder for me to introspect on the subject because transition brought with it political radicalization. i'm not just a woman now, i'm a communist, and i've spent a lot more time thinking about propaganda and hierarchies and economic power dynamics. so i'm definitely more intentional about this stuff now... what the hell, let's give it the ol college try

i'm typically drawn to characters in working/middle-class positions, because those are the people i've spent most of my life around. everything i write is at least partially autobiographical, as seen in the vast majority of my pre-transition protagonists being sad adolescent/twenty-something boys crumbling under the weight of social expectations they have no interest in meeting but can't imagine an alternative to. it is frankly extremely funny how much of my early fiction was about characters who desperately wanted to transition but utterly lacked the language & framework for doing so... because i also lacked that knowledge. i have multiple hundred+ page books that i never finished because i guess i couldn't even let myself imagine what the logical conclusion would be.

in my subjects, i've always had opinionated characters who got mad about social ills. a loooooot of my old short stories started with characters arguing about politics. i was raised secular and grew up in the bible belt during the bush years. i've always had a strong moral compass and a tendency to Say Shit, and that absolutely comes through in everything i write. it's an impulse i have to tamp down on a lot, because as tempting as it is to get all your hits in whenever you can, a lot of times they come across as infantile and pointless. you know, dude standing up and giving a Big Important Speech about whatever social ill you happened to read about on tumblr that day. sometimes you can get good stuff from that you've really gotta earn it.

my current work is definitely a lot more coherently political than my old stuff. obviously the witchkind legion is my attempt to imagine a post-scarcity communist utopia that is still deeply flawed in its own unique ways. come home, wolf was a gesture in a similar direction albeit on a smaller scale, imagining a communist nation funding a rewilding initiative in collaboration with a historically oppressed werewolf population. i guess i'm thinking a lot more about The Material Conditions these days. pure character drama just doesn't do it for me anymore, it feels disconnected from the real. i want to know where my characters live and how expensive the food is. and i want my stories to be saying interesting things as much as possible, instead of repeating tired tropes out of a lack of introspection.

when i went through a Social Justice arc in my mid-twenties, i really became aware of the fact that all my stories were about straight white dudes in suburban environments. i started noticing accidental racism & sexism & homophobia & etc etc all over the place, laundered in through various unquestioned assumptions and a fairly sheltered upbringing. in hindsight this is a big reason i stopped writing fiction altogether from 2013 to 2019, that i felt totally trapped by my inherited biases. funny how much changed when i came out as transgender! these days the trick is finding ways to utilize that experience constructively. for instance, as someone who once used the r-slur with gleeful thoughtless disregard, how might i go about incorporating that experience into my writing thoughtfully? there's an understandable tendency in young writers to course correct hard around The Problematic, that i think can very often result in sterile text that's too timid to grapple with real issues. there's a learning experience attached to realizing that the r-slur (for instance) isn't just a word but a historical object, a linguistic bludgeon with valances far beyond anything within my limited sphere of experience. just because i don't use that word anymore doesn't mean other people don't, and those other people are not necessarily any more Bad than *i* was as a teenager. combined & uneven development and all that.

so now with the Upsilon Kids i'm trying to deliberately explore Problematic & Troubled Teens from a place of empathy and personal experience. i'm not setting out to Make A Point mind you, but a point will be made regardless so i might as well put some thought into it. this is another place where it's REALLY IMPORTANT to have a check on your political impulses. it's extremely easy for the desire to Make A Point completely override character voice and dramatic consistency. this is why we practice and try new things and challenge ourselves as writers, so we never feel like we've got it all Figured Out for too long.

well i hope that was a useful and not totally embarrassing answer because i'm going cross-eyed now and i absolutely don't have the attention span to proofread all that lmao

[ryuichirou]

So what do you guys think about the relationship between the Tweels and Azul ? not in a shipwise way but their Dynamics in general?? and their said "friendship", lots of fans already made lots of statements/theories about their "relationship", some genuinely think their friends, while others think the Tweels might turning on azul in the future

The Tweels have openly statted that they might leave Azul behind if he becomes boring BUT at the same time the Tweels stuck around even when azul overblotted and floyd even said he is even willing to put up with boring things because the outcome is always fun and the Tweels even got worried when they heard what happened to azul in chapter 6

BUT then again it is also stated that the Tweels favourite food is octopus which is kind of worrying?? jade also upfront stated in chapter 4 that he does not trust making a contract with azul with lending his unique magic, which is also kind of telling of their so called "friendship" ??

i guess on "human" standards they aren't really "friends", but both the Tweels and azul grew up in the coral sea which is all about survival since in the sea its "eat or be eaten" kind of thing, so they might view things like friendship (or even Romantic) differently than us humans?

that said their relationship is probably either pur business or mutualistic

what are your guys thoughts ?? how do you view their "friendship" ??

Hi Anon! First of all, sorry for replying so late: as it usually is with this kind of replies, I try to collect my thoughts and express everything properly, so it takes even more time than it usually would… but I am very happy when we receive asks like this one, because it’s another opportunity to talk about our faves.

And thank you for sharing your thoughts, we loved reading them! And you’ve made a very very good point: their so-called “friendship” could barely pass as a “friendship” by the human standards, because they are lacking some pretty important stuff that is needed to be considered someone’s friend, one of them being trust. All three of them know that the other party is up to no good and is pretty capable of using them to their advantage if there is even a small reason for that. There is never “comfort” between them, and no feeling that the other would genuinely have their back and unconditionally support them no matter what. That doesn’t mean that they don’t have any confidence in each other: they do, but it’s not an emotional confidence, it’s evidential, based on the thought that it would be illogical for the other to backstab them right now.

Based on what we know about the life underwater and considering Azul’s and the Tweels’ perception of their relationship, we can assume that this isn’t anything super unusual. Since we’re talking wildlife, one way to describe their bond would be to call it symbiosis, which honestly has a lot in common with friendship (oh no I think that was a “Terra e…” quote…). Both the Tweels and Azul have something to gain from this relationship, they are mutually beneficial, and, as long as it is, they’ll stay together.

The only thing to note is that, despite how hostile the underwater world seems to be, being with each other isn’t absolutely necessary for Azul’s and the Tweel’s survival. I would assume that Jade and Floyd’s relationship was initially like that: they survived together, because they had the advantage of hunting together. But they are no longer in danger, and Azul’s existence is mainly the source of amusement for them. Mainly, but not only that, I kinda think Azul gives them some kind of purpose, not in an existential way, but it’s just that the life underwater seems kinda dull: Floyd even complained about it being boring in ch4, but since they’ve met Azul.. every day is like a holiday LOL I might be wrong, but I feel like Jade and Floyd wouldn’t have left the Coral Sea to pursue education on land if it weren’t for Azul. And both Jade and Floyd adore living on land: it’s so interesting and fun for them, they genuinely can’t get enough of it.

Does that mean that they have some kind of emotional connection with Azul? Do they have a soft spot for him? Probably, I don’t think they don’t have any emotions at all. But would it prevent them from eating him if hanging out together stopped being fun? Not necessarily. They’ll definitely dip him as soon as he stops entertaining them, there’s no doubt in that.

Who knows, maybe they’ll consume him when he is on a death bed, as a token of gratitude for all the fun years spent together~ Poor eels, he’ll be old and not tasty anymore…  Or they could just leave him, of course :)

From Azul’s perspective, having the Tweels around is a super useful boon too, even though he doesn’t have any illusions about the nature of their relationship. I really love that Azul is aware of that: Jade and Floyd are neither his servants nor his friends, they can turn against him the moment they aren’t amused enough with his decisions.

At the same time, Azul is a super cautious and paranoid person that doesn’t trust anyone, especially the two guys who pretty much wanted to eat him and never let him forget about it, even if it’s just teasing. And it’s probably for the best that he never lets his guard down, but I still think there is some emotional reliance on them from Azul’s part. For how uncomfortable he is around these two, their presence is probably still comforting in a way. They are the closest thing that Azul has to having friends.

So yeah, in short, there are some emotions between the three, but I still like to think that things are far more sinister between them that we think.

Also, it’s so great that every person in Octa-trio knows that the other two are dangerous and never underestimates them. There is some kind of nice equality and balance in this, when Azul complains about Jade being far scarier than people give him credit for/Floyd being far smarter than people give him credit for, and Jade and Floyd talk about how Azul is untrustworthy, smart, cunning and strong as heck. And the fact that you can picture both Azul, Jade and Floyd looking at the other two, thinking “oh no these two are at it again” is priceless. A wicked triangle of sickos.

We love Octa-trio and their relationships a lot, it’s one of the cases where, despite not shipping the characters with each other romantically, we would still watch 5 seasons of a sitcom about just these three. They are incredibly entertaining and fun to watch.