#I grow tired of this physical form
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Me, currently low on spoons:
#alexa rambles#I grow tired of this physical form#I hate this body#I want a different one#🥄#spoonie#spoonie life#ibs#irritable bowel syndrome#chronic illness#chronic pain#invisible disability#invisible illness
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just saw interstellar in imax. love this movie so much. literally any critique of it that i see just shows that the person critiquing it didnt actually watch the fucking movie or havent seen it in ten years and think they remember it perfectly still
#‘why didnt they just not grow crop monocultures’#are you fucking stupid the whole first act of the movie is about how theres a disease that infects all living plant life#and year by year it completely eradicates crop by crop until corn is all that they CAN grow#and even THEN corn is still set to go extinct within a few years too#‘why do they have to leave the earth instead of saving it’ bc they HAVE NO FOOD#you can critique WHY the movie necessitates space travel over saving the earth. like why its written that way#but any critique of the setting that leads up to the space travel in te form of ‘why didnt they just do x’ is so stupid#especially when all those other options were already discussed in the film itself !!#anyway and dont even get me started on the 🤓 erm actually nerd physicsbros who hate this movie because#OHHH THE TIDAL FORCES ON MILLER’S PLANET WOULDNT BE THAT EXTREME#THIS RUINS THE WHOLE MOVIE FOR ME#FUCK OFF!!! have you even HEARD of artistic liberty BY GODDDDDDD#would the tidal forces be that strong? NO. DOES IT MATTER WHEN IT MAKES AN ICONIC CINEMATIC SCENE? NO !!!!I#its science FICTION. FICTION !!!#brot posts#or ‘the movie literally proves itself wrong because they fixed the earth in the end without needing a new planet’#ARE YOU STUPID. THEYRE LIVING ON A GIANT SPACE STATION#THEY STILL HAD TO LEAVE THE EARTH TO SURVIVE.#or the physicsbro who hate on the wormhole paper analogy scene because oh thats such a cliche analogy#i'll admit i always kind of agreed. i thought it was a necessary evil because these are high physics concepts for most audiences#but upon rewatching it now? i realize it was not an analogy to explain wormholes. they literally admit in the scene that its a cliche#bro literally uses it instead as an analogy for DIMENSIONS. he says the common wormhole analogy presents wormholes as 2d holes#but we live in 3d hence a 3d hole is not a circle but a sphere#he literally does not use it as a tired cliche analogy for wormholes he uses it as an analogy for dimensionality !!!!#all you bitches who throw these critiques around havent even watched the scene you're critiquing !!!
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only then, i am good || one shot
joel miller x f!reader
masterlist || ao3 || follow @joelsdaggerupdates for fic updates!
pairing: daddy jackson!joel x f!reader summary: you have a bad day in which it makes you question your worth. only joel can make you see the truth. warnings: jackson era [well into the tlou2 timeline but nothing bad happens], implied age gap [i warn you, joel is old old], angst [in the form of internal turmoil], feelings of guilt/burdening, established relationship, dd/lg dynamics, soft daddy dom!joel, daddy kink, praise kink, size kink, finger sucking, pet names galore [baby, sweetheart, little girl, angel] size kink, reader is hella needy, reader has pubic hair bc i said so, smidgen of cockwarming, just the tip mention, dubcon*, dacryphilia, unprotected piv, nipple play, belly bulge, creampie, joel is reader’s personal weighted blanket, fluff, aftercare. *reader is not in the right headspace to properly consent to piv but she’s a-okay with it! word count: 3.8k
a/n: i’ve been to emotional (and physical) hell and back (are we back? who knows) these last few weeks and it had me yearning for daddy jackson!joel. so this is what this is. it’s a tad different from my typical style of writing and it’s not betaed and very very loosely proofread (barely looked thru it while in the waiting room lol), so it’s probably shit but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless xx
You should’ve double-checked the lock. Triple-checked it. As always. Hand to God, it slipped your mind. You were tired. Achy and sleepy, and you just wanted to go home. Back to Joel. Curl your spent body into the thick, burly warmth of his and let him cradle you until the whole day wipes itself from memory.
You’ve been asking them for more responsibilities — a more serious role within Jackson, for months. After today, you’re sure they’ll never take you seriously. Never see you as one of them. They’re so much older and wiser — experienced. And you…well, you are not.
They never fuck up. Never make mistakes that would risk losing an important asset to this safe haven. And today you have. You fucked up. You don’t know how you forgot. It’s been your only job here, the only thing they let you have, and still — you messed it up.
You forgot to lock the stall door to the stable for one of the horses. And not only did the horse escape but now the town is technically down one patrolman. You have completely thrown off the patrolling schedule, one that was meticulously crafted and has been in place long before you arrived in Jackson. It very rarely changed.
You offered to lend a hand, practically begged them to send you out with the rest of the search party. But Maria, Tommy, and Joel all told you to go home while they sent a group (of which included Joel and Tommy themselves) outside the gates, well past dusk, to go looking for him. You felt entirely useless.
Begrudgingly, you scurried home, a beaten puppy in need of licking one’s wounds. Feeling the weight of the day and the frustration that has accumulated over months suddenly seeping into your bones, and you just…broke. You crawled into bed, alone in the dark, and you cried for hours, your mind spiraled, turning over the mistake you made, again and again and again.
When it stops and the wracking sobs slow into shuddery hiccups, it’s only because you hear heavy footsteps in the hallway. Slow. Tired. But steady — sure. And that nauseating sensation in the pit of your stomach returns as the footsteps grow closer and closer.
The door creaks open slowly, pale yellow light from the hallway spills through the crack, your puffy eyes squint and flutter against the sudden light, shape of him vague in your blurry vision, but you know it’s him: tall frame, broad shoulders, pale skin, and dark features.
Joel.
You curl your body tighter, making yourself as small as possible. Close your eyes, and bury your tear-stained face back into the damp royal blue of his linens, the piney scent of him everywhere: his pillows, his sheets, his mattress, clouding your mind. You hear his footsteps as he rounds the bed, feel him reach over and switch on the lamp beside you. He grunts, his joints creak as you feel his weight sinking the edge of the bed, settling himself down in the ‘c’ shape your body had formed.
“We found him. Fella was out by Hidden Pines,” voice soft, almost cautious.
You nod silently, but you don’t look at him, not wanting to embarrass yourself even more, not wanting him to see how pathetic you look after spending hours upon hours sobbing into the pillows over a mistake you made.
A heavy hand cups your knee over the sheets, thumb stroking bone through the fabric there.
“It wasn’t your fault, baby.” He says, surely.
But you don’t really believe him.
You sniffle and tilt your face away from the tear-soaked pillows just enough so he can hear you. “Yes, it was. I was the last one in there. It’s my job to take the horses back and settle them in for the night. My job to make sure they stay in the stables. It’s been my job, my only job all this time, and I can’t even do that right,” you ramble, voice breaking, bottom lip wobbling, fat tears pricking your red eyes once again.
“No. You listen here,” he says sternly, feeling his body turn beside you, bed covers bunching up around your knees. “You did lock it, but the latch was loose, honey. Tommy and I tried ‘em. They’re due for a fixin’ n’ we should’ve been checkin’ ‘em, but that’s my job, not yours. This wasn’t on you, darlin’. You hear me?”
You avoid his eye and stay furled on the bed. Silence swells between you, and you fiddle with a stray thread in his sheets.
“He wasn’t supposed to take off like that, but he’s a younger horse,” he shrugs, and a sigh falls from his lips. “It happens. Whoever was mannin’ the wall tonight should’ve seen him. Many things were at play, baby. It wasn’t your fault.” He says in a matter-of-fact tone.
Your head snaps over your shoulder in a fury. “I could’ve helped fix it. I could’ve made it right,” you bite, shaky voice laced with venom. You don’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but it manages to stifle the sob that threatens to claw up your throat. And for a second, the irritation in your voice doesn’t rattle you until you notice Joel’s shoulders tense, and you regret it immediately.
A whirlpool of emotions swirls in your belly. A weird noise squeaks out from your lips as you try to fruitlessly blink away the sleep and salt in your eyes. You don’t want to cry in front of him. You bury your face into the pillow again, trying to muffle the sob-like groan as you cringe away from Joel, ashamed.
His hand drifts up your thigh, broad palm splayed across your flesh, his touch unwavering. “Sweetheart, the only reason I told you to stay here s’because it ain’t safe out there. The amount of infected may be less this time o’year but the cold…” He trails off, his grip tightening around the meat of your thigh unconsciously, “makes people meaner,” his voice grows unsteady at the thought.
You shiver, and you suspect he feels it. He clears his throat, and tender fingers brush the strands of hair out of your face, then they trail down, and you feel the cold roughness of his skin against the warm softness of yours as his calloused hand cups your jaw, tilting it to face him, forcing you to meet his eyes.
Your eyes pinch shut, and the dam breaks. You can’t bear to look at him. Your heart sits heavy in your chest, feeling the guilt creeping back in at his touch. His hands, usually warm, are now icy cold, and all you can think about is how you are the cause of it. He had been out in the cold longer than he needed to be because of you. You and he both know his worn bones can’t handle it, and yet, he went out there in the dead of winter as nightfall cloaked over Jackson to right your wrong, and it makes you feel terrible.
“Baby. Look at me,” he whispers softly.
You do, and through bleary eyes you meet his weary gaze. His lips are downturned into a frown, and with a twist in his brows, that worry line in the middle of his forehead materializes. You hate being the cause of it. Your heart plops to your stomach, your throat goes thick, something rising at the base of it.
“What do you need, sweetheart? Tell me,” he implores, his voice stern but soft, eyes shifting back and forth between yours — dark amber irises so warm, pleading.
Teach me to be good. “Just you, daddy – just need you,” you blubber, your voice innocent and small. Weak.
He knows exactly what you mean. You have been together long enough that he reads you like an open book. You watch as he wordlessly toes off his boots with a thud. Watch as he moves to stand to unbuckle his belt, dropping it to the floor with a soft clink, his jeans, jacket, and flannel following shortly after. Watch as he shifts onto the bed, bones crackling as he lowers himself and presses his broad form into you, his knees popping as they coax yours open. Watch as one of his hands drifts south between your bodies to grip the thick root of his cock while the other bunches up your nightgown to your navel, revealing your unobstructed cunt to him.
You whimper when the leaky head of his cock notches at the already slippery entrance of your cunt. He glides the wide cockhead between your folds, up and down, up and down, while the warmth of his breath fans across your face when his lips part to murmur, just the tip tonight, baby, s’not a good idea for you to take all o’me right now, alright?
You nod numbly. You don’t care how much he gives you — you just need to feel him. Need him to fix you. Need him to make the hurt you feel inside go away. Need him to search for the good. Maybe it’s there, buried deep in a place only he can find.
His hands find yours, pins them firmly above your head, and with his dark gaze holding yours, he very gently pushes his tip inside your tight, wet hole. His mouth pops open in a deep groan, and you catch it with a soft gasp of your own.
“There you go. S’that feel better, pretty baby?” He murmurs, his jaw ticks, brows twitch.
You nod desperately, your wide, glassy eyes going hooded. Your thighs tense around him, causing a little more of his cock to push inside, making you whimper and squirm beneath him.
“Good. Now just listen to my voice. Just focus on me, right here,” he grunts haggardly, voice so low and commanding. And that alone makes your brain go fuzzy.
You try to focus all your energy on his voice and the heavy weight of him on top of you and the fat tip of his cock stretching your too little hole open, but suddenly, he pulls out, and you almost whine at his absence.
But Joel doesn’t give you enough time.
Your body moves up the bed with a jolt, gasping when his hips push forward with more force, filling your cunt with the head of his cock, and then some more, only to slip out of you again immediately after. He’s toying with you, and he’s doing so because he knows you really need this.
He slips his cockhead gently back inside you, and you whine at the soft squelch your slicken pussy makes. The two of you revel in the lewd, wet sounds that ricochet through the room, all while never breaking eye contact.
“My little girl just needed me to fuck all the bad thoughts away, hm?” he breathes, his nose brushes against yours.
“Mmhm,” you sigh, cunt flittering around him.
“Needed me to stretch out her sweet little hole and make everything better, s’that it?”
You nod frantically, moaning breathlessly.
Joel growls. “Say yes, daddy,” he commands you softly, his fingers squeezing yours.
“Y—ye—yes, d–daddy.” Your words come out broken in between the slow rolls of his hips, but by the smirk that tugs on his lips, you know he’s proud of you anyway.
“Good girl,” he praises, his touch featherlight as his fingers push the stray strands of hair away from your forehead, and the scruff of his chin tickles your nose as he lays an open-mouthed kiss between your furrowed brows.
“But daddy—” you start to protest, scrunching your nose.
Joel harrumphs as he pulls back. All of his features pull into a stern look, and to stop you, the pad of his roughened thumb sweeps across your cheek and sinks between your parted lips.
“Na-uh. No fightin’ with daddy,” he presses gently.
By instinct, your lips close around his digit, sucking it into your mouth and swirling your tongue around the thick of it, tasting the salty, woodsy flavor of him, and it only feeds the foggy haze in your mind more.
Spit pools at the corner of your lips. His thumb moves in and out of your mouth, matching the rhythm of his thrusts as he fucks his cockhead in and out of your hole. Your mind begins to blur, but there’s still a storm stirring in your swollen eyes, and Joel, as always, can see it.
“Alright, this ain’t workin’,” he sighs exasperatedly.
And you think he’s utterly fed up with you not obeying him. He unsticks his body from yours, and your eyes search his face — the lines beside his eyes, the hairs in his brows, the muscles around his lips — trying to decode the emotion that flits across his features. Though, as expected, it’s near impossible to read him. Joel may have been able to crack you open, and although the years he has spent in Jackson have managed to soften him up — tiny cracks in his stony exterior over time — he remains inscrutable.
For a moment, you think he’s going to scold you. Tell you you’re no good for him anymore. You wouldn’t blame him. You can’t seem to do anything right. Maybe he thought he wanted to take you apart, bit by careful bit. But what if he peered through the gap and saw something he didn’t like? What if he had a change of heart — now that he stepped back and assessed the damage? What if the severity of it was too much to mend? Burden too heavy to carry. He doesn’t deserve that. He deserves someone good. Someone not in need of fixing. Someone unbroken.
But Joel surprises you. His hand retracts from your face, and instead wraps his arm around your middle, maneuvering you onto his thighs so you're straddling him. His free hand fists the hem of your nightgown, and in one swift motion, tugs the fabric over your head and tosses it aside to join his pile of clothes on the floor. His heavy hands find your waist once again, and with the head of his cock still buried deep in between your legs, he sits up and back against the headboard, grunting a low, alright, c'mere, as he takes you with him with ease.
You cling to him like a koala, body putty and pliant as he brings your weak arms to wrap around his neck. And then, a firm hand moves to cradle the back of your neck, lets you nuzzle your wet face into the dip in his shoulder, and breathe in the comfort of his scent while his other traverses the line of your spine.
Slow but steady, Joel bucks his hips up, up, up, until the entirety of his thick length works its way into the slick slide of your cunt. Your soft thatch of curls meets his, softly grazes your clit, and you writhe in his arms, sniffle, and whimper brokenly against his shoulder, but sure, gentle hands pull you into his chest tighter. You feel the strong drum of his heart against yours, thrumming against each other: ga-gung, ga-gung, ga-gung, pace quickening, like they're trying to catch up, trying to sync. Your body melts into his. Skin to skin, heart to heart, heat of your cunt to the heat of his cock; and then suddenly, two become one.
“Shh, shhh, I know, baby, I know. You got it,” he whispers, as he begins to rock you back and forth, back and forth, lulling you gently back into the haze, and everything finally fades away.
He presses a kiss right behind your ear. “Therrrre we go, just take it, good girl,” he murmurs as a heavy hand pets your hair. And whether he’s talking about his cock or his praise, you obey regardless. Your cunt sucks the heat of his cock in deep. Let him fuck himself into you; let his warmth smolder you until your cunt ignites. Let it roar and burn and spread through your system like wildfire. Let him make you good.
The tips of his fingers move through your hair in small ministrations, gently scratching away at your skull. “Daddy—s–so big—” you whimper, your fingers pulling the hair at the nape of his neck, tears welling up in your eyes as something low in your belly begins to churn.
“Shhh, angel, it’s okay. I know, s’a lot,” he soothes, feeling his deep voice reverberate against your chest. Your cunt contracts at his praise, and the steady pace of his hips falters briefly; he groans deeply when he feels his tip choked tight within your walls, “you’re doin’ so good for me, sweetheart, so good.”
He continues his shallow thrusts while he rocks you in his arms. There’s a low static buzz in your ears, but you can still hear the perverse chant that manages to fall from your lips — one that grows louder with every roll of his hips, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy. And in turn, he murmurs incessant blabbers of, you’re okay, angel, daddy’s here, daddy’s gotcha, into your hair, punctuating every one of his words with a soft kiss to your temple and a slow buck of his hips.
The tip of his cock nudges that soft ridge deep inside you, and he feels your cunt flutter around him. “You gonna come for me, angel, hm? You gonna be a real good girl for daddy and let me feel this drippy little pussy come all over me?” He coos.
“Uh-huh,” you murmur.
Deft fingers curl around the back of your neck, and with the slightest of pressure, he squeezes once, gently instructing you to use your words. A silent command.
“Y-yes, daddy, I prom–I promise, I wanna be good. I wanna be good,” you mewl.
His nose drags along the side of your face, down, down, down, until his heated lips meet your pulse point. “Go on, baby, let go n’ get daddy all messy. Show daddy how good of a girl you are,” he rambles, his voice a low vibration, goosebumps prickling in its wake.
With your tight cunt full and impaled on his cock, your clit throbs, eager for more friction. You rut your hips against his, humping him like a dog in heat as you rub your puffy pearl against the graying curls there, smearing him in your slick just as he insisted.
And within seconds, your body constricts, navel pulls taut, and then something fiery in your belly erupts. Your body begins to tremble as stars burst behind your eyelids, liquid heat turns your mind and body molten, melting away completely with the force of your release.
“Daaaddy,” you cry, lips quivering. Your muscles go lax, and your body slumps in his hold, feeling the last of your energy leaving you. Your head lulls back, and his hand slides up the base of your neck in time to catch it in his massive palm.
He clutches you tight, marveling at your fucked-out form in his arms while babbling praises of, ohhh–that’s it, that’s it, good job, baby, such a good fuckin’ girl— daddy’s so proud of you, as warm tears roll down your face. And it only spurs him on.
His languid strokes speed up, your body jolts above him violently, weeping cunt fluttering repeatedly around him. Your mouth falls open, wanton moans escape past your parted lips as he fucks you harder. “Christ, that’s it, that’s my girl. Look at you, perfect little thing,” he pants, coaxing you through your orgasm.
His eyes drop quickly to watch the bounce of your tits, nipples peaked and gleaming with beads of sweat. He dips his head to one sticky breast, and with a flick of his hot tongue, he laps up the salt on your skin.
It elicits a sharp gasp from you, your chewed fingernails desperately trying to claw at him, your body arching against his mouth, and you feel him grin against the curve of your breast. His mouth drifts, wraps his whiskered lips around your other swollen nipple, tongue swirls the pointed bud, teasing you with a graze of his teeth across the wet peak before nipping it, tugging the stiffened point ever so slightly between his teeth.
“Daddy–oh!” You choke on a moan, and your spent pussy clenches around him so tight, your cunt is almost forcing him out. His hips buck into you harder in response, his thrusts growing more erratic as he seeks his own release.
Joel hisses, mouth releasing your tit with a wet pop, “sweet Jesus, m’gonna give it to you real good, baby—like you deserve, fuck—”
He's cut off by the strangled groan that rips through his chest, his back arches off the headboard, and you feel him twitch. His grasp on your enervated form tightens, and then a blazing heat spreads inside you. His sweaty forehead falls to your dampened chest, the swell of your breasts cushioning the drop of his head, his body convulsing as he pumps upwards into your core. Cock pulsing and spasming within your walls as he continues to spill inside you, your belly swelling and set to burst full of his seed.
Joel slumps back against the headboard, his arms loosen, but they don’t release you, just holds you there on top of him as he presses hasty kisses and whispers shaky sweet nothings into your hair while his hot seed dribbles out around his length, turning the hair at the root of his cock into a pool of sticky milky white.
You don’t know if it’s minutes or hours that pass by as you stay limp in his lap, breathing in the sweat and sex on his skin as you snuggle back into his neck, the heat a low simmer. But when he runs a warm, wet rag between your legs and uses the same one to wipe your mixed wet off of his shaft before he tucks you in with a peck to your lips, the tip of your nose, a long kiss to your forehead, and lays himself on top of you with the full weight of him, pulling the comforter up to trap the heat of your bodies between you, sore cunt plugged with his softened cock once more, you know that he makes you feel whole. Not ruined or broken. Not stupid or useless or helpless. And in truth, it's all you’ve ever known with him.
As you slip gently into the waiting black, small fingers that draw circles into his silver curls come to a slow, you think you hear a quiet sigh — feel his lips lazily form around the words against your tacky skin — something of, you are good, angel tucked away into the valley between your naked breasts like a secret. And you think you believe him, and for now, that’s enough for you.
#i'm fighting for my life so if anyone sees my husband tell his ass to come home asap!!!!#anyway this goes out to my homies who are perfectionists who think the world will implode over one small mishap#it won't and ily ❤️🩹#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#jackson!joel x reader#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#daddy!joel#tw daddy kink#noelle's workshop
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꒰ ♡ ꒱ continuation of this drabble!
∘ ◟♡ ˒ ʾʾ Sukuna's tiny blob form trembled slightly as he tested the new mouth he'd formed, frustrated that even this minor accomplishment felt like a monumental task in his current state. His jagged little mouth opened and closed a few times, as if trying to get used to the sensation. He could barely manage coherent speech, let alone a proper threat, and your oblivious, adoring expression didn’t make it any easier.
"I… I'll destroy you," he croaked again, though the words came out more like a tired sigh than a warning. His once menacing tone, feared by even the most powerful sorcerers, had been reduced to something far too soft, far too… pet-like.
You were still crouched next to him, your face hovering inches away from his small, squishy body. Instead of recoiling in fear or even acknowledging his so-called threat, you simply giggled, reaching out to stroke his markings with a tenderness that made Sukuna’s single eye twitch.
"You're doing so well!" you said with an amused smile. "Look at you, forming a mouth and everything! Such a big step for a little blob!"
If Sukuna could’ve scowled, he would’ve. He wasn't some infant learning how to speak; he was the King of Curses! And yet, here you were, treating him like a child taking their first steps. It was maddening. He opened his mouth to issue another threat, but the words caught in his throat as you gently cupped him in your hands, lifting him as if he were made of delicate glass.
He braced himself for the worst. Surely, he should have loathed this—being handled like a plush toy, pressed against your soft palms. But instead, a warmth spread through his small, cursed body, and for a fleeting moment, Sukuna felt something disturbingly close to comfort. He tried to shake it off, tried to remind himself that this was beneath him, but the softness of your hands made it difficult to focus on anything other than how… pleasant it felt.
You noticed his faint twitching and smiled down at him with that familiar, adoring look. "Poor thing, you're all squirmy now. Do you want to rest? Maybe you're still growing into your new form?"
Sukuna's pride bristled at your words, but he couldn't deny that he was feeling a strange sort of exhaustion. As much as he hated to admit it, regaining his cursed energy—even in small amounts—was taking a toll on him. He wasn’t used to being so… vulnerable. It was humiliating, but for the time being, he had no choice but to allow you to continue your unrelenting doting.
"I don’t… need your help," Sukuna muttered, his voice low and raspy. It wasn’t the mighty growl he wanted, but rather a tired grumble.
You gently placed him back onto the soft blanket you’d laid out for him earlier. He sank into the fabric, his tiny form almost disappearing into the folds. "Of course you don’t," you cooed, brushing your fingers lightly over his surface. "But I’m going to help anyway. You're just too cute."
"Cute…?" Sukuna repeated, as though the word had physically hurt him. "I’m… not… cute…"
You laughed again, a sweet sound that filled the room. "You are, though. Look at you. All tiny and grumpy." You leaned down to rest your chin on your hands, looking at him with a soft smile. "And you’re mine. So, I’m going to take care of you whether you like it or not."
Sukuna's singular red eye flickered with a flash of indignation. "I am not… yours. I am Ryomen Sukuna. The King of Curses!" he growled, though the effect was ruined by how much effort it took to speak. His tiny mouth barely moved, and instead of sounding intimidating, he came off more like a petulant child throwing a tantrum.
You tilted your head, clearly amused. "Ryomen, huh? Well, it looks like you need some rest. And maybe a snack. You didn’t eat much today."
"I don’t need food!" Sukuna snapped, or rather, squeaked. The tiny, high-pitched sound that came out of his mouth was anything but intimidating.
"Sure you don’t," you said with a grin, placing a small bowl of fruit beside him. "But just in case you change your mind, it’s here."
Sukuna huffed, turning his eye away from you in a weak attempt to regain some semblance of his former dignity. But you weren’t deterred. You sat back on the bed, watching him with that same affectionate look that had begun to chip away at the iron walls he had once built around his heart.
For a moment, there was silence. Sukuna closed his eye, trying to block out the warmth and comfort that your presence brought. He shouldn’t be feeling this way. He shouldn’t be letting you take care of him, not when he was supposed to be ruling over everything. Yet, despite his inner turmoil, the softness of the blanket, the gentle rise and fall of your breathing, and the warmth that surrounded him—it was hard to fight it all.
He peeked his eye open, watching you as you hummed a little tune to yourself, seemingly content just to be near him. It was strange. For so long, Sukuna had been feared, hated, and worshiped, but never… never had anyone cared for him like this. Not in a way that felt so genuine, so gentle.
He didn’t want to admit it, but a small part of him—one he would deny to his last breath—was growing attached to you. The way you handled him with such care, the way you spoke to him like he was a friend, not a monster. It was disarming, and Sukuna hated it… or at least, he wanted to hate it.
"You… are an idiot," Sukuna mumbled, his voice losing its edge, barely audible.
You blinked, surprised by the quietness in his tone. "What was that?"
He hesitated, then sighed, letting himself sink a little deeper into the blanket. "You’re… an idiot," he repeated, softer this time. "Caring for something that would destroy you without a second thought. Foolish human…"
You paused for a moment, looking at him with a gentle, knowing expression. Then, with a soft smile, you brushed your hand over his small form again. "Maybe I am," you said quietly, your voice filled with warmth. "But I think you’ve already had plenty of chances to destroy me. And yet, here we are."
Sukuna's lone eye flickered, narrowing slightly. "I’m just biding my time," he grumbled, though the threat lacked conviction. "When I regain my power…"
You laughed softly, cutting him off in the most disarming way. "Sure, sure. You’ll regain your power, and then what? Tear me apart? Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to happen."
"Don’t get cocky," Sukuna growled, trying to muster more force behind the words. But even he could hear how weak the threat sounded. His voice had lost the venom it once carried, softened by the strange, inexplicable comfort of your presence.
You tilted your head, smiling softly down at him. "Maybe it’s foolish of me, but I don’t think you’re as heartless as you want me to believe. If you were, you wouldn’t be letting me do this." Your fingers gently stroked his smooth surface, tracing the black markings that had once inspired fear in so many.
Sukuna twitched, both annoyed and begrudgingly soothed by the touch. "I could destroy you in an instant if I wanted to," he muttered, though he wasn’t even sure he believed it anymore.
You leaned closer, your expression warm and soft. "I know," you said, your voice gentle but firm. "But you won’t."
Sukuna fell silent, his single red eye watching you, as though searching for something—maybe a reason, maybe a flaw in your belief. But there was nothing. You were unwavering, and for the first time in his long, cursed existence, Sukuna found himself wondering if perhaps you were right.
Perhaps… just maybe… he wouldn’t.・₊﹆ɞ‧₊
taglist: @laraackerman @xyinparadise @katsukis-s @himboelover @lemonlimecrystal-blog
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kinktober day 12 - cockwarming dick grayson x fem!reader cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, cockwarming, praise/degradation
"Ah, ah, ah. No moving, baby. That was the deal, remember?" your boyfriend coos from behind you.
Your velvety walls flutter around him, all your other muscles going taut with frustration. Tilting your head back, a whimper echoes from you.
Right now, he was really living up to his name.
"Pleaseeeee, Dick," you whine. A pout forms on your lips even though he wouldn't be able to see it from this angle.
"No," he laughs and pats your ass, "You said this would be enough for you. That you didn't need strenuous activity to feel good."
He was laying in bed, as the doctor (Alfred) had ordered. A pile of plush pillows pile behind him, keeping his bruised face elevated. More cuts and scrapes littered his chest and abs and mark up those beautiful muscles with remnants of the pain he'd endured. You sat on his lap facing away from him, his cock buried inside you.
Last week, he had a pretty rough night. On patrol, some guys got the jump on him, had some weapons he'd never encountered or something like that. It was hard to understand the story with the way he'd mumbled it out when he came home barely conscious. The state he was in scared the life out of you. You called Alfred in tears, sobbing into the phone about how you thought Dick was gonna die on the floor of your kitchen.
As it turned out, he was fine. Totally fine by now, which was why you felt comfortable rubbing up on him and snaking your hand down south to the waistband of his loose sweatpants. It had been over a week since Alfred told him to get some rest, and he had no real injuries. He just loved to tease you, so he insisted sex was still beyond the limitations of his current physical capabilities.
He made you BEG to even sit here with him inside you. You hoped that would convince him to take it easy on you for the rest of this, but clearly, you'd overestimated your boyfriend's compassion.
"Why? You don't even have to move," you plead.
You don't have to see his face to know the gleam of amusement his eyes hold and the smirk that spreads over his lips.
"Sure, sure. Cause you never get tired halfway through being on top and start whining for me to take over," he mocks, "I know that'd be the next thing you ask for."
"I won't," you defend, "Please just let me move... I need it."
You look over your shoulder now and catch sight of the stupid look you'd envisioned in your head. Those pretty blue eyes gaze up at you, his ego clear in each cerulean fleck. His hands below knead the soft muscles of your ass. They dig into the flesh and rub at your thighs too. The touches send tingles straight to the pit of your belly, more arousal leaking from you in response.
"I don't know... It's bad enough you're not letting me rest properly, but now this? Seems like you're asking for a lot," he goads.
Anguish plumes in your chest. You nearly topple forward and smoosh your face into the blankets, the urge to kick and pound your fists on the bed insurmountable. Instead, your hands clasp around his meaty thighs. You squeeze as if that could give you the will to remain motionless. If you moved before he gave you permission, you weren't sure you'd see another orgasm this year.
"Dick, come on," you beg, head hanging, "Why do you hate me?"
That gets a hearty laugh out of him. His palms smooth up your sides to hold your waist.
"Don't try to guilt trip me, babe. You're not very good at it," he says. The pads of his fingertips massage your curves in tiny strokes. "You can wait a little longer."
"You've already made me wait so long. It hurts," you plead. If guilt wouldn't work, maybe sympathy will.
"Oh, does it? I think that's just your pride, sweetheart. You're acting so pathetic for me right now," he teases.
You didn't know what to try next. More broken cries tumble from your lips. In truth, waiting didn't hurt, but it was growing uncomfortable. The slick between your legs was sticky, and you wanted to get away from it by bouncing up and down. His length had been sitting inside you for so long it felt like a word you'd said too many times. The only way to forget about it would be to fuck yourself silly on top of him.
But he stays true to his word. He makes you wait. You sit on top of him for you don't even know how long. Occasionally, he shifts his hips, acting as if he just needs to get comfortable; the motion strikes one of your pleasure spots every time though.
You bite your lip, trying to not lose it. If this continued at this rate, you'd be in tears soon, which you really wanted to avoid as they would only make him more merciless.
Regardless of your wishes though, you can feel them starting to bloom in your eyes. Frustration burns like fire in your lungs. You turn your head to look at him again, wanting to try one more time to reason before you fully break down.
That plan goes out the window though when you see this man on his phone. He lounges there, scrolling through whatever without a care in the world.
"Dick!" you cry, a couple tears spilling over your water line.
His eyes flit up to your face just as your arm swings back to swat him. He catches your wrist, amusement pulling at his lips.
"Swinging at me when I'm wounded?" he mocks.
He softens the smallest bit when he sees the tears, bringing his hand up to swipe them away with his thumb. You sniffle at the gesture. Your lip wobbles with the desire to unleash more humiliating noises.
"What're the tears for, pretty girl? You really wanna move that bad?" he croons, dragging the bow of his index finger down your jawline.
You nod, eyes casting down in shame.
Knowing laughter bubbles up from his lips. His finger tilts your chin upwards, forcing you to look into his eyes.
"Let me hear you ask nicely one more time," he says.
You almost crumble on top of him right then, but you can't lose it when you're so close. With a deep inhale, you suck it up and bat your eyes a few times.
"Please?"
He grins at you and taps your hip. "Turn around for me and then go ahead."
Eager as can be, you clamber around and situate yourself so that you're facing him. Your legs quiver. It felt unusual to move after being full and seated for a while. When you're settled, plush thighs pressed against his sculpted sides, you plant your hands on his chest.
You don't waste time before rising up and sinking back down. A strangled moan falls from your lips at the relief. Some of the tension that had webbed up in the pit of your belly begins to loosen as you bounce.
His hands land on your hips, guiding your movements into a steady rhythm. You can tell he's enjoying it too from how he sighs and the way his jaw clenches.
"That's it. Worth the wait?" he asks.
"Mhm," you whimper.
Your ass smacks against his pelvis over and over. The sound of skin on skin fills the bedroom along with your combined grunting and moaning. You roll your hips, getting him as deep as possible. Your spine arches in tandem with your head falling back.
He takes advantage of the view you're giving him, one of his hands rising to grope at your breast. His fingers cradle the mound as the rest of you continues rutting on top of him. He flicks your nipple with his thumb, tearing more mewls from your lips with the bursts of sensation.
"Look at you, going dumb already. You're that needy for me?" he mocks, giving your stiffened bud a little pinch.
You yelp and nod, not bothering to defend yourself.
Your noises increase in volume as you continue to ride. Breathing likens into panting while shudders overcome your body. All of you convulses with each jump of your hips. It's getting harder to keep the pace, but you don't want to admit that. You don't want to prove him right.
It doesn't matter if you want that though because he can tell. He can see your motions getting jerkier. He feels the way your walls tighten around him with abandon.
To try and help you a little, he digs his heels into the mattress and thrusts up. Happy moans echo from you, your lips widening into a smile. He can't help but match the expression. This was his favorite sight in the world, his pretty girl blissed out. Nothing on your mind but him.
Without waiting for you to say the word, he boosts you up and flips you onto your back on the mattress. He springs to his feet beside the bed. Pulling you by your hips, your pelvises meet at the edge, and he takes over thrusting.
His fingers press into your inner thighs as he maintains his grip. He plows into you faster than you had been going on top. Leaning forward, he bends you in half. Your thighs press against your chest. His body heat oozes all over you.
This position lets him slide deeper inside you than before. Each rock of his hips nudges his tip against a spot that makes you cry out. You would be seeing stars if not for the fact that your eyes are rolling back.
"So fucking greedy," he croons, "Always wanting more than you can take."
You whine in protest, hips weakly squirming under the weight of him. Blinking yourself back into focus, you try to conjure words to argue that you could take it. That he's the one who flipped you over.
But all you can muster is a pouty "You're so mean to me."
He laughs in your face before smacking a kiss on your quivering frown. "You love it. Being nice doesn't ever get you so wet," he mocks.
You can't help the way your cunt clenches around him at that, sucking him in further. He hisses in response and presses down on your legs harder. He's as far in you as can be now. Every thrust fills you up just how you like.
"Mhm, there you go. Nice and tight for me, baby," he teases. One of his arms wraps around your leg to thumb at your clit. You squeal at the fiery sensation and writhe against the blankets so much you may get friction burn.
He chuckles and continues speaking. "I'm only mean cause I have to be. If I let you have it your way, I don't think you'd ever get anything done. You're such a little slut. You want my cock all. the. time," he says, punctuating the last three words with particularly brutal thrusts.
Crying out, you nod. You just agree with what he's saying, not really taking in a word of it. As long as he didn't stop, you were content.
He continues slamming himself against you. The bed creaks from his rapid pace.
Your mouth hangs open at this point. Unfiltered sounds come out while he grits his teeth above you. His thumb keeps swirling over your sensitive little bundle of nerves all the while, dragging you closer to the edge.
"Dick!" you wail.
The hand on your clit leaves and clamps over your mouth instead. His forehead comes to rest against yours, his breaths fanning over your face.
"If you get us a noise complaint, you're gonna get used to just sitting on my cock," he says, "I won't go easy on you next time. You can cry all you want to, and it won't change a thing."
Your eyes flutter with lust. He could be so annoying, but fuck, you loved it. You knew Dick wasn't one for idle threats either. He'd have you sit on his lap all full and fidgety for hours if he wanted.
The image is all you need to spur you to the finish line. Your hips buck up against his, shaking violently as they seek out more pleasure.
He feels the way you tighten and release, massaging his shaft and beckoning him to do the same. A few thrusts later he gives in to the temptation. He drains himself inside you. Rope after rope of hot, sticky cum floods into your cunt. His head drops against your neck, silky black locks damp with sweat against your skin.
Both of you finish out with a few more lazy movements. In the afterglow of your passion, he lingers on top of you for a few more moments. His body remains dead weight, melted against your own.
When he finally finds the will to move, he kisses a trail from your shoulder up to your lips. The tender exchange makes the feel of him pulling out more bearable. Maybe he was right, maybe you are a little greedy. You'd just had him for all that time, but you still didn't want it to be over.
Either way, he flops down next to you. The teasing is gone from his eyes for now. His pupils hold a genuine look of adoration similar to the feeling in your chest. It's only a brief eclipse though because his mocking returns as he leans in to nip at your cheek.
"I think you cured me, babe. I'm feeling much better now," he says with his usual cocky smile.
#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson smut#dick grayson x y/n#dick grayson x you#dick grayson imagine#dc x reader#dc imagine#dc smut#nightwing x reader#nightwing smut#nightwing x you
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✞︎ ︎YOUR OWN PERSONAL JESUS.
SOMEONE TO HEAR YOUR PRAYERS. SOMEONE WHO CARES.
cw: religious!reader x sevika, inspo from personal jesus by depeche mode, dark themes [drinking addiction, religious crisis, trauma/ptsd, etc.], a mention of isha because i’m evil, as well as religious themes, nasty sloppy dirty sinful dyke sex [body worship + tribbing] 18+ 🧛🏿
word count: 14.1k
i. FEELING UNKNOWN AND YOU’RE ALL ALONE
sad, dull, gray, gloomy, what else could she use to describe it? constant rain, a chronic form of seasonal depression that lingered in the air no matter where she went. her therapist prescribed her some fresh air, but the air is never fresh here. it’s thick with fog, the humidity weighs down on your shoulders and makes it unbearable to trudge through. sure, the sun shines, but it never peeks out from behind the clouds, leaving the town in a dark, unsaturated gleam.
she crosses the threshold into her apartment, hair clinging to the back of her neck and the sides of her face due to a mix of humidity and sweat. her apartment might be more vapid than the outside world, it’s a small box that overlooks the parking lot and a few 24 hour diners across the street. the walls are all white, along with the ceiling and cabinets, and the carpet is scratchy and gray. she hardly has any furniture, a small couch with a tv propped up on a cardboard box facing it. no coffee table, chairs, or shelves, but she doesn’t spend much time out here anyways.
her ribs start to ache, and the growing hunger in her stomach only makes it worse. she scours her cupboards for a snack, and settles for half a bar of dark chocolate and a glass of whiskey. the couch is small and hard and it barely offers any comfort to her tired body. on the tv, the meteorologist blabbers away about the predicted weather for the week. she feels bad for him, the poor guy probably wanted a bigger and better job than this. foreseeing the same weather for 365 days straight. cold, cloudy, wet, maybe snow if we get lucky.
the dark chocolate she’s nibbling on is cheap and tastes identical to the plastic wrapper it came in, and the burn of the whiskey is only adding to the bitter taste. but at least it soothes her mind. she sighs, flicks off the television, and heads for the shower. the last thing she wants to be right now is even more wet, but the promising warmth of the water will at least soothe some of the pain in her shoulders.
a bone-chilling squeak rings out through the bathroom as she twists the faucet on, and the light flickers as if in response to the noise. sevika peels her clothes off, her sweatpants dropping to the floor and her shirt still trying to hang on to her body. her ribs are more prominent than they’ve ever been, and she can see her muscles slowly starting to wither away with how frequently she skips the gym.
steam fills the room, the foggy clouds of it wisp around her as she studies herself until she can’t see her reflection anymore. it’s all blurry— her reflection, the walls, her own hands in front of her face. her left arm has the deepest and darkest scars she’s ever seen, most of them are jagged from the way her stitches were inserted. she can hardly stand to look at herself anymore, so maybe it’s a good thing the mirror is fogged up.
in the shower she only washes herself for a quick second, rubbing a thin layer of soap all over her body and scrubbing her scalp with shampoo. she debates on adding conditioner, but she feels as if she’ll faint if she’s in the shower for another second. the hot water quickly runs out, and sevika only notices how scorching her water was when it switches over to room temperature.
as soon as she steps out of the shower, she wraps herself up in her towel, although there’s not really a point in that due to the holes and strings coming off of it. she makes a mental note to buy more towels, and just as she’s about to mope about another purchase to make, her phone blares an alarm warning her not to be late to her physical therapy appointment.
stumbling out of the bathroom, she trudges half nude to her liquor cabinet, aimlessly grabbing around for something strong. she pours herself a shot, and then another, and fuck, why not a third one? she doesn’t notice the burn as it goes down, her mind instead focusing on the ache in her left shoulder.
she pulls a shirt over her head and shoves her shoes on, finalizing her outfit with her black raincoat. she wears it nearly every day, partially because it’s always cold and rainy, and partially because it’s a good excuse to hide the thick scars that travel all the way up her body. her spine starts to ache as she walks to the clinic, but she doesn’t have money for a car, and she doesn’t know anybody in this town well enough to ask them for a ride.
the receptionist at the clinic doesn’t look up one single time as sevika checks in, and sevika wishes so badly that she could get paid to sit down and look at a computer all day. she takes a seat in the waiting room, slumping back and relaxing her muscles as she waits for her PT to invite her in. the clock on the wall ticks extremely loudly, she notices, but she decides to close her eyes and count the ticks until it’s finally her turn.
ii. FLESH AND BONE BY THE TELEPHONE
static muffles through her radio. she flicks the ashes of her cigarette out onto the pavement, watching as a pigeon across the street skitters around. another few crackles through her walkie talkie go ignored. it’s her break for fucks sake, and she’s only just starting to enjoy it.
“sevika?” her radio booms. she sighs, rolling her eyes and waiting for someone else to respond.
“sevika, we need you inside. your break is over.”
“my break is what? over.” she responds, giggling at her own smartass response.
“your break is over, god damn it. over.”
“roger.” she says, a hint of a smile still in her voice. “i’ll be inside in a second. over.”
she pulls her phone out of her pocket, double checking the new code for the security door. after punching it in, she swings the door open until it bolts shut behind her, and then makes her way to the lobby. the museum is huge, the lobby has floors that sparkle and shine no matter how many muddy shoes cross over them, and the rest of the stories are complete with floor to ceiling windows that are taller than she ever could’ve imagined.
as she crosses through a giant stone archway, her boss nods and waves her over. one of her coworkers is there too, both of them looking stern and serious. she steps into the small circle they’ve formed, lifting her eyebrows quizzically at the two of them. “well?” she asks. “what do you need?”
“what do i need? what i fuckin’ need from both of you is for you to do your fuckin’ jobs.” he spits, literally. droplets of his saliva collect in his beard as he digs into sevika and her coworker about ‘not doing their jobs.’
“what do you mean by that, sir?” her coworker asks.
“do you know how many people i’ve seen walk out of here with souvenirs stuffed into their pockets? that gift shop is gonna be desecrated by the end of the day.”
“respectfully, sir, we aren’t in charge of the gift shop. we only monitor the grounds of the museum, and you’re the one who hired us both to do that.” she says back.
“then go do ya fuckin’ job.” he growls, his thick boston accent shining through his attempt at a serious lecture.
she raises her eyebrows and turns around with her tongue in her cheek, heading up the large marble stairs. sevika can’t argue with that, and she loves her job. it’s easy— all she has to do is puff her chest to intimidate her guests, hand out lollipops to the little ones who are brave enough to wave at her, and occasionally answer a question about directions around the place. all of her coworkers love her, and she’s never felt more secure in her life before.
ascending the stairs, she eyes a beautiful young woman with blazing orange hair wandering into the gift shop and a smile on her face. that’s not the type of person who’d steal, she thinks, and she’s probably right. concealing her eyes are a pair of black sunglasses, and she’s finally thankful they’re part of her uniform now that she’s got direct sunlight hitting every corner of the second floor.
she inserts her earpiece into the side of her head, prepared although not excited to listen to her coworkers chat and complain for the rest of the day. she flicks around until she connects to the private channel, and then continues to stroll around the second floor.
people of all ages wander through the halls. kids being scolded by their parents, awkward adults grasping clammy hands on their first date, seniors leaning on their walkers and canes as they reminisce about famous painters. the community is so beautiful, so important to her, she’d do anything to protect it. this place is like her second home, and she’s made some of the best friends of her life here. not to mention the fact that it’s taken her years to memorize her way around the place, so now it’s even more special to her.
she steps toward the large windows, feeling the warm sun prickle her skin as it sparkles through the leaves of the trees. the muffled sound of laughing families combined with the sight of her people paints a smile on her face, and she closes her eyes and loses herself in this divine moment until she feels something tug on the bottom of her vest.
“yes?” she asks, turning around and smiling down at the kid. her bottom lip quivers and her eyes fill with tears, she makes a mental note that she can’t be any older than six years of age.
“i—” she starts, attempting to blink back tears and inevitably failing. “mmmph!!”
sevika crouches down and wipes the girl’s tears away with her thumbs, ruffling the kid’s fluffy blue hair. “don’t worry, kiddo.” she assures her, “what’s wrong? oh, lemme guess— lost your parents?” the kid nods and sobs some more, attempting to hide her face in her hands.
she scoops her up in her arms, letting her sob into her shoulder. “ughffff!!!!” she pouts, squirming in sevika’s hold. she takes a guess that the kid is either really shy or just mute.
“it’s okay,” she coos. “would you like a lollipop?” the kid sniffles at this, but lifts her head up and nods at her. sevika digs into the small bag on her waist, pulling out a bright blue sucker for the little one that matches her hair. she takes it in her small hands and unwraps it, eyes sparkling at the sight of the blue raspberry favored sugar. sevika just hopes her parents don’t kill her.
with the kid in her arms— who is now joyfully sucking on the lollipop instead of soaking her in tears and snot— she makes her way downstairs. sevika’s no stranger to lost children, and she’s fond of their company. it’s refreshing to hear them describe colors and patterns in the paintings instead of overanalyzing it and telling stupid facts about the artist. and she loves that she can finally give back to the world, bringing the kiddos comfort like she never received from her own parents.
“radio check.” her earpiece says, slightly catching her off guard.
“go ahead.” her teammates all say, mutually praying their boss isn’t about to go on another two hour long rant in their private channel.
“keep your eyes peeled for a little kid with a full head of bright blue hair,” her boss says into her earpiece. “apparently her names isha and she’s five. parents lost her on the second floor and they’re worried.”
sevika looks down at the kid, unnecessarily double checking that her head is painted with blue hair dye. “i’ve got her.” she says. “we’re making our way to the lobby. 10-20?”
“lobby, meet you there soon. over and out.”
“isha!!” her mother shrieks as soon as sevika lands on the bottom step. “oh my sweet ishabear! i thought we’d lost you forever.”
isha’s dad shoots sevika a look that seems to say ‘sorry about her’, but she smiles and hands the kid over. “what’s your name?” her mom asks frantically. just as she’s about to respond, her boss speaks up and whacks her on the back with a proud slap.
“this is sevika. best security in the whole building, ain’t she?” he says, reaching out to pinch her cheek. sevika tries her absolute best to hold back, but she can’t stop a harsh glare from forming on her face as her boss pokes and prods at her like she’s a doll. she clears her throat and shoves him off, but resumes a smile for the parents staring at her.
“that she is!” the mother cheers. “god bless you, sevika, seriously. i’ll never be able to repay you.”
she smiles proudly, not necessarily because she believes in a god, but she’s just glad to get the kid back and hopefully end the conversation soon. “thank you ma’am. it’s no problem, really. it’s my job.”
“it is your job!” her boss exclaims. “and she’s gonna get right back to it.”
before turning away, she gives isha a smile and an explosive fist bump, smiling at the adorable little cub and then parting. her boss is probably the only downside of her job. words can’t explain how much she hates that guy— even hate isn’t a strong enough word. but she ignores it, pushing her hatred to the back of her mind and attempting to continue with her good day.
until an ear piercing scream is let out at the front of the building, and she’s knocked out before she can turn around to investigate.
——
“shit, how many are still in the building?”
“i dunno, man! there are people fuckin’ everywhere.”
“sevika? can you hear me? … sevika, you need to get out of there now.”
groggily, she peels her heavy eyes open and looks around. the scent of pennies fills her nose, a metallic smell so strong it nearly knocks her out again. before she feels like she can hit the floor, her body jerks forward and she sucks in a gasp before she realizes she’s already laying on the marbled ground.
“sevika…?”
“leave it alone, for gods sake, we need to get people out of here!”
her left arm was laying oddly and uncomfortably behind her, and her whole body was absolutely aching. she leans forward and chokes out some blood before looking at the scene before her. windows shattered and glass glistening on the floor, reflecting the light that shines off of the mini fires lit all around. there are people everywhere— or at least the remains of them. shoes and purses and walkers left behind, the suffocating scent of blood and charred flesh, and the sound of sirens blaring all around her.
she tries to breathe, but it seems impossible. her lungs won’t fill with air no matter how many times she gasps, and that number is burgeoning with the way she’s hyperventilating. hot, salty tears prickle her eyes involuntarily, but she blinks them away, too shocked to feel any emotions yet. she groans into the floor as a sharp pain shoots through her body, and the thrashing caused by that pain only makes her feel worse.
deep red and sticky, her blood pools around her. it leaks out of her left arm, which takes her a while to recognize as hers because of the way her elbow is inverted. she recognizes cries of children and shrieks of pain, which is a harsh contrast of the peaceful atmosphere earlier. how much earlier? how long has she been knocked out? and why is she on the floor?
after an eternity, two men in heavy jackets lift her onto a stretcher. she’s facing up this time, and now she can get a good look at the walls around her. they’re crumbling and splattered with blood, world famous paintings that were once hanging from them are now completely destroyed. either torn up or burnt to a crisp.
as they approach the bottom of the stairs, she makes the tough decision to peek over the stretcher, eyes frantically searching around the spot she was only just standing in. and there she is. that little girl with her bright blue hair, now drenched in red. her lips are still blue from the lollipop, but she’s grown pale and cold. and gone. and sevika couldn’t protect her.
before she closes her eyes, she takes in the scene one more time. piles of hair tangled together and skin melted into the floor. she’s seen some pretty outrageous things as a security guard, but never this. tears pour out of her eyes, the pain in her body making her wish she would’ve been taken out too. by what, she doesn’t know. she isn’t aware of where she is or what’s going on, all she knows is the pain in the left side of her body, and it’s all she’ll feel for the rest of her life.
iii. LIFT UP THE RECEIVER, I’LL MAKE YOU A BELIEVER
“sevika…?”
she blinks awake with a gasp, eyes wide as she takes in her surroundings. children’s toys litter the floor, flyers and posters on the wall, bright white lights beaming down on her— and her physical therapist standing about 2 feet away from her. sevika grumbles in embarrassment, trying to shake off her sleepiness as quickly as possible.
her therapist offers a sympathetic smile before waving her back. sevika curses those waiting room chairs for being so comfortable, or maybe it’s just because she doesn’t get much shut eye at home. her back is so weak and achy that she feels as if she’ll snap under the weight of gravity, but she tries to play it cool in front of her poor doctor. she’s already embarrassed herself enough today, she won’t let herself collapse in pain on the floor of the office.
“nice to see you again, sevika.” her PT smiles, “how’ve you been?”
how has she been? what a long list she could go down. first of all, she’s in so much physical pain she can barely sit upright without passing out. next, she hasn’t been sleeping well due to her night terrors, and she’s waken up soaked in sweat and shivering more often than not. finally, if this list has to end anywhere, she feels jealous. of the happy families she sees every day, of the kids with friends, of the adults with well paying jobs.
“i’ve been… surviving.” she says, purposefully ignoring the plethora of problems she has. this is physical therapy, she reminds herself. not the damn loony bin. get ahold of yourself.
“well, surviving is a great start.” her therapist says with a faux smile. “how has the pain in your shoulders felt since i last saw you? better? worse?” and with that, her voice trails off into the distance with sevika zoning out.
her poor arm gets bent in every single direction you can think of, even ones it’s not supposed to. she bites back her screams of agony and replaces them with little pained growls and whimpers. every time her arm gets bent slightly behind her, a shock of pure pain shoots through her spine and leaves her a shivering mess. the pain within her feels electric, like she’s about to burst into flames or something. it’s the worst thing she’s ever felt.
the tears in her eyes threaten to spill more than ever, but by some miracle she manages to hold them back. until she gets back to her apartment, at least.
as soon as she steps through the front door, she makes a beeline for her bedroom. burying her face in her pillow, she lets it all out. her pained scream is barely muffled by the pillow, but she continues to scream until her throat feels like sandpaper and she realizes that she can’t breathe.
gasping for air, she flops over. her vision is spotted and blurry from a mix of tears, pain, and exhaustion. she stares at her ceiling and cries while she chokes on her own staggered breaths, and she barely registers that someone’s knocking on her door until she hears her name called through it.
“sevika? are you alright, hon?” is followed by another few pounds on her door. she doesn’t want her anyone to call the cops, so she slowly and reluctantly rises from bed, grabbing onto her door frame to steady herself.
it’s her neighbor. curse these walls for being too thin.
sevika groans and rolls her eyes before opening the door, trying her best to plant an indifferent look on her face although it looks more like a pout. the old woman smiles up at her, glad to see that she’s alive after that screaming, but sevika can’t return the smile.
“what’s wrong? did something happen?” her neighbor asks.
“nothing’s wrong.” sevika grumbles, lying through her teeth.
“i know that’s not true honeybun, your eyes are bright red and your cheeks are wet with tears.” her neighbor coos. sevika thinks it’s annoying. she doesn’t want anyone’s sympathy.
“i’m alright, thank you.” she says sternly, although her neighbor keeps pushing.
“may i come in?”
sevika doesn’t answer, instead watching as the old lady walks past her and plants herself on sevika’s couch. “come chat with me.” she invites with a warm, grandmotherly smile.
“i’m not in the mood for chatting.” sevika glares.
“oh, dear,” her neighbor chuckles to herself. “i’m afraid i’m too mature to have you groan at me like a teenager. come sit.”
sevika comes up with another response, but it’s not a very friendly one. the angel on her shoulder tells her not to say it, that the poor woman is just trying to help, that sevika’s already been so much of a bother that she should just shut her mouth. but the devil on her shoulder is fed up right now, and sevika always favors the devil.
“i’m afraid you’re not an ounce as mature as i am. you haven’t been through what i have, and you have no place to tell me what to do in my own fucking apartment.” but sevika does listen to the lady, because she takes a seat right next to her on the couch.
her neighbor ignores her emotional outburst and instead asks “are you hungry?”
“no.” sevika scowls.
“tired?”
“exhausted.”
“sad? lonely? you’d do good with a pet around here. or a few plants. i can grow you a—”
“no thanks. i don’t need a… plant. or an animal.” sevika spits.
“hmm. you live a sad life, don’t you. i wonder what you were like before you came here.” her neighbor sighed.
“i don’t owe you an explanation. that’s private.”
“sevika, you can talk to me if you need to. i’m only one door down the hall, retired, it’s just me and my cats. i’ll always be available if you need something.”
“i don’t need anything.” sevika rolls her eyes. “much less your pity.”
“okay, fine then. if you won’t let me help you, i’ll make someone else help you.”
she reaches into her pocket and digs through her wallet, pulling out a thin paper card and handing it over to sevika. “come with me tomorrow. it’d do you wonders.”
“to… church? no thanks, i’ll pa—”
“okay, great. i’ll see you tomorrow morning then.” her neighbor says, rising and making her way to the door.
“i didn’t say i’d come.”
“i’ll pick you up at eight. better set an alarm.”
“i didn’t agree to co—” and sevika gets cut off by the slam of her own door before she can finish her sentence. whatever, when tomorrow rolls around she’ll just ignore her neighbor, pretending to be asleep or something.
she leans back on her couch, staring at the ceiling and wishing she had a pillow to grip onto, to scream into. another thing to add to the list. she stares at the ceiling instead, balling her hands up into fists as rage turns into sadness and sadness turns back into exhaustion.
it takes everything in her not to crawl to bed, but she stands and walks herself eventually. her shoulders sag and her torso slumps forward as she takes one step at a time, her posture making her about 4 inches shorter than she really is. her bed cradles her weight though, and she sighs into her cold, wet pillow once the tension in her body is released. it’s the best feeling ever. and before she knows it, her eyes are shutting, mind going back to that deep, dark memory.
——
7:30am rolls around, and sevika curses herself for waking up this early. now she’ll have to pretend to be asleep in front of her neighbor, and she’s not a good actress. she rolls out of bed, dragging herself to the bathroom to get her day started. she tries to avoid the mirror, but it’s impossible.
she stares at herself for a while, the uncomfortable feeling of someone else looking back at her creeps up on her. she doesn’t look like herself, she doesn’t look like sevika. she looks sick, tired, hurt, starving. the thought of food makes her stomach twist, she hasn’t eaten anything real in over a full day. maybe she should go easy on her neighbor and ask for a home-cooked meal. maybe.
her hair is fluffy and frayed at the ends, and her roots feel eternally greasy. her depression is so bad, she either showers daily in an attempt to scrub the hallucinated blood off, or she won’t shower for weeks. it’s like she can never win the battle.
a knock at the door disrupts her thoughts. “sevika?”
a groan involuntarily escapes her as she silently opens the bathroom door and creeps out into the living room. “sevika, wake up, it’s almost eight.”
she freezes, praying that her movements on top of her creaky floorboards go unobserved.
“sevika, dear, i can hear you on the other side of the door. you’re not fooling anyone.”
fuck. she’s not getting out of this, is she.
with another groan, she opens the door and sighs. the old lady smiles up at her, dressed in some sort of church attire. “grab a coat,” she says. “it’s chilly out.”
what else does sevika have to do, other than follow the orders? she’s trapped now. following this sweet old woman to church on a sunday. something she never thought she’d do. but she yanks a jacket over her shoulders and shoves her shoes on, not bothering to lock the door behind her. she claims she has nothing to lose in there, but that’s just because she lost her own apartment key a while ago.
she almost smiles when her neighbor shoves her into her car. almost. but she’s not exactly capable of that anymore. it’s so luxurious. she has a heater and a radio and a seat. it’s almost like she’s in a spaceship, marveling at all of these features that would make her life so much easier.
her excitement reaches it’s end as they pull into the parking lot of the building, and that pit in her stomach returns as she climbs out of the small car. if her legs worked a fraction of how well they used to, she’d run so far away from this place.
everything about it is repelling her. the building is huge, bright, colorful, everything she’s seen in her recurring nightmares. it smells like dust and coffee, children’s art line the walls, along with some more formal paintings and portraits. the ceiling seems to be made of glass— the kind that shatters easily and can slice your hands up.
the windows are colored with stained glass that portray different scenes. people made of bright colors dance and pose and feast all around them, their dazzling figures being illuminated by the white sunlight shining through the windows. it’s the kind of beauty she was attracted to years ago, the kind that nearly got her killed.
“sevika, come sit with me.” her neighbor says, derailing her train of thought. she practically has to drag sevika over to the pews as she stares at the buildings interior, feelings of fear and comfort flooding through her veins and stunning her.
she’s too busy taking in her surroundings to realize that the service has started, and she’s quickly reminded of how much she hates places like this. a large, beautiful room full of people. a community. something bad could happen at any moment, and she’d be in no shape to help any of them.
small droplets of blood fill her mouth one at a time as she anxiously chews on her bottom lip. she knows it’s a bad habit, but it’s oddly comforting. the metallic taste is just a reminder that she’s still alive, that the blood is still inside of her body instead of splattered across the floor. gross, ugh, don’t think of that.
in an attempt to tune out the preacher’s sermon, she decides to study the people around her. it’s a harsh reminder of past events, she swears she can almost recognize the faces of the dead bodies in them. all ages, young and old. parents cradling their newborn babies, seniors admiring their lover’s white hair, kids swinging their feet out in front of them in an attempt to stay occupied.
she tries to push these morbid thoughts away from her brain, but it’s not easy. it’s her minds default, it’s why she hasn’t stepped foot in any sort of large building in years. by some miracle, she’s survived a bombing once, how on earth could she do it again?
but to her luck, the ceremony is over before she knows it, and she’s about to escape before her neighbor yanks her back by the collar of her jacket. she pouts, rolls her eyes, and turns around to face her.
“meet my neighbor, sevika. this is her first time joining us.”
“nice to meet you, sevika.” and the man sticks his arm out to sevika, awaiting a returned hand shake. she doesn’t return it though, and she doesn’t even look at him. instead she just stares at the floor and says “yeah… thanks…”
her neighbor nudges her shoulder for being rude, but she doesn’t owe anyone anything. she doesn’t know if the man who tried to shake her hand is same guy who’s been blabbering on this whole time, but if it is, she doesn’t want anything to do with him.
“sevika, what the hell was that? i didn’t bring you here to be rude, i brought you here to learn something.”
sevika scoffs with a fake laugh, “i don’t need you to parent me.”
“then stop acting like a kid, let’s go meet more people.”
how was she gonna get out of this? oh well, in only a few hours she’ll be home again, resting and recharging in bed under the covers. she follows behind her neighbor like a lost puppy, not even looking in front of her, just staring down and making sure that she’s following the correct pair of shoes.
you greet sevika’s neighbor warmly, she’s a familiar face you’re always glad to see. sevika’s figure almost startles you when you peek up, almost. but you get yourself under control, asking the sweet older woman “who’s this?”
“this is sevika, my neighbor. it’s her first time joining us today.”
“oh! nice to meet you, sevika.” you smile, keeping your hands to yourself. sevika doesn’t know what to think of you, you’re so… different from everyone else here. you’re not dressed like everyone else, you look more like sevika than you do the others. but she wouldn’t expect someone like you to work at a church, would she? god, how the world has changed.
“nice to meet you.” she says, not bothering to attempt a weak smile, but giving a cordial nod in your direction anyways.
“we hope to see you around here soon. if you need anything, you know where to find me. although, you look like you’re in good hands.” you offer, giving sevika’s neighbor a friendly pat on the shoulder. sevika watches you walk off, wishing she could dissect you a little more. but she doesn’t hesitate to exit the building when her neighbor declares that it’s time to leave.
“are you hungry?” her neighbor asks once they’re in the car.
sevika’s mouth speaks before she can stop herself, “yes. starving.”
“good, you’ll come over for brunch. that wasn’t a question, by the way.” she smiles.
sevika rolls her eyes and almost smiles back. almost. but the ache in her lower back is making it hard to be happy in this moment.
her neighbor’s apartment is quite grandmotherly, to put it nicely. she has two cats— a black ball of fluff named “fluffy” and a skinny, all white cat named “snowy”, both of which were named by her grandchildren. there are plants and paintings and handmade quilts littering her place, every one of them having a story behind it. it’s cute, sure, but a little bit too maximalist for sevika’s enjoyment. at least she has furniture. good quality furniture.
a steaming teacup is placed in front of her seat at the counter, and both of the cats jump up to check it out. in all honesty, sevika thinks it’s kinda gross to live with animals. she doesn’t know where the hell those cats paws have been, and if it were up to her they wouldn’t be on the kitchen counter.
the cats waddle over to sevika, getting too close to comfort in an attempt to investigate the strange woman sitting at their counter. once she’s deemed safe, they raise their backs and point their tails up as if to ask for pets, but sevika scowls and awkwardly scoots away from the strange animals.
“not a cat person?” her neighbor laughs.
“no… not an animal person in general, really.”
“they’re sweet. give ‘em a pet.”
“no thanks…”
“fine. but you better eat up before they eat it for you.” her neighbor says, shoving a tall stack of pancakes in front of sevika. it’s a heavenly sight, and she almost feels bad for eating it instead of staring at the masterpiece for a while longer.
but that hungry pit in her stomach only grows and shoves itself against her stomach, so she has no choice to dig in. not that she’s complaining, and they taste absolutely divine. she grows uncomfortable again, last time she felt divine was the worst day of her life. it’s almost like a curse— one that never lets her feel true enjoyment.
fluffy and snowy meow loudly at her neighbor for food too, so she grabs a small dish and starts plopping some wet food onto it. again, sevika can’t fathom why someone would do that. on the counter? where she’s eating? but it’s not her apartment, so she keeps her mouth full of pancakes to stop the complaints.
she can’t wait to get home. checking the time, she realizes that it’s now afternoon. this has been the most eventful day she’s lived through in a while, and that triggers her anxiety to tone everything down. she needs a drink and a nap, so she thanks her neighbor and heads one door up the hall to her own apartment.
her door is unlocked, just how she left it, and she realizes that the only valuable thing in her apartment might be her liquor cabinet. maybe she should get a lock after all. add that to the list.
she guzzles down some whiskey directly from the bottle before stopping to take a breath. with how much she’s been drinking lately, she barely gets drunk anymore. it’s not fair, she might just have to find something stronger. jesus christ, i’m gonna drink myself to death. before she has a chance to bury herself back in bed, her phone rings. how strange, she hasn’t gotten a call in years. but what choice does she have, other than to lift up the receiver?
“yes?” she groans.
“hello,” you greet, a bit disturbed that someone would answer the phone with just ‘yes?’ “is this sevika?”
“who are you?”
“i’m from the church, we met earlier.”
“oh… okay… so…?”
“so, i wanted to tell you that i meant it when i said i hope you join us again. it was nice to see you, we rarely get any newcomers in this small town but… i can tell that you’re different.”
“okay…” sevika says. there is no way she’s stepping foot in that building again. jesus christ himself could not drag her in there.
“so… you’ll come?”
“i still need to be convinced.”
“easy. but i’ll need you to show up for that.”
“maybe.” she says, and you feel like you can hear a hint of promise in her voice.
“okay, well, have a good rest of your day. i’ll see you soon. maybe.” you say, about to hang up.
“how did you get my number?” she questions.
“helen gave it to me.”
“…who?”
“your neighbor? helen?”
“oh… right.” how could she not know her own neighbor’s name?
“sevika, don’t worry.” you assure her. “i’ll help you believe.” and the line goes quiet.
iv. I WILL DELIVER, YOU KNOW I’M A FORGIVER
that day was the first time you saw sevika, and you wish you could live in that moment forever. she was so soft and so sharp at the same time, and it was surprisingly harmonious. her physical features were striking, she looked almost… scary. but that scariness was easily cancelled out by her gentleness.
her cheeks were thin and sunken, but her chin effortlessly faded into the smooth skin of her neck. her nose stuck straight out of her head, but there was a slight curve to it that made you wanna run a gentle fingertip over it. her eyes were bright and silver, but they were so big and so round. she was tall, sticking up higher than anyone else in the room, but her hips and thighs were so plush and thick, she took up just the right amount of space.
she was just plain gorgeous. usually you’d scold yourself for thinking about another woman this way, but you’d been slowly coming to terms with your sexuality. as long as you don’t act on it.
from the moment you laid eyes on her, you knew you had to guide her. it was like some sort of fate or destiny. here’s this immaculate woman showing up in front of you in desperate need of help, your help specifically. it was a perfect mission, you’d do anything in her power to earn her trust and to help her feel that faith.
by some miracle, she answered the phone when you rang. judging by her previous attitude, you almost expected her to storm back down to the church and smack you across the face. your conversation was unproductive, sure, but it was a good start. well, if she decides to show up, that is. you don’t doubt her, if anything you can just ask her neighbor to force her to tag along again.
the mental image of her floats around in your head all day. what are you gonna do when she does show up? give her some sort of speech? she’ll probably just tune you out like she does to the rest of the world. you wonder why she acts the way she does, there’s no way anybody with a normal life could act this guarded. you just hope she opens up eventually, you’d kill to get to know her.
sevika’s not amused. she doesn’t want anyone’s help, or to pretend to have faith in something that’s all just make believe. really, the only thing she wants is some peace and quiet, and for the pain in her shoulders to lessen. before returning to her den, she sluggishly trudges to the kitchen cupboards, yanking them open in search of some painkillers. to her luck, there are two small pills left, which she quickly downs. she chooses water over whiskey this time, shockingly, because she’s a little bit frightened by drinking herself to death. which is strange, and she wonders why she values her life so much.
no matter what you do, you can’t get this woman off of your mind. something about her makes you feel different than how other people make you feel, but you can’t tell what it is or why. you need a plan. you need to talk to her again. or at least some confidence would be handy. but instead of dwelling on it, you decide to go for a walk.
the walk doesn’t really work though, it actually does the opposite of clearing your mind. you have nothing to focus on, no work to do, so you just think. your mind runs wild the whole time. you’re so intrigued, so excited yet nervous, you feel like it’s almost a craving. almost, because you’re not really sure what a craving is. not until you meet her, at least.
after swallowing her pain meds, sevika crawls back into bed, the heavy feeling of anxiety that settled over her chest slowly but surely fades, and she’s eased into a light afternoon nap. the plain white walls of her room offer some familiar comfort, but the more she looks at them, the more she’s reminded of the hospital. fuck, maybe she should try to decorate the place. and she really does need to go shopping later.
——
she wakes up nearly three hours later feeling more exhausted than before she slept. at least she feels a bit more calm, but the looming feeling of her responsibilities made her groan. another reason why she doesn’t want pets: it’s another mouth to feed, to walk, clean up after, bathe, spend time with. she can barely do those things for herself, how on earth could she do it for something else?
rather than pouting about her responsibilities, she makes the tough decision to get out of bed and get started with her day. get started meaning that it’s almost 6:00pm and she’s only just now attempting to complete her to-do list. and so what? she lives on her own terms. she doesn’t bother brushing her messy hair after her nap, even less to keep it out of her face with a little half ponytail. it never works anyways, the wind whips it all around you until it sticks to the sides of your face with humidity.
so, that’s it then, and she shoves her shoes and her coat on and leaves. the door stays unlocked, of course, and she makes her way down the stairwell and out of the building. there’s a small grocery store on her block which is conveniently located next to a liquor store. if she has the funds after buying her necessities, she’ll stop in there for a treat. actually, she’ll probably stop in there anyways, but she likes to think that she still has some self control left when it comes to drinking.
does she remember what she needed to buy? no. and did she bother to write down her mental shopping list as it came to her? nope! but it’ll come to her. hopefully. she spends the whole walk there trying to focus on what she needs to spend her money on and what she wants to spend her money on. she needs more painkillers, more snacks, some sort of decoration for her place, and… was there something else?
she crosses into the store and she’s immediately greeted by the sound of loud pop music buzzing through the speakers. great, so she’s overstimulated already. she’ll make it quick, she decides, it’s not like she wanted to be here in the first place.
sauntering down the aisles, she picks up everything she needs. at least, everything she remembers that she needs. she grabs a large bottle of extra strength ibuprofen, more bread and butter, microwave meals, milk and eggs, and what else? before she can think of another thing to add, she decides to just leave. if she thinks of anything else, she can always just come back later.
her shoulders sag under the weight of her basket, full of stuff that’ll probably just rot in her fridge. as she approaches the register, she sighs as the man behind it attempts to strike up a conversation with her. she’s not interested, she never has been, and she has no clue why he insists on chatting with her every time she’s there.
she doesn’t respond to the man the entire time she’s there, just staring daggers past him. she doesn’t even muster out a “good evening” or “goodnight”. i mean jesus, even a “fuck you” might’ve been polite. it’s not like she cares.
but she does stop by the liquor store on the way home, as we knew she would. she decides to treat herself, picking up not only one, but two bottles off of the shelf. whiskey and vodka, not cheap but it does the job. the money will come back around anyways. the man behind the counter, this time stoned out of his mind, asks her what she’s gonna do with the alcohol.
“what am i gonna do with it?” she repeats, obviously annoyed and confused. “what the fuck do you think?”
“mannnn, i bet you could make a hundred bottles of homemade mouthwash with this stuff. fucking awesome.”
sevika rolls her eyes and collects the large glass bottles, shoving them into her bag as gently as she can. she has no idea why everyone’s so interested in talking with her tonight, it’s like she’s wearing a glowing neon sign above her head that says “TALK TO ME!”
does she look approachable? happy? friendly? welcoming? no, obviously not. she must not be part of this inside joke the world is playing on her tonight.
so you’re surprised to see sevika when you’re out for your second walk of the night. pacing around in your own house wasn’t working, and all you wanted was some fresh air. well, maybe not fresh, but the temperature definitely did shock you. you almost walked right past her until you recognized her statuesque figure. she was across the parking lot, rolling her eyes and shoving the door to the liquor shop open as she stepped back outside.
huh. sevika at a liquor shop. not necessarily unusual for a person, but forbidden for you. you wonder if this is a ritual for her, if she’s gonna go home and get drunk or something, or maybe if she’s gonna split the bottle with some friends. does she even have friends?
you turn around and head in the same direction she does, hoping your paths cross before her quick, long strides can leave you behind. and you eventually catch up to her, pretending you had no idea you’d run into her, you greet her with a “oh, sevika! hey, i didn’t expect to see you here.” except, you did expect to see her here. you already spied her storming out of the liquor store. ugh, you’re such a bad liar.
“oh… hi.” she mumbles, a little disturbed by your sudden appearance, and already burnt out from the two people who’ve made small talk with her in the past hour. while you stand in front of her, she raises her eyebrow slightly as if to signal that she’s waiting for you to say something before she walks away.
“i’ll see you next week, yeah?” you remind her, not really sure of what to say. partly because the meeting is so sudden, and partly because this woman is breathtaking.
“yeah, maybe.” she agrees halfheartedly.
“i don’t want your ‘maybe’s sevika. i want you to say yes to me.” you challenge, huffing at her indecisiveness. “if you want me to help you, i need a yes.”
“help me with what?” she asks, pretending to be shocked and offended at your words. you stutter, staring up at her with a sorry look in your eyes.
“oh, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean—”
“i’m just fucking with you.” she says, chuckling to herself and offering a small smile. and as if her face couldn’t get any more perfect, you notice a small gap between two of her top teeth. she’s so beautiful you feel like you’re gonna melt, even in this chilly autumn weather.
before you think about what you’re saying next, you blurt out a “tomorrow? can i see you tomorrow?”
she raises her eyebrows at your bluntness, the suggestion seems to come out of nowhere. but what else does she have to do? and she already feels bad for fucking with you all of the time, shouldn’t she just give in and attend whatever stupid meeting you have planned for her?
“i— i guess, yeah.”
“you guess?” you tease. “or you will show up?”
“i will. i’ll see you tomorrow.” she admits with a huff.
“good, i’ll see you tomorrow too then.” you say, and you offer her a small wave before walking past her and continuing with your walk. after seeing her, your mind automatically feels so much clearer considering the fact that she was the one occupying all of your thoughts.
sevika stands frozen in place as you walk away, holding her bag in her hand as she reflects on what she just agreed to. why the fuck would she say yes to that? she doesn’t believe in any of your religious bullshit, and she doesn’t care to try. but it’s too late, she’ll just have to let you down easy when tomorrow comes.
but when tomorrow does come, she decides to go a little bit easier on herself. it’s not like you’re trying to annoy her with all of your beliefs and jargon and whatnot, and she can tell that this actually does mean a lot to you. plus, she’s in a good mood after remembering that she bought two new bottles of alcohol. she even ate a little bit last night and managed to keep it all down, which is a rare occurrence for her. so yeah, it might be a good day.
the sun peeks out just a tiny bit from behind the clouds as she walks herself back to the church, which offers a nice, although minuscule, bit of warmth. you’re already there by the time she arrives, and you greet her with a warm smile and invite her down the long hallway to your ‘office’. it’s not technically a real office since you don’t do too much work other than filing papers and planning events, you just begged them to give you a room that you could sit alone in sometimes.
you don’t have any sort of plan on how you’re gonna convert sevika, or how to at least help her fix up her life a little bit, but you do wanna get to know her. so you start with that. you ask her where she’s from and if she’s lived here her whole life, and you’re surprised to learn that she used to work in new york. all the way across the country.
she hesitates to tell you why she left though, saying she’d rather save it for a later session when she gets more comfortable. which she regrets almost instantly, because she just solidified herself another few meetings like these. she tells you more, like how she was always close with her mother until she passed when sevika was only ten. and how she definitelty inherited some anger from her dad, even though she never liked him.
her childhood was interesting. to you at least. she was just stable enough to keep herself afloat, but unstable enough for her to be left with some sort of trauma. she moved out as soon as she reached eighteen and never looked back. she scoured for jobs that would be good for someone like her, someone broken but strong. resilient, you call it.
the two of you chat for nearly three hours, you asking questions after question and her answering nearly all of them. but the one question that you’re too scared to ask is this: what happened that turned her into… this? she said it had something to do with her job, something that just completely broke her and left her unable to snap back. but what was it? how bad could it have been? what job did she have? was it her fault? but you did agree to letting her tell you on her own terms, so you’ll just have to wait until she’s ready.
eventually your time is up, and you walk sevika back out of the double doors of the small building. she flashes you a small smile, one that you’re already obsessed with, and she turns to leave.
“wait.” you call after her, although she’s only about six feet away from you. “you don’t have a car?”
“no.”
“how did you get here?”
“i… walked…” she says, waiting for you to get to your point.
“all this way?”
“it’s only about a block and a half.”
“but— well…” now you feel bad. you didn’t know that you were forcing her to exercise her exhausted joints and muscles in this weather. sure, maybe she doesn’t mind, but if you were her you’d probably throw a tantrum. “do you want me to drive you?” you ask.
“sure, if you really want to.”
“of course i want to.” you say, and you practically drag her off of the sidewalk and shove her into the passenger side of your car. the drive is short, her building really is just about a block and a half away.
“i’ll see you next week.” you say.
“yeah, see you then.” she responds, and for once it doesn’t feel forced or awkward.
“and tell helen i say hi if you see her. assuming you know who she is?” you giggle.
“yes, i know my own neighbor.” she says, rolling her eyes and chuckling.
“just making sure…” you tease.
sevika just laughs and waves you goodbye through your front window, disappearing into the building and up the stairs. you don’t even register it— to busy with staring at her back— but eventually it hits you that she laughed. this mysterious, guarded woman laughed at something you said. and she spent the last three hours opening up to you about her life. and for the first time in quite a while, you feel like you’re finally good at your job.
——
sevika’s been following through on her promise, meeting you for exactly four weeks now. twenty eight days. you started out with just seeing her twice a week, then every other day, and now you see each other daily. she opened up to you about how much she hates the church setting, how it activates her fight or flight response and brings up old memories, so you switched to taking her to a small local cafe instead.
it’s great. you get to have real coffee, not the burnt stuff from the coffee pot in the church’s kitchen. you’ve also been forcing sevika to eat after learning that it’s been a struggle for her. nothing big, but you make sure she always has at least a muffin or a croissant in her stomach. you pick her up and driving her there too, which is good for her because she can finally relax instead of being worn out from walking everywhere.
she’s taken a liking to you, every morning she’s glad she wakes up because she knows she can see you again. it’s such a strange feeling, but she enjoys it. opening up to you wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be either. you listen so attentively, and you’re always careful to ask appropriate questions and give her a break without her even having to ask for one.
it’s never been easy for her to talk about what happened in her past, and she wishes she had the ability to forget about it completely. but it’s easier with you. every time her eyes grow wide and teary as she pictures the bodies, you change the topic and point at a cute dog outside of the window. or when she gets choked up, stumbling over her words because the brutality of the situation is just too much for her, you let her take her time.
the most memorable moment for her was when she told you about that kid with the blue hair. everything else, sevika managed to stay under control about. sure, the mangled body parts and the melted flesh was bad, but that fucking kid. her lips were still blue. she’d been so alive only moments earlier, smiling as sevika gave her a fist bump and held her in her arms, and she was gone just like that.
when she told you, she couldn’t help but break down in heavy sobs. you could feel your heart shatter at this— the story and sevika’s reaction to it. you scrambled from your side of the booth to hers, scooting in next to her and wrapping her up in a hug as she cried. to your surprise, she hugged you back. she hooked her chin over your shoulder, grabbed you tightly in her strong arms, and just let herself go.
it’s the most tranquility she’s ever felt, and it put all of her past therapists to shame. immediately after that day, the two of you were bonded. you’d do anything for her. be a shoulder to cry on, drive her to and from her various doctors appointments, and make sure she’s eating.
she’s started to trust you, and she agreed to going back to the church with you a few times a week. instead of taking your usual spot with the rest of the staff and speakers, you sit with her every time. sevika on your left, her neighbor on your right.
today you’re feeling particularly bold for some reason, you suspect it might be because of your friendship with sevika, but this feels different. well, you know how it feels, but you’re scared to admit it. although you’ll probably be fine, you’re hesitant to say it to yourself out of the fear that you’ll be thrown out of the church. yes, you like sevika, and sure, she is a beautiful woman. but you just can’t bring yourself to say it. to say that you have a real crush on her. to admit that you want her.
so instead of saying anything, you use your actions instead. glancing over both of your shoulders, you make sure that nobody important is looking in your direction before you snake your hand forward and wrap your hand around sevika’s. this action is the farthest you’ve ever gone with anyone, and your cheeks are practically on fire with how hard you’re blushing. you wouldn’t be surprised if the whole building could hear your heartbeat right now.
sevika adjusts her fingers so that she’s gripping your hand firmly, and you feel so… dirty, almost. you know that this is nothing, but you’re scared and ashamed of what other people might think. but although it initially feels wrong, you settle down when you realize that nobody’s looking— even more that nobody cares— and it feels so right. her hands are surprisingly warm and soft, they feel so welcoming and familiar against yours.
maybe, just maybe, you’ll hold her hand more often. but for now, this is just a one-time occurrence.
she notices the panicked look in your eyes as you stare straight ahead. she tries to nudge you gently, but you’re in such a deep stupor that you don’t notice it.
“hey.” she whispers, elbowing you a bit harder than last time. “you okay?”
you realize now that she’s trying to talk to you, so you just squeeze her hand and give her a small nod, blinking your eyes a few times and trying to snap back into reality. once the ceremony is over, you stand and walk sevika and her neighbor to the door quickly.
“are you sure you’re alright?” she asks again.
“yeah, it’s nothing.”
“you know that… this works both ways, right?” she says, gesturing between both of your bodies. “if you need someone to talk to, i can listen.”
“i know, thank you.” you start. “but it’s not like that. it’s nothing… bad. i think? but i’m fine. or— i will be fine.” you say, stumbling over your words incredibly hard.
“you don’t seem fine to me.” she retorts.
“i am, thank you though. get home safely.” you choke out, missing a crucial part to your signature goodbye’s.
“…see you tomorrow?” she asks.
“oh, yes! see you tomorrow, i knew i was forgetting something.”
sevika flicks you on the forehead, before turning to leave. “get some rest, then.”
“i will.” you laugh, although it’s forced.
as soon as her and her neighbor are out of sight, you turn around and make a beeline for your office at the end of the hall. your eyes are glued to the floor, purposefully ignoring anyone’s gaze in case they try to chat with you.
the door clicks locked behind you, and you slump down in our office chair. with your head in your hands, you start to cry. the anxiety in your chest is just too much to handle, and you’re so upset with yourself. you’re upset because it felt so good to be that close to her, and you let yourself indulge in something you know you’ll never get to have. you allowed yourself to catch feelings, but you know you can’t go any further. you’ll have to stick with just thinking she’s pretty and sweet and yours, and watch her fall in love with another woman.
worst of all, she’ll probably fall in love with a woman who’s the total opposite of you. someone who’s experienced and not awkward and cool. and not you. and this really hurts to realize.
what are you supposed to do now? now that you’ve admitted how you feel to yourself, what else is there to do? you can’t ask her out on a date, that would be against everything your community believes in. but are you really supposed to just sit here and play along? it’s not fair. your adrenaline is so high right now that all you really want to do is run.
and that's just what you do. you don't even bother to use the exit door down the hallway, you just peel your window open and hop out of it. tears prickle your eyes and the frosty air nips at your skin, but it helps even out your overheating temperature. you’ve walked this route a millions times already, it’s nothing different but the gentle scenery offers a nice place to think.
you think about all of the sweet moments you’ve shared together, specifically about how much it means to you. you’ve never really had a friend like this before. sure, you’re convivial, but having someone like this was so different. she was yours. and you’d gladly be hers if she asked you to, but would she ask you to? would she ever ask someone like you to be hers?
but you also think about how much your religion means to you. you’ve been part of this for so long, working harder to have a strong sense of faith every single day. if you get with sevika, they could cut you off in an instant, and it would’ve all been for nothing. your reputation would be ruined, and if you’d ever wanna start over with another church, you’d have to leave this small town. leave your home.
it’s just not fair. why did god make you this way? for everyone else, falling in love with a man is no problem. they were made the right way, or at least know how to ignore their true feeling really well. was there some sort of secret lesson that you missed? that everyone is in on besides you?
once you get dizzy and out of breath, you find a stump to sit on and reflect. your shoes kick at the dirt underneath you, brain fuzzy as you try to decide on what to do. little bugs crawl around on the ground beneath you, each one of them having a family and a home. i wish i could have a family, you think. you can hear rain pattering on the leaves of the trees above you, but you stay dry. well, as dry as you possibly can be living this close to the ocean.
you don’t even realize how long you’ve been sitting here lost in your thoughts before the sky turns a lovely light shade of orange, and you realize you’d better leave now if you wanna get back before dark. the only thing on your mind as always is sevika.
sevika has been thinking about you all night too, wondering if you’re okay after the way you acted. she won’t push, she wants to give you time to open up to her the same way you did, but she just worries. and she misses the warmth of your hand in hers, although she could tell you were nervous. in her opinion, it was cute. she admires how gentle you are, how you always make sure others are alright before making sure you are alright. but whatever it is, she doesn’t doubt that you’ll be fine.
leaving your window open was a stupid idea, now your entire office is cold and there’s a puddle of rainwater leaking down the bottom of the window and onto the floor. but you’ve made up your mind. you need to call her. you know that she’s infinitely more experienced with these feelings than you are, so she’ll be able to help you, even if those feelings are about her.
she’s about to go to bed early when her phone rings again. she knows it’s you before she even picks up— you’re the only one with her number.
“yes?”
“…sevika.” you sob out, the small whimper of her name followed by sniffles and cries.
“holy shit, are you okay?” she asks frantically, scared that maybe you’re hurt or something.
“well… physically yes. but i just… miss you. i need to talk to you in person.”
“okay, yeah. i’m on my way.” she says, and she practically flies out of her building and down the street to get to you. it’s not late, but the sky is already pitch black due to how early the sun sets. you meet her at the door again when she arrives, and the sight of her instantly calms your nerves. she looks so worried, it makes your heart twist. you’re so in love and it’s all her fault.
she doesn’t hesitate to wrap you up in her arms as you sob into her shoulder, and this gesture only makes you sob harder. because you’re so in love and you think you know which side you’re choosing. and it breaks your heart.
“what’s going on?” she asks, and you realize you’re still standing in the doorway.
“come inside, i’ll explain.”
“okay…” she whispers. “did something happen?”
“i have a question.”
“of course. ask me anything.”
“do you ever…” you trail off, trying to find the right words. “feel like… like you can’t live without someone? and you’d give up anything to be with them?”
“yeah, i guess i’ve felt that way before.” she admits quizzically.
“what’s it called?” you ask, although you already know the answer.
“love?” she guesses.
“sevika, can i tell you something?”
“yeah, go ahead.” she says, worried that maybe you’re about to admit to killing someone.
“i think…” you start, but you get interrupted by tears dripping past your eyes and down your cheeks.
“spit it out,” she prompts. “you can trust me.”
“i think i’m in love with you.” you blurt out, biting the bullet.
“oh…” she says, and she almost steps away from you before she realizes that you’re crying again. so she wraps you in another hug and rubs your back. you grip onto her so hard you can barely breathe, and you cry in her arms for so long that you’re brought to your knees. sevika holds you even after you fall the the floor, keeling before you as your knees give out.
she’s in love with you too, but she didn’t wanna say anything in case it made you uncomfortable. plus, she’s not really into corruption or anything, so she decided to just respect your boundaries. but eventually her joints grew sore of sitting on the floor, so she rose, holding your face in her hands and wiping up all of your tears as they fall.
v. REACH OUT AND TOUCH FAITH
every little thing about her attracted you. sevika was a lost soul, mysterious above all. a woman who needed help and direction but was so strong, you swore she could hold the whole world on her shoulders, no matter how much she’d whine about the pain. she complains about people— how there are too many of them and how they’re all stupid— but she’d give her life in a heartbeat to save them.
you couldn’t crack her, no matter how hard you tried.
she looked down at you with her silver eyes sparkling in the candlelight, her hair falling over her face in a silky curtain. you gasped as her thick hands took their place on either side of your head, each one cupping your cheeks so tenderly although they have a rough exterior. you always knew she was capable of being gentle.
you looked up at her from your position on your knees, her torso looking impossibly longer than usual. something comes over you, something that warms up your stomach until you feel so dizzy you feel the need to reach for something to steady yourself. unaware of just how much trouble this would get you in, you end up grabbing for her upper thighs. they’re so thick that your hands are almost completely flat, but they’re sturdy. perfect for grabbing onto.
she chuckles at your flushed state, huffing out an amused “it’s alright, you can touch me if you want. you won’t burst into flames.”
those two sentences make your cheeks heat up involuntarily. you know what she’s implying, and it makes you feel strangely electric. if you don’t burst into flames by this act of sinning, you’ll burst into flames due to how flustered you are. she does something to you that feels so enchanting, like some sort of spell she’s casted. you’ve been frozen in place for so long that you hardly register the soft caress of her thumbs against the apples of your cheeks. if she were medusa, you’d get turned to stone in an instant.
“sevika, what are you— we should—”
“what are you thinking about right now?” she asks, tauntingly putting an end to your stuttering mess of a sentence.
“uh— medusa. and you. you remind me of her.” you choke out, reaching up and gripping onto her biceps before hauling yourself up.
“how so?”
“i always feel like you put me under some kind of spell. like when i’m with you i’m frozen in place. in a good way.” you respond, your breath tickling her face as you gaze up at her from a closer distance this time.
most of your dizziness has relented, and now you sense something softer in the way sevika gazes at you. like she’s pleading for something she doesn’t know how to ask for. she stammers back, almost hitting the wall, and you grow concerned. the roles have shifted. little do you know, you’re in power now. she feels… weak. and needy. something tingly settles in her stomach, she can’t decipher whether it’s anxiety or horniness.
“sevika?” you ask with concern, slowly walking over to where she’s pressed against the wall. her chest heaves as she breathes deeply, and she shivers when you reach out to grab her hand. “are you feeling alright?”
“i don’t think i can do this anymore.” she confesses, her big, silver eyes growing glossy with tears. “i’m— i can’t do this to you.”
“what are you talking about?” you attempt to soothe, worried that maybe she’s suddenly gotten possessed or something.
“you belong here, sevika. you’re not doing anything wrong. if anything, it’s me who should back off right now.”
“it’s not about that.” she sighs, unable to meet your gaze, her eyes instead settling for your lips. a sight she’s seen many times before in her most erotic fantasies.
“what are you feeling right now?” you ask, your therapist persona settling over you in case she’s about to reveal more of her past trauma.
“i… i can’t say it.” she whispers, now solely focused on the curve of your lips and how they’re still shining from the last time your tongue trailed over them.
“you can trust me.” you whisper back. “always.”
sevika studies your words in her mind, hoping that you’d still mean them if you could see the thoughts running wild in her mind right now. she inches closer to you and her nose almost brushes yours. the tension in the room makes her squirm, thighs pressing together in an attempt to soothe the ache between them. somehow, in some strange way, this feels better than sex. better than anything she’s ever smoked, any liquid she could get drunk on.
you are her intoxicant. her stronger substance. her higher power. her breath of fresh air in this humid town. you are what she’s been searching for.
before she makes another move, she pauses. you’re looking at her with such concern, such love, her heart feels like it’s gonna burst. she theorizes that you’re aware of exactly what she’s thinking, but she has no way to know. sevika wonders how you’d react if she leaned forward and kissed you right now.
you have a sneaking suspicion that she’s thinking of something… lustful right now. it shows in her eyes. wide with pupils big and blown out, and the silver in them is practically glittering. she looks pretty, you think, and soft. and although it’s against almost everything you believe in, you probably wouldn’t mind if she leaned in right now and just—
her lips come crashing against yours, a beautiful harmony of carnal aggression and tender care. gravity suddenly feels about twenty times stronger, and you near collapse in sevika’s strong arms. instead of that, you regain your balance after stumbling and back her against the wall. her back hits it with a thud, and she whimpers into your mouth. she whimpers.
it’s as if everything you’ve ever believed in suddenly floods out of your mind. you don’t care which god sees you kissing another woman with such animal desire. somehow it doesn’t matter to you anymore. all that matters is sevika. her safety, her trust, her pleasure.
for once, you allow yourself to feel this way. although it feels wrong, it’s so freeing. you’re an adult for god’s sake, and you’ve missed out on so much due to the strict rules of the church. you want this, you deserve this. after all, it is technically your job to guide sevika, to make her feel good. how is this any different?
as her lips part, you take the chance to slide your tongue over hers. just a gentle brush, but the warm heat of her mouth drives you crazy. her hands claw at your hips, pulling you closer until there’s no gap between the pair of you. this level of closeness isn’t something you’re used to, but fuck, it feels so right.
you can feel the way her thighs tighten when she squirms and clenches them together, feel her own tits rub against yours through your clothes. the intimacy of the moment almost feels awkward, especially because it’s completely silent other than the sounds of your lips smacking together. but before you can dwell on the embarrassment crashing over you, sevika grounds you by moaning your name into your mouth.
as if you weren’t already turned on, this flips a switch and activates something in you that’s a hundred times stronger. both of you pant when you pull back, staring into the silver pools of sevika’s irises. you need her. now. in every way possible.
“take your clothes off.” you demand. sevika nods momentarily, but she hesitates.
“are you sure? we don’t need to— if you’re not comfortable with it that’s fi—”
“now, sevika.” you huff at her attempt to be gentlemanly, but you know she’s craving this as much as you are.
without another word, she strips herself of her shirt, leaving her in just a black sports bra and jeans. you halt your own undressing to stare at her. and god. she’s fucking perfect. her abdomen carries the remnants of what you assume used to be a thick six pack of abs. and although you can’t exactly see them yet, her tits are wide and heavy looking, her ribs poking out slightly under them.
something that you didn’t expect to turn you on is her happy trail. she’s got a thick line of dark, coarse hair running from her belly button all the way down to—
her pants drop to the floor as you continue to stare at her, and your eyes trail lower and lower until they reach the ground. her thighs look impossibly thicker, and you’re surprised about how much she complains about her body. she looks so strong, like nothing could ever hurt her. and as for being insecure? impossible for someone who looks as good as she does. you’d do anything to make her aware of just how beautiful she is.
as she stands almost naked before you, she peeps out a timid “your turn.”
before you think twice, you tackle her to the floor, crushing her lips under yours and shoving your tongue back into her mouth. she whimpers when she hits the ground, albeit mostly out of pain instead of pleasure. you slightly pull away with a gasp, concerned about potentially hurting her— the opposite of your intentions.
“fuck, sorry.” you groan against her lips. “did i hurt you?”
“it’s alright.” she responds. “worth it to have a pretty thing like you on top of me.”
with that, you’re kissing her even deeper, grabbing onto the back of her head to get a better angle with your tongue. she shuffles slightly under you, bucking her hips up as she unbuttons your own pants. shit, you think to yourself, i’ve never done this before.
your bottoms are quickly discarded, sevika throws them somewhere behind you the second they’re off. you’re dying to get your hands on her tits, but you don’t know how to ask. it’s a good think she can always tell what you’re thinking, because she reaches up to hook her thumbs under her bra and yank it off. and god, you were right. her tits are wide and heavy, they’re so smooth and round with the most perfect brown nipples sitting proudly in the center of each one.
you lean forward to give each one a kiss, just a gentle brush, but it doesn’t really satisfy your craving for her. you pout, you’re so horny that it hurts. no matter what article of clothing she removes, it’s not enough. you just wanna crawl inside of her and live there.
“what’s wrong?” she asks.
“i need you.”
“have you ever had sex before?”
“no. i have no idea what i’m doing.”
“guess it’s my turn to guide you.” she laughs, and although the joke was stupid, you giggle too. you didn’t know it could be this fun.
she shuffles under you as she slides her boxers off, and you almost drool at the sight of her bush. it’s just so… beautiful. and intimate. she pats your hips as a signal to scoot off of her, and she spreads her legs before manhandling you to sit your cunt on top of hers. as soon as you connect your cunt with hers, you swear you black out.
it all feels so good. she keeps spreading her legs wider to help you get a better angle against her clit, and you can feel it throbbing against yours. you thought holding her hand was intimate, but this is so much more than you could’ve imagined.
“fuck, sevika.” you moan, tears crashing over you again and dripping onto her cheeks now. “you’re so beautiful.”
she groans at this, tears washing over her too. she hasn’t felt beautiful in so long, and here you are completely undoing her insecurities. all of the scars on her face, cheeks, neck, arms, and torso get kissed. you trail your fingers along some, your tongue along others. you want her to feel loved. you want her to feel the exact same way that she makes you feel.
“you’re beautiful too.” she admits sheepishly. “i can’t believe i haven’t fucked you sooner.”
this flusters you. it’s hard for you to believe that anyone can just be this confident saying things like that, especially because you’re not used to it. but it feels so good to be desired. to have the woman of your dreams using you to get off.
you’re both so sensitive that it doesn’t take long for either of you to cum. sevika’s catches her first after you tell her how beautiful her scars are, even though she used to believe they were the ugliest things known to mankind. she gasps as she cums, her thick cream leaking out of her cunt and down her ass.
you eventually follow after her when she readjusts, moving one of her hands down from your neck onto your hip. she grinds up into you, and your clit meets hers at such an angle that you cum with a scream. it’s dizzying. you gasp and moan and writhe as your orgasm crashes down over you. considering that it’s your first, you weren’t expecting it to be so enveloping. you were taught that sex was unholy, gross, sinful, and a plethora of other negative adjectives.
but it’s not.
you imagine that this is what heaven feels like, a shock of pleasure that runs through your body and leaves you panting and reeling. and it’s fun. as soon as you come down, sevika’s congratulating you on a good job and holding you close. you cry again, but this time not out of fear, out of certainty. you have it all figured out. you’ve just felt the best sensation of your life and here’s the love of your life smiling up from under you.
and so sevika holds you for another few minutes. yeah, you’re both naked in the middle of church, and yeah you’d be burned at the stake if anyone ever found out. but you wouldn’t mind that, as long as you have sevika with you.
“sevika?” you ask after a long while of silent kisses and tickling breaths.
“yeah?”
“i think we need to get out of here.”
“alright. where to?”
“i dunno. let’s leave the country.”
sevika laughs at this, and it’s a sound prettier than anything you’ve ever heard. something you’ll never get sick of. “fuck, i love you so much.”
but before convincing her to leave the country with you, you drive her to a small 24 hour diner down the street and have dinner together. it’s a real date, although all of those coffee shop meeting have gotta count for something too. you hold her hand across the table, this time not afraid, and share a milkshake just like they do in the movies.
so yeah, maybe things didn’t work out for you with this certain group of people, and maybe it does still take a while for you to get over your fear of societal rejection, but sevika is there for you every step of the way. as your girlfriend. officially.
OK HAIII if you made it all the way through my the treacherous jungle of my yap and you’re reading this, thank you so much!!!! i poured my entire heart and soul (and pussy) into this so i hope u enjoyed hehehe :P special thanks to pluto, rayray, eren, and lyss for allowing me to yap about this fic to them, i couldn’t have done it without you guys 🥹 my favorite people in the world right here, MWAH here’s a kiss from ennabear <3 and another thanks to the rest of my mutuals for putting up with the empty promises of “coming soon” at least it’s actually finished now!! i love all of you, let me know what you thought of this one!!! comments and reblogs are very highly appreciated 🤎🤎
#i’m so shocked that i actually finished this wtf 😭 BUT MY BABY IS HERE#PRIDE AND JOY IS FINALLY DONE COOKING#idk what else to say my brain is so fried i’ve been writing for so long#sevika#sevika arcane#sevika x reader#sevika x female reader#sevika x you#sevika arcane x reader#sevika smut#arcane sevika#arcane#arcane netflix#arcane league of legends#arcane season 2
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐗-𝐌𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐏𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
↳ includes: charles xavier, erik lehnsherr, logan howlett, marie lebeau, and peter maximoff
↳ warnings: x-man type violence maybe? nothing much
↳ notes: just some self indulgent headcanons about how the gang would deal with someone who hates skin on skin contact. this is based on my own personal experiences, so it might not cater to everyone. charles and erik are written to be more of themselves around the first class era, peter is himself as seen in apocalypse, and marie & logan are more set in the first movie's portrayal of them
↳ song: heavy metal lover—lady gaga
masterlist | commissions | carrd
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫 [𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫 𝐗]
• Oh this is not one bit of a problem for Charles
• He's never needed physical contact to connect with people. Whether that's because of his powers, or his 'natural charm' as he calls it, you aren't sure, but your strange request for no contact never seemed to put him off his friendship with you
• Charles has his own ways of bonding with you, no hugs or handshakes required. Instead of nudges used to alert the other of a particularly funny joke, he'd just send you flashes in your mind regarding the situation. The end result was always the same; with the both of you grinning at each other while the rest of the room was left to make their own assumptions as to what you were thinking about
• "Seriously, it's creepy when they do that. They could be talking about anything." Alex whispered to Hank one day as you and Charles stood across the room from each other, not caring if the Professor was able to hear him or not. The only sign that you were even talking was the occasional huff of laughter Charles would let out as you scrunched your nose up in a toothy grin
• "Oh, I wouldn't say that." Hanks eyes gleam from behind his glasses as he watches the two of his friends. "Charles tells me most of it is just really bad jokes, if you want to know."
• As if on cue, the spell between you and Charles breaks as you delve into a laughing fit, and Alex and Hank can't help but shake their heads at each other in slight amusement as they watch
• He does an excellent job at speaking for you when you can't quite explain to new people why you are the way you are—as long as you'll let him, of course
• Maybe it's because he's been in your head, or just because he knows you so well that he can say exactly what you're thinking before you even know it. And sometimes, he doesn't even need to explain much at all. One carefully worded sentence backed with that steady tone of his is enough to make even the most ignorant of people understand
• "No handshakes for them, please." Charles had found himself saying that sentence more times than he could count since getting to know you, but he never found himself growing tired of it; even when you eventually found the awkward courage to start speaking on your behalf. Especially when you started speaking on your behalf
• Charles is a very patient man, and he couldn't be happier than to wait for you to open up to the world like you had done for him, even if it does take a while
𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐤 𝐋𝐞𝐡𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫 [𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐨]
• I'm going to be completely honest with you. At first, Erik finds your habit of avoiding touch annoying
• It's a weakness in his eyes that you have every opportunity to avoid acquiring. He doesn't see the point in being afraid of something so miniscule
• When he first meets you, he's probably an asshole about it. Erik doesn't go out of his way to touch you on purpose, but he won't take extra steps to stop himself from doing so. If the back of his hand brushes against yours as he storms away from another one of Charles' annoying lectures? Then so be it. Who cares if you pull back from him like you've been burned, clutching your skin tightly as you glare at his retreating form
• It will take a while for Erik to begin to understand you, much like it does for him to understand a lot of things about the rest of the world. I won't say that he ever officially apologizes for his past behavior toward you, but he definitely drops hints that he does regret it
• "Never thought I'd live to hear the Erik Lehnsherr himself say sorry for something he did. Next you'll be telling me you've always liked humans." Your eyes were wide in faux surprise as you stared at him one day, looking like you had just heard the best news of your life. It was a good thing you and Erik had a much better relationship than when you had first met, otherwise he wouldn't have had a second thought about shutting you up
• "All I said was that maybe I maybe could have been a bit nicer to you." He sighed, already regretting this entire interaction
• "Oh, you're not getting off that easy." You were already scrambling for the door, completely missing the way Erik rolled his eyes and flicked his hand up in preparation. "Charles! Charles, you'll never believe what just happened—"
• He ended up using your belt buckle to drag you across the room before you could embarrass him any further
• Once he's warmed up to you, I'd like to think that he's definitely used the fact that lots of people wear rings and bracelets to his advantage to stop people from touching you at bars or in crowds
• He swears up and down he doesn't get attached to anyone, and especially not someone that associates with the X-Men of all groups, but you've definitely have had a few people look at their hands around you in confusion while he's around. Almost as if someone else had a say in their actions
• "Big softie."
• "You do know I could kill you if I wanted to."
• "I'd like to retract my last statement, please and thank you."
𝐋𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭 [𝐖𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞]
• Logan doesn't give two shits about your strange request
• Not in the way that he ignores it like Erik, but rather in the way that he literally doesn't give a fuck if you want to be touched or not. He wasn't planning on touching you anyways, so it's not like he really has to think about it
• If anything, Logan is one of the only people who can even begin to understand your mindset. He's never been too fond of people just outright touching him without a warning first, especially if they were strangers, but that's what you get after being experimented on for years
• He'll have to get to both know and like you before he starts taking your words more seriously. Otherwise, all you're getting from him is a gruff noise of disinterest and a roll of his shoulders as he blows past you
• Or ar least that's what he'd like you to think
• "Watch it, pal." You barely had time to process what that noise was next to your ear before Logan was standing dangerously close to you. You were about to ask him to back away before you saw his hand up, and when you looked at his hand you saw it was closed around a strangers wrist; the likes of which was outreached in your direction and just about to make contact with you
• Logans rough tone and sharp glare had sent the fellow stumbling away with an apology, and left you standing there with a bewildered look on your face. It only grew larger when he refused to look at you afterward
• "Don't let it get to your head." Was all he huffed out in your general direction before walking off to continue the mission the both of you were on. Through the com's in your ears, you could hear the rest of the team asking you what was going on, and with a slow upward tick of your lip you finally answered
• "I think Wolverine here has gone a bit soft on my end guys."
• You were given the cold shoulder for the rest of the week by Logan, and every time he glared at you, you couldn't help but try to hold in laughter
• "See, this is why I'm not nice."
• "No no no I take it all back, I swear. You're so mean. You're the meanest, toughest person here, never done a good deed in your life—"
• "Shut the fuck up."
𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮 [𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞]
• She doesn't understand why you'd choose to have people not touch you
• For Marie, not being able to hug someone— to even so much as hold hands with the people she loved —is a curse. She wasn't such a fool to think that her mutation itself was the curse, Charles had managed to drill that thought out of her head a long while ago, but the side-effect that came with it would forever haunt her
• So when she found out that you actively took strides to make sure no one ever touched you (if possible), she was in disbelief
• "I just don't get it." She'd confessed to you out of the blue once. "How can you stand it? If I were you—"
• "But you're not." You cut her off and shrugged, voice devoid of any meanness or annoyance at the turn of conversation. "I get it. I must seem crazy to you. I'd imagine that you'd jump at the chance to be able to touch someone again. But that just isn't me. I can't stand the feeling of being touched. Makes me feel gross; inside and out. I don't ask you to understand it, just that you respect it. Yeah?"
• She had nodded slowly at you, not expecting the sudden explanation. It wasn't unwelcome, however. Quite the contrary. She'd rather understand you than stew in quiet confusion
• From that moment on, even if Marie thinks you're a little crazy in the head, she does her best to make sure that both herself and others take your wishes to heart
• You have to admit, it's nice having her look out for you. And it helps that she's one of the most powerful mutants on campus; one sideways look from her, and she could send anyone in the opposite direction from you if you need
𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐱𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐟𝐟 [𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫]
• You're constantly having to remind him that you don't like people touching you
• It's not Peter's fault he forgets sometime. His brain is always going going going from one thing to the next. Thinking about the next mission, the quickest way to get from one end of the country to the other, how to beat that stupid kid at the arcade that keeps leaving him and his high scores in the dust—
• Okay so maybe he could do a bit of a better job of trying to listen
• "Peter, reach for the back of my neck again and I'm gonna break both of your legs." You didn't even have to turn around to know that he was itching to latch onto your neck, most likely to take you on a surprise trip a few states over. Or maybe just to the mall. He was spontaneous like that
• When you did manage to look up from your notebook and back at him, you found that Peter was already a good few feet away from you, holding up his hands with a deceivingly innocent smile; but respecting your wishes all the same
• "You sure you're not a secret nun or something?" He poked fun at the way you refused to let anyone touch you, even going as far to squint at you in an unconvinced manner. You ignored his clear misunderstanding of nuns to snort in amusement
• "No."
• "Could have fooled me, babe."
• He sped away before you had the chance to throw your papers at his head
• Peter's probably the kind of guy to constantly tease you to your face, but the moment you're not in sight and someone's ragging on you, he'll shut them down. He's done it many times to stray students in the hallways of the school who talk just a little too loud about your personal boundaries
• "I'm just saying, man, they're a little weird. The other day, I asked to borrow a pencil, and they threw it at me. While standing less than a foot away. It's just strange—"
• Less than a second later, the student was sent falling to the floor over his shoelaces, which were suspiciously tied together in contrast to moments ago when they had been placed in neat little bows
• The only sign that this hadn't been a freak accident was the telltale burst of wind that sped by the student and their friend, a faint laugh following in its wake
#xmen#xmen x reader#xmen x you#xmen x y/n#charles xavier#charles xavier x reader#charles xavier x you#charles xavier x y/n#erik lehnsherr x reader#erik lehnsherr x you#erik lehnsherr x y/n#logan howlett#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine x y/n#rogue#rogue x reader#rogue x you#rogue x y/n#peter maximoff#quicksilver#peter maximoff x reader#peter maximoff x you#peter maximoff x y/n#magneto#professor x#erik lehnsherr#x reader#headcanons
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shadow entity!ghost part: one | two | three
cw: angry!ghost, umm he hurts u )-:, but he feels bad so it's okay, a bit shorter than other parts
the mystery surrounding ghost was driving you insane. living with a primordial entity of unfathomable horrors was already a mindfuck but now you realized it could just...erase people from existence.
no one had asked about phillip, no one had shown up to seek you out since you were the last one to see him before he vanished. you even wandered into the bar he said he frequented -- and he seemed well known in. and...nothing. no one even brought up how he went home with you and never returned. no one asked about him.
it was unnerving. had ghost somehow pulled all memory of this one human out of the world along with its physical form? where did phillip even go? all you remember was being surrounded by the shadow and how hard it was to breathe -- and the horrible, inhuman scream before silence.
it had already confirmed that it wasn't a ghost. so what was it?
"ghost?" you called into the house as you returned from the bar, "can you come out so we can talk?"
as you stepped into the living room, you took a glance at the scorch mark on the floor before your attention was diverted to it -- a shadowy manifestation across from you.
it didn't speak, simply stood there. usually you would divert your eyes from its face because something about it unsettled you, but this time you stared right at it. shapes formed and faded before your eyes, making you wonder if you were really seeing them in the first place. eyes, sometimes two sometimes dozens. a vague, fading silhouette of a skull face. you wonder if it intentionally let you see these images or if it just was.
"i-i want to know..." you swallow thickly around the nervous lump in your throat, "is phillip dead?"
it was quiet for a moment, "not quite."
"what's that mean? where is he?" you prod, furrowing your brows as you stare at it, hoping that it can understand your pleading.
"why do you care?"
"b-because..." you sputtered, licking your dry lips, "i just...want to know."
"he's in the pits," it finally supplies, sounding almost bored.
"...of hell?" you sputter, "so you're a demon?"
"your hell is a bastardization of the pits," it explains, "where i come from is not hell. it's worse, darker. that's where i put the human."
"can you...can you bring him back..?" you whisper.
ghost's shadow flickers and it falls silent for a moment before speaking again, "i could. but you don't want that."
you can't help but think you'll regret asking but you do anyway, "...why?"
"he's not the same anymore," it explains, "it's much kinder to simply leave him in the pits."
you're not sure how to take that. it doesn't answer any of your questions. what exactly are the pits? what happens in them? what is happening to phillip down there?
"ghost..." you take a small step back and you swear you see it's head cock to the side curiously, "what are you?"
"you can consider me a demon if you wish," it responded, taking a step forward to follow you.
your heart skips a beat, "but you're not."
"no," it answers with ease.
"so tell me what you are," you demand, growing tired of these mind games it's playing with you.
"i don't think your human mind can comprehend just what i am," it says.
"try me," you challenge, already mentally slapping yourself.
"no," it responds.
your temper flares, "just tell me, damn you! what the hell are you?"
suddenly, the shadow grows in size -- as do your eyes. you watch as it takes up more space in the room, that overpowering weight on your body making you wince. it makes the room feel so heavy, makes your bones ache to the marrow.
you're not sure how you know -- despite the fact it's not saying anything; you know you've made it very angry. your eyes lock onto his shadowy form, making out the horrible, unsettling images of eyeballs inside the darkness that flicker in and out of your vision.
nausea settles like a pit in your stomach and you double over, dropping to your hands and your knees to keep yourself from throwing up. your head throbs and aches, a ringing in your ears only makes the pain worse. it feels like your eyes are going to pop out of their sockets from the overwhelming pressure growing inside your skull.
"s-stop..." you manage to choke out before you slump against the floor.
then, all at once it's gone. you gasp for air once it finally feels like there's nothing coiling around your lungs and tears trickle down your cheeks. you're not sure if you're trembling from the pain or from the fear you just experienced.
you can't bring yourself to uncurl yourself from the ball you've found yourself in on the floor.
you're acutely aware that ghost hasn't left -- in fact, you can hear it's heavy footsteps on the creaky wooden floor as it approaches you. it kneels down, disturbing the air around you with the movement.
you feel a strange weight on your head and it takes your foggy mind a moment to realize that it's touching you. as if it had reached a hand out and was tenderly petting your head, consoling you.
a silent apology before it vanishes completely.
when you finally uncurl and look around, you see yet another strange, scorch mark on the ground where it had stood.
you realize instantly that those scorch marks are a manifestation of it's anger. pure, unbridled rage that leaves a physical mark on the ground where it stands.
you swallow thickly and close your eyes again, deciding that standing is much too hard for now.
do not repost to third party sites. reblogs okay!
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despite literally coming here yourself and sleeping in his bed, you wouldn't cuddle with him. It really wasn't your thing.
"why won't you turn around y/n..?" Izu whines, poking at your back some more. You on your side, away from him sealed your eyes shut and tired to fall asleep but you couldn't. Not with his whining ass.
"I don't feel like cuddling." You grumble, shifting away some more. Izuku's poking eventually ceased now that you moved away from him. There was a pause.. the peaceful silence lingered around, you were in content for about 4.5 seconds.
"but I miss you." He muttered, sounding like a sad little puppy. He was truly being sincere and sorrowful right behind you, even though you couldnt see it physically.. his voice gave it away. Your eyes dilate, you quickly turn over and look at him.
"you do?" You whisper. Izu nods slowly, his dejected eyes fixing on yours. You stare into them feeling as if you are being hypnotized, his pretty shade of green melancholy eyes have this strange effect on you that you despise.
but adore at the same time.. of course, you never admitted that to him.
you sigh, scooting closer toward the teen. His once sad eyes were now stunned and grateful as you inched towards him.
after a pleasant scoff, you grin into his warm neck, where you nuzzled your face into it.
"you're such a baby you know.."His cheeks flutter and his hearts skips a beat. He's growing nervous but he ached for your touch, wanting it all day. In the classroom, during training, outside of the classroom.
he just wanted you, and now he has you after endless waiting.. You're here finally.
he's quick to embrace you, hold you tight into his cozy chest. He knew you weren't big on affection, rarely giving him hugs or kisses out in public even barely when alone.
he respects your wishes and doesn't force you to do anything if you don't want to, keeping his space with you and suppressing his urges to just squeeze you into his strong arms, inviting or more so forcing you into a big hug.
at least you're getting accustomed to hand holding now.. it's a start, right? Well it definitely is for him. And now cuddling possibly?? Has he won the jackpot or something?
whatever the case, you were finally growing closer to him even if it was insults you threw at him to shield away your flustered state. You did love him but you weren't going to say it.
at least not yet.
you blush into the crook of his neck when he held you tightly, gosh, he is so clingy.
but you secretly enjoy it. His chin rests ontop of your head after he kisses your forehead with such sweet love.
you hold back a giddy smile but form one anyway.
damn this boy. what has he done to you?
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i saw u were taking reqs for jacob elordi x reader so what about like cute, giggly morning sex if that makes sense
i’m so down bad for this man 🙏
Yessss ofcccc! Also making this husband and dad Jacob bc I need him so bad too :((( tysm lovey ~ also I didn’t do sex just him eating u out (sex w Jacob soon heheh)
⊹₊。ꕤ˚₊⊹ ⊹₊。ꕤ˚₊⊹ ⊹₊。ꕤ˚₊⊹ ⊹₊。ꕤ˚₊⊹ ⊹₊。ꕤ˚₊⊹ ⊹₊。ꕤ˚₊⊹ ⊹₊。
You woke up to the feeling of budding hands caress your cheek, the softness of his hands were enough to make you doze back into your interrupted sleep. Gentle motions sent waves of comfort down your spine.
Up and down, they graciously glided until you resorted to opening your tired eyes. the sight laid before you left you irresistibly smiling while squinting as the sunlight poured its beam to light up your bedroom. Creating an abundance of bright hues.
Your husband, Jacob, pierced his eyes at you with an enchanting grin that washed over his face; highlighting the esscense of his beauty that reminded you of one of the many reasons he charmed his way into your heart.
Jacob’s hand slowly retracted away from you as you shifted your limp body into a somewhat sitting position, letting your arched back rest on the bed headboard behind you.
“Good morning,” he whispered with radiant eyes.
You let out an amused sigh, your hands rubbing the remainder of sleep that was left inside. “Mmm, what time is it?”
He glanced at the tiny clock on the night side table, “half past seven.”
You groaned in realization that you could get away with thirty more minutes of rest before enduring your daily routine. Shuffling back down to let your head rest on your silk pillow, you admitted, “it’s too early, love.”
He paused and blinked slowly for a slight minute, moving closer to allow his hand to comb through your undone hair.
“Just missed you…” he almost sounded sorry as his tone was full of remorse for not being able to spend intimate moments like this with you all the time.
You knew what he was referring to.
Jacob’s schedule with acting had been extremely busy the past few months. Leaving him to fly out for specific casting calls or meeting with certain producers who admired his talented work. You were proud of him and wanted nothing more for him to continue succeeding in the field of film, but every time he had a last minute flight to catch, your heart ached with a familiar homesick feeling.
One that wouldn’t exit your soul until you got to reunite with your husband. Having the privilege of feeling his warmth and love in physical form was enchanting.
However, you were never alone.
Your little daughter, Lilly, kept you occupied and was the best form of sweet company. The spitting image of her father with her large curious brown eyes and silky chestnut locks, she was always there to remind you of him.
The two of you would lounge around your secluded house, watching movies, making crafts to gift for daddy when he would return home and FaceTiming him whenever he had the rare moment of free time.
And of course, there was Jacob’s beloved angel of a dog, Layla, who was an adorable companion that would cuddle beside you anytime you’d relax on the sofa and played long rounds of fetch with Lily in your large backyard. It was obvious she missed her loving owner just as much as you did.
“We missed you too,” he smiled at your courteous words, leaning to kiss your soft lips, letting his tongue swirl with yours. Loving the taste of your sweet mouth no matter what time of the day.
With no hesitation, his touch starved hands glided down to your tank top, gently tugging the straps down to reveal your chest.
“Jacob!” You exclaimed, followed by a quiet laugh, completely aware your daughter was most likely still sleeping in the room beside yours.
His hands cupped perfectly around your boobs, your nipples growing hard at the smooth contact that was the palms of his hands.
“Come on, baby,” his thick brows raised with his slick charm, “you think all those pictures you sent me while I was away is better than having the real thing right in front of me?
You blushed with hot, red cheeks as he brought up all the little things you’d do for him while the distance between the two of you left him aching for you.
Desperate times called for desperate measures.
“Oh hush you,” you playfully rolled your eyes, feeling him squeeze a tad bit tighter at your breasts.
“Mmm,” he hummed moving down to latch his mouth on one of your exposed boobs. Your nails clutching deep into his hair as his head laid on your chest. You dug deeper as his tongue circled in brisk motions. Leaving Jacob to pause for a swift moment.
“Ow,” he exaggerated in a comical tone. You ruffled his shaggy hair down to his forehead as he licked his lips. “I wasn’t done.”
“My bad,” you winked, letting a tiny yawn escape you.
“Well,” he purred, moving his body down to your stomach as he moved the sheets to go gently over his head. “I’ll just continue down here.”
“Babe,” you pleaded with pouty eyes. “I don’t wanna make too much noise.”
Jacob was just too irresistible.
He perpetually longed for your body laid in front of him. He constantly missed you at all times you were forcefully apart. Having the long awaited freedom of getting to spend a relaxing morning with you was more than a luxury to him.
“Don’t worry,” he assured you, stroking your thigh with his nimble fingertips, “our little love sleeps like an angel. She won’t hear us.”
You pretended to stall, placing a finger on your soft lips for effect. You knew the answer though and you didn’t have to think twice. You needed this—you craved this.
Giving him the look was the green light for the hungry man. He inched himself further down until he was hidden beneath the sheets and placed perfectly in between your bent thighs. The amount of small stubble he had neglected to shave gently tickled you and having no urge to fight off the feeling it provided, you couldn’t hold back a laugh.
“When’s the last time you shaved?” You snickered with amusement, hearing him groan as you lifted the sheets only to not receive a response from him, but his face diving deep into your exposed parts.
He was smooth with his actions, he got straight to business and you could barely remember him taking off your panties.
A build up of heat and tingly vibrations inside of you began to stir your sex drive into motion. Having Jacob’s tongue wither it’s way into your partially wet lips was a luxurious feeling, he knew how to let your tension go by the ways of his mouth.
Your clit was caressed and it felt loving. It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t sloppy. It was perfect because he did it with love.
“Taste so good, baby,” you heard a vacant mumble in between his swirls, he always made sure to praise you. After all, you were his main source of inspiration and the very thing that kept him striving for more.
You were his wife; the woman he vowed to spend the rest of his happy life with. You were the woman who gave him the best gift of all; his daughter. With everything he ever did to your body that pleasured you to no end, he always wanted to reassure you that you were more than a heavenly angel to him.
“Keep going, honey,” you tried your best to surpass a moan from exiting you, but failed miserably. Jacob’s mouth playfully tugged around the surface of your wet inner parts, something he knew you adored and always left you with insane build up.
Warm waves flowed down to your inner core, passion from Jacob’s mouth worked its magic into always providing you with a quick release.
You breathed heavily as his tongue surfaced deep into you, feeling so stimulated it reminded you of the old days when the two of you had a free house and could be as obnoxious as you pleased.
He made you feel warm. The pressure of his suctioning lips gave you sanctuary bliss.
You craved nothing more than the simple action of cuming on his face. Watching him suck all of your juices as you’d pour out your ecstasy was more rewarding than anything else in the heat of the moment.
As you could feel yourself letting go into a haze of vibrations there was a small, frail knock at the door.
“Shit,” you heard rumble from under the sheets as you slid up with the most energy you could gather while Jacob eagerly covered you back up with your undergarments.
You slid your tank top back to cover your chest, seeing Jacob mentally cursing at the interrupted moment, but smiling because he knew who was at the door waiting to be allowed entry.
Regaining composure and trying to wipe any of the remaining stamina left in the two of you, Jacob called out, “come in.”
Your daughter slowly opened the door, looking energetic as ever as she appeared to be ready to start the day. Her movement turned quick as her face lit up like a Christmas tree upon seeing her Father. She was thrilled that he was home and raced to his opened arms as she jumped on the bed.
“Daddy, I’m so glad you’re back,” she cried out with glee as Jacob smothered her with his large arms. She still seemed so tiny in comparison to him.
“Of course, angel,” he planted a kiss on her head, smooching loudly as she nuzzled deep into his bearing chest.
She looked up at him with doe eyes, revealing how much she missed her dad, “Layla and I missed you so so much.” It made him chuckle at how much she grew to adore that dog. She was nurturing just like her beautiful mother.
Your heart melted at the scene and Jacob grinned at you with a beaming smile before he turned to Lilly again. “Oh sweetheart, I can promise you daddy missed you more.”
“And what about me?” You poked the young girl, who in response, leaped onto your lap as you kissed her cheek.
“Good morning, my love,” you showered her with affection as she flung her arms around your neck. Slowly cradling her in a soothing rhythm before she left your embrace to sit in front of you and Jacob.
“Sweetie,” Jacob gestured her attention back to him as he began to slowly dress himself, throwing on a loose throwover you placed on the laundry basket next to his side of the bed. “Why don’t you go downstairs and feed Layla and then mummy and I will be right with you, okay?”
She nodded, the loose braids she slept in swayed with her motion. “Yes daddy,” she crawled off the bed as she happily ran out of your room and into the long corridors outside.
Jacob chuckled and shook his head, finding himself so relieved to be back home with his girls. He faced you as you slowly stretched your way out of bed and shuffled yourself to where he was slowly fixing himself up. You wrapped your arms around his waist as your head laid on his back. He shifted your arms around to where you could view his ecstatic face.
“Don’t worry,” he looked down at your twinkling eyes that never stopped sparkling, “I’m not finished with you yet, angel.”
You bit your lip, “I’m looking forward to it.”
What a beautiful morning it was turning out to be at the Elordi household.
#jacob elordi#jacob elordi x reader#jacob elordi x y/n#jacob elordi fanfic#jacob elordi fanfiction#saltburn#felix catton#felix catton x you#felix catton x y/n#felix catton x reader#saltburn 2023#jacob elordi smut#nate jacobs x reader
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Make you mine ୨୧
Sub!reader x Matt Sturniolo
Contains: Smut, swearing, basically porn, A lot of praise, pet names (baby, good girl), unprotected sex, big dick!matt, p in v, overstimulation, dirty talk, face cum. - Semi-proof read! I think that’s all?
Synopsis: You went to your best friend’s house earlier that morning, you’re currently spending the night at Matt’s house and told him you’d be back later. You ended up staying late as you lost Track of time. You come home late very exhausted, to see Matt still awake at his computer and he asks you to make it up to him…
authors note: yall this one is freaky so grab your rose toy and some Pepsi and enjoy the ride 🤭
You walk into Matt’s room exhausted excepting him to be asleep, you walk into the room to see him on his computer. ‘Hey baby’ i say putting down my bag by the side of his bed. He turns around in his seat, a small smile forming as he sees me coming in ‘Hey...’he responds, his voice a bit husky from being up late, ‘Where have you been all night?’ I chuckled at his voice, he sounded sleepy and I could tell.
‘Madi’s house’ I said taking off my boots. ‘Madi's house, huh?’ he nods, his eyes lingering on me for a moment before looking back at his computer screen. ‘You look tired...’ he comments, his tone a bit softer now. ‘Did you guys have a lot of fun?’ I smile at him softly. ‘yeah but i missed u’ I walk up to him taking out my earrings.
His expression softens, and he closes his laptop, giving me his full attention. ‘You missed me, huh?’ He asks, trying to suppress a smile. ‘Even though you were out with your friends?’ I nod sitting on his lap as he sits on the gaming chair. He wraps his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. ‘I missed you too, baby.’ He sighs contently, holding me close. ‘You know, I was starting to think you forgot about me.’
‘I could never..’ I smile staring into his eyes. He lifts his head up, looking into my eyes with a small smile. ‘Never, huh?’ He asks, his voice low and soothing. ‘Good, because I couldn't bear the thought of you forgetting about me.’ He leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. ‘Matt i know you hate going but would you pretty please come with me to Tara’s party tomorrow’ I smile hoping he gives in.
He raises an eyebrow, trying not to let his discomfort show too obviously ‘babe a party..’ He shifts slightly, still keeping me on his lap ‘You know how I feel about those things my love.’ I start thinking of ways to convince him… What most people don’t know is Matt loves anything physical in his relationships so it’s normal for us to be hugging holding hands …. Fucking a lot so I knew the perfect way to get him to go.
‘I’ll give you a blow job if you go’ I smile. his eyes widen slightly, a mix of surprise and temptation crossing his face ‘Well...’ he chuckles softly ‘When you put it that way...’ he runs a hand through my hair ‘What time do we have to leave?’ a playful smirk forms on his lips. ‘7 a clock at night I’m pretty sure’ I think about the text me and Tara shared earlier. 7 at night..." he sighs dramatically but there's a glint in his eyes ‘Alright, I'll do it... but only because you promised...’ he pulls me closer, his hands sliding down to rest on my hips ‘You better keep your word, gorgeous.’
I laugh, ‘I’m going’ I smile getting on my knees. He watches as you get on my knees, his smirk growing wider. ‘Mmm, I'm counting on it...’ he spreads his legs slightly, giving me better access as he leans back in the chair. ‘Come on then, baby...’ I undo his belt slowly I smirk pulling his pants and boxers down ‘still big..’ His ego swells slightly as i check out his size, his hands finding their way into my hair. ‘You like that?’ He asks, his voice dropping an octave, knowing the answer already. ‘You always act so surprised...’
‘because you’re just so big baby..’ I smile staring at his dick. ‘you always say that...’ He chuckles softly, his manhood twitching with anticipation as i stare at it. ‘You make it sound like it's too much...’ He spreads his legs wider, giving me better access. ‘Too much?? Never.’ He smiled ‘Put that pretty mouth to good use, baby.’ I smile “anything for you Matthew..” I smirk kitty licking his tip. ‘Fuck..." He hisses through gritted teeth as i lick his tip, his hips bucking slightly. ‘You're such a good girl, aren't you?’ He praises, his voice thick with desire. ‘So eager to please your man...’
I nod licking the side of his cock. ‘Fuck... that feels amazing...’ His breathing becomes heavier as he watches me work. ‘Show me how much you missed me... show me how good you can be...’ He guides my head down slightly, helping me take more of him. ‘That's it, baby... just like that...’ I hallow my cheeks sucking him, He pants, his hips lifting off the chair as i hollow your cheeks around him. ‘You take it so much better than anyone else...’ He moans, his fingers tightening in your hair, I pull off spitting on his cock then deep throating him again.
‘Fuck yes!’ He groans deeply as you spit and take him deep again ‘You're so fucking filthy... I love it...’ His hips thrust forward, meeting my rhythm ‘Keep going baby, just like that...’ He pants heavily, his body tense with pleasure. I gagged taking as much as I could handle. His eyes roll back in his head, voice breaking as he feels me deepthroat him completely ‘How... how do you even...’ He pants heavily, fingers shaking in my hair ‘That's so fucking hot...’ He moans deeply. I moan against him the slide up sucking his tip.
He lets out a guttural growl at the sensation, hips bucking slightly ‘You're killing me... fuck, why are you so perfect...’ His fingers trace along your jawline as i suck his tip ‘Such a gorgeous mouth... made for this...’ I moan continuing my pace. ‘Oh god, that sound...’ His voice is thick with lust ‘Can't get enough of it...’ His free hand reaches down, stroking your hair and cheek gently ‘Look up at me, baby...’ His voice has that irresistible soft tone.
I pull off smiling “I want you to cum on my face..”He stares at you, his eyes dark with lust as he takes in the sight of your face covered in saliva ‘Fuck, you're something else...’ He grabs his dick, stroking it quickly as he watches you ‘I'm gonna cum all over your pretty face baby...’ I close my eyes and stick my tongue out. He moans loudly, his hand moving faster as he watches me prepare for his load. He unleashes a thick, hot load of cum all over my face, coating my skin, hair, and tongue in his seed ‘fuck baby..’ I take it off my eyes and open them. He stares at me, taking in the sight of his cum dripping down my face ‘Damn, you look even prettier like this...’ He gently runs his fingers through the sticky strands of hair on my face ‘My little messy angel...’
I wipe it off my face with my fingers and lick it off. He watches me lick his cum off my fingers, his dick already starting to twitch again ‘Fuck, you're insatiable... I think I'm addicted to you’ He pulls me up and crushes his lips against mines, tasting himself on my tongue. He breaks the kiss, panting ‘Need you... now...’ He roughly grabs me and pushes me up against the nearest wall, pressing his body against mine ‘Want to fuck you so hard...’ His hands roam over my body possessively ‘You ready for me?’ I immediately take my hoodie off and pants off. He looks me up and down, his eyes dark with lust ‘Fuck, you're gorgeous...’ He quickly pulls his shirt off and tosses it aside, revealing his toned chest and abs ‘Gonna fuck you so hard, baby...’
I nod biting my lip jumping into his arms and tongue kissing him, He catches me easily, one hand grasping my ass while the other tangles in my hair as he devours my mouth in a fierce kiss. His hardening cock presses against my stomach. He growls against my lips and carries you over to the bed, throwing me down onto it. ‘Spread those legs for me baby...’ I nod spreading them. He climbs onto the bed between your legs, positioning himself at your entrance .
‘You're so wet...’ He teases my opening with the head of his cock ‘Ready for me to stretch that tight little pussy?’ I nod, as he did not hold back. A wicked grin spreads across his face and he slams his hips forward, burying himself deep inside me in one thrust. ‘Like that, baby?’ He begins to pound into me mercilessly, his hips moving at a brutal pace ‘Gonna fuck you until you can't walk straight..’ I moan softly. ‘’Matt’ He leans down, sucking at my neck as he continues to hammer into me.
‘So tight and wet... Fuck, you feel amazing...’ He grabs my legs and throws them over his shoulders, changing the angle and going even deeper ‘Take it all, baby...’ my body slightly shakes. ‘mmph- Matt’ I moan, His pace quickens at the sound of his name on my lips. ‘Yeah, baby? Say my name again... while I'm fucking that sweet pussy...’ He leans down to whisper in my ear ‘You're close aren't you? I can feel your walls squeezing me...’ I couldn’t even think straight I was so cock drunk.
‘so big matt..’ i moan gripping the sheets. A deep growl escapes his throat at the way i stretch around him ‘Tell me how much you can take, baby... How much of my big cock can your little pussy handle?’ He reaches between us and finds my clit, rubbing it in time with his thrusts. ‘c-can’t take it’ I cried.
He chuckles and pulls out almost completely, then slams back in, hitting my cervix ‘Too much huh? You can't handle all this dick...’ He does it again, pounding his hips against yours ‘Look at me, eyes on me...’ I try to keep them open as I moan uncontrollably. ‘Good girl... Now tell me who's fucking that tight little pussy?’ His abs contract with each powerful thrust, his fingers still working my clit
‘Tell me...’ He grinds his hips in a way that makes me gasp ‘That's my girl, fucking losing it...’ I grip his shoulders tightly. ‘mmh it’s yours Matt all yours..’ His pace quickens and he pulls out almost completely ‘Who does this belong to? Who's the only one allowed to fill this pretty little hole up?’ ‘you Matt only you’ I moan out. ‘Fuck yeah... Only me...’ His voice gets deeper, more primal. ‘"That's right, baby... This pussy is mine’ my eyes roll back as I moan uncontrollably.
His pace is brutal, his hips snapping back and forth as he fills me up completely ‘Say I’m Matt's girl...’ ‘I’m Matt’s girl..’ I moan out. ‘That's it... You're my fucking girl...’ He pulls out and flips me over onto my hands and knees ‘Now watch the mirror and watch me fill you up again...’ He lines himself up with my entrance and slams back in, his balls slapping against my clit. I grip the sheets crying out in pleasure.
‘Look at yourself... See how well you take my cock?’ He reaches around to play with my clit as he fucks me from behind ‘So goddamn beautiful... My girl, my pussy, my everything.’ I choked out a groan. ‘don’t stop don’t stop..’ the only thing I can repeat. ‘You like that, baby? Like watching me fuck you senseless?’ He leans down to kiss my shoulder, his hips never stopping their brutal pace ‘You're so close, I can feel it...’ ‘Matt please fuck ima cum’
‘Cum for me, baby... Show me who you belong to...’ He slams into me one last time and holds himself deep inside of me as he comes, his hot seed filling you up completely ‘Fuck...’ my body goes limp shaking, He collapses on top of me. His heavy breathing the only sound in the room for a moment, he eventually rolls off and pulls me onto his chest His arms wrapped around me. ‘told you id make you mine...’ i laughed softly.
‘I love you…’ I muttered out. ‘I love you too pretty girl’ He kisses the top of my head, his heart still racing from the intense sexual intimacy we just had "Now rest. We'll order some food and watch a movie later." He holds me close, feeling completely content and satisfied. ‘Perfect day.’ He said softly….
A/n: I hope you enjoyed sorry I took a break I got stuff I’m working on for you guys! And for my Chris girls keep an eye out ….
(COMMENT IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED TO MY TAG LIST!)
#Spotify#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#nicolas sturniolo#christopher sturniolo
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had a hard day in work so a member will j make u feel good with their mouth and hands mmmm
18+ / mdi
them helping their s/o relax after work
content: smut, established relationship, afab reader, oral (f receiving), mentions of sex, mentions of m receiving oral, etc.
wc: 690
a/n: thank u for requesting<33
masterlist
seungcheol -
you don't even have to ask. he knows the telltale signs of your tiredness and has an entire routine ready for the days when you come home a little extra tired. he'll bathe you, wine and dine you, and end the day with some head for you to fall asleep to.
jeonghan -
even as he attempts to relax you, he'll still tease you. he knows that the buildup will make it all even better, but he also just enjoys getting you to whine at him and pull at his hair with half-hearted demands for more.
joshua -
so cocky and annoying about it lol he'll make you have to beg for it, teasing you until the very last minute before going at you as if you were his last minute. and even then, he'll tease you by slowing down his touches every so often, asking you about your stressful day while between your legs.
jun -
at some point, he's learned to just let you take whatever you want on these extra stressful days. gets you sitting on his face and having your way with him, kind of broken by the way you whine at his nose touching you just right. would need some assistance after the fact to rid himself of his own arousal.
soonyoung -
he's like pavlov's dogs, he's just become conditioned to getting on his knees and ready to spread your legs when you come home in a certain mood. it's like a treat to him, knowing he can have you and that he's also helping you wind down after a stressful day. win win.
wonwoo -
will be between your legs, asking you questions about your day and expecting you to answer as he licks and licks and licks. hums along, keeping up with the conversation despite being otherwise occupied. feels this is the best form of unwinding for you, as it's both mental and physical.
jihoon -
ur tired? he's equally, if not more, exhausted. but it's okay, he can power through his tiredness to take care of the both of you! he'd get a bath ready and innocently help you wash the day away. naturally, he'd eventually grow distracted by the sight of your pretty, wet, nude body and become consumed by you, offering himself up for your pleasure to help you relax further.
seokmin -
it's become kind of a routine thing for him to let you ride his face any time you're stressed. you get to a point where you don't even have to communicate it verbally anymore. you just have to kiss him a certain type of way and he's already ushering you up his body.
mingyu -
this man is a much so he'll use any excuse possible to get his face between your legs for as long as he can. it's therapeutic for him too, so it's kind of self-serving to him in a way. will likely hump the bed until he comes as he eats you out.
minghao -
believes sexual acts to be incredibly therapeutic for couples, so giving you head when you're tired and stressed was probably his idea. didn't even think of it in a horny way but more in a 'i want to take care of you' type of way. happy to relax you and get you to sleep like this.
seungkwan -
he becomes pussydrunk so quickly he literally forgets why he was eating you out in the first place. forgets immediately that he was also tired to begin with, automatically relaxing as he eats you out. perfect bonding activity, he thinks.
vernon -
he'll be a little confused the first few times you ask him for this, but he'll never complain about it!! cannot help getting impossibly hard after he's done, always nudging your cunt with his nose to silently ask if he can fuck you to sleep.
chan -
it's like he's on a competition to impress you every time he's between your legs. he tries to outdo himself every time, sometimes even stressing you out as he eats at you because of how intense he is. needs you to reel him back by controlling his pace every so often.
#seventeen x reader#seventeen fanfic#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen imagine#seventeen oneshot#seventeen smut#svt smut#svt reactions#seventeen reactions
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Tormented Spirit | 2
Part 1 2 3
"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."
Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 4k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, smut (piv, loss of virginity, fingering, semi-public sex, Daemon talking you through it), DD:DNE, panic/anxiety attacks, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, mentions/depictions of death/suicidal ideation/murder, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.
A/N: i am surprised I got as many comments as I did on chapter 1 🥺🫶 it's not that I think my writing is bad... Well... Idk it felt aimless when I started so I am grateful for the positive reinforcement. 👉👈 I am once again asking for more pls comment n reblog I would love u forever if u did | cross posted on ao3
Tagging: @arabellasleopardcoat
Daemon heads to your chambers, eager to shake you awake and ruin your morning once more. When he arrives to the room, he stops in his tracks, disappointed to see you were risen. That is, until he realizes the state you were in.
You roused long before the sun had and could not find sleep no matter how badly you searched. You decided to draw yourself a warm bath in hopes of finding sleep in the tub; you only find more restlessness and simply accept your fate.
You hear Daemon's entrance and turn to him from the vanity you were wallowing. You were half dressed. Your corset was undone and you had given up on braiding the sides of your head. You smile weakly at him, "good morrow."
Nothing about your tired, sullen eyes agreed with that, and it irritates him to know that you're one of those people. Pretenders.
"Well, finish up then," Daemon furrows his brows, "get dressed. We have yet to accomplish our task."
You mimic his expression, brushing your dark hair back, "task?"
He rolls his eyes, "I do not believe yesterday counts as an introduction."
Upon realizing he meant the introduction to Caraxes, your body tenses. You look sick. You stand to try and convince him out of it, but Daemon reaches you before you can get on your feet. He places a hand on your shoulder, keeping you in place. Your heart thunders when he brushes your hair to one shoulder. He secures your dress from behind, and your breath grows heavy as you watch him from the mirror.
"It is not so bad, riding a dragon," the prince says to plant a false sense of trust in you, "who knows? You might enjoy it."
There is an unnatural warmth that spills across your form when your husband then completes your braids. He weaves in a manner far gentler than Gwayne ever has. It makes your lips part.
He brings you to your feet. Daemon takes in your expression, lips curling slightly, "there you are, wife."
Your brows knit.
He knew his artificial gentleness has you off-guard. There is no better moment to have you do his bidding than now.
One might be surprised to know that Caraxes actually enjoyed having you on his back, as did Daemon, not because they suddenly liked you— gods no, but because the sound of your screams were oh-so satisfying.
You could do little else but release cries of terror as you clung to your husband from behind. Daemon made it a point to do flips and all sorts of unnecessarily moves whilst flying, hoping your hold would falter. The time you spent in the air felt like eternity. It seemed your husband was set on touring the entire 7 realms.
You never thought you would be so ever happy to see the pit. The pit could not say the same about you however. You spill your guts out to the floor exactly like the first time you were here.
Daemon makes a face. He turns to the keepers and orders them to clean your mess up, lest it get on Caraxes' claw.
Woe is you who is forced to repeat the exact thing the next morning. You could not even plead your case, for your throat was sore. The sound of your screams this time were not as entertaining to Daemon, as your voice is hoarse. At some point, the terror is too great, you cannot scream. Because of this, he cuts the flight short in boredom, excited instead at the promise of watching you suffer through another retch. But, oh, by the gods, were you an inconveniencing woman.
Instead of remaining consistent, you just had to make a show and faint into him, did you?
He could not care less for you, which is why he chucks you off into the arms of a dragon keeper, but the damned old man could no longer carry such a weight, and so he was begrudgingly forced to throw you over his shoulder and bring you to a maester himself.
In truth, he'd all forgotten about his wife fainting until the next morning, when he came to the maester's quarters to ask for something to soothe his hammering head from his heavy drinking the night before. He was, in fact, offended, when the maester insinuated that he had come to check up on his bride.
Before he could give the greying maester a piece of his mind, he hears a terrible voice barking from the ward. Its grating timbre made it clear to Daemon that Lord Hand Cunttower was off on a yapping session again.
He walks deeper into the room. Weeping sounds become audible.
"—no, you do not understand," Otto snaps, hunched over at the side of your bed.
Ah, twas you who was being terrorized.
You dare not turn to your father, for you knew your throat would only tighten more that it already has. You force yourself to take deep breaths, but it's easier said than done. You remain still on the bed you laid on.
"You must sire as many children as your body can take, or you will die," the man says.
But you were dying anyway.
"The process will not be pleasant."
Nothing is pleasant.
"It will hurt-"
Everything hurts.
"-but it is a better fate than-"
"Enough!" you snap, glaring at him with angry, red eyes. You repeat, though your voice is weaker, "enough, enough, eno-"
Otto gravely speaks your name. Your body recognized the danger, but having realized upon waking up to the face of a maester, it mattered little where or who it came from, you were destined to hurt- to die.
"Do not fall complacent be-"
"You are no longer my lord," you quip. Sweat forms on your nape. This is the first time you've ever interrupted your father.
He is gobsmacked. He is bewildered. His back straightens, "what?"
You feel yourself descend into heavy fraught. Your saliva tries to choke you.
"What," he presses, "did you say, girl?"
"You are my father," your voice falters, "but not my lord."
Otto's face warps.
Your breath grows shorter and shorter, "my liege lord is my-" pant "-husband, and what he-" pant "-desires, I will-" pant "-do."
Daemon's ears and brows perk at your misplaced loyalty. Part of him wants to laugh out loud and make himself known, but then he sees, even from where he stood, how it got Otto twisted. He chuckles to himself instead.
Your father enunciates as though he means to stab you with them, "you stupid fucking whore."
You crumble like chalk. You fall into another round of body arresting tremors. Your chest is tight and you screw your eyes painfully shut. It becomes apparent to Daemon, as it would anyone who'd witness, where your condition sourced. Otto grabs your shoulders, "you know nothing of-" but then recoils.
Daemon shoves him away, glaring as he says, "unhand her."
Otto manages to balance himself, but he looks as though the veins on his temples were about to pop. He clenches his jaw, "I am speaking to my daughter."
"You mean at her," his silver hair slips over his shoulder as he turns to you, "she does not look like she can hold conversation."
"This is personal matter," Otto steps forward.
"Mmm," Daemon turns back to him, "I do say, I am glad to have interrupted," he shifts on his leg, linking his fingers together, "a dutiful husband should know all personal matters of his wife. Don't you agree?"
Though you were still wrestling with yourself, you heard every word. You knew if you did not interject, they will fight each other for your carcass. You feel lightheaded, but you force yourself to open your eyes and speak.
Of course, the only sound you manage to make is a strangled and pained one.
Otto averts his attention to you, and tries to come to your side.
Daemon steps in front of him and tilts his head back, "oh... I would adore it if you give me a reason to kill you."
You choke out, "Daemon."
Your father stiffens as he looks past the said man to inspect you, missing the way said man smirks. Otto turns back to Daemon, feeling bile spread in his mouth as the prince says, "see. She does not want you."
Otto's lips curl and his hands ball into fists.
Your husband waves a hand, "go away. You're clearly upsetting her."
Otto does the most to remain calm, "she is my da-"
"She is my wife," Daemon snaps, imposing upon him.
You gulp with difficulty as you catch the way your father's jaw clenches. You force yourself to sit up and open your mouth to speak, but everyone's attention is averted to the Kingsguard that walks into the room.
Daemon's forehead curls at the Cargyll knight, "my prince. Lord Hand."
"Which one are you?" asks the prince.
"Arryk, my prince."
"State your business, Arryk."
"I-"
"I requested a ward for the princess," Lord Hand answers instead.
Daemon makes a face at him and chuckles dryly under his breath.
Arryk looks between the two again then slowly continues, "I and my brother have been awarded the honor of serving ward to the Princess of Dragonstone. I take first watch today."
Daemon chuckles again, "a bit late, aren't you?"
The white cloak stiffens then bows, "I was just given word this hour."
"Hmm. Well, Arryk," he motions, "why don't you go escort the Lord Hand out of the room before someone dies."
He stiffens again, but turns to the said man nonetheless. He does not question it and merely does what was instructed.
Or at least tries to.
"I do not trust you with my daughter's well-being," Otto steps forward, pointing a finger to the ground, "you are the very reason she is in that bed."
Daemon gasps dramatically. At this point, you finally had enough wits about you to speak, "please-" but your voice is easily drowned out however.
"Do you not remember thanking my brother for the, what was it," the prince pretends to think, "joyous union? Or would you like to watch me stake my claim upon he—"
Otto's face twists in horror and repulsion, but that is not why Daemon's words are cut short. It is because of the cold, clammy, trembling hand that takes his own that he looks down. He watches as you sigh out, "leave us, father."
The said man turns to you in grave offence. In your fear, you do not notice the betrayal that is mixed with it. His anger flares and he scoffs. He gives you one last look, and you knew exactly it was just that. This would be last time he would ever look upon you. When he storms away, you feel it in your chest: this is the last time you will ever call him father. You were forsaken, truly forsaken.
Otto is seen out by Arryk.
Your hand slips from Daemon's, as you no longer had the strength. You muster all your remaining energy to reach the drink propped on your bedside table. It was a futile attempt though, as instead of grasping it, you knock it over, which only leads you into another fit of tears.
Daemon curses and shakes his foot that's gotten soaked. He did mean to snap at you for it, but you were already clearly suffering. Your breathing is short and it seemed like you were mumbling something.
He hunches over in an attempt to hear you, "what?"
It takes a myriad of repetitions for him to realize you were apologizing.
His face contorts, "gods," what pathetic creature had he been given to?
Daemon's upper lip curls and he can no longer bear the sound of your whining any further. He calls for the maester, asking for another cup of water because you had knocked over your own. Just as the maester goes off to get you another drink, he remembers he came here for his own affliction because his head begins to hammer again. He rubs his temples and sits on the vacant bed besides yours.
"Here, my prince," the maester says upon arrival, "milk of the poppy enough for the both of you."
Daemon squints as the man places a tray on your bedside table. Daemon is handed a cup first, but does not drink it until after he watches you be helped to drink your own fill. After, the maester promptly leaves with a curt nod. The drink does not take effect on you until after Daemon finishes his own
Your voice shakes, "t-thank you."
Daemon puts his cup down.
"You did not have to come," you say softly.
"Do not flatter yourself," he scoffs, "I did not come for you. I came for my headache."
"Yet it remains," you turn to him, face tight and gleaming from all the tears you've shed, "you did not have to come."
He stares at you for a moment. You looked so frail, so devoid of hope. Truly, death would be mercy to you at this point.
Just then, ser Arryk returns. He finally sees you and gives you a deep bow, "princess."
Being addressed as such makes you feel sad... and lonely.
"I am ser Arryk Cargyll. I will be your ward, along with my twin brother, Erryk, who you will meet after my shift." The kingsguard straightens up, "I will do all that I can to ensure your health does not falter and that you are always seen to."
You think of your own twin as you take in the man's features. The idea that your father purposefully chose twin brothers as your ward made you feel sad and sick, but it was hardly Arryk's fault Otto liked mocking you, so you smile at him, "I have a twin."
The man nods, offering you a smile far more genuine than yours, "aye. Ser Gwayne Hightower. He is deft with the short sword."
You turn to your hands, recalling just a few days ago when you had watched him train. Your lips curl upwards, "though, not as good as I."
Daemon pulls his head back, face contorting. He is taken aback when Arryk's sniggers. The latter nods, "perhaps you will show me your tricks, my lady."
There is a twinkle in your eye as you turn back to him, "perhaps."
Daemon raises a brow at the interaction and decides to stand, "come," he reaches a hand to you, "some fresh air would do you good."
Fresh air? Your jaw slacks and you turn to Daemon with a fallen expression. Be as it was, you were no fool. You did not believe your husband had your best interest in mind, and yet, it was not like you had much of a choice. Against yourself, you to take his hand.
He pulls you up and Arryk comes to your side to assist you. He helps you to your feet, hand on your arm and shoulder.
Daemon is annoyed by his fussing. "Yes. Very good, Cargyll. I can manage to bring her to the dragon pit myself."
You close your eyes and sigh. Just as your dreaded.
"Dragon pit?" Arryk repeats.
"Yes. She needs fresh air." The prince narrows his eyes, "do you contest me?"
Arryk releases you and shakes his head, "I would not."
"Good," he motions with nod, "out of the way then."
You see, after being scorched by the fire of your maker— your father, the sight of Caraxes emerging from the depths did not strike as much fear into you as it did before. In fact, the promise of malice from the beast felt... cathartic, and for once, you welcomed Daemon's insistence on being brought to its maw.
You stumbled against Caraxes' scaly cheek. Having done nothing but lay in the maester's chambers, your hair was not tied or braided in any way. As the wind blew, it tickled against the dragon's face. Caraxes did not seem to enjoy the sensation, and so he growled and snapped his teeth.
Daemon was quick to chastise his mount, and for that, he did not realize your lack of self-preservation. Oh, but Caraxes did; he even growled again, only to be met once more by your unflinching demeanor.
Daemon would only realize your change after taking flight and landing on a beach. Upon dismounting, Caraxes takes it upon himself to screech as you hover. The prince doesn't know who is more bewildered, him or his dragon, when you screech back.
Your neck veins pop and spit comes out of your mouth at the intensity of it all. A harsh wind blows your hair and your skirt. You heave after releasing such a harsh noise.
In truth, perhaps Caraxes is more perturbed as, unlike Daemon's who presses forward, the beast pulls back and shakes his head. He bleats as he watches his rider grab your arm.
The prince means to berate you for your insanity, but then, gods, you rather conveniently succumb to another arrest to your heart and lungs. He does not know why he catches you when your legs give in but he knows exactly why he suggests: "get in the water."
You look up at him, your glassy eyes meeting his violet ones.
He lets you crumble to the ground and bends down to undo your dress, "a swim would do you wonders."
"N-no- you will regret-" you sputter.
But Daemon ignores you, not that it took much effort, for you were incoherent soon enough.
He pulls you out of your dress until you're in nothing but your slip. You sob, and he hushes you, assuring he will be by your side. He removes his tunic. Soon, he is dragging you down deeper and deeper, and you are choking and spitting saltwater.
Daemon decides to simply release you and wait until your body floats lifeless. With how you were gasping, it would not take long. He turns his head when his face is splashed by your flailing arms. When he looks back, the water is calm and your body is nowhere to be seen.
... well, that was rather quick.
He waits for a moment, watching bubbles float up. After a while, he purses his lips and decides to go back ashore. He should have done this sooner.
He freezes when you emerge in front of him, pushing your brown hair off your face. He is perturbed by the serenity across your features; it was as though you were reborn.
You sigh, "I told you you would regret it."
Daemon blankly stares at you.
"There is a great river in Oldtown," you wade around, "the water there is not nearly as pleasant or warm as this, but still... swimming was one of the only ways I could calm myself."
His jaw clenches. He does not even try to hide his disappointment.
You lick your lips at it and turn to Caraxes, who was happily soaking in the sun from the sandy shore, "take heart. Your dragon might entertain himself by eating me yet," you turn to him, "or perhaps my Lord Hand will kill me himself."
His face twists, "what?"
You shake your head and roll your eyes.
He pulls his head back, offended and confused by your sudden nerve.
You allow your body to float up in the water, "you need not pretend. I know you long to kill me."
Daemon is insulted by your brashness. He grabs your floating hip and pushes you down until you're once again face to face. Not a semblance of fear is on your features. It only angers him further.
He snaps, "I could have your tongue for that."
He cannot deny the way his stomach rolls when you place your hands by the base of his neck. The complete change in your temperament puts him on edge. Have you been playing him all along?
"Would it not be simpler to have my head?" you speak plainly, as though you were genuinely curious of his response.
His nostrils flare.
Before he can act, you are swimming off. You emerge from the water, dripping wet. Your clothing is sheer and hugs every part of your body, leaving nothing to the imagination. He could not help but look, but then he was sorely insulted all over when you pet Caraxes head and he lets you.
It was a twisted hallucination. He is suddenly reminded of the milk of the poppy he'd drank; you've probably poisoned him and planned all of this with your cunt father like the conniving whore you really were.
You do not hear him emerge, but only know he did because he is upon you. He forces you around through a severe squeeze on your arms, "what is your game, Hightower cunt?!"
Your body seizes, but you do not succumb to the thundering of your heart, as you had just been relaxed.
He shakes you, making you gasp, "SPEAK!"
"There is no game!" you whimper.
He chuckles dryly, shaking you harshly once more "perhaps it should be said that need I no assistance from my dragon to kill you."
A shiver runs down your spine, "please-"
"Then tell me th-"
"-just do it."
The sound of Caraxes huffing brings Daemon back to reality. And yet it takes you speaking, "just kill me," for him to realize you meant exactly what he thought.
He stills where you descend into further torment. He knows then that it is true. There was no plot, or at least not one where this creature of agony could ever oversee. You were calmed by the water, but not cured. Very truly, he thinks again death would be mercy, convenient for him as well. Yet, in his nature, Daemon does opposite of what he is told and pries his hands off. He mutters under his breath, "ao mūdas run," you terrible thing.
You sob, as if you understood him.
You shed tears unlike the others he's witnessed; there is no panic or fear, only pain.
"Surely you agree it is better than living this way."
The clarity of your voice takes him aback. He turns away, uncomfortable of your sudden agency.
"I have been this way since I can remember," you confess, "and they've all have counted my days for just as long."
"Why must I bloody my hands for you?" he squints, "if you despise living so much, do it yourself."
Your laugh is haunting. You shake your head and wipe your face, "I am not as brave as you. I could not even kill the fishes Gwayne caught for me, though I ate them."
Daemon is unmoved, twice so at the mention of your brother.
"And Gwayne..." you sigh, "he would blame himself." You turn to your feet, warmed by the sand beneath it, "I would not do that to him." You shake your head again, "but again, take heart," you smile, "it will happen soon enough."
His forehead curls.
"I can feel it in my gut," you rub your belly, "it is putrid and festering... whatever it is."
He tilts his head, "then do me a favor and wallow in silence—" he walks off, sparing one last glance, "and try scheming with your cunt father somewhere you will not be caught."
You manically laugh and rip at your hair, "he is my illness, if it is not plain to you."
He stops and turns back to you.
"I am the way that I am because I-" you poke your chest, "am he, had he been born a woman." You rub your sternum, "he loathes me because he is I. I am his hair, his nose, his temper, his... weakness, only amplified because I did not inherit his cock.
"When I pray..." you sniffle, "sometimes I think the gods keep me alive for I am his reckoning— that I must torment him for all the years he has tormented others... tormented me."
Daemon watches the salt from your eyes join the salt on your slip. He stares at your pert nipples then watches you chew your lower lip. He licks his own, "did you mean what you told him?"
You watch as he inches closer, "what?"
"That he is no longer your liege lord," he reaches for your arm, "that I am."
"I-"
Daemon pushes the shoulder of your slip dress down.
Your hand darts to his chest, "i-it is the truth."
He hums and tilts his head. You gasp when he kisses your neck. He licks the saltwater off your skin, enjoying the sound you make when his teeth graze you, "very well then."
Goosebumps form when he pulls your skirt up your thighs.
"It would be beneath a prince to withhold aid for such a tormented spirit."
You do not speak for soon his mouth is claiming yours. It is not as horrid as you imagined it would be. You did not think someone who's shown nothing but aggression could behold you so tenderly. You shiver when he continues to rid you of your sopping clothes. When you break away for air, you manage to mutter, "someone c-could see."
Daemon's expression is changed as stares at you and pushes you to the ground. You gasp as you find yourself atop the garbs he already managed to remove. He undoes his breeches, "who? My dragon?"
You do not know if he means Caraxes.
"You are my wife," he drops to his knees, grabbing yours, "the sin lies with the looker," he pushes your legs apart, "not us."
You bite your lips, feeling the the need to repel him, but decide against it. You simply close your eyes and dig your fingers into the sand.
His loins burn at the sound of your sigh. He sinks into you and relishes your submission. He wraps your legs around him and rocks his hips into yours. You mewl and dig into his back. He bites your lobe before whispering, "you belong to me."
You scratch your nails up his back as his rocking hips send bolts of pleasure in your body.
"Say it."
"I-I-" you heave, "belong to you."
He squeezes your thighs, "you are to do what I so desire."
Your gasp softly when he grabs your jaw, making you turn to him.
"-especially if it is against your father, yes?"
You gulp, unable to speak. You simply nod.
Daemon's eyes become hooded. He releases your jaw, claiming your thigh again, "good."
You both remain this way, kissing and rubbing, but then you begin to grow impatient. You bring your mouth to his to catch his attention but do not kiss him. He is taken aback by your unintentional tease and digs his fingers into your flesh. This is why you whimper as you speak, "you- can... enter."
He is broken from his trance, "what?"
"I," you scratch his skin gently, as if to encourage him, "know you are ready. You do not have to hold back. I am accustomed to pain."
He knits his brows, then tilts his head, "how could a virgin know such things?"
He watches bashfulness claim you. You shake your head, "I read it."
"Did your book not tell you it need not be painful?"
"I-" you let out a loud noise when you feel his fingers touch your womanhood, "Daemon-"
He purrs at the sound of his name, "I will show you how good it can feel so that you can tell your father all about it."
The horrifying thought does not even register as he makes you feel things you did not know possible. You begin to shiver and whine, but it is entirely opposite to what your body is accustomed to. Your breath begins to shorten and you instinctively begin to panic, but Daemon's voice keeps you grounded.
"Breathe," he licks your pulse, "it feels good, does it not? Breathe and think of how good I'm making you feel."
You are entirely subservient to him, to his baritone, to his fingers, to his hips. There is nothing but sand and Daemon. You whine when you feel a hard intrusion. The sensation is foreign, and it causes your belly to tense.
He kisses the line that forms between your brows, "relax, my wife. Now is not the time for pain," he hooks his hands behind your knees, "it's a time for pleasure."
It's all a blurry haze after this. Daemon moves into you in a way that makes you wonder how this could ever hurt. Every thrust sends ripples of bliss down your spine. Every hit draws out the lewdest of sounds from your throat. You understand then why they call it love making; you love every moment of it. Your bliss is heightened when he touches something inside you, and again, and again-
For once in your life, as your breath grows heavy, you do not feel like you're about to die.
Daemon alternates tempos, but ultimately resigns to fast and hard. He does not cease until your rigid body goes limp beneath him. The pressure in your stomach breaks into a million burning pieces, and just as it becomes all too much, he pulls out, propping himself up on one arm. You gasp at the heat the spills on your thigh as he strokes himself. Soon, his arm gives out and he collapses beside you.
You behold the mess of red and white between your legs, but find no shame, only arousal, which you did not expect. You turn to your husband, watching his chest heave, his temples sweat, and his tongue lick his lips.
He's... he's beautiful.
#daemon fanfic#daemon targaryen x reader#daemon targaryen#daemon x reader#daemon targaryen fanfic#daemon smut#daemon targaryen smut#daemon fluff#daemon targaryen fluff#house of the dragon fanfic#house of the dragon smut#hotd fanfic#hotd smut#daemon angst#daemon targaryen angst#daemon#daemon targeryan#house of the dragon
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Temptation | [A.H]
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader CW: Sensual, reader is a little slutty, it's implied that Hotch is horny, lap dance, strip tease, physical touch, mentions of alcohol. WC: 0.7k
I'm not even gonna hide the fact that I was listening to Christmas music while writing this.
Hotch’s arrival home was marked by the heavy clunk of his briefcase hitting the floor and the tired sigh that followed. The day had been brutal, the latest case tearing the team down psychologically. As he trudged into the living room, his shoulders slumped under the weight of his heavy thoughts.
You noticed his weariness immediately, your heart aching at the sight of his tired form. Without a word, you moved swiftly, guiding him to his favorite armchair with a gentle but firm hand. “Just sit here,” you said softly, urging him to relax.
Hotch sank into the chair gratefully, his eyes closing as he leaned back. You didn’t need to ask him how his day was; it was written all over his face. You quickly moved to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of whiskey. As you carried the drink back to him, you could see him trying to shake off the day's stress.
“Here,” you said, handing him the glass. “Drink this. I’ll be right back.”
Without waiting for a response, you retreated to the bedroom. In the privacy of the room, you selected a set of matching lingerie - his favorite, in a deep, luscious black. But you didn’t want it to be obvious just yet. You threw on a robe over the lingerie and took a moment to apply a light touch of makeup, making sure you looked effortlessly alluring. Your idea of the outfit was designed to tease, and you wanted to make sure it had exactly that effect on him.
Once you were satisfied with your appearance, you moved to the living room where Hotch was still seated, sipping his drink. You approached him with a confidence you felt bubbling inside and set a soft and sensual playlist on the speaker. The gentle tunes of music began to fill the room, setting a perfect backdrop for what you had planned.
Hotch looked up, his tired eyes lighting up with curiosity as he heard the music. You gave him a playful smile and began to slowly remove your robe, letting it fall gracefully to the floor. The matching black lingerie underneath shimmered slightly in the low light, accentuating the curves of your body.
You moved with purpose, allowing the music to guide your steps. Each motion was deliberate, a blend of grace and sensuality. You started with a slow, teasing dance, your movements carefully calculated to attract and captivate. The rhythm of the music matched your heartbeat, and you let yourself get lost in the rhythm, your eyes locked onto Hotch’s.
Hotch’s gaze was intense, a mix of admiration and desire that only deepened as you continued. He shifted in his chair, loosening the knot of his tie with one hand while the other held the glass of whiskey, his knuckles turning white with the sheer force. His eyes traced your every movement, appreciating the way you moved, the way you seemed to embody the melody.
You could see the strain in his shoulders beginning to ease, replaced by a growing sense of arousal. As you inched closer, you let your movements become more intimate, brushing lightly against him, teasing him with the promise of more. The room was filled with the soft rustle of fabric and the deep, rhythmic beat of the music.
When you felt the moment was right, you decided to move your dance even closer. You guided him to put his drink down on the side table next to his chair, ensuring he was fully focused on you. With a slow, seductive smile, you positioned yourself directly in front of him, allowing him to feel the heat of your body against his.
The music took on a more intense rhythm as you began to perform, grinding down on him, your movements purposeful. You moved effortlessly, your hips swaying in time with the beat, brushing against his thighs. The closeness made your breath hitch, the tension between you becoming more noticeable.
Hotch’s hands were soon tracing the curves of your hips, his touch both gentle and possessive. He guided you subtly, urging you to move in ways that accentuated your body in irresistible ways. His breath was hot against your skin, and you could feel the raw intensity of his desire as you danced for him.
As you completed your dance, Hotch’s hands lingered on your hips, his gaze never leaving you. He pulled you closer, his voice a low growl as he spoke directly into your ear. “You drive me crazy, woman, you know that?” His words were a promise of the desire that simmered beneath his surface.
#aaron hotchner#criminal minds#aaron hotchner x reader#hotch#hotch thoughts#criminal minds x reader#hotchner#x reader#hotch x you#smut#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotchner fic#ssa aaron hotchner#aaron hotch#aaron#aaron hotchner one shot#thomas gibson#aaron hotch x you#hotch x reader#hotch x y/n#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner x you#hotchner x reader#hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#fem!reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminalminds#cm
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I don't think enough of you are seeing the potential in letting Astarion drink from your wrist??
(Brief warning: this got a little more sensual than I'd intended? I think I am possessed.)
The way you could still sit as close as you want, plastered to his side even– one leg thrown over his lap while the other is outstretched behind him. It would take a little bit of maneuvering to get the angle just right, but once you do it, it quickly becomes one of your favorite ways to feed him.
You'd have a better view from this angle as well. Would be able to see the glint of bared fangs just before they sink deep into the tender skin of your wrist with a soft pop. To watch the shiver that rolls through him as the taste of you finally meets his prodding tongue– his throat working as he takes that first, careful swallow.
You trace up the curve of his spine as base instinct takes over. His body forms a shield as he hunches, pale digits digging into your outstretched arm as if you'd ever have the heart to take his meal away from him before he's anything less than sated. Happy.
Your fingers comb through the sweet little, silver curls at the nape of his neck, nails scrubbing at his scalp as a form of encouragement so gentle he practically purrs.
Gods, the noises he makes when he's enjoying himself. You can't help but squirm in anticipation when his breathing begins to pick up. Each quick inhale becomes choked off with a little moan of satisfaction– or a whine so high and strained, as if he's hurting in the best possible way. It's as if you taste so good that he doesn't know what to do with himself. His legs kick up a bit. The heels of his boots drag the ground before he settles back down. He jerks away and then towards you once more. Practically writhes in ecstasy. You have to turn your head away just to stare at something far off in the distance. A pathetic attempt to focus on anything else before you lose your mind.
Eventually, you feel your offered arm begin to grow colder. A slight tingle at the tips of your fingers slowly creeps its way up and prompts you to wiggle in an effort to lessen any discomfort. The movement pulls him out of his trance just a bit, and you can feel it.
The length of pause between each swallow starts to become longer. Every pull of your blood becomes a little more shallow, a little less desperate as he braces himself for the moment you say you've had enough.
Admittedly, you always wait a bit too long than is comfortable. It's really hard to ask him to stop when you can physically feel the satisfaction radiating off of him in waves, but you know you have to say something the second you feel that all too familiar floaty sensation begin to sneak up on you.
The moment your temple hits his shoulder, he's pulling away with a sharp gasp of unneeded air, a sad, little whimper escaping his open mouth before he has the chance to muffle it. It's only now that his eyes flutter open. A more vibrant crimson now that he's properly fed, all hazy and soft with a wonder that you'll never grow tired of seeing. He turns to meet your half-lidded gaze from where you're slouched against him.
It'd be so easy for him to slip, to give into the urge to clamp down and drink and consume until you've got nothing left to offer. Especially when you're hanging off of him this way, eyes filled with warm adoration and body so willing to let him take and take and take.
Oh, how he must be careful, now.
The vampire's eyes get a certain headiness that you know all too well, locked onto your own as he allows himself one last taste. You can only watch as he chases a rivulet of blood all the way down the length of your forearm, petal soft lips creating artful smears of crimson with each sloppy press, only to be cleaned away a moment later by the gentle swipe of his tongue.
Your thighs clench automatically around his waist in response, and if he notices, he thankfully doesn't tease you for it. Yet.
After so many feedings, he's really got the hang of biting you in a way that doesn't do any lasting damage. So, it isn't very long before the marks his teeth have left behind no longer weep openly. The familiar, dull throbbing that resonates from the twin punctures is soothed by the soft press of his mouth. Then, the cheeky bastard makes it worse by giving a harsh, cheek-hollowing suck.
It's your turn to whimper.
He pulls away with such a smug smirk. It'd have your eyes rolling if you had any sort of brain function left.
His fingers are now warm as they knead against the numb skin of your drained arm, wiggling it about for you, and bending it the elbow a few times in an effort to get the blood flowing. It's a small act of kindness that you find ever so endearing, and you thank him with a tiny smooch to the very corner of his jaw.
He thanks you right back for the nice meal, with a loving stroke of his knuckles against the side of your face. Gives you a kiss so eager that you're left in shock.
You can taste the copper you've left on his tongue as it swirls against your own, and can't stop yourself from deepening the kiss a moment later. You swallow down his responding groan like he swallowed down all those mouthfuls of your blood. Eager. Just a little desperate. Happy.
Anyway, what was the point of this post again?
#bg3#astarion ancunin#baldurs gate 3#astarion#astarion x tav#astarion x reader#bg3 tav#astarion headcanons#astarion drabble#astarion fic
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GENSHIN + "their favourite position"
prompt: their favourite position(s) during sex characters: wriothesley, tartaglia, neuvillette, alhaitham x fem!reader
warnings: smut (mdni 🔞), unprotected sex w: size kink (only a little), breeding kink (i think), creampie t: marking, masturbation, choking, aftercare n: i'm soft for this man, affection kink, a lot of physical touch a: degrading names, ass apreciation, overstimulation, creampie
notes: this is just a bunch of random horny thoughts put together uuuh,,, they are wuite short, i'm sorry, i'll write longer stuff once i'm free from school ♡ (NOT PROOF-READ!!)
― ♡⸝⸝ WRIOTHESLEY + doggy, prone boning
He just loved taking you from behind, having the pleasure of admiring and gripping at your ass while pounding into you. He adored seeing you shake and squirm beneath him, your body trying to escape him as overwhelming sensations invaded it.
He had complete contorl over your body, his hands on your hips preventing you from getting away from him, pulling your body agaisnt his, sending your hips crashing into each other every time, making you see stars.
Seeing you tug the sheets, knuckles turning white, nails digging into the fabric, always made him chuckle. Your head would either be thrown back to let out loud moans and sometimes screams or be burried in the matress, small moans and whimpers being muffled agaisnt it. You looked so powerless and adorable, your smaller frame engufled by his bigger one, it's probably why he loved doing you like this.
The only downside was being unable to properly see your face, but it was easily solvable. He would occasionally grab fistfuls of your hair and pull it, sending your head falling backwards. With his chest pressed agaisnt your back, his lips would come crashing into yours, taking you into breathtaking and bruising kisses.
Your arms would grow tired, your body feeling weak from the waves of pleasure that would make it combust, before he was even close to finishing. Chest pressed agaisnt the matress, your upper body laying flat, butt propped up in the air for Wriothesley to abuse, the fun would continue this way.
His hand would come down on your ass, smacking it, leaving a red burning spot on the otherwise soft skin.
What he loved most though, was teasing you in this position. He would sometimes slow down, to your dismay, and lean back, watching how his dick would get swallowed up by your cunt, sliding in and out with ease thanks to your juices. He would pull almost all the way out, only leaving the tip of his head in, and then fuck your entrance with his head. Small, slow and yet powerful thursts. He loved hearing you whimper and beg, torn bewteen enjoying the current sensation or wanting him to continue destroying you.
"You like that, don't ya?"
Needless to say, he would toy with you until he was satisfied with your state; his pride was to always leave you a moaning mess, unable to form words, mind clouded from the sweet intoxicating bliss and limbs uselless. Once he deemed that your condition was humiliating enough, he would focus on himself, hips ramming into yours, fucking you into the matress. Feeling your walls clamping down on his dick, he would coax you into another climax along with him, sweet praises falling from his lips accompanied by frantic circles drawn on your clit with his fingers.
"Come for me, baby. Come with me." He would whisper into your ear, body pressing agaisnt yours, hugging you tightly with one arm while his other hand stayed between your legs. Moans and groans filling the room, uniting in a sweet cacophony as you reached your highs.
His hips stilled, his cock burried deep inside you. Filling you was his ultimate prize, being able to see his seed dripping from your cunt after pulling out exciting him even after release.
― ♡⸝⸝ TARTAGLIA + sideways
Chest agaisnt your back, one hand gripping your thigh, keeping your leg up, the other snaking around your neck, grabbing hold of it, keeping you exactly where and how he wanted. He loved physical contact, he loved being close to you. Your warm skin agaisnt his own making him want to become one with you.
His face burried into your shoulder, taking in your sweet odour, leaving him in a drunk-like state. He wanted you, all of you. He desired to feel all of your body, to leave his mark all over you, to make you all his. It's in moments like these where he had full control over you and your body that he felt most powerful, the thrill of battle not comparing to the mix of emotions he felt while he was intimate with you.
His nails digging into the tender flesh of your thighs as he thrust into you, curses flying from his lips and into your neck. His hand on your neck would tighten, leaving you breathless as he ground into you, pace slowing down, procuring pure intoxicating bliss for both of you.
The sounds that spilled fom your mouth as his head touched the deepest corners of your cunt sent him into a frenzy. He fucked you religiously, praying to hear more of that alluring harmony that could send him over the edge in an instant if he allowed it.
To stifle his own moans and growls, he would kiss your neck and shouleder, leaving trails of kisses and purple marks, his teeth imprinted onto your skin. You were his in that moment and forever, and it was no problem if the whole world knew it.
"Play with yourself for me, princess." He would ask you, wanting to feel you clench aorund him, to reach the pinnacle of pleasure together.
Watching you play with yourself shakily, every touch and rub of your nub making your whole body squirm and your walls squeeze around him, drove him crazy right into Celestia.
"Gimme all you got, girlie."
As you both reached your highs, your tight cunt milking him of his seed, he hugged you tightly, forehread pressed agaisnt your shoulder, continuing to thurst into you but slower, giving you every last drop of him, filling you with his love and desire.
Soft kisses would be placed on the fresh bruises, soothing the ache. He wouldn't let go of you until you had caught your breath, soothing you by caressing your aching boding and playing with your hair.
Of all his victories, you were his favourite.
― ♡⸝⸝ NEUVILLETTE + missionary
Sex with Neuvillette was mostly gentle, love-making to be exact. He took well care of you and your body, always making sure you were enjoying yourself; not that he needed to do, everything he did to your body was simply out of this world.
Spreading your thighs apart and lining himself with your entrance, he would kiss you, a kiss so passionate and so lustful it had some sort of hold on you. As your tongues engaged in a slow dance, he pushed inside slowly, stretching you out gently as to not inflict any pain upon you. As you flicnhed and whimpered beneath him, he would caress your cheek and press his forehead agaisnt yours, comforting you as you took his length in.
"You're doing good, sweetheart, as good as you feel."
Eyes locked, one little nod from you was all he needed to continue the deed. He held his body up with his forearm, his hand holding your head, fingers tangled in your hair. His other hand would hold your hip, grabbing and squeezing your soft skin. His touch was warm, filled with love, making both your heart and core flutter with every physical contact.
As he thrust into you, slow and steady, he trapped your lips in yet another langourous kiss. Your lips would never be apart, either him or you would pull the other into a kiss. It was basicly a need for you two to kiss while enjoying each other's bodies, engulfing in each other's love.
Your hands would be wrapped around his body or neck, hugging him, pulling him towards you, needing to feel his warmth. You would place kisses on his shoulders and cheeks, loving him, adoring him, encouraging him onwards.
Intimacy was very important to you, you needed to feel each other, your bodies needed to connect, to become one. You would always be grabbing the other's body in any way possible, desperately trying to give them all your love. You desired each other, evident by how you adored each other's bodies with butterfly kisses, marks and lustful looks.
Skin slapping agaisnt skin, the sound of his dick pushing into your wet hole,your bodies burning, ready to combust together; everything was guiding you, pushing you towards release.
As his mouvements become sloppier, his groans and moans growing louder along with yours, you took his face into your hands and pulled him into a kiss, your lips crashing together with force, forcing your breathes out of you. Such a feverous kiss was enough to send you both spiraling into bliss. As he felt his dick throb inside of you, he pulled out, grinding agaisnt your sensitive folds and clit, his cum spurting out onto your body. You swallowed each other's moans down, not letting go until everything was over.
Pulling you into a hug, you would lay there together, catching your breathes. You would caress his hair and face, admiring the flushed yet relaxed expression on his face. He would place kisses on your forehead, rubbing your back comfortingly.
"Je t'aime, ma chérie."
― ♡⸝⸝ ALHAITHAM + reverse cowgirl, sitting
With his new title of Acting Grand Sage, Alhaitham was always very busy, sitting on his desk, papers and scripts in hand. Thanks to his awful habit of overworking himself, you had foud yourself sitting on his lap on multiple occasions at late hours, including ones where your needy body screamed for attention. One thing led to another, and you'd discover the pleasure of riding him while he sat at his desk.
Hands resting on the desk before you, helping you keep your balance as you lifted your butt from his body only for it to come wiggling back down, his dick being entirely taken up into your pussy. Your feet on the ground, your body help up by the tips of your toes as you bounced on his dick. It was quite the exercise, that combined with the pleasure made your legs get shaky rapidly.
He would try to stay focused on his work as you satisfied yourself, used him for your pleasure, but he could never keep up the uninterested act and would end up replacing the papers in his hands with your hips, meddling the soft skin as you brought the both of you to heaven.
He loved sitting back and just enjoy you, guiding you with his hands up and down, head falling back as pleased sighs and moans escaped his throat. His eyes could intenly watch your ass bounce, the way it moved when your hips crashed down onto his. It mesmerized him; it's beauty, it's shape, it's softness, he loved everything about it and couldn't keep his hands off of it.
As much as he loved having you ride him, it was tiresome for your body, and you'd find yourself losing rythm, sometimes even stopping dead.
"Is that all you got?"
His fingers would snake aorund your body, coming around to rub circles into your clit, sending shockwaves throught all of your body as if he was powering you back up. With new found strength and adrenaline, you ignored your aching legs and continued bouncing, hips coming down onto him faster and harder, his dick hitting the furthest corners of your hole.
Not being totally selfish, he'd help you by thrusting up itno you as you came bakc down, enhacing the sensations and making the knot in your belly grow tighter with each perfect stroke.
With his nails sinking into your hips, he'd continue forcing your body up and down on his cock as you came, your head falling forwards as you moaned and cursed. Stilling not too far into your cunt, his cum shot out of his dick and onto your walls, your hole leaking from the amount.
He loved spreading your folds after he pulled out, watching you drip onto his thigh and floor.
"Such a good cumslut."
© wrayah, 2024
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