#I got literally one across the two of them
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‘CASUAL’ RAFE CAMERON
genre smut, angst wordcount 1.4k
❝ i've heard so many rumors. ❜
content warnings ,, mentions oral (f!receiving), p in v, masterbation in the bathroom, 'no attachment sex', rumors (blegh, drama llama.), rafe and reader break up. s1 era.
it was so tiring being rafe's quick fix because you just wanted a real thing, y'know, not some quickie on his couch. the worst thing? your friends (not so friendly friends) call you a loser because you still hanging out with him, when any girl would have done dumped him and found someone better. but he is, or was your better.
sure, you did everything with rafe (when he called you up, not when you asked. sure one day you were fed up, left him a voicemail because of course he wouldn't pick up for you. "i've heard so many rumors." you said through the crackly phone. "that i'm just some girl you bang on your couch, i can't believe i thought you thought of me better."
an hour later (per usual), he answered you an hour later, telling you to 'hurry your ass out to tanneyhill'
you thought for a long hard while before ultimately deciding to head out to tanneyhill. where death literally layer waiting for you in your grave. you knew quite well what he was mad about and what he wanted, because you've sent multiple voicemails about the rumors going around outerbanks, you've heard about them and you‘be literally heard tourons living in the drama with you and rafe.
and you could never leave your back turned to long before people behind started murmuring up a storm.
you walked closer to your death in your busted up converses, running over impossible scenarios in your head. you stopped at the gate, texting rafe 'im here come to the gate.' you said with all intentions to be sassy. when you saw him, his pushed back curtain bangs, every part of him looked so hot.
he opened the gate, telling you to come on. rafe roughly grabbed your arm, taking you to his fathers study room were he did most of his work. whilst you were extremely liked throughout the cameron household, only you, rafe and maybe even sarah knew the real intent to your relationship. rafe said annoyingly, "we're not together, let me make myself clear.
it was like his mood immediately changed as he continued, "just a quick fix whenever we need it." when what he really meant to say was when he needed it. maybe you really should dump him. if that's how it really works. he kissed your forehead, "'n baby, no attachment." though three weeks ago he excused the both of you so he could be knee deep in the passenger seat while he was eating you out, remembering all those sweet nothings he whispered into you pussy that made you give him what he wanted. not to mention, he always acted so lovey dovey with you. and it was about time you got fed up.
you didn't expect for his step-mom, rose, two weeks later after the major argument with rafe to invite you for dinner at tanneyhill. rafe, put on a mock smile, ready to peel the skims dress off your body. you were greeted by ward, and did he piss you off, with the fake smiling and his eyes trailing across your body whenever he could. perv.
"welcome, you look nice and sophisticated." ward said with the nicest tone he could bear, "no wonder rafe doesn't bring you up, your so lovely i'd hog you to." he laughed, and it sounded so fake. rafe had his hand on the small of your back as he led you into the dining room.
you took a seat in between wheezie and sarah, rafe sat across from you, with a pissed off expression. like, how could your's and his situation be casual now? you've literally done every thing, fingering, eating you out, a little bit of intercourse action, you've jerked and sucked him off, and you've let him jerk off onto your tits, and it was somehow casual.
after dinner, rafe again, excused you and him to go to the bathroom. he led you to the bathroom, shutting the door as he told you demanding to get on his counter, you back pressing against the mirror. "fuck, y'look s'good tonight." he pushed up the skims dress up to your hips, "'n no underwear?"
"all'that arguin' f'nothin', still my sweet, sweet sluty girl, ain't you?" he slowly rubbed your thighs , "you gotta be quiet though, don't want to embarrass yourself, do you?" he smugly grinned when you nodded, he dipped his fingers into your cunt, and your let out a surprised gasp, squeezing around his fingers.
he kissed you, whispering sweet nothings like you and him didn't just have an argument two weeks ago.
he unbuttoned his pants, using his index to hook the loops were a belt would be to shove them down, following his boxers. he wiped the pre-cum off his tips, using his thumb to slide it into your mouth. "my girl takes everything." he whispered as you attentively sucked on his finger.
you sucked off all the pre-cum off his cock, rafe patting your cheek gently. he spread your legs more, giving him a great view of your pretty, coated pearl, pressing his finger against it, you rolled your head back into the mirror.
"rr-rafe!" you stuttered out as you cried out. he pulled away from your pretty pearl, aligning his cock with your tight hole. he thrusted into your hole, making you cry out for him again.
he squeezed your cheek, holding you in between his thumb and index finger. "c'mon baby give me more than that. not to loud though." he whispered harshly against your neck, gripping your thighs as he kept repeatedly bullying his way into you. and without break, he kept thrusting his cock into you, with a sneaky smirk. "your my girl aintchu?" he kissed your neck, taking a rest inside you.
rafe nipped at your neck as he moved his cock against your gummy hole. feeling you squeeze around him when he bite and sucked on your neck, he kept doing it. even if it felt like you wanted to squeeze his cock off inside of you. "s'tight. jus' how i like it." he whispered against your shoulder, bullying his way back in you as your gummy walls tried to push him out. he aggressively grunted in your ear, feeling the warmness off your breath as you let out a whimper and even softer moans. you gasped when he touched your g-spot, immediately convulsing around him but not yet coming on his cock.
he'd pulled out just before you could finish. he pulled his boxers, following his pants. he buttoned them up, leaving you desperate for release. you found yourself rubbing your clit trying any method of running your clit to come, though you weren't quite being able to finish off yourself. maybe the problem was that you never had to do anything yourself. you came on rafe's cock than he would come on your stomach.
you tugged your black skims dress back down, putting your heels back on as well before making your way out of the bathroom. you sat across from rafe as he had the satisfaction of making you better than before and not helping you like usual. it was great to see you a little grumpy, whilst a little nervous because you decided to be a little slut and go no underwear. but doesn't mean you weren't his little slut.
you were obviously out of it, because sarah had to tap you back into reality as everyone started eating. you cut the steak up before taking a bite of it. "this is really good ms. cameron, you'll have to teach me how to make it." you said cheerfully. rose smiled at you and nodded.
she was really proud of the fact you thought it was that good, but than of course, her cooking for the cameron's was something any mother should do, while some might think that she'd hire someone, she did it herself.
a week later, your friends had told you rafe had said it was casual still and that 'you get off when he hit it' when he never hit your clit not once. sure he left you drying for release but that wasn't the point. and that was near the last straw for you. you were tired.
you wanted a real relationship which was obvious that rafe wasn't ready for, so you found yourself calling him. and again, it wasn't something were he'd answer you, you said to him through the voicemail "i hate that i let this drag on so long, now i hate myself." you took a breath, "we're done." you said before slipping your phone in your pocket and walking away from the wreck after just having breakfast with your friend.
TAGS .ᐟ @archiveofvirtue @sematarygirls @beausling @mattsdolll @pr3ttyf4wn
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#꒰๑ ´` ๑꒱ my works⠀𓈒#rafe cameron#rafe#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron smut#rafe angst#rafe smut#outerbanks#outerbanks angst#outerbanks smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader
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Flash Forward - M. Verstappen (part two)
summary: The world of F1 is never easy. Throw in your childhood enemy and a new coworker you can't quite get a read on? You're in for a wild season.
pairing: Max Verstappen x fem!reader (Ferrari photographer, graffiti artist, childhood enemies), Charles Leclerc x platonic fem!reader, Logan Sargeant x platonic fem!reader
warnings: swearing, drinking, use of y/n, google translated Dutch, inaccurate descriptions of the Ferrari factory (literally couldn’t find ANY photos), mild slut shaming, brief mention of Jos Verstappen. Some of the race results are slightly inaccurate to fit the storyline. Sue me.
a/n: part 2 is finally here!!! Hope y'all enjoy reading this as much as i did writing it!
word count: 24.7k
masterlist
part one
Monte Carlo, Monaco
The smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies filled your apartment as the oven timer beeped. You got up from your spot on the floor, past the dozens of half unpacked boxes that littered the floor, and transferred the treats from the oven to a cooling rack.
The offseason had treated you well so far. Charles and Alexandra had helped you pick out an apartment in Monaco, you had visited your friends and family back home, and you hadn’t seen a single gossip page post about you and a certain Dutchman.
Charles, Alexandra, and yourself were in the middle of attempting to unpack your stuff. You were grateful for the two of them helping you, but the building you had chosen felt oddly familiar. Though a finger couldn’t be placed on why it did.
“What are you even doing with all of those?” Charles asked as he got off of the couch and made his way to the counter opposite of you.
“Giving them away to the neighbors” You said “A little offering for me being in the building”
It was a gesture your mama had suggested when she heard you were moving out of the Netherlands. Three dozen cookies were scattered around your counter, with one last dozen being scooped onto the baking tray. Plenty for the people on your floor, and a few left over for snacking.
“Why? You’re probably never going to see your neighbors ever again” He said, grabbing one of the cooled cookies and taking a bite out of it “These are really good”
“Charl!” Alexandra chided her boyfriend as she finished setting up a few of your framed photos on the bookcase
“It’s all good, Alex. I made extra for a reason. Help yourself” You said as you slid one of the plates of cooled cookies closer to the girl
You watched as her eyes lit up when she took a bite of the treat “He’s right. These are so good. Where’s the recipe from?”
“Family recipe. I got it from mama” You replied
“Ugh I’ll have to bug her for it. But I know your neighbors are going to love them” She said
She was right, the neighbors that you got to meet did love them. As the days passed, you were able to meet the couple that lived to the left, the girl that lived to the right, and the group of guys that lived down the hall. But no matter how many times you knocked on the door across from you, no one was home.
You assumed the apartment was empty at first. There were a handful of units that the building was trying to rent out, and the one across the hall must have been one of them. But your idea was quickly thrown out the window by small signs of life from the apartment.
They started small, with Amazon packages in front of the door. The idea to check and see who they were addressed to popped in your head, but you quickly dismissed the thought. You wouldn’t be able to live down the embarrassment of someone catching you in the act.
A pair of APL sneakers were the next thing you found out by the door. They had to be male, with a size around size 41, and painted white with touches of navy blue. No distinctive marks about who the shoes belonged to. The shoes stayed there for a few days, occasionally with a padel racquet propped up against them.
It wasn’t until you returned home one day that you got to meet the person who lived across the hall. You had been out and about taking photos while exploring the city of Monte Carlo. Your feet ached and all you wanted was to lay down and take a nap.
You were at your door, fiddling to find the right key to your apartment, when the door from across the hall flew open. Jumping out of your skin, you turned to see who was the cause, and came face to face with the man you thought you wouldn’t have to see for at least a few more months.
“Y/n? What are you doing here?” Max questioned, his eyebrows furrowed
“Trying to remember which key is the one to my door.” You said, jiggling the keys you had on your lanyard like it was obvious, “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I live here” Max answered, pointing back to the apartment he had just come out of
At that moment, everything made sense. Of course the building felt familiar, you were in it roughly eight months prior after the Monaco Grand Prix. Of course Charles got all giggly when you told him this was the unit you chose.
“Oh, riiighhtt” You said, pretending to remember as you searched through your keys once again. Thankfully, you quickly found the one you were looking for as you sped the next sentence out of your mouth, “Well it was great seeing you but I have things to do. I’ll see you around”
Max couldn’t get a word out as you hastily unlocked your door and entered your apartment, closing the door behind you.
But Max stood there in the hall, processing what happened. And you missed the small whisper of “It’s good to see you too” that left his mouth.
Your camera bag was tossed carelessly on the floor as you whipped out your phone. Normally disregarding your prized possession like that would cause you to wince, but you had more pressing matters on your hands.
The phone rang once, then twice, then a third time, and you were starting to think she wouldn’t pick up. You knew she was awake, it was the same time back home as it was in Monaco. After the fourth ring, her voice finally filled your ears.
“Hoi lieverd, hoe gaat het met de verhuizing? (Hi dear, how’s the move going?) ” Your mama asked as she answered the phone
“Niet slecht, er staan nog steeds overal dozen (Not bad, there’s still boxes everywhere)” You sighed as you ran your fingers through your hair.
“Uitpakken is altijid lastig. Uiteingelijik kom je er wel doorheen (Unpacking is always a pain. You’ll get through it eventually).” She assured you. “Heb jij je buren al ontmoet? (Have you met your neighbors yet?)”
“Ja, ze lijken allemaal leuk. Je raadt nooit wie er aan de overkant van de gang woont. (Yeah they all seem nice. You’ll never guess who lives across the hall)” You said as you moved to one of the scattered boxes. It was labeled dishes.
“Wie? (Who?)” Your mama asked as you started to put some of your plates away into a cabinet
“Max Verstappen” You answered. Silence overcame the two of you as she processed what you said “Mama?”
“Is dat niet prachtig, pompoen! (Isn’t that lovely, pumpkin!)” She exclaimed once it finally hit her. “Je hebt een bekend gezicht in het gebouw! (You have a familiar face in the building!)
“Nee, mama. We zijn geen vrienden meer. Ik heb je verteld wat er vorig seizoen gebeurd is -. (No mom. We’re not friends anymore. I told you what happened last season -.)” You began to protest, but your mama was having none of it. Your mama knew exactly what had happened with Max, but that didn’t stop her from her delusions.
“Ja, ja. Maar je kunt hem beter uitnodigen voor een etentje. Nu moet ik gaan. Ik heb koekjes in de oven. (Yes, yes. But you better have him over for dinner. Now I have to go. I have cookies in the oven.)” She said.
You said your goodbyes, and hung up, leaving you alone in your apartment to unpack, across the hall from an unexpected neighbor.
======
Max returned later that day, bags full of items he bought on his errands. He was greeted by a small plastic sandwich bag on his doormat. A mere moment away from stepping on its contents, he only realized it was there by the crinkle under his foot. He didn’t think anything of it as he picked it up and carried it into the apartment with the rest of his stuff.
The bag was filled with cookies, and a handwritten note was taped to the outer plastic. Calligraphy donned the piece of paper that looked familiar, but Max couldn’t place where from.
Thanks for welcoming me to the neighborhood. Enjoy the taste of home :)
The cookies looked exactly like the ones from his childhood. The ones he could only get at the grade school bake sale. The ones he would purchase with his saved up money from raking leaves and shoveling snow.
Thoughts of what could happen crossed his mind. He knew it could easily end badly, eating some cookies randomly showing up on his doorstep. But the second he dumped the treats out on a plate, all worries left his mind.
When the cookie hit his taste buds, he was suddenly nine again. The bake sale had just opened. Kids crowding around one particular woman, all trying to get their hands on that chocolate chip cookie.
And now one of the few people in the world who knew that cookie recipe lived across the hall from him.
Maranello, Italy
The sun beat down as you skated down the sidewalk outside the Ferrari factory. Italy in the winter was warmer than you expected, much warmer than the winters back home, causing you to leave your puffy coat in the car. The cracks in the uneven sidewalk caused the board to wobble underneath you, forcing you to hop off before you reached the front doors.
It was the first full staff preseason meeting of the year, and the factory seemed to have a new life to it. Naturally, you showed up a bit early, giving you plenty of time to poke around and take some photos. There was no real goal, just to get the point across that the factory hadn’t sat empty for the past two months.
You were standing on the mezzanine balcony that overlooked the main entrance to the building. As people would enter, you were able to snap photos from above. Most people walked right under, not even noticing you were there, but occasionally you would be spotted and get a wave or two.
Carlos was the first of the drivers to walk in. The clicks of your camera prompted him to look up, the classic confused look plastered to his face.
“What are you doing?” He asked
“My job” You answered before joking “Can you pretend to not look miserable to see me”
“That’s kind of hard to do” Charles said as he entered the atrium, hearing your conversation. You rolled your eyes as you continued to snap photos of the two drivers.
“He’s not wrong.” Carlos mumbled, fighting the smirk on his lips “But I meant with the tripod.” He pointed to the tripod that stood next to you, angled down at the atrium entrance.
“I’m filming” You stated “Most of the film will probably be posted on the Ferrari socials, but some stuff, like this conversation, I’ll scrap and throw in a vlog.”
“You’re vlogging?” Charles asked
“Why?” Carlos added
“Are you trying to become internet famous?” Charles finished, curiosity lacing his words.
“What? No,” You said, rejecting his claim “I’m doing it to spread awareness about women in motorsports. There’s only a handful of us to raise the next generation.”
“Wow. That’s a lot better than being internet famous.” Carlos said, clearly impressed
“Thank you Carlos. I’ll see you guys at the meeting. I have a few more things I wanna shoot before I head to the room.” You said. The two drivers made their way under the balcony towards the meeting room.
Packing up your phone and tripod, you headed down to the main level of the building to capture a few more photos. The loud chatter of people echoed the halls as the meeting room doors were wide open. As you entered, you were one of the last ones to the room. Charles, Carlos, Benedetto, and all the higher ups who you were sure didn’t know your name sat at the front. You made your way towards the back of the room, somehow finding a seat next to Annalese.
“Hey” You said as you slid into your seat, carefully putting your camera bag at your feet. Since it was just the intro meeting, you had no reason to photograph Benedetto and the other execs droning on.
“Hey! How are you doing? How was your break?” Annalese asked
You shrugged. “Not bad, definitely busy. I moved to Monaco, which has been exhausting.”
“Wait, that's so exciting! Didn’t Albon and Russell just move there?” She asked
“Alex did? I’ve seen George, Lando and Charles quite a bit, but didn’t realize he moved too. We had a few game and movie nights during the break.” You told her “The only thing that sucks about it is that Max lives literally right across the hall.”
“No he doesn’t” Annalese said in disbelief
“Yes he does”
“The universe really decided to torture you” Annalese chuckled
“Don’t even get me started” You replied “He hasn’t been a problem yet.”
“That’s good.” She said before her face lit up. “Oh my god I almost forgot. Y/n, this is Isabella. She’s the new photographer we hired. Isabella, this is Y/n.”
Your attention turned from your boss to the girl sitting on the other side of her. Her long brunette hair matched perfectly with her eyes. The name tag everyone was forced to wear during their first few days was pinned to her Ferrari branded polo. You were aware that the company had been looking for a new photographer to help lighten Annalese’s workload, but wasn’t informed they had actually hired one.
“Hi, I’m Y/n” You introduced yourself “It’s so nice to meet you. Welcome to Ferrari”
Isabella responded with a soft smile as she spoke “Thank you.”
Just like you thought, most of the execs that spoke during the meeting droned on. Once you heard one of them lack any enthusiasm as they claimed they were so excited for the entire season, you could block out the rest. The speaker that made you snap out of your daydreaming was none other than the new Team Principal, Fred Vasseur.
“Wow guys” Fred began, his voice bellowing through the room. “It is an absolute honor standing in front of you guys today. I know each and every one of you work your asses off every day to make this team run, and I am more than excited to work with all of you.”
Sakir, Bahrain
The first day back in the paddock was always nerve racking. Teams were making final adjustments to the cars before the public got to see them, rookies were about to make their debuts in the cars they dreamed of driving as kids, and you were back to running around like a mad man.
Even though the paddock was full of anxiety and preseason jitters, it was also full of a sense of familiarity. Faces that you haven’t seen since Abu Dhabi, and names of people that you couldn’t quite remember.
Ferrari had moved up to the second garage along pitlane, with Mercedes dropping and kicking out McLaren. Unfortunately, Red Bull was still on the other side of the red terminals, after winning the Constructors Championship last season.
You were in the midst of giving Isabella her paddock tour, just as Annalese did you a year prior. The new photographer took in all of the information you gave her: which teams prefer visitors on what days, what teams to avoid, and which teams will let you sneak into hospitality and take a warm chocolate chip cookie (Thanks Williams).
As you approached Williams, you noticed a blonde headed boy you had never seen before. He was standing next to Alex, who towered over him, the two of them in deep conversation. The blonde seemed much more reserved, taking everything in rather than doing much of the talking.
You slowed your pace, glancing at Isabella to see her taking in the scene. Alex exuded his usual vibrant energy, while the blonde exuded a quiet focus, his blue eyes absorbed every detail.
The Ferrari red polos always made you stick out like a sore thumb near the blue Williams garage. Alex quickly caught sight of you, waving both you and Isabella over.
“Y/n!” he called “It’s so good to see you. How was your winter break?”
“Not bad. Charles convinced me to join the Monaco group” you replied, excitement bubbling inside you
“He did? We’ll have to meet up sometime when we’re both back home. Lily and I will have to show you some of our favorite spots”
“You’ll have to beat Charles and Alexandra to it” you warned before turning to your coworker. “This is Isabella, our new photographer for the season.”
“It’s so nice to meet you” she said, giving the driver and the blonde a warm smile.
“I’m Alex, and this is our new driver, Logan”
Logan offered a shy smile, his blue eyes bright with curiosity. “Hi, nice to meet you both” he said, his voice soft but steady
Isabella’s excitement to be in the paddock seemed to encourage the blonde “So, how are you finding your first race weekend, Logan?” She asked
“It’s amazing” He replied, glancing at Alex before continuing “Everything is so fast paced, and there’s so much to learn, but I love it.”
Alex chimed in “He’s been doing really great, really picking up on things quickly. We’re lucky to have him.”
Logan glanced down to your red polo before remeeting your eyes. “Are you also a photographer?”
You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips, “Yeah, I mostly work with Charles, but you’ll probably see me bouncing all around Ferrari.”
Logan copied your nod, clearly intrigued with your role in the team “That sounds really cool. It must be amazing to be so close to everything.”
“It is. It’s definitely overwhelming at times, but that’s just part of the fun” you said
Further down pit lane was Ferrari’s former neighbors, and sure enough the garage was bustling. Mechanics were busy assembling the car, engineers were analyzing the data from testing, while Lando and an unnamed man were yapping right outside.
“So that’s Lando, he’s one of the McLaren drivers.” You informed Isabella as you pointed to the curly haired man. “And I’m going to be so honest, I have no idea who the other guy is.”
At the sound of your voice saying your name, Lando’s head turned. The other guy followed suit, his eyes landing on the two of you. Lando broke into a smile upon seeing you, while the unnamed man’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Y/n!” The Brit exclaimed as he walked over to you “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you”
“You saw me last week, Lando.” You informed him. “This is Isabella, she’s the new Ferrari photographer”
As you looked between the two of them, you could see Isabella practically throwing heart eyes at the driver. Was he conventionally attractive? Sort of. But knowing his playboy personality, he wasn’t someone you’d wanna be with romantically.
“I’m Lando” He said as if it wasn’t obvious before motioning to the other guy to come join the group. “And this is Oscar. He’s my new teammate”
“Hi guys” He said, a thick Australian accent peaking through. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, much less enthusiastic with the unexpected guests. You assumed his demeanor was just from the nerves of the first day, all of the new information and new people popping in and out was overwhelming.
“I’m y/n” You said “Isabella and I are both photographers for Ferrari”
You learned a bit more about the Aussie, both from him telling you and Lando making slight comments. Lando joined you in swapping stories from the paddock, filling both of the newbies in. Each time Lando spoke, you swore hearts grew in her pupils.
“They seem nice” Isabella spoke as the two of you finally left the papaya behind
“I can’t vouch for Oscar, but I know Lando is. Most of the drivers are good guys.” You told her
Thankfully she didn’t ask for any explanation on what you meant by most. Having to explain your personal childhood beef and adult situation with the reigning World Champion would’ve bruised your ego a bit too much.
Finally, you found yourselves standing in front of the final garage on pit lane. The navy blue was ice cold, a complete one eighty from the slight warmth it gave you before. The garage was emptier than McLaren’s but still had a few stragglers working on the cars.
“And last but not least, Red Bull. Last years Constructor’s Champion, and home to last year’s Driver’s Champion” You said
“And home to the best content team on the grid” A voice said.
Both you and Isabella turned around to see Meg approaching. You shook your head, but cracked a grin as you introduced the two girls to each other.
“You’ll probably be seeing her and the other Red Bull girls pretty often. Aside from being garage neighbors, we do collab content with them occasionally” You informed the new photographer
“Speaking of which, we have something scheduled in an hour.” Meg told you
Your eyes widened as you processed her words. “We do?”
======
And that’s how you found yourself, along with the rest of the Red Bull and Ferrari media teams, outside the teams’ hospitalities. Two hippity hops balls were in your hands, one blue and one red. Yourself, along with Isabella were setting up the activity you were forcing the four drivers to do, while Meg, Sofi, and Jess were setting up the cameras and lighting.
“What the hell are you making us do?” Charles asked as both him and Carlos exited the Ferrari motorhome. At the same time, Checo and Max joined the group as they made their way through the paddock.
Holding up the hippity hops, a shit eating grin formed on your face as you answered “We’re playing a game!”
When Max’s gaze first landed on you, his heart skipped a beat. Your hair color slightly changed since he saw you in the hallway, but you looked just as amazing in the Ferrari polo he knew you were forced to wear. He only looked away when Meg was giving directions.
“The rules are simple” Meg said once everything was set up. “The first person is going to hop the hippity hop from this tape mark, to the table down there. When you get to the table, there is a track name written on a piece of paper. When you’re done drawing the track, you turn around and hop back. Give the ball to your teammate and they’re going to do the same thing”
“There are four different tracks so no one can cheat,” Jess added.
As expected, chaos ensued. Opposing drivers tried knocking each other off of their rides, while laughs were held back by everyone on the media teams. Fans and employees alike couldn’t help but stop and watch for a few moments as four of the best drivers on the grid made an absolute fool of themselves.
After a highly competitive race, the Red Bull boys were deemed the winners. The media teams cleaned up the mess that was made, as the four drivers simply meandered around, yapping to whoever would listen.
You were breaking down the foldable table with Isabella as Max approached. Out of the corner of your eye, Max fiddled with the Red Bull can in his hands, trying to figure out what to say to you.
“Hey” Max finally said
“Hi Max” You replied, your focus still on the table that wouldn’t fold
The hand that wasn’t messing with the Red Bull was stuck in his pocket. “Just wanted to say thank you for the cookies. They were really good”
Your eyes broke from the table to meet his for the first time that day. “You ate them?”
When you put the cookies on his doormat, you didn’t know what would happen to them. You assumed he would just ignore them or throw them out. The thought of him eating them didn’t come close to crossing your mind.
“I mean, yeah” He answered as if it was obvious “It was the same recipe your mama always made for the bake sale, right?”
“I-yeah, they are. She gave me the recipe when I graduated grade school” You told him. It was hard enough to process the fact that he ate your cookie peace offering. But for him to remember that it was your mama’s recipe, and the same one she brought to all of the fundraisers truly blew you away.
“They taste just like how I remembered them,” Max said. “Hope the move to Monaco wasn’t too bad”
“It was pretty easy. Charles and Alexandra helped pick out the place. The two of them and a couple other guys on the grid helped me move in and unpack. I think the hardest part was meeting my crazy neighbor that lives across the hall.” You joked, though it was partially true.
“You two know each other?” Isabella asked, causing you to break your gaze away from Max. To be completely honest, you forgot she was even there. The table had been folded up and she heard your entire conversation.
“Yeah, we uh” You began, not really sure how to label the childhood enemies to semi friends to whatever you are now.
“We grew up together,” Max finished. You gave him a quick smile, thanking him for saving you.
“Grew up together and I happened to move into the apartment across the hall from him. Didn’t even know he lived there.” You said “If you want to head back to Ferrari, go ahead. I’m taking these to the Energy Station and then I’ll be back”
The two of you watched as Isabella made her way back to the red and black motorhome. Neither of you dared to move a muscle until she was gone.
“How’s the new girl been?” He asked
You glanced back to the Ferrari motorhome to make sure she was gone before speaking. “She’s okay. Definitely gonna take a few races to grasp everything. She was eyeing Lando earlier when we ran into him on her pit tour”
“Somehow I’m not surprised” Max said, shaking his head “He could breathe and girls would flock to him”
“Right” You agreed.
Max wasn’t sure how the first interaction with you during the season would go. He was expecting you to ignore him, storm off or cause a scene. The absolute last thing on his list was you being willing to hold a conversation.
“Do you need help carrying the table?” Max asked, though he was slightly relieved when you declined the offer. His hands were sweaty, and with his luck, he’d end up dropping it.
The two of you grew quiet as neither of you knew what to say. The sound of your shoes crunching on the broken asphalt filled the air.
“So you didn’t move across the hall to get closer to me?” Max joked, breaking the temporary silence
“No Max, I didn’t” You answered “I honestly completely forgot you even lived in that building. When I went to your place, it was late at night in a city I didn’t know at the time”
“I figured. I’m surprised Charles didn’t say anything” He said
“I’d honestly be more surprised if he had told me” You chuckled. Charles was definitely a yapper, but he knew you would’ve tossed any thought of moving to Monaco if you knew you’d be neighbors with Max.
“That’s fair, he’s picky with what info he shares” Max said “How’ve you been though, since last season?”
“Really good” You answered “All the crazy rumors have gone away.”
The words hit Max harder than they should’ve. You were never his, and he was never yours. But god did he wish you were. Rumors were the closest he had gotten, and he never wanted more than those crazy rumors to be true.
“That’s good, glad they all died down.” He said. The last thing he needed was to ruin the civility between you. So, he swallowed the lump of feelings and forced a smile.
You had dropped the table off outside of the motorhome for their media team to pick up when they got there. Quickly, goodbyes were said before you made your way back to Ferrari.
======
The race on Sunday was forgettable.
Charles had done well until he was forced to retire due to an engine failure. While Carlos placed in fourth, the Red Bulls had taken the top two steps, with Max landing on the top. As much as you would have loved for Ferrari to join the Red Bulls, you weren’t sure if you could deal with hearing your national anthem yet.
So, you volunteered to be the photographer that followed Charles to the media pen. It gave you plenty of chances to get more content of the driver. Most of the photos were going to turn out the same, just him yapping, but you didn’t care. The images would most likely end up on your photography dedicated Instagram account, and that was fine. You just needed a reason to be busy.
After celebrating the win with his team, Max entered the media pen with his PR manager. One of the Ferrari drivers was in the pen already, though he only realized it was Charles when he spotted a familiar camera lens a few feet away.
He moved through the rituals of answering the media's ridiculous questions, every once in a while looking to his right to catch a glimpse of you. Each time, you could feel his eyes land on you as well as the exact moment they left. You were able to quickly snap a photo of him when his focus was no longer on you. Another group of B roll images that would end up on your photography account.
======
You were fortunate enough to travel back to Monaco immediately after your job was done. As much as you loved traveling and exploring the world, you were always happy to be home.
The same couldn’t be said for Max. His plan was to leave Bahrain as soon as his media duties were done, but due to a failure in the engine, he was forced to stay another day. It wouldn’t have been a problem, if he didn’t have the cats waiting for him.
Usually, the cats would be fine for a race weekend. He would have the guy down the hall check in on them, giving them fresh food, water, and litter. But, the guy down the hall went on vacation the same day Max was going to be back. It left him with no choice but to reach out to someone else.
It was late when you finally got back to your apartment. Very little debate was needed to decide that the unpacking could wait until the morning, opting for a warm shower instead. When you got out, you weren’t expecting your phone to go off.
Max: Can you do me a favor? The plane is broken so I’m stuck in Bahrain for another day
Your eyebrows furrowed as you read the text. As much as you didn’t want to help him, you knew he wouldn’t reach out unless it was absolutely dire. Your fingers danced around before typing up a response.
You: Depends, what do you need?
Max: Can you take care of the cats for me? My usual sitter left for vacation today. It’s just feeding, water, and changing the litter
As his next message came in, you knew you had to say yes. You had fallen in love with Jimmy and Sassy the second you walked into Max’s apartment last season. It would be cruel to say no.
You: Yeah, I can. Lmk where your key/the supplies are and I’ll run over
A sigh of relief left Max’s lips as he received your texts. He quickly sent over instructions on the cats, along with where his spare key was located. You shot back a “thanks” before going on your way.
Even without Max telling you, you easily could’ve guessed where his key was. The only thing outside his door was a dirty mat. Without second thought, you lifted up the corner. Sure enough, a silver key sat under it.
The key slid into the lock and twisted with ease. Twisting the knob, you pushed the door, but it wouldn’t budge. You tried again, knowing full well you were supposed to push, but again it stayed shutl. On the third attempt, the door finally burst open, and two pairs of cat eyes stared at you from the other side. Meows from the duo ensued as you closed the door behind you.
The apartment looked almost exactly like you remembered it last season. His helmets were hung along the walls while some of his trophies were displayed on shelves. His sim was tucked into the far corner of the living room, flanked by more F1 memorabilia. You couldn’t help but chuckle when one of the newest trophies to his collection, the Driver’s Champion trophy, was carelessly placed on a mini fridge stocked full of Red Bull.
Following the directions Max had sent you, you were quickly able to find the litter as well as the food and water. When you got to changing the food, Jimmy weaved his way in and out of your legs, almost causing you to trip over him. Sassy cautiously watched from a distance as you went about your job, but let you get close enough to her to snap a photo of the two cats. After one last look over the apartment, you made your way back across the hall.
Max received one last text from you letting him know the cats were doing well. Thoughts of you taking care of the felines with him flooded his mind as he received the photo of them.
Baku, Azerbaijan
You propped your phone up on a ledge in a relatively quiet corner of the paddock. At the start of the season, you decided you would vlog every single race weekend, and Baku was no different. It was the first sprint weekend though, giving you plenty more content.
Outside of the motorhome, you filmed the introduction, including explaining the sprint weekend schedule. Because of the additional race, qualifying and practices had been altered, moved, or removed to accommodate.
You’d be lying if you said vlogging felt completely normal. During the first race weekend, you were so in your head and convinced people were making fun of you that you almost completely scrapped the idea for the entire season.
“What are you doing?” you heard a voice ask. Your attention turned from your phone to the stretch of sidewalk you were on. Logan was standing there, confusion plastered on his face.
You smiled, a little embarrassed, “Just vlogging the weekend. Figured I’d share the F1 experience” You gestured to your phone where you quickly stopped the recording.
Logan raised an eyebrow, stepping closer “That’s a bold move in this paddock” He chuckled, but there was a hint of genuine interest in his voice.
“Yeah, I guess it is. At first, I thought people would think it’s silly, but I’m really enjoying it now. It’s a different way to connect with the fans.”
He nodded, leaning casually up against the ledge. “I get that. Everyone loves the behind-the-scenes stuff. It’s fun to see the real side of racing.”
A rush of relief filled you as he showed his support. “Thanks. What about you? How’s everything going at Williams?”
Logan shrugged, indifference shown on his face. “Eh alright. I don’t think the car is where it’s supposed to be, but there’s still plenty of season left.”
“Got to stay optimistic, right?” you replied “You know what would make you feel better?”
“What?” Logan asked, his eyebrows furrowing
A smirk formed on your lips as you stood up. “A fresh chocolate chip cookie from Williams”
Logan laughed, shaking his head “You’re not wrong, those cookies are to die for. It’s a shame I already had my allotted cookie for the day.”
“Oh come on. I don’t think it’ll kill you to have one extra cookie. It’s a pick me up.” you teased
“Tell that to my trainer.” Logan said “We’d have to sneak in there if we wanted any”
The wheels in your head began to turn, already plotting “Easy. I’ll need your help getting in though. You know I don’t have access”
“Deal” Logan said, a playful spark in his eyes. “Just don’t let the team catch you, otherwise I’ll be in trouble”
“Trust me, I’ll keep it discreet.” You said as you picked up your phone. “Do you mind if I vlog the walk to Williams though?”
He shook his head “Not at all. Honestly the entire thing would make for some good content”
“Perfect” you said as you hit record again. “So change of plans. I ran into Logan, and we are currently on the way to the Williams motorhome to go and grab some cookies. For those of you who don’t know, Williams is known on the grid for having the best and freshest sweet treats.”
As the two of you walked down the paddock, you and Logan talked about how he navigates through a race weekend, and how he’s feeling about his first F1 sprint weekend. You finally got to the Williams hospitality, your stomach hurting from laughing so much with him. You paused your recording to strap your phone to place it in the harness you got specifically to capture behind the scenes footage.
“Wait, how are we even doing this?” you asked, looking at the American
“I’ll distract, you grab the goodies,” he said, you nodded in response.
After pressing record once more, you followed Logan into the Williams building, hoping that your Ferrari red would blend in just enough. The dining area was bustling, a couple of the team members chatting while others worked on prep. In the far corner sat the cookie jar.
Logan walked over to the lady who was overseeing the dessert station, easily striking up a conversation with her. The way she was facing blocked her view of the cookie jar, giving you an easy route to take them.
You walked over, acting like you belonged, and grabbed enough for you, Logan, and the two Ferrari boys, as you were filming with them in a bit. Once you had the cookies, you tapped Logan on the shoulder, letting him know you were good. Both you and Logan disappeared out of the WIlliams hospitality, into the blazing heat of Azerbaijan.
Eventually, you got to the bright red Ferrari motorhome. The blasting A/C was a welcoming relief as you escaped the heat. Both of the drivers were sitting at a table talking, only noticing you when you approached them.
“Well, well, well, look who finally showed up” Carlos spoke as he got up from his chair
“Oh shut up” You said, rolling your eyes “I ran into Logan and grabbed a chocolate chip cookie from Williams” Both of the drivers' ears perked up. They knew how good those cookies were.
“Did you bring us any?” Charles asked
You moved your hand from behind your back, showing two cookies wrapped in a napkin “You know I wouldn’t keep these away from you”
“You are amazing” Carlos said as he, along with Charles, took a cookie.
“I know, I know” You smiled before placing your camera bag on the table “It’s going to be a fun session today though” A groan left both of the boys’ mouths, cookie crumbs following suit.
“The last time you said that you made us stick clothespins to our bodies” Carlos reminded you.
“Yeah, and that was fun for me” You smirked, “But I think you guys are actually going to find today enjoyable”
Both of the drivers exchanged glances as the only sound came from you unzipping your camera bag. You took out one of your cameras, offering it to Charles.
“You are becoming tour guides” You said “You can pick who's going to operate the camera and who’s gonna be on camera, but you guys are going to give a tour of the garage, motorhome, and general paddock area”
In addition to the camera you handed Charles, you took out another one for you to use. While you strapped your phone back onto the mount on your chest, the drivers decided that Charles was going to record and Carlos would be in front of the camera.
“So how do I work this thing?” Charles asked, clearly confused by the gadget in his hand
A chuckle left your lips before you walked him through everything he would need. You could see the pure joy in his face when he discovered to zoom and focus by turning the lens. As he hit the red record button, you were ready to roll.
“Hi guys, today I am going to be giving you a tour of the paddock in Baku.” Carlos started as he looked around the motorhome. “Charles is here too, he’s operating the camera today”
“Hello guys” Charles said as he waved his fingers in front of the lens, clearly way too close for comfort.
The tour of the motorhome was nothing short of boring. Carlos danced in someone’s empty office, in addition to almost spilling the entirety of the pot of freshly brewed coffee. As the three of you left the motorhome, Charles offered up the camera to Carlos. The Spaniard happily took it before looking to you like a lost puppy.
“Can you show me how to operate?” He asked
You passed the camera in your hands to Charles before walking over to Carlos. Just like you did with the other driver, you walked Carlos through the buttons and everything he needed to do a good job. Once Carlos got the idea, you took your camera back from Charles.
“Alright guys, we are now in the main walkway area of the paddock. Most of the time spent here is walking to and from the motorhome and the garage, or to our various media commitments” Charles said to the camera
As you turned to follow Charles and Carlos down the pavement, you found Max walking towards the group. The smile on his face quickly dropped when he realized you weren’t the one operating your camera, and that it was Carlos instead. But the smile, along with an increased dose of nerves, returned when he saw you a few feet behind the driver.
“Is he taking your job?” Max asked, motioning to Carlos. Both of the Ferrari drivers were hypnotized by their task that they didn’t notice the Dutchman.
“You could say that” You chuckled “I figured I should stop torturing the guys during my sessions with them and actually give them something fun to do”
“I wish our media team did something like this. It gets boring constantly doing interviews” He admitted
Your eyebrows furrowed “Didn’t you guys go offroading across Austria a few years ago?”
“I mean yeah, but that was years ago” He said “I mean I want more fun things in the paddock. You guys always have the best ideas”
Your cheeks grew warm as you took in Max’s compliment. It was always fun when Ferrari and Red Bull worked together, but you knew where he was coming from with Red Bull’s ideas being boring. As much as you loved their media team, whenever it came to a meeting with them, it always ended with tons of their ideas being scrapped.
“Thank you, Max” You said, a soft smile forming on your lips, “I’ll have to check our calendars and see what we have going on in the next few races. If there’s time, we should definitely do another collab”
In the distance, you could see Carlos and Charles getting further and further away. If you didn’t follow them now, you knew you would never be able to find them again. Turning to Max, your soft smile turned into an apologetic one.
“I’m so sorry but I have to go. I don’t need Tweedledee and Tweedledum breaking my camera” you apologized
“No worries” Max said “I’m surprised you even let them touch it in the first place”
A laugh left your mouth as you said your goodbyes to Max. You quickly turned around and jogged down the paddock to catch up to the two drivers who were still goofing off.
The rest of the filming session went as smoothly as it could. Shenanigans still ensued, but thankfully your camera was still intact, and filled with tons of content for you to use.
======
It was almost ten at night when you entered the hotel lobby. You had just gotten back from the track, and by the looks of Max standing at the elevators, so did he.
“Hey stranger” You called as you approached the driver
Max turned to see you walking towards him. You still had on your work uniform, and exhaustion all over your face. But when he locked eyes with you, a small smile formed, but your eyes screamed you needed to go to bed.
“Hey, how was your day?” He asked
“Long” You replied “And it’s not even close to being over.”
“What? Aren’t you just going up to bed?” Max asked
You chuckled as you shook your head “I wish. I still have to eat dinner and edit some of the content from today. I’ll probably get to sleep in a few hours.”
Max winced as he heard your plans for the night. While he knew there was more to a media job than snapping photos and recording videos, he didn’t think the responsibilities would spill so late into the night.
“Do you want a friend? Just so you’re not alone?” Max suggested
“Oh, you really don’t have to” You said as the elevator doors opened. Max followed you into the lift. “You have to drive tomorrow”
“So?” He asked “I usually stay up late looking at data anyway. It wouldn’t be a problem”
“Alright, if it isn’t an inconvenience, you can join me.” You gave in “But I can’t have any distractions, I need to get this stuff done tonight. It’s all going out tomorrow”
A ding filled the elevator signaling that you had reached the correct floor. The doors opened and you followed Max out into the hall.
“Deal. I’ll go change and then I’ll be over” He said as he made a left down the hall, while you made a right.
“Oh, and y/n?” He called
“Yes?”
“Room service is on me tonight” Max told you. As much as you wanted to object and say you could take care of yourself, Max had disappeared down the hall.
You quickly made your way into your hotel room, showering and trading your work polo and jeans for a black Ferrari hoodie and matching sweatpants. As you set up your laptop and the SD cards of your two cameras, a soft knock landed on your door. Opening it, you found Max on the other side. He was dressed in a similar sweatsuit to yours, only being navy blue instead. His hands filled with his laptop and a pair of headphones.
“Come on in, make yourself comfortable” You said as you moved to the side.
Max made his way into the small hotel room. The queen bed was the centerpiece, but two desks lined up against the far window, giving a gorgeous view of the city lights of Baku. He saw your stuff on the desk to the right, so he opted to place his stuff to the left.
“So, what’re you thinking for dinner?” He asked as he took out the pamphlet that had the room service menu on it.
“Depends, what are you getting?” You replied as you walked up to him, barely being able to comfortably look over his shoulder at the menu.
Max could feel your presence behind him. Every breath, every movement was taken note of. A jolt ran through his body when he felt your chin land on his shoulder, trying to get a better look at the paper he was holding. He didn’t dare take his eyes off of the menu, desperately trying to think of an answer to your question.
“I-uh um, probably the kebabs” He stuttered out, before handing you the menu over his shoulder
Your eyes glanced over the menu, eventually choosing one of the chicken dishes. Max watched as you picked up the phone and placed the order, his mind still spinning from how close the two of you were moments earlier.
“Alright, it should be here soon” You said once you hung up the phone. “Thank you for paying for it, you really didn’t have to.”
Max shrugged “It’s no problem, really. It’s the least I could do to make your day a bit better”
As the two of you waited for your food, you got to work. The main goal was to edit the tour that Charles and Carlos had given earlier in the day. Easy, right?
Wrong.
It started with the fact that Max was simply in the room. There was nothing he did or said that forced you to take your eyes off of your screen to look at him, but you did. In fact, he was quite respectful. He didn’t say a word to you as you attempted to work.
But you couldn’t help but catch yourself staring at him. You didn’t know why, it was just Max afterall. Just Max who continuously made fun of you in grade school. Just Max who almost got you arrested years ago. Just Max who welcomed you to Formula One with open arms. Just Max who you cried to in the hotel in Miami last season. Just Max, who you developed a crush on last year that you swore you bottled up and put on the shelf.
At least, you thought you did.
It only got worse when Max realized that you were staring. He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, only doing a double take when he saw your attention was on him already. He removed the headset and paused the video he was watching to turn to you.
“Are you okay?” He asked
“What?” You questioned snapping out of your daze. “Um yeah, I’m good”
Max’s eyes narrowed, not believing you for a second. “Are you sure? You were looking at me weirdly”
“Yeah, no, yeah I’m fine. Just lost in thought. Editing decisions, that’s all” You explained
He nodded, still unsure whether or not to be convinced. Before he could question your reasons, a knock on the door caused him to break eye contact.
“I’ll get it” He insisted
You watched as Max got up from his seat to your door. After a brief exchange between the driver and the hotel worker, Max came back with two trays in his hands. You rushed over, taking the second tray from him so he wouldn’t spill. As your fingers brushed his, you fought to capture the butterflies that were taking over your stomach.
“Thank you again, Max” You said, placing your tray down at your station.
“Of course, y/n” He replied as he followed suit by placing his tray at his desk. “How’s the video editing going along?”
“You wanna see it?” you asked, a smirk dancing on your lips
“Of course”
You scooted your chair closer to him, dragging your laptop and your food along with it. As you rewound the video to the start, you could feel Max rest his arm on the back of your chair.
Laughter immediately ensued as you pressed play. The camera was slightly shaky as Charles’ voice asked for help on how to use it. Your voice was faintly heard as you explained, before cutting to Carlos introducing himself and explaining the reason for the video.
The footage continued, showcasing the areas around the paddock, garage, and motorhome. Every so often, you would chime in, giving Max little behind-the-scenes tidbits. Suddenly, the film changed to a part of the paddock you don’t remember being at.
“This must have been when we were busy yapping” you said as you squinted at the screen
“Yeah, glad nothing happened to the camera while you were gone.” Max said “You can never trust the two of them” As if on cue, the screen jostled and a view of the grass was shown.
“He dropped my camera?!” You exclaimed, your eyes widened at the sight “I’m going to kill him”
Max burst into laughter, clearly entertained by your reaction. “At least it still works”
You shook your head in disbelief, a mix of frustration and amusement bubbling in you “I shouldn’t have expected anything less from the idiots.”
Max leaned back in his chair, a smirk playing on his lips, “You know, instead of a tour, you could title the video: ‘How not to handle a camera, featuring C squared”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help but chuckle. As you resumed the video, you watched Charles pick up the camera, his sheepish grin evident even through the shaky footage. “Oh he knows he messed up” you muttered, watching as he tried to make light of the situation, joking with Carlos in the background.
Monte Carlo, Monaco
As much as you loved traveling, you were thankful for Formula One to return to Monaco. Living out of a suitcase was tough, but the experiences you got made it all worth it.
With you having a place in Monaco, you offered Logan and Oscar your place for the weekend. The three of you had slowly grown closer as the season progressed, bonding over running late to whatever track you were at, watching random sporting events, and a lot of FaceTime calls.
“Holy shit!” Logan exclaimed as he walked out to your balcony, his eyes wide with disbelief. “This is your view?”
You chuckled, leaving against the railing beside him. “Pretty incredible, right? It never gets old.”
He gazed out at the breathtaking scene - the sparkling blue of the Mediterranean stretching out beneath the blazing sun, the picturesque harbor filled with yachts, and the iconic winding streets of Monte Carlo. The only change to your regular view was the presence of the grandstands placed around the streets.
“This is unreal,” he said, shaking his head in amazement, “I cannot believe we get to spend the weekend here.”
Oscar joined the two of you out on the balcony, a grin on his face as he took in the view for his first time. “It’s definitely a step up from the hotel rooms we usually get” he joked
You laughed, appreciating the camaraderie that had developed among the three of you. You knew Logan and Oscar had been friends, and former teammates in karting, so you were grateful the duo welcomed you to the friend group.
“I figured it’d be nice to have a home base instead of just dealing with a cramped hotel room” You shrugged
Logan turned to you, sincerity in his eyes “Thanks for offering this. It makes a huge difference. I feel like I can actually relax before the race.”
“It’s no problem at all” you replied “It’s fun having friends around”
“You already have a certain someone around though” Oscar chimed in a teasing tone in his voice. You furrowed your eyebrows, intrigued. “Max is across the hall, isn’t he?”
The boys both knew about your situation with Max - the reigning world champion often being a topic of conversation on those late night calls, mixed with playful teasing and curious speculation. You felt your cheeks warm at the mention of his name.
“Yeah, he is,” you admitted, trying to keep your tone casual, but the slight flutter in your stomach gave you away. “But it’s not what you think”
Logan raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained. “What do you mean? Just friends sharing a building?”
You nodded, though the teasing glances exchanged between the two of them made you a little self conscious. “Exactly. We’re just neighbors. We don’t even hang out when we’re both home.”
Oscar leaned in, clearly enjoying the moment. “Right, but you two hang out in other places around the world, sharing room service and media content.”
You rolled your eyes, laughing but feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement. “Okay, yes. We’ve had some fun moments together. But it’s all professional.”
Logan chuckled “Sure, professional. Until you end up showing him more than just your photos”
You shook your head, trying to suppress a smile “You guys are ridiculous. Max is great, but I’m focused on my work.”
“Just admit it,” Oscar said, still grinning “You wouldn’t mind having him around more often.”
You sighed, running your fingers through your hair. “Okay, maybe I wouldn’t mind it” you admitted, finally coming to terms with the resurfacing feelings you had for the Dutchman. “But let’s be real. I have a job to do.”
Logan nudged you playfully “Exactly, you can’t let a guy distract you. We need those epic shots of us on the track.”
You rolled your eyes “I don’t even take photos of you guys.” you shot back, playfully dismissing him before disappearing back into your apartment.
======
The Grand Prix being in Monaco though, only meant plenty of running around with the hometown boy and late nights editing content. Qualifying had ended hours earlier, but you and Charles were still stuck in the paddock, filming videos for all of the Ferrari social media pages.
“I think we have one more to do, then we should be good” you said, your voice full of remorse “I don’t know why they chose to throw all of this on us with the race being tomorrow”
Charles chuckled, running a hand through his hair, clearly tired, but still in good spirits. “It’s part of the stress of a home race. Everyone wants a bit of you.”
“Tell me about it” you agreed as you set up the last shot. Thankfully the last thing on the to do list was a simple thank you video to the fans. Once the camera was set up, you moved the driver into frame, and pressed record.
Even through the visible exhaustion on his face, Charles executed his words perfectly. Times like this made you grateful to work with a driver who was able to crank out the grueling work quickly, so both of you could get out of there.
“Perfect” you said after stopping the recording. “Thank you again for doing all of this, it wasn’t fair to you”
Charles shrugged “It’s like this, can’t change any of it now.” he said. You couldn’t help but smile at him messing up the saying ‘it is what it is’.
“True. But you’re free to go. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” you said as you packed up your camera, tripod, and phone that was recording the behind the scenes
His eyebrows furrowed as his head tilted “Are you not leaving too?”
You shook your head. “Not yet. If I go home, I’m going to crash, and I need to get everything we just did edited for tomorrow.” you answered
“You better not stay up too late though” Charles warned “We need you ready to go for tomorrow”
You couldn’t help but chuckle “I’ll try, but you know how it is - there’s always one more thing to tweak. Regardless, there’s nothing a can of Red Bull won’t fix.”
A smirk formed on Charles’ lips, his eyebrows both raised. It took you a second to process what you had said.
“I meant it as a general term for an energy drink” you explained yourself, thankful that the paddock wasn’t super bright so he couldn’t see the blush on your cheeks
“Yeah, sure you did” he rolled his eyes, the smirk still plastered on his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow y/n.” He said before turning to head to the exit
“See you tomorrow, Charles” you echoed before turning and entering the Ferrari motorhome
As you worked hastily in the paddock, trying to get everything done for the night, Max had entered your shared apartment building, ready to rest before the race the next day. What he didn’t expect to see was a certain American driver already standing at the elevator doors.
“Logan?” Max questioned. Sure enough, the blonde turned around, his face filled with just as much confusion as Max’s. “What are you doing here?”
“Just trying to get some rest before the race tomorrow.” He answered “I’m staying with y/n for the weekend. She offered her place.”
Max’s eyebrows raised as Logan’s words hit his ears. She offered her place. They repeated in his mind. “Oh, did she?”
Logan nodded, a friendly grin on his face. “Yeah, she’s been super accommodating. Figured it would be easier and cheaper than trying to find a hotel.”
The elevator echoed a ding through the lobby. Once the doors opened, the drivers walked in, Max opting to lean up against the wall.
“So you’re just crashing with her, huh? How convenient.” he said, crossing his arms. Indifference feigned from his mouth, but curiosity, mixed with a tinge of jealousy bubbled underneath the surface.
“Yeah, it’s quite nice being literally walking distance to the track. I’ve never had anything like this before” The American said, pressing the button for the floor Max shared with you.
Max couldn’t help but chuckle, trying to mask his intrigue. “I’ll have to admit, she picked a great building to move into. But you didn’t just come for the accommodations, did you?”
Logan shot back a look. He knew Max was trying to bait him, get him to slip up and admit something he didn’t actually mean. “Y/n’s a great friend, always fun to hang out with. She’s been showing me her photos and paintings. They cover her walls.”
Again, Logan’s words struck Max like a bullet, just as another realization hit. Logan had seen your apartment before Max had. He had seen your hotel rooms and childhood bedroom, but never your current residence.
Max’s expression shifted slightly, a mix of amusement and annoyance. “Oh really? She’s shown you her art? That’s…nice.” The words felt heavy on his tongue as he tried to keep his tone light.
“It’s impressive. You should ask her to show you sometime” Logan replied, only slightly aware of the undertones of the conversation “She has a real talent for capturing the energy of the races.”
The younger image of himself blazed in Max’s mind. He knew all too well how good you were at capturing the energy of a win.
“Sure,” Max replied, forcing a nonchalant tone. “I’ll add it to my list of things to do.”
As they stepped out of the elevator and into the hallway, Logan continued to praise your work. “Yeah, it’s honestly great to see someone so passionate about what they do. It makes you appreciate the whole atmosphere in the paddock more.”
Max nodded, his mind racing far away from the conversation in front of him. He didn’t want to admit it, but the thought of you and Logan spending time together stirred something within him. “Yeah, she’s definitely talented.”
The rest of the walk down the hall was silent, neither driver really knowing what to say. When they got to their respective doors, they exchanged nods, bidding the other goodbye. Logan turned first, Max expecting him to knock on your door, but was quickly caught off guard when he inserted a key into the slot.
His heart sank as he watched the knob turn, the door creaking open quickly after. Logan walked in, giving no glance back to his gridmate before the door closed again.
Max stood there for a moment, staring at the door. The reality of Logan being in your apartment felt like a punch to the gut. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the already built irritation.
“Get it together, Max,” he muttered to himself. He had no right to feel possessive, and had much bigger things on his plate in the next twenty four hours.
======
The Grand Prix was relatively forgettable. While Charles’ strategy was pretty standard, Carlos’ had to be one of the worst you’ve ever seen.
“What the hell are they doing with his race?” you asked Annalese, running into her along the pit.
She glanced at the engineers and strategiests sitting on the wall, each of them with their eyes glued on data filled screens. “No clue. Honestly we could call a better strategy than them”
“Exactly” you agreed “Every time I’ve heard his radio, it’s just been him complaining”
“To be fair, he does complain a lot,” Annalese laughed before bidding you goodbye to get back to work.
Towards the later half of the race, you found yourself at the final corners. A few other photographers were there, all of you aiming to capture the final laps of the Grand Prix.
As the cars roared past, you focused intently on capturing the action, your camera clicking in quick succession. While your focus was on the two cars in red, you could help but to capture a few photos of your roommates for the weekend as they drove past.
To no surprise, Max had crossed the finish line first. You were able to get a few shots of him from a distance, as there were literally no other cars remotely close to him. As neither of the Ferrari boys finished on the podium, you made your way back to the garage, where you found Isabella looking at her camera.
She looked up as you approached, as if she felt your presence. “Was your race as boring as mine?” she asked
You nodded, “Yeah, the best shot I got was of this cool looking bird that landed on the railing during lap 65”
Isabella laughed, shaking her head “At least you got something. All I got was the pit wall’s collective frustration”
“Well that’s their own doing” you chuckled. “I did manage to get a shot or two of Max weaving around the Anthony Nodges curve. The team is gonna have to pay big bucks for them though”
“Oh yeah, they’d totally do that” Isabella said, sarcasm dripping from her words.
You glanced down pit lane at the celebration of Max and his team. Laughter and cheers echoed all the way down the straight, with the Dutch Anthem soon to follow.
“Are you going to the after party?” Isabella asked, forcing you to tear your gaze away from the commotion.
You shook your head, “Nah, it’s gonna be total chaos out there. I have a bottle of wine and photo editing calling my name”
“I get it. I guess you can kinda go out whenever ‘cause you live here” she said “I’m excited to see what the nightlife is finally like.”
“Oh it’s fun.” you emphasized “Knowing Max, you guys will probably end up at either Jimmy’z or Sass Cafe. Just be careful. You never know what the guys are gonna get into”
With one last glance at the festivities down the pit, you said goodbye to your coworker and headed out.
======
Max needed that win badly. He needed the win to prove he was the best. He needed the win to prove to himself he was better than some American on the grid.
But more importantly, Max craved the after party. The wild celebrations, the loud music, the flashing lights - anything and everything to help him escape the pressure. He needed to forget the win, forget the American, and especially forget you.
Just like you predicted, Max found himself and the rest of the party at Jimmy’z. The club was alive, a whirlwind of energy and sound that enveloped him the second he stepped inside. The bass pulsed through his body, drowning out most of the doubts and expectations of the weekend.
Except no matter how many drinks he had, the thoughts of Logan in your apartment still lingered. The image of both of you together, the laughter, the easy intimacy - it was a ghost that haunted him. Every beat of the music seemed to echo the sound of your door closing, with Logan inside.
What made it worse was that neither of you were at the party. Every time he glanced around, he hoped to find you in the crowd, only to be met with a sea of unfamiliar faces. Max knew you were always hit or miss when going out, but he assumed since it was in a place you were familiar with, you’d be joining.
As the night wore on, he pushed through the crowd, seeking distractions in drunken laughter and loud cheers, but the absence of you and Logan loomed larger. Each moment of joy was tainted by the feeling of something missing, a void he couldn’t ignore. A hole that needed to be filled.
He started by surrounding himself with his friends. Lando had just gotten done mixing a set and was leaving the dj booth when Max found him.
“There you are, mate!” Lando said over the booming music, his face lit up with excitement. “You like the mix?”
“Yeah, it was great,” Max said, nodding slightly. The music had been the last thing on his mind.
“Thanks, it’s brand new” Lando continued, completely oblivious to the fact Max wasn’t listening. The Brit spotted the empty glass in Max’s hands prompting his face to light up again. “Next round is on me”
Max didn’t have the time to argue as Lando made his way to the bar. Max followed, weaving in and out of the crowd, only to be handed a shot by his friend.
The two men clinked the glasses before tapping them on the table and putting them to their mouths. Max downed the shot quickly, the burn a welcome distraction.
“Congrats on the win again,” Lando said. Max barely muttered out a “thanks”, and for the first time that night, Lando’s happy-go-lucky disposition changed. “You doing alright, mate?”
“Yeah, just tired” he replied, hoping Lando would drop the topic and move on
Lando studied him for a moment, concern creeping into his expression. “No you’re not.” his eyes narrowed, as if he was zeroing in on the problem. “You’re still mad about y/n and Logan, aren’t you?”
“What? No.” He scoffed. Lando gave him a knowing look. Max’s shoulders slumped in defeat “Yeah”
Lando’s expression softened. “You’ve got to let it go, Max. You can’t let this ruin your night. Celebrate your win!”
Max ran a hand through his hair, frustration slowly bubbling up to the surface. “It’s not that easy, mate. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t help it.”
“Look,” Lando said, leaning in closer, his voice serious. “You’re going to have a million nights sulking. You can’t keep carrying this around with you. Enjoy the moment. Let loose. Go find some girl to entertain you for the night.”
Max let out a sharp laugh, though it lacked any real humor. “You think some random girl is gonna fix this?”
“Maybe not fix, but it could help take your mind off things for the night.” Lando shrugged, handing him a glass filled with god knows what
Max stared at the drink in his hands, the ice clinking against the glass as if mocking him. Lando’s words hung in the air, and he could feel the weight of the night pressing down on him. It was true - he needed a distraction, something to pull him out of the spiral of thoughts that had haunted him since he saw Logan enter your apartment.
His eyes scanned the crowd, looking for a girl who could fill the void that you unknowingly left. At the edge of the dance floor, Max caught the gaze of a small brunette. He quickly chugged his drink, placing the empty glass on the bar.
“I’ll see you around” Max said to Lando before making his way back through the crowd
Max pushed through the mass of bodies, the bass pulsing with each step he took. As he approached the brunette, he felt a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. She was laughing with her friends, her smile bright and infectious, but he couldn’t shake the feeling in his gut.
“Hey” he said, leaning in slightly so he could be heard over the music. She turned, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him.
“Hey! You’re Max right?” She asked, the driver nodding in response “Congrats on the win today”
“Thanks, I appreciate it” He said, a genuine smile creeping on his face for the first time tonight. He couldn’t lie, the girl’s energy was infectious.
The two of them quickly found themselves intertwined with each other, the beat of the music driving every movement. Max felt the tension in his chest ease as they danced, the thoughts of you slowly fading away.
Meanwhile, you, Logan and Oscar had made yourselves comfortable in your living room. The sound of the Cars movie filled the background as the three of you split a bottle of red wine. Your laptop sat on the coffee table as you edited the photos from the day, constantly being interrupted by one of the guys.
You adjusted your position on the couch, leaning back into the cushions as you sipped your wine. The warmth of the red liquid relaxed you, contrasting with the lively banter between Logan and Oscar. The American was to your right on the couch, his arm resting behind you, just close enough for you to bump into it whenever you moved. Oscar on the other hand was sprawled on the floor, claiming he needed to stretch.
“Hey, can you pause that for a second?” Logan asked, looking over your shoulder. “I wanna see those pics from earlier.”
You looked at the laptop, filled with candid shots from today’s adventures at the track. “Sure.” you said, hitting pause and turning the screen to face him.
Logan leaned in, close enough for you to get a wave of his cologne. “These are sick. We need to get you over to Williams next season”
“Yeah, good luck trying to get Annalese to agree to that” you chuckled
Oscar made his way off of the floor over to the other side of the couch. “You should post that photo of Max going around turn 19. It’s really good”
You smiled at the thought, but still your stomach twisted. It wouldn’t be the first time you posted Max, but you didn’t want the fans to get the wrong idea.
“Yeah, I might” you replied, forcing your focus back to the photos. “I just want to make sure I have the right ones picked out.”
The three of you set back into a comfortable rhythm, sipping wine and tossing comments about the movie. But every time you caught a glimpse of the photos of Max, your mind wandered back to him, and the party you were missing out on.
“Are you alright?” Oscar asked suddenly, catching the shift in your demeanor
You forced a smile, maybe a bit too big to be genuine “Yeah, just thinking about the shots”
Oscar raised an eyebrow, not convinced with your answer “Thinking about Max?”
You sighed, looking down at the photo of the navy blue car, the cursor hovering directly over the cockpit. “Yeah” you sighed “Kind of wishing I went out with them”
“Are we that boring?” Logan asked, his voice dripping in pretend hurt
“Of course not” you said, “Just not everyday you get to celebrate a Grand Prix”
“You’re right, it’s only almost every weekend” Oscar said, your eyes rolling in response
As the movie continued, you tried pushing the thoughts aside and immersing yourself in the present. For now, you could enjoy this night, even if part of your mind was still on Max, hoping he was finding his own way to celebrate.
Your thoughts were cut off by the sound of your apartment door jolting. The sound was far from a knock. It was much more demanding, as if the cause was trying to force itself into your place. You exchanged glances with the two boys on your couch before you got up to investigate.
As you approached the door, your heart raced with curiosity. You glanced back at Logan and Oscar, who looked equally as intrigued, their laughter from the movie fading into silence.
You opened the door, just enough to get a peak who was behind it. On the other side stood a disheveled Max. He was slightly out of breath, the unmistakable scent of a party lingered on his lips. His apartment key was in his hand, and his focus on the lock on your door.
“Max,” you spoke, causing the Dutchman to look up, his expression shifting from confusion to recognition. “What are you-”
Before you could finish your sentence, an unmistakable voice filled the hall “Y/n!”
Your head snapped to the source of the voice, your eyes widening as you made eye contact with a certain brunette. The reality of the moment crashed over you as you glanced back at Max, whose focus was now fully on you. The tension in the air was palatable.
“Isabella” you whispered, choosing your next words carefully, a knot forming in your stomach. “What are you doing here?”
“Max invited me over!” she exclaimed, the same intoxicating scent wafting off her tongue. “I didn’t realize you two live together.”
“We don’t” you clarified, trying to keep your voice steady. “I live here. Max lives across the hall. Isn’t that right, Max?”
The tension thickened, his cheeks pink with embarrassment as he slowly processed the mistake, “Right” he agreed, turning to your coworker. “I live right there,” he said, pointing to his own door across the hall.
Suddenly, footsteps echoed behind you, halting the uncomfortable situation. Max’s eyes widened, taking in the presence behind you as the warmth of a hand rested on your waist.
“Is everything alright?” Logan spoke from behind you, his voice cutting through the tension.
“Yeah” you replied as your tone grew harsher. Your focus was still locked on Max. “Max here just happened to forget which apartment is his. I was just helping him get the correct one. Right Max?”
Max swallowed hard, his gaze moving to the hand resting on your body. “Right” he repeated, turning to Isabella and taking her hand as he stepped back.
As you closed the door, a groan escaped your lips, the frustration finally bubbling to the surface. Logan and Oscar exchanged glances, curious about what just transpired.
“What was that all about?” Oscar asked, now sprawled out on the couch
“Honestly, I have no idea” You sighed, running your hands through your hair in exasperation “It’s like he completely lost his mind”
“Max took home Isabella and thought y/n’s apartment was his” Logan clarified, a hint of disbelief in his voice.
“Oh” the Aussie said, finally sitting up, a look of realization crossing his face “I guess the good thing about this is that you finally know how he feels?” he suggested, an awkward smile on his face.
Both you and Logan gave Oscar a glare that would wipe out an entire country.
Oscar raised his hands in mock surrender, laughing nervously “Alright, alright. Just trying to lighten the mood.”
======
Sunlight streamed through Max’s curtains signaling that the day was beginning. The night before felt like a distant memory, a surreal blend of laughter and reckless abandon that danced just beyond his grasp. He squinted against the bright light, wincing at the pounding in his head confirmed the reality of it all.
Shifting slightly, Max felt the weight of his body pressing into the sheets, sticky and tangled from the heat of the night. The remnants of conversations echoed in his mind - the mix of playful banter and hints of something deeper. He couldn’t shake the feeling that the night had changed something, but he wasn’t quite ready to piece it together.
With a groan, he pushed himself up, the world spinning slightly as he took a moment to gather his thoughts. He glanced around the room, still a bit disoriented. Photos of races and trophies adorned the walls, reminders of his life as a driver, but it was the incessant buzzing of his phone that caught his attention.
Reaching for it, he noticed the screen lit up with a message. As he unlocked it, confusion flooded his head when he saw Isabella’s name flash across the screen. He had no recollection of her evening giving him her number.
Isabella: Had a great time last night! See you in Spain ;)
Max’s eyes snapped wide as the reality of the night before settled in. The conversation with Lando, the way Isabella had danced, and then the moment he’d invited her back to his place. But more vividly, he recalled you opening the door, the surprise on your face, and Logan’s hand on your waist, pulling you closer.
His heart raced as he pieced together the details. Had he really invited Isabella back to his place after everything that had unfolded? How did the night spiral in ways he never anticipated? What had felt so carefree now felt tangled and complicated.
He shot Isabella a half hearted text saying that he enjoyed the evening too, before setting his phone down, anxiety gnawing at him. Max knew he messed up. Big time. He hadn’t just blurred the lines with Isabella; he’d torched any chance of something real with you
Taking a deep breath, he raked a hand through his hair, trying to shake off the fog. He needed to talk to you, to set everything straight. But how could he explain everything without sounding completely insane? “Hey! I slept with your coworker trying to get over the massive crush I have on you because I think you’re sleeping with Logan.” wouldn’t sit well with you at all.
He thought about going over and knocking on your door to apologize for his actions, but didn’t want to risk running into Logan again. Sending a text seemed too casual for the weight of what he wanted to say.
But then the debate of whether or not he even should say anything crossed his mind. What if you didn’t care? What if you were happily enjoying your relationship? The thought made his stomach churn, the fear of rejection eventually winning him over.
Spielberg, Austria
You had avoided Max in Spain and Canada, dodging him at every turn. Whether it was ducking behind a stack of tires again, or taking the long way around the paddock to avoid walking past the Energy Station, you hadn’t seen Max, and Max hadn’t seen you.
Isabella was harder to avoid, being coworkers after all. Thankfully, she seemed to get the hint that you didn’t want to interact, minding her business and spending most of her time in Carlos’ garage.
It was media day in Austria, and while the drivers were in their briefings and press conferences, you had made yourself comfortable in the Ferrari pit. The buzz of the paddock felt familiar and comforting, a stark contrast to the tangled emotions you had been wrestling with.
The mechanics and engineers moved around you as you sat on your skateboard, using it to glide down the concrete to capture pit stop practice. The sounds of chatter and clanking filled the air, creating a symphony of activity that kept your mind occupied. You snapped photos of the team, capturing the precision and teamwork that made their pitstops efficient.
As you worked, the sound of laughter caught your attention. You looked around, trying to find the culprit, but you wished you hadn’t. Max was in the Red Bull pit, surrounded by a few team members. He looked relaxed, a stark contrast to how you felt.
Your heart raced at the sight of him, and instinct kicked in. You shifted your focus back to your camera, trying to suppress the mixed feelings inside.
“Are you alright, tesoro?” One of the mechanics asked, causing you to jump
You looked up, forcing a smile. “Yeah, just a little distracted.”
“Is Max causing you trouble?” he asked, a teasing glint in his eye
You laughed softly, trying to downplay it “You could call it that. Just stupid paddock drama”
The mechanic nodded knowingly, a sympathetic expression on his face. “I know how it is. May I ask what happened?”
You hesitated, weighing your options. What is spoken about in Ferrari usually stays in Ferrari. But it doesn’t help when part of the problem is also in Ferrari.
“It’s complicated” you finally said, glancing back at Max who was too busy yapping to one of his team members to notice you staring. “We were… close, but he took someone home after Monaco that I wasn’t expecting.”
As if on cue, Max bid goodbye to his mechanics, turning towards the Ferrari garages. Your breath caught in your throat, and you quickly looked away, focusing back on your camera. You felt a rush of anxiety wash over you.
“He’s coming this way” the mechanic observed “Maybe he’ll come and say hi”
“Doubt it” you mumbled
Sure enough, the driver walked straight past you and the mechanic, his pace not faltering in the slightest. He stopped in front of Carlos’ garage, a smile grew on his face as he spotted someone inside. Moments later, Isabella emerged from the garage, embracing Max in a hug.
Your stomach twisted as you watched the scene unfold. The warmth of their interaction felt like a punch to the gut, but you couldn’t get yourself to turn away. You could feel the mechanic’s gaze shift between you and the unfolding moment, his expression a mix of concern and curiosity.
“Looks like they’re close” he said quietly, trying to gauge your reaction
You forced a laugh, though it felt hollow “Yeah, you can say that”
Isabella leaned in to say something to Max, his laugh rang out, carefree and easy. Jealousy couldn’t help but bubble up as you recalled his visits to your side of the garage only a season prior. The way he joked with you, the late-night run-ins in the paddock that felt so special. Now it all felt so distant, a ghost of what had been.
“Come on, let’s get you in the car to get some different angles” the mechanic offered, noticing your shift in demeanor “I think there’s a wrench somewhere around here you can throw at him”
Your laugh was genuine for the first time at the thought of knocking out the driver with the metal tool. “Don’t tempt me with a good time.” You said as you stood up from your skateboard.
On the other side of the Ferrari pit, Max opted to give Isabella a chance. He told himself he couldn’t spend the rest of his life waiting around for you, the uncertainty of your feelings pushed him more towards her. Late nights and quick favors between the two of you were just signs of friendship, he reasoned.
Still, he could feel your eyes on him as he talked with Isabella, and it took everything in him not to look over. However, conversation with her felt natural, laughter coming out easily, just as it did with you. Maybe, just maybe, the void you left could be filled.
======
The weekend continued with Max popping up randomly in Carlos’ garage. It irritated you to no extent that you couldn’t predict when he’d appear, giving yourself a taste of what everyone else felt last season. He seemed to have a knack for showing up right when you got into a groove, your focus sharp and your shots framed perfectly.
On Saturday afternoon, you were deep in concentration, capturing the mechanics as they fine-tuned Carlos’ car, when you caught a glimpse of Max out of the corner of your eye. He leaned casually against the wall, chatting with a few of Carlos’ crew members, laughter spilling from his lips. It felt like a dagger to your gut - so effortless, so carefree.
You clenched your jaw, trying to focus on your work. The work you shouldn’t even be doing, but Isabella was MIA. Knowing the content needed to be out sooner rather than later, you stepped in. But now, you were regretting your choices.
With every burst of laughter from Max, your heart sank deeper. You shifted your position, framing a shot of Carlos as he animatedly discussed tire strategy, but your mind kept shifting back to Max. Why did he have to be here, looking so at ease, while you felt like you were drowning in confusion?
“Hey, are you alright?” Annalese appeared beside you, her voice cutting through your spiral of thoughts
You forced a nod, your gaze still locked on Max “Yeah, just doing a little extra work”
At the sound of your voice, Max’s head turned. His eyes met yours, and suddenly you felt like you were going to puke. As quick as he made eye contact, you broke it, turning back to the car in front of you.
“Right. Just work.” Annalease said, raising an eyebrow
You sighed, your next words quieter than before “I just don’t get why he’s here”
Confusion crossed on your boss’s face, “Who? Max?”
“Yeah, I mean Isabella isn’t even here” you added
“What does that have to do with anything?” She asked, genuinely puzzled
You turned your head to look at Annalese, genuine surprise on your face. “No one told you? I thought once it hit the mechanics, they’d be telling everyone”
You recounted the night in Monaco, just quiet enough so the Dutchman wouldn’t hear from the garage entrance. With every added detail, Annalese’s emotions switched from confusion, to anger, then finally settled on pure pity.
“I can’t believe he just waltzed in here after that” Annalese said, her voice low, eyes narrowed at Max as he laughed again with the crew. “That’s… seriously messed up”
You nodded, feeling a weight settle in your chest. “Right? It’s like he thinks he can just pretend everything is fine, that nothing happened.”
“People are complicated” she reminded “But that doesn’t mean he gets a free pass to show up here, especially with Isabella missing. It’s just inconsiderate”
“I’m just trying to get this content done, then going back over to Charles’ side of the garage” you said, frustration peeking through your words “But every time I see him, I lose my focus. It’s like he’s some kind of distraction.”
“Maybe he is” Annalese muttered “But you need to take care of yourself first”
You watched as Max leaned in closer to one of the mechanics, his smile wide and disarming. “Easier said than done,” you muttered. “Every time I look at him, I remember that night. I can’t just turn that off.”
“Then don’t” Annalese’s tone shifted, more supportive now. “Use it. Capture what you’re feeling. It could make for some powerful content.”
“Powerful?” you asked, skepticism creeping in.
“Raw. Real. People want to see the truth behind the glitz and glam of racing. If you’re feeling something, channel that into your work.”
Taking a deep breath, you focused on Carlos again, his passion lighting up the garage. You adjusted your lens, trying to frame the chaos, the energy, the underlying tension. Maybe if you captured that, it would help clear the fog.
But just as you were starting to find your rhythm again, you heard Max’s voice cut through the air, directing some joke at you. His words were quickly replaced by the sound of your camera shutter, capturing the moment between the Dutchman and the Spaniard.
You pressed the playback button, getting a look at what you just shot. The mechanics moving around the garage framed the two drivers in the photo, but what truly caught your eye was the growing tension on Max’s face with each camera click. Looking up from your camera, you could see why.
Logan had joined Max and Carlos, his presence instantly shifting the atmosphere. Logan was usually easy going, getting along with the rest of the grid, but as he talked, you could see Max’s confident demeanor crack just a bit. It was refreshing to see the two time world champion falter, but you couldn’t understand how a rookie was the reason.
======
To the surprise of absolutely no one, Max crossed the finish line far before anyone else. Charles and Logan followed behind, completing the podium. While you were thankful that Charles did well, you weren’t looking forward to seeing Max on the top step for the fifth race in a row.
You trudged over to parc ferme, just as Max was pulling up the car. Thankfully, he was too busy getting out of the car and celebrating with his team to see you with Charles. Clicks of the camera filled the air as Charles got out of the car, throwing up two fingers as he walked over to you, his eyes crinkling through his helmet.
“Congrats!” You said, moving the camera from your face, revealing a grin
“Thank you, thank you.” He replied, embracing you in a quick hug before going to congratulate the other drivers on their finishes.
You snapped a few photos of Charles talking with Logan, both guys animatedly gesturing their experiences on the track. As Charles moved to Max, Logan turned his attention to you, his smile beaming brighter than before.
“Congrats Logan!” you practically yelled as you ran over to your friend
He engulfed you in a bear hug, squeezing you slightly. “Thank you, y/n. I can’t believe it’s the first one”
“First of hopefully many to come” you replied as you separated from him. “You deserve it Logan, you’ve earned it”
You didn’t know Max was watching you as you continued your conversation with Logan. He didn’t want you to know he analyzed every inch of your face as your emotions changed. He didn’t want you to know that you had the same look on your face that you did in the hotel in Baku. He didn’t want you to know that he knew that you were in love with Logan.
You glanced over your shoulder, checking to see if Charles was doing anything photo worthy, only to get a glimpse of Max with his team. He had his eyes on you already, the look in his eye sent a mix of confusion and annoyance through you. He shouldn’t be looking. His fling was twenty feet away in the other direction, also donning Ferrari red.
Thankfully, the three drivers were forced through the post race interviews and to the cooldown room before you snapped on Max for staring. You found yourself a spot under the podium, perfect for capturing photos of your two friends as they celebrated. Isabella squeezed in to your left, a lovestruck smile on her face.
“Good race, wasn’t it?” you spoke, trying to be as friendly as you could
She nodded enthusiastically, impatiently waiting for the Dutchman to come out. “Absolutely! I mean he just dominated out there!”
You nodded, unsure of what to say in response. Annalese was to your right, giving you someone else to talk to as you waited. The two of you chatted for a bit until you lifted your camera again, getting shots of Logan and Charles as they walked out.
Letting Isabella stand next to you was a bad idea. The second Max walked out, his eyes were glued in your direction. You knew he was looking at her. There was no doubt about that. But for him to get all smiley and crinkly eyed while looking near you? It made you sick.
“Can they just play the damn song and move on?” You muttered to Annalese, causing her to burst out in laughter during the trophy presentation.
“You’ll be back in your hotel soon, don’t worry” Annalese reassured
Marina Bay, Singapore
It was no secret that Carlos was having a hell of a weekend. He already topped the free practice sessions, and took pole position, which sent excitement rippling through the Ferrari garage. The energy in the air was palpable with hope and anticipation as the team prepared for the race.
So far, most of your weekend was spent running back and forth between the two red terminals, much to your dismay. Coming into the weekend, you were under the impression you would only be with Charles, but a certain brunette went missing for randomly long periods of time yet again.
“Have you seen Isabella?” Annalese asked as she walked into Carlos’ garage
“If I did, do you think I’d be here?” You retorted, not breaking your concentration on the shot you lined up. Carlos was in deep conversation with his engineers, the intensity of the moment reflected in his face.
You didn’t have to look to know Annalese rolled her eyes “Fair point. Do you know where she’s been? This is the third time today.”
“My money is Red Bull” you answered “Y’know, with the two of them sucking each other’s faces off for the past few months.”
Annalese chuckled, shaking her head “I did not need that image in my head. But she needs to get her act together. I can’t have one of my photographers slacking and spending time in a rival garage.”
“Tell that to her, not me” you muttered, turning your attention back to Carlos, who was now finishing up with his team.
“Yeah, you’re at least quick with your trips down to Williams”
Once again, you tore your focus from your camera to focus on your boss. Your eyebrows furrowed as you took in her words. “What do you mean? I’m rarely down there.”
It was Annalese’s turn to be confused “Oh I thought with you and Logan-.”
“What? Oh no. Logan and I aren’t - we’re just good friends” you clarified
“Oh, my bad. I’ve seen you and Logan together a lot recently. I thought something was starting” Annalese apologized.
“You’re all good. But after everything with Max, I think I’ve sworn off liking drivers” you said “They’re too much for me.”
“Fair enough” Annalese replied, her tone turning more serious as she watched Carlos. “Just keep an eye on Isabella. If she’s going to be absent, I need to know so I can plan accordingly. Carlos’ photos aren’t your responsibility.”
“Yeah, I’ll keep an eye out for her” you said
As the sunset in the sky and the race drew nearer, the energy in both of the Ferrari garages grew. You were in Charles’ garage, capturing the last moments before the cars went out on track. Just as you were about to make your way out to the track, you noticed Isabella finally striding in, a flustered look on her face.
“Look what the cat dragged in” you called, getting Isabella’s attention. “Where have you been?”
“Long story, but I got some great shots in the Red Bull garage” she replied, slightly out of breath and a sheepish grin forming on her face.
It took every bone in your body not to storm down to the Red Bull garages and give Max a piece of your mind then and there. Instead, you pushed the thoughts to the back of your mind. There was a job to be done.
You exchanged a look with Annalese, who raised an eyebrow. “Alright, just don’t let it happen again.” she said “We need all hands on deck everyday.”
“Trust me, it won’t.” Isabella assured, her tone more serious now. “I won’t get distracted again”
Isabella made her way to the back of the garage, presumably to change out her SD cards. As you watched, you couldn’t help but wonder what caused the sudden shift. And you wouldn’t be surprised if Max was somehow linked to it.
======
As everyone hoped, Carlos ended up on the top step of the podium, completing his weekend sweep. Everyone in red was on cloud nine, and for the first time since Azerbaijan, you didn’t hear your country’s national anthem.
The celebrations in the paddock were long done for the day as you made your way out of the Ferrari motorhome. You didn’t wrap up until late into the night, so you were expecting to be the only one still left, but to your surprise, a familiar Dutchman was also still around.
You don’t know if it was the amount of champagne you accidentally ingested during the celebrations, or if it was Isabella’s actions earlier, but something within you caused you to speak.
“Fancy seeing you here” you said, trying to keep your tone light despite the swirl of emotions inside you. Max was leaning against the wall of the Energy Station, a bottle of water in hand, looking at something on his phone.
He glanced up, surprise flashing across his face for a second before returning to his normal indifferent stare. “Hey. Congrats on the win”
Your eyebrows furrowed in fake confusion as you stopped next to him “What did I win? I just took photos”
“You know what I mean” Max mumbled, rolling his eyes, though a small smirk formed on his lips “But Carlos looked really strong, he deserved the win, and the celebration.”
“Oh he’s getting every bit of celebration he can. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard Smooth Operator today” you chuckled, the memory of the Spaniard dancing to the music replaying in your head.
Awkward tension hung in the air, neither of you sure what to say next. You looked around the dim paddock, for any idea of a talking point. It wasn’t until you noticed the darkness in the Energy Station that you spoke again. “What’re you even still doing here?”
“Just unwinding after a long day. Needed the extra time to get out. You know how exhausting this track is” he explained, but by the way he was fiddling with his bottle and refusing to make eye contact, you knew he wasn’t telling the truth.
Your eyes narrowed as you made eye contact with him, a swirl of suspicion and hurt forming in your chest. “You’re waiting for Isabella aren’t you?”
Max paused, his gaze darting away for a moment before meeting your eyes again “I mean, I wouldn’t say I’m specifically waiting for her,” he said, but the slight hesitation in his voice gave it away.
“You know I’m not as dumb as I look, right?” you asked, a small smile forced onto your lips “I know you two are together. I’m happy for you, you deserve it” Your stomach churned as you spoke. Each word felt like a knife twisting deeper, but you couldn’t let him see how much it hurt.
Max’s expression shifted, gratitude and relief mingling in his eyes, only deeping the pain. “Thanks. It’s nice to hear that”
“But you better not steal her from Ferrari any more, Annalese might have your head on a spike” you joked, but a warning tone lingered underneath. Max chuckled slightly, but the tension in his shoulders remained.
“Well she’s an adult, she can make her own decisions” Max shrugged, a hint of definane in his tone, seemingly indifferent to the fact that she only has access to the paddock because of her job.
You crossed your arms as you spoke. “An adult who is employed. She needs to do her job” you countered, your voice firm yet wavering slightly, desperate for him to understand the reality of the situation.
“Oh like you do your job all the time” Max shot back, rolling his eyes with a smirk that felt more like a jab “I’ve seen you running around a lot with Logan. Seems like you have a type.”
Your heart raced, confusion mixing with anger, “Max, what are you talking abou-”
“Don’t play dumb” he interrupted, his expression hardening as the tension grew dramatically “Everyone sees how you act around him.”
You felt your cheeks flush at his words, a mix of embarrassment and irritation flooding through you. “I’m not playing dumb” you shot back, trying to regain control of the conversation. “Logan and I are friends. It’s not my fault he’s actually nice to be around”
“Nice, huh?” Max raised an eyebrow, though his eyes were red with anger “He’s giving you something nice, for sure”
“Are you serious?” you asked, exasperated “You’re really going to stand there and accuse me of sleeping with one of my best friends?”
“I’m not accusing you of anything” he replied, an indifferent mask suddenly plastered on his face, a clear facade that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m just saying you get close to drivers in a way that makes people talk.”
“And it’s just that, Max. It’s just talk. The same stupid rumors that were flown around when you and I were close friends. The same stupid rumors that meant absolutely nothing, because it was just nothing.” you bit back, your voice rising in frustration.
“So you’re saying it’s still nothing?” Max challenged, his tone sharp “You really thought people wouldn’t notice just how cozy you and Logan are? You’re not fooling anyone.”
“Maybe I don’t need to fool anyone” you snapped, pure adrenaline fueling your words “Maybe I’m more comfortable in my friendships with drivers than you are in your relationship with a Ferrari photographer who happens to look like me.”
Max’s expression darkened at your words, a mix of anger and hurt flashing across his face. “That’s low,” he said quietly, the weight of his words hanging heavily in the air.
“Weird, isn’t it? Facing the truth” you said, your voice steadier than you felt, trying to anchor yourself amongst the rising tension.
You took a step away from Max, and then another. The space between you felt charged, like a wire ready to snap. You didn’t want to back down, but your words lingered, creating a chasm between you.
Max’s eyes darted around your face, looking for any signs of an emotion other than anger, only stopping when he saw your lips. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in and kiss you. He wanted to tell you that you were all that he wanted, and no one could ever come close.
But he couldn’t. He was waiting for Isabella.
And you almost wanted it too. You almost wanted him to tell you Isabella meant nothing. That it was all just some silly plan to try and get over you. You almost wanted him to confess he had been madly in love with you since you first reconnected last year.
But he wouldn’t. He was waiting for Isabella.
So, you turned any longing you had left into anger. Your fists clenched, dying to take a swing at the man in front of you. You wanted to show just how much pain he caused you through his actions, through his words.
But you shouldn’t. You would lose your job if you did.
And so, you walked away. You unclenched your fist, and walked away. Each step echoed the unresolved mess. The night air was cool against your skin, but inside, there was a mixture of liberation and lingering frustration. Though you said what needed to be said, the ache of unspoken feelings still hung in the air, heavy in your chest as you left him behind.
Austin, USA
The events of the Japan and Qatar Grand Prixs were nearly identical: Charles qualifying within the top five, having a strong start, a poor strategy messing up his race, and hearing the Dutch National Anthem in the distance. It didn’t help that to top it all off, Red Bull had secured the Constructors Championship and Max had secured the Driver’s Championship with ease. The team needed a morale booster, and Austin was the place to try and do it.
“I feel absolutely ridiculous” you said as you stood in the paddock entrance, waiting to capture Charles’ arrival for media day.
He had convinced you to go all out with him and dress up for media day. Your hair was folded into two braids, and a cowboy hat rested on your head. A red bandana was tied around your neck, matching the bright red Ferrari polo that was hiding under your jean jacket. You glanced at yourself in the reflection of a nearby window, half-amused and half-embarrassed.
“What’re you talking about? You look amazing” Annalese teased “You fit in with the locals”
Your eyes scanned the area, only to find absolutely no one dressed like you. “Yeah, because the locals are dressed like a walking cliche” you muttered
“Okay you don’t look that ridiculous” she said “Plus, Charles definitely needs the boost”
As if on cue, you heard the beep of a paddock pass being scanned. Looking to the gates, Charles was walking through the turnstiles, donning a black cowboy hat, black bandana, and dark blue jean jacket.
“There’s my partner in crime!” He called as you captured a few photos of him walking up to you, a goofy grin plastered on his face. “You look amazing”
“Thanks” you replied, slight embarrassment still in your voice “I do feel a bit silly”
“At least you’re not the one in front of the camera” Charles chuckled.
Annalese and yourself walked with Charles down the paddock towards the media areas. To no surprise, all eyes were on the driver as he walked with such confidence. Fans and staff alike had their attention on Charles. Thankfully, any worry about looking ridiculous washed away as the three of you joked your way through the paddock.
After a quick stop in the Ferrari motorhome, the three of you finally made it to the media pen. A few of the other drivers were already there, including the Alpine boys, and Max. For it being early in the morning, the atmosphere was lively, as reporters were prepping their questions.
You and Annalese hung towards the back of the pen, being sure not to get in any of the drivers' ways as they approached the barriers. As Charles and Max talked to the media, you watched intently, each of the boys differed with how they answered the long list of questions.
Charles, as always, had an easygoing charm, answering each question with a relaxed but thoughtful demeanor. He was clearly comfortable in the media spotlight, using humor to deflect some of the tougher questions while staying focused on the bigger picture for Ferrari.
Across the pen was Max, who was standing a little more rigidly, with his arms crossed, answering questions with that signature confidence that was almost always tinged with a bit of confidence. Even though both championships were already on lock, there was no sign of complacency in his posture.
A reporter threw him a question about the team’s performance, and Max’s response was sharp and succinct. “We’ve done what we’ve needed to do this season. It’s been a solid year, and I’m happy with the results. But we’re always looking to improve, even when things are going well.”
His tone was calm, but there was an underlying intensity that you knew too well. Sure, you had heard it time and time again in his interviews, but it was also the same intensity you heard in Singapore. It was the same bitterness and anger that was bubbling under the surface.
Max knew you were mere feet behind him. He knew you could hear every single word he was saying. He knew you dressed in that stupid little cowgirl outfit so Charles wouldn’t be the only one in the paddock looking ridiculous, but god did you pull it off.
As his interview wrapped up, you saw how Max’s eyes flickered danced around the room scanning it before landing on you. There was a slight glint in his eyes, almost telling that he was aware of everything - the outfit, the mood, the tension, and maybe even the unspoken distance between you two. And when his gaze met yours, the glint disappeared. There was no warmth, no acknowledgement - just a cold, unreadable look.
You shifted your feet, suddenly very aware of the hat perched on your head and the bandana around your neck. You’d done this for Charles. Just for Charles.
“Everything alright?” Annalese asked, noticing your stiff posture. You hadn’t realized you’d tensed up until she spoke.
“Yeah, just Max is… being Max.” You didn’t elaborate. There wasn’t much else to say.
Max was always intense with the media, but today it felt like something else - something deeper than just the team. Maybe it was the contrast between his icy exterior and the warmth of Charles, or maybe it was his sheer competitiveness, which never seemed to wane. But it felt almost like he was throwing down a silent challenge.
Annalese raised an eyebrow, “Max still has a way of making everything seem personal, huh?”
“Yeah” you couldn’t seem to hide the bitterness in your voice. Personal wasn’t the word you would have chosen, but it was close enough. The fact that he could unsettle you with a glance, that he could turn something as simple as an interview into a moment of quiet conflict, was maddening.
But you didn’t have time to dwell on it. Charles was finishing up his own interview now, his easygoing smile still in place, though you could see the familiar exhaustion behind it. When you first started with the team, you would be shocked at how tired he got after each interview. But now that you’ve been here for a while, you couldn’t go a day without seeing it.
“Ready to get out of here?” Charles asked, walking over with a lighthearted air, completely oblivious to the tension that seemed to hang around.
“Absolutely” you gave him a quick smile, happy to leave the heavy atmosphere of the media pen behind. But even as you turned to walk with him, a part of you lingered on Max’s last words. We’re always looking to improve, even when things are going well.
======
You honestly weren’t sure how it happened. You were minding your business in the Ferrari motorhome, editing your content from media day when Annalese approached you, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. She knew something you didn’t, and you were about to find out, whether you liked it or not.
“Hey, you free for a second?” she asked, leaning against a doorframe, arms crossed, the usual casual confidence about her.
You looked up from your laptop, blinking a few times as you tried to piece together whether she was being serious or just teasing. “Sure, what’s up?”
She raised an eyebrow, then glanced over her shoulder, making sure no one else was nearby. “So, you’re familiar with Drive to Survive, right?”
“The Netflix show? Yeah. What about it?” you asked, sitting up a little bit more.
Annalese smirked “Well, they’re filming the weekend in Austin. They’ve been bouncing around the teams trying to get some sort of exciting story line.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, confused as to what she was getting at “What does that have to do with me?”
“After talking with a few of us, they learned you do a lot of behind the scenes footage and are good friends with a handful of the guys” she explained “And they were wondering if you’d be willing to be followed around and interviewed for a bit.
You blinked a few times, trying to process what Annalese was saying. “They want me to be on camera?”
She gave you a knowing look, her smirk widening. “Yep. They’re apparently looking for someone with your kind of insight - someone who isn’t just a part of the circus but actually gets the day-to-day stuff. And since you’re always with the drivers and the team, it seemed like a good fit. Plus your following is going to help boost their viewers.”
“And you think this is a good idea?” you asked cautiously, trying to get a read on her expression. “What if it all blows up in my face? Or what if it messes up my work?”
Annalese leaned forward slightly, her expression softening, more earnest now. “Look, I get it. It’s a lot. But think about it. You know I wouldn’t push you into something if I didn’t think you could handle it.”
You hesitated for a long moment, lingering on Annalese’s words. Finally, you let out a deep sigh. “Okay, fine. I’ll do it. But if this all goes to hell, I’m blaming you.”
And that’s how you found yourself sitting in a room in the bowels of the paddock, away from the normal hustle and bustle of the morning of qualifying. You were the only one in a team’s gear, everyone else around you had their clothes embroidered with Netflix, leaving you to be the odd one out.
The lights were bright, and the crew around you looked more prepared for a Hollywood film than a race weekend in Austin. One of the producers had mic’d you up, and was sitting on the other side of the camera from you.
“Okay, y/n. Just state your name, and your role with the team please” She said, a warm smile on her face
“Should I look at you, or look at the camera when I talk?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowing
“Looking at me is perfectly fine” She answered
You nodded, shifting slightly in your seat to try and relax, though the sensation of being under the spotlight was unmistakable. This was real. You were being filmed. There was no turning back now.
Taking a deep breath, your eyes locked on the producer. “I’m y/n l/n, and I’m a photographer and content creator for Scuderia Ferrari. I also do personal content creation on the side.”
The producer gave you a quick thumbs up, and gestured for you to keep going. “Great! Now, just tell us a little bit about your role in the paddock and what a typical weekend looks like for you.”
You thought for a moment before speaking. You walked the producer through your day to day life as best as you could, as no weekend was truly the same. Being a team player and focusing on getting the best shots rolled off your tongue. The more you talked, the more relaxed you got.
The producer seemed to notice, as her smile grew a bit bigger. “Sounds like you’ve got a good handle on it. So, you’re clearly around the drivers a lot. What’s your relationship like with them?”
You couldn’t help but glance at the camera, knowing it would probably capture the slight shift in your expression. Talking about the drivers was… complicated. Max especially. He was still fresh in your mind, after everything that’s happened over the course of the last season and a half. You could feel the familiar unease bubble up, but you kept your tone even.
“Well, I’m lucky enough to work with a few of them closely. Obviously, I spend a lot of time with Charles and Carlos. Charles especially out of the two - he’s always easy to talk to, a real pro, and I think we’ve got a good understanding of how to work together. I’m not in Carlos’ garage as much, but every time I’ve been with him or working with him, he’s been lovely. Both of the guys are real team players.”
The interview continued as you talked about the highs and lows of Formula 1. You rambled about the trials and tribulations of your job, but how they’re all worth it in the long run. The producer asked a little bit about your own personal content creation, and how you’ve been able to get an audience of girls interested and involved in motorsports.
The producer then glanced toward the camera crew, signaling that she was ready for the next phase of filming. “Alright, y/n, you’re doing great. We’re going to switch gears now and get a bit more personal. Is that alright?”
You nodded, though a flicker of uncertainty crossed your mind. Personal? What did she mean by that?
“Of course, what do you need?” you asked, trying to sound relaxed.
The producer tilted her head thoughtfully. “We’ve heard some rumors - nothing too crazy - but we’d love to get your thoughts on what it’s like to be close to the drivers, especially in such a high-stakes environment. How do you manage those relationships?”
A little caught off guard, you instinctively glanced toward the camera before responding, your voice a bit steadier than you felt inside. “I think it’s a balancing act. You want to remain professional, but at the same time, you’re still human. You get to know these guys, you become part of their routine. You seem them under pressure, stressed out, and sometimes you’re right there in the middle of it all.” You paused, letting your thoughts settle. “The pressure can definitely build up. But that’s why it’s important to have boundaries. They’re still my friends, but I’ve got to keep that line between being a colleague and a friend.”
The producer’s eyes glinted, clearly recognizing the deeper meaning in your words. “Sounds like there’s a lot of emotional juggling involved. Does any of it change when you factor in your relationship with Max?”
The question hung in the air like a weight, and you immediately felt your stomach tighten. The last thing you wanted to do was delve into anything personal about Max. It had been a complicated relationship - sometimes friendly, sometimes strained. Right now, you weren’t even sure if you had a relationship with the man. The last thing you wanted was to make it seem like there was anything more there than what everyone already saw on the surface.
You took a deep breath, hoping to keep your composure. “Max… well, Max is an interesting case. He’s always been intense. He’s been that way since grade school. Everything’s always full throttle, all the time - whether it’s racing or his personal life. That kind of energy, that drive, it’s both impressive and a little exhausting. But that’s Max. And I get it, I do. I respect it, even if it’s a bit much at times.”
Part of you knew you had to put on a facade while talking about Max. The world couldn’t know the shitshow that was truly hiding behind the scenes. But the other part of you didn’t need to fake it. Even though you wanted to kick Max into the next dimension, you still had such a respect for him.
The producer jotted down a few notes, clearly intrigued. A smirk then danced on her face as he looked up from her paper, and you knew you were in for something.
“Is it harder to separate the personal and professional sides of your relationship with Max, especially with the public watching?”
Your heart skipped a beat at the question. It felt like the room had just gotten a little bit smaller. The public always wanted something - something they could latch onto, something they could analyze - and Max and yourself were prime targets. The last thing you wanted was to give them any more ammunition.
“I mean there’s definitely noise from the outside - fans, media - everyone has an opinion. And sometimes it’s hard not to let that affect you. So I don’t think it’s harder to separate it with Max, but rather different. With him now being a three time World Champion and to know him so long, it always feels like the whole world is watching every interaction. But at the end of the day, he’s still a Formula 1 driver, and I’m still a photographer. Everyone here is just someone doing their job, and no matter how much the world watches, I have to only focus on what I can control.”
The smirk on the producer’s lips turned into a genuine smile, clearly satisfied with your response. However, her eyes flickered with something else - a sense of realization. She jotted down another note and nodded thoughtfully.
“Alright, I think that gives us a solid idea of where things stand. We’ll be capturing some more dynamics in the paddock, but I really appreciate your openness today, y/n. You handled the interview like a pro. We’ll catch up with you later today and tomorrow to film a bit of you in action.”
You exhaled slowly, glad the conversation had taken a turn away from the more personal aspects. As much as you valued your relationships with all of the drivers, it wasn’t something you were keen on oversharing, especially not in front of the cameras, and especially not about Max.
As you left the room, you felt a slight sense of relief washed over you. The interview was over. The questions had been answered. But something about that last exchange - about Max - lingered in the back of your mind. You weren’t sure if you managed to keep the mask in place completely, but you hoped the world would see it as nothing more than professional boundaries being drawn, not an ongoing emotional tug-of-war.
Doubts quickly swirled in your mind as you walked. Were the boundaries that you set good enough? Was it a mistake to even mention them? Why did everything always have to come back to Max?
There was only one person in the paddock that could soothe your uncertainties. Only one person who knew exactly what to say to make you feel at least a bit better. You made a quick detour past the Ferrari motorhome, your eyes scanning for a certain driver in blue. When you caught sight of him, you darted towards him.
“I’m not taking advantage of you, am I?”
Logan’s head whipped around when he heard your voice, confusion plastered on his face. He blinked, clearly taken aback by your sudden appearance and the directness of your question. For a moment, he stood frozen, his brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of what you’d just said.
“Wait, what?” he finally asked, his voice tinged with a mix of surprise and concern. “What’re you talking about?”
You ran a hand through your hair, wanting to explain yourself without sounding like a total mess. “I just - look. I just finished that interview, and they asked me some stuff about Max, and now I’m spiraling a bit. It’s complicated… you know? The whole thing. And there’s this weird pressure, like I’m walking a fine line, and I’m not sure if I’m doing it right. So I-”
Logan placed a hand on your shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile that calmed you more than you’d like to admit. “You’re not making any sense, but I’m guessing you’re worried what people are going to think, and that Max is going to go ape shit on you again, right?” he said softly, his tone light, but understanding.
You exhaled deeply, “Yeah. I- they asked about Max and I wasn’t prepared for it, and it’s just hard to explain anything without it sounding more personal than it is. I don’t want to give the impression that there’s anything more between us, especially with him and Isabella being a thing or whatever.”
Logan’s expression softened. “Y/n. We both know how the media can twist things, especially with a guy like Max, but I can guarantee you’re not doing anything to give the idea that there’s more than just two people doing their jobs. You’re doing a better job at keeping everything with him private than most.” he said, his voice almost hinting at something.
“What are you talking about?” you asked, confusion now filtering in your tone
“You mean you didn’t see what she posted earlier?” Logan asked, slightly amused
“Logan, I was just in a dark room getting interrogated for forty minutes. I haven’t seen anything.” you reminded him.
He pulled out his phone, tapping on Instagram and finding Isabella's profile. A few months ago, he had mentioned she followed him almost immediately after meeting him in Bahrain. He eventually turned the screen toward you, where a photo of Isabella chatting with Sophie and Jos was posted on her story.
“No way” you finally got out, disbelief dripped in your words. “Catching up with the best!” you read off of the screen.
“Yep. She’s really not shy about it.” Logan replied
Your fingers rubbed against your forehead, trying to process everything that was going on. “I swear she never ceases to amaze me.”
“Right?” he agreed, glancing at his phone once again to check the time. “I’m so sorry but I need to get to the garage before qualifying starts”
You nodded, knowing damn well you should have been in yours about five minutes ago. “All good. I’ll see you around.”
“Oh we'll be texting each other the second the session is done” he chuckled, though you knew he wasn’t kidding “If you ever need to vent, let me know. You know where to find me.”
With one final hug, Logan turned back towards the paddock, making his way to Williams. You watched him go for a moment, feeling strangely grounded, before you continued on your way.
And Logan was right. When qualifying ended, his name was the first one to pop up on your phone.
Monte Carlo, Monaco
The triple header in the Americas could not have gone any worse for Charles. A P3 finish fell between a disqualification and failing to start, but it didn’t come without damage to the car. It was safe to say that Ferrari, along with a few of the other drivers, welcomed the short break before going to Las Vegas.
Thankfully, you hadn’t run into Max and Isabella during the time off. According to her social media, they had also flown back to Monaco for a bit, before they jetted off to Spain. That was fine by you, the further away, the lower the chance for you to see them.
Yourself, along with Logan, Oscar, Alex, Pierre, Alexandra and Kika were in Charles and Alexandra’s apartment. The eight of you often found yourselves there, with most of you living in Monaco already, and Logan and Oscar happy to make the short flight from the UK. Multiple bottles of various alcohols had already been cracked open, and the remnants of beer cans were scattered around.
Charles and Alexandra had made themselves comfortable on their couch, with Alexandra’s hand placed gently on her boyfriend’s thigh. Pierre and Kika were on the loveseat, with Kika playfully tossing her empty seltzer can at Pierre, the aluminum hitting him square in the face. Oscar and Alex were in the kitchen, trying to find another bottle of something to open.
Too many drinks later, you found yourself sitting on the floor, tucked against Logan. The arm that didn’t have a bottle of Corona attached to it was lazily draped over your shoulder while you were nursing the bottom of a seltzer can. You weren’t entirely sure how it happened, but at some point in the evening you had ended up close to him, his side pressed against yours as you both lounged on the floor in the middle of the action.
Logan’s fingers traced the fabric of your shirt as he tilted his head back, watching the others with a half-smile. For the first time in a long time, everything felt…easy. You could feel the weight of everything that had been building up in your mind, the endless questions about boundaries and relationships, the complexities of being so close to this world, and yet trying to stay on the sidelines. For the first time in a while, you weren’t worrying about any of it.
“Are you trying to hypnotize me with your fingers, or is that just how you relax?” you asked lightly, breaking the quiet tension.
Logan’s eyes flicked down to you, and for a split second, you could see the amusement in his gaze before he shrugged, a lazy smile pulling at his lips. “Maybe both” he teased, his thumb moving slightly to catch a stray lock of your hair that had fallen into your face. “Is it working?”
You rolled your eyes, but the soft blush creeping up your neck betrayed you. “I don’t know about hypnotizing, but it’s definitely… distracting” you muttered, trying to keep your voice steady.
Logan chuckled, the sound rich and warm, and leaned back slightly, pulling you closer without a second thought. His body was warm next to yours, his presence now inescapable as his arm tightened slightly around you. “I’ll take that as a compliment” he said, his tone teasing but with a hint of something else - something unspoken, something that lingered between you in the air, neither of you quite acknowledging it fully.
From across the room, you could hear Oscar and Alex laughing about something in the kitchen, their voices rising above the clinking of glass and the low chatter. Pierre and Kika were now in the middle of an exaggerated argument over who ate the last potato chip in the bag. Charles and Alexandra were in hushed conversation as their eyes glanced at the movie playing on the TV.
You knew Logan. Knew the easygoing confidence that he wore like a second skin. And still, there was something different about the way he was acting tonight Something that made you feel a little unsure. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the other way around. Perhaps it wasn’t him that had changed, but you, starting to notice the things you’d pushed aside for far too long.
Logan’s chuckle seemed to vibrate through you, warm and low, a sound you could feel more than hear. His voice broke the calm tension again, pulling you out of your thoughts. “You’re being quiet now. That’s not like you.”
You shifted a little, suddenly aware of the limited space between you, of how easy it was to let the moment carry on. “Just thinking” you muttered, trying to keep the conversation light, to keep things from tipping into something more serious.
“About what?” His voice was softer now, more curious than teasing. He didn’t let his arm move away from your shoulder, not yet, like it was the easiest thing in the world to have you close.
You hesitated. You could feel the question pushing down on you, the debate of how much of your inner world you were willing to share right now. Was it too soon? Or was it that Logan, of all people, made it easier to be honest than you’d ever let yourself be?
“It’s just…” you sighed, running a hand through your hair, feeling slightly embarrassed for not letting go of everything, like you usually would when it came to Max. But maybe that was the problem. You weren’t with Max right now. “I’m not sure anymore… where I stand with all of this. With… well, everything”
Logan paid close attention, his usual relaxed demeanor replaced with something more attuned, more patient. His gaze was softer than it had been before. “You mean with Max? And everything that’s been happening with him and Isabella?”
You nodded, your eyes fixed on the can in your hands, unwilling to meet his gaze just yet. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel like I’m caught in the middle of something I never asked to be a part of.” you admitted
Logan didn’t say anything at first, just watched you quietly, but you could see the gears turning behind his eyes. His thumb brushed against your skin again, the contact reassuring, grounding. “You’re not caught in the middle. You just care too much about things that aren’t yours to fix.” His tone was gentle, but there was something firm underneath it, like he was trying to make sure you understood. “You don’t have to be the one who sorts everything out. Sometimes things just… unfold on their own.”
You glanced up at him then, unsure of what you were expecting, but the steadiness of his gaze made you feel lighter somehow. Like maybe he had a point.
The sound of glass clanking and a chorus of yells brought you back to reality. You and Logan were the only ones left in the living room, as the other four joined Oscar and Alex in the kitchen.
“I feel like we should go check that out,” you said, standing up from the floor.
Logan agreed, and the two of you made your way into the kitchen. When you stepped inside, the scene in front of you was just as chaotic as you expected. Oscar was holding up a bottle of tequila triumphantly, while Alex and Pierre were in the midst of arguing about if the liquor was “actually drinkable”. Charles was going through his cabinets, trying to find something as Kika and Alexandra were to the side, laughing as they shook their heads.
You approached the counter, with Logan following suit. As you rested yourself against the cool granite, you felt the warmth of Logan’s body against your back and one of his hands resting on your waist. Kika and Alexandra exchanged glances before raising their eyebrows at you. In response, you shrugged, not wanting to draw any more attention to the driver that was glued to you.
However, the girls would not let it go. As Logan got wrapped up in the boy’s shenanigans, Kika and Alexandra pulled you into one of the guest rooms.
“What is going on?” Kika asked, a drunken giggle coming out of her mouth.
You blinked as the door clicked shut behind you, a momentary wave of confusion sweeping over you. The two girls were leaning against the wall, Kika trying to look serious, but her grin betraying her, while Alexandra simply raised an eyebrow in a knowing way.
“Honestly, I-” you started, but the words caught in your throat. You weren’t exactly sure what you should be saying. It wasn’t like anything happened with Logan - well not yet, anyway - but it felt like there was this subtle undercurrent between you that both Kika and Alexandra were so clearly picking up on.
“Don’t even try to play innocent” Kika giggled, her voice slurring just a little from the drinks she’d had, but her eyes were sharp. “We’ve been watching you two all night.”
You glanced at Alexandra, whose arms were crossed but a soft smirk tugged at her lips. “I don’t know what you mean.” you said, though you could feel your face heating up.
Alexandra wasn’t buying it “Uh-huh. You’re both acting like it’s just another casual hangout, but since when do you two sit that close?”
You opened your mouth to respond, but Kika cut you off with a playful wave of her hand “Don’t try to play the ‘I don’t know’ card. We’re not blind.” She paused, her eyes narrowing with a mischievous twinkle. “So… what’s the deal? Something’s happening isn’t it?”
Your stomach twisted slightly at the question. You could feel your heart thumping in your chest a little harder now. Of course, it wasn’t just the alcohol that had made everything feel easier tonight - it was Logan, too. But did that mean anything?
“Nothing’s happened.” you said carefully “We’ve just been hanging out. That’s it”
“Yeah right” Alexandra said, her smirk widening. “You know, you could tell us the truth. You two are practically glued together.”
“It’s just easy with him” you admitted quietly, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “There’s no…pressure, you know? It just feels like… like it should be this way.”
Kika tilted her head, her expression more thoughtful now, her drunk giggles gone for the moment. “So you are into him?”
You felt your face heat up again. It wasn’t exactly the word you’d use for it, but it seemed like the only way to answer. “I don’t know, honestly. But I guess there’s something about him that’s… different. Makes everything feel easy.” you ran a hand through your hair nervously. “But I’m just not sure where I stand with everything else right now.”
Alexandra stepped forward, her expression shifted to something more serious. “I get it. You’re trying to figure out if what you’re feeling is real, or if it’s just the situation.” She paused, her gaze soft but intense “You deserve to explore this with him, without holding back. You’ve been in that… other situation with Max for so long, but maybe it’s time to let someone else in.”
At the mention of his name, you froze. You were instantly transported back to Singapore, that night in the paddock. Seems like you have a type.
“Don’t you think I’m jumping into something too soon?” you mumbled, suddenly becoming well aware of your hands and the way they fidgeted.
Kika caught your eye, and her expression softened “No one’s saying you need to rush into anything, but it’s okay to let yourself breathe. You’ve been wrapped up in that for too long.” She said, the words shared an understanding. Like they were burdens you were trying to carry, but time to let go of.
Alexandra leaned in a little, her voice softer now. “Sometimes moments happen when you’re not trying to force them. Just let yourself see where it goes. With him.”
Barcelona, Spain
The cool Barcelona air hit Max as soon as he made his way out to the balcony of his hotel room. It was a welcome change from the stuffy, heated atmosphere inside, the weight of the day lifting as the wind brushed past his face. The city lights flickered beneath him, painting the streets below with the soft glow of late-night life.
Isabella had already gone to bed. She had been with him all evening, talking, her hand resting casually on his arm, full attention on him. She had been sweet, supportive, asking how his day went, listening attentively to his thoughts. But despite her presence, despite the affection she had shown, Max felt… disconnected. His interactions with her were starting to feel more like a routine more than anything real. Like he had fallen into a rhythm that wasn’t his own.
Max wasn’t a stranger to the demands of his relationship. He’d always known Isabella liked to be close, ever since she started popping up in the Red Bull garage, looking for him. But tonight, something about it felt stifling. The worst part was that he didn’t know why. She was everything he had once wanted in a partner - supportive, loyal, there when he needed her. And yet, he stood alone on the balcony in the middle of the night, all he felt was nothing.
Leaning against the railing, he exhaled a long breath, watching the way the lights of the city seemed to pulse and breathe along with him. But even as the quiet of the night settled in, there was a different kind of noise inside his head. It wasn’t just about Isabella, but about you. The way things had ended in Singapore - the words he had said, the way you had walked away.
He pulled his phone from his pocket. Max wasn’t sure what he was hoping for anymore, but his thumb tapped through his apps, aimlessly landing on Instagram.
His mind flashed back to Singapore again. The heat of the moment, the exchange of glances, the accusations that had been thrown with no proof. Then that moment when you walked away.
Max knew that wasn’t how he wanted things to end. Far from it. He wasn’t good with emotions, he never had been, especially when it came to you. But that wasn’t an excuse. He hadn’t been fair to you.
He scrolled through his feed absently, his thumb moving without purpose, until he saw a recent post. It was a photo of you - captured in a candid moment, a shot from Brazil. You were laughing with some of the Ferrari mechanics, and even from a distance, the warmth of your eyes was unmistakable.
It was stupid, he knew. But just seeing it made him ache. He hadn’t meant to go this far. He hadn’t planned on checking up on you. But the post was like a pull - a reminder of something he didn’t want to forget.
Max tapped the photo, noticing an account was tagged. y/nl/n.jpeg. He knew Lando and Daniel had accounts with similar names, so he tapped. A small part of him almost hoped he wouldn’t find anything. That somehow it would lead to a dead end. But instead, your profile opened in front of him, fun and captivating, just like you.
The profile picture was you standing on the track in Monaco, your camera in your hand, a confident smirk on your face. Max had seen that smile plenty of times before, felt its warmth, and he realized with a sharp pang in his chest that he missed it. He missed you - the way everything was so easy with you, how he didn’t need to hold anything back.
He scrolled through the feed, quickly realizing this wasn’t the same account as your personal one. Photos from races around the world, photos that you had taken, were posted. Your face was nowhere to be found, it was only how your lens viewed the world.
There were photos of sunsets over the racetracks, candid shots of teammates laughing in the paddock, and even pictures of fans in the stands, their faces alight with excitement. He couldn’t help but smile at how well you captured these moments. It was clear you were more than just a bystander; you were present in a way that only someone who truly understood the sport could be.
He tapped on a picture of a sunset from Austin - one of the most stunning shots Max had ever seen of the Texas sky turning orange and purple, Charles’ car streaking across the horizon. The image was perfectly composed, the light bleeding into the asphalt, and for a moment, Max felt like he was back there, in the heart of the weekend.
He scrolled through the carousel of photos that were attached. Most of them were of Ferrari, their crew and the cars. But as he scrolled to the last photo, he froze. It was of the RB-19, his RB-19, flying down the track.
Max’s heart skipped a beat as his eyes fixed on the photo. It was a perfectly timed shot. His car sliced through the corners of the track, the blurred backdrop of the stand giving the image a sense of motion and speed.
You had taken this photo.
Curiosity piqued as he swiped out of the carousel he was looking at, quickly tapping on another shortly after. He paid little attention to the first handful of photos, but at the end, was a photo of him on the podium in Belgium, drenched in sweat and champagne from the celebrations.
Max moved onto another carousel. This time, photos from Miami in 2022. Sure enough, at the very end, was a photo of him and Charles embracing each other after the on track battle.
With every post Max had looked at, there was always a photo of him mixed in somehow. Whether he was in the background, or the main subject, every single post involved him. It was as though you had seen the things he hadn’t let himself feel, capturing the rawness of the moments he had tucked away.
He managed to scroll all the way to the bottom of your profile, to the very first post you had ever made. They were all photos you had taken as a kid, most likely from the red point and shoot camera you had glued to you. And there, at the very end of the photos was a shot of a little boy Max had known too well. The same photo that had been resting in your photo album for years. The same photo of the little boy that now resided in Max’s wallet.
That little boy needed to get you back.
=============================
tagged: @mixedstyles
#flash forward mv33#formula one#formula 1#f1#f1 2024#max verstappen#charles leclerc#writing#creative writing#red bull racing#f1 x reader#mv1 x reader#mv33 x reader#red bull f1#red bull formula 1#rbr f1#scuderia ferrari#ferrari#f1 imagines#f1 imagine#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#formula 1 x reader#f1 oneshot#f1 masterlist#formula one imagine#f1 x y/n#mv33#mv1#mv1 fic
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reblogging comment review from @zyafics
i said i was gonna read when u edited and now u given me the signal 🫡 let's see if i'm ready to let go of pretty maybank and rafe <😭3 ⬇️
Some gave you that look—you know, the one that said, “Oh, sweetie, you again?”—while others just shook their heads, probably wondering when you would finally stop playing caretaker and start looking out for yourself.
maniacally scribbling down this sentence into my notes bc i am in love with how it flows?? i have a writer-crush on u bc of the way u string together words so elegantly
Brand new driver’s license, barely knew how to parallel park, and boom, you’re getting woken up at like 2 a.m. because your dad’s been arrested.
don't even know if im gonna to even talk about the story atp but one of my FAVORITE things about ur writing is how u add these little specific details that makes the characters come alive !!!
It wasn’t the first time you’d seen him wasted or bruised up, but this time felt different. This time, it hit you that this was gonna be your life now.
why did this line hit me so deep???
Now, sitting in the small, stuffy waiting room of the sheriff’s department, you glance around, feeling a knot of tension tightening in your stomach, the fluorescent lights doing little to help, making everything appear sterile and unforgiving.
love the word fluorescent lights, could never learn how to spell it without google
JJ’s next to you, his leg bouncing like he’s got caffeine running through his veins instead of blood. You’re already annoyed, and it doesn’t help that Rafe is sitting on your other side, looking just as pissed off.
THIS IS MAKING ME GIGGLE SO BADLY THE DYNAMIC TRIO
"You wanna talk about sisters too?"
the way i went—
JJ nods, fiddling with his shark tooth necklace, the one you’d given him when he was seven.
u mesh so well with canon events 🩷🙂↕️
You glance at the two men beside you, each representing a different part of your world. Your brother stubs out his cigarette, glancing over at Rafe with an exaggerated sigh. He smirks, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
thought this man was gonna be nice and offer rafe a cigarette but i guess wer're not there yet
It’s been a month since the nightmare with your dad, and you’ve pretty much been living at Rafe’s new place ever since. Sure, you’ve got your own house, but it just doesn’t feel like home anymore. Rafe’s apartment though? It’s like your little safe haven now. You don’t officially live there, but who are you kidding? Most of your stuff is in his drawers, he’s stocked the bathroom with all your skincare, hair stuff, even a toothbrush. He tried to go all-out, buying you everything, and you kept telling him to stop, but it’s like talking to a wall. You gave up eventually.
so bf of him
“Anyways,” He rolls his eyes, ignoring the way you tried to cut him off, his hand now lightly squeezing your knee, “You were out there showing off, catching wave after wave. I was so fucking annoyed."
why is this so funny LOLL
“You know, it’s funny. Back then, I thought you were just this arrogant piece of shit who was always trying too hard to fit in.”��That’s so sweet.”
im literally gonna miss them sm 😭
Ward’s expression turns cold once more, but there’s a flicker of something—maybe regret, maybe just a reflection of his anger.
FEARRRR
“Let’s go home." You nod, a smile spreading across your face. “Yeah, let’s go home.”
such a cute ending <3
FINAL THOUGHTS • i literally am going to miss them so much, it was such an adventure to read this series (and despite how late it is), and with the new edits, i can just see how much you grown as a writer. it's glorious and im so happy to have been there for the ride! can't wait to read more of ur things and also, how the fuck do u write so fast? i blink and there's 15304 different rafe fics out by you??
THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - rafe cameron (+18) - seven (finale)
request: "a rafe enemies to lovers 🫣 the reader is jjs sister the whole drama before but then she gets left behind on the ship and rafe ends up comforting her and then yea that’s all I got you can do whatever else the rest 😛" + "def some little smut during the enemies part and a long story"
word count: 6.3k
warnings: last chapter <3
You’ve been to Kildare County Sheriff’s Department way more times than you care to admit
Being the oldest kid in your family—and somehow the only actual adult—you lost count of how many times you had to drag your dad out of jail between the ages of sixteen and twenty. It felt like a full-time job.
Then there were the countless times you’d been there for your friends.
JJ, for instance, had been taken in more than once for public disturbances. It was almost a given that he'd end up in that shithole whenever there was a party or some kind of trouble brewing. You knew every officer by name, and they knew you too. Some gave you that look—you know, the one that said, “Oh, sweetie, you again?”—while others just shook their heads, probably wondering when you would finally stop playing caretaker and start looking out for yourself.
But you always showed up, no matter what, because that’s what you did. You took care of your own.
The first time you had to pick up your dad, you were sixteen. Brand new driver’s license, barely knew how to parallel park, and boom, you’re getting woken up at like 2 a.m. because your dad’s been arrested. You were shaking the whole time, gripping the steering wheel like your life depended on it, eyes blurry with tears. It wasn’t the first time you’d seen him wasted or bruised up, but this time felt different. This time, it hit you that this was gonna be your life now.
You were stuck.
You remember pulling up to the station, parking all kinds of crooked because your hands wouldn’t stop trembling. You ran inside, still half-asleep, and the officer at the desk gave you this sad little smile. “He’s in the back,” he said, like you didn’t already know.
When you saw your dad slumped over, bruised, and barely awake, something inside you just... cracked. He looked up, and for a second, he recognized you. “Hey, kiddo,” he mumbled, still drunk, still out of it. Back then, there was still some part of him left, some shred of the man he used to be.
You signed the papers, helped him stumble to the car, and drove home in silence while he passed out in the passenger seat. It was the first of so many nights like that. And you knew it wasn’t gonna be the last. When you finally pulled into the driveway, you helped him inside and onto the couch. He mumbled a thank you before passing out, his snores filling the room.
Now, sitting in the small, stuffy waiting room of the sheriff’s department, you glance around, feeling a knot of tension tightening in your stomach, the fluorescent lights doing little to help, making everything appear sterile and unforgiving.
You wish you could be anywhere but here.
JJ’s next to you, his leg bouncing like he’s got caffeine running through his veins instead of blood. You’re already annoyed, and it doesn’t help that Rafe is sitting on your other side, looking just as pissed off.
“Will you stop bouncing your leg JJ?” You grit out, already irritated from waiting longer than an hour.
“Why the fuck did he have to come?” JJ mutters, throwing daggers at Rafe with his eyes.
“JJ, not now.” You put your hand on his arm, trying to keep him from starting something. The last thing you need is another fight.
JJ glares, but his jaw clenches shut. “This is so messed up,” he grumbles.
“Messed up is leaving your sister alone with your drunk piece of shit father.”
“Like I knew he was there, you dumbass?” JJ shoots back, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Maybe stop leaving her alone.”
“Oh, here we go,” you mutter, feeling the tension rise again. The last thing you need right now is for these two to start another fight.
Ever since JJ came back to the mainland only to pick you up from Taneyhill, things had been…tense. It was one thing to talk about you and Rafe, it was a completely different thing to see you together.
You know your brother hates every second of it.
“Oh, but you wanna talk about drunk pieces of shit? How many times did your daddy bail you out?”
Rafe’s eyes narrow, his fists clenching, “How many times did you make your sister bail you out, huh?”
"You wanna talk about sisters too?"
You shut your eyes, attempting to ignore the way they’re clawing each other’s throats out with tainted insults. It was a miracle they're standing in the same room without killing each other, but you can only take so much. It’s like they’re about to throw punches, right there in the middle of the sheriff’s office.
"Shut the fuck up Maybank."
“Fuck you, Cameron!” JJ snaps, standing up so fast his chair skids backward, “You think you’re better than us?”
Rafe stands up too, stepping closer to JJ, “Better than you? Yes.”
“Don’t act like you’re doing this for her,” JJ scoffs. “You’ve never helped anyone but yourself, you manipulative asshole.”
“That’s enough,” you snap, standing up and stepping between them, pushing them apart. Your voice is shaking with frustration. “You two are going to shut the fuck up or take this shit outside. It’s nine in the morning. I didn’t get a wink of sleep, and I’m not gonna sit here and hear you two bitch it you.”
JJ glares at Rafe over your shoulder. “We don’t need this asshole’s help. We can handle it ourselves.”
Rafe sneers. “Handle it? Like you’ve handled everything else?”
Your brother lunges forward, but you push him back, your voice shaking. “Sit your ass down or leave, I’m not going to repeat myself.”
They both just stare at you, their harsh words still hanging in the air of this stuffy room. The tension is almost suffocating, but there's no way you’re letting them keep tearing each other apart. You’re exhausted, emotionally and physically drained. The last thing you need right now is to play mediator between them… again.
Rafe finally sits down, arms crossed, biting his tongue—for your sake, you know. JJ’s sitting too now, still fidgeting like he always does, tapping his fingers against the armrest.
"Look," you say, your voice still firm, "We're here for a reason. Let's just get through this and get out, okay?"
Your brother just grunts, glaring at the wall like it’s personally offended him. Rafe lets out a sigh and gives you the tiniest nod, like a reluctant “fine.” You sit back down, feeling a bit of the weight in your chest ease up. Rafe leans in and gently takes your hand, mouthing, "I’m sorry." You give it a little squeeze—apology accepted, for now.
JJ notices but looks away too quickly for you to read him. You know he’s pissed, but at least for the moment, he’s staying quiet.
The minutes crawl by, each one feeling like forever, and finally, a cop shows up at the door, calling your name. The three of you stand up at the same time, and Rafe and JJ follow behind you, silent but close, as you walk down the hallway.
The clanging of barred doors shutting behind you makes your stomach twist, and you eventually end up in a small interrogation room. The officer gestures to a chair, "Take a seat." He heads off to get paperwork, and you glance at Rafe, who’s watching you like he’s afraid you might disappear. You know he won’t relax until your dad is completely out of the picture.
Your brother, on the other hand, leans against the wall with crossed arms, a brooding expression on his face. He's always been protective, even if his way of showing it often led to clashes with others. You wish things could be different.
Officer Malcom comes back with a stack of papers, but before you can even look at them, Rafe’s lawyer, Mr. Johnson, walks in. Rafe's had him on speed dial since the whole mess started, and honestly, he's been a lifesaver. He sits beside you, reviewing the papers calmly, and just having him there makes everything feel a little less scary.
“Alright, folks, let's go through this step by step. The first form here is the petition for a temporary restraining order. It outlines the incidents and reasons for seeking protection.”
“Are these incidents documented with the sherrif’s office?” Mr. Johnson's expertise is evident in the way he examines the document meticulously.
“Yes, sir. We have reports dating back to—" Officer Malcom stops for a second, checking the data, “About eight years ago, give or take.”
Rafe’s head snaps in your direction, brows furrowed, clearly pissed off that this has been going on for that long without anyone doing anything. You try to ignore it, focusing on the papers in front of you instead.
“What happens after I file this?
“Once filed, a judge will review the petition. If approved, a temporary restraining order will be issued, usually effective immediately. Then, there'll be a hearing within a few weeks to determine if a permanent order is necessary.”
“What if he doesn't abide by the temporary order?”
The officer only nods sympathetically. “Violating a restraining order is a criminal offense. He could face fines, jail time, or both.”
Rafe’s still looking at you, “Does she have to serve him personally with these papers?”
“It’s crucial that he’s officially notified. We handle that part, though.”
Rafe’s lawyer is taking notes when he speaks up again, “If he contests the order, he’ll have the opportunity to present his side at the hearing. Both parties can bring witnesses or evidence. But based on your father’s behavior, that’s unlikely.”
You hope to God he doesn’t. The thought of seeing him again makes you feel like you might throw up. You take a deep breath, hands itching to twirl a piece of your hair.
“How long does the process usually take?”
You feel a hand touch your shoulder, gently tightening the grip around the skin, you don’t have to look back to know it’s Rafe. By now you know the lines and the ridges of his hands as if they are your own.
"The timeline can vary, but typically, from filing to the hearing, it might take a few weeks. It depends on the court's schedule and any potential delays."
You nod, absorbing the information while trying to steady your breathing. None of this feels real. Not the legal stuff, not the fact that this could actually be over soon. As the conversation continues, Mr. Johnson outlines the next steps clearly, discussing what will happen during and after the hearing.
The officer quickly gathers the papers in his hands, “I’ll get everything started then. Just a moment.”
As he leaves to process the paperwork, a brief silence settles over the room. You exchange glances with JJ and Rafe, both of them entirely too interested of the concrete floor.
“This is the right thing to do, right?”
You know it is. You’ve known for years, but it’s still hard to understand how it came to this. Your life could’ve been so different.
JJ nods, fiddling with his shark tooth necklace, the one you’d given him when he was seven. “Yeah. He shouldn’t be able to just...” He trails off shaking his head.
Rafe squeezes your shoulder once more, then lowers himself to your level and plants a quick peck on your temple, “You’ve got this. It’ll be okay.”
Mr. Johnson finally puts his pen away, turning to you, “I’ll stay on top of the filings and keep you updated on any developments.”
This moment is a culmination of years of struggle. It's daunting, but you’re not alone.
"Thank you.”
JJ shifts his weight, his agitation visible. "I hate this," he mutters.
"I know," you reply, not knowing what else to say.
The door swings open again, and Officer Malcom re-enters, holding a stack of papers. "Alright," he says, handing you a pen. "Just sign here, and we'll get this process started."
You take the pen with shaky hands, knowing there’s no going back after this. As you sign your name, you can't help but sigh in relief.
This is a step towards freedom.
Rafe watches you intently, his eyes full of concern. He reaches out, placing a hand on your back, a little reminder that he's here for you. JJ stands close by, his protective instincts on high alert.
After you finish signing, Officer Malcom takes the papers and gives you a reassuring nod. "We'll take care of the rest. You should hear from us soon about the next steps."
You stand up, feeling a little lighter, but the emotional toll of the day still kicks your ass. As you make your way out of the room, Rafe keeps a steady hand on your back, guiding you.
Once outside, the morning sun feels almost blinding after the harsh fluorescent lights of the station. JJ immediately lights a cigarette, taking a long drag and exhaling with a sigh.
Rafe looks at you, his expression softening. "You're good?"
You nod, managing a small smile. "Yeah, I think so. Thank you for being here, both of you."
JJ smirks, though there's a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Where else would I be?”
You glance at the two men beside you, each representing a different part of your world. Your brother stubs out his cigarette, glancing over at Rafe with an exaggerated sigh. He smirks, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
“Gotta admit, I never thought I'd see the day when 'Rafe the Retch' would be helping us out.”
A laugh escapes your lips before you can stop it, but you quickly cover it up, turning it into a cough. You’d forgotten about that one.
Rafe’s eyebrows shoot up. “'Rafe the Retch'? Seriously, what the fuck?”
“Ask her,” JJ nods in your direction.
“You called me that shit?”
You bite your lip, “To be fair, I called you worse things.”
Rfe tilts his head, hands on his hips, “Like what?”
“You don’t want to know.”
The three of you start walking toward the parking lot, as you reach the cars, JJ pulls you into a quick, tight hug. “We’re gonna get through this,” he murmurs, his voice filled with determination.
You hug him back, “I know, Jay.”
Rafe stands a few feet away, watching the exchange with a thoughtful expression. When your brother finally lets you go, he steps closer, “Ready to go?”
JJ looks at you, the concern in his eyes clear. "I gotta head to work. Do you want a ride home? It's on the way.”
You glance at Rafe, then back at JJ, sensing his reluctance. “No but thank you.”
JJ’s shoulders tense, but he nods, trying to hide his disappointment. "Alright. Just... call me if you need anything, okay?"
You smile, appreciating his concern. "I will. Drive safe."
He nods again, glancing one more time at Rafe before getting into his truck and driving off. You watch him go, knowing that things are still far from being okay between the two of you.
You know he’s never going to change his opinion about Rafe, maybe not until he witnesses the changes in him, but you hope that one day they’ll find some common ground. It’s a lot to ask from your brother, you know that, and it’s why you never push him.
“You sure you’re doing okay?”
You nod, leaning into Rafe now that he stands behind you, “Yeah, just a little tired.”
He wraps an arm around your shoulders, guiding you towards his car, “Did you get any sleep last night?”
"Barely," you admit. "Just couldn't stop thinking about today.”
He unlocks the car, opening the passenger door for you. "Well, now that it's done, you can rest. I’ll even put that bullshit show you like.”
You gasp ready to punch him in the shoulder, but by the time you turn he’s already on the other side of the car, “Love Island is not a stupid show!”
He chuckles as he starts the engine. "If you say so.”
“You watch it too.”
“Only because you force me to,” Rafe counters, a playful glint in his eyes.
It’s been a month since the nightmare with your dad, and you’ve pretty much been living at Rafe’s new place ever since. Sure, you’ve got your own house, but it just doesn’t feel like home anymore. Rafe’s apartment though? It’s like your little safe haven now. You don’t officially live there, but who are you kidding? Most of your stuff is in his drawers, he’s stocked the bathroom with all your skincare, hair stuff, even a toothbrush. He tried to go all-out, buying you everything, and you kept telling him to stop, but it’s like talking to a wall. You gave up eventually.
As he pulls out of the parking lot, his hand slides over to grab yours. It’s such a simple thing, but it makes the tight feeling in your chest ease a little. You’re both quiet for most of the drive, but it’s not awkward or anything. It’s actually kind of nice. You never imagined he’d be so...attached. Things between you are still...somewhat undefined, but it definitely feels like a relationship. That thought is pushed to the back of your mind for now. It's just not the right moment to talk about it—not with his father’s trial only weeks away and your own dad still recovering in the hospital.
When you pull up to his apartment, the building feels familiar in a way that makes your stomach flip. He hops out of the car and, as usual, rushes around to open your door for you. It’s such a small thing, but it always makes your heart race.
Once inside, the place feels so different from the craziness of the day. It’s cozy, warm, and just... safe. You kick off your shoes and flop onto the couch, sinking into the cushions.
“Wanna watch your show?” Rafe asks, giving you that half-smile you’ve come to love.
You chuckle, feeling lighter than you have all day. “And you say you don’t love it.”
He grabs the remote and turns on the TV, navigating to the show. As the familiar theme song starts playing, you snuggle closer to him, finding comfort in the routine. It's all trashy drama and ridiculous contestants, but it’s the distraction you desperately need. Rafe’s arm stays around you, like always. But as the episode progresses, your eyelids grow heavy. The events of the day, combined with the sleepless night, catch up to you. You feel yourself drifting off, your head resting against Rafe’s chest, his heartbeat a steady rhythm lulling you to sleep.
“Rest, baby,” he murmurs, his voice a soothing whisper. “I’ve got you.”
Next thing you know, you wake up to the smell of something cooking. Blinking your eyes open, you realize Rafe’s in the kitchen, and the living room is dimly lit. A blanket slips off your shoulders as you sit up, and when you look over, he’s already smiling at you.
You’ve seen him smile more times over the past month than all the years you had “known” him combined. It looks good on him, makes him look younger.
Stretching, you ask, “What’s all this?”
“Dinner. Figured you could use a good meal,” he says casually, like it’s no big deal that he’s cooked for you.
You sneak up behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. “Look at you, Chef Rafe.”
Ever since he moved in on his own, he’s been slowly learning how to take care of himself. You’ve caught him watching cooking and deep cleaning videos more times you can count. You find it endearing. It makes your chest ache, in a good way, to watch him slowly turn into his own person, not the Rafe his father shaped him to be.
He chuckles, giving you a quick forehead kiss. “Eat before it gets cold.”
You sit down, and the first bite has you practically moaning. He snorts at your reaction, but you can tell he’s proud of himself. As you eat, though, you notice he seems a little off. His shoulders are tight, and there’s something in his eyes that makes you pause. You reach across the table, placing your hand over his.
"What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Rafe. What’s wrong?”
He hesitates, then sighs. “Got a call from my lawyer. About Ward.”
The mention of his dad sends a chill down your spine. “What about him?”
Rafe’s thumb brushes your knuckles as he looks down. “He wants to talk.”
“Do you want to talk to him?”
Rafe's jaw tightens, and he lets out a slow breath. “Yeah. But every time I’ve tried to stand up to him, it’s backfired."
You squeeze his hand, “He can’t hurt you anymore, you know that, right? You're not the same person you were before," you remind him gently. "You've grown so much, Rafe. You’ve made your own life."
He looks up at you, his gaze softening. The intensity in his eyes is clear—vulnerability, determination, and a deep-seated fear. It's as if he’s silently pleading for your reassurance, for the strength to face his demons.
“You think so?”
It's in the way his eyes become softer when they meet yours, the slight quiver in his lips, the way he holds your hand just a little tighter.
“Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
“Okay. I…I’ll think about it.”
The two of you finish dinner, the conversation shifting to lighter topic. After cleaning up, you find yourselves back on the couch, the TV playing quietly in the background.
Everything feels so domestic it pulls at your heartstrings. And it hits you how much you love this, just being here with him.
But you can still feel the tension rolling off him. You turn to him, tracing little patterns on his chest. “You’re still worried, huh?”
He sighs, throwing his head against the cushions, his hand coming up to rest on yours. "Yeah. I’m scared talking to him will pull me back into that dark place.”
You press a kiss to his clothed chest. “You won’t go back there. Not while I’m here.”
He tightens his hold on you, “You know you’re too good for this world. It’s ridiculous.”
You narrow your eyes, “Am not.”
“Yeah, you are, Pretty Maybank.”
There it is. That nickname. “You know that’s so stupid, right?”
He grins, completely unbothered. “You love it.”
You nudge him with your elbow. “I tolerate it.”
He catches your hand, bringing it to his lips for a soft kiss. “Fits you perfectly.”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the grin tugging at your lips.
“If you say so.”
His eyes soften as he looks at you, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your hand. “I do.”
“Shup up,” You feel a blush creeping up your cheeks. “Don’t even know how you came up with that shit.”
Rafe laughs, the sound low and rumbling, his hand moving to rub your leg. “It’s really stupid.”
You raise an eyebrow, teasing. “’Course it is.”
“Remember when we were fourteen, and we were both at the beach for that huge surf competition? You were this cocky, skilled little girl with an ego bigger than the waves.”
“And you were a suck-up mother—"
“Anyways,” He rolls his eyes, ignoring the way you tried to cut him off, his hand now lightly squeezing your knee, “You were out there showing off, catching wave after wave. I was so fucking annoyed."
You raise an eyebrow, giving him a skeptical look. “Oh, so you were secretly in awe of me?”
“Maybe,” he admits with a sheepish grin. “Or maybe I was just bitter because you made me look bad.”
“I made everyone look bad.”
“Okay, Gabriel Medina. You were out there showing off, making everyone watch you like you owned the ocean. All the boys were ogling you, calling you pretty, and you were loving every second of it.”
You smirk, remembering the day. "I was pretty good, wasn’t I?”
“Good?” He snorts, shaking his head as his fingers trail up and down your thigh. “You were more than good, you were unreal.”
"Yeah, yeah, so how does that tie into the nickname?”
“You came out of the water, hair all messy, sand on your skin, but you had this huge smile. One of the boys called you 'Pretty Maybank,' and you just laughed, brushing it off. But I— I guess I remembered it. It fit you.”
You blink, momentarily thrown off, "I...I didn’t know you remembered that."
“You’re kinda hard to forget Maybank.”
Your heart flutters at his words, the sincerity in his voice making it hard to breathe, “Shut up.”
He leans in, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss, his hand cradling the back of your head. It only lasts a few seconds, before you’re pulling away, mumbling against his lips.
“You know, it’s funny. Back then, I thought you were just this arrogant piece of shit who was always trying too hard to fit in.”
“That’s so sweet.”
You cup his face, brushing your thumbs across his cheeks, “Hmm. You were always showing off, too.”
“Well,” he drawls, pulling you a little closer, his arms wrapping around your waist, “We both grew out of that phase. Mostly.”
“Mostly,” you agree with a grin. “But I guess some things never change.”
“Yeah,” He doesn't take his eyes off your face, “Some things don’t change.
There’s a brief silence, filled with the quiet sound of the TV and the comfortable presence of each other. His fingers continue to trace patterns on your hand, and you can feel his earlier stress easing if only a little.
“I don’t want to mess this up,” He admits quietly, “With you.”
“We’ve come this far, haven’t we?”
Rafe’s fingers gently brush a strand of hair behind your ear, “Yeah, we have.”
“I’ll keep you in check, Cameron.”
He holds you tighter, his breath mingling with yours. “You're too good for me, y’know that?”
You laugh, “I know.”
Before you can react, his fingers are dancing across your sides, tickling you mercilessly. You squeal, wriggling and trying to escape his grasp, but he’s relentless.
"Rafe!” You gasp between fits of laughter.
"Say sorry,” he demands, his fingers still working their magic.
"Never!" you manage to choke out, tears of laughter streaming down your face.
He grins wickedly, the movement driving your tummy insane.
"Wrong answer."
You squirm in his grip, the tickling intensifying. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" you finally relent, breathless and giggling.
Rafe stops, his hands coming to rest on your waist. His grin is triumphant, but there's a softness in his eyes that makes your heart skip a beat. "That's what I thought," he muses, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.
You catch your breath, still smiling. "You know, for someone who's supposed to be a tough guy, you’re surprisingly good at this domestic stuff."
He chuckles, pulling you closer until you're nestled against him.
"What can I say? You bring out the best in me, Pretty Maybank."
"I like this," you admit softly. "Being here with you, just... us."
"Me too," Rafe murmurs, his hand gently stroking your hair. "Feels right, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, it does.”
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Three weeks later, Rafe finally agrees to visit Ward in prison.
His lawyer arranged the meeting, emphasizing the importance of having this conversation to find closure. Despite your protests, Rafe insisted on doing this alone. Plus, prison's security measures are stringent, and there’s no way you could accompany him inside.
Instead, you’re stuck waiting outside, the anxiety killing you slowly. You're sitting on a bench outside the high-security prison, your foot tapping nervously against the ground.
The sun is blazing, making the wait even more unbearable. You wish you could be in there with him, supporting him. You glance at the ugly building, feeling desperate to get the hell away. Your phone buzzes, snapping you out of your thoughts. It’s a text from JJ.
"how's it going?"
You quickly type back.
"he just went in. kinda losing my mind out here."
"he’ll be okay. devil spawn and all yk".
"not helping???"
"my bad sis, just trying to lighten the mood. seriously though, he's got this."
You sigh, putting your phone down and glancing around the barren surroundings. The high walls and barbed wire of the prison seem to loom even larger now. Time drags on, every minute feels like an hour. You find yourself looking at the entrance every few seconds, hoping to see Rafe walk out.
Inside, Rafe is led through a maze of corridors, the echo of his footsteps bouncing off the cold concrete walls. The guards are stoic, their faces expressionless as they guide him to the visitation room. His heart pounds in his chest, but he forces himself to stay calm, to stay focused. He's going to be just fine.
When he finally walks in the room, he sees Ward already seated, the older man looking surprisingly composed. Of course he'd care about his appearance even when he's locked up. There's a glass partition between them, with phones on either side for communication. Rafe sits down, picking up the phone with a shaky hand. He wishes you were here.
Ward's eyes are piercing as they lock onto Rafe's. "Look who finally decided to visit," he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "Took you time, boy."
Rafe takes a deep breath. This is it.
"Only came to tell you something."
Ward raises an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair. "Oh? And what's that? That you’re an ungrateful piece of shit?”
Ignore him, your voice echoes in his head. He knew Ward was going to try to get a rise out of him and he hates that it might work.
"I'm done," Rafe says, his voice steady. "You don't control me anymore."
“After everything I've done for you?"
Rafe's grip on the phone tightens. "You didn't do shit for me. You did it for yourself."
Ward leans forward, his eyes narrowing. "You have no idea what you're talking about, boy. You need me."
"No, I don't," Rafe retorts, “No one needs you.”
Ward's eyes flash with anger, but he quickly masks it with a calculating smile. "Is that what you really think, son? That you can just walk away from everything? From me?"
Rafe feels a rush of anger fighting it's way up his throat, but he holds it back, remembering your words. He takes another breath, steadying himself, “I don’t care.”
Ward's smile fades, replaced by a sneer. "You think you're so strong now, don't you? Do you think you can survive out there without my influence? The world is a cruel place, Rafe. You won't last a day. You think that Maybank trash is gonna solve all your problems, huh?”
“You’re not getting under my skin.”
Ward's eyes narrow further, and he leans in closer to the glass, his voice dropping to a whisper. "So, it’s about her now, is it? What makes you think she’ll be any better for you than I was? She doesn’t know you like I do."
Rafe’s temper flares, but he forces himself to stay calm. He can’t take the bait.
"Keep her out of this.”
“You think you’re so righteous, so superior. You’ll need more than just some girl to get you through.”
“I don’t need you,” Rafe insists, his voice firm. “I never did.”
Ward’s expression turns cold once more, but there’s a flicker of something—maybe regret, maybe just a reflection of his anger. “You can pretend you’re free, but you know I’m not so easily forgotten.”
Rafe takes a deep breath, forcing himself to stay composed. “I don’t need to hear anything else from you. I’m done.”
“You won’t be able to keep her safe.”
He knew the conversation wouldn’t be longer than five minutes.
He stands up abruptly, the phone clattering against the partition as he drops it. He doesn't need to hear Ward any more. He turns his back on his father and walks out of the room, the door clanging shut behind him. As he walks back through the maze of corridors, his thoughts turn to you, knowing you’re outside overthinking and ready to hug the live out of him.
He’s striding to you the moment he sees you. You're still on the bench, trying to distract yourself with your phone, but it’s no use. You jump up, rushing over to him. You’re always so endearing to him it pains him to know he hurt you so badly over the years.
“You okay?”
Rafe’s arms wrap around you, finally breathing normally. His breath is warm against your ear as he whispers, “Yeah. I’m okay.”
You wrap your arms around him, holding him close as if you can protect him from the Ward’s harshness. “I was going crazy waiting out here.”
“Sorry for making you wait,” Rafe murmurs, his voice muffled against your shoulder.
“I don’t care,” You pull back slightly, your hands moving to cup his face. Your fingers trace the lines of his jaw, feeling the faint stubble beneath your touch, “You did what you needed to do. And I’m proud of you.”
He smiles a small, tired smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, “Needed to hear that. Thank you.”
You nod, your thumb brushing against his cheek. “For what?” you ask, leaning into him again. “You did great, baby. You stood up to him. That takes so much strength.”
You take his hand, your fingers intertwining with his as you lead him away from the prison. His grip is strong, his palm warm against yours. The two of you walk in silence for a moment, the only sound the gravel crunching beneath your feet. You glance at him, noting the way his shoulders have relaxed a litte.
“I felt it. Like a weight lifting off me. It’s not completely gone, but it’s lighter.”
You stop walking, turning to face him fully. Your free hand reaches up to brush a strand of hair from his forehead. It had grown so much over the past few weeks. “And it’ll keep getting lighter,” you assure him.
“You think?”
“I know. You’ll keep needing to stand up to him,” you acknowledge, “But it will get easier each time.”
His hand brushes a stray hair from your face, copying your earlier movement. “And you’ll be here with me?”
“Always.”
Rafe’s expression softens, the hard edges smoothed away by the promise in your words. He leans in, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
His lips linger there.
“You really are too good for me,” he murmurs against your skin, the sound blending with the hum of the car engines in the distance.
“I know.”
He pulls back slightly, his eyes searching yours. The intensity in his gaze takes your breath away, but it’s a different kind of intensity than you’re used to seeing in him. It’s softer, more open, and entirely focused on you.
“Let’s go home."
You nod, a smile spreading across your face. “Yeah, let’s go home.”
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Hi!!! This is my first request but could you please do an imagine with Pau Cubarsi x reader where he wants to be more than friends and doesn't know how to tell her but in the end he finally does. your writing is amazing btw!!
I’ll call you mine — Pau Cubarsí.
Pairing: Pau Cubarsí x Fem!Reader
Summary: Pau has been trying to confess for months, but instead of it coming out with a planned confession, he just blurted it out.
Word count: 1.58k+
Disclaimer/s: Injured (but healing) cat + fluff
A/N: on a pau grind because i’m desperately in love with him.
Your whole study group, which consisted of you, Pau, Lamine, and a girl named Elaine, had agreed to meet at a local diner a few blockes away from school. Pau had kindly offered you a ride there, since he was your neighbor and best friend.
Music played quietly in the background while he drove, adding a nice vibe to the one you’d already created while talking. Pau was asking about you cat, Beatrice, since she just had surgery.
“Oh my God, she literally—“ You let out an annoyed breath, “she literally is so energetic. She literally just got her surgery and now she’s suddenly full of life! I had twenty-four hours of peace before she started walking on our balcony railing again!”
Pau chuckles, his eyes darting to you every few seconds to watch your animated retelling of Beatrice’s actions. “She’s always been a handful, why are you surprised?”
Pinching your lips together, you huff. “Okay, true. It’s still stressful though. So anyways, Lamine and Elaine texted and said they are waiting for us.. but, I was thinking we.. you, could stop at the gas station so I can get some chips? They always have boring flavors at the diner.” You turn in your seat to face Pau, your lips jutting out in a pleading pout.
The boy glances at you with a knowing look, but of course he could never say no to you. “Yeah, sure. Just be quick, we’re already late.”
Pau turns into one of the corner stores, parking in the front so you could get in and out as quickly as possible. As you dig for your bag to get your card, Pau pulls his out from his wallet, shoving it into your face.
Pulling back, you give him a look. “No. Pau, you paid for them last time!”
“And, i’ll pay for them this time.” He waves the card in front of your face, which was forming an annoyed look. “Take it. Go.”
With a groan, you snatch it from his hand. “Okay, thanks. I’ll pay you back.”
You were in and out of the gas station in five minutes, clicking your seatbelt on and handing Pau’s card back with a smile. Chips in hand, you watch the store disappear as Pau drives away.
Your eyes eventually trail back to Pau, who seemed to be deep in thought. Observing his concentrated face, you don’t realize the growing upturn to your lips. He feels your stare, but doesn’t say anything to stop it. His stomach churns the longer you silently watch him and his heart felt like it was beating so fast that it wasn’t beating at all.
You only look away when he parks outside the diner. Unbuckling and climbing out with an eager bounce in your step. Inside, you two find Lamine and Elaine waiting in a back booth, their laptops already opened on the table alongside a red box of fries.
“About time.” Elaine quips, not bothering to look up from her laptop when you and Pau slide into the bench across from her and Lamine.
“Someone,” Pau drawls out, eyes flickering to yours teasingly, “wanted her chips.”
Lamine laughs, sticking out his hand to Elaine who frowns as she places a few bucks into his open palm. “I told you.”
Your lips pull into a frown, “what the hell? You placed a bet—you know what. Whatever! I don’t even care. Moving along, who has the wifi password?”
“They haven’t changed it since we were last here.” Elaine informs, plopping a fry into her mouth.
Pau’s eyebrows quirk up, “they haven’t?”
Your elbow nudges his shoulder, “they are learning to love us!”
Lamine glances between the duo, sharing a quirked eyebrow with Pau when your hand lingered a bit too long on the boy’s arm, and Pau’s cheeks had flushed a bright red.
The thing was, Lamine had been trying to get Pau to tell you how he felt for months. Every time, the boy promised he’d do it ‘soon’. He never did.
As the night went on, the group studies quietly, sharing small talk here and there. You and Pau decided to leave early, opting out of the study session to go watch a movie at your house.
The second you two arrived back at your house, you had changed into pajamas and joined Pau on the couch. With your parents already fast asleep, they didn’t bother telling you what time to have Pau leave. This was quite a normal activity for you two; Pau coming over to your house and staying over while you guys half-pay attention to the movie playing.
Most of the time you two spent together was filled with you talking and Pau listening. Thats the sort of friendship you had. He loved to hear you talk, and, well, you loved to talk. Plus, Pau preferred it that way simply because he could avoid the stuttering mess you made him when you listened to him talk.
Even as you sat there, only a foot between each other as you talked. Your knees were pulled to your chest and you were going in on a conspiracy theory you happened to come across on Tiktok. Pau’s eyes darted across your face as you spoke, and you found it harder and harder to remember all the facts when his eyes kept wandering to your lips.
Maybe he should just tell you.
Your brain was spinning just trying to focus on the topic at hand, but you had enough. “Pau, will you stop. I’m trying to tell a story here.”
The boy blinks, taken aback at your random call out. “What?
“Whatever you’re doing with your eyes, stop. Look away, it’s like.. distracting.” You gulp, why was it distracting in the first place?
Pau nods, he hadn’t even realized what exactly he was doing, so he just avoided your face. That, though, was harder than he thought. All he wanted to do was look at you, to see your face, and now more than ever.
That was the hardest part about him liking you. He was so deeply enthralled with everything you did, having that taken away was horrible. Pau had started to hate away games for the simple fact that he saw you less.
“Okay, but also, this—Pau? Hi?” You wave your hand in front of the teen’s face. “You went off into another planet, did you even get the last part? It was kind of vital.”
“Sorry, I was thinking. Could you repeat?” He looks back at you, and finds his breath catching in his throat. Had you gotten closer? You did look beautiful in the TV lights glow.
You suck in a long breath, “okay. Prepare—“
“I like you.”
Oh.
Silence.
“Huh?”
Another long beat of silence.
Pau’s mouth parts, he didn’t mean to say that out loud. He really didn’t. “Whaaat.. who said that?”
It was your turn for your mouth to fall open, slightly shocked but more.. well. You started laughing. You were choking on your laughter, your hand clutching Pau’s shoulder as your head dipped down to rest on it. He was laughing too, partly humiliated, partly-amused.
When you finally calmed down and look back up at him, you take a deep breath, swiping a hand in front of your face for dramatic effect. “Okay, i’m done. Sorry. Say it again.”
“Uhm… say what?”
“Quit playing with me Pau. Say it again so I can have a serious reaction.” Crossing your legs, you wait for him to speak again.
Pau feels his face grow hot. He really didn’t want to do that. “Do I have to?”
You blink, “what? Did you not mean it?”
His face flattens, “what? No! No, I did mean it… it’s just embarrassing.” He exhales, attempting to calm himself down. He truly did mean it, he just didn’t want to say it without a certain response from you.
His eyes meet yours and he notices the almost hopeful look in your eyes. “I like you.” He says slowly, cautiously.
“I like you too.” You smile, the weight of your once hidden feelings dissolved as the words tumbled off your lips.
Pau’s heart feels heavy with the emotions rushing through it. “Yeah?”
You nod, “yeah.” You weren’t sure what to do next, but truthfully, neither did he. Instead, you both sat there with stupidly wide smiles on your faces and rosy cheeks.
“I wonder if Lamine and Elaine bet on this too.” Pau suddenly blurts, cutting the tension you’d just formed. He laughs nervously, causing you to laugh in turn.
“Probably.” You agree, “maybe we just shouldn’t tell them, not for a bit.”
Pau’s eyebrows pull together, confusion flashing across his face. “Why?”
You shrug, settling into the couch beside him, a bit closer this time. “I dunno, I kind of want to have this to ourself for a little while… not long, but, y’know?”
Understanding what you meant, the boy leans back against the couch, his arm draping over your shoulder’s and pulling you into his side. “Yeah, I don’t mind that.”
You smile against him, your stomach fluttering when you process the boy you’d had feelings for since you were thirteen, liked you just the same. He was finally yours.
Pau sat back too, smiling to himself. This meant he could finally call you his, and vise versa. He’d waited for this moment for a very long time and he was very grateful for his lack of… self control.
likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in any pau posts.
DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby @unx100to !
#pau cubarsi#pau cubarsi x you#pau cubarsi fluff#pau cubarsi one shot#pau cubarsi x reader#pau cubarsi fanfic#pau cubarsi imagine#pau cubarsí#pau cubarsi x y/n#football#blurb#fluff#friends to lovers#fc barcelona#fc barcelona fic#fc barça
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some efforts
FEATURING. GOJO SATORU & GETO SUGURU
CONTENT WARNINGS. mentions of past abuse.
NOTES. got sidetracked by requests and i didn't really put up with this chap. apologies. i swear i only update when someone asks if i'm still continuing this fic.
SYNOPSIS. the awaited date and some memories ruins it for you.
chapters one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve
the bistro was filled with numerous chatters. coming from patrons and customers alike. conversations over good food and the small laughter coming from them. surrounded by the warm glow of the lights like sun rays but more subdued. hitting the wooden interior with its soft light. creating a more laid-back atmosphere where everyone can wine and dine.
you were still on guard. geto sees how you scanned the room more than twice. avoiding eye contact at him and twiddling your fingers in the smallest of manner. he knows you were still wary of him. a bully or a former bully. it sets a bitter taste to his tongue. the knowledge of being one of your tormentors and realizing it later in life how he deeply regretted for hurting you.
he's not his former self anymore. he tells to himself. this date where you reluctantly accepted after many times of convincing you. saying that he'll make up all the years of the misery he caused. proving to you that he's no longer that person who causes you tears and pain but is it when he sees you. sitting across from each other with your gaze who couldn't even look at him and your withdrawn hands not making it nearer to where his rests.
“look at me.” there's tinge of authority in his voice but gentle when he spoke to you. it was like coaxing you to go outside of your box. “can't we unless talk?” rich coming from him who can make you say the filthiest of words while he used to torment you.
“i guess.” you briefly muttered. gathering every nerve to your body to look at him and you die a little bit inside how similar his eyes to his. a complete copy of him but you shake the thoughts. it was just you and him. “thank you for taking me out here.” your eyes briefly landing at the small frame pinned at the door.
a bit distracted and intimidated. gripping your cup filled with tea to prevent from squirming to much. it's not like everyday your former bully would invite least asks you for date. you were reluctant of course but geto is persistent to get what he wants and it earned you.
he picks good. the place didn't scream high-end or some posh place that their menus didn't have a price and the bill ending up as a month's worth of salary.
a ghost of a smile etched in his face at your response. there it is. what he has been waiting for. geto can't help but to admire you. the same round face that used to look at him. there's the softness in it and something new. perhaps determination? he can guess but nonetheless it isn't the time to guess what you're made of now. you've changed just like he is.
before any of you can continue, the waiter arrived with the food you both ordered. placing the plates in front of you and bids you both to have a nice meal.
you began to eat. taking a spoonful of the food and chewing softly. surprised that you managed to work an appetite despite how guarded you feel around him. “you and gojo fucked me up, literally and metaphorically.” you paused in between bites before continuing. “but you two never made me feel bad about eating. i'm kind of glad for that.”
shrugging as you placed your utensils down. taking sip of your beverage. your relationship with food was kind of rocky around in the edges. you never ate in public. afraid of the stares and judgement that strangers give to you when eating and never in front of someone. let alone as cruel as gojo and geto. surprisingly they never made you feel bad about it and encouraged you to eat with them when they're particularly in a good mood. often going as far hand feeding you.
you didn't beat around the bush and geto applauded you for that. it often got you in trouble when you talked back and defy them when you won't do a particular thing they want you to. they were such an asshole to you. “you look happy when you eat. simple gestures like that is hard to come by.”
pouring the creamer in his cup of coffee and adding two sugar cubes. geto stirs it with a spoon. he finds you looking at it. his large hand dwarfing the cup and it was like a teacup rather than a coffee cup.
“is it?” pausing and trying to sink in what he said. somehow your lips curved into a smile. it was rather a pained one. “and you, gojo would take pleasure in hurting me afterwards.” now, you killed the mood. the food gone bland in your mouth. feeling like your eating nails. the memories came flooding and it just made you ache in places. a phantom pain.
putting down your utensils down. your appetite's lost. everything's heavy now just like it was in the first time.
geto freezes at your words. it was like a punch in his gut. you were still stuck at that time but you never made it seem like it affected you and you were doing it just to make thing seems right. for his own comfort.
a pang of guilt hits in his chest. seeing you hung your head low and blinking back the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. he hears you mutter an apology.
he stands up. grabbing the back of his chair and placing it besides you. “hey, it's fine. it was never your fault.” he says, holding your cheek in his hand and forcing you to look at him. “it's been years, sugu. why does it still hurt?” you asked him. peering through your blurred vision of tears pooling at the corner of your eyes. you could have pushed him. recoiled at his touch and when you leaned in. giving up to his touch — you asked yourself why? and you understand it. why some people come back even though they were hurt by the same person and you weren't any different from them cause the best comfort will always come to the one who had hurt you the most.
a stray tear rolls down your cheek. suguru was quick to wipe it with his thumb gentle. cradling your face in his one hand. he looks at you and there wasn't any emotion shown in his face except for the conflicting emotions inside him. pain? guilt? and new emotions he never felt mixes with it and the more he stays with you, the more he feels all of it.
geto wasn't anything remorseful for what he had done. he and gojo had their fun playing around with you and what happened after that night — you disappearing without a trace and shoko's warnings that they shouldn't interfere with your life anymore despite the circumstances that you were working for both of them.
he did fucked you up and reduced you to this mess. the younger him would relish over it but seeing your tear-stained face. he felt worst. everything since you came back is forced. always driving you to a corner and if he really wants to build his relationship with you again. he have to change and he's willing to make it.
the weather's warm. with the slight breeze of wind sweeping throughout the park. the scent of the sakura blossoms wafts in the open air. after that little breakdown of yours earlier. geto decided that you need a breath of fresh air and the park is where he took you.
both of you remained silent. you in the most part. embarrassed at the sudden burst of emotions and thinking that you ruined the supposed date. “i'm sorry.” you softly muttered. glancing at the man besides you.
strands of his hair danced along the rhythm of the wind. he only hums. slowly inching his hands towards you. holding your hands in his. “don't apologize.” reveling in the softness of your hands in his and suguru's mind drifts for a minute. marveling at the sight of your hand in his. if things were just normal and he pursued you in a much kinder approach — is this how you two will be? except for the part where he's the reason why you suffered at his hands.
“i shouldn't have said that.” meeting his gaze and you suddenly felt bothered. “you were making it up to me and i ruined it.” blinking and biting your lower lip in guilt. you should have never brought it up.
geto sighs. he swipes his thumb in your knuckles. the gesture sweet and intimate with gentleness in their touch. “you didn't ruin it. i should thank you for accepting that date. it was pleasant to talk to you about things.....” his words trailed off. referring to what happened three years ago.
you only nod.
“can we start again?” your former bully eyes widened at your suggestion. “no talks of the past and all? just us two adults as friends?” and you have that effect on him. geto isn't easily swayed. it was the opposite he's the one that should be doing this and here you are.
there is no need to know what was his answer. it was a yes. without hesitation.
it was hard to tear his gaze off away from you. despite the earlier dilemma of your sudden outburst everything was going fine after that. you were just eating but why do you look so alluring. your cheeks puffing up in a manner while you ate.
“is something the matter, sugu?” pausing to glance at him and he reached to wipe the cream in the corner of your lip before licking it off with his tongue. your face burns in embarrassment at what he had done before looking away. clutching the hem of your sweater and ignoring the sudden rise of your heartbeat. face warming at the gesture.
geto chuckles at your reaction. his eyes narrowing and his pupils dilating. it is known that there is still the attraction lingering in your body after all the years you're away from them. too used to their touch that your own responds without the will coming from you.
it's going to be sweeter this time pursuing you.
gojo was running impatient.
he has been waiting all day. wondering what happened to the date suguru had scored with you and he did get the full detail of it. geto smirks triumphantly in front of him and gojo felt an annoyance towards him.
“she won't even glance at me, suguru.” he sighs exasperated. running his hand in his hair out of frustration.
“she knows you're in a committed relationship. you're engaged and to sayuri. don't compare (y/n) to your ex-flings and sayuri. she won't do anything that would jeopardize a relationship because of her.” geto explains. he knows all of it. girls didn't care about the others when they really liked someone and when he got the gist of you working under satoru. he quite abandoned the thought of other women. fully commiting to you. trying to get back to your life and make you his.
gojo scoffs. “what's your plan, suguru?” his blue eyes glinting behind his glasses. there's been change of plans. he's not going to woo you anymore. he's going to pursue you.
“nothing really.” he lied. “i know (y/n)'s going to give in to me. anytime if i played my cards right. you should know we're not the only men in her life. we don't know what really happened to her life the last three years.” he didn't lie on that part. geto knows someone in your life is trying to also pursue you. one that you owed deeply.
his friend remained silent. taking a long sigh before going back to his desk. he can hear the cogs running in his brain right now. he's out of it and he just can focus to you and only you. he didn't need to drag his ass to gojo even it was planned from the start that they would have you.
guess he's not sharing you to him.
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#♱ ⋮ shai's works⸝⸝#chubby reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x chubby reader#anime x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#geto suguru#jujutsu geto#jjk angst#geto x reader x gojo
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hiii, how would you feel about a gojo x mreader sports au but they both play on the same team. Like hc’s about reader and gojo who are both on the same basketball team. I always see fics where just he’s on the team but I thought it would be interesting to see one where they both are. thanks!
Now hold on a second….
Gojo x M!Reader on the same basketball team // Hc’s
-!! SFW + NSFW hc’s,— you’re both in college
———☆⋆。𖦹°‧★
✮ Teammate!Satoru, whom you’ve always had the most insane chemistry with. Regardless of on the court or off, everybody knows you two have SOMETHING going on —
Some of the plays you pull off shouldn’t even be possible. You’re like a two man army. The two mvp’s of every team, an unstoppable force.
Varsity ever since freshman year of high school, and now you’re both in college and doing the sport you love most of all
You’re each other’s rocks, always there for one another. When he scores the winning basket you’re the first person he hugs,— full on SPRINTS across the court to get that one high-five from his best mate
You’re pretty much a package deal at this point. Back in high school it was clear to any team recruiter that you both came together- if they wanted one of you, they’d have to take both (which, who wouldn’t want to, honestly?)
✮ Teammate!Satoru, who absolutely adored all the attention. The man was born to be in the spotlight, and reveled in the publicity you both dug up.
You’d be in the middle of practice on a water break, and you best believe Satoru has the latest viral clip of you two playing on his phone, giggling to himself. He’s saved every single edit of your plays, has an entire folder dedicated to them. He’s always super ecstatic to show you them too,
“Ohhh!! Look how cool I was in that one— oh, and there you are- OH DID YOU SEE THAT PLAY?!”
It’s not just edits of your plays though…. He has another folder, which he has dedicated to ship edits of you two. His guilty pleasure would be staying up and mindlessly scrolling through the countless ship videos fans have made of you two. Artwork, from theories, to slowmo clips of you two staring almost lovingly into eachothers’ eyes…. All for shits and giggles though! You two are just super tight homies, that’s all! Right…?
He’d play it off too, make a bunch of jokes like,
“Ha ha, fans really think we’re dating… how crazy is that? I mean, it’s not like we like each other or anything, right? Like, it’d be really funny if we kissed on the court after we win the next game, rather than just hug. It could just be like a little peck on the cheek..— as a publicity stunt, of course! It’d totally go viral— as a publicity stunt.”
(The answer was a big fat no from the media manager, much to Satoru’s disappointment)
And yes, he’s VERY aware of the surplus of fan fiction about you two, he’s probably written half of it
“hey, ever heard of omegaverse-?”
Shit, at this point he might as well have his own ship account of you two
✮ Teammate!Satoru, who is the mortal enemy of your team’s media team, who beg him , above all else, to just watch the shit he posts online. They just don’t want a huge controversy, and the team’s two star players dating eachother?! That’s just a scandal waiting to happen. The news and magazines would go absolutely feral
But, of course, true to classic Satoru style, he just doesn’t listen
His entire Instagram account is just photos of you. Has a heart around your handle in his bio (labeled, ‘my pookie <3’ ,— mf even got down on his knees and begged you to match pfp’s with him
One of his many viral photos is of you in his pinnie, reading in bed (why you were in the same bed, nobody knows)
Another has you two on a vacation in Hawaii, sunbathing with nothing but your boxers, and beach chairs a little too close
Satoru posts all of them with jokes about ‘it ain’t gay with the homies ❤️’ and ‘catching yourself being a lil’ too fruity with bro 😂’ — but it’s gotten so excessive to the point where literally nobody knows if it’s a joke anymore or not (sure as hell don’t look like it…)
He crossed a bit of a line when he posted a picture of him getting a tattoo, of your jersey number. Yeah, the manager chewed him up good for that one.
———☆⋆。𖦹°‧★
✮ Teammate!Satoru, who’ll wait a good extra forty-five minutes for everyone else on the team to pack up and leave, just so he can fuck you in the shower room
He’s just so goddamn desperate, he’s turning all the showers on, and it still isn’t enough to mask the lewd noises you two make. Breathy moans, skin slapping,— it’s so hot in there, and Satoru knows it’s not from the steaming water coming from above.
After everybody from the team left, Satoru all but ripped his uniform off. Resorting to using the fucking 3-in-1 shampoo all the other guys use as lube, he’s quick to push himself inside of you.
He tore up the court last game, and for his reward he now gets to tear up you.
“Atta’ boy… hah.. fuck- .. fuck— ah.. did you see my winning shot today..? Ah.. hah.. it was so good, wasn’t it..-?”
He loves it when you wear his jersey while he does it too. He loves it even more if you let him wear yours.
—————————-—☆⋆。𖦹°‧★——————————
#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x male reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru smut#gojo smut#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jjk x male reader#x male reader
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It took me half a year and two relistens but I finally finished timestamping this! I've also added some annotations cause this took up a decent chunk of my life and I think I deserve to give my little comments as a treat (and also cause I found some fun stuff in the transcripts while looking for these). Outtakes aren't in the transcripts, so all of those were a special little hell for me to find.
Episode names with a * next to them mean that they're from that episode's outtakes.
Start-00:22 (RQG 81 - Breakfast with Dessert)
This soundclip lowkey drove me insane. I knew that it was from the group's journey across Newton's office, but Hamid's "I don't recognize this, which opera's it from?" is miswritten in the transcript so cntrl-f couldn't find it and everyone's singing is literally written out as "do do do do do" so cntrl-f was useless for that too. I ended up just listening to those couple of episodes on 2x speed until I found this clip...
00:22-00:26 (RQG 214 - Guivres)
00:26-00:39 (RQG 41 - Chariots and Catacombs)
00:39-00:43 (RQG 34 - Le Gai Paris!)
00:43-00:57 (RQG 106 - Special Delivery)
00:57-01:03 (RQG 211 - The Writer's Tale)
01:03-01:05 (RQG 136 - Trouble at the Top*)
They're talking about fanart someone did of Grizzop where they 1) made him sexy (of course) and 2) gave him Ben's hair (why). I'm not sure if this is the exact fanart they were referencing here, but it is indeed cursed
01:05-01:12 (RQG 35 - The Exposition Box)
01:12-01:18 (RQG 38 - Brutor Is...)
01:18-01:20 (RQG 110 - Cracking Up)
01:20-01:27 (RQG Into the Wilds pt. 2)
They're talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger
01:27-01:44 (RQG 41 - Chariots and Catacombs)
01:44-01:46 (RQG 74 - Upstairs Downstairs)
01:46-01:48 (RQG 137 - Lightning Round*)
Ben uses his Elias voice for crimes
01:48-02:11 (RQG 153 - The Chatter Box)
02:11-02:16 (RQG 93 - The Curse!!!)
Ben's "A what?" sounded so much like his Zolf voice that I kept going through the Paris arc trying to find this clip, only to realize during a relisten that it was an entirely different arc that didn't even have Zolf in it. Also, the number of exclamation marks in the title is different between the episode listing on Spotify and the transcript header
02:16-02:21 (RQG 34 - Le Gai Paris!)
02:21-02:23 (RQG 136 - Trouble at the Top)
02:23-02:45 (RQG 48 - Ctrl Alt Destroy!*)
02:45-03:00 (RQG 110 - Cracking Up)
In between this clip and the previous pump hole one, Alex mentions that Ben's been saying "pump hole" a lot outside of recording. Why we'll never know. Also, here's the full pump hole bit from that episode
03:00-03:15 (RQG 211- The Writer's Tale)
03:15-03:19 (RQG 74 - Upstairs Downstairs)
03:19-03:27 (RQG 100 - Disappearing Act)
03:27-03:33 (RQG 214 - Guivres)
I forgot how funny the finale was
03:33-03:42 (RQG 93 - The Curse!!!)
03:42-03:45 (RQG Post-Campaign Q&A pt. 1)
This is about Grizzop
03:45-04:08 (RQG Into the Wilds pt. 3)
04:08-04:14 (RQG 41 - Chariots and Catacombs)
04:14-04:17 (RQG 93 - The Curse!!!)
04:17-04:26 (RQG 110 - Cracking Up)
This is another clip that took me absolutely forever to find. I literally ctrl-f'd "erotic" and "sexy" for every single episode and still couldn't find this until a relisten. Also, it's from a section where they're discussing what new stuff they got from leveling up, and is immediately preceded by Ben telling Bryn, "Oh, sorry - shh, shut up, it's still Ben Time!"
04:26-04:34 (RQG 106 - Special Delivery)
04:34-04:41 (RQG 46 - Theseus' Ship)
After listening to the show so many times I honestly forgot how ridiculous Mr. Ceiling's name was at first
04:41-04:44 (RQG 61 - Skyships and Harlequins)
Fun fact: Bryn's "No!" is so high-pitched that it's misattributed to Lydia in the transcripts
04:44-05:15 (RQG 110 - Cracking Up)
05:15-05:20 (RQG 212 - Final Rest)
05:20-05:41 (RQG 40 - Wheels Within Wheels)
05:41-05:54 (RQG 91 - Can't We All Just Get Along*)
05:54-06:00 (RQG 217 - Last Stand)
06:00-06:17 (RQG 123 - Plane and Simple)
06:17-06:24 (Metacast 7: Longplay)
Helen's cut-off line at the end there is, "Let's not go there because remember that time he shaved it off and we were all like, 'UGHAHUHAHUUU!'"
06:24-06:29 (RQG 28 - Not So Hard Time)
06:29-06:34 (RQG 93 - The Curse!!!)
06:34-06:38 (RQG 48 - Ctrl Alt Destroy!*)
06:38-06:50 (RQG 106 - Special Delivery)
06:50-06:57 (RQG 212 - Final Rest)
06:57-07:07 (RQG 36 - Contracts and Calculators)
07:07-07:13 (RQG 139 - Blobs, Spikes, Spiders, & Booms)
This was the last clip I found. The surprisingly high number of encounters with oozes and goos and the fact that Bryn's line doesn't really have any words that are easy for me to ctrl-f efficiently meant I just had to catch this on a relisten. Also, this is, of course, about Zolf's nudity
07:13-07:41 (RQG 141 - All the Way Down)
Here's the full clip for this (really, it just includes Bryn saying, "I bless the rains down in Africa," in his best Elias impersonation)
07:41-07:47 (RQG 110 - Cracking Up)
07:47-07:57 (RQG 209 - Shades of Red)
07:57-08:03 (RQG 218 - Erasing the Line)
08:03-08:14 (RQG 217 - Last Stand)
Helen calling Ben and Alex by their full names when she's upset with them is one of my favorite bits
08:14-End (RQG 110 - Cracking Up*)
a serious podcast.
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Some words about Diego and Lila Hargreeves.
Lots of you is young and/or never been married and it really shows. In a lot of ways, i'm like Lila. Almost the same age as her, two kids, SAHM for five years. I don't have superpowers and i was neven an assasin, but apart from that, yeah.... And let me tell you, if my husband treated me like Diego treated Lila, i wouldn't need seven years in interdimentional limbo to leave the marriage.
So, here are married woman thougths about their marriage, in no particular order.
Diego is missogynist. That one was apparent in season one already, when he turned off Grace (who He claimed he loved) because she showed one (1!) small malfunction. Makes you think what He would do if his wife got seriously sick.
He didn't say single nice thing to Lila until the last episode, and even then he "changed" because OTHER MAN told him to.
From season two, He showed reluctance in letting Lila take the lead in any form, from dancing together to calling the shots in a life or death situation. This caused them to fight even under active shooting.
Lila was one foot out from beginning of season 4. She was exhausted, overwhelmed, quite literally at the end of her rope. And everytime she tried to comunicate this, she got silenced, her feelings ignored and Diego always twisted her (reasonable) complains into direct attack on his person. They wouldn't worked out long therm without Lila getting pregnant right at the beginning. And the kids only slowed down the inevitable.
We may argue S3 Diego would never (which i digress), but unfortunately, we got what we got and we have to work with canon characterisation.
Seven years is long as time. I don't think people realize how long. Fivelila haters like to act as if they had "typical" affair, but the truth Is far from that. It's longer than Lila and Diego knew each other, and given the circumstances of those seven years, it would be wierder if nothing had happened between them.
Lila has way more in common with Five, than she has with Diego.
Woman have the right to leave unhappy marriage. Your kids are your number one responsibility (which Lila demonstrated over and over), but you don't have to sacrifice yourself to be a good mother. She didn't mention coming back to Diego, it was always about coming back to her children.
I came across the argument why would Lila hate her suburban life with Diego, but love her cottagecore life with Five. This boils down to who you live this life with. Her unhapiness wasn't rooted in the suburban lifestyle itself, but more in the person She shared that with. Where Diego only saw mother and caretaker, Five saw equal partner. She was happier with Five, because he treated her better.
People call Five a homewrecker, but the home was wrecked long before Five got into the picture.
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Okay okay okay. Lulu and I were talking. About who would be a bad driver and what not and I was gonna write about ALL of them. But I specifically need to talk about Rei.
But I'll give a lil rundown first
Eiden: okay driver. Goes over the speed limit but follows road laws.
Aster: clearly a passenger princess
Morvay: he can't even read road signs lbr
Yakumo: no, well he can, but he rather be a passanger. Too much anxiety. Had a bumper sticker saying 'do t honk I'll cry'
Edmond: following ALL the laws. 100% model driver but you also hate him bc he will drive 5 under the speed limit
Olivine: he's gay and hitting the curb
Quincy: he has a truck but the back is 100% filled with the most random shit and it's never cleaned. Bonus: Topper has really bad road rage and makes Quincy roll down the window so he can cuss at others
Kuya: cannot and will not drive. Is Quincy's passenger princess but he's forced to sit in the bed of the truck.
Garu/Karu: don't you dare put him in the driver's seat. Can't reach the pedals.
Blade: he can...but that doesn't mean he should
Dante: he's a passenger princess. But he has the ability to drive. Doesn't mean he's good
OKAY NOW REI
God he drives a mini van. You know. One of the ones that has third row seating. The destination is 20 minutes away? He's getting there in 14.
The doors are different colors. It's so old..you aren't sure how it doesn't break down. Half of the dash board doesn't work. Every light is on.
Oh. And he doesn't have a license.
Scenario:
Eiden is freaking out because they have to be somewhere in 15 minutes but it's a 35 minute drive. And Rei is like 'oh don't worry I got this' and shove everyone in his van.
The set up:
Rei, driving obvs.
Kuya is in the passenger seat bc princess.
Quincy is in the seat behind Rei
Dante is in the seat behind Kuya, and Garu is on his lap, no working seatbelt.
Olivine is on the floor between the two
Back row is Eiden Yakumo and Edmond, they have one of those lap seatbelt that goes across the whole seat. Eiden is holding Aster (in lil guy form)
Blade somehow squeezed in the now tiny trunk part and is holding Morvay (also in lil guy form)
Rei looks at Kuya and tells him to put his seatbelt on, and Kuya is like "don't tell me what to do" and doesn't... Which Rei planned... because Rei doesn't know how to slow down. His foot is either from the gas or the break. Quincy knows this and is death gripping the seatbelt and making sure Topper is safe.
Rei slams on the breaks and Kuya slams his head off the dash just as Rei intended. This happens at least twice.
Dante is holding onto Garu for dear life who keeps asking to roll the window down.
Edmond is in the back, being held down by Olivine and Eiden
Edmond: KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD
Rei: *holding a mirror to do his make up*
He is the one who somehow is using a hair dryer in his car. Father is actually driving. Rei just uses the pedals.
Dante: your Holiness. Can you start a prayer
Olivine: *already started*
Edmond: I'M MAKING SURE YOUR LICENSE IS SUSPENDED
Rei: if I had a license
Edmond is having a fit
Dante is hoping Garu weighs enough to keep him safe in his seat.
Topper is now up front squeaking out the window and Quincy is telling him to be nice.
Rei: I know a shortcut
It's through the woods where there is no road
BUT. They made it with 2 minutes to spare.
Dante falls out of the car and throws up.
Blade and Garu are the only ones who had fun.
Rei is like "told you I could get us here on time"
Edmond has not stopped yelling for 8 minutes. Kuya's forehead is red from hitting the dashboard. Dante rather stay where they are and walk back then get in that van. Eiden and Edmond are offering to drive back but Rei won't let anyone drive his van. It's literally falling apart. Nothing works. Only he knows how to work it.
#nu carnival#nu carnival eiden#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival edmond#nu carnival olivine#nu carnival quincy#nu carnival kuya#nu carnival garu#nu carnival blade#nu carnival dante#nu carnival rei#nu carnival aster#nu carnival morvay
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Chapter 1 - The Demon of Vyrantium
This story will have spoilers from the game. Like entire quests. If you don’t want those don’t read this. You have been warned.
Rook x Lucanis
Summary: The gods strike at D’Meta’s Crossing. Neve suggests hiring the Antivan Crows and the most respected mage killer out there, turns out he has problems of his own.
Word Count: 8.9k
Warnings: graphic violence, mentions of slavery, cursing, let me know if I missed something it's so long I lost track
A/N: I told you I’d take more creative liberties with the next one didn’t I ;3
Prologue DATV Masterlist Chapter 2(WIP)
I sat across from Neve and Harding at the circle table in the lighthouse to go over next steps.
“So. We stopped the ritual,” Neve said.
“And Varric paid the price,” Harding answered.
“Hey. Varric made his choice to go talk with Solas. He knew the risks. We all did,” I said.
“And now Solas is… gone. And we’re here, wherever here is—besides in the Fade,” Harding thought.
“Solas called it the lighthouse,” I told them.
“He did?” Neve questioned. “When?”
“While I was out cold. He showed up in my dream, and he’s really mad that we stopped his ritual.”
“Good,” Harding said smugly.
“He’s also trapped in some kind of prison in the Face. Not happy about that either,” I explained.
“You’re sure that wasn’t just a dream? It’s a reasonable reaction,” Neve said.
“Solas can speak with people in their dreams. Even kill them,” Harding told her.
“I’m safe on that front. I bled a little when I got knocked out. Enough that he can gripe at me, but not enough that he can make my head explode.”
“So Solas is using blood magic. Like any normal mage would to play with your mind,” Neve replied.
“But he’s not a normal mage. Like I told you, he’s an elven god,” Harding said.
“Putting together a nice ritual doesn’t make him a god,” she shot back.
“The gods of my people were incredibly powerful,” I interrupted their squabbling. “I don’t mean they were powerful like a skilled mage. I mean they destroyed entire cities. They shattered mountains. So no, they might not literally be gods, but they’re a lot worse than whatever you’re thinking.”
“Alright. Well, we’ve stopped the ritual, and there doesn’t seem to be an immediate danger. For now. You’re certain Solas can’t use blood magic to affect your mind?” Neve asked.
“I’m certain that if he could he already would have, but I’m still pissed at him as ever. I’m not certain of anything else, but we’re not out of danger,” I said.
“What do you mean?” Harding asked.
“Solas had two of the other elven gods imprisoned. When he got trapped, they escaped.”
“So those things we saw come out of the fade when the ritual went wild… those are…” Neve’s voice faded.
“Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain. Two of the ancient elven gods that Solas rebelled against. Solas warned me about them being evil, which is pretty rich coming from the guy who just tried to tear down the Veil,” I said.
“You don’t believe him?” Neve questioned.
“No, that’s the problem. I do believe him. He said they were horrific tyrants.”
“Tyrants so powerful elven history remembers them as gods,” Harding added.
“Solas says Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain drew on the blight for power and became corrupted. That was when he imprisoned them.”
“So instead of one… god… running around, we have two. And they’re not just powerful, they’re blighted,” Neve scowled.
“We need to get out there and stop them,” Harding said firmly.
“Just like that? Without Varric? And you’re still getting back on your feet,” Neve looked over at her.
“I’m fine. We can’t just sit here and do nothing!”
“We need to investigate. Figure out what we’re dealing with before we rush in and make things worse,” Neve told her.
“And how many more people will get hurt—get killed—while we spend time investigating?”
I cut them both off. “If Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain are worse than Solas, we can’t go in blind. We need to know what they can do and what they want.”
“But we only have Solas’s word about all of this,” Harding said.
I shrugged. “Then let’s go investigate for ourselves. We find out what we’re dealing with, and then we take our shot.”
“Fine. The eluvian led us here instead of back to Minrathous.”
“Let’s hope it goes back to the ritual site,” Neve said. “Maybe we can find some clues at the scene of the crime.”
“All right, then. Let’s get back to the ritual site,” I said.
—------------------------------------
The second we stepped through the Eluvian, a group of Veil Jumpers were running at us for their lives. Some kind of old elven construct was chasing them, swinging a massive golden axe at their heads. One of them, a woman, was using her magic on a device in her hands, trying to stop the construct, but it didn’t look to be working.
One of them got knocked to the side against a boulder, groaning from the impact. An older dark skinned elf parried the swings of the mighty axe, giving the girl time to work. The construct swung past the elf, the blade going through the device in the girl’s hands. As the device broke, the construct shut down, falling limp.
Harding seemed to know the older elf and the girl. She addressed them as Strife and Irelin. She told us that she met them with Varric when they first started the hunt for Solas. Veil Jumpers, she said they were called, experts in ancient elven magic.
Strife told us millions of artifacts are being faulty and coming alive because of Solas’s ritual, pointing the finger at us because we were supposed to stop him.
I informed him that we did, in fact, stop him, but Solas was now trapped in the Fade and two of the Evanuris escaped. The Veil Jumpers knew the extent of the horrors the Evanuris caused centuries ago.
“I was really hoping Solas was lying about all of this,” I told them.
Strife frowned. “The god of lies, but some things are sacrosanct, even to him. He might be a bastard, but he’s a damned sight better than the Evanuris.”
I snorted. “No kidding.”
They still had dozens of Veil Jumpers unaccounted for, but Irelin said if we could find Bellara Lutare it would be a massive assist. Apparently, she was the best there is at working with the ancient elven artifacts. She was off looking for one before the ritual shook everything loose.
Harding told them we would go and get Bellara, but I told her to stay behind and help the Veil Jumpers because they needed her. Definitely not because she was still injured and way too stubborn to see sense.
—--------------------------------------
“Protocol is to wait at least a week before sending anyone to look for me, I’ve only been gone for three days,” she said, twisting her hips back and forth in place like a child being scolded.
“Well, things have taken a turn for the worse, I’m afraid,” I told her. “Our gods are back and they’re trying to take over the world.”
“Our gods… I need a moment,” she said.
“Take all the time you need. It won’t help, unfortunately, I’ve known for days and it still hasn’t quite sunk in yet,” I replied.
“That is quite a predicament.” She sighed, looking around. “All right, but I need your help first, I’m on to something big here.”
“Just tell me what you need,” I smiled.
“We’ll take what we can get,” Neve told her.
As it turned out, Ancient Elven ruins could be tricky. Barriers and old mechanical devices that were rare in these times. Luckily, it was pretty straightforward to figure out and Bellara was a great help finding our way through the ruins. Whatever work she had done with elven ruins and artifacts would definitely come in handy.
It was all fine and dandy when we found what we were looking for, except for the ogre that decided to pay us a visit and try to wreck our shit.
A lot of its attacks I could parry or at least redirect. Some I could only dodge, and I spent most of the fight doing so, shooting firebolts in between its attacks.
It finally fell, and I sheathed my dagger, fighting to regain my breath.
Bellara found what she was looking for, the “Nadas Dirthalen” or the eighth archive or the archive spirit. Pick whichever you want to describe it, it was an artifact crafted with the knowledge of the gods and it could give us information we might need. If she could fix the crystal, that is.
We headed back to the Veil Jumper camp and they told us one of the towns they work closely with had gone dark. A place called D’Meta’s Crossing. With everything going on, it likely wasn’t a coincidence. Harding rejoined the three of us and we boarded a boat to go check it out.
—----------------------------------
D’Meta’s Crossing was on the far side of the lake. It was bleak when we approached on the water.
“This isn’t right,” Bellara said. “The dock usually has people bringing goods to market, bartering and shouting… It’s always busy.”
“Stay sharp,” I said as I climbed out of the boat.
The main entrance to town was barricaded. Clearly not to keep anything out. We moved to the side, seeing a smaller barricade. I pulled myself over it, eyes going wide as I dropped down. The place reeked, and there was blight everywhere. These masses, they looked like rotting tumors, not the decay or stagnation of the normal blight, this was alive.
There were cysts that popped like blisters when fired at or hit with anything and exploded. The second I stepped foot in this place I felt I needed a shower.
We moved further in, sticking close together. There was a villager standing by a home completely taken over with the blight.
His face was drained of all color and his eyes were black. “What happened here?”
He stared at me. Well, through me. “Keep them inside. Listen to the mayor.”
My brows furrowed. I waved a hand in front of his face. Unresponsive. “What’s controlling them? Blood magic? The blight?”
We moved deeper in. The town square was even worse for wear. There were bodies everywhere taken over by the blight-cysts. We continued on, keeping an eye out for survivors. There was no one that the blight hadn’t taken over, either their bodies or their minds.
We came to a part of town blocked off by a wall of the blight. A bright red bulb pulsated at the center of it. I shuddered, taking a couple steps back and blasting cold from my fingers to minimize the explosiveness.We had gotten through it, but only a narrow passageway. Squeezing between a corridor of the blight was not on the top of my bucket list.
I would desperately need a bath after this.
We came to the other side and a giant mass of the blight stood in the center. At the center of it looked like a person was being held there.
“Mihlva!” Bellara gasped, running over to one of the bodies.
“One of your fellow Veil Jumpers?” I asked, watching the blight tendrils wrap around them and pull them away. I moved to the mass at the center. The man in it was moving. “Bellara!”
She looked over. “Jahel! He’s alive!”
“Bellara?” The man groaned.
“We’re going to help you… we’ll get you down, Jahel,” Bellara said.
A tendril snaked around his neck. “No… listen. The gods… the gods have returned. I saw… them. I heard their voices.”
“The gods did this?” Bellara questioned, panic evident in her voice.
“A blood ritual,” he said. “To release the blight. The villagers… they said they needed power… Bellara… be careful…” That tendril looped around his neck twice over, caressing his lips as he spoke before tightening around his throat.
His body was strangled, blood spilled to the cobbled streets, the blight pooling at our feet. The ground shook, and I heard someone shout for help.
We ran through the remains of the village, shooting down the blight we could along the way. Coming through an archway of it, we came out to the other side of the village. A man was wrapped in barbed fleshy pink tentacles, a writhing mass of the blight.
“Help me! Hurry!” He yelled, panicked.
The ground shook and a dragon shot up into the sky, screeching as it landed, crushing debris underfoot.
“No! Please!” The man yelled as the writhing mass drew tighter around him. I looked between him and the dragon, feeling my chest tighten. I stepped forward, putting two fingers to my lips to produce a loud whistle.
It took a step toward me, and I stared it down as embers floated from its mouth. After a moment, as though fighting a command, I watched it back off and fly into the horizon, roaring as it went.
I took a breath, approaching the man in the mass.
“I know you,” Bellara said. “You’re the mayor of this town.”
“The village… the people… are they…?”
“Blighted. Dead. All of them,” Harding said.
“You gave them to the gods, didn’t you? Didn’t you?” Bellara spat.
The mayor sobbed. “They were in my head… infecting my thoughts. They made me do it… Please, help me!”
“Deep breaths… Tell me what happened,” I said gently. If it really was blood magic he may not have been acting completely of his own will.
“I tried to protect people. You have to believe me. The gods told me to lure the Veil Jumpers to the center of town. The others were to be rounded up and kept safe. They would be the first to witness the glory of Ghilan’nain’s new creation… She showed me gold. So much gold…”
“So you brought the Veil Jumpers to the middle of town…” I said.
“For a blood sacrifice!” Bellara cut me off.
“Because the gods needed power,” Neve concluded.
“Did you know what the gods would do?” I questioned him.
“The Veil Jumpers… they were just strangers. I thought if they were taken first, everyone else might be spared.”
“So you did know!” Bellara yelled.
“The gods exploited his greed and fear,” Neve said.
“I’m supposed to feel sorry for him? I say we leave him right here,” Bellara said.
“But I’ll die. The blight’s everywhere. What if the dragon comes back?” He panicked. “I understand what they do now. I won’t be tempted again! I swear!”
“Rook?” Harding asked.”
I sighed. “Let’s get him out of there.”
“What? This entire village is dead because of him.” Bellara argued.
“I know.”
“Then why spare him?”
“We don’t kill people. Not like this. We’re not murderers. We’re not like the gods. We are better than them,” I explained. “If we leave him to be a source of their power we’re no better than he is.”
“Thank you… I think,” he said.
“I didn’t ask for your gratitude,” I snapped.
“Then if I may offer some advice: steel yourself. I felt their power, the promises they made. It’s irresistible.”
“Then try harder next time. Don’t make me regret saving you,” I said firmly.
“Yes, of course. But you should be worried about the rest of the world. Or this will be our future.”
—---------------------------------
We made our way back to the Veil Jumper camp. We were speaking with them when an old friend of the Inquisition, Morrigan, made an appearance. She told us to find Solas’s ritual dagger and that the eluvian at the lighthouse should go anywhere there is an existing eluvian. Bellara offered to come with us to fix it.
I just wished Varric was here to give better advice. He was always stronger at speeches than I was. Doing this without him to guide me felt wrong.
Neve, Harding, and I made our way back to the ritual site. After a wild goose chase after a darkspawn that stole the dagger, and watching Harding get possessed by some kind of new strange dwarf magic—which doesn’t exist, mind you—I was ready for a nap.
We came back to the Lighthouse and talked about Harding’s new abilities. I encouraged her to explore them but be wary. It wasn’t like any magic I’d seen before, and dwarves didn’t have any connection to the Fade, so it was completely new territory.
I went up the stairs, seeing a new area branched next to the hall leading to the infirmary. I could hear Varric snoring from here. At least I knew he was still alive.
I headed down that hall, pushing the door open to see an aquarium of sorts. There was a bookshelf to the right and a wardrobe to the left. In the center of the room was a chaise lounge with a bookcase behind it.
I saw my pack sitting in front of that bookshelf. Neve or Harding must’ve brought my pack in here. It made sense, it was a better place to sleep than the infirmary. I suppose I could spare a few moments to unpack my things.
I pulled Varric’s shaving mirror out, placing it on the bookshelf behind where I would be sleeping. Varric and his life lessons. I asked him how we were supposed to stop Solas, and he gave me the mirror.
“Take a long hard look in it, kid. It’ll always show the face of a hero who can get it done,” he said.
I don’t know if I see a hero’s face, but it’s a face that has seen a lot. Got a few new scars. Some that show up in a mirror, some that don’t. But Varric believed in me then, and he believes in me now. I can do this.
I moved to the small armoire on the right side of the room, placing an elven scroll down. A peddler gave it to me after I saved his caravan from bandits. He said the scroll went back to even before Tevinter. Said that elves had a rich history, “even more than the rest of us.”
Too many humans look down on us, even though elves were here first. It was nice to have someone see how much our people have done. I just wish I could’ve been a part of it.
On the opposite side from the mirror, I put my broken chains. I helped a lot of Minrathous slaves escape to freedom the night I met Varric, including my mother. Freed only to be killed in the chaos. Another time Varric had shown up for me. I remembered his hand on my shoulder as I wept over her.
“Come on, kid. It’s time to go. I’m sorry.”
Then the magisters cracked down in retaliation, and the Shadow Dragons decided I was too much trouble to keep around. We could have taken a stand and dared the magisters to come after us. At least people are free because of what I did.
I sighed, brushing my fingers over the cold metal before going to sit in the chaise lounge. Carefully, I laid back, letting my eyes drift shut. I was wound tight despite my exhaustion. I don’t know how long it took me to actually fall asleep.
I woke in the Fade, Solas’s voice already penetrating my thoughts. “Back so soon. It must have been worse than I thought.”
“Hello, Dread Wolf.”
“Ah, but perhaps I am mistaken. You may be here to correct me, to tell me that my concerns were unfounded. I am, after all, remembered as the god of lies, treachery, and rebellion.”
Haunted, hopeless, hurting… a voice nagged at the back of my head. No, not nagged. Soothed.
“So you’re gonna be insufferable about it. See, this is the reason nobody likes you,” I told him.
“I led a rebellion for centuries that culminated the creation of the Veil and the destruction of the elven empire.”
“Okay, this is among the reasons nobody likes you,” I corrected.
“My information was accurate. Now you realize that the danger is real.”
“I need to know what the gods are planning,” I said plainly.
“You are asking for knowledge no mortal in this world is privy to,” he replied. “If I am to share it with you, I need to know what makes you the right person to lead the fight against Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain.”
“Well, for starters, I’m the only one here,” I said, throwing my arms out and looking around the desolate prison. “And I stopped you, didn’t I?”
“You disrupted the ritual.”
“Yeah, I did. Even though I’m nowhere near as powerful as you. Even though I’m just a slave.”
His brow furrowed, and I saw him blink as the only hint of surprise. “You were a slave?”
“Yeah. Varric said you hated slavery. I suppose that’s one thing we can agree on.”
He only nodded. “Your plan is to tell me how powerful you aren’t?”
“I met Varric when he asked the Shadow Dragons for help with freeing an old friend from Venatori slavers. The Shadow Dragons had a safe plan that wasn’t going to work, and Varric wasn’t the only one with something to lose if we failed.”
“So you and Varric led an armed rebellion and dealt a devastating blow to the Venatori,” he finished for me.
“You did your research,” I said, looking him up and down.
“I would’ve been a fool not to. You and Varric were pursuing me for the better part of a year. I needed to learn who was hunting me.”
“Then you obviously also know that powerful opposition doesn’t frighten me. I find a way to get the job done, whatever it takes.”
“I suppose I was not so different when I started.”
“No,” a voice said, inches from me and lightyears away all at once. “You were not different. You are not different.” The voice of a friend.
“Cole.” Now, I did see the Dread Wolf’s surprise evident in his expression. “How did you…”
“You are trapped,” he said. “She is hopeless, haunted, hurting, just like before. Escaped one master just to be fighting another. You are not different,” Cole said, looking up at Solas. “Hello, Solas.”
“Hello Compassion,” Solas dipped his head in greeting. “It has been an age.”
“You left the Inquisition to free us, but it didn’t work. Instead you freed them. The Evanuris.”
“Someone got in my way,” Solas leveled a condescending glare at me from his high horse—or at least his slightly higher piece-of-floating-rock.
“People were dying. I heard their screams,” Cole said. “The Veil needs to stay.”
“Oookay, this is all fine and good, but what are you doing here, Cole?” I asked, turning to him. “I thought I’d seen the last of you when Dorian freed me?”
“I felt the Veil weaken, and I knew. I knew it was Solas behind it, I always knew, even when he didn’t want me to, even when he hid it from everyone else. I went back to that place where it’s still weakest, and I felt your despair. I followed it here.”
“The gods need two things to reclaim their dominance of the world,” Solas interrupted, clearly growing bored. “First, the blight. What exists in this world is a bare fragment of its power. The rest is imprisoned… until they release it.”
“What would they need to do to free the blight, and how do we stop them from doing it?” I asked.
“They will need to pierce the Veil to reach the blight’s prison. My lyrium dagger is one of the few artifacts capable of doing so.”
“We’ve already recovered it from the ritual site.”
“Excellent,” I could’ve sworn he almost looked proud, but I doubted the smug bastard was capable. “Then they will have to make their own. That will give you time. The second is followers. They have called themselves gods, and what is a god without worshipers to sing their praises?”
“I’m not gonna bend a knee to blighted murdering monsters just because their ears are pointed like mine. I don’t think many other elves are going to either.”
“Agreed. Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain care little for the elves. They will find worshipers among those hungry for power. Tyrants and bullies. The cruel and corrupt, who fear their own vulnerability and seize any chance to feel strong. If you hunt them, they will lead you to Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain.”
I laughed without humor. “You want me to pick fights with tyrants and bullies? Sounds fun.”
“I gave no orders. All I can offer are suggestions.”
“I’m on it. What else?”
“The Vi’Revas, the Lighthouse eluvian, can take you anywhere, if you master its secrets. Have you done so?”
“Not yet, but we’ve got one of the Veil Jumpers working on it. She’ll get it sorted, and we’ll see how it goes.”
“Yes. I suppose we will. And when you speak with Varric, please tell him that I… regret what happened.”
Cole put his hand on my arm, and the world spun for a moment before I opened my eyes. We were in a grove, the stars above us, trees towering around us.
“Woah.” I put a hand to my head. “Where are we?”
“The Fade.”
“Right…” I took a seat in the grass with a sigh.
Cole crouched down, fingers fidgeting with the blades of grass. “You feel heavy again. Like before.”
“Varric picked me up to help him, but I disrupted the ritual, Varric got hurt, and the gods escaped. That doesn’t much feel like helping.”
“Varric used to help me. He wanted me to understand things, I think.”
“I don’t know how to lead, Cole. I’m barely used to being in charge of my life.”
“You’re already leading,” he said simply. His head bowed, and he glanced back behind him, as though listening for something. “They need you, it’s time to wake up.”
I gasped sitting upright, my chest heaving and my palms sweaty. I hadn’t seen Cole in years. Not since I was a slave. Not since I was at my lowest in life. Shit…
I needed to talk to Varric. I wiped my hands on my pants, standing with a huff. Having Solas in my head might prove to be more hindrance than help if he wouldn’t let me sleep in peace.
I made my way out, rubbing out the kink in my neck, hoping he might be awake. If not, I would let at least one of us get some restful sleep.
I approached him, sitting on the end of the bed, legs crossed opposite where he was sitting up against a pillow.
“So Solas told the truth about the gods,” he said as I sat down.
“You heard? It’s bad, Varric,” I shook my head. “If you’d seen D’Meta’s Crossing…”
“The team needs to act fast… and it can’t do that with me leading from a bed,” he said. “You’ve gotta take point on this.”
My chest tightened. “I can’t do what you do. I’ve barely been holding it together in the short time you’ve been out.”
He shook his head. “You don’t need to do what I do. You just need to get it done. Rook, when I put this team together, what did I look for? A detective to find the Dread Wolf and a scout to get us the lay of the land. Exactly the people he’d expect me to recruit. Disciplined. Predictable. And then there’s you. Remember when we first met, kid?”
“Of course I do.”
“You risked your neck to bring down an entire slavery ring. Pretty much by yourself,” he grinned.
“I had help.”
“Sure. I got winded about five minutes in. You did most of the work. Ticked off a bunch of Minrathous big shots, but… You’ve got a knack, kid.”
I hugged my knees to my chest. “A knack for what? Almost dying?”
“Exactly. You’ve got a knack for finding a way through the wildest shit I’ve ever seen. With a plan that no one expects. You can do this,” he said with a softness in his eyes I’d only ever really seen when it was just us. The protective kind. “And don’t worry. I’ll still be here to talk if you need me.”
“There is something… D’Meta’s Crossing was awful. While we were there, we found one survivor—the mayor.”
“You took him back to the Veil Jumpers,” he said. Harding must’ve filled him in.
“Not everyone was happy about my decision…” I told him. “We’re just starting out and I’m already losing their trust.”
Varric sat up a little straighter. “The key to earning the team’s trust isn’t to only make decisions everyone agrees with. It’s showing the team that they can tell you whatever’s on their mind, even if they think you’re full of crap, and know you’ll listen. It’s showing them that you’re capable of making the hard decisions, even if they don’t agree.”
“When I took over at the ritual site, I had to make a call on who came with me to knock over that statue. It was the first decision I made leading this team, and Harding got hurt because of it.”
“You made a decision with the best information you had. Sometimes you do that, and people end up hurt. Or worse,” he said simply.
“What would you have done?” I asked.
“What would I have done? Probably gotten myself killed and failed to stop the ritual if you hadn’t stepped in,” he laughed. “A good leader isn’t someone who never makes mistakes: It’s someone who admits when they make one. That’s how you earn their trust.”
“Did Neve tell you about me talking to Solas in the Fade?” I asked.
“I had some good arguments with Chuckles back in the day. I can’t imagine being stuck with him in my head. But how are you feeling about it?” He asked.
“Your old friend is kind of an asshole, Varric.”
He chuckled. “I’d love to be a fly on the wall while the two of you get into it. Solas fought a rebellion against Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain. He didn’t want to be a god. But he’s also a lot older and more powerful than any of us. He looks at us like we’re toddlers.”
“So how do I deal with him?”
“Act like you’re as smart as he is, and he’ll be insufferable. Show him you respect his age and experience, and he’ll remind you he’s just a man. Honestly, pick whichever of those pisses you off less,” he grinned.
“He also asked me to tell you that he regrets what happened. Hurting you, I mean,” I told him, letting my knees fall back to either side.
“Chuckles is sentimental. He could burn the world down, and the thing that would make him cry is a single flower with blackened petals.”
“He seems the type. Cole visited me. I know last time I told you about him you said he was with the Inquisition. He came to my dream with Solas too, and he looked almost… regretful, if you could even call it that.”
“Well, shit. How’s he doing? What was he doing?” Varric asked, shifting slightly.
“Apparently, he sensed my despair when he was checking out the ritual site because of how thin the Veil is there. He followed it back to me.” I sighed, standing and brushing myself off, whatever invisible dust there was. “I’ll let you rest.”
“You’re gonna be fine, Rook. Hey, one last thing before you go,” he said. “I’ve been racking my brain thinking of contacts who might help us with these gods.”
“You got any ideas?”
“Nothing. But being a leader isn’t about having all the answers yourself: It’s about knowing who does. Neve has connections to a whole world that Harding and I barely know. A world you barely got the chance to learn. Might be worth talking to her.”
“Will do. Thanks, Varric,” I offered him a smile. One of the few I was sure I would be able to give in the coming days.
“Any time, kid.”
I closed the door behind me so he could rest as I made my way out to Neve’s floating office. She told me we needed to hire the Antivan Crows, but specifically their most feared mage killer. The Demon of Vyrantium. I had heard of his work, and most of us in the wards and servants’ quarters revered his assassinations of our masters. They had given us plenty of reasons to side with the trained killer over them.
Neve said she set up a meeting with their bosses. Next, she said that we needed to take a trip back home. The Shadow Dragons of course made sense to take out the gods in the capital city of Tevinter where blood magic was strongest. We had done so much work against it and the Venatori, but I was a bit worried about seeing them again after the stunt I pulled. We trained to be the best at countering evil magic, it was time we proved it. Hopefully together this time and not just me and Varric.
The Antivan Crows seemed our best bet to start off. I wasn’t ready to go back to Minrathous yet. Not after everything.
Neve and I made our way down to the Vi’Revas, the eluvian, where Bellara was working. We watched her tinker with it for a moment before it lit up, showing the path to what Morrigan called The Crossroads. A spirit appeared beside it in tattered blue robes. Though I tensed instinctively, I felt nothing malicious from it.
“The wolf’s fang. You carry it now. Old paths. A new journey. Through there. I will wait,” he gestured to the eluvian before fading away.
When we entered, the spirit introduced itself as the caretaker who goes where they are needed. The Crossroads was a beautiful place in the fade. Paths branched out, the caretaker guiding us in a levitating boat to each island of Eluvians. This place was slowly becoming tainted, though. I could feel the blood magic and blight like invisible eyes or a forgotten touch. It caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end.
We made it to the eluvian leading to Treviso after killing some Venatori trying to take over the crossroads. Neve and I glanced at each other before stepping through. Treviso… One of the finest cities in Antiva, or so I’d been told. It was now under occupation by the Antaam. Hopefully our contact would still be able to meet us.
Neve and I made our way to the coordinates given to us, seeing a petit woman leaning against the railing of the bridge. She looked over as we approached.
“Welcome to Antiva. You must be Rook. Follow me,” she said, running off, leaving me to follow in her wake.
“And you’re Andarateia Cantori. Of the Crows?” I asked.
“Teia, please. Come, my associate Viago is gathering the others.”
We ran through the streets of Treviso, through the market and up the lattice on the side of a building. From there, we ziplined to a casino, the headquarters of the Crows.
“Welcome to the Cantori Diamond,” Teia said as we went up the stairs to the right.
As soon as I entered, I felt as though I was going to be interrogated, stripped of my valuables and tossed to the streets, if the expression of the woman eyeing me and the cane in her hand were anything to say for it.
Teia took up her spot on the left, a man with a very well groomed mustache to the right of her, followed by the older woman in the throne, and on her other side a younger man who looked way too charming for anyone’s good.
The man next to Teia spoke. “You’re the client?”
“This is Rook,” Teia said with a smile. “Did you want a drink? I promise not to let Viago near it.” It struck me how pretty she was. And the man next to her.
“Viago de Riva. Fifth Talon,” he introduced. “And this is Caterina Dellamorte. First Talon of the Crows.” He gestured to the woman in the throne.
“An honor. And you are?” I asked, glancing at the man beside her.
“Illario Dellamorte. Her grandson. What brings you here?” He asked.
“Right,” I took a breath. “My target is a pair of elven gods—or that’s what they call themselves. They’re ancient blighted mages. My detective says you have a man who brought blood mages and Venatori to their knees.”
“Lucanis,” Caterina said. “My grandson. They called him “the Demon of Vyrantium.” He was the one who did those jobs.”
“Sounds like there’s more to it,” I said carefully, tilting my head.
“Lucanis Dellamorte is dead. He was killed a year ago, now,” Viago said solemnly.
“What I say doesn’t leave this room,” Caterina said slowly. “The body our people brought back was not my grandson. It was dressed in his clothing, but it had been altered with blood magic to have his face.”
“My cousin is still alive?” Illario questioned. “And you didn’t think to tell me?” Something was off about Illario. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew that I would rather have dealings with Teia and Viago more than him in the future if we had any at all.
“His ship was attacked,” Viago interrupted my thoughts. “We knew someone sold him out… so you kept your suspicions to yourself.”
“But you’ve brought it up now. Why?” I asked, looking back to the First Talon.
“I’ve had eyes on the Venatori ever since they took my grandson from me. They were hunting your Dread Wolf. And what you did to his ritual threw them into disarray. They made mistakes. And now I have a location. The Ossuary. Where the Demon of Vyrantium is kept. Find this Ossuary. Free Lucanis. You’ll have your god-killer. And I’ll have my grandson.”
Something about the way she presented him twisted my gut. Like that was all he was, a weapon to be used and discarded. Even not having met him, the thought didn’t sit right with me. I knew what it was like to be seen only for what you could do for other people, and that was not a feeling I wanted for anyone else.
I wondered though, how a mage killer captured by the Venatori would feel about two Tevinter mages freeing him.
Illario led us to our lift to the Ossuary. I was almost relieved when he didn’t get in the boat with us. Surprisingly, he was the only Crow I had met so far that had major stab-you-in-the-back vibes.
We were boated out to the middle of the sea, the Crow mage with us parting the waters below us to grant us passage to the underwater prison. When we got there, bodies littered the sand, bloodstains running red. We passed over two dozen bodies as we made our way through the prison.
It seemed to have been some ancient elven ruins before being repurposed. It was a wonder it still functioned. If the wards on this place ever broke…
I didn’t want to think about what could’ve happened when the gods got released. I was more relieved I didn’t have to be the one fending off all the guards. We came to a Venatori barrier with three crystals connected to it that I beamed fire at before the barrier fell. A large corridor led down a set of stairs where a group of Venatori gathered.
“We don’t have to fight. We’re just here for Lucanis Dellamorte.” The mage in the center slammed his staff into the ground, the wisps of red blood magic gathering around its tip. “Get ready,” I said to Neve, who braced for a fight.
“Razikale, Dragon of Mystery. Lusacan, Dragon of Night. Hear your faithful call—”
A man in blue leathers flipped down from seemingly out of thin air, black and purple glowing wings sprouted from his back as he fell. He grappled the mage, pulling him as he spun so that the Venatori next to him stabbed straight through his comrade’s gut. He ducked as another sword came at him, kicking the Venatori in the gut. The cultist flew backward, impaling on one of the ice spikes surrounding us.
The man sprinted at the other two, a dagger in one hand and a rapier in the other. In a flash that was barely visible, he spun, slitting both of their throats before turning and putting his sword through the final cultist’s back.
He stood with his back turned to us, chest heaving. My eyes were wide. “I’m guessing you’re the reason we’re here,” I said carefully.
His wings flapped and dissipated as he turned back toward us. “Who are you? Who sent you?” He asked, the thick accent of Antiva coming through in his voice.
Something about his presence was calm, assured, even though he just murdered six people before my eyes. It drew me in, and I wasn’t sure I would have the strength to back out.
“My name’s Rook. Caterina sent me.”
“Caterina…” He looked at the ground. “But… you’re not a Crow.” He put his hands on his hips.
“I’m breaking you out of here,” I told him. “But… you’re not just you. Care to introduce me to your friend?”
“Rook. He’s possessed by a demon,” Neve said carefully.
“It’s complicated,” Lucanis said with a slight shrug.
“Caterina promised us a mage killer if we could get you out of here,” I told him.
“I can still work,” he assured me.
“Good,” I smiled. “Cause I’m pretty sure more Venatori are on their way. We have to get moving.”
“They have a vial of my blood. They can use it to control me. I cannot leave it in their hands. And… I had a contract when I was captured. One of my targets is here. Calivan. Crows don’t break contracts,” Lucanis said.
“All right, we’ll help. But in return, I need help killing some things,” I told him.
“I’ll owe you,” he said slowly.
“I’m sure we’ll owe each other before this is all over. Let’s go.”
We made our way back through the prison, coming to a huge gap that none of us would be able to jump across.
“What are you—Fine. He says he can help. There is something in the Fade close enough to grab onto.”
I watched Lucanis’s wings come out, energy flowing from his hands and a large piece of floating cobblestone came into being. “All of that… came from the Fade?”
“I’m as surprised as you,” Lucanis said honestly.
Eventually, we came to a room protected by at least six of the Venatori’s crystals powering the barrier. Behind it, was a massive garnished vial of blood. “Yeah, they can’t do anything subtle, can they?” I asked, aiming a beam of flames at it, making it explode on impact.
Through a close-by archway, there was a lift. We took it and it led to an audience chamber, a mage standing in the middle of it.
As we approached, Calivan did as all villains do, and started giving a long-winded speech. Something something, Zara said it would be ironic, he’s already the Demon of Vyrantium, now it’s just more literal. Lucanis smirked at me, glancing sidelong as Calivan went on his tangent, and I found myself smiling back. Something something she always leaves him to clean up the mess.
Maybe he should’ve picked someone better to follow.
I put my hands together, feeling the energy build between them as I loosed a death ray of fire and lightning right at his face. That’ll shut him up, surely.
Lucanis blinked at me as Calivan fell to his knees. “Sorry,” I said impulsively. “I know that was your contract. He was getting on my nerves.”
“Don’t be. Imagine how I feel,” Lucanis said, the corners of his lips twitching up. He spat on Calivan’s body. “The Crows send their regards.”
I glanced down at the ashen body, and when I looked up again I saw a purple version of Lucanis standing right beside him, and I blinked.
“The contract is done,” Lucanis said.
“Smells like blood. Ashes. Not done. Not yet,” The purple man said. From what I was sensing, this was his demon. Though he was closer to a spirit, not quite monstrous yet. I opted to ignore him for now. Not drawing attention to it was likely safer at least for the moment.
Lucanis just stared at him blankly. “Lucanis? Are you alright?” I asked.
“Careful, they know. We’re not right.”
“You cannot see him. I wondered,” he said, putting his hands on his hips.
“We clearly have things to discuss. Somewhere else,” I told him.
“Agreed. I think… it’s time I got some air.”
—--------------------------------------------
Back at the Cantori Diamond we found Teia and Viago looking at Illario who was leaned over against the table, breathing heavily. The two of them turned around and Teia’s face went whiter than I thought possible.
“Maker…” She said.
“Lucanis?” Viago’s eyes were wide.
Lucanis looked around at them. “What happened here?” He questioned.
Illario’s fist hit the table, and I flinched instinctively. “A message,” he snarled. “From Zara Renata. I can’t believe it. You’re home.” Illario put a hand on Lucanis’s shoulder.
“Zara… Her people got this close?” Lucanis asked.
“The woman who runs the prison?” I guessed.
“The Venatori witch who captured me,” he answered.
“Revenge for the breakout, maybe,” I said.
“Where’s Caterina?” Lucanis asked, eyes darting around at the three of them frantically.
“She’s…” Teia’s voice broke, and her head bowed with an impossible weight on her shoulders.
Viago came up behind her, hands on her shoulders comfortingly. “The Venatori got her in the confusion.”
“I got one of you back, only to lose the other,” Illario said, sounding devastated. I wanted to feel bad for him, but something still felt off.
“Lucanis…” I said softly. “I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“I need to work,” he said, shifting on his feet.
“Are you sure?” Teia asked. “You should take some time.”
“I don’t need time—I need a target,” he said darkly.
“You just got here, and already you want to leave again?” Illario questioned. How he didn’t understand was beyond me.
“Caterina gave me a contract. I’m not breaking the last deal she ever made. And I owe Rook. Once that’s done… I’ll come home,” he told them.
“I’ll return him in one piece,” I promised.
“Thank you,” Illario smiled at me. “Cousin. When you find Zara, I want—I need—to be there.”
Viago shook his head. “We’re under attack. Antaam on one side and now Venatori on the other? Forget revenge, we need you—”
“No, Viago,” Teia interrupted. “Zara came for us here. In my house. She took Caterina from my house. You find her and cut her heart out, Lucanis. Vi and I will hold down the fort.”
“I’ll give her your regards, Teia,” Lucanis said.
“For Caterina,” she looked around at all of us.
—--------------------------------------
“They’re the same thing. Mostly. Well, kind of,” Bellara said as I walked in.
“Except one will manipulate you. Or kill you. Or both,” Neve replied.
“But how do you get rid of them?” Lucanis leaned against the fireplace, one hand braced against it, the other on his hip.
“What’s everyone talking about?” I asked.
“Spite,” Lucanis looked back over his shoulder at me.
“The demon in Lucanis,” Neve said. “When a person gets possessed—the demon usually takes control.”
“And they turn into a monster. The spirit just… molds them. However they want,” Bellara added.
“I’ve heard of abominations being cured by killing the demon in the Fade. That’s not a sure bet, though,” Neve thought.
“Well, there’s one way. But it’s well… we’d have to, um…”
“You’d have to kill me,” Lucanis finished.
“That can’t be the only solution. Can’t we… reason with Spite, maybe? Persuade him to leave?” I asked.
“Talk doesn’t work on Spite,” Lucanis said.
“She won’t hurt you. How sweet,” Spite crooned, the ghost of his form next to me. He vanished and appeared in front of Lucanis. “I want to talk to her!” Lucanis kept his gaze on me, no doubt seeing my eyes track the demon.
“Before we do, well, that. Let’s think this through some more. There has to be a solution,” Bellara said. I braced my hands against their chairs, leaning over them slightly.
“I have people in Minrathous I can ask, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up,” Neve said.
“All right. So, what’s next?” I asked.
“Let me talk to them! I want. To talk. To Rook!” Spite swung, punching Lucanis in the nose. Blood spattered, and Lucanis winced, his hand going to his nose.
Bellara and Neve stood. “Lucanis!” Bellara cried.
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine,” he said, putting his arm out.
“He’s done this before? Enough that you just… shrug it off?” I questioned, leveling a glare at the aspect of Spite next to him.
“He’d do this in the Ossuary. The Fade does whatever a spirit wants. Real walls and chains, not so much. Just… give me a minute. He’ll get bored once everyone leaves.”
I leveled him with a stare that said I would absolutely not be leaving even as Bellara and Neve got up and left. Neve shot me a glance that said ‘be careful’, but I just nodded to her.
He put his hand back up against the fireplace and stared into the flames as I walked around the table, sliding up to sit on the edge of it.
“I thought you couldn’t see him. At the Ossuary…”
“I didn’t want him to know I could see him. That was the last thing we needed there,” I told him.
“You can hear him too?” He asked, looking back at me with furrowed brows.
“When I can see him or when he���s showing through you, yes,” I answered honestly.
“But the others, they can’t. Why is that?” He asked, looking at me curiously, if not a bit suspiciously.
I shrugged. “I’ve always had a connection to the Fade. In worse times I was in such turmoil a spirit of Compassion appeared in my dreams or pulled me out of reality if things got bad. And now that connection is stronger than ever. Some of my blood is circulating around in the Fade from when we interrupted Solas’s ritual. That’s how he visits me in my sleep.”
“I am sorry,” he said. “I can’t stand him, I didn’t want him to be a problem for you too.” I just shook my head. “I would kill for a decent cup of coffee right now.”
“Have you? For coffee, I mean,” I grinned.
I saw the corner of his lip twitch up. “Not today. You’ve got questions. You might as well ask them.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek, watching him. “You’re the best mage killer in the Antivan Crows. So how’d the Venatori catch you?”
“Someone set me up,” he said simply. “I had a contract for Calivan. In the Ossuary. I took a ship from Treviso to Minrathous. They were waiting for me. Knew which ship and when it would arrive. I don’t know how they convinced the Crows I was dead, but I woke up in the Ossuary with Zara gloating about it.”
“Blood magic.” I could tell him that at least. One thing I had the answer to. “Caterina said they had dressed the body in your clothes and altered it with blood magic to look like your face too. I can’t even imagine… I know she… “volunteered” you to work with us. Are you okay with that?” I asked sincerely.
“When the First Talon of the Crows gives you a job, you do it. Especially if she’s your grandmother. But, there’s plenty of reason for me to work with you beyond that, Rook,” he said.
“Such as?” I tilted my head, kicking my feet under the table.
“I owe you a debt, for one. And after a year in that hole, maybe I’m looking forward to stabbing a god or two in the back,” he answered.
“Two!” Spite hissed.
“The Crossroads can be dicey, but the Lighthouse is safe. Oh, and if you see a spirit around called the Caretaker, they’re friendly,” I smiled.
“After the Ossuary, that will be a pleasant change,” he said with a grin. After a moment’s silence, he put his hands on his hips. “You haven’t asked anything about Spite.”
“Based on what I’ve seen, I’d say he picked the right name.”
“He’s stronger when I sleep. So… I try not to do it much. No one was in the Ossuary by choice. Not even the demons. We both did what we had to, to get out of there,” he told me.
“I admire you,” I told him. “What you’ve been through would break most people.”
“I would not give Zara the satisfaction,” he smirked.
“I understand. Still, you must be a very courageous man,” I smiled.
“A very stubborn one, perhaps. But, that’s… kind of you to say. Leave Spite to me. If he’s trapped in this world, he has a good reason to fight for it. For now, I must honor our contract. Gods, magic, politics…” he hummed, the rumble in his chest trying to drag me toward him. “Things are going to get very bloody.”
I gave him one last smile as he turned back toward the fire. “If you’re stubborn, I’d say Zara picked the right demon. If I remember right, Spite is a demon of Determination,” I smirked, looking back at him.
His brows were raised. “Perhaps it was the only thing she got right. She was nothing if not fond of irony.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: Please give me your thoughts on this. I missed Cole and he was so important to me in Inquisition I wanted him to have a role in this story too, however minor. Also the back and forth with Solas gets me every time XD
Let me know if you want to be on a tag list! <3
Have a good day lovelies!
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard fanfic#da veilguard#datv#datv spoilers#datv fanfic#datv fanfiction#datv fic#datv companions#datv varric#datv rook#dragon age rook#dragon age varric#rook x lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis#dragon age lucanis#da4 lucanis#lucanis x rook#lucanis romance#dragon age dreadwolf#dragon age fanfiction#dragon age fanfic#dragon age fic#dragon age 4#dragon age 4 fanfiction#dragon age 4 fanfic#dragon age 4 fic
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Recap of my Albedo/Aether fics in 2023
General stress from life got to me in the later half of the year, so I didn't get anything written past the summer. But I did get three things written earlier in the year. I wanted to do a quick recap of the Albedo/Aether fics in particular to celebrate having gotten anything written at all -- and to hopefully inspire me to write more in 2024.
Winter Solstice (G, Albedo/Aether): A simple and admittedly cheesy fic about Aether proposing to Albedo. One of the things that I love about this ship is the idea of the two of them finding deep connection and meaning in their relationship in spite of them needing to part ways eventually. The 3.3 event in Inazuma touched on similar ground thematically, so it inspired me to write this fic.
Of Dragons and Windblumes (T, Albedo/Aether and Durin/Dvalin): A fic about Albedo realizing his feelings for Aether by drawing parallels between himself and Durin, set during the first (2021) Windblume festival. Albedo is a fairly chill person, but he's dealing with two sets of strong emotions -- the joy of first love and the dread around his fate/purpose. His response is to stuff both sets of feelings into nice, neat little boxes and tuck them away.
(I would love to write the fic about how poorly this pans out, but that's the post-corruption AU that I've been struggling to write for the past three years. I do have one follow-up idea set between this fic and the AU's divergence from canon; that one has a better chance of happening this year.)
#briar writes fanfic#albedo#aether#aebedo#albether#ngl it would make me happy if these got some more comments#I got literally one across the two of them
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I’m thinking about Gwen and Elyan tonight folks….. they were siblings, finally reunited after years, reconciled, and obviously cared for one another very much and there were hardly any on-screen interactions between them save for episodes where either one of them was in danger of some kind. Sigh.
I also know for a fact their exchanges would’ve been hilarious because it seemed that Elyan was the one person that knew how to annoy Gwen at light-speed LOL
yeselyanprincearthurofcamelot
#bbc merlin#merlin#I just really love siblings in media#and wish we got more of these two#in the ‘inbetween’ moments#I mean little moments like nudges and eye rolls#someone that brings out Gwen’s childish side the way only an annoying brother can#someone that brings out the goofier side behind elyan’s deadpan sarcasm#to know which one is the older one!!! (imo it’s Gwen)#to even see them standing together more often (and not just at their father’s grave 😭)#especially would’ve loved it while she was queen#Gwen’s trying to be professional and her idiot stoic brother is crossing his eyes at her across the room#to just tease her!!! and her tease him!!!!#I need elyan!! to give arthur!!!!!! a shovel talk!!!!!!!#and for Gwen to be like uh excuse me I haven’t seen you in years why do you think you can do this on my behalf#and Arthur is just like ‘you have my word no harm shall come to her’#Gwen is sooo unimpressed with both of them she just leaves and they’re both like…#her displeasure is literally a fourth presence in the room … bro do u think we fucked up#idk bro…#let’s ask merlin. yeah let’s#merlin just laughs at them and tells them good luck#ok this ran away from me anyway#bbc Gwen#bbc elyan#guinevere pendragon#sir elyan#merlin meta#I guess?#ren rambles
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✧ The Ardal stars ✧
#artists on tumblr#art#illustration#digital art#digital drawing#dnd#dungeons and dragons#homebrew#original art#my art#my ocs#Setting: Heim#I drew these a couple of years ago now i think#but since i'm drawing stuff for this setting again i'm reuploading with updated information cause the last one is outdated#I will say right off the bat however#If you compare my designs to already existing IPs i will block you on sight#the last time i posted these they got compared to a piece of media i really dislike#and that comment alone made me fall out of love with this setting for almost two years#so please. do not. it's rude and unnecessary#These are the artefacts my setting and its story is largely centered around#Tethry is credited with creating them (Even though he didn't)#They were gifted by Tethry to each of the largest cities in the world to serve as power generators supplying arcane power to the whole city#immediately pushing the four sister cities into prosperity and progress. leaving literally everyone else in the dust#which caused some understandable tension between countries that already had a bit of a strained relationship to begin with#There is SO MUCH to these little trinkets and their link to Tethry and how finding them essentially fucked up his whole entire life#You'd think becoming the world's most renowned arcanist would be the best thing that ever happened to an aspiring caster#but to some poor dude just trying to study arcane language. stumbling across the magical equivalent of the demon core#was very much not on his wishlist#especially not dealing with the consequences of trying to make sure no one actually realises how nasty they have the potential to be#which. someone inevitably does
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Since I've shared more of my reading interests on here lately, I thought I'd share my rant about the insanity of the book The Princess Bride by William Goldman. Yes. This is the book that is the same story as the popular older movie The Princess Bride.
I'll start this by saying I've never been so affronted by a book before. The closest would be the ending of the first Mortal Engines books (which if you know you know). That ending actually drove me nuts enough that I recall it quite often when thinking about insane books. However, the Princess Bride blows that chaos out of the water.
Not only is the book halted by a lot of extra nonsense that the author throws in of his own thoughts and opinions because part of the story is that he is retelling a book he read as a child and abridging it. The book in question doesn't exist so this is all made up and fantastical. I'm usually down for the silly and extra from writers. I've read Good Omens and plan to read some of the Discworld series sooner rather than later. I obviously recently finished the Hobbit and LoTR. But that is the fun silly that I love. Whatever the fuck is in the Princess Bride bridges on insanity.
The book is mostly the same as the movie EXCEPT for the ending. In the movie, it ends with Buttercup, Westley, Fezzik and Inigo riding off. In the book, it goes further. In to the most insane shit I've ever read in a published book. It's genuinely insane crack fic level material.
Like WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY GET SAVED BY THE PIRATES FROM THE PRINCE'S SOLIDERS BUT HAVE TO LEAVE THE BOAT IN WHICH FEZZIK IS INCHARGE OF ROWING. HE ROWS THEM INTO A WHIRLPOOL WHICH IS WHEN WESTLEY SPEAKS UP AND SAYS THAT THEY HAVE TO SWIM THROUGH THE WHIRLPOOL TO GET TO AN INASSECIBLE ISLAND WHERE THE PRINCE CANT FOLLOW. THIS HAPPENS AND THEN BUTTERCUP WHILE THEY ARE CHILLING ESSENTIALLY TURNS TO WESTLEY AND SAYS LETS HAVE SEX FINALLY. THAT SEX GETS BUTTERCUP PREGNANT WHICH ENDS UP LEADING TO A BIRTH WHERE THE BABY IS BACKWARDS AND TANGLED AND POTENTIAL WILL DIE ONLY FOR FEZZIK IS GET FUCKING POSSESSED AND SHOW UP AND DELIVERY THE BABY SAFELY. THEN THERES A TIME JUMP TO WHERE FEZZIK IS SAVING THE BABY AFTER SHE WAS KIDNAPPED AND HE JUMPS OFF A CLIFF TO SAVE HER AND THANKFULLY THEY SURVIVE BUT THATS WHERE THE BOOK FUCKING ENDS.
WHAT THE GENUIENE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS BOOK. WHAT THE FUCK
#ive genuinely never lost my mind this hard over a book#how is this thing real#it gives like 1k words chaos crack fic vibes like the ones that are so silly its almost nonsensical#this is a published book from the 80s or 90s#what the fuck#im#like im absolutely here for silly world building and shit like that but not this#this will haunt me forever#i thought i was going to get a cheezy romantic story and maybe them settling down after the events but NO#I GOT LITERAL INSANITY#WHAT THE GENUINE FUCK#i wanted a quick fun read before jumping into another large fantasy series thats all i wanted#princess bride#the princess bride#the princess bride book#(also if you have read this far and are okay with spoilers mortal engines pissed me off because the author literally kills everyone but the#two main characters in literally the last 10-15 pages. that was a book i threw across the room after finishing)
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I feel like SV girlies haven't seriously considered "codependent mutually obsessive JuliNemo" yet and that's a shame, really. I've seen a lot of wholesome ChampionRank (really cute but a rehash of every wholesome yuri I've ever seen, not much original content here and that's okay) and one-sided obsessive yandere!Nemona ChampionRank (REALLY do not like the villainization of Nemona's neurodivergence but eh, you can do whatever you want forever) but not as much "these two get on like a house on fire. and boy, it's dry season" ChampionRank.
Where is "battle-hungry socially starved trainwrecks who have no one but each other" JuliNemo. Where is "oh god these two exacerbate each others issues into the stratosphere and this can only end in disaster but I can't look away" JuliNemo. Where is "bringing out the worst in each other and scaring the hoes" JuliNemo. Where is "you two are perfect for each other. Never change, just never involve anyone else in any of this" JuliNemo. There's so much potential here. Toxic codependent yuri save me
#pokémon#pokemon sv#championrankshipping#julinemo#babbles#my juliana is such a mess#she does not make friends easily and can't keep relationships for long at all#whenever someone enters her life she aants to make the best impression so she lovebombs them incessantly#and that either comes across as too much too fast or causes people to get too attached.#but she's young. she is very young. and the people who bothered to match her energy had ulterior motives#so now she's too afraid of getting too close to someone#she'll act the part but never show her true self#and at the slightest hint of genuine connection she'll RUN.#this of course clashes horribly with Nemona's own overbearing personality and loneliness#you know how she wants you to be her ideal rival. and you end up becoming exactly that.#yeah to my Juliana this was kind of a nightmare because. as much as this toed her boundaries#she isn't so inept as to not recognize a bit of herself in Nemona. so she decided to ride this out and appease her#and UH OH! she got attached. fear and need for control and validation from feeling wanted mixed in her head#and she started matching Nemona's energy and the two jumped into dating too fast and oops. they're codependent now#they literally can't handle being away from each other for more than two days or they start going feral#i wish i had the energy to write this one because i'm fascinated by this horrible dynamic. i want to study them in a rat maze#edit: i feel like i should clarify that this interpretation relies on Florian existing and being the one to help Penny and Arven#Florian isn't without his issues. he's a huge people pleaser too. but he's more of a doormat who can't say no
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you ever have a fic get you in such a chokehold you start pacing your room and talking to yourself
#THIS FIC WAS WRITTEN FOR ME SPECIFICALLY#BURN IT ALL DOWN BY DOROTHYCANFLY ON AO3 THIS IS GENUINELY ONE OF MY TOP 5 FICS OF ALL TIME EVER#IT'S GOT THE BEST DABI CHARACTERISATION IVE EVER COME ACROSS IT'S GOT REALLY WELL WRITTEN DABIHAWKS#THAT FITS BOTH OF THEM LIKE THEY'RE MEAN AS HELL ABOUT IT AT FIRST#IT'S GOT STUPIDLY DEVOTED TOUYA-SHOUTO IT'S GOT PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER TOUYA#IT'S GOT MENTAL ANGST WRITTEN LIKE A DREAM THE WRITING IN GENERAL IS INSANE#IT'S ACTION PACKED BUT DONE WELL SO THAT IT'S NOT TEDIOUS IT'S FUNNY IT'S GOT TWISTS#IT'S KEEPING ME ON MY TOES I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMING OR HOW FAR THE AUTHOR IS WILLING TO GO#IVE LITERALLY READ 300K WORDS IN TWO DAYS AT THIS POINT LIKE I AM ABSOLUTELY FINISHING THIS TONIGHT#WHAT THE FUCK EVEN AM I GONNA DO WITH MYSELF AFTER THIS#EVERY NEW THING THAT HAPPENS LITERALLY HAS ME GETTING UP TO PACE ABOUT#I CLOCKED OUT OF MY MUM TELLING ME OFF EARLIER BC I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS FIC#DO U KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS BASO JUST SIGNED MY DEATH WARRANT BUT I DIDNT CARE#losing my goddamn mind respectfully <3 if anyone has read this pls yell with me about it#and if anyone knows mha and wants a fic rec PLEASE let it be this one it's my fav mha fic ever and ive read A LOT#it gets quite smutty in the middle but if that's not ur thing the author tws very well and u can kinda just scroll#so that u still get the important character developments without it being just pure smut lol#god this FIC. holding it in my fucking fist and squeezing the everloving life out of it im going INSANE#i cant remember the last time a fic got me this way im literally giggling about it all#HE FOUND A REASON TO LIVE AGAIN THEY TOOK THIS MANGLED BLOODY BOY AND SAID WE LOVE YOU#YOU ARE GOOD YOU CAN STAY YOU CAN REST NOW WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND HE CHOSE THEM! HE CHOSE THEM!#OVER HIS REVENGE AND HIS RAGE HE CHOSE THEM! IM GOING TO BE VIOLENTLY SICK#like the author LETS DABI BE A CUNT. the first chunk of the fic he's actively not a good person#and his coping mechanisms are shot to shit and we WATCH HIM GROW FROM THAT i have cried several times over the most mundane shit#goddddddddDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAKSJFJKAGSFIUAHGJKAKG#mha#fic rec
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