#I got into my transfer college!!
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(OOC) concerning the future, and an update
Howdy y'all I'm back to an extent. Things have happened. In the comin weeks I'll be juggling more things as I grind out my degree. Making a note to check the inbox every so often so that there is some level of activity.
#I got into my transfer college!!#and among other news#I'll probably be more active since I need something to occupy me in the wake of my missing cat (the search has gone cold#with some gruesome leads along the way#sparing the gore involved it's decent to say he ain't coming home#my replies may be spotty because writing isn't always my strong suit#I have to wait for inspiration to shake me violently lol#ooc#announcement
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Haven't posted in who KNOWS how long, but its the twins birthday again so I doodled smthn for em!
#gravity falls#gf#dipper pines#mabel pines#birthday#happy 24 kiddos!#now IM the one in college and an adult (im 18 now wowee)#bday#I havent drawn in a very very long time so im sorry this isnt the best haha#my art#puts that down hesitantly lol#ough i love them they got me through tough times#i think i started this blog by the end of my 8th grade year (usa)#and now im like#a whole ass adult#first year of COLLEGE so i can get that BANK#listen if i ever figure out how to transfer this sideblog to my new one i WILL but i havent yet so#shrug#for now it served as a nice archive of my past :]#art#doodle#doodles#sketches#sketch#did it in like 10 mins procrastinating my comp sci hw lol
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naruto but it's my modern fantasy world au
#moon posts#naruto au#the “world” is called nexus b/c rly its an interconnecting set of pocket dimensions that intertwine with earth#setting is like fantasy new york and they all attend one of the elite magic schools#its actually a rival school to the college my ocs attend#one of the arcs is them being invited back to the winter ball tradition that the legacy colleges host#DISGRACED in the magical academia society b/c of orochimaru and danzo omg#during his first run hiruzen had a little bit of sway and respect but then shit hit the fan in his second run and they got blacklisted#minato was working on bringing them back into the elite magical academia scene but ofc he died#fastforwarding tsunade is the one who gets the back into the good graces again and this is when the story takes place#its my au so sasuke parents are alive ummm little bit of an estranged relationship#akatsuki is an underground activist group mostly made of criminals and often dabbling in the black market saurrrr#also as for hire mercenaries and bodyguards#the sand sibs are transfer students and temari is in a master's program#kinda using this au as a way to flesh out my magical academia program lol#oh! and everyone has an affinity to certain magic but there are Restrictions#easy way to explain: overuse of magic that you are affiliated to can cause loss of self (there are exceptions to this rule)#the exceptions are those who are basically already their affinity (elementals).#i also have my own set of gods and divinity but im including the bijuu as like....reminders of the past??? they're still around tho#oh!!!!! and Rin is alive (came back wrong)#instead of being the children of..whatever his name is they're the children of Order and Chaos (who are divorced)#Order and Chaos are some of thee oldest divine beings and are largely responsible for the creation and destruction of the universe#in canon they don't rly have children together
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things im still not over (as someone who was mostly inactive since mid 2021):
mask and change my clothes!! i dont think i was active on tumblr when change my clothes was released, but the way i ascended when i heard his soft sweet singing voice <33 mask is my favorite song of his and it still makes me emotional to think about what the song meant to him. his creativity is one of his greatest strengths and i am endlessly happy that he found a way to share more of himself in a way that he really enjoys
DREAM TEAM MEETUP tbh i really did not know if these days would ever come. its so so so crazy to think that florida man dream texas cowboy sapnap and british george are really all living together and existing in the same space. seeing them be THEM irl is still very surreal and makes me pause for a second without fail. so so much of the community centered around them not having met each other irl
DREAM FACE REVEAL!!!! this one i REALLY HONESTLY didnt know if it would ever come, just because the courage it takes to face reveal after building one of the largest audiences is fucking crazy. i thought that even if they did end up living together, dream might’ve found that he is happy to just be with them and not want to face reveal anymore. ig never doubt dream- he’s such a “go big or go home” type of person. i love him regardless but now he is also a big bear who wears cat beanies and has the prettiest eyes and im emotionally attached
dream pics before his face reveal with a big emphasis on suit pics, swt halloween, and strawberry dream. his white hoodie posey pose and the ones with the blanket and patches have a permanent home in my heart but these had me convulsing and i didnt get to gush about them here </3
#long tagsss#why does it feel like no time has passed yet SO MUCH has changed#i feel very very late to everything i think in some ways i am still kinda stuck in the past#it was just today where i officially really matched dream to his voice and that was rlly cool#he has always been very cute and dorky kind generous and open hearted#and you can see that when he interacts with people in irl streams too#ik i kinda left wo saying anything and sometimes i wish i had still been active to freak out abt everything w everyone#but basically it just got more stressful than fun bc my hpfx became unhealthy and i had to move for college and learn to be on my own#im back home now after transferring and my mental health is a lot better#sm has changed in my life too!!#being active here still makes me feel nostalgic abt all the old times though#however it really is just the beginning and i keep thinking abt how dream spoke abt things speeding up and im v v happy that i get to tunein#dreamblr
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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane
(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)
#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school#so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away#i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute#and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with#someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over#so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job#not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people#and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie#or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired#i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family#but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying#and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home#logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do#i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out#and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years#i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year#i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out#even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times#and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable#i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something#plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later#vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space#and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year#and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends#so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything#i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything#but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know#i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to#vent
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I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS
#this has been happening for like TWO YEARS BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TRYING.#my usual art motivation (my webcomic idea) has been put on hold for a bit and because of that i forgort... everything#my will to draw specifically#but in my defense i have been writing k*arlach / oc indulgences and i've been VERY focused on finishing it#i also got a marketing manager (my friend <3) to help with advertising my comms and stuff so uh... look forward 2 that#i might need to start posting all of my art on a sideblog so she doesn't have to log into my main though#so there might be some changes#but i promise i want to do art!!!! but there's always something to do first and then months pass :(#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...#(ended up being cancerous actually </3 but because it's skin stuff it was easy to remove)#(but that really took the piss out of me for most of july... not to mention that ffxiv released a new expansion and i have been...#having a good time with my new friends doing content and stuff!) i also made a friend irl after like 3-4 years of total isolation#we feed ants and watch them move around together and comment on their behaviour patterns...#but like when i say this takes literal hours.#we just sit out there and talk about random shit and watch ants walk across the floor. both of us hate ants btw.#like we don't like having them ON us so it's a bit like playing with fire.#but anyways yeah i've also been really low energy recently too bc of the heat and burnout from college...#but the good news is that i'm transferring in fall to a much more relaxing college & courseload!#i'm hoping it'll stop me from feeling so... awful ?? i guess ??#like i was taking classes i didn't need to that were really difficult & punishing#not to mention extremely boring & hard to pay attention to when dealing with literally anything. i did not want to be there.#my next college is much more interest-oriented so i will finally be able to take classes i want to and learn from them...!#and then maybe i will feel a bit more in control of my life / more encouraged to draw#anyways thank u for reading my ramble. hoping it all comes together soon.#i need to do a lot of work but most of it is so i can sell commissions again#but once the karlach fic is done we're so back on the webcomic train !!!!!!!!
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meow
#ok uhhh hi. yeah im back from the strike but as of now i'm still gonna be away from my blog more?#ive been going out more and more lately with family and friends for vacation and i haven't had time to sit down and do my stuff#i also finally have a laptop - i'm very happy about this! i was worried i wasn't going to get a laptop before college and I hadn't been-#- starting commissions lately but its been covered now and im very lucky!#ive been focused on preparing my characters for artfight too - got some friends to join and added more characters#so I don't know if i can continue to be active here? hard to say but just saying hello again!#i COULD post my new refs that i made for artfight#i still have to go out tomorrow - i think i have a stuffed schedule ahead of me...#yesterday we went to the arcades with my friend who finally came to visit + a new family friend who joined us#and today we watched inside out 2 in the cinema w them. (really good movie - i cried haha)#ahh but yeah. yeah. stuff. Stuff.#everytime id come home from the hangouts id be too tired to do my thing and end up sleeping 😭#~ rambling#so as of now im just bouncing around discord with close friends#my old computer that has stayed with us for years is gonna retire soon since i got my laptop#i just have to transfer all my files in it and archive it somewhere else
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I am considering going back to school for a business degree :(
#gagged while typing that ew#i could get an associated in a year and I can do an accelerated course through my local community college#that would be entirely online + saturdays#I think it would help me at work + I miss school… and I could transfer to another college in town if I wanted a bachelors…#and I’m sure I could get financial aid bc the state paid for like half of my ba + the other scholarships I got… hrm#but idk if I want to tho. stewing on jt#ramblings
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oh this is my YEAR baby
#your boy got his college transfer approved! one step closer to my dream program!#also turning 20 very soon! also finally healed up from Top Surgery!#I get to go back to work soon and am also taking a darkroom photography class at community college!
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My life is actually so good and everything is ok
#not being sarcastic for the first time in a while I’m actually happy and I’m getting everything I want 🫶‼️‼️#I got accepted into my top choice of school to transfer. I have close friends in college. I have actual hope for the future it’s crazy
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I'm gonna be real, i'm like 5 minutes away from dropping out and finishing college online because i cant deal with the absolute dumbassery of the people at this school anymore.
#maybe this is super bitchy and uncool of me but if you didn't get above a B in english or algebra you shouldn't be allowed into college.#like you're 20 years old i am begging you to use your fucking brain#obviously this is excluding certain circumstances****#like i'm sorry but if you're genuinely asking the professor what the fucking median of a data set is...why are you here.#how did you get into college#there is a reason i had such a hard time going to this school instead of my two top schools despite the scholarships i got here#and it's because to get in here you barely had to pass 9th grade#the indescribable rage i feel and the overwhelming urge to transfer despite money issues#i simply cannot anymore. i don't understand how such a large group of people can collectively have 2 brain cells.#im losing it
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wincing in pain at my account balance,
#okay i transferred $60 over from venmo#spent $100 and then got an unexpected $320 fee and then had to miss work and now i am in tennessee#$320..ACK#im owed $600 from someone but i can be patient with that#*gritted teeth* i just need to get through my college first semester and they will give me eight hundo
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^ had to look at their old classmates' and childhood friends' graduation pics and celebrations and whatnot
#its FINE im fine who cares if im a little behind its not my fault i had to transfer and repeat a year bc of it#its not a race!!!!!! nobody probably remembers or particularly cares abt you anyways take ur time#man.#i only really go on insta like once or twice a month or whenever i just went to a con or smth and yet#these past six months have been awful for my self esteem (like its ever been much better rly lmao) all of them getting into good colleges#having fun and actually having friends . couldnt be me!!!!!#feel like my childhood friends ive been together with since kindergarten are so far away now too#yeah its none of our faults i had to move away in elementary at least we kept in touch. its none of our faults the pandemic happened once i#got back in the country. its none of our faults when the one time we couldve possibly met up they were suddenly busy and couldnt make it and#now i wont have a chance to see them until like december at the soonest and even that chance is slim#if i go to college abroad ill be able to see them even less too.. well no use thinking abt it now#i should go season my shrimp and heat the rice back up hrm#duck rants about something
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I just need to find someone working in my field and just ask them like specifics w degree etc thats all i need i dont understand how masters work
#my dads got his mba that he got 20 years ago online overseas so like. no help there#like its so vague. uwm freshwater marine science is what i want but like thats uhm. competative and stuff.#i just dk. let me work in mussel conservation ill do anything adjacent. i love ppl who work in fisheries/hatcheries ill dothat mwah#but like. will a generic bio science masters open me up to that or is that ecology or what.#cause ofc if i can get into a specific aquatic bio......#university of dayton i cannot afford but ohh they have this river institute thingy right there...#ugh. ud is soooo much we should destroy private schools. but they have their 5 year bachelors plus masters in bio...#i can direct transfer from my college rn#im going to advisor office tmr because uhm my advisor is not on the make schedule page anymore lol. shes just not there#hope shes just on leave i rly lile her
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The defunding of public colleges was also very racial. With Nixon’s education secretary complaining that there were too many diverse and poor students there. It’s suspicious that tuition was added just as numbers of black/hispanic students were growing
There’s an advertising push to show how “bad” public colleges are,
I’ve literally had coworkers say I went to a school “not as good as theirs” in earlier jobs right out of college (CCNY alumn), but nearly all of my adjunct professors in art/design/marketing/web design classess also taught at SVA, Pratt, and the New School. We also were literally at the same job, and at some I was higher paid, and had no loans cause well, I went to CUNY. So I had the same education as coworkers, even sometimes having the exact same professors and curriculum as them, be at the same job, but because someone spent a premium amount of money for the same thing, they’d look down on it.
(also CUNY/SUNY are free for first undergrad degree for NYS residents making under 125k again and people don’t know about it!!!)
The vast majority of my coworkers in my (pretty visible and don’t want to self dox) apparel job are CUNY/SUNY grads (mostly SUNY FIT), and people still have the “if it costs more it must be better” brainrot when choosing schools
#personal#I HATE PEOPLE BLAMING TEACHERS FOR A CULTURAL ISSUE????????????????????????#oh my god no i will literally STOP TEENAGERS TALKING ABOUT LOANS IN THE STREET#to preach about our lord and saviour ny excelsior#like i have done this like 3 times to hs seniors i've overheard talking about cost of colleges....'heeeeyyyy cuny and suny are FREE for nys#residents whos family makes median income or under u just gotta stay in ny for 4 years after'#my cousin's at a upstate suny (he's probably transferring into ccny next year tho lol)#AAAAAND is only going to have room and board as loan (and if he transfers into grove he'll have no more loan than the one year worth)#(cuz he'll just live at home and commute)#EVERY SINGLE PERSON in my family went to cuny on my mom's side other than my aunt (mom's brother's wife and she's drowning in her phd loan)#like my mom's two teaching license masters... CUNY... her undergrad CUNY#my grandfather's engineering licence and teaching license... cuny!!! grandmother's accounting license and teaching license .... CUNY!!!!!!#uncle's undergrad psych (and 90% of a masters... doofus.. well... he couldn't handle being a therapist emotionally and noped into marketing)#also CUNY!!!#so we've got ccny queens hunter and brooklyn represented lmao#(oh and one of my mom's cousins is baruch! soooooo many cunys!)#my fiance actively regrets going to mcgill over baruch too (I TOLD HIM SO???)#so we're both pushing his younger siblings to not listen to their parents about the pricetag#literally i have a better job than my fiance and his mom's made nasty comments about cuny to me and i'm like broooo wtf#(she's also been trying to get him to pay for both his siblings tuition which is a worse deal than taking out a loan... lmao)#(and she lied about paying for his college no strings attached if he chose mcgill over mccauly baruch)#(cause of the 'pay for your siblings as payback' whining LMAO)#but we're both like.... uhh guys... in 2-3 years... cuny... cause then you won't have GUILT trips from parents lmao#literally his mom's said to his sister about relatives going to baruch that they just weren't 'smart enough' to go somewhere better#and broooooo baruch is A GOOD FINANCE SCHOOL and it's smart to not get into debt#if i ever get another degree it would be the fashion merchandising for artists masters degree from FIT
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emotionally i cannot cope with my latin class. i would appreciate it if something could change
#bones.txt#bones does college#bones does college so very very poorly#as a lil update#i transferred to the big university about 30min away from me and my life is now in shambles#everything sucks all the time and school is so hard and my latin class is the worst of them#i feel like i’m falling apart at the seams#and also my GP doctor and my psych both closed down permanently so i have No Doctors rn lol#this is devastating btw. i am like a delicate coral reef and any changes in my life make me fuckingn die immediately#i want to go to sleep and not wake up lololol#i’ve been crying on and off since i got out of my latin class at 2pm (51min ago)
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