#i can direct transfer from my college rn

[oysterie]

I just need to find someone working in my field and just ask them like specifics w degree etc thats all i need i dont understand how masters work

[protectbrowngirls]

Hey, i'm an 18 yr old brown girl. I've been dating a guy online for a year now and we're very close, he's 19.i really want to meet him and i told my parents about him and they went crazy. they stole my bank passwords and passport and they're really trying to control me. it's very hard already bc our relationship is long distance. anyone have any advice or tips on what I can do? I love parents but they're really toxic. if anyone can talk to me pls comment and ill pm my ig.

Hi, so sorry it took me forever to respond to you! Funnily enough, I’m visiting my own parents rn, and it’s very hard to find time for myself without them interrupting.

I definitely understand your pain. So often, brown parents go absolutely ballistic and cite “concern” as the reason they’re holding you hostage. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation, having to deal with not only with the obstacles that come with an LDR but also your parents being unreasonable.

Followers, if you have any advice or comfort you could offer, please feel free to share, whether via replying to this post, sending an ask, reblogging with advice, etc! And anon, if you’d like to talk about this more with me, you’re welcome to IM me; all messages and info will be kept private.

Having been in similar situations, I would offer you the following advice. Placing this under a readmore cut to avoid clogging dashboards:

First and most importantly, work to become independent from your parents. If you’re 18, you should be to close your account without needing your parents to sign off on it. Meaning, go to the bank, open a new account where you’re the sole owner, transfer all your money from your joint account to the new one, then close the old one. And then, don’t give your parents the new bank account info at any cost. They might threaten you, or tell you you’re irresponsible, or shout at you, or say all kinds of hurtful things. It will hurt a lot, but you need to say “I won’t give you access to my account.” Don’t try to explain or justify; just say that and nothing more. If the money in your account is technically theirs and you aren’t comfortable cutting off their access to it, open a new account anyway, and start directing as much of your own money into it as you can. Can you pick up a job or side hustle, like tutoring or freelance writing/editing/drawing? If you’re in college/university, can you get a work/study job without telling your parents? 

It is possible to replace your passport and any other documents your parents have stolen. If you’re in the United States, this website offers instructions on how to replace all your vital documents, including birth certificate, passport, SSN card, etc. (If you’re in a different country, let me know, and I’ll do my best to see if there are similar resources for you). It will take some digging to figure out all places you need to call or make appointments with. And it will unfortunately cost money, but you may be able to call your local passport facility or vital records office to ask if they have fee waivers or payment plans you could qualify for. I know it’s scary for your parents to hold your documents hostage, but unless you’re traveling internationally in the next month, this isn’t as big of a threat as they want it to be.

Unfortunately, you may have to accept that your parents just won’t support you meeting or dating your bf. Maybe they think you’re too young, or he doesn’t meet their standards, or they don’t trust the internet; regardless of the reason, it is deep-rooted, and they’re unlikely to change their minds no matter how much you reason or plead with them. This is really hard pill to swallow! It is so incredibly painful to realize that your parents’ love is conditional, and your happiness often isn’t a good enough reason for them to challenge their own beliefs. But you can’t control their reactions, nor can you force them to change their minds. Living your best life means determining what is and isn’t under your control, focusing on changing what you can, and not blaming yourself for the things you can’t change.

If you want to meet up with your bf, it will have to be on your own dime and your own time. This may mean you can’t meet up until you’re able to extricate yourself from your parents’ toxicity. You have to put your own safety and well-being first. This also means you need to have a difficult conversation with your bf: Are the two of you willing to wait until you’re able to meet him without your parents punishing you? Is he okay with you lying to your parents about him if you need to in order to avoid punishment? If he has fewer restrictions than you, is he okay with doing more of the legwork for meeting up (whether financially or by accommodating your restrictions) right now?

Though this is probably the furthest thing from what you want to hear, patience is your best friend right now. I promise there will come a time when you won’t have to worry about how your parents will react and how their reactions will limit your own happiness. I promise eventually you’ll be able to meet your bf whenever you want (global pandemics permitting). But that time is not right now, and you have still have some hurdles in your way. So be patient, and work toward clearing those hurdles. I hope you’re able to meet up with your bf sooner rather than later, and that you find a way to distance yourself from your parents’ toxicity. You deserve to seek happiness without first having to seek their approval and permission.

[thehomierobbstark]

What does Erik do when Bae is being bratty in public?

A/N: Ya’ll seemed to really enjoy the last one, so here, have a longer one! Thank you anon for asking! [i ride for my thick chicks but i couldn’t find the right pics, sorry yall :/ ]

Whewwww

First of all

God Bless that mans patience, because you? stay Trying👏🏿 It ™👏🏿

Y’all were at an amusement park in the height of summer after graduation after you’d decided to link back up with all your college friends one last time before fall came

Everyone was boo’d up, but especially Erik, who stayed hanging on you from the moment you got there

He couldn’t help it, you just looked so cute with your black and silver braids up in space buns and the ocean blue Van’s you paired with your white summer fit

He just needed to be onn youuu in somee wayy so he could let these niggas know that ‘this mines’

Soo you sucked it up, and put up with your needy ass man hanging all over you

….. for a total of five minutes

“Yeah, so uhh…. this not bout to work,” You lean back from your scrunched up position in the corner of the booth where he’d pulled you in to be under his arm. The rest of your crew was still in line, ordering food.

He gives you a confused look, not really sure what you’re talking about.

“Wassup? You wanna go somewhere else for food? I think they got a vegan spot around the corne-”

“Nah, son, this not bout to work,” You interrupt him, gesturing between the two of you. You feel a spike of heat flash over you, and your patience starts to grow thinner.

You fuckin hated being hot

It was honestly one of the worst feelings to you, and this gigantic, sweaty nigga was determined to be all up in your space, fuckin up your qi

“Baby,” you give him a little pat on his arm, trying to keep it together. “I love all the physical affection you’re trying to show me, but you gon have to cut that shit out.” *record scratch* “It’s too hot for all that.”

During the winter, those warm, cuddled up moments were cute and all, but now that the cold was gone so was your desire for unnecessary body heat, and you needed him to get with the program

He kisses his teeth. “I’m just tryna hold my baby girl, watchu getting all buck for?” He says defensively, acting like he wasn’t currently trying to be the actual ball to your chain.

“Okay, well, hold me in your heart or somethin, shit. You makin my back sweat,” You pull at the sleeve of your shirt to trying to air it out a little, unsticking it from you.

That was another thing you fuckin hated; sweat

You could put up with it if you had to, like when you did your occasional morning run or participated in whatever foolish activities Erik managed to get you into, but it still always made your neck scrunch up at the dewy gross wetness that lingered behind on your skin

Tbh, you turned into a total 👸🏿Diva when it was hot, and you weren’t putting up with any of Erik’s lovey dovey shit in the 102º heat

“Wowwww, so you really just gon block me out like that, babe?”

“Like a fuckin linebacker,” Your comeback is quick, zero hesitation.

Your friends start heading back to where you are, so he drops it, deciding to not be a grump in front of them and thinking that maybe you just needed some space for a little while till you cooled back down

Nnnopeeee

You may have felt icky on the outside, but it didn’t mean you still didn’t want allll of the attention from your man

It’s like your body knew it wasn’t going to get any physical affection in this heat, so to make up for it, it transferred all of its resources over to your mouth

And that mouth? Smh

Poor baby, you was skrugglin

“Erik, where are you going?”

“I wanna go ride on this one babe, come with me.”

“Why is it so hotttt,”

“Ooo, DOG!”

“I want a churro.”

“Why aren’t you listening to me right now?? Didn’t you hear me say I saw a dog??”

He’s torn between being fed up with you’re annoying, aggravating ass and squishing you to death in the tightest hug because he loved it when you started acting all needy

One second you’re dragging him to all the toy stores in the park to find a Pussyfoot stuffed animal, and the next you’re mad when he tries to hold your hand to take you there because ‘it’s too sweaty”

And when you had a hot flash?

Lord help any chick that looked even somewhat in Erik’s direction, because by then you were ready to add in the knuck component to your 1-2 crazy bitch combo

After he had to drag you out of the funnel cake shop to keep you from throwing hot fudge and strawberries at “that googly eyed bitch in the back”, he decided to take you to one of the secluded tables in the back of the park to talk.

“Sit.” he orders, pointing at the table top, and you hoist yourself onto the warm concrete, scooting back a little to make room.  He slides the plate of funnel cake onto the table, arranging the shopping bags he placed behind you to give you both cover. He situates himself on the bench in between your legs, pulling the plate of food over to him to unwrap it.

He spreads your legs open and puts the dessert there when he finishes, resting his hands on the outside of your thighs.

“Right now, you gon eat and listen, cuz you been acting like a fuckin brat all damn day and I’m not having any more of your shit lil girl.”

Your face immediately scrunches up, frowning at the factual statements he was making.  You want to open your mouth and start denying your bad behavior, but the look on his face tells you that it would be very unwise.

You only open up again after watching him use his fork to pick apart the funnel cake, dipping it in chocolate sauce and holding it to your mouth to feed it to you.

While you chew, your eyes drift over his defined arm muscles being showcased by the maroon sleeveless hoodie he’s wearing, the scent of his heady cologne wafting up to your nose, distracting your senses for a moment.

You want to bury your nose in his neck and deeply inhale his scent, but you restrain yourself, not wanting to get falsely accused of trying to distract him. 

“Aight so whats the deal, baby girl? You ain’t even wanna hold my hand cuz you was being such a drama queen earlier, but now you tryna bite every bitch head off in a 5 mile radius cuz they can’t tell that we together.” He feeds you another piece, this time with a chunk of strawberry, holding it with his fingers.

You accept it, wrapping your lips around his meaty fingers and taking the treat from them, sucking generously at the pad of his thumb.

He maintains his composure, watching as you swipe your tongue over the dust of powdered sugar on your top lip.

“Why you being so difficult, mamas? You actin like you don’t know how to act right.”

You roll your eyes, eyebrows furrowing in irritation as you start to get defensive. Sure you might have been acting out a little bit, but its not like he was entirely innocent in this either.

“Well, maybe if you didn’t wear shit like that when we go out, I wouldn’t have to act so fucking ‘difficult’.” You use your fingers to put up air quotes, voice laced with attitude.

He narrows his eyes at you. “Excuse me, little girl?” Its more of an opportunity for you to reevaluate your statement than it is a question, but you steamroll over the subtle warning, still going off.

“You mad you can’t be all up on me rn so we can look like we together, but you stay showing off your arms and shit like you’re not also taken.”

He grabs the plate of half eaten funnel cake and puts it off to the side, moving forward so that his face is closer to yours.

“You better change the way you talkin to me or we gon have an even bigger problem in a second.”

You ignore his threat, scooping up the plate to munch away at your anger.

“Shut the fuck up Erik, you’re irking me right now,” You mumble around a mouthful of food, eyes focused on the pile of whipped cream and pastry.

You didn’t see it when he pulled down the black joggers he was wearing to reach in and free himself, stroking slowly while he waited for you to swallow the food in your mouth. Before you could take another bite, he snatches the plate out of your hand, tossing it somewhere before pulling you to the edge of the table, gripping you under your knees.

“Clearly you need some sense fucked back into you because its obvious you lost it all somewhere in this goddamn park.” He grabs your shorts, roughly pulling them off before sliding you off the table and into his lap. He hooks two fingers into the side of your cotton underwear and rips them off, stuffing the material into your mouth.

“I swear if you cum I’ll take you home and bend you over for another 2 hours,” His tone is vicious, and you’re already wet from the way he’s gripping your waist tight and looking at you with pure fire in his eyes. He lifts your ass up and positions himself under you, thrusting into you powerfully and filling you all the way up. You let out a sharp cry, softened by your makeshift gag, and he covers your mouth with his wide palm, leaning into your ear.

“Shut the fuck up and take it,” he growls, and he tightens his arm around your lower back and starts to pound into you, struggling to keep his own breathing even and his grunts quiet.

With the tall shopping bags on the table blocking the view, no one can see what you’re doing in the corner, and you wrap your arms around his shoulders and bury your face, praying that there’s no cameras pointed in your direction. 

Somehow you both manage not to get caught, and its been 20 minutes now of his thick member slamming into you over and over again non stop. You’re wrapped around him so tight, struggling not to let go as you feel your 6th orgasm trying to fight past your mental barrier, and you push on his thighs weakly trying to lift off of him.

“I can’t I cant I cant,” you chant, your head falling back as you take in shallow breaths, a single tear falling down your face.

“You fucking better,” He snarls, and he digs his fingers into your cheeks gripping hard, spreading your ass apart further. His thrusts start slowing down, and he lifts you up, laying you down on the table with his body hovering over yours.

It’s a riskier position, and your legs bob over the shopping bag blockade he’s created as he keeps going. You scratch at his arms, whining his name to try and warn him. 

He ignores you, circling his hips into you sloppily as he starts to reach his climax, and right as he starts to release, he pushes up your cropped shirt and sinks his teeth into your breast, moaning into you as ropes of cum shoot inside you.

He collapses on top of you, both of you breathing heavy and sweating even more than you were before. 

He lazily smushes sloppy kisses into the side of your face as he comes down, nibbling on your cheek and the sensation of his beard tickles you.

“Daddy,” you whisper hoarsely, throat dry and aching from the fabric.

“Hm?” he hums, his body too tired to look up at you.

“I’m hungry again.”

[dhominis]

Update on my meatspace existence! CW for parents and disordered eating and general neuroticism. Things are pretty great.

I’m happy.

Social-wise, I am not where I’d like to be but I am slowly getting more and more social contact. (It’s... not enough, not by a long shot, but fairly okay for someone who’s been in a new city for like three months. Especially at my general level of social competence. The ideal setup involves more or less constant interaction with people, far more physical contact -- I need to live in a house with like five or six friends who are smart and excited about things and also really like physical contact.) I have a friend with whom I can hike and talk about cool pathogens. I’m probably LARPing with an cool epidemiologist and her LARP group pretty soon, which is nerd shit and also increased social competence and also running around in the woods -- perfect. I have been doing various social things. (Went to a kink social thing and a cute girl hit on me. It was great -- I don’t think she meant it as a serious expression of interest but I’m generally really ecstatic about people flirting with me. Also got great hugs.) Life is getting better.

Plans for the future seem more and more clear -- flexible, but there are viable paths to outcomes I want. Current most viable path: being an ICU nurse. I think I am going to be a really good ICU nurse; people who are familiar with my general personality concur. I am smart and competent and compassionate but not high-automatic-empathy enough that it’ll interfere with my functioning, I automatically think of things in terms of feedback within systems, I need to be active and under stress, I’m pretty high-conscientiousness with adequate caffeine intake and expect further improvement once I get either real ADHD meds or modafinil, I’ll be so good at this.

(I can handle stress, I can handle pressure. I cannot handle not being under pressure. A high-pressure job that occupies a lot of my time is more or less necessary; I am like a neurotic border collie that can’t self-motivate, I will always find things to do, if they’re not imposed from outside those things will be e.g. having pointless anxiety about things that really don’t merit anxiety.)

Be an ICU nurse for a few years. Donate ten percent. It’s worth figuring out whether “reducing medical error via checklists” is a viably high-impact thing; more likely I’ll end up working in the ICU until I stop being a high-stress traumatized adolescent, then go to CRNA school and make ridiculous CRNA salary and donate like $100k/year or something absolutely ridiculous like that.

Also when I moved out here I was very much thinking “yeah I’m gonna just work as much as I need to pay my bills and not think about school and just relax so much” and three months later I’m pulling stupid overtime and figuring out the best way to fast-track my nursing degree. (Depends on how much transfer credit Shitty Online College is willing to give me, but likely the best way to do it will be to finish my BS online while working full-time and then go to an accelerated RN program; that’d be only one full year of in-person school. And then just be a nurse.)

I applied to Shitty Online College today; in a few weeks they’ll tell me how much transfer credit they’ll give me. It might be a viable option, and if that’s the case I’ll work full-time and finish my BS and apply for the one-year RN for 2021. Even if it’s not a viable option I’ll need anat/phys to get into nursing school and it’ll be a lot cheaper to do the self-study CLEP-adjacent test-out thing the shitty online college offers.

...I don’t know how to self-motivate. I don’t know how to self-study. This is a thing I have to learn but also I don’t know how to learn. Offers of peer-pressure coworking are so welcome, guys.

I have been in overtime every week since the first week. I am comfortably middle-class, have been living on about $1200 a month, am saving over half my income. I am in a really good position to do everything I want to! Like, within a few years I’d be able to buy a house were I not instead funneling all my income into education.

It has occurred to me that being non-disabled in certain important ways is a large part of why I’m okay. It’s... not intuitive to think of myself like that; I couldn’t handwrite enough for any reasonable goal until 2017 (a few legible sentences and that’s it for the day!), couldn’t make decisions based on my long-term ability to walk. There is less pain now. I am able to walk the mile and a half to and from work; I don’t need an apartment that’s right next to my workplace, I don’t need a car. I can hang out in a room full of loud alarms going off constantly and also make phone calls constantly and have people’s lives dependent on my ability to cope with this (this is my current job, I fucking love it).

Eating still has not been good (see post, CW for various ~food issues~). I’d hoped that the change of environment and commitment to exposing myself to unpleasant things e.g. eating would be useful, and there have been really substantial improvements (haven’t vomited since I left $homestate, I think I’ve at least maintained my weight, there’s only been one day I didn’t eat at all) but it’s... still requiring sustained effort. (You may notice that I am not yet great at sustained self-directed effort.) I’ll figure it out. Getting adequate therapy is a priority.

I could afford full-time Soylent. This is not an option I’m seriously considering in the near term but it is very comforting to know that there is another option. It’s likely that after e.g. a year of effort and therapy food will become intrinsically motivating again -- it’s been less than a year since my food issues became seriously harmful, after all, and recovery is likely. But even if that doesn’t happen, even if solid food is horrible forever, I have an option besides “do a thing that is seriously aversive every day several times a day for the rest of my life” and “don’t eat and subsequently be unable to function because I don’t eat.”

What else --

I had planned to maintain contact with my parents after leaving, since it’s important to them; this is no longer a viable plan. Every seriously unpleasant mental state since I left has either been “eating is unpleasant” or “I talked to my parents and this is Not Good.” It’s... relevant that every time this has happened, it’s been substantially less bad than literally every day I’d lived with my parents. Possibly I do not have a good understanding of what is a reasonable amount of distress to put myself in. I am still learning this and it’s okay.

So. Not talking to them. It feels good and free and safe. I almost think I should miss them -- it feels disrespectful for my reactions to be universally positive. Mostly this is not distressing because oh my god this is awesome I don’t have to interact with them unless I specifically choose to.

Also, now I am responsible for adult things like meal prep and cleaning and health insurance and finding a therapist and getting my in-state driver’s license and, uh, getting an ADHD eval. I have been putting off going to the DMV and I just... I have to go to the DMV. This will suck a bunch for a very short period of time and then I will have an in-state driver’s license and also will laugh at myself for not having done this two months ago.

(figuring things out and becoming more competent -- intrinsically motivating, for me. it’s a good trait to have.)

[rmwithluv]

50 questions! my lovely wifey ( @moonojoon keeps me active i swe- kajsjsjsjsjdkx ilysm! )

1. what takes up too much of your time?

haaa college honestly.

2. what makes your day better?

puppets, frands, food, youtube

3. what’s the best thing to happen to you today?

i woke tf up lol

4. what fictional place would you like to go to?

hogwarts duh! im a wizard bitch

5. are you good at giving advice?

i’ve been told i am but honestly some times ya girl has no idea whattt tf she’s saying

6. do you have any mental illness?

i’ve struggles with mental illnesses and i think at times they can come back and bite ya so atm life is grand my friend.

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

BITCH YES! twice in the same day actually lmao, small story time, the first two times were at school lmao i was sleeping in the hallway and although i was scared all i could think was, “holy shit if my friends see me like this they’re gonna think i’m weird asf” and then a couple hours later after an exam i was resting and it happened. the final time (dear god pls don’t let it happen again) i legit saw shadow people and felt freaked tf out. okay bye

8. what musician inspired you the most?

honestlyyyyy there’s so many but rn i can honestly say normani

9. have you ever fallen in love?

hahahahaha yes. the first one hurt like hell and i’m currently falling over and over again :)

10. what’s your dream date?

a picnic with beautiful cheeses, breads, sandwiches, snacks, ohhhh yaaaasss

11. what do others notice about you?

usually it’s my figure or my ass lol

12. what is an annoying habit you have?

procrastinating, overthinking, and eating ice

13. do you still talk to your first love?

yesss, he’s my best friend

14. how many exe’s do you have?

i always get confused with this bc i’ve had flings, lovers, and many more soooo yeh

15. how many songs are in your playlist?

i have over 18 playlists sooooo?

16. what instruments can you play?

noneeeee

17. what do you have the most pictures of?

myself bc im that bitch (i swear i’m not this confident lmao) memes, my friends, family, a certain wang, and ofc bts

18. where would you like to go before you die?

europeee!

19. what is your zodiac sign?

pisces (no wonder my wife and i get along so well)

20. do you relate to it?

h e l l y e a h

21. what is happiness to you?

being able to say i’ve had a rough week but i’m able to sit here and continue on honestly. life sucks ass sometimes but knowing i’m stronger than the obstacles ahead of me is happiness.

22. are you going through anything right now?

n o p e!

23. what’s the worst business decision you ever made?

not dropping my psychology class first semester & honestly me with money is just eh but i’m getting better!

24. what’s your favorite store?

bookstores, cafe’s, target, and ofc 3rd street promenade

25. what’s your opinion on abortion?

im pro-life buttt at the same time having a child isn’t easy and you never know what someone’s going through so ultimately i’m pro-life but it’s your body! do what’s best for you.

26. do you keep a bucket list?

yes actually! my lover made me make one bc he wants to take me to all the places i’ve never been :)

27. do you have a favorite album?

sweetener, anything one direction (basic i know, ed sheeran’s +, and many many more.

28. what do you want for your birthday?

if i could see my all of my lovely friends on here, trust me i’d take that in a second!

29. what are most peoples first impression of you?

scary, pretty bitch, bitchy and intimidating.

30. what age do you seem according to most?

honestly it depends on what i look like, some days ppl think i’m like 14? and others they think i’m my age.

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

right next to me.

32. what word do you say the most?

love that for me/you/them (wait is dat a phrase?) whet, uwu, nuuu, i luh u

33. what’s the oldest age you would date?

21!

34. what’s the youngest you’d date?

18!

35. what job/career do most people say would fit you?

model (psh i’m short asf) or actress

36. what’s your favorite music genre?

music in general

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

i enjoy where i’m at but i’d love to live in any part of europe for a year or two

38. what is your current favorite song?

ivy by frank ocean comes to mind rn

39. how long have you had this blog?

this one for a couple months now i assume? but i’ve had previous blogs. overall i’ve been on tumblr for around 6 years now

40. what are you excited for?

transferring into the university of my dreams and getting into their nursing program!

41. are you a better talker or listener?

def listener

42. what is the last productive thing you did?

cleaning my room

43. what do you want for christmas?

hmmm 🤔 im not sure yet but if i don’t have this soon then definitely james charles brush set

44. what class do you get the best grades in?

usually english/literature

45. one a scale to 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

8

46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? a pediatric nurse

47. when did you get your first heartbreak?

when i was like 13? when i realized that my life size poster of liam payne would love me more than than the real one ever would.

48. what age do you wanna get married?

24/25/26

49. what career did you wanna have as a child?

i wanted to be a wonder pet lmao

50. what do you crave rn?

a croissant sandwich from burger king yo

im tagging: @namjoonieftw @fflowermin, @jeonpetals

[ariistocracies]

back at it again at krispy kreme y’all ,, muse #2 aka my soft son jamie who just minds his own business and drinks too much coffee so pls handle w caution

tom holland. cismale. he/him. — did you see { jameson sokolov }, i haven’t seen the { twenty-two } year old in a while! you know, they’re a { yoga instructor }, and have been living in jersey city for { twenty-two years }. some say they’re { facetious & impetuous }, but i think they’re { scintillating & charismatic }. regardless, i’m glad { jamie } is here.

STATISTICS:

full name: jameson nikolai sokolov nicknames: jamie or james hometown: jersey city, new jersey sexuality: pansexual gender: cismale spoken languages: english & spanish hogwarts house: gryffindor

BACKSTORY:

okie so start off ,, ya boy jamie was a pure accident if we gonna be honest here .. his dad ( miles ) owns a string of popular private country clubs within south carolina, north carolina, and georgia that have been in his family for a long time with a strong dedicated membership and his mom ( evangeline ) who is uhhh ,, kinda younger than miles by a few years and was working the summer at one of his country clubs in hilton head as an events coordinator for kids when the two met

it was kind of like instant attraction when miles and evangeline met even though he was about 32 and she was 24 and u know ,, miles was engaged but anywho !!! askew moral compass aside . evangeline tried to keep it professional and bc u know , miles was about to be married but eventually the two fell together two months later much to obvious dismay of miles’ fiancée demetria

jamie adores his mom bc she’s a bit of a free spirit who is a bit of a hippie and believes strongly in astrology and ‘looks to the stars for guidance’ kind of jazz and v much a lives in the moment type of person ,, but she definitely fell in love for the first time when she met miles and let him extend her time position at the country club when they started their affair

miles absolutely loved evangeline and wanted to marry her but he had a family obligation to demetria and her parents with his own parents that he was willing to risk but that window of opportunity shut when it turns out evangeline was pregnant with jamie

so yeah ,, for the best evangeline parts with miles bc she figures it wasn’t their time so she leaves the country club and moves her and jamie down to carina bay where she has family and starts up her own apothecary business based on botanical medicines with a wide range of self-made lines from herbal teas, bath & body supplies, medicine & aromatherapy ,, smth of which she is v proud of bc she put herself through college for botanical medicine and saved up money through odd jobs to open it , plus u know miles helped contribute despite her arguments against it

jamie has an odd relationship with his dad ,, doesn’t really mind and is p chill about the whole situation despite it all .. he visits when he can and especially on birthdays ,, pays more than needed in child support bc he isn’t there as much as he’d like and adores jamie .. we stan a present father figure in this household !!! when jamie was about 7 miles opened a new country club outside of jersey city so he has more reason to come up to visit despite demetria and their family being v frustrated

PERSONALITY + PRESENT:

jamie’s mom always described him as an unexpected bundle of joy bc he was always such a giggly and calm baby and that definitely transfers well over to his personality now bc he’s just v laidback and doesn’t take life too seriously ?? which his mom’s temperament def rubbed off on jamie and kind of floated through life easily

the best i can describe it is just .. serena van der woodsen from gossip girl ?? bc jamie is overall a lovely person who’s incredibly nice and means well and can be v charming with his words and smile n dimples ,, so he unknowingly can have people wrapped around his finger without trying ?? occasionally takes advantage of it at times but not much , but things just come easy to him and opportunities just fall into his lap that seem easy to others

for as lax as his mom was in raising jamie, he ended up p tame compared to what he could’ve gotten up to with drinking and drugs .. essentially minded his own business and basically grew up helping his mom out at her apothecary and wandering around carina bay whether it be at the beach or an arcade or just out running , drinks occasionally but generally doesn’t make it a habit

him and his mom were well off bc of how much child support miles gave them so he attended private schools bc miles wanted jamie to have the best opportunities even though his mom was just gonna have him enrolled in public school ,, other than that, jamie was pretty popular throughout high school and was involved in the soccer team and yoga club but did it more out of hobby than anything else , did above average in his classes tbh

the only thing jamie kind of lacks is direction ?? has no clue what he wants to do in life bc he thinks he’s too young to have his future planned out so much and his mom doesn’t mind bc she thinks jamie will find out what he wants to truly do in time and the stars align ,, so yeah . he graduated within the top 30 of his class and got accepted to the colleges he applied to just in case he discovered what he wanted

obviously he hasn’t figured it out so he’s just floating through life that appears v simple and handed to him bc of the money his dad throws his way which is true .. jamie never tries to claim his life his hard bc he understands his privilege and not everyone has it

he put himself through classes to become a yoga instructor bc he enjoys it as a past time and figured why not do smth he actually likes, gets paid to do and has a workout in the midst of it all ??? his dad is literally the kris jenner meme of “ur doing great sweetie !!” with the camera and it’s cute bc sometimes he does yoga with jamie when he visits jfdnlsj

so yeah rn he’s just working as a yoga instructor and is generally an easy going guy who is easy to talk to, loves people and is just enjoying life ?? spends too much time watching the office on netflix, playing video games and has a bit of an obsession with making fresh smoothies so good luck to his roomies bc he will be using that blender whenever ,, and drag u to organic markets for his fruits n veggies and buys too many candles n lotions

tbh v open and not really looking to commit himself to anything or anyone at the moment ?? so he’s a kind hoe .. can sleep around but the type to not just ditch in the morning but will make u breakfast or a lil sticky note thanking u for an a+ time if he does have to jet but mainly just enjoys easy relationships rather than ones that are v demanding

[roseyturtles]

This is so so so important and I think it's time for me to put down on paper my thoughts on this matter.

When I was seventeen, I thought my life would turn out completely different from this. I was an A and B student with a promising future in medicine and enough scholarships to send me to my dream school. I wanted so badly to get my RN and become an OB/GYN. I wanted to marry the boy I had been dating for two years at that point. As you can imagine though, none of those things ended up working out.

First my relationship with the boy I was seeing fell apart. It broke my heart and the heart of everyone who was rooting for "true love" to prevail. (Yes, we were THAT couple, and yes it was obnoxious.) He said at the time that we were going in two different directions. He meant college, but now I see that even if we had stayed in the same area, it probably wouldn't have worked out anyways; he was a conservative Christian and I'm very much not. That relationship failed.

Next went my dream school. After my breakup I tried my damndest to stay away from my hometown. I only drove back home when I was absolutely required to do so, and I pushed myself to the brink to finish assignments to try and stay. But my mental health and lack of study skills combined with the fact that I no longer felt like grades were a life-or-death situation meant that things quickly went downhill. I flunked classes. I lost scholarships. I had to move back home to my grandparents' to stay. I failed out of my dream school.

Finally came the every idea of being a nurse at all. In the six month recess from going to college I managed to pick up a job at my local nursing home---and boy oh boy was that ever a mistake. Turns out that despite my nurturing nature, I still had a whole slew of issues that made my anxiety, depression, and PTSD act up every day I had to wake up at 5am and get ready for work. All good things to successful nurses with trauma, but for me, handling peoples' lives when I already felt like one mistake meant the end of all things was a recipe for disaster. I ended up quitting only a few months in when they transferred me to another hall because I'd be losing my mentor. I decided that I was simply not equipped for the high-stress environment of nursing at all. I failed in becoming a nurse.

The three things that defined my identity at seventeen managed to fall apart in the matter of just three years, all because of either my mental health or my personal ethics. If my life were a video game, that would either mean I was about to die or that I was going to get a "Game Over" screen and a chance to start fresh. But life doesn't give you either of those things, not by necessity. What it does give you is another day, and what you choose to do with that next day is what makes the difference. I'm not going to pretend that I'm some paragon of mental health, because I'm not. Just a few hours ago I self-harmed, and even now I fight off the urge.

But I know now that by sitting with your failures, by no longer denying their existence and by no longer denying that it's possible they'll happen again, you take away lessons. My relationship failed because he and I had different ethics, and quite frankly I'm not actually attracted to him. I love him, but I'm not attracted. My first school failed because of a lot of things, but a big part of it was because I was still living for someone else, even miles away from my abusive father. My potential for nursing failed because I was making a martyr of myself in a field where that ends up hurting more people than it helps.

And here's the thing. None of those make me a bad person. None of those make me unworthy of love. None of those make the self-harm I performed necessary. That's far easier to say than it is to internalize, sure. But I think that both my and whoever reading this's biggest takeaway should be is that failure is not a dirty word. It's not a permanent state of being and it's not a label above your head that everyone can see. It's the death tarot: An ending to something, and therefore a beginning to something else. For better or for worse, one door has closed and locked before you can go in, but that doesn't mean that other doors aren't available and it CERTAINLY doesn't mean that you lay down at the foot of the locked door and rot away.

Life gives you another day. What you do with that day is ultimately up to you, but for the best chance of a happy life my recommendation is to take needed time to accept that you got knocked down, then stand back up and try something else. You might very well be surprised the amount of opportunities that are now available to you because one got shut off. I'm a failure. I want to be able to say that without it being something that sends me into a downward spiral, because without that failure I wouldn't have the line of open doors that await me now.

Anyways, not a perfect analysis, but I got my thoughts out there. I'm gonna shower and drink a Dr. Pepper

About ten years ago I decided that the next step I needed to take in my life was to accept and explore what it meant to be a failure and to have failed. This infuriated almost everybody in my life and clearly terrified a lot of people. People do not want you to accept failure. They dont want you to like... Sit with and think about it and pick it up and turn it arpund in your hands and really examine it. They want you to keep throwing yourself against the impossible walls until your body explodes! They do not want you to say "alright then, I've failed. What does that mean for me? Im still here. What does the life of someone who has failed look like?"

This makes people very angry and panicky.

My mental health improved in ways it had not in the previous DECADE once I stopped. And. Sat. With failure. And thought about what my failure ... Was. And looked at the structures that produced it and examined them critically.

It is so taboo to fail and admit it openly and talk about it. It is so taboo to talk about or think about failure in an accepting way rather than hiding it shamefully until you experience a degree of success in some area which allows you to present the past failure as "a stepping stone" to your current situation. Fuck that. We are put in positions of guaranteed failure by society every day and then punished and shamed for it. Lets fucking talk about failure

[luisneer]

selected tweets 2016-17

These are tweets from my first @luisneer twitter account. Recently I made a new twitter account with the same username, after having deleted my account and having been without twitter for several months. These tweets are from August 2016 to March 2017, which was most of my first year of college at Shepherd University, in Shepherdstown, West Virginia. I don't go to Shepherd anymore; I transferred to West Virginia University, in Morgantown, WV, after my second semester. My tweets from late March 2017 to [July or August] 2017, when I deleted my twitter, were not archived. 

I'm creating this blog post so the world will have access to some of my tweets from the deleted @luisneer, in case they have any merit as literature. I'm still not sure if I will continue to use twitter in 2018/the future. Usually when I use twitter I feel like I'm actually wanting to be doing something else, but I don't know what; or wanting to be using "another app" that doesn't exist. Twitter generally seems bad for me. Questions about my tweets August 2016-March 2017 can be directed at luisneer@gmail.com. Thank you

    2016

   morgantown has ~48 vape shops

 **morgantown has ~480 vape shops

 siri has werner herzog-like inflections

 considering changing outfits when i take several walks in one day (so nobody thinks im a serial killer, stalker, spy, alien)

 think i remember ~5% of things i said today

 imagined vague connection btwn 'vitamin d' and 'reptar'

 felt distinctly that i was a monkey or chimpanzee while crouching in the corner of my dorm room eating peanuts out of a jar

 just thought (as a request to my mom) 'fax me my skateboard...'

 looked at toilet in bathroom stall with expression of 'utter terror' for what felt like ~15 seconds while it flushed

 listening to bright eyes with headphones at house show

 feel that the toothpaste i use is advancing decay of my teeth

 feel 100% certain that i could train myself to use telepathy to operate my phone during classes

 enjoying the sensation of my right leg 'falling asleep' during psychology class (left foot is also 'asleep')

 felt 'sociopathic' after eye contact w library worker who watched me pick up & pocket a pair of apple headphones someone had left on a chair

 left stolen apple headphones on gray bench across the street from my dorm

 repeatedly placed/removed sunglasses while walking in hallway

 strong desire to remove all positive patterns from my life and perpetuate/embrace all negative ones

 feel that my laptop 'knows' which parts of its screen im looking at

 in winchester, VA

 thought of my own music as having 'no compelling audible elements'

 thought of myself as being legally named 'the fuck up', then couldnt remember my actual name

 successfully, i feel, duplicated 'sociopath facial expression' during eye contact with arch-nemesis in stairwell

 ive taken 13800mg ibuprofen since i got to college

 feel compelled to ask my 9 yr old brother for advice re 'college-level' personal issues

 feel smart after sitting on couch in painting studio + reading art magazines for 2 hours

 persistent notion that 100% of students at my college personally hate me

 psychology professor muttered something like 'scary snake... endocrine system...'

 feeling heavily drugged/sedated in psych class

 psych professor seems obsessed with/terrified by snakes

 imagined kanye smoking crystal meth and tweeting something like 'please help me... cant feel mouth... need help'

 saw a moth at open mic, thought about god

 experiencing difficulty trying to smile

 enjoying using numerous cliches ('the case is closed', 'taking a step back', 'harsh realities') in an essay

 intrigued by conversation i had 9 hrs ago w/ 2 boys who countered my tone (calm, eloquent) exactly by being loud and rude in a friendly way

 felt simultaneously really cute and really lonely while giggling with my mouth closed in french class

 imagined kanye inventing the word 'compactualize' and using it in a sentence during a televised interview

 enjoyed 8-sentence john updike bio in norton lit anthology

 perceived person standing outside bathroom stall occupied by me could 'sense', via something like echolocation, that i was/am depressed

 spoke to french professor in what felt like a distinct persona/alternate luis neer called 'marge simpson voice' luis neer

 feel confidently that the public debut of 'marge simpson voice' luis neer was a success

 feel that 'marge simpson voice' luis neer is the culmination of an unconscious process that initiated in my mind maybe 3-5 years ago

 i want to identify/analyze additional alternate luis neers

 i dont like videos

 i came to college and got weirder, better at writing, more arrogant, more defeated, more sensible

 simultaneously feel that i should run 3 miles and that, at this moment, i would be incapable of running any distance

 feel urged to draw new attention to my 'marge simpson voice' tweets

 huge power outage at shepherd lol

 realized theres no such thing as a 'nation'

 remembered ive blown off obligations to several people, not just one person, so my irresponsibility doesnt 'have a focus', felt comforted

 feel that my follower count is 'crystallized' / will never increase or decrease ever again

 struggled to convert 'stick-and-poke' to past tense during conversation in line at sheetz

 feel it would be pleasurable to take a donut + bottle of coca-cola from this sheetz via armed robbery

 crossed busy road, felt really surprised i didnt get hit by a car, also i wasnt wearing glasses, was walking to sheetz, bought an icee

 laughed alone in my dorm thinking that i should print out a picture of barack obama to put on my wall

 drank from separate glasses containing soymilk, coffee, iced coffee, apple juice, cranberry juice, water, sprite for dinner/breakfas

 just thought 'from adorno to zizek' sans context while shitting

 opened gmail, emailed my father, closed gmail, opened gmail again, viewed email to my father, forwarded it to myself

 'camcorder' would be a good band name

 i thought arnold palmer had already died

 willem dafoe doesnt make me uncomfortable

 i want to stop being mean

 i hate bfs but i want to be someones bf

 wishing i was in a car with friends and no cellular service

 tangled up in myself and others

 twin peaks is depicted as a small town but its population is greater than that of every city in west virginia including the state capital

 eating shark

 thought of my own intelligence as 'frightening'

 thought while walking to class that ginger ale should be made public domain

 had the stitches on my chin removed today, touched the scar tissue for the first time

 i miss being in therapy

 i love carpet

 i love carpet !!

 just thought about my own tweets and lol'd

 mood lately very fragile

 this is what i get for staying up til 5 am

 all night i've felt a wave of dread swelling up, now it's really hitting me

 sound of laughter in public still frightening + unnerving

 my instinct for when to unfriend people on facebook has adapted so that i unfriend people over statuses that make me feel no emotions at all

 fuck, im feeling so much terror

 gucci mane was born 3 days before conor oberst

 the other day i mentioned that i was a poet and this vape guy interrupted me to say "and you didnt know it" and i went fucking nuclear

 interacted with mailman who was picking up mail as i was trying to mail chapbooks, he didnt notice at first that i was talking to him

 what if old people have secrets

 my dad is making me root for a football team but im in pain emotionally

 i feel guilty in general

 thought of my poem "portrait of a nation without any people" as the "lead single" for my full length; it appeared in potluck 14 months ago

 im close friends with satan rn

 feel like travis scott never intended for people to spell his name with a $

 from now on every time i get honey on something ill list the thing in this thread

 finger

 desk

 coffee cup exterior

 pajama pants

 knee

 carpet

 chin

 phone

 shirt

 shoe

 thought that my elderly geography prof. moves by "shuffling"

 feeling shorter, broader

 the only part of the new bright eyes box set i want is the booklet

 is there a booklet? i know there are nvr b4 sn photos

 the song "lime tree" came to conor oberst in a dream

 i like citing things in MLA

 i write essays by pretending im werner herzog

 doesnt seem to be getting later

 lit professor gave my project (sequence of 6 sonnets) a C, i wish she would have gotten me expelled, shelley + ginsberg both were expelled

 heard someone in another room ask "where's wal-mart?" as if wal-mart were a person whose location could change

 i think i just swallowed a filling while eating popcorn, i am very scared, please help

 crazy how things get worse

 there are people on my floor having tons of fun and im upset

 bit my mattress while sitting in the chair next to my bed

 weird that chance the rapper only has 2.4 million followers when he's sort of one of the most famous artists in the world rn

 also weird that donald trump has made 34,000 tweets, seems like an incredibly large number

 the strangeness of yesterday was, for me, augmented by people on the internet talking about a tv show that ive never seen or heard about

 the sunlight is obscene

 im so upset about the sun being so bright im afraid to go outside

 im glad im the only poet who likes trailer park boys

 i slept in a blanket fort under my bed and havent left it all day

 yr = your ur = you're

 my favorite things are pdfs

 now that ive adapted my living space to allow me to never leave my blanket fort i feel like my roommate, omar, exists in a parallel universe

 i hear him but i never see him

 i love latte art, i drink many lattes

 thought that twitter "isn't worth it" in an upset tone while drinking mtn dew

 felt pleasant considering uniqueness of all parent-offspring relationships

 went through my closet + made sure all shirts and jackets were zipped/buttoned

 my blanket is generating flashes of light from static electricity

 record store guy became visibly sick of me several months ago; feel a little guilty every time i enter his store to spend money

 i prefer EPs

 felt "out of control" walking downhill listening to dead kennedys with headphones

 writing an essay is difficult because idk how much relevant information other people have already considered / moved on from

 have been wanting to write at least one poem inside my blanket fort but i don't think it's going to happen, i don't know why

 the internet isn't big enough

 usually when i think "i dont understand the uproar about [event]" i realize there is no "uproar"

 "uproar" is media's way of manipulating the public spotlight and distracting people from important tasks

 feeling helpless + melancholy after dying 15 times and killing 2 stormtroopers in star wars battlefront

 the only way to attain conor oberst-level emo hair is to lay in bed and sob for hours

 i'm sad

 my mom was confused when i told her my first book comes out today

 was luis neer in odd future

 thought "sometimes i just want to end it and start all over" in an exasperated tone re my goodreads account

 becoming increasingly convinced it would be best for me personally to take myself extremely seriously/never joke about myself

 thinking that my tweets would seem terrible if i were a senator/governor/other politician

 imagined doomsday device for future @starwars movies: the "death train," a normal train that exists in space and destroys planets

 how does anyone do it

 in science fiction movies, spacecraft usually look like shopping malls

 everyone in the world is high except me

 feel like i want to have poems published immediately

 having delusions of grandeur

 im sitting on my record player

 my most-used word in 2016 was "bleak"

 prepared and ate garbanzo beans w a lot of rosemart at 2:00 AM

 my brother has a friend over and is being mean to the friend

 all i want for christmas is to never cheer up, ever

 watching eyes wide shut and hugging duckuc

 my nose feels like it's going to bleed

 im sad because every bf looks like me

 getting better at eating ice cream by punching it with my tongue

 the internet is too freaky...

 i think 2017 will be a year of realizing things

 im watching the angry birds movie

 the angry birds movie is so shitty... why was it made...

 ive never had a new years kiss

   2017

   im weird

 eating medicinal ice cream

 im not going to do any drugs in 2017

 made a medicinal phone call

 i want to drink some blood

 i dreamed that roger ebert wrote a negative review of life after ppl and called it "liner notes"

 years dont kill people

 feel inexplicably/explicably really scared about the future of my poetry career

 i've felt stoned since i was a baby

 downloading google earth

 made eye contact in starbucks with possible luis neer incarnation from ~50 years in future; bon jovi "dead or alive" played through speakers

 realised that at some point in the future i will become extremely interested in watching football

 i recommend reading poems extremely slowly while touching the text with your middle finger/index finger

 experiencing cognitive dissonance

 used phonetic clues to correctly predict meaning of & use the word "tandem" while discoursing with myself internally

 i miss steel pedal guitar sounds on conor oberst songs

 my previous incarnation "college luis neer" has evolved to become "high school luis neer-like luis neer in college setting"

 thought "man, i got to stop caring what people think about me" in an emphatic tone that seemed confusing/interesting

 mediocore

 beyonce is cool i think

 i want to re-read "v for vendetta" and to not tweet about it

 remembered that i own a pinata

 i will be at awp

 how could i make twitter a better place

 i saw 4 people wearing yeezys in dc this weekend

 feeling increasingly self-conscious about how much i use the phrase "in the world" or refer to "the world" in poems

 felt robot-like while attaching detachable headphones cord to my headphones while wearing the headphones

 watching shepherd univ lacrosse team practice from "safety of" student center

 i invented releasing two chapbooks in one day

 im dumber than me

 reasoned mentally that im more likely to produce accurate drawings of myself because "i basically look like a bird, so i just draw a bird"

 i want to have a "fake tweet" (e.g. a simple phrase) to tweet repeatedly every time i feel urged to tweet an uninformed/unimportant opinion

 my fake tweet for the foreseeable future will be "i dropped my textbook in the stairwell". when i tweet this it means i have an opinion

 i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

 does anyone remember the chapter of "the hobbit" where bilbo avoids starvation by ingesting peanut butter, honey, cherry nyquil, and water

 sensed that all my college friends just simultaneously shifted from having vague/non-serious negative feelings about me to hating me

 resulting from continuous building of irrepressible/inevitable conjecture in the friends' conscious thoughts

 eating chicken and squash

 i click on 100% of poetry links tweeted by poets i follow

 when i was writing Waves i was obsessed with waves (e.g. energy waves, frequencies) and used the word "waves" at least ~10 times every day

 i dropped my textbook in the stairwell

 white nike swooshes on shoes of boy in library look vibrant/magical

 terrified of being cool

 walked to library really slowly while listening to noise music through big headphones

 i was really, really yung when i started publishing and i'm still really yung

 2 chainz always looks like he's walking in an airport

 i have 5 twitters

 i didnt know what bill paxton looked like, i was thinking RIP gene hackman

 why doesnt anyone blog about me

 thesis statements arent real

 thinking about my book

 i deleted both my tumblrs by accident

 sad about my tumblr

 my name is all over the internet

 im a lizard

 someday there'll be no more ppl

 a lot of conor oberst song titles have parentheses

 feeling sad about the actions of my clone, who passed away

 idk how to use venmo or what it is

 present-day tumblr is like the end of the never ending story where atreyu is talking with the rock biter and the nothing is swirling around

 when someone, anyone, is upset with me im afraid im going to be assassinated

 the views-era apple music ads that depict drake working hard in the studio have really affected and inspired me

 on tumblr i have 4 followers

 almost all of my tweets seem unimportant

 feel that if someone told me that one of my tweets made them upset i would just apologize and delete it

 ground control to commander venus

 i like my new tumblr

 i would be wearing a cardigan rn but i dont have one

 feel that i will continue to generate bright eyes-related content throughout my life

 is everything ok

 i look like michael moore

[enjoyhumanzoo]

Life in ICU..or three new xboxes. Nurse’s story.

Hi there,

I am a nurse, and this is my story. Not the one blah blah where I am from (European) or where I went to school (Cardinal Stritch University :) )

Just a short story about my last weekend working in ICU..

I recently transferred to this small local hospital, nice place, nice area, lots of good feedback from patients and staff. 

Hospital is about 30-40 min drive away from my house depending on traffic, so I left early, was driving and listening to music which was at times interrupted by the voice from GPS directing to the shortest route  (and how on Earth we lived before-GPS-times? Anyone remembers paper maps? :) )  So, at 7 am I was ready to punch in at our time clock.  In report room I met with Ken, RN in ICU who was supposed to be my preceptor for a weekend, to whom I was supposed to go for an advice if something (hopefully not) goes wrong etc..

Ken is about 5′10 skinny fit pleasant guy in his 50′s, fast talking and very friendly.. Another ICU nurse was George, tall guy in his 30′s, and two respiratory therapists Tammy and Nick. “Cool,” I thought and went to get my report. Most of those patients are very complex so it took about 30 min to get report and start assessing them, give medications, and so on..

When I was finally done with my morning medications and all assessments I decided to go to our break room to check my phone. My oldest son who lives in California, graduated college there with honors, got a great job, smart motivated and very creative guy, so, he just broke up with his girlfriend of three years and even he knows it’s for the best,  he is heartbroken, kept sending me sad messages for the last few days. 

I went to break room just to see Nick, our respiratory therapist younger guy in his 30’s, .. crying..with his head down..and George, my coworker nurse enthusiastically telling him that Nick needs to forget this ex girlfriend  (apparently Nick’s fiancee, girlfriend of 8 years, just left him..) and instead of ruminating and mourning to go and buy new xbox.. Nick lifted up his head and tearfully tried to convince George that he cant forget her, that she is hot, and then he took his glasses off and wiped tears..”Why don’t you buy xbox yourself, “ Nick was looking at George angrily..”You just called off your own wedding..”

George’s face flushed, and it seemed to me he will join Nick and cry, too..But he just cleared his throat and calmly responded..”I got engagement ring back. I am going to sell it and buy xbox. the newest version. It’s supposed to be cool.”

Nick was done wiping his eyes, put back his glasses and conversation switched to xboxes..Where to buy and best deals..

I was listening with one ear to their conversation while reading my son’s messages..Yes, there were few.. all about his breakup..I looked at my peers and announced that my son, too, just broke up with his girlfriend..”He needs xbox..” George said..”Yes,” Nick apparently had decided pro exbox, while I was reading messages.. “Xbox is the best thing..”

I thought it’s funny, so I texted my son “Buy that newest xbox, my coworkers are recommending..” and put a smiley face at a end of the sentence..Suddenly phone rang, and it was my son.. Saying its cool idea..He is going to do that..getting xbox... My peers enthusiastically nodded..yep, xbox, thats all you need..the best thing for a guy..

“Lucky for Best Buy,” i thought to myself, “Three xboxes will be sold for sure in next few days..”..:)

Who knew xbox is the perfect remedy for a broken heart.. :)

I went back to floor giggling to myself..

“What’s up with you?” Ken asked while charting by nurses station..I filled him in..As a response I learned more broken heart stories..:) This time Ken’s..

Do you have an xbox, I asked…”Ney,” Ken responded, that’s for Millennials, “I went for Iron man race after a breakup..” to prove myself I can do anything.. ”What about you?” he leaned closer..”Hmm” I thought..”What to say to a friendly stranger..”  I opted for very vague truth.. “My heart is stolen so nothing is happening..”..I said. Ken smiled, “So we all are heartless here,” 

““But with xboxes”..that was George joining us at a nurses station, and we all had a friendly laugh, and then we just charted in silence interrupted only by cardiac monitor alarms..

I finished my charting and got a cup of coffee..and was thinking about life and love, about my son, about my new coworkers and about all our fucking broken hearts..and I needed a tissue, too..

”Are you sneezing,” that was Dr Vida..”Sounds like allergies,” she looked at me..”You need Vitamin C 1000 mg a day and Vitamin D 2000 units to take every morning before you come to work..” “Its all because of those chemicals..”

“Sure..” I responded wiping my eyes.

Meantime Nick was coming back from a break room with eyes red like a rabbit..”I never will have anyone like her, “ he said..” She was so hot..” and he looked like he will cry again..

“Stop obsessing, You can have anyone you want..“ Ken responded and went to answer patient’s callight..

”Allergies,” Dr Vidu was staring at Nick..”Everyone here is allergic to those freakin’ chemicals..You, guys, all should take vitamins,”  

“Xbox,” George was coming back from patient’s room “Just xbox..There is a deal going right now..” 

But then alarm in patient’s room sounded..vent alarm..and that sound made us to forget it all..except for an alarm..and life on a line..We  all rushed to the patient’s room… and everything else was suddenly non important..xboxes..exes and vitamins…

Just life of a patient.. and us.. to whom he relies on..

“Baptismal by fire..” unit secretary, joked later….”Yep..It.s been busy three days. I don’t remember if I combed my hair this morning,” I smiled back to her..”It’s my third 12-hour shift in a row..”

“You survived,” She nodded..

“Yes, I did, “ I thought..and everybody else did, too..my patient, my coworkers...friends..family..fellow people..

And I learned something, too..that xbox is a perfect remedy to heal guys heart..

And that we all with our broken or stolen hearts..with or without xboxes, can heal the heart of another..one who is trusted to us to care about..and each others..

Life in ICU…Guys, xboxes…broken hearts..and some heroes..

:)

[fingerprintingexpress-blog]

Nevada Board of Nursing Licensing Requirements [Ultimate Guide] - https://www.fingerprintingexpress.com/nevada-board-of-nursing-licensing-requirements/

New Post has been published on https://www.fingerprintingexpress.com/nevada-board-of-nursing-licensing-requirements/

Nevada Board of Nursing Licensing Requirements [Ultimate Guide]

At Fingerprinting Express, we feel that nursing is one of the most impactful careers out there. Good nurses help save lives and touch the hearts of patients and their families every day, even while working in the most high-stress, demanding conditions. Because of the importance and nature of the job, nurses must adhere to strict guidelines, stay current on licensure and training, and undergo regular fingerprinting background checks for the safety of the public.

Whether you are considering becoming a nurse in Nevada, are an experienced licensed nurse needing to renew a license, or work as a traveling nurse, this post will help you understand the steps needed to get your licensure and stay current.

Background Information on Nursing Jobs in Nevada

According to the National Nursing Database, there are currently around 4,130 Licensed Practical Nurses (LPNs) and 42,029 Registered Nurses (RNs) in Nevada. If you have a passion for helping people in a medical setting, nursing can be a rewarding and well-paying career. The average LPN in Nevada makes around $55,000, and an RN earns around $84,980 per year (annual mean wage). Salaries vary depending on where you work and your level of experience. Nevada is working to raise its status in the healthcare industry. There are several scholarships and grants providing assistance toward Nursing education in efforts to increase the amount of healthcare professionals in Nevada. It has been estimated as of 2017, that Nevada needed over 5,500 licensed nurses just to catch up to National average. According to University of Nevada Reno’s Health Workforce Supply in Nevada Policy Report, Nevada ranks 48th in registered nurses for our population. Thankfully, Nevada has organizations like HEALS Las Vegas that are working hard to change the Nevada Healthcare Industry rankings, including Nevada’s registered nurses.

Nurses work across a number of different specialty areas in the following settings:

Hospitals

Physicians’ offices

Nursing homes

Assisted living facilities

Group homes

Home healthcare settings

Outpatient clinics

Schools

Military service

Disability care

In addition to the settings listed above, there is a high demand for nurses that are willing to travel. Traveling nurses go to different locations on a short-term basis (typically 8-26 weeks) depending on the assignment. Perks include great benefits and pay, housing compensation, flexibility, and the excitement of working with world-class doctors in various facilities. If you like to travel and enjoy the variety of different environments, this may be the perfect position for you! Learn more about requirements for obtaining a traveling nursing position in Nevada here.

How to Apply for Your Initial Nursing License in Nevada

Whether you are applying for your LPN or RN licensure, there are a number of steps you will need to take in order to obtain your nursing license. First, you will need to complete an approved nursing program in Nevada. The Nevada State Board of Nursing has given its full approval to certain schools to instruct Nevada nurses in all aspects of their pre-licensure nursing programs. Some of these educational facilities include the University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV); the University of Nevada, Reno (UNR) Orvis School of Nursing; Las Vegas College; and several others. See the complete list here.

Next, you will need to register for and pass the National Council Licensure Examination (NCLEX). LPNs take the NCLEX-PN and RNs sit for the NCLEX-RN. Here are some additional details on the application and registration process for the NCLEX.

Once an individual has competed an approved program and passed the national licensing examination, RNs and LPNs are encouraged to apply for licensure through the Nevada Nurse Portal, a secure and confidential cloud-based system that allows nurses to apply for, renew, and access information related to their license or certificate status from one convenient place. To get started you will need to access the Nevada State Board of Nursing Nurse Portal, create an account, follow the instructions to complete the application, and then submit it when finished.

You will be required to undergo a fingerprinting background check to determine eligibility for licensure during this process.

The Nevada Licensure Process for International and Out-Of-State Nurses

Many nurses transferring to Nevada from another state wonder if Nevada is a part of the Nursing Licensure Compact (NLC). The NLC is a multi-state agreement that twenty-five states currently participate in which allows nurses moving from one state to another to use their current license if both states participate in the Nursing Licensure Compact (NLC). Currently, Nevada doesn’t participate in the NLC, but you can apply for licensure by endorsement if you are an RN or LPN. Follow the steps below to apply for an endorsement:

Complete the application form, including applicable license/fingerprinting fees.

Include evidence of graduation from a qualifying nursing education program.

Provide official verification (or endorsement) from the state where you were originally licensed.

Complete fingerprints.

When you begin the endorsement process, you will receive a temporary permit while waiting for the results of the background check. The Board recommends having fingerprints done as soon as possible since it can take up to four months to get the results. Contact the Nevada State Board of Nursing for details on the RN/LPN Endorsement application process.

If you’ve graduated from an international program, you can be licensed in Nevada if the program you completed meets Nevada’s legal requirements. To accomplish this, you will send your credentials, including professional licenses and nursing education, to be reviewed and evaluated by the Commission on Graduates of Foreign Nursing Schools. Additionally, if you have graduated from a program where English is the not the primary language, you will have to pass an English proficiency exam. Fingerprints and a background check will also be required as a part of the process. Learn more about the steps needed here.

Nursing License Renewal Process in Nevada

RNs and LPNs are required to renew their nursing license every two years. You can access the Nevada Nurse Portal to start the process of renewing your license online. Here are the renewal requirements for Nevada nurses:

Completion of 30 hours of nursing-related continuing education within the previous two-year period

Completion of the renewal application

Completion of fingerprint background check by the Board or an approved vendor (Renewal applicants must undergo a criminal background check every five years or as directed by the NSBN.)

Payment of the renewal fee (varies depending on licensure)

In addition, RNs and LPNs must complete a one-time, four-hour bioterrorism course in accordance with the Nurse Practice Act.

*Note: NSBN works with Nursys e-Notify, a free notification service that will send automatic email and SMS updates to help you stay current on your information related to your licensure. You can sign up for this handy tool to receive reminders of your license expiration, updates on the status of your license, and other pertinent information regarding your license.

Frequently Asked Questions About Fingerprinting

Naturally, nurses have many questions about fingerprinting and requirements from the Nevada State Board of Nursing. Here are some answers to commonly asked questions.

Q: How often do nurses need to undergo background checks?

A: The NSBN made fingerprinting mandatory for all initial applications as of 1/1/2000. Fingerprinting became a requirement for licensure/certificate renewals as of 10/1/2010. If your initial license was issued five years ago, you will need to submit fingerprints. The Board requires all applicants for renewal to undergo criminal background checks every five years (or as directed).

Q: How do I know when I need to be fingerprinted?

A: Fingerprinting is required for initial licensure. Upon renewal, you should receive a notification letter outlining your need for fingerprints when the Board receives your renewal application (for paper and online renewals).

Q: Will my criminal conviction keep me from a nursing career in Nevada?

A: Not all criminal convictions will keep you from obtaining/renewing a nursing license. Click here to see what the NSBN has to say about criminal convictions. It is important to be honest when answering questions on your initial licensure/renewal applications. If you answer “no” to a question and then you are found to have a conviction, your application will be considered fraudulent and it will be denied.

Q: Should I get fingerprinting done prior to renewing my license?

A: No need, but you are urged to have it done as soon as possible after receiving notification from the Board that it is needed for renewal. Livescan is the fastest way to process, if you are submitting hard fingerprint cards it is recommended you mail them in at least 5 months beforethe expiration of your license.

Q: If I recently had fingerprints done in another state, can I use those?

A: No. You will need to submit a new set of fingerprints to the Board as FBI regulations do not allow sharing of criminal history reports.

Q: Do I need to get my fingerprinting done at the Nevada Nursing Board office?

A: No. However, you do need to have your fingerprints done by any authorized fingerprinting vendor to submit your fingerprints. The Board strongly encourages having your fingerprints collected at a facility that uses electronic submission. If you are out of state you will mail in hard fingerprint cards. Fingerprinting Express accepts walk-ins 6 days a week.

Q: How long will it take for the Board to receive my fingerprint report?

A: Livescan electronic submission is the fastest way to process. By Nevada law, NDPS must send the results within 30 days. Fingerprinting Express has produced results as soon as 5 days. Hard cards can take from two to sixmonths to get the results, so it is recommended that you have your fingerprints done as soon as possible after you receive notification that they are needed. Please note, it will take the board longer to license you after they receive your criminal history report.

Q: What if my fingerprints are rejected? Does that mean a criminal conviction has been found?

A: Not necessarily. This is not unusual and can happen for several reasons. Sometimes it is a poor-quality print due to operator error or inexperience. Having Livescan fingerprinting done virtually eliminates these types of errors. Other times it is because nurses (especially those who have been in the field for years) may have worn down fingerprints. There are temporary reasons fingerprint ridge detail is not capturing. This is why the State and FBI will request another set of fingerprints to see if better ridge detail can be captured on a different day. You cannot submit the same fingerprints twice. If you require ink fingerprints, it is best to go with a highly-rated fingerprinting facility for the best results.

Q: Sometimes I have to be fingerprinted twice in one visit. Why is that?

A: This typically happens when both the employer and the Board require fingerprints. For legal reasons, each set of fingerprints requires a separate submission. Fingerprint facilities must put the lawful reason for fingerprinting on the record. These lawful reasons are different for licensing and employment. This is usually the case with nurses working in long-term, elderly or disability care.

Fingerprinting Express—Fingerprinting Nevada’s Nurses for Over 15 Years

At Fingerprinting Express, we are proud to offer four convenient locations to provide the best fingerprinting services to Nevada’s nurses. We do our best the first time to prevent rejections – we have the lowest rejection rates at .002% (industry average is 1% rejection rates). We use high-resolution technology and have special techniques to get the best possible fingerprints the first time. Our clean, modern facilities and friendly, expert staff ensure that you have a fast and pleasant experience. An approved vendor by the Nevada Nursing Board, we offer traditional hard cards and Livescan fingerprinting which can be submitted electronically. Get in touch with us today to schedule an appointment or walk into any of our locations at your convenience.

 If you are a nurse in need of fingerprinting for licensure or renewal, you can count on Fingerprinting Express! Call today with any questions or to schedule your appointment at 1-800-919-0227 or walk in when it is most convenient for you. Click here to find a store near you.

    Other Articles To Read:

What Shows Up On A Criminal Background Check?

Requirements For Obtaining A Traveling Nursing Position In Nevada

Electronic Fingerprint Background Checks In Nevada: A Growing Security Measure

[3ezentrum3-blog]

Ovarian Cancer: Build a Winning Treatment Team

In the event that there is a determination or solid doubt of ovarian disease, instantly go get a board affirmed gynecologic oncologist. This is a gynecologist who has experienced long periods of additional preparation and examinations to wind up board guaranteed being taken care of by ladies with gynecologic growths. This incorporates performing medical procedure, giving chemotherapy and prescribing regardless of whether radiation is required. Note that radiation is once in a while utilized in ovarian tumor treatment.

A board qualified oncologist who has finished association preparing is a choice also. This implies they have finished preparing, yet are required to rehearse a couple of years before being permitted to take the last board confirmation exam. These enthusiastic, as of late prepared oncologists are generally practically speaking with more senior doctors so you will regularly get group based care in such private or University rehearses.

On the off chance that you are under the care of a gynecologic oncologist who does not motivate certainty or does not present some sort of uplifting viewpoint, go get another. It is not necessarily the case that they ought to paint a rose garden picture. Be that as it may, it is sensible to anticipate that your primary doctor will be objective yet reassuring if at all conceivable. The treatment is hard and the result may not generally be the best, but rather you do have a battling shot and you should feel that your gynecologic oncologist is in your corner, giving individual consideration and best in class data all through.

Try not to let anybody, including companions, family doctors, general gynecologists, careful oncologists, therapeutic oncologists, or some other specialist persuade you that their group is similarly as great without a gynecologic oncologist. You totally, decidedly require a gynecologic oncologist as a feature of your group!! Once more, don't give anybody a chance to persuade you generally.

You can discover help and a rundown of gynecologic oncologists in your general vicinity at www.sgo.org (Society of Gynecologic Oncologists) or www.wcn.org (Womens Cancer Network). As far as anyone is concerned there is no exhaustive and precise global registry. Notwithstanding, you may have a go at reaching the International Gynecologic Cancer Society at www.igcs.org, who might have the capacity to enable you to locate a gynecologic oncologist in your nation.

Your gynecologic oncologist could conceivably work intimately with a medicinal oncologist as opposed to managing chemotherapy his/her-self. A medicinal oncologist is a specialist who works in offering chemotherapy to patients with every single diverse sort of malignancy, gynecologic or not. Most don't see the same number of patients with ovarian growth as a gynecologic oncologist, yet can be critical individuals from a group approach in treating your disease. In focuses or therapeutic gatherings where treatment is frequently conveyed by a multi-disciplinary group, medicinal oncologists assume a basic part in managing the chemotherapy, working in conjunction with a gynecologic oncologist.

Who else do you require? As a matter of first importance, bear in mind that YOU are a colleague! The specialists you work with will give you alternatives, conclusion, data, treat you and so on., however you should be a functioning leader since we are discussing YOUR body here. You likewise must know about what to search for in how your body reacts, with the goal that you can transfer that data to your doctor(s). They can't think about what may go ahead with you. Ensure that you feel good with your specialists. You ought to have the capacity to make inquiries, and transfer fears and concerns.

When you visit your doctor(s), ensure you have every one of your inquiries arranged and record them in the event that you have to with a specific end goal to remain sorted out. A few specialists will give you a chance to record your visits, others will lean toward that you don't. An option is to convey a relative or companion to enable you to hear everything.

Different individuals from the group may include:

Essential Care Doctor - Your Primary Care Doctor is ideally the one you definitely know and trust for your fundamental medicinal care. Generally, this specialist is a Family Practitioner via preparing, however might be an Internal Medicine specialist or a Gynecologist. They will regularly remain included to deal with your wellbeing past that of growth care and help in circumstances where restorative administration is required around the season of medical procedure.

Careful Oncologist - Surgical oncologists are specialists who spend additional years preparing to precisely deal with malignancy patients. They are not a substitute for a gynecologic oncologist, but rather might be extremely useful when your careful needs go past that of a gynecologic oncologist. For instance, while gynecologic oncologists are prepared to perform medical procedure in numerous territories of the body, a careful oncologist might be included when an expansive piece of the liver should be expelled or chest medical procedure should be finished.

Medical caretaker Practitioner - Nurse-specialists are attendants who have gone past the fundamental RN degree and got additional preparation in medicinal services. They may help your specialists by performing examinations on you and might possibly be approved to compose solutions for drugs you require. This relies on the State you live in.

Oncology Nurse - Oncology attendants are RNs who have concentrated, and are frequently particularly confirmed in, growth mind. Regularly you may have oncology attendants regulating chemotherapy to you; something that they are uniquely ensured to do.

Social Worker - Licensed social laborers are your association with wide scope of encouraging groups of people in your restorative office and encompassing network. Social specialists may intercede by giving individual, couple, or family directing, offering bunch instruction or bolster, and by working with local gatherings in the advancement of assets to help patients in addressing their own needs.

A psychosocial evaluation gives the premise to the social specialist intercession. This appraisal incorporates assessment of patient assets, qualities, and emotionally supportive networks, for example,

past adapting practices

family bolster

living plans

training level

work

recreation interests

budgetary circumstance

The social specialist additionally addresses the patient's enthusiastic reaction and response to the ailment, the effect of the infection upon the family, the impact on the patient's connections and parts, and other individual or social issues. Option or Complementary Practitioners - Many focuses have integrative solution programs, or have at any rate a few experts who speak to option and corresponding ways to deal with disease mind. The most demonstrated alternatives are those which help control your indications, help bolster your quality and potentially your safe framework. These specialists may have different degrees including PhD, naturopathy(ND), chiropractic (DC), or may have no degrees however with broad involvement in rub treatment, music treatment or accupuncture/accupressure. As opposed to looking for obscure professionals with dubious abilities, the best procedure is to request a referral from an edified standard medication specialist. There is a considerable measure of deception and misinformed individuals out there, whose guidance can hurt you and cause you to lose your most obvious opportunity with regards to a fix.

At last, the accompanying are some broad inquiries you should need to consider in setting up your group and choosing your primary doctors.

It is safe to say that you are cooperation prepared and board affirmed or board qualified?

Will's identity my primary specialist in planning treatment?

Do you put stock in examining choices with me, including conceivable research choices?

On the off chance that I have issues amid treatment who do I call and how would I contact them? Is this the same on ends of the week?

What costs are secured by my protection and who do I converse with about this?

What sort of help administrations are accessible to me and where do I discover them?

In the event that you are occupied with integral and characteristic guides, you might need to inquire as to whether your specialist would consider or talk about reciprocal and elective alternatives, or allude to a partner who can.

To your triumph!!

Steven A. Vasilev MD,MBA,FACOG,FACS is an association prepared and board affirmed gynecologic oncologist, which implies he is extraordinarily prepared and guaranteed to deal with ladies with gynecologic growths utilizing a wide range of aptitudes. He has polished at scholastic and additionally private focuses, has been on the personnel of three colleges and keeps on being engaged with research and instruction. You can visit http://www.gyncancerdoctor.com to take in more about screening, anticipation and treatment of gynecologic diseases.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/master/Steven_Vasilev_MD/63426

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/373676

[kutee-boutique-fan-blog]

Rick And Morty Get Schwifty Shirt

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Angie, you cant be a degree. Not everyone who completes Rick And Morty Get Schwifty Shirt as a Nurse, direct patient care or otherwise. I have an Associates in Police Science, that doesnt make me a Constable. Education is great, however, a better nurse it doesn’t make. This “push ” for higher education will push great nurses out the door because of aging, child care problems, financial issues etc. you can not learn what you don’t have , i.e. compassion, empathy and work ethic !

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you’re so right! I loved nursing (34 years) but I hate what it’s become. I’m too old and too poor to go back to school, but if I did it would be something different. 18 months to go here. I treasure every minute of my almost 40 year career, but I’m grateful it’s coming to a close. Healthcare has changed too much. 40+ years as a diploma RN. Now I have 2 years to enroll in a BSN program and 5 years to complete it. My cost…. $30,000 not figuring in the time away from family to devote to school. This is forcing many experienced nurses into early retirement. Hardly seems fair.

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I finished my BSN online. Total cost 9,000. All but 1000 paid by my employer. Maybe you need to look at a different school. If my employer pays and I don’t finish for any reason, I have to pay the money back. And I have no college credits, so starting from scratch. Try western governors competency based tuition based on 6 months of classes of which you can accelerate and totally on line. I am ready to for early retirement we know spend more time on computers not with the patients.

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Call me ignorant, but I could never understand getting rid of LPNs. I agree with the compassion, care and work ethic that don’t always come with initials after your name.  I graduated from a diploma program in 1979. I did start a BSN program twice and determoned very quickly that much of it was BS, and frankly ridiculius. Taking anatomy after using it every day for over 20 years was insulting. I worked in a busy city ED for 34 years and never had a patient question my degree. They cared about me being an RN and giving the best care, and that meant keeping up with the most current evidence based practice!

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There is no need for an advanced nursing degree until the financial return is worth it for bedside nurses. Why keep going into debt for your BSN and MSN when there is no financial return for your investment. The only thing you carry is new initials behind your name and a larger piece of debt. Yet you still make the same amount of money as the ADN or diploma prepared nurse working side by side with you. And BOTH provide the same type of care.

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The key components to being a good nurse is not something that can be taught in school. Compassion, caring and work ethic are something that you need to be a nurse and the higher the degree does not mean the more compassion, caring and work ethic an individual will have. When the pay compensation meets the degree time and money spent then it should be required.  I graduated in 1982 with an ADN. It was said by 1990, all RNs must have BSN. Then by the turn of the Rick And Morty Get Schwifty Shirt. Get the picture. As a single parent returning to school was impossible even with tuition reimbursement. When I could return all my credits were too old to transfer.

[enjoyhumanzoo]

Life in ICU..or three new Xboxes. Nurse’s story.

October 2017

Hi there,

I am a nurse, and this is my story. Not the one blah blah where I am from (European) or where I went to school (Cardinal Stritch University :) )

Just a short story about my last weekend working in ICU.

I recently transferred to this small local hospital, nice place, nice area, lots of good feedback from patients and staff.

Hospital is about 30-40 min drive away from my house depending on traffic, so I left early, was driving and listening to music which was at times interrupted by the voice from GPS directing to the shortest route  (and how on Earth we lived before-GPS-times? Anyone remembers paper maps? :) )  So, at 7 am I was ready to punch in at our time clock.  In report room I met with Ken, RN in ICU who was supposed to be my preceptor for a weekend, to whom I was supposed to go for advice if something (hopefully not) goes wrong etc..

Ken is about 5′10 skinny fit pleasant guy in his 50′s, fast-talking and very friendly... Another ICU nurse was George, tall guy in his 30′s, and two respiratory therapists Tammy and Nick. “Cool,” I thought and went to get my report. Most of those patients are very complex so it took about 30 min to get the report and start assessing them, give medications, and so on.

When I was finally done with my morning medications and all assessments I decided to go to our break room to check my phone. My oldest son who lives in California, graduated college there with honors, got a great job, smartly motivated and very creative guy, so, he just broke up with his girlfriend of three years and even he knows it’s for the best,  he is heartbroken, kept sending me sad messages for the last few days.

I went to break room just to see Nick, our respiratory therapist younger guy in his 30’s, .. crying..with his head down..and George, my coworker nurse enthusiastically telling him that Nick needs to forget this ex-girlfriend (apparently Nick’s fiancee, girlfriend of 8 years, just left him..) and instead of ruminating and mourning to go and buy new Xbox.. Nick lifted up his head and tearfully tried to convince George that he can't forget her, that she is hot, and then he took his glasses off and wiped tears..”Why don’t you buy Xbox yourself, “ Nick was looking at George angrily..”You just called off your own wedding..”

George’s face flushed, and it seemed to me he will join Nick and cry, too...But he just cleared his throat and calmly responded..”I got an engagement ring back. I am going to sell it and buy the Xbox. the newest version. It’s supposed to be cool.”

Nick was done wiping his eyes, put back his glasses and conversation switched to Xboxes..Where to buy and best deals...

I was listening with one ear to their conversation while reading my son’s messages..Yes, there were few.. all about his breakup...I looked at my peers and announced that my son, too, just broke up with his girlfriend..”He needs Xbox..” George said..”Yes,” Nick apparently had decided pro Xbox, while I was reading messages.. “Xbox is the best thing..”

I thought it’s funny, so I texted my son “Buy that newest xbox, my coworkers are recommending..” and put a smiley face at a end of the sentence..Suddenly the phone rang, and it was my son.. Saying its cool idea..He is going to do that..getting xbox… My peers enthusiastically nodded..yep, xbox, thats all you need..the best thing for a guy..

“Lucky for Best Buy,” i thought to myself, “Three xboxes will be sold for sure in next few days..”..:)

Who knew xbox is the perfect remedy for a broken heart.. :)

I went back to the floor giggling to myself..

“What’s up with you?” Ken asked while charting by nurses station..I filled him in..As a response, I learned more broken heart stories..:) This time Ken’s..

Do you have an xbox, I asked…”Ney,” Ken responded, that’s for Millennials, “I went for Iron man race after a breakup..” to prove myself I can do anything.. ”What about you?” he leaned closer..”Hmm” I thought..”What to say to a friendly stranger..”  I opted for a very vague truth.. “My heart is stolen so nothing is happening..”..I said. Ken smiled, “So we all are heartless here,”

““But with xboxes”..that was George joining us at a nurses station, and we all had a friendly laugh, and then we just charted in silence interrupted only by cardiac monitor alarms..

I finished my charting and got a cup of coffee..and was thinking about life and love, about my son, about my new coworkers and about all our fucking broken hearts..and I needed a tissue, too..

”Are you sneezing,” that was Dr. Vida..”Sounds like allergies,” she looked at me..”You need Vitamin C 1000 mg a day and Vitamin D 2000 units to take every morning before you come to work..” “Its all because of those chemicals..”

“Sure..” I responded wiping my eyes.

Meantime Nick was coming back from a break room with eyes red like a rabbit..”I never will have anyone like her, “ he said..” She was so hot..” and he looked like he will cry again..

“Stop obsessing, You can have anyone you want.,“ Ken responded and went to answer patient’s callight..

”Allergies,” Dr. Vidu was staring at Nick..”Everyone here is allergic to those freakin’ chemicals..You, guys, all should take vitamins,”  

“Xbox,” George was coming back from the patient’s room “Just xbox..There is a deal going right now..”

But then alarm in patient’s room sounded..vent alarm..and that sound made us to forget it all..except for an alarm..and life on a line..We  all rushed to the patient’s room… and everything else was suddenly non important..xboxes..exes and vitamins…

Just life of a patient.. and us.. to whom he relies on...

“Baptismal by fire..” unit secretary, joked later….”Yep..It.s been busy three days. I don’t remember if I combed my hair this morning,” I smiled back to her..”It’s my third 12-hour shift in a row..”

“You survived,” She nodded..

“Yes, I did, “ I thought..and everybody else did, too..my patient, my coworkers…friends..family..fellow people..

And I learned something, too..that xbox is a perfect remedy to heal guys heart..

And that we all with our broken or stolen hearts..with or without xboxes, can heal the heart of another..one who is trusted to us to care about..and each others..

Life in ICU…Guys, xboxes…broken hearts..and some heroes..