#I get why she hasn't found a cure yet for me but... I really do need a cure; the infection came back once

[medicinemane]

If I didn't have other more important things like this chronic infection, which are things I want dealt with but haven't been able to get dealt with... in other words if I didn't have higher unmet medical priorities, I'd really wish someone could tell me why my joints hurt so bad sometimes

It's like... in between the bones in my fingers and toes and wrist and ankles, and I just... I doubt there's a cure, I just want to know why and... perhaps... to be told it makes life harder and maybe it explains part of why I'm such a lazy fuck up

But if the medical community can't even cure an infection cause of where it's located... you think they'll be able to find something that esoteric?

I don't

[cvnt4him]

Reader who got hit w a bunny quirk during a mission w izu please smuttt I love yew💋

I love you too bbg💕

This is actually like a great idea and I had the EXACT same one except izuku was the bunny. Yeah this one is way fucking better.

"don't be amused, it's just the news! This just in; we have more details about pro heros deku and y/n's fight with the new and upcoming villain; sphinx. A local has given us amateur footage of y/n getting blasted with sphinx's quirk! They have the ability to turn others and themselves into animals! Y/n has been out of the hero scene for a while, as far as we know with the information her close friend and partner deku has given us, she's going to be out of hero work for a while, they haven't found a cure or much of a loophole with sphinx's quirk. Next in a cat stuck in a tre---"

You shut the TV off with a groan of annoyance. Why hadn't this gone away yet? You've been like this for a week. A long, miserable, insufferable, week. You weren't alone, even if you wanted to be, izuku wouldn't let you. He felt guilty, he felt as if you were like this because of him. During your fight together he pushed you out of the way when a flying car had come your way, you'd known nothing about the villain upon fighting them. Izuku however, knew everything about the villain, he pulled his mask up before the fight even began.

Izuku always got in a certain head space when fighting whether it be a measly robber, or a very experienced and high tech villain. He always made sure he was ready and that morning could take him out of this state. He just wishes he had warned you beforehand of what the villain was capable of.

You look at your reflection in the black TV screen with a frown. You hated the way you looked. Two fluffy bunny ears standing tall before falling to either side of your face. Izuku walks into your room going completely unnoticed, he spoke and sat down your cup of water but his words falling into deaf ears.

"y/n...?"

His voice nothing above a whisper, sitting beside you while patting your head lightly. People always shipped you two due to the way he treated you, don't get me wrong hes nice to everyone regardless of who they are or where they come from. People just liked to do stupid shit in their free time so you never really took it to heart, mostly because izuku always avoided and shut down all questions that surfaced about you two during interviews. Saying he only saw you as a friend.

You turn to him slowly your sad eyes staring up at him. He sighs while giving you a sad look back, putting your foreheads together. He hadn't left your side at all besides when he and to work, but he made sure to come right back to your apartment to assure that you were alright. It's not like you were sick or anything because you weren't. You could walk, talk, shower, cook, and do everything just fine, but he insisted you do nothing he felt far too guilty to even allow you to lift a finger. He once apologized for you telling him you thought about cooking on your own.

He whispers an "I'm sorry" while your heads are together, you simply chuckle and try to smile. Your quirk had been disabled due to being transformed. There's always a loophole in quirks so why hasn't anyone found one for sphinx's quirk? It was weighing on you far too heavily for either of your liking. Izukus heart ached for you to get better, he hated seeing you like this, all sad and unable to do anything for yourself. You can but for some odd reason he thinks you can't do you just let him take care of you.

Izuku pulls away, putting his fingers in your hair and scratching your scalp, the soothing motion making you sigh and lay your head on his shoulder. He hums with a smile that didn't meet his eyes, he grabs the remote from you and puts on a movie, grabbing your cup of water to ensure that you are hydrated.

You both had fallen asleep on each other, his head on top of yours while you laid on his shoulder. You got up and stretched making him get more comfortable and turn his head to lay on a pillow beside him. You looked at him closely, admiring each and every freckle that littered his cheeks and slightly down his neck his chest moving up and down in a smooth rhythm. He looked so peaceful not having to worry and feel guilty for your current state. Your body moved on it's own, one of your hands moving to his chest rubbing up and down his body. He was very toned, you knew this you could practically see it through his new skin tight suit. It hugged his body deliciously.

You couldn't take your eyes off of him, his shirt was slightly raised and scrunched up ending just above his v line, the way it looked like it was sculpted by gods. He looked like a Greek god himself. His body was fucking hot.

Your tail wiggled and twitched against the bed light noise coming from the way it moved. You bit your lip lightly while looking down where his shorts hugged his waist. Your eyes kept trailing down his figure landing on where a tent in his shorts sat. He was completely flaccid yet his thick cock made a very visible print. Fuck this was really turning you on, he was completely unconscious and unaware of how you were fucking him with your eyes. Your hand moved down to his dick print and gently rubbed over it making him take a deep breath and breathe out slowly, you noticed this and continued your movements while staring at his face, a pink hue forming onto his baby-like cheeks.

You watched as he gulped and turned his head in your direction with a breathy and quick sigh, he was getting bothered by how you teased his semi erect cock. His brows slightly furrowed while you stopped your hands movements completely, his cock twitched against your hand making your eyes shoot down to his cock, seeing it fully erect and leaking slightly against his thin shorts. God this was such a sight, it was so fucking hot and lewd, you felt guilty for getting him all hot and bothered but seeing the way his cock twitched and bobbed up and down for your touch was hypnotizing.

Without thinking you hopped onto his lap you weight sitting on top of him making him shift under you, that was almost enough to snap you out of whatever trance he put you in but the way he put his hands on your thighs and rubbed them out you right back into the daze you never got out of.

Your tail wiggled against his thigh as you slowly grind into him, rubbing your clothes pussy against his clothed cock in a slow yet rough manner. a moan accidentally slipped out of your mouth when his cock rubbed against your clit in the best way.

You panted lightly as the grind of your hips started to quicken in pace, you dug your hips down into his to feel his cock press against you. A noise left his throat as he gripped your waist tightly, his grasp bruising your skin while pushing you down more into him. You didn't think about the fact that he might've woken up due to your moans and the way you moved helplessly on top of him. He rubbed his cock up into you to feel that light friction that had him dizzy.

You grabbed onto his shoulders and rode him like you were actually riding his cock. The thought alone of actually getting to ride his cock getting you to that building release. He moaned deeply before his eyes slightly opened and peered up at you, you were too busy in your own haze to acknowledge the way he looked at you, your fucked out face contorting in such a pretty way.

He couldn't believe you were using him while he was asleep, riding his clothed cock for all that it's worth. He bit his lip and flipped the both of you, a scream ripping right out of you as you look up at him with wide scared eyes. He could only look down at you with lust filled ones. His emerald orbs looking at every feature that painted your body, the way your thighs looked more plump because of your shorts. Your boobs spilling out the top of your tank top. You looked so good and the way you looked at him with those scree and glossy eyes went straight to his aching cock. He was so ready to split you in half on his thick cock, he knew you'd have a struggle but it'd be worth it just to be inside of you. He'd wait as long as he'd have to just to feel your pussy squeeze around his cock.

No words were said as he went in to kiss you, lightly pressing his dry but soft lips against yours. A moan left you as your tail wiggled underneath you, you were so horny and you could feel the way it ate you alive from the inside out, you were so close to crying from how much it burned inside of you.

"please.. please fuck me, I need it."

You whispered up to him with a raspy voice, whining as your eyes moved down to his cock, it looked like it was going to burst out of his shorts with the way it stood up proudly.

He smirked at you with lidded eyes while he kissed you neck, you closed your eyes and fell into the soft kisses being planted on your sensitive neck, he moved his kisses up to your bunny ears blowing on them lighting, the soft feeling of it all making your pussy throb and a whimper leave you lips.

He chuckled lowly to himself as he flipped you over into your stomach. He pressed his chest and his hard cock against your ass cheek as he whispered in your ear.

"using me while I sleep? naughty thing. poor bunny, must need it badly, hm?"

You nodded your head aggressively while rubbing your ass against his hard on, earning a low groan from the muscular man above you.his weight on you felt so good and it wasn't even sexual at all.

He slipped your shorts and underwear down in one swift move, he pulled his own down as he teased your dripping hole, slipping his engorged cock head in and out of your lips. Your eyes roll as you lift your ass in the air and wiggle against his cock. he's surprised by this, a chuckle leaving him while he pulls you back by your ears, a squeak leaving you while he slaps your ass.

"you're so fucking needy huh? this sopping wet cunny of yours dripping around my cock, hm?"

You nod again, not being able to speak due to your throat getting rather dry. He hums and slips his cock in halfway before taking it out quickly, this went on for about 5 minutes, the torture was so funny to him yet painful for you. You felt as if you were going to die, the heat forming inside of you burned badly. You needed release, finally being def up with his teasing, the second he tried to do it again you slammed your ass back onto him taking his cock fully, a choked moan leaving his pink lips.

He groaned loudly while lying his head on your shoulder with a smile, he was out of breath from you taking his cock fully. He chuckled against your skin while kissing it, he bit harshly on the skin of your shoulder making you scream while he thrusted vigorously into your soaked pussy, the squelching noises clouding his mind while he moaned into your ear and grabbed onto your bunny ears. The sensitive muscle being pulled painfully hard went straight to your throbbing cunt, the way he slammed his hips into you and hit that spot repeatedly was just enough to make you cum, but he knew you were going to by the way you started squeezing his cock for all he was worth, milking him and slicking his cock up with your fluid.

“A-Agh fuck don’t stop- don’t fuckin stop.”

You command him while throwing your ass back, you were feeling too good you felt as if you weren't even in control, the way your body moved lewdly against him was inhumane and unlike you. You'd never felt the need to be near someone like this, like you yearned for his very touch, for him to cum inside of you. Oh. God that sounded so good, the thought of his warm thick cum spilling and spreading inside of you made you squeeze around his cock even more.

Just when you felt as if you were going to cum you felt the need leave. He had pulled out of your cunt with a groan, his cock twitched from the cold ajr hitting the leaky tip. He looked down at your pussy squeezing around nothing, god you were so fucking needy and that made him go feral. He could practically smell the delicious scent you released. Your tail twitched fastly, catching his attention. He had asked you before questions about your body and if anything felt different, he hadn't asked about your tails however, he was curious if it was sensitive. Out of pure curiosity he pushed his thick cock back inside of you, and yanked at your tails, his tight grip on your ears never leaving.

He used them to bring you back more into him. You let out a high pitched moan as your arms gave out, your body felt like it was on fire, throwing your ass back against him while your thighs burned from the work.

“fu— m'cum— cumming!!“

You couldn't control it, it just ripped out of you. The feeling was far too strong to hold back or even pretend not to acknowledge you groaned while sobbing, tears falling from your face due to the extra stimulation. He cooed in your ear, coaxing you through your orgasm while never letting you in the way he fiddled with your tail, his other hand leaving your floppy ears to go to your clit, rubbing it slowly while speeding up his hips.

"nngh~ izu— Izu-"

You couldn't speak from the immense pleasure, it began to hurt due to overstimulation. You sobbed and hiccupped against the pillows as he drilled his cock into you, he groaned and grunted behind you moans leaving his lips as well.

"shit...- fuck— god dammit, u/n I'm gonna cu- cum again.. shit take it, fucking take it all.."

Again?! He'd already came?? Maybe that's why you thought about his warm cum spreading and claiming every spot inside of you. Because he already did.

You couldn't move or even speak, the way he bucked his hips into yours, stuttering and rhythm becoming uneven. He threw his head back with a moan as he came again, tears welling at the corner of his eyes. He felt so good, your fluttering walks squeezing and convulsing around his soft turning cock.

He collapsed beside you without a word. His eyes closed as he tried to steady his breaths, he hasn't felt this good in so long, it's been a while since he'd last been with anyone. He took pride in his job, he'd wanted to be a hero since he was a kid, however it did take him away from a lot of things, including interacting with people and making new friends.

He needed this and he's glad you gave It to him. He turned to check on you to see you had already passed out, he rubbed your back lightly making you shiver underneath his touch. He got up to assure you were alright, making sure you water was refilled and that you could be clean, he grabbed a warm damp towel to clean you but before he did he got a good look at the two loads that were fucked into you, slowly oozing from your still convulsing lips. Fuck this was a sight to see, he was afraid he'd never get to see it again. He hates what he did but, he had to save this moment forever! A picture to remember this morning by! After all, you won't be a bunny forever.

AN: this was very fun to write actually, I've recently been in a chokehold w top!izuku there's something ab him being mean or js taking care of me that gets to me.

Dividers by @anitalenia

[lovedrruunk]

What TikToks I think overwatch characters would post pt 2! (>ᴗ•) !

Part 1 !

Rein, don’t know if u guys know that liver king guy but he’s literally just rein if he took steroids. Posts tons of like gym core/culture videos yk BUT HES ONE OF THE GOOD ONES!!! Ppl in the community love him bc of how positive he is even though he’d give rlly bad advice “EATING THIS RAW TESTICLE INCREASED MY TESTOSTERONE LEVELS BY 9%!!!!”

D.va, this can go 2 ways. #1 in all her Korean celebrity realness posts vids doing trendy dances while using crazy whitening filters and doing aegyo. #2 goes by a fake name and trolls the fuck out of people. D.va being a hater is such a strong head canon of mine like I love her being a toxic bitch like yes slay or whatever so relatable! Replies to streamers she secretly hates like “Wow your mom’s basement looks so clean!” “My left toe can get better plays.” “Bet even your keyboard hates being touched by you.” basically meowbah or wtv her name was but less weird more cunty

Ana, she replies to reins TikTok’s telling his followers NOT to do anything he says, but other than that I can see her posting cooking vids (as every Arab mom does) but she’ll be talking sweetly in English and then suddenly start cussing something out in Arabic and it’ll be so off topic and it’s rlly funny “and then you add 1 cup of flour! ‘I told my lazyass lgbtqia daughter to pick up some earlier but of fucking course she chose to disappoint me again. Ever since the day I birthed her she has been disappointing me over and over again.’ A pinch of salt!”

Hanzo, DEPRESSION CORE SLIDESHOWS LMAOOO some “when the nice guy loses his patience… the devil shivers.” ass shit, bio is probs something stupid like “family betray, women cheat, Hennessy cures.”

Ashe, CONTROVERSIAL QUEEN !!! People forget she’s southern like please you cannot tell me she doesn’t have some crazyass takes. Will post borderline ragebait in like her car or something. “My gun identifies as a PLUNGER. Beat that Biden.” “BIDEN CANT TAKE MY GUNS, I KEEP THEM UPSTAIRS!!!” “Bidens oldass will probably find a way to outlive my OMNIC butler.” She’ll say all this stupid shit with a straight face and I just think that’s so funny. On rare occasions she’ll actually have a rlly good progressive take and ppl will be like okay hold up let her cook…

Tracer, kinda like junkrat where she's only famous cuz ppl lowk make fun of her and she hasn't caught on yet... I LOVEEEE Tracer she's my fav character but CMONNNN "Cheers love!" SHES NOT SURVIVING TIKTOK!!! ppl in the comments will be mocking her accent and she'll just think they're british too... ppl make fun of her NOT cuz they hate her but because she's just ummm eccentric that's the world plus she's british so that's rlly the only reason why ppl make fun of her like not in a mean way but just for funsies yk...

Pharah, being arab and being a lesbian I am 100% qualified to say this but she's such a fucking lesbo ykwim like 'hey mamas' type, she's also really whitewashed like thinks shes a white stud or something. Ellie Williams wannabe makes thirst traps in stained white wife beaters and expects every lesbian in a 100 mile radius to want her (they dont). Thinks playing basketball makes her the shit and she's just rlly desperate and lame. horny on main. Ana found one of her thirst traps once and it led to a really awkward convo

Kiriko, she's only there to post cute videos of her adventures with her gang and fox like shes just there to have a good time ykwim. And she's like popular bc all her fans r girls and her vlogs and stuff r just so nice to watch plus she's funny and rlly cool!

Baptiste, the anti-andrew tate. Hes so attractive and like confident that people can't help but like him ykwim like he makes little straight boys piss their pants with his bazillion level aura. He'll just post a random vid in his car maybe eating chipotle or something and he'll have men and women alike confessing their love for him in the comments. Lesbians love him.

Any character I haven't mentioned i just can't see posting or having tiktok!

[nanabansama]

Be Worried for Mitsuba

I've seen a frankly concerning number of people say they expect Mitsuba to be fine after what happened in Chapter 110, and as someone who isn't fully confident he will survive yet, it bothers me a bit! As such, I wanted to bring up a list of reasons why I think Mitsuba could be in danger, and why people might be in for a rude awakening depending on how things shape out.

First, I wanted to bring up something that I don't think a lot of people know about. It's the official tag line for Volume 20.

This is from the Square-Enix website. It says: 「最初でさいごの夜遊び。」

This translates as "Their first and last Night Out."

I don't know about you guys, but this gets my warning bells ringing. It's obviously talking about Kou and Mitsuba's date at the aquarium. So if that was their first and also last one, then...that doesn't sound very reassuring, does it?

Now, a popular theory I've seen going around is that Mitsuba will turn Kou into his yorishiro. And while I think this is a delightful idea, I don't think it will happen.

While yorishiro can take human form, the two cases we've seen (Sumire and Tsukasa) were dead by the time it happened. We don't know if it's possible for it to happen to someone who is still alive!

I also want to direct your attention to the first Clock Keepers arc, when Kou got aged up to around Teru's age.

If you remember, Nene, unlike Kou, was unable to be aged up by Mirai because she had no lifespan left. This basically confirms that Kou will survive until he's in high school, less his fate is changed.

Note that he has no visible yorishiro seal, too.

Now...it's not like he still can't become one! But how likely is it, really? Do we even know if a yorishiro can age? And do we know if someone can stop being a yorishiro? We haven't found a way to get rid of a yorishiro outside of destroying it yet. Tell me, how cheap would it be for Kou to become Mitsuba's yorishiro while facing zero of the consequences?

Honestly, I feel the whole concept of a yorishiro cop-out is a bit cheap, anyway...not that I want Mitsuba to die, but it feels cheesy for him to overcome this by just realizing how important Kou is to him, doesn't it? Couldn't we have done that in the Aquarium arc instead of having this pointless, drawn-out segue?

It seems that for all Mitsuba has done, it just hasn't been enough, tragic as it is. I do believe Mitsuba has found something important to him, or is at least starting to...but it's all too little, too late.

Anyway, has anyone thought about a way for Mitsuba to get out of this situation besides getting a yorishiro? It's worth mentioning that Natsuhiko implied only a school mystery with a yorishiro could survive contact with his cursed blood, but I can't help wondering if there's another option.

Mitsuba's body has a unique constitution, after all. He's a Frankenstein amalgamation of several different weak supernaturals given an identity by the sense of reason taken from the previous Mitsuba.

He falls apart if he doesn't eat. When this happens, he can restore himself by eating supernaturals. He also craves human flesh, which also might be able to heal him, but that obviously hasn't been tested yet.

So here's my question: Could Mitsuba eat enough supernaturals or humans to cure his body of the cursed blood? Would he...try to? It's not like there aren't plenty around him right now...

And then what happens? Even if he only ate the plantlike supernaturals, those were humans. They could've been saved, as proven by when Teru defeated one and restored her back to her human form in Chapter 104. If he hurt any of them, then what would that mean for Mitsuba? And how would Kou react? Just something to think about...

Changing subjects, I think the fact that the original Mitsuba Sousuke's mother is present is interesting, too. I feel like she's incredibly important to the events happening to Mitsuba right now--she's here for a reason, that's for sure. Whether that's anything that'll change his fate or not is another thing.

And just to be clear, while his concern for the previous Mitsuba Sousuke's mother is pretty cute, I don't think it's enough to create a yorishiro out of. Heck, even if he was the first Mitsuba, I don't think his bond with his mother was strong enough to manifest as a yorishiro. (No shade, of course.)

I did point out in my Chapter 110 Spoilers post that she could just be here to watch her son die again, which is an idea I still kind of like. It's a bit poetic, no? Or maybe she will somehow be able to meet him one last time and get closure. I can't say for sure, but I feel like ignoring Mitsuba's mom in this discussion at all is a dangerous pitfall...

In any case, I hope this convinced some of you to start worrying for Mitsuba's life.

Huh? Which Mitsuba, you ask?

Who knows...

[queeniecook]

June 19

Sometimes there's only so much pipe organ music a being can take.

James had just returned from his second walk around Forgotten Hollow for the day, the sound of the Count's haunting music was driving him insane. So far he had kept his mouth shut, rare for him, for some reason. He wasn't sure why. Maybe he's mind has been elsewhere. He's not making as much progress as he'd like in his quest to cure vampirism. It's aggravating him and Asa both, for different reasons. Liberty had finally indulged him in a martial romp, that increased his mood quite a bit, but nothing could make the constant sulking music better except for it to cease.

Count Straud sits in his normal place, at this favorite pipe organ. He likes the one in the basement too but this one is his favorite, he's had it since he moved into the estate and has it had maintained well over the countless years. Every since that vixen Lilith Vatore had found a way to ban him from her grounds, he's been in a dark mood. Darker than usual. He doesn't like being denied anything, especially something his undead heart actually desires. He hasn't seen her since that night, she's oddly been keeping to her home or visiting who knows who.

"May I have a word, Count Straud?" James beckons, actually using his manners. Vladislaus almost misses a key at the sudden request and cringes.

"Since you asked politely, very well." the ancient vampire responds, slowly rising from his seat after he finishes his song. He follows the warlock downstairs.

"What's eating you, Vlad?" James questions, not that he cares really but if it stops the music for a while, that would be a delight. 

"You people have such strange lingo sometimes..." Vladislaus grumples, nothing could "eat him" but after thought he figures out what James is actually asking him. "None of your business, warlock."

James smirks "Look, you have no friends. No one to talk to. I'm actually offering an captive ear to you, so you might as well just spill it."

"I rather spill your blood all over my rug instead." The Count bites back. 

James actually has a good chuckle at this, which annoys the vampire. "We both know magical blood is too tempting to just spill."

Vladislaus almost huffs at James laughing but keeps his composure in tact. "I'm not telling you anything."

James watches the vampire seated by him and then it hits him, he smirks again. "The spell on the Vatore estate is bugging you, Lilith has blocked you from her home and from getting into her pants." this earns him a glare from Vlad, which James enjoys. 

"How do you know about the spell?" The count asks, still glaring at the warlock. 

"I happened to catch it being cast." James replies, not naming Dakota though it's a bit obvious who did the spell. 

Vladislaus almost grinds his teeth together in anger. A little warning would have been nice but then again, why would James warn him? That would be odd.

Straud is tired of talking about himself, so he flips the conversation to James instead.

"Shouldn't you be off trying to steal the Vatore spawn or something?" He asks James, he sees a flicker of annoyance go across the warlocks face which makes Vladislaus feel accomplished. 

"Firstly, you can't steal something that hasn't been born yet and secondly, why does everyone thinks I'm going to do something to this kid?" James asks, rubbing his head in boredom more than annoyance now.

"Maybe because you hate Caleb and enjoy poking and prodding him when you get the chance?" the vampire supplies as an answer. 

"Fair point. I admit, I've enjoyed watching them get their little guard dogs in a row and get all ready to battle me if I try something." James says, running his fingers through his silky hair. 

Vladislaus nods, he knows if it were him, he'd enjoy it as well but something inside him wants to know if James is going to try something merely so he can warn Lilith. It's her nephew or niece they are talking about.

"They can have their little crying brat. My goal has been accomplished without really even doing anything." James comments before rising to leave. He's done with this conversation. 

[chemicalcarousel]

just finished watching that 2 hr colin ross lecture about DID and it was so good. i had no idea schizophrenia used to encompass DID when it was coined, but it makes so much sense with the name "split mind" and why people mix them up all the time and also why we were suspected to be psychotic at first. it's just scary that modern psychiatrists still can't tell the difference. we really recognised the struggle of "not fitting in any diagnostic box" (what multiple doctors have told us) because our symptoms seem kinda psychotic at first glance if you don't know much about traumatology

it's really wild hearing someone describe a patient with DID and relating so much to it, when you're used to being told by doctors in your life that you're such a weird case and maybe you have thing unique disorder that hasn't been described in literature yet. it's scary because DID is so common compared to what doctors suspect. i have very clear symptoms of being traumatised, i openly tell them i have complex childhood trauma, yet they think i can't have a trauma disorder or at most they might say bpd. i'm so obviously fragmented!! there's a reason i was all over the place symptom-wise when i was hospitalised for depression!!! some days i seemed not depressed and other days i almost killed myself because i'm dissociative!! like i didn't know back then either, but doctors should have noticed. they should have screened me for dissociative symptoms!!! they should do that with all patients, especially when they are fucking hospitalised!!!

i have switched to child alters in front of my psychologist before and she just wanted to see me "do that voice again" while i was so fucking scared because i didn't know what was going on. i know she probably said it to see if it was voluntary that i could change my voice, but it felt so humiliating and like i was a circus freak the way she asked. like she already knew it wasn't voluntary and it was a response to being triggered in therapy because we talked about my childhood trauma!!! she'd said she knew it was an automatic reaction i had to being triggered, still she said i didn't have "real flashbacks" so i didn't have ptsd and it was all just bipolar, which it turns out i don't even have!!!! lol she ended up giving up on me and passing me on to some other therapist, but man... she made me almost kms so many times lol i know she didn't mean to, but she was so fucking bad at her job imho

it was so fucking funny to have entered the clinic in 2018 with my own personal suspicious being that i have cptsd, then getting told no i don't until late 2023 where my 2nd therapist asks me if i know about cptsd and that i seem to have it BITCH I KNOW LMFAO I'VE KNOWN FOR YEARS BUT YALL GASLIGHTED ME INTO THINKING I COULDN'T HAVE IT AND TOLD ME I WAS PSYCHOTIC AND NEEDED ANTIPSYCHOTICS, ANTIDEPRESSANTS AND MOOD STABILIZERS AND DIDN'T LISTEN WHEN NONE OF IT WORKED!!!!!

man.... and now im waiting like 69 weeks for my next psychiatrist bc i gave up on that shit clinic, who didn't want to transfer me to their trauma department because i didn't have war or service related trauma..... even though i found out they also treat other cases than that............ this system is a fucking joke. also the 69 weeks is not for a specialist, this was just the quickest i can see a psychiatrist without trying to kms and being involuntarily hospitalised. i'm just gonna see some normal psychiatrist and idk if she even believes in DID bc i didn't get to talk with her, only her secretary. so maybe when that year and three months have passed i find out she only knows how to diagnose anxiety and depression <333 or maybe she's homophobic or transphobic, bc that's something i've also experienced! <3333333

man.... i was brutally abused by my family and neglected by the system since before i was born and now im just.... stuck here with an illness there's a cure for, but with no access to it!!!! and it's not like i haven't tried getting help - i've been in and out of psych treatment from age 14-27!!! i've read up on shit myself bc here doctors just say "idk take this pill and stfu, hysteric woman" like i've been misdiagnosed so many times now.... at least im almost off all of my psych meds now! like they are good for some, but i was literally just fed pills for shit i didn't have and when i wasn't feeling better, they just upped the dose and told me i'd be more unstable without it when this doctor had never seen me without it and i've been on it for like a decade, still super unstable <3

long rant/vent lol but idk man it's just nice getting some of this out of my system

[lakemichigans]

tlou episode 9 thoughts!!

- I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I'M SO HAPPYYYY this has always been my favorite theory for why ellie is immune and it also means that, however unlikely, there actually could be other immune people out there. it wouldn't benefit the narrative to meet any other immune people yet, but in the future...? like a third game...?

- baby ellie just popped right out huh fksjfkd i guess the quickest way to speed up labor is to kill a zombie

- hearing ashley johnson's voice, especially hearing her use her sweet baby voice brought me to tears immediately

- joel seems a lot more aware & understanding of why ellie is so checked out, but still tries to cheer her up. in the game he's well-meaning but pretty much clueless. i like this change!!

- the giraffe scene was perfect, 10/10, no notes

- "i'll follow you wherever you go" 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- i'm a fucking mess because of that conversation by the medical tents, that was an incredible moment to add and i wasn't expecting it at all. the look on ellie's face when she realizes that it's her, she's the one that "healed all wounds"

- no sarah photograph? :(

- "we didn't tell her, we didn't cause her any fear" FUCK! that's the problem!!! the problem is that ellie would die for the cure if you gave her the option, but you were too chicken shit to tell her the truth! everyone in this room has their own (selfish) motivations and no one is thinking about ellie, not really, not even joel. IT MAKES ME CRAZY AHHHHH YOU'RE ALL COWARDS

- the hospital shootout was everything i wanted and so much more. joel found his reason to live and god help him, he'll fight for it -- no matter how many lives he needs to take to get there. it was so intense and the music was beautiful and it was just gory enough to make you feel the weight of the brutality without feeling like it's a cheesy slasher. also loved how many times joel reloading or switched guns. and his dead eyes throughout the whole scene are haunting

- wow, killing jerry happened so damn fast!! in the game, you can stand in front of him forever and he'll just keep pointing his knife at you (and in the remake he pleads with joel, "this is our future, think of all the lives she'll save.") but i love the decision to shoot him in the blink of an eye. joel is beyond caring about anything other than ELLIE ELLIE ELLIE. i do like that he doesn't kill the nurses though, because it's a purely practical mission: save ellie. everyone else is just in the way.

- no abby sighting? :( i really thought there would be one :(

- i'm a little bummed that the themes were spelled out so specifically by marlene and joel's last conversation, but eh, whatever. TV audiences tend to need things spelled out clearer lol. i'm a little surprised they took out the line "how long until she's torn apart by a pack of clickers? that is, if she hasn't been raped and murdered first". considering what happened last episode, i felt that line would ring more true than ever. kinda underwhelmed by this confrontation tbh, which is sad because it's so pivotal

- ohhhh god he expanded upon the lie 😭 that hurt so much worse. i'm devastated for ellie

- joel talking about sarah felt more painful than i previously thought possible. also adorable how he doesn't want to offend ellie by calling her "not girly" ajfjsjfksj

- maybe i'm just blinded by my love for the game, but i don't like any of the dialogue they changed in the final scene. joel's original speech is SO poignant and perfect but i didn't get the same emotion from this one. and there was no glance at his watch :( i would've preferred keeping riley's fate vague (we already knew anyway), because "i'm still waiting for my turn" is so much more emotional to me. ugh. i'm a little peeved they changed so much about this scene that has long been considered as close to perfect as possible :(

- i don't want to end on a bad note so let me just say that the entire experience of watching this show has been incredible beyond words. seeing a game i love so much be treated with care and passion, opening up a whole new world for people who never would have known about it before this... it's just amazing. i'm so grateful that this show exists and feels like a love letter to the fans rather than a cash grab. it's so damn beautiful

[final-girl96]

Firefly Chapter Fifteen

Summer 2023

"Are you fucking crazy?" I asked, Marlene. She had just shown me the arm of a girl, she was bitten on her right arm. "She hasn't turned yet. I think she might be immune." I let out a sarcastic laugh, "nobody is immune." She pointed to the door that the girl was behind. "She is. It's been almost a week since I found her."

"You've had her for that long?! You really are fucking crazy!" I ran my hand down my face. "Is there a reason you're telling me this? I'm not a firefly. How do you know I'm not going to run to FEDRA about this?" I asked. "Because, you hate them just as much as we do." She wasn't wrong there. "I just need you to watch her for me. Have her do the test to make sure she's not going to turn, give her meals. That's what I want you to do."

"Why me?" I asked. "Because, I trusted Tommy and Tommy trusted so I trust you. I've also seen you with other kids. If she doesn't turn in the next couple weeks I plan to take her out west. They're working on a cure. Don't roll your eyes at me. She could save humanity."

"Humanity." I laughed and shook my head. "Humanity was already fucked before Cordyceps, Marlene. I'll watch her. Take care of her. But if I see one twitch…I swear to god I will not hesitate to shoot her." She handed me the keys to the room she was in, "thank you. I'm going out to help start gathering supplies and making sure things are on track." She left after that.

I grabbed my bag and some food and went to the door where the girl was behind and unlocked the door. My hand was on my gun as I slowly opened the door. Knowing my luck she turned and I'll get attacked. I walked in and there sat a girl with shoulder length brown hair, handcuffed to a pipe. She looked up at me and scowled. "Who the fuck are you?" I raised my eyebrows. "I'm someone you don't want to fucking piss off."

"I brought you something to eat. And we need to do that test bullshit. So stand up, arms out, and count to ten." She didn't budge at first and I sighed, closing my eyes, and pinching the bridge of my nose. "Move it! Now!" She jiggled the handcuffs and I sighed. "If you even try to attack me I will shoot you!" I told her. "Okay, jeez." I walked over to her, uncuffed her and stepped back. "Arms out, palms face down, and count to ten…slowly." She stood up and did as I told her, arms out, palms up and started counting.

"One…

"Two…

"Three…

"Four…

"Five…

She stopped and I gestured for her to keep going. "Don't stop." She rolled her eyes at me and continued counting.

"Six…

"Seven…

"Eight…

"Nine…

"Ten…see not turning into a fucking monster," she sassed. "That mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble." I grabbed the sandwich and water from the table by the door and walked over, handing it to her. "Thanks," she mumbled, taking it from me. "Is this chicken?" She asked. I hummed and watched her take a bite. I went back to the table and leaned back on it. "What's your name?" I asked. She looked up at me, "what do you care?" She asked.

I crossed my arms over my chest, squinting my eyes at her. I licked my bottom lip and clicked my tongue. "I don't. But seeing as I'm the one who's going to be feeding you and making sure you don't do anything stupid or fucking turn…I think I deserve to know." I raised my brows at her and waited. "You first," she said. I rolled my eyes, "Jesus fucking Christ. Fine…I'm yn. Now, it's your turn."

"Ellie," she said. I nodded my head and looked around the room. "How'd you get bit, Ellie?" I asked. "None of your damn business that's how." Oh I really wanted to slap this little girl. I walked over to her and knelt down in front of her. "Look, Ellie, I get it, okay? I'm just another adult who is telling you what to do. But if you keep smart mouthing me I will fucking slap the absolute fuck out of you. I don't give a shit that you're a kid."

"Why should I trust you? You're just another firefly asshole." I laughed and shook my head. "Not a firefly," I told her. She gave me a skeptical look and I shrugged. "Let me see your arm," I said. I stood up and went over where I dropped my bag and brought it back over to her. "Why?" She asked, holding it close to her chest. "Let me fucking see it." I started pulling out a first aid kit and she lowered her arm, rolling her sleeve up. I sucked in a deep breath when I looked at it. "How'd it happen?" I asked again.

"I was in the mall." I looked up from her arm to her face. "That place is crawling with the infected!" She shook her head, "I thought it was clear." I cleaned her arm and wrapped it. "What were you doing in there anyway?" She didn't answer me and I had a feeling she didn't want to talk about it so I let it go. "Finish eating." I started to put my stuff away and stood up. "So why are you with the fireflies if you're not one?" Ellie asked, taking another bite of her sandwich.

"A friend of mine used to be one and when I needed a place to stay he talked to Marlene. I made an agreement with her that I'd help smuggle things for her if she gave me a place to stay. I told her there was no way in hell I'd join her little anti-militia bullshit. Don't get me wrong though because I hate FEDRA just as much."

Two Week Later

"Okay, sunshine, time to do your little bullshit test," I said, walking into the room. Ellie rolled her eyes and stood up, arms out, palms down and counted to ten. "This is such shit! I haven't turned yet so I doubt I fucking will!" I turned to look at the two fireflies behind me. "You can fuck off now, thanks." I shoved them out the door and shut it.

"This is so stupid! It's been three weeks!" I walked over to her and sat down beside her. "I know. They're getting ready to smuggle you across the country." I pulled my bag in front of me and pulled out two sandwiches. I handed one to Ellie and she took it but then reached towards me, grabbing my necklace. "What kind of bug is that?" She asked. I looked down at the necklace, the one he gave me all those years ago.

"So… funny story… My nickname is firefly," I said. "Shut the fuck up! No it's not." I nodded my head, "yup. My Nonna gave it to me when I was little. My parents died in a car accident when I was five. She and my grandfather got custody of me. She said I used to love going outside during the summer and chasing after them. She'd help me catch them in a jar, we let them go of course, and then after my grandfather passed away I became her firefly. Meaning that I was the little flashing light in her darkness."

"Did she give you this?" She asked. I shook my head. "No, someone else did…someone I haven't seen in a very long time," I told her. "This is moonstone. So, when the light hits it just right it makes it look like it's glowing." I tucked it back under my shirt and cleared my throat. I never took the necklace off after me and…it's not that I didn't love him because I do. "How old were you when Cordyceps happened?"

"Nineteen. I was in college, avoiding some guy who couldn't take a hint."

Spending time with Sarah.

"What about your Nonna? Did she come to Boston with you?" Ellie asked. I shook my head, "No. She and a few of her friends went to Atlantic City that morning. I only got out because of my neighbor and his brother." I stood up when I heard gun fire. "Stay here!" I told Ellie and ran out the door, gun in hand.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Hi. I found interesting site: Teases 'Six of Crows' Spin-Off and Season 3 Villain.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.newsweek.com/shadow-bone-six-crows-spin-off-season-3-villain-plans-eric-heisserer-1787601%3Famp%3D1&ved=2ahUKEwju8fDI8-r9AhVIhP0HHUh2DgoQtwJ6BAgJEAE&usg=AOvVaw2hnxBMmgP-arXDlTZvkqFI

(Book Spoilers)

This was an interesting read. There's some parts in particular that caught my attention. Eric talks about the potential of getting a six of crows spin off and I really do think his reasons for wanting a spin off are good ones.

"If we're able to get our way, because there are a lot of mouths to feed, the best course of action is to allow us to do Six of Crows as a standalone season and really spend time with those characters," Heisserer said. "And then Season 3 of the mothership allows us to spend a good amount of time with all of our Ravkan contingent."

One thing I do think the show has struggled with is fitting both the crows and the ravkan storylines into 8 episode long seasons. Don't get me wrong I have enjoyed both seasons so far and I like seeing these characters cross over and interact with each other. But I think now that they've established these characters and introduced them to show only watchers splitting it into two shows where they can focus more time on the two sets of characters would be a good move. Especially as we can still have cross overs so the characters can still interact with each other.

"But then it moves forward from there, and the fun will be knowing when those characters can cross-pollinate again, and when we can sort of Avengers Assemble everybody against a common, major enemy."

"The Thanos of the Grishaverse is a much-held secret that we've been excited to get to, if we ever get a chance," Heisserer said, adding that the villain they have chosen will be one that fans of the books are familiar with but he would not elaborate further.

Ok this part really really has me intrigued. Who could this 'Thanos of the Grishaverse' be? It sounds like it is someone that book readers in particular would know. Which makes me wonder if it is someone who hasn't appeared in the show yet. I mean if I made a list of potential thanos level villains then maybe Alina if they go dark with her but that seems too obvious, Aleks also seems way too obvious.

It could be a character from the Six of Crows duology or the King of Scars duology as I haven't read either, so I am not sure if anyone there could play the part of a really powerful villain. I did hear about a Saint Elizaveta, who has a connection with bees and there is a moment in the finale, when they are burning Aleks' body and Nikolai is giving a speech about a firebird rising and rebirth, where a bee lands on Zoya which I think is hundred percent a nod to Elizaveta and how she plots to bring the darkling back. But as for her being this thanos of the grishaverse I am not completely sold as from what I understand she gets killed off pretty quick in the duology, think she's only in one of the books, so I don't see her being a major enemy like Eric is talking about here.

One intriguing possibility is Ilya Morozova. Although he doesn't appear in any of the books he is mentioned alot and the show was dropping some pretty big hints that he is still alive, Baghra said that even after he was thrown in the river more of his writings on Merzost kept popping up. We also know that he too, like Aleks this season, was infected with Merzost which is why Aleks hoped a cure might be found in his journal. Which makes me wonder if maybe Ilya did find a cure. Can you imagine Ilya Morozova rocking up with the power to control Merzost without the effects of the poisoning that comes along with it? He could make a pretty formidable foe. He could definitely bring some more morozova madness to the show.

[the-missann]

I just really don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff, so I figured to share it here and just get it out there 😅

Long post inbound

Original Ideas

1. The Dark Moon

I wrote around three chapters for this already, but nothing more.

Following an aristocrat in the gothic era named Vusha, he is searching for someone who can cure an ailment of his. He goes through several wives, all of who do not resolve his issue. Yet, on his most recent courting, this woman seems to know everything about his ailment and even scoffs in the face of the danger it may bring her.

Excerpt:

"Who are you?" Vusha yelled while holding Cassie in his arms.

Her limp body fell against his and Vusha only hoped she was still alive. His grip on her limp body only got tighter as he hoped she would awaken soon.

The figure in front of him didn't appear as any man Vusha ever saw. His skin was pale and the unkempt bang of hair rested right over his eye hiding most his face, but Vusha couldn't shake the animalistic feeling he had. Almost as if the person in front of him were like himself.

"Cassie... what's she gotten herself into this time?"

"Who are you!" Vusha repeated his earlier question, this time with a more stern voice.

The pale figure looked at him. "I'm Curil and I need to see her."

Vusha's grip on her only tightened and he pushed further away from Curil, desperately keeping Cassie away from him.

"Why would I relinquish her to someone who hasn't explained their purpose here?"

"I'm not taking her." Curil began calmly. "I need to be sure she's not dead as it is not her time yet."

Vusha's brows furrowed. "What?"

"With your affliction--as well as what you know to be true in your reality--I trust you'll believe me when I say I am a Grim Reaper."

Examining his features, Vusha couldn't help but feel this was the truth. Unlike the images of skeletal figures in dark robes, this man just looked undead. Like life had never graced him and death was all he knew.

Vusha eased a bit. "I thought reapers were to show when someone's time is nigh?"

"Not in her case." Curil walked over and crouched, he maintained a distance however. "This young woman is afflicted--much like yourself--only in her case with something she cannot hope to control. This woman doesn't have a guardian angel, she has me to watch over her."

Vusha felt his ears deceived him. He looked at Curil's stern face and found no falsehood on him or within his voice. Vusha looked down to Cassie, seeing her soundly resting in his arms. Curiosity overtook him and he spoke up.

"Why would she have a reaper guarding her?"

"Because, it is my job to be sure she only perishes the way she's supposed to. An angel would protect her from the harm itself, but the danger she attracts will find her one way or another." Curil paused. "Now, will you let me see her?"

Vusha groaned softly. He didn't want to just hand Cassie over, not knowing if Curil could be trusted or not, but it seemed too far-fetched to be a lie.

Vusha glared at Curil and gently rested Cassie onto the ground, he stayed between them....

2. Orange Perfect

This is a SUPER old idea that's complete but not edited for reading. I recently got back into it, not fully, but I came up with something I found interesting.

I try to have as much representation in my stories as humanly possible and wanted an internal struggle with a young man coming to terms with his sexuality. I'll say right now that as a cis het woman, I cannot portray it exactly, but I did my best and I hope not to downplay any real struggles associated.

The story is basically a coming of age for three characters: my MC Cassie, (she's usually my MC), and my two secondary MCs Shay and Lucius. They each struggle with different issues, but they help each other come to terms with their changing world.

Excerpt (aka the part I was gonna add):

"I don't know." Shay began. "I guess I don't know what I want anymore... how to feel... or what I should be feeling."

Cassie listened to him and said nothing, she remained looking at him and spoke after a second of silence.

"Maybe... It's not that you don't know, but you don't wanna say it?"

Shay looked at Cassie and seeing her expression, he scoffed and shook his head.

"You know, you're really easy to read and I'm not gay." His eyes rolled in annoyance.

"No one said you were. Maybe, you just don't feel comfortable in a certain role you have... well, a role you feel like you have to fulfill." Cassie paused with a sigh. "And anyways, no matter what's true about you, that's not a bad thing. You're you and every little thing that goes into making that--who you are--is beautiful, no matter what it is or who has something to say about it."

Shay scoffed. "Even if it was true, what do you know about anything like that? You, a girl, who's okay with being one."

Cassie's head shook. "Who said that?"

Shay narrowed his eyes. "It's obvious."

"Yeah, maybe because otherwise no one would care to put up with me." Cassie looked off. "I won't say how I feel is comparable by any means, but it's no less valid." Cassie gripped her hands together as she spoke. "When you feel like a girl, but have dreams people say are for boys... it gets to you. You don't know who would even want to deal with you and you change to fit one mold, but it... It never quite feels right."

Shay swallowed hard before saying, "is that why... you liked Lucius?"

Cassie hid her face. "Yeah." Taking a sharp breath, it seemed like she wasn't going to say anything else...

3. Manifested Malevolence

This is a somewhat old story I just never got around to finishing. It has ~10k and I do have the whole thing planned, but I'm kind of lazy when I have no motivation 😅

So, it's a dystopia where my two MCs, Curil and Cassie, run into each other. Hoping to work together, Curil finds it hard to simply trust her right away, especially with all the strange happenings that only occured when they ran into each other.

Excerpt:

Curil turned back as he supported her escape out the window. With the water gushing, his gaze snapped back. The pipes were bursting in other places and he couldn't tell how many more would burst, so they needed to move and move fast.

Curil returned to looking at Cassie and she had gotten mostly out of the way, so Curil hurried himself to the window sil and stood up pressing his back tightly against the outside wall of the building.

Cassie was just standing there, unable to move any further. She was gripping the wall tightly and made no effort to even open her eyes. Curil tried to look past her and saw there was another building right beside the one that was currently filling with water. He knew Cassie wasn't going to open her eyes, so he just spoke.

"Okay, Cassie?" She shook her head. "Just listen to me. There's a building we might be safe in, so let's go there."

Cassie said nothing and just remained holding tightly to the wall.

Curil sighed. "Cassie, come on, I know you can do this! All you have to do is move to your left." Curil began to hear the water pouring out of the windows. When he looked back, Cassie was slightly moving. "Good job Cassie!"

He encouraged her and started to move himself. He got close enough to her and kept giving her words of encouragement. Soon, they reached the edge of the building and when Cassie's hand felt the corner she let out a gasp and opened her eyes.

"W-where do I go!" Her voice shook.

"Relax, Cassie, you might fall and you don't want that do you?" Her head shook furiously. "Okay then, I saw a balcony on the edge of that building. Do you see it?"

She nodded. "Y-yeah, I s-see that."

"Okay, think you can jump to it?"

"J-jump to it?" She shook her head. "No, I can't do that!"

"Cassie, come on! I know you can and being out here is dangerous! Just try it, we should be close enough to do so."

Cassie remained against the wall, unmoving. Curil looked back, seeing more water pouring out of the window. He looked back to Cassie and saw her still standing there. Curil didn't know what else he could do.

"Forget it... This is why I was better alone."

Curil mumbled that and started to sidle against the wall the other way, he figured he'd find something else he could climb down on.

Cassie's breath turned ragged and she tried to speak. Not only did the wind take her breath away, her throat was horse. Cassie looked back to the balcony and took a deep breath. She shut her eyes tight and took yet another breath.

"It's okay... it's okay... it's okay... it's... okay!" Cassie pushed herself off the building and screamed as she fell to the balcony.

When she landed, she roughly tumbled before slamming into the other side of the balcony wall.

Groaning, she just lay barely moving on the floor...

4. Siren's Call

I just fell in love with a character I made and wanted to work on this sequel ☺

I don't wanna spoil anything in case I ever decide to post the 1st story. Lmk, if you're interested, it's actually done, but I'm finishing some beta reader edits.

So, in the previous story, an event took place and things are a little different than usual, mainly that Demons seem to be the ones trying to help Humans.

Excerpt:

"This world makes it so individuals are less intelligent because they lack education thanks to a worthless currency. Regardless of it's value, nothing can beat the desire for knowledge."

"But you're a teacher," Akuma said with a smirk.

"I can do very little to change the institutions already agreed upon--or shall I say unchallenged?--that is why I give free lessons and dedicate my time to students who want to pursue higher forms of education, not just this corporate cash grab sullying the pursuit of knowledge."

"So, with talk like that, you're not worried about someone thinking your a Demon?"

He scoffed. "Even if they did, Humans perceive what they want to, not what's actual fact. So if I appear to be a Demon, only those who want to see me as one will. I could bear down my dark attachments, lose the soul in my eyes and some will still advocate for me. That is the nature of Humans."

Dia may have looked different, but he still was the same Demon he always was.

"I guess I see what you mean... But, why are you here?" Akuma asked.

"Isn't it obvious? To protect Cassie's interest. Not many have it in mind and I'll be dammed it I allow another tragedy to happen while I'm alive."

I also drew for a lot of some of my other stories! Many of my characters have finalized designs and I love how they came out!

Fanfiction

1. The Tangled Choice

Fandom: Ace Attorney

So, I wrote three stories about Van Zieks 'cause I got obsessed with him after DGS.

Also, I'll just put a *Spoiler Warning* in case you didn't play the games. I don't really spoil anything, but just in case, feel free to skip this one.

I really like his solo stories, but I also like this one too!

This story is a love triangle between my OC/MC Cassie, Van Zieks and Asogi. I always love the "gentlemen duel" where two individuals work for the heart of the one they love. Cassie is ditzy in this story and doesn't even realize they're fighting over her, so it's now two tasks instead of one.

Excerpt:

Cassie nodded. "I did get a bit carried away, that's like me though."

Barok smiled a bit. "That it is."

Asogi then stood up. "Since it's late, I'll accompany her back home."

Barok just looked at the him without a word. It was more of a scowl than anything.

"Oh, thank you! I know Barok may have work he must see to, so I apologize for taking up your time." She got up. "Actually, I didn't ask how you two know each other."

Asogi smiled. "Perhaps I can inform you on the walk home?"

She giggled. "Sounds wonderful."

"Then we shall see to it... but, do you mind if me and Lord Van Zieks speak for a moment?"

"It's no problem. I'm fine waiting since you both were so generous to me." They both chuckled as she got up and walked to the door. "Have a good night Barok!"

"You as well and please get some rest."

"I certainly will, you don't have to worry." Cassie then opened the door and left.

Once the door shut, the air of pleasantries left with Cassie, leaving a stale more hardened feel in the room.

Asogi spoke up. "I would love to ask about your relationship, but I'm sure you would want to ask the same of me."

"You're correct." Van Zieks stated. "However, Cassie may not answer the same as you. So, what is your relationship?"

Asogi let out a sigh. "There's no use in dancing around, I happen to cherish Cassie. She is a very wonderful woman and I would hate to see her with a frown on her face."

Barok nodded. "Then we're the same."

"Now I'll ask, what's the nature of your relationship? How does Cassie view it?"

"Purely platonic." Barok was quick to answer. "Cassie is a very close friend, introduced through a mutual of ours. I relied on her for the better part of a year. I wouldn't want to see her life without fortune and happiness."

"We truly are the same then." It seemed Asogi was going to leave it there, but he took a sharp breath. "So, how are we to go about this? I have no intention of just letting her slip out of my hands."

"Neither do I." They sat stiff for a moment. "How about this, we let Cassie choose." Barok proposed. "Whoever she feels strongest towards is the one who takes her heart, no question about it."

"You two have known each other longer. What chance do I have?"

"I'm fine with pampering her, even expressing our feelings outright," Barok said, "it would actually be very hard for me not to pamper her."

"Is that so? Well, I agree with the terms. Whatever becomes of our advances shall not be met with malice, however, and we shouldn't make things hard on her. Let's not fight amongst ourselves." Asogi added.

"I agree. This is for Cassie after all."

"Indeed."

With that, it settled their conditions with little to no argument. Thus began the length of their efforts to court their unrequited love in a Tangled Choice...

Untitled One Piece Fanfiction

Fandom: ^

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Law from One Piece and wrote nearly ten fics for him. One in particular was really good (for a 13 year old) and I decided to revise it to meet my standards now.

Excerpt: “We have no food!” Cassie complained with a tone almost as if a Warlord were right in front of them.

Law sighed, knowing she had nothing important to tell him. “Who cares? Can’t you find something to make like you always do?”

“That’s the problem, I’m really hungry right now and there’s nothing for me to cook!”

Once more, he sighed. This time, he got up and stood in front of her. “We’re coming up on an island, just wait and you can go shopping later.”

She huffed. “Can I buy whatever I want?”

Despite only knowing her for a few weeks, those words made him pause. Law knew she could easily spend more than a thousand Berri just from a trip to the market alone, he learned that the hard way and felt like he couldn’t let it happen again.

“I’m going with you then.”

She giggled. “Good! That means I can buy lots of stuff and you can carry it for me.”

“Really? Is that something you should be saying so easily around me?”

She gave a slight shrug. “What difference would it make? Aren’t you smart enough to see through my plans regardless?” Law felt his mouth turn up in a bitter smirk and Cassie already turned to head out of the room. “I’ll be ready once we dock!”

Without any confirmation on his end, Cassie was out of the room and left Law as he once was. Law now needed to focus on a different task—being sure they wouldn’t lose more money than they had. He softly shook his head and returned to his desk.

Law considered this woman as someone who was flagrantly carefree. Nothing seemed to ever bother her and she adapted to the crew quickly. In her few weeks with them, she easily made friends with almost everyone; similarly she had gotten comfortable enough to speak with Law as if he were nothing more than a colleague and not her captain.

There wasn’t much time between their arrival at the island—not like he led on—and this was only confirmed when he heard a ruckus above him on the deck of the ship. He was quick to check it out and once he reached the outside, he saw Cassie nearly falling off the rail of the submarine as she impatiently waited for them to dock.

“Cassie!” She turned to see Law. “It’ll be your own death if you fall off.”

She snickered. “You act like that matters, I can save myself!” With that, she stood up on the railing. “Maybe if we could dock faster, I wouldn’t be so impatient.” From her body came large green vines and they fell into the water. She descended on her below Law’s sight.

He walked to the edge and found her casually resting on a makeshift raft from the vines that came from her. With one vine anchored to the submarine, she looked up to him.

“Come on, we can leave and let Bepo safely dock the sub.”

“Or—” Law’s finger rose and before Cassie knew it, she was back on the submarine’s deck. She collapsed on her back from the sudden shift. “You could learn to wait.”

Frowning, she got up; her arms were crossed, but Law saw the vines retracting back into her body.

“Fine, whatever.”

With her calmed, he returned to the interior of the submarine hoping to get a budget in place before they arrived...

Untitled Obey Me! Fanfic

Fandom: ^

Soooooo it's no secret that I love Levi from OM! However, I since I'm a lot older I didn't think writing a fanfic would be worth it and never did. However, I'm currently struggling with... everything in my life and got a good idea for a story with him.

In it's infancy so I haven't written very much for it, but I'll summarize to story instead.

So, that's it from me. If any of these interest you, feel free to ask me anything about them. I'd even me open to just talking too, no pressure and thank you for reading if you got this far! ❤

Summary: It was almost fate for the pair to meet--Levi didn't get his preorder and Cassie did. Despite the tension between the two at first, they soon realize they have more in common than they thought.

[shadowqueen402]

Wizeman, The Embarrassing Dad

A present for @kayssweetdreams for her upcoming fic! Hope you like it!

Reala was so frustrated at the hiccups that it wasn't even funny. "Why hasn't the cure been found yet!?" He demanded the others, crossing his arms and glaring at the Visitors. "I demand to brought back to normal!"

"Well…" Trisha Jane began, but she was stopped by Wizeman's voice calling out to Reala.

"ReeRee, are you having a playdate with your little friends!?" Wizeman called out to him, much to Reala's dismay. "That girlfriend of yours, Aria, was such a lovely lady! Cute as a button! You have to tell me the story of how you two met later on!"

"You and Aria are dating?" Jose asked, looking at Reala with confusion.

"No!" Reala replied, averting his glare while blushing. "Even she's aware that we're not together."

"And the world breathes a huge sigh of relief," Leo sneered, smirking at the angered Reala.

"ReeRee, I found your plush toys scattered all around the floor of your domain!" Wizeman called. "I managed to pick them up before Ceberus or Clawz got to them! You know how they get with toys!

NiGHTS snickered at this, despite earning a glare from Reala. Then, a mischievous idea popped into her head. "Hey, Dad?" NiGHTS called. "Reala wants to know if you'll make some cookies tonight! They were really good! I'm sure Aria would like some too!"

"Of course, my little daydream!" Wizeman replied. "I can't say no to my little tushy-face!" Leo started to laugh at the nickname Reala was given.

Reala facepalmed as he heard Rebecca, Kaylo, and Mei giggle.

"NiGHTS, did Reala propose to Aria yet?" Wizeman called. "Will you have a sister-in-law soon? And will I have grandchildren soon!? He must hurry up! When I was his age, I was already a father to nine Nightmarens!"

"No, he has not!" NiGHTS called. "I think he's too busy being an edge-lord as Visitors call it!"

"I've seen a grumpy Lance more edgier than him," Leo clapped back.

"WHAT!?" Reala demanded, already in a bad mood.

"Aww, I know exactly what will make my little muffin happy: he just wants lots of hugs from me!" Wizeman said. "He always got them whenever he would have nightmares!"

"I didn't know he could get nightmares…" Mei said.

"Ooh, they were terrible," Wizeman said. "But I was there for my brave little ReeRee-kins! In fact, he was as brave as the day I first tried to potty train him! Oh, let me tell you all about it. What a mess!"

Reala sighed as all he could do was facepalm.

Aria belongs to me.

Kaylo belongs to: @kayssweetdreams

Rebecca belongs to: @thehyperrequiem

Trisha Jane belongs to: @lovelyteng

Mei belongs to: @sundove88

[worfs-fabulous-hair]

Series I'm currently on : TOS

Episodes watched: 01x07-01x09

Episode names:

What Are Little Girls Made Of

Miri

Dagger of The Mind

Thoughts:

What Are Little Girls Made Of

The title sounds really creepy, like who was in charge of that ?

Everyone dramatically looking into the camera during their close ups

Come alone I definitely won't kill you

" were you ever engaged before Spock ?" We're not at that part of the series yet ma'am

Ah , security officers on an isolated planet with the captain I wonder what's going to happen

Yup , they died they weren't even there for 5 minutes. He was pushed by this alien dude that keeps creeping around like a Scooby Doo villain

Why does star fleet just keep sending very small groups of people to be isolated on planets with no inhabitants in the name of science

Like this dude created androids because he was lonely and they have the audacity to be surprised by this

Of all things he could have had this android do why make her kiss Kirk ?

Shatner must have gotten dizzy on this weird spinning table thing

" mind your own business Mr. Spock I'm tired of your half breed interference" ????? Like they just cut to something else

How many times is Kirk going to get duplicated

"I'm not a bad guy I just want to kill all humans and turn them into androids so that we can be the superior race" sound like a bad guy to me man

It's the dick rock from the meme

I love how Spock interacted with Android Kirk for less than a minute and immediately was like this isn't my captain it's an imposter, security we're going to follow that man

Scooby Doo villain becomes philosophical and tries to killed evil doctor after that , he dies in the process

Evil doctor is an Android like the captain has been telling everyone since they got there ( the makeup job for the reveal is really bad)

Whoo Android Kirk has died

Man nurse chapel has had a rough few days she just wanted to see her fiance

Also apparently the thing about " I'm tired of you meddling Mr Spock " thing was a sign for Spock to know it wasn't him and that he needed help

Spock was offended by being called a half breed

Other episodes under the cut

Miri

Earth the second

Zombie apocalypse ?

" everything looks like it's from the 1960s on earth" " man the 1960s we're ugly"

Yo I was right it's basically a zombie apocalypse

Spock went outside with the security crew the security crew is gonna die

A plague that kill adults

Ominous children sounds

They've been infected with the plague who would have guessed that going down with no protective gear or understanding of what your getting into would cause this

Spock's fine though cause he's Spock ( that's literally the explanation they give )

Also the security team hasn't died yet and I'm actually surprised

Army filled with 300 -400 y/o children

Jim gets attacked by zombie while he's attempting to talk to the army of children

" I may not be affected by the virus but I'm a carrier even if I wasn't I wouldn't want to go back to the ship without you captain " how can they make Spock so gay without trying.

The kids stole their communicators and machines so now their stuck with 300 year old equipment

300 y/o girl that the crew has been taking care of becomes jealous of Janice because the crew have found cures and will leave so she goes to the child army to create revenge plan

Child army makes more ominous noises while they surround captain Kirk with clubs and beat him

Why leave the man who is eager to inject himself with a strange liquid , alone with said strange liquid prepared in a hypo

Like he injected himself and went unconscious

But he's fine , cause he's bones

Dagger of The Mind

Oooo sensory drugs , my favorite kind

Why are they sending a barrel of drugs down to a colony ?

A man in the strange human sized cargo box that got beamed aboard

Space prison / mental asylum

Dangerous criminal is the one who was in the large human size box

Man this guy is really effective with his neck chops

" I just want to strike a deal " is holding a gun

The criminal gets apprehended and claims to a doctor at the prison. Turns out he's right , arguments ensue between bones , Kirk and Spock

"beam down and come look at everything yourself captain " cause nothing ever goes wrong when that happens

Every time a pretty woman shows up you can see Spock sigh like oh shit here we go again, these guys are going to go monkey brain again

They started going down in the elevator and Kirk just starts hugging the doctor because it's going fast ? Like bro that's excessive

Look into the strange swirly light box to calm down

Never mind the swirly light box is evil

The criminal doctor guy keeps trying to tell people that the head doctor is gonna kill the captain , its somewhere between working and not working

I've been wandering if this was too early on for vulcans to have telepathic abilities or if Spock was going to try to mind meld with this guy to find the truth

Sometimes Jim makes some really bad judgement calls like he just sits in the hypnosis chair and is like hey it be cool if you used it on me and now it's being used against him.

Also Jim needs to stop falling in love so easily

These guys have replicas of star ship cabins .

I completely forgot that they established that these places have force fields to keep people from transporting themselves out at the beginning of this episode until it was brought up again just now as plot point

Spock to the rescue

Evil head doctor get brain washed by his own creation

Spock awkwardly sitting in the corner of the room while Jim makes out with Helen

Oof the head doctor died

Every episode they just kinda leave like nothing happened and I'm starting to find that kinda weird

[marblesphere]

I want happy ending😂, so I continued the one shot. The first part is on the link above this.

Xiao x reader part 2

*3rd Pov*

He finally found her, right in the middle of a flower patch. Xiao drops his spear. He quickly cradles [Your Name]'s body. Warmth quickly slipped away from her body. For the first time after the Archon's war he felt fear again. Lifting her, he quickly rushes back to the inn.

Verr Goldet quickly called for a doctor the moment Xiao showed up with badly injured [Your Name]. After putting her in the care of Verr Goldet. Xiao wastes no time to visit Zhongli. His Archon must have some kind of way to cure [Your Name].

The doctor shook his head, Verr Goldet clamps her mouth, his husband quickly catches her and lets her sit down in a chair.

"...You should clean her up and… we'll wait for Lord Xiao." Huai'an said.

"...How? Why? She is still so young…" Verr cried.

All Huai'an could do was comfort her without a word. After collecting herself, Verr cleaned up [Your Name]. She prays that Xiao will bring whoever that can cure her.

Not long after she finished, Xiao came back with Zhongli in tow. Zhongli takes a look at [Your Name] and shakes his head. Xiao is shaken. His whole body is trembling. Slowly he walks to the bed, caressing her cheek, his thumb swipes the part under her eyes and then her lips. How strange, she looks like she is just sleeping peacefully.

Once again, his karmic debt stole someone precious to him. He really can't take it anymore. The angry voices of his karmic debt are getting stronger and louder. Even though it was less painful when [Your Name] stayed by his side. "Foolish mortal…" He pressed his lips to her cold one as a tear slipped down from his eye.

"Wait.." something caught Zhongli's eyes. "Xiao, did you ever give something to her?" The Geo Archon asked.

"...I gave her an amulet and trinkets made from sage skill, to keep malicious intent away…" Xiao answered.

A small glowing light finally caught their attention. "...This is… the amulet I gave to her last year." Xiao said.

"...There is a way to save her now."

Xiao snaps his eyes to his Archon. His being is full of hope.

"...We need to turn her into an adeptus. She is not dead yet. Her soul hasn't completely left her body. But even so, the chance is small." Zhongli spoke out.

'Turn her to an adeptus and let her suffer from that very own immortality?!' His mind is reeling. Part of him doesn't want to turn her into an adeptus. Being an adeptus and attaining immortality is not as enjoyable as those foolish mortals thought to be. But another part of him doesn't want her to die.

"...Is there no other way?" Xiao finally uttered out.

"No. This is the only way. We also need to hurry. Right now part of her soul is inside that amulet. You subconsciously put a small piece of your soul there. That amulet is anchoring her soul. But this won't last long. We need to call for the other adepti to help if we are going to turn her into one." Zhongli said.

"....Understood." Xiao gritted his teeth. Even if after [Your Name] woke up and hated him for it. So be it. It's his fault in the first place, he shouldn't have softened up to her and rejected her from the start. It's all his fault that [Your Name] is in this condition.

Usually when someone is going to be an Adeptus, they will need to take a trial of earth and heaven. But there is another way to turn to an Adeptus without taking the trial. Of course the risk is way higher than the trial. You need to directly take some blood and a lot of energy from an Adeptus. It needs to be pure Adeptus, that's why Yanfei and Ganyu won't cut it. The most important factor is, the blood of the Adeptus has to be compatible with the human or the human will definitely die. Humans can't stand the power of adeptal energy, so they need the blood of an adeptus to mix in their body. With mixed blood, hopefully they can withstand it.

Xiao has called all available pure adepti. After listening to this side of their story. Most of them won't agree to this risky method. Not only the receiver will be damaged even the giver would be too. And there's also the blood compatibility thing.

"I will do it." Xiao said. "I will be the one to give her the blood and energy. All of you just need to give your energy to me. I will convert it to mine and transfer it to her. I will be the one to bear all the burden." Xiao said.

"Have you gone mad, Conqueror of Demon? You are sacrificing yourself to a mere mortal girl?!" Mountain Sharper ridiculed. Never in a million years will they hear the cold blooded Conqueror of Demon willingly sacrifice everything just for a single mortal girl.

"She is not a mere mortal." Xiao hissed.

"Indeed. What kind of mere mortal girl she is, if she can withstand the prolonged interaction with an adeptus." Zhongli chuckled. "And even managed to open the heart of the vigilant yaksha. Which even us adepti couldn't do in our lifetimes."

"...Indeed. From this aspect, she really is not qualified as a mere mortal girl." Cloud Retainer chuckled.

"...It's not like there's no human become an adeptus in the past. Rex Lapis has spoken. We just need to follow it…. And, I am curious how this will end?" Moon craver said.

"Hohoho...Of course it will turn out to be alright. [Your Name] is a gentle child. I am sure all of this will turn out to be alright. You have my full support, Conqueror of Demons." Granny Ping laughed.

The softly glowing amulet starts shining brightly, as if it has been listening to them. It suddenly broke and a glowing sphere entered [Your Name]'s body. Xiao quickly cradles her body to his. He can feel the warmth of the body now.

"Quick! The soul has returned to the body. It will leave soon if we don't do anything." Zhongli instructed.

Xiao bites his wrist, fresh blood quickly flows and drips down to the white mattress. He takes a gulp of his own blood and feeds it to her. After making sure [Your Name] gulped it down. He starts transferring his adeptal energy. [Your Name]'s body starts glowing as it is enveloped by Xiao's adeptal energy. It seems like they are compatible to each other. Granny Ping is the first one to support Xiao by giving him her energy. The rest followed soon.

*1st Pov*

"~~~♪ ~~~ ♪" I hummed the tune as I weaved the flower crown. The smell of Qingxin is really calming. Right now, I am in the middle of the Qingxin flower field, making a flower crown for Xiao. "Finished." I giggled.

"What are you making?" An amused voice of Xiao asked.

"Flower crown!" I exclaimed happily. "Here." I stretched out my hands. Xiao bends down and lets me put the crown on his head. "So pretty." I cooed.

"You are the lovely one." He caressed my cheek using his thumb and then put a crystalfly on my hair. He takes his seat beside me. I lean against him as he loops his hand around my shoulder and stroking my head gently. Just like this, the two of us in this world are the happiest. His skillful hand is really putting me to sleep. He seems to notice me dozing off. "Sleep." And I feel a feather light kiss on the crown of my forehead.

When I woke up. I am in Wangshu inn. The moon is already hanging on the curtain of the night sky. I see Xiao is just looking at the scenery from the balcony. "Xiao…" I called.

"You have awoken." His eyes softened. I join him in stargazing, cozily trapped in his arms. He rests his head on my shoulder.

"~~~♪ ~~~ ♪" I started humming that tune again.

"[Your Name]" He whispered softly.

"Hm?" I closed my eyes, just relishing the fact we are enjoying each other's presence.

"....You should wake up."

My whole body freezes. I turn to look at him. His gaze, full of tender loving and hint of sadness. Xiao tucks a strand of loose hair to my ear. "...Xiao...I…don't want to..." I shook my head.

"[Your Name]... You already know the truth of this world." He pressed my head against his chest. I didn't say anything. I don't want to say anything. "...I am waiting for you."

"...No...you are not…" I clenched my hand.

"I am. You just need to wake up and everything will be alright." He coaxed gently.

"Xiao… already has someone dear to him…. It's not...me." I mumbled.

"Silly mortal. You know that's not true." He chuckled, his chest rumbled, sending a pleasant feeling to me.

"It's true." I puffed my cheeks.

"It's not." He rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't jump to conclusions too quickly." He poked my forehead.

"I...I…But, I have investigated her. She is perfect. Everyone sings praise to her whenever I ask." I sulked.

"That's the problem."

"Problem?" I blinked.

"She is too perfect, almost abnormally so. There's no speck of dust on her. Even adepti are not as perfect as her." Xiao said.

"...Then, what did she do to them? She is just a normal girl. She didn't do anything extraordinary…" I blinked.

"That's why you have to wake up. I have a feeling, "I" know the reason."

"Why can't you just tell me right now?" I whined, shaking his sleeve like a brat.

"Because, if I did. You won't wake up anymore." He rolled his eyes. "Or, do you hate me now?" Xiao cupped my cheek, making me stare at his piercing gaze.

*poof* I blush at the close proximity and bury my face in his chest. "...Not fair…" I grumbled. "You know well I yearn for you. I could never hate you." My voice is muffled.

"I know. After all, this is the world you created." Xiao wrapped his hands around me. "I am but a piece of soul that slipped into the amulet. Go forth. "I" will answer everything you want to ask. Do not be afraid. "I" treasure you more than you know." His voice echoed as I felt a kiss on the crown on my head. The scenery faded, leaving me alone in the darkness.

"How do I wake up?!" I yelled.

""I" am calling for you." His voice faded.

A loud inhuman screech caught my attention. I turn my body. There, standing in front of me is a majestic gigantic bird. "...A phoenix…" I murmured.

The bird of an ancient legend. It's said to be able to reraise itself from the ashes of its predecessor. The majestic bird screeches one more time and lowers itself to me. As if beckoning me to come over. His golden eyes never leave mine. "...I see… It's you." My feet automatically walked toward it. I stretch out my hand and the bird leans its neck to me. I wrap my hands around it as its wings envelop me.

*3rd Pov*

3 days. It has been 3 days since the ritual. Zhongli has told him the ritual is a success. Right now, [Your Name] is only sleeping. As to why and when she will wake up. Not even the Geo Archon knows. All Xiao can do is wait. He never knew waiting was this painful. Not even when he was battling his karmic debt is this painful.

For the second time in his lifetime, he is glad he doesn't need to sleep. The first time is when he is having nightmares. Not needing sleep is quite a solution on its own. And right now, he can keep guarding her, without letting any detail be missed out. His hand on her. He is praying to whatever deity out there, just so she can open her eyes again.

"Adeptus Xiao…" A soft voice called. Xiao frowns when he hears that voice.

"What are you doing here?" His voice was cold without any emotion.

"I…" Yue Mei opened her mouth, but she couldn't say anything. Don't be so cold to me? She should have known what caused this.

"That charm won't work on me anymore." He growled. He really is holding back his anger. That mortal is still Liyue's citizen.

Her eyes widened at his claim. 'He knows.' She trembled. She finally realized how terrifying the vigilant yaksha is. But the previous image of him is still overlapping now. "I.. I love you.." She blurted out.

"You...love me…?" He turned to her, piercing gold eyes meeting trembling toffee colored doe eyes. "You used charm to bewitch me and have the guts to confess your false affection to me." He snarled as he took each step to her.

Yue Mei flinches and takes a step back each time he advances, until her back hits the wall. Xiao stops 4 steps away from her. He is disgusted, he doesn't even want to breathe the same air as her. Then he remembered his actions for the past one month. He groaned inwardly, he felt dirty. This girl is really a troublesome mortal.

"Disappear. Don't show yourself in front of me anymore." He turned his back to her. "You better dispose of that charm. It might work right now, but it won't work forever."

"Then… tell me. What should I do to obtain your love." She cried, collapsing on the floor.

"Nothing…" Xiao turned his back to her, walking back to the bed.

"What?"

"You didn't need to do anything. Because even if you sacrifice everything to me, I still won't look at you." Xiao continued to sit beside [Your Name], using his thumb to trace a circle on her hand.

"Please… don't leave me alone."

"You seems to still not waking up from your dream. The one you love," He quoted. " is the charmed version of me. You only need the nice version of me. Not me entirely."

"It's not true… I…"

*1st Pov*

"...Xiao…" I called softly, surprised at how hoarse my voice is. My mouth feels like I have eaten iron. So disgusting.

"[Your Name]" Xiao hugged me, though making sure not to be too tight. I can feel soreness all over my body. I notice the perfect girl on her knees crying from the corner of my eyes.

"Ummm…" 'Did I wake at the wrong timing? Great job [Your Name], you really have a knack for timing the bad timing.' "...Xiao… can I have water…?" I blinked.

"I will get it from Verr Goldet." He said as he disappeared in a breeze.

"....Um… Miss Yue Mei… are you okay…?" I asked tentatively. I mean having my love rival on the floor crying is not something I expect to see when I wake up. And I do know something is different about me. With those kinds of injuries, I should have never survived.

"...Tell me… why are you not afraid of vigilant yaksha?" She asked.

"...?" I titled my head not understanding her question. "Why should I be afraid of Xiao?" I blinked.

"He is not...as gentle as I imagined to be." She answered.

"If you are talking about how he scares people, then yep, Xiao is borderline rude actually. I mean, he didn't show up at all for the very first month after our meeting. Even though I kept waiting for him. But, Xiao is gentle. Because of his gentleness, that's why he put on a cold exterior. It's all to protect us." I smiled remembering the memory.

"...Do you love him that much? Even though he can kill you in a heartbeat?"

"Yes. I love him the most. If by chance he killed me, then there must be a reason. So, I will stay around as a ghost to find out then." I giggled.

"I will never hurt you." Xiao said as he appeared with a water pitcher and a glass. He hands me a glass of water.

"I know." I answered after I took a sip.

"If by chance, I will hurt you in the slightest… I would rather…"

"You can't kill yourself, okay. If you did. I will kill myself too. In a world without you is the same as death. I don't have anymore to lose in this world. If you are gone. I will follow you."

"You can't!!"

"I can. That's why you have to live." I said.

"You are impossible." He murmured.

"I know. You have told me a lot of times. You also said I am clumsy, an idiot, a foolish mortal, foolish child, snotty brat, stubborn human and…"

"Stop. You don't need to say anymore." He groaned. "You need to rest." He laid me down on the bed.

"Eh? But I…" I protested.

"Rest." He commanded.

"....yes…" I sulked.

The two of us realized there is still one more person in this room when we heard a giggle.

"I see… I finally understood the words that Adeptus told me." She wiped her tears. "Adeptus Xiao, I am sorry for my unsightly behavior." She bowed. "And this… I don't need it anymore. Please tell me how to dispose of this." A charm rested on her palm.

"Just burn it." He huffed.

"Understood. Then...ummm...Miss please get well soon." She smiled and then she exited the room.

"Xiao…" I looked at him.

"Rest."

"...I want to know how I am still alive." I said quietly.

"...I… will tell you tomorrow." He refused to look at me.

"Xiao…" I struggled to sit up. I cupped his cheeks using my hands. "No matter what you do. I am sure you have your reason. Please tell me. I won't hate you. In fact right now, I am grateful I am still alive and can see you." I smiled.

"I… turn you to adeptus…" He whispered, his golden eyes refusing to look at me.

"Adeptus? I thought humans have to take the trials of heaven and earth to become an adeptus." I blinked.

"You...were half dead when I brought you here." He said shakily as if the unpleasant memories surfaced. "Zhongli-dono tells me the only way to save you is to turn you into an adeptus. There is another way aside from taking the trial of earth and heaven. You need pure adeptus blood in your body and pure adeptal energy being pumped to you. I gave my blood and my energy to you. The other adepti help too. They transferred their energy to me and after I converted it, I gave it to you." He said.

I felt a jolt of worry when I heard that. "Are you fine now? Have you recovered your adeptal energy? What should I do to help you recover?" I fired a barrage of questions.

"I am fine. I have recovered. There is no need to worry about me." Xiao grabbed my hand on his cheek and placed a kiss on my pulse.

I feel my pulse quicken as blush coats my cheeks. "You really are weird. You are fine when you approach me by yourself. But everytime I take initiative, you become embarrassed. How cute." The vigilant yaksha is no more, right now in front of me there is only the devious yaksha.

"X...Xiao…" my eyes darted nervously.

"Hm?" He hummed as he placed another kiss on the side of my neck. My breath hitches, I can clearly feel his mouth curls to a smirk.

Then, I heard a gasp that was not mine.

"Hohoho, as I thought. Everything will turn out to be alright." Granny Ping laughed.

I push Xiao away and voila, Granny Ping and other adepti including Zhongli and Ganyu are standing on the entrance. Ganyu is peeking from the gap between her hands.

"I take it you are alright now." Cloud retainer said.

"Y-yes. Thank you for checking me up." I bowed, my voice was clearly too high pitched.

"Hohoho. I am glad you are alright. It seems there are no complications. We should take our leave and leave youngsters on their own devices." Granny Ping laughed.

"...Xiao… don't go too hard on her. She is still recovering. Ah… this is youth." Zhongli spoke like a true old man.

Our faces combust to flames. The adepti quickly dismiss themselves, leaving only the two of us. The atmosphere has turned awkward.

"I will let you rest." Xiao said.

I grabbed his sleeve before he could disappear. "Stay. I… have something I want to talk about."

Xiao sits on the edge of the bed. I clench and unclench my fist on his sleeve. "Xiao… what happened… with Miss Yue Mei?" I asked. "I want to know the truth."

Xiao sighs. "She wore a charm made by adepti. That charm has the power to attract people. The downside of that charm is, it becomes useless if it were known to other people. I...was bewitched by it too. That's why…" He gulped.

"...I see…" A weight I didn't know I have seems to be gone now. "I see…. I thought… I thought you prefer her more than me."

"Foolish mortal." He rolled his eyes. "I will never leave you, [Your Name]. Not now, not ever. I will stay by your side, until you don't need me anymore." He pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Then, you will have to stay by my side forever. Because, I won't get tired of you." I smiled cheekily.

"I know." He leaned in and closed the gap between us. The kiss is short and sweet. He groans a little after he pulls back.

"...Did I do something wrong?" Now I am worried, I...have never kissed someone. I might be not doing it correctly.

"...No." He put his head on my shoulder. "I don't think I can wait for you to fully recover before I start carving for you." His arms tightened around my waist.

"Xia...nnnn…" I clamped my mouth shut when I felt him nipping my neck.

"[Your Name]..." He murmured, his hot breath is fanning my neck. "You are making it harder to resist." He mumbled as he dragged me down back to the bed. He slips in the cover with me. His arm wraps securely around me. "Sleep."

"Xiao…" I called as my sleepiness started to kick in.

"Hm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, [Your Name]."

Omake

The moon is illuminating a certain room in Wangshu inn.

"Xiao….what happened to my amulet?" I blinked when I noticed my empty neck.

"It broke." He deadpanned.

"Broke…?" Tears drip down to the mattress.

"W-why are you crying? Don't cry." The panicked yaksha tried to calm me down.

"...rry…"

"Eh?"

"Sorry, I broke it. Even though it's a gift from you." I hiccuped.

"...haahh.." He sighed. "I can just make it again. There's no need to cry." Xiao wiped my tears.

"But, it has a piece of your soul. When I wear it, I feel you are always with me."

"...You have me here, yet you are crying for a piece of soul." He let out a low growl.

"It's not just a piece of soul. It's a piece of your soul." I protested.

"...I will stay with you. You don't need it anymore."

"But, I want it. What if you can't be with me. At least, I will have the amulet accompanying me everywhere I go." I mumbled.

"Everywhere you go?" He raised his brow.

"Yes. Everywhere….I...go…" *poof* A not so innocent thought just passed through my mind.

"What did you think about [Your Name]? The smirk came back. The devious yaksha has come back. Xiao leans so close, that I keep leaning back until I fall down to the mattress. Xiao traps me using his body. I can clearly smell Qingxin from him. My eyes darted around, trying to find a nonexistent escape. And part of me didn't really want to escape.

'So close!!!'

Xiao suddenly leans to my exposed neck. "Xiao...what are you-!!!!" I feel a small sting on my neck, before something wet is lapping on the spot. 'X….Xiao bit me…?' I am sure my face right now is the same as a tomato, my eyes swirling.

"[Your Name]." He breathed out.

"Xiao….nnnnn…." He pulled me to a dizzying deep kiss. His wet muscle quickly establishes dominance in my cavern. I fist his top so hard that I am sure it is crumpled. When he pulled back, I was still not processing it. My head is still dizzy from the kiss, mouth panting, and the mixed drool on the side of my mouth.

"...Irresistible." He wiped the drool on my mouth. He pressed a kiss on my forehead. "Today, I will let you go. Remember, when you recover, I just have to show you how much you don't need that amulet anymore." He smirked.

The blush that has finally faded away, comes back at full force.

[prismadog]

I kinda had a suggestion for your au,

So if you don't want to read it, this is your time to delete this ask,

But yeah, maybe Xornoth hasn't been completely corrupted when Scott's people sends them to the nether

As in like, he is definitely very corrupted and evil, but it's not too late for him to become human again

And then [insert something involving Shrub] happens and he is presented the choice of becoming human again and unlocking all the power of exor, at the cost of turning away from his humanity forever

why wouldn't I want to read a suggestion? I love talking to people! and I'd love to hear any feedback, comments, or suggestions!

ooh...I love this idea so much already!

I haven't thought too much about the end game yet but I have thought a bit about pre-exile Xornoth and it's pretty much what you said: maybe they're not fully corrupted and there's a chance for him to return to his former self.

EDIT: this is a quick message from after typing out the below post. I somehow ended up coming up with an end game, idk how that happened but it did. it's not exactly like you suggested but I hope it satisfies well enough. I really loved your ask btw.

also, this is fairly long so I'm putting a "keep reading line below". I think I might have also sort of written a story here? like, I meant for this to be just a little response but...it's not. it's practically a story for how things will go down. obviously, it'll need work, but it's a start!

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pre-exile chance

my thoughts: there was one moment when Xornoth really questioned their actions, questioned their blind faith to Exor, questioned how they became a monster when all they wanted was to be the beloved hero that their brother Alinar is.

that moment, it was when they were banished from their home, but before they were exiled to the Nether. the people wanted them gone and they turned to their brother for help, they wanted Alinar to keep the people from banishing them. the moment where Xornoth questioned everything was when Alinar turned his back on them.

they moved to the caves and questioned every single little thing they've ever done - where had they gone wrong? why wasn't Alinar proud of him? maybe...maybe everything they were doing wasn't so good after all.

I believe that if when Alinar had found his brother again, if he had asked Aeor for aid in saving his brother instead of banishing them for good, there would have been a chance for Xornoth to return to his former self. but no, Alinar had to go and remove that chance entirely from the equation and exile his brother in the Nether.

* I'm using the Clash of the Great Stags as reference for that part above. I'm leaving Conal & Alinar's canon story as history for the AU versions, though, there might be a tweak or two in the future, who knows?

but. after reading your suggestion and having a good long think about this...maybe there is still a chance, even after Alinar turned his back on his brother.

so...I'ma gonna hash things out here.

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hash out chance

we the fans know that there's going to be some form of "final battle" between the rulers and Xornoth - the same will be true for the AU as well. it'll be Xornoth, Sausage, Joey, and Shrub against everyone else - though, for Shrub, she doesn't want to fight, she doesn't want to see anyone get hurt, she just wants everyone to get along. but she knows that no matter what she does, everyone will end up at the final battle, ready for war.

but before that, there's a lot of moments where, like in canon, everyone is trying to find a cure for the corruption plaguing their lands. Shrub is no different, except, she pushes more towards a cure for people, for the demon themself.

Katherine, Scott, and Gem are more than willing to help her find a cure - they don't really know why Shrub is so insistent on curing the demon, she only ever vaguely tells them her reasons, but they're still going to help her because they're her friends.

during this, Scott will talk to Aeor, wondering if there is a way to cure the corruption at its source - the demon - without shedding any more blood.

Aeor, I know he's supposed to be a good god, believing in peace and equality - and he is a good god, but...I don't think he would want to resolve things between him and Exor peacefully. in the story I linked, he pretty much jumped right into a fight with Exor without hesitation

so, that being said, I don't think things would be any different even if his champion was looking for peaceful solutions. I believe Aeor would want Scott to take up arms against Xornoth and fight for him, to end the corruption once and for all.

Scott would be reluctant of course, torn between his god's wishes and helping his friends. so, maybe he does both - he'll try to help his friends find a cure for the demon but he'll also prepare for the inevitable final battle.

Shrub and her friends work tirelessly trying to find a cure, making several different potions, and each one Shrub takes home with her and gives them to Xornoth. they're reluctant to take the potions but they'll do anything for their gnome, even if it means turning their back on their god and giving up all the power Exor gifted them.

so, Xornoth tries every different potion given to them, even though not a single one has any effect on them, until all options are completely eliminated and the rulers run out of ideas. at that point in time, there is no other choice except war - war between the gods, between their champions, between people who were all once friends but are now on opposing sides.

maybe this is where Shrub breaks completely, at the moment when the others give up. maybe she begs them to keep trying - just one more potion, that's all we need, the next one will be the right one, I just know it, please keep trying, please don't give up yet, we have to keeping trying.

they'll question her on why she wants the demon cured so badly, they'll question despite knowing that she's only going to dodge every question asked.

but this time. this time Shrub doesn't dodge. this time, she stops giving vague answers and she stops telling lies that leave her with a pit in her stomach. this time, she breaks. this time, she tells them the truth. this time, she tells them the story of her life, her connection to the demon and how Xornoth is like a father to her - tending to her injuries, telling her stories, teaching her so many things, but most of all, loving her unconditionally.

she begs their forgiveness for lying to them for so long, begs them to help her find a cure for the only family she's ever known, begs them to not give up yet.

the other rulers would obviously be shocked, some might walk away feeling hurt and betrayed, some might come to Shrub and accept her as the child of the monster that plagues their lands. those that do accept her, they comfort her and she comforts them. they might all keep trying to make a cure, despite how hopeless it seems - they've already failed so many times, what more can they do?

Xornoth would have the same thoughts - what more can the rulers do? everything they tried, every potion made, has failed and it's just going to be more of the same. so, they make a decision, the demon seals their fate, the demon makes the call for war.

they go into the final battle reluctantly, knowing that there's only one true way to cure them and wishing that it didn't have to be with their death. they go into that battle hoping their little Shrub - their sweet, kind girl who showed them a better way of living - will be okay when they're gone. they know that her friends will be there for her so she should be okay, she can survive.

the two sides face off. no one wants to fight. Shrub, though she stands on the side of the rulers, is torn between her friends and her family. everyone there knows that the speeches given by the rulers of the Overworld are a poor attempt at staving off the inevitable.

Xornoth wants to be the one to throw the first punch, to get the ball rolling, get this fight done and over with, but they see their gnome, their beloved child, staring at them from across the battlefield, and she's crying. the battle hasn't even started and yet, she's mourning their death.

they don't attack. they stay their hand. they stand down. they move forward, hands up and open, free of any weapon, and walk gladly towards their demise. no one moves, all are still as the demon approaches, the usual sinister grin replaced by a grimace of heartache.

the demon stops before them, before their little Shrub and before the elf that looks so much like the brother they lost. Xornoth kneels at their feet, they say their parting words of love to their gnome, then they bow their head and tell Aeor's Champion to make it a quick death and please, if you could do me one favor, please don't let Shrub watch, please don't let her be here.

Shrub tries to go to her father's side, tries to beg them not to do this - there's still time, we can still find a way, please don't do this, please don't give up. Katherine and Gem hold her, embrace her in a way that her eyes are shielded from the bloodshed that's soon to come. they look to Scott, he's the one with the powers of a god that can rival the demon's darkness.

Scott is shaking where he stands but it's not from fear. he stands before the demon, above the monster that's terrorized his friends, and in his hands is the weapon that will strike the final blow and end everything. he had thought for a long time that Alinar was right in his actions, following the path Aeor laid out before him, banishing the only family he had to another world.

but standing here, knowing what he knows now about his friend Shrub, what he knows about himself as Aeor's Champion and about his past life as Alinar - he knows that Alinar made the wrong choice, he knows that there is a better way.

Scott, knowing that his next action is going to displease his god, drops the blessed weapon given to him and says - No. he kneels before the monster and says - You will not die today. he embraces the brother he never knew and says - We will find a cure.

this is where Aeor has a choice to make - enact justice on the crimes committed by Exor - or forgive his sins.

the Stag God follows his Champion's lead and chooses forgiveness. he stands before his own brother and chooses to end the war they've fought for eons.

with this, the corruption dies around them and Conal is freed. the demon melts away and an elf emerges from its remains. Conal embraces their brother come back to life and relishes in the life he's been gifted.

Shrub breaks free from her friends and practically crushes her family - both her father and Scott - with an embrace of her own. she cries enough tears for the both of them, though, Conal comes pretty close to out-crying their child.

and with that, the war is over, the demon is defeated, and the Overworld can live in peace once again.

[sukiitoru]

A mistake

Chapter one: ignorance

Chapter two: realization

Chapter three: monster

Chapter four: ancient

Chapter five: truth?

Chapter six: history

Chapter seven: family✵

Chapter eight: cure

(this will be a short series I haven't decided how many chapters yet but i hope you have a good time reading if you have any suggestions please tell me thank you for reading)

Mc is non-binary pronounce is they/them

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Solomon was in his study reading a book trying to find a cure for mc he was panicking when he found out about mc being under the effect of the potion

The potion was a very dangerous potion the magician who made the potion died from it's effects the cure was made by another magician after then the original book was stolen by someone he knew

A friend of his you could say and they ripped cure from the page and burned it why would they do that he never understood he never will anyways

He felt hands being put on his shoulder before wrapping around his neck someone pressing their head on his shoulder

He didn't panic the presence was familiar the black curly hair tickling his neck before he heard the voice of someone he hasn't met in years

"sol rest for a little bit you'll pass out if you stay like this for too long i already fixed your little human don't worry" the soft voice says Solomon sighed before leaning back in his chair holding the hand of his friend sighing when he feels their warmth on his back and shoulder

"ju....you do always come at the right time when i need you the most" Solomon says looking at the figure of his best friend baby blue eyes staring back at him the familiar blue dress and a black cape around their shoulder

"heh well your my best friend of course I'll know when you need me now go to bed or I'll use my magic on you" the woman says smiling softly at Solomon the man looked like he aged 20 years while searching for a cure for mc

"Julia where were you all of those years i searched for you i knew you were coming back when i saw that tiger you always had with you but where did you go did you know how worried i was about you" Solomon started to ramble holding Julia's hand while glaring at her the woman pouted before whining at the glare Solomon was giving her

"solllll shut up about that i was busy helping some friends in another place and i always send you letters with thirteen did she not give them to you?" Julia says looking at Solomon the man sighing softly leaning back in his chair closing his eyes this was giving him a headache a really big one too

"you look tired......come on let me tuck you in like when we were children i can sing you your favourite song too" Julia suggested pulling Solomon up from his bed pulling him to his bed pushing him softly to sit down pulling a chair for herself before sitting down looking at Solomon waiting for him to answer

"......are you really here or is this just me in a really nice dream......i hope this dream never ends" Solomon says starting at the woman who was like a sister to him they felt like they were twins sometimes they were always together they were inseparable Julia started to get distant before completely disappearing he searched everywhere he couldn't find her

He thought she was dead he was convinced that she was dead he would dream sometimes of her standing beside him holding his hand before disappearing again

Being immortal and watching everyone he knew and loved die he held into the only thing that was always by his side which was Julia she was his best friend his sister his only family

"I'm here sol i promise you I'm never leaving your side again I'm so sorry....." The woman says hugging Solomon tightly being the older one and having to take care of Solomon she knew how much she worried him but if she had things to do now she's here to stay she won't leave his side

"i missed you ju...." Solomon says hanging tightly into the back oh Julia's dress the woman rubbing his head softly using her magic to make him fall asleep she knew he wouldn't go to bed he'll question everything she did in the past years

Solomon can be annoying like that she knew he was worried but for now he needs all the rest he can get

"now time to clean this mess" Julia says staring at the very messy room sighing softly before getting up and covering Solomon with his blanket kissing his head and starting to clean his room

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A little girl was walking through the forest gathering herbs for her sick mother

The little girl had short black hair and baby blue eyes wearing a blue dress and a black cape that her mother made her

The little was humming a song that her mother sang for her swinging the basket that she held in her hand gently

Noticing a tuff of white hair in the middle of a flower field the girl tilts her head at the white in the middle of the grass and flower filled field

The girl walks towards the tuff of hair looking down baby blue eyes clashing with blue and brown gradient eyes

A loud yelp shocked the girl a little boy getting away his back touching a tree the girl tilting her head in confusion

The boy looked down starting to fidget with his hands nervously his hands filled with scars from the thorns on the flowers he was playing with before

The little girl got closer and sat down infront of the boy taking hold of his hands using a simple healing spell that her mother thought her

"there we go do you want me to kiss it? Mommy does that for me when i get hurt" the girl says tugging on the boy's hands eyes shining excitedly

"no..... it's okay...." The boy says quietly pulling his hands away nervously looking at his hands they were completely healed

"my name is Julia mommy calls me ju what about you?" The little girl asks holding the boy's hand again

"I'm Solomon you can call me sol...." The boy says softly the girl smiling widely before getting up and pulling the boy up with her

"how about you come meet my mommy? We can eat cookies together" the girl says tugging on the boy's hand jumping up and down her basket in her other hand

"umm i would like that......." The boy says softly blushing looking down at his feet

The girl squeals excitedly pulling the boy with her starting to walk towards the little cottage that she lives in with her mother the boy struggling to keep up with her but running after her anyways

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Thank you for reading this all support is highly appreciated 💙

This is my writing please don't repost copy or claim as your own

[odd-birds-and-booksellers]

“Alex…” Jo interrupts, her hand slowly curing round his, the one resting on her bump. He can feel his lips trembling as the tears he’d fought so hard to keep at bay begin to fall. 

"I put glow in the dark stars up.” He whispered. "So she can't be dead."

On one of the rare occasions, Alex and Jo’s days off don’t coincide, Alex finds himself wishing for a six-hour surgery, hell he’d rather be removing splinters than deciding between lemon sherbet and soft daffodil. To say he was excited about the impending arrival of their second child would be an understatement but completing the ridiculously long list Jo had left him to do this morning before rushing off with Robin felt more like torture.

He understood though, with only two months to go everything seemed to pile up on them, the quiet calm they had mistaken for panic when Robin was on the way paled in comparison when they were trying to juggle two full time demanding careers, a new puppy, a new baby and a toddler whose main goal in life seemed to be giving his parents a heart attack with the many hiding places he could find.

And this is how Alex found himself staring into the abyss of a million Amazon boxes that Jo had somehow managed to sneak by him, with various shades of yellow paint cans dotted around.

He understood Jo’s desire to make everything perfect, she’d been that way since she’d stepped out of the loft bathroom over two years ago, her hands shaking as she lifted the test towards him clearly displaying two lines. He swears they both had good intentions when Robin was born, he wouldn’t be spoiled, there wouldn't be gifts that make up for missing birthdays or missing bedtimes, they’d be honest about mommy and daddy having to work hard for everything they have and yet they couldn’t seem to stop themselves, because the luxury of giving their son and now their daughter everything they’d never had brought more happiness to Jo and Alex then maybe their children would ever understand. There could never be a single second their children doubted how loved and wanted they truly were, so it didn’t matter if their daughter would be in with them for the first few months, her room had to be finished before she arrived.

Their daughter...he smiles at the mere thought of her, their daughter, who likes to kick when their reading Robins bedtime stories, or plays the guitar on Jo’s rib cage until Alex sings along softly with her in the early hours of the morning, their daughter who’d refused to make herself seen for the first two scans.

It’s only when Alex finishes the last coat of soft daffodil that he hears the faint ringing of his phone above the radio. Shuffling down the ladder he wipes the back of his hand on his shirt as he hears the familiar ringtone sound again making Alex frown as he manages to navigate his way through the maze of boxes he's built around himself.

There’s a slight twitch in his chest as he begins down the stairs hearing his phone fall quiet only to start up again seconds later. He finds it still plugged in by the coffee machine where he’d left it, glancing at the screen to see he had twelve missed calls and three voicemails.

There's a definite twitch in his chest now as he clicks play on Jo's first voicemail, his lips twitching up at the sound of Robin's singing. They sounded like they were still in the car as Jo listed off a few more things she needed him to do.

"Hey, sorry I know you said not to go overboard but there are two more deliveries coming today so make sure to listen out for them and oh oh...if you get a chance to go grocery shopping we need...well we need pretty much everything but get me those cupcakes with the oranges on them and oh erm..." She paused after taking a slightly heavy breath. "I do not feel great today, maybe I can get someone to take over my surgeries. Oh and don’t forget to get the box of baby clothes down from the attic will you...okay... I love you, Alex, I’ll call you later."

He frowned quickly, bypassing the message Meredith had left, assuming it was whatever love triangle tragedy she had that day. He finds Jo's second message. There was no greeting to this one, only Jo's panicked voice.

"Why aren’t you answering the phone Alex? What’s the point of having one if you don’t ever answer it?”

His phone beeped again, signalling another message had been left, this time from Meredith again.

"Alex, where the hell are you? You need to be here now. I don't know if Jo is trying not to worry you but Carina is having her admitted so get over here before I leave work and drag you here myself.”

He felt his heart begin to drop in his chest as he hit replay, trying to piece together what was happening. Before he even knew it his feet were carrying him towards the front door, keys in hand as he rushed out. His entire mind had narrowed in on one simple need: to get to Jo.

He couldn't think of much else as he drove, he doesn’t even remember his route to the hospital he just remembers being at home and then bursting through the doors of Grey Sloan. He was severely out of breath by the time he caught sight of Meredith outside the maternity ward talking quietly with Bailey.

The best thing about Meredith, and what made her excel as a doctor, was that she was damn good in a crisis. So she knew the minute their eyes met that Alex just needed Jo. As soon as he’s within reach she wraps an arm around his shoulder—which felt way too much like condolences for Alex's liking and leads him through the doors where Carina was already waiting. This had to be a mistake. Jo was fine last night. Their daughter was fine last night. He’d felt her kicking as they’d talked. They’d talked about his mom's upcoming visit, and maybe going to see Amber and her family for Christmas or inviting them here.

"—I know. It's awful." Carina mutters her eyes on Jo's chart. The intern beside her nodded in agreement.

"I hope Dr Karev shows up before the ultrasound. She shouldn't have to deal with that alone." The intern responds.

“He’s here,” Carina whispers as she looks up, hearing Alex and Meredith footsteps as she tucks the chart under her arm. “If you can go set up the ultrasound while I talk to him.”

"Of course."

Alex gulps at the sorrow on Carina’s face as she steps closer, it's all too much for him as he averts his gaze down to the floor, his eyes catching on the silver band around his finger, splattered with yellow paint from earlier.

"What's going on?" Alex asks, hearing his voice crack as Meredith drops her hand from his back.

"Alex, you need to take a breath and pull yourself together because right now Jo needs you.”

He doesn't respond to Mer, doesn't even look at her as he raises his gaze back towards Carina, “What’s going on?” He repeats, his voice lower this time.

"Jo's in premature labour. She mentioned a couple of hours ago that she had some pretty bad Braxton Hicks, but then she timed them and they were too close together and too regular. So she paged me, and when I checked her cervix had already begun to open-”

Alex found himself nodding along but Carina’s words soon faded to quiet buzz in his ears. His fingers are already twitching to hold Jo. This couldn’t be happening, not to them. Not now.

"Okay." He whispers his voice dangerously low as he blinks back tears, desperately trying to pull himself together when everything in him was burning. Please don’t do this, please don’t take her from us, please don’t do this to her . He can feel his nails digging into the palm of his hand, the only way he's sure he’s still alive is the dull pain he feels as he takes a deep breath gathering himself slowly. Suddenly his doctor brain kicks in as he begins to ask what they are doing to fix this, listing everything he knew like he wasn’t surrounded by some of the best doctors he knew.

Carina nods, her words still buzzing in Alex’s head as she explains the past couple of hours, Jo’s contractions stopped an hour ago, her cervix hasn't opened any further.

“We’re just waiting to do an ultrasound...it really needs to be done right away.”

“Right...what's the problem then?”

“She’s refusing Alex, won't let anyone near her.”

Alex shakes his head, that's not true. Jo wouldn’t...she would never do anything that could harm their baby. She wouldn’t refuse medical care. He watches as Meredith shoots another look to Carina who sighs, tilting her head in a way that has Alex’s heart dropping into his stomach. “I tried earlier with the stethoscope to find the heartbeat...and was unsuccessful.”

"Alex, do you understand? We couldn't find a heartbeat. Dr DeLuca tried and I did too. Even Jo tried...now she’s refusing the ultrasound, she won’t let anyone touch her."

The childish reaction was quick and automatic. "Maybe you didn’t try hard enough, you didn’t do it right, okay? You know you should check properly.”

Carina took a deep breath. "Alex, I'm sorry. I’m going to do an ultrasound, of course, but…I don't know. It's usually easy to hear it with a stethoscope at twenty-eight weeks. Intrauterine deaths happen and there's not much—"

He felt like he couldn't breathe. His hand was clutching at his chest trying to feel the air filling his lungs but he couldn’t feel a thing as everything went fuzzy again. "Stop. Just shut up. You don’t know Jo. You don’t know our…"

"I'm so, so, s o sorry, Alex," Mer whispered. "I know how much you wanted her."

He felt his eyes burning. "I still want her. And you're wrong because I just felt her kick last night. She was kicking when I sang—she always does that. She does. So she can't be dead."

He chokes on his words. “She’s not...dead.”

There’s a quiet discussion mainly between Carina and Meredith who seems to be answering for Alex as they both guide him towards a door at the end of the corridor:

He has to stand outside the door for a full minute as he tries to get a hold of himself. He doesn’t want his face to show how truly scared he is at this moment.

When he does finally gather himself enough to step into the room he notices how the curtains were pulled, blocking almost all of the sunlight from the otherwise dark room. Jo was curled up onto her side, her entire body tucked protectively around Robin's sleeping frame. She hadn't even lifted her head or made a move to turn when the door shut behind Alex, and that terrified him so deeply that he couldn't even move. It had all suddenly gotten very real.

He walked slowly around the bed so he could see her face, he needed to meet her eyes or he’d never believe any of this was true. But as he rounded the bed he was met with her blank stare, blinking slowly as she took in his form.

"Robin needs to go home. I don't want him to have to see any more of this." She said quietly. She made no move to speak about what was going on. She was emotionless and it terrified him. Suddenly flashbacks of the first time he’d ever seen her look so shut down came to mind. When she’d first met her biological mother. When she’d shut down and left him out in the cold. He wasn’t sure he could survive it back then, he’d needed her so much but now he was certain he’d never survive without her.

Alex turned his focus to his son, who was asleep with his face scrunched up against Jo’s chest, his chubby hands resting on the swell of her stomach.

"I can get Mer to take him home with her." He told Jo quietly, he couldn't find any other words to say, it seemed neither could she.

Jo just nods in response but makes no effort to move. Alex could tell by her hand curling tighter around Robin's back that she wasn’t quite ready to let him go yet.

He’s not sure how much time passes next, as he takes a seat carefully on the edge of the bed. Reaching out gingerly to run his hands softly across Jo's cheek. And it’s in that moment when their eyes meet, his thumb tracing the already dried tear tracks down her face that they break. She lifts her right arm gathering a handful of his shirt tightly pulling him closer, pressing her cheek against his chest so she could hear his steady heartbeat. She doesn't say anything and for a second she’s silent before the sob she must’ve been holding back erupts from her and Alex can feel the tears begin to soak through his T-shirt. He feels powerless, all he can do is keep a steady arm wrapped around his wife holding her tightly to him. That was what hurt him the most about this. He couldn't do anything to take her pain away. He couldn’t fix this.

“Jo…Jo Carina is waiting to do an ultrasound…we need…we need to be sure.” Alex sighs trying to keep his tears at bay as she continues to shake in his arms. “Why won’t you let her help?”

"I didn't want anyone else." She finally admits, loosening her grip enough that he can see her face, her lips trembling as she speaks. The sight alone sends another sharp stab through Alex’s heart. "I didn't want anyone. I wanted you. I wanted—I wanted you to make it better."

Alex nods, wishing with everything in him that he could make any of this better. He lets out a shaky breath as Jo settles back down so her head was resting on his chest, her face pressing into his collarbone. He knows it is selfish, he knows it might kill them both but he can’t help reaching out over Robin's little body and pressing his hand to her stomach. He waits a moment…before pressing again, still waiting to feel the usual response. He hears Jo's breath hitch as she too waits for the little nudge of their daughter's feet, he knows she’s usually responded by now but he waits, he just keeps waiting. He thinks sort of him will always be waiting for that little kick…he thinks this moment might be frozen in time. Not us. This happens to people, but not us. Maybe it wasn’t fair to think like that, after all, every day he sees the worst card parents could ever be handed in life and yet he says the same lines about support groups and doing everything he could and not once did he think he’d ever need to hear those words.

He doesn’t know how long he keeps his hand there just waiting. "I just finished painting the nursery. I went with soft daffodils but if you prefer lemon sherbet we can change it…we can pick whatever colour you want, and I know I said we didn’t need a new crib but if you want that fancy one we’ll-“

“Alex…” Jo interrupts, her hand slowly curling around his own on her bump. He can feel his own lips trembling as the tears he’d fought so hard to keep at bay begin to fall.

"I put glow in the dark stars up.” He whispered. "So she can't be dead."

There’s no logic to what he said. There’s no truth to his reasoning but he believes it. Jo winces at his words or more likely one word in particular. He feels her drag his hand down to where Robin's tiny hands rest, a little reminder of what they still have.

Alex moves closer to them, pulling Robin gently onto his chest, sliding over and opening his arms for Jo. Letting her sink into him. She rests against him like she no longer has the strength to hold herself up.

“I'm sorry. I thought it was nothing more than Braxton Hicks. Can you believe that? I’m a freaking doctor and I couldn’t tell the difference between Braxton hicks and labour. I should have known better. I did this. This is my fault—"

Alex cuts her off, shushing her. "It's not your fault," he assures her. Life was unfair. He knew that. But this pain Jo didn’t deserve. Not his children. Not Robin. Not their new little girl with the stars on her ceiling. Not his family. They hadn't built this together for it to be broken.

"Please don't cry," she pleaded, her voice wavering. "Please don't, it terrifies me. I'm already so scared, Alex. I'm so scared."

Alex just nods, swallowing deeply as he pulls her tighter against his side. It was true that everything had changed once he'd had children. He no longer understood how he had lived without them. And he was realizing that everything he gained could be taken just as easily. He knew that, if this baby really were gone, there would be nothing he could do to ever fix the pain that would settle in Jo's heart or his own for that matter.

He feels Robin begin to stir against him and he forces a smile on his face and kisses his head, smiling genuinely when the little one lifts his arms, reaching out for his father in an instant.

"Daddy” He cheered, his little fists gripping Alex’s T-shirt as he shifted him higher up his chest. He settles his palm on the back of his head and kisses his head again.

"Robin, how would you feel about playing with Ellis, Bailey and Zola tonight?" He asks him carefully.

Robin is as stubborn as his mother. "Scout?" He suggests instead.

"Yeah okay, we can see if Uncle Link will take you. You can play with Scout and then mommy and daddy will see you when you wake up." He knows Robin has no real clue on what’s happening around him but he knew Jo had been right. He didn't need to be here.

Robin lifts his head and peers down at Jo. He seemed to be thinking hard about the proposition before shaking his head fiercely.

"No."

No was his new favourite word and Alex was already sick of hearing it. He strokes his hair back as he meets eyes with Jo. Her tears are still falling steadily. Her hands spread out over her stomach and he knew she was waiting to feel something still.

"No, I want mommy," Robin insists. His little face mustering up what Alex assumed was a scowl as he reached over to wrap his hand around one of Jo's curls hanging loose in front of her face. Alex didn’t have it in him to battle Robin today, it’s not like he wanted to let go of Jo either.

They were out of time to decide what to do about Robin because Carina was already wheeling in the ultrasound. Jo tensed beside him, her hand gripping his tightly as he rose from his place on the bed lifting Robin with him.

"I can't. Please." She whispers and if possible his heart cracked even more.

She was hanging on by a thin thread, but she was hanging onto him. They could survive this…they could survive it together. He lifts Robin higher up his chest, gently cradling Robin's head to his shoulder as the little one's legs wrapped around him.

Alex stared at the swell of Jo’s stomach, the same stomach he'd kissed just last night and singing old country songs much to Jo's amusement. There was no way…there was no way she was…he’d just finished her room…the paint was still wet. Her name is written in stars above her crib. She can’t be.

Alex didn't even realize he was crying until Carina flashes him a sympathetic smile. Robin lifts his head as he squirms in his fathers’ tight grip, peering up at him with a frown. Reaching out to touch his cheeks with his small hands.

"Daddy sad?” He whispers curiously. Alex was torn because there’s no way of explaining this to their toddler and he doesn't want to scare him. Instead, he settles for pressing him back against his chest, his little face squeezed against his neck because while he didn’t want him to watch he also couldn’t bear to let him go.

He watches as Carina helps Jo to sit up. It was too much to watch, the way her whole body shakes as her cries shook through her. He reached for her hand, laying limp by her side, his hand covering hers as he threaded their fingers together. She squeezes his hand back, gripping onto him like he was the only thing stopping her from coming undone. Her hand in his gave him a spark of hope that maybe no matter what happened next they’d make it together, as long they just kept holding on.

He almost dropped Robin in paralyzing relief when the familiar whooshing of the heartbeat filled the room. He lets out a cry of relief as he shakes his head. Alex presses his face back into Robin's hair and squeezes Jo's hand tightly, his heart still pounding away.

"Why wasn't she moving?" Jo asks, her voice hoarse. "I tried everything and she wouldn't move. And why couldn't you find it before?"

"Babies don't move much if at all during labour," Carina explained. "And I don't know. I listened for such a long time.” Once again Alex’s mind blocks out the surrounding noise until it’s a quiet buzz. Instead, he focuses on the image of their baby girl on the screen, the feel of Robin's hot breath against his neck and Jo's hand still clutching his tightly. His family. He’s had these images ever since they’d decided to try for a second…maybe even longer, before Robin, before he and Jo had even got married he’d had this whole dream…Jo, their kids and the house they’d live in and the life they’d live. “But you'll have to be on strict bed rest for the rest of this pregnancy, and even then there's no way to know how long you can prolong labour. If we can keep her from being born for at least a month she’ll be in a much better position."

He comes back down to reality when he feels Jo tug at his hand, she’s looking up at him expectantly. “There’s our girl,” He whispers, leaning closer, pressing a quiet kiss to her hair, not even glancing at Carina as she backs out of the room to give them a moment.

"What if I have to give birth soon?" She mumbled into his shirt. "What if we lose her anyway?"

He shook his head firmly. "We won't.”

He kisses her forehead and glances down at Robin before turning back to Jo. She was looking at him with that look. The one that communicated very clearly that she trusted him with everything in her.

Alex set his hands on her stomach and let out another relieved breath.

"God." He said quietly. She set her hand over his and caressed the back of his hand with her thumb.

Jo's expression twists with guilt. "I’m so sorry...this is all my fault. I've been overworking myself. I always think I can do so much more than I can and our girl is suffering because of it. Maybe I'm not fit to be a mother."

Alex shook his head. "If you're not fit to be a mother, Jo, no one is. Hell, you know what an unfit parent looks like and you are not one."

She opens her mouth to say something else, but abruptly she stops, her eyes widening slightly in surprise. Her expression goes from shock to joy in no time at all as she grabs his hands gently and moves them back to her stomach, pressing down lightly. Alex feels a familiar, returning nudge, gentle and soft, but definitely there. He laughs giddily and locks eyes with Jo, pleased when she laughs in return. He moves around the bed, leaning over Jo so he could press a kiss to the spot he'd last felt the nudge. He keeps his cheek pressed against her soft skin for a moment, whispering a quiet ‘I love you.’ before looking back at Jo’s teary gaze.

"Robin, come here. Come feel your sister." He tells the toddler. Alex tugs him up into his lap and helps guide his hand to the spot he'd just kissed. He applies slight pressure and laughs at the joyous giggle Robin gives when he feels the baby move underneath his hand.

"That's your little sister."

Robin looked up at her father and smiled but the tiny movements didn’t keep his attention for long as he began to climb out of Alex’s grip, into Jo's welcoming arms.

“It’s gonna be okay Jo. We’re gonna be okay.”

Jo looks up at him. Tears still trailing down her face but the sparkle missing from her gaze earlier was slowly making its way back.

He smiles gently, reaching out to cup her face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs softly over the wet trails her tears left. "Everything’s gonna be okay.” He promised. "You'll see."

And she did. A little over two months later their baby girl made her entrance into the world, a little less dramatic than her brother as she’d been monitored so closely, that it was no surprise when she decided to join everyone. With her brown eyes sparkling with the same warmth as her mother’s and a full head of hair she was every little bit perfect as Alex had imagined. A little taste of heaven.

“Hey, baby…welcome home.” Alex grinned as he pulled open the door to the nursery, ushering in Robin who proudly displayed the teddy he’d chosen for his baby sister as Jo slowly made her way inside. She’d been too afraid to step inside since the incident, she claimed it would jinx it.

“Oh wow…” She hummed happily looking down at the bundle in her arms, who as predicted was still asleep and had no understanding of the magnitude of the moment happening around her. “Aren’t you a lucky girl P?”

“Mommy… I see…you sit.” Robin yelps, pulling Jo from the bottom of her cardigan towards the new rocking chair set up in the corner. Jo is all too happy to take a seat, allowing Robin to catch sight of his baby sister.

“It’s perfect Alex…Thank you.” Jo mumbles after a minute, catching Alex’s eye who had taken the moment to settle against the door frame and just watch his family.

He smiles softly, before pushing up off the frame heading towards the window. “You haven’t seen the best bit.” He pulls the blinds down slowly, letting darkness take over the room leaving only the glowing stars for light.

Robin gasped as he looked around in wonder but Jo's eyes remained trained on Alex. “I love you.” She whispers.

“I love you.” Alex grins, kneeling down beside the chair as he runs his hand across their daughter's head. “I love you all…now look up.”

Tilting her head, Jo looked up at the ceiling and gasped. The stars trailed up the wall and right above the crib, they clustered together, spelling out their dear daughter's name.

Peyton.

-

Yes. This is a day late. But it's also very on-brand for me so.

This one-shot is part of the What Could've Been universe so if you haven't read them I would thoroughly recommend reading them, you find them all under my master post on Tumblr.

Also, I made all the medical crap up, so don't come for me with corrections...I don't care.