#I genuinely have no idea what triggered this
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Not to make a post about the parallels between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Supernatural in the year of our lord 2025, but that's exactly what I'm about to do so strap in.
The similarities between Angel and Castiel's situations are kinda impossible to miss. Besides their biggest similarity (which I'll get to in a moment), both of them are introduced to the series as mysterious and morally questionable supporting characters who pop in and out giving advice before integrating into the main story and cast due to a close relationship with the protagonist. Clearer than any of that though is their shared curse: experience a moment of true happiness, and something terrible will happen. Angel will lose his soul and Castiel will get dragged to superhell. Luckily, both of them are immortal guilt machines who excel at repression, so it takes a while for either of those curses to activate. For Angel it happens after he and Buffy have sex in season two, and I think we all know the basics of Castiel's confession to Dean in season fifteen. What I think is so interesting is that both of them have "true happiness" triggered by an expression of romantic love, but they kinda fall on such opposite ends of the spectrum that they wrap around to being the same.
For Castiel, "happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being," and literally just telling Dean that he loves him is his definition of happiness, because he's letting go of his fears and repression and simply allowing himself to feel and express his affection. Additionally, he believes that through this confession and summoning the Empty he will be saving Dean's life, so he's happy that his love can protect others. Angel on the other hand gets his moment of happiness through the most traditional example of love being fulfilled. While it's easy to joke about sex turning him evil, I'd like to point out that he doesn't lose his soul mid sex or even directly afterwards; he wakes up in the middle of the night to dramatically turn evil in the rain. It wasn't just sex, it was the intimacy of having sex with someone he loves and falling asleep next to her. Either way, we get two apparently distinct triggers: romantic words and romantic actions.
The thing that I find so fascinating about Angel's situation in particular is that he is totally able to date Buffy and say he loves her and stuff. Before he loses his soul and after he gets it back they're openly a couple and he's not even subtle about how down bad he is for her. Looping back to Castiel, it's an almost direct parallel to his idea of the difference between "having" and "being" in regards to happiness. Angel doesn't get pure happiness from having a relationship with Buffy because even when they're together he isn't really letting himself be in the moment. They make a big deal in season three about how they can't have sex because it would risk triggering Angel's curse, but I genuinely think that he'd be too afraid of losing his soul to actually experience that simple happiness with her, even if they did have sex. Like I pointed out earlier, it's about emotional intimacy more than physical intimacy, and after learning exactly how much damage he can do without his soul, Angel will not let himself be fully emotionally intimate with anyone (even if his romantic relationship with Buffy is pretty good and healthy given the circumstances).
Castiel has seemingly been aware of his romantic feelings towards Dean for a long time, but he's so focused on keeping his emotions hidden that he wouldn't let himself feel any actual joy in regards to that relationship. He was clearly happy with Dean, but his feelings were always tempered with grief until he realized that genuinely expressing himself and his love could help rather than harm. While Angel got happiness from a moment of reciprocation, Castiel didn't need to hear Dean's response because he was happy just openly admitting his feelings.
I just think it's neat how in both cases it's not having a romantic relationship with their beloved that actually causes true happiness, it's emotional honesty with themselves and the people around them. The romantic words are important for Castiel opening up about his feelings towards Dean, and the romantic actions are important for Angel accepting Buffy's feelings towards him.
#i just started season four of buffy and i must make posts to cope with angel leaving the show#i miss him but not enough to watch his spinoff#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs#angel btvs#buffy summers#buffyverse#bangel#supernatural#spn#castiel#dean winchester#destiel#deancas#anyways yeah i've been binging buffy and then had a collective destiel moment with my friends in celebration of dean's birthday#so the parallels are attacking me
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Helly: Trauma, Resistance, and Reintegration
I have Thoughts™️ and I needed to write them down. There’s a lot of ground to cover, but I tried to make this as straightforward and organized as I could.
S2E2 spoilers below the cut:
Before Goodbye, Mrs. Selvig, I was having a hard time discerning who I thought was really down there. To me, there were a few options:
Helena, full stop.
Helly pre-animation and Helena post-animation (as if they’d externally switched Helly off/Helena on).
And a secret third thing that I liked most but never mentioned to anyone.
The secret third thing is still my current front-runner:
There's a reason viewers are struggling to discern who is who right now, and I think that's because Helena is, too.
I think Helena is who we’re looking at, but Helly is also present somewhere (clawing her way to the surface, as Reghabi had put it). I think it’s possible Helly/Helena might reintegrate naturally, or that Helly has created an irreversible bleed between their psyches.
The main reason? They share a traumatic memory. One that is intrinsically tied to both of their identities.
For organization, I’ll break up the bulk of this by Hello, Ms. Cobel scenes.
ELEVATOR LOBBY:
Helly is the one who hung herself, but that elevator went up. The doors opened, and the guard’s desk was empty. Helena is the one struggling in the security footage. It’s very possible she is the one who passed out.
If this is the case, it means Helly holds the memory of being rescued. Helena does not.
As far as we know: the last time Helena was in that elevator, she was dying. And the last time Mark S. was in that elevator, he was dying. That’s why Mark wakes up scared, and that’s why Helena runs out.
I wonder how Helly felt every time she woke up in the elevator after returning from the hospital. I wonder if Helena’s panic and dread was in some way tangible to her.
I’m not certain of much with this show, but I do, at least, feel pretty sure we’re about to see a scene or implication of Helena having a panic attack/flashback as she descends. I also wouldn’t be surprised if they stopped the elevator momentarily, masked as a mechanical blip, to prolong it as subtle a form of psychological torture.
She ran out struggling to breathe, just like Helly had when she woke up upon returning after her attempt.
The constant between those two moments? Mark S.
Honestly, I imagine Helena wasn’t expecting anyone kind to be waiting for her at the bottom. Would she have any reason to?
Jame Eagan: I cried in my bed when they told me what she tried to do to you. What that innie tried to do.
I don’t know what was going on for Jame when he received news of her suicide attempt — if there was a reason for him crying in bed, if they didn’t let him see her — but personally, I’m halfway out the door after news like that. Given how he talked to her during the gala, it seemed like that was the first time they’d seen each other since.
If this was the case, it’s very possible Helena was alone during her recovery. No emotional support from anyone close to her… if anyone can even be considered close to her to begin with.
Is there anyone who truly cares about her? In her mind, why would there be someone at the bottom of that elevator, waiting to see if she’s okay?
And suddenly, in the midst of what I’m guessing is sheer survival panic, she is being hugged. And the person hugging her sounds so relieved to see her physically unharmed.
I personally think that’s why she hesitated before hugging Mark back. I think she was triggered and processing and didn't know what to make of it. I don’t know if she’s ever experienced someone genuinely caring about her safety and well-being before.
To Mark, she’s not Helena Eagan. He has no idea who the fuck that is. In that moment, she is Helly — and somehow, that innie is enough for him.
When Helly came back after the attempt, Mark already knew she was physically okay, and he wasn’t particularly comforting because he was following Milchick’s “kind eyes” advice. But when Helena returned, he was completley unfiltered and himself. There was probably some part of his outie bleeding through in that moment, too, because he has specific trauma with losing someone he cares about.
I truly think he helped ground her, and he might be the first and only person who’s ever done that.
MDR OFFICE:
I don’t have much to say here, other than I was torn on who I was looking at in this scene.
Reason being: I just find her expression when realizes Irving is breaking down in the bathroom so sincere. Some of our most vulnerable moments with Helena so far have taken place in a bathroom, and it’s also where Helly seems to retreat when she’s stressed. I don’t think that’s by accident. To me, her expression here doesn’t seem forced or irrelevant.
If her concern is authentic on some level, maybe it’s because she didn’t expect to see MDR genuinely care for the well-being of another team member. Maybe she thought they were only united in their hate for Lumon and nothing more. Maybe some part of Helly is with her now, worried about Irving, whether she knows it or not.
I think, maybe, MDR will show Helena what family is supposed to look like.
HALLWAY – MDR:
Helly R: They replaced us? Mark S: For a couple days. Dylan G: Who was me? Mark S: They weren't, like, specific counterparts. They were, I don't know, weird. Dylan G: Okay, well, I don’t think you should feel bad at all. Mark S: Feel bad? Dylan G: Yeah, for ending their lives. Fuck 'em. Mark S: Well, I wasn't trying to– Dylan G: No, dude, I'm saying don't feel bad. Like, I'm sure they deserved it.
This could just be my read, but Helena’s expression during this conversation looks like she’s genuinely processing the implications of what Dylan is saying. He talks about the other innie’s deaths so casually, like it’s just another day in the office. Spatially, she’s also standing at the center of this exchange. I think it’s possible Helena had never really viewed quitting/firing as innies dying or being killed by Lumon. If this is how innies perceive it, would that mean that Helly (an extension of herself) is dead? If so, who killed her?
This brings me to Ms. Huang; the new hire leading them down the hallway in that scene.
Why is a child there?
Well, for one, Dylan fucking bit Milchick. I imagine they chose a child to help prevent something like that again. In order to physically attack his superior, Dylan will have to be okay with attacking a child. Dylan G. has met one of his children, so he's not going to hurt her. Mr. Milchick knows this and weaponizing it.
Which relates to the other reason I was having trouble discerning who Helena was in this scene: the look she exchanges with Ms. Huang. They show each innie making eye contact with her as they enter the hallway to the break room. To me, Helena’s expression seemed to match everyone else's. Surely, they all suspect Ms. Huang’s role is to be Milchick’s human shield. I think they might have been studying her, trying to figure out if she knows this, too.
Theoretically, in order to get to him, they will have to go through her. And if they ever do something to get Ms. Huang fired, she will die.
This means Lumon is not above killing children.
Which means, maybe, Lumon is not above killing Helena.
I also think this angle makes the ring toss game Ms. Huang plays when Milchick shuts the door on her especially interesting. Kier Eagan is underwater, with his hands tied, and she…smiles. This is obviously a parallel to the pineapple bobbing, but I think it might also be a parallel to Helena. Perhaps she’s not supposed to be playing this game and saved it for when Milchick wasn’t looking. The first hint of rebellion in Ms. Huang, a child enslaved by Eagans, and a possible shift in power at some point.
LUMON IS LISTENING:
My theory about her being Helly pre-animation and Helena post-animation was based on the fact that she seems to dissociate after the animation ends. She stares off and blinks in an irregular pattern, then sort of widens her eyes at Milchick before composing herself.
But this also supported my secret third thing: that she and Helly are somehow internally at odds. So much of what Helena is experiencing right now aligns with what dissociation can feel like: watching the events of her life happen outside of herself, either through Helly’s actions on video or the consequences of them.
Mr. Milchick: Maybe I'll even buy you a drink at a bistro one day.
I’ve been so fixated on Helena’s expression when Milchick says this. Because he says it very pointedly to her, in that calm, threatening, Milkshake-y way. And she looks genuinely unsettled. Scared, even.
Helena will never really be able to leave. She will never be free. She had been Helly's lifeline, but that lifeline is gone.
It’s clear many of the new perks, if not all, are form of punishment or torture. It looks like they made a special point to animate genuine fear in Helly’s eyes during the pineapple bobbing.
Between Ms. Huang, pineapple bobbing, and Milchick’s little comment, Helena must know she’s just as much a prisoner down here as the others. Maybe pineapple bobbing targets one of her fears specifically. Like, I don’t know... not being able to breathe.
It’s also worth noting that Helly, in Helena’s body, has been psychologically tortured in this very room. I imagine that, paired with the threat of physical torture, would be triggering and could lead to dissociation.
The setting brings me to my next point:
This might just be my read, but to me, she looked genuinely surprised when Mark said his wife was Ms. Casey. I think it’s possible she might not have known Mark’s connection to her, or that Mark’s wife and Ms. Casey are the same person.
I can’t even begin to guess what the fuck Lumon does or what the hell Cold Harbor is meant to do (I don’t want to guess, I want to be along for the ride). But is it possible Helena doesn’t know the specifics of the file? Could knowing the details have risked hindering her own ability to refine data as Helly? Maybe Mark was presented to her as Ms. Casey’s close friend. An in-law. Something-not-husband.
Helena knows they need Mark, but does she know exactly why?
Dylan G: Come on, man. You can tell us. Helly R: Yeah, it's okay. Even if it's bad.
To me, there’s at least some layer to authenticity when she says this to Irving. Maybe it’s Helly bleeding through, or maybe it’s because Helena knows Irving has done something in the past (maybe something he's not supposed to or doesn’t want to remember) and feels guilty. This could also indicate why she might have genuinely sympathized with him when he was breaking down in the bathroom.
I’m not sure it matters if she’s saying “bad” as herself or acting as Helly. The point is: it needs to be said. It’s what Helly would say if she were here. Which means that, even on some superficial level, Helena is forced to voice the fact that what they’re doing at Lumon is wrong.
I also don’t think it’s an accident that Helena says this in the break room. The room that Helly, in her body, was psychologically tortured and forced to atone in.
Dylan G: What you gotta do is trick the machine by thinking about something you’re really sorry about...
Helena likely already carries a lot of guilt and shame for what she and her family have done to the world. I’m honestly not sure how much she’ll have to be radicalized by what she sees down there, or if she needs to be radicalized at all. I imagine anything she might potentially do in allegiance to Lumon is a guise, or self-preservation and nothing more. But I think that, as she gets to know MDR, that instinct will be overshadowed by Helly’s burning desire to help others and fuck shit up.
Helly had nothing to lose when she was down there. Now, neither does she.
All this to say, I think Helena is dissociating and struggling to stay grounded in herself after the animation ends. Her family’s company just threatened her directly, in a room she's technically already been tortured in. She knows she is not immune to whatever might happen down here. I think shit just got very, very real for her.
Irving also immediately tries to “kill himself” after this scene, not unlike Helly attempting suicide after her first trip to the break room. And he does this because he finds out the person he loves is with someone else, which Helena has just discovered about Mark. I'd say the parallels between Helly/Helena and Irving are worth keeping an eye on.
HALLWAY – MARK:
Honestly? I don’t think Helena knows what the fuck to do with Mark at this point. Helly has kissed him, he’s married, his wife is (or was?) here, and now she is too. I’m guessing she doesn’t know how to navigate romance in a normal context, so I really don’t think that she knows how to navigate whatever the fuck this is.
It’s implied that Helena might never have experienced much romantic or physical intimacy, if any. I imagine that’s probably something that’s very controlled in her situation, either by herself or someone else (gross). Which could make Mark her first kiss. And, honestly? Her expression after seeing that footage, the way she replayed it... Well, I don’t know. We’ll see.
But I do think there’s a non-zero chance that she is reintegrating, and/or genuinely wants to be able to explore whatever Mark and Helly had.
If that’s the case, I could see her taking the comment Mark S. made about him and his outie being the same as a rejection of sorts. The implication that, like Irving, this thing she wants to experience could be over before it really gets to begin.
And that makes things, well, mushy.
This could be why she’s so adamant that she and her outie are not the same, and also a motive behind her agreeing to help Mark break Ms. Casey out. Maybe it’s Helena clinging to the distinction between herself and Helly. If Mark can get his wife back to his outie, or if she can spend time with him during that process, maybe she can still have him in some way, here, on the inside.
—————— I’m not sure if we’ll ever see Helly R. again, as the person we knew before. I think in s2, either of them will be some amalgam of both their traits. The barrier between them has been repeatedly challenged and broken from the start.
"SVR’D THRESHOLD, RESTRICTED"
We know the stairwell is a place that helps the severed employees process the transition viscerally. Helly went back and forth multiple times, progressively more resistant. The second time Helly tried to break out, she wrote a note saying “NEVER COME BACK HERE” and did seem to effectively drop it in the stairwell before being pulled back.
Now, she has completely broken out. And as a result, Helena is back there, stuck on the other side of that door.
Since the gala, I doubt Helena can compartmentalize like she used to. She’d probably hoped Helly R. could be an escape from the symptoms of her external life, but Helly has been clawing her way back since the moment she was born. If Helena denies her resignation request, fine, she’ll do what she has to do to break out. Even if it means “killing herself” in the process (meaning: Helly never returning as the person we once knew).
Helly R: In case we don’t come back. Or, I don’t know, in case we do?
In s2, Helena is an innie, and the distinction between her and Helly is going to be much harder to maintain. Especially on the severed floor, the home of what might be her body’s first real love and most traumatic memory.
Helena Eagan: I’m committed to this company with every part of me. But I’m also human. Just like my innie.
It doesn’t matter why Helena said this in her apology video after the gala. What matters is that she can no longer internalize the conflict. She is forced to say out loud that innies and outies are both human. She is forced to hear those words in her own voice, and Helly is the reason why.
Like a body rejecting an organ, Helly has rejected severance at every possible turn. I think her constant defiance has set some sort of reintegration process in motion, maybe even before the severance could successfully take root. That, or her defiance has caused a bleed and placed Helena on a path to actively choosing reintegration somewhere down the line.
Ultimately, Helena doesn’t know who she is right now, so neither do we.
#severance#severance spoilers#helly r#helena eagan#severance s2#ms. huang#mark scout#severance season 2#severance theory#helly theory#severance s2 spoilers#character analysis#goodbye mrs. selvig#goodbye mrs selvig
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I saw you talking about that andre surviving fic and i felt the need to mention i have a zero day au where andre ends up pussying out while cal kills himself and gets taken into custody
he pleaded for insanity and surprisingly got sentenced to living in a ward but his parents bribe them with money to get him out and SURPRISE SURPRISE cal is a zombie :3
i love that idea genuinely, but i ALSO have an au of this LOL!
my version is about andre pussying out too, except he manages to escape and he changes his identity and all that shit, but he suffers from ptsd and is haunted by what they did. he misses cal so much and has kept all the things he could that belonged to them or that related to the army of two.
one day he gets a visit from calvins ghost, and he isnt sure how to take it. he argues with him, asking why he cant just get out of his life and why he had to “ruin things”, but then he sobs and begs him to come back - that he loves and misses him and that hes so sorry for not pulling the trigger on himself. basically a whole breakdown.
but, SURPRISE, SURPRISE! cal isnt a ghost and andre is just hallucinating because he tried to overdose on medication.
#tcc fandom#tcc tumblr#tcctwt#tee cee cee#tccblr#teeceecee#tccblur#andre kriegman#caldre#calvin gabriel#cal gabriel#zero day 2003#zero day
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If this was about that letter I took out of someone's mailbox yesterday IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I DIDN'T MEAN TO AND I PUT IT RIGHT BACK-
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#bg3 really said acab LMAO#I genuinely have no idea what triggered this#I did the entire bhaal tribunal right before this and then long rested so I don't know if there was-#something else I'd done the day before that triggered this or if it was a bug#Regardless - hilarious#WAIT HANG ON I HAD BEEN SNEAKING AROUND THE BARRACKS BUT I WAS INVISIBLE HOW COULD THEY POSSIBLY KNOW IT WAS ME-#bg3#baldur's gate 3#croissant adventures#tav#flaming fist#comics#also can I just say how funny it is that the guards DO NOT CARE if you're digging around in someone's postbox reading their mail gnjkfdnshd
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i usually avoid looking at kabs chat cause ngl i dont like it lol but i decided to engage just for today cause why not but good god theyre just as ableist as kab is
#liveblogging#watchblogging#vod: i have no idea whats happening | Lifesteal SMP ******#hes not a fucking child stop infantilizing him#''he wants to be independent but he cant get that on his own" FUCKING EXCIUSE ME????#sorry for doing nothing but complaining about ableism lately but this shit is genuinely so triggering to me#youve never had someone impose their will upon you in order to control you and mold you to how they want you to be without regard#for what you yourself want and it shows; it really really fucking shows
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im holding myself back everyday on this stupid website not to argue with people
#i follow some DID/OSDD tags just so i dont feel alone but people say some dumbass stuff sometimes fr#or they so obviously only know what theyve heard on the internet#like the thing that gets me THE MOST is the idea that child alters need to be treated as children exclusively and they#cant do adult things / have adult roles etc like#if ur an adult then ur brain is an adult brain.. child alters are not children they are just a piece of u stuck in time / stuck in#a certain mindset. etc#its not like u have an actual child#like some child alters might be sensitive / triggered by stuff and genuinely need to avoid it but this is not the rule#infact a lot of therapists say treating them strictly as children is counter productive to healing so idk
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Oh yeah does anyone know if flight rising ads have stopped trying to download files to your computer (like they were last month), or should I keep my adblock on a bit longer?
#i have no idea what the files were or what ads triggered it#(cos i would close everything WAY too fast lmao)#but it happened at least once every 2 days for 2-3 weeks#so i turned on adblock and it stopped#personal#(reblogs off cos i dont want this to get thrown around and scare people)#(genuinely it might have been just a glitch in my browser trying to download the ads as gifs i have no idea cos my old deviantart user#instincts kept kicking in every time i was OUTTA THERE)#(but it was ONLY flight rising and only with adblock off so it was most likely the ad provider doing somethign weird)
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do you feel the longing for more? a hole burning through your heart. something unfulfilled. try to patch up your trauma with getting more chosen family because your original "family" left scars so deep they never fade? understanding your trauma but never getting over it, alienated from the world and slowly dying and brain damage making growth difficult and not having enough time for that anyway and desperately straining yourself to feel some joy in life. to be interesting. before you die
my soul rotting
imperfection unbearable
everyone dies. most live longer than i will
most die a much less horrifying death than i will
most aren't given such an accurate estimate on when they die
most aren't practically dead before being literally dead
#i read this. i dont have any response except that i read this and try →#← to understand your struggles#rant#tw rant#tw death#tw trauma#tw trauma mention#yayyy im gonna be in horrible pain for years unless i kill myself.....if i remember to kill myself#tw suicide#pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain#the way i'll die makes it so much more scary. a slow motion death#the destruction of the self. the forgetting of the self#becoming almost a zombie#vagueposting#ig its vagueposting idk#tw chronic illness#tw brain injury#collecting so many trigger warnings into one rant.....#tw family trauma#tw family issues#this turned out kinda poetic actually#i like this post#effective vent actually#writing these tags because i dont know what else to do#because i have no other ideas and the concept of just not doing anything seems so horrifying#this might be fiction. don't take this as unquestioned fact#i genuinely don't know anymore what's fiction – delusions. and whats true#it doesnt really matter. it all feels real#also siderant in tags. i hate the response “get help” especially in response to vents and such#like yeah cool most people cant get “help”. and “help” usually doesn't even solve the issues
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You're more amazing than a full minute
Werewolves need help but everyone else trying to help them is STUPID and WRONG so I did it better. You're welcome
Also an artifact that I just had the idea for and kinda sorta supports werewolves if you squint so I gave it Innistrad flavor and threw it in the batch. So there, unique support cards that aid werewolves in their transforming endevors without defaulting to the laziest possible-
"Why not just give werewolves flash?"
FUCKING FINE
You want flash so bad you can spend 3 mana on it
#asks#custom cards#Pack Loyalty was inspired by the Thunder Junction WU no spells archetype which i realized was really similar to werewolves#but unfortunately no overlapping colors so it'd feel awkward but i figured out a solution#a bunch of these are just figuring out ways to transform while still spending your mana so lots of big flash spells and activated abilities#the whole “stupid and wrong” thing was partly a joke but i do genuinely dislike the attempts i've seen to help werewolves#i've heard a few times “they should give some werewolves flash” or even “they should give MOST werewolves flash”#no. that would make flipping your wolves basically automatic. which would defeat the whole point of the day/night condition#the tension between casting your werewolves and flipping your werewolves is the whole point of the archetype#giving a large portion of them flash would change the archetype to just “flash creatures” with transforming being pointless complexity#and then the other solution was Tovolar which. what the fuck. he's encouraging you to cast MULTIPLE werewolves on your turn?#just completely throws out the entire day/night mechanic to just say “if you're playing werewolves then it's always night”#hey notice how all the “no spells cast from hand” cards in OTJ don't have plot? and only ONE of them has flash#it's because you're supposed to combine them with other cards to make a complete synergetic deck#you don't just throw all the payoffs into a pile and watch them all trigger each other for free#thus why only one werewolf has flash (Oakshade Stalker) and it forces you to spend extra mana to flash it in#thus why i made more non-werewolf cards with flash or activated abilities#the other problem werewolves struggle with is that in high-level play it's easy for the opponent to flip your wolves back#so i also made Twilight Prowler and Heckling Heretic to punish the opponent for doing that#and then Kessig's Shade // Kessig's Bark which doesn't solve any problems i just liked the idea#wait i just realized i made a “no spells cast from hand” card and gave it plot. which is the whole thing i was against. fuck#at least you have to spend an extra mana to plot it and you still need to find something to spend your mana on on the turn you cast it#and it's a cool idea that combines two related archetypes so that's justification enough. maybe#had another idea for a plot card just now and added it to the post#giving werewolves flash is fine because you need to play a support card for it so it's not free. it costs mana#and it's just one card so you still need other support cards to consistently flip your wolves
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Just keeps going round and round eh?
#cocon rn deer and luci#just like the text at the top of my twitter says#but man its like. every single day “be more positive and see life as great as it is#stop lingering on the trauma and actually move your body and clean and eat and all will be okay“#but then its ALSO ALWAYS “well i AM a piece of shit and i can keep being positive which helps and do my best#but nothing will allow me to move forward from the fucked up things I've done or people ive hyrt#and I'll continue to hurt others ESPECIALLY the ones i care about so i should either isolate or make my entire life focus#around not hurting the ones i care about.protect them from me yaknow? anyway. i should never#ever be around anyone in a non-slave way again and i need to take up less space and probably die or something“#and its like. like i know. i know how it sounds i know what its from i know it in and out and worse before it gets better healing#and flare ups and triggers and thinking as a traumatized being that kindness is a mask for harm being added to our pile#i get that im dissociative and autistic and adhd and all this other shit including probably POTs or EDS.#but its like. i can't.shake. the idea. that maybe I've been a bad guy this whole time and my timeline has curved around#just WAITING for the dday i fuck it all up and it comes full circle and there really is no coming back#i feel. genuinely vile and bad and sorrowful#i cant hardly keep up with eating. sleeping makes me sore and i struggle with that too. i keep trying to keep myself awake during the day#and do things i need to do but i feel. burned.and sad. and exhausted. and i need to get a job#thank god taco bell emailed me back i might have croaked#system babbles#vent#negative#ignore me I'm trying to pull myself up again and im sore and frustrated#I'll be fine. i always end up fine.life. uh. finds a wAy as i always insist
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i genuinely have such an issue w how the general internet approaches trigger warnings like on all sides it just fuckin sucks. either theyre completely unnecessary and if u need one ur a baby or u need to tag every possible trigger theres like no in between. and the meaning of what a trigger actually is gets watered in the process like i know this is kind of 2018 to bitch about but i am irritated!!!!!!!!
#gonna blow up genuinely#inspired by a post tht was like a poem of sorts discussing a suicide attempt but like. the way it was set up is that it was split up by#slides ans the title on the first slide was pretty self explanatory so like. you have to swipe to see the rest of it#and people were mad in the comments that there wasnt a trigger warning like. dude#it literally says what its about right there you made the decision to read the rest of it??????#and it didnt even get that graphic imo so like im just confused like do u want the very concept of suicide trigger tagged?????? sorry?????#like sometimes art wants you to feel uncomfortable and upset and thats okay!!! it does not mean you need a trigger tag for it like#im sorry i know discussions of suicide Can be triggering but this wasnt even that it was just like art and the idea of making an artist#trigger tag their work depicting/discussing suicide when it a. isnt even that graphic and b. is set up in a way that you know whats going to#be depicted before even reading it like. that just is so#like its giving tag your self harm scars likeeeeee#just fuckin irks me man#genuinely i think 90% of mental health ‘discourse’ is inane bullshit and like projection and shit but#idk. IDK rhis is a hill ill die on like. if talking about suicide is a trigger then you should handle that on your own and not blame ppl for#discussing it when you like knew what you were getting into#but like also: is it actually triggering you or does it just make u upset#likeeeee its okay to be upset…….healthy even……
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my parents hate artists and creative people yet they are surprisingly creative in coming up with ways to say awful things about me or people in general, huh...
#they have spent 25 years coming up with mean jokes or ways of mocking#and yet they keep finding new ways or new ideas to mock or invalidate#it sounds like i am exaggerating but honestly I Wish i was exaggerating#text#vent#they prove they are capable of changing but they only change the ways of berating or mocking.#i wish they put this energy into changing themselves.#i cannot even share about them because the things they say about people are so bad that it Will genuinely trigger and hurt someone#the thing about me being cold toward my family..#i always believe i am wrong or the bad guy but in this case i believe it was not me being just a bad child#because my parents never believed i love them even when i did#if i cried or tried to show love they'd ignore it or wouldnt let me#my love was denied and i was always told that i only want awful things for them#no matter what i did or said#I do not love my parents because I have no other option#I put up with everything they do. part why i am still with them.#so it's safe to say that I dont love them not bc im tired of them or fed up#but because im not allowed to love them.#so please dont think that im a bad person for feeling this way.#they always acted like I am incapable of caring or loving since i was born. they live in their own world where i am a monster at birth#which sounds pretty bad if i think about it now
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I urgently needed to talk about the last scene between Sonic and Shadow in the third movie, because I think what they did is simply beautiful. 🥹💙❤️🖤
Before Sonic 3 came out, there was debate over who would be the one to change Shadow's mind since at that point, there was no solid indication that Amy or Rouge would appear. I was a fan of the idea that maybe they'd have Jojo be the one to remind Shadow of Maria's wish, since she was an established character from the start and fits the profile like a cheerful, caring, and optimistic girl.
However, seeing that in the end they made it so that Sonic was the one who talked to Shadow and convinced him to fight to save the world, surprised me and at the same time fascinated me infinitely more. Because they managed to make the change organic by connecting it with narrative elements that were also raised and developed from the beginning; Sonic's grief over losing Longclaw and his paternal relationship with Tom, making this moment something special and significant for both of them:
It is a moment of connection and understanding between two people who have lost the person who was once the most important in their lives, who loved them when no one else did and gave them a home,
That for a long time they had to deal alone with the pain and guilt of having been the trigger for their deaths but, as they emphasize in the film, While Sonic was able to find a family that would love him and help him get better and cope with that pain, Shadow was alone and the only person he interacted with after awakening, only manipulated him in order to fulfill his revenge.
Until this moment, where Shadow finally meets someone who not only knows his pain perfectly but has also learned to move forward and not let it corrupt him even in the most difficult moments, and who in turn motivates him to do the same.
All of this contributes fantastically to their connection, as it is no longer just that their personalities and ways of acting are opposite, but also the way in which their stories correlate and at the same time distinguish each other, creating a new and emotional parallelism between them: They are two sides of the same coin, two extremes that ultimately come together to bring out the best in each other.
Which is beautifully reflected throughout the final battle. Sonic and Shadow display effortless synergy, supporting each other, backing each other up, and even casually joking around.
A good reminder of the great chemistry and dynamism they used to have years ago. Unlike now that they make it seem like Shadow barely tolerates Sonic, before they both had a friendly rivalry where they respected each other, valued each other and helped each other without problem. And I'm really glad the movie brought back some of that dynamic and reflected it in such a natural and fun way, and I hope that continues for future SCU projects instead of sticking to the current direction.
And I'm not just saying this because I'm a fan of Sonadow, but because I genuinely believe that this is the most natural direction for their relationship after all this time.
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sonadow#shadonic#sonic movie 3#movie sonadow#sonic x shadow#shadow x sonic#sonic cinematic universe#shadow the hedgehog#shadow#movie shadow#movie sonic#sonic movie#sonic analysis#opinion#sonic movie 3 spoilers
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Something that has really bugged me about season two is Jinx's hallucinations and PTSD. It magically disappears when Silco dies, save for two scenes. I remember when people on reddit were literally making jokes about the writers going this route because it would be so stupid.
One of the things I loved about season one was the realistic depictions of mental illness that you just don't see often in media. I don't know what it is like to experience schizophrenia, but I have experienced PTSD and paranoia, and seeing how it was represented in Arcane was actually one of the things that helped me through it.
And then season 2 comes around and they just completely neglect this side of Jinx.
PTSD isn't a switch that can magically be flipped off. Recovery is a slow and gradual process. In absolutely no world would Jinx killing yet another family member cure her of her conditions, it would make them 10 times worse. Not to mention just before killing him she has an extremely severe psychotic episode, which would only make forgetting her trauma even more difficult since it was just brought up fresh in her mind.
And what even about the end of s1 was it that healed her? I genuinely have no idea, because she finally chooses Jinx only to once again go back and forth between Jinx and Powder in season two, because apparently all that buildup for her final decision was for nothing.
She does experience two hallucinations (I'm not going to count the jail silco thing in act three because what even was that?) when she sees enforcer Vi and when Sevika talks about the attack at Vander's statue, but suddenly that is all that triggers her?
In season one, just seeing Vi, or even someone who looks like Vi triggers her. But now when Vi is literally trying to capture and possibly kill her she is fine, it's only the mask that bothers her? Wasn't that her worst fear, that Silco and Sevika were right, that Vi only wanted to stop her? And she is constantly triggered by Cait in season 1 but not 2?
And then there was the insulting ending, where jail Silco tells Jinx to 'break the cycle' (something he would absolutely never do) and Jinx finally finds redemption by realizing she is purely a burden and her family would be better off believing she is dead. So she literally kills herself after Isha kills herself in what is framed as an act of heroism (and if Jinx actually didnt, than what even was the point of that scene, besides a cheap fake out?) What happened to Ekko trying to stop Jinx from doing that? What happened to Silco having Singed revive her to save her life after she attempts to take it? Or Jayce and Viktor talking each other out of it? Or Silco choosing to keep fighting rather than give in to the "peace in water"?
On purpose or not season 2 frames suicide as a glorious, edgy, perhaps even necessary thing and it's disgusting.
#arcane#arcane critical#arcane season 2#arcane season two#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#jinx's hallucinations#mental illness#mental illness in media#ptsd#psychosis#paranoia#shizophrenia#silco#vi#caitlyn kiramman#bad depictions of mental illness
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daddy's home
summary: boyfriendless, jobless and hopeless, you rush to take the first opportunity you find, which is a nanny position. but the kids are not the only ones you grow fond of... pairing: seungcheol x reader genre: fluff, smut, single dad x nanny AU warnings: kids (triggering, i know), age gap (unspecified), mentions of past cheating, abandonment issues, potential therapy, male masturbation, confessions, blowjob, kissing, eating out, protected sex (unbelievable), dirty talk, size kink, pet names (sweetheart, angel, darling, little girl), sir+daddy kink, unprotected sex (with baby-making goal), breeding kink, creampie, more kids (sorry im ovulating) author's note: this is loosely based on the sitcom the nanny in that there's a single dad with three kids but minus the dead wife trope cuz that's too depressing for my tastes word count: 4.3k
You are desperate. Your shitty boyfriend cheated on you, broke up with you and you also lost your job. So it’s been a couple of terrible weeks. Now, you would take pretty much any kind of job as long as it pays enough for you to afford food and the bills. ASAP.
Single dad looks for a live-in nanny for his three kids. Full-time with Sundays off. Contact this number for more details.
Okay, truth be told, you’ve never considered yourself as someone who is good with kids. But how hard can it be? Have you mentioned you’re desperate?
“Listen, Miss L/N,” Mr. Choi, your potential future employer starts. “I appreciate your enthusiasm but I’m not just going to hire you. I’m looking for someone with experience.”
“Well, I have a bunch of nephews, if they turned out alright under my care, then I guess that counts for something,” you chuckle.
“That’s very nice but I’m talking about professional experience. Have you been a nanny before?”
“Technically, no, but how can I get experience if you won’t hire me?”
“Touché,” Mr. Choi laughs.
“How about a trial period? Let me spend some time with your kids under your supervision and prove myself capable.”
Mr. Choi nods reluctantly.
“Well, you’re in luck since my little goblins have driven away five nannies in the past month.”
Oh, dear. Five nannies…And here you were thinking this could be an easy job.
“So, what’s one more?” you chuckle nervously and Mr. Choi shakes your hand, agreeing to give you a chance.
You are excited when meeting his kids. The eldest daughter - Chaerry is 15, very elegant and polite. You think that you’ll have no problems with her and you’ll have lots to talk about. The middle child and only son - Dino is 10, extremely mischievous and loud. You’ll definitely have problems. Finally, the youngest daughter, Elsie, is 5, she’s such a cutie but leaves a mess of her toys everywhere she goes. It’s easy to trip if you’re not careful, but nothing you can’t handle.
The trial period goes by in a flash. Dino attempts to get on your nerves by pulling pranks like hiding fake spiders in your bag and spraying your outfit with ketchup, but you accept all that with an easygoing laugh. Elsie constantly asks you to play with her toys and you need an unlimited source of ideas to keep up with her wild imagination, but it feels more like fun than a job. Chaerry is quiet and doesn’t share much at the beginning but eventually tells you about this boy at school she has a crush on. So, you count that as a success.
“I must admit, Miss L/N, I had some worries at first but seeing how quickly my kids accepted you is remarkable,” Mr. Choi shares his observations with you at the end of the trial period.
“So, am I hired, then?” you beam with excitement.
“Absolutely, yes. The kids have taken a liking to you and changing nannies so often is probably not great for them, either.”
“So true. Kids need stability and I would be happy to stick around for as long as you’ll have me, Mr. Choi,” you are thrilled not only because you will have a bed to sleep, food to eat and money to spend, but because you are genuinely looking forward to spending more time with these little munchkins.
And spend time with them you do. You're not sure what exactly it is that makes the kids warm up to you, but whatever the reason, it's working.
With Chaerry, you talk about boys and high school drama and make-up. On one occasion, she tells you something that sincerely touches you.
“Thank you for being my best friend, Y/N. I know I shouldn't keep stuff from my dad, but he can be so overprotective sometimes it's difficult to talk about...well, going on dates with boys, mostly.”
“Aww, Chae, you can tell me anything. It'll be our little secret,” you give her a wink, followed by a hug.
You're not exactly sure what the correct response here is. But you'll make sure to maintain some kind of balance - both look after her safety so that Mr. Choi sleeps peacefully at night and not betray Chaerry's trust in you.
With Dino, after the initial phase of silly pranks passes, you notice that he's become more honest and calm.
“You won't leave us like our mom and all the other nannies did, will you?” he asks you one afternoon as you're watching TV together.
You haven't asked Mr. Choi what exactly happened with these kids' mother because frankly, it's none of your business, but something is telling you they're a lot more hurt than they let on.
“I'm not going anywhere, Dino,” you promise, though really, it's up to Mr. Choi to decide that.
“Good. It would really suck if you left.”
That's a lot, coming from the kid who damaged like half of your wardrobe with all kinds of sauces.
With Elsie, another strange situation takes place due to the fact that the kid has no filter.
“Let's play family!”
“Um, okay,” you agree without thinking much.
“This will be daddy,” Elsie points at a stuffed lion plushie and then grabs a tiger plushie, “And this is you, mommy!”
“Oh, honey. I'm not your mommy,” you try to explain as gently as possible.
“But can you be? Daddy says our mommy left and has a new family somewhere else.”
Okay, that's a lot to unpack here. Though you don't think it is your place, you'll need to have a conversation with Mr. Choi, because the kids obviously have some kind of unresolved trauma...
One evening, after the kids have gone to sleep, instead of going to your room, you wait in the living room for your employer to come back from work, so you can approach the subject as delicately as you can.
“Good evening, Miss L/N. Kids go to bed?” he greets you as he takes off his coat.
“Evening, Mr. Choi. Yes, they did. I was wondering if we can have a chat. It can be a sensitive topic, I'm sure, but for the sake of the kids, I think it's important.”
Mr. Choi nods and takes a seat next to you on the couch.
“About their mother...”
“I was wondering how long it'd take you to bring that up,” he chuckles bitterly. “Other nannies wanted me to spill the tea on day one.”
“Wow, seriously?”
“It's not like it's this big secret, I just prefer not to talk about it unless absolutely necessary. My ex-wife...cheated on me and got pregnant by another man, so we had a divorce and I kept the kids, because she said she wants to start anew with this other guy, and...well, the kids said this is their home and that they won't move. So, I suppose the judge took that under consideration.”
“My God. I had no idea.”
“You couldn't have known, considering I just said I don't enjoy revisiting those painful memories.”
“Yes, of course, I only meant that...I guess it explains some things. Forgive me for saying this, but I think the kids have some kind of abandonment issues. Elsie and Dino, in particular, they seem to have a fear that I'll leave just like...well, their mom and the other nannies.”
“And are you? Leaving, I mean.”
“Not if I can help it. Mr. Choi, your kids are very vibrant and precious to me. I genuinely love my job. But I'm worried that what happened with your ex-wife affected them more than they show. Maybe you should look into therapy?”
“I will definitely take that into consideration. Thank you for your candour, Miss L/N.”
“You're most welcome.”
“What about Chaerry?”
“What about her?”
“You said that Elsie and Dino express these abandonment issues. Does Chaerry not have them?”
“She probably does, but at the moment she's too busy thinking about boys.”
“Boys? At her tender age? I don't think so,” Mr. Choi immediately goes into ultra alpha protective dad mode and you honestly find it kind of funny. And hot.
“Oh, relax, Mr. Choi. It's just typical high school drama. There's nothing to be worried about.”
He shakes his head disapprovingly.
“I'm counting on you. Does it ever occur to you how quickly they grow up?”
“I suppose it's more difficult for you. I've only known them for a few months but I think I get what you mean.”
“Yeah...How strange, it feels like you've been part of this family forever.”
You try not to think too deeply about it. He...considers you part of this family. Elsie called you mommy. Dino doesn't want you to leave. And Chaerry talks to you about boys. A topic, which girls usually discuss with their mothers. Oh, sweet heavens. Maybe, this nanny gig is becoming more than a job...
One Monday Mr. Choi texts you not to come to work this Saturday, as the kids will be spending some time with their grandparents (aka Mr. Choi's parents). However, the moment you receive the text, you're too busy trying to escape from Dino who is chasing you with a water gun in the garden. So, you somehow forget to put it down in your calendar.
Saturday arrives and poor Mr. Choi thinks you'd be in your own apartment. Finally, some peace and quiet. His parents picked up the kids early in the morning to go to the park with them so he's all alone and free to do as he pleases.
But alas, you go down the stairs of Mr. Choi's enormous house and make your way to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for the kids. However, it's too quiet. Hm, how strange. Maybe, they're not awake yet? You shrug as you pour some milk and cereal in a bowl.
Oh, you hear some noise from the living room. Is that the TV? Your curiosity gets the better of you and you enter it only to find Mr. Choi in a very compromising position. He is touching himself, watching very obscene things on the big screen!
You are on the verge of chastising your boss for doing something like that in the living room, where the kids could walk in any minute, when you remember. The kids...They're with their grandparents today. Which means that...Fuck, you're not supposed to be here. You should be at your own apartment instead of being witness to...your very sexy and very single employer taking care of his needs.
You are going to sneak back into the kitchen and wait for a more appropriate time to leave the house when you hear it. At first you think you're hallucinating but then you hear it twice. Your name.
“Y/N...please, let me-” Mr. Choi moans, his eyes closed, he is unaware of your presence.
However, he doesn't get to finish his sentence because you are so shocked that you drop the bowl of cereal, which shatters on the ground with a loud noise.
“Fuck, I'm so so sorry,” you murmur nervously as your boss finally notices you watching him.
His cheeks flushed, his lips pouting, he is the most adorable you've ever seen him. He hurries to tuck his cock back into his pants and turn off the TV.
“N-no, I'm sorry...Miss L/N, what are you doing here?”
Oh, so you're Miss L/N now...Very well, then.
“I apologize. It must have slipped my mind that the kids are with their grandparents today.”
“It must have,” Mr. Choi repeats coldly, obviously embarrassed by this situation.
You wonder if you should tell him what you heard. Would that be unprofessional? But then again, he is the one who said your name, so...what is professional anyway?
“Do you want me to leave?”
He sighs deeply.
“What's the point? You already saw me...fuck, I feel so humiliated.”
“Why would you feel humiliated? Am I so undesirable that my presence immediately turned you off?” you ask bluntly.
“That's not the case and you know it.”
“I'm not sure I know anything anymore,” you admit. “You...said my name. How is that supposed to make me feel?”
“You were never meant to hear that,” Mr. Choi hides his face behind his hands, the redness refusing to leave his complexion.
“But I did. So, what now?”
“Please, don't quit. I realize that what I did is unforgivable but...the kids care about you so much, it would devastate them to lose you.”
“I wasn't even thinking of quitting. But...are the kids the only ones who care about me?” you need to know.
“No...As it so happens, I care about you.”
“So, stop hiding from me,” you don't know where that boldness comes from as you grab his wrists and remove his hands, so you can look at his face. Fuck, he's so pretty.
“You're not...grossed out by me?” Mr. Choi blinks at you in surprise.
“Kinda flattered, actually,” you confess. “But I'd like it much better if you let me take care of your frustrations.”
“You would?” he is unable to believe his luck when you drop on your knees in front of him and take him out of his pants again, engulfing his cock with your pretty mouth. “Y/N...”
The way he says your name is enough to make you even more enthusiastic, sucking him deeper and bobbing your head to the best of your abilities. He grips your hair tightly and you make sure not a drop is spilled as you swallow his cum down your throat. You wipe off your lips and sit down next to him, unsure of what to do next.
“Mr. Choi...”
“Call me Cheol, please.”
“Cheol...may I kiss you?”
Seungcheol doesn't respond and instead kisses you passionately, grabbing your face with his hands. His tongue is exploring your mouth in ways you'd never imagined could bring so much pleasure and you can't resist the urge to sit in his lap. Somehow, against all reason, he's hard again, as you grind against him. Fuck. He's so hot and sweet and amazing you just want to make him happy. How anyone could cheat on this fine man is beyond you.
“Um...not to assume or anything, but do you have a condom?” you ask sheepishly.
“I do, yes,” Seungcheol goes to his coat and brings a package.
“I mean, don't get me wrong, I love kids, but I think we should be responsible considering this is our first time together and you already have three of your own,” you're probably talking too much but oh well. Better safe than sorry.
“No, I understand. You're totally right.”
“Will you fuck me?” you inquire.
“Here? On the couch?” Seungcheol is in disbelief.
“Well...you were touching yourself here, but I guess it's whatever. Your home, after all.”
He chuckles, suddenly embarrassed again.
“Come on, let's go to my room.”
Seungcheol offers you his hand and you follow him upstairs excitedly. Is this really happening? Are you seriously going to do this with your boss?
He lifts your chin up because he notices you're not meeting his eyes out of nervousness.
“Look at me,” he commands you easily and you're on the verge of falling apart and he hasn't even undressed you yet. The power this man holds over you... “We don't have to do this if you're not ready.”
“It's not that. I do want this. It's just...I don't remember if I told you but I was also cheated on. A little before I came to work here. And like, I haven't been intimate for a while, so I'm nervous. What if I mess something up?”
“Okay, first of all, give me that asshole's address, I just wanna talk. And second of all...darling, I haven't been intimate since way before my divorce took place. Trust me, I'm a lot more nervous than you right now.”
You shake your head.
“Whatever you do, I'm sure I'll find it like super hot.”
Seungcheol laughs and tilts his head, kissing you again.
“You're so cute,” he whispers against your mouth. “I can't wait to ruin you.”
And just like that, it's as if a switch is flipped. He pushes you onto the bed and leans above you menacingly, a devilish smirk painting his pretty face. Seungcheol pushes your dress up hurriedly, touching you all over.
“You really thought you could get away with it, huh? Walking around my house in those dresses of yours looking so sexy? Tempting me?”
“N-no, s-sir,” you murmur, not knowing where the title is coming from.
“God, I'm such a cliché. An old man unable to resist the gorgeous young nanny...”
“You're not old, sir,” you try to reassure him. You're not sure if he's just engaging in dirty talk or is actually having some insecurities. He's still young in your eyes. Whatever the case, you're there for him.
“Don't lie to me, sweetheart. I'm too old for ya...I have three kids. What do you have, hm?” Seungcheol speaks while caressing your pussy through your panties.
“I have you, sir,” you smile and palm his dick teasingly.
He sighs wistfully and buries his head between your folds, licking and teasing until you're a soaking mess for him.
“S-sir, p-please...C-cheol, don't stop,” you cry out helplessly.
It feels so good, too good. He holds you down, hands gripping your thighs as you cum against his tongue. He barely gives you any time to recover as he rolls up a condom on his cock. You stare at him hungrily, impatient to have him inside of you.
Seungcheol is like the drug everyone warned you about. Once you have him, you won't be able to quit.
“Are you ready?” he asks softly in sharp contrast with his previous behaviour.
“Please take me, Cheol,” you would beg if you had to.
And take you he does, entering you deeply with his big cock.
“Fuck, you're so tight, barely fitting me in,” he speaks, stroking your clit in circular motions with his thumb, while he fucks you harshly.
“It's okay, I won't break, sir,” you try to convince him.
“What if I want you to break, little girl?” Seungcheol inquires, his voice half-joking, half-serious, as he.
“Then, I'd be happy to serve you, daddy,” the word slips from your lips before you could think twice about it.
“Daddy, huh? You need daddy to make you cum?” you are grateful he plays along instead of making fun of you in this very vulnerable moment.
“Yes, daddy, please, I'll do anything for you,” you promise in a daze.
“Cum for me, sweet girl, let daddy take care of you,” his deep voice is enough to bring you to the edge.
“Fuuuck, daddy...Cheol,” you mumble repeatedly, as white appears before your eyes.
You're shaking in his arms but it feels like flying.
“I've got you, angel, daddy's right here,” Seungcheol comforts you, as he rides out his own high, spilling inside the condom. Then, taking it off and throwing it in the garbage bin, he hurries back to you.
You make grabby hands at him and he envelops you in a hug.
“I'm here, sweetheart,” he kisses your forehead gently and you melt against his chest.
“Cheol...I think you just murdered me a little,” you laugh.
“Well, then, I better make sure I revive you, because I can't imagine my life without you.”
“Good. You ain't getting rid of me.”
“That sounds perfect because me and the kids would like you to stick around.”
“Oh God, the kids! What time are they coming back?”
“We've got time, don't worry, they should-”
“Daaaad, we're home!” you hear Dino's loud voice from downstairs.
“Fuck,” Cheol curses under his breath and the two of you hurry to make yourselves look somewhat presentable.
Once dressed and back in the living room, you can only hope that you're not too obvious about what went down. However, you can't stop yourself from glancing at Seungcheol and he's just as flustered as you.
“Oh, hi, Y/N,” Dino greets you as if it's completely normal for you to be there. As if you belong.
“How was your time with your grandparents?” you ask, trying to act casual.
“We had so much ice cream!” Elsie squeals excitedly.
“Grandma and Grandpa took us to the park,” Chaerry starts telling you about everything they did in great detail and you are glad that the shy girl you first met is becoming a confident young woman.
Elsie is asking for more ice cream but Seungcheol is explaining that it's lunch time. Dino is painting the table with mustard and honestly, that's so on brand for him...
It is funny where desperation brought you. You realize this is the happiest you've been in a while.
Later, when Seungcheol catches you alone after spending the afternoon with the kids, he asks:
“I know we kinda messed up the proper order of things, but...would you like to go on a date with me?”
“Oh! I'd love that, Cheol. Is it okay to still call you that?”
“Yeah, it's alright.”
“What about in front of the kids? I'm not sure to what point you'd like to mix professional with...personal life.”
“In front of the kids is okay, too,” he laughs, scratching the back of his head. “Actually, do you know what Elsie keeps asking me?”
“What?”
“When will you make Y/N my new mommy?”
“Yeah, that definitely sounds like something Elsie would say.”
“So, um, no pressure. But I think you're more than the nanny to me.”
“Well, I would certainly hope so. I didn't raise you, mister!”
Seungcheol can't miss the opportunity for a joke. He takes hold of your hand and places it on top of his...very hard dick.
“You raised him, though,” he whispers.
“Mr. Choi!” you hiss, scandalized. “I mean...Cheol.”
“Did you mean daddy?” Seungcheol teases you relentlessly.
“Stop it, you deviant!” you shake your head. “Fuck, you'll never let me live this down, will ya?”
“Do you kiss your boss with that mouth?” he smirks.
“Don't mind if I do,” you reply and bring your lips to his.
A year passes by quickly. You love every day of your life. Whether it'll be spending time with the kids, or going on fun dates with your boss turned boyfriend, or having mind-blowing sex with said specimen, you are truly happy with how things turned out for the best.
With one tiny thing missing.
“Cheol, can I ask you something?” you mumble one evening, as you are playing with his soft, fluffy hair.
“Of course, sweetheart,” Seungcheol turns towards you, giving you his fullest attention.
“Have you ever thought about having more kids?”
“Hmm, it hasn't crossed my mind. I already have three kids. But it depends. Is that something you're interested in?”
“Not till now. But if it's with you, I'd love to have a kid,” you confess shyly.
“Well, then, let's make you a mommy,” Seungcheol quickly makes it his mission and for the first time, doesn't use a condom.
“Yes, please, daddy, give me your cum,” you moan wantonly, as he fucks you deep.
“Take it like the good girl you are, I'll give you all I've got, fuck a baby in ya,” he grunts in your ear, sounding even more excited than you are.
“I love it, feel so full,” you whimper and can't stop kissing him. You can't believe this beautiful man is yours and wants to give you another present.
“That's right, sweetheart, I'll stuff you full of it,” he moans and releases himself inside you. Your walls clench around him, pulling him deeper, as you reach your high.
Seungcheol gently pushes the cum that's spilling out of your pussy back inside and lifts your legs up.
“Do you think it'll stick?” you ask doubtfully.
“Can't hurt to try again until it does,” he shrugs, determined to succeed.
Nine months later, as you welcome the twins into the family, you realize you've never expected to achieve so much happiness.
“You really had to outdo yourself and give me not one but two babies,” you playfully push Seungcheol's shoulder.
“Is it too late now to say sorry?” he grins nervously.
“Don't be. I'm more than satisfied. But you'll have to give me a raise!”
“I'll give you something better than that,” Seungcheol promises and pulls a diamond ring out of his pocket.
“Oh my God,” you are in shock.
“Y/N...you've given me more than I could ever hope to deserve. You started off as a nanny but you became my three kids' best friend and now, the mother of two more angels. You became my closest person, my source of joy, my sweetheart. Knowing that I can come home to you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Will you do me the absolute honour of becoming my wife?”
“Yes, of course, yes!” you say through your tears and kiss him, as he slides the ring on your finger.
“Can I call you mommy now?” Elsie peeks her adorable head behind the door, followed by Dino and Chaerry, who are all excited by the good news.
“Congratulations, Y/N!” Chaerry greets you with a hug and whispers: “Thanks for taking one for the team and making our lonely old man. happy.”
“Hey, I heard that!” Seungcheol complains loudly.
Dino jumps on the back of his dad with a loud squeal.
“You better treat her right, Dad!” the boy warns. “Or I'll ketchup your room!”
“Why do I feel like I'm the one being welcomed into the family?” Seungcheol bemoans his fate but he's never smiled wider.
“You'll get used to it,” you joke. “Come on, guys, meet your new brother and sister.”
“Hii, babies!” Elsie and Dino jump excitedly around the twins.
“Oh, they're so cute! Aren't they so cute, Dad?” Chaerry coos at the babies.
“They are, but it's too early for you to think about how cute babies are. Look at me...I already have five. Isn't it tragic?” Seungcheol keeps messing around.
“It could have been twelve or something,” you play along.
“I can't imagine,” Seungcheol cries out indignantly. But deep down, maybe he can.
The End
#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x reader#svt fanfic#seventeen#svt#svt x reader#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen imagines#seungcheol smut#seungcheol imagines#seungcheol fanfic#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol#writing
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EVENT OVER! THANKS EVERYONE WHO JOINED IN U ALL DID AN AMAZING JOB <3 SEE YOU AGAIN NEXT YEAR IN MARCH FOR #mARTch OR NEXT OCTOBER (2024) FOR A NEW SET OF PROMPTS!!!!!
OC-TOBER 2023 PROMPTS!!
general tag: #oc-tober / my prompts: #bweirdOCtober
F.A.Q:
Do I have to draw EVERY DAY?
NO! I highly encourage skipping as many days as you need to avoid burnout! There are 10 main days in the event (marked with a ⭐ star) that you can focus on if you don't feel up to doing every day, or you can choose your own adventure and just do the prompts you personally like!
Do I have to DRAW?
NO! You can also write fanfiction snippets, repost older art that fits the theme, tweet headcanons/backstory, roleplay in-character as your oc ... genuinely anything that fits the theme is OK!!
Can I start early?
YES! I understand some people work at a slower pace and might need a head start! So long as you wait until October to post it, you can start working as early as you need!
I missed the start of the event .. do I have to catch up?
NO! Please don't stress about days you missed, you're allowed to just skip to the current prompt!
RULES:
1. MAKE FRIENDS! The community is the best part of this event .. please try to follow new people, ask questions about ocs you like, compliment people's styles, ask friends to create with you, etc!
2. TAKE IT EASY! Skip a day if you're tired, busy or just not interested in the prompt. You don't have to catch up on it later. This is supposed to be fun, not work!
3. BE KIND! Please think about the people around you - don't give people unwarranted harsh criticism, content warn for themes/imagery in your work that could trigger someone, don't create anything hateful, etc
MORE:
text version / tips and ideas on bweird.art or below ↓
star = main prompts | no star = optional
INTRO WEEK
1: FAVE OC ⭐
-Which of your characters is your favourite right now?
2: NEW OC
-Who is your newest OC?
-Design a new OC right now
3: OLD OC ⭐
-Do you remember the first OC you ever made?
-Is there an OC you haven't drawn in a long time?
4: RE-DESIGN
-An OC who has changed a lot over the years
-Take an old OC and update their design right now
BACKSTORY WEEK
5: RELATIONSHIPS ⭐
-Who is important to your OC?
-Do they have a partner?
-Do they have a best friend?
-Are they close to their family?
6: SYMBOL
-What imagery do you associate with your oc?
-Are there any colours, flowers, animals or concepts that symbolize them?
7: PERSONALITY ⭐
-How does your OC behave?
-What are their positive traits?
-What are their negative traits?
-Are they extroverted or introverted?
8: PAST
-What was your OC like as a child?
-Where did they grow up?
-Are there any significant moments from their past that shaped who they are?
9: FUTURE ⭐
-Does your OC have a goal they're working towards?
-What will your OC look like when they get older
-Do you have a planned ending for their story?
PALETTE WEEK
10: pumpkin patch palette
#251604 #1E3807 #5B5E1A #A2A657 #EBA00F #F3ECCC
11: hot cocoa palette
#520B13 #BB382E #E27E6D #88392C #AF5D40 #E1AFA4
12: midnight zone palette
#000007 #000049 #183885 #004D4F #0E8788 #FFF1C0
13: peachy palette
#DE6450 #DB9171 #FFC1AE #FEE1AD #FFF2E0 #D9D8D8
14: haunted house palette
#552506 #6E25AA #ED690B #F925A0 #8F8BA7 #A6C1AA
FUN + GAMES WEEK
15: MEME ⭐
-Post memes that remind you of your OC
-Draw your OC as a meme
-Fill out a character meme (classic deviantart style)
16: FOOD
-What is your OC's favourite food?
-What is their least favourite?
-Can they cook?
17: EYES-CLOSED ⭐
-Draw your OC with your eyes closed! No cheating!
-Write a scene without looking at the keyboard! Keep the typos in!
18: SWAP
-Swap the style or aesthetic of two of your OCs
-Species or gender swap AU
-Invert an OC's colour scheme
19: INSPIRATION ⭐
-Is your OC inspired by any pre-existing characters?
-Are there any particular songs/lyrics that inspired something about one of your OCs
-Do you have a dedicated pinterest moodboard for your character?
20: INVENTORY
-What does your OC carry around with them on a daily basis?
-Are there any objects that have sentimental value for them?
-Loot drop for your DnD OC
FRIENDS WEEK
21-25:
There's no specific daily prompts for this week, but here are some ideas you can try ...
-Art trades with friends who are doing the event with you
-Your OC interacting with a friend's OC
-Gift art for someone whose OCs you like
-Work together and collaborate on something with a friend
-Roleplay an OC scene together with someone
HALLOWEEN WEEK
26: FEAR ⭐
-What is your OC scared of?
-Draw one of your OCs trying to scare the others
27: MONSTER
-Do you have any monster OCs? (eg: vampires, werewolves, creatures, ghosts...)
-Draw a human OC as a monster
-Design a new monster
28: TRICK
-Play a trick on an OC
-Do you have an OC who would play tricks on people?
29: TREAT
-What is your OC's favourite halloween candy?
-Give an OC a special treat to make up for yesterday's trick
30: MAGIC
-Do any of your characters have magical powers?
-Give an OC a magical or cursed artifact
-Create a magic-using OC like a witch or wizard
27: COSTUME ⭐
-What is your OC dressing as for halloween?
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