#I fucking LOVE the bonus song to that machine

[godofvillains-arch]

((I'm TRYIN' to fight the urge.. But the urge is winning. I WAN GO.

[evolnoomym]

Washing Machine Heart 🩶 Pt.1

Mom’s Best-friend!Joel Miller x f!reader

Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: Your Mom is not nice to you, her only Daughter, always picking on you whenever she can. To get back at her you decide to seduce and fuck her Highschool Best-friend Joel Miller. Oh she also has a crush on him so that’s a bonus.

Rating: 18+ mature content mdni!!!!

Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: no use of y/n, female reader, implied abuse, childhood trauma, alcohol, smut, reader has no name only nicknames, size difference, age gap, readers age is mentioned and Joel is more than double sooo, mommy issues, strained relationships, petty shit, cream pie, tittys, choking kind of, teasing, Joel is tiny bit Pervy, of course Daddy kink, unprotected p in v,

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: I was mad so this is what I cooked up lol

Shoutout to @cafekitsune for the dividers 🫶🏻

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. This is my first time writing smut sooooo be nice please. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly. 🖤

Song’s I listened to while writing:

I Hate My Mom by GRLwood

Class of 2013 by Mitski

I hope ur miserable until ur dead by Nessa Barrett

Bubblegum Bitch by MARINA

Backstabber by Kesha

Jerk by Oliver Tree

You know exactly when the relationship between you and your mother started deteriorating- The day she decided to choose your loser Stepdad, the one she only dated for 4 years, over her own 8 year old daughter. From then on you took a backseat in her life yet she still expected you to take care of her all needs. You hate her for what she did and you miss her like a little kid. You had to drag her home when she drank too much, you can’t even remember how often that happened. Always having to jump in between that asshole and her fighting cuz even though she practically emotionally abandoned you, you still wanted to protect her from harm's way. She forced you to grow up so quickly, it’s her fault you never got a real childhood.

For years you accepted that this is normal. The screaming, the violence and the degrading words became a part of growing up. You were a kid but not clueless, someone who loves you wouldn’t have done all of this. And yet all of them tried so hard to make you shut up and believe it’s what you deserved.

Luckily what happened did not entirely break you. No, you grew into someone who fought for herself since no one ever did that.

Of course you hoped she might realize her mistakes, apologize and change but nothings new with her. She’s great at pretending to be a better person to the outside world, than she is in reality, behind closed doors the mask unveils an ugly woman. A narcissistic self absorbed monster that took all your joy away.

It’s pathetic considering how much she always talks about getting abused by her own father but instead of breaking the cycle she doubled down on it. Going as far as using that as an excuse for what she did to her own child.

She only kinda stopped the abuse once you no longer were a small child. Now that you could fight back she did not corner you anymore.

But just because she couldn’t hit you anymore doesn’t mean the picking on you stopped, no, it was her mission to rid you of the last remaining confidence and self love.

In each screaming match she tried so hard to gaslight you into believing you were crazy for feeling offended by her disgusting behavior.

One time you asked why she hit you as a little kid and the answer left you completely blown away. She expressed that you cried so much, and did it to provoke her. What else could she have possibly done other than raise her hand?

Or another time she refused to acknowledge that she hit you at all but a second later told you that perhaps if she would’ve done worse you would’ve turned out better.

At some point you stopped calling her Mom and only went with her name. You knew that it must hurt but did she really deserve that title after everything she did?

Now at 21 years old the relationship is just as rocky, not much has changed.

Your mom has basically zero friends, she’s a bitch of course no one would want to be too close, well except for Joel…..Joel Miller that somehow was her friend.

Perhaps only since they have known each other since High School, he might have felt some kind of obligation towards her due to that. She told you once that Joel was the boy every girl had a crush on with his whole guitar playing thing they all swooned over him.

Even now all those years later Joel was a beautiful specimen, tall, broad shoulders, huge hands, strong arms you’d like to be enveloped by, tanned freckled skin, a cute butt, gorgeous brown curls with slightly gray streaks showing his age, big brown eyes, a prominent nose and soft pillow like lips.

You understand why your Mom had a crush on him, any woman would bend over for him if he’d say so. She thought it was not too noticeable but unlike Joel you caught it immediately.

She made you the reason for her life being so shitty but now after years of torment you saw a chance at really giving her a reason to hate you. Maybe something is wrong with you for liking the idea of breaking her heart so much but you honestly couldn’t care less. The one you felt sorry for most was probably Joel; he would be the pawn in your deranged game without knowing.

As it turns out though Joel is not as innocent as expected, the more you tried to get closer the more you realized he might be easier to seduce than originally anticipated.

You started with small things like hugging him a bit longer than normally so he could feel you perky full tits squished against his chest. Touching his arms and squeezing them but not too much as if to draw attention to it. And from his reactions, he did not seem to mind.

You were not worried about your mother, she never was the most alert to begin with.

When Joel came over for a barbecue you used the time alone with him in the garden while your mother was in the kitchen preparing god knows what to impress him.

Joel and you had some interesting conversations.

“Soooo you work in contracting, right?” You asked him sweetly. Joel chuckled “Yeah sweetheart, I do. But ya know tha’ already, so why ask?” You played it off as much as you could “Just making sure you didn't decide to switch career paths in the time I haven’t seen you…” you look up at him through your lashes, cheekily biting your lip. Joel of course fell into the trap, his eyes going down to your plush lips in mere seconds. Got ya you dirty old men.

You stepped closer until you two were only a couple inches apart. His chest almost touched yours. In this position you really had to Crane your neck up to keep eye contact consistent.

“What are ya doing Baby,huh?” Joel tilted his head slightly down towards your face. You just giggled at him “Nothin Joel, just…” with that you put your hands on his wide chest ruining them down over his enticing slightly protruding belly. “I know you stare at my ass alllllll the time. I also know you like it when I walk close by you and graze you with my tits. My little skimpy outfits turn you on as well don’t they,huh Joel?” You smirk at him.

You can see how he clenches his jaw…ohhh yes you got him figured out.

He hisses low and menacing at you “You are a little slut ain’t ya, baby. Groping a man over double your age. Teasin me with those sugar tits and that tight lil ass….”

You can see his pupils dilate till his eyes look close to being completely blacked out. You muse “Yeah I’m a whore but you like that don’t you?” With that you cup his hard cock over his shorts he decided to wear today.

He gasps and immediately grips your wrist to yank those devilish hands away from his throbbing length. Especially when he hears your mother’s voice calling out from inside the house.

He backs off and tries to catch his breath as well as calm his raging hard on down to an unnoticeable minimum. Before he leaves to figure out what she called for he turns to you and lifts an accusing finger towards you.

“We ain’t done baby, ya gonna make it up to me for teasin and leavin me all high and dry, mkay?” He tilts his head almost to intimidate you but to no avail you’re just a massive brat “Hmmm sure Joeliii but i think your underwear is anything but dry.” You giggle and continue “Probably full of pre cum am I right,huh?”

Joel can’t believe what he’s gotten himself into and just shakes his head while turning to the house.

Somehow he made it through the barbecue without your mother noticing any tension between Joel and you. Stupid of her but good for you.

In the weeks after that afternoon you and him kept secretly meeting up. Most of the time at his house or he’d pick you up with his truck to drive you somewhere where he could have you without any distractions, of course when your mom wasn’t home. She might be stupid but even to her it would be weird why you suddenly start taking trips with Joel and she should not be suspicious.

Also during the talks with Joel that happened when taking a break between fucking it was once again made clear that he for whatever reason had not an ounce of knowledge about your mom’s crush.

The plan for how the reveal should go was set in motion. Your mom was driving out to one of those weird grocery stores that sold the health powders she drowned herself in, in hopes of making her more pretty from the inside out but to no avail the rot can’t be reversed.

You knew how long that would take her, it gave you enough time to fuck Joel in her favorite spot on the couch. Yeah petty and perhaps childish but you don’t care make her remember how you defiled her lovely couch with the man she was in love with.

Joel showed up 10 minutes after she drove off. You barely got the door closed behind him before he pounced on you. It’s been a few weeks since you fucked him last, you wanted him to be desperate for it so he’ll might be more focused on pounding you then notice that your mother is returning.

He immediately slotted his lips over yours, his hands grabbing at your hips with urgency.

You spin with him attached to your lips so you can guide him where you want him, on the couch. His breathing is already elevated and by the significantly evident bulge he’s massively turned on. Good, the less rational thinking the better.

While you push him towards the couch his lips slip down your jaw and land on your throat kissing and sucking all over. Between those kisses he huffs “Babyyy - I’ve - missed - ya so - much…” you just hum as an answer and when the back of his knees hit the edge of the couch he’s forced to unlatch from you.

He falls back, his head hitting the soft pillows so he’s only slightly elevated. You wink at him “yeah I bet you have and most of all He has missed me huh? Looks almost painful, did you not touch yourself in meantime?”

He sounds a bit whiny in his response “No Baby haven’t touched myself, saved it all for ya greedy little pussy.” Even when you think to have the upper hand he reminds you how different it actually is. “Come on baby, why don’t ya take of that lil skirt an’ take seat on my lap.” While grabbing at his crotch.

Your mouth is watering but there’s no time today to get your mouth on him like you usually love to. At his dirty words you can feel some wetness gush from your pulsing cunt, coating the inside of your thighs. As requested you slip your flowy skirt down your legs.

Joel let's out a gasp „No panties baby? Ya naughty little slut.“ he chuckles and you retort „Don’t need them if I’m with you, so why make it harder than it needs to be?“ at that Joel can only nod.

„Come here Sweet Moon Love.“ he demands.

You get on your hands and knees between his spread legs that lay on the couch. Slowly crawling towards him teasing him with your tits that are almost spilling out of your skimpy tank top.

When you finally sit down on his jeans-covered cock he lets out a sound of relief. Your knees on either side of his hips and his hands immediately find home on your hips and ass, kneading and caressing the skin there.

„Fuck Moon ya turn me on so much take of that goddamn top and show me those sweet sugar tits.“

So you do, slipping it over your head and throwing it somewhere behind you. He’s not surprised by the lack of a bra. He knows you hate wearing them and if he’s honest he loves that a lot, easier access and all.

Joel’s hands go from your hips up to the tits he loves so much. Carefully touching them, his warm hands and the wonderful feeling making it unable not to moan. Swiping his calloused fingers over your nipples, twisting them with determination causing you to keen.

You start arching your back towards his groping hands. His administrations cause the pull in your lower stomach to Continuously get stronger. You are convinced his jeans are covered in your juices and without realizing you’ve started to rub your bare pussy over his bulge with vigor.

„Joel enough I need you inside me, now!“ You don’t even wait for a response, lifting your hips and loosening his belt and unbuttoning the buttons of his jeans. With his help you drag his pants down but only so much that you are able to pull his throbbing cock out of the confines that are his blue boxers and you can see a huge dark spot where pre cum leaked, making you look at Joel chuckling „You really want it huh? Daddy” with a sweet lilt that makes his dick Twitch in your hands.

He just groans “Baby Moon if ya don’t sit down on my cock right now I’ll do it myself and I won’t give ya time to adjust.” He threatens but it really only turns you on more.

You peer up at the clock and see that you only have about 15 minutes left.

You take your original position and when his warm length slips through your moist folds his pre cum mixing with your own juices to create an addicting squelching sound.

At this point the dark hair nestling at the base of his cock and his happy trail are completely soaked.

“Gosh, Sweetheart she’s gushing all over me, put it in. She wants my cock don’t keep her waitin” you love when he talks in this way about your cunt, makes you wetter if that’s even possible.

You lift up a bit again and take hold of his length with one hand, the other on his chest to stabilize yourself. Dragging his leaking head through your glossy folds before lining him up with your gushing opening. You take one deep inhale cuz you know it’ll be a stretch even with how often you've done this.

Before sinking down on him you look at him there’s guilt somewhere deep in your conscience but you shake your head, you ain’t backing out now.

You slowly start to sink down when Joel decides it’s not quick enough so he grips your hips and in one swift fast motion sheets his huge dick inside your tight cunt.

“Ahhh..-ah J-Joel what the fuck” you hiss slapping his chest hard for being so impatient.

He huffs “Sorry Baby but Daddy has waited long enough for Her, just shush.” He actually has the audacity to shush you.

You get used to the feeling of being so filled to the brim and slide back & forth for a moment.

Then you put your feet down flat on the couch and grip the headrest behind him before starting to fuck him in earnest. Up and down at first slowly but steadily you get quicker and harder. Joel can’t even speak unless you count his obnoxiously loud moaning and growling.

“Yeah how you like that old man, hmm Daddy you're all quiet this pussy shut you up good, huh?” You wonder and out of nowhere one of Joel’s big hands grips your throat making you slow your movements to a minimum. He pulls your face toward his and grunts “Baby Moon ya need to be put in your place, ya bratty ass is treading on some mighty thin ice.”

He gives you one hard peck and then shoves your face in his neck. You don’t complain, you love when he’s so rough with you and his musky masculine smell is your favorite.

Joel pulls his legs up and plants his feet on the couch just like you did and then he starts to relentlessly push up into you at an alarming speed so hard that if it weren’t for the arm pinning you to his chest you’d fall off.

“Jo-Joel….Joel it’s so good ah…don’t stop” you babble in his ear and opposite to his harsh pounding he soothes “Shhh Baby I know, I know it’s so much for ya and Her. But listen to how much she’s enjoying it.”

And he’s right besides the obscene “plap, plap, plap” of skin hitting skin you can hear the wet squelching from the place you're both connected. “I’m close baby, where?” He asks while slipping a hand between your bodies to touch your neglected clit and immediately your whiny moans get even louder “I-in…inside Daddy. Pleaseee cum inside me.”

You beg and he loves that “Hmm yeah, ya wanna be filled up Baby?” He questions “God yes Daddy fill me up, please pleasee” you want nothing more than to feel him spill inside of you.

Seems that when Joel told you he was kinda deaf in his right ear it wasn’t a lie or maybe the plan of making him so desperate to fuck you that he won’t hear the door unlocking worked out.

But you can hear the slight clicking and the closing of the door. Unlike what you expect she does not start screaming, no, she’s eerily quiet. Perhaps it’s due to not having realized who exactly you're screwing as if there’s no tomorrow or simple shock.

Joel under you seems to have reached his end and without any preamble he starts shooting his warm cum deep inside your tight hole. The warm sensation combined with his unrelenting rubbing your clit pushes you over the finish line too. With that you pull up from his neck and drag him up as well, crossing your arms around his neck and kissing him.

You know she is right there at the threshold, you don’t care and to rub it in even more you say “Thank you Daddy, I love you.” And as if he knows his role Joel answers “I love you too little Moon.”

And that might have been the final straw, she speaks up and it flips out into incoherent screaming. Joel is immediately startled; he lightly pushes you off, quickly tugging himself back into his jeans and getting up to explain. You however get up slowly and put your top and skirt back on.

With the lack of panties you can feel his spend leaking out of you and you’re sure there’s very evident stains on Joel’s jeans that your mother must see.

The back and forth they must be having doesn’t even register to you. The blissful buzzing from the orgasm and the satisfaction of having succeeded in hurting her are making you all dozzy.

But then she comes charging at you screaming in your face “You’re smiling, you think this is funny??? I knew you were a bitch who only ruins everything, you are a worthless piece of shit a absolute waste of space” she’s so hysterical but you don’t care, it’s good she’s showing her true colors for Joel to see.

She continues “You are disgraceful and shameful for the entire family. I want you out of the house now. You are dead to me.” She probably thinks those words could hurt but it’s nothing compared to all the horrible things she did in the past. You just smirk at her nodding which infuriates her more than any comeback could.

With that you slip past her, Joel looks completely stunned by what just unfolded before his eyes. You don’t acknowledge him much, quickly skipping up the stairs,entering your room, grabbing a suitcase and filling it with the most important items. Then shuffling out of your room locking it behind you. You heave the suitcase down the stairs, no sign of Joel all you can hear is her crying in the living room, it amuses you, not an ounce of sympathy left for her. You don’t bother saying bye just open the front door and out you are.

The surprise is waiting in front of the house, Joel, he didn’t leave but instead waited for you.

He looks at you “Did it mean anything to you at all, or was it just a big joke?” He doesn’t look hurt, just confused. You close the distance between him and you “I wish it wouldn’t but it’s not possible to not feel anything, look at you Joel you’re a so beautiful so caring of course I fell for you.” He nods and takes your suitcase out of your hand. “Wh..what are you doing ?” You question “I’m taking ya home Moon, think I’d let you run around these streets? Get in the car” he urges.

And you do, when he drives off you don’t look back once.

Npt: @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @studioghibelli @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @sizzlingcloudmentality @the-mandawhor1an @clawdee @penvisions 🩶

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

[yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere]

new favorite video, yes!!❤️🤍💙 #RWRB #RWRBMovie #RedWhiteAndRoyalBlue thank you Aneesh!!

!! more VERY IMPORTANT RWRB content in this post: https://yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere.tumblr.com/post/739408729011781632/rwrb-this

.https://ew.com/taylor-zakhar-perez-honors-nicholas-galitzine-entertainers-of-the-year-2024-8759399 +CAST OF RED WHITE & ROYAL BLUE |FYC Panel - Consider Amazon:https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/769737016086839297?source=share

Henry Fox & Arthur Fox-post here: https://yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere.tumblr.com/post/738761008290627584/when-alex-texted-henry-yo-theres-a-bond

----from: https://instagram.com/p/C1POyPot_ZC/

+ CMQ spotify (characters' playlists!!) https://open.spotify.com/user/p873j0jdmqn5hye7cakdnub7e/playlists

my RWRB instagram highlight here: https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/18198132073262637/

BTW for everyone interested: Red, White & Royal Blue: Collector's Edition Henry PoV bonus chapter by Casey Mcquiston : https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/752528941905018880?source=share

+ also queer history/facts from RWRB(Alex engaging with queer history)(thank you SO. MUCH. CASEY MCQUISTON!!)-GREAT POST here on tumblr!!-many links here, lots of information! (Waterloo Vase, Stonewall, SCOTUS decision 2015, Walt Whitman, Laws of Illinois 1961, The White Nights Riots, Paris Is Burning, THAT David Wojnarowicz photo 'If I Die Of AIDS-Forget Burial-Just Drop My Body On The Steps Of The F.D.A' https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757305651356729344?source=share (I encourage you to research more about David!!) , Thisbe & Pyramus, The V & A, James I & George Villiers and MORE!!) https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757308307835895808?source=share (Learning about things referenced in Red, White & Royal Blue, thank you @ elipheleh)

THIS SONG IS SO FIRSTPRINCE!! thank you Nick & Taylor, i'm adding it to my RWRB playlist!!

♥. and now some RWRB links here:

Matthew talking about Alex's bisexuality ahead of the movie:

Alex, our ACD, our bisexual king post:

our FIRSTPRINCE post/mostly beautiful pictures/:

FIRSTPRINCE EDITS(post with edits/links♥):

coming out-important post/A's speech(both movie+book versions):

RWRB DELETED SCENES post:

RWRB BLOOPERS/BTS post:

THAT SCENE-Alex and Prince Henry Flirt Over Text:

KARAOKE SCENE:

Them reading RWRB:

!! https://nicostiel.tumblr.com/post/725473496174575616/red-white-and-royal-blue-2023-text-posts

+ https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/729333681897046016/the-delicate-art-of-the-grab-and-kiss?source=share

.

[bullet-prooflove]

Hello!

22. You're my heart and my home

For Mitch Keller please 😊

Tagging: @kmc1989 @dolphs-darling @watermeezer @queenslandlover-93

Companion piece to:

Love Song - Mitch doesn't expect to see you in his bar after all this time.

Clean - Mitch asks you why you're back in town.

With You - Mitch reflects on your past.

Sunshine (NSFW) - You've always been the sunshine in Mitch's life.

It’s the next morning that Mitch asks you the question that’s been playing on his mind all night. You’re operating the coffee machine behind the bar, wearing nothing but his button up shirt when he tugs on his jeans and wraps his arms around you, cradling your close.

“How’s your back?” You ask him, waiting for the beans to brew as he buries his face into the curve of your throat.

“A little stiff.” He mumbles into the curve of your throat. “But that’s pretty good considering we spent the night fucking on the couch.”

Three times you’d ruined him, to say he’s feeling it this morning is an understatement. He needs a hot shower to loosen up some of his muscles but he needs to know…

“Why did you come home?” He asks you. “Why now?”

You lean back against him, sighing as you tip sugar into his coffee mug.

“I saw a Youtube video of you playing a couple of weeks ago.” You say quietly. “You looked clean, happy, healthy. I guess I wanted to see…”

You trail off but Mitch can read between the lines. You wanted to see if it was real, if he’d really kicked the habit or if it was just one of his good days.

“You’ve always been my heart.” You say softly as you turn in his arms to face him. Your palms come to rest on his bare chest, fingertips brushing over the scars etched into his skin from his days in the arena. “You will always be my heart but you know I can’t be around that.”

“I promise you.” He whispers, cradling your face between his hands. “I’m as committed to my sobriety as I am to you, that hasn’t changed.”

“Good, because I want to stay this time.” You say, your fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck as you draw him closer. “I want to stay, right here with you.”

Love Mitch? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[hello-universe-lovers]

SHENANIGANS: where Mai gives headcanons to the Voices in your Head™️ based purely off vibes.

This episode: THE VOICES AT KARAOKE!

((So begins...whatever this is. This is purely dependant on my boredom so we'll see how far this goes. Have a Connie as a prize for reading

Now without further ado...:

VOICE OF THE HERO: The one that is shy to sing but when pushed to sings, she knocks it out of the park. Probably sings whatever popular song is on right now, no specific preference. Awkwardly stands in place as she sings, with lil hand gestures.

VOICE OF THE SMITTEN: The good singer that everyone expects to knock out of the park and no one is disappointed. Probably tries to get people to sing with them or clap, but few actually do. Love songs are top priority. He will dance around the stage.

VOICE OF THE SKEPTIC: Is more content with judging than being judged. But proper probing will get him going. Slow jazz are his vibe but he ends up listening to the song and forgets about singing. He stands in the middle, not moving at all.

VOICE OF THE CHEATED: She was so eager to prove that she could sing. The machine broke before she could start. By the time it's fixed, the mood is gone. Would have loved to sing some classic rock, if she got the chance to. Spends the rest of the night grumpy and eating snacks.

VOICE OF THE PARANOID: Nope, nope, nope, nope, he is not moving from his chair. Too much pressure! Blues is his favorite.

VOICE OF THE STUBBORN: he is putting his entire spirit into this song as if this is a fucking rock concert and not a karaoke room. The song he picked is heavy metal, and mostly screaming. Nobody can understand a word he's screaming. Probably tried to dive off stage and faceplants on the floor.

VOICE OF THE BROKEN: Same as Paranoid but if peer pressured enough, she'll get on stage. Will give it her college try, but she is not that good. Anything slow and smoothe calls to her. Since she doesn't like moving, she'd sing in her seat.

VOICE OF THE COLD: He'll get on stage, then he just...sips his mug through the whole song. He doesn't care enough to pick a favorite so he randomized it. Obviously, no moving.

VOICE OF THE OPPORTUNIST: He said he has a good voice, but when pressed, he'll try to get out of it (saying someone should go first, etc...). But a few stiff drinks later, he can get on the stage. He can actually put that money where his mouth is. Surprisingly picks country music, for whatever reason. (Probably because it's got a nice beat to dance to, which he does when he gets into it.)

VOICE OF THE HUNTED: No one thought he would want to sing, but he did. Buuuuut...it's some song in German or something that no one can understand, so it's hard to tell if he's doing some secret mating call, or he's cursing them out. Also sings where he's seated

VOICE OF THE CONTRARIAN: always the last to sing, after everyone's exhausted and just about ready to pack it up for the night. If her loud and annoying (albeit good) singing didn't woke them all up, the music will. She always picks something upbeat and fast paced, mainly to flex how she can sing it with no mistakes. Can and has gotten others to sing with her (mainly Opportunist and Smitten as back up singers).

BONUS: SHIPPING~ (which voices will sing in pairs)

Smitten and Opportunist: normally they wouldn't. But a drink or 2 later and they're dueting the cheesiest and/or gayest love song in the shuffle.

Cheated and Broken: Broken felt bad Cheated didn't get to, so she offered to duet with her. They ended up harmonizing quite well together and Broken is loud, when she is back up.

Hero and Paranoid: Hero wanted to encourage him to at least try. Ended up singing the majority of the time, but Paranoid starts getting into singing together, by the end. The nervous one is pretty good with a rhythm ;).

Cold and Stubborn: Cold's non-commitment has NO SPACE here!! They're here to have fun, and DAMNIT they will!!! Stubborn sings the loudest song he knows, Cold in his arms. I don't think he noticed that Cold's not actually singing.

Smitten and Hunted: Hunted does good humming for some of the hymns Smitten knows. So they are surprisingly good together.

[st0rmyskies]

I spent the day sweating my ass off at a smaller hometown theme park, so here's a list of how the boys enjoy their day trip to a fun park.

Twilight - He’ll go on any ride with anyone no matter how fast or scary, nor how slow or mundane. Although the teacups and other rides that spin you a lot tend to make him dizzy, and he's not a big fan of the haunted house. But our big soft-hearted country boy is partial to the antique carousel and needs to go on it just once. Come on, guys, anybody…? (Spoiler: They all go on it with him.)

Wild - It’s a wonder he’s going to survive any of the rides because this boy is all about the food. Funnel cake? Candy floss?? Potato pancakes??? Fudge????? Dippin’ Dots!!????!?!? He has his hands full of treats while they’re waiting in every line, and on any ride he can sneak them on to successfully, too. His favorite ride is the music-coaster-thing, and he’ll sing along at the top of his voice to every damn song.

Champion - Not too thrilled by rides, but he will go on them to be a sport. Except those rides with a sheer drop, tower-of-terror style. NO fucking thanks. Where he really slays, though, are the shooting games, with special bonus points if one of the other boys challenges him to a round. You bet your ass Champion is casually lugging around a stuffed Wolfie half the size of his body for most of the day.

Legend - He’ll get on some of the coasters and the crazier rides, but not all of them. He’s not a big fan of screaming his head off all day long, gives him a headache. He gets uppity with the fortune telling machine giving him the same negative reading over and over again no matter how many quarters he jams in the damn thing. And his fortune ends up coming true, too: he gets banned from the bumper cars after a vulgar road-rage incident.

Hyrule - Goes on one, maybe two coasters, and promptly pukes. He’s then the designated Bag Handler for the rest of the day. Which actually works out well, all up until the mid-afternoon when he wanders off to find himself some coffee and promptly gets lost, necessitating a rather embarrassing announcement over the PA system.

Warriors - He stressed out about his outfit for two weeks beforehand and STILL managed to choose the wrong thing to wear. Yes, those linen pants with the front crease are supposed to be breezy, Wars, but they’re meant for something like a wedding, not a fucking amusement park. He gets cranky when he’s too fucking hot and his hair is damp against the back of his neck. Eventually, one of the other boys — probably Legend or Sky — has to shoo him away from the group for a bit. When they turn up 20 minutes later Wars has an icy drink, a pair of novelty swim trunks from the souvenir shop, a headband for his hair, and a brand new “fuck it, we ball” attitude.

Sky - Loves all the roller coasters, LOVES THEM, and gets sad if he doesn’t get to sit in the front seat on every single one. He wants to go on the biggest, tallest, fastest, most OSHA-violating coaster no less than three times, and he’ll hop off of it just to turn around and get right back in line. Least likely to remember to hydrate and reapply sunscreen. You know he’s passed the fuck out that entire drive home. 

Four - He quite enjoys observing the inner workings of the mechanics that go along with the rides, then makes ominous comments about the engineering to his seat-mate as they’re being hauled up the incline for that first drop of a coaster. He also spends an inordinate amount of time in the air conditioned arcade winning as many tickets as he can to obtain some silly prize like an obscure toy from the 80’s or something similar. May not be tall enough to ride every ride.

Wind - Water rides are his JAM. His hair and clothes and shoes are soaked through well before halfway through their day, and he gets the cutest waves in his hair because of it. Although he also smells like chlorine all day, then. Also has way too much ice cream and cold treats during the day, so he’s nursing a hell of a stomach ache on the drive home.

Time - Bet you thought he wouldn’t be in attendance or would wait in the car or some shit, didn’t you? Time allows the boys to cajole him onto every coaster, every water ride, the carousel, into the haunted house, you name it. He’ll sit in the first row of the rides that take your photo, too, and he just. Deadpans it. Zero facial reaction, no screaming on coasters, ALL day. Flawless commitment to the bit. He does secretly enjoy all of this; Time didn’t get to do this sort of stuff when he was their age, so better late than never.

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

Greetings, Ms. Darth! For the Boyd asks, how about how they do at karaoke, and what songs they can be coaxed/bullied/bribed into performing? Bonus for any Blackguard boys you might want to include!

Steve Murphy: He doesn’t like karaoke. He won’t do karaoke. No, doesn’t matter how hard Javi fucking pesters. He said NO. (Cue SpongeBob voice: ~five drinks later~) Well, FINE, he’ll do a fuckin’ duet! You know? Something tells me drunk Steve’s song of choice is either gonna be “I Will Survive” or a kind of mournful “American Pie”. He’s… not a good singer. Javi’s not quite as bad, but he also thinks he’s better than he actually is. The two of them can clear out a bar.

Donald Pierce: He’ll do it in the private karaoke rooms, and only if he’s drunk. He’s a better singer when he’s drunk too – if he’s sober, he self-consciously tries to deepen his voice into a baritone, but when he’s drunk it comes out as a lovely, natural tenor. Either goes for “Horse with No Name” or “House of the Rising Sun” (the Animals version).

Cap Hatfield: Modern Cap actually really enjoys (private) karaoke! He’s got a nice singing voice, and he loves duets. He can do a good “Rocketman” and “Folsom Prison Blues”, although (unlike Holbrook) he doesn’t try to imitate Cash’s low notes and keeps it sweeter and higher.

Clement Mansell: He’s actually kind of shy about karaoke! But he absolutely owns a karaoke machine, and he’ll belt it out alone. His voice isn’t good (as we know!) but like Pierce, I do think it’s because he’s trying to force a baritone (to sound like a man *should*), but he’d have a pretty, crooning tenor if he let himself. He really likes Roy Orbison (confirmed by the showrunner!), so his go-to songs are “Only the Lonely” and “Oh, Pretty Woman”.

The Corinthian: He adores karaoke! I don’t think he does it often, or goes out of his way to do it, but he doesn’t need much prodding at all. He’s… very mid at it. His favorite song to sing is “Losing My Religion”.

Eli Klaber: There’s a couple songs he can do really well (“Jolene” and “Y.M.C.A” are a couple he’s got down) but that’s about it. He… kind of likes karaoke. He prefers doing it in private rooms, but he’s totally fine doing it in front of a bar too.

Danny Maguire: He’ll do it, but he’ll put on this big show of acting like he doesn’t give a shit, and sort of intentionally plays up how crappy he is at it. It’s kind of an unconscious defensive mechanism, because he is genuinely a little insecure about his voice. I think he usually lets other people pick his songs for him. If he was singing by himself, he might go with “Killing Me Softly With His Song” or “Behind Blue Eyes” (drama queen).

Ty Shaw: Oh yeah. He loves karaoke even more than the Corinthian does. He’s… okay! He’s got a terrific stage presence and he’s good at getting everyone to sing along too. He does a pretty decent “Bad Moon Rising”.

Quinn McKenna: He doesn’t love it, and he knows he’s not the best singer, but if he’s out with someone he likes enough and they’re buying the drinks, he’ll grudgingly sing (private room only). He’s done “Umbrella” and actually kind of enjoyed it.

[fawnnpaws]

to add to other anons point.... crack baby by mitski is PATRICKS SONG!!!

CORRECT!!!!!!!! everyone sit down it’s time for fawn goes insane about mitski hour

first of all……… crack baby is absolutely 2019 patrick’s song these lyrics have me gnawing at the bars of my enclosure needing to give him a goddamn hug

like…. 20 year summer vacation, 20 years trying to fill the void of art in his life ARE WE OKAY PATRICK ZWEIG NATION?? NO!!! he’s directionless. he doesn’t know what he wants, he doesn’t know what he needs, because the person who was his north star slipped through his fingers before he could even fight to keep him. he didn’t care about winning the junior doubles, he cared about playing with art. he would have followed him anywhere. not to mention losing tashi when his last words to her were so harsh, only to get her back for a couple feverish fucks and have her go right back to art. art who was his first. patrick zweig you put up a confident front but i see you……….

and while we’re at it let’s do the other two

art mf donaldson is so washing machine heart it hurts. he has his snake tendencies, but at his core he doesn’t want to be left out. even his attempts at manipulation were done out of desperation because tashi was focused on patrick and patrick was at stanford for tashi, not him. he doesn’t want to be forgotten or ignored. so badly, that he stays after he gets cheated on, runs himself ragged playing a career for more than just himself, and when he’s left alone in the early hours of the morning still has to wonder why he was never tashi or patrick’s first choice.

tashi duncan the war you fell in love with was tennis and how can you allow your husband/protege to love you with everything he has when you haven’t been able to fully mourn your first true love? when you’re haunted by the day you were forcibly relegated to the sidelines of the one thing you based your entire life around? the failmarriage affects her, too. the way she knows art wants more from her, needs more, but she can only give so much before her wounds reopen and she has to lick them clean all over again.

BONUS ROUND!!! me and my husband is so 2006/academy artrick to me. art always looking to patrick, always searching for him first in a room full of people, putting him on this pedestal and feeling out of place until they’re side by side. one cannot exist without the other. and patrick planning their futures together, even when their paths diverge with him going pro and art going to stanford, he’s never once thought about his life without art in it. in this lifetime they’re in this together, he’ll place all his bets on art’s furrowed brow, until the day he comes up short and loses it all.

whew anyway…….. they are sad and i want to squeeze them all

[saucyjothoughts]

What would be each of them's go-to song for sex?

I wasn't initially going to answer this because opinions are going to be completely different for every boo (and I don't know any Slovenian music they might be into) but I ended up spending way too long thinking about it so here we go.

Bojan:

Come Together - the Beatles

Kris prefers the Godsmack cover but Bojan prefers the classic.

Wicked Game - Chris Isaak

So erotic and full of emotional turmoil that it's cliché - perfect for Bojan.

Lube - Adam Lambert

We know Bojan loves Freddie Mercury and Queen so it's not a big leap to find Adam Lambert's queer lustsongs.

Beggin' - the Maneskin cover

This song slaps and you can't tell be Bojan doesn't appreciate the opportunity to think about Damiano David when he's coming.

My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion

You know why.

Jan:

Toxic - Britney Spears

Jan probably has multiple Britney songs in his sexytimes playlist but this is his favourite.

FMLYHM - Seether

Fuck Me Like You Hate Me.

Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence

I love the idea of Jan finding this song/band as a teenager and being briefly obsessed. This song is still in his playlists.

Good Boy - Zee Machine

Kinda niche and Jan is always looking for new, lesser known artists. The fun 80s pop sounds that he likes, and shamelessly gay.

Beautiful Dangerous - Slash ft Fergie

You can't tell me Jan hasn't idolised Slash as some point and this song has such dirty female vocals.

Jure:

Hit That - the Offspring

Jure gives me strong Offspring vibes and this song gives slutty stray cat vibes with a perfect thrust tempo.

You Could Be Mine - Guns n Roses

I really wanted to give Jure some GNR and this song is probably in his sex playlist and his motorbike playlist.

Batshit - Sofi Tucker

He particularly enjoys being physical to this song when enjoying recreational substances.

I Was Made For Loving You - the Yungblud cover

This is a brilliant fucksong and I think Jure would love these raspy, raw vocals.

Shake That - Eminem, Nate Dogg

Jure loves an ironically misogynistic party song with a good beat. He also loves ass.

Bonus:

Community Property - Steel Panther

Not sure if this would be in his sex playlist but I'd love to see him try to play it during soundcheck and have Bojan shut him down as soon as he realises what the song is about.

Nace:

Slow n Easy - Whitesnake

I think Nace would appreciate the classics. And the way this song builds echoes how I imagine Nace fucks.

Suck My Kiss - Red Hot Chili Peppers

We know Nace loves Flea and this song is hot.

Crazy - Aerosmith

So smooth and soulful. And have you seen the video?

I Wanna Know What Love Is - Foreigner

Emotional sex and finally feeling like you belong? Yep, that's a Nace song.

Kiwi - Harry Styles

Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect. It reminds him of someone.

Kris:

Apocalyptic - Halestorm

A song about breakup hatefucking.

Feeling Good - the Muse cover

I just love how powerfully this song builds and relaxes and plays, especially for a man who loves edging.

I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys

There had to be some arctic Monkeys in here somewhere, and of course it's this song for Kris.

I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself - the White Stripes cover

A perfect lapdance song. The yearning is real.

Kitchen Light - Xana

A heartbreak fucksong for the king of pining. It's not about anyone in particular. Nope, definitely not.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

the cockles masterlist, part 6

now split in SIX parts for link limit reasons

WARNING: this post glitches and crashes on mobile. it’s recommended you view this on your desktop, or at least on your mobile browser rather than the app. if my desktop theme is hard on your eyes, try an extension such as Just Read or Reader View to customize the layout and colors.

if you’re still having trouble viewing, or if you don’t want to have to switch between the five posts, here’s all of the links compiled into a google doc.

welcome to the cockles masterpost, a labor of love/insomniac hyperfixation.

i recently wrote this cockles manifesto, but after it got a lot of notes and i kept adding more links to it, i decided i should just go through my 8 years of archives and compile all the cockles posts in a much more accessible and navigable way. after everything with the series finale and destielgate, i figured we could use some happiness, and it turns out there are a lot of people who’ve never heard the cockles gospel.

important disclaimer: yes, i do think that jensen and misha have a private romantic/sexual relationship, but no i do not, in any way, think that they have ever cheated on their wives. we think they are polyamorous, which is a real and valid thing, and misha is openly poly. some people love more than one person, and that’s okay. their families are close and we love and support all of them.

second important disclaimer: despite the amount of innuendo below, this is not about fantasizing about two hot guys fucking. cockles is about the joy of witnessing two people who love each other and make each other happy and are disgustingly cute together. we’re not fetishizing, we’re just appreciating what they publicly share with us.

third important disclaimer: because some of y’all don’t know, the cardinal rule of cockles is that we don’t talk to cockles about cockles. DO NOT leave any comments on their social media accounts implying anything. not even green and blue hearts. they know that we know, but it’s on us not to make it weird. if we’re too obvious and say too much, they might start sharing less. don’t say anything.

for the sake of my sanity, these are in no particular order.

last updated: 3/8/23

🐚 denotes new content

part 1 (That’s Suspicious, mishananigans)

part 2 (#pray4jensen, gag reel hijinks, some posts i’ve written about cockles and rps)

part 3 (know your cockles history, the intimacy)

part 4 (the glory of jibcon)

part 5 (just for cute)

the glory of jibcon continued:

jib11 opening ceremony whispers and giggles

jensen turning his back as misha walks up to hug him | more gifs | video

"just swallow it" "he's always giving that advice" | video

"[danneel] does refer to misha as her boyfriend. which is funny, because so do i." | more gifs | video | fan discussion of this moment

misha sitting on the floor to watch jensen sing, jensen getting shy

jensen serenading misha with "angeles" | video angle 1 | video angle 2 | video of jensen looking at misha, getting flustered, and stopping suddenly | more gifs | photo | misha sitting on the floor watching | another misha photo | the significance of ‘angeles’

"i think you look nice and dapper" ... "then [jensen] went in for a kiss and i was like, whoa!" "hey, when in rome!"

the destiel song they improvised together | video | gifs minus lyrics

big dad angry machine

"i've been haunted by those bear underwear for some time"

jensen "woo!"ing when misha mentions gotham knights

jensen's face going soft when he looks from jared to misha | video

after misha says a unicorn toy is vibrating "for her pleasure", jensen pretends to sit on it | gif

misha moves his chair further away, jensen scoots his closer | video | “what are we doing? am i coming over?”

jensen spinning the wheel then staring at misha for ten seconds straight | video | photos

jensen tells everyone to stop cheering for misha to sing after misha makes it clear he doesn't want to | gifs + bonus “there goes jared with his job security” 👀

jensen winking at misha

jensen saying he's going to plan a big birthday party for misha's 50th, which is more than a year away | video

"you're my canary" | video

whispers and laughing (feat. misha's missing tooth) | photos

"i love those dishes" "you love those bitches??"

misha hyping jensen's new album | video

"my caretaker tells me i had a very nice birthday."

jensen staring at misha’s ass when he bends over

"this is our song"

roasting jared for bragging sam is tougher than dean | gifs

jensen staring at misha before making a birthday wish

riffing on “the european version of spn”: one, two, three, four

chatting about taking their families to amusement parks, jensen refers to misha as ‘daddy’

jensen’s nickname kink in full swing at jib11

12 years of jibcon secrets

head-leaning selfie with briana buckmaster | edit

2023 jibcon11 tag



just for cute (continued):

adorable photo ops: 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92   93 94

2012 spn wrap party photo

300th episode red carpet flirting

"misha decided jensen was the gift" photo op

hand measuring photo op

[docholligay]

I liked the folk song you exposed me to. If you feel like it, the first five that hit your mind go! I'll look them up and have a listen ^‿^

Boy I wish I could remember what folk song that was ahahah. I listen to a LOT of folk. A Favored genre. I basically listen to folk and country and then running music. Bless you for not asking for me to pick songs that are my favorites or particularly great, those almost always paralyze me for whatever reason.

HERE'S THE LAST SIX I PLAYED ON YOUTUBE THAT I THINK ARE MORE FOLK THAN COUNTRY

Billy Bragg -- Between The Wars

Iron and Wine--Passing Afternoon

Dave Carter--When I Go (Doc why are there two songs in a row about death? Mind your business, if you're not careful I'll make a whole playlist of the very best of death.)

Bright Eyes-- Land Locked Blues

Trials of Cato-- Gawain

Colter Wall--Sleeping on the Blacktop

And here's three bonus "if you know nothing about folk music here's some important foundational American Contemporary Folk music that you may have never heard" songs (In MOST of these the singers are important but the songs are just, ones I like)

Woody Guthrie-- I ain't got no home in this world-- You know this dude. He wrote "This land is your land". He's the one that has the guitar that says "This machine kills fascists" (Boy whenever people post something referring to that I want to be like, "WHOSE FUCKING GUITAR IS THAT FROM??? TELL ME WHO! TELL ME NOW!"

Pete Seeger -- What Did You Learn in School Today -- you know many many songs by this man. They have been covered by many many people. he wrote "Turn, Turn, Turn" he wrote 'Where Have All the Flowers Gone" he wrote "if I had a hammer" It is BUCKWILD to me that more people don't know who Pete Seeger is. Anyway i picked this song because both he and the below are part of my larger reeducation program that all generations have been politically aware, actually.

Phil Ochs--Draft Dodger Rag-- I fucking love Phil Ochs. He was the first one, by most reasonable evidence, to publish a protest song that named Vietnam by name. He was deeply critical of the US government. He wrote my favorite patriotic song too, though. He was a biting, funny, aggressive Jewish man who started fights even within his own circles (He directly attacks Pete Seeger, I know of at least, in one song. Bob Dylan shoved him out of a limo because Phil was dogging on his songs) and did not know when to fucking quit, and got himself into trouble. I consider his suicide to be one of the great tragedies of the music world, but also not the most surprising thing on God's green and verdant earth. I could give you just a top five Phil Ochs songs. Anyway, I picked this song because everyone picks the aggro ones, but I like also when he's funny. ANYWAY.

[fanficfanattic]

Will you share your Jamie Tartt playlist? 👀

Buckle up boys! Hold on to your butts! Other ways to say brace yourselves!

To Build a Home (feat. Patrick Watson) by The Cinematic Orchestra

I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young

Sorrow by Bad Religion

The Greatest by Sia

Love I'm Given by Ellie Goulding

Runaway by AURORA

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths

Move by Oliver Tree

High Hopes by Panic! At the Disco

Outrunning Karma by Alec Benjamin

Home by Cavetown

The Perfect Space by The Avett Brothers

A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley

False Confidence by Noah Kahan

Legend by The Score

The Competition by Kimya Dawson

In the Blood by John Mayer

Winner by Walgrove

Icarus by Bastille

Sympathy by The Goo Goo Dolls

Take Yours, I’ll Take Mine by Matthew Mole

People Help the People by Birdy

Daylight by David Kushner

Cough it Out by The Front Bottoms

Sober by P!nk

The Cave by Mumford & Sons

Tear It Up by Queen

Waves by Dean Lewis

Soldier by Ingrid Michaelson

We Don't Believe What's On TV by Twenty One Pilots

Blood In the Cut by K.Flay

Chameleon/Comedian by Kathleen Edwards

Water (feat. Rostam) by Ra Ra Riot

All is Soft Inside by AURORA

Pieces (feat. Noah Kahan) by Matoma

Dog Days Are Over by Florence + the Machine

Rise up With Fists!! by Jenny Lewis & The Watson Twins

Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips

HandClap by Fitz and The Tantrums

Hi Ren by Ren

I Don't Belong In This Club by Why Don't We & Macklemore

Skinny Love by Birdy

Raising Hell (feat. Big Freedia) by Kesha

Go Places by The New Pornographers

The Night Starts Here by Stars

Ghost by Ella Henderson

Here We Go by WILD

If I Be Wrong by Wolf Larsen

Part of Me by Noah Kahan

We're Going to Be Friends

The White Stripes

Bitch by Meredith Brooks

Samson by Regina Spektor

Let's go to Hell by Tai Verdes

Raise Hell by Brandi Carlile

Power Over Me by Dermot Kennedy

Don't Tell the Boys by Petey

Sober Up (feat. Rivers Cuomo) by AJR

O.N.E. By Yeasayer

Locked Up by Ingrid Michaelson

Like a Stone by Audioslave

Leave the Light On by Overcoats

Tough (feat. Noah Kahan) by Quinn XCII

touch tank by quinnie

Warrior by AURORA

Too Sweet by Hozier

I'Il Think of You by Kurt Hugo Schneider

Into the Ocean by Blue October

Star Fire by Sleeping Wolf

Happier (Stripped) by Marshmello & Bastille

Knievel by Tommy Lefroy

Walk Me Home by P!nk

Brat (Humor Me) by Deore

Am I Wrong by Love Spit Love

Someday by One Republic

7 Years by Lukas Graham

Stick Season by Noah Kahan

Like a Prayer by Madonna

Little Bit by Lykke Li

Bruises by Lewis Capaldi

Don't Carry It All by The Decemberists

Freaking Out by The Wrecks

Will Do by TV on the Radio

The Dirt by Tor Miller

Hope of Morning by Icon for Hire

Smile by Mikky Ekko

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight by The Postal Service

Blood Brothers by Ingrid Michaelson

All My Friends by The Revivalists

Fuck Authority by Pennywise

Crazier Things by Chelsea Cutler & Noah Kahan

Kiss With a Fist by Florence + the Machine

Unstoppable by Sia

Can't Go to Hell by Sin Shake Sin

World's Smallest Violin by AJR

All I Know So Far by P!nk

Knocking at the Door by Arkells

Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons

The Seed by AURORA

Wine, Women and Song by Harvey Danger

The Cult of Dionysus by The Orion Experience

All You Wanted by Michelle Branch

Young Blood by The Naked and Famous

Truth No. 2 by The Chicks

Homesick by Noah Kahan

Family Line by Conan Gray

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives

Heroes Never Die by NateWantsToBattle

My Number Tegan and Sara

Masterpiece by Big Thief

Til It Happens To You by Lady Gaga

I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Cups Version) by Kurt Hugo Schneider

Sit Down by James

Robots by Dan Mangan

Windowsill by Arcade Fire

Be OK by Ingrid Michaelson

Bite the Hand by boygenius

The Top (Bonus Track) by Primo the Alien

MEAN! (Remix) [feat. Noah Kahan] by Madeline The Person

Home We'll Go (Take My Hand) by Steve Aoki & Walk Off the Earth

From The Bottom Of My Heart by The Wallflowers

FourFiveSeconds by Rihanna and Kanye West and Paul McCartney

I Am the Resurrection by The Stone Roses

Chrome Plated Heart by Melissa Etheridge

Precious Love by James Morrison

Bones (feat. One Republic) by Galantis

Let's Go (feat. Icona Pop) by Tiesto

Unbelievers by Vampire Weekend

So What by P!nk

I Don't Feel Like Dancin' by Scissor Sisters

Creature Fear by Bon Iver

Brother by The Rural Alberta Advantage

Save Me by Noah Kahan

High and Dry by Radiohead

Power by Little Mix

Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men

The Boy Does Nothing by Alesha Dixon

Set You Free (Edit) by N-Trance

Stronger by Britney Spears

First Things First by Neon Trees

Kings & Queens by Ava Max

Welcome Home, Son by Radical Face

Capsize by FRENSHIP & Emily Warren

We Were Kings by Ryan Star

Come Undone by Duran Duran

Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John

Pride by Noah Kahan & mxmtoon

Everywhere by Michelle Branch

Blow Me (One Last Kiss) by P!nk

Dust Bowl Dance by Mumford & Sons

Bad Blood by Bastille

Blue Monday by New Order

Make Believe by The FAIM

Midnight Show by The Killers

Can't Fight the Moonlight by LeAnn Rimes

Ophelia by The Lumineers

Shaky Ground by Freedom Fry

Grounds for Divorce by Elbow

Heaven and Hell by Let's Play Dead

Survivor by The Score

Ready Now by dodie

Young Blood by Noah Kahan

Ain’t No Reason by Brett Dennen

King by Years & Years

Bulletproof by La Roux

Beating Heart Cadavers by Acollective

How to Rest by The Crane Wives

Santa Monica by Everclear

Beds Are Burning by Midnight Oil

Get Some by Lykke Li

Sky Full of Song by Florence + the Machine

Beautiful Trauma by P!nk

Parachute (Serban Ghenea Mix) by Ingrid Michaelson

Down to the Bottom by Dorothy

YES MOM by Tessa Violet

Numb Little Bug by Em Beihold

Rise Up by Andra Day

Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Hurt Somebody by Noah Kahan

[extraordinaryhistories]

#20 - 'Joy! Joy! Joy!' (A Sun Came bonus track, 2004)

Here’s the scoop, kids: there is no personal heaven. Jesus died to redeem you, but he also died to redeem everyone; in the eyes of the Lord, all are equal. That means that everyone on Earth has equal responsibility to pray, to worship, to love, to show mercy, to show grace unto their brothers just as they would have it be done to them. Issue is, some people need a little more of a nudge towards their God than others. How’re we gonna do that, then? How do we bring all the peoples of all the nations towards peace and a divine understanding?

Answer: we do it via synthesisers, drum machines, and a million vibrant flecks of technicolour.

And in this way, the annoyingly-punctuated ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’ is a real sea change, quite unlike anything on the album it’s appended to – or anything that Sufjan was trying at the time, really. Don’t let its status as a bonus track on A Sun Came mislead you: ‘Joy! Joy! Joy’ was recorded in 2001, right around the recording of the Steve Reich-meets-Kraftwerk sophomore release Enjoy Your Rabbit. Its deeply electronic stylings make a lot more sense when considered in that context. And yet they don’t, because ‘Joy! Joy! Joy’ is something that every song on Enjoy Your Rabbit decidedly is not: a structured, melodic, vocally-driven conventional song, with lyrics and chords and a lot of synths. Not at all a shock for Sufjan to write a song like this, but certainly a shock for him to write it at this period in his development - this could pass as a Silver and Gold song, or even an Age of Adz b-side, produced some nine years before his most iconic bloopfest was released. It bears repeating that that’s the beautiful thing about this era of his music. Sufjan’s unyielding experimental drive is the very reason he has become who he is today, and you can see his fledgling brilliance in these early off-cuts, nicked and scuffed though they may be. More simply: to get to an ‘Impossible Soul’, Sufjan first had to write a ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’.

There is no doubt that ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’ is a fascinating curio, but to leave its appraisal there would be to patronise what is a genuinely endearing, adorable, good-natured bit of songwriting and production. Age of Adz is a very crowded album, with detritus seeping out of every corner of nearly every song, but ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’ is ‘I Want to Be Well’ on various exotic varieties of crack cocaine. At its peak it is absolutely frantic and brickwalled to high heaven – one gets the distinct impression a lot of time was spent on this one, because holy fuck is there an abundance of stuff going on here. Warbling synths release bubbles; computers glitch; vibraphones execute code; guitars scream; layers upon layers upon layers of drum machines attack the song’s pulse. When it all piles up, the sound is frenzied. I suppose this is the song’s weakest feature – there’s no single instrumental element that stands out from the sludge of the production, and it all gets a bit tiring – but there are far more egregious sins committed on songs around this time.

The surprising thing about ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’ is that it doesn’t feel tokenistic. We can say this in retrospect far more easily, of course, now that we have a wealth of Sufjan electronica to pull from (and that one of those pieces of Sufjan electronica is considered by many to be his absolute finest work.) But short of the too much-ness of the production, this one actually feels complex and lived-in, and each individual element feels like the work of someone with far more experience in synth-based music than 2001-era Sufjan. That’s just emblematic of something mysterious that happened to the young songwriter around the turn of the millennium – a sudden, dramatic leap in songwriting prowess, as if all the relentless trial and error forced a switch to flip somewhere in him. The Sufjan of 1998 would have almost certainly made a mess of this song.

The Sufjan of 1998 would have also failed in another crucial way: he would not have been able to nail the song’s emotional thrust as well as he ended up doing. No prizes for guessing it – ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’ is an ecstatically hopeful piece of music. Glee seeps out of every corner here, from the idiosyncratic computer glitches that fill the void between each drum hit at the song’s outset (a very well-done element reminiscent of classic Autechre) to the insistently major key chord progression. This is also true for the vocal melody. The verses have one of the odder and more out-of-character melodies I’ve heard from Sufjan; the note that he resolves to at the end of every other line (‘yes, I would like to be a man’) carries with it this sort of child-like clunkiness, saccharine even by Sufjan standards. No hints of the relative minor anywhere in this song, right through to the chorus, which neatly resolves the final syllable on the root note each and every single time. It is a resolutely positive-sounding song, almost awkwardly so – not that anyone should expect anything different from a song named ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’ (so! many! loud! exclamations!). Not nearly as listenable as any of his later contented melodies, though. No pentatonic major to be found here.

Though I suppose that’s in keeping with the song’s lyrical themes. This is, like much of Sufjan’s earliest material, a Christian song, and one that insists on Christian orthodoxy in a way that seems very unhip to us modern heathens. When one thinks of Sufjan’s reckoning with his Christianity in music, one tends to think of the moments where he doesn’t appear so Christian at all. Sufjan Stevens is probably the greatest Atheist-baiter in all of popular music, and I suspect this is part of the reason that he is still so revered among the chronically God-hating cadre of online music snobs. We think immediately of ‘we lift our hands and pray over your body, but nothing ever happens’, or ‘don’t do to me what you did to America’; the moments where Sufjan expresses righteous doubt, direct challenge to God. Us atheists like it, I suspect, because we feel as if Sufjan is batting for our team here. Hell yeah, we say, you stick it to ‘em!  

I feel as if Sufjan has become viewed this way for a while now – indie music’s resident self-hating Christian, t.A.T.u. for lapsed Catholics, the man who keeps implying that one day he might just do it! He might just go ahead and cast out God once and for all! (I remember a few interviews around the release of The Ascension in which the interviewers really pushed this angle.) It’s a tempting narrative, and more importantly, an easy narrative to latch onto. Apparently too easy. Because Sufjan really is one of the most, if not the most, dyed-in-the-wool Christians in the ‘cool’ modern music scene. If his songwriting and interviews are anything to go by, he is a progressive Christian in some senses, but he is a flaming fundamentalist in most others. This is most evident in his earlier, less studied work. ‘We Are What You Say’ presents a God that will strike down nonbelievers with the force of a small supernova. ‘A Sun Came’ does exactly the same. And then there’s ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’, which is literally a song about the importance of reading the Bible closely. Like, very closely ‘Every letter, every line.’

Why should you read every letter, every line? Because it’s the only way to truly live in adherence to ‘the Kingdom’s will’. It is, as Sufjan curiously sings, also the solution for those who ‘would like to be a man’ – interesting because it directly pushes the song into somewhat atypical territory for Sufjan, where issues of gender and masculinity are directly (not implicitly) considered. I suppose this line can be read in two ways. Reading Scripture affirms one’s masculinity directly – God inherently consecrates, validates and solidifies our identity, making us all more comfortable in our own skin – and implicitly – to be an ardent follower of the text is to develop discipline, attentiveness and a fundamental ‘knowing-ness’, all traditionally masculinist qualities. Or perhaps Sufjan speaks of ‘man’ not as man-the-gender but as man-the-species, and thus argues that humanity was born from, and should naturally return to, God’s word. It is one of the more interesting lyrics from Sufjan’s early work. Plenty of ambiguity there.

The remainder of the song is less ambiguous. The four variations of the chorus here: ‘I believe in page’, ‘I read every page’, ‘I believe in peace’, and ‘I believe in joy’. The links between these lines are very clear. This is a song about joy, but it’s a song about the Bible as a conduit of joy, the only path to a sustainable world happiness. We get this spelled out to us quite explicitly in a sort of adorable quasi-bridge section that only a young Sufjan would have come up with. In a sudden transition to spoken word, Sufjan glibly asks Sharia Nova (his long-time backing vocalist and frontwoman of My Brightest Diamond, who was already involved with his projects in this early stage) what she believes in. The answer? ‘Peace and justice for all’, immediately followed by a chaotic drum break. Get your asses on the floor in the name of peace and justice!

I find this moment endearing because it is the sort of knowingly-schlocky juvenilia that Sufjan would call back to on his 2016 tour especially. Its naïveté fits the song snugly. The answers to life’s hardships, sorrows, dilemmas and difficulties? Not so difficult after all, actually. You’ll find them if, and only if, you read every page. Cause and effect. Read God’s word, find peace. Find joy.

And so ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’ is one of the most uncomplicatedly, unquestioningly Christian songs in Sufjan’s entire body of work. It’s a crowded field, but this one very much stands out: a song about the glee of orthodoxy and the orthodoxy of glee, a welcome inclusion amidst countless songs that view Christianity with reverent dourness (pre-Illinois) or direct cynicism (post-Illinois). The unyielding torrent of sugar that composes ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’ will inevitably be off-putting to many; its dearth of subtlety and promulgation of an approach to Christianity that many modern faithful no longer subscribe to can only have limited appeal, if we treat this song only as a lyrical product.

Part of what makes Sufjan so outstanding is that everyone can find a part of themselves in his best music. It’ll be hard for many people to find a part of themselves in ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’. Fair play, then: judge ‘Joy! Joy! Joy!’ by its musical merits alone. There are plenty of them. Unbridled happiness is everywhere here, and it’s created by way of a musical style that makes this one so ahead of its time that it seems absurd to find it as a bonus track on A Sun Came. So much so, in fact, that I am almost surprised that Sufjan never considered playing this one on any of his late period synth-heavy tours. Not the smoothest or most listenable song that Sufjan has ever created, but it is better than it has any right to be. It executes its message with a startling clarity:

This is the happiness that God has given us! Rejoice! Rejoice! Rejoice!

[theslvttysimp]

Nu Metal MC

!silly little headcanons!

You are an MC who listens to metal, nu metal, and alternative music. Your music taste has rubbed off on the demon bros! Here's what I think they would listen to!

Lucifer

You can't tell me that Lucifer doesn't like System Of a Down. With their political, anti-war lyrics, Luci is on that like white on rice.

He claims he isn't fond of your music, but one time while walking past his study, you heard "Attack" by SOAD playing. He denies it to this day.

Asmo

He for SURE listens to the Deftones. Deftones were made for the horny bitches, and he's one of them.

He'll rub himself in front of the mirror with the Deftones playing in the background. We've all been there, I don't blame him.

Satan

He seems like a Limp Bizkit kind of man to me. He's so angry all the time, and once he heard you play Limp Bizkit near him, he wrote the band's name down on his bookmark for later.

When he's in a fit of rage he'll play a Bizkit song to help him let go of his anger. What can he say, it's just one of those days.

Mammon

He's a fan of Rage Against the Machine. He's the definition of " fuck you, I won't do what ya tell me."

He heard you play "Bulls on Parade" and that was it. If Lucifer tells him not to do something, he'll listen to Rage Against the Machine to pump himself up and do it anyway. No wonder he's always in trouble.

Beel

He is a man of good taste in food AND music. He likes Primus.

He thought they sounded kind of weird at first, but he then realized some of their songs are REALLY good to work out to. His favorite album is "Pork Soda", that's self-explanatory.

Belphie

Belphie is a Korn lover.

Belphie is a bratty one, and brats love Korn (as do I)

He heard you play " A.D.I.D.A.S" and the shit eating smirk this man had on his face makes your eyes roll just thinking about it. He'll tease you for listening to it, but for sure will jam out to it later in the attic.

Levi

He likes Coheed and Cambria due to the "viking battle" sounding music. (Best way I can describe it, but you know what I'm saying)

When he's in cosplay where swords are involved, he'll blast Coheed and pretend he's fighting a real-life boss battle in his room.

BONUS

Solomon

He's totally a Tool fan.

Fibonacci sequence ain't got nothing on him.

[cigarettesandinevitablebetrayal]

Cigs' Playlist Prompts

Special prompt set I've been meaning to do. All of these lyrics are pulled from songs off the character playlists I've made. Inbox me one that interests you and I'll freewrite at least 1k words based on the characters I associate with it. Bonus 1k added if you wanna guess whether it's for Rashad, Remus, Seongwon, Mateo, Corin, Cassian, or Miro - correct or not (there's 4 per character - none for Loren or Alek, tragically, as they're too new).

Turnaround will be a bit, so feel free to come off anon, if you'd like to be notified. Prompts below:

I should have told you from the start // That I've got glue inside my heart // I'll stick with you until it's final beat - Weird by Elliot Lee

You read it wrong // A bold faced fever // You've stolen everything you believe - Cairo by San Fermin

Tonight you'll make your toast // Oh, to better days when all had seemed so right // I hear your heartbeat thumping // Screaming, "Honey, don't let me go" // I know you want to stay // But I'm already gone - Love Murder One by Coheed & Cambria

Get the fuck off my stage, I'm the Sandman // Get the fuck off my dick, that ain't right // I make a play fuckin' up your whole life - HUMBLE. by Kendrick Lamar

And in the wreck of all we burnt // Stands a piano like a wound // I play our song to see if it's in tune - Ruin by The Amazing Devil

All I see is red all around me // My chest was tight like I'm drowning // When I sleep, my thoughts are like lightning // When I breathe, it feels so exhausting // Like I'm incomplete; slowly falling - Starlight by Akera Sky

But the teeth come out when the camera flashes // We said we'd always be the same // But we lost each other in the game - LA Hallucinations by Carly Rae Jepsen

They tell me I'm hellbent on revenge // I cut my teeth on weaker men // I won't apologize again - Good Girls by Chvrches

They sent your heroes to the guillotine // And now they're loading up their magazines // Misinformation is a beauty queen - Guillotine by Barns Courtney

I needed revolution // I never had a war in mind // And now the river runs dry and the fall is deep // The truth is dark and it makes us bleed - Don't Pray for Me by Within Temptation

It's the thinnest line // They hung you out by // You were holding my hands and saying // What if I only ever took what's mine? - Steal by Maribou State

Sometimes it feels like we're frozen in time // Floating in space, lines undefined // We can't free ourselves from chains // Our love forever changed - Reveal by Rabbit Junk

Mass destruction and mass corruption // The souls of suffering men // Clutching on deaf ears again // Rapture is coming // it's all prophecy and // If I gotta be sacrificed for the greater good // Then that's what it gotta be - Pray for Me by The Weeknd and Kendrick Lamar

But if you let me be your skyline // I'll let you be the wave // That reduces me to rubble // but looked safe from far away - The Ghosts of Beverly Drive by Death Cab for Cutie

I ain't never scared and I ain't never horrified // I just look down at my Rolex, it said it's the darkest times // I ain't never terrified, I ain't never petrified // You know I see dead people, I just tell 'em, "Get a life" - Scared of the Dark by Lil Wayne, Ty Dolla $ign, and XXXTENTACION

She's been watching for a century // With hatred and with scorn // If you know the hunter's coming // Then you hide or keep on running // 'Cause she's slain the gods before - Godhunter by Aviators

Tell me who's stopping this // Then I'm dropping the bitches that's gon' top your list // All 'em talking, they sitting, just popping shit // Use to listen but, bitch, I am auditing - Who's Better? by DaddyPhatSnaps

Dragged further away from the shore // And deeper into the drink // Rotting like a wreck on the ocean floor // Sinking like a siren that can't swim anymore - Swimming by Florence + the Machine

Cover me in all your platinum // I'm wanting how they look at you // I'm tired of feeling numb - No Problems by ONICKS

Who will burn who // As I catch you // Burning through seven nights // When not all is right - The Viles by Blaqk Audio

And I walk // And I walk // Knowing every last one of them is painted in light // As I make myself acquainted with the saint of never getting it right - Blossoms by The Amazing Devil

No moments alone // No moments to share // In search of a key // You know is not there - Loreley by Lord of the Lost

People are fuel // Everybody burns // Just a little push and maybe some will learn // What a life is like // What it's like to burn - Cover My Traces by Reach

Well I drank, sipped, sucked it up // Threw every last shred of hope in the cup // Then knocked it back // World fades to black // Not quenched until I drown - Delirium Tremendous by Felix Hagan & the Family

There's only two ways to make it in this town // One is to be brilliant // The other is to drown - Neon Medusa by The Midnight

You're in the walls that I made with crosses and frames // Hanging upside down // For granted, in vain, I took everything // I ever cared about - The Death of Peace of Mind by Bad Omens

And how does it feel now // You've scratched that itch? // You've pulled out all your stitches // Hubris is a bitch - 100 Years by Florence + the Machine

Somewhere on the road you changed // Shot down by the life you chose // A losing game // And now that you're on the ride // Mirror, mirror, please don't watch me cut my ties - Catch Me If You Can by The Scarlet Opera

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Henry’s little karaoke performance (or lack of) has me wondering:

How each of the guys who lives at 179th Crescent Street feel about a good old karaoke night?

Who likes it? Who needs alcohol or weed to participate?

What’s their favourite song?

I get to talk about my boys? I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY BOYS!!!

Thank you so much for this ask and... let's get right to it! I added the ladies too because... Well I was having fun with this and I can use a little bit of that right about fucking now so, that's why <3

179th Crescent Street Karaoke Headcanon

Series Masterlist

@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @ellethespaceunicorn @livisss @summersong69 @ylva-syverson @poledancingdinos @sillyrabbit81

Will our favourite man-child sing? Absolutely

Does he need to be drunk? No

Will it be good? Absolutely the fuck it won’t!

Will being drunk help? That depends.

Him being drunk won’t make him sing better, you being drunk might help make it bearable though.

Will probably sing Barbie girl, Girls just wanna have fun, 9 to 5, Wannabe, ... Baby one more time (You get the idea)

100% guaranteed to look ridiculous, 120% guaranteed to not really give a fuck.

(Bonus: no secondhand embarrassment necessary because this boy gets up there with CONFIDENCE)

(And if anyone makes fun of him he looks them dead in the eye and goes “Okay, your turn, then?”)

(They never do.)

Will need copious amounts of alcohol, yes

But absolutely will sing.

Alternatively; needs no alcohol when Angie begs him. He will say yes to her. Always.

(This man is whipped and he loves it.)

Not horrible, but not great

Does Angels kinda well, actually!

Highly unlikely

But he has this rare mood...

He’s not bad, either.

Sings something like Summer of ’69 or Living on a prayer.

You’d sooner catch him singing in the shower though.

Will gladly serenade Lexi

In private

He’ll sing her Heaven

No.

I would love to see you try to get him up there

I mean... He SHOULD

He sometimes sings The sound of silence while making dinner (Disturbed, not S&G, of course)

It’s to die for!

But no.

Won’t do it.

Can’t make him.

You can’t convince me this smooth motherfucker doesn’t have the voice of an angel.

He might need some liquid courage

(to find the motivation rather than the nerve, though. He’s nothing if not confident...)

Imagine this man making eyes at you while singing I want it that way?

Like. Excuse you, ma’am, but no matter what you say you’re going home with him.

When there’s no girl to impress he’ll go with Africa or Every breath you take.

Once

After the hockey team won the finals

The whole team sang “We are the champions”

He has no recollection of this

What he does remember is the 2 girls that were in his bed when he woke up, the 2 glasses of water that got tossed in his face because he didn’t remember either of their names, which did nothing to cure the hangover he would have for 2 days because he had WAY 2 (haha get it?) much to drink.

There’s a video

Somehwere..

It’s hilarious

He’s bad

Very, very bad

Do not get this man drunk near a karaoke machine.

Okay maybe do it once, because it’s funny.

Shania Twain. Taylor Swift.

Do I need to say more?

Actually yes I do.

He doesn’t have a horrible voice, but he’s drunk, so...

If you manage to persuade him before he’s plastered, he’ll sing Tennessee Whiskey and he won’t sound half bad, actually!

After that... Just picture this man singing Man! I feel like a woman.

He doesn’t get away with looking silly the way Mike does, but also couldn’t care too much so there’s that.

Not a fan of publicly humiliating himself

And knows himself well enough to know he can’t sing

So, logically, no.

Bonus; The girls!

Danielle

Can sing well, usually

But she’s too anxious to sing without getting absolutely hammered.

And by then it won’t sound so good.

Not to mention this uncoordinated mess will probably trip over a cable and break an ankle

Maybe if Mike holds her they can pull off Don’t go breaking my heart? 🥺 That would be really cute.

Anjelica

By now we’ve established that Ange can do anything

A little liquid courage is necessary, but nothing 2 shots of tequila can’t fix

She likes to sing Valerie or No One

And she will 100% absolutely fucking SLAY.

She’s a queen, ok?

Elena

Good voice.

Took singing lessons when she was younger, actually

Her mom forced opera on her though, which she hated, so she quit.

Can, and will, sing Celine Dion if given half a chance

You have not lived until you’ve heard her sing My heart will go on.

Sherlock may or may not have cried. Idk.

Solveig

Can sing

Will not

Alexandra

When hell freezes over

When Easter and Pentecost fall on the same day

Over her cold, dead body

No.

(Sings in the shower. Does not do so very well.)

Alicia

Will get up there stone cold sober

Will perform her sexy li’l ass off

Will serve Absolute. Fucking. Cunt.

Before He Cheats was written for this woman.

Carrie Underwood who?

Ariel

Will do it for fun

After a few drinks

But not alone!!!

Sloane

Can sing and fucking KNOWS it.

Loves to sing Whitney Houston

But her all time favourites are Ready or Not and Killing me Softly

Really, truly, 100% has THAT voice.

Why does she want to be a doctor again?