#((i am typing this while tired so screw any typos i made))

[hello-universe-lovers]

SHENANIGANS: where Mai gives headcanons to the Voices in your Head™️ based purely off vibes.

This episode: THE VOICES AT KARAOKE!

((So begins...whatever this is. This is purely dependant on my boredom so we'll see how far this goes. Have a Connie as a prize for reading

Now without further ado...:

VOICE OF THE HERO: The one that is shy to sing but when pushed to sings, she knocks it out of the park. Probably sings whatever popular song is on right now, no specific preference. Awkwardly stands in place as she sings, with lil hand gestures.

VOICE OF THE SMITTEN: The good singer that everyone expects to knock out of the park and no one is disappointed. Probably tries to get people to sing with them or clap, but few actually do. Love songs are top priority. He will dance around the stage.

VOICE OF THE SKEPTIC: Is more content with judging than being judged. But proper probing will get him going. Slow jazz are his vibe but he ends up listening to the song and forgets about singing. He stands in the middle, not moving at all.

VOICE OF THE CHEATED: She was so eager to prove that she could sing. The machine broke before she could start. By the time it's fixed, the mood is gone. Would have loved to sing some classic rock, if she got the chance to. Spends the rest of the night grumpy and eating snacks.

VOICE OF THE PARANOID: Nope, nope, nope, nope, he is not moving from his chair. Too much pressure! Blues is his favorite.

VOICE OF THE STUBBORN: he is putting his entire spirit into this song as if this is a fucking rock concert and not a karaoke room. The song he picked is heavy metal, and mostly screaming. Nobody can understand a word he's screaming. Probably tried to dive off stage and faceplants on the floor.

VOICE OF THE BROKEN: Same as Paranoid but if peer pressured enough, she'll get on stage. Will give it her college try, but she is not that good. Anything slow and smoothe calls to her. Since she doesn't like moving, she'd sing in her seat.

VOICE OF THE COLD: He'll get on stage, then he just...sips his mug through the whole song. He doesn't care enough to pick a favorite so he randomized it. Obviously, no moving.

VOICE OF THE OPPORTUNIST: He said he has a good voice, but when pressed, he'll try to get out of it (saying someone should go first, etc...). But a few stiff drinks later, he can get on the stage. He can actually put that money where his mouth is. Surprisingly picks country music, for whatever reason. (Probably because it's got a nice beat to dance to, which he does when he gets into it.)

VOICE OF THE HUNTED: No one thought he would want to sing, but he did. Buuuuut...it's some song in German or something that no one can understand, so it's hard to tell if he's doing some secret mating call, or he's cursing them out. Also sings where he's seated

VOICE OF THE CONTRARIAN: always the last to sing, after everyone's exhausted and just about ready to pack it up for the night. If her loud and annoying (albeit good) singing didn't woke them all up, the music will. She always picks something upbeat and fast paced, mainly to flex how she can sing it with no mistakes. Can and has gotten others to sing with her (mainly Opportunist and Smitten as back up singers).

BONUS: SHIPPING~ (which voices will sing in pairs)

Smitten and Opportunist: normally they wouldn't. But a drink or 2 later and they're dueting the cheesiest and/or gayest love song in the shuffle.

Cheated and Broken: Broken felt bad Cheated didn't get to, so she offered to duet with her. They ended up harmonizing quite well together and Broken is loud, when she is back up.

Hero and Paranoid: Hero wanted to encourage him to at least try. Ended up singing the majority of the time, but Paranoid starts getting into singing together, by the end. The nervous one is pretty good with a rhythm ;).

Cold and Stubborn: Cold's non-commitment has NO SPACE here!! They're here to have fun, and DAMNIT they will!!! Stubborn sings the loudest song he knows, Cold in his arms. I don't think he noticed that Cold's not actually singing.

Smitten and Hunted: Hunted does good humming for some of the hymns Smitten knows. So they are surprisingly good together.

[fantasyoverreality98]

Now You Know

Pairing: Ethan x F!MC (Isabelle Rosenberg)

Book: Open Heart

Summary: Isabelle remembers a romantic moment shared with Ethan a few days earlier, and makes the decision to confess her feelings for him.

Author’s Note: Inspiration struck very late, and this was the result. I’m sorry for any potential typos, editing in the early morning is not a good idea. As always, thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read, like, comment, and/or reblog! You guys are the reason I continue to write, and words could never do my appreciation for you justice.

Tag: @aylamreads

Warnings: None really; slightly suggestive

Word Count: 1,610

----------

Six months had passed since Isabelle and Ethan had addressed their feelings for each other. For the most part, the two were able to keep things professional. Until one small moment of weakness.

Then, it was game over.

Isabelle sat on the train, chewing on her bottom lip as she tried to think of what to say. Words seemed impossible to convey her emotions. How could she ever tell Ethan that she loved him without sounding insane?

“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”

She glanced up at an elderly woman, and shook her head, picking her bag up and placing it in her lap. The woman took a seat beside her and they lapsed back into silence.

There was no way that Ethan would feel the same. He might drop hints, do whatever she asked, find any excuse to spend time with her…but that meant nothing.

At least, for six months it had meant nothing.

“Ethan, do you think you could look over some files for me?”

He looked up from his computer, his glasses perched on the tip of his nose. “Sure. What’s the problem?”

Isabelle started to explain, but she found herself distracted by his closeness. She took a shaky breath, aware that the way she stared at his lips was hardly professional.

“Rookie?” Ethan’s eyes widened a bit, and his face flushed pink. “Sorry. Dr. Rosenberg. Are you okay?”

It would be so easy to kiss him. “You know, you can still call me Rookie.” Her lips twitched when his eyes met hers. “I’ve grown rather fond of the nickname.”

He shook his head, clearing his throat as he focused back on the files. “Anyway, I think that you should run a test for—”

None of his advice registered in her brain. Isabelle was too busy staring, remembering what it felt like to have those lips on hers. She thought of the night in Ethan’s apartment, and how no one else had ever made her feel the way he had.

His lips against her skin, the way he’d gripped her hips as they moved in sync, the sound of—

“Isabelle, are you even paying attention?”

Screw it. She leaned forward, hesitating for just a second before kissing him. Ethan jerked forward, banging his forehead against hers. Wincing, she started to pull back, but he grabbed her face and brought her lips back to his.

Butterflies swirled in her stomach, and Isabelle held onto Ethan as if he was her life force. Every moment without his touch had been worth it for this kiss. She had always been the type of woman who knew what she wanted.

And she wanted Ethan Ramsey. Unapologetically, uncontrollably, undeniably.

Before things could escalate, just as he pulled back to kiss her neck, there was a knock at the office door.

The two of them sprung apart, and Ethan cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses. “Come in.”

Baz peered inside, grinning when he saw Isabelle. “Ah, Dr. Rosenberg. Fancy meeting you here. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

At the question, Ethan’s face turned an even darker shade of pink. “We were just looking over some patient files. How can I help you?” He looked over at Isabelle, who was sitting several feet away now. “Is it alright with you if we discuss this at another time?”

“Sure.” She could feel heat spreading across her own face, mumbling goodbye to Baz before grabbing the files and hurrying from the room.

A laugh slipped past her lips as Isabelle stood from her seat to get off at her stop. Baz knew about them, she had no doubts about that. The same went for June. In fact, the chances of most of the hospital staff having some sort of awareness about their short fling were high.

“What’s the smile for? Thinking about me?” Bryce sidled up to her, giving her a playful nudge in the ribs. He winked when their eyes met.

Isabelle laughed and shook her head. “Unfortunately for you, I’m not.”

“Aw.” He gave her a fake pout, and she rolled her eyes. “So, who is making you grin like that? Someone I know?”

There was no way someone hadn’t told him about the morning she’d been caught trying to sneak Ethan out of the apartment. If there was one person that Isabelle knew without a doubt was aware of her past with Ethan, it was Bryce.

“Maybe,” she said, humming to herself as the two of them walked into the hospital. “See you later?”

Bryce nodded, his attention on the other surgeons gathered at the end of the hall. “Definitely. See ya, Iz.”

“See ya.” She waved at him before making her way to the locker room.

Eventually, the initial excitement wore off, replaced with a sense of dread. What if Ethan rejected her again? Or, even worse, what if he laughed at her confession? It seemed extremely likely that he would react that way. They hadn’t been together in nearly a year.

The fear haunted her for the rest of the day. When the time came for her to go to his office and lay her feelings bare, Isabelle had to force herself to walk in the right direction. Every muscle, every instinct, screamed for her to run away.

“Yes?” Ethan’s voice was muffled when she knocked on the door.

Isabelle opened her mouth to answer, but the door swung open before she could get a word out. For a moment, the two of them stood facing each other, locked in a strange wordless exchange.

This was it. She had promised herself to come clean, consequences be damned. It was time to tell the truth, even if it left her feeling empty, scared, alone.

“Can I talk to you?” Somehow, she managed to keep some strength in her voice.

Ethan watched her a moment, nodding as he stepped aside. “Of course.”

When Isabelle turned around to face him again, she noticed the tension in his shoulders. He stood near the door, pausing for several seconds before he shut it. A clock ticked somewhere on the wall while they looked at each other.

Finally, Isabelle risked a step closer. “I think we need to talk about—well, about us.”

“There is no us.” Ethan responded immediately, though his face betrayed his words. “There can’t be, Isabelle. We’ve had this discussion several times already.”

She shook her head, taking another step closer. “Fine. I just came here to say something.” Fear began to claw at her, but she shoved it back in its cage. “I—”

Ethan shook his head, the pleas reflected in his eyes when he looked down at her.

Isabelle carried on. “I’ve been thinking about the kiss for the past three days. And it made me realize something.” This was it. This was the moment when six months of keeping a distance would crumble. “I love you, Ethan.”

He exhaled loudly, his hand trembling slightly when he started to reach out for her. But before he could touch her, Ethan pulled back, standing up straight as his eyes darted around the room.

“And I know that you probably don’t feel the same, but—”

“What makes you think I don’t feel the same?” He seemed to snap out of his trance, looking up at her again.

Isabelle frowned. “You’re always saying that we can’t be together. I assume that means the feelings aren’t mutual.”

Ethan laughed, taking a step closer to her. “Is that really what you think? That I don’t have feelings for you?”

Now, she felt annoyed. Isabelle glared, realizing that he hadn’t responded to her saying she loved him. She took a step closer to him. There was now less than a few feet separating them. “Well, what am I supposed to think? You keep pushing me away.”

“Isabelle—”

“Just give me an answer, Ethan! I’m tired of running around in circles with you. Do you care about me at all, or is this just some kind of game to you?”

Ethan sighed, staring into her eyes. Her frustration with him only increased. Isabelle tried her best not to groan, opening her mouth to take her annoyance out on him further, when he grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss.

Immediately, she relaxed, committing this moment to memory. Just in case.

They kissed with urgency, six months of holding back bursting in one swift movement. Isabelle ran her fingers along Ethan’s jaw, savoring the feel of his stubble underneath her fingertips. He gripped her by the waist, fingers digging into her sides as he kissed her repeatedly.

“Damn it, Isabelle,” Ethan groaned against her lips, but he didn’t stop.

Her hip bumped the corner of his desk when they backed up, but it didn’t bother her. For too long, Isabelle had been dreaming of a moment like this. Even if it was just for a few minutes, Ethan Ramsey was all hers once more.

All she could think of was his lips against hers, memories of nights spent entangled flashing in her mind. She wanted him. She needed this.

“I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long.” It surprised her to hear Ethan say those words, his hands fumbling with her lab coat.

Isabelle helped him slip it off, her heart pounding when Ethan lifted her onto his desk.

Any second now, someone could walk in on them and shatter the illusion. They would have a lot of explaining to do if they got caught. Still, she didn’t care. Now that Ethan knew how she felt, there was no turning back.

All she could do was hope that there would be a happy ending.

[onewaywardwitch]

Just A Typo (2/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Hacker!Reader

Summary: It was a simple challenge between a very competitive group of friends. A challenge that ended very differently than anticipated.

Warnings: Just a bit of language

Word Count: 2140

A/N: Ahhh the feedback on part 1 was amazing! Thank you all so much! Here’s part 2!

There are moments in your life when you know you’ve screwed up. Like when you decide to try the new Starbucks coffee, only to realise it’s as horrible as you predicted, and you’ve wasted €5. Or when you spend all night binge-watching some show on Netflix when you know you’ve got to get up early for work the next morning. Or when you agree to hack into one of the world’s best security systems to fuel your own ego and diminish your friend’s one. And while I've found myself in the first two situations many times, the third was a new one for me.

“I promise to visit you at least once a month when you get sent to Alcatraz,” Becca sang as she all but skipped into Angie’s apartment to join the rest of us. I laughed sarcastically.

“Sent to Alcatraz for hacking? Crime expectations must be low lately if they’re sending hackers there.”

“I’m sure Tony Stark has some pull in the government to get you put away there. You know, when you get caught,” she gloated. It was obvious she thought I was heading down the same route as Sophie. Her confidence only made me want to prove her wrong even more.

Angie ignored our seemingly never-ending banter and carried on setting up my laptop and other work necessities.

“I still don’t understand why you have to have a pack of Haribo with you every time you do something illegal,” she sighed, glaring at me as I stood with Becca.

“Well it’s just common sense, Angie. I can’t have chocolate, it’ll get all over my hands. Biscuits leave crumbs everywhere and hot chocolate is a recipe for disaster,” I replied, keeping my face as straight as I could.

“No, I don’t get why you need sweets at all!”

“That’s a stupid question. You always need sweets. We can’t all live off boiled vegetables and whole-grain everything.”

Angie just looked at Becca in defeat, who shrugged her shoulders.

“Hey, if I get the job done, who cares what I eat?” I strutted over to the table that had my laptop on it. Unfortunately, my confident walk did nothing to ease my nerves as my friends watched on eagerly.

��~~~~~

“Becca, I swear to Thor if you breathe on my neck again, I’ll break yours,” I snapped. Becca and Angie shared a nervous glance while I typed furiously, the lines and lines of code beginning to make me dizzy.

“Y/N, you’ve proven your point. Your brilliant. A mastermind. A true gift to the hacking community. You can quit now, it’s alright.” Becca was beginning to regret ever provoking me when she saw how much more advanced Stark’s system was compared to the systems we would normally attack for a laugh.

I could sense Angie about to open her mouth when the screen suddenly went blank and the three of us froze where we were; Becca leaning over my shoulder, Angie holding her third cup of herbal tea, and me with jelly rings on each of my extremely tired fingers.

The screen flashed once, before several different boxes popped up. It took each of us about seven seconds to realise we were looking at the feed from the security cameras placed around Avengers Tower.

“Holy shit,” whispered Angie.

“I am the greatest and I’m completely unappreciated in my time,” I grinned, my eyes flickering from each small screen.

“IS THAT BLACK WIDOW?”

“Agh! Becs, inside voice please.” Becca refused to acknowledge my complaint. Her gaze was fixated on the image of the Natasha Romanoff eating what I guessed was-

“A poptart! I have those all the time, we’re practically soulmates!” Becca exclaimed.

As Angie tried to explain to Becca that her comment was only a bit unrealistic, I gazed at each of screens on my laptop. Who would have thought that the Falcon would be spending his day holding something shiny while running away from a very angry, one-armed Winter Soldier? Or that Hawkeye drinks milk straight from the carton and puts it back in the fridge when no one’s looking?

Just as Becca started to talk about the Black Widow’s hair (“I could never pull off the red like she does!”), the laptop flashed black, before more lines of code began popping up again.

“Oh shit, we’re busted. Angie, gummy bear, now,“ I demanded, quickly returning to my state of concentration (which was difficult after seeing Captain America lifting weights). Angie grabbed the bag and put one of the bears in my mouth, only for me to spit it out in disgust.

“Not a yellow one, a red! I'm not a monster,” I yelped before turning back to the task at hand. Nervously chewing on the nicest flavoured gummy bear, I attempted to keep up with Stark’s excellent security.

“Make sure you can’t be traced. Keep the IP address hidden and get out,” I heard Angie mutter behind me. After a couple of minutes, I felt myself relax, watching the screen change to my regular background of the Supernatural cast.

“We are out and I’m going to go down in history as the greatest hacker that ever existed.” I spun in my chair, grinning at the girls as my confidence rose again. “I just hacked into Avengers Tower, admired Captain America’s incredibly toned body for a bit, before successfully leaving without giving away my location or any way for them to trace me. How was that for you Becca?”

She looked at me, a small smile growing on her face. “I'm impressed, Y/N. Shame Sophie’s not here so you could gloat to her too, but that was pretty awesome.”

“I can’t believe you pulled that off,” Angie said admirably, her herbal tea long forgotten on the nearby countertop. I winked at her and held out the nearly empty bag of Haribos.

“Yellow gummy bear anyone?”

 ~~~~~

Tony Stark was busy doing nothing in his lab with Dr Banner when F.R.I.D.A.Y. announced that someone was hacking into their system.

“Well what are you waiting for F.R.I.D.A.Y.? Flush ‘em out. And get their location.”

“Sir, they’ve already broke down our firewalls and accessed our cameras.”

That caught Tony’s attention. He looked at Bruce confusedly before again telling F.R.I.D.A.Y. to get whoever it was out of their system using whatever means necessary. As the A.I. was occupied with that, he called all the Avengers to the briefing room.

 ~~~~~

“Barnes, if you could stop murdering Wilson with your eyes for just five minutes so we can start?”

Bucky turned and aimed his glare at Tony instead, still scowling that Sam had somehow managed to steal his arm for nearly half an hour. That man knew all the best hiding places in this tower.

Tony rolled his eyes and clapped his hands together, deciding to get straight to the point. “Nothing to worry about, but someone hacked into the tower and accessed all of the cameras. We don’t know who or why, but F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s nearly got a location, I think.”

The uproar was immediate.

“I thought your security was the best there is!”

“How long have they been watching us?”

“What else have they hacked into?”

Tony grimaced as all the voices overlapped and became louder. His embarrassment that some computer nerd cracked his online defences was obvious from the lack of his usual playful tone and he wasn’t in the mood for messing about now. He opened his mouth but before he could speak, F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice rang through the room, effectively shutting everyone up.

“Sir, I believe I have the location of the hacker. It appears they made a slight typing error when concealing their IP address.”

“A typo? Rookie mistake,” Sam mumbled.

“That ‘rookie’ managed to hack into all our cameras pretty quickly,” Bruce stated, looking at Sam pointedly.

“Okay, Cap, take your brooding boyfriend in the corner and bring in whoever it is. It's nowhere near any known HYDRA bases, so my guess? A group of boys hiding out in one of their mom’s basements. Shouldn’t be too difficult.” Steve nodded at Tony and made his way over to Bucky while everyone else left the room, still discussing the infiltrator who was able to beat the great Tony Stark.

 ~~~~~

Steve looked around the apartment in surprise. This was definitely not what they were expecting. The place was clean and lacked any personal touches. That is, if he weren’t including the many Funko Pop figures that were scattered seemingly at random throughout the apartment. He moved towards the laptop that was laying carelessly on the kitchen table.

“Just talked to the landlady,” Bucky said, gesturing towards the front door where a woman in her mid-fifties stood excitedly, trying to catch a glimpse of the great Captain America. Bucky waved his flesh hand at her, hoping she’d get the message to leave them alone. Fortunately for him, one of the neighbours came out and started complaining to her about the thin walls. That made her run off quickly.

“Apartment is owned by a woman in her late twenties, early thirties. She asked to be kept off the books, and your admirer back there had no problem with that because she always paid her rent on time and by cash.”

“Does she have any idea where she could be now?” Steve asked, closing over the front door again so they wouldn’t raise any suspicions.

“She said she left around three hours ago, hopefully to get some food. Her fridge is empty. Except for a tub of ice-cream,” Bucky snorted.

They both stopped talking when they heard the rustling of keys just outside the door. Bucky went to stand beside Steve, who was back beside the laptop. He placed a hand over the gun he always carried in his trousers as the door opened. But he felt himself relax a bit when he heard a familiar tune.

“Is that… Queen?” Steve whispered as the woman began humming to herself. Natasha had taken it upon herself to educate the two veterans on all the music they had missed out on in the past seventy years, including Queen, Michael Jackson, and Adele. This was one of the few songs they actually recognised.

The woman stumbled into the kitchen, struggling to carry all the shopping bags she had tried to carry up in one trip. Her headphones were blaring Bohemian Rhapsody loud enough for the two men to hear clearly. They shared a look of surprise as she still hadn’t noticed them standing a few feet behind her.

 ~~~~~

“But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away,” I sang quietly to myself as I restocked my fridge. I was still on a high from my incredible success with Becca and Angie only a few hours ago. We were going to celebrate with Angie’s cheap champagne, before Becca realised she was about two hours late for work. I left shortly after her to buy more ice-cream, which quickly turned into buying half the grocery store.

“Mama, oooo- OH WHAT THE FUCK!” My dramatic spin while singing didn’t end as well as I had planned. I wasn’t exactly prepared for the two super soldiers who stood by my table, watching me with humour. I tugged my headphones out of my ears and stared at them dumbstruck.

“Captain America… wow such an honour… you’re very… wow. And the Winter Barnes! Oh god, there’s a ‘soldier’ in there somewhere, isn’t there? Very, very… broad.” My voice died off towards the end as the word came out of my mouth too quickly for me to recognise them. The Captain’s eyes sparkled in amusement, while the Winter Soldier was looking at me with interest. He failed to see how this woman caused Stark so much concern.

Captain America opened his mouth to speak, but at that exact moment I coped why two Avengers were standing in my apartment.

“Oh, this is about the whole Avengers Tower thing, isn’t it? The camera, the hacking… I'm not evil! I wasn’t planning on accessing any confidential information and selling it! I don’t do that, I was just messing with friends, I swear!” Apparently, I had lost all control over my own mouth and I confessed to everything without either of the men saying a word. They glanced at each other before Captain Rogers turned back to me.

“You understand we need to bring you in anyway. We have questions you need answer back at the tower.”

I nodded nervously at the pair as they escorted me downstairs to where a car was waiting outside, the Soldier bringing my laptop with him.

“This explains why Nora was in such a good mood when I passed her on the stairs earlier,” I thought to myself. “She never smiles when I pay her my rent, but one visit from America’s golden boy has her skipping to her door!”

[tcm--holland]

simple // peter parker

summary: you’re just a superhero girl who wishes everything wasn’t so complicated. the only thing that’s constant and simple in your life is the one and only peter parker. except whenever you’re around him, you just can’t seem to act normal. at least you have your good friend spider-man to confess your thoughts to, all while having no idea who he is.

word count: about 2.5k

a/n: this is my first imagine, hope someone likes it!! // warning for mild profanity // and if anyone wants it I'll make a part 2! also it’s unedited so ignore any grammatical errors/typos! thank you so much <33

masterlist

____________________________

"The thing about algebra is that it's unnecessarily and unfortunately complicated." As you explain this to the freshman sitting across from you, your eyes drift slightly to the boy at the other table. "But sometimes, it's simple and fun. It's the one thing in your life that ever seems simple."

Peter Parker is easy to figure out. He's a shy, smart, and blissfully average guy. And honestly, that's what you like about him above everything else. His simplicity is beautiful to you, but your friends just think he's boring. So maybe they don't want more than a pretty face. Fine by you.

The freshman, Iris, looks at you, eyebrows furrowing as she follows your gaze to Peter. "Oh my god, do you have a thing for that guy?" She whisper-shouts. You give her a glare that is a clear indication that she should shut up. But she continues anyway. "Because if you do, I can totally see that happening. That sounds like the cutest-"

This time, you shut her up by crumpling a piece of scratch paper and throwing it at her. She doesn’t have much of a reaction, but she gets the memo and shuts up. God, freshmen can be so annoying someti - oh lord that's just not fair.

Peter stands up to get a book, but it's on a higher shelf. Instead of using a chair to get it, he stretches. His worn blue sweater slides up past the waistband of his jeans to reveal his stomach. Where did one of the nerdiest people you know find the time to get absolutely ripped?

Your mouth is slightly open, and you can't stop staring at him. You hardly notice what you're doing until he turns around and sees you. You quickly close your mouth and look away, your face heating up. Iris nudges you.

"Say hi," she mouths to you.

You look back up at Peter, trying to will away the blush and smile instead. He holds his book in his hands, looking at you expectantly. "Hi, Peter."

"Hi, Y/N," Peter returns the smile. The silence afterward is so awkward it makes you want to scream, until Iris opens her mouth to speak. You can only cross your fingers and hope she doesn't say anything stupid.

"Y/N was wondering where you work out." Iris grins a little. Your hopes seemed to have gone to a bit of a stretch in thinking she would've said something reasonable.

Peter raises his eyebrows slightly, and your eyes widen. "Uh, I mean...what she meant was that I need to work out. And I'm very, um, bad at working out on my own. So if you go to a gym or anything..."

He looks even more confused now, and he obviously doesn't know what to say.

"I'm just kidding, I'm fine," you say. By now, you're thoroughly embarrassed and kind of feel like you might start tearing up. You shove your things into your bag and nearly race out of the door.

You just want to get to saving the world already. Well, maybe not the world just quite yet. You're a relatively new superhero to the scene, just like Spider-Man. You and him actually formed a bit of a friendship, but you decided it was better to keep your personal lives out of it by only knowing each other by the superhero personas.

And now, Spider-Man must be waiting on a roof for you somewhere. But it's all complicated. You just want someone without secrets and mysteries, and Peter Parker seems just the type for you. If only he looked at you, or talked to you, ever.

You sigh and head out before you get the chance to see Peter again. You don't think you'll get over this for a while. Not that you blame Iris, either. You're sure she was just trying to help you with your crush, but you think it's better keeping the distance for now.

By the time you get to your alleyway, you start hurrying. You quickly unbutton your shirt and slide off your jeans to reveal your suit underneath. You scramble around in your bag, finally coming up with a slightly crumpled mask. You slide on the mask and activate its features. You're proud of it; you made your own suit and you think it's pretty damn cool. Spider-Man thinks Tony Stark can do better, but you're not ready for that quite yet. You know Stark can be a little...intense.

Surprisingly, you're on the roof before Spider-Man is. You wait for a few minutes, not wanting to leave without him. Just when you're about to stand up, he lands on the roof in a pose.

"Whoa, there, Spider-Man. Let's not get too into our heads, shall we? You're still just a friendly neighborhood superhero."

"Ugh, don't remind me. I'm getting sick of this. I wanna do something, y'know? I wanna save the world from destruction like the Avengers do! Then maybe Mr. Stark'll get it." He plops down next to you at the edge of the roof, sighing. "I'm not complaining about, like, free churros or anything. Free churros are great."

"I've never even met the guy and I know he'll never 'get it'. Until something bad happens and you stop it. This is why I don't mess with Stark. It's just...too much."

"It's a chance to be apart of something bigger!"

"It's an empty promise to keep you from turning against him." You cross your arms and stare at the horizon.

"Uh, okay. I know you're not enthusiastic about this, but you look grumpy."

"You can't see my face," you point out.

"You sound grumpy."

"The voice filter does that."

"Oh, come on, just spill. I don't even know who you are, so it's okay, right? I've told you like everything about me, but you don't talk about yourself." Spider-Man turns towards you, and for a second, you stare blankly. “Oh, I was smiling. Sorry, forgot you can’t see.” He gives a thumbs up instead.

"I just kind of embarrassed myself in front of my crush," you mumble, so quiet you're not even sure he heard you.

"Aw, don't think about that too much, S/N. I know the feeling. You know, I accidentally embarrassed someone today, but I didn't think anything of it. I just thought it was cute. I kind of like her."

"You're lucky. I still don't think I can talk to him for a while, and that sucks," you look at him.

"You gotta do it eventually. Sometimes you just have to throw your fear out the window and do it. Who knows, you might even get a churro out of it."

You laugh a little. "Are you hungry?"

Spider-Man's stomach grumbles in response. This only makes you giggle more, until you're both laughing.

"Let's go see about those churros, then." You stand up, getting ready for a few hours of kicking ass. You and Spider-Man know if you work together, the media will go crazy. And you hate that. So, to keep on the down low, you work alone.

That doesn't mean you can't talk to each other while you work. You installed a cellphone system into your suit that connects back to your regular phone, so you don't have to carry around your phone all the time.

"Ready?" Spider-Man looks at you. You nod, and the count of three, you both leap off the edge of the building. From there, you go your separate ways.

He starts up the phone call and speaks, "Hey, S/N."

"'Sup, Spidey," you greet as you race down the block after a wallet snatcher.

"Did you just say, 'Suck Spidey'?"

"No! Hold on." Your advanced phone system isn't as advanced as you'd like it to be, but you're working on it. Meanwhile, you're wrestling with the thief. When you're done, you dust off your hands and move on. "I said what's up."

"Oh. Uh...this lady is up. Literally, like she's hanging off the edge of a fire escape."

"Shit. How did that even happen?"

"I don't know," comes the response, followed by silence for a few minutes. You assume he's in the middle of saving that woman.

When he's done, you keep talking. "I keep forgetting to ask. How's your aunt?"

"She's okay."

"...You haven't told her, have you?"

"I can't, S/N. She has enough on her shoulders already."

"She'll find out eventually, you know."

"I know." You sense he doesn't want to talk about it anymore, so you don't push it further.

By the time it's nightfall, you're both weary and have loads of homework to do. "You're sure this doesn't drain on your cell plan or anything? It's been like three hours." Spider-Man sounds a little concerned.

"Nah, it's alright." You mute yourself for a minute while you take time to buy Spider-Man a churro and a can of Coke.

"Hop up to the building real quick," you say, churro in one hand and Coke in the other.

"Too tired, how about the alleyway next to it?"

"Sure."

You slide into the alleyway, wondering where Spider-Man went until you get a strange feeling. You turn around to see him against the wall, and you nearly jump ten feet. "Spidey!" you exclaim, but he's just laughing. "Screw you."

"Sure," Spider-Man says, and your eyes widen slightly. He hops down from the wall.

"I buy you a churro and soda, and all I get is an innuendo?" You hand both to him, but not before taking a bite out of the churro first.

"I know you're smiling behind that mask," he teases, poking your cheek.

"I am and I hate it," you groan, poking him back. You can tell he wants to devour that churro already, so you decide to get going. "I'll see you later, okay? Thanks for the encouragement."

He gives you a quick hug, making sure not to get any cinnamon sugar onto your suit. "No problem. Thanks for the food."

You chuckle, hugging him back. You ignore how your heart begins to race a little. "Anytime. Bye, Spider-Man."

"Bye, S/N."

The next day at school, you keep Spider-Man's words of motivation in your head. You spot Peter a few times but can't bring yourself to say anything. You know you'll have to talk to him for sure in Chemistry, so you put it off until then. You see him at lunch and manage to smile before walking over to your friends.

Right after lunch is Chemistry. You walk slower than usual, dreading what's going to happen. You planned the conversation in your head ten times already, but you just can't seem to shake yourself out of your fear.

Sometimes you just have to throw your fear out the window and do it.

Spider-Man is right. You walk into class and take your seat next to Peter. Anxiety courses through your veins and makes your hands shake slightly. You ball them up into fists to make them stop, but it doesn't work. You look over as the class begins. "Peter, about yesterday..." You begin.

He glances at you, eyebrows drawn for a moment. And then he remembers. "Oh. What about it?" He asks slowly, a hint of a smile curving his pink lips.

Now you kind of want to slap him for teasing you, but you ignore the urge, because you kind of want to kiss him too. He's leaned towards you slightly, and you look into his deep brown eyes. Your faces are inches apart, and nothing else really matters. You just want to lean in and do what you’ve wanted to do for a long time. Kiss hi-

“Mr. Parker, Ms. Y/L/N, what are you doing?” A voice interrupts. You snap yourself back to reality and lean away from Peter, looking up at your teacher. You can feel the gazes of the other students boring into you, and for a second, you start panicking. Peter looks just as nervous as you.

But if you don’t start making up an excuse soon, you’re both done for. “Uh, there’s - I mean, there was a, uh, thing on his chin.”

“Y-Yeah, she was just checking, um, to make sure. That there wasn’t anything like, a, uh, chemical on my face.” Peter tries to back you up.

“Because that could, like, corrode his skin or give him a chemical burn...I think. And that’s bad.”

The teacher raises his eyebrows. You and him make quite a pair at lying. It seems that together, your excuses are even worse. “We’re using extremely diluted iodide, with gloves, goggles, and pipettes. So I wonder how some of it could have possibly ended up on your face?” He turns his pointed gaze to Peter. Your hands start sweating a little.

“He didn’t say anything about it being on his face, just that I was making sure there wasn’t any,” you say quickly.

“Stay after class,” the teacher finally says, sick of your shenanigans. You slump into your seat and sigh as he turns away. Your E/C eyes shift to Peter, who’s been looking at you. You both do your best to contain your nervous laughter at the ridiculousness of what just happened. 

The feeling churning in you is strange. You feel like you know him already. Peter already feels so familiar, as though you and him have done countless stupid things together. You don’t know why. You’ve never felt that close of a connection with anyone like that, except maybe Spider-Man.

Butterflies flutter in your stomach as your hand brushes his under the table. Your eyes drift to meet his gaze, and you give him a grin before looking back at your worksheet. You have a lot to fill out, so you get to work. 

After class, you both stand side by side in front of the teacher. You really don't want detention. After all, you have crime fighting to do! And Spider-Man’ll probably get sick of waiting and leave before you even get there. 

You glance at Peter. Has he always been this short? You must be taller than him by at least an inch or so.

“I know this is Chemistry class, but I don’t have time for that kind of chemistry while I’m teaching.” And just like that, your Chemistry teacher destroys you in one sentence. You can feel your ears heating up, eyes glued to the ground. “Understood?”

You both nod quickly and obediently. By the time you both leave, it’s not too late. You can still catch up with Spider-Man if you hurry. You turn to look at Peter, smiling hopefully. 

“I’d better, uh, get going. Lots of homework to do,” you say, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear coyly. Now that you’re alone with him, you’re anxious again.

“You too?” Peter grins a little, going to a bench nearby to get a piece of paper and a pen. “Um, here’s my number. Call me sometime?” He looks just as shy as you do. You gratefully accept the paper with slightly shaky hands.

“I will. Um, maybe tomorrow. I’m seriously loaded tonight,” you give an apologetic smile and adjust your backpack straps.

“That’s okay! Whenever you’re free!” Peter says, clearly just happy that you’re going to call him eventually. 

You laugh and nod, feeling something very special inside you. It’s like fireworks, multicolored and explosive. Or like confetti exploding on your birthday. You don’t really know what it is, but you’ve never felt happier.

[ebenpink]

Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body. http://bit.ly/2UM5tLh

The magazines got it wrong. Sure, the promise of “six-pack abs” might be motivating at the airport newsstand. But as soon as your flight’s delayed, it’s an easy goal to forget. Because stress, frustration, and… a conveniently-located Smashburger. (Same as every day, really.) There is a fix, though. If you’re willing to ask—and answer—some hard questions, you can discover a much deeper purpose for change. One that’ll ignite passion and drive you to get the results you want—no matter how badly the airline screws you.

++++

I could already see the pain in Michelle’s eyes as we sat down in a quiet corner of my gym.

“What are you hoping to achieve by hiring me?” I asked.

Michelle shrugged. “I just want to lose some weight and get fit again.”

After 10 years as a fitness coach, I knew there was more to the story. There always is.

“Have you always been overweight?” I asked.

She looked surprised at the personal question. I didn’t flinch.

After a moment, Michelle told me she’d been fighting her weight for more than 15 years. Now she as prediabetes.

“How does that make you feel?” I asked.

She hesitated again, but then said, “Scared. My mom was overweight and had diabetes, and I feel like I’m following in her footsteps.”

At this point, Michelle stopped holding back; tears trickled down her cheeks.

“It all hit me two weeks ago. My daughter said she didn’t trust me to be alone with my granddaughter because I’m too overweight and immobile to keep up. I was so devastated. So embarrassed.”

Many of us are like Michelle: Ashamed to talk about what’s really bothering us.

But since I started encouraging my clients to dig deep into their pain, their results have skyrocketed.

Why? Because to achieve real, lasting change, many people have to confront the emotional pain that’s making them want that change.

Once they do, their true motivation is crystalized. And that’s often far more powerful than any exercise plan or diet approach.

The challenge is uncovering it.

++++

You never start with the pain.

When it comes to goals, people usually talk about losing fat or moving better or getting healthy. All fine aspirations, indeed.

But for many of us, these goals aren’t very meaningful in the context of our everyday lives. They’re more like health and fitness clichés.

Our true motivations run much deeper than having a “bikini body” or “sleeve-busting arms” (as the ads and coverlines promise).

That’s the surface level stuff we think we want.

Sure, these types of goals might inspire you to show up for six weeks of training and cut back on alcohol for a while. But for most people, how much do they really matter? How easy are they to give up on?

On the other hand… you know what’s way more motivating?

Michelle wanting to be able to take care of her granddaughter so badly that months of new habits, tiring workouts, and saying no to cupcakes in the break room seemed like the only choice. It wasn’t just a “look better” fitness goal—it was her burning passion.

Discovering why you really want to change gives you resolve.

A wise person (okay, it was Tony Robbins) once said: “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

There’s just one problem: A lot of us never actually get to the root of what’s bothering us. We don’t face our pain because it’s uncomfortable. As a result, we’re much more likely to stay the same.

Find your pain… to stoke your passion.

Sometimes, pain will be obvious: divorce, a scary diagnosis, the loss of a loved one. This kind of pain is easy to identify. It’s right there in front of you, flagging you down.

Other times, pain can be more subtle: It’s hiding in a dark corner of the basement—always there, even if you aren’t constantly aware of it.

Maybe it stems from all those times you were picked last as a kid. Or from that “harmless” comment a loved one made about your body… or about someone else’s body (who looks like you).

These hits of pain may not feel that impactful in the moment, but over time, they accrue power and influence over your actions and self-worth.

The result? Pain that’s hidden can crop up as:

avoiding activities that are fun or good for you, like going to a party or trying that new gym down the street

feeling your heart race when someone asks if you’re okay

revisiting some mortifying moment over and over, using it as evidence that you’re the worst

turning down exciting opportunities because your inner voice says, ‘No way, I can’t do that.’

living well into your 20s with the assumption you’ll never find companionship… because you got rejected on the middle school dance floor… and you assumed it was because the boys thought you were too big… so that must mean men don’t like you. (Is that oddly specific?)

These examples all suggest there’s trouble below the surface. Pain is discouraging you and holding you back. If you can access the source of this emotional discomfort, you can use it to achieve serious change.

Here’s how to do just that, in three steps.

Step #1: Find your true “why.”

Michelle wanted to lose weight, sure.

But more importantly, she wanted to be trusted to take care of her granddaughter. That was her real reason for wanting to lose weight.

In the Precision Nutrition coaching method, we call this “finding your why.”

Your “why” is the reason behind the reason… behind the reason… behind the surface reason you want to make a change in your life.

Finding your “why” is a shortcut to finding your pain.

Because often, your deepest reason for wanting to change your body or habits dredges up yucky stuff.

For example, the shame of having gained 30 pounds after having kids. (‘Why does every other mom seem to have it all together?’).

Or the helplessness of realizing you can’t even bend down to pick a pencil off the floor.

Or the regret that comes with admitting you’re not the kind of active, inspiring father you want to be.

These are the “whys” that drive change.

Don’t settle for the easy answer.

Getting to your “deepest reason” requires some introspection. An exercise called the “5 Whys” can help kickstart the process.

Here’s how it works: Take your initial reason for wanting to make changes to your nutrition, workout routine, or lifestyle, and use that as a starting point.

Maybe you want to get fit. Now ask yourself “why?”

(If you’re a coach, you can go through this exercise with a client. You ask the questions, but let them do most of the talking.)

Keep asking—remember, it’s called the 5 Whys—until you feel like you’ve identified the real reason you want to change. The illustration below shows what this might look like.

Put in the work.

Some people can define—and confront—their “why” quickly. For others, it requires a little more time and effort.

Practicing meditation and/or mindfulness can help you access uncomfortable thoughts you’ve been avoiding or pushing away. To get started, try this simple mind-body scan.

Find a quiet place. Take 5 minutes and find somewhere you can be without interruptions. This could be just before bed or just after waking. Or in your office, resting on a park bench, or sitting in your parked car.

Notice physical sensations. Scan your body from the top of your head down to your toes, part by part. Note how you feel along the way. Don’t judge or rush to change anything.

Notice emotions and thoughts. Once you’ve done your “body scan,” do the same exercise for your emotions and thoughts. Again, don’t judge or try to make sense of it. Just observe.

Ask yourself 3 questions. Right now…

What am I feeling physically?

What am I feeling emotionally?

What am I thinking?

You may find it helpful to jot down a few notes after each session. (It’s okay if you can’t find the perfect words.)

Over time, you’ll likely notice feelings, thoughts, and ideas that crop up consistently. These can be important clues to revealing your “why”… and your pain.

Step #2: Turn your pain into action.

Let’s start with an example.

When Nivi Jaswal entered Precision Nutrition Coaching, she was overweight, stressed, and had prediabetes. Through lots of reflection, Nivi uncovered the pain that was holding her back: a deep fear of not being good enough. If she couldn’t do something perfectly, she wouldn’t do it at all. So now what?

Do the hard thing.

Once you’ve defined your pain, you have a framework to experiment with an exercise PN calls “difficult-easy” and “difficult-difficult.” (No, those aren’t typos.)

Difficult-easy describes things you do that are hard, but still within your comfort zone: going to work every day even though you hate your job, for example. Or giving up carbs again even though you love pasta and cookies.

In Nivi’s case, difficult-easy was spending countless hours researching diet and exercise routines, looking for the “perfect” answer.

Difficult-difficult, however, is the stuff that’s truly challenging—the actions you shy away from because they seem overwhelming or even impossible. This is the place where you grow.

Here are some examples:

For the mother who always prioritizes her family’s needs over her own, difficult-difficult might be carving out two hours per week for her favorite yoga classes.

For the business executive who chooses to work 60 hours a week, difficult-difficult might be hanging out with friends twice a month (to start).

For Nivi, difficult-difficult meant making small nutrition and lifestyle changes instead of going all-in. She was skeptical of this approach. It seemed like it wouldn’t work, and she was afraid she’d be wasting her time and effort. That’s what made it difficult-difficult.

Ask yourself:

What are you afraid of? Difficult-easy tasks tend to annoy us. Like when you say “yes” even though you don’t actually have any room on your plate for another task. Because saying “no” is too scary. The things that scare us are usually the difficult-difficult ones.

What would you do if it were Opposite Day? Difficult-easy stuff grinds you down, but you keep doing it anyway. Take a moment to consider: How’s that working for you? What could you do that’s new, that would force you to grow and put you on a new path? That’s your difficult-difficult.

Make one change at a time.

Once you’ve identified your difficult-difficult, chip away at it one small piece at a time. It might sound weird, but focusing on less can help you achieve more.

Pick one small, new habit.

Select one habit that supports progress toward the body and health you want. Make it something simple and reasonable, that you think you can practice every day.

Let’s say you want to get fitter, but you’re terrified of the gym because you feel like an outsider. Your difficult-difficult is hitting the gym on a regular basis.

Consider starting with a habit that gets you closer to that goal, but doesn’t go all the way.

For your first habit, you might choose one of these options:

foam rolling for a few minutes every morning

taking a 10-minute walk after dinner each evening

doing a 15-minute home workout twice a week

going to the gym once a week, but only committing to one exercise you’re comfortable with, and then leaving

Maybe one of these seems excruciatingly hard, while another is hard, but doable. Go with the latter.

Practice your habit.

Do your new habit every day for at least two weeks. Some days, it’ll feel like a grueling climb up Everest. Other days it may feel like you’re flying. Eventually, there’ll be more flying days than Everest ones. That’s how you know you’re ready for the next step.

Build on your habit.

Now maybe you’re ready for four home workouts per week, or two exercises when you go to the gym. Practice this new habit for another two weeks. Keep repeating this cycle.

With this practice, your difficult-difficult will become easier. As a result, you’ll get better at facing your pain and fears… and better at changing.

Step #3: Share your pain.

I once had a client named Nadia. Her commitment waxed and waned, and eventually she stopped showing up for workouts—a story any trainer knows all too well.

Two years later, Nadia asked if we could meet up. Over coffee, she explained she has a learning disability, but she’d been embarrassed to tell me about it before. During our workouts, she’d felt lost and anxious.

Armed with this new information, we figured out how to make her more comfortable this time around. She started showing up four days a week and made tons of progress.

Talking to people about your pain can:

take some of the pain’s power away (you could realize you’re not at fault)

make previously hidden solutions seem more obvious

open up new sources of support that weren’t available before

help you connect with people who are going through similar changes

let others know that you’re open to help, if they’re able to provide it.

Start with the people you love.

Even once Michelle opened up to me, she still had no intention of telling her husband or her daughter about her pain. At first, she didn’t even tell them she had joined a gym.

After a few months, she’d lost some weight, but her motivation started to dwindle, and she was still angry at her daughter. I asked her what she thought might happen if she talked to her daughter about it.

“I was really hoping to avoid conflict,” she said.

What resulted was the opposite. Michelle’s daughter and son-in-law were highly encouraging. In fact, both committed to making nutrition changes with her to show their support. Michelle’s husband even purged all the junk food from their house.

While there are no guarantees, most of the time, if you allow yourself to be vulnerable with the people you’re close to, they’ll rally to support you.

And that can make all the difference in continuing to make progress.

Give yourself permission to take it slow.

If you don’t feel ready to reveal your pain to someone else just yet, you can use the principles of stress inoculation training (SIT) to help you start sharing little by little.

SIT is like a stress vaccination. The basic idea is to slowly get comfortable being… uncomfortable.

Think of it like this: Exposing yourself to small amounts of stress regularly—in levels that don’t overwhelm you—trains you to handle much tougher situations. Just like with exercise.

In this case, tell your story in pieces, at your own pace, until you start to adapt to the stress of sharing. Or maybe reveal your pain in a journal first, then with a stranger, and then with someone you’re close to.

Because you can do this alone, but you don’t have to.

If it feels a little uncomfortable, you’re on the right track.

Remember, we call it difficult-difficult for a reason.

But if you’re willing to dig deep, find your why, and uncover the root of your pain, you may discover the purpose and passion you’ve been missing.

So move past thinking you “just want to get fit” or “can’t lose weight.” And open yourself to the possibility there’s more to the story.

That’s where you’ll find the motivation you really need… for the results you really want.

If you’re a coach, or you want to be…

Learning how to coach clients, patients, friends, or family members through healthy eating and lifestyle changes—by helping them discover their true motivation—is both an art and a science.

If you’d like to learn more about both, consider the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The next group kicks off shortly.

What’s it all about?

The Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification is the world’s most respected nutrition education program. It gives you the knowledge, systems, and tools you need to really understand how food influences a person’s health and fitness. Plus the ability to turn that knowledge into a thriving coaching practice.

Developed over 15 years, and proven with over 100,000 clients and patients, the Level 1 curriculum stands alone as the authority on the science of nutrition and the art of coaching.

Whether you’re already mid-career, or just starting out, the Level 1 Certification is your springboard to a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results.

[Of course, if you’re already a student or graduate of the Level 1 Certification, check out our Level 2 Certification Master Class. It’s an exclusive, year-long mentorship designed for elite professionals looking to master the art of coaching and be part of the top 1% of health and fitness coaches in the world.]

Interested? Add your name to the presale list. You’ll save up to 33% and secure your spot 24 hours before everyone else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019.

If you want to find out more, we’ve set up the following presale list, which gives you two advantages.

Pay less than everyone else. We like to reward people who are eager to boost their credentials and are ready to commit to getting the education they need. So we’re offering a discount of up to 33% off the general price when you sign up for the presale list.

Sign up 24 hours before the general public and increase your chances of getting a spot. We only open the certification program twice per year. Due to high demand, spots in the program are limited and have historically sold out in a matter of hours. But when you sign up for the presale list, we’ll give you the opportunity to register a full 24 hours before anyone else.

If you’re ready for a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results… this is your chance to see what the world’s top professional nutrition coaching system can do for you.

The post Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body. appeared first on Precision Nutrition.

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[litkpopscenarios]

Insomnia

Admin Marie

A/N: I didn’t have any time to reread so I hope there aren’t any typos but if there are, I apologize!

Word Count: 1457

Genre: Angst

Member: Woozi (Seventeen)

Summary: Nothing would be the same if you could’ve slept and if Woozi came home for your anniversary.

Part 2

You loved Jihoon. Sometimes, you weren’t always sure if Jihoon loved you as much as he said. He was hardly home, his priority was his job, not you. He used to live with you, but now he lives with the rest of his group, Seventeen in their dorm. You used to spend every night together, but now, you spent every night alone, watching your phone carefully, waiting for him to reply to a text of yours or even just to call. You were tired, not just of his crap, but everything in your life. You moved to South Korea after meeting Jihoon through your best friend, Joshua.

Joshua and you were neighbours growing up and best friends. He moved to Korea to follow his dream of being a singer, which was torture for you. He called you every day, no matter what he was doing because he promised you. After he debuted, he begged you to come visit you. Caving in with no resistance at all, you packed 2 weeks worth of clothes and you flew out to Seoul to see your best friend. When you got there, thirteen boys greeted you in the airport and you were shocked. You spent the two weeks staying in their dorm with them, even though they all knew if Pledis found out they would be screwed. They didn’t care though, because you were basically Joshua’s sister and if he cared about you, then they decided they did too.

All of the boys ended up liking you a lot. You were fun loving and laughed a lot, despite being so shy the first time you met them all. Jihoon took a special interest in you. One night he was up well past 4 in the morning and everyone else was asleep. You couldn’t sleep that night. It was about three days after you had arrived and you were still really jet lagged. You got of the bed you shared with Joshua and walked into the kitchen, hoping a glass of water would help with your current predicament. You heard the clicking of the keys on a keyboard coming from the living room. After you finished your water and had set the empty glass in the sink, you walked into the living room to see who was still up. Jihoon was sitting on the couch, glasses perched on his nose and typing away at a laptop. You observed his concentrated demeanor for a second and then decided to speak.

“Can’t sleep?” You asked. He jumped, his eyes flicking from his laptop screen to your face. “Sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you,” You said. He smiled after a second and patted the spot next to him. You walked over to him, sitting beside him.

“No, I can’t. I compose our music and I’m working on a new piece,” He replied.

“Can I hear it?” You asked. He shakes his head, looking frightened.

“No, not yet. Not until it’s perfect,” He replied.  After that, you two got closer and closer over the time you got to spend in Korea. On the second last day, Jihoon told you he was liked you. To you, that was a huge proclamation from someone you had known for two weeks. After persuasion from all of the boys, you ended up dropping your average life in LA and moving to South Korea. You got a job in as a waitress until you could find something more permanent. Exactly two years later, you had found a lot of things that were way more permanent but you loved you job and coworkers, so you stayed as a waitress.

Joshua and you have only become closer since you moved out, and now, you saw him more than your own boyfriend. You were happy you got to see your best friend, but it angered you that he made time for you and your boyfriend didn’t even do that.

Today, was Jihoon and your two year anniversary and you were spending it on your couch alone. After working a ten hour shift at the restaurant, you went back to your apartment and warmed up a pre made frozen meal, too tired and disappointed to actually cook. You picked up your phone, tapped on Jihoon’s contact name and typed a simple message. “Happy anniversary” is all it says. After you finish eating, you get up, deciding to make a change. You walk into the bedroom you and Jihoon share - or now shared - and open a bag. You collect all your stuff, throwing it into the bed without much care.

You slowly clear the apartment of your presence. He probably won’t even notice for a while. You clear all of your stuff into the boxes you kept in the closet for when you and Jihoon could move into a better home. The dream is erased though as you pack everything that is exclusively yours and doesn’t hold any sentimental value to him. Tears stream down your face as you finish packing, looking at your whole life packed up in front of you. You grab your phone and dial the number of one of your coworkers who is your closest friend besides Joshua. She picks up on the first ring.

“Jieun?” You ask.

“Yeah? Are you crying?” She asks. You start crying harder.

“I’m leaving him, Ji,” You say. She knows exactly who you’re talking about.

“I’ll be right there, you can stay with me as long as you need,” She says. You thank her profusely and she hangs up. You clean up your supper and your phone rings. It’s Joshua.

“Y/N?” His kind voice asks. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” He asks. You know he’ll tell Jihoon but you just don’t care.

“I’m leaving Jihoon, Josh,” You say. “Jieun is coming to pick me up. I’m going to stay with her until I find a new place.” Joshua is silent for a couple seconds.

“This is best for you?” He asks.

“Yes. It’s the best for both of us. He doesn’t need the stress I obviously cause him. Josh it’s been a week since we last spoke,” You cry into the phone.

“Text me Jieun’s address. I’ll be there,” He says.

“Please don’t tell him, Josh,” You say.

“I won’t. It’s not mine to share,” He assures.

“Thank you. Love you,” You say.

“Love you too. See you soon,” He says before you hang up the phone and sit on the couch. The front door slams open and the last person you want to see walks in. Jihoon’s eyes are scared as he looks at the boxes lying in front of the door. He scans them and then looks at you.

“There was something wrong when you texted me Happy Anniversary. I could tell,” He says. You don’t reply and stand up.

“So you saw my texts and just decided not to respond. I was thinking maybe you got a new phone,” You say.

“Are we going somewhere?” He asks.

“No, we aren’t. I am. I am leaving, right now,” You say shortly. Hi face twists into a look of shock.

“What? Why?” He asks.

“Because. Neither of us are happy, Jihoon. We barely even see each other anymore and what’s the point? I have texted you every day and the the past week you haven’t even bothered to respond. I get you’re busy and that your career is your priority and that’s okay, it just would’ve been nice to see an “I love you” once and awhile,” You say. He looks terrified and blocks the door.

“Can we talk this out? I’ll change for you, I’ll do better. Please, Y/N, I’ll do anything,” He begs. She shake your head, the tears coming again.

“I’m sorry. I am so so sorry. I don’t want to talk it out, I don’t want you to change. This isn’t working and that’s the truth,” You say. Your phone buzzes in your pocket displaying a text from Jieun, telling you she’s outside. You grab your duffle bag and two boxes. “I moved out here so we could be together. I gave up my life in LA for this and you couldn’t spare five seconds to text me,” You say. He steps out of the way and you open the door. His arms wrap around your frame, as he cries into the crook of your neck.

“Don’t go, Y/N, please don’t go,” He begs.

“Goodbye, Jihoon. Good luck in the future with Seventeen,” you say and walk away from him, the man you are completely in love with. That day you didn’t take everything of yours, in that apartment you left a part of your heart that belonged to Jihoon, one that you knew you would never get back.

[myquarantinediary2020]

Day ???

From now on I’ll title these by date, but right now it’s really April 6th, but the night of April 5th.  Does that make sense?  Honestly, I don’t care.  

I highly doubt anyone will ever see this, but in case that happens I’m going to make a disclaimer.  English is my first and only language, but I suck at it.  My grammar is poor, and without spell check my spelling is awful.  Pretty embarrassing for a 25 year old woman who grew up in an English speaking household, but oh well. This blog is going to basically a stream of conscious.   You ever feel like you can’t just rant about your problems to people, because you fear it’ll bore them or they won’t care, or they’ll avoid you and your negative thoughts?  Yeah, same.  That’s why I’m here.  If you read this, hopefully you can either relate, or are entertained.  Or both. Preferably both.  Is there a description box I should be putting this in?  I should’ve looked into that before writing, but I didn’t.  I’ll probably find that description box later on and regret typing this here, but I’m just going to leave this as is and if anything copy and paste.  Again, I don’t care.  I plan on being very honest about my what I do daily and, most importantly, my every day feelings.  I’m not making any promises, because in the back of my mind I always fear about people I know finding something like this and knowing thoughts I keep to myself.  In person I appear to be a pretty open person, but I’m actually incredibly private about my feelings and I’m trying to change that.

Anyways.  Today really, really sucked and that’s why I’m here.  I’ve cried for the past hour and feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to.  I am blessed that I have great friends who I’m sure if I called would listen to me cry and comfort me, but there’s few things that I hate more than people seeing me in a “weak” state.  Crying is NOT weak, but I’ve engraved that association into myself and have trouble letting anyone other than my mother see or hear me cry.

I’m social distancing by myself.  By choice?  Kind of.  I was social distancing for almost 3 with someone I’ve been kind of seeing on and off for the past 9 months.  Then I was basically told to go home.  That’s a story for another day.  I have family in this city I can go to,  but I want to hold onto any freedom I have by not staying with family.  I could stay with my aunt, but her and her husband are newly wed and I feel like I’d be intruding.  I could stay with my grandparents, but then I’d be basically letting go of any privacy I have.  My father lives in a neighboring province, but we don’t have a healthy relationship and it would be very bad spending an extended period of time with him in a space where neither of us can really leave.  I’d be trapped.  My mother lives in a different country, so that doesn’t help.  And, with any of these people,  I know I’d be constantly bombarded with the question “are you looking for a job?” Which I know they only ask, because they love and care about me, but this question makes my anxiety spiral and I’m already not in a great place right now.  

I got laid off March 13th (which is a Friday the 13th, how fitting), because I am a server and although restaurants hadn’t officially shut down in service yet, it was inevitable. I hardly have any savings, because I’m irresponsible and haven’t been able to get employment insurance as yet and blah blah blah.  I’ll get into it all more later on.  Maybe today, maybe not.  Honestly, it all just depends on how tired I am and whenever this writing “inspiration” drains down to “E.”  “E” as in like empty on a fuel tank.  Maybe you got it, maybe you didn’t until I explained it.  If you didn’t understand you are welcome for my explanation.  Okay, moving on.

Let’s do a play-by-play of my day.  I plan on this being kind of like reality TV, but you have to read it.  So....... less fun.  Or maybe more fun if you like reading more than watching TV.  I don’t know.  I don’t care.  If you got this far, thank you. 

My memory sucks,  but I’ll recap as best as possible.  I love how I just said that as if any of you actually know what I did in my day and would know if I’m missing something.

Also, I just want to say this one time, before I start.  I will also most likely only say this once.  Anything I am upset about for whatever reason is validated.  I know there are people who are worse off than me.  I know there are people who are praying to only have the “problems” that I have right now.  But you know what?  That doesn’t mean my feelings are invalid for any reason.  My problems are MY problems and what I can and cannot deal with mentally or physically is not dependent on the struggles of others.  I do, and will continue to, pray and hope for better days of those who are worse (and better) off than I.  That being said, if at any point you feel the need to make a comment (can you even comment on here? I don’t know, but either way...) about how you don’t think my problems are real problems, then you can just exit the screen and go do something else.  Save that for something else.

I woke up, did the usual.  Brushed my teeth.  Peed.  Morning poop.  Then I went for a run.  I only run a mile right now, because I have asthma and- actually you don’t care.  I ran a mile.  Went home, did some yoga and took a shower.  Then, I made breakfast.  I had avocado toast with a fried egg and some fruit (typical millennial).  Brought my breakfast outside, and sat on my balcony while I ate, people watched, and facetimed my friend while we worked on and prepped our podcast that we’re releasing tomorrow.  Or I guess today since it’s past midnight.  

While I opened my laptop, I noticed I got an email from amazon that somebody tried to long into my account in China.  China?!!?!?!?!?! I live in Canada!  It took me a while to sign into my account properly, but who knows what else they tried to sign into.  Then, when my friend and I were trying to get our episodes to be set up to release the next day on multiple platforms, we realized that it won’t show up on some of those platforms for a few days and so that was very frustrating, especially considering we already publicly announced the release date a week prior.  Then, my friend and I did shit all while we talked on the phone for 9 hours.  Yes, 9.  We’re basically trapped in our houses, what else are we supposed to do?  Don’t judge.

We got off the phone and this is where everything went downhill.  There’s 7 light bulbs out in my condo.  Yes, 7.  Stop judging.  No, these aren’t typos.  I already mentioned I’m irresponsible, so why are you surprised?  When I found out we had to stay inside and avoid other humans, I made myself a promise.

I will [at least attempt to] try to accomplish [most of the] things that I’ve been putting off for the longest time.  

Was that a proper use of those types of brackets?  I don’t know.  And..... you guessed it!  I don’t care.

So, one of those promises was to change those light bulbs.  The other day I bought 8 light bulbs and today was going to be the day.  First I went to the bathroom.  One of the lights above the mirror burned out.  I changed it.  I felt success.  I excitedly put the cover back over the light just to feel all my excitement drain right back out of me as I realized that the bulb I bought was too big and so the cover couldn’t fit back on.  Also the light bulb flickers.  I was like alright, not the worst, I’ll just take a working bulb from the hallway (which also needed a few changed).  I tried to change those, just to find out they were GU24 bulbs.  Do you know what that even is???? It’s okay, I didn’t either.  It’s a light bulb that plugs in, instead of screws.  WHY my place just can’t have regular light bulbs is beyond me.  I felt pretty defeated, because I have a problem of starting things and not finishing them, and another promise I had made to myself was to actually finish tasks.  Finding out I wasted money on 8 light bulbs I can’t use AND I can’t change my light bulbs at all was pretty disappointing.

After that I tried to rant on Instagram, but my phone has been acting up and now won’t record any audio if I record a video.  I can’t take my phone into the Apple Store, because they’re all closed.  I can’t send my phone in, because I need it, especially since I live alone.

Then I tried complete my employment insurance report, because I finally got my access code in the mail.  I’m pretty sure I put something wrong, because now it says I have to call them.  Do I want to call them?  Absolutely not.  The lines are going to be crazy, because everyone is calling.  This also will likely delay my payments which I really need, because I haven’t worked in 3 weeks.

This is when I broke down.  I’ve been feeling like a failure, more so recently, and this just felt like the icing on the cake.  I’ll go into this more later on (mostly because I’m tired and need to wrap this up) but I feel like I’m going through a quarter life crisis right now and have accomplished nothing in life.  I feel like I should know how to properly fill out an employment insurance application, but then again I’ve never needed it before, so how and why should I know how?

Ugh.  Honestly I’m wrapping this up now, because I’m tired.  I’ll try and write at least once a day.  I’m not promising I will though, so don’t expect it.  I’m not promising I’ll do anything.  I’d like to add a photo that represents something about my day.  Preferably, something positive.  If I don’t add one to this post, it’s because I couldn’t find one, or forgot.

If you’ve read this far, thank you.  I genuinely appreciate it.  Tomorrow I’ll go more into why this is all so stressful to me and all that.  No promises though.  It just actually feels good to write out how I’m feeling.   It’s 2:20 am currently and it’s time to drift into sleep.  

Actually hold on.  One thing I do want to do is at least end with one positive thing about the day.   I want to at least try to do this every time, because if I just constantly dwell in the negatives of my day to day life, I’ll probably go crazier.

The positive: talking to my friend for 9 hours.  I’m actually so grateful to have a friend that I am able to talk to seamlessly for hours on end.  She has the most beautiful soul and I am so blessed to have a friend like her in my life.

Okay, goodnight.  Chat soon.

2:23am.

[oovitus]

Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body.

The magazines got it wrong. Sure, the promise of “six-pack abs” might be motivating at the airport newsstand. But as soon as your flight’s delayed, it’s an easy goal to forget. Because stress, frustration, and… a conveniently-located Smashburger. (Same as every day, really.) There is a fix, though. If you’re willing to ask—and answer—some hard questions, you can discover a much deeper purpose for change. One that’ll ignite passion and drive you to get the results you want—no matter how badly the airline screws you.

++++

I could already see the pain in Michelle’s eyes as we sat down to talk.

“What are you hoping to achieve by hiring me?” I asked.

Michelle shrugged. “I just want to lose some weight and get fit again.”

After 10 years as a fitness coach, I knew there was more to the story. There always is.

“Have you always been overweight?” I asked.

She looked surprised at the personal question. I didn’t flinch.

After a moment, Michelle told me she’d been fighting her weight for more than 15 years. Now she has prediabetes.

“How does that make you feel?” I asked.

She hesitated again, but then said, “Scared. My mom was overweight and had diabetes, and I feel like I’m following in her footsteps.”

At this point, Michelle stopped holding back; tears trickled down her cheeks.

“It all hit me two weeks ago. My daughter said she didn’t trust me to be alone with my granddaughter because I’m too overweight and immobile to keep up. I was so devastated. So embarrassed.”

Many of us are like Michelle: Ashamed to talk about what’s really bothering us.

But since I started encouraging my clients to dig deep into their pain, their results have skyrocketed.

Why? Because to achieve real, lasting change, many people have to confront the emotional pain that’s making them want that change.

Once they do, their true motivation is crystalized. And that’s often far more powerful than any single exercise plan or diet approach.

The challenge is uncovering it.

++++

You never start with the pain.

When it comes to goals, people usually talk about losing fat or moving better or getting healthy. All fine aspirations, indeed.

But for many of us, these goals aren’t very meaningful in the context of our everyday lives. They’re more like health and fitness clichés.

Our true motivations run much deeper than having a “bikini body” or “sleeve-busting arms” (as the ads and coverlines promise).

That’s the surface level stuff we think we want.

Sure, these types of goals might inspire you to show up for six weeks of training and cut back on alcohol for a while. But for most people, how much do they really matter? How easy are they to give up on?

On the other hand… you know what’s way more motivating?

Michelle wanting to be able to take care of her granddaughter so badly that months of new habits, tiring workouts, and saying no to cupcakes in the break room seemed like the only choice. It wasn’t just a “look better” fitness goal—it was her burning passion.

Discovering why you really want to change gives you resolve.

A wise person (okay, it was Tony Robbins) once said: “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

There’s just one problem: A lot of us never actually get to the root of what’s bothering us. We don’t face our pain because it’s uncomfortable. As a result, we’re much more likely to stay the same.

Find your pain… to stoke your passion.

Sometimes, pain will be obvious: divorce, a scary diagnosis, the loss of a loved one. This kind of pain is easy to identify. It’s right there in front of you, flagging you down.

Other times, pain can be more subtle: It’s hiding in a dark corner of the basement—always there, even if you aren’t constantly aware of it.

Maybe it stems from all those times you were picked last as a kid. Or from that “harmless” comment a loved one made about your body… or about someone else’s body (who looks like you).

These hits of pain may not feel that impactful in the moment, but over time, they accrue power and influence over your actions and self-worth.

The result? Pain that’s hidden can crop up as:

avoiding activities that are fun or good for you, like going to a party or trying that new gym down the street

feeling your heart race when someone asks if you’re okay

revisiting some mortifying moment over and over, using it as evidence that you’re the worst

turning down exciting opportunities because your inner voice says, ‘No way, I can’t do that.’

living well into your 20s with the assumption you’ll never find companionship… because you got rejected on the middle school dance floor… and you assumed it was because the boys thought you were too big… so that must mean men don’t like you. (Is that TMI?)

These examples all suggest there’s trouble below the surface. Pain is discouraging you and holding you back. If you can access the source of this emotional discomfort, you can use it to achieve serious change.

Here’s how to do just that, in three steps.

Step #1: Find your true “why.”

Michelle wanted to lose weight, sure.

But more importantly, she wanted to be trusted to take care of her granddaughter. That was her real reason for wanting to lose weight.

In the Precision Nutrition coaching method, we call this “finding your why.”

Your “why” is the reason behind the reason… behind the reason… behind the surface reason you want to make a change in your life.

Finding your “why” is a shortcut to finding your pain.

Because often, your deepest reason for wanting to change your body or habits dredges up yucky stuff.

For example, the shame of having gained 30 pounds after having kids. (‘Why does every other mom seem to have it all together?’).

Or the helplessness of realizing you can’t even bend down to pick up a pencil off the floor.

Or the regret that comes with admitting you’re not the kind of active, inspiring father you want to be.

These are the “whys” that drive change.

Don’t settle for the easy answer.

Getting to your “deepest reason” requires some introspection. An exercise called the “5 Whys” can help kickstart the process.

Here’s how it works: Take your initial reason for wanting to make changes to your nutrition, workout routine, or lifestyle, and use that as a starting point.

Maybe you want to get fit. Now ask yourself “why?”

(If you’re a coach, you can go through this exercise with a client. You ask the questions, but let them do most of the talking.)

Keep asking—remember, it’s called the 5 Whys—until you feel like you’ve identified the real reason you want to change. The illustration below shows what this might look like.

Put in the work.

Some people can define—and confront—their “why” quickly. For others, it requires a little more time and effort.

Practicing meditation and/or mindfulness can help you access uncomfortable thoughts you’ve been avoiding or pushing away. To get started, try this simple mind-body scan.

Find a quiet place. Take 5 minutes and find somewhere you can be without interruptions. This could be just before bed or just after waking. Or in your office, resting on a park bench, or sitting in your parked car.

Notice physical sensations. Scan your body from the top of your head down to your toes, part by part. Note how you feel along the way. Don’t judge or rush to change anything.

Notice emotions and thoughts. Once you’ve done your “body scan,” do the same exercise for your emotions and thoughts. Again, don’t judge or try to make sense of it. Just observe.

Ask yourself 3 questions. Right now…

What am I feeling physically?

What am I feeling emotionally?

What am I thinking?

You may find it helpful to jot down a few notes after each session. (It’s okay if you can’t find the perfect words.)

Over time, you’ll notice feelings, thoughts, and ideas that crop up consistently. These can be important clues to revealing your “why”… and your pain.

Step #2: Turn your pain into action.

Let’s start with an example.

When Nivi Jaswal entered Precision Nutrition Coaching, she was overweight, stressed, and had prediabetes. Through lots of reflection, Nivi uncovered the pain that was holding her back: a deep fear of not being good enough. If she couldn’t do something perfectly, she wouldn’t do it at all. So now what?

Do the hard thing.

Once you’ve defined your pain, you have a framework to experiment with an exercise PN calls “difficult-easy” and “difficult-difficult.” (No, those aren’t typos.)

Difficult-easy describes things you do that are hard, but still within your comfort zone: going to work every day even though you hate your job, for example. Or giving up carbs again even though you love pasta and cookies.

In Nivi’s case, difficult-easy was spending countless hours researching diet and exercise routines, looking for the “perfect” answer.

Difficult-difficult, however, is the stuff that’s truly challenging—the actions you shy away from because they seem overwhelming or even impossible. This is the place where you grow.

Here are some examples:

For the mother who always prioritizes her family’s needs over her own, difficult-difficult might be carving out two hours per week for her favorite yoga classes.

For the business executive who chooses to work 60 hours a week, difficult-difficult might be hanging out with friends twice a month (to start).

For Nivi, difficult-difficult meant making small nutrition and lifestyle changes instead of going all-in. She was skeptical of this approach. It seemed like it wouldn’t work, and she was afraid she’d be wasting her time and effort. That’s what made it difficult-difficult.

Ask yourself:

What are you afraid of? Difficult-easy tasks tend to annoy us. Like when you say “yes” even though you don’t actually have any room on your plate for another task. Because saying “no” is too scary. The things that scare us are usually the difficult-difficult ones.

What would you do if it were Opposite Day? Difficult-easy stuff grinds you down, but you keep doing it anyway. Take a moment to consider: How’s that working for you? What could you do that’s new, that would force you to grow and put you on a new path? That’s your difficult-difficult.

Make one change at a time.

Once you’ve identified your difficult-difficult, chip away at it one small piece at a time. It might sound weird, but focusing on less can help you achieve more.

Pick one small, new habit.

Select one habit that supports progress toward the body and health you want. Make it something simple and reasonable, that you think you can practice every day.

Let’s say you want to get fitter, but you’re terrified of the gym because you feel like an outsider. Your difficult-difficult is hitting the gym on a regular basis.

Consider starting with a habit that gets you closer to that goal, but doesn’t go all the way.

For your first habit, you might choose one of these options:

foam rolling for a few minutes every morning

taking a 10-minute walk after dinner each evening

doing a 15-minute home workout twice a week

going to the gym once a week, but only committing to one exercise you’re comfortable with, and then leaving

Maybe one of these seems excruciatingly hard, while another is hard, but doable. Go with the latter.

Practice your habit.

Do your new habit every day for at least two weeks. Some days, it’ll feel like a grueling climb up Everest. Other days it may feel like you’re flying. Eventually, there’ll be more flying days than Everest ones. That’s how you know you’re ready for the next step.

Build on your habit.

Now maybe you’re ready for four home workouts per week, or two exercises when you go to the gym. Practice this new habit for another two weeks. Keep repeating this cycle.

With this practice, your difficult-difficult will become easier. As a result, you’ll get better at facing your pain and fears… and better at changing.

Step #3: Share your pain.

I once had a client named Nadia. Her commitment waxed and waned, and eventually she stopped showing up for workouts—a story any trainer knows all too well.

Two years later, Nadia asked if we could meet up. Over coffee, she explained she has a learning disability, but she’d been embarrassed to tell me about it before. During our workouts, she’d felt lost and anxious.

Armed with this new information, we figured out how to make her more comfortable this time around. She started showing up four days a week and made tons of progress.

Talking to people about your pain can:

take some of the pain’s power away (you could realize you’re not at fault)

make previously hidden solutions seem more obvious

open up new sources of support that weren’t available before

help you connect with people who are going through similar changes

let others know that you’re open to help, if they’re able to provide it.

Start with the people you love.

Even once Michelle opened up to me, she still had no intention of telling her husband or her daughter about her pain. At first, she didn’t even tell them she had joined a gym.

After a few months, she’d lost some weight, but her motivation started to dwindle, and she was still angry at her daughter. I asked her what she thought might happen if she talked to her daughter about it.

“I was really hoping to avoid conflict,” she said.

What resulted was the opposite. Michelle’s daughter and son-in-law were highly encouraging. In fact, both committed to making nutrition changes with her to show their support. Michelle’s husband even purged all the junk food from their house.

While there are no guarantees, most of the time, if you allow yourself to be vulnerable with the people you’re close to, they’ll rally to support you.

And that can make all the difference in continuing to make progress.

Give yourself permission to take it slow.

If you don’t feel ready to reveal your pain to someone else just yet, you can use the principles of stress inoculation training (SIT) to help you start sharing little by little.

SIT is like a stress vaccination. The basic idea is to slowly get comfortable being… uncomfortable.

Think of it like this: Exposing yourself to small amounts of stress regularly—in levels that don’t overwhelm you—trains you to handle much tougher situations. Just like with exercise.

In this case, tell your story in pieces, at your own pace, until you start to adapt to the stress of sharing. Or maybe reveal your pain in a journal first, then with a stranger, and then with someone you’re close to.

Because you can do this alone, but you don’t have to.

If it feels a little uncomfortable, you’re on the right track.

Remember, we call it difficult-difficult for a reason.

But if you’re willing to dig deep, find your why, and uncover the root of your pain, you may discover the purpose and passion you’ve been missing.

So move past thinking you “just want to get fit” or “can’t lose weight.” And open yourself to the possibility there’s more to the story.

That’s where you’ll find the motivation you really need… for the results you really want.

If you’re a coach, or you want to be…

Learning how to coach clients, patients, friends, or family members through healthy eating and lifestyle changes—by helping them discover their true motivation—is both an art and a science.

If you’d like to learn more about both, consider the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The next group kicks off shortly.

What’s it all about?

The Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification is the world’s most respected nutrition education program. It gives you the knowledge, systems, and tools you need to really understand how food influences a person’s health and fitness. Plus the ability to turn that knowledge into a thriving coaching practice.

Developed over 15 years, and proven with over 100,000 clients and patients, the Level 1 curriculum stands alone as the authority on the science of nutrition and the art of coaching.

Whether you’re already mid-career, or just starting out, the Level 1 Certification is your springboard to a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results.

[Of course, if you’re already a student or graduate of the Level 1 Certification, check out our Level 2 Certification Master Class. It’s an exclusive, year-long mentorship designed for elite professionals looking to master the art of coaching and be part of the top 1% of health and fitness coaches in the world.]

Interested? Add your name to the presale list. You’ll save up to 33% and secure your spot 24 hours before everyone else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019.

If you want to find out more, we’ve set up the following presale list, which gives you two advantages.

Pay less than everyone else. We like to reward people who are eager to boost their credentials and are ready to commit to getting the education they need. So we’re offering a discount of up to 33% off the general price when you sign up for the presale list.

Sign up 24 hours before the general public and increase your chances of getting a spot. We only open the certification program twice per year. Due to high demand, spots in the program are limited and have historically sold out in a matter of hours. But when you sign up for the presale list, we’ll give you the opportunity to register a full 24 hours before anyone else.

If you’re ready for a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results… this is your chance to see what the world’s top professional nutrition coaching system can do for you.

The post Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body. appeared first on Precision Nutrition.

Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body. published first on

[oovitus]

Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body.

The magazines got it wrong. Sure, the promise of “six-pack abs” might be motivating at the airport newsstand. But as soon as your flight’s delayed, it’s an easy goal to forget. Because stress, frustration, and… a conveniently-located Smashburger. (Same as every day, really.) There is a fix, though. If you’re willing to ask—and answer—some hard questions, you can discover a much deeper purpose for change. One that’ll ignite passion and drive you to get the results you want—no matter how badly the airline screws you.

++++

I could already see the pain in Michelle’s eyes as we sat down to talk.

“What are you hoping to achieve by hiring me?” I asked.

Michelle shrugged. “I just want to lose some weight and get fit again.”

After 10 years as a fitness coach, I knew there was more to the story. There always is.

“Have you always been overweight?” I asked.

She looked surprised at the personal question. I didn’t flinch.

After a moment, Michelle told me she’d been fighting her weight for more than 15 years. Now she has prediabetes.

“How does that make you feel?” I asked.

She hesitated again, but then said, “Scared. My mom was overweight and had diabetes, and I feel like I’m following in her footsteps.”

At this point, Michelle stopped holding back; tears trickled down her cheeks.

“It all hit me two weeks ago. My daughter said she didn’t trust me to be alone with my granddaughter because I’m too overweight and immobile to keep up. I was so devastated. So embarrassed.”

Many of us are like Michelle: Ashamed to talk about what’s really bothering us.

But since I started encouraging my clients to dig deep into their pain, their results have skyrocketed.

Why? Because to achieve real, lasting change, many people have to confront the emotional pain that’s making them want that change.

Once they do, their true motivation is crystalized. And that’s often far more powerful than any single exercise plan or diet approach.

The challenge is uncovering it.

++++

You never start with the pain.

When it comes to goals, people usually talk about losing fat or moving better or getting healthy. All fine aspirations, indeed.

But for many of us, these goals aren’t very meaningful in the context of our everyday lives. They’re more like health and fitness clichés.

Our true motivations run much deeper than having a “bikini body” or “sleeve-busting arms” (as the ads and coverlines promise).

That’s the surface level stuff we think we want.

Sure, these types of goals might inspire you to show up for six weeks of training and cut back on alcohol for a while. But for most people, how much do they really matter? How easy are they to give up on?

On the other hand… you know what’s way more motivating?

Michelle wanting to be able to take care of her granddaughter so badly that months of new habits, tiring workouts, and saying no to cupcakes in the break room seemed like the only choice. It wasn’t just a “look better” fitness goal—it was her burning passion.

Discovering why you really want to change gives you resolve.

A wise person (okay, it was Tony Robbins) once said: “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

There’s just one problem: A lot of us never actually get to the root of what’s bothering us. We don’t face our pain because it’s uncomfortable. As a result, we’re much more likely to stay the same.

Find your pain… to stoke your passion.

Sometimes, pain will be obvious: divorce, a scary diagnosis, the loss of a loved one. This kind of pain is easy to identify. It’s right there in front of you, flagging you down.

Other times, pain can be more subtle: It’s hiding in a dark corner of the basement—always there, even if you aren’t constantly aware of it.

Maybe it stems from all those times you were picked last as a kid. Or from that “harmless” comment a loved one made about your body… or about someone else’s body (who looks like you).

These hits of pain may not feel that impactful in the moment, but over time, they accrue power and influence over your actions and self-worth.

The result? Pain that’s hidden can crop up as:

avoiding activities that are fun or good for you, like going to a party or trying that new gym down the street

feeling your heart race when someone asks if you’re okay

revisiting some mortifying moment over and over, using it as evidence that you’re the worst

turning down exciting opportunities because your inner voice says, ‘No way, I can’t do that.’

living well into your 20s with the assumption you’ll never find companionship… because you got rejected on the middle school dance floor… and you assumed it was because the boys thought you were too big… so that must mean men don’t like you. (Is that TMI?)

These examples all suggest there’s trouble below the surface. Pain is discouraging you and holding you back. If you can access the source of this emotional discomfort, you can use it to achieve serious change.

Here’s how to do just that, in three steps.

Step #1: Find your true “why.”

Michelle wanted to lose weight, sure.

But more importantly, she wanted to be trusted to take care of her granddaughter. That was her real reason for wanting to lose weight.

In the Precision Nutrition coaching method, we call this “finding your why.”

Your “why” is the reason behind the reason… behind the reason… behind the surface reason you want to make a change in your life.

Finding your “why” is a shortcut to finding your pain.

Because often, your deepest reason for wanting to change your body or habits dredges up yucky stuff.

For example, the shame of having gained 30 pounds after having kids. (‘Why does every other mom seem to have it all together?’).

Or the helplessness of realizing you can’t even bend down to pick up a pencil off the floor.

Or the regret that comes with admitting you’re not the kind of active, inspiring father you want to be.

These are the “whys” that drive change.

Don’t settle for the easy answer.

Getting to your “deepest reason” requires some introspection. An exercise called the “5 Whys” can help kickstart the process.

Here’s how it works: Take your initial reason for wanting to make changes to your nutrition, workout routine, or lifestyle, and use that as a starting point.

Maybe you want to get fit. Now ask yourself “why?”

(If you’re a coach, you can go through this exercise with a client. You ask the questions, but let them do most of the talking.)

Keep asking—remember, it’s called the 5 Whys—until you feel like you’ve identified the real reason you want to change. The illustration below shows what this might look like.

Put in the work.

Some people can define—and confront—their “why” quickly. For others, it requires a little more time and effort.

Practicing meditation and/or mindfulness can help you access uncomfortable thoughts you’ve been avoiding or pushing away. To get started, try this simple mind-body scan.

Find a quiet place. Take 5 minutes and find somewhere you can be without interruptions. This could be just before bed or just after waking. Or in your office, resting on a park bench, or sitting in your parked car.

Notice physical sensations. Scan your body from the top of your head down to your toes, part by part. Note how you feel along the way. Don’t judge or rush to change anything.

Notice emotions and thoughts. Once you’ve done your “body scan,” do the same exercise for your emotions and thoughts. Again, don’t judge or try to make sense of it. Just observe.

Ask yourself 3 questions. Right now…

What am I feeling physically?

What am I feeling emotionally?

What am I thinking?

You may find it helpful to jot down a few notes after each session. (It’s okay if you can’t find the perfect words.)

Over time, you’ll notice feelings, thoughts, and ideas that crop up consistently. These can be important clues to revealing your “why”… and your pain.

Step #2: Turn your pain into action.

Let’s start with an example.

When Nivi Jaswal entered Precision Nutrition Coaching, she was overweight, stressed, and had prediabetes. Through lots of reflection, Nivi uncovered the pain that was holding her back: a deep fear of not being good enough. If she couldn’t do something perfectly, she wouldn’t do it at all. So now what?

Do the hard thing.

Once you’ve defined your pain, you have a framework to experiment with an exercise PN calls “difficult-easy” and “difficult-difficult.” (No, those aren’t typos.)

Difficult-easy describes things you do that are hard, but still within your comfort zone: going to work every day even though you hate your job, for example. Or giving up carbs again even though you love pasta and cookies.

In Nivi’s case, difficult-easy was spending countless hours researching diet and exercise routines, looking for the “perfect” answer.

Difficult-difficult, however, is the stuff that’s truly challenging—the actions you shy away from because they seem overwhelming or even impossible. This is the place where you grow.

Here are some examples:

For the mother who always prioritizes her family’s needs over her own, difficult-difficult might be carving out two hours per week for her favorite yoga classes.

For the business executive who chooses to work 60 hours a week, difficult-difficult might be hanging out with friends twice a month (to start).

For Nivi, difficult-difficult meant making small nutrition and lifestyle changes instead of going all-in. She was skeptical of this approach. It seemed like it wouldn’t work, and she was afraid she’d be wasting her time and effort. That’s what made it difficult-difficult.

Ask yourself:

What are you afraid of? Difficult-easy tasks tend to annoy us. Like when you say “yes” even though you don’t actually have any room on your plate for another task. Because saying “no” is too scary. The things that scare us are usually the difficult-difficult ones.

What would you do if it were Opposite Day? Difficult-easy stuff grinds you down, but you keep doing it anyway. Take a moment to consider: How’s that working for you? What could you do that’s new, that would force you to grow and put you on a new path? That’s your difficult-difficult.

Make one change at a time.

Once you’ve identified your difficult-difficult, chip away at it one small piece at a time. It might sound weird, but focusing on less can help you achieve more.

Pick one small, new habit.

Select one habit that supports progress toward the body and health you want. Make it something simple and reasonable, that you think you can practice every day.

Let’s say you want to get fitter, but you’re terrified of the gym because you feel like an outsider. Your difficult-difficult is hitting the gym on a regular basis.

Consider starting with a habit that gets you closer to that goal, but doesn’t go all the way.

For your first habit, you might choose one of these options:

foam rolling for a few minutes every morning

taking a 10-minute walk after dinner each evening

doing a 15-minute home workout twice a week

going to the gym once a week, but only committing to one exercise you’re comfortable with, and then leaving

Maybe one of these seems excruciatingly hard, while another is hard, but doable. Go with the latter.

Practice your habit.

Do your new habit every day for at least two weeks. Some days, it’ll feel like a grueling climb up Everest. Other days it may feel like you’re flying. Eventually, there’ll be more flying days than Everest ones. That’s how you know you’re ready for the next step.

Build on your habit.

Now maybe you’re ready for four home workouts per week, or two exercises when you go to the gym. Practice this new habit for another two weeks. Keep repeating this cycle.

With this practice, your difficult-difficult will become easier. As a result, you’ll get better at facing your pain and fears… and better at changing.

Step #3: Share your pain.

I once had a client named Nadia. Her commitment waxed and waned, and eventually she stopped showing up for workouts—a story any trainer knows all too well.

Two years later, Nadia asked if we could meet up. Over coffee, she explained she has a learning disability, but she’d been embarrassed to tell me about it before. During our workouts, she’d felt lost and anxious.

Armed with this new information, we figured out how to make her more comfortable this time around. She started showing up four days a week and made tons of progress.

Talking to people about your pain can:

take some of the pain’s power away (you could realize you’re not at fault)

make previously hidden solutions seem more obvious

open up new sources of support that weren’t available before

help you connect with people who are going through similar changes

let others know that you’re open to help, if they’re able to provide it.

Start with the people you love.

Even once Michelle opened up to me, she still had no intention of telling her husband or her daughter about her pain. At first, she didn’t even tell them she had joined a gym.

After a few months, she’d lost some weight, but her motivation started to dwindle, and she was still angry at her daughter. I asked her what she thought might happen if she talked to her daughter about it.

“I was really hoping to avoid conflict,” she said.

What resulted was the opposite. Michelle’s daughter and son-in-law were highly encouraging. In fact, both committed to making nutrition changes with her to show their support. Michelle’s husband even purged all the junk food from their house.

While there are no guarantees, most of the time, if you allow yourself to be vulnerable with the people you’re close to, they’ll rally to support you.

And that can make all the difference in continuing to make progress.

Give yourself permission to take it slow.

If you don’t feel ready to reveal your pain to someone else just yet, you can use the principles of stress inoculation training (SIT) to help you start sharing little by little.

SIT is like a stress vaccination. The basic idea is to slowly get comfortable being… uncomfortable.

Think of it like this: Exposing yourself to small amounts of stress regularly—in levels that don’t overwhelm you—trains you to handle much tougher situations. Just like with exercise.

In this case, tell your story in pieces, at your own pace, until you start to adapt to the stress of sharing. Or maybe reveal your pain in a journal first, then with a stranger, and then with someone you’re close to.

Because you can do this alone, but you don’t have to.

If it feels a little uncomfortable, you’re on the right track.

Remember, we call it difficult-difficult for a reason.

But if you’re willing to dig deep, find your why, and uncover the root of your pain, you may discover the purpose and passion you’ve been missing.

So move past thinking you “just want to get fit” or “can’t lose weight.” And open yourself to the possibility there’s more to the story.

That’s where you’ll find the motivation you really need… for the results you really want.

If you’re a coach, or you want to be…

Learning how to coach clients, patients, friends, or family members through healthy eating and lifestyle changes—by helping them discover their true motivation—is both an art and a science.

If you’d like to learn more about both, consider the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The next group kicks off shortly.

What’s it all about?

The Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification is the world’s most respected nutrition education program. It gives you the knowledge, systems, and tools you need to really understand how food influences a person’s health and fitness. Plus the ability to turn that knowledge into a thriving coaching practice.

Developed over 15 years, and proven with over 100,000 clients and patients, the Level 1 curriculum stands alone as the authority on the science of nutrition and the art of coaching.

Whether you’re already mid-career, or just starting out, the Level 1 Certification is your springboard to a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results.

[Of course, if you’re already a student or graduate of the Level 1 Certification, check out our Level 2 Certification Master Class. It’s an exclusive, year-long mentorship designed for elite professionals looking to master the art of coaching and be part of the top 1% of health and fitness coaches in the world.]

Interested? Add your name to the presale list. You’ll save up to 33% and secure your spot 24 hours before everyone else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019.

If you want to find out more, we’ve set up the following presale list, which gives you two advantages.

Pay less than everyone else. We like to reward people who are eager to boost their credentials and are ready to commit to getting the education they need. So we’re offering a discount of up to 33% off the general price when you sign up for the presale list.

Sign up 24 hours before the general public and increase your chances of getting a spot. We only open the certification program twice per year. Due to high demand, spots in the program are limited and have historically sold out in a matter of hours. But when you sign up for the presale list, we’ll give you the opportunity to register a full 24 hours before anyone else.

If you’re ready for a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results… this is your chance to see what the world’s top professional nutrition coaching system can do for you.

The post Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body. appeared first on Precision Nutrition.

Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body. published first on https://storeseapharmacy.tumblr.com

[oovitus]

Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body.

The magazines got it wrong. Sure, the promise of “six-pack abs” might be motivating at the airport newsstand. But as soon as your flight’s delayed, it’s an easy goal to forget. Because stress, frustration, and… a conveniently-located Smashburger. (Same as every day, really.) There is a fix, though. If you’re willing to ask—and answer—some hard questions, you can discover a much deeper purpose for change. One that’ll ignite passion and drive you to get the results you want—no matter how badly the airline screws you.

++++

I could already see the pain in Michelle’s eyes as we sat down in a quiet corner of my gym.

“What are you hoping to achieve by hiring me?” I asked.

Michelle shrugged. “I just want to lose some weight and get fit again.”

After 10 years as a fitness coach, I knew there was more to the story. There always is.

“Have you always been overweight?” I asked.

She looked surprised at the personal question. I didn’t flinch.

After a moment, Michelle told me she’d been fighting her weight for more than 15 years. Now she as prediabetes.

“How does that make you feel?” I asked.

She hesitated again, but then said, “Scared. My mom was overweight and had diabetes, and I feel like I’m following in her footsteps.”

At this point, Michelle stopped holding back; tears trickled down her cheeks.

“It all hit me two weeks ago. My daughter said she didn’t trust me to be alone with my granddaughter because I’m too overweight and immobile to keep up. I was so devastated. So embarrassed.”

Many of us are like Michelle: Ashamed to talk about what’s really bothering us.

But since I started encouraging my clients to dig deep into their pain, their results have skyrocketed.

Why? Because to achieve real, lasting change, many people have to confront the emotional pain that’s making them want that change.

Once they do, their true motivation is crystalized. And that’s often far more powerful than any exercise plan or diet approach.

The challenge is uncovering it.

++++

You never start with the pain.

When it comes to goals, people usually talk about losing fat or moving better or getting healthy. All fine aspirations, indeed.

But for many of us, these goals aren’t very meaningful in the context of our everyday lives. They’re more like health and fitness clichés.

Our true motivations run much deeper than having a “bikini body” or “sleeve-busting arms” (as the ads and coverlines promise).

That’s the surface level stuff we think we want.

Sure, these types of goals might inspire you to show up for six weeks of training and cut back on alcohol for a while. But for most people, how much do they really matter? How easy are they to give up on?

On the other hand… you know what’s way more motivating?

Michelle wanting to be able to take care of her granddaughter so badly that months of new habits, tiring workouts, and saying no to cupcakes in the break room seemed like the only choice. It wasn’t just a “look better” fitness goal—it was her burning passion.

Discovering why you really want to change gives you resolve.

A wise person (okay, it was Tony Robbins) once said: “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

There’s just one problem: A lot of us never actually get to the root of what’s bothering us. We don’t face our pain because it’s uncomfortable. As a result, we’re much more likely to stay the same.

Find your pain… to stoke your passion.

Sometimes, pain will be obvious: divorce, a scary diagnosis, the loss of a loved one. This kind of pain is easy to identify. It’s right there in front of you, flagging you down.

Other times, pain can be more subtle: It’s hiding in a dark corner of the basement—always there, even if you aren’t constantly aware of it.

Maybe it stems from all those times you were picked last as a kid. Or from that “harmless” comment a loved one made about your body… or about someone else’s body (who looks like you).

These hits of pain may not feel that impactful in the moment, but over time, they accrue power and influence over your actions and self-worth.

The result? Pain that’s hidden can crop up as:

avoiding activities that are fun or good for you, like going to a party or trying that new gym down the street

feeling your heart race when someone asks if you’re okay

revisiting some mortifying moment over and over, using it as evidence that you’re the worst

turning down exciting opportunities because your inner voice says, ‘No way, I can’t do that.’

living well into your 20s with the assumption you’ll never find companionship… because you got rejected on the middle school dance floor… and you assumed it was because the boys thought you were too big… so that must mean men don’t like you. (Is that oddly specific?)

These examples all suggest there’s trouble below the surface. Pain is discouraging you and holding you back. If you can access the source of this emotional discomfort, you can use it to achieve serious change.

Here’s how to do just that, in three steps.

Step #1: Find your true “why.”

Michelle wanted to lose weight, sure.

But more importantly, she wanted to be trusted to take care of her granddaughter. That was her real reason for wanting to lose weight.

In the Precision Nutrition coaching method, we call this “finding your why.”

Your “why” is the reason behind the reason… behind the reason… behind the surface reason you want to make a change in your life.

Finding your “why” is a shortcut to finding your pain.

Because often, your deepest reason for wanting to change your body or habits dredges up yucky stuff.

For example, the shame of having gained 30 pounds after having kids. (‘Why does every other mom seem to have it all together?’).

Or the helplessness of realizing you can’t even bend down to pick a pencil off the floor.

Or the regret that comes with admitting you’re not the kind of active, inspiring father you want to be.

These are the “whys” that drive change.

Don’t settle for the easy answer.

Getting to your “deepest reason” requires some introspection. An exercise called the “5 Whys” can help kickstart the process.

Here’s how it works: Take your initial reason for wanting to make changes to your nutrition, workout routine, or lifestyle, and use that as a starting point.

Maybe you want to get fit. Now ask yourself “why?”

(If you’re a coach, you can go through this exercise with a client. You ask the questions, but let them do most of the talking.)

Keep asking—remember, it’s called the 5 Whys—until you feel like you’ve identified the real reason you want to change. The illustration below shows what this might look like.

Put in the work.

Some people can define—and confront—their “why” quickly. For others, it requires a little more time and effort.

Practicing meditation and/or mindfulness can help you access uncomfortable thoughts you’ve been avoiding or pushing away. To get started, try this simple mind-body scan.

Find a quiet place. Take 5 minutes and find somewhere you can be without interruptions. This could be just before bed or just after waking. Or in your office, resting on a park bench, or sitting in your parked car.

Notice physical sensations. Scan your body from the top of your head down to your toes, part by part. Note how you feel along the way. Don’t judge or rush to change anything.

Notice emotions and thoughts. Once you’ve done your “body scan,” do the same exercise for your emotions and thoughts. Again, don’t judge or try to make sense of it. Just observe.

Ask yourself 3 questions. Right now…

What am I feeling physically?

What am I feeling emotionally?

What am I thinking?

You may find it helpful to jot down a few notes after each session. (It’s okay if you can’t find the perfect words.)

Over time, you’ll likely notice feelings, thoughts, and ideas that crop up consistently. These can be important clues to revealing your “why”… and your pain.

Step #2: Turn your pain into action.

Let’s start with an example.

When Nivi Jaswal entered Precision Nutrition Coaching, she was overweight, stressed, and had prediabetes. Through lots of reflection, Nivi uncovered the pain that was holding her back: a deep fear of not being good enough. If she couldn’t do something perfectly, she wouldn’t do it at all. So now what?

Do the hard thing.

Once you’ve defined your pain, you have a framework to experiment with an exercise PN calls “difficult-easy” and “difficult-difficult.” (No, those aren’t typos.)

Difficult-easy describes things you do that are hard, but still within your comfort zone: going to work every day even though you hate your job, for example. Or giving up carbs again even though you love pasta and cookies.

In Nivi’s case, difficult-easy was spending countless hours researching diet and exercise routines, looking for the “perfect” answer.

Difficult-difficult, however, is the stuff that’s truly challenging—the actions you shy away from because they seem overwhelming or even impossible. This is the place where you grow.

Here are some examples:

For the mother who always prioritizes her family’s needs over her own, difficult-difficult might be carving out two hours per week for her favorite yoga classes.

For the business executive who chooses to work 60 hours a week, difficult-difficult might be hanging out with friends twice a month (to start).

For Nivi, difficult-difficult meant making small nutrition and lifestyle changes instead of going all-in. She was skeptical of this approach. It seemed like it wouldn’t work, and she was afraid she’d be wasting her time and effort. That’s what made it difficult-difficult.

Ask yourself:

What are you afraid of? Difficult-easy tasks tend to annoy us. Like when you say “yes” even though you don’t actually have any room on your plate for another task. Because saying “no” is too scary. The things that scare us are usually the difficult-difficult ones.

What would you do if it were Opposite Day? Difficult-easy stuff grinds you down, but you keep doing it anyway. Take a moment to consider: How’s that working for you? What could you do that’s new, that would force you to grow and put you on a new path? That’s your difficult-difficult.

Make one change at a time.

Once you’ve identified your difficult-difficult, chip away at it one small piece at a time. It might sound weird, but focusing on less can help you achieve more.

Pick one small, new habit.

Select one habit that supports progress toward the body and health you want. Make it something simple and reasonable, that you think you can practice every day.

Let’s say you want to get fitter, but you’re terrified of the gym because you feel like an outsider. Your difficult-difficult is hitting the gym on a regular basis.

Consider starting with a habit that gets you closer to that goal, but doesn’t go all the way.

For your first habit, you might choose one of these options:

foam rolling for a few minutes every morning

taking a 10-minute walk after dinner each evening

doing a 15-minute home workout twice a week

going to the gym once a week, but only committing to one exercise you’re comfortable with, and then leaving

Maybe one of these seems excruciatingly hard, while another is hard, but doable. Go with the latter.

Practice your habit.

Do your new habit every day for at least two weeks. Some days, it’ll feel like a grueling climb up Everest. Other days it may feel like you’re flying. Eventually, there’ll be more flying days than Everest ones. That’s how you know you’re ready for the next step.

Build on your habit.

Now maybe you’re ready for four home workouts per week, or two exercises when you go to the gym. Practice this new habit for another two weeks. Keep repeating this cycle.

With this practice, your difficult-difficult will become easier. As a result, you’ll get better at facing your pain and fears… and better at changing.

Step #3: Share your pain.

I once had a client named Nadia. Her commitment waxed and waned, and eventually she stopped showing up for workouts—a story any trainer knows all too well.

Two years later, Nadia asked if we could meet up. Over coffee, she explained she has a learning disability, but she’d been embarrassed to tell me about it before. During our workouts, she’d felt lost and anxious.

Armed with this new information, we figured out how to make her more comfortable this time around. She started showing up four days a week and made tons of progress.

Talking to people about your pain can:

take some of the pain’s power away (you could realize you’re not at fault)

make previously hidden solutions seem more obvious

open up new sources of support that weren’t available before

help you connect with people who are going through similar changes

let others know that you’re open to help, if they’re able to provide it.

Start with the people you love.

Even once Michelle opened up to me, she still had no intention of telling her husband or her daughter about her pain. At first, she didn’t even tell them she had joined a gym.

After a few months, she’d lost some weight, but her motivation started to dwindle, and she was still angry at her daughter. I asked her what she thought might happen if she talked to her daughter about it.

“I was really hoping to avoid conflict,” she said.

What resulted was the opposite. Michelle’s daughter and son-in-law were highly encouraging. In fact, both committed to making nutrition changes with her to show their support. Michelle’s husband even purged all the junk food from their house.

While there are no guarantees, most of the time, if you allow yourself to be vulnerable with the people you’re close to, they’ll rally to support you.

And that can make all the difference in continuing to make progress.

Give yourself permission to take it slow.

If you don’t feel ready to reveal your pain to someone else just yet, you can use the principles of stress inoculation training (SIT) to help you start sharing little by little.

SIT is like a stress vaccination. The basic idea is to slowly get comfortable being… uncomfortable.

Think of it like this: Exposing yourself to small amounts of stress regularly—in levels that don’t overwhelm you—trains you to handle much tougher situations. Just like with exercise.

In this case, tell your story in pieces, at your own pace, until you start to adapt to the stress of sharing. Or maybe reveal your pain in a journal first, then with a stranger, and then with someone you’re close to.

Because you can do this alone, but you don’t have to.

If it feels a little uncomfortable, you’re on the right track.

Remember, we call it difficult-difficult for a reason.

But if you’re willing to dig deep, find your why, and uncover the root of your pain, you may discover the purpose and passion you’ve been missing.

So move past thinking you “just want to get fit” or “can’t lose weight.” And open yourself to the possibility there’s more to the story.

That’s where you’ll find the motivation you really need… for the results you really want.

If you’re a coach, or you want to be…

Learning how to coach clients, patients, friends, or family members through healthy eating and lifestyle changes—by helping them discover their true motivation—is both an art and a science.

If you’d like to learn more about both, consider the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The next group kicks off shortly.

What’s it all about?

The Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification is the world’s most respected nutrition education program. It gives you the knowledge, systems, and tools you need to really understand how food influences a person’s health and fitness. Plus the ability to turn that knowledge into a thriving coaching practice.

Developed over 15 years, and proven with over 100,000 clients and patients, the Level 1 curriculum stands alone as the authority on the science of nutrition and the art of coaching.

Whether you’re already mid-career, or just starting out, the Level 1 Certification is your springboard to a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results.

[Of course, if you’re already a student or graduate of the Level 1 Certification, check out our Level 2 Certification Master Class. It’s an exclusive, year-long mentorship designed for elite professionals looking to master the art of coaching and be part of the top 1% of health and fitness coaches in the world.]

Interested? Add your name to the presale list. You’ll save up to 33% and secure your spot 24 hours before everyone else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019.

If you want to find out more, we’ve set up the following presale list, which gives you two advantages.

Pay less than everyone else. We like to reward people who are eager to boost their credentials and are ready to commit to getting the education they need. So we’re offering a discount of up to 33% off the general price when you sign up for the presale list.

Sign up 24 hours before the general public and increase your chances of getting a spot. We only open the certification program twice per year. Due to high demand, spots in the program are limited and have historically sold out in a matter of hours. But when you sign up for the presale list, we’ll give you the opportunity to register a full 24 hours before anyone else.

If you’re ready for a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results… this is your chance to see what the world’s top professional nutrition coaching system can do for you.

The post Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body. appeared first on Precision Nutrition.

Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body. published first on https://storeseapharmacy.tumblr.com

[oovitus]

Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body.

The magazines got it wrong. Sure, the promise of “six-pack abs” might be motivating at the airport newsstand. But as soon as your flight’s delayed, it’s an easy goal to forget. Because stress, frustration, and… a conveniently-located Smashburger. (Same as every day, really.) There is a fix, though. If you’re willing to ask—and answer—some hard questions, you can discover a much deeper purpose for change. One that’ll ignite passion and drive you to get the results you want—no matter how badly the airline screws you.

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I could already see the pain in Michelle’s eyes as we sat down in a quiet corner of my gym.

“What are you hoping to achieve by hiring me?” I asked.

Michelle shrugged. “I just want to lose some weight and get fit again.”

After 10 years as a fitness coach, I knew there was more to the story. There always is.

“Have you always been overweight?” I asked.

She looked surprised at the personal question. I didn’t flinch.

After a moment, Michelle told me she’d been fighting her weight for more than 15 years. Now she as prediabetes.

“How does that make you feel?” I asked.

She hesitated again, but then said, “Scared. My mom was overweight and had diabetes, and I feel like I’m following in her footsteps.”

At this point, Michelle stopped holding back; tears trickled down her cheeks.

“It all hit me two weeks ago. My daughter said she didn’t trust me to be alone with my granddaughter because I’m too overweight and immobile to keep up. I was so devastated. So embarrassed.”

Many of us are like Michelle: Ashamed to talk about what’s really bothering us.

But since I started encouraging my clients to dig deep into their pain, their results have skyrocketed.

Why? Because to achieve real, lasting change, many people have to confront the emotional pain that’s making them want that change.

Once they do, their true motivation is crystalized. And that’s often far more powerful than any exercise plan or diet approach.

The challenge is uncovering it.

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You never start with the pain.

When it comes to goals, people usually talk about losing fat or moving better or getting healthy. All fine aspirations, indeed.

But for many of us, these goals aren’t very meaningful in the context of our everyday lives. They’re more like health and fitness clichés.

Our true motivations run much deeper than having a “bikini body” or “sleeve-busting arms” (as the ads and coverlines promise).

That’s the surface level stuff we think we want.

Sure, these types of goals might inspire you to show up for six weeks of training and cut back on alcohol for a while. But for most people, how much do they really matter? How easy are they to give up on?

On the other hand… you know what’s way more motivating?

Michelle wanting to be able to take care of her granddaughter so badly that months of new habits, tiring workouts, and saying no to cupcakes in the break room seemed like the only choice. It wasn’t just a “look better” fitness goal—it was her burning passion.

Discovering why you really want to change gives you resolve.

A wise person (okay, it was Tony Robbins) once said: “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

There’s just one problem: A lot of us never actually get to the root of what’s bothering us. We don’t face our pain because it’s uncomfortable. As a result, we’re much more likely to stay the same.

Find your pain… to stoke your passion.

Sometimes, pain will be obvious: divorce, a scary diagnosis, the loss of a loved one. This kind of pain is easy to identify. It’s right there in front of you, flagging you down.

Other times, pain can be more subtle: It’s hiding in a dark corner of the basement—always there, even if you aren’t constantly aware of it.

Maybe it stems from all those times you were picked last as a kid. Or from that “harmless” comment a loved one made about your body… or about someone else’s body (who looks like you).

These hits of pain may not feel that impactful in the moment, but over time, they accrue power and influence over your actions and self-worth.

The result? Pain that’s hidden can crop up as:

avoiding activities that are fun or good for you, like going to a party or trying that new gym down the street

feeling your heart race when someone asks if you’re okay

revisiting some mortifying moment over and over, using it as evidence that you’re the worst

turning down exciting opportunities because your inner voice says, ‘No way, I can’t do that.’

living well into your 20s with the assumption you’ll never find companionship… because you got rejected on the middle school dance floor… and you assumed it was because the boys thought you were too big… so that must mean men don’t like you. (Is that oddly specific?)

These examples all suggest there’s trouble below the surface. Pain is discouraging you and holding you back. If you can access the source of this emotional discomfort, you can use it to achieve serious change.

Here’s how to do just that, in three steps.

Step #1: Find your true “why.”

Michelle wanted to lose weight, sure.

But more importantly, she wanted to be trusted to take care of her granddaughter. That was her real reason for wanting to lose weight.

In the Precision Nutrition coaching method, we call this “finding your why.”

Your “why” is the reason behind the reason… behind the reason… behind the surface reason you want to make a change in your life.

Finding your “why” is a shortcut to finding your pain.

Because often, your deepest reason for wanting to change your body or habits dredges up yucky stuff.

For example, the shame of having gained 30 pounds after having kids. (‘Why does every other mom seem to have it all together?’).

Or the helplessness of realizing you can’t even bend down to pick a pencil off the floor.

Or the regret that comes with admitting you’re not the kind of active, inspiring father you want to be.

These are the “whys” that drive change.

Don’t settle for the easy answer.

Getting to your “deepest reason” requires some introspection. An exercise called the “5 Whys” can help kickstart the process.

Here’s how it works: Take your initial reason for wanting to make changes to your nutrition, workout routine, or lifestyle, and use that as a starting point.

Maybe you want to get fit. Now ask yourself “why?”

(If you’re a coach, you can go through this exercise with a client. You ask the questions, but let them do most of the talking.)

Keep asking—remember, it’s called the 5 Whys—until you feel like you’ve identified the real reason you want to change. The illustration below shows what this might look like.

Put in the work.

Some people can define—and confront—their “why” quickly. For others, it requires a little more time and effort.

Practicing meditation and/or mindfulness can help you access uncomfortable thoughts you’ve been avoiding or pushing away. To get started, try this simple mind-body scan.

Find a quiet place. Take 5 minutes and find somewhere you can be without interruptions. This could be just before bed or just after waking. Or in your office, resting on a park bench, or sitting in your parked car.

Notice physical sensations. Scan your body from the top of your head down to your toes, part by part. Note how you feel along the way. Don’t judge or rush to change anything.

Notice emotions and thoughts. Once you’ve done your “body scan,” do the same exercise for your emotions and thoughts. Again, don’t judge or try to make sense of it. Just observe.

Ask yourself 3 questions. Right now…

What am I feeling physically?

What am I feeling emotionally?

What am I thinking?

You may find it helpful to jot down a few notes after each session. (It’s okay if you can’t find the perfect words.)

Over time, you’ll likely notice feelings, thoughts, and ideas that crop up consistently. These can be important clues to revealing your “why”… and your pain.

Step #2: Turn your pain into action.

Let’s start with an example.

When Nivi Jaswal entered Precision Nutrition Coaching, she was overweight, stressed, and had prediabetes. Through lots of reflection, Nivi uncovered the pain that was holding her back: a deep fear of not being good enough. If she couldn’t do something perfectly, she wouldn’t do it at all. So now what?

Do the hard thing.

Once you’ve defined your pain, you have a framework to experiment with an exercise PN calls “difficult-easy” and “difficult-difficult.” (No, those aren’t typos.)

Difficult-easy describes things you do that are hard, but still within your comfort zone: going to work every day even though you hate your job, for example. Or giving up carbs again even though you love pasta and cookies.

In Nivi’s case, difficult-easy was spending countless hours researching diet and exercise routines, looking for the “perfect” answer.

Difficult-difficult, however, is the stuff that’s truly challenging—the actions you shy away from because they seem overwhelming or even impossible. This is the place where you grow.

Here are some examples:

For the mother who always prioritizes her family’s needs over her own, difficult-difficult might be carving out two hours per week for her favorite yoga classes.

For the business executive who chooses to work 60 hours a week, difficult-difficult might be hanging out with friends twice a month (to start).

For Nivi, difficult-difficult meant making small nutrition and lifestyle changes instead of going all-in. She was skeptical of this approach. It seemed like it wouldn’t work, and she was afraid she’d be wasting her time and effort. That’s what made it difficult-difficult.

Ask yourself:

What are you afraid of? Difficult-easy tasks tend to annoy us. Like when you say “yes” even though you don’t actually have any room on your plate for another task. Because saying “no” is too scary. The things that scare us are usually the difficult-difficult ones.

What would you do if it were Opposite Day? Difficult-easy stuff grinds you down, but you keep doing it anyway. Take a moment to consider: How’s that working for you? What could you do that’s new, that would force you to grow and put you on a new path? That’s your difficult-difficult.

Make one change at a time.

Once you’ve identified your difficult-difficult, chip away at it one small piece at a time. It might sound weird, but focusing on less can help you achieve more.

Pick one small, new habit.

Select one habit that supports progress toward the body and health you want. Make it something simple and reasonable, that you think you can practice every day.

Let’s say you want to get fitter, but you’re terrified of the gym because you feel like an outsider. Your difficult-difficult is hitting the gym on a regular basis.

Consider starting with a habit that gets you closer to that goal, but doesn’t go all the way.

For your first habit, you might choose one of these options:

foam rolling for a few minutes every morning

taking a 10-minute walk after dinner each evening

doing a 15-minute home workout twice a week

going to the gym once a week, but only committing to one exercise you’re comfortable with, and then leaving

Maybe one of these seems excruciatingly hard, while another is hard, but doable. Go with the latter.

Practice your habit.

Do your new habit every day for at least two weeks. Some days, it’ll feel like a grueling climb up Everest. Other days it may feel like you’re flying. Eventually, there’ll be more flying days than Everest ones. That’s how you know you’re ready for the next step.

Build on your habit.

Now maybe you’re ready for four home workouts per week, or two exercises when you go to the gym. Practice this new habit for another two weeks. Keep repeating this cycle.

With this practice, your difficult-difficult will become easier. As a result, you’ll get better at facing your pain and fears… and better at changing.

Step #3: Share your pain.

I once had a client named Nadia. Her commitment waxed and waned, and eventually she stopped showing up for workouts—a story any trainer knows all too well.

Two years later, Nadia asked if we could meet up. Over coffee, she explained she has a learning disability, but she’d been embarrassed to tell me about it before. During our workouts, she’d felt lost and anxious.

Armed with this new information, we figured out how to make her more comfortable this time around. She started showing up four days a week and made tons of progress.

Talking to people about your pain can:

take some of the pain’s power away (you could realize you’re not at fault)

make previously hidden solutions seem more obvious

open up new sources of support that weren’t available before

help you connect with people who are going through similar changes

let others know that you’re open to help, if they’re able to provide it.

Start with the people you love.

Even once Michelle opened up to me, she still had no intention of telling her husband or her daughter about her pain. At first, she didn’t even tell them she had joined a gym.

After a few months, she’d lost some weight, but her motivation started to dwindle, and she was still angry at her daughter. I asked her what she thought might happen if she talked to her daughter about it.

“I was really hoping to avoid conflict,” she said.

What resulted was the opposite. Michelle’s daughter and son-in-law were highly encouraging. In fact, both committed to making nutrition changes with her to show their support. Michelle’s husband even purged all the junk food from their house.

While there are no guarantees, most of the time, if you allow yourself to be vulnerable with the people you’re close to, they’ll rally to support you.

And that can make all the difference in continuing to make progress.

Give yourself permission to take it slow.

If you don’t feel ready to reveal your pain to someone else just yet, you can use the principles of stress inoculation training (SIT) to help you start sharing little by little.

SIT is like a stress vaccination. The basic idea is to slowly get comfortable being… uncomfortable.

Think of it like this: Exposing yourself to small amounts of stress regularly—in levels that don’t overwhelm you—trains you to handle much tougher situations. Just like with exercise.

In this case, tell your story in pieces, at your own pace, until you start to adapt to the stress of sharing. Or maybe reveal your pain in a journal first, then with a stranger, and then with someone you’re close to.

Because you can do this alone, but you don’t have to.

If it feels a little uncomfortable, you’re on the right track.

Remember, we call it difficult-difficult for a reason.

But if you’re willing to dig deep, find your why, and uncover the root of your pain, you may discover the purpose and passion you’ve been missing.

So move past thinking you “just want to get fit” or “can’t lose weight.” And open yourself to the possibility there’s more to the story.

That’s where you’ll find the motivation you really need… for the results you really want.

If you’re a coach, or you want to be…

Learning how to coach clients, patients, friends, or family members through healthy eating and lifestyle changes—by helping them discover their true motivation—is both an art and a science.

If you’d like to learn more about both, consider the Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification. The next group kicks off shortly.

What’s it all about?

The Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification is the world’s most respected nutrition education program. It gives you the knowledge, systems, and tools you need to really understand how food influences a person’s health and fitness. Plus the ability to turn that knowledge into a thriving coaching practice.

Developed over 15 years, and proven with over 100,000 clients and patients, the Level 1 curriculum stands alone as the authority on the science of nutrition and the art of coaching.

Whether you’re already mid-career, or just starting out, the Level 1 Certification is your springboard to a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results.

[Of course, if you’re already a student or graduate of the Level 1 Certification, check out our Level 2 Certification Master Class. It’s an exclusive, year-long mentorship designed for elite professionals looking to master the art of coaching and be part of the top 1% of health and fitness coaches in the world.]

Interested? Add your name to the presale list. You’ll save up to 33% and secure your spot 24 hours before everyone else.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification on Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019.

If you want to find out more, we’ve set up the following presale list, which gives you two advantages.

Pay less than everyone else. We like to reward people who are eager to boost their credentials and are ready to commit to getting the education they need. So we’re offering a discount of up to 33% off the general price when you sign up for the presale list.

Sign up 24 hours before the general public and increase your chances of getting a spot. We only open the certification program twice per year. Due to high demand, spots in the program are limited and have historically sold out in a matter of hours. But when you sign up for the presale list, we’ll give you the opportunity to register a full 24 hours before anyone else.

If you’re ready for a deeper understanding of nutrition, the authority to coach it, and the ability to turn what you know into results… this is your chance to see what the world’s top professional nutrition coaching system can do for you.

The post Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body. appeared first on Precision Nutrition.

Better than swimsuit season: Discover relentless motivation for transforming your body. published first on