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teojira · 6 months ago

Note

I saw that you had transformers on your fandom list, will you be willing to write a 'bot of choice x human reader jealousy/protectiveness fic? Like in that one scene from Transformers 2 where the Deception Pretender tried to seduce Sam but Bee absolutely wasn't having that but had to stay in car mode?

[Aren't you supposed to be more mature than this?]

Summary: Optimus knows better than to get attached to you (too late), he can't help but side eye you and a stranger interacting. (Based on Knightverse Optimus, after ROTB!)

Word count: 800+ words!

Pronouns: They/them

Warnings: Optimus is bad at feelings, Optimus being down bad, extremely self indulgent. Mainly Optimus' Pov as well! Lmk if I need to tag anything!

A/N: Everyone who knows me knows of my obsession and love for this man it's so bad, I have him tattooed and have a whole ass shrine I love HIMMM, Thank you sm for the request! He is the love of my life.

Optimus Prime has been called many things, many of which are true, things he'd accept with pride.

A great leader, a good friend, a valuable teammate, A war criminal.

A jealous bot was never one of them, until recently.

He wasn't sure when he started to take a shine towards you. Was it after Unicron? When he held you in his servos, cradling you to his chest as he transformed back into his bipedal form, only letting go of you after the confused looks from Bee and Mirage.

Maybe it was a while after that, when you offered to help clean him up, Noah was too busy rebuilding Mirage to offer his services to the big man himself.

Optimus could never wipe the feeling of your small hands gently running across his frame, taking extra care to mend any scratches you found, constantly checking in to make sure he was comfortable.

He's ashamed to admit, but he kept shuddering under your touch, his senses overwhelmed by your presence. Every time his cooling fans turned on, he'd wave it off as it was just hot outside. (it's 60 degrees out, liar.)

He tries to recharge that night, but the feeling in his chassis makes him restless. He can see his sensors go haywire at the mere thought of you. He is so fucked, he shuts his eyes and groans deeply, his mask shooting up to mask the sound, lest he wakes the others.

Primus help him.

With his new revelation, Optimus tries his best to distance himself towards you, always making excuses as to why he can't drive you home or to work (a flicker of jealously when Arcee offers, no one catches his digits curling ever so slightly into his palm), saying he must go on patrol for the time being. He waves you off when you try and care for him, asking if he'd like any help with any scrapes and dents, saying he can live with them, he's been through worse.

Its only natural that you'd give him some space, that's the kind of person you are, kind, loving, respectful, loyal to a fault, but it doesn't escape his notice when your smile falls after he politely tells you you're not needed, his spark aching when you turn around to go find another bot.

Optimus watches you now, stationed on the street.

He has no right to be upset when you're stopped outside of the garage by an older man, the man so clearly taking interest in you while you're very politely listening and nodding, shooting that oh so pretty smile to a man who he's sure is not fit to be anywhere near you, not worthy of the warm smile you wear.

It makes him seethe in jealousy, and it's scary.

He can not remember a time when he had ever been jealous. He's a prime. He was supposed to be a calm and collected leader and yet. And yet, he's so close to blowing his hor-

You suddenly whirl towards him. If he was any better of a man, he wouldn't immediately think of how cute you looked, how your lips moved as you let out a yelp.

It isn't until that thought passes his mind that he realizes he used his truckers horn. Embarrassment trickles through his body, although now he has your attention, and you are making your way towards him. The man following behind you keeps the conversation going, not catching a hint.

Optimus is ready to honk again, especially if this man keeps following so close behind you, way too close for comfort.

You beat him to it, turning around as you rest a hand on Optimus’ cabins door handle, shooting the man a polite smile.

“Sorry about that, but my husband is actually here to pick me up, so I have to go. Have a good day!” And You hoist yourself up, quickly buckling your seat belt, gently patting the dashboard in hopes Optimus fucking drives before you're bothered anymore.

Optimus’ processor buffers, his engine revving as he goes on autopilot to tale you both away. Does he know where to drive to? Certainly no, but you're with him now. He's sure you could ask him to take you to distant planets, and he'd make it work for you and only you.

“Thank you for the save, big guy.” You smile brightly at his steering wheel, your eyes lovingly trailing across the autobot symbol that sits in the center.

“It was nothing, I am glad to be there to assist.” The cabin rumbles with his voice, soothing your anxiety. You curl into your seat, resting your head.

“Where are we going?”

“If I'm not mistaken, you mentioned wanting to go to upstate New York to drive along some scenic routes? I'll gladly be your escort.”

He is so ridiculously falling for you, but he can't bring himself to hate it, especially when you excitedly hop in your seat.

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴏɴ!

#can you tell im up his ass #Optimus is one of my top 5 characters ever i am married to him actually #transformers x reader #optimus prime x reader #gender neutral reader #teddy loves bots ☆#optimus prime #transformers knightverse #tf knightverse #Optimus x reader

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starryeyedjanai · 1 year ago

Text

bad boys do it better

rated: teen | @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: modern au tags: dating apps, innuendo, bad flirting read on ao3

✿

Eddie finally opens Tinder after downloading it in a fit of desperation.

He's tried everything but these stupid apps—bars and clubs and pottery classes and rock climbing—trying to find someone he can connect with.

But he's mostly found guys that string him along with whispered sweet nothings and half-promises they don't intend to follow through on.

So he makes his profile and then promptly fumbles and drops his phone because— no fucking way.

There's no way this is real life.

There's no fucking way the first guy to pop up is Steve fucking Harrington, his unfortunate and longest lasting crush in high school.

He picks up his phone and sees Steve's face staring back at him, unassuming, a bright, cheery smile on his face.

Steve, 28 2 miles away "Hope you like bad boys because I have it on dvd and vhs" Interests: baseball, basketball, live music, movies

He taps to get to the next photo and lets out a shaky breath—the shorts of what can only be his Halloween costume are so short, exposing hairy thighs that Eddie wants to sink his teeth into.

The next photo is a snapchat picture of him grinning wide, cradling what might be the world's ugliest dog, the text across the screen reading my nephew is so handsome 🤩🤩🤩.

The last is an obligatory shirtless mirror pic, not showing off washboard abs, but the soft, toned skin of his stomach.

He closes the app, sets his phone down, and breathes through his nose.

This can't be real, right? In what world would Steve be the first person in a sea of profiles in San Francisco of all places?

Eddie expected him to chase after Nancy Wheeler when she went to Boston, but he didn't stick around long enough in Hawkins to find out if they ever rekindled their will-they-won't-they relationship.

Maybe he's just visiting. Maybe he found his match and just forgot to delete Tinder. Because there's just no way Eddie has this kind of luck.

He opens up Instagram and searches for Steve and finds him right away because they're probably still Facebook friends.

He scrolls through his profile and deflates a little, because all of the pictures on Tinder are from his Instagram. Which means it's probably much more likely that someone is catfishing using Steve's pictures.

Because the Steve from high school wasn't into men. And he's hot enough for someone to use his pictures to scam people or whatever.

He opens up Tinder again and his thumb is swiping right before he thinks about what he's doing.

It's a match!

Okay, now he knows it's a catfish. Or maybe it's a bot.

There's no world in which Steve Harrington would swipe right on him in the twenty minutes it's been since he created his account.

He types a message to "Steve" saying so are you a bot or just a catfish?

He doesn't get a response right away, so he clicks out of the messages, looking at profiles of what are hopefully actual people he can connect with.

His phone buzzes when the message from Steve comes in.

Hi3 Eddiems, cl!ck th3 linkin my proffile to . achat I am waitin9

He rolls his eyes and goes back to perusing profiles. It's not like he thought it was really Ste-

His phone pings with another message and he clicks back into the chat immediately.

That was a joke. There's not even a link in my profile

Eddie's heart beats a little faster, his fingers typing out a response.

So a catfish then?

Why do you think I'm a catfish?????

Because I know the guy in those pictures and there's no way hes into men. That guy was a jock extraordinaire in high school and very straight

You're awfully judgey for someone who was so anti-conformity in high school. Whos to say I haven't changed?

Or like, learned new things about myself?

Eddie's breath stutters in his throat.

Also you didn't really know me since we never talked.

Okay, I mean. It's pretty easy to guess that I was counterculture in high school by looking at me. So I'm still on the fence about the catfish thing

How about we meet up then? So you can see me in all my nearing-30 glory

And watch bad boys on dvd and vhs with you?

Dude, I am not inviting you to my house on the first date

That's a third date kind of thing

Oh yeah? Is it a back-to-back feature? We start with the vhs then move to dvd?

He can't believe he's entertaining this. A catfish wouldn't offer to meet up unless they thought Eddie wouldn't call their bluff. He kind of wants to see where this is going.

No see, we start with the dvd playing in the living room and then when we inevitably start being bad boys🥵 in the middle of the movie, we can pick it back up on vhs in my room later

To be clear, we stop the movie, right? I'm not sure bad boys has a soundtrack meant for the kind of activities we'd be doing

Oh for sure. I'd even put on my "let's get it on" playlist. As a treat.

Eddie can't help but grin. Even if this guy is a catfish, this is maybe the most fun he's had talking to someone in a long time.

Are you serious about meeting up?

Uh yeah, I can't have you thinking I'm a catfish forever

What's your favorite brewery?

Cellarmaker

Wanna do tomorrow afternoon at like 2 when it's not busy?

That sounds perfect

He isn't sure if it's really Steve or if he's going to be met with someone else or stood up, but at least he'll get to drown his sorrows if it doesn't work out.

Well—he's unsure until he gets the 'stharrington started following you' notification on Instagram a few minutes later.

He screams into his pillow so loud his neighbor thumps on the wall.

#steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie drabble #steddie ficlet #steddieholidaydrabbles #st ficlet #janai.doc

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quixotical-lymbo · 2 months ago

Note

I saw that your requests were open and rushed over here as quick as I could!

I would LOVE to see more D-16 and Orion Pax, maybe a poly relationship of how they would act as a dynamic. Reader would be whatever you'd like for them to be and a miner as well, maybe they are the balance for the two to keep them in check? Can be fluff or angst, I'm not picky!

Im so excited to see what you do! Keep up the amazing work!

Pairing: D-16 x Orion Pax x mech!Reader Rating: SFW-ish Summary: When a balanced duo meets a like-minded bot like them, how will this shake the dynamic between the newly formed trio? Warnings/Tags: Pre-canon, does this count as spoilers?, angst, fluff, romantic gesture(s), oil baths, secret relationship(s), Elita-1 cameo, Orion gives you a nickname, reader is an archivist (lmao WAS an archivist). Word Count: 1600+ words

How did you three meet?

It was a normal day sorting through the records and making sure everything was in its proper place. You adjusted your spectacles before moving the box from your hip into two servos. The corridor you were walking in was long, empty, and cold. Not a single spark in sight and you preferred it that way.

As you pressed a button, the doors to a room slid open and you carried the box inside. Whistling a small tune, you placed the box on a table and paused when something clicked.

Looking over your shoulder, you found two pairs of optics staring at you. One as blue as the sky, the other as bright as the sun.

"....hey?"

"AAAAAAHHHHHH-MFPH!"

First Impressions:

D-16

🟡 Thought you were rather skittish and weird, especially after you almost got them both in trouble had it not been for Orion shushing you with his servo.

🟡 Thankfully, you were rather understanding, a bit naive, but understanding of their innocent intentions.

Orion Pax

🔵 You seemed like a nice mech.

🔵 A really nice mech when you didn't rat him and his buddy out to the guards when they approached the room to investigate the scream from earlier.

🔵 Your derpy spectacles and timid mannerism (he caught onto your nervous tics) made him believe you were one of those uptight bookworms. Not the bad kind or snobbish, but not a social type of bot.

🔵 He was proved wrong twice when you had the opportunity to turn them in, but choose not to after hearing the purpose of their 'visit.'

Shared interests:

Oh boy, who knew you were a fan of Megatronus? Orion had a 'pleasant' time hearing D-16 and their new acquaintance ramble on about how cool and awesome the Prime was.

When the conversation (more like fangirling) about Megatronus turned on Orion, the aforementioned mech spoke about the matrix and his goal in helping seek the location of it.

Cue flapping servos and a squeal that was shushed by D-16's servo over your intake.

Not only were you interested in learning about the Primes, mainly Megatronus, but you also were interested in finding the lost lore of the Matrix and any information you could get your servos on.

A friendship blossomed on that day and the three of you agreed to meet up at a bar or park whenever all of you had the time to do so.

Overall dynamic a friends:

You fit in pretty well with the duo.

Your eagerness to learn more despite the consequences and sometimes good judgment was a nice balance to D-16 sticking to protocol and Orion Pax's exasperating ideas.

Although your time spent with the two wasn't a lot compared to them working together in the mines, it didn't stop the bond from strengthening between you three.

You were D-16's backup whenever Orion had a ridiculous plan that could lead him getting demoted severely.

You were Orion's hype mech and source of information whenever the two of you felt like you had a lead in your goals.

You tend to call the red and blue mech Pax, even after being assured that you can call him Orion. After a while, Orion didn't mind the way you said his name, it felt…nice, like a 'special' thing between himself and you.

Overall, I'd say the three of you were great friends.

Until….

You picked up your pace and rubbed the glass of your spectacles from the smudge that happened to get on it. It was your off day and you wanted to spend as much of it with your friends as possible, especially when you had exciting news to share with them.

You nearly bumped into a few bots, apologizing to them anyway, as you maneuvered around the busy streets of Iacon. It did not take long for you to arrive at the mines. You skidded to a halt when you spotted a pink femme chatting with a few other bots.

You approached and before you could raise a digit to gain her attention she had long since spotted you.

Elita-1 rolled an optic and jabbed a digit in one direction, then you were off--scurrying towards the showers to find your friends.

"D? Pax?" You called as you stepped into the communal showers. The showers, which you've seen in some blueprints, were a shared space with only one or two baths built in.

Mutterings echoed off the tiled area that appeared vacant. If it wasn't for the sound of oil, you would've assumed so. You rose a ridge before continuing to walk deeper into the area, only to stop when the murmurs grew clearer.

"...Orion, we're going to be late…"

"C'mon, a little fun isn't going to make us late."

When you heard your designation spill from D-16's intake and more reassurance from Orion, you quickened your pace and rounded the corner to find a…well…sight to behold.

Orion was partially submerged in the bath with D-16 straddling him. Their gazes were filled with a passion you never saw whenever the three of you were hanging out. For some reason, a pang seized your spark and you took a step back but bumped into the wall.

The noise caused Orion and D to separate.

"___?!"

Energon shot to your faceplate added with the heat of the bath fogging up your spectacles caused you to stutter out a 'quick' sorry while attempting to escape. Oil splashed around as D-16 moved to the other end of the bath to cover his flushed face and Orion ran out of the bath to catch up…or rather, catch you.

Running in a slippery area was not a good idea.

You crashed onto the floor and shrieked when your ankles were snatched and you were pulled back toward the bath. Clawing at the floor, your futile attempts at breaking free caused Orion to drop your ankles and walk around to your front to grab both sides of your helm. D-16 watched as he leaned against the edge of the bath.

"____."

"Yes?" You squawked.

Orion smashed his dermas against yours. You felt weak and nearly melted into the kiss had it not been for the 'd'aww' coming from your other friend. You found the strength to withdraw from Orion and scoot back until you were a reasonable distance from both.

"What..why…huh??" You pointed to the two of them, you and Orion, and then to your dermas.

"We've…been meaning to tell you," D-16 started.

"Just hadn't found the right moment, but now that you know…we can finally tell you how much we like you!"

"...classy."

"Whaaat? ___ deserves to know about us and how we feel about them! All these secrets just felt..wrong, anyway-" Orion turned to look at you with a wide smile. "Whaddya say, starlight? You in?"

"Call a medic cause I'm about to have a spark attack."

Cue them panicking along with you.

And that's how you managed to become more than friends with your…well, friends.

First date?��

A bar :)

Twas a fun time walking the two of them back to your home when they were drunk off of their processors

In the morning, you all comforted each other with the hangover pains

First kiss?

Orion already stole your first official kiss.

You and D's first kiss happened on the second date when you managed to 'borrow' some merch of his favorite Prime at a invite-only Iacon event. D legit swept you off your peds and kissed you hard enough you felt like you were seeing stars.

Demotion…

Yeah…courting a mech who's becoming notorious for sneaking into archives to look at restricted and sensitive data did not go over well with your higher ups.

You were demoted to a lower title that stripped you off your access to most records.

To say you were devastated was an understatement.

You couldn't even look at Orion in the optics for a while.

Arguments

This incident definitely caused a few disagreements in your relationship

First, D stopping Orion from visiting you too much so that you could have the space you needed

You felt like scrap for the boiling resentment you were feeling toward yourself, the relationship, and with Orion.

It all boiled over when Orion disregarded D's warning to stay away and managed to catch you during your working shift.

And…it didn't end nicely.

Names were called, not-so-good things were brought up, and you even called Orion a fragging screw up.

Making up

After the big fight and 'cold war' that was going on between you three, mainly you and D-16 vs Orion. Things…settled down when all of you sat down to talk about it for once.

Starting the conversation wasn't the easy part, discussion and apologizing was, especially when you and Orion were 'fighting' over how sorry you two were. D-16 had to shut the two of you up by holding you two idiots close in a hug.

Lots of servo-holding and cuddles happened that day :3

Overall dynamic as a polycule:

Healthy when communication isn't disrupted.

It's easy to play mediator if something does arise between two of you, but when all three of you are angry at each other? Eh, let's say there is a rule in the relationship to never bottle up your emotions for too long and communicate if you're upset about anything.

Jealousy….ohhhh, it doesn't happen often, but when someone gets a little too close Orion and D are on you like a starved bot on a pile of energon cubes.

Your relationship is discrete, only a few bots (including your higher ups) know of the true nature of your relationship with D-16 and Orion Pax.

Overall, it's a beautiful relationship....hopefully nothing bad will happen in the future wink wink.

😼 - I do not give permission for anyone to translate, copy, republish, or plagiarize any of my written works. I provide no permission for any of my literary works to be used in artificial intelligence. banner(s) by @dollywons !!

#spectacles are glasses if that wasn't clear #transformers one spoilers #pre canon #megaop #orion pax x reader #d 16 x reader #polyamory #slight angst #fluff #headcanons #dating headcanons #x reader #listening to 'when he sees me' while writing this lol #quixotical answers #thanks for requesting

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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 months ago

Text

Dirty words are politically potent

On OCTOBER 23 at 7PM, I'll be in DECATUR, presenting my novel THE BEZZLE at EAGLE EYE BOOKS.

Making up words is a perfectly cromulent passtime, and while most of the words we coin disappear as soon as they fall from our lips, every now and again, you find a word that fits so nice and kentucky in the public discourse that it acquires a life of its own:

http://meaningofliff.free.fr/definition.php3?word=Kentucky

I've been trying to increase the salience of digital human rights in the public imagination for a quarter of a century, starting with the campaign to get people to appreciate that the internet matters, and that tech policy isn't just the delusion that the governance of spaces where sad nerds argue about Star Trek is somehow relevant to human thriving:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2010/10/04/small-change-malcolm-gladwell

Now, eventually people figured out that a) the internet mattered and, b) it was going dreadfully wrong. So my job changed again, from "how the internet is governed matters" to "you can't fix the internet with wishful thinking," for example, when people said we could solve its problems by banning general purpose computers:

https://memex.craphound.com/2012/01/10/lockdown-the-coming-war-on-general-purpose-computing/

Or by banning working cryptography:

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/09/04/oh-for-fucks-sake-not-this-fucking-bullshit-again-cryptography-edition/

Or by redesigning web browsers to treat their owners as threats:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2017/09/open-letter-w3c-director-ceo-team-and-membership

Or by using bots to filter every public utterance to ensure that they don't infringe copyright:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/09/today-europe-lost-internet-now-we-fight-back

Or by forcing platforms to surveil and police their users' speech (aka "getting rid of Section 230"):

https://www.techdirt.com/2020/06/23/hello-youve-been-referred-here-because-youre-wrong-about-section-230-communications-decency-act/

Along the way, many of us have coined words in a bid to encapsulate the abstract, technical ideas at the core of these arguments. This isn't a vanity project! Creating a common vocabulary is a necessary precondition for having the substantive, vital debates we'll need to tackle the real, thorny issues raised by digital systems. So there's "free software," "open source," "filternet," "chat control," "back doors," and my own contributions, like "adversarial interoperability":

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/adversarial-interoperability

Or "Competitive Compatibility" ("comcom"), a less-intimidatingly technical term for the same thing:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/12/competitive-compatibility-year-review

These have all found their own niches, but nearly all of them are just that: niche. Some don't even rise to "niche": they're shibboleths, insider terms that confuse and intimidate normies and distract from the real fights with semantic ones, like whether it's "FOSS" or "FLOSS" or something else entirely:

https://opensource.stackexchange.com/questions/262/what-is-the-difference-between-foss-and-floss

But every now and again, you get a word that just kills. That brings me to "enshittification," a word I coined in 2022:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/28/enshittification/#relentless-payola

"Enshittification" took root in my hindbrain, rolling around and around, agglomerating lots of different thoughts and critiques I'd been making for years, crystallizing them into a coherent thesis:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

This kind of spontaneous crystallization is the dividend of doing lots of work in public, trying to take every half-formed thought and pin it down in public writing, something I've been doing for decades:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

After those first couple articles, "enshittification" raced around the internet. There's two reasons for this: first, "enshittification" is a naughty word that's fun to say. Journalists love getting to put "shit" in their copy:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/15/crosswords/linguistics-word-of-the-year.html

Radio journalists love to tweak the FCC with cheekily bleeped syllables in slightly dirty compound words:

https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/otm/projects/enshitification

And nothing enlivens an academic's day like getting to use a word like "enshittification" in a journal article (doubtless this also amuses the editors, peer-reviewers, copyeditors, typesetters, etc):

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=enshittification&btnG=&oq=ensh

That was where I started, too! The first time I used "enshittification" was in a throwaway bad-tempered rant about the decay of Tripadvisor into utter uselessness, which drew a small chorus of appreciative chuckles about the word:

https://twitter.com/doctorow/status/1550457808222552065

The word rattled around my mind for five months before attaching itself to my detailed theory of platform decay. But it was that detailed critique, coupled with a minor license to swear, that gave "enshittification" a life of its own. How do I know that the theory was as important as the swearing? Because the small wave of amusement that followed my first use of "enshittification" petered out in less than a day. It was only when I added the theory that the word took hold.

Likewise: how do I know that the theory needed to be blended with swearing to break out of the esoteric realm of tech policy debates (which the public had roundly ignored for more than two decades)? Well, because I spent two decades writing about this stuff without making anything like the dents that appeared once I added an Anglo-Saxon monosyllable to that critique.

Adding "enshittification" to the critique got me more column inches, a longer hearing, a more vibrant debate, than anything else I'd tried. First, Wired availed itself of the Creative Commons license on my second long-form article on the subject and reprinted it as a 4,200-word feature. I've been writing for Wired for more than thirty years and this is by far the longest thing I've published with them – a big, roomy, discursive piece that was run verbatim, with every one of my cherished darlings unmurdered.

That gave the word – and the whole critique, with all its spiky corners – a global airing, leading to more pickup and discussion. Eventually, the American Dialect Society named it their "Word of the Year" (and their "Tech Word of the Year"):

https://americandialect.org/2023-word-of-the-year-is-enshittification/

"Enshittification" turns out to be catnip for language nerds:

https://becauselanguage.com/90-enpoopification/#transcript-60

I've been dragged into (good natured) fights over the German, Spanish, French and Italian translations for the term. When I taped an NPR show before a live audience with ASL interpretation, I got to watch a Deaf fan politely inform the interpreter that she didn't need to finger-spell "enshittification," because it had already been given an ASL sign by the US Deaf community:

https://maximumfun.org/episodes/go-fact-yourself/ep-158-aida-rodriguez-cory-doctorow/

I gave a speech about enshittification in Berlin and published the transcript:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle/#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel

Which prompted the rock-ribbed Financial Times to get in touch with me and publish the speech – again, nearly verbatim – as a whopping 6,400 word feature in their weekend magazine:

https://www.ft.com/content/6fb1602d-a08b-4a8c-bac0-047b7d64aba5

Though they could have had it for free (just as Wired had), they insisted on paying me (very well, as it happens!), as did De Zeit:

https://www.zeit.de/digital/internet/2024-03/plattformen-facebook-google-internet-cory-doctorow

This was the start of the rise of enshittification. The word is spreading farther than ever, in ways that I have nothing to do with, along with the critique I hung on it. In other words, the bit of string that tech policy wonks have been pushing on for a quarter of a century is actually starting to move, and it's actually accelerating.

Despite this (or more likely because of it), there's a growing chorus of "concerned" people who say they like the critique but fret that it is being held back because you can't use it "at church or when talking to K-12 students" (my favorite variant: "I couldn't say this at a NATO conference"). I leave it up to you whether you use the word with your K-12 students, NATO generals, or fellow parishoners (though I assure you that all three groups are conversant with the dirty little word at the root of my coinage). If you don't want to use "enshittification," you can coin your own word – or just use one of the dozens of words that failed to gain public attention over the past 25 years (might I suggest "platform decay?").

What's so funny about all this pearl-clutching is that it comes from people who universally profess to have the intestinal fortitude to hear the word "enshittification" without experiencing psychological trauma, but worry that other people might not be so strong-minded. They continue to say this even as the most conservative officials in the most staid of exalted forums use the word without a hint of embarrassment, much less apology:

https://www.independent.ie/business/technology/chairman-of-irish-social-media-regulator-says-europe-should-not-be-seduced-by-mario-draghis-claims/a526530600.html

I mean, I'm giving a speech on enshittification next month at a conference where I'm opening for the Secretary General of the United Nations:

https://icanewdelhi2024.coop/welcome/pages/Programme

After spending half my life trying to get stuff like this into the discourse, I've developed some hard-won, informed views on how ideas succeed:

First: the minor obscenity is a feature, not a bug. The marriage of something long and serious to something short and funny is a happy one that makes both the word and the ideas better off than they'd be on their own. As Lenny Bruce wrote in his canonical work in the subject, the aptly named How to Talk Dirty and Influence People:

I want to help you if you have a dirty-word problem. There are none, and I'll spell it out logically to you.

Here is a toilet. Specifically-that's all we're concerned with, specifics-if I can tell you a dirty toilet joke, we must have a dirty toilet. That's what we're all talking about, a toilet. If we take this toilet and boil it and it's clean, I can never tell you specifically a dirty toilet joke about this toilet. I can tell you a dirty toilet joke in the Milner Hotel, or something like that, but this toilet is a clean toilet now. Obscenity is a human manifestation. This toilet has no central nervous system, no level of consciousness. It is not aware; it is a dumb toilet; it cannot be obscene; it's impossible. If it could be obscene, it could be cranky, it could be a Communist toilet, a traitorous toilet. It can do none of these things. This is a dirty toilet here.

Nobody can offend you by telling a dirty toilet story. They can offend you because it's trite; you've heard it many, many times.

https://www.dacapopress.com/titles/lenny-bruce/how-to-talk-dirty-and-influence-people/9780306825309/

Second: the fact that a neologism is sometimes decoupled from its theoretical underpinnings and is used colloquially is a feature, not a bug. Many people apply the term "enshittification" very loosely indeed, to mean "something that is bad," without bothering to learn – or apply – the theoretical framework. This is good. This is what it means for a term to enter the lexicon: it takes on a life of its own. If 10,000,000 people use "enshittification" loosely and inspire 10% of their number to look up the longer, more theoretical work I've done on it, that is one million normies who have been sucked into a discourse that used to live exclusively in the world of the most wonkish and obscure practitioners. The only way to maintain a precise, theoretically grounded use of a term is to confine its usage to a small group of largely irrelevant insiders. Policing the use of "enshittification" is worse than a self-limiting move – it would be a self-inflicted wound. As I said in that Berlin speech:

Enshittification names the problem and proposes a solution. It's not just a way to say 'things are getting worse' (though of course, it's fine with me if you want to use it that way. It's an English word. We don't have der Rat für englische Rechtschreibung. English is a free for all. Go nuts, meine Kerle).

Finally: "coinage" is both more – and less – than thinking of the word. After the American Dialect Society gave honors to "enshittification," a few people slid into my mentions with citations to "enshittification" that preceded my usage. I find this completely unsurprising, because English is such a slippery and playful tongue, because English speakers love to swear, and because infixing is such a fun way to swear (e.g. "unfuckingbelievable"). But of course, I hadn't encountered any of those other usages before I came up with the word independently, nor had any of those other usages spread appreciably beyond the speaker (it appears that each of the handful of predecessors to my usage represents an act of independent coinage).

If "coinage" was just a matter of thinking up the word, you could write a small python script that infixed the word "shit" into every syllable of every word in the OED, publish the resulting text file, and declare priority over all subsequent inventive swearers.

On the one hand, coinage takes place when the coiner a) independently invents a word; and b) creates the context for that word that causes it to escape from the coiner's immediate milieu and into the wider world.

But on the other hand – and far more importantly – the fact that a successful coinage requires popular uptake by people unknown to the coiner means that the coiner only ever plays a small role in the coinage. Yes, there would be no popularization without the coinage – but there would also be no coinage without the popularization. Words belong to groups of speakers, not individuals. Language is a cultural phenomenon, not an individual one.

Which is rather the point, isn't it? After a quarter of a century of being part of a community that fought tirelessly to get a serious and widespread consideration of tech policy underway, we're closer than ever, thanks, in part, to "enshittification." If someone else independently used that word before me, if some people use the word loosely, if the word makes some people uncomfortable, that's fine, provided that the word is doing what I want it to do, what I've devoted my life to doing.

The point of coining words isn't the pilkunnussija's obsession with precise usage, nor the petty glory of being known as a coiner, nor ensuring that NATO generals' virgin ears are protected from the word "shit" – a word that, incidentally, is also the root of "science":

https://www.arrantpedantry.com/2019/01/24/science-and-shit/

Isn't language fun?

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/14/pearl-clutching/#this-toilet-has-no-central-nervous-system

#pluralistic #language #enshittification #obscenity #linguistics #pearl-clutching #lenny bruce

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requiemsystem · 11 months ago

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ADVICE FOR NEWLY DISCOVERED OR SUSPECTED SYSTEMS

if you suspect you may be a system or have recently discovered that youre a system, things can be confusing and hard. im making this post as someone who has been aware of being a system for about 5 years and has been diagnosed for 2. these are things i wish we knew and did. i hope it will be helpful to some of you and i wish you luck on discovering things about yourself and your system keep in mind everyone is different and systems are no exception, so what i list here might be incredibly beneficial for one person but do nothing for another. find what works for you. i will try to provide a variety of advice in order for you to see what fits you best DO YOUR RESEARCH research the disorder, try to find others experiences and things you think would help you. this is especially helpful if you are suspecting and not yet sure if you have it, researching symptoms and others experiences can be very helpful in determining START SYMPTOM LOGGING this can be as simple as "i blacked out today" or "i dont feel like myself right now", you dont have to be identifying switches or putting names to alters, theres no rush to be able to do that and some systems have no desire to do that symptom logging is useful because it can help you identify potential triggers and patterns in your symptoms. for example, if you can remember what happened before a period of amnesia and remember being exposed to a stressful event or something potentially triggering, this would be worth writing down to see if its a recurring pattern REACH OUT TO OTHER ALTERS this can be done in a variety of ways, but the easiest way would be to leave a note in a place itll be seen. for example, a sticky note on a mirror (if you live with other people and cant do this, try leaving a note on your phone in a frequently checked app) i would advise saying something along the lines of "hello, i am (name) and i would like to communicate with you. i suspect we have a disorder called (DID/OSDD) and we share the same body and mind. please write back to me in (location, can be a notebook or app etc) and tell me some about yourself if you feel comfortable" but you can say whatever works for you. i just think the main points to cover are having DID/OSDD and introducing yourself as well as asking for an introduction in return START WORKING ON COMMUNICATION this takes a lot of practice, so i always say its better to build up early rather than late. we have a whole post on it that can be found here REMINDERS AND THINGS TO REMEMBER if you do not remember your trauma, do not dig for it. it isnt safe to try to remember trauma without professionals help. if you happen to remember, thats one thing, but dont intentionally seek out triggers to try to remember denial is common and not a sign of faking, if you were faking you would know and would not be in denial. being wrong about having DID/OSDD (if you are suspecting but not sure) is not the same as faking no two systems are the same. you dont have to look exactly like some other system you know or online to be real its normal to not know everything right away. you wont know all your alters immediately, you may not be able to access (and you may not have) your innerworld, you probably wont remember all of your trauma without professionals help, etc. its all normal its totally ok to keep information about your system private. there is no need to share with anyone you do not feel completely safe and comfortable with switching at any frequency is normal, there is no "correct" amount to switch. any amount of alters is normal, there is no "correct" amount of alters. any level of amnesia is normal, there is no "correct" level of amnesia apps like simply plural and bots like pluralkit can be incredibly helpful for some systems, but there is absolutely no pressure to use them if you do not feel comfortable - grey

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thankskenpenders · 11 months ago

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Sonic Prime Season 3: Final episodes, final thoughts

Well, here we are. The final seven episodes of Sonic Prime are out on Netflix, concluding the story of Sonic's adventures in the Shatterverse. I've previously shared my thoughts on the first and second seasons, which I was pretty mixed on, but there were still glimmers of hope. The fluid animation, Shadow being fun in all his appearances, Nine being fairly interesting as a jaded alternate version of Tails, etc. There was enough to make me believe that after some highs and lows there was still the possibility that this show could end on a high note - or at least a decent note.

This did not happen.

Sonic Prime's final season sucks. The ending sucks, and the road to get there sucks. It's left me wondering what the point of all this even was. There are still moments I like that I'll try to highlight, and the animators and voice cast are still clearly giving it their all, but these efforts sadly don't outweigh the overwhelming mediocrity of the story. I would barely even recommend other Sonic fans who are on the fence go out of their way to finish it. I won't begrudge people who got more out of this show than I did, but I think overall I just really, really dislike Sonic Prime.

...The problem, of course, is that all other discussion of the show has been overshadowed by needlessly hostile arguments over its place in Sonic's canon. So we've gotta talk about that, too.

(This post will contain full spoilers for Sonic Prime.)

The show's out of ideas but they've gotta stretch that shit out to hit the 23 episode mark somehow

Season 2 ended with the big twist that Nine decided to betray Sonic and Shadow, taking the Paradox Prism for himself so that he could go turn the empty world of the Grim into his own little paradise, since he doesn't believe he'll fit anywhere else. Nine has made himself the true big bad of the show.

The main impact this has is that now, instead of fighting endless identical Eggforcer bots and members of the Chaos Council over and over, the good guys and the Chaos Council have to fight endless Chaos Sonic-style robots sent by Nine while he goes "grrrrr I need Sonic's energy to stabilize the Paradox Prism." This continues for six whole episodes until the series finale, when the show decides it's time for Sonic and Nine to quickly make amends, fix everything, and send Sonic and Shadow home.

That's pretty much the whole season.

I cannot emphasize enough just how much of this final season is just fight after fight after fight against Nine's bots, and how fucking boring that gets. The season feels like one long, drawn out final battle that did not need to be nearly this long, but Nine had his big heel turn 2/3 of the way through the show and we've gotta fill up the rest of the time somehow. The novelty of the bots being based off of Sonic's friends (including the Chocobo-sized Birdie from the jungle world) really wears off quickly when they're just used as generic, silent mooks that the good guys have to fight by the dozen like it's the climax of an MCU movie. The first episode of the season with Sonic and Shadow fighting the new bots is pretty good, especially because Sonic and Shadow's dynamic is one of the few redeeming aspects of this show's writing, but after that it just gets boring. Three full episodes in a row are spent showing all the characters fighting robots in an empty wasteland while Nine scowls next to a big beam of energy. I found myself missing the in-your-face attitude of Chaos Sonic so much. He truly was one of the best parts of this show.

While the cast is busy fighting all these robots for what feels like an eternity, various things of varying levels of interest happen. There's a halfhearted attempt to have some kind of rivalry between Shadow and the main Grim Sonic throughout the final battle, but it completely falls flat because Grim Sonic has no personality whatsoever. It's like Shadow beefing with an above-average Egg Pawn. (Actually, no, that would be funny.) There's also a death fakeout with the two other versions of Tails, where they make a makeshift bomb and throw it a little too close to themselves on the battlefield and seem to get vaporized. If they had actually died there they would have had the funniest, most pointless deaths in the entire franchise.

I also realized at one point that they were trying to do the Avengers girl power fight thing with the three versions of Amy fighting a bunch of Rouge bots. This was very funny to me. Actually, so much of this is just following the tired MCU formula to the letter. Fighting over a macguffin, two armies just kind of running at each other and clashing in a big empty field, constant one-liner quips instead of actual jokes, the need to take out key targets to make the whole enemy army disappear, a villain who has a point but has to randomly hurt people so that there's an excuse for the heroes to fight him. When combined with how shit the multiverse stuff is, this whole show really is just Man of Action tackling some of the most played out storytelling tropes in modern pop culture in the most bland way possible. What a bunch of hacks.

By far, the one truly fun thing that happens in this protracted final battle is when a giant robot based on Big appears. It doesn't have arms or legs, but it can swing itself around to use its tail like a giant mace, and it can also shoot Froggy-shaped missiles out of its mouth. I wish the rest of the show was even half as fun as this. Again, Sonic Prime has just enough good moments to make you mad that the rest of the show isn't better.

The thing is, all this repetitive (but well-animated) action and the thin excuse plot would be totally serviceable if I just gave a shit about the characters involved. But I don't. I don't care what happens to the pirate version of Amy who goes "arrr." I don't care about what happens to Hipster Eggman. And unfortunately, by the end, I didn't really care about Nine, either.

Nine as a villain

It's hard to criticize the story here without it coming off as a broad condemnation of the tropes at play. The thing is, I like many stories that try to do similar things. I love clashes between heroes and villains that are really just fantastical exaggerations of more personal conflicts. I love stories where a tragic, sympathetic villain lashes out at the world as an expression of the pain they feel, and a compassionate hero just has to get through to them. I eat that shit right up. Undertale is my favorite game ever made. Shit, I love other Sonic stories that do these exact things. And Sonic having to fight an alternate timeline version of Tails also has so much potential for drama!

So I can very easily imagine a version of the show where all this works for me. That just isn't the version we got.

Like I said last time, Nine's motivation is just too sympathetic and understandable for his sudden turn to supervillainy to make any sense. He just wanted to start over somewhere where he can be happy after a childhood filled with bullying and loneliness. Nine betraying Sonic and stealing the Paradox Prism to go make his own world? That tracks! Especially since we don't even know if Nine will still exist if Sonic goes through with his plan to restore his original world! But trying to kill everyone in New Yolk City by tilting the world 90 degrees, intentionally targeting the civilian population because it'll get to Sonic? Nope! Sorry, that's a bridge too far. I don't buy it. He's jaded and antisocial, but he doesn't strike me as cruel. Writing in an excuse about him needing Sonic's energy to fix the Prism does not make this make more sense.

This was really just one of those conflicts where it felt like everyone should stop and talk it out. Instead we got six episodes of fighting before one of Sonic's many, MANY attempts at reasoning with Nine throughout the season finally works. This isn't me pulling some Cinema Sins bullshit where I complain about characters in a work of fiction not always behaving rationally - the real problem is that it's just so damn repetitive waiting for this conflict to resolve. This could have been wrapped up in two or three episodes and instead it takes seven.

A brief aside about that weird Dorkly-ass Sonic Advance 3 flashback scene hacked together with mismatched sprites where Gemerl happens to be present, presumably just because he's a part of the sprite for the Sunset Hill boss, and seeing him briefly makes me remember the extended cast from the games and how much I wish they had just made a cartoon about them instead of a bunch of stock characters wearing the skin of Sonic's friends, but then Gemerl just explodes with the boss machine at the end while Eggman is shown to get away so I guess Gemerl just dies in this flashback

Yeah that sure happened huh

The ending

Despite having a final battle that felt like an eternity, Sonic Prime is a show that just kind of... ends. And that ending is weird and haphazard.

The understanding I had was that Sonic's normal world had "shattered" when the Paradox Prism was destroyed, and from those remnants these new worlds were created. This is why they use terms like "Shatterverse" and "Shatterspaces" and why there's shattered glass/crystal/whatever imagery everywhere. This is a broken, fragmented version of the real universe. Right? Right?? Isn't that the entire premise of the show? And therefore, if the universe has been shattered, then fixing it means putting all the shattered pieces back together. Which I would assume means that the Shatterspaces cease to exist.

So, in the ending... Sonic's world seems to just exist as another Shatterspace. Restoring the Paradox Prism doesn't seem to combine the worlds or anything, it just fixes the broken portal to Sonic's world that exists alongside all the others. So... what exactly was the point of all the shattered glass symbolism?

Things only get more confusing as the ending progresses. Shadow brings Sonic through the portal before the draining of Sonic's whatever energy makes him disappear, and they're transported back in time to right before Sonic broke the Paradox Prism. Only Sonic seems to remember what happened (Shadow might remember, but he doesn't say anything), and with the Paradox Prism never shattered, it's unclear if the Shatterspaces exist now.

I'm not particularly hung up on the time loop ending. It's very much in line with all sorts of classic morality tales like A Christmas Carol or It's a Wonderful Life, where the flawed protagonist goes through some kind of magical experience and then returns home with a new appreciation for the people in their life. It's always been pretty obvious that was the type of story they were telling. I'm more bothered by the fact that there's no time whatsoever spent on whether or not the other worlds and the characters in them continue to exist. Sonic seems to act like the worlds will go on without him before he leaves, but it's not like we get an ending scene that shows how the other worlds are doing, so they really truly might as well not exist anymore. Sonic just wraps up the adventure from the first episode when he gets home, and before he can explain what happened from his perspective he's interrupted by a mysterious energy wave from off-screen and it's off to the next adventure.

(Despite this odd cliffhanger ending, the show is extremely over and not coming back. I have to imagine this is just a "the adventures never end" type ending and not a hint that more shit is going on with the Paradox Prism.)

This ending is also a terrible resolution to Nine's whole arc, despite him being the driving force of so much of the show. The way I see it, there are are three possible fates for him:

The Shatterspaces continue existing, and things go as Sonic expects them to go. Nine is allowed to make the Grim into his own little utopia, and everyone else leaves him alone instead of punishing him for all the trouble he caused. Instead of finding love and acceptance so he can heal from a lifetime of bullying and loneliness, Nine is allowed to run away, isolating himself from every other living being in the multiverse, and live alone as the god of an empty world with only his own creations as company. Sonic was his only friend, and he's gone forever now.

The Shatterspaces continue existing, but because of the time travel ending, most of the events of the show never happened. Sonic never helped defeat the Chaos Council, so they still control New Yolk City. Nine is back to living in this dystopian city with no friends. He never met Sonic.

The Shatterspaces have been erased. After fighting so hard for his right to exist as his own person and not just a "wrong" version of Tails, when the timeline is altered, he just... stops existing. Along with almost every other character in the show.

Do I even need to explain why these are all unsatisfying?

Misc. thoughts

I skimmed over this, but a lot of the final season is just spent seeing Sonic's friends bicker with the Chaos Council and then Sonic has to beg them to get along to save the universe. It gets old.

We also never really got an explanation for why the Chaos Council exists. They can't have come from other Shatterspaces because there ARE no other Shatterspaces. If the original Eggman was just split into five guys or time travel was involved or whatever, it never comes up. I can live with this, but it seems like an odd omission for a children's show that's constantly bogged down in technobabble explaining the mechanics of its extremely small and finite multiverse.

I have no idea where Shadow was for the first part of the final battle. I figured Nine must have captured him off-screen after Sonic first left the Grim, but Shadow was just... hanging around until his cue in the script, I guess?

Sonic saying "help a brother up" to Shadow was funny

Hipster Eggman pointing to one of the few nameless extras who tagged along for the final battle and going "Who are you? Seriously, does anyone know who this is?" was the only funny thing he did in the entire show

Mangy Tails randomly pressing buttons on the Chaos Council's generator like a curious animal and managing to improve its output was cute

Rusty Rose randomly realizes that the Birdie in her chest actually isn't being used as a power source, and that the Chaos Council was just... using that to manipulate her, somehow? I don't really know how that works but whatever

The Sonic Advance 3 flashback uses the actual boss music from the game, but they can't use the real Sunset Hill theme because they didn't wanna pay Masato Nakamura for using the Green Hill motif, I guess

To my fellow fans of bad games: did you know that Man of Action wrote the story for the bizarre Square Enix game The Quiet Man? The one where the lengthy FMV cutscenes play out with muffled audio and no subtitles because the protagonist is deaf, so you can't tell what's going on? And you had to do a New Game+ playthrough to actually hear the audio and understand what's going on? The worst-reviewed game of 2018? That one? I only learned that recently and it blew me away

So yeah, that's the end of the show. I didn't like it, and I don't think I liked the show much as a whole. I am far from alone in this sentiment, but the reasons why people dislike the show... those vary a bit.

The canon conundrum

More than anything else, it seems like most other discourse surrounding this show has been consumed by one talking point:

How can this be canon? Why is it canon?

I want to state very clearly up front that I, too, am a person who's noticed and complained about the inconsistencies with the games in Sonic Prime. Some of the characters are a bit off - or, you know, completely unrecognizable when discussing the writing of some of the AU counterparts. I think it's lame to say Sonic and friends all live in Green Hill and act like that's the entirety of their world. That sort of thing. But if Sega says it's canon to everything else? Sure. Fine. There's weirder shit in the canon.

Really, most of this can be explained away pretty easily. The show was written at a time when Sega was still figuring shit out and there were looser restrictions. Why does Sonic act a little more immature? Probably just because Prime is aiming for a slightly younger audience than the games or the IDW comics. (And also it's, y'know, written by Man of Action, who people have accused of only knowing how to write one kind of protagonist for years.) Why do Sonic and friends live in Green Hill? Because that's the most recognizable location from the games, and the game world doesn't get enough screentime to justify modeling multiple different environments, so they just focus on Green Hill. Why is this considered canon to the games? Because this is the first Sonic cartoon that outright references events from the games as things that have happened to Sonic in the past.

But announcing early on that Prime would be canon certainly let fans' imaginations wander. It was one of the few things we knew about the show before it premiered. People wondered if characters from the games and comics who had never made any appearances in Sonic cartoons might get their time in the spotlight. We wondered if it would tie into the lore or any existing storylines in interesting ways, like the IDW comics do. But above all else, we hoped that its canon status would mean that Sonic Prime would finally be the Sonic cartoon that was faithful to the source material with no catches. We've literally never seen the actual world of the games brought to life in a TV show. Sonic X came the closest, but that still took its liberties. And so hype built for this Canon Sonic Cartoon.

And then it actually came out, and after a brief intro in Green Hill based loosely on the games, it spent most of its running time focusing on things like "what if there was a version of Eggman who was a bratty teen who just wanted to play video games?" The disappointment among fans is understandable. I am disappointed. Look at how much I've bitched about this aggressively mid cartoon.

Some fans, however, came up with an elaborate theory about the series. You see, when asked about the show's place in the game timeline during a live Q&A, Ian Flynn (who only served as a consultant on Sonic Prime and did not write any of it) said this:

"I cannot answer because I know the answer, and you haven't finished watching the show yet."

A couple days later, when answering another question about Prime's place in the timeline and also about a writing discrepancy, he said this:

"As to where it fits on the timeline, I can't speak to it because that would spoil the show to a degree. So you're just gonna have to wait 'til it's done. Towards the other point, I don't know how much I can say, so it's probably better that I not comment. That's a really dissatisfying answer, I know, I'm sorry, but my hands are kinda tied on that one."

I feel the need to quote Ian directly here, because these very basic statements about how he can't talk about behind the scenes shit or anything from unreleased episodes was GREATLY misinterpreted by the fandom. People clung onto Ian's claim that we had to keep watching like a life preserver. Some took it as Ian saying that the ending would explain everything. Finally, we'd have a definitive answer for every little discrepancy and the apparent differences in worldbuilding. An explanation for why Sega and the producers repeatedly insist this show HAS to be canon.

And to these fans, the only explanation that made any sense... would be if the ending of Sonic Prime pulled a Flashpoint.

As this theory explained, the Sonic we were following in Sonic Prime wasn't the Sonic we know from the games and the IDW comics, and likewise the world he comes from isn't really the game world. This is a different Sonic who fights a different Eggman in a world that's literally just Green Hill. It was a hint that something was off all along! But in the end of the series, this Sonic would sacrifice himself to merge all of the Shatter Spaces together and form a brand new world, and that would be the more visually diverse world of the games and comics. According to this theory, Sonic Prime was canon because it was a new origin story for the entire franchise.

I want you to really stop and think about how asinine of an origin story this would be. Really drink this in. The idea that there was another, slightly different version of Sonic who went on a kinda shitty multiverse adventure and then sacrificed himself to create the real Sonic that we've known since 1991. People convinced themselves this made more sense than the simple explanation that a different team of writers got some stuff wrong and Sega didn't make them change it. Interviews where producers talked about drawing on Sonic's "mythology" (ie: they reference the games in the show) were taken very literally - they must be saying that Prime's story is mythological in nature, and that this show would be integral to the games' mythology. Why bother making a show that's canon if it's not going to be crucial to that canon, after all?

The final episodes dropped, and none of this happened. Because of course it didn't. It was all Sherlock fandom-level copium. But fans were left confused by the lack of a grand reveal of where Sonic Prime fits in the timeline, believing they had been promised this, and they turned to Ian for an explanation. Ian's answer:

It doesn't matter, b/c Prime wipes itself out. It's sometime after Advance 3*, but otherwise, it's moot. I didn't want to sour anyone's expectations or investment by spoiling how Prime resolves, that's all. If you enjoyed it, awesome. Savor it. If you didn't, then you can safely ignore it. Simple as that.

* About a trillion people have um, actually'd Ian to point out Orbot and Cubot briefly appear in the show, but if we're really being pedantic here we don't actually know how long before Colors Eggman built Orbot and Cubot, so it wouldn't be fully accurate to say a story featuring Orbot and Cubot couldn't be set before Colors. Either way, a story set anywhere around Colors, or at any point later than that, could still be described as "sometime after Advance 3." Advance 3 is just the most recent game that has specific in-game events referenced in the show. Yes I can feel myself morphing into the nerd emoji before your very eyes

Anyway, this is the latest reason Ian is getting death threats on Twitter. This time it's over a show he barely even had any input on!

I'll cut to the chase. It is truly wild to me that people are getting this heated over canonical inconsistencies in a series as historically inconsistent as Sonic, to the point that they think threatening Ian is justified. The aesthetics of the entire world Sonic inhabits change every other game. Sonic Chronicles may no longer be canon due to the Penders lawsuits, but it was canon at one point, and it took huge liberties with Sonic's world, moving Green Hill off of South Island and reinterpreting Station Square as a tiny outpost in a snowy alpine forest region. Characters' personalities change from writer to writer and based on what Sega wants at the time, with some being WILDLY different across different games. One game Sonic will be stoic and cool, the next he thinks "Baldy McNosehair" is the funniest thing ever. Sega's STILL trying to figure out what Amy's personality is supposed to be. We still don't have the explanation for how the two seemingly contradictory backstories for Blaze can fit together. There have been multiple huge, sweeping retcons, and retcons to those retcons. Sonic Forces claims that Classic Sonic is from an entirely different universe than Modern Sonic, and the plot only makes any sense if that's true - otherwise, Modern Sonic would have already known Eggman was going to beat him and take over the world when he did, because his younger self had already lived through that war. All of that makes no sense in the newly reunified timeline, but Forces is very much still canon.

For fuck's sake, we're talking about the series where Eggman blew up half the moon and then it looked completely normal in every other game after, explained away as "the moon just rotated so we can't see the destroyed side from Earth." This has never, ever, ever been a franchise where everything lines up perfectly with no issues. It's not that serious.

The real core problem with Prime isn't that things don't line up 100% with our current understanding of canon, or that Sonic's characterization means this can't be the real Sonic, or anything like that. The problem, as I've been saying this whole time, is that the story is bad. None of these discrepancies would truly matter if the story was better. They'd just be nitpicks. The fact that Sonic and friends live in Green Hill would be the farthest thing from my mind if the drama was more engaging, if the villains were better, if the jokes were actually funny, if more of the alternate universe counterparts of Sonic's friends had more than one generic character trait each, if the multiverse was more creative and varied, if the final seven episodes of this show didn't devolve into the third act of an MCU movie and then just arbitrarily end, if Nine's character arc actually had a satisfying conclusion instead of ending with either isolation or nonexistence. Maybe we'd be seeing people talk about more than just whether or not it should be considered canon if the writing was any good.

"Canon" is not real, and it sure as hell isn't worth sending people death threats over. It's a storytelling tool. Real human beings decide what does and doesn't go into that canon, or how much they do or don't want to draw on past stories, when creating a new story. Serving that canon is secondary to creating a story where the emotional truth resonates with the audience. And Sonic Prime failed to do that. That is its true failing.

And finally, to close out...

Since people will ask, here are my current ranking of the Sonic TV shows, now that Prime is finished.

Sonic Boom

Sonic SatAM

Sonic X

The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

Sonic Prime

Sonic Underground

Yes, I'd say Boom is my favorite. It's far from my ideal Sonic cartoon, but it gets a lot of points for being as funny as it is. But the top four are all shows I'd say I like, more or less. They all have their pros and cons.

So now, uh... I guess let's hope the live action Knuckles show coming to Paramount+ is better than the underwhelming synopsis of "Knuckles helps deputy sheriff Wade train in the ways of the echidna warrior" would imply? Maybe we'll get lucky?

#tkp post #other media

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in1-nutshell · 23 days ago

Note

IN1-NUTSHELL DROP TFONE OPHELIA AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!!

Introducing TFONE Ophelia!

Hope you enjoy!

TF1 Version of Ophelia

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Mention of injury, Angst, Cybertronian reader

TF1

It was rare for a sparkling to end up down in the mines.

Most who did ended up running away or getting crushed.

The ‘luckier’ ones were found by supervisors and taken away.

None of the miners ever saw them again.

But this one was special.

Not just because they were probably one of the smallest sparklings they had ever seen.

But because they had lifted up a full cart of energon over their helm and threw it.

The miners were vaguely aware that 1 percenters existed, but never actually seen one.

There was no telling what the supervisors would do.

For once, the miners agreed to keep the 1 percenter with them.

Maybe they would help out around when they got older and taller.

Strength was needed in the mines.

After a bit of babysitting, the sparkling finally found the bots she liked the most.

Two miners, D-16 and Orion Pax.

Well, more D-16, but Orion was always with him, so they were a package deal.

D does not know why the sparkling chose him, but he isn’t complaining.

She could fit in his servo easy, adorable optics and the cutest smile he had ever seen.

Orion was also her favorite.

Orion was the bot who actively played with her.

It was a little rough for D’s liking.

D-16 walking into the hall. D-16: “Orion I need—PAX WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” The sparkling was on top of one of the higher bunks with Orion at the bottom with his servos ready to catch the sparkling if she fell. Orion: “Relax D, she’s just a bit curious.” D-16: “That does not explain why she is so high! Move I’m getting her!” Orion grabs D’s shoulder. Orion: “Ophelia’s fine D, but you scaring her is going to make her fall.” D-16: “Ophelia?” Orion: “Yeah, I tried out some names while you were out. She seems to like that name. Isn’t that right Ophelia!” Ophelia’s helm turned to the two bots and immediately starts chirping at them both happily. D-16: “I was thinking on Maxima or Ironhold… but Ophelia does sound better.” Orion puffs his chassis a bit with pride as he goes to pick up the sparkling and giving her to D. D-16 smiles at her. D-16: “You miss me, Ophelia?” Ophelia: “D!” Both mech’s jump at the sound. Orion: “Did she just…” Ophelia: “D! D! D!” D-16 smiles even more, cuddling the sparkling closer to his chassis.

As the years passed by, Ophelia grew a bit before stopping shortly around their knee joints.

Safe to say it was official, Ophelia was a minibot.

As she grew older, she ended up persuading D, and Orion to let her help out with the mines.

She wanted to help.

Elita soon caught wind of this and immediately took the mini under her wing and squad.

Minibot or not, Ophelia was a 1 percenter and could help in big ways.

Ophelia ended up working with cargo placements and on the occasion helped with the entrance of tunnels collapsing.

Give the minibot a jetpack and a sturdy rock, she could stabilize the tunnel’s entrance for almost a whole minute before crashing down.

D hated whenever she had those jobs.

Even more when supervisors ordered it and not Elita.

Elita at least understood that Ophelia had limitations, the guards couldn’t care less.

Ophelia and D end up teaming up on Orion many times whenever he tries to bring up some sort of crazy idea.

In response, Orion brings the minibot with him.

D has near spark attacks when this happens.

D-16 is standing in front of Orion and Ophelia; his arms crossed and had a disappointed look on his face. D-16: “I told you both going after those slugs was more trouble than what it’s worth.” Ophelia: “But—” D-16 look makes her stop. The mech’s attention turns to Orion. D-16: “She could have gotten hurt Pax. She’s still a youngling and doesn’t know any better.” Orion: “I was watching her D. Do you think I’d let something bad happen to her?” D-16: “Its not that I don’t trust you—” Orion: “Then what is it?” D-16: “I’m just worried my daughter is going to pick up your bad influence of jumping off building and messing with protocol!” The words sink in for all three bots. Ophelia: “…Do… do you really see me like that D?” D-16 considers lying for a second but decides against it. D-16: “Yes… I understand if—OOF!” Ophelia, though barely reaching the bots knee joints, hugged his legs tightly. D-16 blinks before gently rubbing her helm with his servo. Orion: “Primus I wish I could take a picture. This is adorable.” D-16: “And you ruined the moment.”

From then on, D-16 makes it a rule that if Ophelia were to go with Orion, to let him know.

He knows roughly about half of the outings.

Orion just wants some quality time with his niece, trying to get her out of her shell.

Orion while he goes through the archives, always brings back data slugs or chips on Cybertron’s history for Ophelia.

Even picks up little Megatronus Prime or Micronus Prime decals.

The day of the race arrives.

Ophelia was told to go find some seats by D before the pair left.

She never makes it to the stands because she gets called to the cargo hold to help load some cargo.

Ophelia stops her work seeing the screen with her father and uncle in the race.

Her optics do not leave the screen.

Too bad she couldn’t see the rest of it before someone pushed her into a nearby trash shoot.

Screaming all the way down while trying to grab onto something.

She was stuck in the scrap until something pulled her out.

It was a yellow bot, not too older than her.

He was just as surprised as her seeing a bot down here.

Ophelia explained that she needed to get back to her family.

The bot, B-127, suggested waiting for a supervisor, but they rarely came down to sublevel 50.

Ophelia, feeling literally down in the dumps, figured talking to him wouldn’t be so bad.

After a couple of hours there is more crashing.

B-127 keeps Ophelia behind him as he goes to look.

It was Orion and D-16.

Ophelia spots them and runs over. Ophelia: “Dad! Orion!” Ophelia jumps straight into D’s arms hugging him. D-16: “Ophelia? What are you doing here?” Orion: “How did you get down here?” B-127: “She said some bot upstairs pushed her in. Hi! I’m Ophelia’s friend! I’m B-127!”

Alpha Trion’s message is found and the quest to the surface has been made.

Ophelia, as much as she was scared of the surface, put on a brave face and claimed she wanted to go.

D-16, surprisingly agrees, but it wasn’t like he was going to leave her by herself.

Ophelia clings between D and Orion’s back.

She is clinging for dear life during the entirety of the train scene.

Only let’s go and stands up like everyone else once they all reach the surface.

Then the mountain starts coming to the train.

B picks up Ophelia like a football and runs.

Everyone gets flung from the train.

B-127, D-16, Elita and Orion groan as they stand up and get ready to follow the map. D-16 suddenly looks around. D-16: “Wait! Where’s Ophelia!?” Ophelia: “Up here!” The group looks up to one of the taller rock formations. Ophelia is clinging on the edge to dear life. D-16: “Ophelia!” B-127: “How did you get up there?” Ophelia: “I grew a T-cog and turns out I’m a Seeker.” B-127: “Really?” Ophelia: “OBVIOUSLY NOT! SOMEONE GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!”

It takes a good couple of minutes to get her down.

Reveal of the Quintessons.

Grips D’s servo a bit too hard as Orion and B nearly get caught by the scanner.

Finding the Prime’s.

Ophelia consoles D as they both kneel in front of the fallen helm of Megatronus Prime.

Meeting Alpha Trion.

Witnessing what happened to the Primes and what Sentinel had been doing.

Ophelia stays by Alpha Trion’s side when D talks about off-lining Sentinel.

It got her a bit nervous.

Floored when she hears about Sentinel stealing their cogs and in return, they all get cogs.

Going downhill, everyone is trying out their transformations. D-16: “How do we use these things!” Ophelia tries using her cog. She feels something happening. Ophelia: “I think I got—” CLANK! Ophelia’s helm got tucked in. Ophelia: “I CAN’T SEE!” Orion in the same position: “ME NEITHER!”

Ophelia is still small (she got Micronus’s cog) but could feel the cog in her chassis.

Transforms into a small rover.

Feels something wrong with her father the way he talked slowly to Orion.

Reassures Orion that she would fix him.

The group gets kidnapped by the High Guard.

Fangirls with B seeing and naming each guard member she can see.

Screams when D starts fighting Starscream.

She ended up getting pushed and shoved everywhere until a pair of servos picked her up.

It was Soundwave.

He had perched her up on his shoulder so she could have a better view.

She didn’t know whether to be grateful or not seeing the canon now shoved at Starscream’s face.

She shared the same scared look that Orion had.

Arachnid and her army arrived.

Ophelia fair well, catching many bots off guard with her strength.

Even managing to save some of the High Guard’s members in the process.

But ultimately gets tased and captured with D and B.

Ophelia is placed with much heavier sets of cuffs than the energy binds the others had.

Internally screaming for D to get back down once he stands up.

Sentinel is about to slap him, until his optics land on her.

The Prime roughly grabs her by the back of the neck cables and drags her to the front of the room.

Ophelia tries to raise her helm, but a harsh punch sends it back down.

D yells and tries to get her.

He is restrained.

Ophelia’s audials are a bit muffled, but the distinct sound of a sword being retracted is clear.

The Prime enjoys brandishing his sword and letting it drag slowly to the shaking minibot.

D-16: “Leave her out of this Sentinel! She has nothing to do with this!” Sentinel raises his sword. Sentinel: “Oh but my Dear D-16. In my perfect world, there is no need for 1 percenters.” The false Prime then goes to strike. D-16: “NO!” The sword had stopped centimeters away from her face. The sword instead cuts her bindings. Ophelia tries to stand on her bad pede. D-16: “Wh-what?” Sentinel: “I’m letting her go.” The crowd looked at him in surprise. Ophelia finally manages to stand up straight. Sentinel: “Kidding!” With that Sentinel Prime kicked the minibot with full force out the balcony. It happened so fast no one heard the minibot scream. D-16: “OPHELIA!”

Ophelia falls out of the balcony and straight to the city below.

D yells in anguish as he sees Ophelia disappear from view and more when Sentinel brandishes him.

Thankfully, Ophelia had managed to stick a servo on the side of a nearby building, stopping her rough decent.

Her servos and pedes were dented but at least she was alive.

She tried to climb back up but nearly fell again as the building shook.

Did a train crash into it?

She tries climbing again but spots two other figures fall out.

It was D and Sentinel.

With enough bravery that would make Orion proud, she jumped on the false Prime’s back as the three of them began to tumble down.

Ophelia made sure to punch holes straight into his dense armor.

Suddenly she was flung backwards and into the sea of spectators.

She looked up and briefly made eye contact with D, who looked so relief before a murderous look overcame him.

He started for the Prime.

What could she do?

Ophelia tried to make her way to the stage when Orion had arrived to intervene.

She stared in horror as D-16 shot to Sentinel before Orion took the hit.

Ophelia couldn’t believe what was happening.

But thankfully D was there to catch him.

Everything was going to be okay.

…

Ophelia didn’t remember screaming, nor did she remember hitting several bots feet away as they tried to get her from going to close to the edge.

She followed Elita and B to try and stop him from doing any more harm after ripping Sentinel in half.

After naming himself Megatron.

The blast from Optimus’s ascension made her go back into the crowd with Elita and B.

Ophelia tried to run back to Megatron and Optimus, but the crowds were panicked and wild.

She was even lucky enough to remain in one piece.

The minibot witnessed Optimus banishing Megatron from Iacon.

She could see the slight tears coming from Megatron’s face.

To witness him call the High Guard to follow him.

No mentions of her name.

Not even an attempt to ask where she was.

A part of Ophelia wanted to go with him.

Of course she did, he was still her Dad.

She didn’t want to leave him alone.

… But somewhere deep in her spark told her to stop.

Not to take another step.

…Ophelia could only hope that listening to the feeling was the right thing…

Later that evening Ophelia was walking past her old recharging station. She carefully traced the Megatronus decal on D-16’s pod. Optimus: “Ophelia?” Ophelia jumped a bit, not used to Orion—no, Optimus’s voice. Ophelia: “Optimus.” The Prime stood next to her, both looking sadly at the decals. Ophelia couldn’t take it anymore and crumbled on the ground letting out a sob. Optimus knelt and scooped her into his arms. Ophelia knew she probably dented the new Prime’s frame a bit with her hug, but right now she didn’t care. Ophelia: “I want him back! I want him back! Orion please!” The minibot could feel the Prime’s tears on her helm and a gently shake. Maybe someday he would come back… Meanwhile Megatron had finished his little shrine in his habsuite. A shrine for Ophelia. His sparkling that was murdered by the Prime. Megatron whispers: “Sleep well Ophelia. We will meet again; I swear to you.”

#transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #transformers one x platonic reader #transformers one x reader #transformers one #ophelia #tf1 ophelia

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inklessletter · 1 year ago

Note

Congratulations, first of all, for reaching the milestone 💐💐💐 you deserve every single follower, and then some. Your art is always so pretty and I love how you bring us along during your process.

Secondly, would you like to make art based on this fic of mine? I'm thinking right at the beginning, when Eddie falls to his knees on stage and he and Steve have their "moment".

Thank you for hosting this fanart party ❤️

Steve tilts his head, and Eddie prepares for a kiss. He gets no lips, only tongue; Steve licks his mouth, from one corner to the other.

🎸🎸🎸

@2btheanswertothequestion

This one was SO MUCH FUN TO DO. I had trouble finding good references for the ambiance, but I love the result. Please, go read the fic, it's so good.

I know that I don't know many of the users that sent me requests a few weeks ago, but I've got a tiny story to tell about this one (I'm getting to know you little by little and I'm falling for every single one of you, you talented fuckers). They are the reason I am in Tumblr. It happens that I created an account many months ago, and didn't know how to use this, I just clicked "follow" to the tags and the blogs ST/Steddie related that posted fics and arts, and on my way to work, in the bus, I read the first chapter of a fanfic that made lose my stop (literally, I got late to the office that day).

Sad thing is the next time I opened the app, the fic was gone. I just remembered a few things and god knows that the search bar in this site works... well, works. Sometimes. I couldn't find it. I made it my personal goal to actually find this fic again, and this user, whose name I didn't catch because, again, I didn't know how to use Tumblr. This user pulled a full Cinderella on me, reading with intent every fic until the shoe fit. And I found it by mere coincidence, because they posted the third part, and I was like "WAIT IS THIS IT?". And it was it.

In the meanwhile, I actually completed my account, like you know, trying not to make it look like a bot (that I learned that it was a bad thing that could get me blocked), I put a profile picture, I made it decent, I learned how to use Tumblr (a bit). So, you see. This user, my beloved @2btheanswertothequestion is the one to blame that I actually stuck in this place. If you're wondering which one was the fic that got me so hooked up it was November Paramedic. (Here the AO3 link). Go read it, you're gonna love it.

(I'm kinda mad that they didn't asked me to draw the actual picture of the calendar, though. I have some ideas, I might draw it the future, because when I say that I hold this fic very close to my heart, I mean it.)

I really, really hope you like it, I worked hard on it and I did this with every bit of love stored in my heart ❤️❤️❤️

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marchsfreakshow · 2 months ago

Text

Hugh Hefner [Colin Zabel]

Smut

Colin was stressed. More than usual. So, you figured you should suprise him with something that should soothe his nerves, at least for a night.

You're welcome for this. I'm literally amazing. :3 yes this came from a cai bot. No it wasn't Colin. No I'm not telling u who.

Warnings: couple mentions of the infamed bunny tail plug lol, oral (m), praise cause he deserves it.

18+! MINORS DNI!

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Work is stressful. Everyone knows that.

Colin felt it more than ever at the moment.

People never stopped what they were doing, cases piling up, and the general public still outraged at unsolved missing girls and unsolved deaths. It never seemed to stop pressuring everyone in the police station.

You could feel it on Colin's shoulders when he visited you. Just wanted to stay in your arms, in your bed and in silence. It almost broke your heart over and over. He never wanted to talk, never wanted to do anything. Colin ate what you made for him, and immediately let you take him to your bed. Fingers tangling in his hair, softly scratching at his scalp. Heavy sigh after a few breaths, eventually letting himself fall asleep. Everything about it made you feel worse.

You couldn't do anything about the work. Not really. If it was up to you, you would've clicked your fingers and every one was found, and all of Colin's cases would've been solved. But no. Reality didn't work like that. It never would've.

Despite the wish for reality to be a little less awful, you came up with an idea one evening. It was perfectly flawless. The internet truly is an amazing place, isn't it? Bunny suit...latex, black, sleek and one size. Into the cart, it went. It came with ears, white cuffs, and a bowtie. All according to plan. But, out of boredom, you scrolled the site a bit more. Then you saw exactly what you thought would work. A bunny tail. A plug to be exact. In your head you'd figure you'd give Colin a heart attack before getting hard at the sight of you in such an outfit. Welp, into the cart it went and you ordered both items basically immediately after finding the bunny tail.

Thank god for next-day delivery.

You were trying everything on in your room, making sure it all fit. Then you remembered Colin had a key to your place, just in case of emergencies, y'know? You had one to his place too so you didn't feel totally creeped out. You only remembered because footsteps suddenly padded into the living room. "Hey, I'm here for a little bit. That okay?" Colin asked out to the house. You didn't respond at first, completely embarrassed that you didn't have time to even make yourself up.

"Y-yeah that's fine!" You stuttered out. Colin made his way up the stairs nonchalantly, preparing to hug you as soon as he entered the room.

Upon opening the door, however, his eyes immediately wandered your back, focusing on the tail plug currently in you. The squeak of the door made you jump a little, immediately looking over your shoulder. "Holy..."

Sheepishly, you turned around, hands going behind your back. "Suprise?" You chuckled, your face suddenly feeling a lot hotter than it was before. "I um..I wanted to put this on for you...try and.." you trailed off, however, distracted by Colin's surprised, yet aroused gaze. Like his brain shut off as soon as he saw the black latex hugging you.

"Holy shit.." He whispered under his breath, feeling his trousers getting very tight, very quickly. Closing the door behind him, Colin let out a shaky breath, still taking in the sight of you in latex, every single best part of enunciated all for him. Which admittedly was every single part of you on your body. Gauging his reaction as a good one, you took a few steps towards him, suddenly smiling towards him. "You look so beautiful." Hands immediately finding your waist, feeling the latex underneath his fingers. It was basically turning Colin's face into a furnace. Red as a cherry, hot as coals on a fire. Eventually, though, he looked up into your eyes, gazing at your smile.

Taking his hands, you pressed a gentle kiss to Colin's lips. While his brain still apparently had not caught up to him. He couldn't give a coherent reply, and just let you take his hands. The idea of you in a bunny suit was hot enough, but actually wearing it...in front of him...with a tail plug? It was basically over for the detective in front of you. Leading him over to your bed, he sort of sat down awkwardly, looking up at you again. "Don't do anything. Okay? Don't do anything." You commanded softly, getting a silent nod as a response.

You got down on your knees, adjusting the latex suit once you were comfortable between your boyfriend's thighs. "Worked up huh?" You asked, starting to undo Colin's belt. It was obviously rhetorical, you knew how hard he had been working recently and his libido was at an all-time low. Well...until now that is. "Verrryyy worked up..my..let's get you sorted out.." A small chuckle left your lips after you spoke, not bothering to tease with a slow tug on his zipper. You undid the buttons, zipped down the zip, and your fingers immediately went to the waistband of the boxers he was wearing.

Slowly tugging the fabric down, watching his leaky, basically untouched cock free itself from the confines. Throbbing occasionally, pre-cum desperately starting to cover the tip. "Such a pretty boy.." Wrapping your fingers around the base of him, Colin's own hand went to your head, gently petting you. It was a sweet feeling on top of the want to de-stress the detective above you.

After licking your lips, you eventually leaned down a bit more, licking a stripe underneath. Colin's legs immediately got a bit shaky, it had definitely been a while since anything like this had happened. "A-ah..sorry.." he mumbled an apology for his legs immediately starting to get a bit shaky.

"hey...no apologising darling.." You smiled, looking up at him. "it's been a while I know that...and I'll make sure it feels the best for you." Your words let Colin take a deep breath and nod, petting your head a bit more. With another smile, you leant back in, enveloping the tip around your lips. Warm breaths were felt, which only caused a shaky gasp to leave Colin.

That's always good. It only made you smile a bit more, continuing to push more of his dick down your throat. Drool starting to collect as you closed your eyes, eventually letting your lips reach your fingers that were wrapped around the base of him. Shaky, small mutters of pleasure and need left Colin's own lips with every movement. His hand actually ended up grabbing onto the bunny headband you had on, the fluffy ears being gripped onto. That was definitely going to end up on the bed or the floor somewhere in a few minutes.

Letting yourself go faster, the lewd sound of his cock hitting the back of your throat got repetitive. Blinking your eyes open, you glanced up to Colin with glazed-over eyes, only to see his own eyes screwed shut. Still hearing little mutters between his moans. Occasionally, you pulled back to catch your breath, just to go back in without wasting another second. "Ohh...jesus.." He whispered, leaning back a little as the shlick of saliva continued throughout the room.

You continued until you pulled yourself back for a second, swallowing the saliva that was collected in your mouth. Colin's hand gripped your head tighter, immediately pushing you back down, causing you to suddenly deepthroat him out of nowhere. A squeak of surprise left you, eyes wide open for a moment. The squeak sent a small vibration through Colin, making a few mumbling swears leave his own lips. You felt the viscous warmth being shot into your mouth, your cheeks puffing slightly to encompass it all. Slowly pulling yourself away, you managed to swallow what you could, licking your lips of whatever dripped out of the corners of your mouth.

"j-jesus.." Colin breathed out, letting go of your head and gazing down at you as you caught your breath. "..I love you.." He whispered with a small smile, reaching his hand down to your cheek.

With a smile back, you could barely reply without some breaths in between. "I love you more. Feelin' a little better now?" You asked softly, moving to stand up between Colin's legs. His hands wandered around your thighs, squeezing at the skin there, nodding in silent reply to your question. Letting his fingers reach behind for the tail plug, feeling the tactile fluff that stuck out of you. "Ha..yeah I um, I was just getting this, suit, but was bored and searched a bit more. Eventually finding this..plug. Was it worth it?"

Colin's hands wandered up to your waist, gripping it and pulling you up slightly, letting himself fall back onto the bed. Your legs moved to straddle him comfortably and lean down slightly. "Yeah, it was definitely worth it." He chuckled breathlessly, once again feeling the latex that hugged your body. "...Could you wear it a bit more?"

Raising an eyebrow, you smirked slightly and kissed Colin again. "Of course I can." Your lips met his again, your hands wrapping around the back of his neck. It was certainly going to be a long night.

And you were certainly glad Colin had a day off tomorrow.

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tags: @babygorewhore / @taintandviolent / @oceanblvd111 / @nahoyasboyfriend / @slutforgarlogan / @briaroftheroses @am3ricanh0rrorwh0re /. @evanpeterspeter / @feefymo / @fear-is-truth / @lacucarachapisser / @marchsfreak / @saintlucretia / @jazz-berry / @t8-ak47 / @lemoniiiiiii / @xrag-dollx / @doll3tt33

#colin zabel #colin zabel x reader #colin zabel x you #colin zabel smut #colin zabel imagine #colin zabel x y/n #mare of easttown #evan peters #evan peters x reader #smut #x reader #fluffy smut

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lets-try-some-writing · 28 days ago

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Pursued

It's Halloween night, and Rafael is more than ready to settle in for the night at base with his friends. Unfortunately, Rafael is not so lucky as to rest peacefully. Instead, something darker has plans for him.

(In honor of Halloween, enjoy a little horror story I have composed for you lovely lot. Might not be for you if you can't handle suspense.)

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Lights off.” Arcee cut the power with a firm but not unkind declaration. Rafael snuggled up in his sleeping bag, smiling as the smallest of the Autobots trecked further into the base, leaving him and his friends to rest after their night of running from door to door. There had been discussions about going home for the night, but after a lot of pleading from Miko, Optimus had seen fit to let them stay, for which Rafael was more than a little grateful. He’d rather not wake up to find half his goods from the night’s rampage around town gone and likely hidden away in his siblings dressers and lunch boxes.

Being the youngest was the worst sometimes.

“Goodnight guys.” He called out softly, earning a series of murmured replies from Miko and Jack, who both seemed far too exhausted to mutter anything coherent. Rafael smiled, contented at the sound of their breathing as it eased and slowed.

His mind calmed, his heart slowed in its previously nervous fluttering, and before long, Rafael found himself yawning. The dark void of the base’s roof was comforting enough that the pull of sleep didn’t feel far off. He was safe, in a base filled with his friends and guarded by some of the universe’s most powerful bots. Everything was fine.

He was fine.

His eyes started to close, and as they did, a faint murmur echoed in his mind. He couldn’t make out the words, not entirely. But just before he drifted off, a single sentence rang out crystal clear, almost as if spoken by someone right by his ears.

‘I will make you regret helping them.’

Fear shot through every part of his body in one jarring sensation that sent him all but careening to his feet. The floor was cold as he stepped out of his sleeping bag, and the darkness of the base felt all the more ominous. He wasn’t tired anymore, not in the slightest. Something was wrong. He couldn’t pinpoint quite what it was, not at first.

And then he looked around.

Miko and Jack were gone. Their shoes were undisturbed, and when Rafael hurried over to touch their discarded sleeping arrangements, he found that their sleeping bags were stone cold, as if they’d not been in them for some time, if at all. He couldn’t help but clutch one of Miko’s stuffed animals, the blue bear that normally hung from her belt. As he stood and looked around, the only light that he could see came from the dim glow of Ratchet’s console. There was no sound aside from his breathing, and it only served to make Rafael clutch the bear even tighter.

��Hello? Guys?” His voice rang out eerily, only serving to have his hair stand on end rather than comfort him. There was no reply to his plea. Not a sound or a whisper. It was all… silent.

His heart raced as he looked around, double checking to be sure he was seeing things right. Was he dreaming? It didn’t feel much like a dream. The air was too chilly, and the floor was far too cold against his feet. He was no stranger to nightmares, but none of them had ever felt quite like this. Not nearly so real.

"This... this is fine. I just need to find one of the bots.” He attempted to reassure himself, pitching his voice up a notch with faux cheerfulness even as he fumbled to grab his glasses. Once they were firmly in place, he strapped on his shoes, socks forgotten in his relative haste, and made his way to the ground.

He did not let go of Miko’s bear.

“Ratchet? Bee?” His voice rang out in the empty base as he moved, his small feet pattering as if in mockery of his own existence. The base had always felt like a second home, but given light only from the far off console, it felt as though he were intruding on the home of giants, or perhaps things not meant to be disturbed.

He tried not to acknowledge the way his eyes threatened to well with panic induced tears as he passed the console and made his way toward the long hall leading toward the bots and their personal rooms. He’d never been in any of them, but maybe if he wandered that way, someone would hear him.

“Guys? What’s going on?” Again and again he called out as he walked. He received no response, not even once. And yet, the farther into the base he moved, the more uneasy he became. Where silence once reigned, there were now faint sounds, pattering in the dark that felt so much heavier than his own steps. For brief moments, he thought he saw the outline of Miko or Jack behind him, but travelling in the increasing darkness made him doubt his own eyes, poor as they were.

Louder and louder, the noises rang out. Rafael clutched the bear even tighter as he recognized the heavy marching of one of the bots. Eyes blazed in the dark, cycling and viewing the world like spotlights. He didn’t know who it was, but as bright blue eyes gazed down on him, Rafael felt nothing but fear.

“You should not be here. It is far past your bedtime.” Arcee’s voice echoed in the hall, but Rafael found no comfort in it as the spotlights grew nearer, her voice even louder.

“Let me take you back to your bed. You are up far too late.” Her shadowy form drew nearer, and as it did, her shining eyes let Rafael view small portions of her frame. As a clawed hand reached out for him, Rafael’s eyes widened in horror as he caught sight of so much red splattered across her fingers.

“Come now. Don’t be afraid.” Her voice was sweet, but Rafael didn’t hesitate to run. He dropped the bear in his haste, and in the brief moment he took to look back, he saw Arcee’s claws digging into the concrete where he once stood, the bear shredded between her talon like fingers.

“Rafael.” Her voice rang in warning, but he merely bit back a scream of terror as he darted around a corner, frantically searching for an escape. Her heavy steps thundered behind him, increasing in loudness and speed as he frantically searched.

“Rafael.” Another voice joined the chorus, another set of heavy steps getting in line with the march. Rafael’s breath came heavy and labored as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him, trying not to trip over anything in the void that spread out before him. What was going on? What was happening?

Why was Arcee covered in blood?

He shook his head, fighting back tears and sobs in equal measure as he felt along the wall, searching for a door, a vent, anything he could shove himself into to avoid his fate.

“RAFAEL!” He heard Ratchet and Bulkhead, and somewhere amidst their near-shrieking voices was the unmistakable binary of Bumblebee’s voice. They were all so close he could practically feel them, their feet so loud in hitting the ground that all else was deafening. Their glowing eyes lit the world around him, but as they did, he could sense them closing in. Why wasn’t he faster? He had to be faster!

He screamed and sobbed as Ratchet’s foot came about an inch away from squishing him into paste. He threw his arms up over his head, despite knowing it would do nothing as he ran. His glasses were barely staying on and his vision was blurry from tears. Their steps were so loud and their eyes so bright that everything was a mess of sensation. His lungs burned, his legs ached as his feet pounded against the ground, trying in vain to gain some sort of distance.

As their eyes all focused on him, Rafael could feel cold and cruel realization sink in.

He was going to die here unless he acted and did so fast.

Adrenaline coursed through his veins, leading Rafael to frantically use the lights of his prusuers to scan the walls.

There, a vent. It looked small, perfect for him.

He readied himself, taking in as much air as he could before he threw himself to the side, just in time to avoid Bumblebee’s foot colliding with his body. He skidded across the ground, watching as the spotlights started to scatter, searching for him once more. Rafael didn’t take more than a second to recompose himself, uncaring of his bruised knees and side as he crawled to the vent. He silently thanked Miko for undoing most of the bolts in order to get around as he tugged on the thin metal covering, forcing it open.

He just about threw up in sheer terror as every single one of the bots focused in on the source of the sound, watching as Rafael shoved his body into the small tunnel to escape their gaze.

“Come back out here, you little-!” He didn’t know who was talking; all he knew was that it was deafening as he crawled deeper into the vent, desperate to get away. Everything hurt, and his head pounded from the constant noise. He could hear the bots chattering behind him, one of them screeching in outrage. His body shook in primal terror as one of their eyes glared into the vent, lighting up the entire space for a brief moment before what he could only assume was a curse escaped their mouth.

He didn’t stop. No matter how much his body ached, he forced himself to crawl ever deeper. He was cold, his knees were bleeding from his brush with death, and his head rang from the screeching of his pursuers. But on he went, not stopping until he’d gone through enough twists and turns to feel even somewhat safe. He paused by a vent cover, not sitting too close for fear of being grabbed but still near enough to wait for light that didn’t come from watching eyes.

Something was obviously wrong with the bots. Mind control, maybe? Or perhaps it was another Makeshift incident. It wasn’t them. It couldn’t be them.

It couldn’t have been real blood.

"Jack, Miko, please be okay.” Rafael shivered, his teeth chattering as he brought his knees up to his chest. He sniffled, wiping away mucus and snot that threatened to run down his face. He tried not to think about how much it hurt.

He just had to wait. Once morning came, he’d be safe.

“Rafael.” He heard his name again, this time softer, less cruel. But that fact hardly registered as he frantically threw his hands up to his ears, praying to every higher power out there that he wouldn’t be found.

He had no such luck.

“Rafael, it’s Optimus. I know you are scared, but you must listen to me.” No no no no no. He wasn’t dying here.

“Leave me alone!” Rafael screamed, trying to drag himself further into the vent. But before he could, the nearest vent cover was torn off, and the blazing light stopped him in his tracks. He turned to look, drawn in by the glow against his will. It was Optimus’s eye; that much was certain. But instead of glowing blue, it glowed white.

“I am here to help you, Rafael. I wish to assist you in escaping this nightmare, but I cannot do so unless you let me. Without your consent, the grip he holds over you is too strong for me to tamper with.” Most of the words flew right over Rafael’s head, but the sheer calming presence of the Prime eased him enough that for a brief moment, he felt safe again. Hesitantly, he moved closer to the opening, and as he did so, Optimus moved back.

As he stuck his head out of the opening, he looked down to see the Prime watching him quietly. The vent was right next to where he and his friends had been sleeping less than an hour ago. To him, it seemed more like a mockery than a relief.

“You will be safe with me, at least for a time.” Optimus held up a hand, but he did not smile. It was unnerving, but far less dangerous than the rest. Quietly, he slid from his safe haven and onto Optimus’s hand, watching the Prime fearfully as he carried them both toward the console. The faint glow of the device was a welcome comfort as it drove back the darkness.

“Listen to me, child.” Optimus’s voice was deep and almost guttering as he set Rafael down on the edge of the console. Their eyes met as Optimus stared down at him, blinding white, both a comfort and a deadly warning.

“On nights such as these, the Unmaker stirs. His essence runs with more fluidity, and those who have been touched by him are more susceptible to his designs.” Optimus’s eyes shifted, the delicate mechanisms turning like the facets to some grand key that Rafael could not comprehend. Still, he nodded as he tried not to focus too much on the noises of the bots slowly working their way back to the main part of the base.

“You were touched by his essence, and because of that, he has gained a degree of influence over your mind.” Optimus raised a finger, gently touching the top of Rafael’s head. It was soothing, but there was a lingering weight that left him itching to move as the Prime continued.

“I have used my influence to reach you in this place, but there is little else I can do.” The steps of the bots grew louder, and Rafael started to shrink in fear. He looked around, frantically searching for his pursuers. But Optimus’s words drew him back.

“Listen to me. Unicron feeds off torment. To escape this place, you must take a leap of faith.” The sounds grew closer. Rafael shook so much he could hardly process what Optimus was saying. What was he supposed to do?

“He will keep you here, trapped until you fight back. Face the doom that awaits you with honor, and he shall have no satisfaction.” He wanted to scream as Optimus stepped away from the console, the comforting light of his eyes fading as the Prime moved to stand at the far end of the space, observinging in silence.

“Wait!” He wailed in fear as the bots entered, their eyes all falling on Rafael like he was some sort of prey animal. Every single fiber of his being demanded he run, but as he looked over to the Prime, he saw Optimus mouthing the words over and over again, as if forcefully silenced.

‘Face the doom that awaits you with honor.’

He stood on the edge of the console, watching with tears blurring his vision as the bots gathered around. They stood like judges, staring into Rafael’s very soul as their towering frames crowded above him. The fear was overwhelming. He could already feel his heart pounding like a drum in his chest, threatening to burst from the stress of it all.

“No more running, little mouse.” Ratchet spoke up, and as he raised his hand above Rafael’s head, he saw blood staining his digits too. His legs shook, his body chilled. Time seemed to slow, and as it did, Rafael found himself presented with two choices.

The console behind him was clear. If he bolted, he could hide and run back toward another vent, hopefully escaping in time. He’d done so once; he could do so again. But if he ran... would it really change anything? Optimus said this was Unicron’s work. Could he really escape the power of a godlike entity?

Looking past his pursuers, Rafael saw Optimus watching, still as stone. And yet as he observed, his mouth continued to form silent words.

‘Face the doom that awaits you.’

Tears gathered in his eyes again. The urge to run felt like it was drowning him. But against every instinct, Rafael stayed still. He wiped the tears from his eyes and stared up at Ratchet’s hand as it began to lower. What if this was real? What if Optimus was wrong? What if this was where he died?

‘Face the doom that awaits you.’

The hand lowered. Eyes glowed brighter as laughter echoed all around him. And yet, whenever Rafael looked at Optimus, the words continued on endlessly.

‘Face the doom-’

“Face the doom.” He murmured the words that ran on repeat in his head. They drowned out the laughter as Ratchet’s bloodied hand drew ever nearer.

“Face the doom.” He closed his eyes and rubbed his arms, trying not to focus on the dampness of his clothes that came from exertion.

“Face it with honor.” His voice was barely a squeak, his entire body shaking like a leaf. But with all the will he had left in his soul, Rafael forced himself to stand still.

“Face it with honor!" In a burst of courage, he opened his eyes and glared just as the hand came down on his head. There was momentary pain, then blackness. For a brief moment, there was nothing except his screaming thoughts, telling him again and again that he’d failed and that this was his end.

Then he woke up.

He shot up with a gasp, clutching at the plush surface of his sleeping bag. His entire body was drenched in sweat, his breathing fast and erratic. And yet, as Rafael looked around in a daze, he saw that Miko and Jack were sound asleep next to him, both perfectly safe and at ease.

“You did well, Rafael.” Optimus’s voice washed over him like a soothing tide, and before he knew it, comforting white eyes let their gentle glow grace him once more.

“The Unmaker shall trouble you no more. You have broken free of his grasp, at least for this night.” Optimus leaned closer, his face coming up near to the bars separating the platform Rafael was on from the rest of the base.

“Rest now. We shall ward off his foul machinations.” Optimus’s eyes flashed, a surge of colors and hues shifting into place before it returned to that chilling, and yet oh so calming, white. Despite the terror, Rafael found himself relaxing back into his sleeping bag, unusual exhaustion washing over him as the Prime sang a song he couldn’t understand.

“We have fought him once, and we will do so again. Be at ease, child of Earth. Your duty is done.” With those final words, Rafael again found his eyes closing.

And this time, there were no whispers.

#transformers #maccadam #transformers prime #team prime #optimus prime #ratchet #bumblebee #arcee #bulkhead #rafael esquivel #miko nakadai #jack darby #unicron #slight horror #halloween oneshot

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magicalmanhattanproject · 1 year ago

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so i wanna talk about 2b2t, specifically as a backstory for qfit. because the thing is everyone talks about 2b2t as a wasteland and a wreck and a bombed out warzone and like. it sure as hell isn't not that. but it's also a server that people keep on coming to. it's a server that takes pride in actively murdering new members, but it's a server that keeps on having new members

so, what's the draw? what keeps people coming and coming back?

well, the thing about an anarchy server is that it has no rules, be they rules of society or rules of reality

the way i think about 2b2t is that it's a fucked up wonderland. like you know when someone makes a deal with a sinister fairy and it comes true in the worst way for them possible? that's how everything works on 2b.

you want infinite blocks for your builds? sure, the griefers have infinite tnt too. you want infinite totems to stay alive? sure, end crystal pvp means you're gonna need every last one of them. you want fame and fortune for griefing a legendary build? sure, you got a target on your back for the rest of your life though

but the thing is that the metaphorical fucked up fairies are busy. it's down to the individual server members to take care of the double dealing and the double crossing and the wreaking of havoc. and they do! with delight! but they can't* be everywhere at once.

so, you have a chance. you can get lucky. you can get lucky for a while. you can build a nice little life for yourself. you can even get it off the back of tearing other people down if you're quick and you're clever and that's much faster and easier than trying to grind your own resources the vanilla way when every moment is a race against the clock before your base gets found and griefed but you can try and you can do pretty well and you can try again and you can try to get revenge and you can make friends and you can make enemies and you can have everything you ever wanted for the low, low price of everything you ever had and why not pay it when you can just build it all back up again

the other things about 2b2t that i think points to fucked up fairy wonderland instead of standard wartime dystopia is so much of how the server works is really best understood as necromancy-adjacent. so every account is a different person, right? well, some people have a half dozen faces just in case someone finds out where one sleeps. sometimes. there was that one time one guy's shambling corpse** just got reanimated by a completely different guy who took over his identity and no one really minded when they found out

there's an entire population of bots that move and act like players and communicate in all the ways players can barring hte most intimate*** and they literally can't be distinguished from players in most circumstances but they're used as delivery drones so they'll bring you a package and then die in front of you so you can't follow them back to the cache

like this is just!! a thing!!! that people live with!!!!!!!

2b2t has highway unions!! it also has collectives who go around destroying the highways!! there are compassionate souls making community areas!! those areas are griefed to hell and back but not beyond recognizibility!!

it's all just an absolutely fascinating world and it deserves to be explored in how it affects fit's character a lot more than just "ptsd from bombs" even though that's also a massive part of it

*NOCOM notwithstanding

**To be clear bc it wasn't a roleplay bit, the original player is still alive, but he's got no intention of returning to 2b2t so his cubito is definitely dead.

***They can like spam crouch and send messages in chat and you're not gonna want to hop in a vc with a rando from 2b2t

#sorrelposting #qsmp #fitmc #qsmp fitmc

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mechdyke-after-hours · 3 months ago

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MINIBOT MAID CAFE

This is... messy. and unorganised. and not to mention I've never written for Swerve before. I just randomly had this thought last night, and I already had a headcanon that Swerve has a thing for lingerie so...

take this garbage /lh

Word count: 1500

Swerve's bar made significantly less shanix during off hours. Not to mention, he was bored during the day. He spent a lot of his off time exploring various forms of human media, as well as infodimping about them to any mech who'd sit and listen for more than 5 minutes. Once he started, he could go on for hours if he didn't keep himself in check.

The idea struck him when he was watching some animated human show. They called it a "maid cafe". The humans would dress in frilly dresses and serve customers various snacks and drinks. He wasn't sure if it was some strange human fetish, or just a custom he didn't understand, but he sure was intrigued. Something about the way the fabric on their little organic bodies moved just captivated him. Not to mention, it was an opportunity to make some extra money AND potentially get other mechs to actually like him more? Seemed like a win win situation for him.

Swerve was lucky he knew how to cook. Decently, at least. He poured his spark into making a few trays of energon treats. Jellies, candies, even a full multi-layer cake topped with iron filings. The ingredients cost him a bit more than he hoped, but if his calculations were correct he'd be making back at least double what he spent. Not to mention, he got to snack on some of the offcuts. And snack on them he did, until his protoform felt like it was going to burst through his plating.

With the help of some of the craftier bots on board, and the promise of a couple of free drinks, he had everything set up. Decorations and signs showing prices of items written in neat cursive were placed neatly around the bar. It had a totally different vibe, everything feeling... almost cute. Fliers had been pasted around, and given out to curious looking mechs. The pièce de résistance, a human saying he'd learned recently, was the full recreation of the dress one of the girls had been wearing in the show. The only difference was that was red and white, to match his plating, and it was strapless to fit him better. Frills and lace decorated the delicate, yet sturdy, fabric. It was tailored surprisingly perfectly, and fit him well. There was even a zip up the side to make it easier for him to get on without risk of the seams tearing because of his large arms. He didn't even want to try to get the outfit over his wheels, it'd snap immediately. Wearing such a light material over his frame for the first time was an odd experience. It somehow made him feel more exposed, even though he was technically more covered than usual. It made him feel warm and giddy inside, and he wasn't entirely sure why. Swerve wasn't a confident bot. He would go as far as to say he was incredibly self conscious most of the time. But he looked good.

From the moment he officially opened the bar, he was swamped. He was absolutely not expecting so many mechs to be interested. He supposed the promise of homemade sweets was hard to resist, by even the more gruff and serious of mechs. He was overwhelmed at first, but quickly realised just how patient everyone was being. The atmosphere was totally different to that of a bar, and he found himself enjoying it for the most part. The fabric of the skirt brushing against the plating of his thighs was a bit of a distraction at first, and it took him a good while to get used to it. Bots were chatting, eating and having an all around good time. A lot of them even laughed at his jokes! He was stoked.

After a while Swerve needed to take a break. The fabric had been brushing against his inner thighs and gently tickling the front of his panel. He was getting embarrassingly charged up. His cooling fans had long since turned on, which he luckily could rather easily explain away as his frame heating up from the extra layers. He excused himself to the storage room, and let his valve panel open underneath the frilly dress. He felt his inner fans start to spin even faster as the cool breeze washed over the puffy protomesh of his exposed valve and a shiver ran down his backstrut. No one could tell he was exposed. He could play it off. Not to mention, this was more authentic anyway, right? Humans didn't have metal plating to cover themselves up like Cybertronians did. If he wanted to really pay homage to human culture he had to do everything properly... right?

He took a moment to calm himself, and before he could regret it he went back out to the bustling makeshift cafe. He was shocked at just how many mechs were interested in the non-alcoholic beverages and snacks. He'd have to start offering them full time. Every step he took made him aware of the breezy feeling of his valve being exposed. He had to keep reminding himself that no one could tell. He was quickly getting aroused, and he could feel lubricants starting to make his valve feel squishy beneath his skirt.

He was starting to get worried that he was dripping and making a mess on the floor without realising. He was soaked. Even the slightest brush of fabric against his node was making him grit his denta. His vents were running hot, and he was almost worried he'd set fire to his dress. Things were starting to slow down, much to his relief. He'd made more shanix than he thought, sold out all of the treats he had made, nearly completely run out of drinks and mechs were starting to leave. Only a few stragglers remained. He smiled as politely as he could, keeping up the act. He tried to act like his normal chatty self, but he was getting impatient. As soon as the last mech left, he jumped up and locked the door to the bar. He had to... clean up. Clean up so the bar would be tidy and ready for when he opened it in a few hours. That's all he had to do.

His legs were spread wide, his valve on display under the layers of frills of the dress. He couldn't help but look at himself in a makeshift mirror he had set up (nothing more than a rather shiny piece of sheet metal), admiring how... cute he looked. His valve was puffy and fat, the blue bio-light of his node blinking steadily. He bit the fist of his servo, his fans kicking into overdrive as he reached down, spreading protomesh folds. Pearlescent pink lubricants all but gushed out of him, staining the floor of the storage room beneath him. His spike panel slid open with a click. He whined, before slipping one digit into himself, and then another. His servos were big, he knew that much, and his own digits filled himself nicely. He kept admiring himself as he self serviced, two digits deep in his valve and his other servo wrapped around his chubby spike. Lace and frills framed his array, and he couldn't stop thinking about just how good he looked. He'd never admired himself this much before, and he'd certainly never felt this good about himself before.

Charge was crackling from his array, his engine revving and his fans stuttering. His optics flickered beneath his visor, his intake hanging open slightly. He bit his derma hard, before shoving his digits as far into himself as he could, his thumb rubbing circles against his node. He all but sobbed as he overloaded, ropes of transfluid shooting out of his spike and lubricants squirting out of his valve into a messy puddle on the floor beneath him. He took a moment to calm himself, venting heavily as he laid back. Usually after self servicing, he'd feel guilty and pathetic. Like he'd done something wrong. But this time, he just felt tired. It was a nice change of pace from the usual feeling of self loathing that came with his post-overload clarity. He offlined his optics to rest just for a moment. Just... a quick moment.

He awoke from recharge about an hour later. His frame ached, and he felt incredibly sticky all over. His servos, thighs and the floor beneath him were coated in transfluids. He grimaced, wiping it onto the apron of the dress. Looks like he had a load of laundry to do. Not to mention he still had to clean the entirety of the bar before he could open. He sighed, closing his interface panel and reaching into his subspace for a cloth. As he cleaned himself off, his processor swarmed with images of how cute he'd look in different human clothing items and immediately his cooling fans clicked back on. This was going to be a long night.

#my writing #valveplug #transformers #swerve #mtmte #nsft

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queenofallimagines · 11 months ago

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Satan if you were a satanist before you arrived in the devildom

A/n: listennnn in between getting dragged by the Lucifer chat bots, writing two really long fics and having brain worms about this Au I’ve had so many thoughts and Satan has landed in my radar☺️ asmo and Simon are NEXT bc guardian angels are a whole DIFFERENT can of worms

I’m gunna use like ACTUAL satanic lore mixed in w the game lore

Satan:

- okay so boom

- Right off the bat he can tell you are different

- Sitting back waiting to see how you react to everyone

- Takes note you’re much more respectful to him than the rest

- Thought you were walking on eggshells because you were terrified of him but you ain’t scared at all

- You see through all his pranks

- “He’ll probably see that coming a mile away. Try moving it over here Lucifer don’t check there.”

- Color him impressed

- Does see you don’t really freak out like his brothers when he goes into one of his little rage fits

- When he offered to make the pact with you to piss Lucifer off you were really caught at a pass

- Like for one you technically already have a soft pact with him being a devotee

- But also you don’t want to disrespect him by saying no

- Choosing to not get on Lucifer’s bad side because you still do have a mission to do in that attic, soyou politely decline

- “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to make a pact with you that isn’t built on a mutual trust and understanding”

- He’s always told you to sniff out a trap and you were NOT falling for it

- Blinded by rage for not getting his way, that’s when he lashes out

- He feels something weird in his chest when he looks at you in that moment but he can’t quite understand it. Like a tugging feeling at the back of his head trying to tell him something

- When you get caught I. The middle of the whole “they’re the same person thing” you just roll your eyes

- “No shit they’re not the same person🙄😒 Satan and Lucifer couldn’t be more different, Lucifer is the morning star and Satan is more tricker than anything :/ crazy how yall don’t do research”

- Ngl he almost fell for you right then and there

- He cannot STAND that especially when humans call anything and everything Satan and refer to him and Lucifer like they’re the same person.

- Looks at you with star eyes for a second before sticking to you like glue. He’s very fascinated with you and wants to study you under a microscope

- Ask you if you’re like Solomon and have been studying for years

- Did you manage to get your hands on some devildom textbook somehow?

- Maybe even some texts form the celestial realm

- “Not really but that would be super cool to read.”

- He himself hates misinformation so you be correcting all the demon brothers with the quickness

- Lucifer is very annoyed and Satan is elated

- Notices you looking at him a lot, like you’re analyzing him

- Ofc he’s blunt and isn’t gunna beat around the bush he asks you what you’re doing starring at him like that

- “It’s really nice to see what you actually look like… if you’re shape shifting all the time and this is the form you stay in full time it’s… nice to see you face to face”

- Confused for a second because he doesn’t often make trips directly to the human world even for a summoning

- “Well I mean, in the human world we don’t actually know what you look like. The only book that has a description of what you looked like and are has the pages mysteriously ripped out and have never been found. I assume that was your doing?”

- Shocked pikachu bc he fr forgot he did that in his younger years

- His mischievous tendencies have been delegated directly to Lucifer, he understands the value of books now

- “Ah,,, I do recall doing that. It would make sense why you’re starring at me so hard.”

- Blushes when you call him a pretty boy

- Like he’s in his room kicking his feet giggling

- You bring him his offerings directly

- He won’t even realize you’re doing deity work with him and is just excited to spend time with you

- Whenever you come back home from class or whatever you give him little things you got in your way back or snacks he likes

- Nobody has ever seen satan smile this much

- Lucifer peeps when it’s your turn to cook dinner you just so happen to favor foods Satan likes and uses ingredients he does to cook too

- Will be very suspicious of you mirroring his behavior

- Satan is none the wiser truly he’s assure at familiar feeling is like some star crossed lovers stuff and you were meant to meet by fates hands

- Has so many cute cat themed things in his room from you

- Lucifer is not liking how you seem to be trying to gain his trust for your own reasons but he can’t sense anything malicious.

- He can’t pinpoint any alternate motive for this behavior

- Satan will not notice until someone points it out to him

- Lucy straight up asks you why you’re getting so friendly with him

- Mammon also chimes in that you seem like you’re sucking up to him, and Satan feels conflicted be he doesn’t like how they’re accusing you but also the fact that you might be just being nice to him because you want something is setting his nerves on fire

- Rolling your eyes you shoot back at Lucifer that you’re just worshiping Satan like you usually do

- The old man is takes aback and Satan is like…. I beg your pardon?😀

- “Satan has been my patron for years now, the only thing that’s different is that I can give him my offerings and ask him for help directly”

- Mammon is chewing the carpet he’s supposed to be your first man!

- Satan is flabbergasted and is searching his memory for this information

- Before he remembers

- “How did I not notice??”

- “I thought you knew??”

- “NO???”

- Dinner is wild bc now asmo asking for embarrassing memories of you

- Rip bc Satan gon tell it ALL😭

- I feel like he’d be the type to keep a log so he might not remember every single face and name because he does fuck with some people who summon him

- Grabs your notebook from his room and starts reciting shit BAR FOR BAR

- “Oh yeah i remember this! You were quite a rowdy child picking fights with everyone. Your temper was awful”

- “YOU DO NOT GET TO FUCKING SAY THAY TO ME!!”

- laughing because he’s taking a stroll down memory lane and he’s dragging you along

- Can feel your anger a mile away, he’s in your ear now more than EVER going “don’t you want to go apeshit?”

- Constantly encouraging you to loose your temper on Lucifer

- He feeds off your rage and it feels almost euphoric to him, because he’s an instigator if anything😭

- “Where the fuck is your rage?? Lucifer was definitely disrespecting you👀👀”

- Exhausting

- Lucifer will get on him about having you up for hours on end reading and studying when you need to sleep

- You will NOT fail any class not on his fucking watch! He’s gunna make sure you excel in this exchange program academically

- Even if he’s not who you ask for things he’s helping you

- “Do NOT as belphie for help with dream interpretation I’ll help you!!”

- Very proud to show you off

- “Y’all see MY human?”

- Mammon is trying not to start problems on purpose

- He will probably bend you over Lucifer’s desk bestie it’s inevitable

- If you’re intimate before he knows he’s really gentle and makes sure to take his time with you

- If it’s after he will be rough and mean

- He definitely cares about you and loves you but he will pretend he’s using you as a toy

- As if he’s your god and you’re nothing but a lowly mortal designed to be used and filled up by him

- Choking you out and breeding you for hours on end

- Will be so incredibly gentle with aftercare it’s almost like he’s a different person

- “Look at you drooling and can’t even keep your eyes focused. Pathetic. You’re too stupid to think of anything other than how I’m ruining you”

- Makes you struggle to walk every time

- Gets carried away and marks you everywhere like diavolo asking you why there’s a hickey on your ankle😭

- Almost buys you a collar if Lucifer didn’t stop him

- Wants you to know you belong to him and you’re his little follower

- Tells you how good you are for him and gives you a nice reward

- “You’re so good for me, so eager to please and make me happy. My human deserves a reward hm?”

- Cocky asf for no reason PLEASE humble his ass!!

- Gets off on it when you pin him down and call him pathetic

- “The great avatar of wrath Satan himself bouncing on my lap like a whore desperate to get off.”

- He’s literally turning to mush for you

- Whimpering and looking at you with teary eyes

- “P-please I need to cum I’ll do anything”

- Bites back a moan when you coo at him that he’s so pathetic needing a mortal to get off

- He can feel how mean you are and your anger through your pact and it’s making his body buzz with excitement

- Panting and wiggling his hips he’s begging you to fill him up

- Call him a good kitty and he probably won’t be able to last

- Likes when you punish him like best his ass fr leave bruises make his ass bright red!!

- He’s really just attached to you and will cause a big issue when you have to leave the devildom at the end of the year😅

#x black reader #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me x black reader #obey me satan #satan x reader #my wrtitng #satan smut #Satan obmswd #obm satan #Satan x Reader smut #obey me smut #satan om

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