#I fought this one for days so the fact that there’s something post-able out of it

[autumnblooms]

Ekko: Can you guys not? For like, five minutes?

Caitlyn & Vi: *that one making out meme*

[k0mmari]

SYSTEM! SHEN YUAN PT.3

Too tired to do my obligations, but too stressed out to sleep, so here we find ourselves again.

This, once again, got horribly long- so long, in fact, I think this is the longest post in this 'trilogy'-, so I apologize in advance (╥ᆺ╥;) I also apologize for the lack of doodles, but dont worry! Im preparing a special one for later <33

After that night where SY offered Binghe an umbrella, things have certainly… changed. Unlike before, where SY spent most of his time mapping away at the ridiculously complex castle hallways and carefully marking away which times it was most likely for SY to be able to get close to Xin Mo, alongside doing his ‘servant’ duties of gathering dirty laundry and cleaning a room here and there, his routine had been suddenly adjusted; now, while he still needed to do everything he was doing before, his servant duties consisted of accompanying the chosen Wife Of The Day.

Or, well, that’s how one of the higher ranking staff had put it, that he was to attend to whatever wife Lord Luo decided to entertain for the day, but honestly, SY was starting to suspect that that had been a convoluted way for Binghe to have SY around whenever he wanted, which…. Was frankly quite worrying! To have the golden protagonist keep his eyes glued on his back almost every second they were in the same room, which - if SY looked back- usually led to Binghe looking away in a (bad) attempt to pretend he wasn’t glaring daggers at SY was more than enough for SY to think the Emperor was probably plotting his demise.

What else could it be? Specially with the way Binghe’s hand seemed to always be lightly tugging at the tassel on his hair every time SY caught him looking, he suspects Binghe had caught onto SY not actually being a servant, and instead that weird guy he saw before he fell into hell that one time. What if Binghe thought SY was somehow involved into the Abyss Incident?? Lord Luo, please have mercy on this servant!

Though, maybe the strangest part of it all, was that sometimes Binghe and SY would just… talk. Usually when the Wife Of The Day was doing something else (e.g. playing music for her husband, or practicing archery, or doing anything that didn’t involve LBH 100% at her side), Binghe would just start musing out loud about the strangest things. It started with questions that were all fair to ask, like ‘How come this servant is a human in the demon realm’, or ‘How come this servant has such short hair’ (SY bullshitted something about being a former slave) but eventually it shifted to questions that were a bit more… random. Or, well, not even questions, musings that Binghe muttered out loud but clearly wanted SY’s input.

It started with minimal things, like Binghe wondering about some type of monster he wanted to fight but he forgot how to do it without damaging the fur too much, which, after a minute of silence and a not-so-subtle look at SY, led to SY nerding out and saying not only the monsters weakness, but what could be done with every important part of the body. Though, the day after that SY realized how strange it was that Binghe was wondering that out loud, since he only fought that monster well into his time as an Emperor, and he swore he remembered one of the wives gushing about her new bracelet that was made from the rare bones of that creature just a few days ago…

Anyways, it continued with questions of similar nature: musings on how to kill a monster Binghe would have no problem killing, to what he should eat for dinner, to what gift should he get for Wife Of The Day. Of course, SY answered all the ‘questions’, and sometimes they even made it to having an actual conversation! Sure, it was a little stilted, SY could not figure out for the life of him why the great Lord Luo was interacting with a random servant, but one day it all finally clicked to him. Binghe had been in the middle of ‘musing’ about hair oils(??), when SY couldn’t help but interrupt him:

“Ah…. Apologies if this lowly servant is overstepping, My Lord, but does My Lord just want someone to talk to?”

A few emotions flashed through Binghe's face quickly enough for SY to not be able to decifer any of them, but eventually landing on a sheepish smile. "This Lord has been found out."

Oh, how cute! And how sad! SY had noticed when SQH was just showing him his shitty story how sad that LBH, even after getting the world to bow at his feet, never really had friendships. Sure, he still had all the love he could want, but sometimes people need friends to talk to, not lovers!

While he knew that he shouldn't interact with characters in world overlooked by the System unless they were transmigrators, SY couldn't help but feel that the situation was dire enough that LBH would turn to a no-name servant in this time of desperation. And it would be a great opportunity to study Xin Mo more closely as well! If SY showed LBH the wonders of friendship, maybe he could pass by his supervisor that he only had to do what was necessary for this world to not implode on itself.

Besides, who could even say no to such a handsome man such as LBH? Is as the old saying goes: what the protagonist wants, he shall have.

*

SY's friendship plan has been going great! After figuring out Binghe's intentions, it seems all of the protagonists reservations flew out the window, and SY was now responsible for being Binghe's personal retainer. Not that that meant too much, since Binghe liked to bend the rules to his liking, and some tasks that should be SY's responsability sometimes were pushed to another servant or Binghe himself made them (which, ???)

Mostly, SY stood at Binghe's side, served tea, was used so Binghe could bounce ideas off of someone, and tended to finer details. All of that very much manageable, if not for the weird mood swings LBH would have sometimes. Yuan, as he has told Binghe was his name after being too scared of the repercutions of using 'Shen', was to accompany him all the time, but sometimes not all the time, or else LBH would get moody; Yuan was to listen to LBH's ideas and plans, and should always comment back or else Binghe would feel neglected, but not too much or else, as LBH had put it, could 'bring back bad memories'; Yuan was to tend to LBH's night routine, even as far as to brush his hair, and if he refused LBH (again) get all moody, but he couldn't brush too much, and he had to do at least one braid but NEVER touch the old, frizzy braid that still had that damn tassle-

Honestly, it was a careful game of balance, which reminded SY more often than not of a child that got mad when their older sibling didn't quite understand the redundant rules they made for a make-believe. Any other person would get fed up, and probably scared of Binghe's constant mood swings, but SY had him all figured out, and his resilience proved to be useful time and time again, since most of the time after his sour mood passed, Binghe would come crawling back with the most pitiful face ever, and what was SY to do? As LBH's friend, it was his duty to hug him and pat his head! (And no one could judge him for that, since if he didn't pat Binghe's head, his mood would plummet all over again.)

Though... SY did feel kind of bad. He wouldn't be able to stay with Binghe forever, and would even need to potentially steal his all-powerful sword for a little bit so everything wouldn't get corrupted. Honestly, the only thing keeping SY from worrying about being labled as a traitor and potentially getting killed was that he would just go back to the System's office and go on with his life.

*

LBH, eventually, caught onto SY's plan on leaving - really, it was only a matter of time. After that fateful encounter with that other SQQ, LBH had found himself in rather pitiful state, questioning everything he knew until that moment and wondering why he couldn't achieve that happiness, and desperately trying to search for a SQQ of his own. He had contemplated going back to that first world, but what would it even matter? Even if he took SQQ by force, his heart would still be with that other LBH, and Binghe couldn't bear the thought that he wouldn't be everything in SQQ's world, as he had become for LBH.

Specially after Meng Mo had one day interupted his carefully crafted dream of an idelic world and pointed out some curious memories he'd almost forgotten about. That day, when back in his childhood, when he'd been beaten up by a buch of older kids and hallucinated a man in strange clothes before passing out and waking up protected from the rain. Or when he thought he'd lost his jade pendant forever, only to magically appear in the cabin later.

Or the strange man in the Immortal Alliance Conference.

After SQQ- SJ , that good-for-nothing scum- pushed him to the Abyss, he tried his best to never think about that day again, too scared by how weak he'd been, pleading to man that would sell his soul for one more night at that brothel of his if he could, but now... Now that he could mold his dreamscape any way he wanted, he could look back with a clear mind, which eventually led to the conclusion: It must have been the same person. The same strangely dressed man that helped him in his childhood somehow appeared at the Immortal Alliance again, and even had left provisions right next to where Binghe had fallen.

He'd convinced himself, after many, many years of wishing for a miracle, that he's simply imagined the man, one last thread to keep himself from going insane, but after meeting the other SQQ...

And then Yuan came in. A new servant that seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

It took some observation, and a lot preparing himself to face dissapointment that maybe he was just projecting, putting the image of someone else onto a random man, but that day, when LBH was wondering if he was just wasting time, that that beautiful dream of having his version of SQQ would not happen any time in this world, that maybe he really should just go look at other worlds; after all, if it happened once, it had to happen again, right? Not that it mattered in the end, since while he spireled, much to Xin Mo's pleasure, an umbrella was put over his head, and all his doubts had washed away.

Yuan had to be his version of SQQ, it had to be. And after all his effort of getting close to him, after going so far to keep Yuan at his side, even if he still battled with that his perception of SJ and the other SQQ sometimes overlapping with Yuan's image, even if he still wasn't ready to let go of that one braid, he was becoming more and more sure in his assumption that his SQQ had come to him. Everything was going as planned, and LBH was in track to finally begin to properly court him, and yet-

He was sure Yuan wanted to leave. He wasn't sure why, not how he would do that, maybe just dissapear like he had all those years ago and either only appear again 5, 10, 100 years in the future or go back to wherever he came from in the first place. But LBH knew Yuan wanted to leave, that he needed to complete whatever mission he had (after LBH managed to pry that out of his dreams, which where another source of confusion, with how absurdly difficult they were to even get a grasp of), and that, under any circumstances, he could let Yuan escape his sight.

Not again. Never again.

Binghe had become even stickier in the last few weeks. Not that SY minded, it was very cute to see such a different side from the cool, badass Lord Luo, but SY was running out of time. Since Binghe became stickier, his mood swings had worsened even more, now not wanting SY to be anywhere that Binghe wasn't, and Xin Mo seemed to be thriving off of whatever was making Binghe extra protective, though it was becoming a genuine problem now, since Binghe suddenly refused to see any of his wive's to deal with the Xin Mo problem, and he seemed to be on the verge of qi deviation at all times.

In fact, the only reason Binghe hadn't already qi deviated was because SY was abusing his Personal System and chipping away at the qi deviation in Binghe's night routine, since it was the only time where he was physically very close to Binghe and could spend long periods of time manually coding away at the System screen without it looking suspicious.

But, as if that wasn't enough of a problem, since Xin Mo was having the time of it's life recently, the virus clinging to the sword was also getting stronger, leaving even more residuals all along the castle and bordering on infecting Binghe himself.

His Scissors where thankfully, repaired, and his sweet, sweet manager was even kind enough to send him some extra energy supplies, but at the rate the virus was spreading, he was worrying that he would have to deal with the source as soon as possible or else it would become to strong to deal with it in a non-destructive way.

He... Didn't want to leave Binghe just yet, specially since he wanted SY's attention more than ever recently, but...

No, he needed to do this; their time together was never supposed to be eternal anyways, and if he let the virus spread, he would only be putting LBH's life in danger, and he couldn't continue living with himself after that. He decided he would fix the virus at night, while Binghe slept, and by the next morning he would be gone - he would have, after all, just enough energy to go back to the office.

He just hoped Binghe would be able to forgive him later.

When night came, and SY got to doing the usual night preparations, it just felt like an extra needle being stabbed in his heart when, while brushing Binghe's hair, Binghe looks back uncharacteristicly anxious, and asks if SY can undo the braid and remake it. SY does, and if Binghe notices SY takes extra long to pamper him that night, he says nothing.

When SY is sure Binghe is asleep, he sneaks out of his room and heads to back to Binghe's. Yeah, maybe he stalls a bit with snipping off every piece of the residual virus he came across, but one could argue he was just being extra thorough with his job.

The excuse, unfortunately, didn't last long and eventually he found himself in front of Binghe's room, staring at the door as if he was about to be sentenced to death. After a few minutes of reminding himself that he needed to do this, he took a deep breath and slowly opened the doors. Binghe usually slept with the sword perched right beside his bed, so SY would probably have to use the System and put Binghe in an extra deep sleep if he wanted to make sure the other didn't wake-

The moment he places a foot inside, though, he realizes something is wrong; the room is empty, Binghe is not asleep in his bed and Xin Mo is not besides the bed. Oh, oh no, had Binghe-

"A-Yuan." Binghe says, and SY nearly jumps as he turns around. There LBH stands in the middle of the hallway, not even in his sleeping robes, with a hand clutched tightly on Xin Mo's handle. His eyes are watery but no tears spill.

SY tries to speak but finds he doesn't even know what to say, he can't even try to deny that he's up to something, since his gigantic Scissors are just out an about. Still, he tries to make Binghe understand, say that he needs to do this, and after this Binghe won't have to worry about anything anymore. Though it barely seems like Binghe is listening, and eventually just cuts in when SY starts to say anything in his panic.

"This is what A-Yuan wants, right?" He asks, extending one arm and presenting the glitched out Xin Mo. SY doesn't even have the chance to find an excuse, as Binghe immediately continues. "Than take it."

"Wh- Huh?" "Take it."

He's so shocked he almost drops his Scissors. What does he mean 'take it'??? Binghe has to know everything that's at stake here! He doesn't even know what SY wants to do with it! He tries to say that, how Binghe shouldn't just hand the sword to anyone like that, but a sudden burst of energy set his priorities straight. Shit- The virus! It's growing by the second, at this point SY will have to cut Xin Mo-

"...Binghe, I-" "I don't care what A-Yuan wants with Xin Mo! Take it, use it, break it if you want, I don't care! But if A-Yuan takes it, than he will have to stay." "Binghe, that's not..." "Why not?! That's your goal, right? Do whatever it is that you want to do with Xin Mo? Than here you go, A-Yuan can do it, but I won't let you leave me again."

SY can't even mask when his eyes dart towards the tassle on Binghe's new braid. Binghe just clenched his jaw, but it feels like confirmation enough.

He adjusts his grip on the Scissors, and, as he has nothing else to hide, dispels the System's illusion, his simple clothes glitching out to reveal the System's uniform. Binghe's eyes fill even more with tears, but none fall."

"I... I'll have to go back, Binghe." "No." "Binghe, listen to me, I-" "No. No! A-Yuan will get Xin Mo, and then he will stay." "I-" "You will stay! I can't-" Binghe can't even finish his sentence before he has to choke out a sob.

The virus starts warping the air around it, and slowly crawling up Binghe's arm. SY's decision has practically been made for him. He lifts the Scissors. Binghe pushes Xin Mo forward.

"...I'll come back." "A-Yuan-" "I'll come back, Binghe." One single tear falls and his arm jerks, not knowing if he trusts SY's words or not. He still his arm as the Scissor blades encircle Xin Mo.

"A-Yuan..." "I'll come back, I promise." "..." "I promise."

"......Okay."

Shen Yuan cuts Xin Mo.

[nathanbatemanfucker]

Fault Lines Ch. 2

request: wanted to know if you could write something where the reader is a ex-winter solider (just like bucky, but maybe she doesn't lose her arm) and how she struggles to accept Joaquin. An overall angst to fluff.

pairing: joaquin torres x ex-super soldier!f!reader

contents: canon typical violence, illusions to abuse and torture, ptsd and other mental illness, enemies to lovers, angst

wc: 1,383

an: this series is based off of this request here! this is definitely a slow burn/fluff if you squint type beat so just bear with me <3

fault lines masterlist

The safe house is quiet, save for the low hum of the overhead light and the occasional rustle of movement from Joaquin as he leans against the wall opposite of you. He knows better than to box you in—that’d only make you more restless than you already are.

Post-meal and shower, you sit on his cot, arms crossed, gaze fixed somewhere past him like you’re already planning your exit. The space smells of antiseptic and metal despite the warm paint and comforting art. Someone had tried to make this as home-y as they could and failed.  

He doesn’t doubt that you are.  And you are. You’re on edge, always hypervigilant for the worst. That the two men in front of you that promise to stand on decency and honor are liars just like everyone else you’ve ever encountered. 

There’s only one door and a few windows, but you had immediately noticed the door under the rug in the bathroom. Its doable.

Sam’s outside, making calls, searching for loopholes to clean up the mess you’ve already made. That leaves Joaquin with what he does best—talking. But tonight, that skill is failing him.

Something about you is making the words sticky in his throat, unable to flow as usual. He doesn’t know what to say to you to make you understand, to make you change. Though he’s not really sure that’s his goal given what you’ve suffered.

“You look like you wanna be anywhere but here,” he observes, arms mirroring yours.

“What a shocking observation, baby bird,” you mutter, voice steeped in sarcasm.

Joaquin exhales through his nose, tilting his head. “Ok, ouch. But let’s be real—you could’ve run already. Hell, you could’ve fought harder. So why are you still here?”

Your fingers curl in your lap, like the truth will slink into your hands if you don’t force it out; it isn’t something you're ready to touch. You flex them once before stilling. “Just because I’m here doesn’t mean I trust you,” you say eventually, voice quieter, more measured.

“Fair.” Joaquin watches you, gaze steady. He hasn’t been able to take his eyes off you unless he has too– he chalks it up to your dangerous capabilities and nothing more. “No one’s asking you to, querida. But you want something. You can tell me what that is, I won’t use it against you.”

Something stirs at his pet name, something you thought was dead and rotted. Its easy to shove it back down in the wake of what you see is a lie. He would use it against you, that’s what everyone does. If he didn’t then Sam would. You know the game. 

You let out a breath, eyes meeting his. “You’re after Hydra and so am I. But I don’t trust that you’ll actually do what needs to be done. In fact, I know you won’t.”

Joaquin frowns. He knows what you mean but asks anyway, “And what’s that?”

“You tell me,” you challenge. “You really think you’re gonna dismantle them by playing by the rules? By arresting a few low-level pricks and calling it a day? Hydra isn’t just an organization—it’s a disease. One that’s smart enough to outmaneuver every cure. You cut off a limb, and another grows back.” Your voice lowers, darkens. “I go for the heart.”

Joaquin studies you. The shadowy certainty in your tone. The way your hands have curled into fists, nails pinching into your skin before you even realize it. He should be alarmed, maybe even afraid of you and what you can do with those hands. But mostly? He just feels tired for you and all the baggage you have to carry. He wishes there were more he could do more for you, but he knows the oath he’s taken. His values, his morals—they won’t be compromised.

“I get it,” he says, voice softer now. “You think we’re a waste of time. That we’re too soft.”

“You are,” you say, like it’s obvious and with no remorse. “Your Captain? He’s trying to lead a world that doesn’t even know what to do with itself. One that hardly wants him. He’s gotta play politics. Me? I don’t have to play anything. I owe nothing to no one but myself.”

Joaquin shakes his head. “That’s not a life. That’s a war you never get to leave. That darkness won’t let you go.”

Your jaw tightens, and you look away. You don’t deny it.

For the first time since bringing you in, Joaquin feels like he has something solid to work with. You know that your past is controlling you but you won’t let it go. With their help, you could finally be free. He lets you sit with his words, grabbing a water from the mini-fridge before settling across from you on Sam’s bunk.

Silently, he offers it. Begrudgingly, you take it, careful not to touch him.

“Look, I know what it’s like to be made into something you didn’t ask for,” he says. “To be trained to survive, not to live. And I know that once you start thinking like that, it’s almost impossible to stop.”

Your fingers tighten around the bottle, the plastic nearly giving out under the pressure. The sound brings you back to the present and you loosen your grip letting the bottle fall to the ground. Joaquin says nothing, letting you be.  When your eyes meet again, he can see that you recognize that. That you believe him when he says that he understands. You let it fade away as quickly as it appeared.

Joaquin presses forward anyway. “You don’t trust us? Fine. But what if we can help? What if we can end this without you burning yourself out trying to do it alone?”

You shake your head. “God, baby bird, you don’t fucking get it.”

“Then make me fucking get it,” Joaquin challenges, matching your energy. He hopes that in doing so you'll level with him.

For a moment, neither of you speaks. The space between you is heavy with something unspoken, pressing down on your chest. Your breath is too sharp, and his is too shallow, like being stuck in each other's gaze has sucked all the air out of the room before either of you could even think. You exhale sharply, pulling back, re-centering yourself just as another presence fills the doorway.

"There's a name," you mutter, almost reluctant. "One of the last remaining heads of Hydra. He’s been running a black ops division off-grid. And if you think what was done to your precious boy was bad, what they’re doing is worse."

Joaquin barely has time to process before your gaze flicks past him, landing on Sam, now standing in the doorway, arms crossed.

The two men exchange a look. “How do we know you’re not leading us into a trap?” Sam asks.

You scoff. “I’m not like them and you thinking I would walk you into a trap is like them. If you don’t believe me, I can happily do this on my own. And I wouldn’t have either of you slowing me down.”

Sam meets Joaquin’s gaze again; its pleading, laced with the idea of giving you a chance. A long beat of silent communication passes between them.

Sam rolls his eyes, exhaling reluctantly. He knows what its like to be an advocate, the one who’s seeing more than others. He’ll let Joaquin take his chance on you. “You’re lucky he likes you,” he mutters, jerking his chin toward Joaquin before turning back toward the door. “We’re wheels up in an hour. Try not to make me regret this.”

Joaquin looks back at you, and you could swear that you see some warmth in his cheeks. “That makes two of us.” He barely catches it—the slight quirk at the corner of your mouth. It’s smug, not quite a smirk, but it’s something. An attempt at humor. He softens again, seeing the effects of what Hydra put you through.

What had they done to you where you can’t even smile? Laugh? See yourself as more than just their pawn? The thought makes him sad, yes, but it also makes him angry. You deserve better than that.

“Three of us.” You shake your head, pushing to your feet. You’re tired of being cooped up. “Guess we’ll see.”

let me know if you'd like to be on the sfw joaquin torres taglist!

sfw joaquin taglist: @magikdarkholme, @plan3t-plut0, @mewmew222, @linnygirl09, @ezhz444, @karmaswitch, @badbishsblog, @glader13, @how2besalty, @happypopcornprincess, @hiireadstuffsometimes , @lisiliely, @spider-steve, @nolita-fairytale, @hrlzy, @faretheeoscar, @giuliahowlett, @abriefnirvana, @fanboyswhore9, @sidkneeeee, @sophreakingfunny, @heartbreakgirlism, @peachyxlynch, @lomlbuckybarnes, @a-randomscrub, @ajcs150, @glimodejun, @isuckatmath1998, @arsonhotchner, @sidkneeeee, @galaxywannabe, @retrosabers, @marchingicenotes7, @marroonwitch, @jaebugzz, @that-girl-named-alex, @bxtchboy69, @moonymeloncholymoney, @mischiefmanaged71, @something-random-idk, @dualinstinct, @alevanswrites, @articel1967

> ch. 3

[starcurtain]

Hello! I just saw your latest post and you might have been referring to my ask if it was the one about Ratiorine's differing philosophies or of what philosophies they abide by (existentialism, absurdism, etc) then that's me! If you weren't referring to that I apologize for the confusion. Sending it off anon this time so maybe it doesn't disappear 🥲

Sorry for the ask disappearing the first time; I'm not sure what happened, and I was so sad because I had been carefully holding on to it to answer it! I'm glad you were able to resend.

I do have to say first that philosophy is not my area of expertise, so there may be much more qualified philosophy buffs out there who can answer this more accurately than me, but I'll give it a go with my personal understandings of the characters:

First, Ratio is the easier of the two I think. As many people have said, he's a good fit for existentialism. His entire shtick is basically believing in the power of the individual to improve and enrich their own life, to fight valiantly regardless of the hardships imposed by their life's circumstances, and to make themself into a better person by their own choices.

It's important to underscore that this means Ratio believes in self-determination, in the idea that people's lives are not foreordained but are actually actively shaped each day by personal decisions. Therefore, people have inherent freedom to decide the course of their own lives by accepting what they approve of, refusing to accept what they disapprove of, and harnessing their own individual power to ultimately achieve self-actualization.

Essentially, Ratio works under the impression that life is not guided by something as intangible as destiny, and no matter where you start off in life, what ultimately happens to you is within your control (or at least within the control of whoever controls you). This is likely a small part of why it grates on him so badly that he wasn't recognized by Nous, because the fact that one can dedicate everything to a goal and still not achieve that goal runs contrary to his central philosophy.

If he believes that people have the power to determine the course of their own lives, then what does it say about him, who fought so hard to do exactly as he claims even idiots can do--seize control his own fate--and yet didn't succeed? Are there some things outside of man's power? It's enough to make even a renowned doctor question himself, and Ratio decided to come out on the side of "It's a personal failing, not a flaw in my philosophy." He literally said "Skill issue" to himself.

Changing tack a tiny bit here, I think it's also important to emphasize that there is a difference between existentialism and nihilism even though these philosophies dovetail. Again, I'm not an expert in philosophy, so my understanding is very limited, but the basic idea of existentialism is that "existence comes before essence"--that is, things start as a blank slate and gain nature and meaning after the fact. We are not created by some grand design, nor is there any inherent "purpose for living." Things just exist because they exist.

This is where existentialism intersects with nihilism, at the starting point that existence is inherently meaningless. But, in my personal opinion, nihilism as a philosophy fails to move beyond that. Pure nihilism is ultimately self-defeating because it leaves us with no motivation to commit to growth. It's a philosophy antithetical to the continuation of life as we know it. Existence is meaningless and any meaning you personally derive from existence is also meaningless, so why bother attempting to derive any meaning at all? This complete apathy is the Device IX that Star Rail paints as so dangerous.

And Ratio is not this way at all. His philosophy absolutely reaffirms that life can have meaning, so long as people create that meaning for themselves. He simultaneously asserts that anything that people create is not meaningless ...which basically means that meaning itself cannot be meaningless. (If that makes any sense to anyone.)

Frankly, I would argue that this philosophy may be a core part of why Ratio has not been recognized by Nous so far, rather than simply his "being a good person." (Nous is a robotic AI super-computer, why would THEY care about the presence or lack of human empathy?) Ultimately, Ratio's central philosophy about people being capable of determining their own fates and purposes also applies to his understanding of knowledge--knowledge is not something which is inherent in certain beings from birth or limited to the purview of the "special" (geniuses), but is attainable by all people. People are not "born talented" or "born untalented," they are simply "educated" or "uneducated," with the only barrier between these categories being one's own personal willingness to change. The mundane can become the divine--if they work hard enough at it.

Thus, knowledge is not wealth to be hoarded, but a currency to be spent to enrich other members of humanity.

(By the way, completely random aside--it also surprises me that everyone relates Ratio to Alhaitham from Genshin when they literally have such a glaring fundamental discrepancy in their understanding of the concept of wisdom... But anyway, back on topic!)

Ratio may (sort of) respect the members of the Genius Society, may recognize their incredible knowledge and abilities, but at the heart of the matter lies a single all-important question: Does Ratio even really believe in "genius" as a distinction (other than as a concept to insult himself)? Does he truly believe there is barrier between brilliance and idiocy that "ordinary people" can never cross?

He speaks convincingly about geniuses being different from "the ordinary," but if his core belief is that people have the power to pull themselves up out of despair and achieve greatness through effort and self-development, rather than some form of luck or god-given talent at birth, then... do born "geniuses" even really exist? Is there really an insurmountable difference between brilliant and mundane?

If knowledge is the equalizer of all sentient beings, do we not all have at least the initial capacity to become geniuses?

I personally think this central distinction about the capacity for knowledge among all humanity is the actual deciding factor in Ratio's rejection from the Genius Society, because, at the end of the day... how do you become a member of the "Genius Society" when you fundamentally reject the distinction of "genius" as an exclusive category from the start?

Ratio wants to share knowledge and uplift everyone (even if he thinks most people are starting off at the rock bottom known as idiocy).

His mission is diametrically opposed to the concept of a "Genius Society" in the first place.

He wanted in to the cool kids club because he desperately craves validation and acceptance, but the philosophical values of the Genius Society are ultimately incompatible with his own. In short, he would have to cease to be "Veritas Ratio" to succeed in joining the geniuses.

Okay, okay, back to the original point again, and just one more note about Ratio: Even though existentialism also goes hand-in-hand with absurdism, I don't think Ratio is far enough down the philosophical rabbit hole to believe in the wider definition of absurdism. Although I think he does agree with the inherent meaninglessness of existence, I don't think he views existence itself as truly irrational and the universe as as manifestation of unknowable chaos. I think he'd at least like to imagine that there are some ontological principles and inherent laws governing the operations of reality, and I think he does believe that certain things can be predicted with the application of enough thought... He certainly seems to believe in some form of "objective truth," at the very least.

I think he'd at least like to believe the universe is semi-orderly, even if he might deep down admit this is also wishful thinking.

So, to me he reads as a strong metaphor for pure existentialism, with deliberate rejections to both nihilism's apathy and absurdism's lean toward solely subjective reality.

PHEW, this is already long and I still have a whole other character to talk about... I had more to say about this topic than I thought. Sorry for the long read!

Anyway... Aventurine.

I've seen all sorts of things thrown around for Aventurine's philosophy, and while I think he does inherit a bit of Acheron's absurdism by the end of 2.1, I actually don't think Aventurine is an absurdist, an existentialist, or a nihilist.

I think Aventurine is a struggling fatalist.

He doesn't like it. We see him actively question it, but ultimately, he does come back to the concept of destiny over and over.

First, I think it's important to draw a clear distinction between Ratio and Aventurine: Ratio's existentialism is a philosophy that technically works even in a theological vacuum. Nous doesn't have to exist for Ratio's philosophy to function. Ratio's belief in the self-determination of humanity is, in fact, somewhat opposed to belief in aeons in the first place, and only works because technically the aeons of Star Rail used to be human (or were originally human creations). It's essentially an atheist viewpoint.

But Aventurine is a religious character. Like, he's just... religious. That's a fact about him. Even though we do hear his doubts, at the end of the day, he actually believes in Gaiathra, and believing in a omniscient supernatural being that is not human in origin (is from outside the aeon system) comes with a whole set of philosophical foundations that most aeon-worshipping characters just don't have in Star Rail. (Sunday is the obvious exception here, by the way.)

Kakavasha's like the one practicing pagan in the middle of an atheist convention. Awkward.

Being more serious: Religion requires faith. Faith requires the ability to believe in things you cannot verify with empirical facts. To believe in things you can only feel, never see. The belief that a goddess is watching over you, blessing you, and guiding you requires you to also accept the idea that events in your life are not always in your own control--that some of what occurs to you is decided by powers beyond your comprehension.

In essence, faith requires belief in fate. And that leads to fatalism.

No matter how much he doesn't like it, no matter how much we see him struggle with it, Aventurine does actually seem to believe in the concept of fate. He believes that some events in life are destined to occur, that some things are outside of individuals' control, and that ultimately not everything can be changed.

This is the dead opposite of Ratio's mindset: No matter how hard we fight, how far we push ourselves... in the end, sometimes people fail. Sometimes the only answer to our endless struggles is that we die, as we were destined to, before ever achieving the greatness we sought or the futures we were promised.

As an aside, I don't think faith or religion are necessarily the only factors connecting Aventurine to this particular philosophy either. Even removing theological aspects from the conversation, his extreme focus on the gambling aesthetic suggests a strong connection to fatalism too--if not a goddess, then one's fate may as well be in the hands of luck itself, of the whims of the rolling dice--or the push and pull of "powers that be," those figures of authority in the room where it happens, who make their shady deals according to preset rules and expectations, every bet resulting in an ultimately predictable outcome.

(He keeps gambling and gambling, hoping that he'll get a different result than the one he knows is inevitable...)

This is, of course, an inherently pessimistic mindset, a perfect dark-mirror to Ratio's deep-down optimism. Fatalism puts humanity into a position of powerlessness. All hopes and dreams are given over to the goddess, by whose judgment and whims the actual events of one's life are decided. Pain and poverty are inevitable trials. Suffering and death are foreordained.

And yet Aventurine has to cling to this, as much as he doubts it, as much as he hates the idea that things in his life are beyond his power to control.

Because if fate doesn't exist... If it wasn't destiny, if the tragedies of his life weren't trials from the goddess, if things weren't supposed to go this way... Then every single thing in his life really is meaningless. Everything he suffered, everyone he loved and loss, his mother's and sister's sacrifices, the torment he went through--just sheer bad luck. All of it, completely and utterly meaningless.

How can you convince yourself to keep living, in the face of such supreme and all-encompassing Nihility?

This is the central struggle of Aventurine's character, the actual mental and emotional journey we see him undertaking from 2.0 to 2.1. He is literally on the precipice, swinging between a viewpoint that he hates--his fatalistic belief in destiny--and an entirely self-defeating philosophy--nihilism--whose only possible final outcome is suicide.

This is what his talk with Acheron at the end of 2.1 is all about. This is how she saves him. In that final cutscene, we witness Aventurine reach a mental compromise, managing to finally reconcile his necessary faith in the concept of destiny with the reality that life may truly begin meaningless--but beginning meaningless does not mean staying meaningless, and believing in destiny does not bar you from making your own choices or finding your own purpose in life.

Later on in Penacony's story, we literally see Acheron use Ratio's philosophy to reject the same nihility that crept into Aventurine's:

Acheron wards off nihility's apathy through an absurdism all her own, but one which manages to enclose both Ratio's and Aventurine's otherwise incompatible mindsets: We have no way of ever knowing for certain whether the events of our lives are fated or mere nonsense. We have no way of knowing if our choices are our own or foreordained. But we don't need to know this to find meaning and value in them. Whether life is nothing more than unpredictable chaos or a predetermined pattern of cause and effect, what matters is what you make of it.

Ultimately, I think that this post has really helped me recognize just how well Aventurine and Ratio work as philosophical foils.

They really are perfect opposites.

Aventurine's fatalism is deterministic, while Ratio's existentialism is self-deterministic. Aventurine's philosophy is inherently pessimistic; Ratio's is inherently optimistic. Ratio's philosophy operates on a core belief in the freedom of humanity to decide their own paths in life, while Aventurine hates but does ultimately believe that people aren't really in control, that even if no gods are guiding us, we can't rise above our own natures. Ratio's philosophy makes meaning from growth; Aventurine's makes meaning from loss...

And they both struggle with fundamental doubts in their own philosophies, core questions that are directly tied to their own lives. Aventurine worries that his faith might be misplaced, that destiny might not exist, and that everything he suffered might have been in pointless, empty vain. Ratio faces the crisis of recognizing that his core belief in the power of humankind to determine their own paths and make their own meaning might not actually apply to everyone--because it doesn't seem to apply to himself.

It's literally only by bridging this philosophical binary with Acheron's anti-Nihility absurdist rhetoric that we can reach some sort of healthy outcome. That's why it takes both Ratio's note and Acheron's comments to finally lead Aventurine to acceptance. Ratio probably needs a little bit of Aventurine's "If you didn't make it into the Genius Society, there's got to be a reason" mindset to finally reach some peace with his situation too.

I'm not even a philosophy expert and even I can see that there's really only one takeaway here: These two characters were totally written with each other in mind.

Aventurine and Ratio need each other on core metaphysical levels! 😂

It's so good guys. You can't see it, but I'm making chef's kisses, I promise.

[supernova41st]

Roots 🪷

Crushing!Lifeweaver x Reader (Dating Hcs)

A/n: You can prob tell I’m getting pretty experimental with this blog. This one’s been sitting in the drafts for a while, time to let her breath <33 (Also I’m posting this cuz the other thing I’m working on is taking a while, stays tuned sonic people)

Warnings: Physical Love, Flirty Lifeweaver, cliffhanger?? (idk)

Divider by @saradika-graphics

❀ It’s pretty well known that Lifeweaver tends to be very flirtatious around his peers. It’s mostly brushed off as his way of platonic affection, however he really wanted you to notice that his little comments are the root of something more than that

❀ Meeting you was a pleasant surprise for him, he hadn’t fought with anyone who he simply couldn’t keep his eyes off of for a while. But there he was, watching you melee someone who nearly killed him—saving his life.

“Are you alright, Niran? You seemed to have frozen up while I was out there”

“Oh it’s nothing, in fact, I’ve never felt better..”

❀ When LW uses his Lifegrip on others he’d simply pull them closer to his area, no physical contact, however with you his method is much different. He’d pull you in so that your back graces his chest, as his hands softly hold your shoulders just for a moment. He had to make sure he knew that you were safe under his watch

“Careful, dear (Y/N)”

❀ LW gets excited when Sojourn goes over plans with the team. Not because of safety or anything, he just likes to stand next to you for a long period of time, grabbing quick glances of how pretty your face looks when you’re focused. If he’s lucky enough, you’ll rest your hand on the table, allowing him to do the same in order to link his pinky with yours. If you look over at him he seems to be quite focused at everything that’s being said, but he knows what he’s doing.

❀ Golden hour is one of his favorite times of the day, so imagine his excitement when he was able to spend that time with you. He could hardly contain himself, the sun kissing your face, absolute perfection.

“You’re doing it again..”

“Hm? Doing what?”

“Zoning out. You do it a lot, Niran.”

“Ah, I see. Would you like me to stop?”

“Well, it doesn’t exactly bother me..”

❀ Ah, finally! He had been waiting for you to make another move since he made his. He was deeply intrigued of what this interaction would result in..

[anyydidi]

WRITING THIS POST BECAUSE I'M SO SICK OF PEOPLE MISCHARACTERIZING FORD!!!!!!!!!

Before we begin, everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you really think Ford wouldn't truly care, you do you.

That being said, I feel like people who claim that Ford wouldn't do a single thing to bring Stan back if their places were switched do not understand his character at all.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that he would open the portal. At least not right away. The one thing I agree with is that Ford wouldn't put the life of his brother above the whole planet like Stan did. He realizes the threat of the portal and Bill too much to do that.

But have people forgotten that Ford also loves his brother? Yeah, he was angry, bitter and resentful, but he wouldn't have just let Stan die in the multiverse. Especially since that would be entirely his fault he got stuck there in the first place.

For people thinking, "But Ford was too blinded by rage! He didn't care for Stan until after Weirdmaggedon!", have you seen the show? Have you read the journal? Through everything that happened, Ford kept a photo (tattered and worn, obviously taken out a lot) of him and his brother in his left, inner breast pocket which is the one closest to the heart. If that wasn't enough, for those who haven't read the journal, Ford kept reminiscing about and mentioning his brother before the portal incident. Even though those lines were often crossed out, it was obvious that at least unconsiously he had Stan in mind a lot. And at the end of the journal, it is written that he worked day and night, to the point of passing out, to bring Stan's memories (and essencially Stan himself) back. (Oh and have we forgotten about the absolutely shattered expression he had when he erased Stan's memories? You don't look like that for a person you don't deeply care about).

Still not enough to believe that Ford cared about Stan before Stan's sacrifice?

Let's talk about the fact that when Ford was at his lowest, that being paranoid, sleep deprived, tortured by Bill, drowned in guilt, and completely alone, he reached out to Stan? He says it himself, "I needed help, someone I could trust." After everything, he still trusted Stan to an extent and believed him to be his last hope. You don't give trust like that to people you truly hate.

Ford was self-absorbed and egocentric, but also hurt and betrayed. That feeling came from a misconception, but that doesn't make it any less valid. It is understandable that he acted towards Stan the way he did, with venom and bitterness. But we can be angry at people we love and still care for their well-being.

How I said earlier, I don't think Ford would really open the portal. He wouldn't risk the entire world for Stanley. But I do think he would do anything in his power to be able to bring Stan back safely. You cannot be telling me that he'd be able to live with the guilt and not do anything about it if he could. After all, in his head, it would be his fault. He got tricked by Bill, he built the portal, he made Stan come to him and showed him the portal and he wasn't able to let go of the journal and fought Stan for it. I'm convinced he'd still throw some blame at Stan for some of the fight to make himself feel better at first, but after some time he would just blame himself completely (the same way I think Stan did with the science fair incident). The guilt for all of that would eat him alive.

Let's not forget, Stanley worked for 30 years, basically half his life to bring Stanford home and I believe Ford would be willing to do the same. He would just go about it differently. He would either try to get rid of the threat of Bill and then be willing to upgrade the portal and turn it on again, or maybe try to find a completely different way to get Stan back from the multiverse, or in the end something entirely different, I'm not fully sure.

What I am sure of is that Ford wouldn't just let Stan be stranded in the multiverse without doing absolutely nothing. Maybe he wouldn't succeed, maybe Stan would actually have to find his own way back home because Stanford wouldn't be able to find a solution without risking their entire universe. But Ford would at least try, give it his all, because despite everything, he still loves his brother. Differently than Stan loves him, because Ford is a different person than Stan, but he still does.

So I beg you, people. Stop taking Ford's complex character from him. He can be a selfish, self-centered asshole, but he's not heartless.

[agendabymooner]

SOMETHING MISSED !!! ALEX A. X FEM!READER (18+)

summary: she missed him, that was why they got into an argument that led him to make it up after walking out on her.

content warning: smut under the cut (minors dni!), hurt/comfort-ish, argument + alex walking out, use of explicit language, p in v penetration, unprotected sex (a big no no to me but i can’t help it), cockwarming, mentions of aftercare, not proofread

song rec: 13 by lany

note: i said i was going to nap before pulling an all nighter. i’m also a bitchass liar and wrote this in the span of 40 minutes looooool! i pitched this idea to @daaiissyyyyy few days ago sooooo uh enjoy xx

something sinful (smut) masterlist

a - n masterlist

o - z masterlist

if you’d like to get on one of my taglists, check this post out!

they’ve never fought like that before and they couldn’t lie to themselves about that. 

they were so used to being around each other for so long that “being busy for the other” was just a foreign concept for the two. and having an argument until one of them would walk out? 

yeah. they hadn’t expected that either. she certainly hadn’t expected alex to walk out, of all people. he was usually calm and collected as much as she was, but everyone knew that he wouldn’t be the first to head straight to his friends so he wouldn’t lose it on her. 

she blamed herself for how things had turned out. she knew all too well that he was busy, yet she continued to pester him and had given up and voiced her frustration. she hadn’t seen him for weeks— thanks to his triple header and her busy schedule at the university.

and when she finally expressed her concern, he didn’t hesitate to say how upset he was for the fact that she wasn't able to be there for his races— how going back to university had affected their relationship.

“you’re a dickhead for that,” george told alex after the thai driver arrived in front of his front porch and they spoke over a bottle of wine. george only scoffed at him, “she loves you despite your constant travelling for your career— and you’re unhappy for her decision to pursue hers? absolute rubbish, alex.”

and to be fair, george was right; alex shouldn’t be acting like she hadn’t been there for him since they were young. it was her time to choose her own path to success— and he shouldn’t be acting like a right asshole because she had a dream too. instead, he should be there to love her. 

and that was how he found himself shutting the door of their flat quietly, trying not to wake her up despite being a heavy sleeper. he hoped to hop out of his clothes and into his pajama so he could get up tomorrow and speak to her. 

but it seemed liked their conversation would have to happen now as a head popped up from the couch, frazzled hair and puzzled look on the woman’s face as she squinted lightly and called, “alex?” 

“he- hi,” alex said softly, his brow raising as he wondered what she was doing on the couch. 

now reading the expression on his face, she sat up and smiled sadly, “i- uh, i didn’t know if you were coming back tonight or staying at george’s so… i waited.”

alex nodded in understanding before he made his way around the couch. his eyes immediately trailed down the blue lace nightgown that she wore, her legs propped to the side as he realized that she’d been sleeping on the couch. 

she immediately scooted and allowed him to sit next to her. alex pulled her legs and rested them on his lap. 

he sighed, “i’m really sorry for walking out like that.” 

“no, if anything i should say sorry,” she smiled apologetically, “i- i know the season’s been rough. the points are weighing down on you and i shouldn’t have been complaining.”

“you’re entitled to voice out your worries, baby,” alex’s fingers innocently traced over her legs as he murmured, “i was just being a dickhead about it.”

“i just— i missed you so much,” she said quietly, alex’s ears perking up in curiosity and worries as she continued to speak, “school work is draining and- i don’t know. i just miss you— i miss your cuddles and just… your touch.”

“i’m here now, my love,” alex pulled her on his lap as his fingers lightly gripped on her hips. 

out of desperation, she immediately grounded herself against his lap as alex moaned lightly as the friction in his jeans. “fuck…” alex said almost breathlessly, “i’ve got to make it up to you, baby.”

“o— hah~ fuck alex~ ‘m so full,” she cried quietly, her legs growing tired as she continued to bounce up and down his cock. the sensitive spot inside of her overstimulated as alex groaned in pleasure, his hands were sure to leave a mark as he continued to grip on her hips. 

“did you miss that, baby?” he said breathlessly, his hands now guiding her as his hips began to thrust up and his cock began pistoning inside her cunt. she only let out a whine as alex chuckled, “you miss my cock inside of your cunt, sweetheart?”

“fuck, baby, yes,” she nodded eagerly, her tits bouncing in front of him as she babbled, “missed your cock— miss your cock inside my pussy- i missed this— fuck! please~”

“what do you want, baby?” alex let out a low moan, “tell me what you want. god, princess, you feel so good around me.” he growled quietly as he felt her clenching around his girth. 

he really had missed this. 

“i’m gonna- ah! fuck, baby,” she sobbed, tears of pleasure falling down her cheeks as she babbled, “‘m gonna cum. want you so bad- please, please, fuck me harder alex i- hah! fuck!” 

alex didn’t spend that much time considering her request, his hips were now off the mattress as he began to thrust rapidly and roughly. the tone of their moans and rhythms of skin slapping were making music, producing a sound of love to make up for. 

she let out a high pitched chant of, ‘yes’ and ‘fuck’ as her walls clenched around his cock. alex’s groans tuned down to a lower octave as they both chased their highs. 

“fuck, baby,” alex groaned as he finally slowed down, filling her cunt full with his cum as she let out a strangled whine. her cunt throbbed around him as they slumped down on the bed. 

or rather, alex slumped down on the mattress while her body limped on top of him. she sighed, exhausted like he was. 

he tried to pull her away from his cock as he whispered, “baby, we gotta clean you up—“

“no,” she murmured and pleaded, “just… just hold me.”

“are you sure? baby, ‘m still inside of you,” it wasn’t anything that alex would be against, but he was more worried for her at the moment.

“‘s okay, i- uh,” she looked up at him with a flushed face and a tired smile, “it’s warm— keeps me warm… i like it.”

“are you sure?” with another nod from her, alex finally accepted his newfound love for this closeness as he sighed and kissed her head. “okay. let’s… stay like this then.”

yeah… he could get used to holding her like this. 

♡   moony’s reminder 🅶 (general): @hiraethrhapsody @avaleineandafryingpan

♡   moony’s reminder 🅴 (explicit edition): @glitterf1

[trashogram]

He Chose You (Pt. 6)

Lucifer/Reader: Lucifer wants you to be the Mother of his child. Rated E bc Explicit.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 13.5 | Part 14 | End

((This one fought me so hard, I just wanna get it out there and I’ll proof-read it later I’m sorry.))

The first time didn’t take, as you’d come to learn 3 days post-coitus with the Devil. It had left you bereft, not exactly disappointed but also not certain if you should go out and buy 150% proof alcohol to mark the occasion. 

You settled for enough wine to dull your senses before sending a text with your Hellphone. The fact that inter-dimensional phone lines were possible was simply added to the list of not-even-gonna-think-about-it of things that came with your new reality. 

A blood-curdling shriek from your pocket made you curse as you dove for it. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey-yy!” Lucifer responded cheerfully before clearing his throat. “So it um… it didn’t work?” 

“Unless being pregnant with hellspawn looks and feels exactly like my time of the month, no. It didn’t.” You said. 

He sighed on the other end, air blowing through the receiver and fucking up already poor reception. “Okay. Shit. Well, maybe we can work something else out—”

“I’ll just text you when it’s over and we can try again.” You replied as you leaned back against your headboard. 

“You-you wanna try again?” Lucifer’s surprise made your eyes roll.

“Yeah, just give me a couple days.” You’d felt a wave of fatigue crashing over you.

Suddenly you were boneless, barely able to even hold the phone up to your ear. Lucifer’s hesitant delight barely registered yet you could imagine him behind closed eyelids, smiling crookedly with those ivory fangs. 

“Y-I-uh, ok great! That works for me if it works for you!” He practically shouted. “Do you need anything in the meantime?”

“‘Mmmmffh, a nap.” Lucidity snapped back for a moment as you eyed the phone in your peripheral. “Also please don’t call or text me. I’m gonna throw this thing out the window if I have to hear someone screaming bloody murder one more time.” 

—

Lucifer being startled by the ringing of his Hellphone wasn’t at all peculiar. 

However — 

The sound of a love song, though tinny and compartmentalized to the King of Hell’s coat pocket, made Asmodeus perk up. 

He glanced down to see his diminutive brother rush for the device like his life depended on it. It was easy to feign polite indifference as Lucifer excused himself from the cafe table for a moment, but by the time the King had returned, Asmodeus was leaning forward expectantly. 

“That’s new.” He said. 

Lucifer looked up wildly, as if he’d been caught snatching aphrodisiacs from Ozzie’s own stores.

       “Huh, wha? What’s new?” He laughed off the embarrassment, re-taking his seat.

Asmodeous sipped from his teacup, clocking the many idiosyncrasies Lucifer displayed.

       He was flustered, still gripping the phone between his claws, and had perched on the edge of his seat so that he could bounce a leg against the ground. 

“Love songs aren’t your usual style, babe.” The Prince spoke casually, but his eyes were bright.

It was delightful to see Lucifer stiffen as soon as he realized what his companion referred to. One of the best about the short King was how easy he was to tease, if you asked the Embodiment of Lust himself. 

        “Didn’t know you were finally getting out there, Louie.” Ozzie teased. “Were you gonna keep it a secret? Even from me?”

“Oh n— out there? Me?! Ha! No!” Lucifer shook his hand fiercely. “I’m not — it’s not like that! We’re not dating! I mean, some might see it like that but a lot of others wouldn’t! She wouldn’t… probably!  It’s, ya see, actually — I — ahem, ah…” 

His embarrassment grew into something stranger, more conflicted and melancholy. The teasing smirk on Asmodeus’s face flattened. 

“It’s complicated.” He finished, looking down at his phone as if it were the sole reason for his sudden misery. 

Ozzie wasn't soft on many (in fact he’d argue that being hard was his speciality) but his brother was one of the few. 

The much larger Sin rested a hand against Lucifer’s back. “You wanna talk about it?”

—

The days that followed blurred together, monotony of aches and pains broken only by an insatiable libido. It was as if the promise of sex after this, however unfulfilling it might be, was the only thing keeping you alive. 

Lucifer’s bizarre consideration held up over that time, surprising you enough that when it was time to give him a ring, you weren’t as dread-filled as you could’ve been. 

        He did, however, arrive in your home via furnace suspiciously quickly upon making contact with you again. His normally pristine suit and and impeccably coiffed hair were ruffled and singed, like he’d made a mad dash to get to you. 

“Hell-Oh!” Lucifer had practically squeaked as you dragged him out by the lapels. 

You’re so pent up that it’s hardly a surprise when you find yourself sitting on his lap, having manhandled the short King onto your couch. 

His cold, smooth skin was still alien, but you powered through the initial aversion to chase after that zing that came with kissing him. It was addictive, even with the fear of being cut by his sharp teeth in the back of your mind. 

Despite yourself, you took a second to break away and breathe. 

Beneath you, Lucifer was positively flushed. His shiny, wet lips were parted in wordless awe, and eyes glazed over in his daze. 

“Fuck.” He croaked. 

You smirked, gripping onto the blond hair that had already been mussed and abused by overeager hands. Pointedly, you slid back and forth on his trembling lap. There was no way to ignore the hardness at his inner thigh. 

—

The first drag of his cock against your walls made you shudder, arching as your head fell back. 

Lucifer whined in his seat, claws digging into the plush of your thighs. The pain heightened the feeling of being stabbed twice, making your lower belly tremble. 

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fffffff —” His cries were so good, you couldn’t stop from grinding down onto him. “You feel so good. So. Good. You’re gonna kill me, sweetheart. I can't.”

“That’s ok.” You slurred, hands coming up to wrap loosely around his neck. “We can work on that.” 

Lucifer opened his mouth, but you were already planting kisses against the corner of lips mouth, his cherry-spotted cheeks, the line of his jaw and the pulse beneath his ear.

—

Your hands were focused on exploring the planes of Lucifer’s chest and shoulders. He wasn’t muscular — or tall, obviously, but the lithe body intertwined with yours was more than easy on the eyes. 

“You can touch.” It was hardly fair that yours were the only hands busy. The ruler of Hell was flat beneath you, artificial light from your bedroom lamp casting shadows on his marble chest. 

Lucifer’s mulberry-dappled lids remained low, highlighting the yellow glow of his eyes. His claws slid up your hips, reverently tracing your frame as you bounced lightly. 

“If you insist, princess.” 

He was more coy after the first few rounds, an easier grin sliding across his face. The trembling touches against your breasts spoke of the still-nervous creature you’d first been introduced to.

—

Daylight was waning again when you found knelt, back pressed against Lucifer’s chest. He fucked into you wildly, teeth pressed into your bare shoulder. 

The thought of him biting into you didn’t sound so frightful anymore. In fact the image set butterflies off in your stomach. 

That and the way he held you close, wrapped vice-like around you like a boa constrictor. 

“No baby, don’t go yet!” When you squirmed, Lucifer nuzzled into the side of your neck, breathing heavy. “Just like this. Please, baby.”

He pleaded into your neck, grip tightening to where you couldn’t breathe. 

— 

“Here.” You guided his hand, settling it between your legs. 

Lucifer’s thrusts had grown shallow and uneven, but hadn’t quite stopped. He seemed entranced, watching as you positioned his thumb over the bundle of nerves just above where you two were joined. 

“Gently. Watch your claws.” You murmured along with your hands-on teaching. 

When you felt he’d gotten the message, you sighed and concentrated on the circular motion against your clit. Lucifer remained attentive, moving clockwise as the pace he’d started before picked up again. 

In moments you tensed, pleasure sparking along your pubic bone. It built up as your eyes closed, head tipped back as you let yourself enjoy the pressure both inside and out. Your hips jerked upward of their own accord, core trembling and cunt spasming. 

Your partner whimpered at the new intensity, which only egged you on. Before you knew it, you two were rocking into a chaotic rhythm. 

With slit eyes, you saw Lucifer looking down at you, flustered yet rapt over your every little response.

“Yeah?” He asked breathlessly. 

You nodded. “Mm-hm.”

It was difficult. You could feel the tension in your belly contracting, the heat and pressure building against your clit. The feeling was mounting to where you couldn’t help your keens, your moans, your whimpers. 

It ended with a choked sigh. You arched from the bed, head falling back as you let your legs tremble and shake around him. The convulsions pulled the Devil in deeper, and the feel of him was enough to make your eyes roll back in your skull beneath fluttering eyelids. Another gush came at the thought of being so full you could feel it in your stomach. 

          Lucifer watched. His face was nearly as red as the apple that adorned his hat, knocked off of your bedside table. He had the expression of someone seeing a falling star for the first time. Stunned, eyes gleaming, unable to comprehend something despite how beautiful it was.  

The former Angel lowered himself to capture your mouth with his own. He pressed luxuriant kisses to your lips, all while his hips stuttered between your thighs until he was humping into you, refusing to separate skin from skin. 

His release was coupled with a heated groan, muffled by the slide of your tongue against his. You were glowing inside out, warmth blooming in your core as you held onto Lucifer tightly. 

— 

The woman had invited you up into her tree. It was a different tree from the last, not bearing any fruit but lush with green needles and strong boughs that wouldn’t break. 

She looks over her shoulder at you cheekily. “Aren’t you glad you decided to join me?”

You playfully scoff and roll your eyes. “You don’t need to be so smug about it.” 

“Oh I think I do.” The blonde tilted in your direction, arms coming to wrap around you. “I won.”

You stay that way, watching the nettles shake in the passing breeze. 

“Everyone loves a winner.” She says at your side.

You frown. “I love you no matter what.” 

The woman sighs. 

“You might not always.” 

—

Light humming woke you from your doze, along with the repeated motion of something against your cheek. 

It wasn’t until you’d opened your eyes that you realized it was Lucifer humming and caressing your cheek tenderly. He was nose(less) to nose with you, seemingly admiring your face slackened with sleep. 

“What’s that from?” You rasped. 

“Hmm?” The King stroked an errant hair behind your ear. 

“It’s a movie.” You continued, repeating the notes in your head. “Right? It’s from a musical…”

“You like musicals?” Lucifer asked, seemingly surprised. Fangs poked out of his close-lipped smile, and he looked goofier than ever before. 

You copied him, helpless to how silly he made everything. “What’s not to like?”

The lightbulb went off. “Oh! Cabaret. That’s where it’s from.” 

“Yeah!” Lucifer moved even closer, the flat of his face pressing against your nose as he nuzzled you for guessing the right answer. “It’s kinda old, isn’t it? How’d you guess?”

“Psh, you think my threshold for pop culture is only as long as the last ten years?” You teased, arm skating down his side so that you could pinch his behind. 

“Hey!”

***

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Please let me know I missed tagging you!

[redflagshipwriter]

Hot Ghouls in your Area ch 4 progress

(read other sections of this and more stories here)

Danny floated miserably through the stacks, pulling out books that looked remotely plausible. Maybe he needed help. Jazz would help him without laughing at him, right?

Sam and Tucker absolutely would not. They would think it was hilarious that he had so little game that the universe assigned him a boyfriend via Jeremy Waters. 

‘As if I could pull a guy who looks like that,’ Danny thought wryly, and then felt a little bad about himself in comparison. Jason was, uhhhh, physically blessed. He was tall and well proportioned and his hands- Danny fought down a shiver and resisted the urge to steal another look. Jason was out of sight anyway.

Well. He still hadn't seen Jason's face. Maybe he was ugly! You never know. Or maybe under the helmet it was totally smooth, no face. That would be neat. Danny paused mid motion to imagine that.

Haha. Sick, man.

That concept cheered him up a little as he grimly opened the first book and started skimming for likely words like marriage, spouse, and concubine. 

He didn’t bother reading anything in detail. He stuck a post it note on each page with a relevant term and then put the book in a pile to take back to his dorm. This wasn’t going to get solved in a day.

Ah, shit. Danny paused. This wasn’t going to get solved in a day. He bit his lip and looked off in the direction where Jason had disappeared to do his own research.

He truly didn’t have time to devote to this right now. He was not willing to drop his school life in order to solve a sudden problem. Jason was just going to have to cope with whatever timeline Danny could manage without setting his life on fire.

On the other hand, Jason was a human guy who probably had a life of his own at the biker bar/fight club. Whatever the hell required that kind of outfit probably kept him busy! So Danny couldn’t like, just leave him in the castle to chill.

“Not to mention the fact that he shouldn’t be able to live here very long anyways,” Danny muttered to himself.

That was troubling him. Frankly, Jason should have been intolerably uncomfortable in the ghost zone for this long without specialized protective equipment. It wasn’t meant for humans.

‘What did Jeremy do to this guy?’

Yikes. Did this mean… Did this mean Danny should have given that little cult thing more credit? But Jeremy was just such a doofus. He grimaced. Embarrassing. Why were his enemies so embarrassing? This shit didn’t happen to, like, Wonder Woman.

Danny buried himself back in the books to avoid the growing suspicion that Jason might have been uhhhh magically altered to make him an appropriate concubine to a dead king. That thought sucked! He didn’t like it. He really didn’t like the idea of bringing it up with Jason.

When he had what he thought was a good first round of research, Danny shelved the books he’d gotten out and went to find where his …

He whole-body flinched at the point where he needed to plug an appropriate noun into that sentence. 

“Jason?” Danny called, juggling books into a stack. “I think we should probably get you back to the re- the human world. Before something inexorable happens.”

A pause.

“I don’t think you know what that word means,” Jason said. A book shut. Danny headed towards the sound, phasing through shelves effortlessly. A spark of curiosity lit up at Jason’s voice. He sounded relaxed, even through the helmet’s filter. 

‘I want to hear his real voice. Bet it’s nice.’

Wait. What? Danny shook the thought away, discomforted. He plastered a wide grin on his face. “I don’t know any words,” he lied breezily. “I’m just ad libbing. Anyway!” He flopped dramatically down onto the big chair next to Jason’s, making sure to be extra physical to get a satisfying whumpf. “We really should go! I can get you to the human world, but, uh, I can’t promise to put you back where you came from.” He scratched at the back of his neck. “I think this is going to be a more than one day affair.”

Jason was watching him. There was nothing visible through his helmet, but Danny got the sense that he was tense, waiting for a threat. 

Which, what? Why would Jason feel threatened by-

Oh. Danny felt a knot in his stomach. Right. That made a lot of sense. He felt kinda sick. 

He didn’t let the feeling show through and barreled on speaking. “I don’t exactly have an easy way for you to contact me, but we probably need to stay in touch to fix this. Do you have any ideas?” 

The lie felt kind of gross. But he could hardly tell the guy; “I’m an engineering student in Gotham, you can just call my cell or come to the dorms.”

Jason seemed to relax at the cessation of control. “If you can stick around, yeah. I’ll get you a burner phone, exchange numbers. You’re not going to…” He trailed off. Danny felt a frown somehow. “You won’t have any signal here, actually. That won’t work.”

“I can make it work,” Danny assured him, hands up. “I mean, I can’t make it work here, or I would have offered to help with your tech. But I can pop in and out of the human world and check my messages.”

“That’ll work.” Jason’s helmet turned ever so slightly. “About the books…”

“You found something good?” Danny asked, impressed. “Yeah, awesome. Just be really careful with them, the librarian is a scary guy.”

Jason’s hand flexed over the closed book on his thigh. “I can take- how many can I take out?”

Danny scoffed. “I’m not your dad,” he said. “Whatever you can carry, man. You ready to go or do you need a minute?” He flipped back to his feet with a grunt. 

[intrepidacious]

❤️ a good time!

tat!bucky’s favorite (or least favorite) thing about twelve

… why not both?

cause and effect

chapter summary: How Bucky fell in love with Twelve: Slowly, and then all at once.

pairing: bucky barnes x time witch!reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: light angst and negative self talk (this is bucky y'all); some light pining 🤭please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: i've literally had this one in my drafts for about two years and i hadn't actually planned on posting it for a while yet but i did promise distractions. and i missed him. i always do.

this is part of the time after time universe but can be read as a teaser and/or a standalone 💚

Bucky’s relationship with time has been fractured ever since a cold day in January that stole away the life he was headed towards and turned him into the monster underneath a child’s bed.

It’s hard to feel good about the concept of time travel once a lot of your own time has been taken away from you. Even now, there’s only so many things in his life he has control over; like the fact that he’s actively choosing to go back to therapy now, or that he’s able to keep a pet for the first time since he was thirteen years old. Stupid little things, like what kind of food he wants for lunch or whether he should take the stairs or the elevator.

Every single one of these things he’s fought for tooth and nail, clawing his way out of the past and carving out his own space in reality again, struggling, trying, hanging on like he wasn’t able to all those decades ago.

He’s probably still failing.

Some days, clinging to the present is tense and brings him nothing but grief. Sometimes, it feels like he’s going to have to mourn the past forever, whatever might have been; and maybe that’s his sentence.

He wouldn’t have wished it on anyone. He deserves worse.

And then there’s you.

Flickering in and out of time, constantly moving, changing in the time it takes him to blink.

It’s infuriating to him, the way you get to use your powers. The way you don’t need to think about consequences, because they don’t have to be permanent, don’t have to be something you need to live with for the rest of your life. To you, time has always been something that can be changed with a single snap of your fingers. Whatever you do can just as easily be undone.

Once you decide you’ve seen enough, you can just take the scene from the top.

And you’re so stubborn.

You’ve already seen how this goes on if you let it, and so you’re always right, end of story. There’s an ease to your steps because of it, a nonchalance in every movement, and it makes Bucky’s blood boil to see it so plainly.

With all the good that you could do, you choose to do nothing instead; to stay out of the picture entirely and burn through your powers just because you can, wasting them all on things that don’t mean anything.

How many lives could you potentially save?

Instead, you consume disturbing amounts of caffeine and then continue to provide running commentary to the world around you based on things that, to him, never happen at all. "Do this", "don’t do that", "take the other one", or, his absolute favorite, "don’t make me fix that".

Why not? he wants to ask, say, demand. Why not fix all of it?

It takes a while for him to realize that all of your fire means you’re burning from both ends. In fact, it takes Becca.

"You should bring her by sometime," she tells him on a rainy afternoon. "While I’m still alive and kicking."

His little sister just turned ninety-eight. Her kitchen sideboard is filled with black-and-white pictures reminding him of all the things in her life that he missed, arranged in perfect little wooden frames.

"And why would I do that?" Bucky asks, scowling at his cards.

"Because you keep mentioning her," Rebecca says dryly and whisks the cards onto her pile with quick fingers.

"You gotta be kidding me," he groans, noting down her points. "And I don’t."

"Do, too. I don’t remember you being this terrible at this game."

"Because I haven’t caught you when you’re cheating."

"Exactly. It’s embarrassing." She wins the next trick, too. "How’s Tuesday?"

"Am I clairvoyant now?"

"I was thinking lunch."

"No." Finally, he gets a couple of points down. When he glances up at his sister again, she’s looking at him expectantly and he sighs. "What?"

"You can’t fault me for being curious," she says. She has just as many opinions as she did when she was sixteen. Her eyes are still the same, too, the same shade of blue as his and the same glimmer of archness as their mother.

"Don’t you think it’s weird?" Bucky says, finally giving in. "The whole … time thing?"

"I think it’s very weird, but so’s you returning from the dead and kvetching about it." Her eyes narrow when he starts to protest. His mouth closes again. "Besides," she continues, shuffling her hand around, "it doesn’t sound all that fun."

"To have the power to never make mistakes?"

"To have to live through every mistake twice without anyone knowing."

Something about her words strikes him like a match, and so he tilts his head and squints at her and thinks that maybe, just maybe, he’s got it wrong.

That you carry not only your past, but all the futures you’ve seen that never came to be; all the what ifs having turned into answers.

And he thinks, how nice. And then he thinks, how horrifying.

It’s a thought that follows him over the next couple of weeks, and it starts reframing your interactions for him, in a way.

"Will you stop staring at me," you say without looking up from your book.

Honestly, he can’t. He’s still trying to pick up on it, the split second between before and after, that little change of your posture, your hair, your face, that tells him more time has passed for you than it has for him.

It’s more of a feeling than anything else, something right at the back of his mind telling him that something is different if he concentrates on it enough, but he’s never sure what it is. And he doesn’t like that; not one bit.

So Bucky crosses his arms and leans back. "Why?"

A flash of irritation makes your nose twitch, even though you still refuse to meet his eye.

"It’s rude, for one."

"Noted." He waits for the two that never comes. "Anything else?"

And there it is. A blink-and-you-miss-it kind of moment, like the air shifting around you ever so slightly, a certain knowing glint in your eyes when you roll them and get up.

"Annoying!"

He can’t help it. He wonders what your original answer was.

***

Bucky’s relationship with time changes slowly, the deepest cuts carefully mending themselves until looking back doesn’t feel like getting his bones ripped apart anymore, until he looks at you on a cold day in January and realizes he’s fucked.

At first, he hopes that it might be a fluke. A trick of the light, maybe, or seasonal allergies. That’s the reason why his eyes are drawn to your face as soon as he enters a room; the closest source of discomfort always the thing he seeks out first. That’s the reason why his chest constricts like that.

But the truth is, he knows this feeling has been building slowly; he’s just been unwilling to admit it.

Something soft and delicate has started to nestle in that gaping hole inside his chest, unbothered by the walls he’s so carefully built up.

He’d never planned on you.

Fuck, if he’d known in the beginning, he might’ve …

No, he thinks. He wouldn’t have changed anything.

Because you’re too good for him, anyway, and he knows it. Smart and strong and funny and gorgeous and capable of things he’s not sure he’ll ever fully comprehend; and it’s worse than that, because he knows you now.

You’re grouchy in the mornings and you make terrible jokes when you’re nervous and you have a strange feud with his cat and your smile makes him want to put his fist through the wall because what is he supposed to do with any of this?

He’s not made for this dance anymore. That part was taken from him so long ago, and he’s delusional to think that anything or anyone could return it to him after all the bridges he’d been made to cross and burn. Why would someone like him deserve to be given tenderness anymore in this life? Why would anyone want to try?

But that foolish thing blooming inside him feels a lot like hope, despite of what he keeps telling himself.

There’s just something about you that keeps pulling him in, and honestly, he’s tired of fighting it. Then again, the thought of you feeling the same is nothing short of ridiculous.

He’s not the same guy as he used to be. Hell, sometimes he’ll look at old photographs and barely recognize himself.

He remembers life before, and maybe that’s what makes this so hard. He remembers talking to pretty girls, their bright smiles, their soft skin underneath his hands. Good times were easy to come by, even though life was hard in a different way, then. But he was good at it; acting on his feelings alone used to be simple, fun, second-nature almost.

It’s different now.

It used to be different only once before, and look where that’s gotten him.

No, he can’t say anything. Not ever; or not yet, at any rate.

Sometimes, though, Bucky lies awake at night and listens to the rain knocking against his window, and he remembers how much easier falling asleep used to be when he had someone next to him and his mattress didn’t swallow him alive.

He’ll remember the dark circles under your eyes and wish it could be as easy as asking, too. He wonders if there’s a universe you remember where he tries, but he doubts it.

These days, he knows his mind again. And it’s not a burden he wants to share.

You have enough to carry on your own.

Maybe, he thinks as he stares up at the ceiling at three in the morning, maybe there’s still a certain comfort in your powers, in knowing all the possibilities, but it also means constantly losing something that’s real; always mourning the life that isn’t.

He can relate to that.

And maybe that means you can relate to him, too, at least a little bit.

It’s odd, how comforting that last little thought is to him.

When he does eventually fall asleep, you make your way into his dreams, too, sometimes. Those times are the worst.

You’re you, and he’s him, and there’s a sort of "us" in the both of you that doesn’t exist in real life. So when you let him lace his fingers with yours and press your lips to his forehead and it feels easy, that’s usually the point when he wakes up, heart tumbling over itself, right hand tracing the ghost of your touch, always too much, never enough.

He knows it’s not real.

He knows it’s just an indulgence; selfish, really.

The problem is that whatever small hope has decided to settle in his very core is impossible to kill, no matter how much he pushes it down; and he’s not sure he wants to lose it again.

Secretly, silently, serendipitously, you make him have faith in the future again.

But it’s not time for it yet.

if you want to read more about these two (plus a lot of time related shenanigans), read the main series here. or check out the rest of my bucky fics, that's also an option 💚 i don't do tag lists but you can follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications

[intimidating-fettuccine]

This post is coming from me in my space of panic and resignation that I have been in all day, but I just. I felt the need to say anything at all.

Please do what you can to survive. This week, for the next few years, maybe forever. Please do what you can to survive. We cannot give up, we have to remain unified and continue supporting each other. That is all we can do. I don’t know what the future will look like, but we should be prepared to handle anything.

If you are like me, a female, I wish you so much support. With the rights we are about to lose, please keep yourself safe. Look into birth control if you can, especially IUDs or implants, I’ve been doing that myself. Please only surround yourself with people that you know are trustworthy. I’ve seen lots of women saying they’re going to be joining the South Korean 4B movement (not dating, having sex with, marrying, or having children with men), and honestly I encourage it. Even if you’d like to be a mother, it’s not safe anymore. If something goes wrong with your wanted pregnancy, there’s an incredibly high likelihood that you will not be able to receive care. That is a horrific reality, but it’s something we need to be aware of. If you are in a safe, loving relationship I am incredibly happy for you and I wish you the best. If you are not, or if you are single, do whatever you can to get to a safe place, please.

To any of my LGBT+ followers, please remain safe. Please, please, please be careful, with what you say, with who you talk to, with how you present yourself. I can’t even imagine how terrifying things might become, but I don’t want any of you to be ashamed, to stop being who you are. Just please be safe in how you do so. I wish you all so much luck and love because you all deserve to be free to express yourselves, to live as who you are in freedom and not be so heavily judged and prosecuted and punished. Please have safe spaces, and safe people to surround yourself with if you can. This blog will ALWAYS be a safe and inclusive space for you. I see you, and I accept you, and I support you so much. Please take care.

My support goes out to everyone who is about to be effected, because it is about to be more than just women and LGBT+ members, but I wanted to touch on those two specifically because they are the ones closest to me. I love you all. I’m sorry that this is how things turned out, but we need to keep going. We need to stay strong. We need to keep fighting and surviving because they want us to give in and we can’t do that. It might get incredibly tough next year, in the next four years or even longer, but you cannot give them the satisfaction. You have to outlive them, to prove to them that you can survive and that you deserve to be here.

I don’t particularly care if anyone thinks I’m being dramatic about this and I’m not trying to fearmonger. I don’t want anyone to be scared, but I can’t hide the fact that I’m scared. That I don’t know how things are going to look moving forward. But I care about each and every one of you.

Continue living with airport rules right now (doing whatever it takes to get to your destination of the future). He’s not in there yet. We are still safe right now. Please do what you can to prepare and to steel yourself for any outcome. But, for the next couple weeks, please just take care of yourselves. Indulge in activities you love, eat food you love, sleep as much as you can, take care of yourself as much as you can. You are not alone in this. Everyone that voted for her, we are all in this together. We cannot forget that.

I love you all so much. Please be safe. Know that you are not alone. Be strong, and be proud of what you fought for and who you are. You deserve to be here, and you deserve to be who you are.

[lunar-wandering]

so i very quickly wrote out something for that "Kokichi was the trial/prototype for the Izuru Kamukura project" AU i mentioned a few days ago. because i'm possessed. i'll probably turn this into a longer fic i'll post later, cause i definitely have more ideas, but i wanted to get this out NOW.

-

There was a kid in that room. 

For a second, Hajime froze, staring at the small figure through the door’s equally as small window. 

A purple and golden glare met his eyes. 

Hajime was being prodded in the back, the people around him drawing his attention away as they continued to lead him down the hallway. 

Still, his mind drifted back to the child, sitting in that dark room, alone. 

He hadn’t been able to see them clearly, but they hadn’t looked well. What was a kid even doing here? 

He glanced at the stone faced people around him, wondering if he should ask about it. 

He didn’t. 

~

Izuru Kamukura was led down a hallway. 

He stared resolutely at the ground. He didn’t care what was around him. 

And yet, still, his attention got drawn to a door. 

Almost as quickly as it had happened, his eyes drifted away. 

It was nothing but an empty room, after all. 

…Boring. 

~

He couldn’t remember his name. 

In the dark, he stumbled down the street, focusing only on the sidewalk in front of him. 

…He could hear voices. 

Quickly, he turned towards an alleyway- 

His leg gave out. 

He let out a muffled yelp as he slammed into the ground, scraping his hands and knees and sending a stab of searing pain up his already injured leg. Stupid fucking bullet wound…

It had only been a graze, but it still hurt. 

“Shit!” Someone yelled, and he immediately went still. Footsteps sounded, hurriedly growing closer, and despite his body’s shaking, he tried to push himself up off the ground. Movement out of the corner of his eye indicated someone kneeling down beside him. “Hey, kid, are you okay?” 

He kept his face tilted toward the ground, purple bangs covering his eyes as he gave a silent nod, hoping that his injury had not yet visibly bled through the makeshift bandages he’d made. It seemed like it hadn’t, considering neither of the people beside him had said anything about a hospital yet…

“What are you doing out here so late at night?” The person continued, “Do you have someone we can call?” 

No. No he didn’t have anyone they could call. Not that he could remember at least. 

“Hey man-” Someone else said, “Even if the kid does have someone, based on the look of ‘im, I don’t think it’d be a good idea to send ‘im back to ‘em.” 

…Yeah. He’d really rather not go back to the people he’d been with initially, thank you very much. 

He started to tune out the discussion going on above him, thinking back to the lab he’d woken up in. How long had it been since then? He couldn’t remember. He’d lost track of the days in that dark room, even when he had been perfectly keeping time. 

He barely fought back a flinch as someone gently placed their hand on his shoulder. 

“You listening, lil’ guy?” They asked, waiting until after he’d given them another nod to continue, “Would you be alright coming back to our place for the night? You can’t exactly stay out here.” 

Their place? 

…It would do no good to trust people right out the gate. He’d only just barely managed to escape from there- he didn’t think he could pull off another escape attempt from a completely different place. 

But then again, it wasn’t exactly like he had anything to lose from this. 

He gave another silent nod, and reluctantly accepted help to get up on his feet. Another stabbing pain shot up his leg, but he steadfastly ignored it. 

“Don’t worry lil’ guy, it’s not very far- just around the corner, in fact.” 

That was fortunate. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle walking for much longer. 

The walk was filled with the two people chattering beside him- occasionally trying to ask him a question that he didn’t answer, until they stood in front of a building that looked like it had used to be a fire station. 

One of them stepped forwards, turning the door handle (who leaves their door unlocked at night?), swinging the door open before turning back to him with a wide smile. 

“Welcome to DICE headquarters!” 

[roseofdarknessblog]

Uncertain tomorrows (Postwar!Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Word count: 2 410

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

Summary: You and Levi slowly start to realize that the war is finally over.

This story can be read on its own or as a part of my little post-war series: Learn to live again

Uncertain tomorrows

Suddenly, the whole world around you got so eerily quiet. As night came over Fort Salta it felt as if time had stopped. Those fortunate enough fell asleep, others were sitting or laying around, while a couple of people were still wandering outside, thinking about what happened just a couple of hours ago.

This was it.

The end.

The end you all fought so hard for.

„Stop staring at the ceiling and get some sleep,“ said a hushed male voice right next to you.

Levi was right, closing your eyes and sleeping for at least a couple of hours was the best possible thing you could do. But how were you supposed to do that? With everything that happened, your eyes were filled with tears every other moment. And even though you never let them roll down your cheeks, it felt as if you had cried your whole soul out at least a hundred million times.

„Not that you should be doing anything else...“ you mumbled quietly and rolled onto your left side to look at him.

All the airship hangars were empty now. Well, not entirely. They served as a good place for all of you, the Marleyans, and all the refugees from Liberio to spend the night in. Nobody knew what would follow and many people didn’t even dare to ask. They were happy with the fact that they survived the end of the world. For many, that was more than enough for the next couple of hours and maybe even days.

To be honest, it was enough for you as well. All that mattered, was that you and Levi were still together. With so many memories running through your mind, the fact that he was still alive was the most important one.

„Are you still in pain?“ you asked and reached your hand over to him, brushing a few strands of hair from his forehead. His right eye was still bandaged and the left one was closed. He was trying his best to get some much-needed rest. Even though he fought just like during old times, shortly after it was over the pain caught up to him. When all the adrenaline was gone, he wasn’t even able to stand up on his own or talk through the pain his whole body was in. „I could go find that Marleyan medic and ask for more painkillers.“ He shook his head and slowly turned it to the side to look at you in the darkness.

You were more than grateful when the man, your enemy not too long ago, took care of Levi’s injuries. He did his best with the little he had on hand and you were sure that you would never forget that. It was better than nothing, even though you still worried about Levi a great deal.

Getting him to a proper doctor or even to a hospital was something you knew that needed to be done soon. But how? How would you do that? Where would you go? There was... simply nothing. Just deserted rocky terrains or scorched empty fields of land. The only civilization was the people around you – the Scouts, the Eldians from Liberio, and the members of the Marleyan military.

„How’s your leg doing?“ you dared to ask in a whisper, not wanting other people in the hangar to hear you.

„Cutting it off would hurt less,“ he hissed through gritted teeth, closing his only healthy eye once again.

You knew that he was coughing up blood earlier during the fight. And when you asked him about it, he scoffed and said that it was only because he accidentally bit into his lower lip and tongue during the fight, so he had to spit out the blood from his mouth. You didn’t believe him even a little bit and kept a very close eye on him but... that was truly the only thing you could do. Besides praying to every possible god in the universe that he would pull through like every time.

„You sure you don’t want those painkillers?“

When he didn’t respond, you were left alone with your torturous thoughts once again. And slowly, it was more than you were able to take.

All of you killed Eren and saved the little that was left of the world and its population, you lost people along the way and you were also turned into a Titan. You fought against the Rumbling, against all the previous nine titans... against the boy, who years ago came into the Scouting legion with a dream of eradicating all titans.

And even if that dream of his was fulfilled in a very gruesome and twisted kind of way... well... it did happen in the end. All the titan powers were gone once and for all. Or at least that was what you were hoping for.

After a couple of minutes of silence, Levi spoke again. „Aren’t you going to ask that question?“

„What question?“ you asked a little confused and found Levi’s hand in the darkness under the blanket. Only then you realized that his hand, and probably the other one too, was tightly curled into a fist.

„About what’s going to happen now. Tomorrow, in a week, month...“

„No, I’m not. I don’t have the strength or brain capacity to think about that. Not now, maybe later.“

Maybe after the realization, that everything really came to an end will set in. But until then, you felt like you’d stay stuck in some kind of bubble, where the past, present, and future were mixed together, creating a portrait full of sorrow and uncertainty.

A shiver, that ran down your back, made you move a little closer to Levi and hold his hand a little tighter. You very gently interlocked your fingers and moved your head, so your forehead was resting against his shoulder.

„Are you worried about cuddling up to me properly?“ he asked, the remaining fingers of his injured hand running through your messy hair.

„I don’t want to hurt you, that’s all. You’re hurting all over.“

„That doesn’t mean I don’t want to feel you as close as possible,“ he whispered and rolled onto his side with a painful sigh you’ve never heard from him before.

All everybody had were a couple of blankets or coats from the military or the Eldian refugees, but it had to be enough. It was still better than lying on the ground itself. Another positive thing was, that the night wasn’t too cold. So laying there, in a dark corner of one of the hangars was more than bearable. The only truly important thing was the man lying there beside you, whose warmth was reassuring and calming. Just like during old times, when you were still living in the Underground together.

„It doesn’t seem real,“ you whispered and wrapped your arm around Levi carefully, resting your foreheads together. When the tips of your noses touched gently, you smiled a little and kissed his lips lightly. „We were fighting for so long and it’s done now. We don’t need to do it anymore, there’s no war to win now, we did it. All of us... together.“

„Almost all of us...“ Levi corrected you almost inaudibly and brushed his lips against yours again. It was such a gentle movement but so full of love.

„I still remember the day you, Isabel, and Furlan left the Underground and the day you came back for me. I remember my first days spent in the sunlight, how it pained my eyes, and how sunburnt I got all over my face during the very first training.“

„Shitty glasses gave you that awfully smelling cream.“

You chuckled and gently caressed the back of his neck, letting your fingers slide into his hair. It had grown a fair bit over the month he spent in the forest with Zeke. „But it did help a whole lot, don’t forget. My skin was okay in two days.“

„Yeah...“

Losing Hange was something that scarred both of your hearts. They were with you since day one and suddenly... suddenly they were not. It wasn’t easy to process, even after everything that happened since then. You still saw them right there before your eyes when you closed them and you couldn’t believe you’ll never hear their cheerful voice again.

But then again, the same feelings tortured you when it came to many other people. Your heart hurt for Sasha, Erwin, Moblit, Miche, Nanaba, Isabel, Furlan, Petra, members of your own squad, and many more. It hurt just as much, as Eren’s death. Because until the very end, you believed that there was a way to bring him back from the path he chose to walk down. You believed Armin and Mikasa, Jean and Connie, who never wanted to give up on their friend, would talk sense into him. You hoped... so damnd much... that it wasn’t late for him to turn back.

But eventually... you simply had to face the fact, that not all things can be undone and not all people can be saved.

Thinking about all of your fallen friends and comrades made you stay quiet again. While Levi was absentmindedly playing with a strand of your hair, you were running your hand up and down his back comfortingly. He never felt this fragile in your arms and that put tears in your eyes again. 

With your foreheads still pressed together, you could feel his warm breath on your face when he talked. „You’ll finally have the chance to wear those pretty flower dresses you always liked so much.“ His lips met yours in a loving kiss.

You nodded with a smile, stroking his cheek. „That will be nice for a change. No more uniforms or ODM gears, no more training...“

Eventually, you would miss all of that, you were sure. After all, military life was all you knew for almost fifteen years. But a little change sounded more than welcoming. Having the chance to finally live a different life. A happy and safe one. A life where you and live could be just... well, Y/N and Levi. Two ordinary people – best friends and lovers, not soldiers.

„Years back, when I was badly injured after the encounter with the Female titan... you promised me that if I pull through, we’ll get married,“ you whispered into his ear, brushing your lips over his cheek. „And then things got crazy with Eren and... we haven’t really had the time ever since.“

„Maybe now...“ he said, trying to pull you even closer to his body. He never had a problem doing it until now. So it had to be you, who scooted closer and found a way to lay comfortable again, while your own body was hurting and bruised from all the fighting. „We can finally do whatever the hell we want.“

„All the stupid things we never got to try,“ you chuckled, wrapping him in a loving hug.

„We can mourn all we want and then just move on.“ His voice was getting quieter, while you could finally feel his body relaxing against yours.

„Get lost in all the grief and pain, all the heartbreak and then... we’ll wake up one morning and not feel it ever again. Or at least not that much.“ Your fingers once again found their way into his silky black hair, stroking and massaging his scalp very gently. „We’ll have the life all of them dreamed about. And we’ll live. For them and for us.“

Both of you could hear your voice breaking, while tears eventually rolled down your cheeks. And it felt so damn good to finally let yourself cry and grieve. It was a way to ease the pain that was pounding through your entire body.

„We’ll figure something out, we have the rest of our lives to do that,“ you added in a reassuring tone, kissing the top of Levi’s head.

He really wasn’t in the mood for talking or dreaming about the future. And that was perfectly fine. Even you weren’t in the mood, to be honest. You tried to do it only to keep your mind occupied and not to let it wander to the worst places.

Hours were slowly passing you by in complete silence. Levi was resting in your arms, avoiding even the slightest movement to not feel any more pain. Even with your eyes closed, you couldn’t even think about falling asleep. Fear didn’t let you do it. So instead, you kept a watch over Levi. In the silence of the night, you focused on his calm breathing until morning came around. He finally fell asleep just a few minutes before sunrise.

Soon after, Jean came to check up on the two of you. He looked just as exhausted as you were feeling, so he probably didn’t get any sleep either. You assured him that everything was okay and that if anything came up, you would come and find him or the others.

„Was it all just a dream?“ Levi asked in a whisper maybe an hour later, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You could hear voices from outside, people were starting to wake up and move around once again.

„No, it wasn’t. It’s over and we made it out alive.“

Levi nodded slightly, pressing his lips to your neck and tightening his grip around you. When you closed your eyes at that moment, all the events of the past years seemed unreal. Suddenly, you felt like a kid once again. A small girl growing up under the Capital, who was only dreaming about living up on the surface in the sunlight.

„We came so far, Levi, and made all of them proud, I’m sure about that. Today, we got the chance to wake up into a world they all helped to create... for us.“

„And we’ll honor them by living the best life we possibly can,“ he added and looked up at you. With tears in the corners of your eyes, you pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead and hugged him even tighter so as to never let him go anywhere without you.

Yesterday, you all left your past lives behind and today all of you woke up to a brand new beginning. With so much pain and sadness in your hearts, you got the chance to look into the future and be present for a fresh new start humanity needed so much.

[iz-star]

My thoughts and guesses / theories about Zayne's upcoming main story branch.

Like I've said in previous posts, I've been hella busy with work and most of all, exhausted so I haven't been able to come here and scream about the game updates (let alone draw something) but I still want to summarize my reactions from the past few days.

About the main story update, I'm really excited to see what's going to happen! I love the Dawnbreaker references but I have to be honest, I don't really think this is Dawnbreaker, he's still Dr Zayne (they both are part of each other somehow, but you understand what I mean).

Here's why:

At first, I genuinely thought this time we really would get the chance to interact with Dawnbreaker since Zayne is wearing DB's outfit and not a jumpscare outfit like in Snowy Serenity but the more I watched the trailer, the more I realized that this is still Dr Zayne which both makes me feel alleviated (cause if it were to be Dawnbreaker, it would leave us wondering where Dr Zayne is) and scared cause if he gets to suffer/ sacrifice himself in this time line like he did as Foreseer and MoF, I don't know well how I'll handle it.

He's a male lead so I don't think they will kill him off (? but somehow with Zayne one never knows, he's honestly always surprising us. In any case, my wildest theory is that if something happens to Dr Zayne, then we'll continue his branch with Dawnbreaker... idk? Anyway, don't really pay too much attention to this since it's most unlikely that something like this happens.

The impression I got after watching the trailer so many times is that this is actually Dr Zayne in the process of becoming 'Dawnbreaker' (maybe not exactly his other self but the concept) which has been one of his biggest fears; the reason? Because the Xander Sciences experiments, the severe cases of Protocore Syndrome and Metaflux anomalies are probably speeding the process of humanity to get doomed since in Dawnbreaker's world, humans turning into wanderers is something pretty recurrent and the very reason Zayne is a killer and his world is apocalyptic. Dr Zayne knows of this, he knows using protocores in human hearts is dangerous (the very reason he gave up his research in university), he also knows that to be exposed to big quantities of metaflux is what turns humans into Wanderers, he knows it because when he and William fought side by side in Mt Eternal, it was in order to destroy a Protofield that got out of hand and the Metaflux anomalies there were bringing to land more Wanderers. It was until they destroyed the protofield when William started to turn into an Abomination and then, a Wanderer.

In the trailer, Dr Zayne says something like 'We have no choice but to destroy this place" so my guess is that there is another big Metaflux anomaly like in Mt Eternal but this time in a place where there is a lot of ppl and due to being exposed to it, they're turning into Wanderers, something that Zayne as a Doctor can't cure: "Aren't you a Doctor. You should've save me!"

In fact, this is something he can only cure as Dawnbreaker:

I'm really interested to know who was the guy who asked Zayne to kill him. My guesses are:

William (and this probably a flashback).

Carter

Greyson (most unlikely since the voice didn't mach but goshh could you imagine the angst if it was him??)

So if there is another Metaflux anomaly it means that there's a Protofield that got out of hand and it probably was in either Akso Hospital or Xander Sciences company cause they had a special patient that accoring to what they say in the trailer, had a fragil heart that would've stopped long ago.

If I'm not mistaken (and since I'm currently sleepy and feeling lazy) in the World Underneath anecdotes Carter and Xander Sciences tried to keep some patients alive or to revive them using protocores and keeping him in pods but it didn't work? However, long before these anecdotes were released, we knew that there were already organizations doing research about immortality:

It seems that 'A special energy field' is necesary in order to reach better conditions to regenerate the human heart. What if this 'special energy field' is something similar to a Protofield? If we remember correctly, in both Rafayel and Xavier's myths MC's heart was necessary for them to live immortal lifes? In Rafayel's case, she seemed to give ppl some kind of energy? But at the same time she couldn't leave their city neither. In Xavier's case, her heart was like an unending source of energy for Philos core and they wanted to feed Philos core with her so they would stop to sending humans and then Philos core would stop crearing wanderers.

In both cases, it seems that MC is the source of energy of a Protofield that both gives it enough quantities of energy to keep it balanced and making ppl within this field to be immortal (like her) without the risk of becoming wanderers. In Rafayel's myth, she was already the source of this field, so there are actually no wanderers in this myth. In Xavier's myth, she wasn't the source of it so they were creating wanderers bc of it.

What if in this case, Xander Sciences discovers that the key to reach immortality lies in creating a Protofield with enough energy to create the needed conditions to regenerate human hearts for indefinite amount of time and that the KEY to achieve this lies in MC's aether core??

What if what Zayne is trying to protect here is MC's heart so they won't use her to reach immortality, EVEN if he knows that this most likely will avoid tons of deaths and will stop the creation of wanderers and ALSO will avoid his future as Dawnbreaker but even so he chooses to save her, just like he did as Foreseer and Master of Fate.

And lastly, he mentions "When that day comes... When I can't wake up" my only guesses are:

His nightmare of becoming "The Grim Reaper" will become true.

By destroying the Protofield that is creating the anomaly, he also freezes himself?

Maybe he steals part of MC's power or even he takes the creatio protocore he gave to her as Foreseer and uses it on himself so instead of using her as the source of energy for this Protofield, he offers himself as this unending source of energy? (This one is quite wild and seems unlikely to happen but I still wanted to mention it ahaha).

Anyway these are all my thoughts for now. Please take this with a grain of salt, since these are only silly theories and nothing official. We'll have to wait some days more to discover the truth.

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

Pleaaaaaase give me and all of us ALL the lore I would love it 🥹

Yay!!! Let me try and go in order of events?

Actual essay below the cut

Lilith! So, in this universe, there is obviously no deal with Xaden to keep Vi "safe" in the rider's quadrant, but Lilith sends her anyway because she still thinks Vi will be safer in the quadrant than in the scribes, venin-wise. Because of this (in the quadrant with no Xaden) a few things happen! Vi's generally MORE aware of the venin adjacent issues, she's less confident with her lightning, and when it becomes clear to Lilith that Col. Aetos is after Violet, she knows she has to figure something new out.

The storm! The storm is Lilith's doing. @k2jk and I chatted about this briefly, and they summed it up pretty well in that Lilith starts the storm to try and delay Vi from reaching Athebyne entirely, but when that fails, she adapts and overcomes (if you will) and decides to use the storm to keep Vi in the cave with Xaden. Obviously, she doesn't have the deal in this universe, but she knows Xaden, at the very least, cares about the venin problem, as she suspects Vi will too. Also, Vi had THREE dragons, so she was fine, battle-wise. I think in canon Lilith is out of town (LOL) when war games happen, but in this specific universe where (again) Vi doesn't have X looking out for her, I think Lilith would be a lot more hands-on (in her very Lilith way). Also, Lilith clearly has a thing with like, storms at times other people would not want a storm. Seems her love language is just ruining people's day!

Xaddy! So Em and I (@maethologies) captured the Xaden lore in this as instead of being a child of divorce as he is in canon, he is instead a child of PLEASE get a divorce!! I don't know what the math is precisely, but canonically, Fen Riorson had to have been pretty young when he had Xaden, because Sgaeyl is AROUND fifty, I believe. This led me to conclude that his mom would be pretty young too? So there's that part of things, and then add in the fact that their marriage/betrothal/sex pact was contractual and not out of love, and that Fen HAD to be a pretty hard core guy in regards to his commitment to the revolution, and I think we have a nice recipe for some issues! Amy @skyfallscotland's original prompt was that either the Tyrrish Rebellion never happened, or it happened differently, and I decided to take the happened differently route of things. And when considering how things could have happened differently, my first thought for a variable we actually know about was Xaden's mom. So, I made her Poromish (which I think she is, I just think she's hiding in the Isles in canon). Basically, the idea there is that she left when he was ten, but she did come back, and she was pretty in and out of his life. She's not queen, because his parents aren't married (afaik) but she's...around? sometimes? But, her presence in Tyrrendor was able to get Poromiel to throw some extra troops/weapons/money/ whatever who knows at the Rebellion, which helped the Rebellion win. Another thing Em and I talk about that is relevant to this fic is that we both see Fen/unnamed woman who is Xaden's mom as a mirror of xaden/cat, or what xaden/cat would have become, sans Vi. To ME, this means they were pretty toxic, fought a lot in front of Xaden, general manipulation what have you. If we ever get Xaden's mother's first name I will probably succumb to my demons and write a full prequel fic, but that day is not today!

Xaddy part 2! I said this elsewhere, but Xaden's gryphon gift is basically his second signet! That's how he cheats at rock paper scissors (what a guy!!) and that's how he repeatedly reads her mind throughout the fic. Vi doesn't seem to know about gryphon fliers having mind work gifts in canon until X tells her, so I assumed she wouldn't know. Also, like, of course he bonds Sgaeyl eventually. Of course. Not to @ Amy twice in one post, but I think of it as VERY similar to Keep Quiet in that it's like, we know this guy. We know his destiny. We Know. So yes, he bonds Sgaeyl EVENTUALLY, but not on page. I have an idea, actually, but I don't want anyone else asking me to write a continuation of this AU, so I don't want to say it publicly just yet, LOL.

I think that 's it for now? If there's anything else lore-wise anyone else was wondering about, feel free to ask!!

[aethuviel]

A comprehensive study of the Ancient Snow Elves

By Eltirions

(Picture added by myself)

Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/1foensm/a_comprehensive_study_of_the_ancient_snow_elves/

Greetings! Almost two years ago I wrote a theory in this post pondering on the connections between the dragons you fight in the Forgotten Vale and the Snow Elves who lived there. Since then I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about and researching the Snow Elves, crafting theories to fit their existence into the wider history of Tamriel. The end result is this: a collection of all the relevant knowledge I could find about these mysterious Mer and my thoughts and hypotheses about them.

So, first off I’ll quickly summarise the basic facts we know about the Snow Elves:

Their civilisation existed in and around Skyrim from somewhen in the Merethic Era to the early First Era.

They fought with the Atmorans and early Nords, eventually being defeated and almost completely exterminated by them, with the survivors either seeking shelter with the Dwemer (and turning into the modern-day Falmer) or hiding away in secret places like the Chantry of Auri-El.

The Atmorans/Nords destroyed all traces of their civilisation, to the point that we only have two confirmed sites of Snow Elf habitation remaining.

By the time of 4E 201, we only know of two Snow Elves who are still alive: Knight-Paladin Gelebor and his brother Arch-Curate Vyrthur.

What does this tell us? Not a lot. But, thankfully, we have some more information, most of which comes from conversation with the aforementioned Knight-Paladin Gelebor during Dawnguard’s main questline, where we also visit the Chantry of Auri-El and kill Arch-Curate Vyrthur. 

Gelebor is a treasure trove of information on the Snow Elves. He tells us that the Chantry he guards was built in the early First Era, that it was the greatest centre of religion for his people and that Auri-El was their chief god, while Trinimac, Syrabane, Phynaster and Jephre had smaller chantries. He calls the Snow Elf civilisation an empire, but also mentions that they only ruled a portion of Skyrim. He mentions uneasy alliances with the Dwemer and tells us that there were Snow Elves who resisted the Dwemer’s deal, but they all ended up dead, disappeared or ultimately gave in. When you meet him again after killing his brother and fighting your way through the Forgotten Vale, he mentions that he still holds out hope for hidden enclaves of his kind and that he believes the Falmer may one day become something like they once were.

This is all valuable information, and the Dawnguard DLC offers us much more. It gives us a look at Snow Elf architecture, religion and armour within the Forgotten Vale, and there are also four books added by the DLC that are records written by Snow Elves of the early First Era, which have to be decoded from their alphabet and language (more on that later). These books give us the term Ice Elves as another name for the Snow Elves, mention ‘Old Ones’ and ‘Young Ones’, it gives us an example of a method they used to reckon time, and gave us a description of what the pilgrimage through the Chantry of Auri-El was like.

Finally, let’s look at Arch-Curate Vyrthur. He was the leader of the Chantry of Auri-El, and he claims to have been able to commune with his god. This ultimately didn’t avail him from vampirism however, hence why he created the Tyranny of the Sun prophecy to defeat Auri-El. This is important: the Sun is typically ascribed to Magnus and has little to nothing to do with Auri-El (or indeed, any of Akatosh’s other aspects, as far as I know) but Snow Elf religion seems to create a connection between Auri-El and the Sun. This makes it unique amidst Tamrielic religions.

All of this information allows us to create a more complete view of the Snow Elves. Their religion has clear overlaps with Altmeri belief, but also strange differences. Their culture is also clearly divergent from the Aldmer to the point that they created their own language and alphabet, and their architecture is unique, though similar to Ayleid and older Altmer/Aldmer architecture. 

But we still don’t know many important things. Allow me to present answers, or theories, to a few of them.

When did the Snow Elf culture begin?

The Aldmer began colonising Tamriel in the middle Merethic Era. While hard dates don’t exist, I think we can estimate that the creation of Snow Elf culture happened around that time, corresponding roughly with the rise of the Ayleids in Cyrodiil. We can’t say anything conclusive without more evidence.

Where did the Snow Elves live?

Gelebor says they ruled a portion of Skyrim. Aside from the Forgotten Vale, with its entrance located in the northern Reach and the Vale itself found in the mountains between northwestern Skyrim and western High Rock, we know of one other pre-Dwemer Snow Elf settlement site: in ESO, we can visit Snow Elf ruins located under Fort Greenwall in the Rift. Skorm Snow-Strider’s Journal, found in Forelhost in Skyrim and dating to 1E 139, also mentions King Harald fighting Snow Elves around Lake Honnith (an older name for Lake Honrich, the lake Riften lies on) and the eastern Rift. Finally, though they aren’t settlement sites, we know that the Snow Elves’ last true battle was fought on Solstheim in the Moesring Mountains, indicating that they had some settlement there (although no Falmer are found anywhere on Solstheim during Skyrim or Bloodmoon); and that according to the book Songs of the Return, Vol 7, the entirety of the Whiterun plain was uninhabited by the Snow Elves due to fear of the Skyforge, which predates Elven settlement in Skyrim. It also mentions that when the Companions went south from Saarthal, they found many Elves who they all slew, indicating settlement through Winterhold and Eastmarch. 

Put on a map, this forms a very strangely-shaped realm, though perhaps not if we consider that the Snow Elves seem to prefer colder climates. I would theorise that they inhabited the northern part of the country, including the northern parts of the Reach (and perhaps westwards into High Rock as well), Haafingar, Hjaalmarch, the Pale, Winterhold (minus Saarthal, naturally), down to Eastmarch and the Rift, and of course the island of Solstheim, though it was apparently shared with the Nords (perhaps the ancestors of the Skaal). This would leave Whiterun empty and the rest of the Reach and Falkreath open to others, perhaps Nedes and Orcs. An interesting note is that neither Falkreath nor Whiterun contain any Dwemer ruins either.

Who ruled the Snow Elves?

It’s hard to say. The Snow Prince, famous for being so good at killing Nords they gave him an honourable burial, is the best example of a race-wide leader we have, and Gelebor explicitly calls their civilisation an empire. The Snow Prince himself was widely recognised as the last hope for his race by the time of the Battle of the Moesring, so perhaps he was the descendant of a line of rulers. We can’t say much else. We do know, from antiquities found in ESO, that he had a throne.

Speaking of ESO, I already mentioned the ruins under Fort Greenwall, but ESO has several other pieces of content related to the Snow Elves. During the quest The Rise of Sage Svari we see a flashback where several Snow Elf warriors attack the sons of Ysgramor; these are ghosts, however, and are identical to High Elves, using High Elf gear and models. We can also find two other antiquities (a system of archaeology added by the Greymoor Chapter DLC), namely the Font of Auri-El, a shrine-like house furnishing that is described as distinct from the architecture of other Mer; and the Snow Treaders, a pair of enchanted and masterfully crafted boots. The Antiquarian Circle’s notes on the parts needed to create the latter item confirm that Auri-El occupied a special place in Snow Elf religion, that the Snow Elves had some collaboration with the Dwemer and were skilled craftsmen themselves, that they bred a type of tree called a snow-cedar and used its wood as a crafting material, and that they also used animal products such as snowy sabre cat fur in their clothes. It’s not much, but it is interesting nonetheless.

Let’s get back to some theorising, hm? I already mentioned that the Snow Elves’ pantheon featured Auri-El as chief of the pantheon, though with an unique focus on the Sun; their other gods we know of for certain are Trinimac (who likely served as the patron of the Paladins Gelebor is a part of), Syrabane, Phynaster and Jephre. This is interesting for a couple of reasons. Auri-El and Trinimac are staples of virtually all Elven pantheons, but Syrabane and Phynaster are continually referred to as Altmer, who were raised to godhood after their lives. In Syrabane’s case especially, he shows up around 1E 2200, far beyond the early First Era when the chantries were supposedly built. Phynaster is a traveller god and not officially considered a member of the Altmeri pantheon. Other members of the Altmeri pantheon such as Magnus, Mara, Stendarr, Xarxes and Anu(iel) go unmentioned. Ignoring this strangeness (perhaps Syrabane is much older than we know; he is known as an extremely skilled mage, after all), we see that the Snow Elf pantheon is unique. 

We can see from the wayshrines of the Forgotten Vale that the Snow Elves were skilled mages which would explain Syrabane’s presence (but makes Magnus’ absence all the more strange). Phynaster is a wayfarer god who also taught Altmer to lengthen their lives; this connects well with Gelebor, who is one of the oldest living individuals in the setting that is not a vampire or a lich. Perhaps the first Snow Elves were devotees of Phynaster and further developed his techniques for long lifespans. Finally, there is Jephre, better known as Y’ffre elsewhere in Tamriel. He is the god of nature, and Snow Elf reverence for him is presumably based in the beauty of Skyrim’s nature. 

If we look at the Chantry of Auri-El, we see that those who wished to enter the Chantry to seek enlightenment had to go on a pilgrimage, carrying an ewer of water which they would gradually fill as they passed by several wayshrines on their way to the Chantry itself. This process is described as arduous, and many were known to fail, which was considered disgraceful, while those who succeeded were rewarded with some form of enlightenment. The Chantry is one of the most impressive religious buildings seen across all the games, and Gelebor claims it was the greatest of the ones the Snow Elves built. And it was built in the First Era, after Ysgramor had returned and begun his extermination war on the Snow Elves. Snow Elf society must have been truly dedicated to religion to complete such a structure in a time of war and strife. And yet, while it is a grand structure, I wouldn’t call it ostentatious. The Chantry is beautiful, sure, but it isn’t richly decorated (except for the gold everywhere) and everything seems more built for function than for aesthetics.

All of this evidence leads me to believe that the beginning of the Snow Elves as a group distinct from other Mer lies in their spirituality: they came to Skyrim in order to distance themselves from the affairs of other Mer. They gave primacy to several gods of the Altmeri pantheon, namely Phynaster (who, as a god of travellers, wayfarers and pilgrims, would have appealed to them), Jephre, Syrabane (who I still can’t explain properly), Trinimac and Auri-El, who they gave Magnus’ connection with the Sun as well. They focused very much on enlightenment, perhaps to ascend in a similar manner as the Altmer seek to. This focus on spirituality would also explain why, despite being described as a great civilisation, the Snow Elves were so thoroughly defeated by the Atmorans/Nords.

Phew. Now that I’ve touched on all of that, I want to muse on a few things before the end. One of these is the original topic of my post about the Forgotten Vale: what is the connection between the Dragons and the Snow Elves? Mind you that the entirety of Alduin’s rule over Skyrim, including the Dragon War, happens between the Night of Tears and the fall of the Forgotten Vale. The connections between dragons and Akatosh is obvious, but it doesn’t seem to feature at all in Snow Elf (or indeed any Mer) religion - with one possible exception of a dragon's head being depicted on the chest piece of the Ancient Falmer armour, but I think that's a stretch. As I mentioned in my Forgotten Vale post, there’s a strong possibility that the Snow Elves of the Chantry had a good relationship with the dragons slumbering in the lake there (especially after the Dragon War, when both were being hunted by the Nords) and that their presence explains how the Forgotten Vale remained safe. While I touched on it in the post, I now think that Vyrthur (who, it stands to reason, could communicate properly with the dragons thanks to his connection to Auri-El) purposefully kept the dragons (who were sleeping at the time) from waking up, which might also explain why the lake is frozen over; we see in the Chantry that Vyrthur is a skilled frost mage. The dragons only awaken when the player comes by because they sense a fellow dragon soul. But I digress.

Another thing to consider is the Night of Tears. It’s commonly speculated that the true reason for the Snow Elf assault on Saarthal was that they knew the Atmorans had found the Eye of Magnus and feared its power; this gains new meaning when we realise that Magnus himself receives no mention in Snow Elf religion, whilst they are undoubtedly a people of great magical skill. When we consider that the Snow Elves considered the Sun to be Auri-El’s gateway to Nirn, and that they possessed both his Bow and Shield, one has to wonder what would have happened had they obtained the Eye and used the Bow on it. 

A final curiosity is the Great Statue of Irkngthand, which you might remember from the second-to-last Thieves Guild quest in Skyrim. It’s a magnificent statue built in secret by the Snow Elves after being enslaved by the Dwemer, so it seems that even while enslaved and (partially) blinded they were capable of creating great works. Most interesting.

I think that, for now, I’ve covered everything I could find on the Snow Elves. I’ve not worked in theories about the Ice Tribes of TES Travels: Dawnstar’s connection to the Snow Elves or mentions of Arena’s Laintar Dale settlement being built on top of a Snow Elf settlement, due to the dubious canonicity of either source. I’ve also passed on mentioning the Falmer as we know and love them, perhaps I’ll reserve that for a future post (just who or what is Xrib, hm?). 

If I’ve missed anything of relevance, please do let me know: I’ll happily talk about it or add it to the post. And I do apologise if this document is a bit of a mess; I’ve done my best to make it somehow cohesive, but it was all written in one burst of inspiration and my mind wanders a lot when writing. All that said, please let me know what you think, and maybe in two years I’ll have another post talking about the mysterious Snow Elves.