#I finally created a proper post introducing myself (?

[nymphapunkcake]

I have been bitten by a magic-radioactive spider and for the past 3 and a half years I've been the one and only...

𝒮𝓅𝒾𝒹𝑒𝓇 - 𝒩𝓎𝓂𝓅𝒽

ʙᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴇʟғɪᴇ.

*•.¸♡

I'm 25 years old and I'm a artist-designer (and other stuff) from Argentina. Although Elfie is the name of my spidersona, my idea right now is to almost merge with her here on Tumblr (she's basically me lol) My content however is multifandom and about things that interest me. From time to time I upload some pics of myself and photos that I like to take of the places I visit or write my thoughts.

Regarding the 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 content (plus exclusive Spider Nymph content) you can enjoy stuff like memes, drawings, short-stories and whatever the hell comes to my head.

And a lot, A LOT of Hobie Brown. Wich btw, I ship myself with him.

If you've read this far, thank you baby ♡ have a cup of tea🍵

✿.｡.:* ☆:**:. 𝕀 𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕚𝕟 .:**:.☆*.:｡.✿

[iammeiamwe]

So, finally, the continuation of this post here.

The first thing I want to say is that I was pleasantly surprised at how many people actually liked the previous post and wanted to see more - so thanks so much to all of you, I've never thought that so many people would be interested in me talking about the design and my country's culture🩷 (and yeah thank you @signanothername for your kind words again)

I'm sorry this post took so long, but I actually struggled a lot with Nightmare design. Everything just felt wrong for some reason and I literally couldn't finish it. I even took a break at some point, and it actually worked in a surprising way.

You see, I like the Dream design I made previously. But I always felt like something was missing. The design was beautiful, and the different ornaments actually had meaning that fit Dream well, but it was lacking... a story? Like, it wasn't completely accurate, and I could really imagine a person looking like that living somewhere in the ancient Russia, walking in the streets. It was a good representation of different russian cultural elements, but that was the only thing that it was really.

So instead of thinking what russian culture elements can I include in a design I started thinking about a completely different thing.

Can I possibly imagine the dreamtale brothers in the setting of Russia in the past? What would they look like? How would they live? Can I somehow "adapt" their powers and turn them into something more related to the russian culture of that time?

And well, I made a completely different concept with completely different designs.

Now, I wanna say that this post still contains an enormous amount of text, but know it's not only about the russian culture, but mostly about the kinda au that I made? It's still in the development, I'm still thinking about the details, I mean, I haven't even got a proper name for it yet... But I just haad to write about my thoughts and share some artwork that I did so here we are.

The whole thing is inspired not only by the russian culture, but also by the Black Book game which I mentioned in the 1st part and which gave me a general direction of where to go with this.

So, the setting is somewhere around the 19th century, in a quite ordinary russian village. Both Dream and Nightmare are children from a family of villagers. Here are some examples of 19th century russian villagers clothing that I took inspiration from:

At first it looks quite simple, but it has some interesting small details and looks quite unique:)

One of the reasons I chose 19th century is that despite being quite a "modern" time, with different new technologies and overall progress it was a time when many russians (especially in villages) still believed in different myths, sayings, tales and epics. Russian culture and mythology still played a big role in ordinary people's lives, changing and transforming through the minds of different people to better fit the ever changing reality and new technologies being introduced. Russian paganism, orthodoxy and local beliefs finally began to coexist organically with each other, in some ways even blending in together creating some unique traditions, customs and overall culture.

So now, about their magic.

One of the questions I asked myself was: What kind of magic would Dream and Nightmare wield if they lived in the traditional old russian village settings? Was there even a concept of "magic" in old Russia that could be suitable for the brothers?

And while I can't say that I've found a perfect alternative, and what I'm about to tell you might seem not fitting at all at first, I think the concept I'm about to show and especially the idea it can convey is not that far from the whole "positive and negative emotions" thing.

So, as it turns out, the concept of magic or paranormal abilities in old Russia is quite unique and different. There actually were people who were considered "magicians", or rather witches and withchers, but. The whole idea of magic itself was tightly connected with different mystical creatures that inhabited the whole country in minds of russians (and there were many. like MANY) and the ability of a person to talk with them, connect with them, correctly perform various rituals related to them and basically ask them to do certain things.

In other words, a witch or a witcher in old Russia is not a person inhabiting magical powers all by themselves, but a person who can "deal" with spirits and mystical beings of different kinds, ask them to do the magician's biddings or help them in a way needed.

And let me tell you, there are many different types of beings, creatures and spirits in russian culture, all of them fulfilling their own purposes. There aare the classical spirits of the forests, of the rivers and lakes, but we also have creatures living in people's houses (spirits that look after the well-being of the house), beings living in every banya (a small russian bathhouse located near the house), spirits of field, arable land, sowing season, winds (northern and southern separately) and many more. And don't get me started on the evil spirits and different types of demons like bisi and chorts, that's a whole another category.

What I've noticed is that the different beings of russian mythology are mostly either the ones connected with nature, like keepers and protectors of forests, lakes and etc, or the so called "evil spirits", different types of demons and devils or other beings that are overall considered dangerous, which are often portrayed to have connection with human routine and different temptations and sins.

And well, here comes my idea and the whole concept. What if Dream had the power and natural talent for connecting with the different spirits and beings of nature, while Nightmare had the natural talent for connecting with the so-called "evil spirits".

Maybe you already think it's fitting, but wait, there's more. You know, I (and probably many others) always thought of positive and negative emotions as a neutral concept. Emotions aren't bad or good themselves and both types can lead to good or bad things depending on the situation and the person who is experiencing those emotions. Guess what? (And I was surprised too when I found out during my research!)

There IS a similar concept with the russian mystical creatures and magic wielders. While people who can connect with "evil spirits" were quite often viewed in a more negative light (like the situation with negative apples and Nightmare), those people could (and actually did) use their abilities and knowledge for good purposes! Of course there were people who used such abilities for their own gain and evil deeds (especially when there was always a threat of being tempted and corrupted by the forces such people were working with). But there were other uses for such powers, people like that could help and save people from the evil spirits, tell them what to do to avoid getting "on the bad side" of dangerous beings, cure people from different illnesses and being possessed by demons, etc. For example, while it was partially done out of fear of a witcher rage and revenge, people used to invite people who had connections "with the darker powers" on their weddings so that they can protect the important event from different kinds of dangerous beings and spirits, to protect newlyweds from various misfortunes in their future life together. Even shepherds were believed to have connections with different kinds of low rank demons, and used them to watch over the herd, prevent other evil beings from stealing the animals.

On the other hand, the practice of talking to and performing various rituals involving spirits of nature was viewed more positively, since it was mostly used to please such beings and ask them for a good harvest, catch off fish, successful hunting, safety during travels and etc. But such powers could also be used with evil goals. Such people could easily affect the weather, cause different natural phenomenon and even poor harvest and famine.

So, we have a situation where there are two types of powers that are overall kind of similar, are actually completely neutral by themselves, can both be used for both good and bad and completely depend on the user, but one power is mostly viewed positively while the other is considered to be rather dangerous and evil. Yeah, I feel like I've seen that somewhere.

Now, let's talk about Nightmare and Dream separately (and the children designs I made for them)

Starting with Nightmare:

• She/her in this. I don't know why, I just see Nightmare as a girl in this and Dream as a boy. She is also inspired by the main character of Black Book who is female, sooo

• She and Dream were born in a small village in a family of a skilled hunter and a powerful witch, who wielded a mysterious artefact - a book containing a huge number of spells, rituals, descriptions of various creatures and other knowledge. She was able to connect with both types of spirits and beings and often helped the villagers out. Unfortunately, while there were no problems during the birth of Dream, the process of giving birth to Nightmare was hard and the witch passed away soon afterwards.

• As already mentioned, has a natural talent for communicating with "evil" and "dark" spirits and creatures. The villagers already thought of her as cursed since in their minds she was the reason the village's beloved witch died, and when they found out about her dangerous abilities (especially since connecting with dark spirits was considered a difficult art that people learned and studied, and being born with such ability on a good level was rare), well yeaah, she doesn't have the best reputation.

• So, this is actually a cool one imo. When I was creating this whole mess in my head I thought that them being named Dream and Nightmare was, well, not the most fitting and authentic for my traditional russian au thing I'm trying to do... So I thought that maybe I can find them some cool ancient russian names that have a meaning suitable for them? And I did. So they have ancient russian names now too! So, the original Nightmare's name (the one her mother gave her) is Tihomira (Тихомира) or Mira (Мира) for short, which means "a calm and quiet, reserved person".

• But eventually the villagers gave her another name (more like a nickname) - Zloba (Зл��ба), which literally means evil and malicious :'(

• She was always surrounded by rumours about her and the death of her mother, she obviously doesn't remember her mother but misses her dearly, she always looks at photos of her parents together with eyes full of longing.

• Her and Dream's father shuts down after the loss of his wife, he's rarely at home at spends most of the time hunting, Mira has to stay at home to work around the house most of the time.

• In search for explanation of her abilities, as well as trying to prove to herself that she's not the cause of her mothers death, she actively seeks out all the different object, photos and painting, anything that once belonged to her. And one day, she finds the book.

• By the way, unfortunately, the father doesn't really like his daughter too. Sometimes he looks at her and really struggles not to see the reason of his lovely wife's death in her. Actually he knows about Mira's slight obsession with her mother's things, he finds it unnatural and even creepy, he tries to hide all of the witch's belongings, especially the book, thinking it can be really dangerous in Mira's hands. Well, she finds the book eventually anyway.

• I know that some people don't really like the canon concept of Corrupted not being Nightmare but rather a completely different being. I don't like that too, but I don't want to completely get rid of Corrupted as a character, so they are both present in this story as separate characters, Corrupted being an evil spirit sealed in the book (you can see him in the background of the art).

• At first Mira tries to use the knowledge in the book to prove to the villagers that she can also do good with this power, but the book eventually influences her and corrupts her.

• The apple incident is now the book incident :/

• Corrupted and Mira remain to be separate beings even after the incident, although they heavily influence each other, I'll probably talk about the incident and what happens after it in the next post after this, I still have to develop their adult designs too.

Now I'll give you a couple of examples of different creatures this Nightmare can interact with:

Actually, I need to put a warning here for descriptions of gore, death and violent actions since russian mythology is not just a couple of happy fairytales an can actually travel to some dark themes, so be warned ( if you don't want to read just skip to the Dream part)

1. Kikimora:

Kikimora was described as a short, crooked, slovenly and ugly old woman, a long-braided girl or woman. According to various other descriptions, a kikimora can be very small and thin, with a large head, long arms, short legs, bulging eyes, hairy paws, horns, a tail, and covered in feathers or fur.

It was believed that Kikimora could appear in a house after the death of one of the family members, but she could also be sent into the house by a witch or a witcher using a ritual artifact in the form of a small doll.

It was commonly believed that kikimoras cause great harm to people and can be dangerous: they prevent them from sleeping and frighten them with various sounds, annoy small children, pounce on and strangle them at night, throw various objects, drop and break things, pull out or cut out hair from people, wool from cattle, feathers from poultry in their sleep. The activity of kikimoras could even force owners to leave their home. There are stories in which kikimoras brought people to death.

Kikimora's favorite tool in the house is a spinning wheel. At night, Kikimora often spun, making a lot of noise; any things spun by her were considered cursed. If the owner of the house noticed Kikimora doing this at night, it could be a sign of imminent death. Most often, people did not see this spirit, but they heard her noise and felt her presence; it was possible to drive her out of the house only with the help of strong spells and rituals performed by a witch or a witcher.

2. Likhoradka (fever)

Likhoradka (which means fever in russian) is a disease personified in the form of a woman in russian mythology, invading a person and causing either chills or fever.

A distinctive feature of Likhoradka is her multiplicity. Most often, this spirit came in the form of several women at once (7, 9, 12). It was believed that Likhoradka crawled under a person's skin, causing illness, and after the death of a person, it jumped into the body of another. Likhoradka spread very quickly, sometimes taking many lives throughout the village. She can be driven out either by strong spells or by curing all the sick with special decoctions. If Likhoradka was driven out, then most often it was "sent" to the forests, fields, swamps.

3. Bannik and Bannica

Bannik lives in the banya ( russian bathhouse); usually invisible, sometimes takes the form of an old man covered in dirt and leaves from a broom, or a man with long hair, and also turns into a boar, a dog, a cat, a frog, a white hare. A female Bannik is called a Bannica, or an Obderikha. An Obderikha is a shaggy, scary old woman.

In general, Banniks are quite peaceful spirits, but only if a person follows all the rules during a visit to the bathhouse and does not forget to make offerings to the spirit. To appease Bannik, people leave him a piece of rye bread with a large amount of coarse salt, and also leave some water in the tub and a piece of soap nearby.

If a person angers the Bannik, he turns into a dangerous and malicious spirit - he can burn people with boiling water in the bathhouse, throw stones at them, and also knock on the wall, frightening those taking a steam bath. If a person has violated very serious prohibitions, the Bannik can cause great harm: he can peel off the skin or steam a person to death. People often came to witches for advice on how to properly appease the spirit, what should and should not be done in the bathhouse, and also asked for help if the spirit was angry.

Now let's talk about Dream:

• He/him

• His russian name is Peresvet (Пересвет), or Svet (Свет) for short, which means "the one fighting for the light". I know, it's really cool😅

•As mentioned, has a natural talent for speaking and connecting with different spirits and beings of nature.

• The villagers though of him quite well, especially compared to his sister. When they found out about his powers, they started to value him even more since he could help out villagers and perform various rituals which would bring a good harvest, protect crops, bring good weather, etc.

• He actually has sort of a hobby collecting different plants he find beautiful, one day villagers started noticing that all the flowers and plants he bring are actually either medicinal herbs that are good for curing different diseases or are used in some useful rituals. It's actually not because he's just lucky, some spirits of nature are actually helping him find them from time to time. It's after many such occurrences that the villagers started suspecting about his powers.

• Opposite to Mira, Svet is almost always outside, either just playing with other children, helping villagers with his powers or learning more about them.

• On the contrary to his sister, is not really interested in developing his powers or learning more about them and all the rituals, he mostly wants to have a simple happy childhood like other children, he also dreams of becoming a simple herbalist in the future, not a witcher, but he feels like he has to do all that to help the villagers and be a good person, so he tries his best to practice and study anyway.

• Is actually quite close to his father, well as close as you can get to a shut person like him, sometimes the father takes him to some walk in the forest with him, he tells him about different plants in the forest and how to properly survive there since he's a hunter. Svet cherishes such rare interactions quite a lot.

• Doesn't understand his sister's troubles and doesn't spend much time with her, the villagers are always demanding him to be outside, to help with some rituals or collect some herbs. But he actually wants to spend more time with her, he just doesn't know how to say no to the villagers.

Some examples of the spirits Svet can connect with:

Actually, there are no descriptions of gore here or anything, but some darker themes like death and being lost are present so please proceed with caution

1. Leshy

Leshy is the spirit-master of the forest in russian mythology. In mythological stories, Leshy appears as a plant, animal or anthropomorphic creature. It is also common for the leshy to appear in the form of relatives and acquaintances. The leshy was sometimes described as a giant, sometimes as a dwarf; there are beliefs that he could change his height.

As the master, the leshy takes care of the forest, protects it, and is the patron of forest animals and plants. The leshy was considered a fair master of the forest, who would not harm without reason, but could punish people for inappropriate behavior in his domain, or if a person behaved,he could help them. According to popular belief, the leshy could ensure good luck in hunting and safe grazing of cattle, but for this to happen, hunters and shepherds needed to make an agreement with him.

Such an agreement was called a "forest charter", people (usually with the help of a witch) wrote their requests on birch bark, asking Leshy to help in hunting and not to harm the village. In order for Leshy to accept such conditions, he was appeased and brought offerings: various foods, bread, milk, sometimes coins. However, Leshy punished people who violated the forest's prohibitions - he could kidnap them, make them wander and get lost in the forest, from where people rarely returned and usually died wandering in the forest.

2. Gamayun

Gamayun is a mythical bird of paradise in Russian culture. In literary works of the 17th-19th centuries, it is a bird that flies in from paradise and flies forever with the help of its tail. In the culture of the 19th-21st centuries, there were two main directions in the development of the image: as a bird of paradise, which is associated with ideas of happiness and bliss, and as a mythical bird that foretells trouble. Depending on which side it flies over a person's head, either luck or misfortune can await them.

...

Yay, I actually found some time today to finish this! Of course that's not all, and I have a lot more to tell you: about the specifics of russian spells, about the book, the incident and what happened after (I still need to do the adult designs), who knows, maybe I'll even add other au sanses to this. I also will certainly do more fanart for this, tell about the traditional russian house called izba, I'll also talk about more mystical creatures (I actually wanted to tell you about one more here that Dream can interact with but I cannot put any more pictures). So stay tuned for updates for this!

(i really gotta think of a good name for this au...)

(actually all the research, drawing my own art, finding pictures and materials as well as translating everything so that it would be understandable to non-russian audience takes quite a lot of time, especially since making one art piece can take me anywhere from two hour to several days, so please be patient since the next part probably won't be posted soon. anyway you are free to ask any questions about the au or russian culture as a whole while you wait, i'll try my best to answer them)

[forwhump]

a/n: ;-; I feel a little silly introducing myself on a writing post but I feel sillier just starting to post my writing w/out any sort of introduction at all, so hi ! I’m Tina ! I’ve semi recently gotten introduced to the whump community because the content I create has been whump the whole time I just didn’t know it & thought I was alone in it !

now that I realize I’m not, I figured I might as well start posting my blurbs somewhere ! I don’t know if it qualifies as conventional whump, but is there such thing as conventional whump ? so what the hell

I put my two favourite oc’s through the horrors so often I have so much whump content w them & it’s just going to waste in my google docs & my notes app ! I’m chronically shy about posting my work online but I figured somebody out there might see this & maybe even like it so what’s the harm in sharing !

if you do see this & maybe even like it, yay ! I’m so glad ! thank you for even reading it <3

tw/cw for aftermath implied rape, mentions of being gutted

Wren has always been beautiful.

Silas had always thought so. Even at Wren’s worst, even when it wasn’t wholly appropriate to think. Silas had thought so since that very first day, since he was dragged into this place clawing and biting, since Wren had looked up at him from his place in the common room and smiled at Silas, sympathetic, as he was dragged into hell.

It was striking, even then, even disoriented and scared and confused. Wren was a bright spot, a glimmer of light in a bland, grey prisonscape. He’s beautiful like no other person Silas has ever seen, beautiful in a way reserved for the sunrise and the moon, so beautiful it actually gives him an eerie, kind of inhuman quality, even now, even still.

Wren has always been beautiful and Wren is beautiful still. But this —

There is nothing beautiful about this.

It’s ugly. It hurts something low in Silas’ chest.

It’s a film strip that’s been double exposed. Wren’s always been beautiful, and so particular about his hair; Wren has fairytale hair. It’s impossibly long, fairytale long, and the colour of snow, kinda, but he’s always so particular about it, he takes such good care of it, something that’s only his, something that belonged to him before this place, something they let him keep, and his hair always shimmers, perfect, iridescent. Silas has always found it kind of hypnotizing. Wren’s always so careful about how he braids it.

His hair is a mess. It had been pulled up into a ponytail with a piece of pink ribbon that’s gotten mostly lost in the tangles of his hair. Loose strands stick to his face, his throat, his waist, the insides of his thighs with tears, spit, sweat, semen, blood. He’s wearing some demeaning little pleated skirt, the same pale pink as the ribbon, and it’s short, it’s so short, and there’s so much visible skin that Silas can see almost every bruise, big and purple and splotchy and broken, like road rash. He can see all the blood tracked down the insides of his bruised thighs. He can see handprints. Tooth prints.

How is this happening? How did it get to this?

“Wren,” he hears himself say.

“Leave me alone.” His voice is the flattest Silas has ever heard it. He doesn’t lift his face from the carpet.

“Wren.” He doesn’t know what he’s gonna say. What can he say? He reaches a hand out, almost instinctive.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Wren —“

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Wren snaps, almost screams, and he finally lifts his head as he flinches away.

Most of the left side of his face is that same broken, road rash bruise. His mouth is swollen. His eyes, from crying. He doesn’t have hickeys, but proper, scabbing bite marks, bruising his jaw and his throat.

So much bruising. So much blood.

Silas knows what to do.

He struggles with that, sometimes.

Wren was allowed to keep his hair; Silas was, as well. It’s all Silas got to keep.

No part of Silas is the same as it was when he got here; no organ, no arterie. Silas isn’t human anymore, Silas is a weapon, but he tries, oh my god, he fuckin’ tries, if nothing else he tries, and he’s getting better, he thinks. He just struggles sometimes with human emotions, with feelings, thoughts, with what to do, what to say.

He knows now, though. What to do.

No part of Silas is really human anymore, but most of him is all still attached. His left leg, however, isn’t, and the replacement he’d been given, as a massive, inhuman superfreak, is heavy and deadly and fuckin’ uncomfortable. It pinches. Silas hates it almost more than anything. Unless he absolutely has to wear it, he gets around in his chair. It’s how he gets back to his room, where, without even a groan of displeasure, he makes quick work of his superfreak prosthetic.

On his own, he stands. Onto his chair, he piles one of his crewnecks, a favourite of Wren’s because of how cartoonishly large it fits him. Silas piles his comforter on top. From Wren’s room, he grabs his hairbrush and a pair of his joggers. Their clothing is the same dull grey as everything else in hell — prison grey, Silas thinks of it.

He limps his chair back to the common room. He folds the sweatshirt and joggers over the back, brush hooked in one hand as he holds open the blanket. “Okay,” he says. “Come.”

Wren’s head is down again. He’s right where they dumped him, a pile on the common room floor. “Leave me alone, Silas.”

Silas frowns. “No,” he says. “Come. I won’t touch.”

Slowly, Wren lifts his head. He blinks up at Silas with huge, wet eyes. “What?” He says, less sharp but a bit more broken. “What are you doing?”

Silas shakes the blanket at him. “Come.”

He isn’t expecting the way Wren’s face crumples, or the way he sobs. Softly, he says, “Wren?”

Wren turns his face away, but when he sobs, he sobs, “Silas.”

Folding the blanket and the brush back onto his chair, Silas limps around it to slowly, awkwardly maneuver himself onto the carpet next to Wren. Within reaching distance, but he’s careful not to touch.

Wren doesn’t lift his face and sobs into the carpet.

Slowly, Silas lies down, on his back next to him. He reaches out, he doesn’t touch, but he invites, and without looking at him Wren shifts into his arms and sobs into Silas’ shoulder.

Silas covers his back with a massive, gentle hand and lets him cry.

He cries for a long time.

Eventually, his sobs soften to sniffles and the hitching of his back slows under Silas’ hand. He says, into Silas’ grey sweatshirt, “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“Why?” Silas asks.

Wren’s chest hitches. His voice cracks when he says, “I’m disgusting.”

He frowns. “You’re not disgusting.”

Wren hiccups out a sob.

“Wren,” Silas says, “you’ve held my organs inside my body for me. This is nothing.”

He sobs again.

Silas thumbs slowly across his back, over the stiff, ripped material of his shirt. “Let me take care of you this time, Wren,” he says. “Please.”

“You shouldn’t have to take care of me,” he says softly.

“I don’t,” Silas says. “I want to.”

Wren’s small fist curls into Silas’ crewneck. Into his chest, he whispers, “they really hurt me, Silas.”

“I’ll take care of them,” Silas promises. He already knows how he’ll do it. It won’t be slow but it will be painful. “Let me take care of you first.”

Wren doesn’t answer him, but he nods into Silas’ shoulder.

Softly, Silas asks, “can I pick you up?”

He nods again.

Gratefully, gently, Silas lifts Wren into his arms and from there, into his chair. He pulls the grey blanket around his shoulders and Wren sinks into it gratefully.

The bathroom is cold, and the water doesn’t get hot, but it gets warm, so Silas runs it warm before he limps across the bathroom to gather an armful of towels. He held Wren to his feet, and leaves the towels in his place.

“You don’t have to do this,” Wren says softly.

“So?” Silas says.

He blinks up at him, a bit taken aback.

Supporting most of Wren’s weight, Silas says, “do you want my help getting undressed or do you want me not to touch you?”

Wren blinks up at him again, sniffling. “Would you help me?” He asks, so soft he’d barely spoken.

“I’ll do anything you ask me to,” Silas answers.

Wren makes a soft sound, and Silas is careful not to touch any of the bruises as he bumbles through small buttons and zippers with huge hands. He helps Wren out of his ruined skirt and into the lukewarm water. Silas doesn’t undress, but he follows him in, letting Wren lean hard against him as he lathers a washcloth he hands to him before getting to work untangling his hair.

It’s a careful few hours of effort, because Wren has so much hair and it’s so matted, caked with blood, grime, semen.

Silas is meticulous. He brushes it out. Washes it. He isn’t a great braider yet, but June had been teaching him the basics, and he can struggle his way through a sloppy French braid. He tugs the elastic out of his own hair to tie it off, and once he’s done, Wren turns to look up at him and he’s crying again.

“Wren?” He says.

And Wren surges forward, pushing his face into the hollow of Silas’ sternum, arms tight around his waist.

“Thank you,” he whispers into his wet sweatshirt.

Silas cradles the back of his head with one hand. “It’s okay,” he says.

In truth, he would die for Wren in a heartbeat. This is nothing.

[aphroditesweets]

Hey peeps!

For the past few days, I’ve been restraining myself from posting any artwork of my oc’s because I didn’t want to post any of them without giving them a proper introduction. But now I FINALLY have proper photos of the designs for my characters that are going to be showing up time and time again. So let me show you them!

•

•

Isabella Rosa Draxum Torusia (ROTTMNT OC)

Over on my YouTube channel, Isabella is pretty much my mascot. I draw art of her a lot and so do my subscribers! They absolutely adore her and I do too! She’s a pretty new oc, only being a few months old

In short, Isabella is a mutant turtle oc coming from ROTTMNT. She was an experiment of Baron Draxum, but after a decade of being abused and exhausted from what he was using her for, she ran away. A miracle happened and she was found by a tortoise Yōkai couple who took her in and raised her, helping her find her identity.

A few years later, she accidentally runs into the Mad Dogs, but because of her bubbly and extroverted personality, she actually wanted tried to stay in touch, eventually going on missions with them and being considered part of their family, little did they all know they were more connected than they thought…

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The Amphibious Clan (ROTTMNT OC’s)

These guys aren’t necessarily new, however they’ve been given updates, especially the lady on the far left. You see, all of the guys are original oc’s, however the lady is my interpretation of Mona Lisa, who has appeared in TMNT since the 1980’s. There isn’t a clear ROTTMNT Mona Lisa design, but mine is based off of (2012)TMNT’s Mona Lisa.

I have an AO3 account and I’m currently working on a ROTTMNT “Fan Episode” where this group will be introduced. I want to create more works with them, cause I haven’t really done it that much, but stay tuned for the story!

Anyways, from Left to Right is: Mona Lisa, Vincent, Dorian, Loki. Mona and Vincent are siblings and Dorian and Loki are their cousins, they themselves are siblings.

This group was apart of something quite huge, their clan was actually led by their father who had a strong rivalry with the Triceratons, another clan. However stuff went down and now the clan is just these four, who are well known criminals amongst the Hidden City.

Vincent is the new leader and while Mona is supposed to be second in charge, Vincent doesn’t allow her, continuing to put her in his shadow. Him and Dorian lead the group while Loki and Mona follow.

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Briar Martinez (ROTTMNT OC)

Briar is probably my oldest oc, only being 2 years old but still. She’s gone through so many redesigns and updates, that she’s actually “Briar 4.0”.

Briar was an oc apart of a universe I actually created, however the universe had faded. Briar was the main character of this universe but I didn’t want to scrap her yet, so I saved her. When getting into the TMNT fandom, specifically Rise, I found the perfect opportunity. So I dusted her off, redesigned her appearance and story, and she fit right in. However I hadn’t used her in a while so once again I updated her look and here we are. One of the biggest updates I have given her was the fact that she is deaf and now wheres a cochlear implant and does ASL!

In ROTTMNT, she was a new recruit of the Purple Dragons because she was super smart and advanced technologically.

She actually met Donnie via chatting on the internet, the twist was, neither her or Donnie used face cam once they started calls since Donnie didn’t want to show a human his “whole situation”. The two got along really well and talked about common interests, but Briar didn’t really talk about the tech club she was in since she didn’t think it was a huge enough deal.

It wasn’t until one night where the Mad Dogs and the Purple Dragons would go against each other when Briar and Donnie would finally meet, which caused a sort of tension between them and betrayal on Donnie’s behalf…

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Conan and Juno (NON-ROTTMNT OC)

These two cuties are my newest oc’s, or at least one of them. The sheep girl, whose name is Juno, was actually an oc I made a few months ago. However I literally drew three pictures of her before I forgot about her. She had no purpose or story so I put her on the shelf.

For some reason I recently had thought about her and really wanted to give her another chance, so I redesigned her and have already given her a few headcannons. But I wanted to give her a story, which needed another person.

Conan was created from scratch. He’s SUPPOSES to be based off a wolf but LOOKS like freakin FOXY FROM FNAF (but Foxy’s cool so I’m okay with it). I’ve decided to make Conan and Juno a couple because wtf not? Yes he’s a wolf (foxy thingy) and she’s a sheep, but all I’m saying is if we can have Judy Hops and Nick Wilde than lemme have Juno and Conan

Not much story is developed right now, but I’m still cooking! All that matters is they have a healthy, fluffy, sweet relationship and don’t care about who says it’s weird for them to be together! 🙂‍↕️

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So these are all of my known oc’s. They’re all my babies and I love them all so much. If you would like to add on to my collection of fanart for my characters, be my guest! Just please credit 😁🩷

[striderl]

Finally we have the Doctor Cameraman . Are you planning to create an OC doctor cameraman?

Nah, I think I have a lot to work on with my current amount of OCs. If I make more I may not have enough time to develop each of them. Art takes effort, and creating free content online is rather time consuming in a matter of speaking. On top of that, I've already got enough on my plate as a college freshman as well as other things going on with my personal life.

I always prefer quality over quantity, what's the point of creating an original character if you don't have a proper story to tell about them? I don't make my OCs out of thin air, because everything has a cause and effect. There are a lot of minor research and story drafting going on behind the scene, sometimes I need to learn more about their profession and specialty myself just to make the story more immersive. For the most part, I only introduce the character when I have a rough draft of their backstory and their potential changes according to the series.

People love my OCs, Polaroid and Sawmus especially, because of the constant character development, which is something you can't achieve in one introductory post. Plus, I think people never get enough of them, and I mean it in an affectionate way (I love people's passion when it comes to learning). There are already messages in my ask box about Sawmus' team, and I've just made them!

[artharakka]

33, 40, 45 for the oc ask meme?

Woah I finally have a proper day off without having anything scheduled! So some more oc ask doodles it is because I still have a bunch of these in my askbox ✨🧡

33. Your shyest OC?

Rhiam. Though often during any kind of intense moments like in fights Rhiam gets into some kind of flow state where they just act on intuition (because they don't have time to overthink).

45. A character you no longer use?

Oh so many! But at the same time I don't know? Because I tend to have some active stories and characters I rotate in my mind and some stories are kind of abandoned (for now), but time to time I pick some old characters from them and reuse them in some new setting. Here's one that I haven't been tempted to recycle though:

I don't even remember did I name her anything besides Queen. She was a cold monarch in the first version of my oldest proper story and one of the story's main antagonists. She was replaced with other kind of antagonists over time as the story developed. She wasn't very deeply developed since I was like... 14? when I made the story. She was obsessed with keeping the power in her hands which drove her to severe paranoia that made her blame the story's protagonist's love interest of stealing the magical crown jewel and the protagonist was to find the real culprit. Her son Lumi, on the other hand, who was just a side character in the original story, became a more important character in the later versions of the story. He was also forgotten for a time but lately I resurrected a version of him to my space ttrpg that I've sometimes posted on my Patreon. So, some version of this queen also still lives as Lumi's mother.

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters?

So many to so many! Majority of my ocs I've created or introduced to shared projects of me, @iijadraws & @artist-rat so creating ocs and stories is mostly a communal activity with friends for me 🧡 There are the protagonists of our graphic novel (currently on back burner), Kasimira, Sonja, and Idla, that are very dear as we started the project in 2016 when we were getting to know each other. Currently I'm cherishing Rhiam's ttrpg campaign Heartland which artist-rat is DMing as during it we have been getting back to hanging out just the three of us after life got in the way (there were happy things as well, but time consuming). But there are two characters that came to mind first when thinking about fond memories:

Pujo ("Mugwort") and Paju ("Willow") are twin characters of me and @artist-rat (Paju is mine, Pujo Rat's). We created them when we weren't in that good place (at least I was in the pits of depression and burnout). And also after we hadn't seen each other in half a year after I was studying in Canada. They are not us, but there's also something that makes them the most "us" characters we have. They have had rough times and a bit broken family, but they are always there for each other. I projected my depression heavily on Paju, and kind of started to resent them because I started to resent myself. But my friends loved Paju (and me) despite their flaws and depression and so I also started to gain my own self esteem ❤. For us they embody the kind of comfort there is in a not-that-grand commuter town apartment that has been made in to a home despite the bland facade. Or going to get takeout late in the evening, but it's still warm and light because of the northern summer's barely setting sun. They started as Skyrim characters, but have since been adapted to many settings. A couple of years ago I started to draw small slice of life comics about them, but I got busy with graduating etc. I've been thinging of starting that kind of a project about them again though.

[mino-diabolik]

Five Years of Mystic Tsukinami

This August it’ll be five years since I created Mystic’s blog. And since I’ve reached the 500 followers mark not long ago, I thought I’ll compile a few fun facts and others about the blog and how Mystic’s character developed through the years into the rampant, chaotic-horny, grinning Founder you all know today! ✨

Origins

I started this blog in August of 2018 thanks to the encouragement of a good friend and fellow Kino-lover, @munarisblog! I only interacted with the Hispanic community of DL’s fandom at the time, writing in Spanish all the time.

I’m not very sure when, but as friends started being less and less active, I turned to putting out content in English and getting myself out there by sending the first ask/starter to other blogs. Through which I acquired incredibly mutuals and people I very much consider friends today ✨

Designs

The first ever imagery of Mystic’s design I had to show for was manga-clips and Picrew depictions, as it was what everyone was doing back in the day.

The manga clips, I used even up to a few months ago, but the Picrew avatar is very, very old. So, if you recognize it: Congratulations, you’ve been in this hellhole for quite a while LMAO

I later received the opportunity to obtain a proper sprite for Mystic! It being made for me by the talented @/lavendel081 ✨

I believe these were introduced some time in 2018/2019. Don’t quote me on that, though. I’m not quite sure, but pretty confident it was very early on. I’m still greatly thankful to Lavendel for offering to make this sprite of Mystic for me back then.

Moving to the present, summer 2022, I got in contact with Lavendel once more in order to properly commission new sprites for Mystic. The finally product—which, fun fact, were coincidentally done by Mystic’s birthday on the dot lol—are the Mystic you interact with presently.

As for Mystic’s other forms, I’ve only shown his wolf form. Which I will present here in both their past and current versions—

I’m the future, I plan to make (at least) a sprite for Mystic’s owl form :D

Character Development

I was going to say I didn’t mean this as in dumping trauma on him, but that’s a lie lmao

In the beginning, Mystic was very much a flat character with very little interesting attributes to him, besides the fact he was an OC descendant of the Tsukinami. His personality was very much based on Shin’s back then, aside from a few aspects that would be considered extremely out of character today.

Early-Mystic used to be extremely shy and easily flustered, being (and forgive me for the wording lmao) a virgin who had no experience in love whatsoever. That is to say, Kino was his first-everything back in the day. Not to mention, he was your typical prince-boy that never had to lift a hand for why he wanted. That is to say, he was pretty whiny.

The current version of Mystic I have today is the abso-fucking-lutely opposite. Sleeps around, trauma based off past relationships, flirty, emotionally-unavailable, outgoing—you get it.

Not to mention, a lot of his backstory is based off the very vague notes I had of him during his early stages. Back then, I knew he was a prince, but truly had no clue where I was going with the Owl Clan and their lore. What you see today is the most detailed his backstory has ever been.

Routes appearances

Oh my god, I cringe just thinking about it. The very first version I wrote of Mystic’s LE route is very much what I described of his character during early-stages (refer to the inexperienced, easily flustered virgin fellow). It was a mess. He was so boringly weak, I could have made him a human and there (mostly) not had been much difference.

The Mystic I’ve depicted in his (in-progress) Dark Fate route is the kind of character Mystic is presently, and who is much like the canon that should be followed.

This post isn’t all that impressive (I’m still considering making something else that includes my followers/community), but I thought it fun to make something that could trace back to the very beginning. I’m really thankful for those that have been here for a long time, but also you guys that have just arrived months, or even weeks prior.

I’ve met incredibly writers and characters through Mystic, with whom I hope to be able to continue interacting with ^^

I’m not very good at this kinds of speeches, so I won’t stretch this out any more;;; Thank you once more, and stay tuned for more! ⭐️😈⭐️

[bnbc]

Bite My Shiny Metal Ass (Kou's body lore dump)

As a disclaimer, back in the days when I started working on Kou’s post-canon story, I decided not to stick with canon in terms of technologies. I bought this ‘we can’t find a donor for you’ thing and built everything around her getting a full-metal body, yet, I needed her to be capable of certain things (read: to get laid without plugging cables in 100500 ports) so I basically made her an artificial human instead of traditional fullborg. New-gen borg it is! So if something of my ‘tech’ contradicts the canon, it’s because I decided not to limit myself by sticking with it.

Story >>> canon accuracy, this is the way.

So, the body. I headcanon that long ago along with developing relic technology Arasaka also started working on creating a perfect fake human body. First, because it’d make a relic tech more salable: you don’t need to care about finding a proper donor, so you could get those clients who don’t have blood related relatives or actually care about them (yes, Saburo, it is a dick for YOUR summer hat). Second, the tech basically consists of the three major parts — the body itself, the digital 'soul', and the code which make it all work together — and since all three would be Arasaka’s property it’d make such clients totally dependent on the corporation. 

They advanced fast with the code and chrome parts but were stuck with one issue: the engrama still needed an old good meat brain to parasite into, and no matter how they tried, they couldn't crack brain cloning. So, they made someone else do the work for them. 

After the game events Biotechnica went against the Soulkiller tech, claiming it unethical, and decided to cut their piece of the new market by providing 'morally correct' full cloned bodies for engrammas to claim. They were successful but they didn’t last long enough to taste the fruit of their labor: in the final stages of testing their facility in Brazil was raided, and brain-cloning tech was stolen. It caused Biotechnica’s collapse, and a lot of their technologies ended up in the free market. Brain cloning, though, was kept by Arasaka for themselves.

Early prototypes of new-gen borgs were quite… straightforward, and basically they were just nicely looking human shaped pieces of chrome. First tests showed insane rates of cyberpsychosis cases, so to make it salable, they had to advance both chrome and code further, creating a body capable of perfectly imitating organic processes. It worked, but the code was too complicated for meat brains to process, so the body’s passengers should’ve either gone through the long and unpleasant process of learning how to do it themselves or to rely on Arasaka’s satellite support system for the rest of their lives. 

So, when it came to bringing Kou’s back to life, they had it all well tested, yet there was a challenge, as well. 

The thing is she was put in her shelf in Mikoshi without plans of resurrecting her: they tried, tho, first with finding a donor, then with a borg way, but her DNA samples were no good for growing a healthy cell colony. However there was an opportunity, that with a clean sample of Johnny’s DNA, they would be able to get all the ‘trash’ out, and eventually the sample was delivered. (This part was created before I found out that there is a story behind real Johnny’s body and shit, so I stick to the oil field grave thing here)

But why spend so much money and effort on some mercenary whose biggest strength was in slicing people left and right? Kou’s aint a big brain netrunner after all, and all her skills were gone, wasted with the muscle memory of her original body. Obligation to nobody trash girl obviously wasn’t a thing that bothered Saburo much. Kou would’ve stayed on her shelf forever, if not for her allies.

Hanako Arasaka was introduced by the plan and managed to support it in front of her Father: Kou will be brought back, but not as a charity. She’d be in debt of Arasaka who’d owned both her body and soul, and would have to work this debt out as their agent. Everyone involved understood that such debts could not ever be worked out (you always can add some more to it, charing Kou for fixing broken parts, you know), but it was better than nothing, and the person behind the project idea promised to make sure that Kou would eventually agree to these terms.

They had another plan in their mind, but nobody should’ve known about this.

Back to the chrome! Till then Arasaka was producing only 'civil' bodies, because most of the SYS participants were rich people, they simply didn't need battle implants and software. But Arasaka agents were another story, they needed to be capable, yet they should've been sane enough to solve problems more complicated than ‘go and kill everyone’. So, they’ve made some changes.

I.e. Kou’s realskin is more dense then the common one, yet it’s so high quality you can’t distinguish it from human flesh my touch. (I HC tho, there are some hints, like her skin barely holds smell on it, doesn't change its color when she’s supposed to blush or get pale etc). But even with this update she needs to wear armor and subdermal implants because it turned out that being able to bleed is an essential part of staying ‘human’. She also have her legs augmented for jumping and keeping the balance; her reflexes are boosted to insanely high speed, she’s got a chrome spine to carry her frame (she weights fairly lot), a flagman cyberdeck (which is laughable because her netrunning skill are joke), optic and, of course, blades — and lots and lots new lines of code to make it all operating together.

The body itself is a very complicated tech, whose first goal is to pretend to be real. It doesn’t mean that she has all body systems duplicated as they’re in the human body, but her ‘organs’ serve the same goal. I.e. her ‘liver’ doesn’t look like a liver, it’s a system of sensors and filters that keeps the body clean. Her digestive system is a combo of ‘battery’ and ‘human guts’: she needs calories to keep her meat brain alive but doesn't really need to eat, technically, but eating helps her to stay sane. Yeah, this poor borg girl still has to poop. I’m so sorry, baby.

Of course, this fine piece of tech wasn’t given her on pure trust basis, and even tho she had no choice but to agree with her contract terms, her supervisor, the person who came up with idea to bring her back as ‘saka agent, got granted the access codes that could let them interfere in her processes or even cut her off the satellite support, making her body just a pile of dead metal.

Ah well, did I mention it was Goro?

He never abused it though, even when she tried to kill him, he broke both of her arms to stop her instead of using the magic button. I mean, it would be hella disrespectful to treat her as she's a machine, and Goro is not like this, right? xD Later, after their escape, Kou got her codes changed first with her fixer team, then, once again, in Night City. After that she gave new codes to Goro, just in case. He never abused them then, either.

So, one last topic to cover is THE LOOK. When I was creating the story I was living with the idea that ‘saka didn’t care about Kou’s appearance even barely resembling her old one, so they just took a standard body made for the inner market for her. But when I created her in her new body in game she turned out to be crazily pretty. So, I have altered my story a bit: since she’s supposed to be a corporation property she should've looked accordingly, so they designed her frame and face to be an Arisaka cover girl.

Goro kept as much distance from the process of her creation as he could, but he had to interfere once. Arasaka, of course, installed its own optic into Kou’s eye sockets, but on his last visit to Night City Goro’s got “Kiroshi” with Kou’s favorite lenses integrated. Vik gave them to him in exchange of the promise that when she’s back to life she’d be looking on the world through her own eyes. This is the episode he isn’t proud about, because he basically had to psychology crash the medtech for them to change her optics and to erase all the data about it from the databases. This really wasn’t cool (because it was fukking HOT).

And, of course, as anyone with such an amount of chrome Kou's balancing on the verge of cyebrpsycosys. She, basically, has it, but mostly in remission, yet if she stops caring about 'body maintenance (aka skipping meals, abusing sleeping system, or even killing way to much people) she's at risk of having cyberpsycitic strikes. They usually come as auto-aggression and are shaped in attempts to get rid of human likeness 'because we all know who I really am". But gladly, since she still has something (someone) to care about she always gets back to her normal state and her 'stupid routine'.

Ooof, I guess that's all.

[harmoniouspixels]

Crystal Valley: A (Belated) 10th Anniversary, Just in Time for the 13th Anniversary!

Hey simblr! I've finally decided to queue up the posts of my custom 'hood I've been talking about for the past three years on here, lol. I posted this originally in the Fall 2021 season on Boolprop, which served to honor the 'hood's proper 10th anniversary. Given that the sims bug has bit me again and so has the desire to share, I'm going to do so now! The text will be lifted from Boolprop and all posts will be adjusted to a Tumblr format the best I can given the limitations of this site compared to a proper forum.

Text from the forum will start below! If you'd like to get ahead of the queue and check out how it appeared on the forum, you can do so by clicking HERE.

------------------(Remember proper line breaks? I do.)------------------

So after three months [May-July 2021] of downloading lots, CC, building houses, placing 'hood deco, making sure the sims were just right, I finally have completed a passion project of mine!

I (re)introduce to Tumblr for the first time: Crystal Valley!

Now, what's so special about this 'hood?

This 'hood, as the thread's title implies, is a recreation of one I made 10 years ago! Back in 2011 when I was gifted a laptop for my 13th birthday, I took it upon myself to install my copy of TS2 and the EPs and SPs I owned one by one so that I could get a chance to play with them a bit more in-depth than I did on the family desktop at the time (where I had installed everything I got immediately from about 2008 until then). This 'hood quickly became my go-to place to play, outpacing the then record holder of Pleasantview by a landslide. It also helped that in the summer of 2011 when I made the 'hood, my cousin was staying with us from Georgia, so I had someone to bounce ideas off of and relay this story to a bit. (She, however, was playing on her laptop in Belladonna Cove with some sims she made.) After that summer, this became the go to neighborhood for me. Wanted to play more of this convoluted story? Wanted to test mods? I booted up TS2 and went on down to Crystal Valley! Sadly it went by the wayside around 2013/2014 as I didn't take backing up seriously then. I used the name only to make a new neighborhood in 2015, but it wasn't a true recreation. Realizing that in 2021 it had been 10 years since I had created it, I figured now was as good a time as any to make this 'hood again! (Giving it some cosmetic updates that my 13 year old self wouldn't have done, like using defaults, and not including the premade bin sims because I have since learned how to stop them from being created.)

I should make a little content warning ahead of the posts about the families. There's nothing uber spicy (this is a recreation of a neighborhood I made at 13 after all), but it's really just about same-sex pregnancies? Fitting for this forum's [BoolProp's] name, this is where I tested out the boolprop testingcheatsenabled true and used the Tombstone of Life and Death to simulate genetic mergers, and two of the households storylines revolve around that. I also dabbled with InTeen in the 'hood back then, which was active in the recreation process, but not actively used outside of spawning sim's biological clocks. Hell, the household I used for that I didn't recreate 100% faithfully, and made it make a bit more sense storywise. (Even then it's not a major part of the Crystal Valley narrative, but rather a creative way to callback to that original household of tester sims.) Again, nothing too terribly offensive, but could be some rather crunchy bits for others that I wanted to give a quick heads up for. The first street we'll be heading to is Crystal Lane! It's where the first families I made were located, so it's only natural to start there. Not every family will be on that post, seeing as there's four households (Baker, Waters, Lopez, and Rizzo) on the street. The Baker's will be first!

[murasaki-cha]

I'm going to express my thoughts and the reason behind this post and not trying to offend you or deny you of the right of your opinion, you're free to not like any specific media and in cases the fandom of a specific media.

I understand what you mean by your reply, but consider the fact that Percy Jackson was released 19 years ago. Original fans who read these books as children and teens are in fact adults now.

They have been in this fandom for years before the show, they have been fans of the books, the musical, suffered through horrible movie adaptations and were literally the ones that were most active in promoting and hyping the tv show adaptation.

It's great that new fans are joining through the show, I myself watched it with my little sister (who is a child btw) and introduced her to the PJO world through the show. The older fans were the ones most excited about the show onlys reactions and actively gatekeeping spoilers because we wanted everyone to get the full experience like most of us got through the books.

But at the same time, as mentioned before pjo has been around for almost 2 DECADES. It already has some pretty ground solid established terms (the Dam joke, blue hairbrush, Uncle Rick, etc) and very much established ship names.

We ARE allowed to get upset when new fans completely ignore those already established things. This is not a new fandom, this is an old fandom welcoming new fans. You don't see people entering other older fandoms like the BBC Sherlock fandom and just creating new ship names for John and Sherlock. I myself started reading PJO almost 10 years after it was published and still used the fandom terms and shipnames because why wouldn't I when these things have been established for so long? It's common sense and also respectful to previous fans.

And if you look at the replies no one was even attacking the new fans or anything, we just don't like annacy. There were tons of replies that were even saying that they actually really liked the SmartWater shipname the new fans had created. It's just that annacy rubbed us all wrong. It honestly sounds like a narcotic.

No one is hating or attacking the new fans. But it was literally the adults you are talking about, that have kept this fandom alive for years and through begging and cheering and by constantly raising their voice, that we finally got the proper adaptation we deserve and new fans enjoy. All we want is for them to respect us.

I'm sorry if you interpreted my post wrong. I was just trying to make a lighthearted joke. I don't actually go around spraying new fans with water in the face lol. I love the new fans all I want is for them to love the fandom I fell in love with years ago and not simply ignore it

How I feel like when I see new pjo fans calling percabeth by the name annacy

[jcmarchi]

Hyper Light Breaker Preview - Hands-On With The Not-Quite-A-Sequel To Hyper Light Drifter - Game Informer

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/hyper-light-breaker-preview-hands-on-with-the-not-quite-a-sequel-to-hyper-light-drifter-game-informer/

Hyper Light Breaker Preview - Hands-On With The Not-Quite-A-Sequel To Hyper Light Drifter - Game Informer

In my review for 2016’s Hyper Light Drifter I wrote about how it was a game I created excuses for myself to keep playing after seeing credits writing, “I didn’t do it out of necessity; I did it because I wanted to stay in Hyper Light Drifter’s world for as long as possible.” I love the color, style, music, and overall vibe of that game, which is why I was so excited to finally go hands-on with its not-quite-a-sequel, Breaker, and finally have an excuse to exist in that world again.

[embedded content]

“It’s not a sequel – it is just in the world of Hyper Light. It will have common threads, themes, and shared components,” director Alx Preston says. “If you played Drifter you will see reappearing species and enemies and other stuff like that, but generally, you don’t have to play Dirifter to enjoy this. The story is encapsulated in its own way. But there are connections to it for sure.” Preston is even more ambiguous about its Drifter relationship when asked specific questions about the timeline saying, “It takes place not too far away from [Dirfter] on either end. It’s not like it’s taking place 1000 years later. It’s within a range of the events of Drifter.”

Breaker retains the mood of Drifter, and its sound, though Preston says returning composer Disasterpiece was mainly only involved in the beginning, but it does overall look and feel different. Breaker is a 3D action game, and I made my way through a few short runs while Preston watched and politely congratulates me on lasting longer than most. There is a quick dash for general movement and a separate combat dash for closing the gap between enemies. I found little use for it in my short time, but you can also pull out a hoverboard to move quickly over longer stretches and use a glider to prevent fall damage when jumping from high heights. Expectedly, considering developer Heart Machine’s action history, it feels good, and though I died quickly, I can already see the opportunities for skill improvement.

In my first run, I used a personal favorite, dual swords and a pistol, and for my second run, I used a single sword and something close to a machine gun. You can mix and match weapons as you progress, which I am thankful for as I would love to take the machine gun with the dual swords.

At the end of my playtime, I took on a boss named Dro. The gigantic wolflike creature with a big glowing yellow sword introduced himself by jumping into the arena with strange, staccato animation. It was as if he was intentionally leaving out frames, and it looked awesome. I didn’t get to see much else of him, though, because he killed me almost immediately. After leaping over a few expanding yellow attack circles on the ground, I got in about two hits before losing all my health. Preston was still polite about my run but did not offer the same compliment about how long I lasted compared to when I was out in the world.

“It’s going to be a thing where I have to figure out what to call it,” Preston says with a chuckle when I ask about if the game should be considered a proper roguelike. “It has roguelike elements for sure, but it’s also an open world with extraction elements. You can go on runs and death matters, but it’s on a different scale than a normal roguelike.”

You attempt runs in Breaker, and there are randomized open worlds, but you set your schedule for how you want to approach them. You have a limited time and attempts to go through a world and defeat its three bosses. If you fail you get a new world, but success also leads to a new world. There is also some agency in when you leave a given world with your earned assets, which Preston says almost makes it feel more like an extraction game. It’s a mechanic that will undoubtedly make more sense in practice but is difficult to perceive with just a few runs, not to mention developer tools to automatically transport you to Dro so he can immediately murder you.

Hyper Light Breaker is planned for Early Access this summer with the 1.0 release marking its console release. Preston, a Steam Deck fan, considers that platform a priority if for no one else but himself and offers a “never say never” response when asked about Switch.

[strapstreams]

A big announcement

So to start things off, this arrived yesterday to my immense surprise. It's actually real (I might have been so confused about getting this that I reached out to Twitch Support to just verify they hadn't made some kind of mistake), and I still really can't believe I reached this point, even a full day later. I should have posted about it here when it happened instead of my personal account, but I didn't really know what to say at the time. I still don't. But I did also want to share some important information that I already put over on the Twitter side of things:

Okay so plans for the channel and things moving forward:

I *need* to try to figure out a two-monitor set up with only the equipment I have at this time (laptop and PC) because I want to be able to not have to just watch the OBS screen when I'm using the Elgato. I have to manage this with what I currently have because I cannot afford to try and get a second PC monitor or upgrade my tech. Also the streaming room is not my personal room and in fact is in the shared extra room of the house, so I can't just plop a second monitor onto it and take up all that space even if I could afford another monitor.

This ties directly into the 2nd part which is to finally get a set of PNGs to actually have "Strap" on screen and learn how to correctly use reactive images. This requires the figuring out of the 1st part before anything else as when I use the Elgato, I'm only able to see the things you see, and I don't want to struggle with the games because I have my PNG slapped on the screen.

3rd, saving up of funds from here on out so that I can afford to commission the people I have already decided on for any emotes and graphics, including the PNG if I'm still unable to use my old tablet.

4th, I want to get things further planned for the 100 follower celebration (which is now also tied in with the Affiliate one), but for that to happen I will need to stick with the hiatus and pour all my abilities into my education first, as I'm pretty far behind in one of the courses.

Once I have everything under control, I'll be reaching out to the three people I wanted to join me to start actually planning a day that might work for everyone as well as getting them all introduced to each other so that when it all happens, no one is left feeling too uncomfortable.

I'm really sorry that it's been taking so long already, and it currently looks like I won't be able to meet my original plan of trying to have it this month. It's a really big thing for me and with the Affiliate goal added in, I want to make this something really memorable, not just for me but also for all of you, new and old, who have helped me to get to a goal that I was starting to view as impossible for me to achieve, and for helping me get there far sooner than I ever anticipated.

5th, I need to learn how to create, run and manage a Discord server so that I can have announcements like this be seen the right way and not by having to make multiple posts on either Twitter or Tumblr to get something across to the people that are genuinely interested in things.

And last, but not least (to me), I want to find the time to get a proper profile icon designed for both here and on the stream and archive side of things. I have a few ideas in mind, but I need to iron them out, and it's something that I want to do (at least the initial drawing phase) myself. Right now, I'm the guy with the shiny Umbreon icon, but it's not fully indicative of what my channel or even "Strap" is like. Just like I made the current one myself, I want to make the next one too, even if it means needing to have someone polish up and finish my rough work.

It's something meaningful to me, and hopefully, I can find a way to still include an homage to the original icon in a fitting way. I have so much planned and so much work to do, and I'd be here all day making just a massive wall of text that would likely start to test Tumblr's character limit on blog posts. So I'll just wrap it all up with this:

Big things are coming and I hope that you all enjoy them when they come. Thank you all so much for your patience and support, I would not be at this stage without it, and I do apologize for all the waits.

I've got a lot to learn and I hope you all stick with me through all this! I really hope that I can live up to everyone's expectations. Thank you all once again.

This is StrapStreams, signing off. Catch you guys later!

[peininging]

Asgn 2: Individual Reflection #3

Initially, my group was quite lost on what to do to begin the redesign for Shopee’s comparison feature. I decided to initiate the ideation and designing process by creating a plan and schedule of what to do.  I proposed that we first create design sketches of potential ideas for our ideation, then share our sketches and discuss what elements we wanted to move forward with for the final high fidelity design. This could be taking the best elements among all sketches, or choosing the top few sketches and building upon them.

I decided to use low fidelity sketching as it would allow us to quickly present our ideas to get our points across without focusing too much on the details and specific implementation. It would also allow us to create more design ideas without focusing on the quality of each design sketch. I went for quantity over quality at this stage, and forced myself to think out of the box to not limit any crazy ideas that could potentially be useful in the ideation with the group later on.

As I was working on my ideation sketches, I was concerned on how I could tell if our redesign actually made an improvement. Unfortunately, in the initial interview I performed with my users,  I did not take any metrics such as task completion time, to understand how much time users spent to finish their task of comparing, or usability via the system usability scale (SUS), which would tell me if users found the application usable. Despite this, I intend to create a lofi prototype to do usability tests with users to uncover potential design pitfalls and a short post-usability test interview to gather qualitative insights that can help our team understand if our redesign improved the user experience.

However, given the tight time constraint, we might not be able to perform a proper usability test with external users, and might opt for a guerilla testing instead. In any case, I shared my plans with the team to align expectations of the schedule. 

Ideation sketches

In my ideation, I found designing a comparison feature to be quite challenging given the small real estate available on a mobile device. Given that comparison usually requires dense data, it was challenging to think of ways that could fit into a small screen. For example, one idea I had was to inform the user to horizontally flip their phone to view more data rows so to compare more products. However, this could be intrusive and annoying for users, especially if they were comparing multiple times, or  on the move. I also realised I should account for the touchpoints that users could interact with, such as the affordance of scrolling through a horizontal carousell to compare products, as they might not know they can scroll. Additionally, they might accidentally scroll too far into the next product, which made me think of introducing a “snap in place” interaction. I hope to design a useful yet simple interaction solution.

[500 words]

[ofmaeror]

Hello! The name I'm choosing to use is Maeror or Mae for short.

Unknown to me, I've been into whump since I was a child and it was this community who helped me to realise my feelings. That what I felt wasn't bad, shameful or wrong, that I wasn't alone and there were many others who felt the same or similar. I will forever be grateful to you all for that and I have to say, it's the friendliest and most welcoming community I've ever been a part of.

This isn't my main blog for visual content I enjoy, I created this for my writing, and I felt it was only proper to introduce myself before my characters and their world. I have no idea if anyone will enjoy or care about what I post here, but if nothing else I can finally get what's in my head, out on to a page. A place for some fun and writing without much worry.

The characters I'll be writing about here started out as a joke between friends of 'how much can I torture them', but evolved into a whole plot and universe that's been a comfort for me for the past fifteen years or so. A lot of my favourite tropes are reflected in my writing so expect to see some of, if not all of the below, in some form or another.

I'm hoping to do all or most of Whumptober 2022 as a starting point and see what happens. I haven't seen much of others characters on here, but I'll gladly take recommendations!

If you have any questions or want to interact with me regarding the story and world please don't hesitate to send me an ask or message. Discourse is always fun! I'm also super down to take prompts and put these characters into different situations based on your likes (if I'm comfortable with the material).

I'm new to posting my writing in this way so please let me know if I miss any warnings, or anything like that.

I'm so excited to meet and interact with you all!

Favourite topics/tropes:

A whumpee who is suffering silently, or cannot express their suffering

Team turned against their leader, exiled whumpee

Caretaker turned whumpee or dual whumpees in a situation

Whumpee has to struggle to survive to get to safety

Angsty backstories that influence present whump

Prolonged suffering with a period of care taking

Team dynamics in whump scenarios

Protective team mates over a particular whumpee

Character regression due to whump

Time loops where only whumpee knows or remembers what's happening

Wrongful imprisonment of whumpee

Possession of whumpee and being trapped in their own mind

Superpower whump or their own powers causing harm to the whumpee / magical whump / power exhaustion

Revisiting the whumpees old wounds

Whumpee unconscious and being visited or cared for

Defiant whumpee

Whumpee with a death wish/suicidal, and reckless tendencies

Hallucinations

War, wartime, and dynamics between soldiers

Science fiction whump and elements (space travel and non-human species)

Cyborg whump and synthetic organs / prosthetics

Heavy emotional whump

Romantic rejection, one-sided attraction / unrequited love, messy breakups (with the potential of working it out)

Temporary character death

Torture, mental and physical but under specific circumstances

I can't really think of anything that's a super no on my end, but if I remember or encounter anything I'll be sure to list it here.

Again, thanks for taking the time to look at this and I'm excited to meet and interact with you all!

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends. 

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @slashersdream  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01

[cyndavilachase]

I’m Looking Forward Now 💖Thank you and good bye

So, it’s been a little over a week since Steven Universe Future ended… 

I’ve been hesitant to write this, honestly, but I’m tired of holding myself back from properly expressing myself in fear of appearing overly invested in the media I consume, even in private. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like these thoughts in particular may resonate with many, so I want to share them. I want to talk about what Steven Universe has done for me personally, both as an artist, and as a person.

I’ve been around since the day the first episode of the original series aired. I actually remember when Steven Universe was just a logo on Wikipedia’s “List of Upcoming Cartoon Network Shows” list, back when I was a freshman in high school. It piqued my interest, but when commercials finally dropped for it, I thought it was going to be bad because of the way marketing handled introducing Steven as a likeable character. There was still something about it that made me want to give it a chance though, so I went online and watched the pilot before the first episode's release. I was hooked immediately. I knew I was going to love it, and I did. I fell so absolutely in love with Steven as a character, and the world that he and the gems lived in. I became obsessed. I was always so excited for new episodes to come out. Little did I know what else it would do for me as I went through my adolescence alongside it.

As the show progressed, it was evident that what I wanted out of a western animated childrens’ cartoon was finally coming into fruition: this show was becoming serialized. There was continuity, there was plot, there was character development-- it was getting deep. It was pushing the groundwork that Adventure Time laid out even further (thank you, Adventure Time).  

I will give credit where credit is due: earlier western childrens’ cartoons I grew up with like Hey Arnold, and Rugrats, among others, also touched on heavy topics, but Steven Universe was able to take similar ideas (and even more complex ones, concerning mental health and relationships) and expand on them outside of contained episodes and/or short arcs. These themes, which were a part of the show’s overarching story, spanned across its entirety. Continuity was rampant. 

What did this mean? It meant kids cartoons didn’t have to be silly and fun all the time and characters weren’t just actors playing a part in 11-minute skits. Steven and the gems would remember things that happened to them, and it affected them and how they would function and play a part in their story. This was a huge deal to me as a teenager. I always wanted the cartoons I grew up with featuring kid characters to feel more. In my own work, I often felt discouraged when combining a fun, cutesy western art style with themes as dark or layered as anime would cover. I always thought it had to be one or the other because an audience wouldn’t take a combination of the two seriously enough, based on discussions I had with classmates, friends, and online analysis I read at the time. Steven Universe proved to me otherwise. This show was opening the door for future cartoons exploring in-depth, adult concepts. I felt so seen as a kid, and was inspired to stick with what I love doing.

I was actually very worried about the show’s survival. It was in fact immensely underrated and the fandom was miniscule. Then in 2014, JailBreak dropped, and it’s popularity exploded. Part of it was because of the complex plot and the themes it was covering like I mentioned, but also because of its representation. 

I remember when fandom theorized that Garnet was a fusion due to grand, tragic reasons. Turns out, she’s simply a metaphor for a very loving w|w relationship. This was huge. I cannot stress how important it is that we continue to normalize healthy canon queer relationships in childens’ media, and Steven Universe finally was the first to do that proper. Introducing these themes offers the chance for a kid to sit there and ask themselves, “Why is this demonized by so many people?” I asked myself exactly that. Ruby and Sapphire were my cartoon LGBT rep. They were the first LGBT couple I ever ecstatically drew fanart of. I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at the time, and they showed me that I was allowed to love women and feel normal about it. The process of overcoming this was a long one, but they played a part in my very first steps into becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I could go on and on about it’s representation in general-- how it breaks the mold when it comes to showcasing a diverse set of characters in design, in casting, and in breaking gender roles. It’s focus on love and empathy. Steven himself is a big boy, but he's the protagonist, and the show never once makes fun of his weight, or any other bigger characters for that matter. It wasn’t hard to see why the fandom had grown so large.

Fandom was always a joy for me. It was a hobby I picked up when I was in middle school, like many of us here did. I would always cater my experience to fun, and fun only. I only started getting more deeply involved in SU’s fandom when I had just turned into an adult. During the summer of 2016, between my first and second year of college, I drew for the show almost every day non-stop when the Summer of Steven event was going on and posted them online. This was a form of practice for me in order to become not just more comfortable with experimenting with my art, but also to meet new artists, make new friends, and learn to interact with strangers without fear. I dealt with a ton of anxiety when I was in high school. When I was a senior applying to art school for animation, I decided I was going to overcome that anxiety. I made plans to take baby steps to improve myself over the course of my 4 years of college. Joining the fandom, while unforeseen, was definitely a part of that process. I started feeling more confident in sharing my ideas, even if they were fan-made. I fell in love with storyboarding after that summer, when I took my first storyboarding class, and genuinely felt like I was actually getting somewhere with all of this. I remember finally coming to a point in my classes where I could pitch and not feel hopelessly insecure about it. I was opening up more to my friends and peers. 

But this process, unfortunately, came to a screeching halt. 

My life completely, utterly crumbled under me in the Fall of 2017 due to a series of blows in my personal life that happened in the span of just a couple weeks. My mental health and sense of identity were completely destroyed. All of that confidence I had worked for-- completely ruined. I was alone. I nearly died. My stay at college was extended to 4 and half years, instead of the 4 I had intended. I lost my love for animation-- making it, and watching it. I could no longer watch Steven Universe with the same love I had for it beforehand. It’s a terrible thing, trying to give your attention to something you don’t love anymore, and wanting so desperately to love again. I dropped so many things I loved in my life, including the fandom.

Healing was a long and complicated road. I continued to watch the show all the way up until Change Your Mind aired in the beginning of 2019, and while I still felt empty, that was definitely a turning point for me with it’s encapsulation of self-love. I was hoping James Baxter would get to work on Steven Universe since he guest-animated on Adventure Time, and it was incredible seeing that wish actually come true. The movie came out and while I enjoyed it and thought highly of it, I was still having issues letting myself genuinely love things again, old and new. It was especially difficult because cartoons were my solace as a kid, when things got rough at home. I remember feeling sad because the show ended, and not getting the chance to love it again like I used to while it was still going.

By the time Steven Universe Future was announced, I was finally coming around. I was genuinely starting to feel excitement for art and animation again. I wasn’t expecting there to be a whole new epilogue series, but happily ever after, there we were! Prickly Pear aired, and the implications it left in terms of where the story was going did it. I was finally ready to let myself take the dive back into fandom in January of this year. My art blew up, something I wasn’t expecting considering my 2-year hiatus. Following this, I was invited into a discord server containing some of the biggest writers, artists, editors, and analysts in the fandom. I had no idea there were so many talented people in the fandom, some already with degrees, some getting their degrees-- creating stuff for it on the side just for fun. The amount of passion and productivity level here is insane, and so is the amount of discussion that has come out of it.

I didn’t realize it at first, but it was actually helping me gain back the courage to share ideas. I lost my confidence in pitching while I was taking the time to heal, and graduating meant there would no longer be a classroom setting I could practice in. This group helped immensely. 

I have made so many friends through this wonderful series, and I have so many fond memories talking to like-minded creatives, getting feedback and a myriad of sources for inspiration, as well as all of the memes and jokes and weekly theorizations that came about as we all waited on the edges of our seats for episodes to air. I needed this so badly, I needed to get back in touch with my roots, when I would go absolutely hog-wild over a cartoon I loved with people who loved it as much I did. Future has been a blessing for me in this way. I graduated feeling like I was back at square-one, but now I feel like I’m on my way again.

It’s 2020 and while I’m doing great right now, I am honestly still recovering from the total exhaustion that followed after graduating a few months ago, and finally leaving the campus where my life fell apart behind. Needless to say, watching Future was like looking into a mirror. Watching one of my favorite characters of all time-- one that grew up with me-- go through so many of the same things I went through not too long ago was absolutely insane to watch unfold. It’s such an important thing too, to show a character go through the process of breaking down over trauma and all the nasty things that come with it, and to have them go on the road to healing. Steven got that therapy. He wasn’t blamed. The gems were called out. The finale was everything I could have ever hoped for. The catharsis I experienced watching it was out of this world.

As I continue my own healing journey, I will always look up to the storyboard artists, revisionists, and designers that I have been following over these past 7 years, as well as the new ones introduced in Future. It's been such a joy watching these artists release their promo art for episodes, talk about their experiences working on the show, and post the work they've done for it alongside episodes airing.

Thank you Rebecca Sugar, the Crewniverse, and the fans, for making this such a truly wonderful and unique experience. Thank you for reminding me that I am, and always will be, an artist, a cartoonist, and a fan. Thank you, my followers, for the overwhelmingly positive response to my artwork. I have had so much fun interacting and discussing the show with you all again over these past few months. Steven Universe and it’s fandom will always have a special place in my heart, and it will always be a classic that I will return to for comfort and inspiration for decades to come. I am sad that the cartoon renaissance is over, but so many doors have been opened thanks to this show. I am so, so excited to see what this show will inspire in the future, and I hope one day I get the opportunity to be a part of that. 

Goodbye Steven, thank you for everything. I wish you healing, and I wish Rebecca and the team a well-deserved rest. ♥️

-Cynthia D.