#I figure that the devil surely has a mullet

[cozycryptidcorner]

Don’t be fooled by the smile he’s a goddamn menace and he wants you to peg him sooooooooooo bad u have no idea

[margotw10bis]

Crashing On Crush.JJK 7 [m]

crush!Jungkook x reader

Genre: smut; series; romance; angst

Words: 4.6k

Synopsis: What happens when your first encounter with your crush is Jungkook seeing your ass?

Warnings: sexual tension; broken heart; Calvin Klein JK (yeah, it's a warning)

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As much as you hate it, you do find Jungkook handsome and your heart has been pounding as soon as you noticed him. And you hate that you missed him - the last time you saw him was two weeks ago in the club. You are surprised to see him but also to see he has cut his hair. You can't help but missing his puffy shoulder-length hair and you want to slap you in the face for that thought. His black locks are now shorter in a mullet-style hair cut with a bang and are lightly curled. But gosh, he looks good. A little too good for your heart's sake.

You forget to how to breath when Jungkook stops a few meters from you. You feel your cheeks burning as well as your whole body and it's not because of the hot and suffocating July of Seoul because the A/C is on inside the art gallery. It's definitely because of Jeon Jungkook, the devil manifesting in a handsome man figure.

"Hi, uhm, I have an appointment with Aecha" He says after clearing his throat

"Follow me"

Even if you invite him to walk with you, it looks like you want to run away from him. Fortunately, you quickly arrive to Aecha's office. You knock and enter, Jungkook by your side. Your colleague offers him a way better smile than you.

"Jungkook, hi! Nice to meet you in person! We are so happy to work with you" Aecha's voice is warm and magically relaxes Jungkook

"Same here"

He tries to sound cheerful. He is really happy and proud that the gallery has approached him for the project, it will surely help him for his career but he does feel tensed to see you. He can't deny he hesitated to accept the job but then he saw it as an opportunity to set the record straight with you. He has been so grumpy that even Mina has stopped asking for his attention and let him work in his office at home. Jungkook has imagined hundred of scenarios of what happened between you and the guy after you left and every single one of them ended with you in his arms. By anger and frustration, he even broke his Apple Pencil and had to buy a new one.

"I am so sorry but I don't have time to talk details with you personally" Aecha continues, genuinely annoyed "But don't worry, Y/N is very professional and I'm sure you'll get along"

Your eyes widen and you throw distraught gazes at Aecha. 'Please, don't make me do that!' You silently beg her. But she doesn't get it or chooses to ignore it as she hands you the file. You do know the artists and the theme of the exhibition, as well as other details about the events related but you don't want to work with Jungkook. You know he is supposed to provide different visuals and supports, which means that you are going to deal with him for days. You're not sure your heart can handle it and you fear your determination to hate him will fail you - to be true, it has already began when he first appeared in the lobby.

Yet, you have no choice but to take the damn file with shaky hands and ask Jungkook to follow you in the meeting room.

A feeling of pain and jealousy fills you when you realize that his girlfriend has got to see him everyday and you have no doubt that he has looked damn hot every single day of these two weeks. Even now, in front of you, he is ridiculously handsome in his matching Calvin Klein denim jacket and pants, a white t-shirt finishing his perfect look. You can't help but wondering if his underwear is also signed CK, which makes you blush. Jungkook is fucking hot like that - would you dare to say that you are aroused by the absence of his usual all-black style?

You shake your head to erase those filthy thoughts and you sit down. You open and read the file, which gives you a good excuse to not look at Jungkook.

"Did you sleep with him?"

Jungkook's voice is neutral despite his pounding heart. He couldn't help but ask you. Even if it breaks his already broken heart, he has to know. His look-the-other-way part argues that if he knows, it'll get easier to let you go.

You immediately look up and open your mouth but no sound escapes it. Just by seeing you blushing hard, Jungkook knows. His fists clench and he is angry. Not at you, but at himself. You left with another man, you slept with another man because he pushed you away. He tries to convince himself that the pinch in his heart is due to his bruised man pride but deep down he knows that it's his feelings for you that have been rattled.

"It's none of your business" You eventually decide to answer "Let's not get personal and stick to a professional behavior"

Jungkook doesn't say anything but nods, poking on his inner cheek with his tongue.

Weirdly enough, you both concentrate on work and are able to have a peaceful conversation. Some details are discussed and Jungkook notes some ideas that get through his mind while you give him more informations.

"Can I see the art pieces? It'll help to get fully in the right mood" Jungkook asks at some point

"Sure"

You both walk through the art gallery and you can see that Jungkook truly appreciates the architecture of the building. You see his doe eyes sparkle with inspiration and you can practically see all the ideas that are currently filling his brain. Witnessing his passion melts your heart.

You enter the code of the storage room and motion Jungkook to step in. You explain that you haven't receive yet all the pieces but you add that he can look at them of the website of the gallery. His back facing you, a sketchbook and a pen in his hands, he is already quickly sketching a few visuals. You are quite intrigued by how fast his brain works and you move forward gingerly. You stand on your tiptoe to look upon his large shoulder and sneak on his sophisticate drawings.

"Wow" You whisper, almost in his ear, unintentionally

Jungkook was so focus on his work that he didn't notice you, but when you opened your mouth he startles and turns his head to your face suddenly. You are so close that your breathes are mixing. His eyes look right into yours but can't help going down to yours pretty lips. He gulps, a vivid memory of your several passionate kisses coming to his mind. He knows how you taste and he is dying to feel it again on his tongue. He wets his pierced lips with his tongue and the move attracts your glance too. A spontaneous wave of arousal goes straight to your lower belly.

Thankfully - or not -, staying this long on your tiptoe causes a cramp in your left calf. You immediately step back and wince, holding on the painful leg.

"What's going on?" Jungkook asks you, alarmed

"Cramp" You hiss

It doesn't take long to Jungkook to kneel down and massage your lower leg. You blush hard but convince yourself that it's due to the pain and not to Jungkook's warm palms on your skin. But why do you mentally praise you for wearing a yellow wrap dress and not your usual slacks?

"It's okay, you don't have to-" You speak up, weakly trying to push his hands away

"Let me do that for you"

His eye is so intense that you only manage to gulp and nod, letting Jungkook rubbing your calf to relax the muscles. You hiss as his fingers palp your aching leg, instinctively grabbing on his large shoulders to not fall. Feeling your hands on him, even through the thick fabric of his denim jacket and under this circumstances, Jungkook feels good. So fucking good. His whole body, that has been tensed for weeks now, softens under your touch. It's like he was physically missing something that your hands give him back. Someway, it's the first time you wish your cramp was lasting longer.

"It's gone" You say unsurely and, with regret from both sides, Jungkook stands up

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't. Please don't" You close your eyes in pain, not willing to remember once again what he did because you surely didn't forget

You hate him for breaking your heart but you don't hate him. Quite the opposite actually. You still love him, so fucking much. You can't change the past and you surely can't be best friend with him but you can make this professional relationship work. You want it for the gallery but also for Jungkook because you still think he is very talented and deserves the contract. That's why you take a deep breathe and start talking:

"Look, I know things have been... weird between us. Let's just put that aside and concentrate on work. I really want to feel good here so let's not make things more awkward. I think it would be nice if we could be colleagues"

Jungkook looks at you for a moment, surprised. He doesn't really know what to say when there are so many things that he wants to say - if that makes any sense. He runs a hand through his fresh cut hair.

"I'll work hard then, for you"

He doesn't specify if 'you' refers to the gallery and all your colleagues and artists involved or just you. But your heart doesn't care about the difference and skips a beat. You try to put a - weird - smile on your face to look relax.

"Welcome onboard then, Mr. Jeon"

————

Day 2 of working with Jungkook and you have to say that you are surprised how things go smoothly. You and Jungkook really get along - on a professional level - and your two brains seem to share the same ideas and vision of the project.

When he went home, Jungkook went straight to his home office and started sketching some visuals. On the one hand, he wants to work slowly only to get the chance to spend more time with you. But on the other hand, he has so many ideas for the different supports. The project clearly excites him and he hasn't been this motivated for a long time. Moreover, your cute yellow dress of the day seemed to be another reminder that you are like sunshine is his life and that everything looks better when you are around.

This morning, he has joined you in the same meeting room and gave you a cup of latte - he knows it's your favorite beverage - that he has bought on its way to the gallery. The sweet gesture didn't go unnoticed by your weak heart and your cheeks did redden. As soon as you two have sat down, Jungkook put his sketchbook and graphic tablet on the desk and explained the different concepts. You were so impressed by his work and how much he has done in just one evening. You couldn't help but being worried that he had not slept well and the dark circles under his beautiful eyes proved you no wrong.

You don't even notice it was lunch time until you hear a knock on the door. You look up and meet a sweet and cute familiar face.

"I didn't want to bother you but I've been waiting for fifteen minutes so I thought that you might have forgotten me"

Jongseob seems embarrassed and is blushing hardly. Your heart immediately melts and your smile widens. This doesn't go unnoticed by Jungkook who wonders how many men have stolen your heart. He can't help but feeling jealous. When will his possessiveness stop? Especially when you're not his.

"It's okay. Actually, I lost track of time. Please come in, Seobi"

You get up and give a big hug to Jongseob. The young man is quite impressed by Jungkook. His black outfit has returned and his tattoos are showing up under his oversize t-shirt. He does look intimidating and Jongseob feels a wave of protectiveness towards you, hoping that the stranger didn't give you a hard time.

You have no idea of what is going on in Jongseob's brain and you turn back to Jungkook.

"Let's meet up in two days so you have time to make the changes we've talked about. Then, we will show everything to Aecha" You say with a smile and Jungkook simply nods.

You notice the way he is staring at your young friend and realize that they don't know each other.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't introduce you-" You are cut off by Jongseob

"I'm Kim Jongseob"

You are surprised by his confident and quite cold tone. It's so not like him. You even feel his arm easily wrapping around your shoulders. When did he get this tall? You look at him, asking him with your eyes what the hell he is doing. But Jongseob is completely focus on the black-hair man.

"Jeon Jungkook"

Jongseob's eyes widen and immediately turn to you. Your face expression confirms what he thinks: it's the man who broke your heart. If you didn't say a word on your Graduation Day, you couldn't lie when a few days later Jongseob has asked you about how it went when you confessed your feelings to your crush. Even if you tried really hard to not cry in front of him, you couldn't stop a few tears. Jongseob was so heartbroken for you and has spent the day with you at your place, eating ice-creams and watching Disney movies.

The body of your usual so cute friend tenses immediately and he leaves your shoulders to step in front of you, protectively. His eyes narrow when he gazes at Jungkook.

"I hope he hasn't done anything to you" He says with his jaw clenched, talking to you but looking at Jungkook

A scoff escapes Jungkook's lips. Who the hell is this kid? He doesn't know anything about him and yet, he is judging him. Only if he knew that at his age, Jungkook was... No, it's better if he doesn't know, otherwise you would know too. And he surely doesn't want you to know.

"Jongseob" You say softly, a hand on his shoulder "Jungkook is working with me, everything is fine"

"Can't someone else deal with him? Why it has to be you?" His voice is more gentle now and he is looking at you, finally

"No, and it's okay. I promise"

"What are you going to do about it, uh?"

Your eyes widen in surprise while Jungkook smirks and then pokes his tongue in his inner cheek in a provocative way. He doesn't even know why he opened his mouth in the first place. Maybe he was just tired of everyone treating him like shit or maybe he wanted you to know that your little guy couldn't compete with him. 'Stupid fucking ego' he thinks.

"What did you say?" Jongseob responds aggressively, taking a step further and Jungkook does the same

"I said, what are you fucking going to do about it?" Jungkook articulates each single word, his jaws clenched

You start to panic and take place between the two men.

"Stop it now, the both of you" You try to be firm but your voice is a little shaky

"You were right, he's a fucking asshole" Jongseob goads

"What did you say?" Jungkook barks this time, ready to throw punches in this little fucker's face

"Jongseob!" You shout "Go wait outside, now"

You are so tensed that your whole body is shaking with adrenaline. What are you going to do if they start fighting? But you release the air of your lungs when Jongseob does as you say. You look at Jungkook to try to know what he is thinking but his features are too neutral, except for his gritted teeth.

"Jungkook, I-I never said that" You try after a moment of silence

"It's okay" He sighs, trying to relax the tension in his body "Even if you said it, you had every reason"

You stand in front of him, not knowing what to do. You are unsettled when a little sneer escapes Jungkook's mouth. You look at him, questioning him with your eyes.

"At least you have people to protect you"

"Jungkook-"

"No, it's okay. I see you on Friday with the finished visuals and support designs"

Jungkook grabs his stuff and goes away, leaving you breathless and heart pounding.

————

"Noona, I'm sorry"

Jongseob has spent the whole lunch apologizing but you haven't said a word. You are so disappointed in his behavior but you are also destabilized by the way you feel angry at your friend for attacking Jungkook. You shouldn't feel that way, it's true that Jungkook broke your heart but why do you still want your friends to have a good impression of him? It doesn't make any fucking sense and you sigh in frustration.

"Stop apologizing. What you did was wrong Jongseob"

"I know but he... he was just there and he broke your heart! Are you really okay working with him?!"

You take the time to think. Are you okay with it? Honestly, yes. And more honestly, you are happy to work with him. You wish the reason of that was because Jungkook works well but it's not: the reason is that you want to be with him, in anyway possible.

"Yes, so please stop. Maybe you don't want to hear it or you don't understand but Jungkook is nice"

"How can you say that?!" Jongseob gasps

"He is, really. What he did to me was wrong but beside that, he has been really nice to me"

And it's true. Objectively, the cheating-on-his-girlfriend-with-you part put aside, Jungkook has been nice to you. The two days you have spent working with him showed you a new face of him: the passionate yet so considering of other's opinions side. He has carefully listened to you, has taken the time to explain to you technical things about designs and has worked hand-in-hand with you to provide the perfect visuals. Even beside that, the morning coffee and the way he has hold the chair for you to sit down or the way he has turn off the A/C when he noticed you were cold, proves he is a good person. Maybe a little selfishly too, you want to believe that you have fallen for a good guy and not a shit head so the whole story wasn't you being completely wrong about him.

"Look, I'm a big girl. I know you're worried but everything's fine, Seobi" You smile at Jongseob, trying to calm him down

"Okay..." He sighs "But if he tries anything, please tell me and I swear I'll punch him in the face, just for him to know he can't mess with you"

Your heart softens at his pouty face and you promise. You know Jongseob just wants to protect his Noona but deep down you know Jungkook won't try to hurt you again.

————

You haven't heard of Jungkook until he shows up on Friday for your expected meeting. You have sweaty hands, not knowing how will be things between the two of you. You give him an unsure smile when you welcome him and you feel released that Jungkook is back to his old and nice self. He shows you the final project and everything is perfect. You compliment his work and you may notice a slight blush on his cheeks.

You waste no time and you two head up to Aecha's office so she can approve, what she definitely does. Your colleague is really impressed and praises the both of you. Your chest is full of pride that you managed the situation. You are really excited to be more involved in one of the gallery's projects.

To celebrate your success, you invite Jungkook at a nearby coffee. It doesn't surprise you anymore that Jungkook orders you a latte but it's appealing to your weak and soft heart. Coffees in hands, you sit down at a table.

"I'm so happy that your visuals have been approved! I can't wait to see the posters in real life and on the big screens of the gallery!" You tell him excited, which makes him giggle.

"I'm glad too. Tell me if you need help with the printer guy, I know that sometimes they can be a little hard to handle and delay things until you lose your mind"

"I'll sure do"

You feel so good joking with Jungkook. It feels like before you discovered about Mina, back when everything was so natural and delightful between you two. A small wave of nostalgia washes over your body and a small part of you wishes you didn't know about the girlfriend. However, the bigger part of you feels better to know that he didn't cheat on his girlfriend with you more than that.

"I have to tell you something"

Jungkook's serious tone and face make you stressed. You wonder what other bomb he is going to throw at you and how you'll manage to survive. 'Please, tell me there is no other secret girlfriends!' You pray

"Mina" He starts and your heart sinks by hearing the name, you still feel so guilty towards her even if you didn't know "She is not my girlfriend"

What the hell?!

Your eyes almost roll of your sockets by surprise. You are speechless. Does he lie? But he is looking straight into your eyes and you don't see anything but pain. But if she is not his girlfriend, why did he lie about lying to you? It doesn't make sense!

"She is my best friend, well at least back in Busan"

"But, why?" Is all you manage to say, your brain is completely upside down

"It's just an old habit of us, saying to other people we're dating. When we were younger, we were so close that most people thought that we were actually a couple. At some point, it was kind of a joke to confirm it"

Jungkook's nostalgic smile is not happy but quite sad and your heart squeezes. You wonder what caused him such pain but you don't want to push him.

"Maybe, back then, there were more than friendly feelings between us but it's not the case anymore. I just want you to know that nothing happened between Mina and I"

"Why'd you tell me that?"

Jungkook's eyes grow big in surprise. He doesn't really know why he tells you the truth. Perhaps he just doesn't want you to hurt because of this, because of him.

"I don't know..." He sighs "I just wanted you to know"

You don't know what you feel. On the one hand, you are relived that he didn't cheat on his girlfriend with you, but on the other hand, you are still heartbroken because he has still rejected you - and the reason was not him having a girlfriend but just not wanting to be with you. And that hurts like hell.

Jungkook looks at you with his big doe eyes, biting on his bottom lip, while he waits for you to say something. But honestly, you don't know what to say. So he keeps going:

"I haven't seen her in years but she came up to me. She needed some help. Things are-were complicated. I'm sorry if I hurt you, I really didn't want that"

"I understand" You don't but what else could you say?

"Y/N" He says gently, grabbing your hand at the other side of the table "I am really, really sorry"

The warmth of his hand goes straight to your heart and cheeks. Why does he have to do that? It's so hard not to fall for him when he acts like that! You want to hug him and tell him you forget everything as long as he is with you. But you can't do that, so you smile instead.

"I wish I could go back and do things right with you. Maybe... maybe we could be friends or something?"

Jungkook winces at the way his thoughts have turned into words. It sounds so dumb and it's not really what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask you if you would accept to see him again, like before. Like when you were supposed to have a date at the Lotte aquarium.

"I guess we could be friends" You say in a small voice, almost a whisper

Jungkook's heart jumps in his chest and he knows he'll try everything to make it up to you. But first, he has to deal with Mina.

————

Since you have done a great job with the communication campaign with Jungkook, Aecha sends you over to meet the print firm. You are walking around in Seocho, a district of Seoul, but take the time to follow the Han River boardwalk. The heat and humidity is almost unbearable but the view is so beautiful. The sun is mirroring on the water. You close your eyes, feeling the D Vitamin entering your body. You hum in contentment.

Nevertheless, the universe couldn't let you in peace for five minutes. Your blood runs cold when a familiar but non welcoming face appears right in front of you. Mina. You don't really know how to act in front of her now that you know she isn't really Jungkook's girlfriend.

"Hi" You tell her with an unsure voice

"Hi, Y/N right?"

Mina's smile is bright but not really friendly. Something in her behavior makes you uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, I can't stay long, Jungkook is waiting for me at home" She takes a dig at you

Her little scornful tone drives you crazy. Before you can even think properly, you open your mouth:

"Jungkook told me the truth. You are not really together"

For one second, Mina seems unsettled but she hides it quickly. You feel your heart beating faster and your hands freezing, just as if you were ready for a fight. It might not be a physical one but it will surely be punches with words.

"Did he?"

You stay silent, waiting for her to set the mood. You don't have hard feelings for her. You could be friends, if she wants to.

"Look, you seem like a nice girl" Although it doesn't sound like a compliment in her mouth "But I'm not sure you are the good person for Kookie"

"I think he's old enough to decide for himself"

"We might not be an official couple but we do share something special. We've been best friends for years, we have been through so many things, you won't ever be able to understand. I know him but I'm not sure you can say the same"

You are taken aback.

"I-I do know him" You sound less confident than you wanted

"Oh, really? Did he tell you about his past?" Mina smirks and you frown, confirming what she was thinking "I just don't want you to be hurt, Y/N. Jungkook and I are meant to be together. It might take some time but it will happen eventually. If you stay in between, you'll only get your heart broken"

Your watery eyes blur your vision. You don't know how Mina manages to do it but her words are so sharp that you could swear she is telling the truth. Maybe it's a result of her magnetic aura.

"I love him"

It's the final blow for you. An intense squeeze hits your cardiac muscle. You don't even know who you are anymore. You have read too many books, you have seen too many movies not to know. All along, you thought you were the main character of the story. But you're not. You're the second female lead in Jungkook's story: the one who only exists to make him realize that his true love has been in front of him since the beginning. There is no better destiny than two best friends finally aware of their true feelings. Fate, cruel as ever, put you on Jungkook's path for him to acknowledge that Mina is the right one for him.

And that fucking hurts.

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[margotw10]

Crashing on Crush. JJK (m)

Pairing : crush!Jungkook x Female Reader

Synopsis : You are forced to work with Jungkook but it's actually the best thing that could happen.

Words : 4.7k

Warnings : explicit language; (not on this chapter)

A/n : Hi! So many things are going to happen, especially regarding Jungkook's past! Pls check the previous ones :) Don't hesitate to comment. Please keep in mind that English is not my first language. We love Mathilde for fixing my grammar mistakes <3

Ch. 1---- Ch. 2---- Ch. 3---- Ch. 4---- Ch.5---- Ch. 6---- Ch. 7---- Ch. 8---- Ch. 9----

As much as you hate it, you do find Jungkook handsome and your heart has been pounding as soon as you noticed him. And you hate that you missed him - the last time you saw him was two weeks ago in the club. You are surprised to see him but also to see he has cut his hair. You can’t help but missing his puffy shoulder-length hair and you want to slap you in the face for that thought. His black locks are now shorter in a mullet-style hair cut with a bang and are lightly curled. But gosh, he looks good. A little too good for your heart’s sake. 

You forget to how to breath when Jungkook stops a few meters from you. You feel your cheeks burning as well as your whole body and it’s not because of the hot and suffocating July of Seoul because the A/C is on inside the art gallery. It’s definitely because of Jeon Jungkook, the devil manifesting in a handsome man figure. 

"Hi, uhm, I have an appointment with Aecha" He says after clearing his throat

"Follow me"

Even if you invite him to walk with you, it looks like you want to run away from him. Fortunately, you quickly arrive to Aecha’s office. You knock and enter, Jungkook by your side. Your colleague offers him a way better smile than you.

"Jungkook, hi! Nice to meet you in person! We are so happy to work with you" Aecha’s voice is warm and magically relaxes Jungkook

"Same here"

He tries to sound cheerful. He is really happy and proud that the gallery has approached him for the project, it will surely help him for his career but he does feel tensed to see you. He can’t deny he hesitated to accept the job but then he saw it as an opportunity to set the record straight with you. He has been so grumpy that even Mina has stopped asking for his attention and let him work in his office at home. Jungkook has imagined hundred of scenarios of what happened between you and the guy after you left and every single one of them ended with you in his arms. By anger and frustration, he even broke his Apple Pencil and had to buy a new one. 

"I am so sorry but I don’t have time to talk details with you personally" Aecha continues, genuinely annoyed "But don’t worry, Y/N is very professional and I’m sure you’ll get along"

Your eyes widen and you throw distraught gazes at Aecha. ‘Please, don’t make me do that!’ You silently beg her. But she doesn’t get it or chooses to ignore it as she hands you the file. You do know the artists and the theme of the exhibition, as well as other details about the events related but you don’t want to work with Jungkook. You know he is supposed to provide different visuals and supports, which means that you are going to deal with him for days. You’re not sure your heart can handle it and you fear your determination to hate him will fail you - to be true, it has already began when he first appeared in the lobby. 

Yet, you have no choice but to take the damn file with shaky hands and ask Jungkook to follow you in the meeting room. 

A feeling of pain and jealousy fills you when you realize that his girlfriend has got to see him everyday and you have no doubt that he has looked damn hot every single day of these two weeks. Even now, in front of you, he is ridiculously handsome in his matching Calvin Klein denim jacket and pants, a white t-shirt finishing his perfect look. You can’t help but wondering if his underwear is also signed CK, which makes you blush. Jungkook is fucking hot like that - would you dare to say that you are aroused by the absence of his usual all-black style? 

You shake your head to erase those filthy thoughts and you sit down. You open and read the file, which gives you a good excuse to not look at Jungkook.

"Did you sleep with him?"

Jungkook’s voice is neutral despite his pounding heart. He couldn’t help but ask you. Even if it breaks his already broken heart, he has to know. His look-the-other-way part argues that if he knows, it’ll get easier to let you go. 

You immediately look up and open your mouth but no sound escapes it. Just by seeing you blushing hard, Jungkook knows. His fists clench and he is angry. Not at you, but at himself. You left with another man, you slept with another man because he pushed you away. He tries to convince himself that the pinch in his heart is due to his bruised man pride but deep down he knows that it’s his feelings for you that have been rattled. 

"It’s none of your business" You eventually decide to answer "Let’s not get personal and stick to a professional behavior"

Jungkook doesn’t say anything but nods, poking on his inner cheek with his tongue. 

Weirdly enough, you both concentrate on work and are able to have a peaceful conversation. Some details are discussed and Jungkook notes some ideas that get through his mind while you give him more informations. 

"Can I see the art pieces? It’ll help to get fully in the right mood" Jungkook asks at some point

"Sure"

You both walk through the art gallery and you can see that Jungkook truly appreciates the architecture of the building. You see his doe eyes sparkle with inspiration and you can practically see all the ideas that are currently filling his brain. Witnessing his passion melts your heart. 

You enter the code of the storage room and motion Jungkook to step in. You explain that you haven’t receive yet all the pieces but you add that he can look at them of the website of the gallery. His back facing you, a sketchbook and a pen in his hands, he is already quickly sketching a few visuals. You are quite intrigued by how fast his brain works and you move forward gingerly. You strand on your tiptoe to look upon his large shoulder and sneak on his sophisticate drawings. 

"Wow" You whisper, almost in his ear, unintentionally 

Jungkook was so focus on his work that he didn’t notice you, but when you opened your mouth he startles and turns his head to your face suddenly. You are so close that your breathes are mixing. His eyes look right into yours but can’t help going down to yours pretty lips. He gulps, a vivid memory of your several passionate kisses coming to his mind. He knows how you taste and he is dying to feel it again on his tongue. He wets his pierced lips with his tongue and the move attracts your glance too. A spontaneous wave of arousal goes straight to your lower belly. 

Thankfully - or not -, staying this long on your tiptoe causes a cramp in your left calf. You immediately step back and wince, holding on the painful leg. 

"What’s going on?" Jungkook asks you, alarmed

"Cramp" You hiss

It doesn’t take long to Jungkook to kneel down and massage your lower leg. You blush hard but convince yourself that it’s due to the pain and not to Jungkook’s warm palms on your skin. But why do you mentally praise you for wearing a yellow wrap dress and not your usual slacks?

"It’s okay, you don’t have to-" You speak up, weakly trying to push his hands away

"Let me do that for you"

His eye is so intense that you only manage to gulp and nod, letting Jungkook rubbing your calf to relax the muscles. You hiss as his fingers palp your aching leg, instinctively grabbing on his large shoulders to not fall. Feeling your hands on him, even through the thick fabric of his denim jacket and under this circumstances, Jungkook feels good. So fucking good. His whole body, that has been tensed for weeks now, softens under your touch. It’s like he was physically missing something that your hands give him back. Someway, it’s the first time you wish your cramp was lasting longer. 

"It’s gone" You say unsurely and, with regret from both sides, Jungkook stands up

"I’m sorry-"

"Don’t. Please don’t" You close your eyes in pain, not willing to remember once again what he did because you surely didn’t forget

You hate him for breaking your heart but you don’t hate him. Quite the opposite actually. You still love him, so fucking much. You can’t change the past and you surely can’t be best friend with him but you can make this professional relationship work. You want it for the gallery but also for Jungkook because you still think he is very talented and deserves the contract. That’s why you take a deep breathe and start talking:

"Look, I know things have been… weird between us. Let’s just put that aside and concentrate on work. I really want to feel good here so let’s not make things more awkward. I think it would be nice if we could be colleagues"

Jungkook looks at you for a moment, surprised. He doesn’t really know what to say when there are so many things that he wants to say - if that makes any sense. He runs a hand through his fresh cut hair.

"I’ll work hard then, for you"

He doesn’t specify if ‘you’ refers to the gallery and all your colleagues and artists involved or just you. But your heart doesn’t care about the difference and skips a beat. You try to put a - weird - smile on your face to look relax.

"Welcome onboard then, Mr. Jeon"

————

Day 2 of working with Jungkook and you have to say that you are surprised how things go smoothly. You and Jungkook really get along - on a professional level - and your two brains seem to share the same ideas and vision of the project. 

When he went home, Jungkook went straight to his home office and started sketching some visuals. On the one hand, he wants to work slowly only to get the chance to spend more time with you. But on the other hand, he has so many ideas for the different supports. The project clearly excites him and he hasn’t been this motivated for a long time. Moreover, your cute yellow dress of the day seemed to be another reminder that you are like sunshine is his life and that everything looks better when you are around. 

This morning, he has joined you in the same meeting room and gave you a cup of latte - he knows it’s your favorite beverage - that he has bought on its way to the gallery. The sweet gesture didn’t go unnoticed by your weak heart and your cheeks did redden. As soon as you two have sat down, Jungkook put his sketchbook and graphic tablet on the desk and explained the different concepts. You were so impressed by his work and how much he has done in just one evening. You couldn’t help but being worried that he had not slept well and the dark circles under his beautiful eyes proved you no wrong. 

You don’t even notice it was lunch time until you hear a knock on the door. You look up and meet a sweet and cute familiar face. 

"I didn’t want to bother you but I’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes so I thought that you might have forgotten me"

Jongseob seems embarrassed and is blushing hardly. Your heart immediately melts and your smile widens. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook who wonders how many men have stolen your heart. He can’t help but feeling jealous. When will his possessiveness stop? Especially when you’re not his.

"It’s okay. Actually, I lost track of time. Please come in, Seobi" 

You get up and give a big hug to Jongseob. The young man is quite impressed by Jungkook. His black outfit has returned and his tattoos are showing up under his oversize t-shirt. He does look intimidating and Jongseob feels a wave of protectiveness towards you, hoping that the stranger didn’t give you a hard time. 

You have no idea of what is going on in Jongseob’s brain and you turn back to Jungkook.

"Let’s meet up in two days so you have time to make the changes we’ve talked about. Then, we will show everything to Aecha" You say with a smile and Jungkook simply nods.

You notice the way he is staring at your young friend and realize that they don’t know each other.

"Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t introduce you-" You are cut off by Jongseob

"I’m Kim Jongseob"

You are surprised by his confident and quite cold tone. It’s so not like him. You even feel his arm easily wrapping around your shoulders. When did he get this tall? You look at him, asking him with your eyes what the hell he is doing. But Jongseob is completely focus on the black-hair man.

"Jeon Jungkook"

Jongseob’s eyes widen and immediately turn to you. Your face expression confirms what he thinks: it’s the man who broke your heart. If you didn’t say a word on your Graduation Day, you couldn’t lie when a few days later Jongseob has asked you about how it went when you confessed your feelings to your crush. Even if you tried really hard to not cry in front of him, you couldn’t stop a few tears. Jongseob was so heartbroken for you and has spent the day with you at your place, eating ice-creams and watching Disney movies. 

The body of your usual so cute friend tenses immediately and he leaves your shoulders to step in front of you, protectively. His eyes narrow when he gazes at Jungkook. 

"I hope he hasn’t done anything to you" He says with his jaw clenched, talking to you but looking at Jungkook

A scoff escapes Jungkook’s lips. Who the hell is this kid? He doesn’t know anything about him and yet, he is judging him. Only if he knew that at his age, Jungkook was… No, it’s better if he doesn’t know, otherwise you would know too. And he surely doesn’t want you to know. 

"Jongseob" You say softly, a hand on his shoulder "Jungkook is working with me, everything is fine"

"Can’t someone else deal with him? Why it has to be you?" His voice is more gentle now and he is looking at you, finally

"No, and it’s okay. I promise"

"What are you going to do about it, uh?"

Your eyes widen in surprise while Jungkook smirks and then pokes his tongue in his inner cheek in a provocative way. He doesn’t even know why he opened his mouth in the first place. Maybe he was just tired of everyone treating him like shit or maybe he wanted you to know that your little guy couldn’t compete with him. ‘Stupid fucking ego’ he thinks. 

"What did you say?" Jongseob responds aggressively, taking a step further and Jungkook does the same

"I said, what are you fucking going about it?" Jungkook articulates each single word, his jaws clenched

You start to panic and take place between the two men.

"Stop it now, the both of you" You try to be firm but your voice is a little shaky 

"You were right, he’s a fucking asshole" Jongseob goads

"What did you say?" Jungkook barks this time, ready to throw punches in this little fucker’s face

"Jongseob!" You shout "Go wait outside, now"

You are so tensed that your whole body is shaking with adrenaline. What are you going to do if they start fighting? But you release the air of your lungs when Jongseob does as you say. You look at Jungkook to try to know what he is thinking but his features are too neutral, except for his gritted teeth. 

"Jungkook, I-I never said that" You try after a moment of silence

"It’s okay" He sighs, trying to relax the tension in his body "Even if you said it, you had every reason"

You stand in front of him, not knowing what to do. You are unsettled when a little sneer escapes Jungkook’s mouth. You look at him, questioning him with your eyes.

"At least you have people to protect you"

"Jungkook-"

"No, it’s okay. I see you on Friday with the finished visuals and support designs"

Jungkook grabs his stuff and goes away, leaving you breathless and heart pounding. 

————

"Noona, I’m sorry"

Jongseob has spent the whole lunch apologizing but you haven’t said a word. You are so disappointed in his behavior but you are also destabilized by the way you feel angry at your friend for attacking Jungkook. You shouldn’t feel that way, it’s true that Jungkook broke your heart but why do you still want your friends to have a good impression of him? It doesn’t make any fucking sense and you sigh in frustration.

"Stop apologizing. What you did was wrong Jongseob"

"I know but he… he was just there and he broke your heart! Are you really okay working with him?!"

You take the time to think. Are you okay with it? Honestly, yes. And more honestly, you are happy to work with him. You wish the reason of that was because Jungkook works well but it’s not: the reason is that you want to be with him, in anyway possible. 

"Yes, so please stop. Maybe you don’t want to hear it or you don’t understand but Jungkook is nice"

"How can you say that?!" Jongseob gasps 

"He is, really. What he did to me was wrong but beside that, he has been really nice to me"

And it’s true. Objectively, the cheating-on-his-girlfriend-with-you part put aside, Jungkook has been nice to you. The two days you have spent working with him showed you a new face of him: the passionate yet so considering of other’s opinions side. He has carefully listened to you, has taken the time to explain to you technical things about designs and has worked hand-in-hand with you to provide the perfect visuals. Even beside that, the morning coffee and the way he has hold the chair for you to sit down or the way he has turn off the A/C when he noticed you were cold, proves he is a good person. Maybe a little selfishly too, you want to believe that you have fallen for a good guy and not a shit head so the whole story wasn’t you being completely wrong about him. 

"Look, I’m a big girl. I know you’re worried but everything’s fine, Seobi" You smile at Jongseob, trying to calm him down

"Okay…" He sighs "But if he tries anything, please tell me and I swear I’ll punch him in the face, just for him to know he can’t mess with you"

Your heart softens at his pouty face and you promise. You know Jongseob just wants to protect his Noona but deep down you know Jungkook won’t try to hurt you again. 

————

You haven’t heard of Jungkook until he shows up on Friday for your expected meeting. You have sweaty hands, not knowing how will be things between the two of you. You give him an unsure smile when you welcome him and you feel released that Jungkook is back to his old and nice self. He shows you the final project and everything is perfect. You compliment his work and you may notice a slight blush on his cheeks. 

You waste no time and you two head up to Aecha’s office so she can approve, what she definitely does. Your colleague is really impressed and praises the both of you. Your chest is full of pride that you managed the situation. You are really excited to be more involved in one of the gallery’s projects. 

To celebrate your success, you invite Jungkook at a nearby coffee. It doesn’t surprise you anymore that Jungkook orders you a latte but it’s appealing to your weak and soft heart. Coffees in hands, you sit down at a table.

"I’m so happy that your visuals have been approved! I can’t wait to see the posters in real life and on the big screens of the gallery!" You tell him excited, which makes him giggle. 

"I’m glad too. Tell me if you need help with the printer guy, I know that sometimes they can be a little hard to handle and delete things until you lose your mind"

"I’ll sure do"

You feel so good joking with Jungkook. It feels like before you discovered about Mina, back when everything was so natural and delightful between you two. A small wave of nostalgia washes over your body and a small part of you wishes you didn’t know about the girlfriend. However, the bigger part of you feels better to know that he didn’t cheat on his girlfriend with you more than that. 

"I have to tell you something"

Jungkook’s serious tone and face make you stressed. You wonder what other bomb he is going to throw at you and how you’ll manage to survive. ‘Please, tell me there is no other secret girlfriends!’ You pray

"Mina" He starts and your heart sinks by hearing the name, you still feel so guilty towards her even if you didn’t know "She is not my girlfriend"

What the hell?!

Your eyes almost roll of your sockets by surprise. You are speechless. Does he lie? But he is looking straight into your eyes and you don’t see anything but pain. But if she is not his girlfriend, why did he lie about lying to you? It doesn’t make sense!

"She is my best friend, well at least back in Busan"

"But, why?" Is all you manage to say, your brain is completely upside down

"It’s just an old habit of us, saying to other people we’re dating. When we were younger, we were so close that most people thought that we were actually a couple. At some point, it was kind of a joke to confirm it" 

Jungkook’s nostalgic smile is not happy but quite sad and your heart squeezes. You wonder what caused him such pain but you don’t want to push him. 

"Maybe, back then, there were more than friendly feelings between us but it’s not the case anymore. I just want you to know that nothing happened between Mina and I"

"Why'd you tell me that?"

Jungkook’s eyes grow big in surprise. He doesn’t really know why he tells you the truth. Perhaps he just doesn’t want you to hurt because of this, because of him. 

"I don’t know…" He sighs "I just wanted you to know"

You don’t know what you feel. On the one hand, you are relived that he didn’t cheat on his girlfriend with you, but on the other hand, you are still heartbroken because he has still rejected you - and the reason was not him having a girlfriend but just not wanting to be with you. And that hurts like hell. 

Jungkook looks at you with his big doe eyes, biting on his bottom lip, while he waits for you to say something. But honestly, you don’t know what to say. So he keeps going:

"I haven’t seen her in years but she came up to me. She needed some help. Things are-were complicated. I’m sorry if I hurt you, I really didn’t want that"

"I understand" You don’t but what else could you say? 

"Y/N" He says gently, grabbing your hand at the other side of the table "I am really, really sorry"

The warmth of his hand goes straight to your heart and cheeks. Why does he have to do that? It’s so hard not to fall for him when he acts like that! You want to hug him and tell him you forget everything as long as he is with you. But you can’t do that, so you smile instead. 

"I wish I could go back and do things right with you. Maybe… maybe you could be friends or something?"

Jungkook winces at the way his thoughts have turned into words. It sounds so dumb and it’s not really what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask you if you would accept to see him again, like before. Like when you were supposed to have a date at the Lotte aquarium. 

"I guess we could be friends" You say in a small voice, almost a whisper

Jungkook’s heart jumps in his chest and he knows he’ll try everything to make it up to you. But first, he has to deal with Mina. 

————

Since you have done a great job with the communication campaign with Jungkook, Aecha sends you over to meet the print firm. You are walking around in Seocho, a district of Seoul, but take the time to follow the Han River boardwalk. The heat and humidity is almost unbearable but the view is so beautiful. The sun is mirroring on the water. You close your eyes, feeling the D Vitamin entering your body. You hum in contentment. 

Nevertheless, the universe couldn’t let you in peace for five minutes. Your blood runs cold when a familiar but non welcoming face appears right in front of you. Mina. You don’t really know how to act in front of her now that you know she isn’t really Jungkook’s girlfriend. 

"Hi" You tell her with an unsure voice

"Hi, Y/N right?"

Mina’s smile is bright but not really friendly. Something in her behavior makes you uncomfortable. 

"I’m sorry, I can’t stay long, Jungkook is wanting for me at home" She takes a dig at you

Her little scornful tone drives you crazy. Before you can even think properly, you open your mouth:

"Jungkook told me the truth. You are not really together"

For one second, Mina seems unsettled but she hides it quickly. You feel your heart beating faster and your hands freezing, just as if you were ready for a fight. It might not be a physical one but it will surely be punches with words. 

"Did he?"

You stay silent, waiting for her to set the mood. You don’t have hard feelings for her. You could be friends, if she wants to. 

"Look, you seem like a nice girl" Although it doesn’t sound like a compliment in her mouth "But I’m not sure you are the good person for Kookie"

"I think he’s old enough to decide for himself"

"We might not be an official couple but we do share something special. We’ve been best friends for years, we have been through so many things, you won’t ever be able to understand. I know him but I’m not sure you can say the same"

You are taken aback.

"I-I do know him" You sound less confident than you wanted

"Oh, really? Did he tell you about his past?" Mina smirks and you frown, confirming what she was thinking "I just don’t want you to be hurt, Y/N. Jungkook and I are meant to be together. It might take some time but it will happen eventually. If you stay in between, you’ll only get your heart broken"

Your watery eyes blur your vision. You don’t know how Mina manages to do it but her words are so sharp that you could swear she is telling the truth. Maybe it’s a result of her magnetic aura. 

"I love him"

It’s the final blow for you. An intense squeeze hits your cardiac muscle. You don’t even know who you are anymore. You have read too many books, you have seen too many movies not to know. All along, you thought you were the main character of the story. But you’re not. You’re the second female lead in Jungkook’s story: the one who only exists to make him realize that his true love has been in front of him since the beginning. There is no better destiny than two best friends finally aware of their true feelings. Fate, cruel as ever, put you on Jungkook’s path for him to acknowledge that Mina is the right one for him. 

And that fucking hurts. 

[actress4him]

Whumptober 2020 - Day 8

Today is our first strictly emotional whump day...only a couple of brief, non-graphic mentions of an already existing injury. Also, today’s fic is really freakin’ sad. Like, I almost made myself cry. So, sorry ahead of time.

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Day 8 - Abandoned/Isolation

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Warnings: fantastic racism, not really suicide ideation but kinda?, abandonment, solitary confinement, disassociation, imprisonment, foster home mention, self-loathing, restraints, unflattering depiction of everyone except Keith and sorta Shiro, ambiguous ending

“I’m...part Galra.”

“I...I’m sorry, what?”

Keith ducked his head and cut his eyes to the side to avoid looking at Allura. “The knife I got from my mom. It’s...something that every Blade carries. And the only way to activate one is to...have Galra blood.”

“And you activated yours?”

His eyes darted up to Coran’s unreadable expression and back down again. “Yes.”

“Wait, but that makes no sense,” Lance exclaimed, and Keith could imagine his hands flailing as he spoke. “He’s human. He’s obviously human.”

Hunk hummed in agreement. “Yeah, if he was part Galra you’d think there’d be some sign of it. Something...purple, or something, I dunno.”

“Or a little more height,” Lance snorted.

Shiro’s hand dropped onto his uninjured shoulder, and he jumped. “Well, we don’t know for sure how much of him is actually Galra. Obviously he ended up with mostly human genes, at least when it comes to appearance.”

“Ah, but other than appearance...that actually explains so much about Mullet. Hot-headed, reckless, socially inept -”

Normally Keith would have snapped back by then, but he just drew his shoulders farther up toward his ears, arms crossed tightly across his chest as if he could keep himself from falling apart. It was Shiro who broke in for him.

“Lance, that’s enou-”

“When were you planning on telling us?”

The question took him so much by surprise that he jerked his head up, regretting it as soon as he saw Allura’s stony glare. “W-what?”

Sparks seemed to shoot from her impossibly blue eyes. “When were you planning on telling us your heritage, before this accidental reveal today? Sometime after you betrayed us, I suppose?”

Keith couldn’t seem to catch his breath. “No, n-...I didn’t know, I swear. This is...this is as much of a surprise to me as it is to all of you.” He knew the news wouldn’t be taken well, especially by Allura, though Coran, Shiro, and Pidge were next on the list. But he never expected to be accused of hiding it from them, of planning to betray Voltron. “I’m not...I would never…”

“Never what, turn on Voltron? If you’re really Galra, which I assume you wouldn’t lie about that, then it’s in your very nature.”

Shiro gave his shoulder a squeeze and spoke up. “Princess, as the person here who has known Keith the longest, I can assure you that what he says is true. He didn’t know until today.”

“And how would you know that?” she shot back. “How do you know that he hasn’t just been hiding it from you, like he has from all of us?”

“Because I know him.” Shiro waved a hand to include the others in the room. “We all know him! Right? We’ve been working alongside him all these months...he’s helped save so many people, including each of us! Regardless of whether he knew or not - which I still believe he didn’t - he’s a good person. Being part Galra doesn’t define him.” It was an echo of the words he had told Keith on the way back to the Castle. Keith still wasn’t sure that he believed them anymore than the rest of the room’s occupants.

Hunk was the first to reply, hesitantly. “I...I don’t know, man. I mean, I kinda really...don’t know him all that well? I’d like to say I do, but…”

“But Mullet never really lets anybody get to know him.” Lance sounded much less hesitant, and more and more like he was siding with Allura. “He’s always so standoffish. I thought it was just because he was a jerk, but maybe it was because he was keeping a secret. Or because he was plotting to kill us all.”

Shiro gaped at him, flabbergasted. “Lance! You don’t really think that, do you?”

But he did. They all did, to some extent or another, Keith could see it. They all thought he was some kind of monster, and...maybe he was.

Lance continued to defend his opinion, while Hunk waved his hands in front of his face and refused to give more of one. It was obvious from Shiro’s tone that he was growing not only frustrated, but desperate. Finally, he turned to the youngest member of the team, the only one who had yet to speak.

“Pidge?”

A moment passed before she lifted her head, and Keith’s heart skipped a beat when those tear-filled but furious eyes met his. She opened her mouth and sucked in an audible breath before throwing her words like daggers. “Do you know where my family is?”

His stomach plummeted to the floor. “No, Pidge, I...of course I don’t, I -” He couldn’t say anymore. It didn’t matter what he said, anyway, no one was going to listen to him. Pidge turned her eyes back to the floor, fists clenched by her sides, as the rest of the room devolved into chaos.

Shiro and Allura were shouting back and forth at each other, Hunk was trying to comfort Pidge, and Lance was shooting glares at him like he was the devil incarnate. Keith stood in the middle of it all with his hands fisted in his hair, wishing he could disappear. Wishing he could go back to that morning and never go to the base, wishing he could go back all the way to the beginning and never be born. It’d be better that way, right? A freak of nature like he was shouldn’t exist. If he’d never been born, then Voltron would have found another red paladin, one who wasn’t Galra, and they could carry on saving the universe without having to deal with this mess.

“Enough!” Allura’s voice rang out over everyone else. “Perhaps we cannot prove his true motives, but one thing is certain, he cannot be trusted. Coran, Lance, escort him downstairs to a cell. We will decide what to do with him at a later date.”

Keith went numb. Everything that happened from that moment on felt like he was watching a movie on a screen. Shiro fairly exploded, protesting Allura’s decision, but the princess pinned him to the nearest console and sneered something about him daring to usurp her authority. Cold, unfeeling hands latched onto both his arms, tugging him harshly toward the door. He walked in a daze.

The next thing he knew, he was standing in the middle of a spherical, blue-tinted forcefield, with no knowledge of how he had gotten there. Down a long walkway, Coran and Lance were disappearing into an elevator. The doors slammed shut on their backs. He was completely alone.

Alone, like he had been after his dad died when he was six. Alone, like he had been in nearly every foster home that followed. Alone, like when Shiro went to Kerberos and subsequently vanished. He thought that by now he’d be used to being alone. But he wasn’t. Not anymore. Not when he had spent the last few months surrounded by people, people whom he didn’t always get along with, but whom he had finally let himself begin to call friends. Not when he had thought he was finally figuring out what it felt like to belong somewhere.

Sinking to the floor, he bit back a hysterical laugh. He should have known better. Nothing good ever lasted in his life. No one but Shiro ever really cared about him, so why had he let himself think that these people did? Maybe Lance was right. Maybe it was all because he had been Galra all along. He had always been the weird kid, the outsider, the foster that nobody wanted, the troublemaker, the rebel. Anytime something good came along, he somehow drove it away. Shiro had spent a lot of time trying to convince him that it wasn’t true, that he wasn’t responsible for other people’s choices, but Keith had never quite believed him. If it wasn’t true, then why did trouble and sorrow seem to follow him everywhere he went? Even as an adult, even in quiznaking space he couldn’t keep from messing up the good in his life.

He didn’t blame Allura for locking him up. Didn’t blame Lance for his glares, didn’t blame Pidge for her anger or Hunk and Coran for their silence. He wouldn’t trust him, either, if he was in their place. The Galra had ruined each and every one of their lives. Even if he knew that he would never, ever hurt his team...maybe he could take on some of the blame of his race. If punishing him made them feel better, then he’d take it.

Time dragged by in that tiny cell. He knew, because the lights in the cavernous room around him brightened and dimmed with the Castle’s cycles just like they did upstairs, and bowls of food goo emerged out of the ground twice per cycle. Maybe it was some kind of Altean science/magic, or maybe there was just a dispenser beneath the floor. He didn’t know, or care. He was glad to get the food, but the fact that he didn’t even get that tiny bit of interaction that someone bringing him a meal would give him hurt. It was like being in the desert shack all over again, but much worse. In the desert, he had the choice to go into town and see people if he wanted, and he had keeping himself alive and chasing after the Blue Lion to keep his mind occupied.

Here, he had nothing. His time was divided between eating, pacing the floor, doing pushups - one armed, since his shoulder still wasn’t healed - and situps, and lying on the hard bed, though he slept very little.

He wasn’t sure what hurt more - the initial rejection and mistrust, or the lack of care now. No one even bothered to come down and ask him questions, to try to find out the truth, much less actually check on him and make sure he was okay. He wondered if they even looked at the security feed ever to see if he was even still alive.

He knew what did hurt the most, though, more than both of those things combined. Shiro. Out of everyone, he thought that at least Shiro would come down at some point. The fact that he had so readily accepted Keith’s Galra heritage had baffled him, but he had been the only one trying to defend him. So where was he now? Were they preventing him from visiting somehow? Or had he changed his mind after all, and sided with the others?

In the end, it took them four quintants that felt like an eternity to decide his fate. The elevator doors opened late in the day, the sudden noise after so much silence startling. Keith swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up quickly, trying not to be too disappointed when only Allura and Coran walked out. He supposed it was too much to ask that he could see all of his friends one more time.

Stopping in front of the cell, Allura folded her arms in front of her while Coran crossed his in the back. Both were stoic, betraying no emotion on their faces. Allura, of course, was the one to speak.

“We’ve come to escort you off the ship.”

His stomach clenched, even though he hadn’t expected anything different. “Okay.”

“We have landed on a planet called Borulmyte. It is inhabited only by various primitive and non sentient species. The atmosphere is breathable and the climate livable for both humans and Galra.” The last word was said with no small measure of disgust. “There are plenty of edible plants and animals, so you should be able to survive just fine.”

Survive. That was the key word in all of this, wasn’t it? He had half expected not to survive, to be thrown out of an airlock into the cold vacuum of space. But now...surviving is all that he would be doing. Alone, again. He shouldn’t have expected anything different. Alone was apparently his destiny. Alone on a planet with no other sentient life, no one to interact with, no possible way of ever leaving.

Surviving. No more living, those days were over. He wasn’t ever very good at that, anyway. Surviving was what he did best. How long, though, would he last? How long until he decided he was tired of surviving, when there wasn’t even anything left to survive for? Out in the desert, he had had the Blue Lion calling him, and the stubborn notion that Shiro wasn’t really dead. Now...he’d only have himself.

“This was certainly no easy decision, and much time, discussion, and thought has gone into choosing the proper planet. So I hope that you will cooperate and not cause a scene. Nothing you can say or do is going to change our minds now.”

For a moment, he let himself imagine those discussions. It certainly wasn’t the first time over the past few days he had done so. Did anyone advocate for him? Had Shiro been the one to insist that they make sure the planet was livable? Had they chosen a basically uninhabited place because they wanted to keep him safe from possible Galra rule, or because they wanted to keep locals safe from him? Had anyone voted for just throwing him out the airlock?

He nodded and stood. “Okay.”

An opening was made in the force field so that Coran could enter and lock his wrists into energy cuffs. Then he was escorted up the walkway, into the elevator for a completely silent ride, and out into the familiar front hall. It almost seemed like just yesterday that he and the others had crept cautiously through those towering doors, having no clue the adventures that were waiting for them inside. Now he was being figuratively thrown out the same doors onto a planet that was just as unknown as Arus had been then.

The light was dim when they exited, whatever sun might exist there already having set. They were in an open, desert like area, but a forest of some sort was nearby. At least he had options. He knew how to make his way in an Earth desert, but for food and shelter the forest might be his best option.

“This is where we leave you.”

Coran stepped forward and removed the cuffs, and Keith absentmindedly rubbed at his wrists.

“Don’t suppose I get a communicator like our...your allies.”

Allura just stared at him with the same, unchanging expression. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Right. Listen, um...could you...give everybody a message from me? I was...hoping to get to say goodbye, but…”

Sighing heavily, Allura looked as if she was barely refraining from rolling her eyes. “I suppose that depends on what this ‘message’ is.”

“Um.” He looked down at his feet, scuffing the toes of his boot into the sand. “Tell...tell Hunk that I’ll...miss his cooking. Especially those brownies he made for me. And tell Lance that...I never hated him. He...annoyed me sometimes, but...he was a good friend, too.”

He drew in a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “Tell Pidge…” He swallowed. “Tell Pidge that I hope she finds her family. I really, really do. And that she’s doing great with her bayard. I...kept meaning to tell her that, but never did.

“And Shiro…” His jaw tightened. There were so, so many things to say to Shiro. Things that he should have said long ago, things that he had said before but could never say enough. Things that he’d never get a chance to say again. He dashed errant tears away with the back of his hand. “Just...tell him I love him.”

He looked up finally, giving a wobbly half smile. Allura looked even sterner than before, though Coran’s mouth had twisted a bit to the side in an expression that Keith couldn’t read. “And thank you both, for letting me have the chance to fly Red. She’s...amazing.” One corner of his mouth lifted a little more. “Tell her I’ll miss her.”

A long, awkward moment passed before Allura cleared her throat. “Right, then. If that’s all…”

Coran seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts and pulled Keith’s knife out of his pocket. “We figured you might as well have this. It is yours, after all, and you’ll need it, I’m sure.”

Keith whispered his thanks as he gingerly took it from the man's hands.

“Alright. Well...farewell, Number Four.” Coran gave a little salute, Allura a curt nod, and they turned their backs to walk back up into the Castle.

Once they were gone, Keith stayed rooted in place, unable to make himself move. It was only when the Castle rumbled to life that he took a few unsteady steps backwards. The place that he had come to call home over the past few months lifted from the ground before shooting off into the sky. Keith tipped back his head and watched until it was no more than a speck, blending in with the stars that had begun to come out, refusing to let the tears that burned at his eyelids fall.

There was a pretty good chance that none of his messages would ever get relayed. He hoped they would, but knew that he’d never find out one way or the other. He’d never see any of those he thought were his friends again.

He was alone.

All that was left to do now was survive.

[lukatheselkie]

HMC - Aquarium

@hetaliamondaychallenge

So, uh, terrifying story that happened while I was writing this. The HUGE common Plecostomus we have jumped out of the tank he’s in. This thing is like 15" (38.1cm) long. He jumped between the wall and the tank. Thank goodness Dad was awake so he could grab him. He got slightly injured, but he’s acting normal so I think he’s okay. Talk about an adrenaline rush though! (If anyone wants to know, he has a nick in two of his fins. That’s the only visible injuries, but he did thrash about so he might have internal injuries. I hope not. I love him too much, and he’s too young.)

Headcanon that Sweden has social anxiety.

Pairings: SuNor, DenFin, IceMano

Warnings: Cussing, light hearted/joking death threat

Soft reminder that the age of consent is 15 in Iceland, and 14 in Italy. (Yes, this is mostly aimed at any American readers.) Iceland is 16-17, and South Italy is 22-23. I saw talk of a ten-year gap for Iceland, but I couldn’t figure out if it was law or not. Either way, they fall into this rule.

    Berwald frantically reaches for his boyfriend’s hand, and squeezes it hard when he has hold of it. Luaks glances at him and gives him the smallest hint of a smile. It’s enough to fill his stomach with butterflies, which does a good job of distracting him from his anxiety. Lukas squeezes his hand back when he sees him relax, a gesture that is as much a reward as it is a show of how proud he is of Berwald. He knows how hard it is for him to be around strangers, even if no one is paying attention to him. “Takk for coming with us, Ber. Mathias insisted it wouldn’t be the same without you.” Said man appears beside them and throws an arm around Berwald’s shoulder. Speak of the devil.

    “Of course it wouldn’t be the same without you! We love you.” Tino comes up beside him, rolling his eyes. “But nothing could rival my love for you!” He releases Berwald, and wraps his arms around Tino eagerly. The Finnish man gives a sigh, then pecks his lips.

    “Sometimes I don’t know what to do with you.” Mathias grins at him.

    “You love me.”

    “Fortunately for you I do. So very much.” He wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him down for a deeper kiss.

    “Some of us are actually trying to look at the fish. Can you not make out next to them? It’s startling.” Mathias presses closer to his lover and Emil fake gags, turning away from them. He looks into the closest tank, and flinches back when he comes face to face with a Green Moray Eel with an open mouth. Lovino, who was about to take his hand, falls into a fit of laughter. Emil bristles slightly, and crosses his arms over his chest. “Hmph! I see how it is! Well, I won’t comfort you when a shark decides to charge your stupidly handsome face!” Lovino raises a brow at him, then winks. His face turns crimson, but he doesn’t move.

    “Are you sure you want a shark to think I’m handsome? They might steal me away.” Emil huffs, grabs his hand, and squeezes it tightly.

    “They will not! I won’t let that happen. I will punch and or fight a shark if I have to!” Mathias jerks away from Tino.

    “Nej! Don’t you dare!” He lowers his voice so the humans around them can’t hear him. “This is my aquarium, I won’t let you hurt anything living here. And that goes for anywhere in my country. And… I don’t want you to get hurt.”

    “Fine. Your flirty sharks get to continue on without knowing pain.” Lovino chuckles, then ruffles his hair. Emil sends him a light hearted glare, and grabs his hand. “I won’t let them flirt with you. I’ll show them that you’re my boyfriend.” After a moment of staring at each other they laugh, knowing he’s joking. He may be childish, but he knows acting like he owns someone is a bad thing to do. Lovino brushes their noses together, squeezes his hand, and points at one of the fish coming closer to them, looking curious. Wanting to impress his boyfriend, Emil puffs out his chest a bit, stares at the fish for a moment, then tells him what it is. “That’s a porcupinefish, or blowfish. It can also be referred to as a balloonfish or a globefish. Sometimes they are called pufferfish, but this fish isn’t what most think of when they say ‘pufferfish.’ They belong to a different family.” Lovino stares at him, obviously impressed. Mathias gives him a weird look, and he blushes again. “...Or something like that. Like I would know about a fish.”

    “I love your random knowledge, Emmy. Please don’t take it back or downplay it.” Emil scowls at him, cheeks turning crimson.

    “I told you not to call me that,” he grumbles, burying his face in his chest. Lovino runs a hand through his hair, smirking. Mathias gives him a high five. Lukas shakes his head at them.

    “I won’t ever embarrass you on purpose like that,” he whispers to Berwald. “Not unless you want me to.” The Swede nods, barely hearing him. He’s staring at a different tank, watching an octopus move their arms about. Lukas notices and walks him over there, shielding him from the crowd. “There. Now you can look closer.” Berwald nods excitedly, gives him a bright smile that lasts maybe a second, and focuses on the arms. The octopus waves a few about for a moment, then starts crawling over the rocks on the bottom. They disappear into a crevice, which causes Berwald to frown slightly. “Let’s look at the seahorses, Ber,” Lukas suggests quietly, already leading him toward them. His attention is quickly diverted to them, thankfully.

    “Look h’w beat’ful th’y are,” he mumbles. “B’t n’t as beaut’ful as du,” he looks at Lukas. He immediately turns his head away, trying to hide his blush.

    “Don’t say that out of nowhere like that.” He scoffs, and Berwald squeezes his hand lightly in apology. “I suppose it’s fine this time. But don’t do it again.” They both know he likes it.

    “Ja, okej,” he says to tease him. He doesn’t fall for it.

    “Good.” A thick silence falls over them. It’s a matter of who breaks first now, and Lukas knows Berwald’s biggest weaknesses. “Because if you did, I would have to make coffee for you in the morning. Oh, and breakfast. Then we would have to have a Fika together later in the day. Then we’d have to go to bed tangled in the blankets, cuddling fiercely. We wouldn’t want to have to do that, now would we?” Berwald lets out a tiny, nearly impossible to hear whine.

    “Nej fair.” Lukas smirks at him. He looks back at the seahorses, trying his hardest to ignore him. It’s not working. His hair clip keeps distracting him. It’s slightly crooked. He has to fix it. He turns toward him, and straightens out the clip. Lukas gets on his tip toes and kisses his forehead in response.

    “Takk. Jeg elsker deg.” Berwald’s cheeks tint pink.

    “Jag älskar dig med.”

    “You are aware this means you lose, right?”

    Ja.” Lukas laughs. Mathias bounds over, Emil and Lovino in tow. Tino follows after, smiling at his boyfriend’s antics.

    “Berry, there’s a touch tank! We have to pet some of the fish!” He grabs his wrist and drags him to the touch tank. “Look how pretty they are! Oooooh this one is colourful!” He dips his hand in the water, and slowly reaches toward one of the fish. He laughs a bit when his fingers brush against it. They are informed it’s a Japanese Pinecone Fish. Tino puts his hand in the water next, lightly running his fingers over a Thicklip Grey Mullet.

    “You’re such a charming fish,” he murmurs. A soft, loving smile plays at Mathias’ lips. Lovino looks into the tank next, curiosity shining in his eyes. He lightly touches a Blackbelt Hogfish, smiling at the big eyes. He beams at Emil, reaching out his other hand encouragingly. The younger man shakes his head quickly.

    “I will not touch a fish that I could scare away.” Despite his words, he peers into the tank. After a moment, he caresses a Black Sea Cucumber. “It tickles,” he hums to himself, smiling brightly. Lovino watches him affectionately. Lukas’ eyes dart around, looking for a new fish to touch. Berwald sticks his hand in the water, and a Damselfish willingly swims up to it. He runs his fingers delicately along their body, biting his lip to keep his smile in check. Lukas’ heart fills with joy at the sight. Then, he does the same as Berwald, allowing a fish to come up to him. A Two-Banded Seabream nibbles at his fingers, and he giggles. He pets the fish, who eagerly accepts his affection.

    “You’re very cute. Almost as cute as my Ber.” He watches his boyfriend turn red. They stay there until another group comes up, forcing them to leave for Berwald’s safety. Their next stop is the gift shop, which is thankfully mostly devoid of other people.

    “Look at all the stuffed animals!” Mathias practically runs to the wall full of them. Tino watches him for a moment to make sure he’s not going to knock anything down, then examines the shark teeth necklaces. Lovino discreetly grabs a Green Moray Eel plush, and shoves it toward Emil. He squeaks, too scared to make any noise. After a few shallow breaths, he’s glaring so hard Lukas wonders if Lovino is losing years from his life.

    “You absolute asshole! You scared the shit out of me!” He places a hand on his chest, taking deeper breaths. Lovino puts the eel back, snickering a bit as he turns back to Emil.

    “I would apologize, but I’d be afraid you would call it fishy.” He holds up a clownfish plushie.

    “I am going to strangle you for that joke,” he grumbles as he pulls him in for a kiss. Lukas shakes his head and saunters over to Berwald, who’s investigating the “An Ocean of Plastic” area. He takes his hand, squeezing it when he feels how stiff he is.

    “I won’t let anyone get close to you. I promise.” He nods, relaxing a bit. His eyes catch on an otter plush, and he shuffles toward it. When he’s close enough, he snatches it and hugs it tightly to his chest. “Do you want that?” He nods frantically, hugging it tighter.

    “H’s n’me is L’kas.”

    “Is it? I’m honored.” Berwald shyly wraps an arm around his waist.

    “B’t he’s n’t as imp’rtant.” He buries his nose in his hair. Lukas starts rocking them slightly, knowing it will help his love calm down. “Tack.” When he’s settled down a bit more, he goes to a jewelry display. He picks out a golden seahorse hair clip, and an intricate octopus choker made to look like a baby octopus is clinging onto the neck. Its eyes are made of purple sapphire, and the tentacles are carved silver. He determines they’re perfect for Lukas, therefore he’s getting them.

    “Mathias. Decide on one. You can’t take home ten stuffed animals.”

    “But I want them all!” Tino raises his brows. “Please?” He sighs defeatedly.

    “You can get what you can carry. No more.” He’s too lenient. But seeing his smile is more than worth it.

    “Oh! And I picked out a shark tooth necklace for you! I saw you looking at them.” He flushes a bit. “I noticed you didn’t actually get one, so I thought I would make it special.” He holds out one of them shyly. Tino carefully takes it then pulls him in for a kiss, causing him to drop his armful of plushies. “And this pretty violet shark is for you! It’s exactly the shade of your eyes.”

    Emil groans loudly when Lovino wraps an alligator plush around his neck. “Absolutely not. You are not getting that. Don’t make me deal with it.” Lovino chuckles, putting it back.

    “I was joking anyway. I really want this.” He holds up a Love Pearl kit. “I was hoping we could pick one out for each other.” Emil’s face softens. “This isn’t because I like the idea! I just thought you might.” He blushes hard. “And I picked out a dragon for you too. Because the bastards remind me of you. Fiery and protective.” Emil hugs him tightly.

    “I picked out a jellyfish plush for you. They remind me of you. Dangerous if not handled with care.” Lovino’s face rivals a tomato now. Emil kisses both of his cheeks, then starts going through the Love Pearl collection.

    As they leave, they discuss how they weren’t kicked out, despite being a bit rowdy at points. When they make it back home, they break off into couples. Berwald puts the jewelry on Lukas excitedly, smiling at how amazing he looks in it. Mathias insists on putting Tino’s necklace on him, and purposefully drops it down his shirt so he can fetch it. Lovino and Emil open their Love Pearls, both complaining about the process and the necklaces they chose for each other; a unicorn for Lovino, and a flamingo for Emil. Lovino gets a white pearl for health, and Emil gets a cream pearl for happiness. They all agree they had a wonderful day.

[steebharringt0n]

cat’s in the cradle

infant | toddler | child | teenager | young adult

a 5-part story exploring the relationship between billy hargrove and his first-born son, adam

pairing: billy hargrove x you

rating: t

a/n: GUESS WHO’S COMPUTER DELETED THIS ENTIRE STORY OVER THE WEEKEND, THEN CRASHED. LOL. yeah, i was pissed, anyways, the final part will be posted tomorrow, and Sanctuary will be updated later in the week. As always, thank you for your patience and for your support.

---

part 4 - teenager

17-year old Adam Hargrove was fucked.

No scratch that, he was dead where he stood.

Fear slid it’s cool claws over his neck as his eyes gazed over the camaro. He swallowed thickly, his stomach lurching as his eyes landed on the heavily dented front bumper of his father’s precious car.

“Oh my god, dad is going to kill you”

He didn’t even have to turn around to know that his 12-year old little sister was standing behind him. The Hargrove siblings stood outside their driveway, their attention both on the blue camaro in the garage. He twisted his neck to face a smirking Ava, her arms crossed as she carefully walked around the car, analyzing the dented bumper with her own eyes.

“Did you really think taking the camaro out was a good idea?” she questioned.

Adam licked his lips, he felt the sudden urge to vomit his entire dinner but he fought against it, “At the time ... yes ... now ... not so much ... “

His eyes landed on his 2000 Honda Accord parked adjacent to the camaro. His father had gifted him the car when he turned 16. It was a perfectly nice car, there was nothing wrong with it, but he was hanging out with Gina Sanderson and he knew his little green car wouldn’t be nearly as impressive as his father’s 78′ Camaro. He had a reputation to maintain at Sunset Cliff High, all thanks to the myth, the legend that was his father, Billy Hargrove.

It wasn’t that Adam was unpopular. In fact, if you asked anybody at Sunset Cliff about Adam Hargrove, you’d hear good things about him. Adam had lost his baby fat throughout his formative years, his jaw line chiseling out, looking more and more like his father everyday. He had traded his square frames for contacts which made his baby blues shine out more than before. He was the captain of the baseball team, his long hours of training and running had helped sculpt his body into one that the ladies loved to ogle at. And he was an all around good guy, he got straight A’s, got along well with his AP teachers. 

But when word quickly got out that he was Billy Hargrove’s - yes, the Billy Hargrove - son. He knew he had to up the ante just a bit more, and taking the camaro for a joy ride (and inviting the most popular girl at school as well), was just the thing he needed to maintain that high status at school.

It was a last minute impulsive decision. Adam wasn’t really one for impulsive decisions, he was logical, he liked to think things through. He wasn’t big on rule breaking, which was something his parents loved to pride on. But something in him snapped, his rebellious streak made a small appearance tonight and he was highly regretting listening to the devil on his shoulder.

It’s not like he had $500 dollars to spare, or an extra 78′ Camaro bumper lying around as well.

He was sure his parents - more so his father - would be understanding about this, right? It’s not like he was warned his whole life never to touch the camaro, never to be inside the camaro without his father, hell, he wasn’t sure if he was ever allowed to breathe inside the camaro.

Was it worth taking Gina out on a joyride? The Adam from about an hour ago would have told you, absolutely yes. He relished in seeing the way her eyes lit up when he showed up at her house, the way her hair blew wildly in the wind as she loudly sang along to The Killers, Somebody Told Me. And when they arrived at the cliff that overlooked Mission Beach, and how the moonlight struck her, he swore he had never seen something so perfect in his life.

If you asked Adam now, he would probably tell you no. That he hadn’t seen that stupid fire hydrant when he made that sharp left out of Gina’s neighborhood. It was a poor excuse, but hell, it was the truth. That in reality, it wasn’t worth losing his freedom over.

“How much longer until mom and dad get home?” he asked nervously.

Ava shrugged, “You got about less than a hour - mom called about half an hour ago, said they’d be leaving soon”

You and Billy were currently attending a black-tie Gala for the educators in San Diego. You were being honored a prestigious award for your work with at risk youth, a mission that you held very near and dear to your heart ever since you met Billy. You witnessed first hand how abuse could warp and change a person - you remember long nights staying up with Billy, tending to his wounds, letting him cry on your shoulder, and just holding him until his nightmares of Neil would go away.

Never again did you want any child to go through that.

Billy (or now more commonly known as Bill, which weirded you out) still ran the very successful automotive shop, and managed to open up 2 more locations in the surrounding areas. The Hargroves were well off, money wasn’t an issue to them and because Billy was so tight with the dealerships in the area, cars always came and went, but he always had a soft spot for his beloved camero. 

The bright headlights that suddenly pulled up on the driveway broke Adam’s concentration. The 2004 black BMW pulled to a stop on the driveway, the driver of the car wondering why his two children were currently hanging outside in front of the garage.

“Oh this is gonna be good” smirked Ava as she watched her parents step out of the car. Billy was dressed up in a white button-up, a black bow-tie attached at the top near the collar. His hair was neatly cut short, long abandoning the days of his mullet. He looked older, wrinkles donning the corners of his eyes and near his forehead, but even still at almost 40 years old, he looked good. You stepped out next, your figure was delicately clothed in a long black strapless dress, hugging your hips and curves. Your hair was pulled up in a bun, with two curled strands of hair that crowned your face. If you told people you were on your way to turn 40, they probably wouldn’t believe you.

You instantly frowned at the scene in front of you, there’s no reason why both of your children should be out this late. Your eyes gazed over at them, Ava who was looking very amused, and Adam who looked like he was on the verge of tears. Then as your eyes wandered over to the garage, and as you saw the dented camaro, did your stomach instantly dropped.

And you immediately knew the culprit.

“Oh Adam ... “ you muttered.

You looked over at Billy who’s jaw was clenched tight, his nostrils flaring. You could tell he was trying to bite his tongue, trying not to unleash loud explicits in the quiet neighborhood. Over the years Billy had learned how to manage his anger, with a lot of coaxing and learning from you, he wasn’t the same Billy Hargrove that terrorized the halls of Hawkins. But this, this could have easily made him snap back into that.

You quickly walked up to Ava, wrapping your arm around her shoulder.

“This is between your father and Adam ... we don’t need to stay out here” you whispered to her.

Ava’s jaw dropped, “But mooooooom ... “ she whined, following your lead as the both of you quietly walked into the house, leaving both Hargrove men outside in the cool California night.

Adam stayed planted on his feet, his brain was telling him to move, but he couldn’t do it. 

“H-Hi Dad ... “ he weakly spoke.

Billy quickly made large strides up to the garage, walking past an anxious Adam. He walked around the camaro, inspecting it from every side. He then poked his head on the inside, checking the leather, the seats, and even to see if it still turned on. Once he realized everything else worked, and everything else wasn’t broken, or dented, he walked up to the front of the camaro, crouching down and inspecting the dented bumper carefully.

“I-I’m sorry dad, I know I fucked - I mean I messed up, and I’m really sorry. It was so stupid of me, I should have never done it, and I understand if you never want to talk to me again - “

“What’d you hit it with?” he interjected, his tone heavy.

Adam swallowed, “A fire hydrant”

Billy let a deep sigh escape his lips, lowering his head down in disappointment. He then stood up, and in one fluid motion, pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his inner coat pocket. He leaned up against the camaro, placing a stick in between his lips. He then offered the carton to Adam,

“Go on, take one, I’m sure this night has been stressful enough for you” he murmured.

Adam blinked blankly. He never knew his father smoked, let alone allow him to smoke after he had damaged his car. He hesitantly reached for one, holding it in his hand as Billy pulled out a zippo lighter, and lit up the stick. Billy took a deep inhale, his eyes staring out into the distance.

“Don’t tell your mother, she’d kill me” he quietly added, tossing him the zippo lighter.

Adam quietly nodded, lighting up the cigarette, inhaling, then going into a crazy coughing fit soon after.

“Easy there, don’t inhale too much ... the first time always suck” Billy said, patting his son’s back.

After Adam had quieted down, there was silence amongst the two. 

“You know, I saved up my own money to buy the camaro ... I worked every day that summer of 83′, my old man wasn’t too happy that I decided to spend my money on a car, hell, he wasn’t happy with a lot of the decisions I made in life, including being with your mother”

Adam stood quiet, Billy rarely ever brought up Neil. It was taboo in the family to ever bring up Neil. Adam didn’t know much, but he knew that he wasn’t a good guy, even his Aunt Max would mention every now and then how terrible Neil used to be to her and his father.

So he never asked, never wondered about his grandfather. 

“I drove this camero from California to Indiana. Had a lot of great memories in this camero ... it’s where I took your mother on our first date, where she first told me that she loved me, hell I think you might have been conceived in there” he added that last part in with a chuckle.

Right at that moment Adam had decided to inhale another puff, and ultimately choked on it as Billy finished that last sentence.

“Why are you telling me this? Shouldn’t you be yelling at me? Wanting to rip my head off?” Adam asked.

Billy let out a chuckle, “You know, the old me would have been livid, furious at you.” Billy paused for a second, licking his lips before he took another inhale of the cigarette. “But you’re a good kid Adam, you always have been. Even when you were a little baby your mother and I never had any problems with you. I mean when I was your age I was beating people up, I was awful, I was mean. I honestly don’t know how your mother, or really anyone, put up with me back in the day”

Adam shuffled his feet, kicking a pebble with his foot.

“T-Thanks dad ... but I mean, I messed up your car, you’ve always told me that I wasn’t allowed to drive it, or even touch it”

Billy turned to look over at Adam, “My car? You mean yours”

He then reached into his pocket, pulling out the spare keys of the camaro and placing it into Adam’s shaking hands.

His blue eyes widened in surprise, “Holy shit ... are you serious? What about my Honda Accord?”

Billy shrugged, “Ah, I’ll save it for your sister. We’ve had enough cars come through our garage”

Adam stared at the keys in his hand in awe. He shoved it in his pocket, then threw his cigarette down to the ground and engulfed his father in a hug.

“Thanks dad ... I could’t have been a good kid without having a dad like you” he muttered.

Billy wrapped his arms around his son, closing his eyes and leaning into his embrace. He felt his heart lurch at Adam’s words, tears pricked the corner of his eyes but he quickly wiped them away with the swipe of his hand. Never in a million years did he ever think a child of his would utter those words. 

Billy pulled away from Adam, who’s eyes were still wide with surprise.

“Was the girl cute?” Billy suddenly questioned, his top lip curled into a smirk.

Adam avoided his father’s gaze, his cheeks blushing.

“C’mon, she must have been cute for you to become all Mr. Rebel Without A Cause” Billy pressed on, gently jabbing him in the ribs.

“Yeah, yeah, she’s cute I guess” he finally admitted, a small smile on his face as he recalled kissing her before he dropped her off.

Billy put out his cigarette, stomping it out with his dress shoes as he put his arm around Adam’s shoulder. The two of them started to walk towards the entrance of the house.

“Too bad you won’t see her for awhile, because you’re grounded for a month” he deadpanned.

Adam whipped his head, a look of desperation on his face as they walked through the front door, “Oh, c’mon Dad!”

---

tagged: @the-first-breath-of-autumn-air @justabeautiful-letdown @fab-notfat @tarahell @noodlenerd101 @crazylittlethingcalledobsession @letdecemberburninflames @kake-babe @barbarasbae @delqcour @wearewiththebands @oogachuggaoogaoogachugga @klanceiscannon14 @mrs-hollandstan @gracieadorable 

[jordanlahey]

“He Would Sacrifice Everything For You.”

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader 

Request: Hey hey 👋🏻Can I request a Billy fic? Where the reader is basically the cool girl in school? Always with sunglasses and a leather jacket an boots, and drives a bad ass car and is new to Hawkins an Billy basically falling for her??

and could you add that Billy is not afraid to lose his „reputation“ to get with the reader? 🙊

So in short they‘re the Badass couple of Hawkins

Warnings: language, alcohol, mentions of smut, fluff 

Word Count: 1649

A/N: I’m sorry it's later than I had planned but here it is @ohlalalina

Billy was fed up already of the girls at Hawkins and it’s only been, what a couple weeks? He’s lost count at how long he’s been in this shithole of a school, he wants something new and different. Like you. 

You missed the first couple of weeks of Billy’s arrival at Hawkins High, you really didn’t need to introduce yourself mostly because someone *cough cough* Tommy and Carol no doubt have mentioned you once or twice to Billy. Bless him, he has to suffer Tommy and Carol blabbering in his ear 24/7 and following him around like lost puppies. You never got along with them two no one got along with you. Why? Cause you don’t put up with anyone's bullshit. Tommy and Carol did the exact same thing to you when you first arrived to Hawkins. Who wouldn’t? You drove a fancy car and had that ‘I don’t give a fuck ‘cause I’m the boss.’ attitude, so everyone wanted to be your friend or at least follow you around

You soon figure out that Billy is no different from you, Fancy car, the same attitude you came here with, and he was fucking sex on legs. If you didn’t have morals you so would have taken him up on his offer about ‘taking you out.’ but you weren’t stupid. Words spread fast around here and he was quick to earn him a reputation but you were a sucker for bad boys, Hawkins only had good boys to offer you for example Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington  an asshole turned good boy, boy did he get on your nerves a lot along with Billy for a little bit. 

You would drive to school everyday in your ‘77 Chevy Monte Carlo, blasting music from your tapes, sunglasses were always on until you were told to take them off and you constantly wore your leather jacket. Everyday a mullet wearing douchebag would be waiting for you by his Camaro to try and get in your pants as usual. The poor soul  just never gives up. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you, what year is your old pile of rust?” Billy remarked eyeing your car and you stopped and looked at him through your sunglasses. 

“You know, insulting my baby isn’t going to get you any closer to being in my pants Hargrove.” You snarked back at him, he smirked. 

“I love a challenge, dollface.” He stepped away from his car to stand closer to you. You matched his smirk. 

“She’s a ‘77 and much faster than your toddler car.” You remarked before walking away from him. You watched you strut into school, actually he watched your ass. 

You were a breath of fresh air that he is desperate for and he will stop at nothing to get you. You weren’t like the preppy whores that he would pick out then dump after he had his fun, no you were more than that to him he wanted you for more than a quick fuck. Billy has an interest in you and he will never admit it to anyone or himself that he has a crush on you but oh boy was he willing to lose EVERYTHING  for you. 

“Hargrove, what were you talking to Y/n about?” Carol and Tommy appeared behind him, Billy didn’t like the way Carol had said your name.

“Nothing to do with you.” He huffed and walked into school with them following after him. 

“Tina has a party tonight are you going?” one of the girls at your locker asked you. SHe wasn't a friend of yours, she was just someone that talked to you...a lot maybe even to much. 

“Y/n, at a party you must be delusional.”  You rolled your eyes at the voice. 

“Well well well, if it isn’t Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber.” You snarked at Tommy and Carol. “I don’t understand how Billy here can cope with the two of you, you are both human representations of a migraine.” that earned you a chuckle from the devil himself and the girl next to you.

“Whatever smartass, You won’t be at that party and you know it.” Tommy stepped closer to you and you copied his movements.

“I never miss a party but you wouldn’t notice cause your to busy shoving your cock down some girls throat in the bathroom behind Carol’s back.” You smirked, Carols face was priceless and she stormed off. 

“Your a bitch, Y/n. Carol! It’s not true!” Tommy was chasing after Carol down the hallway. You laughed at the trouble you had just caused between the two of them, you stopped when you looked at Billy.

“Oh don’t look at me like that Billy, they’ll kiss and makeup well more like fuck and makeup.” You giggled more, shutting your locker and heading in the opposite direction of Tommy and Carol. 

“Are you going to the party tonight?” Billy caught up with you.

“Why yes i am, why? Think you’ll get lucky tonight.” You raised an eyebrow at him and he returned the same face.

“Yes but not in the way you think.” You hummed in response, for once you didn’t have anything to say back.

**

You stood in the corner of Tina’s back porch watching Billy win again at the keg stand, you found yourself thinking a lot about him today. You were too focused on thinking that the alcohol wasn’t making you drunk like it usually does in fact you still felt sober, you sighed and headed back inside to find anything stronger. 

“Hey Tina, do you have anything stronger!?” You shouted so that she heard you over the blaring music. 

“Try the garage.” You made your way towards the garage door through the large amounts of sweaty, drunk bodies. There were definitely too many people here it was getting way too hot too. 

You shut the garage door and sighed as the cold are took away the hot feeling, it was quiet in here too you were going to stay here for a little while. Heading over to the mini fridge you found something that was strong and as you were about to crack it open you heard the garage door open and shut. 

“What you doing in here?” Billy leaned against the door behind him. 

“Trying to find something to get me drunk.” You sighed in defeat. 

“You seriously can’t get drunk off the shit out there?” He huffed a laugh and you glared at him.

“I can’t get drunk when I’m thinking to hard about stuff or being distracted.” You shot back, you put the bottle down on the table and sighed. “Don’t take this the wrong way or that you are going to get lucky cause you’re not but do you wanna get outta here?” You turn to face him your face almost desperate. 

“Sure.” Billy shrugged, he didn’t show it but he was over the moon to spend time alone with you even if it wasn’t sexual in any way. Billy followed behind you to your car and you both drove in silence. 

“Your not planning on killing me are you?” He spoke up as you drove through all the trees to the quarry. You laughed

“No, not tonight.” You joked. “I just have some things to get off my chest and for some reason it’s all to do with you.” Billy wasn’t sure if he should be worried about what you were going to say but he just nodded. You parked your car and got out to sit on the hood of your car and Billy joined you.

“Is everything okay?” He asked you. She huffed a laugh and shook your head.

“I don’t know, lately for that past couple of weeks a certain boy has been crossing my mind a lot and I don’t know how I should feel about that.” You reply not looking at Billy.

“Well do you like this boy?” 

“I do but I don’t want to fall into his trap cause you see this guy picks and chooses what girl he wants and I don’t want to be another one he throws away.” Billy hums.

“What if he wanted you too but in the way that you wanted.” You look at him surprisingly and he smiled at you. 

“Then I would need to hear it from him about what he actually wants with me.” You cross your arms and match his smile. Billy pushed himself off the hood of your car and stood in front of you. 

“I think he wants to hold you in his arms every night and whenever he can, kiss you and dare I say it , love you.” with each word he got closer to you to the point you could feel his breath on your face, you blushed.

“I’d like that but would he be willing to sacrifice his reputation for an insignificant girl?” You tease, you knew where this was going to go and you loved everything about it. 

“He would sacrifice everything for you, Y/n. You have no idea.” Billy sounded like he meant it and he did.

“What are you waiting for Billy? Kiss me.” Billy did exactly that, his hands went to your hips as he kissed you, this was no dominating, lust filled kiss this was meaningful and passionate. He meant what he said he wanted nothing more than to love you and he didn’t care what it was going to cost him because when he won’t have anything he will have you and you were far more important than some teenage title. 

“Billy.” You said between kisses and he pulled away looking a little worried that he had overstepped his boundaries. “I love you too.” You pecked his lips again and he pulled you into his chest and held you close to him. Oh  god he wasn’t going to let you go. Ever.  

[prowlingthunder]

Hi! Thanks so much for the rec! I really appreciate it! For your fanfic guessing game, how about rescue, or blue? Thanks!!

Not gonna lie, I stalk you for fic. ^^ You’re good, and worth the rec.

For the ask game… I feel like I should apologize for how many WIP I have… but then I realize folks probably like reading fics in general, and somebody may like mine, so…!

Blue and Rescued are in my SG1/Jyu-Oh-Sei rough draft:Getting rescued was all the hurrah, but unfortunately they had been parted from their own gear, and that meant they were a little slim on extra bullets that may or may not have worked in alien possibly-glocks.

Then, when winter hits, Third and his team and their attache leave through a pool of water that is /definitely/ not water; just step through from the pale blue of Chimera’s gate room into an alien ecosystem.

Blue is in my RW/SG1 rough draft:Raven hair was loose in a mullet- did the Japanese even know what a mullet was? -and bright blue eyes that glittered in a way Daniel wasn’t sure about.

Blue is in my gundam wing daemon fic! Twice, even:His eyes were blue, open and innocent.

Something curled in his belly, taught with nerves; then blue eyes caught troubled hazel, held them, and that knot loosened.

Blue is in another scene snippit from my Dragon’s Breath series, the Dragon Age/Ronin Warrior crossover I’m working on. It’s in the immediate sequel to Sympathy for the Devil:

The blue looked good on him– not bright, but not dark either.

Outside of crossovers, blue is in my Dragon Age Every Warden Ever sequel:The blond traces the blue on her right cheek, watching the two former nobles out of the corner of her eye.

Blue appears three times in my Fallout 4 a/b/o fic that’s undergoing some rework: I flashed blue eyes up and registered Carslile first, looming with that twisted smile on his face.

I stood up and turned so fast I nearly slipped on the wet floor, but instead I felt myself pale as I settled blue eyes on the damned handsome face that haunted my nightmares.

His Corvega was blue, bright as the ocean, and I climbed in the passenger seat as he stored my luggage in the trunk.

It appears three times in my tiny Joan-goes-shopping Fallout 3 fic. I think it’s almost finished, but there’s something missing in the fic I haven’t figured out yet:She turned wide blue eyes to take in the store, moving in a careful, deliberate circle.A basket of neatly folded cloth caught her attention. She stepped to it and knelt down, touching soft fabrics– /Abraxo soap/– and bright colors that weren’t blue.

Julian’s eyes danced, electric-blue, and that made it all worth it.

Blue is in my Fallout 3 wip for Junior getting out of the vault: He loves his sister, of course, and he loves the blue sky and the fresh, dry air, dirt beneath his boots like dirt beneath his fingers.

Big Town Blues, a Fallout 3/4 fic following Mac, has blue in it twice:There was a rain collector, too, and an expanse of blue tarp funneling it in.

Mac settled wide blue eyes on Biwwy and then slid them over to Tewwy, wondering who the young man was to garner so much trust that Biwwy would tell him about the caverns.

Blue appears once in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, a Fallout 4 fanfic:He turned blue eyes up to the man, tall as he was, and Artem watched them both, already moving to scoop Quinn up out of his arms and off his feet.

Chapter three of Devil’s Luck, yet another Fallout 4 fanfic, has Blue appear once:There were a lot of questions in that blue gaze that he wasn’t prepared to explain, though he thought he knew what all the questions would be if the younger soldier spoke them out loud.

Blue appears one time in Dawnfire, my Cor/Nyx FFXV fic: Blue eyes blinked at him, one focusing quicker than the other.

(Rescue is in my notes for Savage Coeurl of Galahd, my “Cor is from Galahd” fanfic, but not in the fic proper. Alas.)

(Blue pops up a lot of times in my scenes for Ambulo, wherein “Ardyn from another universe ended up in canon game timeline” ffxv fic, but a lot of my work got jossed so I’m not sure what’s gonna stay yet. :/ )

Wolflords, a Lord of the Ring Lupercalia fic, has Blue in it once:He much preferred the stories of of the elves and their wolves, sunshine-gold and moon-bright silver, midnight blue dappled with stars, all long-lived and all elegant and graceful like the elves themselves.

Caran Dagra, part of my LotRO setup, has blue twice. It’s probably going to undergo a heavy rewrite before I ever post it, but here’s the wip: The others, Levine and Manco, sat down next to him, pallets of brown and yellow, green and blue eyed respectively.

A simple oval slice, about as big as a quarter, with a penny-length shard of blue in the center, gemstone fused to heartwood.

Nest of Vipers, a companion fic to my Overwatch fic Aitai, has blue: Host of the blue dragons, who secured his position by casting down his own younger brother.

A tiny Haruko-related fic has Blue also:Finally the glove came down with a swipe of her fingers, revealing the blue-finned tail and scales of something.

In my current draft of Blood and Ashes, a Lupercalia Ronin Warriors fic, blue pops up: So he went and he wore what was appropriate for the occasion, fire red and orange and blue, with the threaded white braid worn over his left shoulder, showing all he’d been born to his place.

Blue pops up three times in Homecoming, part of a multiverse fic series I’m doing with my sister because we’re both a pair of dorks. Homecoming is a Ronin Warriors fic:She must have felt it too, because she looked up from the person she was talking to and fixed her attention on him, ocean-blue eyes boring into him, knowing and excited, her smile lighting up the airport floor.

Both tall, both dark haired, both blue-eyed, both terribly attractive.

His face was sharp and when he looked up at him, molten blue eyes pinned Cye right through the chest.

Blue pops up twice in an Arrow/RW crossover for the multiverse:Dark blue, linen and lots of silk. The only thing that is out of place is a pale blue ruff around his throat, a scarf instead of a tie– silk, he figures, from the look of it.

[yeet-me-into-oblivion-please]

Well, Supernatural is actually ending and I don't know what I'll do

[ Brevity is not a strong suit of mine since I've included personal details but there's stuff I feel everyone in the SPN family needs to read]

You might be expecting another post about how Supernatural saved someone's life and how devastated they will be when it ends because they've watched it for so long as well as how the actors have impacted their lives. This is probably one of those but please hear me out.

Supernatural premiered in 2005 and I was in preparatory class (aged 5 years and was before I began 1st grade). I heard of it because my aunt would watch it time to time so I'd also tried to get some peeks myself but I wasn't allowed to because it was "too scary".

Then our local cable began to show seasons 1-5 and that was when everyone in class started watching and quoting it. This was in 6th grade and I was frustrated because I knew about it before most of them yet they acted like it was a new show. I had a fair idea about the story but once I began watching it, I fell in love with it and loved it like a part of my soul.

Yes, Jensen Ackles was my first crush but I still thought (and do think) that both he and Jared are super hot. So I was sucked into this vortex, this Neverland which I never thought I would end.

I joined Tumblr for this show in 2013 because I saw the jokes about there being a Supernatural gif everywhere and wanted to be a part of the fandom/community. This was also the year I actually became interested what other fans felt though I never used this site properly until 2016 I would read the IMDb discussion boards because I hated scurrying through Destiel-infested posts.

(Fun fact:I wasn't using any social media of my own but on my mother's Facebook I liked a Supernatural fan page asking people's opinions on Destiel. This is was around the time season 8 was just finishing or had already finished so I read the comments--- people talked about Dean and Castiel being gay and didn't approve of it as there was this one girl who was conservative and didn't believe in homosexuality while others went on how Dean was always a ladies man which I agreed with. Not that I commented but I thought there was something I missed and I thought Castiel used Dean as a vessel, thus Destiel.)

But I digress. I was in deep by the time season 9 premiered and majority of the people I knew stopped watching the show except for this girl who bullied me throughout preschool who put up this update that Dean had become a demon. I doubt she watches the show now but it was hard seeing her put pictures of "I heart Dean Winchester" and pictures of Jensen when my mom asked me why I don't do the same.

Supernatural, I feel, has become that embarrassing thing you are into in middle school but suddenly drop when you're older, looking back and thinking, "Yeesh, I can't believe I used to watch this show."

I'll be a grown woman at 30 or 40 and probably eventually in my 70s and 80s but I will still look back fondly, the good, the bad and the ugly because I have like many teenagers have undergone many changes (friends, family, emotions, hobbies etc) but Supernatural has always been this constant in my life.

Because let me tell you, I'm seeing these posts saying stuff like how people are glad that it's finally over with its "bullshit" and that's it's dying. That is extremely disrespectful and insensitive to those people who literally live for it, who have invested time and money into it: gif makers, artists, meta writers (I may not agree with you guys but even you count). They don't know what to do once the show ends because it has helped them in ways others will never ever be able to fathom.

I saw the video put up by the guys. I saw and I could tell that Jared, Jensen and Misha had probably cried their guts out before the announcement because their eyes were red and puffy. Jared was controlling himself by talking less as Jensen was clearly on the verge as well but yes they said that they should save the angst for next year.

I love the guys; I love Jared being a goofball and Jensen being equally goofy as well and I'll say this too, I used to enjoy some of Misha's crass jokes (not the highlight ) as well which was why I looked forward to the gag reel every summer (because of J2) because it was cathartic after a traumatic season finale. I love the witty banter and the pranks the cast would do and I will miss it tremendously.

I have some issues with my aunt but everything would be okay when we would fawn over the guys and bingewatch the entire season the summer after it finished airing. We'd quote quotes back and forth and even spiritually killed ourselves watching short clips of "Sammy, close your eyes", "I'm proud of us" etc. Hell, she even promised me that when we go visit my uncle in the States we'd attend a con together.

If, and whenever we do go, it'll be different because the show won't be on air anymore and I know for a fact that I won't feel the anticipation of an episode.

So don't say disrespectful and callous things like "fucking finally". You can dislike the cast/plotline/show but don't ridicule and mock those who invested in the show,some of you are most probably speculating and have barely seen it.

I'm not some dumb, blind fan. I can see some stupid mistakes and don't always eat up what the writers show. For example, everyone must have figured that I dislike Destiel because it's based on groundless assumptions. I thought the Bloodlines was a crap idea that had nothing to do with the main plot and knew it was destined to fail.

As for Wayward Daughters/Sisters or whatever the fuck it was supposed to be called, I was not looking forward to it at all because it was one of those "forced diversity" shows, y'know gender bent stuff.

I felt that they were bastardising everything that Supernatural has and will (always) stand for because some people had a hair up their backsides. Yeah, I loathed Claire and that Kaia mourning thing was bullshit. Thank goodness I was sick that day and couldn't keep my eyes open for that episode.

If we were told that there would be a Men of Letters(with Henry Winchester) or even a Bobby-Rufus spinoff I would be okay with that but for now since the show will finish next year let's the wounds heal first, shall we?

I hope that Jared and Jensen get some offers once the show is done and I will pay good money to see movies, TV shows of them etc but for now I will keep quiet since I hope we get an ending we (and the boys) deserve.

Yes, the writer situation scares me and I think they should call Eric Kripke for a last hurrah. I mean, it is his baby and he should get to have a say in the series finale as well as J2.

Will one of the brothers die and the other will live (I'm worried we'll get a reverse Swan Song)? Will they both die leaving Cas behind and Jack as some sort legacy who trains future hunters? That would be a possibility since the sheriff in 14.16 asked the Winchesters why they don't tell people about monsters. What happens to Baby?

I seriously doubt the ending will be happy(maybe not 100%) but the best thing would be if they go driving with Baby into the sunset...

Dean at the steering wheel with Sam riding shotgun, where they should be ---- where they will always be, home. Dean plays his "mullet rock" as Sam would playfully mock his brother's musical choices. No chick flick moments. Just the Winchesters.

The boys need to lay their weary heads to rest, so they can cry no more. Because they are the legendary Winchesters, the hunters who saved the world countless times unbeknownst to many. I don't think their work will ever be done but there will be peace when they are done and how they will reach that point we'll never know till 2020.

Everyone will hear "Carry on wayward son" for the last time ever in Supernatural over a painful montage of "Dad's gone on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and "Saving people, hunting things, the family business". Now who in this fandom wouldn't be wracked with pain?

This is the show we all joked about that made a deal with the devil to never go off air but I did expect this a long time ago. Only thing was that I didn't know how I'd treat the news. I was that person who would go, "pfft, of course Supernatural would get renewed". Then again, this was the show that an ending was imminent and the whole season 4 debacle about Misha and the angel storyline saving the show blah blah blah.

So next year, everyone will flock to see the finale and epic conclusion to the Winchester saga whether they stopped at season 5,6,7 or 10,12. Diss it all you want for the shit show it may have become but wherever you left off, you may still want to know what happens to Sam and Dean Winchester in the end.

Once Supernatural ends, I'll turn 20 next summer and I would like to think of it being poetic that I end my adolescence with a show I have loved when I brave the cold, ruthless world of adulthood. I'm a picky person and can't say what's my favorite xyz is but you know what I'll say about my favorite TV show.

We will have completed 327 episodes which is the highest for a scifi TV show so I do hope the boys get some sort of recognition. It was us crazy bitches and jerks that gave the show the mileage and it was us that gave Jared and Jensen faith that they could carry on so for the remainder of season 14 and for 15,support these guys. Support these annoyingly sexy and ridiculously hilarious dudes for this show. I'm sure Jared and Jensen love the show like it's their kid practically but I wish everyone would just shut up, tinhatters, bronlies, stans, destihellers because we are all fans of the one show so let's ease the time we have left.

But seriously imagine Sam and Dean on a desert highway, the orange and yellow rays of the setting sun make Baby shine in all her splendor which makes Dean swell with pride. He starts the engine with a low rumble and they're off. They might to California to feel the sand beneath their feet or to Disneyland. They're living the "apple pie life" and this is their personal heaven : with each other.

I wouldn't mind this playing in the background if the ending is the inevitable and unspeakable you know what :

It's wishful thinking, since I wish they'd actually play some Zeppelin instead of song titles being used as episode titles but I wish they could use some Queen or Guns n Roses and stuff before 1979 because everything sucked ass afterwards according to Dean.

I want the classic rock resurgence in the show as well but I know they'll end up using the cash elsewhere. I wouldn't mind a body swap episode but if wishes were horses, right?

[fougke-blog]

Pokemon GS Beta Coverage.

Today I will be covering many of the Pokemon from the Gold and Silver prototypes that leaked recently. The only mons not included are ones that don’t have any noticeable differences. My sources are this spreadsheet and wikipedia. That being said, let’s get into it.

Scrapped Evolutions and Pre-evolutions:

A Vulpix pre-evolution named Trifox. Reminds me of Vulpix’s Gold pokedex entry, which notes that Vulpix is born with one white tail. Evolves at level 13. Glitched as a Water type, should’ve been Fire.

Tangela pre-evolution named Tangel. It looks like it has one eye, which could be interesting. Evolves at level 22. Grass type, naturally.

Qwilfish evolution named Numpuff. An upgrade to a rather boring mon. Evolves from Qwilfish at level 18. Water type.

Goldeen pre-vo named Golppy. It looks identical to Seaking, however. Evolves at level 16. Water type.

Paras pre-vo named Para. It looks as if it’s growing out of the shroom? Which doesn’t make sense, considering that the mushrooms are supposed to grow on it’s back. (Let me know if i’m wrong.) Evolves at level 12. Bug type.

Ditto evolution named Animon. It looks like Al from FMA. Evolves from Ditto using Metal Coat. It is theorized that it influenced the Metal Powder item. Normal type, surprisingly. May have been intended to be Steel type.

Doduo pre-evo named Chiks. Like Golppy, it looks more similar to it’s second evolution than it’s first. Evolves at level 16. Normal/Flying type.

Girafarig’s beta form’s pre-evolved form. This makes some sense, looking at Girafarig’s beta sprite. Evolves at level 29. Dark/Normal type.

Meowth pre-vo named Meowsy. Quickly became a fan-favorite. Even I love this guy. Evolves at level 14. Normal type.

Ponyta pre-vo named Minicorn. It’s got one thing right, and that’s that it’s miniature as heck. Evolves at level 20. Normal type, against all odds.

Grimer pre-vo named Grimey. Like Grimer to Muk, this thing is just a smaller version of Grimer. Evolves at level 19. Poison type.

Growlithe pre-vo named Puddi. Absolutely adorable. Evolves at level 13. Fire type.

Weepinbell evolution named Belmitt. Evolves from Weepinbell using Poison Stone. Yes, there was a Poison Stone at some time in development of these two games. Grass/Poison type.

Farfetch’d evolution named Madame. If we give these things English fannames, I hope it’s dubbed something like Outrag’ous. Evolves from Farfetch’d at level 24. Normal/Flying type.

Pinsir evolution named Plux. Probably would’ve been good for competitive matches. Evolves at level 42. Bug type.

Scrapped Pokemon:

Next off, we have completely new Pokemon that were completely scrapped!

First off is the 1st stage evolution of the grass starter, named Blossomole. It is theorized that perhaps by the time this demo came out, they had already replaced the base stage and 2nd stage evolution of the original grass starter, and this was what was left. This makes sense considering that Chikorita and Meganium look miles different from this thing, as well as the fact that it’s name doesn’t match the naming convention of the Chikorita line. The one roadblock to this, however, is why they would replace the base stage and 2nd stage evolution and not the 1st stage evolution? Evolves from Chikorita at level 32. Grass type.

The original Gen II fire starter, named Flambear. I fail to see why they would cut out this lil guy (as well as every other beta Gen II mon for that matter), because to me he looks great! I would’ve definitely chosen him on my first play-through of Silver if I could’ve. Fire type.

Volbear, the 1st stage evolution of Flambear. He looks like he’s rocking a mullet. Reminds me of Lance Voltron. Evolves from Flambear at level 32. Fire type.

Dynabear, the 2nd stage evolution of Flambear. Would’ve been the first fire starter to not be bipedal, and would’ve prevented the chinese zodiac theory from conception. It is currently unknown at which level Volbear would need to reach in order to evolve into him. Fire type.

The original Gen II water starter, named Cruz. You could not make this stuff up if you tried. Reminds me of my uncle. Would’ve chosen him on my second play-through of Silver. It is theorized that this line influenced the Popplio line. Water type.

Aqua, the 1st stage evolution of Cruz. May or may not have been actually named Aqua, seeing as “Aqua” could be a placeholder name. Evolves from Cruz at level 32. Water type.

Aquaria is the 2nd stage evolution of Cruz. It looks pretty cool, but some think it’s a little too much of a “Nessie-esque” Pokemon which may or may not have put Lapras in the dust. It’s currently unknown at which level Aqua would require in order to be evolved into Aquaria. Water type.

Sunmola1. This pokemon, as well as its 1st and 2nd stage evolutions are theorized to have inspired the Carvanha line, as well as Huntail. Water type.

Anchorage, the 1st stage evolution of Sunmola1. This Pokemon is theorized to have inspired Sharpedo. Evolves from Sunmola1 at level 38. Water/Steel type.

Grotess, the 2nd stage evolution of Sunmola1. Theorized to have inspired Huntail, Gorebyss, and/or Lanturn. No level data available. Water/Steel type.

Rinring. Female only. Another smashing hit with fans, and adorable as can be. Dark type.

Bellboyant, the 1st stage evolution of Rinring. This Pokemon seems to have inspired the move Heal Bell. If true, it’s a shame that we never got to use said move with the Pokemon behind it. Evolves from Rinring at level 28. Dark type.

Turbann. While it looks like Slowbro and Slowking’s shell, it has no direct relation to the Slowpoke or Shellder lines. Water type.

Bomseel. Look at this thing. Just look at it. It’s awesome as heck! We could’ve had a Water/Fire type way earlier than we did! Water/Fire type.

Tigrette. A round ball of cuteness. It looks like Game Freak really had a fondness for cats when making these betamon. Electric type.

Electiger, the 1st stage evolution of Tigrette. Follows the old Gen I formula of “It just gets bigger!”. Evolves from Tigrette at level 35. Electric type.

Kurstraw. Inspired by 藁人形, or “straw figure”, a type of effigy. This is a very interesting mon, and another one who is theorized to have inspired a move. This time being Curse. The funny thing about it is it evolves at level 1, but can only learn Curse at level 100. This further cements the idea that Curse would have been it’s signature move. It is theorized that because Curse is it’s special move, when used by this mon, it would be a buffing move, instead of how curse ended up, as a move that buffs any other type mon, but when used by a Ghost type, it takes away half of it’s total HP and placing a curse on the enemy mon. Another theory is that you could use the regular form of Curse with it, sans damage. Ghost type. 

Pangshi, the 1st stage evolution of Kurstraw. Inspired by the Jiangshi, also known as the Chinese hopping vampire. Evolves from Kurstraw at level 1. Ghost type.

Wolfman. It, (as well as it’s evolved form,) is thought to have inspired the Swinub line. Ice type.

Warwolf, the 1st stage evolution of Wolfman. This particular line of mons remind me of “wolves in sheep’s clothing.”. Ice type.

Early Designs of Current Pokemon:

Early Noctowl. Then named Hoohoo. Flying type. Looks a lot cooler than what we got.

Early Tangrowth. Then named Gelania. Grass type. Evolves from Tangela at level 44. 2muchhair4me.

Early Mantine. Then named Rayleep. Water/Flying type. I wish I could show you all the back sprite. It’s literally >i can be your angle >or yuor devil

Early Pichu. Then named Pichu. Electric type. Evolves at level 12 . FREE HIM.

Early Cleffa. Then named Cleffa. Normal type. Evolves at level 12. My mom’s radio tower.

Early Igglybuff. then named Igglybuff. Normal type. Evolves at level 12. Actually Rose LaLorb. 

Early Marill. Then named Marill. Water type. No evolution. Pikablu is old news. Now we got Pinkachu.

Early Spinarak. Then named Spidette. Bug/Poison type. “Hey, guys? I think we have a problem...”.

Early Ariados. Then named Tuhedd. 1st stage evolution of Spidette. Bug/Poison type. “Where is your God now?”.

Early Sunflora. Then named Sunnee. No pre-evolution. Grass/Psychic type. “They look harmless, sure, but I heard one guy got his arm ripped off by one of them!“.

Early Politoed. Then named Politoed. Evolves from Poliwhirl using the Heart Stone. Yep, there was a Heart Stone too. Water type. “Tentaquil was real the whole time guys! I can’t believe it!“.

Early Ledian. Then named Tripstar. Bug/Flying type. Yet another mon that sheds light on pokedex entries in retrospect. “The star patterns on it’s back grow larger or smaller depending on the amount of stars in the sky.” - Pokemon Silver. “Star light, star bright...”.

Early Remoraid. Then named Remoraid. Water type. >It’s a literal gun

Early Octillery. Then named Octillery. Water Type. Evolves from Remoraid at level 34. “Who the heck brought a tank out into the middle of town?”.

Early Tyrouge. Then named Gohng. Fighting type. The kid who always tried to get into fights in elementary school.

Early Hitmontop. Then named Hitmontop. Fighting type. Evolves from Gohng at level 15. The same kid except he got worse.

Early Hoppip. Then named Lefmew. Grass/Flying type. Missing evolutionary data. :3

Early Skiploom. Then named Dandemew. Grass/Flying type. >:3

Early Jumpluff. Then named Cottomew. Grass/Flying type. Evolves from Dandemew at level 40. 0:3

Early Mime Jr. Then named Ballerine. Normal type. Evolves at level 15. “These clown eggs are highly coveted. This is a fantastic find!”.

Early Smoochum. Then named Lipp. Ice type. Evolves at level 15. It actually looks like Jynx this time.

Early Elekid. Then named Elebabee. Electric type. Male only. Evolves at level 15. “The only thing rarer than a clown egg is an electegg. Rumor has it that it can power a whole block for a week!”.

Early Magby. then named Magby. Fire type. Evolves at level 15. Cool kid on the block. Just got a Sega last week.

Early Bellossom. Then named Bellossom. Grass/Poison type. Evolves from gloom using Poison Stone. Probably made of poison ivy.

Early Delibird. Then named Ghift. Water/Ice type. “Looks like Santa came early this year!”.

Early Murkrow, Then named Murkrow. Dark/Flying. ”’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door— Only this and nothing more.”.

Early Blissey. Then named Happi. Normal type. What’s up with her head?

Early Scizor. Named Scizors. Bug/Flying type. Evolves from Scyther at level 41. Cool, I guess.

Early Porygon2, Then named Porygon2. Normal type. Evolves from Porygon with Up-Grade. “hahaha benis :DDDD”.

Early Lickylicky. Then named Likk. Normal type. Evolves from Lickitung at level 32. “World’s Biggest Tongue” - Guiness World Records.

Early Kingdra. Then named Kingdra. Dragon/Water type. Evolves from Seadra with Dragon Scale. Coolest kid’s older step-brother, coolest kid in the school.

Early Raikou. Then named Rai. Electric type. If this isn’t the epitome of sparkledogs, I don’t know what is.

Early Entei. Then named Ent. Fire type. “Rumor has it he has a second, stronger form that turns him into diamonds!”.

Early Suicune. Then named Sui. Water type. Animon’s “younger sister”.

Early Sneasel. Then named Sneasel. Dark type. A sneaky one, I’ll give it that.

Early Aipom. Then named Tael. Normal type. “What’s a Pokemon doing in my Zelda game?”.

Early Leafeon. Then named Leafeo. Grass type. Evolves from Eevee using Leaf Stone. A friend.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put on Your Raincoats #29 | Carter Stevens Double Feature

House of Sin opens with a woman's car having broken down. Who shows up and offers to help but our old friend Robert Kerman? (He plays a character named "Marvis", which not only sounds like a typo, but happens to be the name of a toothpaste brand. He dodges the question when asked if it's his first name or last name.) Lucky for her he gladly helps her put her things into his trunk and drives her over to his place where she can stay until her car situation gets sorted out. But given the title, things are not what they seem, as we soon find out. It turns out the Kerman is some sort of evil satanic figure, and the house is full of his disciples who practice some kind of devil worship through fornication. That's about all there is to the plot, and we have to sit through a number of basic variations of sex scenes, most of which end with the participants pledging their loyalty to Kerman (who watches most of the action approvingly alongside the heroine). There's little energy in the execution of most of these, although the loud squealing of the bedsprings had me a little worried about the structural integrity of the beds being used and the potential for injury for the performers. I must note that the scene with Tigr (who was my primary point of interest for this movie; judge not that ye not be judged) has her temporarily upside down. (What's she doing upside down? Because I am a gentleman, I'll let you figure it out.) There's also a BDSM scene at the end involving Phil Prince regulars Mistress Candice and David Christopher, which the heroine watches while making disgusted faces. This is therefore the most interesting sequence. A lame attempt at a mindfuck ending caps off the affair.

I've reached some kind of a shameful low point when I watch a porno and my primary criticism is that it isn't sleazy enough. Let me explain. Director Carter Stevens made this for the Avon theatre chain, which distinguished itself with cheaply made, unpleasant roughies (full of rough sex, BDSM and rape). This is supposed to be evil, satanic sex we're talking about here, but most of what follows is pretty routine stuff, and filmed in the most perfunctory way possible. I contrast this to the films Phil Prince also made for Avon, which aren't necessary more artful, but seem more committed to their depravity. (I do think those movies have an interesting, if crude, aesthetic that results from their meager production values. The ones I watched had a surprising stylistic and tonal consistency given that they were made for purely cynical reasons. They're also intentionally funnier, if usually in a more rancid way.) While I normally like Robert Kerman, he's a little too nice to play the villain here (going back to Prince's work, I think of the demonic energy George Payne brings to his roles there), and the qualities I find most intriguing about Tigr as a performer are absent here. If I can say some nice things about the movie, it's that the soundtrack (mostly punk or hard rock, some atmospheric rumbling, but with some wildly out of place twangs of sitar early on) makes this sound a lot more exciting than it is, and that the extensive print damage on the transfer I watched helped make this feel grimier than the actual direction. There's also some comedic value from the hairdo of Kerman's right hand lady, who sports an unbraided rattail. With the caveat that I actually like lady mullets, who thought this was a good hairdo? Did her stylist play a practical joke on her? These are answers House of Sin refuses to provide.

Much more fun than House of Sin, if still not especially well made, is Punk Rock, which is an attempt to mix punk, noir and porno. The story involves a private detective played by Wade Nichols as he tries to rescue a girl from a sex slavery ring run by an evil punk musician played by Elda Gentile of Elda and the Stilettos. The most notable thing about this movie is that Debbie Harry was at one point a member of the Stilettos and that Stevens originally wanted her for the role. (This seems like wishful thinking to me, as Harry was already conquering the charts with Blondie by the time this movie was made, but one can still dream.) I naturally assumed that the musicians would be nowhere near the porn elements, but nope, a late scene has Elda and her friends hanging around and offering colour commentary during a lesbian scene. Joining the fun are Robert Kerman as a police detective also investigating the case and Bobby Astyr as a low level pimp who runs an establishment called the Polynesian Pleasure Palace. It even has a pinball machine, and at one point we get a pinball montage, which I'm sure the raincoat brigade must have been thrilled to see.

To be honest, this isn't the best made movie, but the mix of elements gives it enough novelty to make it worth checking out. The sex scenes are done in a pretty perfunctory manner, but the movie comes alive during the noir elements, taking relish in the touch guy banter between Nichols and his foils. Nichols, with his chiseled jaw, immaculate mustache and steely gaze, is almost a primal image of a male pornstar, but his streetwise charisma and sarcastic delivery make him a pretty fun noir hero, and has in Kerman and Astyr two sturdy character actors to bounce off of. It helps that the movie has a decent sense of humour, like when he promises Kerman "no rough stuff" and mercilessly beats Astyr in the next scene ("That was for general principles") or when he explains the presence of a spinning dummy ("Just a routine precaution, I happen to be very popular with murderers this season"). Apparently there's a version where the hardcore footage is replaced by musical performances, and while I wouldn't say the Stilettos are all that good (oddly enough for a punk band, they have a saxophonist and two nude dancers, but I guess Blondie wasn't a typical punk band either), I suspect that version plays somewhat better given that the sex scenes are the least interesting thing about this.

[analogscum]

HARD ROCK ZOMBIES (1985, d. Krishna Shah)

NOTE: I RECOMMEND WATCHING HARD ROCK ZOMBIES BEFORE READING THIS REVIEW IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS!

Human ambition is a funny thing. It can lead to great triumphs, but also great tragedies. Without human ambition, we would not have rock n’ roll, the most vital of American art forms. On the other hand, human ambition also lead the Third Reich to exterminate more than six million Jews, Catholics, homosexuals, physically and mentally handicapped, and Romani people. How does this tie in to today’s film, Hard Rock Zombies? Well, for now, let’s just say that it is a testament to both sides of the coin of human ambition that the sickos who made Hard Rock Zombies said to themselves, we’re going to make Hard Rock Zombies…and then actually went out and made Hard Rock Zombies. I’m honestly not sure if I mean that as a compliment or not.

We open on two metalheads riding a T-Bird convertible down a winding desert road. Lo and behold, they stumble upon a buh-buh-buh-baaaaabe hitchhiking. What are they gonna do, NOT invite this bodacious blonde into their sweet ride? We now cut to a dwarf with an eyepatch and a troll dancing around with a guy holding a camera by a river. You read that right. The metalheads and the blonde pull up on the other side of the river, strip down to their skivvies, and do a little skinny dipping. Suddenly, she drowns each of them one by one! And also does something else, because the water turns blood red, but I have no idea what that could be. The camera guy takes pictures of this gristly scene, while the dwarf and the troll celebrate the carnage. They chop off one of the victims’ hands, blondie picks it up and sings “I wanna hold your hand.” Again, you read all of that right.

Cut to: our heroes, the band, whom the movie never bothers to name (seriously, this band has no name), rockin’ out before a sold out crowd. Right away, we’re confronted with the major problem of all of these 80s metal horror movies: these guys just do not sufficiently rock. I mean, they have a synth player, for cryin’ out loud! This was not too long after Van Halen risked losing their metal fanbase by adding synths to “Jump,” because synths were pop, and pop was for pussies. But seriously, these guys make Billy Joel sound like Napalm Death. Oh well, at least the crowd of roughly 12 people seems to be having a good time.

Backstage, the band strip down to their banana hammocks, and their manager, Ron, tells them that they have to have their photos taken with a bunch of groupies. None of the dudes in the band, especially the lead singer, Jesse, seem to want to do this. They’re incredibly ambivalent about potentially sleeping with these women. Which of course is par for the course for 80s metal bands. Most of Motley Crue’s autobiography, The Dirt, is about the dudes politely sipping Earl Grey tea and discussing Nietzsche. We soon get an idea as to why Jesse is not interested in all of these women who want to ride his mullet, and believe me, you’re not gonna like it.

As he’s escaping all of these annoying women who wanna show him their boobs, Jesse runs into Cassie. Now, the movie is not entirely clear on how old Cassie is supposed to be, but let’s just say she’s young. Like, teenage. Like, below the age of consent. She warns Jesse to stay out of the town of Grand Guignol (subtle), where the band is scheduled to play the next night. Jesse instantly falls in love with her, because this movie hates you, and we’re treated to white hot, sexually charged flirting such as this:

Jessie: You're neat.

Cassie: No, I'm not.

Jessie: Yeah, ya are.

Cassie: ...shakes head...

Jessie: Yeah, ya are.

Guys, it’s rare that I make a point of writing down dialogue in these movies that we talk about, but Hard Rock Zombies left me with no choice but to slam that pause button and record some of these lines, because holy macaroni, peep this screenwriting magic:

“I got it from a book. You know, a boooooooook?”

“You guys ready for the show? The loud show? Loud music show? Rock and roll?!?!”

“Oh bullshit, young stupid!”

“You suck, mister! I know it and everyone knows it!”

Eat your heart out, Aaron Sorkin!

So the band arrives in Grand Guignol, and wouldn’t you know it, they pick up the same hitchhiking blonde, who invites them to stay at her family’s mansion. The family is pretty normal, you’ve got blondie, the photographer, the dwarf, the troll, the groundskeeper who, um, is that a Swastika armband he’s wearing, and grandma and grandpa, who speak in thick German accents and we meet them while they’re in the bone zone and the dwarf and the troll are watching them. Oh, and by the way, they’re secretly Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, and Eva Braun is a werewolf. I PROMISE THAT ALL OF THIS IS TRUE.

As it turns out, everyone in Grand Guignol is a backwards rube who thinks that rock n’ roll is the devil’s music that will lead to “physical sex” (again, actual quote). So they get super duper outraged when the band engages in some antics that wouldn’t be out of place in an episode of The Monkees. They skateboard around, do silly dances, and mug for the camera. The sheriff throws them in jail, the town council cancels their concert, and outlaw all rock n’ roll in general, leading to a scene where everyone throws their records and tapes in a pile and destroys them (again, subtle).

Meanwhile, Jesse and Cassie keep running into each other and falling deeper and deeper in love, and the movie keeps rubbing our faces in their obvious age difference, because apparently the overt Nazi imagery wasn’t cringeworthy enough. Just wait until we get to the song he writes about her, because you’ll have to go to jail once you hear it. They practice at the creepy mansion, and the family tries to electrocute them. That doesn’t work, so instead they murder the band members one by one overnight. The drummer is stabbed in a terrible homage to the Psycho shower scene, the keyboardist is felled by werewolf Eva Braun, I don’t remember what happens to the guitarist, I think he falls out of a window or something, and Jesse is crucified and disembowled with a weed hacker by the groundskeeper. This means Hitler is finally ready to turn California into the fourth reich…here we go…no turning back…complete with gas chambers. Which come into play later. THIS IS ALL FROM A REAL MOVIE THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Luckily, before he croaked, Jesse gave Cassie a tape he made of a bass lick that can raise the dead. Look, just roll with me here, ok? You’ve made it this far. So Cassie plays the tape at the band’s grave, and they rise from the dead, ready to get revenge on Hitler and Eva Braun and co. In zombie form, they all sport weird mime makeup that kinda looks like KISS in the early days before they figured out their image, and they walk around as if they’re doing a combination of the robot and the Macarena. These are both choices that the filmmakers made. So they pretty much instantly murderize the Hitler clan with no problems, but whoops, they don’t stay dead for long, because now they’re zombies too, and they’re attacking all the hicks in town, which makes THEM zombies. Now we’ve got Nazi zombies and redneck zombies running around, which is not an ideal situation to say the least, but for now, the band have to go play their big gig.

This is where we finally get to hear Jesse’s love ballad to Cassie in it’s entirety, and, well, here it is…

“I’m so in love, but you’re so young.” BARF BARF BARF BARF ETERNAL BARF. Anyway, see ya in jail, which is where I live now because of this song!

I’m really loathe to talk about the rest of the movie, because at this point, it takes a turn into goofy comedy, and just completely falls flat. Not that their satirical bits about the PMRC and anti-metal hysteria were all that biting, but at least they were trying to say something, whereas these Zucker brothers-lite groaners are just insufferable. There’s a gag about a girlfriend who’s so possessive of her boyfriend that she won’t let any other women get near his severed head after a zombie rips it off, which the filmmakers obviously thought was beyond hilarious, but is really torturous. Then there’s an even less funny gag where some Pointdexter is like, hey, since zombies are brainless, they must be, like, allergic to brains? So if we all walk around with these giant cardboard cutout heads, they’ll leave us alone? Huh? And of course it doesn’t work, and of course the zombies just eat everybody, and as he’s being devoured, the Pointdexter yells, “Don’t believe everything you read!” Ugggh, read this: you suck, movie.

OK, there is one running gag from this section that I liked: after the troll becomes a zombie, he just eats his own body until he’s a burping skull. I happened to think that was charming and great.

Eventually the townsfolk try to sacrifice Cassie to the zombies, because they read that if the undead feast upon a virgin, then they’ll rest for another hundred years. Whatever. So Cassie is totally about to be gang banged and devoured by zombie Hitler and his gang (wow, what a sentence), when luckily the band shows up, and lures them away by playing that resurrection riff that Jesse learned from a book (you know, a booooooook?!?!) And where do they lure them? Ugh, sorry…here goes…they lure them to the gas chambers, where they’re all gassed to death. You know, like in the Holocaust? I have nothing more to say.

The film ends, in perfect fashion, by spelling co-writer/director Krishna Shah’s name wrong in the credits. Fantastic.

When a movie looks particularly bad, I often like to say that it reminds me of a fake movie meant to play in the background of a real movie. Well, as it turns out, that’s the actual origin story of Hard Rock Zombies. Originally, the film was supposed to be 20 minutes long and featured as the movie the characters in another Krishna Shah production, American Drive-In, go to see. Apparently Shah decided at some point that he could double his profits by turning Hard Rock Zombies into its own feature film. This begs the question: is this where all the Nazi stuff was added? Because it’s easy to imagine characters in a movie occasionally checking in with the drive-in movie and seeing a bunch of rockers rising from the grave, but that Hitler subplot is just so bizarre and so incongruous that I can’t help but think it was tacked on.

Hard Rock Zombies is the craziest film I’ve seen in awhile. It approaches Demonwarp and Spookies levels of what the hell am I watching madness. You genuinely will not be able to predict where this movie is gonna go from scene to scene. However, the tacked on nature of that madness keeps you at arms length a bit, and eventually it just becomes tiresome once you realize it’s not going anywhere beyond mere shock value. I mean, this movie is nearly an hour and forty minutes, and ends with a scene in a goddamn GAS CHAMBER. So, by all means, show this one to your friends, just don’t blame me if they never talk to you again. You may be right, they may be crazy, but in the end, it’s still rock n’ roll to me.

[mothmanismyuncle]

The Devil in My Bloodstream

Psssh, I’m not projecting, you’re projecting.

Yes, there will be smut in future chapters. I’ll demarcate where the smut will be, and there will not be too many serious plot points during the smut, so if anybody wants to skip out, they may do so safely!

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Link to the series on AO3 and this chapter.

Tagging @bitchniz​

           Lance was waiting on his porch the following morning. Keith couldn’t help but think that he lit up when he heard the motorcycle come up his driveway.

           “Good morning!” He crowed. “Did you eat and everything?”

           “Uh, yeah,” Keith assured. Lance gave him a lopsided grin.

           “Mama’s been trying to get you to come inside all last week so she could feed you and tell you that you’re too skinny.” He admitted. “The only one she leaves alone is Hunk, and even then she makes sure he’s drinking whole milk and not skim.” Keith chuckled.

           “She’d probably die at our place, then. Me and Shiro are lactose intolerant.” Lance chuckled.

           “She’d ask you how you expect to milk a soybean.” They laughed at that, and Lance put on Shiro’s helmet.

           “So did you and Shiro, er, Mr. Shirogane?” He stuttered. Keith laughed again.

           “You can call him Shiro when we’re not at school.” Lance nodded gratefully.

           “You guys have a good time Saturday? We hang out at the Starlite all the time, and if you guys want, you can always be invited,” Lance babbled. “Coran’s always on the lookout for more people to strangle with his old stories, and Allura was probably grateful for the break from our idiocy,”

           “We did,” Keith broke in, starting his bike. “If you’d have us again, we’d love to come.” Lance was glad Keith stopped him from making a complete ass of himself.

           “Great! Yeah, we usually go every Saturday, but sometimes after the one club meeting we’ll stop by.” Keith nodded.

           “What club is it? Shiro’s been bugging me to join clubs,” They pulled out of the driveway.

           “Oh, nothing good! It’s uh, a young leadership thing. Super boring, but Mama wants it on my resume, you know,” Lance babbled. Keith frowned.

           “That sounds like exactly the thing that Shiro would want me to join,” He sighed. He tried to tell Shiro that he didn’t have a leadership bone in his body, but Shiro had insisted.

           “You know what club is really fun,” Lance began. He was essentially yelling in the general direction of Keith’s right ear. “Is drama club. Boy, I love drama club,”

           “So you stalled him.” Hunk said from the stove. Lance sighed and leaned on Pidge’s workbench. They squawked and batted him away before turning back to the robot-in-process.

           “Sure, but for how long? And besides, I feel like this is just cruel,” Lance replied.

           “Can I get a hand?” Pidge broke on. Lance rolled his eyes and reached out for the wires Pidge was holding. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his mind. Pidge would get pissed if he accidentally fried Rover while thinking about a certain mullet. “A little more juice,” Lance upped the amps flowing through his body until Pidge called for a halt.

           “You got it?” Lance asked.

           “Yep. This should actually be it,” Pidge put their palms on the creation and their eyes flashed lime green. “Yeah. That’s it. You folks ready?”

           “Yeah, go ahead.” Hunk said, eagerly watching the robot. Pidge whistled.

           “Rover! Here boy,” The pyramidal robot shook to life and picked itself up off the workbench. “Good boy,” Pidge cooed. The newly-dubbed Rover hovered behind them. “It’s an assistant bot! Rover here has similar hacking magic that I do. Even though it’s limited, he can open doors, get data from servers, bring down internet connectivity, and even run a few basic scripts!” Lance stared at the thing blankly. “Oh, and he’s got WiFi.”

           “What the password?” Lance tugged his phone out.

           “You’re already connected,” Pidge said smugly.

           “This is why I love you, Pidgeon,” Lance said, smiling. One thing made him pause. “How do you do that, anyway?”

           “Oh, I can get into your phones with my head like I do mine.” Lance paled and gasped. “You should really clear your cache more often.”

           “You can’t go looking through a guy’s search history like that! It’s-it’s-it’s illegal, and immoral, and rude!” Hunk chuckled.

           “What are you so scared of, Lance? Nervous Pidge will find all the searches for mullets?” Pidge cackled.

           “Not just any mullets, motorcycle mullets,” Pidge taunted. Lance, outraged, pounced on Pidge and clamped a hand over their mouth. In retaliation, Pidge licked his palm, but Lance laughed darkly.

           “You forget: I’m the oldest of five. I’m not afraid of you, Pidgeon.” Pidge stilled for a moment, and Lance shrieked in pain. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

           “Be afraid.” Lance held up his hand.

           “The little gremlin bit me!” Hunk laughed.

           “Need some ointment?” He offered. He finished stirring the mixture in the pot thirty-three times, clockwise, and opened up a drawer.

           “Got anything that’ll make sure I don’t get rabies?” Lance growled, making his way over to Hunk’s workstation. “I juice up Rover and this is the thanks I get,”

           “Lance, I know that you think keeping Keith in the dark is terrible and all, and I agree. I like him. Maybe not as much as you,” Lance glared. “Okay, definitely not as much as you, but I like him a lot. I want him to be our friend. But he can’t know about this. It keeps us safe, and it’ll keep him safe too, in the long run.” Hunk said, smoothing some balm on Lance’s hand. The teeth marks went away immediately and Lance was met with a pleasant cooling sensation.

           “But what if he asks us to hang out?” Lance said, flopping down on one of the bar stools near Hunk.

           “Can you heat this?” Hunk murmured, handing Lance an Erlenmeyer flask. “About 300 degrees.” Lance placed a palm on the bottom of the flask and continued to swirl it around as it bubbled. “Then you tell him what we always do: we’re busy, want to hang tomorrow?”

           “Hunk, we’ve never had to tell anybody that,” Pidge said, inspecting Rover’s exterior.

           “Everybody we’ve ever been friends with is in here.” Lance gestured with his free hand. “Keith is… Different. And besides,” Lance said, face darkening. “We’ve gone and ruined him. I’d say that for his sake, we should let him go. Make him go be friends with somebody else. But everybody’s already seen him with us.”

           “Nobody wants to be friends with the circus freaks,” Pidge grumbled.

           “Hey.” Hunk said sternly. “No using the f-word.”

           “Fucking. Freaks.” Lance sighed. Hunk bristled but continued mincing a root that smelled like Lance’s mom’s cooking to his nose, but Hunk’s grandma’s incense to his. “We’re going to have to do something soon. He’s definitely on to us.”

            “He’s hiding something,” Keith said into Shiro’s carpet.

           “You know I haven’t vacuumed up here since we moved in,” Shiro said mildly. There was a long pause, where Keith made it clear that he wouldn’t comment on that statement, and Shiro sighed. “Why do you think he’s hiding something?”

           “He won’t tell me what club he, Hunk, and Pidge are in. He keeps being so secretive about the club and what they do there, and when I told him I’m supposed to join clubs, he tried to tell me I didn’t want to join their club.” Keith frowned. “What could they be doing that they don’t want me around?”

           “Well, when do they meet?” Shiro shuffled a few papers around on his desk. “I’ve got the full list of clubs here, and we could figure out what club it is, see if he’s just embarrassed about a hobby.” Keith peeled himself off the floor and flopped down on the corner of Shiro’s bed closest to his desk.

           “What hobby would he be embarrassed about?” Keith snorted.

           “You never know. What if he’s in like, horse riding club?” Shiro said, shrugging. “When do they meet?”

           “He said they meet Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after school.” Shiro scanned the pages and frowned, flipping back and forth.

           “None of the clubs meet during all three of those days. You sure it wasn’t two different ones?” Keith crossed his arms.

           “He kept talking about it like it was just the one, and then when I asked him, he said it was a youth leadership club. Singular.” Shiro leaned back in his chair and mirrored Keith, gripping his bicep. Both boys had the same expression on, one that they’d jokingly label their dad’s ‘Serious Expression Number One’ had they not been deep in considerations.

           “Why would he lie about being in a club in the first place, if it wasn’t even a club?” Shiro wondered aloud. “And you’re sure he’s doing stuff at this time, and not just trying to cover for needing to be home?”

           “I’m not sure. He doesn’t get a ride home from me those days.” Keith offered. “And he seemed really jazzed about riding to and from school with me, for some reason,” Shiro grinned.

           “Oh, I could think of a few reasons,” Keith turned red and mashed his face with his palms. “I’m just saying, I used to take prospective dates out on rides around the lake, just them, me, the bike,”

           “Focus, Shiro.” Keith snapped. “Maybe I’ll invite him over Wednesday, then see what he says.”

           “I know this is revolutionary,” Shiro began. “But why don’t you just ask him? Outright, no crazy plots or plans.”

           “But he might not answer me,” Keith frowned.

           “And that’s well within his rights, Keith. The two of you don’t owe each other anything. If he wants to have secrets, he’s allowed. Just let him know that he doesn’t have to lie to you about it because that’s the part you’re pissed about, isn’t it?” Shiro said gently. Keith sighed and flopped back onto the bed.

           “Yeah. I don’t care what he’s doing,” Keith waved a hand in the air. “He could be sitting at his house in his underwear watching TV after school three days a week, I don’t care. I just want him to be honest about it.” Keith took a few deep breaths, and Shiro let him have his moment. “Why are you in my brain?” Shiro laughed.

           “Because that’s my job, little bro. Text your friend. I need to finish grading these papers.” Keith sat up and slid down from the bed. He paused on his way past Shiro, hooking him into a hug from behind.

           “Thanks,” Keith said quietly. “You’re the best.”

Mysterious Motorcycle Mullet Man: hey, do you have a minute?

lance: Yeah! What’s up?

lance: You okay?

lance: Keith?

Mysterious Motorcycle Mullet Man: i was just wondering, i guess. i know that the thing you go to after school isn’t a club, which is totally fine. we just met and i don’t want to give you the wrong idea but like, you don’t have to lie to me. you’ve got a thing with hunk and pidge mondays, wednesdays, and fridays, and that’s cool. i respect your privacy. but like, it kinda messed with me that you said it was a club and it wasn’t, you know?

           “We have to tell him,” Lance said, looking from his phone to Hunk, to Pidge. “I didn’t think he’d be upset about it.” Hunk frowned deeply, reading the text again.

           “Lance’s right.” Pidge finally said. “What would we think if the situation was reversed?”

           “I’d think you didn’t like me,” Lance said quietly. “That you were only friends with me because I’m the new kid.”

           “That’s not true, and you know that.” Hunk said. “He fits with us so well. He fights with you, messes up Pidge’s hair, is nice to my parents.” Hunk sighed. “But what if he tells someone? We don’t know if we can trust him.”

           “Who’s going to believe him if he does tell?” Pidge replied. “He’s a new kid, and while everybody thinks we’re weird, I don’t think they immediately jump to ‘witches’.”

           “What do I say?” Lance said, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. Hunk drummed his hands on the steering wheel.

           “Ask him if he wants us to come over.” Hunk finally said. Lance replied, and his phone lit up again almost instantaneously.

           “He said sure. Shiro’s home.” Lance reported. “Should we tell him, too?”

           “He’s going to know the second we leave anyway,” Pidge said wryly. “Matt already knows you like Keith.” Lance didn’t even object as Hunk turned the car around.

           “Call your parents, then call mine.” Hunk sighed.

           “Uh, Shiro?” Keith knocked on the doorframe. Shiro turned around in his chair.

           “Did you ask?” Keith nodded. “What did he say?” Keith passed the phone over and Shiro read through the messages. “You worded that really well. I’m proud of you.” Shiro murmured. “They’re coming over now?”

           “I guess,” Keith mumbled. “Is that okay?”

           “Yeah, I guess, but how suspicious can you get?” Shiro replied, frowning and handing back the phone. “Do you mind if I grade papers at the table?”

           “No, absolutely,” Keith agreed. He helped Shiro schlepp his teetering stack of lab reports and discussion questions to the kitchen table, and tried to make it look like he’d been there awhile. Keith started tea, forgot about tea, and tried to make a new cup before Shiro pointed out his old cup cooling on the counter.

           “Hey. They’re not going to do anything crazy.” Shiro reassured him. “They’re a bunch of high school students. How bad can it be?”

           A knock at the front door had Keith running through the scenarios in his head. What if they’re drug lords? What if they’re assassins? What if they’re drug lord assassin spies for the government?

           “Are you gonna get it or am I?” Shiro asked flatly. Keith’s legs carried him, of their own will, to the front door.

           “Hey,” He gasped. “Do you guys want some tea?” Hunk and Lance shared a look as Pidge flopped down on the couch.

           “Sure,” Hunk said, forcibly light. “What kind do you have?”

           “Uh, some green, some herbal,” Keith said. “I’m partial to a lavender chamomile,”

           “Oh, wow, can I have some of that? It’s good for, uh. For nerves.” Hunk tugged on his shirt.

           “Nerds,” Pidge hissed, grinning. It relieved some of the tension.

           “Hi, guys,” Shiro greeted from the table. “How’s Monday treating you?”

           “As good as Mondays can, I guess,” Lance said, chuckling and rubbing the back of his neck. “What about you?”

           “I guess I learned the first rule of being a high school teacher,” Shiro said as Keith glared the tea kettle into submission. “Weekend homework means Monday grading.” Hunk and Pidge groaned.

           “You’re telling me,” Pidge whined. Shiro laughed, and Keith juggled four mugs of tea, depositing one in front of each person, before going back to clutch his like a lifeline. He perched on the couch with Lance, and the four looked at each other with varying degrees of mild panic.

           “Well, this is delightful,” Pidge snarked.

           “Pidgeon,” Lance snapped, before taking a deep breath. “Look at us. We’re idiots,” He breathed, chuckling. “Alright, so… We’ve never done this before, so, I guess it’s just going to be awkward.” Shiro could hear Keith grinding his teeth from the kitchen. “We’ve been secretive, but we think it’s with good reason. What we’re going to show you—“ Hunk hissed, “Show?” and Lance waved a hand at him. “What we’re going to show you will probably freak you out, and we don’t want to lose a friend over it, so just… Keep an open mind, alright?”

           “Lance,” Keith sighed, and in his driest voice, he continued. “I once sat outside with a flashlight and a tape recorder, trying to catch Bigfoot mating calls on tape. If my mind got any more open, the damn thing would fall out.” Shiro snorted into his tea.

           “You might want to come over for this, too, Shiro,” Pidge said seriously.

           “I’ll go first,” Lance said, setting his tea back down on the coffee table. Shiro drifted into the living room and leant against the wall, watching Lance curiously. “Here goes nothing.” He put his hand out, palm up, and shut his eyes. For a moment, Keith wondered what in the hell he was supposed to be watching, until a small flame flickered to life in the centre of Lance’s palm. It danced for a heartbeat before Lance took a deep breath and it grew. It engulfed his whole hand, then his arm, and began to turn blue. Keith could feel the heat radiating off of him. As quickly as it came, it vanished, and Lance shifted. He held his hands about a foot apart in front of him, and in moments, a spark of electricity jumped between them. Keith jumped, and finally, Lance took a deep, deep breath and exhaled onto the fingertips of his hand. Ice crystals formed around his fingers and icicles dangled down his wrist. He opened his eyes, and the worry there made Keith’s heart clench.

           “Oh,” Keith said. “What…?”

           “I can do wind, too, but… Not in the house.” Lance said sheepishly.

           “I appreciate it,” Shiro said levelly. Keith looked over at him, and his eyes were blown wide.

           “You guys too?” Keith asked, voice cracking.

           “Uh, kinda.” Hunk supplied. “Mine’s not really, uh, demonstrative. I do potions?” He said. It sounded like a question. “If you ever got a headache, give me a buzz,”

           “And I’m a techromancer.” Pidge supplied with a grin.

           “No, no, no. Lame,” Lance cut in. “You can’t just say ‘techromancer’, you sound like a bad eighties sci-fi flick,”

           “What if that’s the plan?” Pidge scoffed. “Even a bad eighties sci-fi flick is better than a good new sci-fi flick,”

           “Name one!” Lance exclaimed.

           “Uh, Blade Runner,” Keith said, automatically. “Please, it’s a masterpiece,”

           “Thank you,” Pidge said, waving a hand at Keith.

           “The Terminator? Back to the Future?” Keith continued.

           “We’re forgetting the most important one,” Shiro said, raising his hand. “Flash Gordon.”

           “Just because you have a hard-on for Flash,” Keith scoffed.

           “Who doesn’t have a hard-on for Flash?” Lance asked incredulously.

           “Okay, I really, really, don’t want to talk about any hard-on, ever.” Hunk said, looking violently green. There was a moment where everyone in the room tried to process the past ten minutes, and Keith broke the silence with a wheezing laugh. Lance soon joined in, and even Hunk managed to chuckle.

           “Are we okay?” Lance finally asked. The same worried look from before came back, and Keith nodded once.

           “We’re okay.”

[mushville-blog1]

College Football week 10

I cursed myself last week, because I mentioned I was in dangerous territory where one lousy week could doom me. Well, I had the aforementioned lousy week going 1-4. My record is now 31-28-2, which is much closer to the 50% mark, then the 60% mark that I aim for every season. I got hosed by USF and Colorado State (again).  This week I’ve got some games I really like, plus some money line dogs. Let’s get to the picks: Navy (-7, o/u 55) @ Temple – Thursday night game This line is all over the place, anywhere from 7, 7.5 or 8 depending on where you shop/play. I played it at 7 (20 minutes ago), so that’s what I am going with. Temple has been playing better football as of late and they did see a triple option attack in Army (who they lost to in OT). The Navy attack is a bit better and different, because unlike Army, Navy will throw and complete an occasional forward pass. In fact, when they do throw, it tends to hit for a big play. This is a huge game for Navy in the AAC, as they have two conference losses, including one to division leading Memphis. Another loss all but ends their hopes for a spot in the AAC Championship game. Tight game, eventually I like the Midshipmen to cover the 7.

Minnesota @ Michigan (-15.5, o/u 40.5) - I am still not sure what the oddsmakers and bookies are seeing in this Michigan team. If you ignore the stats and their terrible record ATS (2-5-1, 0-4 at home), the eye test tells you this Wolverines team has major problems on offense. They are getting terrible QB play and are relying on their defense to win games for them. That is not a great formula when you are routinely a double digit favorite. Minnesota is pretty much the definition of average. They are 4-4 under boat rower PJ Fleck, 3-4-1 ATS (1-1-1 on the road). They don’t do anything great, but they aren’t really bad at any phase of the game either. That’s fine for my purposes, as they are just average enough to not get blown out by this version of Michigan. I’m rolling the dice that Michigan can’t beat anyone by 15.5, I’m taking the Gophers getting the points. UCF (-14.5 o/u 75) @ SMU - Another AAC tilt between the front runner UCF and upstart SMU. Huge game for both teams, as UCF is pushing hard for a conference title and the Group of 5 spot in a New Year’s Six bowl. SMU still has hopes of winning their division and a loss here puts them in jeopardy for that. If you haven’t watched UCF play this year, you are missing out. Their offense is fantastic as they are averaging 51 points per game. Defensively, they haven’t been bad either giving up just under 20ppg. They will get a test on defense from a very good, balanced SMU offense that is no slouch with their 41.5ppg average. You can probably figure out where my pick is heading and that is the over. It’s a big number and there is a chance this is a UCF blowout, but that shouldn’t impact the total.  Take the over here and enjoy this one.

Colorado @ Arizona State (-4, o/u 58) - Another line that is different depending on where you play. I have it at 3, but it seems the consensus has moved to 4, so we’ll go with 4. Sun Devils came back to earth a bit with their annual ass kicking at the hands of USC. Don’t read too much into that game in terms of how you evaluate ASU. They’re still wildly athletic, can put points on you in a hurry and now that their defense stopped blitzing every down, they are at least average. If you follow me on Twitter, you know I am not a big fan of this year’s Colorado team. I know they pummeled Cal last week, but they aren’t anything special.  QB play has been inconsistent, their running game isn’t as good as it was last year despite Phillip Lindsay still being there and this defense gets gashed in most games. I like ASU to bounce back, close game that they end up covering. Play Arizona State minus the 4.

Nevada @ Boise State (-22, o/u 58) - You didn’t think I’d get through my picks without one from the Mountain Best Conference did you? The 1-7 Wolfpack travel to Blue Turf Hell Stadium to face the Broncos. This should be a cakewalk for Boise, but there are some interesting trends that I couldn’t ignore after researching this one. Despite their record, Nevada is decent ATS; 4-3 overall and 2-2 on the road. Boise is 3-5, just 1-3 at home, including a straight up loss as a 14 point favorite vs Virginia. Virginia was too fast on offense, had better athletes and the better QB. Nevada may not have better athletes, but the QB debate is up for discussion. Nevada’s Ty Gangi has been pretty good this year. His numbers are better than both Boise QB’s (Rypien and Cozart). The Wolfpack’s problems have not been offense, as they put up 35ppg in MWC play. I’m not saying Nevada pulls a Virginia and wins the game, but this spread is too big for me to pass up. I’ll take Nevada getting 22 points.

Okay, so now let’s do some gambling. Last week I rolled with Iowa State +223, last night it was Central Michigan +155. I did take one in the nuts with Texas A&M, so please don’t be under the impression that I am some sort of underdog Svengali. Here are the two dogs I like straight up:

Syracuse (+175) @ Florida State -

By all means, go ahead and take the Cuse +5 here, but let’s take it a step further. This is not the FSU you are accustomed to seeing. If you needed any more evidence of that, go re-watch them quit about halfway thru their beat down at the hands of Boston College last Friday night. They are struggling on offense due to freshman QB James Blackman playing like a true freshman. He is turning the ball over and putting their defense in short fields or making them stay on the field way too long. That formula, against Syracuse QB Eric Dungey and this offense will get you killed. Dungey has been really good this year, minus his first half at Miami. FSU might still have better talent according to ESPN/Rivals rankings, but it’s not showing on the field this season. Take the Orange to add to the miserable season of Florida State and make some decent cash in the process.

Oklahoma (+120) at Oklahoma State -

Okay, so not a huge reach here, but the Sooners are a dog and +120 beats -110 when it comes to your wallet. I am going to leave the analysis and trend to talk to real handicappers. This one is gut and eye test. I just don’t believe in or trust this Oklahoma State team. Before last week, they had screwed me every single week with either not hitting an over or covering a spread. I’ve been wrong on them nearly every week, so it’s entirely possible I am wrong again. Both teams are great on offense, they put 11 men on the field when they are allegedly on defense and they have two great college QB’s. We don’t really have a track record on Lincoln Riley in big games so far, but we have one on the human mullet Mike Gundy. I know I don’t trust him to win a big one (he really should have lost that Texas game, let’s be honest here) so I’ll take the new guy and Baker Mayfield. Florida (+145) at Missouri - New coach energy, an actual college QB taking snaps (Malik Zaire) and Florida gets to play a team with possible the worst defense in the Power 5 conferences (yes, even worse than Texas Tech). I’m hoping the Gators sack up and put it together for one game this season.

[cluedup]

it’s time for another stream of consciousness that’s too long for twitter...

I saw IT yesterday and I liked it but I have some criticisms too. I haven’t read any other reviews so maybe this has all been talked to death already, but I don’t care lol.

first and foremost:

Beverly Marsh’s character...wtf? I don’t really take issue with the whole slut rumour thing, although it felt pretty useless even as a flimsy plot device to escalate things with her father, but that whole half-hearted love triangle was absolutely pointless and just confusing. her interactions with Ben were cute, but good god was it all glossed over.

she liked the secret admirer note, right, and she hoped it was from Bill, yeah? I guess? I mean, it was implied...ish...and she found out it wasn’t...ok...and then there were some weird interactions between Bill and Bev like we get it, this 15 year old is hot for this 15 year old.

but why did she keep flip-flopping between these two children??? it’s not just the act itself of being like “oh which one should I choose!” (which was so out of place in this movie), it’s how it was portrayed. one second Ben is kissing Bev to get her out of that floating coma shit (which, what the fuck) and then at the end she’s kissing bill and smearing blood all over his face? why was there romance in this film anyway? this is a horror film for adults, we don’t want to see kids macking on each other, you freaks. Ben’s crush on Beverly is cute and it makes sense since she’s a cute girl who’s nice to him, but why did they try to make it such a big part of the plot? I thought it was all about sticking together as friends...whatever!

I get that it’s difficult to flesh out so many characters in 2 hours but she was so two-dimensional. using heavily implied sexual abuse to make her more real really didn’t do much. it mostly felt cheap. don’t get me wrong, I really felt for her in those scenes and it was hugely disturbing, but those character moments felt so disconnected from her other manic pixie dream girl moments. and then to show everyone watching her as she sunbathes, in contrast with (or right in line with) her hellish home life, is just kind of sick. and the pharmacist flirting with her...I just wanna know what the fuck everyone was thinking! I guess it’s King’s fault but still!

secondly:

Pennywise isn’t that scary. he just doesn’t look scary. which is fine, I’m just saying. mostly he was funny. the projector scene was cool though, I think I had a dream last night that kind of adapted it lol. the painting lady was stupid and I don’t know if I missed the significance of WHY that was Stan’s fear??? but why was it??? Stan was kind of useless, I wish they cut him out and used his screen time to show the other characters.

thirdly!

so many gd plot holes...I get that it’s a long book, but when you’re adapting something to a screenplay I think it’s fine to leave out details as long as the movie can stand on its own. I read half of the book back in junior high so I barely remember anything, but that shouldn’t even be relevant because knowledge of the book shouldn’t be a prerequisite.

the historical background of Pennywise and his murders was interesting at the beginning but unless I’m remembering incorrectly, it was hardly relevant as the movie progressed. they didn’t use any of that info, except to figure out he comes out every 27 years. but why should I care?

I couldn’t stand the ending. ending it with a kiss?? really?? the HIV blood pact was dumb enough but nooo they had to take it there. why did they all leave one by one after just discussing how Pennywise might not actually be gone and uhhh they just spent the entire movie learning that they shouldn’t be on their own????

here’s something that I’m sure could be explained by the book but since I wasn’t reading the book, I was expecting the movie to explain it: is he eating these kids or what? why are they fuckin floating around his hovel?

maybe this will all be addressed in the second movie, but I wish they’d at least acknowledged that we don’t know this shit by having a character question it or something.

I really liked most of the characters though, and I loved the dialogue between the kids. Eddie was my fucking FAAAVE, he is so goddamn cute!!! Bill and Richie and Ben and Mike were cute too and I was so sad for Georgie, omg his crying when his arm was ripped off shook me to the core bitch! the older teenagers were evil devils, when mullet boy started carving into Ben’s stomach I was once again...shaken...the terrible things kids do, man. they were the scariest part of the movie, along with some of the parents.

the horror scenes were also super easily discernible from the “we’re just funny kids” slice of life scenes. which is...pretty typical, I guess. you knew exactly when to expect a jump scare, and when to relax.

but ya...I enjoyed it!

[junker-town]

Why is it taking Jaromir Jagr so long to find a new NHL contract?

Yes, he’s 45 years old, but Jagr can still play. So why is he still a free agent?

Nearly a month ago, future Hall of Famer and noted mullet enthusiast Jaromir Jagr took to Twitter with a plea to the NHL: somebody give me a job playing hockey. He said nobody had called him about returning for a 24th season, and while it was clearly playful in nature, you also figure those tweets wouldn’t have happened if he was on the cusp of a contract.

Now it’s several weeks later, with the big rush of free agency well in the rearview mirror, and Jagr is in the same spot. Slowly but surely, the big names left beside him on the free agent market have been scooped up. On Thursday, Andrei Markov, arguably the top defenseman left, announced he’s leaving for the KHL.

Could Jagr, one of the greatest players in NHL history, actually be forced into a similar path, finishing out his career in a foreign league? One upside of the possibility would be a chance to lead the Czech Republic in the 2018 Olympics, where NHL players will be disallowed from participation.

But that’s not how a legend like Jagr should be forced to go out, not when he’s clearly got something left in the tank. Even if the NHL is a young man’s game, we’ve established that Jagr isn’t your usual 45-year-old. And he’s giving all indications he’s not ready to move on yet:

Jaromir @68Jagr skated with his hometown club Kladno. NHL is still priority for him. "I don´t think I am so bad that I couldn´t play there."

— Zdenek Janda (@zdenek_janda) July 24, 2017

So why has Jagr had a tough time finding a gig so far? Let’s dig into the situation.

Jagr can still contribute to an NHL team

This would seem like the first stumbling block in Jagr finding a job, but it shouldn’t be. He’s still a better player than a lot of younger guys who received contracts from NHL teams this summer without issue.

Even with a 20-point drop in production last season, Jagr still put up a respectable 16 goals and 30 assists with the Panthers. He also played in all 82 games, showing durability despite his age. The last time Jagr missed more than 10 games in an NHL season was 2001-02 with the Capitals.

Getting 46 points might not stand out for a five-time Art Ross Trophy winner, but that still places him firmly as a good top-nine forward in the NHL. There are also underlying numbers that indicate his effectiveness.

The most obvious is that Jagr still generates shots at a high level. Last season, he actually saw an increase in his shot rate, but his shooting percentage dropped from 18.8 percent to 8.9 percent, so his goal total dropped as a result. However, as a career 13.6 percent shooter, you can figure that Jagr probably won’t shoot below nine percent again. At 5-on-5, he took seven shots per 60 minutes, which is right in line with his numbers for the past five seasons.

Jagr’s also been effective at driving possession, which is a staple of his game. Last season, the Panthers posted a 55.4 percent even strength Corsi with Jagr on the ice, per Hockey-Reference. Without him, that number dropped a massive 6.7 percent. Among forwards to play at least 70 games last season, only 14 had a higher impact on possession when on/off the ice.

So Jagr can still bring it, even if he’s no longer a clear No. 1 line winger. If you had someone playing this well on your second or third line, that’s pretty dang good.

It may come down to asking price

Over the past few seasons, Jagr hasn’t exactly come cheap, however. Here are the past four contracts he’s signed with the Devils and Pathers, via Cap Friendly:

2012-13: One year, $4 million 2013-14: One year, $5.5 million 2015-16: One year, $5.405 million 2016-17: One year, $5.515 million

So you can reasonably assume that even now at age 45, he’s still expecting at least a one-year contract in the $5-5.5 million range. That’s no small chunk of change for an NHL team, particularly when they’re all operating under a $75 million hard cap. There are lots of teams that straight up cannot afford to pay Jagr that kind of money.

If Jagr is holding firm that he will only return to the NHL on a deal worth that much money, it might not be surprising that he’s still available. The market is presumably hoping that he’ll come down in price and join a team at a more reasonable cost. He’s waiting for that one team to get antsy enough to pay him what he wants. It only takes one.

But as that game of chicken goes on, somebody will have to bite the bullet if Jagr is to return for another season. Either the checkbook opens up and Jagr gets the $5 million-plus that he wants, or Jagr backs down from his price and accepts a smaller contract to continue his sequel to Tuck Everlasting.

Somebody should find a compromise here

Once you’ve got an idea of Jagr’s asking price and past production, the question becomes whether he’s worth it. Is a veteran winger who drives possession, offers a good lefty shot on the power play, and gives you 50 points worth $5 million for a year?

There are teams with the cap space to find common ground with Jagr. Maybe he doesn’t get the full money million he’s asking for, but he becomes a lot more palatable if he’ll come down to $4 million. As an over-35 player, he can also take a bonus-laden deal, so a team could transfer some of the risk into bonuses that he’d only attain by staying healthy.

Jagr is good enough to be in the NHL, and his asking price likely isn’t so out of whack as to be impossible to work with. The Canadiens have full roster with over $8 million in cap space. The Predators should have money left over after signing Ryan Johansen. The Oilers, Devils, Blue Jackets, and Sharks are other possible suitors, just looking at teams with cap space.

If we’re talking a one-year deal, then the risk involved is pretty limited for most of these teams. And the upside of acquiring a legit top-nine forward, arguably the last one on the market, would seem worth the opportunity cost for a team trying to reach the postseason.

Jagr isn’t done yet. Somebody should sign him sooner than later.