#I feel weird getting so anxious about it but also. I was like 12 when I was first into sonic in the 2010s

[quietlyblooms]

we’re feeling off, folks, so it’s gonna be another quiet night from me. i’m not built to socialize this much in such a short span of time 😔

[carnation-damnation]

I have been really enjoying making sonic art lately. I finally feel like I have a grasp on how I want them to look and I don't feel as shameful about how I want to portray them either

[exopelagic]

A list of things I’m frustrated by:

[screaminglygay]

KINKTOBER day 1

pairing: siren! natasha x reader

summary: working on a boat sounds like a fun, but what if there is a cold weather?

word count: 3.6k

warnings: heavy manipulation!!!, mind control, toxic dynamic, humping a tail, dirty talk, just smut!, badly written description of what sailors do

an: so the time is here!!!! I’m exited and also anxious, aghh. I’d appreciate any of your feedback and don’t be scared to send me some thoughts! If there are any typos, i sincerely apologize, just let me know and I’ll fix it!

an2: there is a part that was inspired by hp and goblet of fire, i’ve changed most of it, but left some parts, since natasha is siren. felt like it was fitting. and it’s exactly how I imagine natasha’s style of singing.

(italics = your thoughts)

!MDNI!

Enjoy this spooky time and be safe!

Working on a coast was an incredible experience and for such a long time you were happy to have the oppurtunity to see new things, but most imporantily feel new things.

This spontanious work trip helped you with your mental health more than your therapist in years. You didn´t even mind working alone somedays, since your coworkers had some days shift off. You enjoyed those quiet days, where you didn´t even overthink, you just let your thoughts peacefully be and surprisingly they did the same thing to you.

Seeing things, the old things but with a different font was something you never get tired of. Everything was bigger and prettier. Colorfull sunrises and sunsets, bigger and shiny stars. But when the warm and fuzzy wind was changed by heavy rains and scary thunderstorms, you were really changing your opinion and wishing you were back in your comfy king sized bed, watching another stupid show on Netflix. Not everything was so colorful all the time.

Especially when the weather got cold and nothing was so warm and fuzzy as in the summer. When the first storm came you thought that you can hadle it, alone. You did, but barerly.

But from todays morning, you knew something big is coming and nothing could prepare you for that. You woke up and checked your phone, like you did every signle day and noticed you have one unread message, saying that your coworker, Tobias, can´t make it, because he got sea sick, from all the sailing he did this week. Which is little weird since you´re positive he´s been sailing the day he was born. But even the best of us can get sick sometimes. So youre all alone. You let out a big sigh. You werent mad, no. You were just little scared of the storm that might and most probably will come today.

When you finally got up and looked from the window you could feel that the wind was freezingly cold. Goosebumps begin to form on your arms and neck. The cold feeling seeps through your skin deeper, like a stealthy intruder, sending shivers down your spine. It's an icy touch that grips your body, making your muscles tense.

It´s gonna be a long day.

As always you packed your stuff, fuzzy socks, warm coat, another shirt just in case youll get wet. Lastly you took some snacks and a big amout of soup, hoping your heater wont let you down. And last but not least a lots of tea. As your boss always says "Tea and rum is better than a warm coat." Well you dont have the rum, but the tea will do, at least that´s what youre saying to yourself.

When you got to work, you checked all the papers from yesterday, made sure to know what your tasks will be today. And of course you had to check if the boat is in a good shape to sail the next day. It´s a lot of work, but at least you have a job to do. Not like a week ago, where you just sat and watch as the waves hit the rocks for 12 hours. You noticed that even waves have a simple patterns, its was so hypnotic to watch it hit the big rocks again and again and again.

You slowly checked all the papers to not miss anything important and undeerscore everything that you need to do today. You checked your watch and made a mental note to put the kettle on soon.

Youre working here for about a 5 months now and you still havent figured out your routine. Even though most of the times youre still doing the same job all over again, checking something, writing what needs to be fixed, checking the load, or just watching over the boat, you still do everything at the same time. So sometimes (read it as most of the times) you just forget to do the simple things as taking care of your basic needs. When you and Tobias have shift together, you two kinda take care of eachtoher, but when he´s not there it´s just so easy to forget about it.

But today you did quite good job, after checking the lower deck you came back up to unlock the kitchen and put the kettle on. When youre water was getting ready for your favorite and only tea you had here, you wrote some documentary about the first ship load you had to check. Everything was correct and you were happy that you didn´t have to unpack it and count it manually. Your first break of the day fly past very quickly as you finished your tea, that didnt make you feel warm at all. You put the cup in the sink and went on another round of checking the boat lower deck.

As you stood up something red caught your eye in the distance, you took a few steps closer to the window, hoping you would see better at what it is. It was weird seeing something so bright in the distance, where only the gray waves were moving. But to your disappointment, you didnt got the answer, it was probably some coral from the shore. You shake your head slightly and moved to another task.

When you came up you noticed that it was already dark outside, shockingly it was the same tempetrure as throghtout the day. Which was a positive thing.

How long have I been downstairs? What time is it? I didn´t have lunch... again.

As many thoughts at the same time speed through your mind, you heard something under the boat. You just closed your eyes, taking few deep breaths to calm your nerves. You put down the paperwork and the pen you were holding. Making your way to the kitchen, youve notice that you didn´t even drank much water. Cursing yourself, you drink a half of the bottle right away. The fresh water finally hitting your needs. Refreshing shockwave going through your body. Every cell awaken and all of your sences light up. Already feeling better, taking a moment to make soup and overall just refresh yourself. As you´re finishing your food, you hear it again.

Bang.

This time is was way louder, so you took all of your courage to go out and look what it was. Sometimes you were tought, or maybe you just act before you think things through. You were terrified of the dark and most importantly what´s in it, but this time something made you go out. You were surprised by yourself, but you didnt question it, much.

When you got out you checked the boat, slowly analyzing if something is wrong.

Was it an animal? A fallen brench into the water?

"Hello?" You immidietly cursed yourself. "Im an idiot." You mumble as you walk around. "There is no more pathetic and stupid way to die then just say hello to the dark." You mumble under your breath.

After a while walking around the boat a big strike apeared on the sky. And after few second of a complete silence there was a big thunder coming, that made you run back inside. There it was the big storm you were so terrified of. It was way worse than the last time and you were hoping to survive it.

That´s a little bit dramatic, but your heart was pounding fast, your hands started to shake and even in this cold you very still incredibly sweaty, like if you just ran a marathon in the desert. After few hours of tinkinkng you´ll die, the storm suddently stopped, leaving you all tired and scared at the same time. Until youve heard another sound, it wasnt another bang, it was more like a humming.

Maybe someone from the sailors is here? But they are all men. Maybe someones wife? Again, your thoughts are running milions miles per hour.

The humming sounds so warm, like the old days, back in summer, where everything was colorfull, fuzzy and it felt generally so good in your ears. You stood up and without second guessing you step outside. There was complete silence, not a single person outside, The sun slowly coming out, trying to fight those stromy clouds that were showing the only evidence of heavy storm.

As soon as your hand laid back on the door handle a beautfiul voice start to sing a melodic song. You didnt understand it, it was some language you never heard, but you liked it, your brain might not understand the words, but your body understood the melody. And suddenly you didn´t felt cold, it was the other way around actually. Your cheeks were on fire, like you were running a fever, but you didn´t feel bad, no, you actually felt the best you ever did.

When you turn around you saw her. Unbeiebly beaitiful, goddess looking woman. Her hair was red, not like an apple red, more like a bright fire that is keeping you warm at the coldest nights. Each strand seemed to catch the sunlight that was finally going up, setting her aglow with a vibrant, fiery aura. Her green eyes were pierced at you, she was looking at you, waiting for your move. But you just stood there and watched her, your breathing started to speed up. You tried to remeber evertything about her, but as soon as your eyes fell lower, you noticed how light her skin looked. It reminded you of a fresh marble that was just ready to be cast in. But what caught your off guard the most, was her tail. You´ve never seen aynthing like that and it was very obvious, because youre face made it very well known. It was mixed feeling between shocked and amazed. The siren's tail was a fluid masterpiece, a shimmering blend of oceanic blues and greens. With each sinuous movement, it created a mesmerizing scene.

"Hey sailor." she smirked, her voice sound way raspier than it did when she sang.

"I- I- I´m not a sailor. This is uh not my uh- boat... I just work here." You stutter out, cursing yourself for seeing the prettiest woman your eyes have ever laid on and you ramble out this sentence.

"You just work here? Oh what a pity, I wanted to ask for some help." The red haired frown, which made you feel sad right away.

"I can help! I just... not my boat." You awkwardly chuckled out.

Her eyes immidietly fell back on you. "Oh really? I don´t want to bother since you´re not the sailor of this boat." Her voice sounded so soft, yet harsh at the same time. It was luring you, by every word she said, you felt different emotion each time. A good emotions.

"I mean I´m on a shift now, so teoretically I am sailor of this boat." You smiled, youre pupils were so big and you felt like you were in euhporia.

She smiled softly. Her smile could make a whole army fall to their knees. You knew it, but most imporatnly she did too. But there was only one person she want to fall on their knees. And that person was you.

"Okay then, sailor..." her raspy voice now coming lower to your body, slowly eletrucing you. "I just need a little favor, my tail..." She let out a little whine, completly changing her body language. She didn´t seem so confident, she looked so fragile and sad. And you have to help her.

"Are you hurt?!" You imidditetly walk closer to her. Crouching so youre on the same eye level. She place her hand on yours, looking at you and finally, she bonded. Her touch made you feel cold and warm at the same time. Butterflies flying everywhere not just in your stomach and her eyes. Her captivating eyes has already read you like a whole book. Her eyes were an entrancing shade of emerald, deep and captivating like the hidden depths of the sea. They held an enigmatic allure, with a hint of mischief and ancient wisdom that drew you in, ensnaring your heart and mind.

"A little-" she sigh and looks away. "-maybe you can help me get back, to safety, where no one can find us." The soft spoken woman look at you, making eye contact again, while her hand is still on yours.

"Us?" Your words caught her off guard.

"Yes, us, darling. You know, not all people are kind as you are. Youre the only one who ever made me feel safe. Youre the only one i can trust now. Youre-" she blinks a few times, leaning closer to you. "-youre my saviour. Will you help me, darling? Help us to get to safety? The world is too cruel and we need to decide right now."

This was the task you were waiting your whole life on here. Make sure she is safe, there is nothing else that is more important than this. You nod, still making eye contact.

"I will. Of course!" You nod again, taking this job very seriously, as you felt like you were born for this.

"Say it. Say what you were made to do, darling." Raspiness was now the only thing that you´ve heard. You were less and less interested in your work and your tasks before her.

Before her there was... was there anything before her?

"I will help you. I will help us get to safety." Your eyes scanned her face, hoping these words will help her.

"Thank you my darling, will you follow me? Please?" her eyes were watery, she´s holing back tears and that tears your heart.

"Yes." You say without hasitation.

"Yes, what, darling?" She asks.

"Yes, uh-" suddnely you feel this sensation, your head feels fuzzy and your view is more and more bright. Your words are caugh up in your throat, when you looked at her lips you can see them moving, but your ears cant catch the word she´s saying. But your mind does.

"Yes, mistress." you whisper back as it´s the only thing you can say.

As you closed your eyes for a second, the world around you seemed to blur and fade. The warm feeling never leaving your side.

Time itself shifted, as if you were wrapped in a comforting cocoon. The soft, rhythmic sound of waves crashing against the shore became a lullaby and there is it was again. Her singing. Her soft and heart warming singing.

When you finally stirred, it was as if you had awakened in a dream. The dimly lit cave, adorned with iridescent seashells and many other decorations, that suited the cave. And there, before you, was a siren of unparalleled beauty, her emerald eyes reflecting the cave's soft luminescence.

"Hello, darling..." she slowly moved towards you "...slept well?" her smirk grew wider as she saw your hand immidietly going between your legs as there was some unbeliveble aching you were feeling.

"I- uh huh" You only nod, not realizing that your hand is going lower on your body.

The siren´s hand falls on your cheeks as she tuck some of your falen hair behind your ear. Not even for a second breaking eye contact. Without second thinking you grab her hands and put them on your body, that was covered in your wet clothes.

"P-please!" Was all you could have said. She just chuckled and squeezed your breasts.

"You don´t even know my name and you want me to fuck you? Aww darling, youre way easier than I thought you would be. So so so easy" She tsked and suddenly, you didn´t felt her hands on you anymore.

"I don´t care!" You yelp as the aching was even worse now. Is this what drugs do to you? You just want more and more and still it isn´t enough.

The siren looked at you shocked, her hand was placed on her chest as a sign of being offended. "Darling, you don´t care what my name is? That´s rude." She pout. Tears immidietly filling her eyes. "And I thought you don´t want to hurt me, yet you´re just like the others." She looked away.

"Wait- No, no, no! Im not like the others, Im sorry! Im so sorry! I want to know your name. Oh gosh I didn´t want to be so selfish!" You grabbed her arm. "Please, tell me your name, I bet it´s beautiful just like you!"

"You think Im beautiful?" Her green eyes falling back on you.

"Very." You nod.

"It´s Natasha." She wiped her tears.

"Okay, Natasha. Im sorry for being selfish, It was really mean, let me make it up to you, please." You felt so sad, like every joy just left your body forever. Like you didn´t even experience a single happy thing in your life. Like everything was just dark.

"You´re right, you did act very selfish and mean. And you should definetly make it up to me, (Y/N)." Natasha seems so small right now, like a small fish in a big dark ocean.

"Anything you want, just please- forgive me." You basically whined at this point.

"(Y/N), you truly hurted my feelings, I don´t know. How can i trust you not hurting me again?" The horrible feeling of guilt is forming not just in your stomach, but also in your head now.

Natasha looked really hurt by your words. And you felt like if you´ll lose her, you´ll lose yourself, forever.

You squeezed her hand. "I will never. How can i prove it to you? Please..." You knew this will work. "... mistress, let me prove to you, I won´t ever hurt you and Im truly so sorry!"

Her eyes shifted, her pretty green color in her eyes just dissapeared and turned into black.

"Take of your clothes. They´re wet, you will get sick. Aren´t you cold, darling?" At her words you did feel the cold breeze. Actually you were freezing.

"Y-y-yeah, Im freezing." You said while your teeth chattered.

"Oh, darling! Clothes off, righ now!" She ordered and you did as she told. "I don´t want you catch a cold!" Her voice was caring, so caring you didn´t think you deserve it, after how mean you´ve been acting towards her.

As you stand there, completly naked the shivering didn´t end, it got even worse and your nipples could cut dimonds now.

"You´re still cold? Oh, darling, come here." She pointed at her tail. "My tail is warm, it´s gonna keep you from freezing to death." Her smile could cure everything negative thing in this world.

Without second guessing you almost jumped at her, your hand wanting to touch her tail, but you stopped yourself. "May I? Mistress?" Natasha just nodded. You hand immidietly touching her tail.

It´s so soft, oh my god and warm! So so warm.

"Sit on it, darling." She take your hands and guided you on her tail. "It will make you warm, so warm, it will end the shivers, I promise."

So you did. You sat on her tail and if you felt tingles everywhere before, then now there are tignles even in places you don´t have. Running your fingers along its sleek, supple surface was like caressing a piece of heaven. Its velvety texture and gentle, soothing warmth enveloped you in a sense of euphoria, as if you were touching a living embodiment of comfort and enchantment, a sensation that melted away all of your less important other thoughts.

Natasha noticed you´re still shivering and put her hand on your hips. "Darling, if you start to move you will stop shivering. Fast friction makes heat and you really need to be in heat now, darling." Natasha was right, her words were exactly what you needed, but you just didn´t know how.

How can I do this? I don´t want to hurt her tail.

"You won´t hurt my tail, darling. I will guide you, okay?" Her strong hands squeezed your hips and slowly made you move back and forth. "Just like that, you´re doing so good."

After a little while you start to get the hang of it and you felt that amazing friction again. Everything started to feel so good, all the lost joy, all the good feeling are back. All the happy thoughts.

"Oh my god- it´s really working!" You screamed.

"I know, darling. I can feel you on my tail. Keep going." She wispered in your ear.

You did. Oh boy, you did. You moved your hips back and forth faster and faster. And at the same time it got easier, maybe it´s the tail, or maybe it´s the fact that your juices were all over Natasha.

You definetly felt the heat.

Few moments before you came and let all of your juices on the siren´s tail, she started to sing again. In the same language you couldn´t understand before, but you can now. It´s like you know the song all your life.

"Come seek us where our voices sound,

We cannot sing alone in the dark,

And while you're searching, ponder this:

We're gonna take what you'll sorely miss,

But not for long you gonna think,

Let us help, and you won´t sink.

Your life might have been so perfect,

Too late, it's gone, it won't come back."

After the red head stopped singing, she looked at you and finally closed the gap between you two. Your first kiss was a moment of exquisite tenderness, a meeting of souls that overlap the boundaries of land and sea. As their lips brushed together, it was a gentle, captivating exchange of warmth and desire. In that soft, lingering kiss, they found a connection that was as deep and boundless as the ocean itself, a love that defied all expectations and left you utterly in her arms.

"I forgive you, darling." Natasha said and you knew, you found your life task. As she holds you close on her tail your eyes fell back into the warm fuzzy feeling, you didn´t mind be in forever.

Hope you enjoyed first day of KINKTOBER!

Thank you for reading!!!

[caeunot]

hii first of all i love your writing and im so glad i came across your fics 🖤 i was wondering if you could maybe write a johnnie x fem reader, enemies to lovers fic? or something along the lines of johnnie and fem reader always bullying each other a bit only to realise they've been crushing on each other the whole time?

johnnie guilbert x reader

enemies to lovers 18+

➷ you hated his guts, everything about him irritated you and made your skin crawl. you are friends with jake and you absolutely love him to bits so you spending time with him normally equals to you having to be around johnnie. these feelings aren't without reason though, your not the type of girl to hate on others very easily.

it happened a few years back, when your own youtube career recently jumpstarted and you started spending time with other similar youtubers near you. this is how you originally met johnnie, even before jake. you were first invited to a party hosted by some popular la youtuber at the time and you obviously took the invite since you knew this would not only help you make more friends in the industry but to also promote yourself!

you were greeting everyone and taking many pictures as the night went on, fully using this opportunity to the best of your ability. as it hit 12 you decided to look around and scope out the last person you want to introduce yourself to before you head home. you saw a short-ish guy with deep red emo hair swooped to the side with harsh makeup around his eyes and you were immediately intriged. you preferred a more grunge look yourself so seeing someone with such familiar fashion made you feel at ease.

"hey im y/n!" you say, introducing yourself. "do I know you?" he says coldly as he turns to see who was speaking to him. "no but everyone will soon the way my channel is going" you say with some sass so you can counter his rudeness. "you have way too much confidence" he says with a smirk. "so I've been told".

"what's your name?" you ask, "my names johnnie, johnnie guilbert". "well nice to meet you johnnie" you say with a smile. "what do you do for a living? if I can ask", " I make youtube videos and I also make some music on the side!" he says. you two talk for a little longer before you check the time seeing its quite past what you had planned. "hey it was great meeting you! I don't want to stay too long so I think I should get going!"

as you say goodbye and walk away you feel him grab you by your wrist, you turn around. "wait don't go yet, your the most interesting person I've spoken to today and I don't want to go home just yet" you bite your lip, "fine, how about I just walk you to your car then". he rolls his eyes, "is that all? anyways I don't even have a car, I came with uber"

"wait why did you take an uber?", you say confused, "do I really have to say". "yes", " okay, I can't drive.. happy?" you scrunch up your face, you don't feel comfortable letting him go home with an uber this time of night. "I don't mind giving you a lift! then you can talk to me during the ride all you want"

you walked him to your car and he got in on the passenger seat, let me just say that convincing him to let you take him home was harder than you imagined, but you could see in his face he appreciated it.

"why are you doing this again?" he asks as you start driving. "because I'm a nice person and I don't trust ubers". he nods, "I like your piercings" he says, observing your face in the dim lighting. "thanks!" you say as you stick out your tongue, showing your snake eyes. "oh shit I've never seen that in person before, it looks great". you blush slightly, "it was pretty painful and it's hard to upkeep but I don't regret it at all".

he brushes his hands through his hair, probably anxious from the small talk. "this might sound weird but, do you have a girlfriend" you ask. "I don't, why?", "it's because I figured that if u did she would be the one driving u home from a party, so I was just curious". "haven't had one in years", he says leaning back. "really? your really hot so I'd imagine girls would be all over you".

he laughs, "maybe in the past but not anymore, my sense of fashion and my lack of confidence kinda makes getting a girlfriend hard" he says, opening up to you effortlessly. "I think emo guys are hot" you turn and look at him.

"what are you implying?" he says, giving a lewd grin. "that if I had the choice to either have sex with you or not have sex with you that I would". you notice him squirm slightly in his seat. "if you mean that, pull over" he says

you do as he says and you climb into the back seat. you crawl into his lap and find yourself grabbing and pulling on anything you can find as you feel his tounge slip deep into your mouth, tasting the alcohol he had ingested that night. you wish you could recall the rest but you were much drunker than you thought you were and ended up slightly blacking out.

the moral of the story is that you gave him your number, and he never came back after that. not a call, not even a single text. you never ever hooked up with guys, this was your first time. and you hate how knowing a guy for just one hour could make you feel such strong feelings towards him, for johnnies case those feelings were a mix of lust and disgust.

back to current times, you ended up meeting jake a year later and that's when you saw johnnie again for the first time since that night. but instead of apologizing or at least being honest he instead found himself ignoring you. this frustrated you the most, you despise a man who cannot own up to his actions, let alone not even acknowledging them. every time you found yourself around him you felt your blood boil and you just wanted to give him a peice of your mind, but you can't.

you can't since it's been 5 months since and neither of you have said anything at all, 5 months of pure pretend. jake noticed your dislike towards his roommate but he didn't want to get involved in any issues that didn't require him, which you appreciated greatly.

after a lot of convincing, jake did eventually get the both of you to film a video together with him. it was one of those food rating videos and the goal was to order one type of food for everyone, jake said that I will do the drinks, johnnie the main and jake the desert. you were dreading this.

and you have been dreading this day for the past month since jake started bringing it up. you couldn't even handle being in the same room as him for a few minutes let alone a whole video.

"let's plan what we will order now so that we don't have to think to hard tomorrow!' jake says as you sat down on the couch next to him and opposite from johnnie. "I already know what I'm making you guys eat", "let it be actual food and not just chicken nuggets please" jake says jokingly. "knowing johnnie he will probably poison mine" you say with a scoff. a few minutes later jake started getting a call from someone and had to leave, aka leaving you alone with johnnie.

"why would you say that?" johnnie said to you the moment jake left the room. "say what?", "say that I'd poison your food, it's rude". you laugh from the pure nerve this guy has. "don't fuck with me, don't act like your the victim here". "says the one starting unnecessary shit". " I'm not starting anything, you started and I'm just continuing". the tension in the room was cut as jake walks back in, "sorry guys that was my studio, anyways where were we!" he looks between the two of you and johnnie gets up and leaves, saying he's not feeling well.

that evening you sat down in the passengers seat of jakes car, you breathe in and out meditatively to calm your nerves. "okay everything is orderd we just gotta wait for the food!" jake says climbing into his seat of the car and started prepping for the recording. you fiddle with your rings and move around your hair for a solid 12 minutes before johnnie got in the car with the food in hand.

the video started off fine, you didn't laugh at his jokes and he didn't laugh at yours. you two didn't even make eye contact, that was untill it was jakes turn. "okay guys for johnnie I got him a really massive chocolate chip cookie because hes a basic bitch and I got y/n a gummy lunchable because she's never had one" you laugh since the idea for having gummy pizza seems so obscure. "jake that's so wrong you know I love lunchables". jake turns to you as if implying you should give him a piece.

"I rather not" you say softly, but not soft enough to where johnnie couldn't hear you, "it's literally just a lunchable what's your problem". " I never said I had a problem, it's not my fault you don't have manners and can't ask for something yourself". "I literally just said that I love lunchables, stop starting shit were recording".

jake turns around to face the both of you, "what the fuck guys, what's your problem", you look at johnnie, "ask him". " you guys are acting like fucking toddlers either tell me what happened or just sort your issues alone, like now" he says as he gets out of his car, "there's no point in keeping on filming so let's just go inside okay".

you go inside and sit down and you feel as if your in the third grade getting detention from your angry teacher Mr Webber. "so.. what happend, you two have been like this since the moment you met and I don't understand, y/n, johnnie,I love you both so much but I can't handle this bad energy", you stay quiet and so does johnnie. "okay if you guys are going to be like that I'm going to my room, just please sort something out because I promised our fans we were doing a collab". he says walking off into his room.

you bite the inside of your mouth and look around, not able to handle the awkward silence. "johnnie I just have to ask you one question, why?" he makes an upset face, "what do you mean 'why'", " you know what I mean" you say in almost a defeated tone. you stand up and walk towards where he is sitting, "I mean why didn't you text me back, why did you ghost me" he looks away. "don't be a coward please, im tired of our crap". upon hearing this he stands up.

"fine okay, I'm a fucking coward. I was too scared to message you back because I was drunk and you were drunk and I knew for a fact that nothing would happen between us because I mean look at you, your gorgeous and I know if we somehow started something in the future I would feel so guilty that we hooked up the night we met, I've only ever had sex with two people y/n!! that's you and my ex and I feel guilty for it every day because sleeping with random people is not me!!"

your feel as if your in shock, almost frozen in place. you brush your hand through your hair about to say something but nothing comes out. "I never met to hurt you at all I just, I'm stupid I'm fucking st-" you cut him off by putting your lips on his, he doesn't push you away and instead takes his arms and grabs onto you tight while pushing you against the nearest wall. "I sware I'm not usually like this" he says, breaking the kiss,"you just.. do something to me"

'fuck' you mutter as you grab onto his hair as the kiss becomes more and more passionate. he takes his hands off the wall and starts to remove your baby tee, exposing your lacy black bra. as he did this you hear something behind you and look to see jake, his mouth dropped right to the floor. johnnie immediately stood in front of you to cover your exposed skin and when he heard jake walk away he helped you put your shirt back on. "I'm so sorry" he says with the most guilty look on his face.

"shh don't be it's okay!" you say holding his face and giving him a soft kiss, "I definitely overreacted to everything because of how much I liked you, it hurt me so much that someone I felt so strongly about could shove me aside like you did". " I haven't gone a day without regretting what I did" he says. you felt so relieved that this issue between you two was finally sorted out.

"what now?" you ask, indentifying the elephant in the room. "its my turn to say sorry I shouldnt have kissed you like that it was impulsive and careless of me".

"y/n". " yes?", you ask completely confused. "I've never met someone I've wanted more then you in this moment, I want you and all of you" he says walking towards you and holding your waist, "let's not torture each other as we have, please" you smile "I'm all yours".

❣

[zerobaseonefics]

ZB1 : falling asleep on them ㅡ hyung line version

ZB1!hyung line x gn!reader

genre : fluff

warnings : maybe some suggestives sentences for hao's part??? one bed trope for hao's. mention of quitting school to become a stripper in hanbin's... yeah that's pretty much it

note : I'VE NEVER WROTE FOR JIWOONG BEFORE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT????? i'm anxious i hope i did it right 🫡 if you guys liked the hyung line version i might do it for the rest of the members... peace 👅‼️

• Jiwoong

"and... cut! good job guys, we're all getting a break. come back in 15 minutes!"

after the announcement of the producer, it seems like everyone on the set started breathing again. it was your debut movie. you used to act before, mostly in web dramas, but this was your first role ever in such a big project and the movie was already very anticipated by the public. your co-star, jiwoong, was used to those long days of just filming, but you were absolutly not. you, and the whole production crew as well, was now filming for 12 hours, and acting for so long was actually more tiring than it seems to be.

the scene you were filming before the break was outdoors, at night, in a park that the production crew privatized so no one could disturb the filming. the night temperature started to bite the tip of your fingers and made you shiver. you were sitting alone on a bench when jiwoong came to you with a smile. he went to take your coat from the staff, and also thought of taking a blanket for you. without a word, he helped you wearing your coat before wrapping the blanket around your shoulders. you smiled back to him.

you guys were working together on this movie for months now, and you were confortable enough to let your head rest on his shoulder when he sat next to you.

"thank you for the blanket" you mumbled.

"you looked like you were about to turn into an ice cube'' he joked. he couldn't help but keep a smile on his face when you softly laughed to his remark, a sweet melody to his ears. little by little, a calming silence fell over the two of you. jiwoong lips were still curved upwards to the feeling of you curled up to him, and he couldn't help but look to your face after a few minutes. your eyes were closed and your breathing was calmer than it was previously. when he realized you fell asleep on him, a pinkish color appeared on his cheeks, and no one could tell if it was because of you or because of the cold.

gently, his hand went to take yours as he tried not to wake you up.

this moment, caught on camera by the staff who was filming the behind the scene, quickly made you and jiwoong the talk of town and brought more hype to the upcoming movie...

• Zhang hao

"well, i'm gonna have to warn you, i naturally cuddle things when i sleep. if it ever happens, don't think i have a crush on you or anything. okay? it's my nature, it's just how i work, so please-"

"oh my god, hao could you please just shut up!"

you shoved your face under your pillow to let him know he was pissing you off. hao sighed.

"i'm simply warning you..."

"okay and i'm also warning you, if you ever cuddle me i'll probably strangle you. that's my nature, it's just how i work." you said, using his own words.

"that's some weird and agressive way of working but okay..."

for as long as you could remember, hao and you were rivals. don't ask me in what field you guys are competing, because at this point, y'all are turning everything into a competition. and this is literally how you ended up that night, in the same bed.

you both took music as your major in college, and a school trip was organized for the best students. when you arrived to the hotel, the teachers simply gave you the keys to the room that were reserved for you, and let you choose the ones you wanted. they warned you that there was one that have to be shared, but zhang hao and you were not listening at this point. why? you wanted the third room, but he wanted it as well. it started a fight between you two, while the rest of your classmates simply chose the room they wanted. that's how you ended up having to share a room with him. with one bed.

now, you were both lying down on the back, looking at the ceiling. an awkward silence settled in the room, as you were too tensed to sleep properly. zhang hao, on the other half, didn't care. he decided to lay comfortably to sleep.

"are you not going to sleep?" he asked.

"i don't trust you enough to close my eyes."

"don't worry about it, i'm not doing anything without your consent."

"..."

"n-not that i'm willing to do anything with you even if you wanted to! i don't have a crush on you or anything..."

"you probably said you don't have a crush on me five times this evening, that's suspicious.."

"shut up."

surpringly, you listened to him and didn't fight back. the silence came back again, and zhang hao's were closed as he started to doze off. surprisingly, you called his name, and he could sense that you hesitated before doing so. he simply hummed, letting you know he was listening to you.

"don't you think the room is cold?" you said in a small voice he was not used to hear.

"do you?" he asked back, thinking the temperature of the room was good enough.

"yeah..."

he looked at you, inspecting your face despite the darkness in the room. you didn't seem to be lying. hao frowned his eyebrows.

"are you really cold?"

"why would i lie about being cold?? look" you put your hand on his neck, making him jump back.

"take your icy hands off me??" he said, offended.

"see?? i'm cold!"

an idea crossed zhang hao's mind. he coughed to clear his voice, not looking at you.

"well, people usually say my body is warm..."

"and...?"

"if you're really cold, i can let you use my body... okay, no, this sounds really weird, what i wanted to say was-"

"i get it! don't freak out like this."

once again, zhang hao sighed. but this time, you did it with him. with hesitation, you went closer to him. your arm held his waist as he was laying on his back, and you rested your head on his chest. he didn't even realize that he stopped breathing when your body became so close to his own. zhang hao doesn't have a crush on you. but there was no other way he could explain the feeling he felt in his chest when you snuggled up to him after you fell asleep on his chest.

• Hanbin

"maybe i should quit school and become a stripper..."

"i wouldn't shame you for that to be honest."

your best friend, hanbin, put down your order on the table. you immediatly took a sip from the drink, a sigh of relief leaving your lips.

"if it wasn't for your coffee, i think i would've die studying."

"i'm glad if it helps."

hanbin looked around. today, his mother's cafe was emptier than usual. you were the only customer here, actually. he took the occasion and sat next to you.

"maybe you should take a break now? you've been working on this for hours now. drink this at least, and go back to studying after."

"you're right. plus, it sucks that you're here but i don't get to hang out with you."

hanbin shyly smiled at the last sentence. you were totally oblivious to the heart eyes your friend was sending to you, focused on drinking your coffee. stray strands of hair were falling before your eyes and hanbin couldn't help but find you cute.

"should i tie your hair for you?"

"i wish, but i didn't take hair ties with me..."

hanbin simply showed you his wrist, with a hair tie around. he always carry one with him in case you needed it. "you're amazing", you said as you turned back to let him tie your hair. gently, he made sure to tie every strands that were disturbing you, and made sure he could see your pretty face properly.

"all done" he grinned. you locked your arm with him, snuggling closer to him and letting your head on his shoulder.

"thank you. for everything."

"i know you would have done the same for me", hanbin mumbled, a bit shy despite being used to this kind of the skinship. with his free hand, he took yours to his lips, placing a soft kiss on it. "is it okay if we stay like this for a bit? since there is no customers..."

"hm, don't worry. i'm focused on you anyways."

you whispered another 'thank you' to your friend, not aware of the racing heart you caused inside his chest. the sight of you slowly falling asleep on you was so endearing, that when a new customer finally came in, he simply apologized to them and said they were closed.

[robinsegghead]

Danny's Daycare Part 12

[Master List]

Cookies, books, wallet, keys. Cookies, books, wallet, keys. Cookies, books- what was he forgetting? He felt like he was forgetting something important. It was an aggravating feeling considering there definitely wasn’t something else he was supposed to be bringing. Hell- the cookies were an above and beyond kind of thing- even if they didn’t feel like it.

Was there any such thing as above and beyond for the man who’d killed his murderer? Not just killed, nonchalantly- accidentally killed the clown. It was such an anti-climatic death there was no way the Joker wasn’t rolling over in his grave. Cookies were the least Jason could do to thank Danny.

Of course, Hood was also bringing him and his ... kids- food multiple times a week and checking in on Miguel and Santiago when they stayed in their own apartment. He’d made sure to drop by every night after Miguel’s kidnapping and on the third night (the night after learning about Danny’s death which- what the fuck?) after the incident, the boys had gone back to their own place. He’d stopped on their fire escape just to make sure they were fine and had ended up staying and talking with Miguel for a while.

The kid was great; he didn’t have any fear of the Red Hood- most street kids in Crime Alley didn’t- and they’d had a nice long chat. He hadn’t met Santiago yet so he wasn’t sure what to expect, but if he was anything like his brother, Jason was sure they’d get along great.

Still, he felt…. Underdressed? It was a strange sentiment but something was off, something was missing. Irritated by the anxious feeling clawing inside his stomach, Jason pushed away the thoughts and focused instead on something else- anything else.

Arriving at the apartment building he’d been to many times at this point (usually when Danny was at work), Jason parked his bike and headed up. He knew exactly where he was going but it was strange to go there from inside the building instead of through the windows and fire escapes. He knocked on the door he knew was Danny’s, and waited.

There was a loud noise inside (some kind of arguing?) before the door was flung open by a woman who looked exactly like Danny. 

“Dani!” Danny shouted and- okay- that was a weird sentence.

“So you’re Jason?” The girl- Dani..?- said accusatorily.

Jason didn’t know how to respond and instead offered up the cookies. “Yes..?” Okay seriously Todd, when did you start acting like such a coward? Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Yeah, I’m Jason, and you are?”

“I’m Dani- Danny’s younger sister and-”

“You’re both named Danny?”

Danny dug his fingers into his eyes. “Dani, can you please let him in?”

“Oh. Yeah.” She stepped aside and Jason stepped into the familiarly barren apartment. It wasn’t that Danny had no decorations, just… very few. A few pictures of his friends, a plant with a note next to it saying ‘do NOT kill this one Danny!’, and some random Nasa and space themed memorabilia. Actually most of that seemed new.

“Miguel! Santi! Jason’s here!” Danny called into the apartment. “They’re around here somewhere… You want anything to drink?” He took the cookies from Jason with a head dip and the feeling of Grateful-Nice-Happy washed over him which Jason did not know how to interpret.

Jason brushed it off. “Tea?”

Danny nodded and left to make the tea while Dani got comfortable at the coffee table in the living room. He chose to join her, placing the books he’d brought onto the table. “So Dani, your parents crazy or do they just really like the name Danny?”

She looked at him sharply as he started but softened by the end as if he’d almost offended her. “Ah- no, well yes- he’s Daniel, I’m Danielle, but neither of us like our full names-”

“That’s because the people who call us by our full names are all trying to kill us!” Danny shouted jokingly. Dani nodded sagely- wait- he was joking right?

“So we thought it’d be funny to both go by Danny. I’m Dani-with-an-i and he’s Danny-with-a-y.” She finished, going back to whatever she had been working on before, sticking out her tongue and squinting while writing something down.

“The venn diagram of people who call us by our full names and people who are trying to kill us is a circle, Dani.” Danny said pointedly, caming back into the room with a tray and placing it on the opposite end of the coffee table. That was a joke, right? (Knowing what he knew as Hood, he didn’t actually believe it was.) “Right, I’ve brought cream, sugar, and I didn’t know what tea you liked so I just made black but I have others if you don’t like it.”

“Black tea’s good.” Jason confirmed, adding a bit of sugar and milk to his cup and stirring.

“Sorry we’re late!” The front door opened. Jason thought they were in the apartment? “Someone didn’t wanna come.” 

Looking up, Jason watched as Miguel grumpily kicked off his shoes, dropped his jacket on the nearest chair, and headed to the kitchen, not even offering the living room so much as a hello. Another boy- who looked so much like Miguel but younger and with brighter eyes- hopped into the room and smiled at Danny. 

“No worries, Santi, this is Jason. He’s going to be tutoring you guys in English. Jason, this is Santiago.” Danny gestured between the two.

The boy examined Jason closely, clearly sizing him up, before untensing his shoulders and moving into the living space. “Hi.” He offered somewhat shyly.

Well that was fair, Jason would have been much ruder when he was Santiago’s age. “Hey kid, how’s it going?”

“Better before now.” Miguel grumbled, dragging himself into the room and settling into the armchair furthest from Jason.

Yikes, what crawled up his ass and died?

Looking towards the ceiling, exasperated, Danny sat on the couch- a central location between everyone else and Miguel. Okay. Well. That was probably his cue to start talking. Shit- what had he gotten himself into? He didn’t know how to teach! Even if he’d helped his siblings (not that any of them would admit to that- himself included) and been good at English in high school that didn’t mean he’d be a good teacher!

“Well, before we get into it, I wanted to see what you boys were comfortable doing. I’ve got these,” He rifled through the books he’d brought and pulled out two papers. “They’re writing prompts. After reading the excerpt at the top you write a standard essay and I’ll look over them afterwards to get a better idea of what you guys need help with. Sound good?”

Santiago eyed him warily but nodded slowly. Miguel gave him a blank stare until Danny sighed quietly, then the older boys face cringed slightly before blanking again.

Jason decided to ignore it and hand the boys their papers. “Take all the time you need but remember, I’m just trying to get a feel for where you’re at, it in no way has to be perfect.”

The boys worked for a while, each having moments of frustration. At one point Santiago stood up and went to the kitchen where he- Jason thought- paced for a few minutes before he came back, calmer, and finished the paper. Miguel kept squinting at the page, rereading lines, growing more and more upset until he finally gave back the paper and speed walked out of the apartment.

Sharing a look with Danny, Jason wondered if that was normal. Was he squinting because he didn’t understand the wording? Or maybe he had poor eyesight? Jason continued to contemplate what it could have been about while Danny followed after the older boy.

“Don’t worry about him.” Santiago said quietly, not looking up from the other school work he’d been doing while waiting for Miguel to finish his essay. “He gets overwhelmed. Thinks ‘e’s stupid er somethin’.”

Ah. Well. Jason understood that sentiment. He’d loved school, as a kid who’d never had the opportunity to go and didn’t think he ever would, going to school (especially college) had been Jason’s dream. That didn’t mean he thought he was smart enough for it. Alfred (and even Bruce) had been privy to some very embarrassing meltdowns about how stupid Jason thought he was.

(Was, past tense, because Jason certainly didn’t think that now. Even if Timbers constantly figured things out that Jason couldn’t possibly hope to figure out on his own. Even if Damian had a larger vocabulary and better grades than he’d had at the same age. Even if Duke had just graduated as valedictorian with honors while maintaining his daylight vigilante lifestyle. Even if every single member of his family was ten times smarter than he was- he was still smart. Yeah. No childhood insecurities had carried into adulthood here- no sir.)

“Well, I’m sure that’s not true. He just thinks that cause he’s from the streets. I thought I was stupid too when I lived on the streets.” Jason said nonchalantly, feeling Dani’s eyes on him. “So Santiago, I brought a couple of books- you can choose which one we start with and find something you might enjoy, how’s that sound?”

Miguel never came back. Danny did, with a poorly hidden frustration masked behind optimism. At least it didn’t seem like Santiago was able to pick up on Danny’s jitteriness or frustration. After the essay and picking a book to read (He’d chosen The Giver) Jason had given him a workbook and instructed him on how to correct the sentences in the module. Some were missing commas, some were missing capitalization, and so on and so forth.

Dani had long since abandoned what she’d been working on so Jason took a look. What? He was curious. She was getting her GED- something he’d considered on and off for years- and he just wanted to know what went into it. So he was curious, sue him.

Someone cleared their throat causing Jason to jump and look around quickly. Danny was jerking his head towards the kitchen and with a glance at Santiago, who’d apparently fallen asleep with his head on the table. Stealthily, Jason followed the man into the kitchen and checked the time on his way. Huh, he’d been here for almost two hours at this point- longer than he’d thought.

“Sorry about all that.” Danny spoke, quietly. “You want anything to eat? Drink? You’ve been here a while.”

Jason shrugged, feigning indifference. “I wouldn’t say no to some more tea.”

Danny nodded, putting the kettle on the stove and getting everything ready. “Your money’s on the table.” He gestured again with his head and Jason tried to ignore the way his hair fell over his eyes every time. “Miguel might take some time before he really participates in your lessons, I appreciate your patience.” 

Leaning against the counter, Jason shrugged. “Not a big deal, really. Reminds me of myself when I was his age- actually, he’s a lot less angry than I was at seventeen.” A lot less murdery too.

“Yeah… Me too.”

Whipping his head around, Jason caught Danny staring into one of the mugs he’d just put a tea bag into. His stare was thoughtful, considering, until he snapped out of it and looked up to meet Jason’s eyes and- oh god. He was staring. He couldn’t help it. He’d never seen blue eyes so dark before. Almost all of his siblings had blue eyes, but they were just… blue. Danny’s eyes were dark blue, reflecting the kitchen lights and sparkling like the night sky and they were perfectly framed by his long dark eyelashes and-

“Jason?”

Forcefully pulling himself out of whatever the fuck kind of trance he’d just voluntarily gone into, Jason tried to focus. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Danny tilted his head. “I… wasn’t.”

“Oh.”

Their attention was pulled away from each other as the kettle started to whistle quietly. Danny turned it off quickly and Jason remembered the boy asleep in the other room. A mug of tea, with a little cream and sugar, was quickly pushed into Jason’s hands and he took it gratefully.

“Well, thank you for tonight. Hopefully next time goes a bit better.” Danny leaned against the opposite counter and lightly blew the steam from the top of his mug.

Jason nodded. “Well maybe whatever put Miguel in a bad mood today won’t affect him next time.”

Letting out a small chuckle, Danny shook his head. “I doubt it. I think it’s mostly me making him do school stuff. He… thinks he’s stupid. He’s not, but he’s not really good at school stuff and he doesn’t have the patience. Again, reminds me of myself in that aspect.”

Thinking for a moment, Jason cut in. “I think you should get him tested for dyslexia.”

Danny froze momentarily before looking up to meet Jason’s eyes again. “Why do you say that?”

“He was squinting at the page. Maybe he just needs glasses, but I noticed a lot of spelling errors when I glanced at his work earlier. It would explain his frustration with school stuff. Santiago has some interesting tics too and seemed…” He got angry at his next thought. “Scared every time I noticed him fidgeting or making noise.”

The man closed his eyes. “Yeah… I… noticed that too.” Jason noted the way the man’s voice cracked. “They don’t like to talk about their parents, from what I’ve gathered their dad was quite abusive.”

Jason and Danny shared a knowing look, each saying they understood. It wasn’t something he’d wanted to see in Danny’s eyes, but the longer Jason looked into them the more he got the idea that Danny’d been through more than he let on with his optimistic ‘I’m helping people for the sake of helping people cause that’s the right thing to do’ attitude.

“Well, things will only get better the longer they’re with someone who takes care of and loves them. Certainly helped me.” He added the last bit quietly. Danny hummed in acknowledgement, but not agreement. The realization that they were the same- that they’d had abusive dads (that they’d died), that they’d been angry teens, it had made Jason wonder if (hope) Danny had had a Bruce.

But his hum had been acknowledgement not understanding and not everyone was as lucky as he’d been. Sure, he and Bruce didn’t see eye to eye a lot of the time, they’d had their fights, he’d said bad things about Bruce (some of which he believed), but he’d had Bruce. Danny clearly hadn’t had anyone to help him out of his shitty home. Someone who believed in him and pushed him to be the best version of himself he could while also taking care of his emotional needs. 

Danny’d been trapped.

“I’m sorry.” Jason said before he could stop himself.

“Hm?” Danny looked up from wherever he’d been staring a moment before. “For what?”

Letting out a puff of air, Jason frowned. “I didn’t mean to… bring up any… bad memories.”

The man’s eyes softened and god how were his eyes so beautiful and deep? “Don’t worry about it.” He waved his hand casually. “It’s all in the past. Besides, I’ve got bigger worries now.”

“I guess you do.” Jason agreed. “But if you- uh, ever want to talk… I’m willing to listen.”

The look Danny gave him made him feel small. Not in a bad way- more like… he felt appreciated and he wasn’t exactly used to that. Like he’d done something worthy of Danny’s gratitude. “I’ll keep you in mind if I ever need to talk, Jason.”

Emboldened by the surge of positive emotions (a rarity for Jason), he smirked. “You can keep me in mind for more than that, doll.”

“Oh, we’re back to this, huh?” But Danny’s voice was only filled with mirth. “What else should I keep you in mind for then, Darling?”

Unwilling to back down this time- he was prepared for Danny’s flirting this time around- Jason looked the man up and down suggestively. “I can think of a few things, but I think I’d better take you to dinner first.”

“Is that right? Just dinner? Or were you thinking about dessert too?” Danny glanced between Jason's eyes and his lips, licking his own.

Fuuuuck this man was going to kill him.

Jason leaned forward. “I’m always thinkin’ about dessert, doll.”

Opening his mouth to respond, Danny’s smirk dropped quickly and Jason wondered if he’d said something wrong. Gearing up to apologize for crossing a line, he was interrupted as Miguel turned the corner and eyed the two of them warily. Studying Danny fleetingly, Jason wondered how he’d known the boy was coming in- even Jason hadn’t heard the door open or his footsteps. Though that might have been more due to the pounding of his heartbeat being the only thing he could hear.

“Miguel.” Danny greeted happily. “You want some tea?”

The boy looked between the two men before scoffing, turning on his heel, and leaving the exact way he’d just come in.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Danny seemed to be calming himself. “Sorry about that.” He started, still visibly calming down. 

“No worries, really. Teenagers gonna be teenagers, right?” Jason shrugged.

“Yeah I just didn’t think I’d have to deal with it at the ripe age of twenty-two- er… three, I guess..”

Jason tilted his head. 

“It always takes me a while to get used to saying a new age. Anyways, I should probably get Santiago to a bed and see what’s going on with Miguel today.” Danny scooped an envelope up from the table and offered it to Jason. “This is what I owe you, I hope tonight hasn’t completely deterred you from tutoring the boys.”

Taking the (ridiculously thick) envelope from Danny, Jason pocketed it. “Nah, it takes a lot more than that to scare me off. I’ll get out of your hair so you can take care of your- uh take care of the kids.”

Danny, who definitely didn’t miss Jason’s slip-up if his doubtful look was anything to go by, led him to the door and waited for Jason to slip his shoes on before opening the door. “I’ll see you Wednesday.” He saluted casually before walking away- why the fuck did he salute?!- and heard the door close behind him.

Taking a moment to relax (why had he been so tense?), Jason let out a deep breath. 

“Yeah, must be exhausted.” Jason whipped around to see Miguel crouching outside his apartment, twirling a pencil. The remark was sarcastic and followed up with an eye roll but Jason couldn’t help being a little happy the kid had willingly spoken to him.

Turning to face the kid fully, Jason tried to push out an aura of calm. “Not really. Why would you think that?”

Miguel rolled his eyes and stood up. “Don’t play stupid.”

“I’m not playin’, kid.” Jason shrugged.

“I’m sure teachin’ a idiot for two hours and then fallin’ all over Danny is exhaustin’.” Miguel spat. “So, you must be exhausted.”

Oh. Okay. So that’s what this was about. “It’s not nice to call your brother an idiot.” 

Affronted, Miguel sputtered. “What- I didn’- I would never- I meant me ya dumbass!” He hissed, seemingly aware that his brother was asleep in the other apartment and Danny had really good hearing which- wait was that another meta thing?

“You weren’t with us for two hours.” Jason shrugged. “Besides, neither of you are idiots.”

“Oh please- I was failin’ school ‘fore I dropped out, no way I’m gettin’ back in no matter how hard Danny tries.” Despite the venom it was said with, Jason could tell there was more sadness than anything else. He knew that feeling.

“Listen, Miguel-”

“Don’ act like we’re friends!” Miguel whisper-shouted across the hall, opening his apartment door. “An’ leave Danny alone- he ain’t interested in someone like you- he already has someone ‘e likes!”

And then he slammed the door, negating all his work to keep quiet, and likely alerting Danny to the argument and waking Santiago if he hadn’t been awake already. Jason hightailed it out of there not wanting to be caught still standing outside Danny’s apartment.

The ride back to his apartment felt longer than it was as he replayed the conversation he’d had with Danny through the lens of ‘him already having someone he likes’. It sure seemed like they’d been on the same page earlier. Jason hadn’t been too cryptic, right? Everyone knew what ‘dessert’ implied while flirting, right? He’d been the one to bring it up!

By the time Jason got back to his place it was almost nine which meant he’d need to start patrol soon so he definitely didn’t have time to be overthinking every expression and word that’d passed between the two of them. (He still did.)

“Jay! You made cookies and didn’t save me any?!” A familiarly obnoxious voice greeted him when he opened the door. 

Groaning inwardly, Jason scowled. “What are you doing here, Dickface?”

“Can’t a big brother visit his baby brother?”

Technically, Dick was in his Nightwing suit, so he probably shouldn’t be connecting them so obviously. But Jason had never given a flying fuck about B’s rules. “Not your baby brother.” Jason muttered, kicking off his boots and placing the stack of books he’d brought to Danny’s (Minus the Giver) onto the kitchen counter. “What do you want?”

Dick frowned. “You’re usually out by now, wanted to see what was up and then I found you made cookies and didn’t save me any!” 

There was no evidence that Jason had made cookies (he cleaned up as he went, thank you very much) but there was a lingering smell and when it came to sweets, Dick could always sniff out anything. “They were for a friend.”

His brother gasped. Great, now he’d done it. “A friend? You have a friend, Jaybird? Who is it? Why’d you make them cookies? Are they more than a friend?”

“Shut up, Big bird.” Jason grumbled, collapsing back onto his couch and closing his eyes.

The gasp his brother let out this time was louder than the last. “They are more than a friend! Little wing! Were you on a date?”

As if. Too bad Danny ‘already likes someone else’. Shaking away his self pity party, Jason reminded himself of Danny’s flirting. The things he said weren’t something you just said to anyone- right? Of course, they hadn’t known each other that long- sure, Red Hood had known Danny for almost two months, but Jason had just met the guy a couple weeks ago. Maybe Danny was just a flirt?

“Jayyy!” Dick whined. “Tell me about your friend!”

Burying his face into the crook of his elbow, Jason tried to ignore the man’s incessant whining. Until he couldn’t. It was just-so annoying. “Dick! Shut up!” Despite being thoroughly annoyed, Jason noted the distinct lack of green in his vision- something that definitely should have turned up by now. “He’s just a friend, the cookies were a thank-you, now get out of my apartment!”

Pushing the man towards his window, Jason begged whatever gods were listening that none of the other bats were listening at the moment. 

“Okayyyyy,” Dick whined. “But next time I come over you need to tell me all about your boy friend that’s not your boyfriend.”

“Get out!” Jason shoved him.

Falling onto the fire escape his brother grunted but finally took the hint, leaping off the landing and grappling away. Finally, some peace. He deserved a moment of peace and quiet, he’d had a long day- hell a long week. He’d wanted to visit Danny as Hood again, get some more answers, but every night had been filled with B&E’s, robberies, muggings, his own drug bust he’d been working on for a while, and a case Cass had asked him to help on.

He’d stopped by to see Miguel only once in the last week and hadn’t gotten the chance to stop by Danny’s before getting pulled away again. It had been a long and frustrating week. Tonight had been especially frustrating in its own unique way.

Gearing up, he pleaded with the same gods from earlier for one quiet night. Just one, just so he could ask Danny what the fuck he meant by- well everything he’d said.

He did not, in fact, get his wish.

Prev. Next

[unknownperson246]

a part two of a monster

ignore the inbox thingie it was just a reminder to myself to make a chapter 2 😭😭

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

A Monster Chapter 2

Words: 1,207

Warnings: *angst* *vampire slash* *pregnancy* *cussing* *wedding day* *public humiliation* *arguing* *grammar*

Don't mind the grammar. Grammarly wanted to be an asshole today.

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

You were sitting in your room that you shared with Slash. You were half asleep and you remembered that It was your wedding day. you grip your bed sheets and cover yourself with your blanket. You and Slash are getting married after 3 months of him turning you into a vampire. You were a groupie for a lot of bands but Slash was selfish and he turned you into a vampire so he could keep you as a pet forever. You hated him for it so much until you decided to move on. He gave you the love you haven't gotten from your mom or your dad or anyone in your life. Everyone used and treated you like you were just a piece of ass but Slash truly did love you so he decided to tie you to him forever. You know it was selfish and you were mad at him but over time you decided that it's not so bad. Slash had invited several people to your guys’s wedding. He invited Axl, Steven, Izzy, and Duff. He also invited Rachel Bolan and Sebastian Bach. You were on edge and very nervous. A few days before your wedding you found out that you were 12 weeks pregnant after you and Slash did it the first time. You wanted to give your child everything you didn't have. You loved it so much already. You did have a lot of questions about if it was going to be half-human or full-vampire because when Slash fucked you you were still human. You didn’t tell Slash because you were nervous about his reaction. You take sips of animal blood that Slash had poured for you in a cup earlier. You had a strong urge to light a joint and smoke it to take the edge off but you didn't want to harm your baby. You continue drinking the blood and Slash walks into the room. You have a weird feeling. You feel sick. You run to the bathroom while gagging. You throw up all the blood you drank into the toilet. Slash follows you. He grimaces at the sight of you puking.

“Hey, what's wrong, are you okay?” He asks you while holding your hair up and rubbing your lower back.

“Yeah I’m fine,” You say in a cold tone. You push Slash away from you and you get up.

“Look I just want some space please just leave right now,” you say to him with watery eyes.

“Is it the wedding jitters?” He asks you.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Slash mutters under his breath. He walks away anxious thinking something is wrong.

You ignore his question and just push him out. You still resent him for turning you into a vampire. You just told yourself it wasn't that bad to get over it but a part of you was angry at Slash. You weren't going to tell Slash until at least after you both got married. You had to get ready. Your wedding was in a couple of hours. You had your white silky dress that was very simply hung in the closet you and Slash shared. You did your makeup and your hair. You put the dress on and walked out of the room. You didn't care about how you looked, you just wanted the day to be over and done with. You looked like you were attending a wedding. You did not look like the bride. You and Slash are supposed to be the center of attention but you don't give one shit.

You sit on your dresser tapping your foot anxiously. You wanted to run away but you knew you couldn't hurt Slash like that. You both know that you couldn't have a day wedding because of the aggressive sunlight that seemed to kill you every time you went outside so you decided to do it at night. The time was finally here and you and Slash held your hands and read his vows to you.

“I will always be here for you whenever you need me. I love you and I love this baby” He says holding your lower belly in front of all the guests. You were shocked and dumbfounded. You were panicking and you wanted to run off. You didn't like being in front of millions of people. You found it nerve-wracking. After a couple of moments you and Slash are officially married and you run inside the mansion that you and Slash owned. Slash follows behind you.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Slash asks you while having a strong grip on your wrist. “How did you know about the baby? I didn't tell you” You say pissed off. “Calm down I just had an idea because you were puking for weeks and you were really moody. Vampires can also sense things like this” Slash tells you holding you by your waist.

“Well, at least that's over now that I don't have to tell you. I’m not going back out there” You say sitting on the couch. “Y/N that's rude,” Slash tells you.

“I don't feel well. I feel like I'm going to die any day now. All I want is my bed and some blood. Also, fuck you for turning me into a monster.” You yell at Slash.

“I can see how this is all affecting you. You are  still pissed off about me turning you into a vampire.” Slash yells back at you.

“Look, I don't want to argue with you on our wedding day. So let's just go back out there and act like we're happy and we can continue yelling at each other later” Slash says calmly while he holds your hands. 

You both get back outside. It was time for slow dancing with your new husband. He held your waist and you put your hands on his shoulders. You both danced slowly to a soft rhythm of music. Everyone's attention was on you after Slash announced that you were pregnant. After a couple of hours, the day you were dreading was finally over. You undid your hair and you removed your makeup. You feel something painful. It was a sharp and uncomfortable pain in your lower abdomen. Your hands clutch your lower belly and scream in pain.

“Slash! It hurts” You cry 2 times. 

He heard your cries from the bathroom and he rushed inside to find you on the ground holding your stomach. “What's wrong?” He asks, concerned.

“I feel a sharp pain. What if the baby is hurt?” You ask Slash while holding on to his shoulder with your other hand while the other one is attached to your belly.

“You sure it's the baby? Shit. I think the baby is draining you of your blood.” Slash suggests an idea.

“Well, we can't go to a human doctor,” Slash says while picking you up from the bathroom floor. “Well, no shit” You utter in pain.

“Here, just lay down on the bed and if the pain gets worse then I know a doctor. He’s human but I trust him.” Slash says while petting your hair.

“Just breathe honey” He whispers in your ear after he lays down next to you.

You take deep breaths in and out.

[strawberryshortcake1495]

I just discovered the beauty that is the Big Dipper AU and here are my personal headcanons ✨

1: Dipper doesn’t have a crush on Wendy, but Robbie thinks he does. So that results in a weird one-sided rivalry. 2: Pacifica is the one who has a crush on Dipper in this AU (she stays 12 alongside Mabel). She desperately tries to hide it but Mabel can read her like a book. Dipper politely rejects her and tries to make her feel better by telling her that she’s like a second little sister to him. It doesn’t work. Mabel teases Pacifica about her being her sister too afterwards which softens the blow. 3: Stan is more hard on Dipper than in canon cause he’s older and is supposed to be a “role model” for Mabel. In Season 1, Dipper tries to please Stan as much as he can to get him off his back (and also due to his own insecurities) but by Season 2, he stops caring and thus stops trying. 4: When Ford comes back, Mabel becomes super anxious about him whisking Dipper away to be his apprentice cause she thinks their parents would agree to it since he’s practically an adult (he’s not). So from DDAMD to DAMVTF, she acts super jumpy and scared of Ford. Mabel volunteers to go get the unicorn hair in TLM because she doesn’t want Dipper to go instead, in fear that he and Ford might grow closer that way. She learns to get over this in Weirdmageddon 2.

[whynotjohnlock]

Hey, would you mind to (maybe if you have time) write some headcanons or a small fic about how the tenth doctor would react if the reader had a panic attack or an anxiety attack? No pressure though, it’s fine if you don’t want to:) thank you in advance and have a great day

*awkwardly walks away, tripping over their own feet*

look at this man. Look at this silly little time lord who wants nothing more than for you to be and happy.

A/N: I have Anxiety around people too anon, no need to walk away. Also, I tryed to just do a reaction, but I may have gone a bit overboard.

Hedcanons:

At first, he's probably oblivious. He's ranting about the slightest differences in coffee on different countries around Earth and Avantiam 5, and the ways they are worse than tea because apparently the time lords invented that too.

When he turns his head toward you during an adventure and he sees you hyperventilating and anxious hands flailing or just any nervous stimms you have he stops and forgets what he was ranting about immediately.

Whenever you're in a panic, he will walk up to you very slowly to show he means you no harm.

Then he man will ask if you're ok to be held. If you've said yes he will give you a nice hug. "Hey, just listen to my heartbeats, ok?"

If not, he understands and regardless of your answer, is most definitely giving his dark oncoming storm eyes to anything or any anyone that made you feel this stressed. "You don't need to do anything other than breath." "Let's get you to the TARDIS."

If it's a person ridiculeing you for any reason, like weirdness, weight, neurodivergence, height, beliefs, or not raseing your eyebrows correctly on a planet that talks only with facial expressions, he is here for you.

Will definitely use his sonic to scan for embarrassing secrets about the person insulting you. "Looks like someone busted their netocrosis pathalovain tube!" (What that means only the doctor knows, but apparently that was enough to make the Alien back off.)

Sonic won't work for whatever reason? He'll just use psychic paper. "How dare you insult the grand leader of the Draconia-Morphious-Nebula! I could have you filed for high treason!"

If all else fails he is not above being all like, "I am a 900+ year old time lord an you will respect my friend or you will never have the ability to disrespect anyone else."

Once you get away from the thing causing you to have a panic attack, and he's stoped whatever everyday universe ending phonominon was happening that day, he's driving the TARDIS to stationary floating in space to ensure that you're alright.

Is a full blown Mother Hen™ and will get you snacks and blankets so you can snuggle up with warmth. "Are you sure you're ok to go to the next adventure already?" "Doctor, we've been here for like three days!" "I know but humans- I don't want to traumatize every companion I have."

The TARDIS is an infinite dimensional spaceship and you have full access to billions of shows or videogames or VR. Literally, all you have to do is be nice, and you have a world of comfort and distractions to get your mind off of any troubles.

If you're alright with it, he's totally down with cuddles to calm any remaining nerves. When you hold each other, he can rest knowing he's not alone and live in a wonderful moment of contentment.

As you fall asleep in his arms or not, he takes a moment to reflect before going back to tinkering on the TARDIS.

You have stood with the doctor facing down Galactic Empires and Gods, and he is never ashamed of you for having panic attacks. He thinks of you, as he does of his previous companions. Humans only have one life of usually no more than 100 years, and yet they are brave, far braver than most time lords who can live millennia with around 12 lives.

He almost feels silly for being afraid of life ending threats just thinking about it. Him, the doctor, afraid.

The Doctor is amazed. He is in awe of you.

[lions-and-men-musical]

Odysseus and Diomedes in Lions & Men

These are two characters that are SO interesting to play around with. (And I know there are many people who love unrequited angsty odydio so here you go.)

Odysseus (“Hijacker”) is an engineer and the main strategist of the army. When we first meet him, he’s a very ‘quirky’ mad scientist character (think Entrapta from She-ra) but as the war goes on, he loses his spritely nature and becomes more bitter (if I make an Odyssey spinoff there will be MUCH more of this).

Diomedes (“Timebomb”) is an explosive specialist in the army. He is not a commander, but is an incredibly gifted fighter, due to being a warrior from a very young age (likely 10-12). He is scarily loyal to his commanders (one of which being Ody) and believes the Army rescued him. He is spontaneous and reckless, becoming a possible liability.

i believe a lot of my Odydio ideas come from @ellilyre, (I’m not completely sure tho)

Diomedes has a weird crush (but not quite? His brains a lil messed up so it’s complicated) on Odysseus that Odysseus does not reciprocate. Diomedes looks up to Ody, and pretty much thinks he’s the greatest person ever.

Odysseus thinks Diomedes is a gifted fighter, but is also VERY anxious about his spontaneous nature. Ody tries to respect Dio for his talent, but can’t shake the feeling that it’ll get them both killed.

these thoughts come back during the Palladium heist (which, in L&M is a game of sci fi ripoff poker between Ody & Helen), where Ody tries to stab Dio after Diomedes almost drops the Palladium.

This is an interesting emotional moment for Diomedes, as it tests his undying loyalty and alters his perception of Odysseus

I could yap more if anyone wants but this is all I’ll do rn lol

[doueverwonder]

seeing @louis--wifey talk about their texicali kids so much made me think about my indibama kids again so i'm posting them lol (mom is indy bc I am a femIndiana truther)

Mobile, 'Billy', 17, (he/him)

Typically very warm and friendly, and the top offender when it comes to passive-aggressively making people take care of themselves. Currently going through an aloof phase, he’ll get over it though. Has and has had, a lot of nonconventional pets over the years snakes, turtles, frogs, salamanders, a couple ant farms (fire ants once though he made sure his parents didn’t find out about that…). Locked in a lifelong feud with New Orleans over Mardis Gras (he also has a crush on her but the feud is more important >:[) 

Fort Wayne, 'Winnie', 14, (she/her)

Personality much like her namesake General “mad” Anthony Wayne. Her passion for just about everything she’s into isn’t always bad but she is very easy to rile up, very short fuse, regular in both the nurses and principals offices. Really much like Alabama, but somehow worse. Very passionate about the environment but in a very 14 yr old way, out here scolding her family members for things like not recycling and leaving the sink on while they brush their teeth. 

Huntsville, 'Hunt', 13, (she/her)

Loudest of the kids no competition, the child can scream and will not hesitate to do so. Usually just because she’s just so excited and can’t keep it all bottled up or she feels like she’s going to burst. Got her passion for mechanics from Indiana, but instead of getting into cars and developing a bordering unhealthy obsession with NASCAR like mom and dad went “you know what’s cooler than race cars? Spaceships!!” and it all was downhill from there. Definitely a Mathlete. 

Evansville, 'Evan', 12, (she/her)

The most mild of all the kids, not really loud and angry like dad, not really quiet and passive-aggressive like mom. She’s the mild salsa of people, and she is definitely happy that way. Very interested in medical fields, particularly the ones most people find the grossest, knows a lot of medicine history though mostly civil war and ww1. Walk away now if you don’t want to hear about the history of amputations and prosthetics. 

Tuscaloosa, 'Lucy', 11, (he/him) (twin)

The rough and tumble kid, much like Alabama when he was young. Stubborn and very opinionated. Wishes he was still the capital, often jealous that Montgomery gets to be it. Football is already his entire personality, wears nothing but Crimson Tide merch, and has played youth football since he was four. Regular in urgent care, not always for football related injuries because he is also just has dumbass as a personality trait. 

Montgomery, 'Monty', 11, (he/him) (twin)

Most quiet and anxious of the kids, much like Indiana when she was young, and also like his namesake General Richard Montgomery. Even already often wishes Tuscaloosa was still the capital just to not have to deal with the responsibility of it. Absolute history nerd, “did ya know-” could be his catchphrase with how often he walks up to any available family member to go on his latest ramble. Plays football too, but really hates it, too nervous to tell Alabama he doesn’t like it. 

Indianapolis, 'IJ', 11, (he/him) (Irish triplet)

How to kindly call an eleven year old a snobby, self-important, prick. Genuinely thinks he’s the center of the universe, not helped by the fact that he is in the dead center of Indiana. Has that previously mentioned bordering unhealthy obsession with NASCAR. He's also just so... annoyingly patriotic, but doesn't show it until you're too far in to the conversation to just walk away.

South Bend, 'Joey', 9, (they/them)

I mean this affectionately, they’re weird. You either die a weird little boy or live to see yourself become a weird nonbinary teenager. Car enthusiasts, but not specifically NASCAR like the majority of the family, just generally likes cars. While you studied the blade they were at antique car shows. Really close with good ol’ Uncle Michigan. 

Birmingham, 'Bee', 8, (he/him)

Greco-Roman myths nerd over here, never going to leave his PJO phase. That baby of the family privileges really make up half this guys personality, gets whatever he wants bc he's mamas baby boy. Not really relevant to his personality but he is a solid kid, v dense.

[canisonicscrewyou]

DUNNO WHAT OTHER ANON WAS TALKING ABOUT BUT I CARE. tell me about it

I have been meaning to answer these for like a hot week. Take my hand(s). Come with me. This AU is excellent if you don't care too much about canon and if you want to permanently ruin the way you watch Eleven's run w the Ponds. This is also just straight infodumping.

This post is both shorter and longer than I expected. I can talk about this for ages so this is truly one of those topics that’s like If You Have Any Questions At All About Fobwatched Rory!Master AU GimmeGimmeGimme I Will Always Be Down To Talk About Him/Them.

The gist is that this is an AU where Rory Williams is still Rory Williams. It’s just that Rory Williams should not exist? It’s just that Rory Williams Definitely Did Not Exist until some busted TARDIS fell into a backyard in Leadworth in the 90s and sat there to rot. It’s- It’s just that Rory Williams is a front. Was made up. Rory Williams is genetically human. Rory Williams has a fobwatch that has been harboring the Master for as long as Rory Williams has existed.

The background is that the year is 2012 and this is a headcanon being tossed around because the Master has not even been alluded to in Eleven’s run. Criminal. This premise was promptly stolen by me and ruined my brain for the next 12 years. There are a handful of fanfics that explore this premise, it’s been Too Long since I’ve read any so I truly don’t have any recommendations right now.

So. We have Rory Williams.

You may ask me “Hey, Andrew, in 2012 when other people were playing with this headcanon, was there anything in canon that could have supported this? Not because you NEED to justify headcanons and AUs with hard canon. I’m just curious.” and I say thank you for specifying. YES. Definitely. Totally.

I hope this helps :)) No straws were being grasped :)) It will be like 3 more years until Missy is introduced :))))) Some of us were starving :))))))))

So now that that’s some fun fandom lore established let’s settle this bastard (the Master)’s timeline…

From the Doctor’s timeline: Eleven has not actually seen the Master. Eleven’s last time seeing the Master was Simm!Master being dragged back to Gallifrey before the regeneration tour. The Master is dead.

From the Master’s timeline: Missy is dying. Missy is trying not to die and is effectively kickstarting a new regeneration cycle.

There are two priorities here: Get far away from the Doctor and get far away from any version of themself. In fact that new regeneration cycle might take time to fully develop. Doubly in fact, the Master’s TARDIS is not in good shape.

Solution: chameleon arch.

Rory Williams is not meticulously planned as a human. Rory Williams didn’t even have a name made up when the Master was both regenerating and going under the chameleon arch. There was no planning or time to plan. There was just going, and hoping for the best, because the chameleon arch will sort itself out just fine. (wrong)

Amelia Pond moves to Leadworth with her family as a young girl.

The night Amelia Pond settles into a house with a crack in the bedroom wall, a TARDIS crashes in someone else’s backyard in Leadworth. And Brian and Mallory Williams suddenly remember that they were supposed to be renovating their daughter’s bedroom (that strangely looks like a home office at the time), and put Rory Williams to sleep on the couch after he comes wandering in from the woods out back.

Rory Williams meets Amelia Pond the literal next day, and immediately, unknowingly, the youngest 7 year old in existence Fucks The Master’s Whole Shit Up For An Entire Millennia.

About a week later, the Doctor crash-lands into Amelia Pond’s backyard, and there is literally too much going on for him to even get a HINT that his Best Divorced Enemy is taking a ✨Mental Health Break✨ a few blocks over.

Amelia tells Rory all about the Raggedy Doctor she met and he does not question the weird anxious feeling in his stomach at all, because this kid is dealing with other things, like transgenderism and hanging off of Amelia Pond’s arm and also her Every Last Word. He will get dragged into games of Raggedy Doctor until they are at least 15 and will look at all of her Raggedy Doctor fanart and trinkets and listen to her borderline religious obsession with this character and is the only person in Leadworth aside from Mels to not look at her funny or tell her its all A Bit Too Much when she starts ranting about him. He decides early on he wants to be a doctor. Or maybe a nurse.

curb your enthusiasm.mp3

Everything from Eleventh Hour on is… Pretty accurate. The Master isn’t even really involved. The Master is in an old antique wristwatch somewhere in the Williams’ house, buried in boxes in Rory’s closet. I’m sure there’s a joke there somewhere.

Rory Williams is just. Like that.

The Master has no hand in Rory Williams’ sheer inability to die.

Every time Rory somehow evades inexistence the Master is pleasantly surprised. It makes absolutely no damn sense how this random human managed to escape death multiple times. It makes no damn sense that he just so managed to become an Auton just so he could guard his girlfriend for 1000 years (for the Doctor, but it’s important that every move this man makes is in Amy Pond’s name. The Doctor doesn’t even cross Rory’s mind when he decides to watch over the Pandorica.).

Rory Williams does not think much about how anxious he feels in the TARDIS. Somehow, the TARDIS makes him feel claustrophobic. Somehow, he feels like he isn’t welcome there, though nobody around him would give him that impression, ever. He does not think much about how he understood how the TARDIS worked immediately outside of the one article he read on dimensional travel. There is a period of time where he thinks the sickly feeling he gets in his stomach looking at the Doctor is just him needing to unpack weird feelings around his own bisexuality and Amy teases him relentlessly for it, because honestly, it’s just mortifying that it’s the Doctor of all people.

Around the Power of Three, Brian Williams is downsizing. It’s just him living in Rory’s childhood home now, no reason to hold onto all of these boxes of things.

Brian discovers an old, busted wrist watch in Rory’s childhood bedroom, buried deep in his closet shelves where he frankly never even touched. There’s some part of his memory that tells him it was from Rory’s grandfather, some hand me down, a gift for a christening, something. Rory should have this watch. Rory would want it. Next time he sees Rory, he gives it to him.

Rory is now aware of the watch. The Master is now aware that Rory is aware of the watch. The watch has gotten incredibly claustrophobic. The Universe resetting itself doesn’t take away Rory’s centurion stint, and it doesn’t apply to streams of consciousness that are hidden in dusty Time Lord tech. Rory does not want to open the watch- there is a part of Rory deeply self aware that if it’s opened, he will no longer exist. Every fiber of Rory’s being feels compelled to open the watch. The Master does want to open the watch- but the Master does not, cannot have, the watch opening around the Doctor. Neither man wins in this scenario.

You are the Master. You explicitly chose some random coordinates and fobwatched yourself into some random human with a random backstory. You somehow wound up best friends with the person obsessed with your ex that you were AVOIDING. You all traipse around his TARDIS together. You die and come back multiple times for this girl, this woman that you hooked onto immediately. Your daughter marries that same fucking ex. You couldn't have pranked yourself harder if you tried.

You are Amy Pond. You shouldn't really exist but you do against all odds. And you do not deserve any of this.

When the Master comes out(ha.) it is messy and awkward and nobody has a good time. There is no discernible reason why the Doctor should believe the Master going “oops !! oopsie !! well this is awkward isn’t it !!!!” while wearing the face of his best friend’s husband, and a very good friend of his own, and also technically his father-in-law. The Master is also aware of this. The Master is, actually, feeling kind of guilty that he killed Amy Pond’s husband right in front of her?

The Master has been locked in a state of half-regeneration for 1000 years. The Master has been in Rory Williams head, and likewise the Master has had Rory Williams in his own head. The Master is softly aware that there is something different in him this time around. There is something that feels decidedly human, sickly and overly emotional and cagey. There’s also just plain dysphoria when he looks in the mirror as himself, as the Master and not Rory, for the first time, something that absolutely fucks up the Master who is A. A Time Lord who has regenerated dozens of times B. Up until this point frequently operates on the idea that “Any Working Body Is A Good Body”.z

Eleven hates his guts. Amy is not fond either. (I am convinced that if that watch opened up without the Doctor around at all he would’ve immediately snatched up Amy and forced her to be his best friend even if she didn’t want to. I am certain that if Rory opened the watch at a few specific points the Master could’ve absolutely just willingly whisked Amy away to be his own companion and they would be sooo fucked up together.) It is uncertain to everyone involved whether or not River knew this was a possibility, let alone something she knew would even happen. The Master is spiraling. The Master is also lonely, both in the present and in the memory of being Missy. The memory of a Doctor who doesn’t exist yet. Rory Williams is a ghost that haunts the Master until he regenerates. Rory is in his sudden knowledge of how to properly bandage a burn. Rory is in his hesitation at saying the coldest and cruelest thing he could think of to get a reaction out of Amy Pond. Missy is in the inside joke he quips to the Doctor before realizing that the joke hasn’t happened yet. Missy is in the way he wonders if the Doctor even had a chance at remembering this regeneration of his since the whole timeline is disrupted, so does it actually matter what he does with it? Between Rory and between everything that happened with Missy and the Saxon Master and Twelve, is he actually what he perceives as the Master anymore? Or will another version of himself eventually just come along and put him down like a sick dog for not performing correctly, too?

Rory haunts the Master in the way that the Doctor can’t look at the Master’s face without revulsion for ages. Until the Master is grasping at straws, and suddenly insisting that the Doctor look him in the eyes. And he does- he just barely does. It’s not what he was expecting, but he does it. The Master grabs at his wrist and there’s a desperate insistence to the way he says it, the most pathetic “Say My Name” to ever fall from any regeneration’s lips, and when the Doctor does say “Master…”, it’s only to follow up with “Master… Are you okay?” because NO he clearly isn’t. The Master is quite obviously never okay but this is different, nothing is working the way it used to, nothing sounds right and even the Doctor isn’t doing it right and it’s clearly(/s) all just because of Fucking Rory Williams.

Anyways. It’s about haunting your own narrative and it’s about how to best fuck up a Time Lord who was Too Human For Too Long. It’s about giving the Master empathy and both gender and social dysphoria and an identity crisis.

It's also about Amelia Pond and Rory Williams, two human beings who by all accounts should NOT exist at all, finding and loving each other because two TARDISes crash landed in Leadworth in 1996.

In Conclusion:

P.S. while I’m here: Him Face (Also important to note that if you’ve read this far in, congratulations, you get the added fun fact of knowing that in this the Master’s TARDIS is a horribly beat up and graffiti’d vending machine. It’s not stuck like that. It’s just how his TARDIS prefers to present, and shockingly, the Master’s TARDIS refuses to listen to a word he fucking says.)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I suspect I know the answer but. AITA for "disappearing" from my online accounts pretty regularly?

I (22) have been fairly active in online fandom culture since I was ~13. Most of that has been on tumblr, some on twitter/tiktok/discord. I bounce around between different fandoms-- there's not really any one fandom that has stuck since I was a kid-- and I'm not a big creator. I don't do art, I occasionally write fanfic but never anything that's gotten super famous (which I'm cool with, I write for the enjoyment of myself and the like 5 other freaks who like the same things I do. it would honestly really bother me if I got too much attention.)

I also have some issues with paranoia and social detachment. I dealt with rather severe childhood abuse, which I'm not going to discuss, but which basically means I'm very emotionally detached. I have solo hobbies i really enjoy, and I like discussing common interests (like fandom stuff) with people, but I've never really had friends/romantic interests, and have zero interest in either of those things. The only people I'm really close to are my siblings. I'm definitely not an introvert, not shy/socially anxious, and not lonely. I have morals and care about society in a general sense, and I want the best for people, so I try to be polite and a Good Person as much as possible-- but ultimately I don't feel any kind of attachment to other people. I really don't want to hurt people, I just want to be left alone.

I really try to politely communicate this to people, since I've had quite a few incidents where I've been told I "lead people on", or people thinking we're friends and then getting upset when they realize I really don't care that much about them. It does make me feel bad to hurt others like that (and is also frustrating to deal with), but I can't exactly force myself to have emotions. I get along well with my irl coworkers/classmates/roommates, since they understand I just need a lot of space. Where I may be TA is with online friends.

About once every 6-12 months, I delete my entire online presence and start over. I orphan my ao3 fics, delete any and all accounts, and make sure my new accounts don't in any way link back to my old accounts. Usually when I do this it's because 1 I've changed interests and don't care about my old fandom, or 2 I feel like the people I know online start getting too close and emotionally attached to me. I usually post an explanation a few days before so people don't think something bad happened, saying that I'm going to be taking a break from social media for a while, and if anyone asks me for another way to contact me I just say I'm going to be completely offline. Then I just.... wipe everything and start over. I don't really know what my old mutuals are doing and don't particularly care? Like obviously I wish all the best for them, but I just don't think about them at all.

I've been doing this since I was a young teenager, but I was discussing fandom/social media presence with some irl classmates recently and brought it up. The reactions ranged from "weird but harmless" to "super mean and hurtful to the people you abandoned".

So: tumblr, AITA for disappearing?

What are these acronyms?

[bumblebeerror]

My back nerves have been befuckened. About 12 hours ago now. I got home, had something to eat, and then conked out.

Notes on this experience:

During -

The saline they flushed my IV with tasted weird and metallic. Sort of like if ozone was stale. It was weird being able to taste things in my veins. I could also hear/feel each thing get injected.

Funky bendy needle. Mom explained it was actually a cath needle because they’re easier to work with. The nurse’s placement was awesome, I didn’t even feel it go in.

It’s hard to find a comfortable laying position on your back on a hospital bed. I ended up sitting with my knees up.

Several of the staff glanced at my tiny elephant stuffie with some form of bemusement. I stuck its feet between my fingers so that it wouldn’t fall out of my hand. No idea if this worked but I did still have it when I woke up. This could have just been one of the nurses putting it back in my hand at some stage.

Nasal cannula made it hard to breathe out. 0/10 did not like. Also made my nose itchy.

I was asked who I was and what I was there for a total of 5 times. It felt like a weird pop quiz. I remembered “bilateral ablation” and was proud of myself.

I somehow managed to only have a BP of 130/80 despite being more anxious than I’ve been in a while. I do not like not knowing what’s happening to my body, and I was largely nonverbal.

Doc said he wished he didn’t have to stab me when I told him I was ready to be stabbed. Mom called bullshit because she’s a nurse and she knows it’s fun. He found this hilarious

After -

The anesthesiologist was a really sweet dude. I woke up to him saying “it’s time to wake up, you did a great job!” I apparently got a good grade in being anesthsetized, normal to want and possible to achieve

I had a dream, but immediately upon waking up I forgot everything about the dream. It was replaced instantly with the entire time I was out feeling like a blink.

I lost short term memory in 5-10 second chunks after waking up for a little while. I remember waking up to the anesthesiologist, then forgot transferring to the rolling bed and being returned to the curtained bay I started out at. I remember choosing juice and peanut butter crackers, forgot the person who brought them walking over and back to get them and me opening both, had to double check id said things out loud to my mom. This is when I remember finding my stuffie still in my hand.

The aftermath felt like being high on weed without the munchies or the body high feeling. Everything was slowed down and it took me a while to process questions, my eyes were itchy, and I was kind of sleepy.

At this point I was expecting pain but didn’t have any, and asked if my back had been numbed. It had not. On account of me being sedated and all

I was allowed to walk out under my own power. The floor felt kind of uneven and I held my mom’s hand so that I wouldn’t float off. I was constructing sentences by then but mostly out of necessity than out of actually wanting to talk.

We ran errands on the way home, got coffee and donuts, picked up prescriptions. I was awake and aware, but struggled with speaking and mostly listened to mom talk.

Ate, played a little with Duck, finished my matcha, and conked the fuck out. Slept from like 2pm to 6pm. Laying down was mostly comfortable? My back felt slightly strained in a lot of positions until I found one where it didn’t.

Back now aches along a tendon that connects near my hip and I can feel it when I move, and otherwise just. Feels vaguely like I’ve had a needle in my back a couple times for obvious reasons. Sort of sore, maybe like a really deep bruise, a bit irritated, but otherwise fine. Less pain than I woke up with this morning. I fully expected it to be a gets worse before it gets better kinda deal.

Conclusion: 9/10 I could stand to have fewer memory blanks but the surprise almost no pain is nice. We shall see if it starts burning at some point

[musingmelsuinesmelancholy]

4, 8, 12 for the december ask game

4) Do you have any favorite holiday foods? What magical correspondences do you assign to them? LOBSTER STEW LOBSTER STEW LOBSTER STEW. very fond of orange zest French toast, my father made this every Xmas morning, and homemade gingerbread. I don't really have any magical associations with those foods.

8) What Spirits or Deities reign over this time of year in your practice? Can you tell us about them? Mary, Eve (as first mother) St Bride (as midwife to Mary) St Columba of Sens. Female Ancestors. The dead in general. Epona, Cernunnos, Maponos, Matronae as divine ancestors, Sucellos and Nantoseulta as underworld gods, Rosmerta as a goddess of prophecy. The Devil; I've come to understand the days before feast days as important times for him. December is, for me, a time to honor female ancestors (beloved and mighty) as well as to engage with prophecy/divination. So Eve, Mary and St Bride are celebrated this month. St Columba's feast day is Dec 31st. Shes a very interesting saint. French and Spanish, would've been alive when it was Gaul/Gallica. Virgin martyr survived being sold to a brothel via an attack bear, then survived burning via miraculous rain and then was beheaded. Saint of witches, hags, sorcerers, rain and I believe protection from fire. Epona leads the hunt searching for Maponos, Cernnunos is another candidate for both the leader of the hunt and Dis Pater as well as lord of the dead- possibly. Sucellos means good striker and he could also maybe fill the role of Dis Pater and/or lord of the land of the dead, so I find this time of year fitting to honor him as a god that creates and upholds the boundaries (I understand this as a very liminal weird [wyrd] time). Nantoseulta is his consort. This is very much a time of the dead, the underworld and the hunt for me. Interested in getting to know Folhmault more as I believe it rises around the solstice, would've risen two days before my birth.

12) What do you do to rest in your practice? Do you take time off from spiritual matters, meditate or take care of your spiritual self in some way? to prevent exhaustion and burnout for example? This is a heightened time of spirit contact for me, so it can be busy! However as my foremothers are so important rn I am able to seek rest, solace, guidance and wisdom in them. I like planning my focus for the coming year this month as well, prevents me from feeling anxious and rushed when the time comes to do the thing. I do have a meditation routine and I am, very slowly, developing a religious routine. Both these things grant me peace. I dont take time off per sey as I do not see a separation of the witch from the ginger gremlin.