#I feel so unwell rn I can’t do this anymore

[miraclewoozi]

vernon going slow one day so you think its because he doesnt have the energi to be on top so you suggets you switch. turns out he just wanna take his time with you :((

“wha- wait, what are you doing?” vernon’s eyebrows knit together in confusion and he slows to a stop as you yank at his shoulders and tighten your thighs around his waist in an attempt to do… something.

“i was trying to flip you over,” you grumble.

“why?”

you sigh. “you were going so slow… i thought you were tired. i figured maybe you wanted me to be on top.”

a smirk stretches across your boyfriend’s face and he leans down to kiss you, mumbling against your lips. “always so impatient.”

you whine as he starts to move his hips again, fucking you even slower now. you know he’s just doing it to be an asshole but it feels so good you can’t even be mad… at first.

as good as it feels, it isn’t enough to get you anywhere. impatience starts to simmer in your chest again despite all your best efforts (barely any efforts) and it isn’t long before you’re begging for more.

“vernon,” you pant, nails digging into his back.

“hm?”

“can you go faster? please?”

“i want to take my time with you,” he tells you sweetly, only a hint of amusement in his voice giving away his true intentions.

he probably had wanted to take his time with you initially. he didn’t make love to you like this very often. but now you knew he was doing it to tease you.

“you can still take your time with me if you go faster,” you urge.

“how would that work, baby?”

“i… i don’t know,” you moan, “i just need you to fuck me harder— please, i’ll do anything!” you clench around him to punctuate your point, making him curse under his breath and nearly lose his balance above you. it’s the little victories.

“anything?”

“anything…”

he pretends to think about it and then shrugs. “i think i already have everything i want right here, like this.”

[thefandom-casserole]

Episode 52 Notes-

I say this everytime but god I’m so scared rn

I saw spoilers on discord 😭 

My headphones are still broken this sounds so weird

WTF

WHAT IS THIS INTRO

OMG

OMG

ITS HEROOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AYYYYYYYY

I LOVE HER SO MUCH

I love how it’s Taylor singing about Hero instead of Normal her literal brother 😭 

Taylor Fact: Taylor’s personal heaven would be hot soup not spaghetti

Just Italy and Asia have separate personal heavens 

He hasn’t had his coffee 

Linc Fact: Linc’s favorite dessert is applesauce 

Honestly same though. But only homemade 

Pork and applesauce is so good

Normal Fact: Normal still has four baby teeth in his mouth 

Scary Fact: One time Scary’s mom threatened to take her to a chiropractor for an attitude adjustment and now Scary has neck pain 

Anthony Fact: THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST EPSIODE

I know this one isn’t

But still

Oh god

THE TWIZZLERS OMG

AVHAHAHAHAHAHAGE

Mercedes can’t kill him fuckkkkkkk

Taylors character arc 😭 omg

Hermie Scampler omg I feel like that hit more than just Dood

Oh no Willy left 

Normal Style

What was that voice from Beth 😭 😭 

Spanish speaking Normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Autistic Linc strikes again

I love Linc so much omg

LINC DID THE SOCCER THING

WHERE HE FAKES

JMAGAHAHHAHA

SPORTS HUMOR

Hero!!!!!!-):$&:&/$:

God I love hero

ARE YOU MOCKING ME WILL?

I said that to my friend Wil today actually

HEROOOOO

My favorite bit is Taylor and Hero omg

LET HIM PASS PLEASE PELAEE

A NAT ONE 

OMG

THATS FANATASTIC

HE BROKE THE SWORD

NOOOOOOOOO

The dnd experience of not being able to open a door

Hero and Normal love each a hahsjsnansndjd

Persuasion YES

SCARY

SHES NKT MISERABLE ANYMORE

“With the power of love and friendship we’ll save the world!” << Normal’s 24 persuasion roll

Nat one for Dood :cccccccc

DOOD WORSHIPS THEM

OMG ITS SO SWEET

ITS WHOLE SPEECH WAS SO GOOD

“It’s like what my dad says. When life gives you apples, you’ve gotta make applesauce”

It’s actually crazy how much I love applesauce. Especially with cinnamon. Yummmmmmmmm

GROUO HUY

Wait just found a post about kfc im intrigued wtf

Back to the topic at hand oop

WAIT WAIT WHAT

A DIMENSIOM KF

Chaos and darkness, confusion and love, fear and anger

:ccccc soemthing something that correlates to the teens and of course that’s where they go. of course. 

“I know you can do this. I think you all are gonna be alright”

THIS JS MY THIRTEENTH REASON OMG OMG OMG

THIS IS MY WHITE WHALE

JESUS CHRIST

OMG OMG

THEY DUD THE THING

SAVE ME S1 SONG REFERENCES IN S2 SAVE ME

And a fucking ad ong omg

Ayyyy Willy can’t travel through realms now that’s good that’s good

“LINC what do you mean we don’t need you”

And that ladies and gentlemen is Scary, 52 episodes in. Beth May you’re a fucking genius. HER ARC WAS SO AHAHAHAHABAHBAJAHABZBBB

I’m unwell

Linc I love him so much omg. 

His soccer special interest makes me so happy. 

Linc is me fr I love him so much 😭 

TWO TIME TRAVEKING LESBIANSNSNAHAHANSJAHA

I SCREAMED 

I SCREAMED

AHHANSNABABAHS

JANE AND LIZZY

I love them so much :>>>>>>>

Immortal combat I loved that

Linc always carries a ball pump Jesus

Linc also hasn’t lost his baby teeth

NORMLINC I DONT KNWO THEIR SHIP NAME

Dolphin diver Linc

Darryl learned a lot!!!!!!! I love Darryl ong

PAEDEN

OAEDEN MABAGAHAHAGAG HAS SVGEGSFSHAHSHHAHAHHSHSHHSHAGSHAHAHSHGAGWGEHSHSHSBSHSHBSBSHSHAHAGSHAAHSHSHHSHSJSJSJSJSJJSJSBDHSJSJAHDHSAHSJSJSSVSHJSVAVSVSVVSAVV

PARDNE IN AGAHSHBSBS SBAHGABSHHSSSGHAHAHEGWWGGS

HES IN s2

I can’t breath

HAHAHAAGGSVSGVSVSVVSV

HAHAHAGSGSGGSGSGSGEGGWGWGGWGWGWGGWGGWGW

JM LOSOIMF IT

For how little that was

I replayed it so many times

Go teens!!!!!!!!!!

BETH

LINC vs Freddie’s dad who’d win

IS CHUG GONNA BE LJKE DOUG

HOLY SHIT

CHUG THE ACCIUNTANT

DOUG THE INTERNE

What a dumb name WILL

My Wil (you know who you are scuttles) if you see this know I’m looking at you. Defense is going down. Way to win rock paper scissors loser /aff

Willy Wonka and the Unknownnnnn

They

They forgot about Hermie

Again

Omg

I’m gonna lose it

They brought Hermie back

And forgot about him

This is fucking hilarious 

They forgot about Hermie 

Ayyy Hermie is back again

Jesus

Hermie can’t pretend to be water Jesus 

Hot glue normal strikes again!!!

Teeny!!!!!!!!!!!

Taylor and Normal arts and crafts duo!!!!!!!!!

Chuggs talks like me in real life actually

Gee whilikers 

Chugs the real life warrior

ROGUE IS SCARY’S FAMILIAR

FALCOR THE DOGGAGGAGABABABABABBABABAHSBAHAHAHAGAHA

Scary’s kinda scared of dogs!!! Just like me fr!!!

Swiftli crumbsbsbbabahahahahs

“Little less attitude”

Hermie!!!!!!

Hermie as Taylorrrrrrrrrrr

THEYRE COUSINS

ISH

NORMAL

NORMAL

SCARY’S BIO DAD SHIT MAN

FAIRYTALE

OMG

Jesus Christ

Taylor is gonna go insane if Willy kills Cassandra

HE WILL LOSE HIS MIND IF WILLY KILLS CASSANDRA

WILLY LLEASE KILL CASSANDRA

RABECCA

OG MY GOD

Finale next episode

I’m gonna sob

[ec1ips3]

-;༉‧₊˚✧ 𝐬𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬

⚡︎ pairing: tasm!peter parker x fem!reader

⚡︎ request: hii i’m super sick rn so i was wondering if you could write a peter parker (tasm) x fem reader and he comes over to the readers house to take care of her and he’s just super touchy (nth sexual) and he just lays in bed with her all day. lots of fluff please i’ve been dying these past couple of days and would appreciate it a lot🤍

⚡︎ summary: you're miserable being sick but your favorite person comes to care for you and make you feel a little less miserable.

⚡︎ warnings: sickness??, she/her pronouns, just a whole lot of fluff

⚡︎ word count:

⚡︎ a/n: first thing first i just want to say i'm so sorry to the anon that it took THIS long to write and post this. i have just been doing a lot of writing assignments and when I write too much in a day, i have no idea anymore. but yeah i do feel sorry but heyyy it is here by Friday like i said. but yeah, enjoy! happy reading! <33

masterlist | peter’s masterlist | taglist

Peter was standing outside the door. He had just knocked on the door twice and was waiting for a response. He hadn’t seen you in classes for the past two days, to say he got a little worried would be an understatement. After school when he would patrol the city he would always stop by your apartment building, just to maybe, just maybe take a peek inside. But your curtains had been shut like any other sane person, then he would get creeped out by himself and leave quickly. 

Peter walked in and smiled, the flowers he had just picked up for you in his hand. He didn’t know why he got flowers if he was honest. “Thank you Ms. H/l/n, yeah I was starting to wonder where she was”

Peter walked in and smiled, the flowers he had just picked up for you in his hand. He didn’t know why he got flowers if he was honest. “Thank you Ms. H/l/n, yeah I was starting to wonder where she was”

Peter walked in and smiled, the flowers he had just picked up for you in his hand. He didn’t know why he got flowers if he was honest. “Thank you Ms. H/l/n, yeah I was starting to wonder where she was”

Your mom closed the door and gasped, “she hadn’t told you? God, she’s just been really sick lately, called me to help her feel better” she laughed.

“Really? How long have you been at it?”

“She started to feel unwell five days ago, and called me the fourth… Yeah, I’ve been here for about three days. Finally convinced her to rest the second” she smiled at him.

“I could take her off your hands for the rest of the day. I know it can sometimes be a little tiring” Peter offered, this was mainly so he could just spend time with you. He missed you. Like, a lot. He just needs to be in your presence and he needs to touch you.

Your mother sighed out of relief, “you’re a lifesaver. I feel like I’ve started to get sick myself” she tells Peter. She gathered her things around him, “let me tell her I’ll be back tomorrow”

Peter nodded and your mother quickly left into your bedroom. He heard your voice but he didn’t hear what you were saying. One thing he knew for sure was a groan as your mother was walking out of your room. 

“She’s a little cranky but I told her I have a surprise for her. Be careful around her, she might be contagious” Your mother says. She bid Peter a bye and left the apartment. 

He settled his backpack down and moved the flowers to his other hand. Peter quietly walked to her bedroom, and when he got to the closed door, he knocked on it. He knocked with The knock. His knock.

You turned over in your bed, “Y/n?” he said from the outside. “Come in!” You said.

Peter’s head peeked in first when you smiled. His smile came on his face as well, so warm and gentle. “Peter!” You said, your sore throat catching up to you, making you cough. 

“Woah, be careful” Peter quickly went to your side, hiding the flowers behind his back.

“No, you can’t be too close. You might get sick too”, you warn him, moving further away from him. Peter just shook his head in response. 

“I missed you.” He said, moving a stray hair behind your ear. He wanted to see your face clearly. He wanted to see your beauty more. So when he moved your hair, he smiled again.

That was the type of friendship you and Peter had. It wasn’t a complete relationship but it wasn’t just best friends either. You know he likes you and he knows you like him, but no one has acted on it. Other than maybe a kiss or two… It’s been two. 

Because of the relationship you two had, it wasn’t unusual to fix one’s hair, hold hands, cuddle each other, and kiss the other on the cheek. It always gave you butterflies though.

“I missed you too but what are you doing here?” you hadn’t told him you were sick. You only told him that something had come up which is why you weren’t in classes.

“I told you why” he laughs after

You roll your eyes, “did you kick my mom out?” you asked, sitting up straight.

“I wouldn’t say kicked out per se. I would say I encouraged her to leave so I could take care of you” 

“So you kicked her out”

“Nicely,” he says with a smile.

You laugh at him, you really did miss him, more than he realizes. 

“You’re the clumsiest person I’ve ever met and you’re taking care of me? God save me” You say jokingly. You know that when it comes to you, Peter does everything he can to make sure you’re okay.

Peter gasped loudly, “I know you did not just insinuate that I do have the ability to care for you. Well, I’ll have you know, I’m an amazing nurse”

You giggle at him, “Well nurse, I would love some soup”

“Soup coming right up,” he said, kissing your cheek.

He started to walk away but you noticed what he was holding behind his back. “Hey, what are you holding?” you ask. 

Peter looks back at you and realizes what you meant. He completely forgot that he had flowers in hand the entire time. “These are for you” He hands them to you, making sure his fingers brush against your hands. 

“You got me flowers? Peter, I’m sick. Not in the hospital” You laugh

“I didn’t know what was wrong. If you were sad, mad, sick, or left the country. You never told me anything!” Peter jokes, making you laugh. 

“So you got me sympathy flowers?” you ask

“I got you sympathy flowers.” He said before leaving the room on that note.

You giggle a bit, god he’s such a nerd. But he’s a cute nerd.

A couple of minutes pass and Peter comes back. On one hand, is soup, and on the other is a vase with water. You excitingly grab the soup and hand him the flowers to put in the vase. Peter grabs the laptop on your bed and puts in the passcode, then turns on Netflix.

You sip your soup watching him, “Peter stops touching that” you were about to swat his hand away but he grabs your hand instead. “I’ll be fine. I won’t get sick” Peter says, typing away on the keyboard. 

Peter puts on Supernatural, knowing it’s one of your favorites. Peter sits on the bed next to you.

“You’re too close Peter, I don’t want to get you sick” You move away from him.

“I’m willing to take that risk,” he says, his hand wrapping around yours. Before you have any time to respond to him or his hand the intro begins your eyes go to your laptop.

It keeps you occupied for a while, just until your soup is done. Peter getting up and washing the bowl for you to go back and sit on your bed. But when he gets back his hand wraps around yours like before. He needed to touch you and even holding your hand wasn’t enough.

The both of you would commentate back and forth about what was happening, eventually, Peter got more touch starved than he was before so he loved closer to you.

“Pete-” you begin to scold him.

“Just let it happen. I want to be close to you” Peter lowers himself into you, putting his head on your shoulder.

“I’m sick, Peter,” You say quietly

“That’s okay. I just wanna touch you” he mumbles.

You look at the only parts you can see of him. You nod and lay your head on top of his. He’s been dreaming of this for years. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The two of you stay like that for a while, both of you getting tired as the sun was beginning to set. Anytime the both of you would change positions, it would be because one of you had to go to the bathroom or Peter would get you another tissue box. 

The final position you were both in was you and Peter holding onto each other, not willing to let the other go. You know he shouldn’t be this close to you, your mother started to get sick. The thought of him getting sick and feeling horrible would hit you.

“Peter, we shouldn’t be doing this” you mumbled in his chest.

At this moment he wished you knew about his abilities. Maybe then you would know he wouldn’t be able to get you sick because of his new immune system. 

He wouldn’t trade this moment for anything, this is now his favorite moment. You’re his favorite person. You’re his favorite person to talk to and about. You’re his favorite person to be around. You’re just his favorite. He isn’t willing to not be around his favorite. He wants to touch you every time he sees you and not wonder if this is okay.

“Y/n” 

You hummed into him, that was the best response you’ll give for now.

“When you feel better, can I take you on a date?” He asked.

You pause, you look up at him, “Are you serious? Like a real date?”

“Why not? You could say no. I just wanted to, maybe, most likely go out with you one day.” Peter said. 

You smiled at him, “I would love to” you respond.

Peter squeezes you tighter. He kisses the top of your head and finally closes his eyes, mumbling a perfect. You follow suit immediately after, falling asleep with him in your arms, and you in his.

This is exactly what Peter wanted. He wanted you in his arms for as long as he can’t. He’s holding tight almost like you would’ve run away from him. But you won’t. Not when you have a date with him next week.

again, sorry this took so long. also confession, I've never watched an episode of supernatural and i don't like soup..

[zero-braincells-left]

hey zero!!! I just wanted to check in

are you doing alright? I've seen a couple of your posts recently and you seemed unwell (mentally) so I just wanted to make sure you are alright!

- (starting today) daily check in anon! 🩵

i mean ive been doing pretty good?? tbh whevener I post stuff I forget about it like ten minutes later most of the time so im assuming ur talking abt whatever it was when I wasn’t feeling great abt going back to school n shit and. it’s just like that every weekend ig

if you had a specific thing in mind that I’ve mentioned then uhhh?? ask I guess

venting adjacent?? not gonna tag this as a vent tho it’s more just me typing a lot

i don’t really post abt any actual problems i have which the main things rn ig are just

-friend I really care about has been calling me weird and really annoying more and more often (as i mentioned a few times here before it’s just like. being annoying is the only way i can show affection but it is uhhhh not effective with most people)

-haven’t been outright called annoying but feel like im being annoying and clingy to one of my friends and. I feel like he doesn’t like it when I hang out with him . the fact that i have a crush on him is not helping me in the slightest

-my old friend group is still an issue but I think it’s been bothering me less?? i mean it’s still gonna suck for a while. it sucks whenever i look at the messages they sent that I was not meant to see, and it sucks when i see my friends at school or even just do something that makes me think abt them like “oh. last time I went to the mall it was with them” and stuff. made a post on like November 30 I think abt just… this month and how. huh. the 8th was supposed to be our one year anniversary of being friends, which we only tracked because of when our discord server was made but. I deleted that and now im not even in the friend group and I wonder what they’re doing . overall yeah this still isn’t great and I know I can’t fix it but it hasn’t been weighing on me too heavily anymore

rlly other than that my problems consist of very small things regarding fandoms lmao but thank you 🩵

[agetwellcard]

i’m so fucking depressed and unwell i’ve been applying to jobs for months and have only gotten rejections. i got an interview for a job i really wanted and was working really hard to prep and was feeling like maybe it was finally my break but nope they just canceled the interview!! i’ve literally been applying to receptionist or other entry level jobs that don’t need a college education (and i have a four year degree!!! it’s just useless bc i was a dumb kid when I picked it!!!!!) and i feel so devastated and so stupid. i can’t even get entry level jobs!!!! i have been avoiding retail bc I really don’t want to do that now i’ve graduated college but i guess that’s all i’m really worth!! i literally have 15k in college debt but i’m so happy it was a huge fucking waste of money. and on top of this i am mentally the most unstable i’ve ever been and have constantly been thinking about how i always want to die and i have no creative outlets like i used to have bc I have no creativity bc I’m so sad and i literally cry when i look into mirrors bc i hate how i look and then today i found out both of my cats are sick but the vets are being fucking ridiculous and making it so fucking hard to get the meds that i’m looking at $100 just for this but i have to take one of my cats for bloodwork too which will probably cost another $100!!!!!!!! i am just so tired and so sick of trying and i have no friends rn bc my closest friend doesn’t even message me back anymore and it’s not like I’ve made any friends in my city bc i haven’t been able to find a job to even interact with anyone !!!!!!!!

[angelicsera]

“It won’t be like this forever, it’s only temporary” don’t piss me off. Don’t piss me off don’t piss me off don’t piss me off don’t piss me off don’t piss me offf don’t piss me offffffffffff pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee. I was bound to be like this since day ONE. My mother fucking hates me, my dad barely does ANYTHING, my siblings are all just as fucking unwell in their own rights. I have been raped since before I could fully form sentences, I dated a pedophile for years because I fucking wanted someone there for me, I’ve been forced to harm other people and animals, I can’t fucking do this anymore. I’ve had no healthy relationship and then when I finally got into one, we have barely been able to talk. I miss him so much. I wish I could just kill myself. He’s one of the only reasons why I haven’t, because I don’t have the heart to leave him without telling him. That would make me worse of a girlfriend than I already fucking am, and I don’t even know how that’s possible. I feel so many things at once, I don’t understand. I can be fine one minute and spiraling the next. It makes me feel like I’m lying about my emotions. How the fuck could I be doing so bad one minute and then be fine the next. It can’t be that bad then, it just doesn’t make sense. Oh my God and also my little brother. I KNOW he isn’t fucking doing well, it’s so blatantly obvious, but he’s just like me. He will NOT take help. He’s so fucking stuck in his ways, but he insists on trying to help others (occasionally). It’s not going to help him. I think he’s also at the point where he believes it’ll never get better for him. It isn’t TRUE UGHHHHHHHHH. He needs to get better habits and leave what he’s doing rn. I know it’s easy to be attached to those things, but it is no good for him. If I sit down and talk with him about it, it’ll just be “Okay.” or “I’m fine.” God DAMN, Zero. WHY WON’T YOU LET ME FUCKING HELP YOU. He’s one of the only good things I even have in my life right now, and it’s eating me alive seeing him in a bad state. If it KILLS ME I will help that kid. I don’t even know. I think this post was just me rambling. Oh, and then there is Otto and my brother. I’m happy for them, I don’t know what to say. It’s strange seeing two people who I am (was?) extremely close with also start getting close to each other…I’m not jealous. It wasn’t healthy how I felt about Otto. It was obsessive, and I know that. I didn’t like it, and I still don’t. I think I’m getting better. No I’m not, I threatened to stab him yesterday. OH MY fucking GOD I NEED TO SHUT UP OR JUST KILL MYSELF. Im still better now, I think. It doesn’t hurt as much thinking about him and going long periods not talking with him. #healing!!!!!! But at the same time, it’s like the thought is always nagging me. Maybe this is the schizophrenia…I hallucinate stuff related to him a lot, I’ve attempted multiple times over this. That’s okay though, I’ll always have love for him. His happiness is just as important as mine, and if he’s happy with my brother, then that’s what matters. He’s still in my life that way, yeah….Yeah!!!!! Oh em gee!! So smart, Sera.’so fucking smart. I didn’t do my school work. Oopsie daises. Oh well. Oh well!!!! KODA. HIM HIM HIM. So many things to say!!! So much!!! Koda, sleep with one eye open! Don’t sleep at all actually! I never forget! I don’t EVER forget, actually! Remember that I always remember! Much love!

Moral of the post; it’ll never get better for me.

[vxnted]

my mood was great the first few days of my period but now i feel shit :/ my body has been dealing with both my period and a sickness at the same time and i’m physically worn out. i can’t do things i would usually do to help me feel happier because i have no energy. my room is messy and i really can’t do much other than stay on my phone because of the pain and anaemia i have rn. i feel so disorganised and shit. i took my bins out and that made me nearly pass out. i just don’t wanna feel sick anymore :( i want my energy back. i’m already behind on the small workload i was given this week because of how unwell ive been. i wanna cry

[onlyjaeyun]

hi my love i’m back again🫣🫣🫣

can’t even say hoon is insane to turn to tumblr to rant because i literally have a blog to write word dumps about jongseong in private 😔😔😔😔 he’s literally so me!!

now i’m not even irritated at hoon anymore BECAUSE AT LEAST HES ACKNOWLEDGING HIS (purely sexual or so he thinks) FEELINGS!!! miss y/n !!!! no matter how nice he is pls do not stick to a man who cannot make u cum .

all the hoon bicep pics in the au r making me swoon. i srsly dk what happened between taipei and singapore because i SWEAR they were not that big when i saw him in taipei and then he went live in singapore n my jaw dropped to the floor it was so insane. and i just know cold hearts hoon will be cocky af about his arms (pls choke me - i have never said shit like this in my life)

- 🐈‍⬛

MY BABY IS BACK!!!! i hope you're doing well baby, sending you the biggest kiss rn🥺💗

CH!hoon is one of us bc we all had or have a blog to rant at one point in our lives he's ONE OF THE GIRLS!!!!!

AND YOU TELL HER!!! fuma's a dream..for any other girl but pls baby just go get cunthoon to do the job you deserve to cum without having to do anything for it 🤕

PLS DONT MENTION HIS BICEPS ANYMORE IM SO PHYSICALLY UNWELL I CANT EVEN...WHORE- HES A WHORE THERE I SAID IT AND I WANT HIM TO PUT ME IN A CHOKEHOLD 🤕

[jeongwife]

PLS SHARE YOUR SPECIFIC CHAN SCENARIO OMG

i’ve always wanted to write a fic about this particular scenario, maybe i will when i have more time from school (and if you guys would want to read it ahjsha) but until then this will have to do ;-; this is a longer one besties bc i am down bad <3

what i have in mind is some kind of uni/college au, where you’re staying over at chan’s place and you may or may not have chosen to wear a short skirt in hopes he’d lose it and rail you (though let’s be honest he’d do that no matter what you wear 🧎🏻‍♀️). you’re watching a movie together and it’s just the two of you in the dark apartment with only the tv screen illuminating the room, his roommates having gone out for the night. eventually chan gets distracted by your shifting bc your skirt rides further and further up your thighs, and he grips your bare thigh and asks with gritted teeth what you’re doing. you feign surprise, saying you’re just trying to get comfortable while batting your lashes at him innocently.

he tugs you onto his lap, sitting you right on top of the tent forming in his sweatpants as he kisses you roughly, using his tongue to part your lips so he can taste you. in between kisses he murmurs things like, “do you feel how hard you make me, baby? only you get me like this,” before sliding his hands under your thighs to pull you further onto his lap; you can’t help but moan into chan’s mouth at the feeling of your core pressing right against his cock, and you start instinctively grinding down on him for friction while pawing at his t-shirt to let him know you want it off. he merely chuckles at your neediness, kissing down your neck as one of his hands trails down your body to your pussy, using his thumb to gently rub circles on your clit through your panties and feeling your arousal soak through the thin lace. “you’re already so wet, baby. is this all for me?” he asks, smirking against your skin when you rock your hips into his with more force, already reduced to a babbling mess as you whine about how much you need him in you now.

he’d tease you endlessly while sucking marks onto your neck to let everyone know who’s making you feel good, the movie long forgotten in the background. “you want it here? my dirty girl wants me to fuck her right here on the couch? wants my roommates to walk in on her cumming on my cock like a little slut?” you’d flush at the thought of the others coming home and catching you in the act at any moment, practically trembling in chan’s lap from arousal as he pulls your panties to the side and pushes his middle finger into you. he grins at how your juices coat it immediately and curls it up to stroke against your g-spot, causing you to collapse into his broad chest and whimper into his shoulder as you feel your orgasm approaching, only to let out a disappointed whine when chan pulls his finger out of you before you can cum.

he smirks, staring into your eyes directly with his lustful gaze as he pushes his finger into your mouth instead, letting you clean your juices off his digit and praising you for being a good girl once you’re done. he tugs your panties back into place and smooths your skirt back down your thighs, laughing quietly when you make a small noise of confusion. “let’s go to my room, baby, and i’ll give you what you want,” he says while picking you up, hands guiding your legs to wrap around his waist as he carries you to his bedroom, where he proceeds to toss you onto his bed and rail you for hours until you can’t cum anymore🧎🏻‍♀️

when i tell you this scenario has been on my mind for MONTHS 🧎🏻‍♀️ i’m glad we talked about this now <3

— admin lily who is extremely unwell rn

[jeonqkooks]

not to be that bitch but :/

i can’t believe i’m ranting again. it’s probably bc i got my period this morning and my back hurts and my stomach hurts and i want to cry and die and i feel like i have no strength to carry on at all and it’s just a pile of shit at this point.

it’s now less than 2 weeks away from my thesis deadline and i genuinely want everything to just fucking stop so i can breathe for a goddamn second or else i’m gonna burst bc everything is so tiring and you’re probably tired of me making this my entire personality for the past couple of weeks but i am honestly so exhausted and unwell physically and mentally, it feels like i’m gonna snap any second now. i’ve never felt this much stress in my entire life like everything is just looming over me like a black cloud following me wherever i go and it feels like no one gets it and i’m just- idek anymore

god the weight that’s just sitting on my chest is so suffocating and overwhelming and how am i supposed to do this when there’s so much shit happening. i woke up this morning to the news of roe v. wade possibly being overturned and i’ve been wanting to cry ever since but i can’t bc it’s gonna drain me of whatever energy i have left for this thesis and so i’ve just been holding it in which is equally as draining. literally brought up the issue of extending my studies by a few months so i can have more time w the thesis and not want to die and my family already yelled at me and told me to just get it tf over with lol as if i don’t want to just be done w everything. i wasn’t gonna extend anyway since there’s only 13 freaking days left i’m just gonna somehow suck it up and soldier on but haha they could’ve asked me why or if i’m stressed or whatever but i guess not lmao okay

i can’t believe my friend had to (jokingly but not really) tell me yesterday that she hopes i don’t k word myself before my deadline bc it looks like i was gathering a lot of willpower not to do that and honestly that’s never been more true than rn lol :///

to anyone who’s actually reading this, sorry if i’m annoying with all the lol’s and lmao’s that’s just my coping mechanism lol i need to schedule a good cry in the middle of the night or else i will honestly combust

[pannyacottafugo]

sick ?? headcanons ?? idk anymore tbh

help cause i’m sick rn and rly bored so i wrote a full essay cause this just came to mind 😭

// no description of anything gross but mentions of being sick

- bruno probably gets the worst allergies (not allergic to anything, but his sinuses act up during cold/hay fever season). he’ll show up to work anyway and just deny that anything’s wrong. trying to talk to clients and just sneezing every minute type thing.

it’s never anything too bad, and he never really gets very bed-ridden sick. normally if he is, he just stays home and recovers kind of quickly. if he needs help, he calls abbacchio to bring him stuff and to drive him to the doctor.

- fugo also probably gets allergies and is the type to wear a mask when hes got a cold. i hc him as slightly germophobic (cause of purple haze) so when he’s got allergies he carries hand sanitiser with him and stuff.

when he’s actually proper sick, he refuses to admit it and is all “it’s just allergies it’s nothing” and will be like this until someone physically takes him home and puts him to bed. he gets sick the most out of anyone and absolutely hates it. he doesn’t let anyone look after him, but bruno or giorno will try to bring him stuff anyway, and narancia will come to visit him (which is honestly not the best for fugo because he gets restless and tries to play games with him while fugos just lying there trying not to die).

- fugo, abbacchio, and giorno all hate the doctors. they will deny that they do, but when they’re sick they will refuse to go. narancia doesn’t like going either, but can be convinced if a reward is involved.

- mista literally never gets sick. no one has ever seen him sick before. the entire gang will have a cold, and mista somehow won’t catch it. one time they all caught food poisoning, and mista literally caught nothing. no one knows why. every time trish gets sick she complains how she’s sick but “mista showers once a week yet he’s never even gotten a runny nose”. it does mean that if everyone else is sick, mista has to be the one to look after them. he’s slightly hopeless at it though, and gets bored easily cause no one can hang out with him.

- giorno doesn’t get sick very often and even when he does, no one sees him when he’s sick. he’ll call in sick, lock himself away, and then reappear completely fine. he recovers pretty fast and doesn’t normally get anything too serious. if he does, fugo and mista will normally look after him, even if giorno rejects. but fugo’s cautious not to get too close cause he doesn’t want to catch it either. normally he’ll just bring him stuff and check on him to see if he’s okay. mista will sometimes sit with him to keep him company, although, even though he doesn’t mind, giorno normally prefers being alone when he’s not feeling well.

- abbacchio doesn’t get sick that often either, but will normally just show up at work and then get sent home by bruno, which he doesn’t really mind. he recovers pretty quick as well. if it’s serious bruno will normally be the one to look after him, and even though he’ll constantly be like “i’m fine i don’t need anything” he enjoys being cared for. he refuses to go to the doctor though when there’s something actually wrong. he just pretends like it’s nothing until bruno tricks him into going into a drive and they end up at the doctors. it’s partly because he can’t be bothered, but also cause he figures “what i don’t know can’t hurt me” and just denies anything’s wrong.

- narancia doesn’t deny that he’s sick, he just doesn’t care. normally fugo or bruno have to take him home cause he’ll show up with a cold or if it’s bad, he’ll show up and not know why he’s really unwell but just try to brush it off. he actually doesn’t mind being sick cause he just stays at home and plays games or something. fugo will look after him and bring him medicine/food etc. and clean up for him, but mista will hang out with narancia. he gets restless cause he doesn’t like being stuck at home for too long, and fugo can’t hang around cause he’ll get sick too, so mista will spend time with him, otherwise he’ll literally just leave the house and find something to do. narancia also makes fun of fugos weak immune system but i feel like he has an allergy to something rly random like pineapple or something lmao.

- trish is kind of normal when it comes to being sick, like she doesn’t get sick often, just a normal amount. she hates it though because it’s kind of gross, and gets embarrassed to tell people / have people see her sick. she’ll tell the others she’s busy and then stay home until she feels better.

when she’s really unwell though, she needs someone to buy her medicine and look after her but she really doesn’t want everyone to know, so she’ll call narancia cause she’s the least embarrassed if he knows. but he’ll be no help cause he’ll just want to mess around, and will probably bring mista to come hang out with them, and trish will push them out the door. so then she’ll ask giorno, except he doesn’t really know what to do, so he brings fugo with him. trish is not happy about that, but ends up being really grateful because fugo is sick often and so knows what to do and him and giorno end up looking after her. at some point bruno asks narancia if he knows where trish is, and he tells her she’s sick at home. he’ll probably visit her uninvited at some point to make sure she’s okay, and she is mortified cause she doesn’t want him seeing her looking unwell. so when trish shows up to see everyone again, everyone’s like “hope you’re feeling better” and abbacchio is just sitting there like “did i miss something ???”

[cognacdelights]

hiii bestie! i haven’t read the new chapter yet but as soon as i do will give u some feedback xx

how’re things going with the new boy?? i fully get you, relationships can be so hard to navigate but i think you have the right idea to just see how it goes bc it will just come naturally as things progress if that’s where it’s going, and otherwise no harm in just having fun?? idk if that’s good advice hahahaha i’m sorry

but ya i’m definitely staying away from wine for a while regardless 🥲 idk if it was the wine or just drinking more afterwards and getting too drunk but god i haven’t had hangover anxiety in so long and that was not fun at all lmao

got my booster the other day because i’m getting stressed, we’re getting like 3000 cases a day now its fucking everywhere ☹️ in the past 21 days we’ve had like 20k cases. and yeah i just can’t believe this is still how things are and it all began in 2020 like what the actual fuck, nz is in the worst place rn since the whole thing started like it isn’t getting better. i genuinely can’t be bothered with life atm like nothing is exciting i can’t even be fucked talking to people half the time (this is a mix of everything not covid) but just ughhhh shit sucks hahaha

glad to know things haven’t just gotten so expensive here and it’s a worldwide thing i guess 🥴 they’ve just raised minimum wage now as well which means everything is going to go up even more lollll but hope you’re doing well!! got any weekend plans?

#💛

hi bestie 💛 it’s okay!

ok so we haven’t spoken much in the last week bc i’ve been so unwell and then the last couple of days i’ve been so busy that by the time i get to sit down i’m exhausted so idk if i’m feeling better or just not feeling the sickness bc i’m so tired but in the messages that we have sent, we’ve kind of arranged to go on a date? it’s super chill to an arcade place but i go away for 10 nights in less than a week and by the time i get back it will be too late that weekend to go and i’ll be exhausted from travelling and then the week after that is my graduation so it will probably be some time in april when I get to see him? but yeah things are super chill right now

omg hangover anxiety is the worst!

ok so were you unwell with your booster too? or was it just me? but i agree! it’s two nearly three years into this whole thing and it feels like we’re nowhere near the end? even though all restrictions are lifted here i still feel weird not wearing a mask or going within 2 metres of someone.

also i’m sorry bestie :( i’m always here if you want to talk about things!

so ever since russia invades ukraine our petrol prices have been going up, it’s now like £1.60 p/l and they’re saying it could get up to anywhere between £1.80-£2 p/l which is ridiculous i genuinely just can’t afford to live anymore

[gilbert-blythe-ruined-my-life]

Anna watches S03xE06 for the first time (warning: spoilers!)

OKAY GUYS HERE WE GO.

Tbh, I’m not expecting much Shirbert fluff/romance. 

We were fed so much last episode that there’s no way they’re gonna dance together.

However?

Angst?

Jealous Anne?

YES, I EXPECT BOTH.

I also want Dianne and Matthew’s radish winning.

LET’S GO, GO, GO!

I’M SO NERVOUS I FEEL UNWELL.

YIKES. THE EP DESCRIPTION SAYS THERE WILL BE HEARTBREAK. I FEEL SICK.

I BET ANNE’S HEART’S GONNA BREAK.

MY POOR BABY.

I SAID I WANTED JEALOUS ANNE NOT HEARTBROKEN ANNE.

This intro is something else.

That’s one fat pig.

GUYS I’M SO NERVOUS.

I’M HAVING TO SKIP THE INTRO AND I NEVER SKIP THE INTRO.

OH NO ANNE HAS A COLD.

GUYS, Anne’s making one of Mary’s cakes! Somebody predicted this!!

LOOK AT THOSE RADISHES.

MATTHEW HAS TO WIN.

Look how proud he is, guys!!

‘Zat is ze biggest radish I have ever seen!’

DON’T TELL ME GILBERT’S GETTING DRESSED FOR WINNIE I WILL FLIP A DESK.

EWEWEWEWEWEWEEW.

NO.

A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION WITH WINIFRED’S PARENTS.

NOOOOOOO.

EW.

THIS IS THE WORST.

NOW HE WANTS TO MARRY HER EW.

Never thought I’d be so happy to see Josie Pye in my life!!

Yes Shirbert!!

ANNE WANTS TO LOOK PRETTY FOR GILBERT I CRY.

‘Gilbert needs cufflinks!’

GUYS I’M NOT READY TO SEE HEARTBROKEN ANNE.

YES MY DIANNE CONTENT!!

‘Since when do you care what Gilbert Blythe thinks?’

OH BOY. GUYS IT’S HAPPENING.

‘He looked like he just galloped out of the pages of a novel’

GUYS IS THIS REAL.

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING.

‘What a splendid chin he has’

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. QUOTING THE BOOK.

SO ANNE TOLD DIANA ABOUT WHAT COLE SAID.

GUYS ANNE’S GOING TO BE CRUSHED. I’M GONNA CRY.

I DON’T WANT TO WATCH ANYMORE.

GUYS.

GUYS.

GUYS.

‘I was Elizabeth Bennett dancing with Mr darcy’

GUYS.

GUYS.

GUYS.

GUYS.

GUYS.

GUYS.

GUYS.

THE P &P PARALLELS WERE INTENTIONAL.

I AM GOING TO SCREAM.

GUYS I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL.

‘Do you have a crush on Gilbert?’

GUYS THIS IS A FANFICTION.

I CAN’T BELIEVE ANNE’S REALISING HOW SHE FEELS FIRST.

I CAN’T.

TBH IDK HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS.

JUST BECAUSE IT CHANGES SUCH A PIVOTAL DYNAMIC.

IDK.

Matthew getting ready is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, everyone else can just go home.

GUYS I’M NOT READY FOR HEARTBROKEN ANNE.

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

THE SCENE OF THE TWO TOGETHER FROM THE PROMO, ANNE IS ABOUT TO CONFESS.

THEN SHE’LL SEE GIL AND WINNIE TOGETHER

GUYS, MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS.

I WANTED JEALOUS ANNE.

NOT HEARTBROKEN ANNE.

NOW SHE’S DOING “He loves me, he loves me not”

GUYS I CAN’T TAKE THIS.

I CAN’T.

‘I hope he doesn’t love me’ I KNOW SHE DOESN’T MEAN IT, BUT I HOPE THIS WILL SOFTEN THE HEARTBREAK WHEN SHE SEES GIL AND WINNIE.

BABY DELLY AHHHHH.

‘Can’t cook? Sorry, I thought we were listing different things’ THANKS FOR ROASTING GILBERT, BASH.

Ah! Ka’kwet’s baby brother and sister! Save Ka’kwet already I want to SCREAM.

Forget Shirbert. Matthew and his radish are now my OTP.

UGH NO. THIS FORTUNE TELLER IS GONNA TELL ANNE TO RISK IT ALL.

‘Tall, dark, very handsome and good dancer’ I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN.

‘Say that again?’ ANNE I’M SCREAMING.

THE BAYNARDS. 

DIANA AND JERRY AND THE HANKERCHIEF. THEY’RE SO CUTE IT’S CRIMINAL.

‘Maybe he’s my destiny’

Okay, look. I’m not pleased. This is too much of a change. Idk. I KNOW that Anne doesn’t forgive Gilbert for the carrots thing until after Matthew dies, I know they’ve changed everything, BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH OF A CHANGE. I’M SORRY. IT’S TOO MUCH.

COME AT ME.

BOO ME.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

HEARTBROKEN ANNE IS A MILLION TIMES WORSE THAN I IMAGINED.

I WANT TO CRY.

Rachel’s character development! Though I’m still mad about her whole thing with Bash. I’m so glad her and Miss Stacey are friends.

EW BILLY.

Yay, Andrews sisters content!!!!!!

YES PRISSY.

YOU DON’T NEED A MAN.

HAHA BILLY CAN’T GET THE BELL.

OH YES.

JERRY IS GONNA HIT IT.

YES, YES, YES, YES, YES.

MINNIE MAY IS TAKING ALL THE PRIZES I’M CRYING.

Jerry is gonna give Diana his prize!!!!

‘I won this for you...’

OH MY HEART. CAN THEY GET ANY CUTER?????

‘May I give you a kiss?’

WHAT.

WHAAAAAAAAT.

WHAT.

HE WENT TO KISS DIANA’S HAND.

AND SHE KISSED HIM.

ON THE MOUTH.

THE BOLDNESS JUMPED OUT.

DIANA BARRY, YOU ARE THE BOLDEST GIRL IN AVONLEA.

ANNE’S LINING BACK UP TO CONFRONT THE FORTUNE TELLER. I HAVE TO LAUGH.

I LOVE WINNIE’S DAD. 

‘YOU SAID HE WAS MY TRUE LOVE!’ I’M SCREAMING.

‘My true love walking arm in arm with another girl!’ OKAY GUYS. I CANNOT. 

‘Do you spell it with or without an E?’ 

I’M HAPPY ANNE’S BEING NICE.

I HOPE THEY LIKE THE CAKE.

OH NO THEY HATE IT.

IMA CRY.

I’M GOING TO SKIP THIS PART.

IT WAS THE VANILLA.

I BET IT WAS.

TIME TO SKIP.

THE SHIRBERT MOMENT.

AH THIS IS SO AWKWARD.

MATTHEW’S RADISH WON MOST UNUSUAL.

THEY’RE GOING UP IN A HOT AIR BALLOON. I CAN’T.

UGH I’M GONNA CRY. WHAT A CHANGE FROM LAST EP.

RUBY DOESN’T EVEN CARE ABOUT WINIFRED. I HAVE TO LAUGH.

RUBY AND MOODY.

EW BILLY AND JOSIE ARE GROSS.

NOT EVEN JOSIE DESERVES SOMEONE LIKE THAT.

HE’S GONNA PROPOSE. EW.

Nobody deserves to spend the rest of their life with Billy tbh.

‘All I need is your pretty face’.

EW. Billy is so sleazy.

OH NO.

OH NO.

OH NO.

OH NO.

WHAT.

GET AWAY.

NO.

 EW.

STOP.

NO.

HE ASSAULTED HER.

I’M SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

I’M SHAKING.

I’M SHAKING.

NO.

NOW HE’S TELLING PEOPLE.

THE CREEP.

I HATE HIM.

I HATE HIM SO MUCH.

POOR JOSIE.

NOBODY DESERVES THAT.

I’M DISGUSTED.

Guys all my predictions from this episode came true! Anne’s now accepting Charlie.

I’m still so angry.

I don’t have words.

I have never hated Billy more.

I’M SO ANGRY.

YES ANNE.

I WANT TO HIT BILLY.

GILBERT’S SO ANNOYING UGH.

WELL THAT EPISODE.

I DON’T EVEN HAVE WORDS.

I’M STILL SHAKING I’M SO UPSET.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #236

“so i asked you once, and i ask you again: where do your roots start, and where do your roots end?”

Do you wear a ring on your finger? Yeah, a Supernatural reference best friend one. Do you listen to your friends’ advice when they give it to you? I mean, it depends on the kind of advice and the seriousness of the issue. I'd say in most cases, yes. What’re you listening to right now? "Angel Eyes" by New Years Day ft. Chris Motionless. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It has been, twice. I don't think I'll do it again because my glasses are just in the way and they come out and get lost too easily. Is your last ex still someone you care about and do you still have romantic feelings for your ex? Yes to both. My feelings towards her haven't changed at all, we just made a heavily-discussed, hard, but wise decision for the time being. Are you someone’s best friend? Sara. What’s the biggest annoyance in your life right now? Annoyance, ummm... oh, easy. Being poor as dirt. That's only slightly under my skin, y'know? Have you spoken to your mother today? Yeah, I live with her. When was the last time you cried and why? PTSD. It's started to become relevant again, jOY to THe WOrlD!!!!!1!!!1!!!!! Is there someone who makes you instantly smile when you receive a message from them? I mean I don't always smile, but I consistently do get excited. If someone loved you right now, would you want them to tell you? *confused screaming* Do you like to cuddle? If I'm seriously romantically into you, yes. Is any part of you sad at all? I think that's always going to be a thing for me, somewhere down in there. Do you like seafood? Only shrimp, and even that I don't like in some forms. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Does more than one person like you? Idk. Do you ever worry that people might be talking about you behind your back? Always. Fuck, I think Sara's the only person I can count on to never. Do you call your partner ‘baby’? I hated it and never used it 'til Sara. I eventually did, and somehow, it felt okay and not disrespectful??? Idk if I'll use it again. What's the most boring guy’s name out there? Like, "Bob" or something. Do you know how to play Mahjong? Nope. Ever had a promise ring? No. What’s the biggest turn off in the opposite sex? Send me a dick pic and I will actually KICK you in the dick. Fun fact, even though I'm still bi, visually, penises gross me the fuck out and so I'd rather see someone's as little as possible, m'kay? Doing that is like a surefire way for me to decide "oh no bye boy." How often do you catch yourself daydreaming? A whole lot. This time last year, were you single? No. Who is someone you’ll always hate? The doctor that put me on a medication that put around 100 pounds on me and blamed it aaaaaall on me. :^) Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yeah, just spelled differently. Who knows your biggest secret(s)? Sara. Do you ever read the threads on r/AskReddit? No. Are you currently stressed out about anything? You have no fucking idea. What’s your Instagram @? brittanymphotography or eldritch_obscura, depending on what kind of photography you're into. Don't have a personal one. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are you in love with anyone at the moment? It's so complicated. I think, but I also question the "in" love part. That and just "loving" are different to me. I want her, I want Jason, and here I am strictly monogamous. I barely understand what I feel romantically rn. If a friend called you to help hide a body, would you help or turn them in? UM fuck that I'm calling the cops. Have you ever had a crush on someone that, now as you look back, is completely embarrassing? Not really. How would you react if a friend started dating your ex? When "ex" is used singularly, I always assume you want The Ex. So, regardless of friend, that'd feel weird, but with certain people/levels of friendship, less so than others. If you were in an emergency, which friend would you call first? So not family? Uhhh, I don't know. It depends on the kind of emergency. Ever kissed someone who wasn’t single? No. Other than that "someone who wasn't single" being my partner. Are you single? if no who are you dating and for how long? Not right now, no. What kind of music do you listen to? Tons of different forms of metal, rock, indie, and I'm even into some electro stuff now. Do you have any YouTube videos of yourself? Thank the merciful lord, not anymore. What’s your fave YouTube video? BIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHH the one featuring Dark in A Heist With Markiplier. I am not exaggerating my love of White Suit Dark. Use three words that best describe your best friend: Passionate, loyal, and resilient as a motherfucker. Now use three that best describe you: Also passionate, empathetic, and caring. List three things that describe your crush/love: Look I love someone but am also preoccupied with the idea of Jason coming back to me. It's not a "crush," it's being in love with a memory. I don't have a clue how to answer this rn. Is there someone in the family that no one really talks to? As far as extended family goes, yeah. Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? N/A What is the game you’re currently playing most often on your phone? None; I have no games on it because my phone has incredibly small memory. Same. Are you close to someone who is mentally unwell? Well, define "unwell." I have a load of friends and family with mental disorders, but calling them "mentally unwell" seems too severe. Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? Adopt, dude. There are so, SO many cats and dogs and I'm sure more that need a home, but you'd rather pay hundreds for a dog with likely some sort of health problem from extreme breeding than adopt an animal for a far cheaper price that ALREADY needs a family? Come on, now. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? I read Ozzy's autobiography. Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? ???????????? no????????????? What name would you pick for yourself? Probably "Zoey." Do you enjoy going to live shows? Do concerts count? 'Cuz yeah. Who do you spend the most time with? My mom, I guess? She's the only one I live with, but she's like, never home because she works more than she breathes. What color do you wish your hair was? Natural hair, blonde. So much easier to dye, jc. Does any of the jewelry you wear have sentimental significance? The ring mentioned earlier, as well as the bracelet Sara also gave me. Who is your favorite drummer? Eh, no op Do you find musicians attractive? This is a dumb question... It depends on the musician??? If you could get any piercing, what would it be? I want a microdermal below/near the outer corner of my eye NOW. But I have glasses so it would totally ruin the purpose, ugh. Do you scream, yell, jump around and dance at shows or do you stand still? Just cheer, really. I wouldn't call it "screaming." I guess I can yell, too? Have you ever lost your voice from screaming so much? "No. I’ve had a sore throat." <<<< This. What’s your favorite color on the person you have feelings for? Both Sara and Jason, as well as like anyone, I love wearing black. Actually, Sara is super cute in light colors, like baby pink. Ugh talking about them at the same time feels fuckin weird. Who’s your favorite horror monster/killer? Alright, let's just say like, the "traditional" guys. I suppose Jason? His silence, totally casual pursuit, and mask creep me out, man. What kind of music do you prefer to listen to when driving? When I myself am driving, I don't want music on. I can't concentrate. Are you willing to board airplanes? I've gone up to see Sara like... three times within two years, I think? They don't scare me too much. I don't like takeoff, though. Too rocky and dizzying. Do looks really matter to you when it comes to friendship? ??????????? what?????????? the fuck??????????????? Do you accept friend requests from people you don’t know? Nope. I have to not only know you, but care more about you than like the average acquaintance of whatever. What is one of your best talents? Writing, I guess? Are/were you a rebellious youth or angsty teen? ha ha oh BOY Do you put your change in a jar for savings? No. How do you feel about transvestites? BITCH y'all great. I love you. Fuckin ROCK YA SHIT. Do you know anyone with a land line at their house? Yes, actually. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Certain kinds of daydreams. Have you been in a fist fight with someone you didn’t want to fight? I've never had a physical fight. Has anyone ever convinced you to do something you didn’t want to? Sure. Usually for my own benefit/growth, though. Are you a sensitive person? Yeah, quite a bit. Do you enjoy writing? Yep. Are you a germ-o-phobe? YEAH. Would you ever own a hairless rat, cat or dog? I would TOTALLY have a sphynx. There's this one breed of dog too and is furless on most places but does have some furry areas and are so ugly they're cute, and I once almost did adopt a hairless rat. So there's your answer. Do you prefer big, fluffy towels or normal sized/smaller towels? BIG FLUFF What is the image on your beach towel? Don't have one of those. Are you good with making eye contact? NO. I never know how long to maintain it and overthink it HEAVILY. I avoid it most of the time. What is your favorite book that was turned into a movie? Probably The Outsiders. I thought it did the book great justice. Do you like the movie or the book better? I don't remember either well enough. Do you watch porn? No. I don't want to watch some strangers bang each other. It's in no way arousing to me. What’s your favorite flavor of applesauce, if any? I guess just normal? Do you go to a firework show every 4th of July? Nah. Are you diabetic? No. Are you allergic to gluten? No. I don't think I'd survive. Are you lactose intolerant? No. Do you live with your parents? Just my mom. Parents are divorced and Mom had full custody, and my two sisters are proper adults that can survive without their mommy. :^) How much experience do you have written down on your resume, approximately? NOT A LOT!!!!!!!! I only count like, one damn job that was valid/lasted a couple months, but only because I very rarely worked. I also only include my previous online college, and should I create a resume now, obviously the one I currently attend. What’s your favorite song to dance to? I do not dance, my friend. What do you think of your parents? Both of them are great. Mom is the reason I'm (in the big picture) healthy, even alive. I WOULD be dead, died a long time ago, if it was not for that woman. Saved my life again and again and again, been there for me through both the same old shit and new madness. I'mma stop here before I actually cry just thinking about how thankful I am for her. Dad, too, I love, and I aspire to be as positive as he seems nowadays. His loyalty to my sisters and me, especially after the shit I've said, is incredible. He doesn't take a lot too seriously, and that's nice, especially when you're having a hard time. He's an optimistic guy now that always makes an effort to cheer you up. He's a total goof, too. He's just fun to be around. What do you think makes you attractive to other people? HA, fuck if I know. I guess my vertical lip labret stands out? Everyone I've dated since having it has at some point pointed out that that's like, my trademark that makes me recognizable right off the bat and that it looks good on me. One of the few things I even like on myself. Would more money make you happier? Look me right in the fucking eye and answer "no" to this. What is one of your favorite memories as a child? Watching my older sister play demo discs' video games after waking up. It's something so simple, but idk, I love remembering that. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Probably red velvet, like gd that shit good. Who is your favorite sports team? Idc. Like I have a natural fondness towards the Carolina Hurricanes 'cuz they're Dad's favorite and we've gone to some games together, but I really don't care. Who would you like to get to know better? I have this high school acquaintance named Courtlynn on my Facebook that seems so cool and relatable. She seems to like me too (not romantically, but she's really supportive, hearts like everything, comments the sweetest stuff sometimes, all that), I just think both of us are shy to reach out. What is the strangest food you ever ate? "I don’t eat anything I consider strange. I’m so picky and basic." <<<< Big 'ole fat same. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? I exclusively only eat pork fried rice and/or egg rolls. Are you an organ donor? YES!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE BE ONE!!!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T NEED THEM ONCE UR DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!! THE LIVING DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE SOME LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s your favorite candle scent? FRESH BAKED BREAD MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? Check for identification and call if a number is given, offer it food and water, put a notification up on Facebook about a lost pet... all that stuff. We'd try to avoid a shelter, probably, because yeah. Euthanization is a thing. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? I am the one with the tongue piercing lmao. No. Is it easy for someone to make you cry? OH YES, QUITE. How many children can you see yourself having? IF I had kids, IF, I could not possibly imagine myself with more than two. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? SILENT HILL FUCK MAN I LOVE THAT SHIT. Are you competitive? Not really. Depends. Black and white or colored photos? It very much depends. Composition, lighting, content, all that contributes to what I find more aesthetically pleasing. Do you prefer to date younger, older, or the same age as you? Preferably around my age. What’s something from the past that you don’t miss at all? Being a depressed mess every waking moment of my life. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you wash your hair every day? No, every day is bad for your hair. Do you have trouble sticking to promises? Definitely not. I'm good at that. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Very briefly. She thought she was ready, but not quite. What kind of headphones do you have? Right now they're literally just flimsy hot pink earplugs from a dollar store lmao. How often do you go to parties? Never. Do you sleep in awkward positions? I don't think so. Do you experiment a lot with new looks on yourself? Not really. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Don't touch my tits with, like, anything. Do you ever quote your favorite movie in normal conversations? No? Do people ever tell you that you look stoned when you’re not? No. Do you suffer from anxiety or depression? *shrugs* why not both? Do hospitals freak you out? To a degree. Been there enough times to both get semi-used to it, but it also agitates old wounds and makes me antsy to get out. What about cemeteries at night? I've never experienced this, so I can't say. But the idea doesn't really creep me out, no. What is your favorite Nintendo 64 game? I never had one. Were you mean as a little kid? Nah, I was a good kid actually.

[stimulateyoursenses]

It's 2019. My mom is dying. I spend all day cleaning up her shit and piss. All day. I spend all day hearing her in pain. I spend all day having panic attacks in the bathroom because I dont know if today is going to be the day another bone breaks just because they are so damn fragile. I cry and wonder If today is going to be the day everything goes downhill. Because it will only go downhill from here. Mom has started talking about not wanting to live like this anymore, a topic she has never brought up before. She's been throwing up again, aspirating frequently. Blood pressure through the roof. She says everything hurts. And I just sit there and watch her suffer. Every day. My best friend.

I've made a few posts on her about my mental health but I am usually vague as I dont want to scare anyone or trigger anyone. My mental health has been destroyed and no longer exists. I don't have any friends IRL. I don't have many friends online anymore. Everyone is busy, depressed, a million miles away, or just doesn't want to deal with me.

I don't have a job, haven't had one in a year and so I am P E N N I L E S S. I am in DEBT. It's gotten to the point that I have to mentally detach myself from any and all my desires because It's excruciating not having anything to live for, nothing to motive, or spark a drive in me. That's nonexistent in my life now. I just wait because my life begins the day after my mom dies and as much as that sucks to say it's true. Right now I cant get a job, I cant go out with friends, I can't buy gas, I can't go on dates, I can't be excited about anything bc everything costs money or requires a lot of mental or physical spoons or needs for me to be away from my mom for more than 3 hours. Which is impossible at the moment.

Ontop of that my best friend, the person who has said he'll "always" be there for me through this, who knows he's the only one I confide my true feelings about my situation, hasn't checked in on me/messaged me for a whole week because he is upset over the fact that I said "hey I'm not a big fan of this silence right now" on the phone, after some awkward silence after one of my vent. He felt attacked and got upset and started being angry at me..... the person.... who i just cried to about my mom's decline and how fucked up I feel and how my other friend was being rude to me..... proceeded to get upset with me .... because I stated my feelings. And because he didn't like <how> I did it, he has been ignoring me all week. No messages. No check ins. And over the week of silence I have come to grips with just how different the reality of my best friend is from the one who exists in my heart, who I know he can be. The best friend who lives in my heart would approach me always with sympathy and kindness because he knows how shitty life is for me rn, he would understand how this traumatic situation has shaped me and where I am coming from when I voice my feelings, would understand that I am trying my best, would check on me and make sure that I was hanging in there. Would schedule fun activities for us to do together because he'd know how important he is in my life and how alone I am. He'd reach out and help me without me having to ask for it every. single. time. He'd remember how much it sucks to ask for help and he'd be looking out for any way he could make my life better. He would give me the kindness and consideration I would give to him if he were in this position.

He would have responded "I'm here and I have been listening, I was just giving you space to do your own thing and didn't want to overwhelm you. I'm sorry I made awkward silence, but I am definitely here for you even though I don't know what to say."

but instead he got defensive over a statement that wasn't an attack on him, knowing MY SITUATION, WITH MY LIMITED SPOONS. He chose his ego over me. And he keeps choosing his ego over his life partner. He has receeded any emotional support, all communication. He hasn't even checked in on me as a friend. And to me, that's wild. I supported him, emotionally and financially when he was fired from his job and emotionally dead while I was living there. We werent even together and I supported him-- without ever being asked. I tried to sort out our bills, sold my WAX collection, just to keep us afloat. Came home to the USA and supported him financially from time to time when he was skint and couldnt find the spoons to get a job. MULTIPLE TIMES. He never had to ask, he'd just mention he was skint and I'd send over £20. Because I wanted to see him happy. Because I wanted to see him thrive. Because I would do anything in my power to help the people I love. but I'm learning that just because I am a good person to my friends doesn't mean that they will be good to me, even when I repeat over and over and over how unwell I am. I'm learning that people don't like to hand out sympathy, aid, or compassion until *after* the tragedy happens, as beforehand there's a lot of "she can handle it", "she's strong-- she's got this" to excuse themselves or any responsiblity. And that shit is sad. It's honestly heartbreaking and has caused me to lose a lot of faith in reality and lose a lot of faith in my friends. Because if this is how people treat me when I'm going through the WORST time of my life, I don't want to see how they treat me on just a regular day. I deserve so so so so much better.

[isthisevenrealanymore]

Social media truly can’t distract me enough from how tired I am of being poor. I just want to be able to afford shit and live comfortably. Plus having a teenager living with us is literally costing soooo much more in groceries. I’m just so sick of existing at this point. I need a break. I’m so burnt out I have no motivation. It’s like no one can even tell. And when I try to mention it I get blown off. I have no friends. The only person who supports me is my husband. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like even my best friend from back home doesn’t even care any more. I truly feel like I have no one. I feel like I can’t even tell my husband completely about how I’m feeling because I don’t want to dump all my shit on him. He’s trying so hard to keep up afloat as well. And even go to the point where I won’t have to work. Which sounds awesome honestly. I really don’t know how much more phone calls I can handle from people in customer service. People treat me like shit every single day. Because I’m answering a phone call. I just don’t know if I can do this shit any more. I desperately want a career change but have no idea what to do or how to even motivate myself to do it. I had plans to do stuff with my best friend and I can’t even do that with them since they obviously are not very interested. I feel like they accepted my invite out of pity. Even when I’d offer for them to stay a few nights with us, they would say they’d have to ask family if it was ok. We’re in our 20s. I have a hard time believing that honestly. I always say “I understand! It’s ok!!” When…idk dude I feel like people don’t make the same effort with me that I do with them. I’m tired of people being so incredibly disrespectful to me. Like I’m not a fucking person. I’m having one of those moments where I think I just need to go home. Focus on my mental health. I pretend I’m fine but I’m not. I’m still grieving and I’m scared to even talk about it. I’ve already prematurely grieved for my grandad. I need therapy. Or something. Just…anything. I’m like so close to just saying fuck it. I’m on the brink of a mental break. And the cold nights are about to hit. Going to make things worse and I know it. I’m so jealous of people who can be happy in their career. Who even know what they wanna do with their life. I’m fucking 24 and I still don’t know. I feel like a failure to myself and my family. (My husband mainly) big sigh. I’m so exhausted. I’ve been on a break for too long now. I have to go back. I really don’t want to. I may just talk to my boss and see if there’s a way for me to go home early. I am mentally unwell rn and I do not want to talk it out on people.