#I feel like it actually is true that there is an ideal window of time for things to be elucidated
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stuckinapril · 3 days ago
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if I could go back in time my top advice to my younger self would literally be don’t get into fucking situationships
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misstycloud · 1 month ago
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Haunted House
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Ghost yan x ghost reader
TW: suicide mention
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It was with curiosity you stared out the window. A car had pulled up in the drive way. Through the car windows you sa two adults and three children in the backseat. Well, it was definitely not a maintenance company then. It always bothered you so when they came and meddled with your house; though it technically didn’t belong to you anymore you still considered the building as you home, and prison.
You watched as the kids ran out of the vehicle to inspect the house. You had to admit, they were rather cute. Before you hadn’t really thought about having kids and weren’t sure if you ever would, but now you found yourself wondering if you would have made a good mother. One always ponder about the choices out of one’s reach.
They seemed happy, the family of five. Perhaps you would be fine with them around.
“What are you thinking about, dear?” A voice interrupted your dazed thoughtfulness as your mood instantly soured.
“Nothing so you can leave.”
The man behind you sighed. “Do you always have to act like this whenever I’m around?”
You couldn’t bring yourself to look back at him, fearing that the sight of him would send you into a frenzy. “I do when you’re the one who ruined my life.”
“Ruined your life? We were happy together, in fact, I remember you telling me ‘I promise to love you even in death’ but I guess that doesn’t apply, not with the way you treat me.”
You nearly gasped at his audacity. The nerve some people had!
“What? Are you actually serious right now- you can’t be? The way I treat you? You want to talk about the way I treat you? You killed me!” You shouted.
You had turned around now. Your eyes took in the handsome man you had once called the love of your life. Despite the hatred for true actions and pain he caused you, a small part of you still felt something when you looked at him. Maybe it was affection? Maybe it was the anguished feelings of a happy life that could have been? You weren’t sure.
He stilled for a moment before speaking again. “I know, and I am sorry it had to go that way-“
“Had to? You weren’t forced to do anything. At least take responsibility for your actions!”
“I wouldn’t have had to do it if you had just stopped flirting with those other men.” It seemed like it was his turn to become angry. “Don’t think I didn’t see how you looked at them, how your eyes lit up when you saw someone you very clearly fancied.”
“Oh my- we’ve been over this a hundred times, they were just coworkers nothing more. Besides, they have wives and kids of their own!”
It didn’t matter how much you insisted, your (ex)husband did not relent in his accusations.
“That doesn’t mean they’ll be loyal. You have no idea what a treasure you are, many would do anything to get to have you.” The man twirled a strand of your hair around his finger, entranced by your beauty.
“Oh, like you, you mean?” You fired back.
“Stop that.” He said. “I don’t want to fight with you, we’ve already done enough of that. I did what I had to do and nothing will ever change that. Now we’ll be together for ever, even in death, just like we promised each other at the altar. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I hope that one day you will understand how deep my feelings for you go and see things from my perspective. I love you, I really do.” He turned to leave you to your lonesome. Before he left, he told you one final thing, “No one else will adore you as much as I, especially now considering no man will ever see you besides me. You’re nothing more than a ghost after all.”
The tear threatening to escape earlier finally welled up. You cried and wiped your eyes with you cold, dead hand.
——————
Just as you had imagined, the family did bring you a new sense of happiness. Whilst not exactly ideal, watching over(spyin on) the parents and the children made your days more fulfilled. They brought laughter and fun back into your undead life.
Unfortunately you weren’t able to look out for them unless they stayed in the house. It was a real pain in the ass, not being able to leave the building. If you could, you would have left decades ago- much to your (ex)husband/ dismay. You suspected he was relieved to find that you were both confined to your place of death. It meant you couldn’t leave him, which was his goal the entire time. He got what he wanted in the end.
After stabbing you out of jealousy, you died in his arms, crying and demanding answers to why he would hurt you. When you (surprisingly) woke up again, you were in the same position you had been when your life drained out of you. Your man was clutching you tight to his chest and he was stroking you hair. At first you had believed it was all a dream, then you thought you survived the whole thing. He was still petting your hair and rambling on how he loved you and how he would rather die than be separated from you. You hadn’t expected him to be so literal.
You were shocked when you had pulled away from him, only to discover a second version of him lying unmovingly on the floor next to you. Then you noticed the pool of blood spilling out from his neck, and the knife he stabbed you with in his hand. With disbelief you glanced back at the ‘living’ version of him. He smiled somewhat solemnly at you as you took in his too-pale skin and the large scar he had on his throat.
You tried not to think about it too much. No matter what he did, you would never forgive him for taking your life away from you because of his irrational fear of you cheating on him. Well, it was impossible for you to leave or cheat on him now. You were the only ghosts in the house and didn’t have the ability to take even a small step outside the front door.
Instead of spending your days avoiding him as usual, you now followed the family around the house. Mostly the children of course. They had the habit of getting into trouble whenever their parents weren’t around. You had forgotten how many times you had saved them from tripping or bumping their heads. You were lucky you could touch things in the real world for a short second. You couldn’t before so you assumed it was because you were a young and weak ghost back then.
The whole babysitting act also appeared to bother your husband, which you relished in. You remembered one day when he approached you after the family had left for the grocery store.
“Don’t you think you’re spending an awful lot of time with those children?”
“I like them so I don’t mind.” You answered and continued staring at the drawings they made that afternoon, right before begging called to get dressed and meet by the car.
“Well, I don’t think it’s right for you to do the parents job.” He sneered.
Rolling your eyes, you said, “Like I said, I don’t mind.” Your wanted to leave it at that but your (ex)husband had other plans.
“Sweetie, I will be honest; I believe your getting too attached to this family, it’s not good.”
You sent a glare in his direction. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What I mean is I think you should let them be. They’ll eventually move on whilst you’ll be stuck here. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
You scoffed at the audacity he had again. “A little late for that, don’t you think? This is the only source of happiness I have, don’t take anything more from me, please.”
“I don’t make you happy, then?” He asked, though his tone suggested he already knew the answer.
You could look him in the eye, choosing silence. He grumbled something incoherent. After another long minute of silence, he sighed. He did that a lot these days, you thought.
“Alright, my love. Continue to look after these living people if it brings you joy, but remember, it won’t last forever. I will be here when you’re done.”
Once more he left you alone to look out the window. Despite your will to disagree, you knew he was right. These people- this family- they were all still alive. You were not. Your time was over, your life stolen from you. It was only a question of when they’d leave. Until then, you’d be their guardian in this haunted house.
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moonsaver · 3 months ago
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Thinking back to a post you once made about Aeon Sunday… Imagine being someone who knew Sunday in the past before his ascension, only to then receive the gaze of Aeon Sunday later in life
Oh my god. I love this. This is simultaneously creepy AND oddly romantic.
Theres a lot of possibilities for this – was reader sunday's crush? A suitor? Maybe just someone he shared small talk with and actually liked it more than usual? Ooohohoho
Im not sure if its yan or not, so i just kinda.. kept it variable(?)
This ones a bit longer because i desperatley need to wordvomti . Thanks.
Achieving an aeon's gaze is strange, your discipline, morals, ideals, lifestyle, something has to deeply resonate with their followed path. Let us assume Sunday is something similar to a "dreamlike" aeon [maybe it's mentioned in his boss form description, all i remember is the embryo of Philosophy ;;]
But again, it's not exactly stated how you'd be able to achieve an aeon's gaze; i still have no idea how acheron did it [IX is literally a black hole??], because i cant for the life of me read through those huge blocks of texts in the dialogue.
So lets say Sunday's able to pull his own strings and maybe even force you on that path. He's an aeon – who's stopping him?
Its the middle of the night, you're awake in bed, tossing and turning. It feels like something in your chest is pulling, a weird sensation you've been trying to put off. Your eyes are burning from the lack of sleep, but your mind seems restless. You try to calm yourself down and think about one thing and then another, one by one, until you remember Sunday. You wonder what was going through his mind, his in-between words in that one conversation, what he could have meant..
And like that, you fall asleep. Your bones sink into the bed, your weight relaxes into the pliant surface.
And then you awake. But somewhere else. It's not your bedroom – not the familiar ceiling, nor the corner of your room with piled clothes or a messy table. It's the cosmos, littered with stars. It's strange. You almost don't notice until you try to move – you're floating in space.
You turn, and he's there. That recognizable golden halo, stretching out into the dark expanse like the inside of a star plunging into the depths, golden eyes that peer down at you; with recognition, understanding, almost sympathy, and something you can't quite place. Your ribs ache and your lungs burn when you're reminded to breathe – this is the man you were thinking about before you slept.
You wake up, panting, shooting up in bed. The familiar space of your room greets you this time. The night is young outside your window ‐ not much time seems to have passed in that brilliant moment.
You were ready to chalk it up to a dream, like the ones where you feel like you're falling and wake up with a racing heart. But then you look down, and see a strange symbol on your body, something akin to an eye.
It seems you've earned his blessing to follow his path.
And even more? It seems like you're the first person to actually follow this path.
It's strange and isolating in a way. You can awaken from the sweetdream paradise your beloved Aeon seems to have put penacony under. You gain this strange, superflous, iridescent ghost of a halo, and you realise you can use it to communicate.
You can communicate with Sunday.
But a part of you finds it pointless. you can't understand what he's saying anymore; Aeons' existence transcends language. You can only hear whispers of people speaking to you, as though it's from the corner of a room, somewhere in the distance, with one barely audible male voice standing out in the whispering; it might be sunday's real voice, but you're not sure. At least, to some degree, you've managed to make out a few words.
Some words give you information. You can monitor the true handiwork of your aeon this way. Every person's dream — sweet, deep slumbers, exquisitely woven by deft fingers, all in 7 days. You figured this when you phased out of the dream, looking down at your own sleeping body and freaking out, when Sunday communicated with you for the first time, instantly calming you down. Dream. Woven. 7 days. Those words were evident in the cacophony of whispers.
Some words carry warnings. Or rather, they're not exactly words.
When your curious hands boldly trace the surface of a particularly fragile dream, you hear breathing. In close proximity, too, as if its right behind your ear. Sometimes, if you try to wake someone, you feel the breathing; warm, and languidly flowing down the back of your collar. You've chosen to not find out what happens when you don't listen.
Sometimes, when you decide to simply phase out of the dream to take a look at your own body in reality – you talk to Sunday. You tell him what you think, who you met in the dreamscape, what he can do to make it better [since.. well, you can't exactly do much to awaken anyone or oppose an aeon]. You assume he doesn't hear you, since you don't get your whispery response, but after you catch a few glimpses of your suggestions in the dreamscape, you realise he's just a good listener.
Perhaps, even if you may be the only follower of this path for now.. it may not be as isolating as you think.
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flos-obsessivus · 3 months ago
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YANDERE SFW ALPHABET - LILIAN
This is the full post for the 250 follower milestone! Thank you so much for those who participated! I had to cut it off early because it's nearing 500 followers and I'll be busy these next few days. Please enjoy!
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Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
Honestly, he has all 5 love languages, words of affirmation – he needs to know that you love him, and he himself will declare everyday, every hour, every minute, how much he loves you. Quality time and Physical touch, both go hand in hand as cuddling is a big part of both of your routines. And as an Isolating type, it’s inevitable that he would always stay by your side if you’re locked up in the castle.
Acts of service, another one that’s important to him, if he serves you well, that means he’s a good husband and lover right? Worshippers are usually this way so that’s understandable. And finally, gift giving, he’s a prince, money is not a problem to him, so anything that your heart desires, be it jewelry, another kingdom, or the horns of the great fae, nothing will stop him if you ask for it.
Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
He himself will not spill blood, but everyone knows he is the crown prince of a whole kingdom, and that kingdom has many people that adore him. Ordering the guards to kill those who are a threat to you and him is easy to do, having people accept the murders is even easier.
Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
He’s actually a very good host, he’s very attentive and makes sure that all your needs are met, be it food or entertainment, he’ll be happy to serve you well.
He would never do anything that would mock you, for it shows how much of a bad lover he is. It’s supposed to be a happy ending, so why would he say anything negative to you? Both of you should be happy and his heart can’t take it if he does anything bad to you, outside locking you up that is.
Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
Nope, he's too much of a good boy for that. He's more of a worshipper, obsessive type. So to him, you are more important than he would ever be. Anything that is outside of your comfort zone is a big no.
Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
VERY VULNERABLE! He could never, ever, manage to hide his love for you, from his words to his body language, it’s obvious how much love is packed in that body of his. He is, and always will be honest, he just has a way to word it so people will not think ill of his person. As a prince, clear communication and flowery words are important, to you though, both of those are thrown out the window. 
Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
Incredibly sad, the only reason why you would fight back is because you still haven't learned to love him! That's why you're very irritable, right? He just needs to understand you, as your true love it is important to know everything about you.
So, of course he'll do anything! W-well except letting you go of course...
Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
It’s not a game to him, it’s a life or death situation, literally. His curse makes him desperate to find his true love, but also, he’d rather die than not have you, or in this case, stay in eternal sleep because he knows the only way he’d wake up is from your kiss.
Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
The worst thing that he'll do is isolate you until you love him, he wouldn't hurt you, he wouldn't force you to love him. Instead he will wait... Wait by your side as he takes care of you, wait on his knees as he looks at you like you hung the moon, wait until you finally love him.
Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
Marriage and children! Also ruling over the rosen kingdom. It’s a royal’s duty to create heirs for the throne, and as his true love, marriage is inevitable right? 
Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
He definitely does, it’s incredibly obvious too considering it shows so expressively on his face, how his cheeks puffs up in jealousy, mouth turned down into a pout, and how he grips your sleeve so tightly. He never blames you for it though, rather, it’s always going to be the other person’s fault for trying to seduce you. His way of coping is believing that the other person is just a toy of yours, one day you’ll get sick of them and finally go back to him.
Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?
So in love, it’s actually harder for him to mask his emotions when he’s around you. Yes, he manages to keep his face still but there are other parts of him that are harder to control. The redness of his cheeks, the trembling of his hands, the weakening of his knees, and the growing love for you in between his legs. If you are good at reading people, you’ll realise there's so many parts of him that sing a different song.
Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
Oh he’s very sweet, usually courtship is very straightforward during his time, often just straight up asking if they wish to be wed during a ball, even arranged marriage is part of it. Lilian however, has the right to choose who and how he’ll court someone. I can see him courting you with gifts and such, and though he rarely sings, he is willing to woo you with his amazing voice. Every chance where he gets to sing in front of you, he’ll take it. He’ll even dedicate a whole song just for you. (Idol! Lilian everyone? Also Once upon a dream by Lana del Rey)
Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
Yes and no. He still acts the same with you and with the other people, his kindness and beauty is for all. However, the only difference is that with other people he is calm, even with uncomfortable situations he is still as level headed as the crown prince should be.
On the other hand, when he's with you, it gets harder to control his emotions. Even if he looks calm on the outside, just know he is so close to losing control of his affection for you. It becomes obvious when part of his routine is to find you to talk to you or just stalk you.
Naughty: How would they punish their darling?
Isolation, and more bonding time with him! If you tried to escape or managed to actually escape, he'd just try harder to make you love him so you wouldn't escape. Physically hurting you is a big no no. To him, how he treats you reflects on what kind of person he is. If he hurts you, he's no more less than a brute.
Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
Only being able to get out of the room. However, he’ll make it so all of the things you need are available to you. Entertainment, books, anything that you need he’ll bring it to you. He’ll do anything, as long as it’s not letting you go outside until you fall in love with him.
Patience: How patient are they with their darling?
Very patient, he is not blessed with kindness for nothing. To be fair, he never sees anything as your fault, it’ll always be him or someone else. 
Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
Never. As his only true love, his heart will always be with you. If you die, his heart is buried with you. If you escape, he will do anything to find you, if you manage to escape to a neighbouring kingdom... Menelaus started a war to bring Helen of Troy back, do you think he will not do the same?
Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
Yes he does feel incredibly guilty, but he wouldn’t let you go. It’s more of a risk for the whole kingdom if he lets you go, because everybody knows it's only time before he regrets letting you go. War is not off the table if he knows one of the kingdoms is harbouring you.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
Since his birth, he has been revered for being the beloved prince of the Rosen Kingdom. From childhood to adulthood, he is expected to be lovely and kind to everyone, though it comes naturally to him, it still tires him at times. Due to his curse, his parents become overprotective, fearing that the great fae will find him and hurt him before the cursed day comes. He rarely gets to go out of the castle due to this, instead he would stay in the library when he has free time. He discovers books through this where there is always a happy ending in every fairytale.
He thinks of himself as a damsel in distress, being stuck in the castle guarded because of his status. Since then he always tries to seek out his prince charming, or his knight in shining armour, or just his true love. Because if he finds his true love, the person who loves him for him and not his charm, the person who will save him from his curse... He'll be able to finally live normally...
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
Devastated! He’ll cry with you, for his heart is yours, and when you cry, his heart will cry. He already basically isolates you so, it’s not as odd, however if it extends to you refusing to touch him, he’s very pouty and sad. He needs his daily affection or he’ll be heartbroken.
Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
For this one, I don’t know, what classifies a classic yandere? Is it the dominant abusive type that seems to be most popular today? Or the ‘I will kill everybody who even looks at you’ type? There are many definitions of a classic yandere, these two are what I’ve seen a lot in other stories.
In that case, he’s the type to never hurt you, he’s mainly a submissive and worshipper type, with other types mixed in (Obsessive type as I said in Darling). He truly, truly loves you, and he refuses to even harm a single strand of your hair. Killing people is too much for him, oftentimes letting servants do it for him. He is still kind at heart, as is the blessing given by his fairy godmother. 
Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
His love for you! As I said for Darling, he is the worshipper type, so your word is law. If it means making you happy, he's willing to do anything, as long as you make sure not to make him aware of your plans to escape. If you do manage to escape though, you can barely get anywhere before you get caught by the guards. 
You can escape Lilian yes, but you cannot escape the kingdom itself, especially from his influence.
Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?
Nope! Hurting you also hurts him, how he treats you reflects on how he is as a person. Please refer to Unique and Naughty for more info!
Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
So, so much. You are more important than anything in his life, after all, you are the one who would dictate whether he lives past 21 or not. Well, you and the great fae but! He only wants you. Money, fame, and power and one of the few things he can give. His entire being is also not off the table.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
Honestly, until the day before his 21st birthday. However, the closer that day comes, the more desperate he becomes. Of course, he’ll want his curse to break and you are the only one who could, so before that happens he makes sure that you fall in love with him. If you still reject him, he’ll lose the will to keep going and accept his inevitable eternal sleep. At least then he will be dreaming of you forever.
Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?
Only by accident, one person can only stay in one place for so long before they go crazy. Yes, Lilian is there with you, but talking to only one person everyday can cause so many issues. Desperation can make you do things you’ll regret, breaking you is one of them. Let’s just hope it’s Stockholm syndrome and not your will to live. 
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demonmoonsupreme · 5 months ago
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Ugh. I have to say it. I’ve been holding it back because I know how much fandom hates this plot point so much. And like maybe it’s because I enjoy angst, or because characters coming in a vacuum sealed ‘morally upstanding’ package is just not realistic or enjoyable to me.
But Gwen should not have been ‘bewitched’ to cheat on Arthur with Lancelot. For one, it just sets another horrible precedence of magic use within the narrative. And two: it’s boring as hell. Oh, and also apparently Gwen was only allowed screen time in later seasons when her autonomy was nowhere to be seen. So three. Three reasons why I find it dumb as hell. And one that last front? Yeah, I think she should have willingly had an affair with Lancelot. I know, I Know. Cheating bad. Cheating make evil wrong person. Or whatever twitterinas are saying.
But hear me out (or don’t). How did Gwen feel after Lancelot died after she made him promise to return Arthur to her alive? Did she feel that she had unwittingly sentenced him to death? Her first true love; the man she looked for in other men. (Maybe we’d know how she felt if the writers didn’t have her going off like a broken record and just keep repeating what a great king Artie would someday be). I wish we had seen her grief, I wish she had been given time to mourn (as we know she never is in a series that kills every family member she has). And then Lancelot returns. She realizes she stills loves him, she feels guilty and blames herself thinking she had a part in his death. She thinks she asked him to sacrifice himself. And she wonders if she made the right choice. Lancelot and Arthur are there before her, and her wedding is in two days, and it’s all so sudden and the window of opportunity is about to be closed for the rest of her life; and she wonders if she’s chosen the right man. Gwen wonders if she’s been given a second chance, can she amend her previous choices. Does she want to amend them. Yes, this storyline opens her up to all sorts of criticisms. Fandom would condemn her a slut, she would join the ranks of women who can’t just make up their damn mind. Someone would declare it’s anti-feminist, because women aren’t allowed to be portrayed with “bad” qualities and when they are it just sets us all back.
But…it would be so much more nuanced than the plot they gave us. It would give Gwen the opportunity to make the choice because in the past it had been robbed from her (Lancelot leaving when he realized that Arthur loved Gwen, and Lancelot dying the first time). It would grant her autonomy over her own sexuality and choice of partner(s). Unlike the male protagonists in this show, Gwen is never actually given a real chance to morally grapple with anything, especially her own actions. She just is a good person who never does anything wrong, can be a bad-ass if it’s required, and falls into the straight and narrow path of ideal womanhood when she gets a boyfriend in a position of extreme power.
I know I’m barely making sense, but she just could have been written so much better. She could have been treated like a real person in the writers room, but she wasn’t.
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mysterycitrus · 10 months ago
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Hey Greta! I was wondering if you had any thoughts on dick & cass siblingisms. I think they have so much potential as a dynamic but people don’t talk about them all that much. I figured I’d ask since you have immaculate takes on everything👍
oh em gee cass dick siblingisms……. my favourite weirdos! was a big fan of them together (particularly in murderer + fugitive) but also that time she threw him out a window. i think it’s a real shame we pretty much haven’t seen their relationship since gates of gotham 2011 because the potential dynamic there is so interesting.
cass is exactly like bruce -> dick understands bruce better than anyone else -> cass can read anyones intentions and true feelings -> dick is notoriously cagey and hard to read like…. that’s peak ‘no one understands u like ur siblings’ in my eyes!! no one in the world can hide from u, but then this random person with a complicated relationship with a father figure can predict ur feelings without u saying a word?? both confronting and comforting. i want them to communicate without saying anything — just weird grunts and nods — because i think it’d make tim and damian so mad.
in an ideal world we’d see a lot more focus of cass progressing as a detective, getting support for her learning disabilities from steph + babs + wendy, but id love to see an actual, proper case with just the two of them. cass isn’t just a martial artist — she’s super intelligent and just currently lacks the resources in other areas of the job! dick is experienced with connecting with and teaching people (specifically damian and rose wilson) and i think it’d be a really really cool story!
another angle would be passing the mantle of the bat to cass, and how dick would be a part of preparing her for that role. it’d be neat if there was some resentment there from cass— she actually wants to be batman, but she wasn’t considered. they both have such unique takes on what batman does or should do (dick found light in bruce’s darkness, cass can so clearly see a better future in gotham) that that dialogue would’ve been super super special to explore.
i also like the idea of like….. they both think the other is suuuper weird. like dick watches cass suplex a guy through dimensions like woag….. that’s crazy. and cass watches dick do a forward flip roll through space-time and she’s like ?????? sometimes bruce sees them talking about him on patrol and truly fears God in that moment.
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ukiyowi · 1 year ago
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𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 (𝟓𝟒𝟎𝟓)
ETERNAL CHILDHOOD
The place Neverland (asteroid 5305) comes from the works of J.M Barrie where characters like Peter Pan, Captain Hook and the Lost Boys come from. Neverland talks about never growing up. In my opinion, wherever this asteroid is in your chart it can signify escapism (where you escape to when the world's troubles come your way).
NOTE: THESE ARE JUST MY OBSERVATIONS don't take my word as gospel~
Navi
∞ 1st: You may turn to childhood hobbies, maybe playing games you played in your early years, or focusing on your outward appearance, trying to feel better through fashion or makeup, express yourself in terms of your appearance. This placement may indicate talking to yourself/giving yourself very frequent pep talks and/or affirming a lot.
∞ 2nd: You could turn to things that give you comfort like foods that you've liked for a long time, like you may eat or drink or go/order food from somewhere you like. It can also suggest that you may either window shop or spend money on things you like. It could be like a reward system, you are rewarding yourself for getting through the tough time.
∞ 3rd: Probably will turn to reading or debates, I've noticed 3rd house also concerns itself with commentary so maybe you'd watch commentary videos on YouTube, something that will get the gears going in your head to distract you from the problems you may be facing. Could also spend time with your siblings if you have any.
∞ 4th: You'll turn to your family, maybe a maternal figure when you are in trouble. You may seek solace from elders around you, probably go to them for advice or just to talk. I've noticed some people with this placement throw themselves into academic work/they'll start researching on random topics and go in-depth as an escape.
∞ 5th: You create, I have a friend with this placement and she goes complete re-enactment of her favourite movie scene either out loud or in her head because it makes her feel so much better/works as an outlet, you may paint/draw too OOO or watch dramatic movies that is also something I've noticed.
∞ 6th: You move, you need physical movement may it be going on a run or exercising (something related to health) or simply pacing around the house makes you feel better. You may start making plans/timetables for yourself as it may act as a distraction. You may throw yourself into work and surround yourself with projects so that you constantly have something to do.
∞ 7th: Personally noticed that yes they may try to escape using relationships both platonic and romantic and getting lost in them treating them as ideal even when they're not BUT ALSO I've noticed that these placements usually may play uhm dating simulation games? Like good old fashioned otome games or something this is just a personal observation because I too have this placement and uhh :D
∞ 8th: I have a friend with this placement and as typical as it may sound she either goes and interacts with NSFW stuff or masturbates, they may also spend kinda recklessly or play gacha games (or actually gamble) this could be linked to reckless spending OR on the flip side trying to earn as much as I can usually for others benefit like through fundraisers.
∞ 9th: I've noticed they go into their mind, probably try to analyse the situation. I've seen that they may research on an array of topics as well just whatever interests them, they may also look towards religion if they are religious or look towards spirituality, trying to find solace or answers in a higher power, the escapist tendencies may lead to becoming parts of communes
∞ 10th: The typical and often true answer, they throw themselves into work BUT I've noticed that they try to change themselves, like major changes, they may try to change their entire persona in a small period of time, from how they're viewed to how they dress. They essentially want to rebrand and rework.
∞ 11th: Spending time with close friends, for a lot of them probably spending time online, coming online can especially give them a break from reality, also the type to havemore online friends as well, they could also get into a lot of volunteer work, probably having to do with mental health or old ages homes.
∞ 12th: One is sleeping I don't know why but I know 2 people with this placement and they just go to bed, if not that then it's either journaling like art journaling or poetry writing, romanticised poetry that too, a lot of the times they just get lost in a daydream, in an ideal world where whatever they're escaping from doesn't exist, probably also the type to isolate themselves.
-♡♡♡-
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oumaheroes · 6 days ago
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Talk dover to me <3
'How hot is it?'
'It's hot.'
'Is it hot enough for me.'
'Francis, get the fuck in.' Arthur sat up and back further in the tub to make room, 'Stop looking at me like that; get in and shut the bloody door. You're letting all the heat out.'
'Oh, I thought it was hot enough.'
Arthur raised his eyes to the heavens and sank back lower into the water.
Francis shut the door and turned back to glare at him, 'You're taking up all the room.'
'You took too long.'
'Move.'
'I will when you get in.'
'You're insufferable. This is supposed to be relaxing. I'm supposed to enjoy this.' In a swift movement, Francis shucked off his (overly) fluffy bathroom, ‘Get out of the way.’
‘I will when you get in.’
Francis stepped one foot fully into the water with a wince and Arthur grinned, ‘Too hot?’
‘Arthur, I swear to God I will sit on your legs.’
‘I took the tap side for you.’
‘I appreciate the weaponry to hand. Move.’
Before Arthur could retort, Francis stepped fully into the tub and Arthur had to swiftly moved his legs out of the way to avoid tendon damage.
‘Look, you’ve flooded us.’ Arthur said, eyeing up the overflow along the tub’s rim from the wave made by Francis’ entrance. ‘That better not go through the carpet to the floorboards, we can’t afford to redo them after the kitchen.’
‘I’m surprised you have enough heart and feeling in your stingy heart to allow us to have this much water.’ Francis sank as deep as he could go, knees sharp mountains in the water, and closed his eyes, ‘Ugh, it’s been too long since I’ve had a bath. I needed this.’
‘Hmm.’ Arthur pulled one of Francis’ feel forwards to massage his calf, firm circles with his thumbs, ‘It’s rarely cold enough to be worth it.’
‘That’s a terrible opinion.’ Francis cracked open an eye, looking just behind Arthur and to the right, ‘As is the need to have the window open.’
‘I like the contrast.’
Francis shook his heard and closed his eyes again, ‘I think I’m going to quit.’
‘Finally.’
‘Yes, well. I had hopes. Growth upwards, more than anything currently improving.’
‘Move on to another station?’
Francis shrugged, ‘The chance for more responsibility. Menu choices, ideally.’
Arthur snorted and moved onto Francis’ other leg, ‘As if David would ever let you do that.’
‘He does for Nikhil.’
‘Nikhil is an arselick.’
‘Nikhil is also the level above. But even then, to just move off vegetables and fish. I hate fish, or I hate cooking fish. The smell gets everywhere.’
‘I don’t mind you smelling like a whore.’
Francis hit him with a sudden splash of water, Arthur catching the grin of his teeth right before he closed his eyes.
‘Stop it. Let me moan; don’t make me laugh.’
‘I would do no such thing willingly.’ Arthur lay back as much as he could with the awkward and hard metal of the tap, lolling his head against the wall with his arm slung over the ceramic to keep him from sliding. ‘Your unhappiness is my entire aim.’
Francis snorted and cupped water in his hands to tip onto the crown of his head, fingers raking through the strands.
‘Are you actually?’ Arthur asked after a moment, his hand going back to the meat of Francis’ calf, then the cool skin of his knee, ‘Going to quit; go somewhere else.’
Francis shrugged. ‘No. Yes. Inside, mentally, I quit ages ago. But today was just...’ he waved a hand lazily, ‘I don’t know how much longer. Not because it’s hard or bad but, what’s the point. Of being stuck somewhere that won’t change, clinging to something that left a long time ago.’
‘True, I-‘
‘Like you with me.’
Arthur froze, a coldness blooming in his stomach to spread like ice through his veins. He pulled his hand away and Francis eyed him, eyes flicking up and down.
‘How many years has it been?’ He asked, ‘Five? Six?’
Arthur tried to speak but managed only a croak. Swallowed, tried again, ‘Seven.’
‘Ah yes, seven.’ Francis looked around the bathroom, at the cracks that Arthur now remembered as being on the ceiling, the damp mildew stains along the tiles to pillow black in the grouting that hadn’t been there a second ago. ‘Too long, my love.’
Arthur couldn’t speak. He reach forwards, through still, tepid water to where Francis still lay bright and whole against clean ceramic and the vibrant colours of years before. His hands met nothing but the smooth other side.
Francis watched him, silent. There was something of pity in his expression, almost readable as contempt. ‘Arthur.’
‘No.’
‘You have to let me go, Arthur.’
‘Francis.’ Arthur pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, keeping the sound of Francis’ voice safe and away from the reality that his eyes could now see, ‘Please.’
‘It’s funny that this is where you see me.’ A soft splash, the gentlest movement of water, ‘Is this the only place that you have left? The last place you can call me back?’
It was. There had been others, especially right at the start. Francis in the kitchen, Francis in bed. Francis draped across the lounge sofa, hair in Arthur’s fingers, his warmth against his side. But the rooms were too large and the truth too heavy, too much to filter with so much space to repaint. As the years fell away, it became harder through the years to recall Francis there for more than a flash, and Arthur always needed more.
The bathroom, small and cramped in their little old flat, was still enough. Arthur could pull their relationship out there and unfurl it like a canvas, run through imaginary tapes of old conversations and quiet little moments to fill the space and coat it completely.
It still felt so real.
‘Your brothers are worried about you.’ Another splash, coming closer, ‘You look at least ten years older than you should.’
‘Stop. Please, don’t.’
‘Keeping me here is taking too much.’ Another splash. Arthur heard something lift out of the water, heard the plink plink plink of droplets falling from something tangible there with him. ‘How much life do you have left to waste on trying to get back the one that you lost?’
Arthur felt Francis’ hand on his cheek, his fingers cold and hard as bone. Arthur’s breath caught and he squeezed his eyes so tightly that he could hear a roaring of blood in his ears.
‘Are you waiting for me to say that I forgive you? Do you keep bringing me back here, dragging me up, because you hope that maybe I’ll say you’re not to blame? And, since I won’t, you instead play happier memories again and again and again-’ Francis squeezed hard, fingers digging in sharp to Arthur’s skin, ‘to avoid that day?’
Arthur tried to shake his head but couldn't, found his whole body was rigid and stuck. He tried to jerk away, kick his legs at the thing holding him there but his legs couldn’t move. The tap pressed sharply into his back, limescale cutting his skin.
‘Oh.’ The thing that still sounded like Francis tutted, ‘If only you hadn’t been drinking.’
A crash, a car. Night time, Coldplay’s Yellow lifting into the darkness as behind him on the verge... Whiskey on Arthur’s breath, he’d been at the limit but still-
The grip tightened, harder against Arthur’s teeth to force the bitter reality past the lie and into his mouth. ‘Didn’t you have just. One. More.’
Finally, Arthur opened his eyes.
It does not take long for flesh to decompose. Especially in the summer, especially when it was already so ruined, so open.
Nothing hung from Francis’ bones, nothing was left of his softness. His beauty vanished when his soul did, leaving only the shell of a thing that sits before Arthur in chilling water: empty darkness between ribs and cheekbones, picked clean by the creatures of the earth that he was returned to.
‘I’m sorry.’ Arthur whispered to it through its fingers, ‘I’m so, so sorry.’
‘I know.’ Francis’ voice is still in his head; the fused jaw did not move, ‘But that doesn't change anything, does it?’
-----------------
AN:
... I... This just happened and did not go quite according to the plan that I had in mind but we're rolling with it
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kirarifutari · 2 years ago
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room for two. (jake x reader)
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GENRE .. !? jake x reader, roommates, fluff
WARNINGS .. !? sfw! not proof read, rushed bc when is it not, sharing same bed trope, roommate trope, this is bad
WC ..?! aprox. 1.8k
SYNOPSIS .. ?! sharing a shitty apartment with anyone is a pain in itself but with sim jake that was another story, on the most impossible night to sleep, you shamefully knock on your roommates door, asking if there's room for two.
NOTES.. ?! funny story i probably rewrote this like 5 times trying to figure out an actual story line w roommate!jake but it literally still did not work so have this garbage... but if u enjoyed pls share reblog and like hehheehehe <3
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You shuffle in your sheets, trying to find a comfortable position on your stale mattress. 
Both sides of your allow were warm and your eyes just couldn’t keep closed. Twisting and turning some more didn’t help either. You checked the time, 01:43 AM. You bring a pillow to your face and let out a muffled groan. 
Sleeping in your rundown little apartment was tough most nights, especially with the train line right next to your window coupled with the little droplets of rain you could feel from the window on rainy nights like this. But you were the one who chose this room for yourself, the other was perfectly fine, not amazing but anything was better than this room. The question is, why this one? Because you’re a push over and wanted to be a nice person. That’s why. 
Joining a new college mid semester was a pain, and no one told you that all the dorms were full, practically leaving you begging for a roommate in some apartment, you didn’t really care how bad it was. (Well, you regret those thoughts a little now…)
There was only one person who was kind enough to offer you a space, he had already rented the apartment under his name and he was even offering you his room, claiming that the other wouldn’t be suitable for you. 
While arranging the living situation, you texted Jake back assuring him a thousand times over that you were fine to take the smaller room, you were just grateful for him to have given you a space at all.
 
It’s true, you meant what you said. Jake was too nice of a person to push him out of his own room when he’d already been kind enough to share rent in the first place. But sharing an apartment with Jake was… more troubling than you thought. 
When you first met him you didn’t expect him to be that pretty of a person. His sharp jawline and happy smile in harmony with the way his hair fell around his face, the cherry on top being his golden retriever like personality. 
You wondered deep down how you were going to last living with practically your ideal type for at least the rest of the year. 
Leaving you back ni your room, time now 01:46AM and you still couldn’t sleep, your eye twitching at the sound of a train passing through the neighbourhood. Your eyes scan the room again, your small desk and makeshift wardrobe, the thin walls and the strange brown circle right above your bed…
Wait. 
You hadn’t noticed that before.
You sit up right, gazing at the patch that had formed on your ceiling, it seemed to be growing rapidly. Just as you were about to get up, grab your phone and inspect it with the lights on, a droplet of water fell on your forehead. No, it wasn’t coming from the window, you were sure of it because the droplets were coming hard and fast. 
“Shit, shit, shit.” You mumble underneath your breath, bursting your door open and trying to grab a bucket from the bathroom as silently as you could, not wanting to disturb Jake in the next room over. Taking the bucket from beside the shower and bringing on top of your bed, you place it directly underneath the leak.
Which also happened to be directly under where you were supposed to sleep for the night. 
You were stumped. It was too late at night to get up and do something to waste time and too early to tough it out till the morning. You’d barely gotten an hour of sleep at this point. 
You chew your lip as you go over the options in your head. 
1.Sleep on your rooms molded, squeaky wooden floor with no blankets too… yours were getting a little wet now.
Or
2. Knock on Jakes door, swallow all your pride, and ask for some spare blankets and sleep on his floor.  
You were seriously considering a third option of flushing yourself down the toilet, but you knew the option A was just as bad as staying up until the sun rose, knowing you’d get no sleep either way. The couch was out of the question too, it would probably give you scoliosis if you tried laying down to sleep on it. 
You sucked in a breath. You needed your sleep… this was going to be the only way, besides what's Jake going to do? Reject you? What’s the worst that could happen… 
Throwing on a hoodie over your tank top you make the walk of shame out of your room, and gently knock on Jake’s door, praying to get this over with quickly. 
At first you thought you heard nothing, knocking gently again, you get a small hum in response. You feel your cheeks heat up at his deep voice. You open the door handle to a bleary eyed Jake with messy bed hair, hunched over his bedside table as he turned on his lamp. Jake’s room was nice, much better than your own with space for a double bed and a built in closet. 
“Hey, what are you doing up? You should get some rest, go back to sleep bunny.” He covered his yawn slightly, leaving you standing there, stupidly trying to get out the right words to explain your situation. 
“Sorry to wake you up,” You start slowly, Jake starting to look more awake now. “But the um, the ceiling it started leaking.” He tilted his head in question over this. “Over my bed and I uh, don’t have anywhere else to sleep, could you lend me some blankets maybe? I-I could sleep on your floor…” You mentally slap yourself for stuttering like an idiot asking him a simple question. 
Jake looked more awake now but still seemed to be processing everything you just said. 
“You want to sleep on my floor?” You wanted to hide from embarrassment, was that seriously all he got out of your little proposal?
“Uh, yeah if that’s okay… we both know how gross mine is.” You laugh a little to fill out the awkward air. Jake is sat up right on his bed now, humming to himself as he puts his head on the headrest. 
He rolls his head towards you, making sharp eye contact as he gives you his usual puppy like smile. 
“There’s room for two in here you know?” He looks at you as if it’s the most obvious solution in the world to your problems, the 1+1 = 2 to your dilemma. You widen your eyes at him to which he only chuckles, shuffling over and flipping up the blanket to invite you in. 
So he wasn’t kidding. 
This wasn’t a little Jake ‘gotcha I’m such a prankster lol!’ moment, this was him seriously offering to sleep in the same bed. You were sure he was delirious. 
“Don’t make me wait for you forever, I have sleep to catch up on bunny.” He raises an eyebrow at you which snaps you out of yoru daze, almost jumping as you slowly close the door behind you and take padded footsteps towards his bed.
You could not believe you were doing this right now.
Gently you sit on his bed and shuffle to lie down, pulling the sheets over yourself. Jake got comfortable pretty quick turning away from you and seemingly fell back asleep within seconds, but you just lied there staring at the ceiling, questioning whether the moldy floor would’ve allowed a more peaceful sleep than this. 
Of course, his sheets smelled exactly like him, and the way he looked when he was sleeping as adorable, all curled up with tiny light snores escaping his lips. You squeeze your eyes shut and consider getting out, knowing there’d be no way you were falling out of consciousness this close to your roommate. But your escape plans rendered useless, a heavy arm locking the route out and trapping you close to his chest. You let out a small sharp gasp, even you could barely hear it yourself, but you were so sure that you could feel Jake smiling against your shoulder. 
Your breathing slowed and your hearts pacing matched his, your eyelids felt heavy and you finally felt yourself drifting off into unconsciousness. A warm fuzzy feeling keeping you smiling in your sleep. 
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The sunlight gently wavered over your face and an unfamiliar light breeze drifting through the the curtains allowed your eyes to flutter open once again. A split seconds worth of panic arose in you as you noticed the pale white bed sheets and the strange soft mattress. Your surroundings felt all too… nice, you quickly remembered the events of last night and you sighed in relief, only to be swallowed in panic again once you noticed Jake was not sleeping beside you. You looked at the time: 9:30AM. 
Although you were thankful it was a Saturday, it felt odd to be up this later, stranger yet in Sim Jake’s bed… without Sim Jake. 
“Oh the bunny’s awake, morning sunshine.” Jake’s voice startled you form the doorway. He leaned onto the door frame, sipping a cup of coffee in hand and giving you a warm smile. You were dumbfounded at how casual he was about everything, but then again you weren’t going to deny that that was the best sleep you’ve had in months. 
“How long have you been up?” You questioned him.
“Hmm, maybe since 8? I didn’t want to wake you up, you were sleeping so peacefully.” You blush at this, knowing that he’s seen what you look like sleeping gave you that feeling of intimacy that dwelled inside of you. 
“You should’ve woken me up… I feel bad for taking up your space.” You heard Jake chuckle at this, he shook his head, allowing his messy hair to fall over his eyes again. 
“You keep saying that, but we share the rent to this place together, don’t worry about it.” You hum at him, suddenly feeling self conscious under his gaze, clad in a hoodie and pyjama shorts, your hair probably a mess as you try and smooth it out. 
You cough, “So are you gonna call someone to fix the leak? I can call up the landlord of you want me to.” You break your eye contact from him for a moment. 
“No.” He replies flatly, causing you to look back up at him in confusion. “You should sleep in here more often.”
You feel your face go hot again, mouth falling open in an attempt to say something, but Jake had already gotten out of the doorway with a small smirk and a wink.
Leaving you in his sheets,
Time: 9:35AM.
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naomi-the-red · 4 months ago
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I have a problem with how people represent Lightweavers and the “strangeness” of their oaths. Lightweavers’ oaths are actually no different functionally than anyone else’s, I just don’t think people understand the point of the oaths as a general.
I’m glad the Say the Words videos exist because I feel they get at this, especially in regards to the Lightweavers, but the whole point of the oaths is to protect people against the worst of that persons nature. What those oaths will shape like and be in phrasing, depends on the order and history of the radiant speaking them, but they all do the same thing—hold them accountable.
Windrunners by their nature can be self-righteous as hell. They have to be reminded that they don’t get to pick and choose who deserves their protection. They protect so long as it is right.
Skybreakers are all about the law and justice, they get reigned in by holding the law as a foundation but that they need to remember that law doesn’t always equal justice; it’s just the best baseline Skybreakers have to start from. That whole “become the law” business of the fifth ideal sounds scary, but it’s their fifth ideal, they aren’t getting there willy nilly. By that point they should well understand why the law exists, and they need to be able to rise above it when the law itself is unjust.
So what about Lightweavers? Why are their oaths so superficially different? Because a Lightweavers nature is to lie to themselves and everyone around them. Both sides of their powers can literally meld illusion and reality. Delusional thinking is an inevitability with that power set, let alone those inclined to it. Lightweavers need to be honest with themselves because if they can’t, they will lose themself to their unrealities.
Why did I say ‘unrealities’ and not lies? Because this is another level people do not respect Lightweavers. They are not liars, they are mythmakers. It is not necessarily about deception but telling truth through lies. They are so close to Truthwatchers for a reason, but where the Truthwatchers find the truth in fact, Lightweavers find the truth in fiction. It’s not a lie, it’s an unreality.
I’ll let PL Travers, author of Mary Poppins, explain through a paraphrasing of her article ‘The World of the Hero’:
“The word myth, for example, is largely accepted and used as something synonymous with lie. 'It's a myth, we say, meaning something that is not to be believed, a tarradiddle, a tall story, an impossibility. Even the Concise Oxford Dictionary describes it as a fictitious idea. I would rather have said 'unverifiable… for whether we know it or not, we all—like the Hero—live in myth.
…We go to the myths not so much for what they mean as for our own meaning. Who am I? Why am I here? How can I live in accordance with reality?
Now, this problem of meaning can literally overwhelm us.
…The myths never have a single meaning, once and for all and finished. They have something greater; they have meaning itself. If you hang a crystal sphere in the window it will give off light from all parts of itself, That is how the myths are; they have meaning for me, for you, and for everyone else. A true symbol has always this multisidedness. It has something to say to all who approach it.
…Take as an instance the story of Galileo.
Galileo is not a myth; he is in all the history books where you will read the undoubted fact that at a time when it was believed that the sun moved round the earth, Galileo dared to assert that the very opposite was true, that the earth moved round the sun. Under pressure, however, and on pain of death, he was forced to deny his truth. Thus he was able to save his life; but as he turned away from recanting he muttered firmly into his beard: 'Eppur si muove'
- Nevertheless, it moves. The story is known to everyone. Galileo is famous for the 'Eppur si muove'; but the recantation of his recantation has nowhere been recorded. How could it have been?
The only people near enough to hear it were his inquisitors, and had they heard it, his fat would have been in the fire. He never said 'Eppur si muove' - except, of course, in his accurate heart.
But in its unconscious shaping of the hero, the folk required that it be said, the story required that it be said; the truth had somehow to be told that Galileo was not a liar. So, mythologically, Galileo was required to say it. It is a truth but it is not a fact.”
It is a truth, but it is not a fact.
That is the realm of the Lightweavers.
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dumbdomb · 2 years ago
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allowing me to stay over in your guest room which has, unbeknownst to me, been created into a fully inescapable- yet seemingly safe and normal bedroom. it's true purpose has always been to be the dungeon you'd keep me in so you could prove your loyal devotion to me.
the first night you focus on making sure i'm comfortable and at ease. hidden cameras detail my sleeping schedule and you're prepared for the next phase. we spend some time together during the second day, but mostly you're preparing for something special that evening... at night, once i've fallen asleep, you begin.
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dimly lit monitors power on to display obscenely pornographic content, hidden speakers play binaural and hypnotic audio, and soon i am surrounded by a barrage of subliminal ideas designed to coerce me into becoming more deviant. the moment i stir awake, everything is shut off automatically. i've no idea what is going on, but my head feels fuzzy.
during the day, i seem a bit out of it, but otherwise don't notice anything unusual. like a vacation, i finally begin to relax after a few days. on the fifth night, you continue this nightly programming and increase the volume and lighting just so. when i wake, i catch a glimpse of my surroundings that immediately fall silent and i question whether i saw anything.
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in the morning i notice some of the clothes i don't wear often have been replaced with similar, yet more revealing styles. i angrily question you about going through my belongings and you act so unaware, surprised, and frightened that someone may have broken into your house that i actually believe you. i help you get new locks and install security cameras to watch over all entrances and windows. i ask you to stay in the room with me that night, and you make a bed on the floor next to mine. nothing more happens, a few uneventful days pass...
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i suggest you move back to your own room, feeling silly for being scared, you only continue to build my trust in you by comforting me and making me feel safe. everything will change soon enough, bc while i visit a friend during the day, your plans to move into the third phase begin.
all my clothes are replaced with very revealing styles, except for my usual pajamas that i lay out each day. i don't see you when i get back, but figure you're out or taking a nap. i don't know you've changed anything yet, keeping to my new routines in your home. by the time we usually have dinner together, you join me a bit later than usual. and when i retire to bed, it's all so mundane.
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while i sleep, you turn on the programs. they increase as i squirm in bed, getting louder and more visible. this time, when i wake up, everything stays on as i look around startled and confused. i try to use the remote to turn off the tv, but nothing i do works. i decide to leave the room, scared to stay inside with all the overwhelming perversion around me. when i try to open the door, it's locked. the windows appear to be locked from the outside... i yell out for help, not wanting to believe the situation i'm in, and the obscene volume increases. the more i yell, the louder it gets, until my screams are nearly indistinguishable from the loud moans and cries of pain and pleasure. i go back to bed and cover my head, trying to make it all stop and i somehow manage to fall asleep again.
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in the morning, i wake up like normal. as if it were all just a horribly bad dream. i go take a shower and when i look for something to wear, all my clothes are gone. i'm in a towel, my used pajamas already added to the laundry bin in the other room, and all the clothes i have to wear are not mine. i go to leave the room and the door is locked, just like in my dream. i hear you yell out that breakfast will be ready soon, and i should hurry up so it doesn't get cold. how can you be so normal when something strange is going on here? i find the most "comfortable" outfit i can to make do, and after getting dressed the door is unlocked, like i was never locked in to begin with... i felt so confused and wanted to tell you, but i also felt overcome with shame. was it just my mind playing tricks on me?!? ♡
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mothwingwritings · 1 year ago
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R & Y for baki please <3 it can be mixed
Thank yooou! Here's some love for our titular boy loool <3
Warnings: Mentions of confinement, being held against your will, and one sided affection
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Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
In moments of lucidity, Baki would feel very guilty. What right did he have to pluck you up off the street and hold you against your will? He’s forced you into confinement like you were some kind of criminal, turning your life upside down. It was selfish, it was cruel, and it robbed you of everything and everyone you loved in your life. He was your world now, and even though he earnestly felt that was for the best and knew he loved you more than any other human possibly could, he also knew how lonely this confinement made you. Every time he saw that sad look in your eyes, your body slumped over in dejection and fear as you sat in the corner of his barren room refusing to speak with him, it broke his heart. You were his shining, vibrant, brilliant love and he alone had made you lose your luster.
Deep down he knew he just was chasing after a phantom feeling of affection, the dream of having a loving and doting partner by his side spurring him to do something outrageous. He was disappointed in himself, disgusted for having betrayed your trust. Any positive bond he had formed with you was certainly destroyed at this point, any actual love you felt for him has gone clear out the window. When he gets into these guilt-ridden spirals he wonders if it was all worth it, if potentially demolishing the once natural attachment you shared with him was something that was truly necessary or desired by him. It eats him up more than he will ever let on, he never wanted to be the villain in your life.
However, it’s only a matter of time before he reverts to his default mindset and realizes that there is no reason to be beating himself up over all this. You may be upset or momentarily hurt, but in the end he did this for your own benefit. He is protecting you and providing for you in ways no one else can, he’ll never let any misfortune befall you as long as you are at his side. True, maybe his home isn’t the most spacious or as clean as it could be, but its world’s better then leaving you to fend for yourself on the outside. He’ll always strive to make your life better, even if you can’t necessarily see that that’s what is happening.
He loves you with all that he is, so even if it hurts or confuses you in the process, it will all be worth it in the end. When you finally realize how well off you are none of the grievances of the present will matter any longer. Your future with him is bright and full of happiness, how can it not be when he is pouring so much of himself into providing you an ideal life?
He just has to keep telling himself that until that day arrives.
As far as letting you go, I think after a lot of time and discussion Baki would be willing to let you go once he truly understands it’s in your best interest. When it comes down to it, he really does love you and want your happiness, so after an extended amount of time if his methods continue to not work, or make you actively worse, he will bite the bullet and do what’s best for you. It will be the hardest choice he has ever had to make, but he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if you lost yourself entirely due to his greed and infatuation. He’ll always cling on to hope though, saving himself for you so that one day in the future you may come back ready to give him another chance, this time of your own accord.
Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
Your relationship with Baki actually starts off pretty normal. You met, became good acquaintances, which led to friendship and then blossomed into him becoming one of your best friends. At some point in that time frame, it struck him that while he loved your companionship and affection as his close confidant and buddy, he wanted, or rather needed something much more than that with you.
Baki is a pretty patient person, but the moment he realizes his feelings for you run deeper than just mere friendship, it’s over.  The second he comes to terms with just how deeply he cares for you he becomes obsessed with making you aware of it, unable to contain his unbridled excitement over the revelation. It’s all so exhilarating and intoxicating, and he just knows the instant he tells you you’ll be thrilled too. He loves you so deeply, so fully, how did he not realize this sooner? You two are meant to be together, literally made for each other, he was blind not to see what was before him! You were veritable soul mates, and that thought flooded his chest with butterflies, made his stomach do flips. Maybe he was the only one out of the loop, he wondered if you had long since realized this and were just patiently waiting for Baki to make a move? How embarrassing, he’ll have to make it up tenfold as soon as he sees you.
So he rushes to you and wastes no time confessing, ardent feelings gushing from within him as he bares his heart for you in a torrent of flowery words, barely able to catch his breath as he goes on and on, making sure to leave nothing unsaid. He’s expecting you to respond with a smile, or maybe even happy tears or an embarrassed little blush, but you just… stare at him. There’s no pleased grin that lights up your face, no playful chiding over how long it took him to catch on and confess, no enveloping hug as you leap into his arms in sheer joy. You just looked at him blankly until you eventually avert your gaze, awkwardly focusing anywhere but him as you apologize, telling him you only saw him as your dear friend and nothing more.
Oh.
THIS is the only time he truly pines.
He tried to accept it, really he did, but damned if it wasn’t hard. And things were so… weird after his confession. You kept your distance, dodging any physical contact Baki tried to give you. You didn’t smile at him like you used to, or joke around with him till the wee hours of the morning. You always loved his hugs, but now you shrank away from them, denying him the pleasure of feeling your warm, inviting body against his own. And as more time passed, he saw less and less of you overall, his hang out requests always responded to with convenient flimsy excuses.
He ached for you. His body, his soul, every part of him yearned for you, desperately craving your attention and affection. Your absence was profound and painful and after a solid three weeks had passed without any response to him or you reaching out once, he knew he had to take matters into his own hands.
Baki didn’t blame you for your behavior. How he went about his confession was all wrong, and in the end, it ended up unnerving you a bit. He just got too excited and worked up over the thought of becoming official with you, but he realized now how he was far too eager in his execution. Just like how your bond formed originally, you needed time to get used to him not just as Baki your friend, but Baki your lover. And the best way to do that was to give you plenty of time alone together, with no outside distractions to interrupt you.
He spent a long time getting his home ready for your arrival. Your favorite snacks filled his pantry, a new toothbrush ready and waiting for you in the bathroom. He even bought you some new clothes he knows will look adorable on you (as well as some underwear/lingerie he’s very much looking forward to seeing you in) and some books/magazines/games to keep you entertained. It’s going to be great-just the two of you hanging out, getting to know each other in a whole new light, which will grant you the time to realize your true feelings. Spending so much time together in such close corners is a sure fire way to ignite the flames of passion within you, right? There’s no way your dormant feelings of love won’t be aroused by your new living situation.
Just thinking about it was getting him excited all over again.
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alpaca-clouds · 11 months ago
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Why do "conservatives" love the middle ages so much?
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Let me talk about this one topic regarding the middle ages and how they are portrayed in pop culture, but especially how a certain subset of people are very, very loud about it. And I with that I mean conservatives, or - let's be honest - right wingers.
We all know "sword guys", right? As someone, who was for a time part of the LARP scene, I knew actually several "sword guys". Like, nerds that collect sword replicas, at times even armor replica and then spend their weekends running around and playing "medieval knight".
In of itself this is not a problem. Everyone needs a hobby, right? But... I think that sword guys are actually a good window into what is happening the entire thing with the conservatives/right-wingers and the middle ages.
See, whenever anything medieval related is released anywhere - no matter whether it is pseudo-historic or outright fantasy - there is gonna be a wholeass army of nerds who will then come along and decry all sorts of stuff that they do not like as "ahistorical".
You know. Stuff like women getting shit done, or being in a position of power. Queer people existing. Or people of color doing the same: existing.
And yes, in fact there is a whole subset of "nerds", who are very vocal about what can only be described a "mythic past". As in, a past that has never existed. This is not really a new phenomena. This is something that mostly has its origin in 19th century Europe and it is called Medievalism.
I am not really interested in going into the origins of medievalism and how it is connected partly to the romantic movement. All you need to know is, that the Nazis were really, really into it - as were other fascist movements in medieval Europe.
There is a reason for this, of course. And this is linked to one of the cores of rightwing mythologies: A very toxic nostalgia and the idealization of that mythic past. Which is, ironically, also closely linked to capitalism.
Let me explain: A core part of both conservatism and ideas that are even further right are based on the idea that they want to either conserve a status quo - or more likely return to a past status-quo. And this is something that became more attractive specifically to a certain subsect of men under capitalism.
Under capitalism most people kinda feel alienated from their work and even society. Because most people feel like there is not much use in what they do and their work is not valued in all the important ways. And let me be clear: This is true. And this was true from the very beginning of capitalism. The working class is exploited, was exploited and always will be exploited.
This is also one of the core reasons for why right wing ideologies are so attractive to certain people is, that they give them an easy scapegoat in all the minorities they are blaming for... everything. "No, the problem that you are exploited is not capitalism, it is a Jewish conspiracy!" - "No, the reason you feel so alienated is not capitalism, it is 'the woke mob'." And so on.
And here is where medievalism comes in. Because it provides these people with a fantasy for them. A time where all was right (from their point of view) and where they would have been honored and could have been heroes. A time when they would have been knights and would have saved their distressed damsel. A time at which the gays were hung or burned, in which there was no feminism and of course Black people did not yet exist.
Of course, the reality is that in the medieval times they would not have been a heroic knight, but a peasant working on the field or - if lucky - maybe a tradesman. They might have been called in to fight, but it would have been a rather miserable and not at all heroic affair.
But they want that fantasy of that past in which all of the problems, they perceive in the present, have not existed. A past, in which they would have been seen as more valuable than capitalism sees them. In which they would have been honored just for being white guys.
This is a past, that never existed. But they want to believe in it - because right wing ideologies of course do not offer them any actual solutions for their problem. Because again: Their actual problem is capitalism, and right wing propaganda exists precisely to distract from this fact.
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alki-studio · 5 months ago
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Bookbinding Process (1/2): The Wolf Queen, from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
I have a very exciting comission— I’m binding The Wolf Queen, an in-game novel from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. I’ve never played the game, but my client told me they enjoy collecting and reading the books in the game. According to the Elder Scrolls wiki, there are apparently 820 of them! I’m binding the one of the longer stories, which is actually broken up into 8 volumes.
In researching, it seems that the volumes seem to take on completely different binding styles, but we agreed on the style shown here. We also decided to condense these volumes into 1 book— the entire story is only about 12k words, and while the handwritten large text works well for reading the story on a small in-game window on your monitor, it’s not really practical for a physical book. That, and even if I were to print these true to size for the game, each volume would still be about 40 pages, which only equates to 10 sheets of folded paper, so it wouldn’t make for a very robust collection on the shelf.
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You can see that these books in this game are actually quite weathered, and it seems like all the paper is unevenly torn. If we were to equate Skyrim’s time period with our own based on technology, it’s likely these pages would have been parchment. The in-game textures definitely support this, even for the bindings that seem to be a few centuries ahead of their time.
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We agreed that antiqued cotton paper would be a suitable alternative, as enough parchment for this project would run a couple thousand dollars as-is, and I don’t believe I have the equipment necessary to print on it. I needed something with a quick turnaround for this project, so I went with this paper in the ‘Vintage Deckle’ finish in the A4 size. According to one review, it’s also short-grained, so it’s actually ideal for bookbinding.
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Typesetting
I’m using Adobe InDesign to typeset this, but it can also be done with Word and other alternatives.
Here’s a guide by ArmoredSuperHeavy on tumblr.
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I think Bethesda owns the font used in the Elder Scrolls games, but there is a dupe of it on dafont.com called Cyrodiil. However, it definitely feels and reads more as a modern font; it was designed with readability after all. I’m definitely going for something that feels like a Celtic manuscript, based both on the decorative Celtic knot tooling, and the Gaelic look of the font. I eventually found Kelmscott, which carries the same Gaelic characteristics as Cyrodiil, and is still relatively easy to read, but feels more calligraphic.
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I also downloaded Medieval Victoriana for the decorative first letters of each chapter.
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To typeset the text, I followed a tutorial article by Grace Fussell and Adobe’s guide for creating book files.
I wanted the text to look dense and almost glyphic, as many old medieval manuscripts do, while still being easy enough to read. I played around with the paragraph tools and eventually settled on this layout. While certainly not all manuscripts have multiple columns, I want this typesetting to really break the boundaries seen in most modern prints of books, so I decided on this two-column format. Some manuscripts keep the text frame smaller and in the center of the page, much like you see in later centuries when the printing area was restricted by a press, but once again, I want to emphasize the look of ‘handwritten’ manuscript, so I made sure to use wide margins.
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Some other fun details I added were glyphs at the beginning of each chapter, and surrounding the page numbers.
I exported the file for print with InDesign’s ‘Print Booklet’ feature, with the 2-up perfect bound with a signature size of 8 (2 pieces of paper/4 spreads/8 text pages).
Text Block
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Here’s the printed and folded signatures! I’m really pleased with how these came out— it has the exact weathered look I was trying to emulate from in-game. As an added bonus, since the source material wasn’t particularly long, the thickness of the paper (150gsm) gave the text block a good amount of volume.
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Out of lack of good online reference, my client ended up sending me photos of the book in-game. I was excited to realize this book seems to be bound on cords or leather straps— kind of difficult to tell from the model. We decided to go with a slit leather strap.
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I couldn’t find a great reference image of the stitch for this, but I used the same technique of punching and sewing my signatures as this double cord instructional from The Thames and Hudson Manual of Book Binding.
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Endpaper
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I definitely wanted to go for a more traditional endpaper, so I looked at what I had in my stash of marbled paper. I was initially drawn to this Renato Crepaldi peackock marble I got from Hollander’s, which has a beautiful red that screams “medieval” to me, but Skyrim is a cold place, so I was also drawn to go for this blizzard-esque marble. Though, I ultimately decided on this dark blue/indigo paper I got from the Paper Source.
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I went for the indigo because the protagonist of this novel I’m binding, Potema Septim, the Wolf Queen herself, is associated with the color purple. Since the goal of this binding was to recreate an in-game item as it would be in-game, a bookbinder in Skyrim would also most likely want to make design choices reflecting the contents of this specific book. Or maybe they’d be illiterate and just go for the red. Either way, my client also liked the dark indigo, so that’s what we went with.
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This endpaper is the cover weight of De Milo Design’s line of paper called Sustain & Heal. It’s fair trade, handmade in Bangladesh, from jute fibers.
It also has deckled edges, so I made sure to align my cuts to use that, and I tore the rest by hand to keep the natural edges consistent. This is a bit of an unconventional aesthetic choice, but it stemmed from that it’d be odd if the fly leafs were straight cut with the rest of the text block so extremely deckled.
Headbands
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Keeping with the purple/indigo/blue theme, I made two-colored headbands around jute cord with DCM embroidery floss in colors 31 and 796. I basically used the technique outlined here. In retrospect though I’d recommend doing a big double endband or something bulky with this paper, since the deckled edges tend to push the endband back towards the spine and hide it.
Please continue reading here!
Process: Part 1 | Part 2 | Final Result
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arminsgffr · 8 months ago
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Smoking by the window
Armin x reader
Disclaimer: reader smokes, actually don’t know if vaping is considered smoking, but you get what I mean. modern au, idk
I wanted to portrait how Armin doesn’t want people to kind of idealize him as this pure boy, who is not able to even kill a mosquito. Who doesn’t ever do bad things on purpose. And how he wants to be abke to be the protector and not the protected.
This is my first post. English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance if there’s any misspelling. Hope you enjoy!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
The universe is so big. We’re basically nothing. Little stupid things. Minuscule. It’s kind of a triggering thought, to know you don’t really matter, and that it doesn’t really matter what you do in this world. But then, you can use it as an excuse to do whatever you want, right?
Smoking by the window is a thing now. A thing that I do when I’m overwhelmed, or numb, or bored, or… existing. Even now, that Armin is asleep beside me, I couldn’t help the desire of taking out my vape and use it. It’s two in the morning, the perfect hour. That feeling of nothingness emerged so suddenly, I’m starting to like it at this point. The vapor coming out of my lips is pretty. I look down my side, Armin’s prettier. He looks so peaceful, relaxed. I can’t believe he ended up with someone like me. Someone with a lost future, when he has such a bright one. I inhale, again and again, till getting a little dizzy. I actually have grown really fond of the feeling.
— Honey…? — I hear Armin say, sleepy. He’s trying to open his eyes. — What time is it? —
He sited on the bed, with his beautiful eyes not fully open, tired back, looking at me with a confused face, trying to figure out what was happening. He looked really cute.
— Oh, shit, sorry. Did I wake you up? — I said in a low voice.
— Not exactly… — He made a pause. — What are you doing? —
—Just vaping a little bit, I was about to go back to sleep, anyway. —
He giggled, more awake. — We both know that’s not true. — he said, with that expression he made when he was saying something ‘obvious’. I just smiled at him. — Can I try? —
— What? — I said a little shoked.
He let out a little, soft laugh. — Can I try? — He repeat it, slowly, pointing at the vape in my hands.
— Are you sure? I don’t really want you to, I got to be honest. What if you like it? — I said with a worried tone.
— What if I like it? — He thought there was really nothing totally wrong. Well, maybe he did, I can’t speak for him.
— I don’t want you to like it. —
He didn’t reply, he just left silence. I could tell he was thinking. I get why he would want to try, but no. He can’t go down that path.
— You treat me like I’m a fragile… pure thing. I’m not. I’m a person. — The golden like hair boy said.
— Yeah, and as a person, I don’t want to fuck up yourself. You know I’m not the best influence. —
— Fine. But really, don’t treat me like I don’t do anything wrong, and like you’re gonna spoil me. —
— But, what if I do? — I really resented having such a screwed life.
— Honey…— He got closer to me, taking me in he’s arms. — You won’t, I promise. I love you. —
— I love you more. — I said, looking at him.
We just stayed like that a little longer. I was falling asleep, when he realized and laid my head down, still hugging me. He took the vape from my hands and put it in the nightstand. He was so warm and comfortable to hug. He moved me closer to him, while resting his head, softly, on top of mine. He was holding me like a porcelain doll, with al the caring and welcomeness of the world. Like I was he’s most precious treasure, but still a person to care about.
— You are the one who deserves to be treated like a fragile, not thing. I want to be the one that looks after you and protects you. Please let me. — He said, softly and loving. I just hugged him tighter and, indeed, let him. And for a moment. For that moment, everything stopped feeling so meaningless. Instead of knowing we were all stupid nothings, I genuinely believed that it was just Armin and me in all universe. And that I wasn’t that meaningless either. I was something in Armin’s life, apparently. So I’m gonna make sure I’m a good something for him.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
A really short thingy, but I guess is not that bad for being the first one shot. Anyway, hope you liked it :)
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an-au-blog · 1 year ago
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I have a horrible au idea...
cw: mention of human experimentation, child abuse, violence, panic attacks etc
(if anyone writes this pls send me link or tag me or something)
Modern au (with the og 5) where the strawhats are true crime content creators and like to dig in old cases, visit "haunted houses" and urban legends.
When one day they start looking at the Vinsmoke family's child disappearance case. There was almost no evidence and the Vinsmokes weren't even the ones who filed in the missing persons report. It was one of the private tutors they had. He was fired afterwards. The case was deemed a cold case and officially closed. The Vinsmokes moved to Germany and left a huge mansion behind. No one wanted to buy or maintain it. Many thought that they covered it up. There were too many oddities around the family.
So obviously Luffy decided to break into their old mansion. It's been almost 10 years since they moved. So they didn't expect any inhabitants.
They found the top floors abandoned and dusty (as expected). Creaking and spiders on the walls only added to the uneasy feeling that a standard haunted mansion vibe. The lower floors looked like someone actually came once in a while but they thought it's because a lot of people came here on dares or like them: for content.
What they weren't expecting was to hear noises from the cellar. Or attic? Whatever was down there... it was behind a wall and it sounded like crying. They couldn't find a way to bust down the walls but Nami and Usopp found the crack of the entrance and they cranked ot open.
It was what looked like a hiden prison with only a window for air to come in with bars on it. When the secret door thing was open, the crying stopped. They called out if anyone was there. No answer.
Bloodstains and rotting rat carcasses were on the floor. There was an operation bed and a cabinet of chemicals, syringes and other rusted tools. When one of them pointed it out there was a sound that came from the locked room.
It was obvious at this point someone was in there. They opened to see, to their horror that there was a skinny blond boy shriveled in the corner. Shivering and holding his hands up to protect himself.
He kept flinching and the surprising cries get louder every time any of the boys tried to approach him, he keeps getting full on panic attacks. The only person that didn't evoke that kind of reaction was Nami. (She looked a like his sister: short light hair (plus pink and orange look alike in the dark) and the rest of the men from his family used to abuse him) He was almost entirely nonverbal but a dna test confirmed that he was the Vindmoke's missing son: Sanji.
He slowly started warming up to the rest. He was going through a rehabilitation program but they kept visiting him. He started warming up to Usopp first. Sanji kept staring at his hair. The first time they saw him smiling was when Usopp let him play with his curls. The next to make him cheer up was Luffy. At first Luffy kept his distance because he felt so horrible he couldn't do anything and he couldn't bare to see Sanji act like that at the mere sight of him. But once he heard Usopp was a "safe" person, he did everything in his power to make Sanji laugh. The only one who Sanji never opened up to was Zoro. With his stature and green hair, he looked too much like Yonji. Zoro stopped going into the hospital room. He just waited in front of the room or in the car. He knew when he was unwanted.
That was until he finally revived and could leave the hospital. Nami couldn't come because of her finals, Luffy had to to pay his brother bail and Usopp was left preparing the surprised "party" for Sanji's release (it was going to be just them and a few family members like Nami's sister, Usopp's fiance etc).
It wasn't ideal, but Zoro was stuck picking him up. Sanji stayed at least 3 meters away from him at all times. When they got to the car three weirdly dressed men with colourful hair tried to approach them. Sanji started getting a panic attack, all the progress they've made down the drain. Zoro told them to fuck off but they kept walking closer. So he started fighting them. The security of the hospital got involved. And a mental note for a restraining order was made.
After that Sanji no longer saw Zoro as a copy of Yonji, but as a big guard dog to hide behind.
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