#I even drew some *very* rough art to go with it

[ink--theory]

I have neither the will or patience to draw a comic at the moment so writing it is (*^▽^*)

[alienssstufff]

This Should've Been an Email

His mouth moved without it telling it to, then closed like whoever was possessing him didn’t know what to say either. There was something going on, something Etho could feel but didn’t understand. They were standing on the edge of the world, and Etho didn’t know how to tell Bdubs he was out of time. Was he out of time? Maybe he was just going insane again. Maybe-

“Etho, there’s a lot of void energy going on right now, can you focus-”

You can’t outsmart a god. You can only run.

-

[ READ HERE ] Latest addition to the Should've Could've Would've series and sequel to the YCAOverse byyyy incredible great @goingdownorup cinemaaaa is HERE and we are BACK IN THE BUILDING!!!

[rambling undercut]

you've fallen for my trap card, ramblings not about the actual fic yet sorry - I'm going to talk about art technicalities at you now :]

Ver without the text:

I drew this up on a whim immediately after finishing the first chapter. Other than it being fanart, this year I want to think smarter when making elaborate pieces - this being the one of the first experiments on it.

sketches have always been my starting foundation I usually go through a few iterations gradually building off the rough thumbnail all the way to lineart. Here I'm establishing perspective and rhythm (movement), using background and props to better frame the emphasis (focal) rather than overwhelm the eye with unnecessary detail.

Shirahama's Witch Hat Atelier manga panels were an inspiration for the lineart (reoccuring character. WHA changed my life)

I even started actually putting base colours instead of skipping to shading... BASE COLOURS. BASE COLOURS WITHOUT SHADING? Crazy world we live in. Above were me testing which colours worked best for the background and purpose. Ethubs look a little out of place atm - this changes in solid filters

Shading itself was a lot of back and forth in constant fumbles to maintain the rhythm instructed in the lineart, adding emphasis how values needed to carry the visual communication of this piece especially with a line heavy background because of the wheatfields. Everything uses either cel shading, filters, or gradients - I wanted to find a way to add complexity to my regular rendering style without needing to manually blend/paint (takes too long)

During this stage, Heikala's watercolour art was the study in crowd control (backgrounds with organic repetition)

Smaller misc details that couldn't fit anywhere in the previous pages. Overall while there are some things I still would change/redo, overall very pleased as a first (second) attempt ^_^

[destielnoirbang]

When he drew level, he chanced a glance over at the other man, who turned when he sensed that he’d become a subject of scrutiny. Dean’s breath stopped in his throat. The man’s jaw was sharp as a word spoken in anger, his skin pale and clean-shaven. Long, graceful fingers played idly with one of the free Funtime Liquors matchbooks as he waited. His eyes promised mischief and mysteries. Dean wouldn’t have been surprised to learn the man had just stepped out of a movie screen.Too late, he realized he was staring, and then only because the man’s plump lips had twitched slightly on one side. Dean cleared his throat. “Merry Christmas,” he said. “Merry Christmas to you too, officer,” the man returned. Dean flinched, feeling caught out. Whoever the man was, he was clearly smart if plainclothes didn’t fool him. “That obvious?” he asked. When Dean chanced another glance at the man, he was still looking back, humor glinting in his eyes. “It’s practically stamped on your forehead.” Maybe Dean ought to have taken that for the dismissal it likely was, but the bit of humor in the man’s gaze felt almost akin to a smile. Most men wouldn’t smile at someone they wanted gone. “Haven’t I seen you in a movie?” Dean tried. The man dropped his head with a low, rough chuckle. Dean fought down a surge of embarrassment. A handsome man in a well-cut suit, five blocks from Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, where all the most glamorous Hollywood premieres took place? It wasn’t too outrageous a guess. Dean was about to tell the man “never mind” when he caught Dean’s eyes again and said, “It’s unlikely. Unless you happened to pay very close attention to Youth Number 3 in the opening scene of It Came From Saturn's Rings.” “You were in that?” Dean asked eagerly. This time, there was no fighting the heat on his face. He had a great weakness for science fiction movies, and he remembered seeing a screening of It Came From Saturn's Rings on opening night some three years back. Even working in Hollywood for as long as he had, he’d never stopped being a little starry-eyed about anybody who’d graced the silver screen. His question got him an interesting reaction: the man’s head tipped to the side, his eyes narrowing, the better to study Dean. For the first time, he seemed to put some actual stock in their conversation. “You��ve seen it?” “Yeah,” Dean confirmed, embarrassingly pleased to have found this patch of common ground between them. “It was good.” It hadn’t been anything special, in truth, but the man was smiling in earnest now, one side of those plush lips curving up, and Dean thought he’d do just about anything to keep that smile going.

- Code of Silence

by @friendofcarlotta, art by @rezal-art

Available Now On Ao3!

[hyruleinterviews]

Quotes on the real-life counterparts of some quirky characters

Via GlitterBerri's Game Translations (1998), Iwata Asks (2011), and Nintendo Life (2025)

Quote 1:

PEOPLE:

Takaya Imamura, age 58. Art Director of Majora’s Mask. Designer of tingle, the titular Majora’s Mask, and the Moon.

QUOTE: "Q: So I know you’re very famous for creating Tingle - was there anything specific that really inspired you to make him?

Imamura: The background and the lore of the character was decided beforehand and I was only responsible for the visuals. Basically, I found a guy on the team and drew a caricature and there was Tingle!"

Quote 2:

PEOPLE:

Kazuaki Morita, age 45. Programmer on Ocarina of Time.

Yoshiki Haruhana, age 41. Ocarina of Time Character Artist.

Satoru Iwata, age 51. President of Nintendo.

QUOTE: "Morita: I also worked on the fishing minigame [for Ocarina].

Aonuma: You didn't just do the programming, but you also wrote the script for the Pond Owner. …

Haruhana: … Morita-san made lots of requests regarding that character's face and movements. He requested specific movements … and even drew a rough sketch of how his face should look.

Iwata: Did you make so many requests because that character was modeled after someone real?

Morita: Yes, that's right! [laughs] I like fishing and I'm from an area near Neyagawa in Osaka, and there's a fishing store I used to go to in that neighborhood. My model was the shopkeeper there."

Quote 3:

PEOPLE:

Yoshiki Haruhana, age 28. Ocarina of Time Character Designer.

Mitsuhiro Takano, age 31. Ocarina of Time Project Coordinator.

QUOTE: "Haruhana: There are more than 60 characters in Ocarina of Time! One character takes about 2-3 days to make, so our schedule is always uncertain. We just have to go from one to the next.

Fellow staff-member Takano once told me, ‘All the people you make turn out to be freaks.’ I never intend to do that! My response is always ‘Oh, is that so?’ [laughs] For example, Dampe the gravekeeper is a hunchback, right?

In Kakariko Village, there’s a guy sitting by himself on top of a house. It was also never my intention to make a character similar to myself, but afterwards 5 people said to me ‘Hey, that’s you!’"

[kuradex]

I wanna know about your art style. How you draw like that??

i tried putting down considerations as well as a (very) general step by step of what i do; if there's anything more specific you want me to explain lmk i guess?

first off, general (self imposed) constraints / purpose of project -- this informs what i draw & how i draw it

i.e. "kuradex" is pretty different from my normal art (my 5 latest rough illustrations):

or my monster hunter charms:

or my pokemon tcg contest illustrations that im not allowed to show until june (😉):

although i've said its for merch purposes, ive started drawing these because i wanted to practice conveying "liveliness" and noticing key features / nuances of a given design, but i didn't want to spend a large amount of time on each one.

so what i came up with is

i want to draw things on-model in terms of proportions ( + take note of weight / tapering of shapes / etc )

no backgrounds & minimal "props"

experiment with / practice line/texture/color/flow/rhythm/etc

spend <1 hr on each pokemon on average (this is a bit more difficult for me to track, but for example, the cyndaquil line took me less than 42min to color, combined, and means at some point in time instead of focusing on cleaning up the art as much as i can, i stop after cleaning up most of it)

that said, the pose & the rhythm/flow of lines are key in conveying liveliness, and if i have a concept in mind i usually end up going with it, but i may go thru a few if i dont.

i consider pokemon origin / lore or a key point in its design, and if i'm particularly stuck, i try looking up pokemon card illustrations for inspiration. (i noticed the research i do is essentially a truncated version of how Atsushi Furusawa does research before doing an illustration.

(& even despite all this i do get stuck sometimes and don't exactly understand a pokemon and just opt for "as cute or cool as i can make it i guess?", but i think it's part of the process...?) (theoretically things that are A Shape should be really easy to draw but with what i want to practice in perspective i find them difficult...)

this is from my latest paid req but these are my first sketches of chesnaught -- i was thinking of how one of its inspirations is a warrior / tanker from RPGs, so i drew a pose where it's shielding its face.

i do another pass and take note of details.

in general i draw overlapping shapes and erase (it's a bit visible on one of the spikes)

because i opt for quickness i start coloring at this point -- i just use a colored "color burn" sketch layer for the "lineart" & colorpick official art & lay down messy flats & set the color layer to 60%

60% multiply layer for shadows. i tend to use both hard and soft brushes

for bigger projects i would use 2-3 shadow layers to create more "layered" shadows

here i use overlay layer (60%). this is just throwing colors at it and seeing what works and doesn't work. i personally prefer to throw red under the eye and a yellow or blue near the top of the head. this is mostly done with a soft brush

before this point, everything is under the rough lines, but now i start drawing/painting over it

i just color pick the colors that have been laid down from the previous steps and clean up / render textures (making the green on its arms look fuzzy) / fixing anything that i forgot or looks too off (i.e. the spike on its shoulder and the way the tail curves)

I could potentially keep cleaning this up, but this is where i usually stop 🫡

[thatonegenshinsimp]

Binding and Blinding (Alhaitham x fem!reader NSFW)

Notes: You guys thought you were getting some wholesome shit, but you were wrong, it’s all angst. I swear it’s like the first time I’ve ever written half of this stuff on this intense of a level and actually put any sort of effort into it so it’s probably not all that great, but I hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

Warnings: NSFW, unprotected sex, fem!reader, sub!reader, riding, bondage (Shibari), doggy style, spanking, sensory deprivation (blindfold), overstimulation, edging, dacryphilia, use of safeword (kinda??? Reader can’t say it because of how overwhelmed she is), rough sex, sappy feelings n’ shit, Alhaitham being the mean dom we all know he is but then being a big softie toward the end

NSFW, minors DNI, by scrolling further past this point, you have chosen to read the content below of your own accord!

You were a very bubbly and chatty individual, always willing to talk with people whenever you had the chance, and a stark contrast to your boyfriend. However, what truly drew Alhaitham to you at first was the way you handled things. You always took great care to plan ahead when doing things, and rarely cowered away in fear from any sort of intimidating situation because of said planning. However, when he got into a relationship with you, and more specifically, started getting intimate with you, he found that the one thing that truly terrified you was not having any way of knowing how to plan for things ahead of time.

You had been talking to Kaveh almost the entire evening at the bar, not paying Alhaitham any attention whatsoever. Since his roommate was spending the night in Ghandarvaville, he had you all to himself, and there was something he’d been wanting to try for a while now. In your eyes, sex was the ultimate show of love that anyone could give their significant other. However, there were times when your dear lover saw it as a stress reliever. That was what scared you, him seeing something so important to you as another tool to use to make his life easier and less stressful. You’d never told him how much it meant to you, but he had a small inkling that you liked more vanilla things in the bedroom than him. However, you agreed to try everything he suggested at least once, and unfortunately, tonight was another experimental night in the sheets. It didn’t help that he was annoyed at his roommate for taking all of your attention tonight, which also made him annoyed with you, which in turn added to his foul mood and therefore his stress and anger. The walk home was silent, with him tightly holding your hand the entire way back to his place. You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, trying to reassure him that you had eyes for him only, but instead of squeezing it back, he started walking faster.

You knew that tonight was going to be a long one when he told you to go up to his room. The moment you’d disappeared upstairs and closed the door, he grabbed the bag he’d gotten earlier that month when he’d traveled to Inazuma. He took out the teal silk rope and the matching silk blindfold from the bag, looking at the stairs. Shibari, which originated in Inazuma, was an activity that was a type of bondage, but could also serve as art, depending on the mood of the situation it was used in. Alhaitham had extensively researched it once the silk ropes had arrived from Liyue. As for the blindfold, he’d be using that on you as well tonight. He had memorized how to tie the knots using the rope, and he certainly knew how to tie a blindfold to where it wouldn’t fall off. He’d always wanted to try sensory deprivation on your sight, since he’d already done so with your hearing using his headphones. Since it had been so well received, and had left you panting and begging for more even when your legs were shaking, he wanted to try taking one of your other senses, which was, of course, sight.

He walked upstairs and opened the door to his bedroom, noticing how you turned shy under his gaze when you looked at him. “We’re trying something new tonight, two things, in fact. I’ve been researching the art of Shibari over the past few weeks, so I know how to tie the ropes, and I’ll be able to tie the blindfold easily. However, I’m still going to teach you a lesson tonight about paying too much attention to other men like you did at dinner. Get on the bed.” he said, watching as you nervously nodded and got on the bed. He focused on tying the ropes, making sure you couldn’t move when he tied your wrists together. He then gave you one last annoyed look before tying the blindfold over your eyes, knotting it at the back of your head. “Are you uncomfortable anywhere?” he asked, watching as you shook your head. You were much more flinchy now, but in all honesty, it gave him some sort of sick satisfaction that you were nervous. Whenever you were nervous, you didn’t like showing it, so to see you like this was truly a treat in his eyes. He needed to relieve himself of the stress from tonight, and this was the perfect way to do it. Alhaitham leaned in close to you and gently kissed your neck, watching as you shivered. You were speechless, almost as if he’d taken your ability to speak. He chuckled softly, the noise serving to make you shudder as a chill traveled up your spine. He didn’t waste any time on preparing you to take him, you didn’t deserve his touch, tonight. He slowly pulled back the covers and let you get under them, watching as you pressed your legs together and rubbed your thighs together to get some sort of friction. He slowly undressed and let his clothes drop to the floor, before getting in the bed under you. “Tonight, you’re going to be on top, and you’re going to ride me until I tell you that you can stop, understood?” he asked, watching as you nodded. “Lift your hips.” he demanded, watching as you did so. He grabbed his leaking cock and slowly lined it up with your slit, pushing himself inside. You couldn’t help but whine softly as he held you there, with only the tip inside. You were about to ask him to move, but cried out loudly when he fully sheathed himself inside of you with one harsh thrust, squirming on his lap. “I think I like you like this. You keep that mouth of yours mostly shut. It’s nice to get a break from your constant remarks every so often. We should do this more frequently.” he sneered, too busy mocking you to notice the fact that there were slightly damp spots where your eyes were on the blindfold. You couldn’t handle the intensity of it all very well, or the fact that you couldn’t move all that much. Sure, depriving you of the ability to hear like last time was a new and exhilarating experience, and left you both breathless by the time that evening was over, but being deprived of the ability to see wasn’t. It felt wrong, vicious, and much crueler than jealous sex with him usually felt. Your sense of touch was enhanced to an overwhelming degree, and you couldn’t help but occasionally shy away from his touch when he tried to give it.

He noticed that you didn’t want his hands on you, and smirked up at you. It was as if you felt his gaze on you, because when you tried to get him to hold your hips still, he didn’t, and put his hands behind his head. “You don’t want me to touch you? Fine, but I’m not helping you ride me if you’re gonna be a brat, sweetheart.” he said, watching as you kept pathetically trying to get him off. He thrust his hips up against yours every so often, watching you make those pretty little moans he loved hearing. Eventually, you mustered up enough courage to speak. “Haitham, m’close, m’so close. Please, m’gonna-” You didn’t have time to finish speaking as he grabbed your chin roughly and leaned in close to your ear. “You don’t cum until I say you can, this is what you get for talking so much all the time.” he hissed, roughly letting go of you. He kept thrusting, knowing that you wouldn’t last much longer. He wanted you to cum first, just so that he could punish you further. “Ngh~ Haitham, please, lemme cum! Please just lemme- AhHng~!” you didn’t even get to finish begging when your orgasm hit you full force, pleasure wracking your body as you squirted all over his lap. The moment you realized what you did, you were too late to apologize, as he pulled out and flipped you over, before sliding right back into you. You gasped softly, before yelping against the sheets as his palm made contact with your bare ass. You tried to ride out your high, but he pulled out completely, ruining your orgasm. It was getting to be too much, but you once again felt like you couldn’t speak, and could only lay there and take it until he was done.

When he came inside of you for the second time as he took you from behind, Alhaitham looked down at you and smirked, leaning in close to your ear as he spoke. “See? I told you not to cum without permission. Perhaps if you’d listened, I wouldn’t have had to punish you like this.” he hissed, before forcing you to ride him again. You were too sensitive, it was too much, but he didn’t see that. He didn’t see the trembling of your lip, or the way you flinched a little when his hands made contact with your hips. He also didn’t see what you were thinking as he kept bouncing you on his lap. You could only barely hold back your sobs as he continued fucking you roughly.

Does he really not like it when I talk?

Do I talk too much?

Should I just stop talking whenever he’s around?

It was those thoughts that kept you quiet, kept you from doing anything other than panting heavily. The moment you started holding back your moans, Alhaitham looked up at you. “What’s the matter, can’t speak? What happened to your bite, hmm?” he mocked. “Go ahead, make as much noise as you want.” he taunted. However, the moment you removed your hands from your mouth, a loud, desperate sob escaped your lips, causing you to cover your mouth again. That made him do a double take, and that was when he noticed all of those little things. You trembled as another orgasm hit, the damp spots on the blindfold being hit with fresh tears as you tried to keep quiet on his lap. You were about to try stuttering out an apology, but stopped midway through that attempt, and settled for collapsing against his chest in a whimpering, sobbing heap. You tried to get up, but he held you down against his chest as your orgasm washed over you in waves. You could only tremble against his chest as he quickly untied the ropes, getting them off of your body. He was hesitant to remove the blindfold, but when he did, you slowly opened your eyes and wrapped your arms tightly around him. He could tell that you were feeling overwhelmed, and slowly rocked his hips against yours to get you through your high. The sensations had been too much for you, and he could tell now. He mentally slapped himself for not being more attentive, and now focused on bringing you back down from the intense high you were going through.

His eyes were wide as panic rose in his chest, and he couldn’t help but try to whisper sweet nothings in your ears as he brought you back down. “Shh, relax, just relax, sweetheart, I’ve got you.” he whispered, his tone a much gentler contrast to the harsh one he used when he was speaking to you earlier. You slowly nodded along to what he was saying, not really catching any of the words coming out of his mouth. The slight rasp of his baritone voice soothed your mind, and calmed your racing thoughts. His soft, soothing voice made you feel every pleasant emotion you could feel in that moment, but above all else, it made you feel safe. Once you’d come down from your high, you looked up at him and focused as hard as you could on what he was saying. “Do you want me to pull out?” he asked, watching as you nodded slowly. He withdrew his hips slowly, letting you lay down against his chest. He didn’t care right now that you’d made a mess of the sheets, the only thing that he was paying attention to at the moment was how you were feeling. He gave you a few more minutes to make sure you were, at the very least, somewhat lucid, before he started speaking, cupping your face in his hands. He knew you were still feeling very overwhelmed, so he asked simple questions first.

“Are you ok?” he asked, watching as you shook your head. “Was it too much?” he asked, causing you to nod. You laid your head against his chest. “Do you want me to clean you up?” he asked softly, pressing his forehead against yours. “Mhmm~” you hummed, sighing when he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom. He handled you like glass, almost as if you’d shatter from being set down on the edge of the bath. He still set you down, and turned on the faucet to the bathtub. The sound of the water was enough to make you cover your ears, your senses still kicked into overdrive thanks to the blindfold. Alhaitham noticed this, and ran back into the bedroom, where he grabbed his soundproof ear pieces, letting you wear them when he came back. Your shoulders slouched and you relaxed, slowly calming down again. Once the bathtub was full, he slowly removed the ear pieces from your ears and put them back in the bedroom. He then slowly picked you up and set you down in the bath, looking at you from the rim of the bath. “Do you want some water? Something to eat, maybe?” he asked, keeping his voice low so as not to overload your senses again. You looked up at him and nodded. “Both?” he asked, watching as you nodded again. “Does Tachin sound good?” he asked. “Yeah.” you muttered, not quite meeting his gaze. The fact that you were still reeling from everything didn’t surprise him, which is why he was taking care of you. “Alright, I’ll let you have some space for now while I go make the food, alright? If you need anything else, shout for me, and I’ll be here, ok?” he asked, taking your hands into his as he spoke, kneeling beside the bathtub. You nodded, reluctantly letting go of his hands and leaning back in the bath. “Don’t fall asleep in here, ok? It’s bad for your back and you might slip under the water by accident.” he said, causing you to nod.

Alhaitham exited the bathroom and looked back at the door, before throwing on a shirt and his underwear and walking downstairs. He quickly grabbed the ingredients and made some Tachin for the two of you. He knew you liked it because of how sweet it tasted, and he’d been marinating the meat he was using for about a day, so he knew it was going to be good once he was done. He cooked it slowly, before walking back upstairs with the plates of Tachin. He saw that you were still awake, and gently tapped your shoulder. “Hmm?” you looked at him. “Do you want me to get in with you for a bit? The food’s still a bit too hot to eat.” he asked, watching as you nodded softly. He took the shirt and his underwear off, throwing them in a quickly forgotten corner of the bathroom. You moved over a bit so that he could get in the water with you, sighing softly as he pulled you backwards into his arms. You looked up at him and saw the worry in his gaze, before reaching up to gently cup his face in your hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t pay more attention to what was going on, it was my idea to use the blindfold and the ropes on you, and I wasn’t thinking things through when I did that. I should have introduced them in moderation.” he muttered, resting his head on your shoulder as he spoke. “I tried to say the safeword, but it was almost like I couldn’t… like I couldn’t…” You were trying to find the right words to describe how you felt. “Couldn’t breathe?” he finished, watching as you nodded. “Can I ask you something, if you don’t mind?” you questioned, looking back up at him. “Anything at all, I’ll try my best to answer,” he replied. “Do you… really not like it when I talk a lot?” you asked, looking to the side. He turned you around and cupped your face in his hands, pressing his forehead against yours. “I love hearing you talk, don’t ever forget that. I don’t know why I said that earlier, I shouldn’t have,” he said. “Can we not use the blindfold and the ropes at the same time again? I didn’t like that at all, and I hated how it made every noise around me sound so… loud. It felt like every noise I heard was inside of my ears when I had that blindfold on, and it stayed that way for several minutes after you took it off.” you said. Alhaitham nodded softly. “Was there anything else that bothered you about tonight?” he asked. “I- yeah, but can we get out of the bath and eat, first? I’d prefer to tell you when we get in the bed, and the water’s starting to get cold. Plus, I’m pretty sure that cold Tachin isn’t really all that tasty.” you said, giggling softly.

He nodded, grabbing the spare set of sheets in the towel closet and making sure that they were on the bed properly before getting some towels and lifting you out of the bath. Alhaitham dried you off and carried you to the bed, setting you down under the covers before drying himself off. He got in bed with you and set a plate of Tachin on your lap, making sure that you had some water first. The sweet taste of the meat and rice, combined with the Padisarah petals he had carefully added, tasted wonderful, and each bite practically melted in your mouth. You hummed softly, turning to your lover and giving him a thumbs up. Once you’d finished the plate of Tachin and downed the glass of water, you leaned back and sighed deeply, looking back over at him. “So, what was the other thing that you didn’t like?” he asked. You gave him a nervous look, and took a deep breath before you started to speak. “You know how I usually only initiate these things when we don’t have anything to do and when we both need to be closer to each other than usual, right?” you asked, causing him to nod. “You know how I told you that I don’t really like super intense sessions like these because of how long we go at it and how rough you get, right?” you asked. Again, he nodded. “That’s because of how much those nights mean to me, you know? I try not to go to you and ask for things like that too often because it feels like it loses meaning if I do go to you too often. I do these things with you because I want to remind you that I love you, and no one else. Whenever you tell me you want to do these things with me, it mostly has to do with relieving stress, and that kinda takes away from why we do it in the first place, in my eyes, you know? I know you get really stressed sometimes, but…” you trailed off, causing him to cup your face in his hands. When you looked up at him again, he saw that you were crying. “I thought you just liked taking things slow, I didn’t know that you felt that way about all of this.” he said, resting your head in the crook of his neck. He held you there for a while, letting you calm down a bit. “But I just… I don’t want to be seen as just a source of stress relief and nothing else, because it hurts, it really hurts.” you whispered, laying down against him. He wrapped his arms around you as the tears fell, thumbing them away gently as he held you there. “I know, sometimes being rough is just what I need, and I know I sound selfish as I’m saying these things, but-” “Don’t… don’t say that, you’re not being selfish by telling me how you feel. If you catch me doing that again, please tell me. There are so many options for alleviating stress, and it’s not like I never had to deal with stress before I started dating you.” he said, giving a small smile before he pressed his lips against yours. You nodded, giving him a smile of your own in return. You yawned as the exhaustion finally caught up with you, and you laid down against Alhaitham’s chest. “I’m exhausted, goodnight, ‘Haitham.” you sleepily mumbled, closing your eyes. Within minutes, you were fast asleep against his chest. He looked down at you for a minute, before pressing his lips against your temple. “Goodnight, (name).” he whispered, closing his eyes and holding you close as he fell asleep as well.

[pixelatedraindrops]

RAINCODE COMIC COLLAB~☔️

BEHOLD THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR!!

3 full weeks of work and its finally completed!

So @kazinsblog and I did another raincode art collab together but this one was a HUGE project! This one's a full 18 page comic!

Idk if you all remember the comic idea that Kazin was planning to do that involved Yuma overworking himself until he gets sick and then gets tended to by everyone else. But when I saw it, I decided to ask her if she was willing to possibly collaborate on it, remaking it where she sketched it and I colored it.

Kazin's Beta images: 1 2 3 4

So here's the results of all that work. We've been at this since December 17th so this has been an almost full month collaboration. And of course mine's a bit more altered to my own style as well as adding my own touches and making it a little more whumpy/extreme... X'D I also freehand drew shinigami in my version as well.

Both our versions look pretty different! The only thing that are the same are the poses. So feel free to check out Kazin's traditional version as well!

Since its an 18 page comic, I decided to put it under a keep reading so it won't clutter everyone's timelines. Also, I will be narrating the pages because I love narrating sick filler type stories. So brace yourself for a VERY LOOONG post!! Def need time to read this one! (and no purple tinted filters here this time!)

Also note: If the writing is blue, it means the character is thinking, just like in the game! :)

And I apologize on the inconsistency of Yuma's bangs... I thought it was one way before so half of the comic he looks like he has square bangs... oof XD I fix it around page 10

ANYWAY, hope you enjoy this soft buffet, Raincode Community! 🌡️💕

(Page 1)

Our story begins on an ordinary day in Kanai Ward. Rainy gloomy and depressing as ever. Our little victim... wait... XD I mean protagonist Yuma decides to go out to investigate more about Kanai Ward to try to track down it's supposed ultimate secret. Yakou sets him off wishes him well and tells him to be careful. However, as he's out, he finds out a lot of people in the city need help. Because of his good nature and unable to turn down someone in need, he decides to help whoever he can. (the ultimate side-questing lol) Before he knows it, he's soaking wet and he had helped 10 people in total. Time passed and it was almost evening so he returns to the submarine. Yuma was completely unphased by this. (and he didn't dry himself off for 4 hours due to being occupied with tasks)

(Page 2)

Yuma returns to the Agency's submarine to greet his chief holding his meatbun order. (that also got wet) But Yakou notices that the trainee is sopping wet to the core and shivering. He immediately loudly demands that he sit down so he can tend to him. Yuma does as he's told and sits on the checkered sofa. Yakou rushes to the shower room to grab some small towels to help him dry off. But because Yakou is so panicked, he ends up being very rough in drying Yuma, pulling his hair and causing the small boy pain. After he dries him off, he tells Yuma he isn't allowed to leave anymore for the rest of the day and demands him to rest. Yuma tries to retaliate using puppy eyes, but it doesn't work. Yakou is immune.

(Page 3)

The next day Yuma asks Yakou if he can go out to work after he finishes his morning chores around the place looking very eager. Yakou still looks a little concerned by how tired Yuma looks, so he tells him to not go out alone. He assigns him a partner to go with the rest of the week.

On the first day he's paired with Halara. The two of them are asked to investigate the art gallery of Ginma. (maybe after the nail man case) But over time, Yuma starts developing a lingering cough that persists for quite some time. Halara asks Yuma is he's okay, to which Yuma lies saying that it's due to the dust of the room. But of course being sharp, Halara isn't buying it. But they decide to not persist him further.

On the second day, he's paired with Desuhiko. They're asked to go help out at the Aetheria Academy with another case (not murder related this time) However on the way to the school and in Ginma, Yuma starts slowing down, he's shaking and is a little wobbly. Desuhiko notices this and asks if he wants to go to the cafe for a drink. Yuma nods and as they go to the cafe and order some coffee, Yuma takes off his hat and coat and Desuhiko finally realizes how pale he looks. He's even slower at replying to him as he speaks, as if he's in a daze. Desuhiko decides to take Yuma back to the agency after this.

(Page 4)

On Day three, he's paired with Fubuki. But he doesn't even make it to the case as when he goes to the sun and moon hotel to meet with her, Fubuki notices and points out that Yuma's face looks red. The boy clearly had a fever building. Yuma argues with her but Fubuki persists. The two of them try to go to the case but Yuma nearly collapses. So Fubuki returns him to the agency.

On the fourth day where he's supposed to be paired with Vivia he spends a majority of the day passed out. Vivia decides to watch over him using his forte to not disturb him. During the night while he's asleep, his breathing gets more labored and he's completely restless. Vivia looks at him deeply worried for his dear friend's well being.

The next morning Yuma somehow finds the strength to get himself up. Maybe that one day of rest was enough. But Yakou insists that he stays put today. Angrily yelling at him to be still and take today off as well.

Meanwhile, a certain two seem to notice each other...

(Page 5)

Vivia's spirit notices Shinigami and decides to give her a warning. Make sure Yuma listens to Yakou and doesn't leave. Giving her the iciest glare, Shinigami fearfully agrees.

But this effort would be for naught, despite how he feels, Yuma's relentless determination forces himself up, putting on his rain attire and heads up the steps of the sub to the outside when Yakou isn't looking. Shinigami does what she can to stop him, but he doesn't listen...and Shinigami being a ghost, there was nothing she could do to physically hold him back. All she could do was follow, and prepare for the inevitable.

By some miracle he makes it to the church, up the stairs to speak to the nun. Who tells him to play therapy again for the townsfolk. He nods and heads to his first client. But when he returns to kamasaki to speak to him, he can barely make out what he's saying as he lets out a few more coughs.

Once he leaves the client, before long, Yuma could hear something in his body snap.

(Note: I direct most of the story, but Vivia conversing with Shinigami in spirit mode was actually Kazin's idea! So credit to her for that, So silly and fun! ^^)

(Page 6)

Yuma's body had finally reached it's limit. All the fatigue, chills and body aches had hit him all at once at full force like armed weaponry. His head began throbbing, he was shaking violently and uncontrollably, he felt nauseated by the rain's smell, and his body heat and the lingering dizziness was unbearable. He found a safe corner in the alleyway of Kamasaki to collapse. Telling Shinigami she was right and he should have listened to her, while the burning fever and cold rain wrecked his delicate frame even further. His voice was hardly audible, but Shinigami still heard and practically tells him to go back. But Yuma had no strength left...

Then like clockwork as they finish speaking, he could hear his name called. At first it sounded kind and questionable. But that rapidly changed, the voice now angrily yelling out his full name. As he looked up this voice belonged to...Yakou. He looks down at the boy in pure disappointment and anger.

Turns out a certain someone was tailing him. And alerted Yakou what happened just in time.

(Note: I make the red darker the more extreme the temperature and lighter the less extreme. I got to experiment with all sorts of new ways to color fevers hehe~ >w<)

(Page 7)

Yuma shockingly looks up at Yakou. Oh no, he was so BUSTED! Shinigami even says as much. Yakou practically scoops Yuma in his arms carrying him back to the agency. As he was lifted Yuma's world begun spinning. He could barely hear the chief nagging him in a panicked tone. It was all distorted and it was making his head hurt more. Yakou placed a hand to his cheek and was shocked by how hot it felt. All Yuma could do was apologize and hope his world stops spinning and that Yakou eventually stops yelling... (also I put numbers for the order to read the speech bubbles in)

Upon returning to the agency, Yakou dries Yuma off, asks Desuhiko to give him a warm set of clothes to borrow and put him to his own bed. Grabbing a basin of very cold water, washcloths and a digital thermometer. He placed one of the wet cold cloths under his bangs and upon reading the boy's temperature, it was high. Almost high enough to visit the ER. Yakou was even more mad, but speaks in a non yelling tone. Giving Yuma another stern warning to not leave the bed. To which Yuma weakly agrees to.

But Yakou's back to yelling again, feeling paranoid Yuma would be missing by the time he gets back from getting the supplies. So he drills that message right into the boy's already throbbing head once more. Everyone else in the office awkwardly listen in as the sick trainee gets scolded.

(Note: Just an FYI, Yuma's speech bubbles being wavy is a sign his voice is raspy and the text being a bit hard to read means his voice is hardly audible)

(Page 8)

Yakou leaves Yuma alone and walks into the office in his raincoat telling the other detectives that he'll be leaving soon and to watch over Yuma in his absence and NOT let him leave. He is so full of anger and anxiety that he yells at all of them too.

Everyone agrees and as Yakou leaves, they all discuss among themselves Yuma's state the days they were partners with him. He was in bad shape. And he only got worse as the days went by. They all knew.

(Page 9)

Meanwhile back in Yakou's quarters, Yuma was getting lectured yet again. This time by his death god partner, Shinigami. The poor trainee only wanted peace and quiet to make the pain in his head go away, using what little energy he has remaining speaking in his head he tried telling her to stop.

But the aggravated spirit persisted, saying that as his mentor she had the right to scold him just as much as Yakou. She continued her rant, until an abrupt sound from her master shut her up.

The few coughs that came from Yuma eventually erupted into a full blown coughing fit. The coughs sounding more wet, rough and serious. After coughing 10 to 15 times in a row Yuma was exhausted. Shinigami looked down at him panting with concern and pity in her eyes. She decided to stop the lecture for his sake.

After the fit, Yuma was left raggedly breathing. As Shinigami gave him her permission to rest and take it easy, he didn't answer. He couldn't. That fit completely mangled his throat. He was not able to speak vocally or in thought process anymore due to his head being in too much pain. As was the rest of his body, aching and burning. So he didn't answer her. All he could do was hope sleep would eventually take hold of him to make all this awful heat and pain stop even if for a just moment.

(Note: That's the penalty Yuma... x'D Sorry I gotta make him suffer lol. Also this is the only page that’s actually read left to right. I messed that up, sorry!!)

(Page 10)

After some time passed it was time for the Master Detectives to all take part in taking care of Yuma. The whole agency had a day off to do this. So upon his return, Yakou instructs everyone to look after Yuma in 2 hour shifts through the day. Even if it was just to watch him sleep. He couldn't be left alone.

Halara was first. Their task was to help Yuma take the medicine that was bought. There were three types of medicine for him to take. Antibiotics (white pills) for the general illness symptoms, painkillers (red and white pills) for the headache/fever, and finally...cough syrup. (aka his least favorite... XD) Halara made sure to be very gentle with Yuma propping him upward as his whole body was burning and he was very shaky. He even had trouble drinking the water, so Halara had to get a mug instead so they could help him drink it by holding the handle, and using the other hand to support his back. Despite the struggle, Halara worked diligently to complete their task as a caretaker in full. (as for who paid them to do this...idk I'll leave that to your imagination XD)

(The cough syrup idea was inspired by this fic :3)

Desuhiko had the second shift and the whole time he was waiting for his turn, he was writing a song for Yuma. Having the delusion that his angelic voice would lul the sick boy to sleep, he played his guitar and began singing. Yuma's headache did improve enough to speak in his head now, but that wouldn't last, as the loud noises from the guitar made his head pound even further with every strum. Shinigami begs for the noise to cease fire on her poor eardrums, but Yuma doesn't have it in him to stop Desuhiko. The gesture was kind so he decided to try to listen to the whole song, despite the noise. He does eventually tell him to stop though (using hand gestures) when another song comes afterward. So then the two spend their time conversing for a bit, (though desuhiko does more of the talking as yuma just nods or makes small noises/hand gestures due to his throat still hurting too much to talk) Desuhiko even telling him he could keep the sweater and shorts he had lent to him. To which Yuma softly smiles at him as a thank you before he eventually falls asleep again.

Fubuki has the third shift, and her task was to feed Yuma the warm vegetable soup that was bought earlier and that Halara had just finished making, along with Fubuki's help. She volunteers to feed him as she remembers a time she was ill as a child in the clockford mansion and one of her servants tended to her, feeding her soup just the same. Unfortunately, because this was a memory of her early childhood, she repeats similar phrases as the servant did when she was feeding Yuma, who was clearly not a small child. Yuma's fever had dropped enough to where he could find a bit of strength to try and sit up on his own now, and his once mangled throat’s condition had improved for him to speak a little bit. As he listened to Fubuki's rambling he tries to play along with her despite the whole thing being a bit embarrassing for someone his age. At least the soup was nice and warm. It felt good going down his very sore throat.

(Funny Fact: The order that Yuma is both partnered and tended to by each detective, is the same order as the chapters in game he's partnered with them LOL)

(Page 11)

It was evening, and now it was Vivia's turn to take the fourth and final shift. At first he was just going to sit and watch Yuma while he read his book quietly, but Yakou suggested that he read one of his books out loud to Yuma to help him relax better like a bedtime story. Vivia was unsure at first, as he's never read to anyone before. But he decided to give it a try. He asks Yuma what his preference in literature is before he starts, and Yuma tells him he enjoys detective novels the most. So he pulls out the novel that was in his reading list and begins to read it out loud to him. Turns out he was quite a natural at narrating, and his slow voice was very soothing. Yuma felt so relaxed that he felt like he would fall asleep any minute, but he tries to stay awake to listen to the story a bit more. Shinigami however, conks out immediately. (fyi: yes this is the novel Vivia talks about in his final gumshoe gab. I tried to make up stuff based on it.. X'D)

Once the clock strikes 9pm and night falls, the Master Detectives all wish Yuma well and leave to return to the hotel to retire for the night. It was just Yakou and Yuma now. Yakou, who had just come back from another errand, walks over to Yuma who was now fast asleep. He looked a little better so Yakou removed the towel from his forehead and places his hand onto it. It still felt warm but no longer as hot as it did hours ago. Meaning he was out of the danger zone, much to Yakou's relief. He places the towel back in the water basin wringing it out and re-applying it to his forehead. Then he lets out a yawn. He was pretty tired. He decides that instead of sleeping in the office on one of the sofas, he'd stay by Yuma's side. His removes his jacket, goes and turns off the overhead lights, sits down and places his head down on his desk. Then after telling the sleeping trainee goodnight he turns off the small light by his desk.

OKAY FUN FACT: The comic WAS going to end here going on to the final page... Buuut~ We were STARVING for some good ol' Yakou Fathero :3 So... Enjoy these bonus 6 pages of Yakou having a shift of his own to look after Yuma in the middle of the night. And its the longest shift.

This ones for you Yakou Fathero fans! Eat your fill!

(I know we sure did :3)

Also I apologize if the lighting here is inaccurate ;w; I tried my best I'm no pro LOL

(Page 12)

A little past midnight, Yuma was stirring in his sleep. Making all sorts of groaning sounds as if he was in pain. He was likely having a nightmare. This is confirmed by his eyes suddenly opening and him violently flinging himself up screaming, and the cold cloth flying off his forehead.

This sound wakes Yakou up immediately as he puts his glasses back on asking Yuma if he's okay. He flicks the light by his desk on to check on him. Yuma's found shaking with tears in his eyes stating quietly that it was just a dream. Yakou sympathizes with Yuma as fever dreams were usually not fun, but a fever NIGHTMARE was always bad. The chief offers the shaking trainee some water to try to help him settle down.

(FYI: Shinigami is going to be absent from this part of the story because I think her banter and antics would ruin the fluff, so she'll just be lurking above in the shelf like a cat the whole time.)

(Page 13)

Yuma accepts the water practically snatching it from Yakou's hands and quickly gulping it down. Yakou tells him to pace himself not wanting him to choke. Once he exhales from the water drink, Yuma sheepishly apologizes for waking Yakou up with his scream, feeling like a burden. Yakou reassures him it's okay and decides to ask him the question of why he pushed himself this far while he was still awake. Hard enough to make himself sick. Why did he do it?

Yuma was surprised by this but decides to try to tell him. He hands the water glass back and began talking. Under his raspy voice and somewhat heavy breathing, he says that he wanted to be useful as he felt like a burden to everyone since he lost his memory. He also says that he likes helping others and that it feels familiar to him. Determined to try to unlock a core memory of his past he kept doing this, even to the point of pushing his limits.

Then he suddenly stopped speaking...

(Page 14)

...aaand cue the coughing fit. Yuma's throat got scratchy and irritated after his long explanation, causing him to cough about 5/8 times in a row. Not as bad as his previous fit but it was more than enough to startle and worry Yakou.

Yakou quickly hands Yuma the water glass he had just taken from him hoping it would soothe his throat. He tells him that helping others is a good thing but he shouldn't push himself to the point that his health gets affected. Yuma quietly nods and as he sips the water still shaking, Yakou feels bad and decides to apologize to him for being harsh before. Stating that he only lost his temper because he was scared and worried for him. He also places his hand to Yuma's cheek in both comfort and to check his temperature. It felt slightly warmer than a few hours ago.

Yuma quietly apologizes to Yakou for worrying him, still holding the water glass. Yakou forgives him. Then he takes the glass from him and then the towel that fell off Yuma's forehead. He grabs a fresh one and soaks it in the basin wringing it out and places it back on the trainee’s forehead unintentionally a bit roughly. Yuma groans and shivers a little from the cold of it.

Yakou then lies Yuma back down, tucking him back in trying to make him comfortable. But his actions were a bit too comforting. He was not meaning to in any way and he wasn't sure what came over him, but he was treating Yuma like a little kid. Yuma notices and feels a little embarrassed by it, but decides to only say it in his head.

Yakou decides to do one more thing before he lets him go back to sleep.

(Note: Hey far as anyone's concerned Yuma, you are practically his BABY when you are having a sick day, so deal with it hehehe :3c)

(Page 15)

Temperature taking page time :D (my favorite, teehee! I know some cultures and in anime they take the temperature under the arm, but there's just something so endearing and adorable about a sickie with a thermometer in their mouth <3 OKAY MY RAMBLING ASIDE...)

Yakou is now a bit concerned that Yuma's fever spiked again after that little harsh coughing fit so he decides to take his temperature one more time before letting Yuma go to sleep again. Yuma obliges and goes along with it opening his mouth as the device is inserted.

After 15 seconds the device beeps and Yakou takes it out. Yuma shyly pulls the duvet up to his face and hides as he meekly asks if its any better feeling a little nervous. Yakou responds that it is better than it was the first time, where it was a dangerous degree.

However, he still wasn't out of the woods yet. The fever was still there and although it went down, it was still in the red. Yakou states that he's still feverish to which Yuma just apologizes. Poor thing just wants this to be over, he really doesn't want to trouble anyone anymore.

(sorry yuma I can't let you off that easily hehe 😈)

(also yes I put an instruction manual for how the thermometer works, I am so obsessed that I even give the thermometer lore LMAO. Sorry if I'm inaccurate in any of those readings. I used google... ^^;)

(Page 16)

Yakou places the thermometer back on the desk and tells Yuma to go to sleep. Saying the fever will likely break by morning. To which Yuma states that he's in Yakou's bed and that he should return to the checkered sofa so his boss could sleep, attempting to try getting up. But Yakou puts a hand on his shoulder stopping him and denies this and says his desk is fine and that Yuma needed the bed more than him.

He also says that if Yuma had another bad dream that he would be there for him. Yuma smiles at Yakou quietly thanking him as he's tucked back into the duvet. Yakou pats it gently telling the trainee to close his eyes.

It isn't long before Yuma is back to being fast asleep. (and shinigami too)

Yakou monologues to himself for a bit groaning at how much trouble this small detective has been for him since he showed up. But then he switches his tune and places a hand to Yuma's head petting it softly. He says he's happy he's working hard for the sake of his memories but right now he needs to work on getting better. Saying it would help everyone in the agency if he wanted to help people.

He wishes him well continuing to pet his head for a bit longer to soothe him before going back to sleep himself turning the light off again.

(Page 17)

2 hours later, Yuma was stirring and whining in his sleep once again. Yakou groggily wakes up wiping his tired eyes upon hearing the soft noises the small trainee was uttering. And he was crying again. Can only be one thing: Another nightmare.

Instead of turning the light on to wake him up, Yakou moves his chair close to him sitting at his side. Not saying a single word. (cept in his head lol) He reaches his hand for Yuma's as it twitches and he takes hold of it gently.

Yakou eventually leans on the bed as he does so and falls asleep sitting up again. Yuma's groaning and and heavy breathing begin to settle down a little as he felt Yakou's presence close by.

Then he smiles as he closes his hand in his sleep holding Yakou's hand back, leaning a bit close to it. He felt safe again... <3

(Note: This poor thing has way too much trauma... ;w; I headcanon that he's prone to night terrors on occasion, but when he gets a fever, its even WORSE. Fevers do be messing with your head... x3)

(Page 18 Final)

The next morning when Yakou wakes up, he checks on Yuma. He still felt slightly warm but he looked much better. Seemed the worst was over and it would likely last just one more day.

When he's fully awake and at his desk, Desuhiko shows up asking Yakou if Yuma's okay and offered to wake him up. Yakou denies it saying Yuma needed one more day of rest, the fever may have been only slight now, but in the rain it would rise again easily.

Desuhiko agrees and declares that he's going to work hard today. Likely to make up for Yuma's absence. Yakou teases him and the two have a bit of a banter.

Yuma meanwhile is asleep peacefully. Still having a slight red tint to his cheeks, but he's able to sleep a lot easier now. His fever was slowly but surely breaking. (now in the yellow) Shinigami sleeps beside him, making sure she protects him from any nightmares in yakou's absence. (after all only SHE can give her master nightmares)

He wakes up fully recovered the following morning thanking everyone for taking such good care of him, and he makes sure to not push himself anymore. And continues searching for the city's ultimate secret while pacing himself to help others from now on.

THE END ❤️

(I practically made this into a sickfic in its own right... XD)

Thanks for reading!! Hope you enjoyed!! This is just a little artist credit page I made for Kazin and I c: Also art semi-face reveal?? xD Kinda?? Idk lol (we just two gals that like our sick comfort haha x3)

Anyway thank you again Kazin for doing this with me!! It was hard work but it was a blast and the final result came out amazing. Its surely a project I will cherish forever~ 💜🩷✨🌡️

A wholesome story to start 2024 on a good note.

[narfin-frood]

how do you plan the panel layouts for your comics? i always get stuck and it feels cramped or unsatisfying

okay so i went to college for 2 whole semesters and one of the only art classes i took (and definitely the only one i retained much from) was my sequential art & comics class. so i'm gonna try to explain my process in so many words, but there's a LOT of stuff that goes into a successful comic and i'm by no means a professional. i can however throw some tips and tricks and some recommended reading your way (another longpost ahead!)

first, know what you want to do. know where your comic starts and ends. if you find any joy in writing scripts, you can also do that, but i'm not the best at writing with no visual aide so i usually script while i thumbnail, but always make sure you've got a concept and a goal.

next, start thumbnailing. my initial thumbnails usually look like this:

(incidentally, my storyboard thumbnails look a lot like this, too)

there's no real structure, and i'm just noodling my way from the top left of the page to the bottom right. if you've got what you want from your comic in mind, this part can sometimes just pour out of you. i feel a very strong attachment to these characters and the situations i put them in, so that definitely has to do with how smoothly this part goes. draw the panels as small and as detail-free as possible. i usually don't do speech bubbles, and instead treat it like a storyboard, writing my rough script under the panels as i go.

once you're satisfied with the way your story is coming together, THEN you start laying your panels out. this part looks like this when i do it:

(these are actually from a gfalls comic i never cared to finish from like. five months ago but who's counting?)

honestly, it's best to do this as small as you can possibly get it, to really get your head out of the "but i have to fit all the panels exactly as i drew them on the page" funk. remember that, at least if you're writing the comic in english or other languages read in the same direction, that you're trying to lead the reader's eye from top to bottom and left to right. this is really hard to keep track of, and i still make mistakes and flub up the readability all the time. like here:

the panel layout should be reversed here. the panels in the top left and bottom right should be smaller than the other two, so the gutters would actually guide you to read it left to right instead of top to bottom, but laziness and initial drawing blindness struck me and i never fixed it.

once you have a layout that makes sense to you, it's as simple as blowing your thumbnails up to comic-size and going over your very rough sketches with your final clean panels & inks, or, if you're doing it traditionally, re-sketching your page on your big bristol board after doing some measuring to see where your panels should actually be.

there are other rules to keep in mind when you're in the thumbnailing phase of your comic, like the 180-degree rule (something that carries from film to animation to comics to, really, any form of sequential art), which is easiest to explain with a little diagram:

keeping this in mind really helps with readability. you can do a bunch of things with your angles, you can even omit the other character, but keeping them on the side of the frame you establish them on is very helpful. this is mainly for dialogue, but it does also help if you want to display one character walking in one specific direction, or if you want a fight scene to read as well as possible, etc.

and, if you look at your comic sketch now and think, hey, this looks great, this is so clear and easy to read, i highly recommend stepping away for a few hours to look at it again, or, if you're impatient like me, sending it to a friend. you're also totally welcome to send it to me, if you just need someone to tell you whether your comic is easily readable.

to learn more about drawing comics, i recommend two things. one, read some comics. by professionals in the industry, ideally, though there are many many competent and incredibly detailed comics by independent creators out there. people in the industry will (MOST of the time) be held to slightly higher standards of readability than the average independent artist, and the workflow for professional comics involves several people at once reading and reviewing and revising what's made so that it'll be digestible to the average audience.

two, i recommend getting your hands on a copy of "understanding comics" by scott mccloud. love this book. lots of comic artists love this book. it's fun and informative and packed full of tips, while also being a comic, which makes it even more fun to read. mccloud goes into a lot of detail on stuff i didn't mention, from the gutters between panels to lettering to working with other artists and writers and finding an art style that fits the story you want to tell. great stuff. go to the library, check it out. you won't regret it.

[bluebunnysart]

Fanart of my own fanfiction (Chimera Teto x Android Miku)

Good news! When I woke up and looked at my art again today, I liked it, so here's the uncolored version! I trust you tumblr people, so here you go! You may view. This technically means I've drawn UTAU Teto (here) and SynthV Teto, but I really want to color this and take my time doing so, so here are the lines before it turns into something else hahaha 😂😂😂 Read More for the stuff I wanted to write last night but was too tired to (also the art time lapse)

I showed like two WIPs of different ideas on Twitter but none of them were this LOL (just goes to show how much I wanna draw and see of these two specifically) but the reason I decided to go with this is 'cuz that fanfic I wrote in like one day really got me excited and it made me really want to draw them as I was imagining more stuff about them. Here I'll talk about what I had in mind

I love chimera Teto, especially her majestic wings, and what I drew here is basically inspired by that! Teto's basically the only "living, sentient" thing around Miku so far (I dunno how to approach adding more creatures just yet), which makes Miku extra interested in her. But basically Miku likes Teto's wings and tail too and is very fascinated by them.

I had an idea where Miku is just holding or playing with Teto's tail out of nowhere and complimenting the heck out of her, and that was condensed into this piece. It was too crowded on Miku's side to have Teto's tail there as well, but the reason Teto's embarrassed (tsundere is nice, aint it xD) is 'cuz Miku is indeed praising the heck out of her. Calling her cute and saying how cool her wings are and whatnot.

The dialogue kinda goes like, "Your wings are so cool! And I really like how expressive your tail is! I wonder what I would do with a tail. It's so cute! Actually, now that I think about it, all of you is really cute!!" (Teto, embarrassed: "Stop talking now.") wwww

Miku does have a kinda tail actually! It's the chain on top of her skirt. As an android, I was thinking it works as sort of a battery plug or USB or something. I can show off more of that later (since it's really small here lol) but she can use it to receive electricity and recharge herself, I guess~. (Note to self: make it bigger?)

I haven't shown off much of my art style, but most (normal) characters usually don't have pupils. (See: this Teto, who's a living breathing creature.) As a result, I decided to give Miku pupils (kinda robot-like) to make her seem like more of a robot. She also wears the thing (headphones) over her ears, of course, which I can also use to make her seem more robot-like. There's no green flashing of code in her eyes right now but I might draw that sometime too, after my loads of other ideas...

Teto's wings aren't fragile. They're probably firm, hard, and could even be scaly/rough (up to my own whims or the reader's own preference). Her letting Miku touch her (wings) is probably a huge display of trust/confidence. Teto's wings are strong enough to carry her far distances and even allow her to fly in bad weather, I think. It's up to Teto herself how much energy/desire she has to do things like that though.

This is mentioned in the fic too, but Teto probably folds her wings a lot so they don't get in the way. She's kinda like a bird. I think her silhouette against the sun or moon, with full wingspan, is probably majestic (I'm imagining the Batman symbol for some reason lol). I know some people color Teto's wings as purple, but I specified black in my fic to match her tail. ^^

In order for her wings to breathe, there are probably holes in the back of her outfit to accommodate them, but they're only big enough for the wings (ellipses/ovals probably): she either tears/cuts holes into the shirts she wears for her wings or they already fit her wings so there's no problem. I wonder if Teto made her UTAU outfit herself in this setting. xD (A girl has to pass the time SOMEHOW plus she's probably at least a little bit handy when it comes to clothes and stuff (survival).)

If, while I'm coloring, I need to make adjustments to the seating and lineart and all that, I will, but I figured I'd show off what made me stay up 'til 5 AM last night and then get embarrassed to post 'cuz I thought I wasn't finished yet. I woke up and I liked it, so I'm just gonna put it in this here blog. c:

I don't know how to color, so coloring will be a trip 😂

[river-mort]

Hi I love your mohg/rhadan art very much it’s my favorite thing. I also love your Morgott art a LOT. I love your more serious style and it brings such joy to my heart to see your art of the twins and little things about their relationship dynamic, that’s one thing that kills me about the game is we never get to see mohg & Morgott interact.

If you have any silly/angsty headcanons for rhadan/mohg I’d love to hear them. Or ones for the twins too for that matter.

i wish i drew more serious art it's just too much silly ideas occupied my head. I hate being the clown all the time it's my curse - being funny.

And thank you to ask question about some stuff I hc or draw. Last time I received such question was....years ago I feel

I'm also glad to intoxicate people into radmohg its such a funny and sweet ship. It's so sweet that I can't even come with any angst for it. They both might have their own sad stories they deal with (sometimes together) but something rough between them? They two has their own worldview and plans but they never confront each other. If someone disagree they just..... Don't talk about it? So You're a blood cultists? Okay just leave my army alone ok? They make some agreements and keep living. In fact I think it's impossible to make Radahn feel strong emotions - hate, anger anything. He is a big man of accepting and compromise when it's about relationship (not only romantic). He might be emotional on the battlefield and it's the only place when he can be rough but when it's a calm life he is as calm as capibara. He is a simple positive man. He is such a Kronk coded character to me lol, even if you throw a table at you it will just break and he will be like you okay? You seem sad :( . On mohg side, even being quite a self centered man, he somehow respect Radahn's personal space and decisions. He doesn't force him to follow his lead or do as be say - unless it's something small like carrying him in the top of the tower. But with Radahn everything is new to mohg - before he would never care about anyone in any way. He doesn't care for others opinions, decisions and desires. With Radahn he is unbelievably tolerant and sweet. From other side it actually looks like pretending and Morgott was absolutely sure that Mohg is up to something. Even Mohg himself thought he was up to something - he just didn't know what exactly he would possibly need from this man. During first period mohg acted so fun while pretending he doesn't care for Radahn and just want to use him for SOMETHING while actually he was simply interested in him. That's all. He was like no I don't care that he doesn't answer my letter for second day already and u walk around this room nervously because I think about other matters and definitely not because of that one specific. I don't care for him. At all. And morgott is like okay but I didn't ask?

With mohg and morgott on the other hand there's pretty much angst. And I'm not even talking about their different worldview and religions - that's quite obvious. Saying about headcanons I like to think that mohg has soft spot for his brother - too soft I would say. Being ruthless and cunning, he could've already get the leyndell throne even without killing his brother (which he always say he CAN do but no. He can't), but instead he actively helps Morgott rule, in mimic veil au he even becomes his advisor but basically he's a nanny - he forces him to wake up, to go on meetings, to do his duties which morgott due his strong, I mean strong, depression doesn't want to do at all. He didn't ask mohg to help and sometimes he doesn't even like mohg being around but mohg still do it - which probably makes some of his followers question his decisions and his promises. But mohg can'thelp himself. When he knows morgott will have some meetings HE is nervous because he knows how hard it for his brother.

Talking about angst I also like the idea based on my personal experience - some people can't be your therapists. They shouldn't at all but if they will they can't help you on a professional level which is what happened between these two - mohg has NO idea how to help his brother who is drowning in self hate. He is here in the time of need but he can't offer anything special. And in morgott case some simple support words and presence is barely enough to survive through some of his states of mind. I think sometimes mohg is exhausted. Based on my experience when some person you talk to is ALWAYS depressed and self hating unstoppable you just.... Give up at some point. And I think sometimes mohg is quite close to this. Of course he won't but it feels like you hitting a wall with your head constantly. Pointless

But talking about positive hc I think instead of open conflict they just tend to make fun on each other. You know, all these cocky comments ir sarcasm with all this "at least I don't serve some his ass tree that doesn't even answer" And they start fighting. Just two stupid boys. I don't have siblings but I think lots of memes about siblings relationship would suit them

Also Morgott and Radahn will find a way to communicate. I think Radahn is actually respect morgott for his skills at fighting and for morgott Radahn is just.... An okay guy. He doesn't try to take the throne or destroy city. I think they would even become sports companions because I think that morgott likes doing sports. It's his only hobby

[burning-academia-if]

Hello and welcome to me yapping about BA. I know this is late, but better late than never! (I have been sick since the end of November, so I also didn't get anything done during December fasdfja). This is pretty long, and I mostly wrote it for myself, since I like giving myself something to look back on in the future + reflect on my work. Feel free to skip this, especially because it is over 2k words LMAO

Brief content warning, there will be a very brief mentioning of health at the end. It won't go in to any detail since it is personal, but it is present! There will be a warning right before I talk about it, but I just wanted to give a head's up! Now onwards, to my 2024 look back: Burning Academia edition.

But first 14 years ago

It's the summer of 2011 (or 2010), and you've just discovered the Persona series for the first time. One day, at the mall, you see a copy of Persona 3 Portable on the shelf in the store, and you beg your very Christian mother to buy it for you, watching as she gives a very hard stare at the blatant "M" rating on the case. By some miracle, you manage to convince her to buy it for you, and then proceed to binge and finish the game in 5 days. Your mom promptly takes away your PSP, which is fair enough in hindsight. You'd played at least ten hours of it each day.

It's the summer of 2011 (or 2010, my memory is Bad), and you also discovered flash dating sims on DeviantArt, which also led to your discovery of otome games in general. Both this and P3P merge together into a story idea. One that you note down in a document full of other story ideas. The notes look like this:

Back then, thirteen year old me imagined an otome game mixed with the classic turn based RPG combat system, but made at a much smaller scale. There were 7 boys, and whoever you romanced changed what the final boss looked like.

It was also centered in a high school, and MC was a lot more of a blank slate sort of character, with no real background. They just happened to find a Weird Book at their private high school and got dragged into nonsense. There were still Wraiths (originally called Night Specters) who you fought during the three month span of the game. Said Night Specters were also controlled by the Resident Voice, who was not a love interest in the original.

Baby Em daydreamed about this idea a lot, for most of summer and throughout eight grade honestly. But it fell to the wayside for things I could actually do (basically, just my writing) and that was pretty much the end of that.

Until it wasn't

Flash forward to 2023, where I was having a rough time and unemployed and to give myself joy I went back through a lot of old files on my Google Drive. I'm not really someone that's ever been ashamed of my creative work, and questionable stories and art I drew are things I'm more fond of than anything. When I stumbled upon this, my brain latched on to it, so I took it, and ripped out it's guts to create the current version of Burning Academia.

Rook and Beck are the only "original" ROs from all that time ago. But even then, they've been changed A Lot, to the point where the two of them are completely different from what they used to be. Rhea was always a character (originally named Wish), who acted as the Best Friend/Guide for MC. She also completely changed to the point of being unrecognizable to the original. And Zoe was a random NPC who worked at the library. I took them, reworked them, and decided on these four as the love interests. Four was a perfectly manageable number, and BA had also changed a lot storywise that romance wasn't even the point anymore.

Of course, there clearly isn't four ROs LMAO

So, the Voice. They were also in the OG as the Villain controlling the Specters and manipulating your heart as a means to get whatever they were after. I'll be honest, I don't remember what they were originally after. But I've always liked villains whose connection to the hero is one where they dig their claws deep into them. It's how I got the idea of making them essentially 'haunt' MC. Then, the more I developed that, the more it just made sense for them to be an LI to me. The reason they're the only gender selectable one is because they're the one most reflective of MC (and the one who would change the least regardless of gender). And then that was it! We had five, I was done.

Which leads to Lars, I guess.

He ended up becoming a RO at the last minute, as in, a week before the launch of the blog last minute. He was kind of just this antagonist asshole whose primary job was to make sure you didn't do anything too stupid and who hated your guts. I'm going to be honest, I'm not that big of a fan of the asshole archetype, especially as a romance option. But then I got to chapter 5 in the outline of the story and it objectively just made sense. I can't say why because of spoilers, but I think I've mentioned all the ROs and MC are interconnected with each other and are meant to reflect certain aspects of each other in some way. With Lars, it would have felt off to me not to add him in, considering the type of character he'd grown into. So, with a sense of reluctance, I threw him in.

I think Lars is the funniest RO to me, because there was a point in time where he was the most popular on the blog, and I was like 'woah, him.' asldfakjldfjka. Over the past year, he's definitely grown on me in ways I haven't expected, and I think I almost find his awfulness endearing somehow. (To be honest, I think writing the scene of punching him in the face did wonders for my own perception of him).

As for the story changes, this clearly isn't set in a private boarding school ft teens. The original idea was just Persona 3 Portable all over again, because 13 year old me had a problem (I would proceed to replay the game over a dozen times over the years, so I still have a problem). And while I love the themes in P3P, I also feel like some of the things I wanted to write about just made a lot more sense with people within the college age range. I also decided to tie it in to a long standing world of mine, so that way I already had a solid basis of world building and lore. Placing it in what I dub the 'World of Fairytales' really anchored the story in my brain. I looked at all the other stories I'd written or developed that took place here, and I realized I'd yet to write one about death. And that's the focal point of BA:

It's a fairytale about death.

The Reception

I'm going to be honest, when I released BA I just expected it to get the same reception as anything else I'd written up to this point. I think when the demo dropped back in October 2023, I'd released two games, a game demo, and I think my novella and short story collection were out at the time. I'm terrible at marketing myself because I'd much rather vibe and make things than have to talk about it online, which is definitely part of the reason most of my work didn't even hit five hundred plays, save for one which had hit a thousand at that point. But you know, that does make it easy to keep making things when you don't feel like you have a bunch of eyes watching. (At least, for me. I know a lot of creatives feel the weight of loneliness of creation, especially when you pour so much into something only for no one to pick it up. I personally tend to release things on a whim though lol there's plenty of finished works I have laying around that I have no intention on sharing.)

Anyway, I thought Burning Academia was going to be much the same. So imagine my surprise when I post the intro post and I got eight hundred followers in a week.

My immediate thought was "I'm deleting the blog." After a year of making things no one paid attention to, eight hundred followers in a week for something was an overwhelming jump. At the time I'm writing this, we have apparently just crossed two thousand followers(???), which again, I was not expecting lol

I've been reading IFs for years now, dating back to about 2015. I was aware of the general community and vibes, although I wasn't fully in the community and just followed authors I liked. Still, I didn't realize how quick word gets around for a new IF. Especially when all I had was an intro post. Granted, I'd at least already had most of the prologue written and just needed to figure out Twine to code it in, so there was a sense of relief there that I wouldn't keep people waiting. But I did genuinely want to close up shop as quickly as I started.

Part of me is still a bit surprised I'm at where I'm at. I don't really care about numbers, be it mine or others, but I think at this point I'm closer to a mid sized author(?), which I can't comprehend. BA is more of a vibes story, with heavy themes that aren't for everyone. I also know there are certain aspects of BA that just aren't appealing to the overall IF community (it not really focusing much on romance, or the RO options being what they are, or just how bleak the first few chapters are).

I don't necessarily think it's like a niche idea, since it's just a fantasy dark academia, but I just assumed some of the details would make BA not noticed.

Anyway, clearly I'm normal about it now and my blog still exists. I do think if I knew where I'd land at, I might have waited longer to post everything, so I had a bit of backlog and more for people to play in the long run and it would have felt like a shorter wait on the player side. But also, in my defense, I did not expect 2024 to go the way it did.

What I wanted to achieve vs what I actually achieved

So, I wanted to have chapter 3 done before the end of 2024, and maybe even have chapter 4 started. It was a perfectly reasonable goal for me, in any other year where my body was better at being a body. I won't go into detail with health since I know it's a heavy topic for some, but I will briefly mention it since it was a major component to my creative output. Just skip the next paragraph if you don't feel like reading.

//

I got sick pretty much every month in 2024, with multiple of them being pretty bad infections. The second half of the year was a lot worse than the first half of the year, and that's why if it seems like everything slowed down after June/July, it's because of that. From November to now, I've been sick to varying degrees. It's why I did nothing in December because I spent it split between working still, the holidays, renewing various certifications for work, and trying to get some degree of rest between it all. My sister in law is a nurse, and she said I probably have an auto immune deficiency. Whether it's that or not, I'm going to get some tests done, and hopefully 2025 is a better year for me health wise!

//

Of course, I'm not upset with myself. Perhaps a little annoyed because I could have hit the goal I wanted if I hadn't been feeling awful for so much of the year, but I'm not annoyed with myself. Just the circumstances. I'll always be the type of person to take care of myself instead of forcing myself to do anything. Especially with something like this, which would just last to potential burn out.

So, I released 2 chapters of BA, a handful of the RO backstories, and a little short about MC's sister Marlowe. Including the unreleased chapter 3, I managed to write over 150k last year for BA. Which is a pretty solid number, honestly.

Depending on how life goes, I'll be aiming for up to chapter 4 this year. It'll also be a shorter(?) chapter than 3, or at least a little more manageable since chapter 3 just ended up having a decent chunk of branching. I won't give any estimates for chapter 3 since when I did, I missed all of them LMAO It'll release when it's ready, and I'll be chipping away at it during the times I feel alright.

Final Thoughts

This is already pretty long, so I'll bring it to a close here. If you read this far, thank you for listening to my yapping. And also just thank you to anyone whose played BA and decided to follow along for the ride!! I love BA a lot, and its both very fun and amazing and weird to see others enjoy it with me. The fact I've gotten so many asks, or fanart (please know if you drew fanart, it has been imprinted in my brain forever and also saved in a little folder on my desktop lol) is still a little surreal. So uh yeah, thanks for being here.

For my last trick, since you made it this far you can have an assortment of mindless doodles I have made of BA in questionable quality because I'm bad at photographing my art LOL

(Some of the few digital art doodles I haven't shown. Ft. mirrored Rooks and an unfinished comic page of Rhea)

The Rook pages

The scribbles ft Beck and Lars

The kinda mirrors ft Beck and Rhea

Aaaand that is all because I hit file limit (sorryyyy to Zoe I think I've already shared all the doodles of them I liked throughout the year sjsjsk)

[destielnoirbang]

Code of Silence

By FriendofCarlotta | @friendofcarlotta Art by Rezal | @rezal-art

Coming to Ao3 on 12/13/2024

Rated E | 57,000 words | Graphic Descriptions of Violence

Hollywood, 1955: LAPD Officer Dean Winchester doesn’t mind throwing a punch or fudging the evidence if it means getting wife beaters and cold-blooded criminals behind bars. That approach doesn’t sit too well with his younger brother and colleague Sam, who’s been making enemies at the LAPD with his straight-laced, by-the-book philosophy. Between trying to keep up with the job and looking out for his brother, Dean doesn’t have much time for happiness. Not until he meets Castiel, a handsome escort who is everything Dean never knew he wanted. Unfortunately, Castiel is also caught up in a criminal conspiracy that reaches far into the LAPD itself. To expose the department’s corruption and save Castiel, Dean and Sam will have to put aside their differences — and reckon with a dark secret in their family’s past.

[Keep reading for a sneak preview!]

When he drew level, he chanced a glance over at the other man, who turned when he sensed that he’d become a subject of scrutiny.

Dean’s breath stopped in his throat. The man’s jaw was sharp as a word spoken in anger, his skin pale and clean-shaven. Long, graceful fingers played idly with one of the free Funtime Liquors matchbooks as he waited. His eyes promised mischief and mysteries. Dean wouldn’t have been surprised to learn the man had just stepped out of a movie screen.

Too late, he realized he was staring, and then only because the man’s plump lips had twitched slightly on one side.

Dean cleared his throat. “Merry Christmas,” he said.

“Merry Christmas to you too, officer,” the man returned.

Dean flinched, feeling caught out. Whoever the man was, he was clearly smart if plainclothes didn’t fool him. “That obvious?” he asked.

When Dean chanced another glance at the man, he was still looking back, humor glinting in his eyes. “It’s practically stamped on your forehead.”

Maybe Dean ought to have taken that for the dismissal it likely was, but the bit of humor in the man’s gaze felt almost akin to a smile. Most men wouldn’t smile at someone they wanted gone.

“Haven’t I seen you in a movie?” Dean tried.

The man dropped his head with a low, rough chuckle. Dean fought down a surge of embarrassment. A handsome man in a well-cut suit, five blocks from Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, where all the most glamorous Hollywood premieres took place? It wasn’t too outrageous a guess.

Dean was about to tell the man “never mind” when he caught Dean’s eyes again and said, “It’s unlikely. Unless you happened to pay very close attention to Youth Number 3 in the opening scene of It Came From Saturn's Rings.”

“You were in that?” Dean asked eagerly. This time, there was no fighting the heat on his face. He had a great weakness for science fiction movies, and he remembered seeing a screening of It Came From Saturn's Rings on opening night some three years back. Even working in Hollywood for as long as he had, he’d never stopped being a little starry-eyed about anybody who’d graced the silver screen.

His question got him an interesting reaction: the man’s head tipped to the side, his eyes narrowing, the better to study Dean. For the first time, he seemed to put some actual stock in their conversation. “You’ve seen it?”

“Yeah,” Dean confirmed, embarrassingly pleased to have found this patch of common ground between them. “It was good.”

It hadn’t been anything special, in truth, but the man was smiling in earnest now, one side of those plush lips curving up, and Dean thought he’d do just about anything to keep that smile going.

[stickynotelovers-art]

Who decided to make less work for herself by adding more work for herself?

While I say that, this was actually a great help to do this! (Even though I actually drew the rough sketch beforehand, it's nice knowing I wasn't completely off in placements of the bars and such)

I realized I was going to have to draw the bed and hospital equipment for Leo multiple times from at least.... 4?? different angles, I think. I knew this would be extremely difficult and time consuming trying to keep stuff looking relatively the same proportions and such, but then add in the fact that I will also be drawing up to 9 CHARACTERS in at least 1 panel and this became even more difficult to think about.

Very randomly in the shower I remembered that A) I have Blender on my computer for 3D modeling, B) I have a bachelor's degree in Game Art where I learned how to 3D model, and C) I need to practice anyway because it's been a few year. So yeah.

Looked up some reference images of what I needed and started modeling! Are they pretty? No. Would I use this as an example on how to 3D model? Absolutely not.

BUT! It gets the job done for the purposes I need it for. This is such a great way to make your own reference shots instead of trying to scour the internet for possibly helpful images. PLUS, it's a skill set you are learning!

I'm still trying to familiarize myself with Blender and am struggling trying to understand a lot of it's features, but I'm at least able to say I created something, lol.

(And yes, the bed doesn't actually have the bottom half, but I can just draw that on my own, I just mostly needed where Leo will be in the bed c:)

[magicalyaku]

I read one of the worst books this year in September and easily the best one in October. Let's start at the top and work our way down! :D

Prince of Fortune (Lisa Tirreno): This is everything I want in my books. 11 out of 10. Perfection. It's soo cute. The characters are so nice, Aubrey is so capable (I really didn't realize how much I am in awe of characters who have simply learned their skills and are using them confidently). Love stories in times of war are usually terrible for my heart (the suffering and fear something might happen to the characters!), but this story managed to not break me not pieces, my heart was just melting the entire time of cuteness and shit. Pretty sure I started smiling from page one and maybe never stopped. The bonds between the family members and friends are nice and the magic and the whole plot works well. Must be one of the few instances where I actually liked the marriage sub-plot (Aubrey's initial reaction was the best). Also no smutty scenes in here, rather the leadup to the fade to black had me squealing (because cute). Highly recommended.

Legend of the White Snake (Sher Lee): Another good one! Not quite the level of Prince of Fortune, but I enjoyed this one as well. I really liked how the author just had to share alle the cool snake facts she knows. xD But also about Chinese history and culture. She (correctly) assumed her readers wouldn't know, so she just explained the important stuff, be it about shrines or garments. Or cultivation. I encountered cultivation before, in the various summaries of Chinese light novels and never understood what it was (because I only read the summaries duh), but it's everywhere! I naively assumed it wouldn't be in here, though, because it's for the Amerian market or something and literally two pages later they started talking about it. xD But it was fine, I finally know now, right. It's a very solid and charming story with just the right amount of everything. Also, another capable young man. /D

Sorcery and Small Magics (Maiga Doocy): Aaand another good one! Three in an row! Nope, this time the main character is not capable. The opposite actually, but he's fun and it's nice to have a slightly diffent type once in while. (He is capable in his own way, though). I had a rough time not reading him as Avra from Runnning Close to the Wind, because they share some qualities. And I completely misjudged the characters ages going into this, thought they'd much older when they're only students. So I had to do some adjusting in my head. :'D It's a fun and vibrant story with an interesting magic concept. Lots of adventure, a very slow romance (which is good), and a really good showdown (love it when things work out like that)! I'm looking forward to the sequel! :)

The Boy who Steals Houses (C.G. Drews): It took me a whole week to get through the 170 pages of Saint Sorrow Sinner (look below) and that was with a 12-hour flight inbetween. Afterwards, I picked up this one and read its 360 pages within five or six hours. That is the difference in quality. I had my sights on the author's new book Don't let the Forest in but was unsure whether I wanted to buy or borrow it, so I picked up the author's previous work. And boy, it is good. There is a little romance, but it's much more about family standing up for each other. I found striking how well it is written even in the long passages when the protagonist is all by himself with no dialogue. Very emotional stuff. Pretty sure, I shed a tear or two towards the end.

A Tale of Two Knights (James Persichetti (Story), L.S. Biehler (art)): I don't usually include the graphic novels that I read, because then why not include manga as well and then we'd never finish. I have things to say about this one, though. Mainly, it's fine as a comic but I think it would have profited from being a novel. There's just not enough time and depth in the early journey. The latter half with the action was fine but the development of the love story is pretty lacking. Cute, yes, still lacking. It's also a bit odd how the title is about the two men, when a lot of (rightful) focus is given to Morgan. In a (well-written) novel, there would have been a lot of possibilities to expand on this. The character art is a little wonky sometimes. Some panels look really good, others are a bit off. I found it very strange that the party does not carry any luggage at all after they give away their horses. Where do you even hide your canteens? Who decided that this is fine and people on a critical mission can continue on without anything? What I really liked, however, was the color schemes. The different places and daytimes are very pretty in their lighting and coloring. All in all, it was fine. Buut I wish it had been more.

When Haru was here (Dustin Thao): I bought the German edition of You've reached Sam and read like 20 pages of it before I put away again because I was not feeling up to it. But when this one came out I had just read two books in a row about depression and grief and was like "What's one more?" It was okayish. Halfway through, I was very frustrated and annoyed, not necessarily with Eric himself but all people around him were just assholes, even Haru, telling him what to do and what not. It redeemed itself towards the end, though, so it was fine.

Saint Sorrow Sinner (The Gideon Testaments 3) (Freydís Moon): This one is not pictured, because we do not support the author here. They had some scandal regarding faking their identity (again) earlier this year, so if you want to know, go look it up, it'll be easy enough to find. I had, however, already purchased this book with the return period just run out and decided I might as well read the end to the trilogy. Maybe I was going in biased because of the author's wrongdoings, but I hated this book. I haaated it, omg. I thought the previous two volumes were interesting. Not easy to read for me, despite their short length, and I disliked the smut scenes in both of them, but there were interesting themes going on. And the action happening at the end of volume 2 had me wanting to read the conclusion. That conclusion was, however, pretty bad. It's short again, yet hardly anything happens except the characters sitting together and eating and bathing. And romancing. That was the thing that put me off so hard. The story is so short, but it needs to include another love story, really? Sophia gets out of the cult and falls for the very first uncoupled human she meets. Hate it! Stories where all characters need to be coupled up. Hate it, hate it! But, oh, of course we also need to do found family. (Really, why not just focus on that.) And it's not just Norse gods anymore and the Christian god and angels, now there's a banshee as well, which is what originally? Irish? But is it actually what is portrayed in the book? Thing is, after the author lied so blatantly about themself, I didn't feel like I could trust anything they write. I don't know anything about religion or being autistic or trans, so I have to take it the way they write it, but I can't trust anymore that this is how those things actually work and that feeling persisted throughout the book and was not a good one.

Two posts more to go before the end of the year!

[p-artsypants]

The Pale Rider (21) Check

Ao3

Waking up beside the Rider was becoming one of Astrid’s favorite things. They fell asleep holding hands, and she woke up being held by him. He cradled her comfortably to his side and wrapped his arms around her protectively. Even after she woke up, she snuggled up to him and rested, enjoying his embrace until he awoke. 

—-

Astrid curled up in the Green Drawing room with the journal. The Rider had given her a kiss goodbye before heading into town. He had a full day helping Oswald get settled in. There were old laws to go over, ordinances, grievances, and procedure. It sounded like a headache and Astrid pitied her husband. 

Astrid had her own busy day planned. While she was comfortable on the loveseat, she had a second notebook open beside her, ready to take notes about anything and everything that was important. 

“Three days,” she said to no one in particular. “I’m going to have this curse solved in three days. 

“That’s optimistic,” said Valka. “What makes you so sure?” 

“I’m not. This journal came up when I asked the Library for all references to ‘Finn Hofferson’. Either it has answers, or none and I’m back at square one.” 

“That journal looks familiar…I can’t place it though.” 

“Could it have belonged to Finn?” 

“Possible, even likely.” 

It was a dark brown leather, almost black. The center had a sleek, simplified design of a dragon dyed red, cut from another piece of leather. 

Astrid opened the first page and looked at the little dragon drawing again. Whoever made this book had some real talent. 

The next page had another drawing. That of a saddle. Unlike the Terror, this drawing was very mathematical, with precise edges and measurements for each section.

It was probably the saddle for a dragon, though which kind, she couldn’t guess. She only knew the ones the Rider had introduced them to, and even then, they probably looked a lot different with skin on. 

The next page was another schematic. This one was of a leg. A leg that looked a lot like the Rider’s. 

She stared at it for a while, comparing it to the one she’d seen the Rider and Gobber make together. It wouldn’t be exactly the same, because they didn’t have this sketch with them, but there were a lot of similarities. 

The next page had the schematics for…a stirrup, perhaps? It was something the prosthetic leg was meant to attach to, but the purpose wasn’t obvious. 

The next few drawings were more artistic. There was a dragon labeled Monstrous Nightmare, which if she remembered correctly, was the dragon that Snotlout rode. 

The drawing was rough, like the artist was trying to capture the image while the dragon was moving around. It looked fierce and was roaring. 

The same statistics were in the margins like the Terror, with some extra notes like, ‘ornery, dramatic, short tempered, scaredy cat.’ 

Astrid couldn’t help but smile. The descriptions didn’t match the drawing, but they did match the complaints she’d heard from Snotlout about Hookfang. Maybe all Monstrous Nightmares were like that? Or this was a drawing of Hookfang? 

The next two pages held several drawings of Stoick. Some were more detailed than others, but they were all from different angles with different expressions. Most weren’t happy. Actually, the happiest one, she’d consider ‘neutral’. He wasn’t frowning…but he wasn’t smiling. There were no words on the page to connect the artist with Stoick. 

Four pages in a row were filled with drawings of the same dragon. It was rounded and sleek. Sometimes it was colored in, sometimes just line art. A few notes scattered around. ‘Doesn’t like eels.’ ‘Scratch here.’ ‘Nocturnal?’ ‘Responds best to halibut.’ ‘Doesn’t like whole chicken, clean first. Feather allergy?’ 

The dragon was depicted opposite of the Nightmare. It was docile, domestic, and adorable. The artist drew him curled up in sleep, stretching like a cat, or rolling around. 

Then on the last page of the study, the phrase ‘Toothless is sensitive about jokes regarding his tailfin’ was added. 

Astrid flipped back a few pages and looked over the drawings again and again. 

This was Toothless. The real Toothless! This is what he was supposed to look like! 

After a moment, she flipped back to the cover of the journal, and recognized the shape. The dragon on the front was the same! A Night Fury! 

Did this journal belong to the Rider? 

With that in mind, she flicked through the drawings again. The handwriting did look like his, though she wondered if it was different because of his hand size. 

She admired the drawings. As the book went on, the work became better, more refined. 

She couldn’t remember if he ever said he could draw. Was that another hobby that was ripped from him? 

The curse was cruel, and left her dear friend—her husband—a hollow shell of the person he used to be. How much would he change when all was restored? 

It didn’t matter. She promised to love him, and so she would. His humanity was too important to worry about these little details. 

She found a portrait of a young man. He had his hair back in a braid and a hammer in hand. 

Next to the drawing was the note: 

‘My friend Finn Hofferson hard at work.’ 

So Finn was his friend! She wished she could take this to the Rider and show him, but he’d likely forget afterwards. 

Under that label was a different set of handwriting: 

‘My nose is too big, and my arms are too small. 

Get good. 

-Finn ❤︎’

In the bottom corner was a new figure, a poor doodle really, of an extremely muscly man, with the caption, ‘better?’ 

Beside that was a drawing of a stack of rocks.

‘What is that?’

‘Thumbs up’

‘Sucks ❤︎’

Astrid couldn’t help but laugh. Here were two guys taking the piss out of each other, preserved after 300 years. Here was a documentation of friendship. Viggo’s magic could interfere and change their memories, but this was proof of a friendship. 

The next page had another schematic, this of a weapon which sort of looked like a sword, but the blade was hollowed out like a cheese knife. Different parts were labeled with things like ‘Zippleback Gas’ and ‘Nightmare Gel’ and other parts had measurements for material. 

In the corner, colorful commentary was added. ‘This is dumb, and if you die, I get Toothless.’ 

‘I’m not going to die. It’s going to be built by the best blacksmith on the island.’ 

‘Aw, really?’ 

‘Aye, me, you dickhead.’ 

Then there was simply a frowny face. 

Astrid’s heart squeezed a little. Reading their exchanges was fun and somewhat wholesome, but there was a sobering reminder that Finn was dead and the Rider forgot all about this. 

How painful would this be when the curse was lifted? He couldn’t reconcile with Finn. Not until he died. 

For 300 years, Finn suffered whatever torments the castle had to offer his soul, and on top of all of it, his best friend was denying ever liking him. 

“Finn, I’m so sorry,” Astrid whispered into the room. She hoped he could hear her. 

The journal was thick, and held lots of notes and sketches. Loose pages were stuck in here and there. There were more drawings of Toothless. There were a couple pages on Stormfly, who looked different with skin, more than she was expecting. The other dragons that her friends were training with all had a page or two. Invaluable information that she’d take with her. 

She poured over each page, drinking in the bits of information from a forgotten life. Even if it had nothing to do with the curse, she wanted to know. She wanted to see him, and see Finn. 

One folio was just notes. They were awkwardly stacked, like Finn and the Rider had been sitting side by side and passing the book between them. 

‘Bored’ began Finn’s handwriting. 

‘So you’re vandalizing my notebook? Rude. Do you know how expensive paper is?’

‘You have plenty of it, son of the chief. You certainly aren’t spending your old man’s gold on clothes that fit.’

‘Again with the pants thing? I thought you promised to drop it?’

‘No way. I will remember you splitting your pants in front of everyone for the rest of my life.’

‘It wasn’t that funny.’

‘It was the timing! You just got done throwing a tantrum about how no one takes you seriously, then bend down to pick up that stick for Toothless and rip! Comedic genius.’

‘A, it wasn’t a tantrum, and B, I didn’t do it on purpose, and C, you’re an asshole.’

‘And yet, here I am, sitting at your side during council. It’s almost like you trust me or something. Weird.’ 

‘If Toothless could talk, he’d be sitting there instead.’ 

‘How long is this supposed to go? Viggo’s been speaking for an hour.’ 

‘Don’t know. These meetings can sometimes go for days.’

‘Is your dad really considering abandoning the island? What about our ancestors that are buried here?’

‘We’ll all end up buried here if we don’t do something. And my plan didn’t work.’

‘You should try again. You have another leg.’

‘My mother might kill me. Or you, for suggesting it.’ 

‘What do you think? I thought Viggo gave you the creeps.’ 

‘He does. Honestly, I think I know how to defeat the Red Death, but no one will listen to me.’ 

‘Really? How?’ 

‘I figured out that dragon’s aren’t fireproof from the inside. We wait until she prepares a fireball, and then blast her when she’s full of gas.’ 

‘Sounds extremely dangerous.’

‘It is. I would just go do it, but I need backup in case something goes wrong. Someone to take care of Toothless.’

‘I see why your parents aren’t listening. I don’t doubt it would work, but I don’t want you to risk your life. Not if evacuation is plausible.’

‘Weren’t you just saying I had another leg?’ 

‘It was a joke. You know, humor? You should try it sometime.’

‘I’m hilarious.’

‘Hilariously clumsy.’

‘Evacuation might be enough for the village, but the rest of the dragons are under the Queen’s control. They’re suffering too.’ 

‘Your heart is so big. One might say too big. No one is going to advocate for them.’

‘I am.’ 

‘And I and Stormfly thank you for it. But you’ll be outvoted.’ 

‘I have to try, right? Besides, Viggo’s hiding something. He’s not just doing this out of the goodness of his heart.’

‘As you’ve said, but what’s the proof?’

‘None yet, but there’s something about him that sets my teeth on edge.’

‘You sure you aren’t being magicist?’

‘That’s not a thing.’  

‘You know what I mean. You're mostly feral, so well-read people make you uncomfortable.’ 

‘Which is why I hang out with you?’

‘Oh I walked into that one. Well played.’

‘Thanks. And in regards to Viggo, I don’t know what it is. Toothless gets his hackles up whenever Viggo gets near. Look, he’s pacing by the doors.’ 

‘Oh yeah. He looks really agitated. I get it. But is there really a harm in hearing him out?’ 

And that was where the conversation ended, at least on paper. Who knew what happened after? 

The next page had a rough sketch of the Berk she knew. The town had changed a little even in her lifetime, so of course the map was different, but the layout was familiar. The Great Hall was the same, as well as the family plots for the Jorgensons, the Thorstons, and the Berserkers. The forge was marked, as were some of the oldest buildings like the armory and the storehouse. 

So, they ended up listening to Viggo. Of course she knew that was the conclusion, but she wondered how quickly they agreed. There were likely several months that passed between these two pages, as no doubt the Rider had been busy during the evacuation and relocation. 

The next page started a new trend with the sketchbook. There was a journal entry, dated and everything. 

‘I don’t like this place. Something is very wrong with this island and I’ve been up to my eyeballs with work since we came here, I haven’t been able to think straight. I just need to get my thoughts down. 

Since we arrived a month ago, the dragons have been agitated. I’ve gotten blamed for it, but I've certainly tried my best to keep them calm. They just don’t like it here! Not that I can blame them. There’s no native dragons here either, which is odd. We’re far past the archipelago, but even here there should be dragons. There’s plenty of other animals like deer and boar though, so whatever killed the previous inhabitants, it didn’t affect the animals. 

I’m living up in the fort on the mountain with mom and dad, and Viggo and Ryker. Finn and Hildagard offered me a place to stay until we could build a hut for myself, but I declined. I know Hildagard could use more help around the house with little Eyvind, but I just can’t shake the feeling that my parents aren’t safe with the Grimborns. So until I’m satisfied that Viggo really isn’t up to anything, I’m keeping an eye on him.’

The entry was signed! She didn’t quite know what to make of the signature though. It was an Hagalaz (H) rune with three vertical lines in it. At least, she hoped it was a signature, and not a random symbol. 

The next page was written a few days later. 

‘I’m exhausted. Which really shouldn’t be a surprise with all the work I’ve been doing since we got here, but I’m starting to get concerned. I’ve always had a poor sleep schedule, but I’ve never felt this drained before. Finn said he feels the same, but chalked it up to Eyvind. Everyone else is saying that it’s the drain of the move. Maybe I am going crazy. Maybe I’ll take a day off to go hunting or take the dragons to explore the neighboring islands. 

‘I bet I’ll feel better getting away from Viggo’s ‘healing aura spell circle’ for a while.’ 

And it was signed the same way. 

As Astrid read over the last bit again, she grew suspicious. Just as the Rider had been, it seemed. 

The next page didn’t have an entry, however. Instead, a very familiar, and very completed spell circle. It spanned both pages, and had every detail down. 

The entries continued on the next page. 

‘Viggo showed us this spell circle when he gave us a brief tour of the fort. He said it was a healing aura he’d put down when they first discovered the fate of the island, in order to purify it. 

‘I didn’t believe it for one second. First of all, the statues around the room are too realistic. I don’t think they’re natural. And second of all, why here? Why not in the town? In the Great Hall? Or build a new structure in the square? It doesn’t make sense! But now everyone is shrugging me off. I can’t convince a single person to listen! Even Finn is being short with me!

‘The exhaustion persists, and I think it’s making everyone cranky. Cranky Vikings are stubborn Vikings. The dragons have been restless too, and I can rarely get them to help in town. They’d much rather fly to the sea stacks or be in the woods away from town. 

‘Maybe I am going insane. Maybe I’m the one that’s intolerant. Dragons are one thing, but mages are another? 

‘Still, I won’t feel safe until I discern this spell circle. If he’s telling the truth, I’ll relax. 

‘Here are my notes on the circle symbols.’ 

What followed was a list, going symbol by symbol, and describing the meaning and origin of it. She had done similar, earlier. But he seemed to have gotten it all! 

The information took up several pages, each page absolutely crammed with info. He wrote extra notes in the margins and along the edges, anywhere there was room. 

Astrid saw a few she recognized from her research, but he had more. He’d made observations about correlations between boxed sections. 

Words like ‘necromancy’ and ‘death magic’ were repeated and underlined. It painted a grim picture of the purpose of the circle. 

It was definitely not for healing or purifying.

‘The previous inhabitants of this island were Celts. There’s evidence of their lives as their written language is still present on signs and buildings in town. Their mages are called Druids, and they worship nature and the natural order of the world. This spell circle is not Druidic. Ergo, Viggo is not a Druid, like he’s been telling us. 

‘From everything I’ve read, this spell circle is some sort of soul ritual. Either its purpose is to convene with the dead, or, Odin preserve us, harvest souls. To what end, I can’t begin to know. But I have to tread carefully at this point. Any accusations will have to be accurate and able to be proven, or dad will send me back home. 

‘Honestly, I wouldn’t mind. I’ll take my chances with the Queen.

‘To give Viggo the benefit of the doubt, I’ll assume that the circle is to convene with the dead, and by purifying, he’s trying to appease the souls that died here. I would understand why he lied, at least. 

‘But if it’s the second thing, I’d bet my life that Viggo is the one responsible for all the deaths here. The longer I think about it, the more likely it seems. What are the chances that Viggo and Ryker just happened to stumble over an island that died? And what are the chances that they just happened to find our tribe, who were desperate for escape? What if he knew we’d hear him out? What if he knew he could trick us here? 

‘Gods, I feel sick. If this is true, we’re all going to die. I don’t know when or why, but it has to be soon. I’ve got to find someone who will listen. 

‘Or I’ll have to do something stupid and crazy.’

Astrid set the book down in her lap and stared at the ceiling. Tears pricked at her eyes. She knew what was coming, and that was almost worse. 

What if Valka and Stoick really didn’t know any different? What if they never had their memories manipulated, but believed their son was always in the wrong? 

She plowed on, hoping for answers. 

The last entry in the sketchbook was a letter, and the ribbon bookmark held the page. 

‘Dear Finn, 

‘If you’re reading this, I was brave.

‘I lied to you. I said I didn’t know what ritual Viggo was planning, but I lied. I knew what I was interrupting. But I also knew no one would believe me. So I’m leaving my notes with you, and hopefully you can clear my name when I’m gone. It’s the only tangible proof I have. 

‘I had been spying on the Grimborn brothers since we got here, and I finally discovered the truth. Late last night, Viggo explained what was going to happen in the ritual to Ryker. The two brothers will stand inside the spell circle and be safe, while every living thing within 20 miles will die. At which point, the brothers will absorb the life energy and finish extend their lifespans for a couple hundred years. They’ve been planning this for years, and this is the third time they’ve done it. And if I don’t stop them now, they’ll do it again.

‘I know I sound crazy, and I know no one will believe it at first, but if you could at least tell my parents, I want them to believe I died for a good reason, and not because I was jealous. Because I’m pretty sure I will die, but I hope I can take them out with me. 

‘I left the wooden puzzle cube on this journal for Eyvind. Tell him that his uncle loves him. Tell him I was a good man, and that I died protecting the village. 

‘I love you too. I’ll be waiting in Valhalla.’ 

And it was signed with that little symbol.

Astrid shut the journal and hugged it to her chest, trying not to let her tears drip onto the pages. 

He didn’t die, but he went into this thinking that he was all alone. 

Angry, frustrated, at the end of her rope, Astrid set the sketchbook down and headed towards the Foyer. 

Viggo knew she was onto him. He had to. There was no point in this game they were playing. She wanted answers, and he was going to give them.  

“Viggo,” she declared, standing in front of him. 

He didn’t move, just continued to be a realistic painting. 

“I know you can hear me. And I know that you aren’t as innocent as you seem. This curse wasn’t an accident. This is malicious punishment on the Rider. He saw how evil you were and tried to stop it. You tried to kill everyone and steal their lives. Tell me I’m wrong.” 

Still, he didn’t move. 

“Don’t you hate being stuck in this painting? Aren’t you tired, too? Why don’t you just let me end this?” 

Nothing. 

She grit her teeth. “What’s the Rider’s real name, Viggo? Where do I find it?” 

Torturously slow, Viggo moved, rolling his head over to look at her with dead eyes. He breathed, the air coming from his lungs sounding grating and agonizing. 

“Murderer. Demon. Monster. Those are the only names befitting the creature that killed my brother and I.” His words were slow, as if speaking them brought him even more pain.

She didn’t buy it for a second. “Even if he did kill you, he had a good reason. I found his notes that prove you lured our ancestors here for a sacrifice. The Rider isn’t responsible. He’s a prisoner like everyone else.”

“Whatever notes you found are just the ramblings of a disturbed individual. With my dying breath, I used my magic to bind the Rider to this island. He needed to be punished for his treachery. I did not know the extent of my curse, or how it would trap you here with this monster.” 

“The Rider is not a monster. He chose to help everyone in the village, even without all of his memories. He’s protected us from raiders, he’s given us treasure, and he helped me when I had no one else to turn to.”

“He’s manipulating you. It’s what he does. Why do you so blindly trust him? He killed me, and he convinced you to tear out your heart.”

Astrid grit her teeth, trying and failing to keep her anger in check. “You can’t fool me, Viggo. It was you trying to convince the Rider to put me through the ritual. This is what you’ve wanted all along. I had to convince him to go through with it.”

“You are surely mistaken. I would never ask the Rider to rope someone else into this hell.”

“I heard you!” She snarled. “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid, Viggo.” 

“I don’t believe you are, Astrid,” he winced. “I think you are really very clever. It’s just…I think you misheard me.”

“Fine,” she bit. “Say I believe you. Say the Rider is a cold blooded murderer. He’s walking around, making friends, on the town council, married. You’re still trapped in this painting. Why not tell me how to break the spell and set everyone free and let the town and Stoick deal with him?” 

He gave her this sugary-sweet pitying look and answered. “You really think Stoick would punish his only son? The boy is responsible for the death of so many of his tribesmen during his asinine attempt to kill the dragon queen. He so desperately wanted to be the hero and save the day, but instead, he failed miserably. A hundred people perished, and Stoick was content with dealing no punishment because he lost his leg.” 

“That’s not a good comparison. He tried to help and any deaths were accidental.”

“How would you know? Were you there?” 

She sneered, clenching her fists, but attempted to calm herself down with a few deep breaths. “Regardless, you’ve certainly punished the Rider plenty, and now you’re punishing everyone else. You said yourself you wouldn’t have cast that spell if you knew how it would affect everyone. So tell me how to break it, or I’ll know this was petty revenge against him interfering with your spell.” 

Viggo was quiet a long time, his eyes narrowing as he studied her. She had him cornered, and she knew it. Either he had to admit he was lying or give in, and she figured he was too proud to admit he was lying. So he would concoct another lie, surely. Or a partial truth. 

“You are right, my dear,” He finally admitted. “I have allowed revenge to cloud my mind.” He sighed and rolled his head back, looking up at the ceiling. “My magic changed him. It stripped him of his humanity. His appearance was only reflecting what was inside. But he should face judgement by men. Surely after all this, once the real truth is revealed, he won’t be let off easy.” 

“I’ll make sure he’s judged fairly because of his actions.” 

“That’s all I can hope for, I suppose.” He coughed weakly. “But in order to break the curse…I fear it’s simply not possible.” 

“Tell me anyway,” she demanded. 

“You’re partially right. The key is his name. I took it from him…names have power, you see. By taking it, I removed memories of pride, of happiness, of success. If he wants to regain his humanity, he will need to reflect upon these moments.” 

“But he can’t. He’ll forget them.”

“Precisely.” 

“He can’t do it alone, but what if I help him? What if I help him reflect? We’ll go over the memories over and over until it sticks. Just tell me where to find his name.”

“It’s in the Dungeon. A runestone is engraved with his full name. I shattered it. You’ll need to find the pieces scattered throughout the maze of the dungeon. But of course…my dear brother is down there.”    

Astrid swallowed thickly, feeling sick. “But…the Rider destroyed Ryker’s body not too long ago. He’s not a threat…right?” 

“True! Yes, he’s still putting himself back together. So there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.” 

Astrid doubted that completely, but if there was a chance to go down there, she needed to take it. 

“Nothing to worry about at all,” she nodded. 

He smiled. “Well, I suppose that since we’re on the same page, I should let you go. You will make sure to relay all I’ve told you to the council, won’t you?” 

She nodded. 

“Very well.” 

Then there was a click and the painting, which was as big as she was, slowly swung free and revealed a secret passage beyond it. 

“Good luck,” he said, and she swore there was malice in his voice. 

Astrid swallowed and entered, the door clicking shut behind her.

The passageway was cast into an eerie green light, one that was emitted from her eyes. The walls were bare and smooth, lacking in decoration and embellishment. The air felt heavy and stale, and smelled of dust and concerningly, something rotting. Even sounds were suppressed, as her footsteps were almost completely silent. 

The passage was long, and sloped. For a while, it just went down and down and down, and then it would turn to the right and continue down and down, and then right again. A slow, wide spiral. The stone had no seams or grout, seemingly cut out of the mountain itself. It was cold, it was dark, and it was unpleasant. 

The passage finally gave way to a large room. She was on the balcony of a panopticon. The balcony went all the way around, and she could see several cells that sat in intervals on her floor and on each floor down to the bottom. There were several floors down, and the only reason she could see the bottom was because a circle of candles were illuminated. They lined a dais, which was stained with blood and littered with bones. Several long, broken chains crossed over it, but little else. 

She swallowed thickly, wondering if that was already a bad sign. 

As she leaned over the iron railing, something grabbed the back of her dress gently and tugged. Just two short, gentle tugs. 

Feeling the worst sort of chill rush over her, Astrid turned with trepidation to face whatever had called her attention. 

She almost screamed. A skeleton, old and bloody, stood just behind her. The only reason she didn’t scream was because it held a finger in front of its face to tell her to be quiet. She had just enough sense to heed its warning, but little else. She had to clap a hand over her mouth. 

The skeleton just nodded at her, then crooked a finger, beckoning her along. 

She wanted to punch it, kick it, send it scattering all over the floor like a broken vase, but she just obeyed, following its lead in this precarious place. 

It led her to a room with a wooden door, and opened it for her. Then it gestured her inside. 

She shook her head and insisted it go first. 

The skeleton shrugged and entered, then waited for her to follow before closing the door. Almost immediately, the room became illuminated with another light, this one blue. A ghost inhabited the skeleton, and she could see its hazy form around the bones. 

“Sorry for scaring you,” he said softly. “I didn’t know how to get your attention without making noise.” 

It took her a moment, but she began to recognize him. “Are you…Finn?” 

“You do remember! Thank Odin, I thought I’d have to repeat the dream monologue again!” 

“What are you doing down here?” 

“This is my physical form,” he gestured to the skeleton. “I should be asking you the same thing! It’s so dangerous down here! Especially for you!” 

“I found the Rider’s journal. I learned what he learned, that he unlocked the meaning behind the spell circle and figured out Viggo’s plans.” 

“The journal!” He smacked a hand to his forehead, the bone on bone making a clack. “I should have told you!” 

“Well, I found it because of you. Your name was in it, so the library brought it when I asked.” 

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

She crossed her arms. “I confronted Viggo. He’s playing coy and innocent, but I reasoned that he should let me remove the curse so that the Rider can face justice in a court of law. He conceded and told me I could find the Rider’s name down here.” 

“Down…?” He looked around, like he’d see it written on the wall. “Of course he would have hidden it down here. Bastard!” He shook his fist, the bones in his wrist rattling. “Damn. Damn damn damn!” 

“He said there’s pieces scattered about and I have to collect them.” 

“He could have very well been telling the truth about that,” he conceded. “But he left out some very crucial information! One, Ryker has been recovering way faster this time around. He’s walking around, but he’s blind.” 

“Oh, that’s why you had to be quiet.” 

“Exactly. Number two, Ryker isn’t the only danger here. The torture chamber is at the bottom of the tower and I guarantee if there’s pieces to the Rider’s name to find, he hid one in that room.” 

“What’s down there?” She asked, her voice low. 

“The Rider’s worst nightmare.” 

“...which is?” 

“I’m not completely sure, but I’d imagine it’s the Red Death.” 

“Great,” she huffed. “So I’m going through this thing silently, huh?” 

“No, you’re going back upstairs and you’re going to let me look.” 

“What?!” She scoffed. “You told me to find his name!” 

“I know, I know, but if I had known it was down here, I would have planned things differently. It’s too dangerous for you to be down here.” 

“Then I’ll come back with my axe. I’m immortal now, like the Rider.” 

He gave a long suffering sigh. “No, you’re not. We’ve had this conversation before, before you went through the ritual, in your dreams.” 

“Oh…I don’t remember my dreams.” 

“I know you don’t! It’s extremely frustrating!” He waved his arms around. “Okay, look, here’s the problem. You’re not immortal, just can’t be killed by conventional means. But this is Viggo’s world and he’ll allow you to die to Ryker or the Red Death, and when you do, I almost guarantee he’ll possess your body.” 

“...he can do that?” 

“I’ve learned a little about his magic, since I’m a part of it now. The ritual makes it exceedingly easy for him to possess you. He just needs to sever your soul.” 

“Then…this was a trick?” 

“Doubtless.” 

“What do I do?” 

“Leave, give me some time to look. I’ll see if I can get some of those pieces.” 

“But…if you’re part of his magic, what happens if he figures out what you’re doing?” 

He smiled slightly. “Probably nothing good, but I’d do anything for the Rider. He’s my brother, now and always.” 

Astrid didn’t know what to say to that. What was the point of asking him to stay out of it? He was already trapped here. 

And probably getting desperate. 

“Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll give you until this time tomorrow, then I’m coming back with my axe.” 

“Then I’ll have to work quickly.” 

----

Heads up! We're coming close to the end of this story, but this was the last cushion chapter I have. So hopefully I'll have the next chapter on time, but we'll see if good intentions pan out. :)

[drill-teeth-art]

A late night, slight retrospective on the tiny amount of Tumblr fame I've gathered that also might be slightly annoying for my audience to read so feel free to skip it if you want.

I started sharing Transformers fanart on here back in 2022, around October. I had been posting art on here for a while before actually but people really started following me and asking about my work and actually reblogging my stuff when I started posting Transformers fanart in 2022. I was in a really low place then, and I really welcomed the attention. My art was and still is something I take a lot of pride in. It's my own. There's quite a few years of my life where the fact I could still draw was the only thing stopping me from attempting suicide. It's something that has always meant a lot to me, so the attention on one of the only things I really liked about myself was nice. It was nice for a while.

But I've gotta say the slight Tumblr fame (and I do mean slight, I've only got around 3k followers which is a lot of people and more than I ever thought I'd have following me and more than a lot of folks will ever have but not like A Ton Of Fame) has wreaked havoc on my mental health. Which is already pretty rough as is. Suddenly I wasn't just some guy making Transformers fanart while desperately saving up to get out of my parents' house. Suddenly I was some people's FAVORITE Transformers artist. Suddenly I was a role model to people and I had people in my DMs clambering for my attention and I had an audience that would cheer or boo or go awkwardly silent at my every post depending on how much they liked it. And it was Not Good For Me. I had and still do have people all over my inbox, excited about how I drew fat and disabled and trans characters asking me over and over to draw some specific representation that I don't want to draw right away. I had and still have people begging me to draw their favorite Transformers character who I happen to not really care about and not want to draw at all. And I am painfully aware how often people take personal offense to my polite "no I'm not drawing that unless it's a commission" and my not answering their ask because I'm not in the mood. I've had people send in asks asking for a specific drawing and then follow up asks when I don't answer in a timely manner. And it's really uncomfortable! And it's almost more uncomfortable that it feels like a lot of people don't even notice that they're making me uncomfortable.

And I like learning how to draw bodies I've never drawn before. I like looking at a character who I think is meh and being like "well actually how can I make them interesting to me...". But it really felt and still feels like my art was getting away from me, like I was drawing more what people were asking me to make instead of what I wanted to because people would take it so badly when I'd say no. I was getting commissions though and I was saving up money to move out so I ignored that bad feeling of getting distanced from my own craft because I was trying so hard to save money and I was actually making some. And I still wanted the attention. Plenty of people were still kind to me despite everything.

Things got weirder for me after I released my Good Bi Gender comic. Which I do still recommend people read I think it's some of my best work. But that comic became a huge hit. And it made things really complicated for a while. I got anon hate. I was told to kill myself by strangers online more than once while I was already deeply suicidal. Something I thought I stated very clearly in the comic itself, that I didn't want strangers calling me "she" though I did and do let my close trusted people call me "she", was immediately ignored by my regular audience and people reading the comic. I got a lot of "you go girl!" kind of messages in response to my comic, and I didn't say anything at the time but it made me deeply uncomfortable. The comic was partly about how the she/her part of my identity is off limits to strangers. How I don't let just anyone she/her me because I work so hard to have the he/him aspect identity acknowledged at all. And it was like what Tumblr decided for me was to go against my wishes. Was to be like "we'll accept your identity for you!" when that's not what I wanted. I did NOT want to be she/her'd by thousands of strangers at the time. And though I'm grateful to have heard the understanding stories of other folks with nonbinary gender identities in the notes, it was deeply humiliating and invalidating to watch as others decided for me to accept the Girl part of my identity. The opening lines of the comic are explicitly a plea to the reader to listen and understand why they're not allowed to use she/her for me even though I'm opening up about the complexities of my identity.

And like. I don't care anymore if people online she/her me. At least I don't care right now that's why she/her is in my bio right now maybe I'll change that. But at the time it was awful. It was something I asked people not to do. And between that and the constant clambering for my attention from people I didn't want to talk to (because I was severely depressed and wasn't looking to make a ton of new friends) and the alienation from my own work I felt like shit. I felt like garbage. I still do. I hate my art sometimes. I really hate it. And for a while, I considered breaking my own fingers just so people would stop acting so entitled to my art and I would have a reason not to post. And honestly the only thing that stopped me was just trying to get by financially. Just watching my follower count and regular notes steadily trend upward so I could do more commissions so I could move out.

And doing things for the numbers, even for a relatively short time, only made things worse. It sounds a little silly even to me, but I get so stressed out when my posts flop, especially if it's art I was really proud of. I'm struggling to detangle my sense of worth in my art from the online numbers game. And I'm proud of the progress I'm making, but it does really suck and it's really hard. And I really wish I was still the same person back in early 2022 who could say "I don't care about the numbers!" and actually mean it because god I WISH I didn't care about the numbers now. Especially now. I dunno if it's me posting more art people don't wanna see or people leaving Tumblr or a shift in the culture of Tumblr but fewer and fewer people interact with my posts despite my follower count ticking up slowly but surely and it kind of bums me the fuck out. But. I am very proud of myself for still drawing the ocs that I want to draw even if they get less notes every time. And even if I'm slightly frustrated they get less notes every time.

I don't really have a neat bow to tie on my personal story right now. I'm still healing and sometimes I backslide and it's hard and it sucks. I don't want to sound ungrateful or to sound like I'm trying to shoo people off my blog because I'm not. I'm really grateful for the attention and interest and I'm not trying to turn people off my art blog. But it's been a rough few years on here. And don't be surprised if you see me take more and more breaks from this website. I do sincerely hope y'all will stick around and watch me continue to post whatever art and say kind things because I do appreciate that a lot. I'm trying really hard to mend my relationship with my own art. To not be so hard on myself. And for the record I don't want any asks telling me to take breaks when necessary or reminding me to draw for me. I appreciate the sentiment, but I already know all that and I personally don't find it helpful to be reminded of things I already know. But anyway. I hope that I will draw more and more of whatever I want to, even if that means I fade back into obscurity.

If you stuck around to read me reflect on the stresses and occasional humiliation of my small amount of online notoriety, then thank you. I appreciate that. And really I do like people looking at my art on here and sharing it and sending asks about my work. And the person I expect to be responsible for my mental health and how much social media is impacting it is Me first and foremost. But sometimes I think that it's important to remember there's a person behind your favorite art blog. And sometimes when you get swept up in parasocial attachment and hype, you kind of treat that person really fucking weirdly. And no that doesn't make you a bad person or a monster. But it does mean you have to learn to deal with it when someone who you might even idolize is like "back off me you're making me uncomfortable".

Anyway. I shouldn't be up as late as I am. A headache has been keeping me up all night. I'm gonna try to rest though. Goodnight.