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thatonegenshinsimp · 2 years ago

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Binding and Blinding (Alhaitham x fem!reader NSFW)

Notes: You guys thought you were getting some wholesome shit, but you were wrong, it’s all angst. I swear it’s like the first time I’ve ever written half of this stuff on this intense of a level and actually put any sort of effort into it so it’s probably not all that great, but I hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

Warnings: NSFW, unprotected sex, fem!reader, sub!reader, riding, bondage (Shibari), doggy style, spanking, sensory deprivation (blindfold), overstimulation, edging, dacryphilia, use of safeword (kinda??? Reader can’t say it because of how overwhelmed she is), rough sex, sappy feelings n’ shit, Alhaitham being the mean dom we all know he is but then being a big softie toward the end

NSFW, minors DNI, by scrolling further past this point, you have chosen to read the content below of your own accord!

You were a very bubbly and chatty individual, always willing to talk with people whenever you had the chance, and a stark contrast to your boyfriend. However, what truly drew Alhaitham to you at first was the way you handled things. You always took great care to plan ahead when doing things, and rarely cowered away in fear from any sort of intimidating situation because of said planning. However, when he got into a relationship with you, and more specifically, started getting intimate with you, he found that the one thing that truly terrified you was not having any way of knowing how to plan for things ahead of time.

You had been talking to Kaveh almost the entire evening at the bar, not paying Alhaitham any attention whatsoever. Since his roommate was spending the night in Ghandarvaville, he had you all to himself, and there was something he’d been wanting to try for a while now. In your eyes, sex was the ultimate show of love that anyone could give their significant other. However, there were times when your dear lover saw it as a stress reliever. That was what scared you, him seeing something so important to you as another tool to use to make his life easier and less stressful. You’d never told him how much it meant to you, but he had a small inkling that you liked more vanilla things in the bedroom than him. However, you agreed to try everything he suggested at least once, and unfortunately, tonight was another experimental night in the sheets. It didn’t help that he was annoyed at his roommate for taking all of your attention tonight, which also made him annoyed with you, which in turn added to his foul mood and therefore his stress and anger. The walk home was silent, with him tightly holding your hand the entire way back to his place. You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, trying to reassure him that you had eyes for him only, but instead of squeezing it back, he started walking faster.

You knew that tonight was going to be a long one when he told you to go up to his room. The moment you’d disappeared upstairs and closed the door, he grabbed the bag he’d gotten earlier that month when he’d traveled to Inazuma. He took out the teal silk rope and the matching silk blindfold from the bag, looking at the stairs. Shibari, which originated in Inazuma, was an activity that was a type of bondage, but could also serve as art, depending on the mood of the situation it was used in. Alhaitham had extensively researched it once the silk ropes had arrived from Liyue. As for the blindfold, he’d be using that on you as well tonight. He had memorized how to tie the knots using the rope, and he certainly knew how to tie a blindfold to where it wouldn’t fall off. He’d always wanted to try sensory deprivation on your sight, since he’d already done so with your hearing using his headphones. Since it had been so well received, and had left you panting and begging for more even when your legs were shaking, he wanted to try taking one of your other senses, which was, of course, sight.

He walked upstairs and opened the door to his bedroom, noticing how you turned shy under his gaze when you looked at him. “We’re trying something new tonight, two things, in fact. I’ve been researching the art of Shibari over the past few weeks, so I know how to tie the ropes, and I’ll be able to tie the blindfold easily. However, I’m still going to teach you a lesson tonight about paying too much attention to other men like you did at dinner. Get on the bed.” he said, watching as you nervously nodded and got on the bed. He focused on tying the ropes, making sure you couldn’t move when he tied your wrists together. He then gave you one last annoyed look before tying the blindfold over your eyes, knotting it at the back of your head. “Are you uncomfortable anywhere?” he asked, watching as you shook your head. You were much more flinchy now, but in all honesty, it gave him some sort of sick satisfaction that you were nervous. Whenever you were nervous, you didn’t like showing it, so to see you like this was truly a treat in his eyes. He needed to relieve himself of the stress from tonight, and this was the perfect way to do it. Alhaitham leaned in close to you and gently kissed your neck, watching as you shivered. You were speechless, almost as if he’d taken your ability to speak. He chuckled softly, the noise serving to make you shudder as a chill traveled up your spine. He didn’t waste any time on preparing you to take him, you didn’t deserve his touch, tonight. He slowly pulled back the covers and let you get under them, watching as you pressed your legs together and rubbed your thighs together to get some sort of friction. He slowly undressed and let his clothes drop to the floor, before getting in the bed under you. “Tonight, you’re going to be on top, and you’re going to ride me until I tell you that you can stop, understood?” he asked, watching as you nodded. “Lift your hips.” he demanded, watching as you did so. He grabbed his leaking cock and slowly lined it up with your slit, pushing himself inside. You couldn’t help but whine softly as he held you there, with only the tip inside. You were about to ask him to move, but cried out loudly when he fully sheathed himself inside of you with one harsh thrust, squirming on his lap. “I think I like you like this. You keep that mouth of yours mostly shut. It’s nice to get a break from your constant remarks every so often. We should do this more frequently.” he sneered, too busy mocking you to notice the fact that there were slightly damp spots where your eyes were on the blindfold. You couldn’t handle the intensity of it all very well, or the fact that you couldn’t move all that much. Sure, depriving you of the ability to hear like last time was a new and exhilarating experience, and left you both breathless by the time that evening was over, but being deprived of the ability to see wasn’t. It felt wrong, vicious, and much crueler than jealous sex with him usually felt. Your sense of touch was enhanced to an overwhelming degree, and you couldn’t help but occasionally shy away from his touch when he tried to give it.

He noticed that you didn’t want his hands on you, and smirked up at you. It was as if you felt his gaze on you, because when you tried to get him to hold your hips still, he didn’t, and put his hands behind his head. “You don’t want me to touch you? Fine, but I’m not helping you ride me if you’re gonna be a brat, sweetheart.” he said, watching as you kept pathetically trying to get him off. He thrust his hips up against yours every so often, watching you make those pretty little moans he loved hearing. Eventually, you mustered up enough courage to speak. “Haitham, m’close, m’so close. Please, m’gonna-” You didn’t have time to finish speaking as he grabbed your chin roughly and leaned in close to your ear. “You don’t cum until I say you can, this is what you get for talking so much all the time.” he hissed, roughly letting go of you. He kept thrusting, knowing that you wouldn’t last much longer. He wanted you to cum first, just so that he could punish you further. “Ngh~ Haitham, please, lemme cum! Please just lemme- AhHng~!” you didn’t even get to finish begging when your orgasm hit you full force, pleasure wracking your body as you squirted all over his lap. The moment you realized what you did, you were too late to apologize, as he pulled out and flipped you over, before sliding right back into you. You gasped softly, before yelping against the sheets as his palm made contact with your bare ass. You tried to ride out your high, but he pulled out completely, ruining your orgasm. It was getting to be too much, but you once again felt like you couldn’t speak, and could only lay there and take it until he was done.

When he came inside of you for the second time as he took you from behind, Alhaitham looked down at you and smirked, leaning in close to your ear as he spoke. “See? I told you not to cum without permission. Perhaps if you’d listened, I wouldn’t have had to punish you like this.” he hissed, before forcing you to ride him again. You were too sensitive, it was too much, but he didn’t see that. He didn’t see the trembling of your lip, or the way you flinched a little when his hands made contact with your hips. He also didn’t see what you were thinking as he kept bouncing you on his lap. You could only barely hold back your sobs as he continued fucking you roughly.

Does he really not like it when I talk?

Do I talk too much?

Should I just stop talking whenever he’s around?

It was those thoughts that kept you quiet, kept you from doing anything other than panting heavily. The moment you started holding back your moans, Alhaitham looked up at you. “What’s the matter, can’t speak? What happened to your bite, hmm?” he mocked. “Go ahead, make as much noise as you want.” he taunted. However, the moment you removed your hands from your mouth, a loud, desperate sob escaped your lips, causing you to cover your mouth again. That made him do a double take, and that was when he noticed all of those little things. You trembled as another orgasm hit, the damp spots on the blindfold being hit with fresh tears as you tried to keep quiet on his lap. You were about to try stuttering out an apology, but stopped midway through that attempt, and settled for collapsing against his chest in a whimpering, sobbing heap. You tried to get up, but he held you down against his chest as your orgasm washed over you in waves. You could only tremble against his chest as he quickly untied the ropes, getting them off of your body. He was hesitant to remove the blindfold, but when he did, you slowly opened your eyes and wrapped your arms tightly around him. He could tell that you were feeling overwhelmed, and slowly rocked his hips against yours to get you through your high. The sensations had been too much for you, and he could tell now. He mentally slapped himself for not being more attentive, and now focused on bringing you back down from the intense high you were going through.

His eyes were wide as panic rose in his chest, and he couldn’t help but try to whisper sweet nothings in your ears as he brought you back down. “Shh, relax, just relax, sweetheart, I’ve got you.” he whispered, his tone a much gentler contrast to the harsh one he used when he was speaking to you earlier. You slowly nodded along to what he was saying, not really catching any of the words coming out of his mouth. The slight rasp of his baritone voice soothed your mind, and calmed your racing thoughts. His soft, soothing voice made you feel every pleasant emotion you could feel in that moment, but above all else, it made you feel safe. Once you’d come down from your high, you looked up at him and focused as hard as you could on what he was saying. “Do you want me to pull out?” he asked, watching as you nodded slowly. He withdrew his hips slowly, letting you lay down against his chest. He didn’t care right now that you’d made a mess of the sheets, the only thing that he was paying attention to at the moment was how you were feeling. He gave you a few more minutes to make sure you were, at the very least, somewhat lucid, before he started speaking, cupping your face in his hands. He knew you were still feeling very overwhelmed, so he asked simple questions first.

“Are you ok?” he asked, watching as you shook your head. “Was it too much?” he asked, causing you to nod. You laid your head against his chest. “Do you want me to clean you up?” he asked softly, pressing his forehead against yours. “Mhmm~” you hummed, sighing when he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom. He handled you like glass, almost as if you’d shatter from being set down on the edge of the bath. He still set you down, and turned on the faucet to the bathtub. The sound of the water was enough to make you cover your ears, your senses still kicked into overdrive thanks to the blindfold. Alhaitham noticed this, and ran back into the bedroom, where he grabbed his soundproof ear pieces, letting you wear them when he came back. Your shoulders slouched and you relaxed, slowly calming down again. Once the bathtub was full, he slowly removed the ear pieces from your ears and put them back in the bedroom. He then slowly picked you up and set you down in the bath, looking at you from the rim of the bath. “Do you want some water? Something to eat, maybe?” he asked, keeping his voice low so as not to overload your senses again. You looked up at him and nodded. “Both?” he asked, watching as you nodded again. “Does Tachin sound good?” he asked. “Yeah.” you muttered, not quite meeting his gaze. The fact that you were still reeling from everything didn’t surprise him, which is why he was taking care of you. “Alright, I’ll let you have some space for now while I go make the food, alright? If you need anything else, shout for me, and I’ll be here, ok?” he asked, taking your hands into his as he spoke, kneeling beside the bathtub. You nodded, reluctantly letting go of his hands and leaning back in the bath. “Don’t fall asleep in here, ok? It’s bad for your back and you might slip under the water by accident.” he said, causing you to nod.

Alhaitham exited the bathroom and looked back at the door, before throwing on a shirt and his underwear and walking downstairs. He quickly grabbed the ingredients and made some Tachin for the two of you. He knew you liked it because of how sweet it tasted, and he’d been marinating the meat he was using for about a day, so he knew it was going to be good once he was done. He cooked it slowly, before walking back upstairs with the plates of Tachin. He saw that you were still awake, and gently tapped your shoulder. “Hmm?” you looked at him. “Do you want me to get in with you for a bit? The food’s still a bit too hot to eat.” he asked, watching as you nodded softly. He took the shirt and his underwear off, throwing them in a quickly forgotten corner of the bathroom. You moved over a bit so that he could get in the water with you, sighing softly as he pulled you backwards into his arms. You looked up at him and saw the worry in his gaze, before reaching up to gently cup his face in your hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t pay more attention to what was going on, it was my idea to use the blindfold and the ropes on you, and I wasn’t thinking things through when I did that. I should have introduced them in moderation.” he muttered, resting his head on your shoulder as he spoke. “I tried to say the safeword, but it was almost like I couldn’t… like I couldn’t…” You were trying to find the right words to describe how you felt. “Couldn’t breathe?” he finished, watching as you nodded. “Can I ask you something, if you don’t mind?” you questioned, looking back up at him. “Anything at all, I’ll try my best to answer,” he replied. “Do you… really not like it when I talk a lot?” you asked, looking to the side. He turned you around and cupped your face in his hands, pressing his forehead against yours. “I love hearing you talk, don’t ever forget that. I don’t know why I said that earlier, I shouldn’t have,” he said. “Can we not use the blindfold and the ropes at the same time again? I didn’t like that at all, and I hated how it made every noise around me sound so… loud. It felt like every noise I heard was inside of my ears when I had that blindfold on, and it stayed that way for several minutes after you took it off.” you said. Alhaitham nodded softly. “Was there anything else that bothered you about tonight?” he asked. “I- yeah, but can we get out of the bath and eat, first? I’d prefer to tell you when we get in the bed, and the water’s starting to get cold. Plus, I’m pretty sure that cold Tachin isn’t really all that tasty.” you said, giggling softly.

He nodded, grabbing the spare set of sheets in the towel closet and making sure that they were on the bed properly before getting some towels and lifting you out of the bath. Alhaitham dried you off and carried you to the bed, setting you down under the covers before drying himself off. He got in bed with you and set a plate of Tachin on your lap, making sure that you had some water first. The sweet taste of the meat and rice, combined with the Padisarah petals he had carefully added, tasted wonderful, and each bite practically melted in your mouth. You hummed softly, turning to your lover and giving him a thumbs up. Once you’d finished the plate of Tachin and downed the glass of water, you leaned back and sighed deeply, looking back over at him. “So, what was the other thing that you didn’t like?” he asked. You gave him a nervous look, and took a deep breath before you started to speak. “You know how I usually only initiate these things when we don’t have anything to do and when we both need to be closer to each other than usual, right?” you asked, causing him to nod. “You know how I told you that I don’t really like super intense sessions like these because of how long we go at it and how rough you get, right?” you asked. Again, he nodded. “That’s because of how much those nights mean to me, you know? I try not to go to you and ask for things like that too often because it feels like it loses meaning if I do go to you too often. I do these things with you because I want to remind you that I love you, and no one else. Whenever you tell me you want to do these things with me, it mostly has to do with relieving stress, and that kinda takes away from why we do it in the first place, in my eyes, you know? I know you get really stressed sometimes, but…” you trailed off, causing him to cup your face in his hands. When you looked up at him again, he saw that you were crying. “I thought you just liked taking things slow, I didn’t know that you felt that way about all of this.” he said, resting your head in the crook of his neck. He held you there for a while, letting you calm down a bit. “But I just… I don’t want to be seen as just a source of stress relief and nothing else, because it hurts, it really hurts.” you whispered, laying down against him. He wrapped his arms around you as the tears fell, thumbing them away gently as he held you there. “I know, sometimes being rough is just what I need, and I know I sound selfish as I’m saying these things, but-” “Don’t… don’t say that, you’re not being selfish by telling me how you feel. If you catch me doing that again, please tell me. There are so many options for alleviating stress, and it’s not like I never had to deal with stress before I started dating you.” he said, giving a small smile before he pressed his lips against yours. You nodded, giving him a smile of your own in return. You yawned as the exhaustion finally caught up with you, and you laid down against Alhaitham’s chest. “I’m exhausted, goodnight, ‘Haitham.” you sleepily mumbled, closing your eyes. Within minutes, you were fast asleep against his chest. He looked down at you for a minute, before pressing his lips against your temple. “Goodnight, (name).” he whispered, closing his eyes and holding you close as he fell asleep as well.

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact alhaitham #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x fem!reader #alhaitham x reader smut #alhaitham smut #alhaitham x fem!reader smut

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pixelatedraindrops · 10 months ago

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RAINCODE COMIC COLLAB~☔️

BEHOLD THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR!!

3 full weeks of work and its finally completed!

So @kazinsblog and I did another raincode art collab together but this one was a HUGE project! This one's a full 18 page comic!

Idk if you all remember the comic idea that Kazin was planning to do that involved Yuma overworking himself until he gets sick and then gets tended to by everyone else. But when I saw it, I decided to ask her if she was willing to possibly collaborate on it, remaking it where she sketched it and I colored it.

Kazin's Beta images: 1 2 3 4

So here's the results of all that work. We've been at this since December 17th so this has been an almost full month collaboration. And of course mine's a bit more altered to my own style as well as adding my own touches and making it a little more whumpy/extreme... X'D I also freehand drew shinigami in my version as well.

Both our versions look pretty different! The only thing that are the same are the poses. So feel free to check out Kazin's traditional version as well!

Since its an 18 page comic, I decided to put it under a keep reading so it won't clutter everyone's timelines. Also, I will be narrating the pages because I love narrating sick filler type stories. So brace yourself for a VERY LOOONG post!! Def need time to read this one! (and no purple tinted filters here this time!)

Also note: If the writing is blue, it means the character is thinking, just like in the game! :)

And I apologize on the inconsistency of Yuma's bangs... I thought it was one way before so half of the comic he looks like he has square bangs... oof XD I fix it around page 10

ANYWAY, hope you enjoy this soft buffet, Raincode Community! 🌡️💕

(Page 1)

Our story begins on an ordinary day in Kanai Ward. Rainy gloomy and depressing as ever. Our little victim... wait... XD I mean protagonist Yuma decides to go out to investigate more about Kanai Ward to try to track down it's supposed ultimate secret. Yakou sets him off wishes him well and tells him to be careful. However, as he's out, he finds out a lot of people in the city need help. Because of his good nature and unable to turn down someone in need, he decides to help whoever he can. (the ultimate side-questing lol) Before he knows it, he's soaking wet and he had helped 10 people in total. Time passed and it was almost evening so he returns to the submarine. Yuma was completely unphased by this. (and he didn't dry himself off for 4 hours due to being occupied with tasks)

(Page 2)

Yuma returns to the Agency's submarine to greet his chief holding his meatbun order. (that also got wet) But Yakou notices that the trainee is sopping wet to the core and shivering. He immediately loudly demands that he sit down so he can tend to him. Yuma does as he's told and sits on the checkered sofa. Yakou rushes to the shower room to grab some small towels to help him dry off. But because Yakou is so panicked, he ends up being very rough in drying Yuma, pulling his hair and causing the small boy pain. After he dries him off, he tells Yuma he isn't allowed to leave anymore for the rest of the day and demands him to rest. Yuma tries to retaliate using puppy eyes, but it doesn't work. Yakou is immune.

(Page 3)

The next day Yuma asks Yakou if he can go out to work after he finishes his morning chores around the place looking very eager. Yakou still looks a little concerned by how tired Yuma looks, so he tells him to not go out alone. He assigns him a partner to go with the rest of the week.

On the first day he's paired with Halara. The two of them are asked to investigate the art gallery of Ginma. (maybe after the nail man case) But over time, Yuma starts developing a lingering cough that persists for quite some time. Halara asks Yuma is he's okay, to which Yuma lies saying that it's due to the dust of the room. But of course being sharp, Halara isn't buying it. But they decide to not persist him further.

On the second day, he's paired with Desuhiko. They're asked to go help out at the Aetheria Academy with another case (not murder related this time) However on the way to the school and in Ginma, Yuma starts slowing down, he's shaking and is a little wobbly. Desuhiko notices this and asks if he wants to go to the cafe for a drink. Yuma nods and as they go to the cafe and order some coffee, Yuma takes off his hat and coat and Desuhiko finally realizes how pale he looks. He's even slower at replying to him as he speaks, as if he's in a daze. Desuhiko decides to take Yuma back to the agency after this.

(Page 4)

On Day three, he's paired with Fubuki. But he doesn't even make it to the case as when he goes to the sun and moon hotel to meet with her, Fubuki notices and points out that Yuma's face looks red. The boy clearly had a fever building. Yuma argues with her but Fubuki persists. The two of them try to go to the case but Yuma nearly collapses. So Fubuki returns him to the agency.

On the fourth day where he's supposed to be paired with Vivia he spends a majority of the day passed out. Vivia decides to watch over him using his forte to not disturb him. During the night while he's asleep, his breathing gets more labored and he's completely restless. Vivia looks at him deeply worried for his dear friend's well being.

The next morning Yuma somehow finds the strength to get himself up. Maybe that one day of rest was enough. But Yakou insists that he stays put today. Angrily yelling at him to be still and take today off as well.

Meanwhile, a certain two seem to notice each other...

(Page 5)

Vivia's spirit notices Shinigami and decides to give her a warning. Make sure Yuma listens to Yakou and doesn't leave. Giving her the iciest glare, Shinigami fearfully agrees.

But this effort would be for naught, despite how he feels, Yuma's relentless determination forces himself up, putting on his rain attire and heads up the steps of the sub to the outside when Yakou isn't looking. Shinigami does what she can to stop him, but he doesn't listen...and Shinigami being a ghost, there was nothing she could do to physically hold him back. All she could do was follow, and prepare for the inevitable.

By some miracle he makes it to the church, up the stairs to speak to the nun. Who tells him to play therapy again for the townsfolk. He nods and heads to his first client. But when he returns to kamasaki to speak to him, he can barely make out what he's saying as he lets out a few more coughs.

Once he leaves the client, before long, Yuma could hear something in his body snap.

(Note: I direct most of the story, but Vivia conversing with Shinigami in spirit mode was actually Kazin's idea! So credit to her for that, So silly and fun! ^^)

(Page 6)

Yuma's body had finally reached it's limit. All the fatigue, chills and body aches had hit him all at once at full force like armed weaponry. His head began throbbing, he was shaking violently and uncontrollably, he felt nauseated by the rain's smell, and his body heat and the lingering dizziness was unbearable. He found a safe corner in the alleyway of Kamasaki to collapse. Telling Shinigami she was right and he should have listened to her, while the burning fever and cold rain wrecked his delicate frame even further. His voice was hardly audible, but Shinigami still heard and practically tells him to go back. But Yuma had no strength left...

Then like clockwork as they finish speaking, he could hear his name called. At first it sounded kind and questionable. But that rapidly changed, the voice now angrily yelling out his full name. As he looked up this voice belonged to...Yakou. He looks down at the boy in pure disappointment and anger.

Turns out a certain someone was tailing him. And alerted Yakou what happened just in time.

(Note: I make the red darker the more extreme the temperature and lighter the less extreme. I got to experiment with all sorts of new ways to color fevers hehe~ >w<)

(Page 7)

Yuma shockingly looks up at Yakou. Oh no, he was so BUSTED! Shinigami even says as much. Yakou practically scoops Yuma in his arms carrying him back to the agency. As he was lifted Yuma's world begun spinning. He could barely hear the chief nagging him in a panicked tone. It was all distorted and it was making his head hurt more. Yakou placed a hand to his cheek and was shocked by how hot it felt. All Yuma could do was apologize and hope his world stops spinning and that Yakou eventually stops yelling... (also I put numbers for the order to read the speech bubbles in)

Upon returning to the agency, Yakou dries Yuma off, asks Desuhiko to give him a warm set of clothes to borrow and put him to his own bed. Grabbing a basin of very cold water, washcloths and a digital thermometer. He placed one of the wet cold cloths under his bangs and upon reading the boy's temperature, it was high. Almost high enough to visit the ER. Yakou was even more mad, but speaks in a non yelling tone. Giving Yuma another stern warning to not leave the bed. To which Yuma weakly agrees to.

But Yakou's back to yelling again, feeling paranoid Yuma would be missing by the time he gets back from getting the supplies. So he drills that message right into the boy's already throbbing head once more. Everyone else in the office awkwardly listen in as the sick trainee gets scolded.

(Note: Just an FYI, Yuma's speech bubbles being wavy is a sign his voice is raspy and the text being a bit hard to read means his voice is hardly audible)

(Page 8)

Yakou leaves Yuma alone and walks into the office in his raincoat telling the other detectives that he'll be leaving soon and to watch over Yuma in his absence and NOT let him leave. He is so full of anger and anxiety that he yells at all of them too.

Everyone agrees and as Yakou leaves, they all discuss among themselves Yuma's state the days they were partners with him. He was in bad shape. And he only got worse as the days went by. They all knew.

(Page 9)

Meanwhile back in Yakou's quarters, Yuma was getting lectured yet again. This time by his death god partner, Shinigami. The poor trainee only wanted peace and quiet to make the pain in his head go away, using what little energy he has remaining speaking in his head he tried telling her to stop.

But the aggravated spirit persisted, saying that as his mentor she had the right to scold him just as much as Yakou. She continued her rant, until an abrupt sound from her master shut her up.

The few coughs that came from Yuma eventually erupted into a full blown coughing fit. The coughs sounding more wet, rough and serious. After coughing 10 to 15 times in a row Yuma was exhausted. Shinigami looked down at him panting with concern and pity in her eyes. She decided to stop the lecture for his sake.

After the fit, Yuma was left raggedly breathing. As Shinigami gave him her permission to rest and take it easy, he didn't answer. He couldn't. That fit completely mangled his throat. He was not able to speak vocally or in thought process anymore due to his head being in too much pain. As was the rest of his body, aching and burning. So he didn't answer her. All he could do was hope sleep would eventually take hold of him to make all this awful heat and pain stop even if for a just moment.

(Note: That's the penalty Yuma... x'D Sorry I gotta make him suffer lol. Also this is the only page that’s actually read left to right. I messed that up, sorry!!)

(Page 10)

After some time passed it was time for the Master Detectives to all take part in taking care of Yuma. The whole agency had a day off to do this. So upon his return, Yakou instructs everyone to look after Yuma in 2 hour shifts through the day. Even if it was just to watch him sleep. He couldn't be left alone.

Halara was first. Their task was to help Yuma take the medicine that was bought. There were three types of medicine for him to take. Antibiotics (white pills) for the general illness symptoms, painkillers (red and white pills) for the headache/fever, and finally...cough syrup. (aka his least favorite... XD) Halara made sure to be very gentle with Yuma propping him upward as his whole body was burning and he was very shaky. He even had trouble drinking the water, so Halara had to get a mug instead so they could help him drink it by holding the handle, and using the other hand to support his back. Despite the struggle, Halara worked diligently to complete their task as a caretaker in full. (as for who paid them to do this...idk I'll leave that to your imagination XD)

(The cough syrup idea was inspired by this fic :3)

Desuhiko had the second shift and the whole time he was waiting for his turn, he was writing a song for Yuma. Having the delusion that his angelic voice would lul the sick boy to sleep, he played his guitar and began singing. Yuma's headache did improve enough to speak in his head now, but that wouldn't last, as the loud noises from the guitar made his head pound even further with every strum. Shinigami begs for the noise to cease fire on her poor eardrums, but Yuma doesn't have it in him to stop Desuhiko. The gesture was kind so he decided to try to listen to the whole song, despite the noise. He does eventually tell him to stop though (using hand gestures) when another song comes afterward. So then the two spend their time conversing for a bit, (though desuhiko does more of the talking as yuma just nods or makes small noises/hand gestures due to his throat still hurting too much to talk) Desuhiko even telling him he could keep the sweater and shorts he had lent to him. To which Yuma softly smiles at him as a thank you before he eventually falls asleep again.

Fubuki has the third shift, and her task was to feed Yuma the warm vegetable soup that was bought earlier and that Halara had just finished making, along with Fubuki's help. She volunteers to feed him as she remembers a time she was ill as a child in the clockford mansion and one of her servants tended to her, feeding her soup just the same. Unfortunately, because this was a memory of her early childhood, she repeats similar phrases as the servant did when she was feeding Yuma, who was clearly not a small child. Yuma's fever had dropped enough to where he could find a bit of strength to try and sit up on his own now, and his once mangled throat’s condition had improved for him to speak a little bit. As he listened to Fubuki's rambling he tries to play along with her despite the whole thing being a bit embarrassing for someone his age. At least the soup was nice and warm. It felt good going down his very sore throat.

(Funny Fact: The order that Yuma is both partnered and tended to by each detective, is the same order as the chapters in game he's partnered with them LOL)

(Page 11)

It was evening, and now it was Vivia's turn to take the fourth and final shift. At first he was just going to sit and watch Yuma while he read his book quietly, but Yakou suggested that he read one of his books out loud to Yuma to help him relax better like a bedtime story. Vivia was unsure at first, as he's never read to anyone before. But he decided to give it a try. He asks Yuma what his preference in literature is before he starts, and Yuma tells him he enjoys detective novels the most. So he pulls out the novel that was in his reading list and begins to read it out loud to him. Turns out he was quite a natural at narrating, and his slow voice was very soothing. Yuma felt so relaxed that he felt like he would fall asleep any minute, but he tries to stay awake to listen to the story a bit more. Shinigami however, conks out immediately. (fyi: yes this is the novel Vivia talks about in his final gumshoe gab. I tried to make up stuff based on it.. X'D)

Once the clock strikes 9pm and night falls, the Master Detectives all wish Yuma well and leave to return to the hotel to retire for the night. It was just Yakou and Yuma now. Yakou, who had just come back from another errand, walks over to Yuma who was now fast asleep. He looked a little better so Yakou removed the towel from his forehead and places his hand onto it. It still felt warm but no longer as hot as it did hours ago. Meaning he was out of the danger zone, much to Yakou's relief. He places the towel back in the water basin wringing it out and re-applying it to his forehead. Then he lets out a yawn. He was pretty tired. He decides that instead of sleeping in the office on one of the sofas, he'd stay by Yuma's side. His removes his jacket, goes and turns off the overhead lights, sits down and places his head down on his desk. Then after telling the sleeping trainee goodnight he turns off the small light by his desk.

OKAY FUN FACT: The comic WAS going to end here going on to the final page... Buuut~ We were STARVING for some good ol' Yakou Fathero :3 So... Enjoy these bonus 6 pages of Yakou having a shift of his own to look after Yuma in the middle of the night. And its the longest shift.

This ones for you Yakou Fathero fans! Eat your fill!

(I know we sure did :3)

Also I apologize if the lighting here is inaccurate ;w; I tried my best I'm no pro LOL

(Page 12)

A little past midnight, Yuma was stirring in his sleep. Making all sorts of groaning sounds as if he was in pain. He was likely having a nightmare. This is confirmed by his eyes suddenly opening and him violently flinging himself up screaming, and the cold cloth flying off his forehead.

This sound wakes Yakou up immediately as he puts his glasses back on asking Yuma if he's okay. He flicks the light by his desk on to check on him. Yuma's found shaking with tears in his eyes stating quietly that it was just a dream. Yakou sympathizes with Yuma as fever dreams were usually not fun, but a fever NIGHTMARE was always bad. The chief offers the shaking trainee some water to try to help him settle down.

(FYI: Shinigami is going to be absent from this part of the story because I think her banter and antics would ruin the fluff, so she'll just be lurking above in the shelf like a cat the whole time.)

(Page 13)

Yuma accepts the water practically snatching it from Yakou's hands and quickly gulping it down. Yakou tells him to pace himself not wanting him to choke. Once he exhales from the water drink, Yuma sheepishly apologizes for waking Yakou up with his scream, feeling like a burden. Yakou reassures him it's okay and decides to ask him the question of why he pushed himself this far while he was still awake. Hard enough to make himself sick. Why did he do it?

Yuma was surprised by this but decides to try to tell him. He hands the water glass back and began talking. Under his raspy voice and somewhat heavy breathing, he says that he wanted to be useful as he felt like a burden to everyone since he lost his memory. He also says that he likes helping others and that it feels familiar to him. Determined to try to unlock a core memory of his past he kept doing this, even to the point of pushing his limits.

Then he suddenly stopped speaking...

(Page 14)

...aaand cue the coughing fit. Yuma's throat got scratchy and irritated after his long explanation, causing him to cough about 5/8 times in a row. Not as bad as his previous fit but it was more than enough to startle and worry Yakou.

Yakou quickly hands Yuma the water glass he had just taken from him hoping it would soothe his throat. He tells him that helping others is a good thing but he shouldn't push himself to the point that his health gets affected. Yuma quietly nods and as he sips the water still shaking, Yakou feels bad and decides to apologize to him for being harsh before. Stating that he only lost his temper because he was scared and worried for him. He also places his hand to Yuma's cheek in both comfort and to check his temperature. It felt slightly warmer than a few hours ago.

Yuma quietly apologizes to Yakou for worrying him, still holding the water glass. Yakou forgives him. Then he takes the glass from him and then the towel that fell off Yuma's forehead. He grabs a fresh one and soaks it in the basin wringing it out and places it back on the trainee’s forehead unintentionally a bit roughly. Yuma groans and shivers a little from the cold of it.

Yakou then lies Yuma back down, tucking him back in trying to make him comfortable. But his actions were a bit too comforting. He was not meaning to in any way and he wasn't sure what came over him, but he was treating Yuma like a little kid. Yuma notices and feels a little embarrassed by it, but decides to only say it in his head.

Yakou decides to do one more thing before he lets him go back to sleep.

(Note: Hey far as anyone's concerned Yuma, you are practically his BABY when you are having a sick day, so deal with it hehehe :3c)

(Page 15)

Temperature taking page time :D (my favorite, teehee! I know some cultures and in anime they take the temperature under the arm, but there's just something so endearing and adorable about a sickie with a thermometer in their mouth <3 OKAY MY RAMBLING ASIDE...)

Yakou is now a bit concerned that Yuma's fever spiked again after that little harsh coughing fit so he decides to take his temperature one more time before letting Yuma go to sleep again. Yuma obliges and goes along with it opening his mouth as the device is inserted.

After 15 seconds the device beeps and Yakou takes it out. Yuma shyly pulls the duvet up to his face and hides as he meekly asks if its any better feeling a little nervous. Yakou responds that it is better than it was the first time, where it was a dangerous degree.

However, he still wasn't out of the woods yet. The fever was still there and although it went down, it was still in the red. Yakou states that he's still feverish to which Yuma just apologizes. Poor thing just wants this to be over, he really doesn't want to trouble anyone anymore.

(sorry yuma I can't let you off that easily hehe 😈)

(also yes I put an instruction manual for how the thermometer works, I am so obsessed that I even give the thermometer lore LMAO. Sorry if I'm inaccurate in any of those readings. I used google... ^^;)

(Page 16)

Yakou places the thermometer back on the desk and tells Yuma to go to sleep. Saying the fever will likely break by morning. To which Yuma states that he's in Yakou's bed and that he should return to the checkered sofa so his boss could sleep, attempting to try getting up. But Yakou puts a hand on his shoulder stopping him and denies this and says his desk is fine and that Yuma needed the bed more than him.

He also says that if Yuma had another bad dream that he would be there for him. Yuma smiles at Yakou quietly thanking him as he's tucked back into the duvet. Yakou pats it gently telling the trainee to close his eyes.

It isn't long before Yuma is back to being fast asleep. (and shinigami too)

Yakou monologues to himself for a bit groaning at how much trouble this small detective has been for him since he showed up. But then he switches his tune and places a hand to Yuma's head petting it softly. He says he's happy he's working hard for the sake of his memories but right now he needs to work on getting better. Saying it would help everyone in the agency if he wanted to help people.

He wishes him well continuing to pet his head for a bit longer to soothe him before going back to sleep himself turning the light off again.

(Page 17)

2 hours later, Yuma was stirring and whining in his sleep once again. Yakou groggily wakes up wiping his tired eyes upon hearing the soft noises the small trainee was uttering. And he was crying again. Can only be one thing: Another nightmare.

Instead of turning the light on to wake him up, Yakou moves his chair close to him sitting at his side. Not saying a single word. (cept in his head lol) He reaches his hand for Yuma's as it twitches and he takes hold of it gently.

Yakou eventually leans on the bed as he does so and falls asleep sitting up again. Yuma's groaning and and heavy breathing begin to settle down a little as he felt Yakou's presence close by.

Then he smiles as he closes his hand in his sleep holding Yakou's hand back, leaning a bit close to it. He felt safe again... <3

(Note: This poor thing has way too much trauma... ;w; I headcanon that he's prone to night terrors on occasion, but when he gets a fever, its even WORSE. Fevers do be messing with your head... x3)

(Page 18 Final)

The next morning when Yakou wakes up, he checks on Yuma. He still felt slightly warm but he looked much better. Seemed the worst was over and it would likely last just one more day.

When he's fully awake and at his desk, Desuhiko shows up asking Yakou if Yuma's okay and offered to wake him up. Yakou denies it saying Yuma needed one more day of rest, the fever may have been only slight now, but in the rain it would rise again easily.

Desuhiko agrees and declares that he's going to work hard today. Likely to make up for Yuma's absence. Yakou teases him and the two have a bit of a banter.

Yuma meanwhile is asleep peacefully. Still having a slight red tint to his cheeks, but he's able to sleep a lot easier now. His fever was slowly but surely breaking. (now in the yellow) Shinigami sleeps beside him, making sure she protects him from any nightmares in yakou's absence. (after all only SHE can give her master nightmares)

He wakes up fully recovered the following morning thanking everyone for taking such good care of him, and he makes sure to not push himself anymore. And continues searching for the city's ultimate secret while pacing himself to help others from now on.

THE END ❤️

(I practically made this into a sickfic in its own right... XD)

Thanks for reading!! Hope you enjoyed!! This is just a little artist credit page I made for Kazin and I c: Also art semi-face reveal?? xD Kinda?? Idk lol (we just two gals that like our sick comfort haha x3)

Anyway thank you again Kazin for doing this with me!! It was hard work but it was a blast and the final result came out amazing. Its surely a project I will cherish forever~ 💜🩷✨🌡️

A wholesome story to start 2024 on a good note.

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kuradex · 9 months ago

Note

I wanna know about your art style. How you draw like that??

i tried putting down considerations as well as a (very) general step by step of what i do; if there's anything more specific you want me to explain lmk i guess?

first off, general (self imposed) constraints / purpose of project -- this informs what i draw & how i draw it

i.e. "kuradex" is pretty different from my normal art (my 5 latest rough illustrations):

or my monster hunter charms:

or my pokemon tcg contest illustrations that im not allowed to show until june (😉):

although i've said its for merch purposes, ive started drawing these because i wanted to practice conveying "liveliness" and noticing key features / nuances of a given design, but i didn't want to spend a large amount of time on each one.

so what i came up with is

i want to draw things on-model in terms of proportions ( + take note of weight / tapering of shapes / etc )

no backgrounds & minimal "props"

experiment with / practice line/texture/color/flow/rhythm/etc

spend <1 hr on each pokemon on average (this is a bit more difficult for me to track, but for example, the cyndaquil line took me less than 42min to color, combined, and means at some point in time instead of focusing on cleaning up the art as much as i can, i stop after cleaning up most of it)

that said, the pose & the rhythm/flow of lines are key in conveying liveliness, and if i have a concept in mind i usually end up going with it, but i may go thru a few if i dont.

i consider pokemon origin / lore or a key point in its design, and if i'm particularly stuck, i try looking up pokemon card illustrations for inspiration. (i noticed the research i do is essentially a truncated version of how Atsushi Furusawa does research before doing an illustration.

(& even despite all this i do get stuck sometimes and don't exactly understand a pokemon and just opt for "as cute or cool as i can make it i guess?", but i think it's part of the process...?) (theoretically things that are A Shape should be really easy to draw but with what i want to practice in perspective i find them difficult...)

this is from my latest paid req but these are my first sketches of chesnaught -- i was thinking of how one of its inspirations is a warrior / tanker from RPGs, so i drew a pose where it's shielding its face.

i do another pass and take note of details.

in general i draw overlapping shapes and erase (it's a bit visible on one of the spikes)

because i opt for quickness i start coloring at this point -- i just use a colored "color burn" sketch layer for the "lineart" & colorpick official art & lay down messy flats & set the color layer to 60%

60% multiply layer for shadows. i tend to use both hard and soft brushes

for bigger projects i would use 2-3 shadow layers to create more "layered" shadows

here i use overlay layer (60%). this is just throwing colors at it and seeing what works and doesn't work. i personally prefer to throw red under the eye and a yellow or blue near the top of the head. this is mostly done with a soft brush

before this point, everything is under the rough lines, but now i start drawing/painting over it

i just color pick the colors that have been laid down from the previous steps and clean up / render textures (making the green on its arms look fuzzy) / fixing anything that i forgot or looks too off (i.e. the spike on its shoulder and the way the tail curves)

I could potentially keep cleaning this up, but this is where i usually stop 🫡

#not art #barely a tutorial?

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destielnoirbang · 5 days ago

Text

Code of Silence

By FriendofCarlotta | @friendofcarlotta Art by Rezal | @rezal-art

Coming to Ao3 on 12/13/2024

Rated E | 57,000 words | Graphic Descriptions of Violence

Hollywood, 1955: LAPD Officer Dean Winchester doesn’t mind throwing a punch or fudging the evidence if it means getting wife beaters and cold-blooded criminals behind bars. That approach doesn’t sit too well with his younger brother and colleague Sam, who’s been making enemies at the LAPD with his straight-laced, by-the-book philosophy. Between trying to keep up with the job and looking out for his brother, Dean doesn’t have much time for happiness. Not until he meets Castiel, a handsome escort who is everything Dean never knew he wanted. Unfortunately, Castiel is also caught up in a criminal conspiracy that reaches far into the LAPD itself. To expose the department’s corruption and save Castiel, Dean and Sam will have to put aside their differences — and reckon with a dark secret in their family’s past.

[Keep reading for a sneak preview!]

When he drew level, he chanced a glance over at the other man, who turned when he sensed that he’d become a subject of scrutiny.

Dean’s breath stopped in his throat. The man’s jaw was sharp as a word spoken in anger, his skin pale and clean-shaven. Long, graceful fingers played idly with one of the free Funtime Liquors matchbooks as he waited. His eyes promised mischief and mysteries. Dean wouldn’t have been surprised to learn the man had just stepped out of a movie screen.

Too late, he realized he was staring, and then only because the man’s plump lips had twitched slightly on one side.

Dean cleared his throat. “Merry Christmas,” he said.

“Merry Christmas to you too, officer,” the man returned.

Dean flinched, feeling caught out. Whoever the man was, he was clearly smart if plainclothes didn’t fool him. “That obvious?” he asked.

When Dean chanced another glance at the man, he was still looking back, humor glinting in his eyes. “It’s practically stamped on your forehead.”

Maybe Dean ought to have taken that for the dismissal it likely was, but the bit of humor in the man’s gaze felt almost akin to a smile. Most men wouldn’t smile at someone they wanted gone.

“Haven’t I seen you in a movie?” Dean tried.

The man dropped his head with a low, rough chuckle. Dean fought down a surge of embarrassment. A handsome man in a well-cut suit, five blocks from Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, where all the most glamorous Hollywood premieres took place? It wasn’t too outrageous a guess.

Dean was about to tell the man “never mind” when he caught Dean’s eyes again and said, “It’s unlikely. Unless you happened to pay very close attention to Youth Number 3 in the opening scene of It Came From Saturn's Rings.”

“You were in that?” Dean asked eagerly. This time, there was no fighting the heat on his face. He had a great weakness for science fiction movies, and he remembered seeing a screening of It Came From Saturn's Rings on opening night some three years back. Even working in Hollywood for as long as he had, he’d never stopped being a little starry-eyed about anybody who’d graced the silver screen.

His question got him an interesting reaction: the man’s head tipped to the side, his eyes narrowing, the better to study Dean. For the first time, he seemed to put some actual stock in their conversation. “You’ve seen it?”

“Yeah,” Dean confirmed, embarrassingly pleased to have found this patch of common ground between them. “It was good.”

It hadn’t been anything special, in truth, but the man was smiling in earnest now, one side of those plush lips curving up, and Dean thought he’d do just about anything to keep that smile going.

#destiel noir bang #dnb 2024 #fic promo #supernatural #spn #deancas #destiel

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river-mort · 3 months ago

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Hi I love your mohg/rhadan art very much it’s my favorite thing. I also love your Morgott art a LOT. I love your more serious style and it brings such joy to my heart to see your art of the twins and little things about their relationship dynamic, that’s one thing that kills me about the game is we never get to see mohg & Morgott interact.

If you have any silly/angsty headcanons for rhadan/mohg I’d love to hear them. Or ones for the twins too for that matter.

i wish i drew more serious art it's just too much silly ideas occupied my head. I hate being the clown all the time it's my curse - being funny.

And thank you to ask question about some stuff I hc or draw. Last time I received such question was....years ago I feel

I'm also glad to intoxicate people into radmohg its such a funny and sweet ship. It's so sweet that I can't even come with any angst for it. They both might have their own sad stories they deal with (sometimes together) but something rough between them? They two has their own worldview and plans but they never confront each other. If someone disagree they just..... Don't talk about it? So You're a blood cultists? Okay just leave my army alone ok? They make some agreements and keep living. In fact I think it's impossible to make Radahn feel strong emotions - hate, anger anything. He is a big man of accepting and compromise when it's about relationship (not only romantic). He might be emotional on the battlefield and it's the only place when he can be rough but when it's a calm life he is as calm as capibara. He is a simple positive man. He is such a Kronk coded character to me lol, even if you throw a table at you it will just break and he will be like you okay? You seem sad :( . On mohg side, even being quite a self centered man, he somehow respect Radahn's personal space and decisions. He doesn't force him to follow his lead or do as be say - unless it's something small like carrying him in the top of the tower. But with Radahn everything is new to mohg - before he would never care about anyone in any way. He doesn't care for others opinions, decisions and desires. With Radahn he is unbelievably tolerant and sweet. From other side it actually looks like pretending and Morgott was absolutely sure that Mohg is up to something. Even Mohg himself thought he was up to something - he just didn't know what exactly he would possibly need from this man. During first period mohg acted so fun while pretending he doesn't care for Radahn and just want to use him for SOMETHING while actually he was simply interested in him. That's all. He was like no I don't care that he doesn't answer my letter for second day already and u walk around this room nervously because I think about other matters and definitely not because of that one specific. I don't care for him. At all. And morgott is like okay but I didn't ask?

With mohg and morgott on the other hand there's pretty much angst. And I'm not even talking about their different worldview and religions - that's quite obvious. Saying about headcanons I like to think that mohg has soft spot for his brother - too soft I would say. Being ruthless and cunning, he could've already get the leyndell throne even without killing his brother (which he always say he CAN do but no. He can't), but instead he actively helps Morgott rule, in mimic veil au he even becomes his advisor but basically he's a nanny - he forces him to wake up, to go on meetings, to do his duties which morgott due his strong, I mean strong, depression doesn't want to do at all. He didn't ask mohg to help and sometimes he doesn't even like mohg being around but mohg still do it - which probably makes some of his followers question his decisions and his promises. But mohg can'thelp himself. When he knows morgott will have some meetings HE is nervous because he knows how hard it for his brother.

Talking about angst I also like the idea based on my personal experience - some people can't be your therapists. They shouldn't at all but if they will they can't help you on a professional level which is what happened between these two - mohg has NO idea how to help his brother who is drowning in self hate. He is here in the time of need but he can't offer anything special. And in morgott case some simple support words and presence is barely enough to survive through some of his states of mind. I think sometimes mohg is exhausted. Based on my experience when some person you talk to is ALWAYS depressed and self hating unstoppable you just.... Give up at some point. And I think sometimes mohg is quite close to this. Of course he won't but it feels like you hitting a wall with your head constantly. Pointless

But talking about positive hc I think instead of open conflict they just tend to make fun on each other. You know, all these cocky comments ir sarcasm with all this "at least I don't serve some his ass tree that doesn't even answer" And they start fighting. Just two stupid boys. I don't have siblings but I think lots of memes about siblings relationship would suit them

Also Morgott and Radahn will find a way to communicate. I think Radahn is actually respect morgott for his skills at fighting and for morgott Radahn is just.... An okay guy. He doesn't try to take the throne or destroy city. I think they would even become sports companions because I think that morgott likes doing sports. It's his only hobby

#radmohg #mohg the lord of blood #morgott the omen king #general radahn

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drill-teeth-art · 2 months ago

Text

A late night, slight retrospective on the tiny amount of Tumblr fame I've gathered that also might be slightly annoying for my audience to read so feel free to skip it if you want.

I started sharing Transformers fanart on here back in 2022, around October. I had been posting art on here for a while before actually but people really started following me and asking about my work and actually reblogging my stuff when I started posting Transformers fanart in 2022. I was in a really low place then, and I really welcomed the attention. My art was and still is something I take a lot of pride in. It's my own. There's quite a few years of my life where the fact I could still draw was the only thing stopping me from attempting suicide. It's something that has always meant a lot to me, so the attention on one of the only things I really liked about myself was nice. It was nice for a while.

But I've gotta say the slight Tumblr fame (and I do mean slight, I've only got around 3k followers which is a lot of people and more than I ever thought I'd have following me and more than a lot of folks will ever have but not like A Ton Of Fame) has wreaked havoc on my mental health. Which is already pretty rough as is. Suddenly I wasn't just some guy making Transformers fanart while desperately saving up to get out of my parents' house. Suddenly I was some people's FAVORITE Transformers artist. Suddenly I was a role model to people and I had people in my DMs clambering for my attention and I had an audience that would cheer or boo or go awkwardly silent at my every post depending on how much they liked it. And it was Not Good For Me. I had and still do have people all over my inbox, excited about how I drew fat and disabled and trans characters asking me over and over to draw some specific representation that I don't want to draw right away. I had and still have people begging me to draw their favorite Transformers character who I happen to not really care about and not want to draw at all. And I am painfully aware how often people take personal offense to my polite "no I'm not drawing that unless it's a commission" and my not answering their ask because I'm not in the mood. I've had people send in asks asking for a specific drawing and then follow up asks when I don't answer in a timely manner. And it's really uncomfortable! And it's almost more uncomfortable that it feels like a lot of people don't even notice that they're making me uncomfortable.

And I like learning how to draw bodies I've never drawn before. I like looking at a character who I think is meh and being like "well actually how can I make them interesting to me...". But it really felt and still feels like my art was getting away from me, like I was drawing more what people were asking me to make instead of what I wanted to because people would take it so badly when I'd say no. I was getting commissions though and I was saving up money to move out so I ignored that bad feeling of getting distanced from my own craft because I was trying so hard to save money and I was actually making some. And I still wanted the attention. Plenty of people were still kind to me despite everything.

Things got weirder for me after I released my Good Bi Gender comic. Which I do still recommend people read I think it's some of my best work. But that comic became a huge hit. And it made things really complicated for a while. I got anon hate. I was told to kill myself by strangers online more than once while I was already deeply suicidal. Something I thought I stated very clearly in the comic itself, that I didn't want strangers calling me "she" though I did and do let my close trusted people call me "she", was immediately ignored by my regular audience and people reading the comic. I got a lot of "you go girl!" kind of messages in response to my comic, and I didn't say anything at the time but it made me deeply uncomfortable. The comic was partly about how the she/her part of my identity is off limits to strangers. How I don't let just anyone she/her me because I work so hard to have the he/him aspect identity acknowledged at all. And it was like what Tumblr decided for me was to go against my wishes. Was to be like "we'll accept your identity for you!" when that's not what I wanted. I did NOT want to be she/her'd by thousands of strangers at the time. And though I'm grateful to have heard the understanding stories of other folks with nonbinary gender identities in the notes, it was deeply humiliating and invalidating to watch as others decided for me to accept the Girl part of my identity. The opening lines of the comic are explicitly a plea to the reader to listen and understand why they're not allowed to use she/her for me even though I'm opening up about the complexities of my identity.

And like. I don't care anymore if people online she/her me. At least I don't care right now that's why she/her is in my bio right now maybe I'll change that. But at the time it was awful. It was something I asked people not to do. And between that and the constant clambering for my attention from people I didn't want to talk to (because I was severely depressed and wasn't looking to make a ton of new friends) and the alienation from my own work I felt like shit. I felt like garbage. I still do. I hate my art sometimes. I really hate it. And for a while, I considered breaking my own fingers just so people would stop acting so entitled to my art and I would have a reason not to post. And honestly the only thing that stopped me was just trying to get by financially. Just watching my follower count and regular notes steadily trend upward so I could do more commissions so I could move out.

And doing things for the numbers, even for a relatively short time, only made things worse. It sounds a little silly even to me, but I get so stressed out when my posts flop, especially if it's art I was really proud of. I'm struggling to detangle my sense of worth in my art from the online numbers game. And I'm proud of the progress I'm making, but it does really suck and it's really hard. And I really wish I was still the same person back in early 2022 who could say "I don't care about the numbers!" and actually mean it because god I WISH I didn't care about the numbers now. Especially now. I dunno if it's me posting more art people don't wanna see or people leaving Tumblr or a shift in the culture of Tumblr but fewer and fewer people interact with my posts despite my follower count ticking up slowly but surely and it kind of bums me the fuck out. But. I am very proud of myself for still drawing the ocs that I want to draw even if they get less notes every time. And even if I'm slightly frustrated they get less notes every time.

I don't really have a neat bow to tie on my personal story right now. I'm still healing and sometimes I backslide and it's hard and it sucks. I don't want to sound ungrateful or to sound like I'm trying to shoo people off my blog because I'm not. I'm really grateful for the attention and interest and I'm not trying to turn people off my art blog. But it's been a rough few years on here. And don't be surprised if you see me take more and more breaks from this website. I do sincerely hope y'all will stick around and watch me continue to post whatever art and say kind things because I do appreciate that a lot. I'm trying really hard to mend my relationship with my own art. To not be so hard on myself. And for the record I don't want any asks telling me to take breaks when necessary or reminding me to draw for me. I appreciate the sentiment, but I already know all that and I personally don't find it helpful to be reminded of things I already know. But anyway. I hope that I will draw more and more of whatever I want to, even if that means I fade back into obscurity.

If you stuck around to read me reflect on the stresses and occasional humiliation of my small amount of online notoriety, then thank you. I appreciate that. And really I do like people looking at my art on here and sharing it and sending asks about my work. And the person I expect to be responsible for my mental health and how much social media is impacting it is Me first and foremost. But sometimes I think that it's important to remember there's a person behind your favorite art blog. And sometimes when you get swept up in parasocial attachment and hype, you kind of treat that person really fucking weirdly. And no that doesn't make you a bad person or a monster. But it does mean you have to learn to deal with it when someone who you might even idolize is like "back off me you're making me uncomfortable".

Anyway. I shouldn't be up as late as I am. A headache has been keeping me up all night. I'm gonna try to rest though. Goodnight.

#otto thoughts

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potato-lord-but-not · 4 months ago

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Hello, I have a question for you! How often do you draw daily/weekly and how long do your sketches, comics, and fully coloured pieces take? I see your work and sometimes I can’t even begin to fathom how fast you must be drawing … it takes me so long to draw one complete thing and then I basically have to take a break for a couple of days.

Also, I love your art by the way. You may or may not have single-handedly bumped Malevolent to the top of my watch (listen?) later list :)

I draw pretty much every day if I don’t have anything going on! finished pieces take anywhere from 4-6 hours I think? depends on the complexity, sometimes they take less but that’s if they’re small traditional ones or rough digital ones. sketches take anywhere from 5-10-20 depending on how complicated it is. and comics are harder to keep track of, especially the finished ones.

and my motivation to draw if very inconsistent, Friday I filled up 2 pages with doodles in my sketchbook, yesterday I drew a really tiny 3 panel comic, and today… uh well I finished coloring a drawing, did some coloring on an animation, sketched out 7 sticker designs, and filled up a page of doodles. and I’m still itching to draw more. I also had a huge ass coffee today but yk.

And also !!! do not feel bad for not being a fast artist !!! work at your own pace and don’t wear yourself out !! like I probably did today !! oops

#ask #ON THAT GRIND 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#I’m like an unusually fast artist I think.#oh that will wood commission tho took 12+ hours but can you blame me ??#also sometimes I draw multiple things on one canvas. and I do lineart and coloring at the same time.#so that greatly increases the time spent lmao #IM A FREAK

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thevoidscreams · 8 months ago

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A request, if I may. One of the Khan’s serfs has lost a bet. Now she must walk up to him, and ask him directly, “do Primarchs fuck?”

He offers to demonstrate.

Risky business I like it.

Pairing: Jaghatai khan x reader

Warnings: Marking, rough sex but like you get to be on top...for a little while, also he claims you at the end. Like he takes you as his consort/wife. He's not letting you go after all that okay

The long grass rippled in waves around me like an ocean. I was tending to the khan today. Cleaning his plate and bringing him any necessities. The snickering of the other female serfs carried on the breeze as I trudged towards the tent I knew the Khan would be in.

His bike was outside the entrance, a glorious piece of tech that he maintained with more love and care than some people gave their own children.

I turned back, nervous as hare to see the grinning faces of the people I thought were my friends. But after losing that bet, I wasn't so sure. They shooed me forward with waves of their hands, and I turned back to the tent, gulping.

The thick hide of an animal made up the outside of the tent. The preserved leather firm but smooth under my hands as I bowed my head at the entrance. "Lord Khan? I've come to perform my duties."

"Enter." The soft, deep voice came from within the dim interior. A shiver went up my spine, but in a good way. His voice was rich and was as handsome as the man himself. Pushing back the flap I stepped into the spacious tent. It had to be to fit the Khan.

His armor was laid aside and placed with care. The khan was in light clothes, just a pair of pants really. He was polishing his long curved sword. Thankfully the White Tiger Dao, and not the one in his pants, I mentally sighed as I bowed to him. "Where shall I begin, my lord?" I asked, being as polite as I could, maybe it would keep me alive once I asked. If I could ask. "Whichever piece." He huffed. Keeping his replies short and to the point. He wasn't very chatty.

I hefted a pauldron from the stack and began to brush away the other layer of dust first, meticulous in my work. As I did the ornate patterning beneath the grime became more obvious. It was a beautiful piece. Art in and of itself. I wondered as I worked what wearing a piece like this would feel like. The Khan raised his blade to inspect it in the light as I shifted to cleaning the metal, it drew my gaze up to him and reminded me of the bet. I felt my heart flutter and tried to focus on my actual work. My brain wandered back to last night as I drank merrily with my friends. "So you clean the Khan's armor tomorrow right?" One girl asked suggestively. There was a bout of giggling as I eyed them suspiciously. "Yeah, I feel quite honored to be given the privilege." "Well then maybe you'd care to indulge us?" I gave them all a look and sipped the sweet wine in my glass as they proposed a bet. Perhaps it was the drink, or maybe I'm just that stupid, but I didn't even think to ask what the losing terms were until I was seven losses deep into a game of dice when they told me. I tried to fight them on it, but they just laughed and told me it'd be fine.

I gave my word though, when I took the bet, even if I wouldn't have if I'd known. The khan settled his blade into its sheath and I watched him pick up a piece of armor himself and begin to clean it. He must have noticed my glance or something in my posture as he set his rag aside and settled his firm gaze on me. My body looked up, my thumb nearly getting sliced open on the razor-like crest of his pauldron as I flinched. "You wish to say something." The sound of his voice seemed to echo around the tent. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

Bolting from the tent would probably have been smarter. But I swallowed my anxiety and let go of the breath I'd involuntarily begun to hold when he looked at me with his full undivided attention.

"I uh, yeah." I barely managed to whisper.

"Then speak." I expected there to be a tone of annoyance in his voice, or perhaps a cold disinterest, but instead he seemed to simply be giving me the chance to say something. His gaze went back to his armor and simply existing seemed to get easier.

'Welp, here goes.. everything' I thought. "Well, um..." I gathered all my courage and just blurted it out. "Do primarchs have sex?" I felt like an idiot, no scratch that, I WAS an idiot. No one sane asks something like that, even on a bet. "Like can you?" Stop talking mouth! Stop digging this hole. My brain all but pleaded.

The Khan went very still, almost as if he was a statue and not a man. I was preparing to take a sword or fist to the chest, but instead he let out a soft shaking breath. It was a moment before I realized he was laughing. Honest to goodness laughing. "Is that why you've been twitching since you first came into this tent?" His chuckling steadily evened out, and fuck me sideways if it wasn't a sound to lift the soul, I don't know what is. It could have been music for all the emotions it stirred in me. "Well, if my cock has given your mind that much ill ease, perhaps I could quiet it for you." He leaned in and I felt the warmth of his skin even though he hadn't touched me. "And give you a demonstration." I felt like my brain crashed, as if it'd been thrown from a speeding jet bike and straight into a wall of bricks. But again my mouth seemed to find the concept of not consulting my brain appealing once more. Then again how could it? Seeing as my mind had left the building at some point. "Yeah, sounds great." He chuckled again and I could see the mirth dancing deep within his eyes. "Good. Your form is pleasing to me. I likely would have sought after you to bed you regardless." The Khan stood and moved past me to the mouth of the tent. The blatant honesty was nice but hell. Did he actually mean that? "Disrobe, I will return." He vanished and my body immediately began to obey. Oh fuck, what was I even doing? Thinking of bedding a primarch, a son of the emperor? I mean, his body was stellar, the best around, but was I going to do this. You know what. Fuck it. I was going to go back to the snickering nitwits with a story they were never going to forget.

I, was going to fuck Jaghatai Khan. Come hell or high water, because he was willing. The only problem is I had to find out if I was able.

My shirt slid over my head and onto the ground followed by my boots and my pants. Jaghatai Came back not a minute after I was done undressing and he tied the tent's flaps shut before turning to face me. He has a bedroll under his arm and it suddenly became very real what I had gotten myself into as he knelt in front of me, setting the bed roll aside and putting a colossal hand on my waist. He nodded as if confirming something with himself and leaned his face down to kiss my chest.

My hand found its way to his shoulder to balance myself. He kissed and massaged my hips, it was relaxing, which surprised me given my previous nerves. Kissing over one breast he took my nipple into his mouth, rolling it with his tongue, the warmth and sudden pleasure making me gasp. He did that with both of them, lavishing both with attention.

When the khan pulled away I found I was breathing hard and his arm slipped around my back to steady me. My thighs were wet enough that I could feel it. And the Khan seemed to be able to tell. His fingers undid the ties holding his pants and they slipped down his body and to the floor. His cock was already hard, and just from that little interaction. "Shall we proceed?" His hands came back to me as he asked.

I smiled, nodded. "Yes, I would like that." I watched him untie the bundle and unroll it. I wasn't sure what to anticipate, but it wasn't him immediately laying down and gesturing to his face. "Sit." "Sit?" "Yes. Come sit." My legs moved and my body was eager to see where this would go. I stood over his head and knelt, he guided me down, my front facing the rest of my body. I got a nice view of his cock as hovered over his face. "Okay, now what?" He held my hips tightly. "You sit." He pulled me down so my weight was resting on his face. I was going to object but his tongue was licking me clean as soon as his lips touched my lower lips. So all I really managed was a strangled gasp and a long breathy moan.

I had to stabilize myself on his abs. His cock twitched, a bead of precum leaking from it like a single sticky tear. I figured it'd be rude not to return the favor. I reached for his thick cock, my fingers grazing the shaft and was rewarded with a sharp nip to my inner thigh. "Hey!" I squeaked, confused and shocked. "Behave yourself. You may have some later." He growled and returned his mouth to actively exploring as deep as his tongue would allow as his fingers traced lazy circles around my clit. My walls clenched around his tongue. It seemed to embolden him and he applied more force. I slid forward and was so close to his cock I could have licked it. The single bead of sticky goodness was growing bigger and it began to leak down. I stuck out my tongue hoping to catch the droplet, as inconspicuous as was possible. I wasn't as clever as I thought, apparently. "I thought I told you to behave." Jaghatai's voice growled behind me.

"I am." "Are you now? Because it seems like you're being very impatient." I whined as I watched the droplet fall to his abs. "I just wanted a taste-" His tongue brushed over my clit and I was thoroughly distracted. His fingers pushed at my slick entrance and pushed in. The movement of his tongue and fingers created a dichotomy in my body of both burning pain from the stretch and pleasure from his tongue. I grasped at his hips and breathed through it. I wasn't going to take his cock without prep, that was for sure. It worked though and the pain turned to pleasure in short order. It was hard to sit still in the face of it. The Khan seemed to come to a conclusion about something and pulled his fingers away. Leaving my pussy sadly empty. He urged me forward and sat up. "Turn." He instructed and I obeyed again.

Now face to face with the handsome man, and sitting in his lap.

He kissed me, his lips imparting my own flavor onto mine. His tongue brushed my bottom lip and I allowed him to enter. Our tongues danced together as his cock brushed over my sex. Getting himself nice and wet. "Are you comfortable with continuing?" I was surprised by the question, but it made me feel warm in my chest. "I am." I told him with certainty. The tip of his cock pushed in, I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to take his whole length today. But fuck if I wasn't going to try. The burn was hard to breathe through, but when he stopped and let me adjust I was pleased to find it subsiding quickly enough. His hand stroked up and down my back, soothing me as he sank in as much of his manhood as he could.

"You are very tight." He noted and it seemed more a rhetorical statement to himself than one meant for me. But I nodded against his chest.

As soon as he stopped fully I could feel him in my stomach. Truly he was huge. I kissed his cheek, initiating the affection for once.

That took him by surprise and I wasn't sure why. Had I fucked up? If so he didn't look as if he wanted me to stop. I kissed his cheek again and he sighed. It sounded content and returned the gesture. It was nice. His hips gave a shallow thrust, determining my readiness. I moaned, low and with need. "I will take that to mean you are ready?" "Take it however you want, just please,do that again." He did, rolling his hips up into mine as he held me against his chest, his face pressed into my hair. My mouth hung open, moans pouring from me like water, I didn't even consider that others might hear me. It was heavenly, feeling his hips roll into mine. His thick manhood stretched me beyond what I had ever anticipated. And man was it ever a trip, knowing I was bedding a primarch. I shut my eyes and watched as light danced behind them, growing fuzzy from all the pleasure. His hips picked up their pace, one hand hugging me to him while the other held my hip. I let him set the tempo and was not let down. I came hard, and none too quietly, crying his name. His first name. He squeezed my hip and gasped. Rolling us both, his body hovering over mine as he fucked me harder and faster. scrambling my insides and my brains all in one go. I felt his lips meet mine and I fell into the kiss with a thirst I'd not felt for anything else before. It was fair to call it rutting as he approached his climax. Our lips still sealed, it was not gentle and he gave a bone deep groan as he finally spilled into me. Holding me tightly to him. He broke the kiss, only to place a line of them along my cheek and jaw. It was oddly affectionate. But I wasn't going to complain.

We laid there panting, though he was clearly not winded, just satisfied. I was tired. My body was beginning to feel the strain. "Are you alright?" I gave him a thumbs up and a weak. "yeah~" His thumb brushed over my cheek then down my neck. He leaned down to suck a mark between my shoulder and neck. It would be noticeable to anyone who saw what happened. Satisfied with his work he laid on his side by me. "Was that demonstration sufficient enough?" "Plenty." "That is good. I would take you again when you are ready.If not tonight then at a time of your choosing." "Again?" "Yes. Again." "Am I allowed to do this with you again?" His mouth turned up in a rare genuine smile of warmth. "Yes. Shall I be needing to provide a demonstration?"

#warhammer 40k #warhammer #primarch x reader #40k #my writing #primarchs #warhammer 40k x reader #jaghatai khan #jaghatai khan x reader #mating press march

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zarla-s · 1 year ago

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Man it's been a long time since I've done an ask cluster! Let's see if I can get some down...

He's an extremely fun character to write for and play with! So in that sense I'm fond of him, haha. He's such a huge disaster of a person, there's always something fun to do with him. Well "fun" in a relative sense.

I don't have anything to forgive him for, he didn't hurt me. |D He hurt the brothers!

I do have an idea for a cute feature inspired by Six-Eared Macaque! I should really sit down and do that already... and finish the one I half started but never finished...

I don't think my opinion on any of them changed! I love them all, haha. Which ones I drew comics about just depends on which ones I get ideas for really. Sometimes I get Alphys ideas and sometimes I get Goatparents ideas! Inspiration is fickle!

I don't have any solid plans or anything. :B Just gonna keep chugging along with silly comics and art! Work on Defrag and such. I'd like to finish a Ladyverse comic I've had lying around forever, and I had vague plans for doing a doujin for them too I could work on... and also seeing if I could format Handplates into a book format... I've always got a bunch of projects, haha.

It works on that level! It wasn't intentional though. |D

I do enjoy speculation! I don't really have much of my own though, I didn't predict anything in chapter 2 so now I'm assuming I can't predict anything in the future chapters either, haha.

Emesis Blue is great! Some really beautiful visuals in there, very striking! Love the mood of it too and a lot of the surreal imagery. I think it helped spur me back into TF2 again, haha. Medic and Scout's relationship was so cute.

I have thought about this! It has its share of challenges though... I outlined them more in this post. A pdf would be more doable though... could even include some extra stuff as well! Hmm...

I can see that! He'd probably spend as much time out in the rain as he could just doing whatever to stay outside.

It was pretty much always going to end like that. I always wanted it to end on a hopeful note! Which might seem weird with how dark it is at the beginning. I DID for a brief period at the very beginning of Handplates think about stopping with the Pacifist run, but that was only because I thought going where I wanted to go would take too long and already the project seemed so dauntingly huge at the time, haha. But it was always going to end in a positive way!

Gaster talks about what he originally intended to create here, and he explains a bit about the physical experiments he runs on the brothers here. They aren't really a solution in and of themselves so much as tools to try and find a way to break the barrier. Really though, Gaster got stuck in the sunk-cost fallacy lol.

I don't really have opinions about what canon Gaster would be like. |D Handplates Gaster is his own thing really. Canon Gaster, who knows! Deltarune Gaster, who knows! I will say I hope Gaster stays a mystery in Deltarune and never actually shows up but I think the odds of that are really low at this point.

I thought about doing a script along those lines! I did a few rough drafts of one, but it never really went anywhere... it'd end up dead-ending or kind of meandering off. I might see if I can get an actual script down for a side-comic or something in the future... it might be better suited for a fic.

I was just thinking about this lately! I was picturing Gaster totally forgetting about that until he sees Papyrus squinting and is like OH GOD YOUR EYES THAT'S RIGHT D: and goes to get him looked at lol.

I couldn't come up with a good idea for Flowey which is a shame, I do like him, haha. If one comes to me though I might make a little side comic about it!

Gaster's LV is complicated... his stats in-game are ludicrous if I recall correctly. Did he carry the damage from his murders into the void, even if those murders weren't his in the new timeline? Deep thoughts.

He fed them anything he could find, haha. Which is why sometimes they just ended up with chocolate bars (which he intended as dinner for himself). He probably fed them more often than he fed himself lol. He did feed them fairly regularly though.

Not about skeletons, probably. |D

Man I know I had an explanation for this but it was so long ago... it's hard for me to remember. It could be that the Riverperson is just weird and has weird insight into elements of things, had a prophetic dream... I don't know! It bugs me now that I can't remember this, haha.

#undertale #handplates #asks and answers

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bluebunnysart · 4 months ago

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Fanart of my own fanfiction (Chimera Teto x Android Miku)

Good news! When I woke up and looked at my art again today, I liked it, so here's the uncolored version! I trust you tumblr people, so here you go! You may view. This technically means I've drawn UTAU Teto (here) and SynthV Teto, but I really want to color this and take my time doing so, so here are the lines before it turns into something else hahaha 😂😂😂 Read More for the stuff I wanted to write last night but was too tired to (also the art time lapse)

I showed like two WIPs of different ideas on Twitter but none of them were this LOL (just goes to show how much I wanna draw and see of these two specifically) but the reason I decided to go with this is 'cuz that fanfic I wrote in like one day really got me excited and it made me really want to draw them as I was imagining more stuff about them. Here I'll talk about what I had in mind

I love chimera Teto, especially her majestic wings, and what I drew here is basically inspired by that! Teto's basically the only "living, sentient" thing around Miku so far (I dunno how to approach adding more creatures just yet), which makes Miku extra interested in her. But basically Miku likes Teto's wings and tail too and is very fascinated by them.

I had an idea where Miku is just holding or playing with Teto's tail out of nowhere and complimenting the heck out of her, and that was condensed into this piece. It was too crowded on Miku's side to have Teto's tail there as well, but the reason Teto's embarrassed (tsundere is nice, aint it xD) is 'cuz Miku is indeed praising the heck out of her. Calling her cute and saying how cool her wings are and whatnot.

The dialogue kinda goes like, "Your wings are so cool! And I really like how expressive your tail is! I wonder what I would do with a tail. It's so cute! Actually, now that I think about it, all of you is really cute!!" (Teto, embarrassed: "Stop talking now.") wwww

Miku does have a kinda tail actually! It's the chain on top of her skirt. As an android, I was thinking it works as sort of a battery plug or USB or something. I can show off more of that later (since it's really small here lol) but she can use it to receive electricity and recharge herself, I guess~. (Note to self: make it bigger?)

I haven't shown off much of my art style, but most (normal) characters usually don't have pupils. (See: this Teto, who's a living breathing creature.) As a result, I decided to give Miku pupils (kinda robot-like) to make her seem like more of a robot. She also wears the thing (headphones) over her ears, of course, which I can also use to make her seem more robot-like. There's no green flashing of code in her eyes right now but I might draw that sometime too, after my loads of other ideas...

Teto's wings aren't fragile. They're probably firm, hard, and could even be scaly/rough (up to my own whims or the reader's own preference). Her letting Miku touch her (wings) is probably a huge display of trust/confidence. Teto's wings are strong enough to carry her far distances and even allow her to fly in bad weather, I think. It's up to Teto herself how much energy/desire she has to do things like that though.

This is mentioned in the fic too, but Teto probably folds her wings a lot so they don't get in the way. She's kinda like a bird. I think her silhouette against the sun or moon, with full wingspan, is probably majestic (I'm imagining the Batman symbol for some reason lol). I know some people color Teto's wings as purple, but I specified black in my fic to match her tail. ^^

In order for her wings to breathe, there are probably holes in the back of her outfit to accommodate them, but they're only big enough for the wings (ellipses/ovals probably): she either tears/cuts holes into the shirts she wears for her wings or they already fit her wings so there's no problem. I wonder if Teto made her UTAU outfit herself in this setting. xD (A girl has to pass the time SOMEHOW plus she's probably at least a little bit handy when it comes to clothes and stuff (survival).)

If, while I'm coloring, I need to make adjustments to the seating and lineart and all that, I will, but I figured I'd show off what made me stay up 'til 5 AM last night and then get embarrassed to post 'cuz I thought I wasn't finished yet. I woke up and I liked it, so I'm just gonna put it in this here blog. c:

I don't know how to color, so coloring will be a trip 😂

#my art #vocaloid #utau #negidrill #mikuteto #tetomiku #kasane teto #hatsune miku #uncolored #lineart #chimera #android #song fanart #end of the world au

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fishnapple · 4 months ago

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Hello love 💕

Your blog literally introduced me to lithomancy and I've been interested in trying since. I practice divination myself and I really resonated with the type of reading you do,

I was wondering how you learned/practiced it and what resources you used to study

Thank you in advance and have a blessed day 💕 💕

Hi, I'm so happy that you're interested in this art, it's not very well-known like the other types of divination. I will highlight some of the essential points of Lithomancy here, hope that it can help you in some way 🌼

HOW DID I START?

Thanks to the power of friendships and dreams lol.

I've had an on and off relationship with Lithomancy for the past 10 years. I was first introduced to this art by a friend. I would read Tarot for her and she would read crystal for me. At that time, I tried to dabble in it a little but didn't connect well with it. Likely due to my lack of knowledge and the right timing.

Then, last year, the year of my Saturn return, I had a dream about going to a shop selling handmade crafts and crystals with my nephew (you could say that he was the embodiment of my inner child in the dream). Not long after that, another friend of mine brought me to an actual crystal shop where I bought my first set of crystals and began to seriously study and practice Lithomancy.

The content is rather long so I put in a "keep reading" to shorten to post. Please click "keep reading" to continue below.

TOOL & MATERIALS:

1. The book:

The only learning resource I had was from the book Lithomancy: the psychic art of reading stones by Gary L. Wimmer and from watching my friend do the readings. The book was a good starter, the author explains several key concepts that are essential for reading stones.

2. The stones:

In the past, I used sea shells, pebbles and even clay to substitute for the crystals. The things I used were beautiful, but it didn't feel right, some were too heavy while others too light. Seeing them together raised no emotion or insight in me.

Only until last year, when I went into a crystal shop for the first time and bought a set of crystals, did I feel a connection to the stones. I chose the crystals purely by hunches with near zero knowledge about the meaning of each crystal. It was like a blind casting, you only saw the candidates but you didn't know anything about them and you didn't see their performance beforehand. You just picked based on their looks lol.

Not to say that you have to use crystals to read, it might depend on each person's aesthetic, way of pattern recognising and interpreting. For me, colourful crystals help me see the connection, the interaction better, you just need to find whatever work for you. Heck, I even made a random chart generator on Excel to read at some point.

There's no fixed number for the stones nor rules for choosing which stone for what. But in general, you would want to choose something with the size that can fit a dozen nicely in one palm of your hand, and with distinct shapes. Avoid rough crystal because they can fragmented easily after numerous tossing.

3. The surface:

Any surface smooth and even enough to allow the stones to fall on without excessive tumbling, the background colour should allow you to see the stones clearly and doesn't give your eyes fatigue after staring at for too long.

In the book, the circle was form by a strip of leather, lace or some similar material with a knot tying the two ends together. I was lazy so I just drew the circle on the fabric lol.

THE READING:

Unlike some other divination methods, which have certain rules of interpretation and meaning that you should follow. Lithomancy is quite free-form. There's lots of rooms for improvisation and creativity.

The method I use for reading is based loosely on the guide in the book with lots of personal modifications. I read the stones like how I read an astrological chart with each stone represents a planet plus other meanings (10 stones for Sun ~ Pluto, 2 for South and North node, 1 for Inner child, 1 for Fear, 1 for Life). The circle is divided into 12 sections, representing 12 houses.

Another time, I use a different set and assign a completely different set of meanings to read for specific topics. You can tailor the stones, the layout to your need freely, as long as you can connect with them on an intuitive level.

In short, it's all about how you assign the meaning to each stone and read the interaction, the relationship between them. Very much like watching a play, a movie where characters interact with each other in different scenes and you get the messages through them.

Well, that's the general idea of crystal reading, if you have more questions or any other insights, feel free to share, I'd love to chat. 💓🐋

#ask #crystal reading #lithomancy #divination #spirituality #astrology #psychic reading #tarotblr #witchblr #ask me questions

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asp1diske-art · 7 months ago

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Your technical skill with lineart and shading is amazing in itself, but it's your ability to convey emotion and atmosphere in your work that is trademark to me :) its incredible how you can show through gesture and body language just what these masked, expressionless characters are feeling, and how the environment itself conveys that. Your lurien comics, especially the one that ends in something along the lines of "I return to the kingdom you abandoned" are I think the spark that made Lurien go from Some Guy to Deeply Interesting for me, and your use of color pop and shaky line contributed so much to the feeling in those comics. You are one of the artists whose skill at evoking emotions I aspire to <3

Oh wow, I've been reading and re-reading this for the last 20 minutes this is amazing.

So, emotions!

If there is one thing I'm proud to have accomplished during my time in Hollow Knight, it's the skill of expressing tone. Because here's the thing, facial expressions are just one of the many components of tone. (I even wrote about this in another ask some time ago.) Colors, gestures, camera angle, lighting, paneling, lines and narration - all of these come together to convey the mood of the scene.

Check out these wips from the Watcher and the Watched comic, for example.

You can see that color played a huge role in setting the atmosphere in the comic. It shows that this comic is taking place in the Watcher's Spire, but it also gives a dark, subdued feeling that wouldn't come from idk, a yellow background. The backlight emphasizes the ominous tone of the last page. As does Lurien's pose - coupled with the butler looking up and Lurien looking down, it makes it look like Lurien is looming over his butler (and the reader). All this builds up to deliver Lurien's lines with maximum impact.

So yeah, a lot goes into conveying tone in comics, and I'm very happy to hear that it was recieved well!!

The Lurien, Dreamer comic. It's almost 2 years old now but it's still one of the favorite comics I drew about him. Together with the City of Tears comic, it's the epitome of my interpretation of Lurien. My characterization of Lurien's relationship with the Pale King was quite different from the usual fanon at the time (I don't know how it is now, I haven't gone into the tags in years haha) and I wasn't really sure how people would take it. So I'm glad to hear that it got you interested in Lurien!

It's the one that took the longest too lol. Usually I draw comics in a single setting, but that one took 3 days. Besides Two Ghosts (which was an 18 chapter+@ comic that was over 50p and took about 2 months), no other comic has broken this record. I put in a lot of care into it, and it still holds a special place in my heart.

Honestly half the reason I use messy, sketchy lines is that I suck at drawing clean lines lmao. But I like to think that I've made the best of it and utilized it as an art style. In that comic especially, because the whole thing takes place in the dream realm and I wanted to give a rough, unreal feel to it.

I'd show breakdowns of this one too but the file is so big it keeps crashing lol. (Pro tip - draw your comic pages in separate files. Don't be like me and draw 300dpi 10p comics with 30 layers in each page in a single canvas. It will crash and you will be sad.) But drawing the White Palace was a interesting challenge because I usually draw in highly saturated colors whereas the Palace is, well, white. So I had to work out a way to color this without making everything looking grey, while also making it recognizable as the palace. iirc I used a lot of overlay & burn & dodge layers along with a few difference & subtract layers to give the white a slight yellow tint to stand out from the dark blue. (I'm pretty sure they're the culprits crashing the file.)

Sorry this got long, I really took this as an invitation to ramble about my art hkfsldjkflj

Thank you for all the compliments! It's an honor to hear that my art could be someone's aspiration, and I'm very happy that all my Lurien art got someone else into Lurien. I hope you have a nice day :D

#asks #my art #long post

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the-s1lly-corner · 11 months ago

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If you write for Lj(creepypasta) can I get him with a clown reader(male or gn) you can choose if you want it to be platonic or romantic!

⭐️🎪—-thank you—-🎪⭐️

laughing jack x clown!reader !!

written as either! can be read as platonic or romantic, totally up to the reader! definitely going to incorporate my silly "clown physics" hcs into this because lj deserves to be silly hopping back onto requests, i got some art done (drew some of my bbgs evil laughs) ehehehe

honestly more than anything hes so happy that he has someone whos able to handle his antics! its not so much as hes maliciously trying to hurt you, but he can get a little too rough sometimes.... also add in the fact that the reason hes a kriller clown is because of isaac..... yeah.... hes a little..... you know? but the fact youre some funky creature too; and a CLOWN at that! hes thrilled

you guys both practice tricks and stunts together, which sometimes devolves into you guys trying to outdo the other, since i can easily see laughing jack being on the competitive side, and even more so since youre a clown

he sees it at a threat/hj

loves wrapping his long noodle arms around you, giving oyu a biiiiiiiiiig hug!

stores some of your belongings in his hair (which more or less works like a void of sorts LMAO) because hes a little mischievous like that

honestly if youre a clown in terms of like, clown creature things are going to be VERY chaotic since thats just. how you guys are, and laughing jack doesnt feel the need to hold back around you since youre not quite as easy to kill

though, if youre just a human dressed up as a clown hes going to be a little disappointed oh oh but its not your fault... he just thought he found someone like him...!

if youre just a normal person wearing clown make up hes asks to do your makeup, or at the very least ask if you can try out certain looks; i think the makeup on laughing jacks face is like. just his face, so he cant change it. kind of lives vicariously through you with the experiementation

gets really good at doing your makeup, though! starts out a little sloppy and messy, and you may or may not get a few nics on your face due to his long claws

^he gives you candy as a form of apology for any little accidents

generally you guys are really goofy and silly C:

#creepypasta x you #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta imagine #creepypasta headcanons #laughing jack x you #laughing jack x reader #laughing jack headcanons #laughing jack imagine

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crystallizsch · 6 months ago

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hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)

(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)

https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk

^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?

Was I a monster from the start?

How did I end up with this frozen heart?

Bringing destruction to the stage

Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)

-diodellet

(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)

very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.

evil ice queen vibes :3

also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.

also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)

(read more below because it got SO long)

AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —

— with this entire post

AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA

i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀

but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over

also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨

(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)

hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪

⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️

i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)

anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.

but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.

so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.

since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.

uh anyways onto the elsa parts

Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage

THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material

and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)

(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)

anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.

and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.

ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)

there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.

also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3

yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.

the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.

there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)

the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.

so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.

so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.

but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.

then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.

(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)

another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha

lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music

the songs are such a vibe

her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖

#AHH THIS IS /SO/ LONG #THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IM GIVEN THE CHANCE TO RAMBLE #but thank you for the ask dio!! 🤧🤧#it makes me so happy to hear you like yuusha 😭💕💕#this also took a bit because i needed to like #actually turn all these thoughts into actual coherent words #and for them to actually. make sense together.#idk im proofreading this myself during the gamer hours of midnight hfdjslkf #i sure /hope/ they do make sense for the most part because this is pure massive brain vomit #[—✦ chatting #-✧ my art #-✧ oc rambles #(💜) yuusha #pretwst💜#-✦—]#at this point too i’m sticking to the twst elsa concept #it just felt weird admitting it bc i have a history with this movie and its fandom in general #kids would ask you “whos your favorite disney princess it cant be elsa” bc everyone would pick her so i'd have to pick another </3 #she was too famous and therefore too obvious and basic #not to mention “let it go” was EVERYWHERE and it did become annoying at one point 😭#the fandom around frozen back then was v questionable too ngl and i was also in that hole for a bit so it's just /ack/#but rewatching the movie i realize how elsa kinda speaks to me hgjkdsjfaljsd #i could lowkey highkey rant more about her but anyways #imma be an elsa defender and apologist for as long as i am able

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