#I dunno how I feel about this to be honest!!

[deerlysacred]

🍎 i feel so high school every time i look at you . . . { dean winchester x fem!reader }

𐂂 𝄢 { you always felt like you missed out on lots of silly, social & romantic things in your teenage years because you were very shut-down and depressed back then. dean shows you that there's still time to make up for it. }

𖣂 𝄢 established relationship & fluff

♫ 𝄢 concept song : so high school - taylor swift

Clink.

. . .

Clink!

The soft clatter of pebbles against your bedroom window barely registered at first. You were curled up under a mountain of blankets, comfortably burrowed in your own little nest, flipping through a book with a cup of tea precariously (?) balanced on your stomach. You told yourself it was probably just the wind. Or a tree branch. Or, you know, the natural creaks and groans of a house that is absolutely not haunted (you hoped so).

Then— another clink.

And another.

You sighed, your eyebrows knitting together.

Okay. Either a ghost just decided to throw hands, or some poor bird tragically lost its sense of direction.

You went out of bed, padding over to the window as you pulled the curtains away. Your eyes widened against the unexpected scene.

Dean Winchester. Standing in your backyard, throwing rocks at your window.

The sight alone was almost too much for your brain to process. He was grinning up at you like some teenage heartthrob straight out of an '80s rom-com, one hand tucked into the pocket of his leather jacket while the other —oh great— prepared to lob another pebble.

"Dean?" you whisper-yelled, opening your window. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What's it look like, sweetheart?" he whisper-yelled right back, looking too proud of himself. "I'm sneakin' my girl out for a date. Proper teenage style. Now c'mon, before your strict old folks catch me."

You just stared at him, struggling to process several things at once. One, he is standing in your yard throwing pebbles at your window like a delinquent in a coming of age TV show. Two, he just called you his girl, which— okay, that probably should've sound normal to you since you're his girlfriend indeed. For a while now, in fact. But your brain still short-circuited a little, getting flustered even after all this time.

"…Dean, I don't have strict old folks."

He waved a dismissive hand. "I dunno, Y/N. Your grandma did glare at me once. Feels like I'm riskin' life and limb here."

You bit back a laugh. "You do realize I could just use the door, right?"

Dean scoffed, his breath getting visible with the fog because of the chilly air of the evening. "Oh, sure, and miss out on the whole forbidden romance, Romeo-and-Juliet, sneakin'-through-the-night scene? Where's your sense of drama, sweetheart? Hm? Where's your passion?" He gestured grandly towards the window and flexed his muscles briefly. "Now, c'mon. Climb out or somethin'. I'll catch ya."

You folded your arms, shaking your head as you chuckled. "You will not catch me!"

Dean put a hand over his heart, looking scandalized. "Excuse me? I am a gentleman. I would absolutely catch you."

"Dean, be honest. Do you want to risk finishing this date night before it even began after you broke your arm because you got too full of yourself?"

He squinted, like he was actually considering the question. "…Okay, fair point. Plan B— the ladder in the garage. We improvise."

You shook your head again, a helpless smile breaking through. You knew why he was doing this. He probably couldn't stop thinking about what you told him last night— how you felt like you missed out on things as a teenager. How you overthink about the past missed opportunities sometimes, okay… Maybe more than sometimes. And here he was now. And because that he was Dean, instead of just saying something sweet or reassuring and get over with it (not like he was very good with words too), he was throwing pebbles at your window like a teenage rebel, giving you the moment you never got to have.

And damn it if that didn't make you fall for him even more.

"Give me a minute." you said, already reaching for your coat.

Dean grinned, all boyish mischief and dimples, retrieving the slightly rusted ladder from the garage, setting it against the house. "That's my girl, come."

You sighed and closed the window before carefully making your way back down. When you were only a couple of steps from the bottom, Dean suddenly spread his arms wide, wiggling his fingers.

"Alright, sweetheart— leap of faith. I got you."

You eyed him warily. "Dean…"

"Oh, come on. Where's your sense of adventure? Woulda made such a cute movie moment."

You rolled your eyes but decided to humor him. With a deep breath, you let go of the ladder and jumped.

Dean, to his credit, did catch you. Mostly.

He stumbled back a step, arms full of you, before he managed to steady them both, laughing. "See? Told ya I'd—oof—catch you."

You clung to him, half-giggling, half-mortified. "That was not smooth."

"Eh, I give it a solid eight outta ten," Dean said, setting you on your feet. He brushed an imaginary leaf off your shoulder, voice dipping low and playful. "Y'know, if this was some cheesy teen drama, this'd be the part where we kiss real slow, right before your dad comes out with a shotgun."

You snorted, tilting your head. "Too bad my dad's not around to threaten you."

Just as the two of you turned towards the Impala, movement from across the street caught your eye.

Mr. Jenkins.

Mr. Jenkins was your eighty-something-year-old neighbor who sits on his porch every night sipping his coffee, watching the world go by. And right now, he was watching you and Dean with the exact expression of a man who has seen some things in his time but has never seen this.

Dean followed your gaze and gave Mr. Jenkins a slow, respectful nod.

Mr. Jenkins narrowed his eyes. Took a sip of coffee. Kept staring.

Dean turned back to you, whispering. "Alright, I think I've been made. Your grandpa's gonna call the cops, isn't he?"

"He's not my grandpa."

"You sure? He's got that 'disapproving man of the house' energy goin' on."

You sighed. "Just get in the car before he starts asking questions."

Dean tugged open the Impala's door with a dramatic flourish, waving you in like he's some kind of old-school gentleman. "After you, milady."

"Dean…?" you said slowly, side-eyeing him.

"Mm?" He looked perfectly innocent. Too innocent.

"You're taking me to a makeout spot?"

Dean smirked. "Technically, I'm takin’ you to a scenic overlook with a great view of the stars." A beat. "But, yeah, also a makeout spot."

You groaned, slumping against the seat. "I hate everything."

"Nahhh, you love it."

…You kind of did love it. But he didn't need to know that.

When he finally pulled up to the clearing, the view was stunning. An open sky stretching for miles, stars shining bright against the darkness, the town lights twinkling far below. Dean shut off the engine and hopped out, you hugged your coat and went out to clim up on the hood of Baby to sit. When Dean came back, he was holding— a picnic basket?

Your brows shot up. "Oh my God, you packed snacks?"

Dean looked vaguely offended. "Sweetheart, I always pack snacks."

You laughed as he set the basket down on the hood of the Impala and sat next to you. He pulled out a few chocolate bars, a bag of chips, and—of course—a pack of beer.

"Very nutritious." you remarked.

Dean popped the cap off a bottle. "Hey, you want gourmet, sweetheart, you're in the wrong car."

You rolled your eyes but took a chocolate bar, unwrapping it as you leaned back against the windshield, eyes drifting to the sky. It really was beautiful up here. Quiet. Peaceful.

Then, the soft strumming of a guitar filters through the Impala's speakers. An old, slow love song, the kind that makes your chest ache in that bittersweet way.

You glanced at Dean, who was busy nursing his beer like this was no big deal. Like he didn't just put on a song as if this was a romance movie. Your stomach flipped, biting your bottom lip, you spoke.

"Dean…"

He cleared his throat. "Just thought, y'know… if you ever wanted that teenage movie moment… well. This ain't a prom, but…" He gestured around you. "Got the view. Got the music. Got the devastatingly handsome date."

You giggled, leaning into his side. "You are pretty devastating."

Dean grinned, draping an arm around your shoulders. For a while, you just sat there, listening to the song and cuddling.

After a moment of silence, he glanced down at you as he was caressing your shoulder gently. "So, what kinda stuff do you think you missed out on?"

"I don't know. Just… normal teenage things, I guess. Like— stupid, fun stuff. Sneaking out just to go nowhere. Sleepovers. Gossiping about crushes. A first kiss that wasn't tainted by some deep emotional crisis."

Dean winced playfully. "Oof. That one hit close to home."

You smirked. "Right?"

Dean leaned back on his palms, looking thoughtful. "Yeah, I get that. I missed out on a bunch of crap, too. No high school parties. No prom. No dumb summer jobs or college road trips. Just—" he huffed a dry laugh. "—training, hunting, and trying to keep Sammy safe."

You frowned, reaching for his hand. "That's not fair. You deserved those things, Dean."

He shrugged, squeezing your fingers. "Yeah, well… wasn't in the cards for me."

You looked down at your joined hands, your thumb tracing over his knuckles. "Sometimes I think about it. What kind of person I would've been if things had been different. If I'd been happy back then."

"You ever wish you could do it over?"

You hesitated, then shook your head. "No if it meant I wouldn't end up here. With you."

Dean's lips parted slightly, like you just knocked the wind out of him. Then, after a second, he cleared his throat and smirked. "Damn. You keep talkin' like that, and I'm gonna have to start writing poetry."

"Oh, please. I'd love to hear your poetry."

Dean straightened, putting on a dramatic voice. "Roses are red, Impala is black. Every time you kiss me, I forget how to act."

You laughed and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips. "That was beautiful. You should publish that."

Dean grinned. "Oh, totally. I heard bad poetry is in high demand."

"Then congrats, baby, you're about to be a bestseller."

You sat like that for a while, the laughter fading into something softer, warmer. Then, as the song playing on the radio faded into another slow melody, Dean suddenly sat up.

"Alright, that's it." He turned to you with a grin. "We're fixin' this."

You blinked. "Uh… Fixing what?"

He hopped off the hood, holding out a hand to you. "We missed out on stupid teenage things, right? So let's make up for it. Starting with a slow prom dance under the stars."

You huffed a small laugh but didn't resist when he took your hand, helping you down. The second you were standing, Dean turned, grabbed a soft flannel blanket from the basket, and carefully draped it over your shoulders.

"Wouldn't want my girl gettin' cold." he murmured, making sure it wrapped snugly around you. Then, with a boyish smirk, he added: "Also, this way you can't run when I step on your toes."

You giggled. "Wow. Confidence through the roof, Winchester."

Dean just grinned and pulled you closer, swaying you two gently to the quiet music playing from the Impala's radio.

At first, it was ridiculous. He exaggerated his steps like some old-school ballroom instructor, guiding you dramatically across the dirt like you were at some grand gala instead of parked on an empty hill. But you played along, batting your lashes and letting out an over-the-top sigh, as if you'd just been swept into the most magical moment of your life.

Then, somewhere along the way, the teasing melted into something softer.

Your movements slowed, your bodies falling into an easy rhythm. Your arms looped around Dean's neck, your fingers absentmindedly curling into his hair. His hands settled at your waist, thumbs drawing lazy circles through the fabric of your clothing. The blanket cocooned you in warmth, shielding you from the cold night air.

For a while, you just swayed. No words, no hurry. Just you two, the hum of the radio, the distant chirp of crickets, and the glow of the stars above.

Then Dean dipped his head, his nose brushing lightly against yours. His voice was quieter now, softer. "Y'know… I think I like our version of prom better."

You smiled up at him. "Yeah?"

"Mmhm." His voice was lazy. "No bad music. No ugly corsages. And best of all…" His lips quirked up. "I get to kiss the prettiest girl here."

You barely had time to catch your breath before Dean tilted his head, capturing your lips in a slow, lingering kiss. This one wasn't playful or teasing— it was deep, unhurried, and sure. Reassuring. Reassuring in a way that told you you didn't miss out on anything, everything little step in life brought you here. To him. And you knew, that this was more meaningful and real than any ghost of a never-happened memory.

[certifiedsexed]

if youre a bi trans guy can you still call yourself a pillow princess? is there another term? does it matter?

Well, the term pillow princess was born and fostered by the lesbian/sapphic community but it exists outside of it as well.

Unfortunately, its often used in a derogatory manner by certain people, especially those outside of the lesbian/sapphic community, but I think as long as you're being respectful about it, its not some awful transgression.

I don't know what the general consensus is, though, if I'm being honest.

Like, I'm a lesbian but any time I've talked with other lesbians/sapphics about guys using terms like "stone" or "pillow princess", we've just kinda discussed how we hate it when people use them as derogatory terms or how its kinda fun to hear old gay guys in movies using terms like that for themselves.

I've never debated/discussed how "okay" others think it is for guys to use it. I don't think it's thought of as a huge issue or something but y'know, take that with a grain of salt, obviously.

I do know some people use "Total Bottom", specifically in the general gay community and the definition is generally very similar to pillow princess. Stone bottom is also literally the same as pillow princess but a little less lesbian/sapphic specific.

In the end, I'd just go with whatever feels best to you. I've met other guys who're pillow princesses, total bottoms, stone bottoms, etc and I really think because they're such personal terms, comfort is kinda ideal.

Dunno how helpful this is but lemme know if you have any other questions! <33

[everseens]

it probably made things even more suspicious, especially because emilia was usually pretty open about her love life and the details of her intimacies with zehra with ease. now it was as if she was closing up, but she didn't know how to make an excuse for it. maybe it was the best policy to just be honest, but would that make things awkward between the two? she wasn't sure she wanted to give that up. she couldn't help but crack up suddenly at the idea of the same thing happening to zehra. "yeah, i doubt that," she responded as she quieted down with a chuckle. "you're right, i need to just stop freaking out about it. it could've meant nothing, but i dunno... has this ever happened to you before? where you've suddenly had conflicting feelings about a close friend?"

zehra couldn't help but take notice of the redness on emilia's cheeks and the hesitation that remained in her voice,  confusing her a little.  sure,  this topic of conversation isn't easy for everyone,  but given how close they are as best friends,  she thought it would be easier.  that em would want to divulge the details and gossip about the subject and what it could all mean,  no matter the awkwardness.  despite this,  she smiles,  waving her friend's concern away.  “  it's honestly no big deal,  em.  happens to everyone at some point,  like,  what if they've dreamed about you too?  ”  zehra counters,  eyebrow raising playfully.  “  if it's someone you're close to,  you really never know..  maybe you should test the waters?  try and see if there are vibes next time you see them?  ”  she offers with a small shrug,  as if it was the most simple,  easiest thing in the world.  “  definitely stop stressing yourself out over it,  though.  i don't want your head to explode right in front of me.  ”  teases,  hoping to make emilia smile.

[saturnswitch]

But for today, my dear, at least for today I want you to hold on to the Sun. To cup his warm energy into your freezing hands and internalise what peace and forgiveness feel like. Eat it, swallow that light and feel like a soft candle flame on a winter evening. Never to be consumed but to slowly burn away all the worries, guilt, shame and fears in your soul. Let this not be just once, don’t choke yourself back to blow away your own light. Stand tall and strong even when something tries to put you out. Hold on to the Sun a bit closer lately, hold on tighter. He’s not gonna burn you.

[senblades]

Hide in the mirror, or drown in the ship.

...

(comms open!)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Y'know, it's unfortunate more people don't compare Louis and Violet in good faith.

Like, when I do see people compare them, it's usually through the lens of one is good, and the other bad. One is more canon than the other, and here's why. One is objectively better for Clementine, and the other is less impactful, worse written, didn't have chemistry with her, insert several insults here, etc.

I don't think it's inherently bad to express why you might not like one of them, or why you prefer one over the other. That's fine, that's a matter of opinion. It only gets to me when it becomes hostile, or passive aggressive... but even then, I've learned to just roll my eyes and move on. Some people make it very clear that they're not worth having a discussion with.

However, I wish I could read more nuanced comparisons of the two that didn't default to the "and that's why this one is better." At least some are kind enough to tack on a "for my Clementine" at the end.

You know how it goes: Louis is cute and he makes Clementine laugh, whereas Violet's boring, her love is shallow, she's still not over Minerva and she's using Clementine as a rebound. Violentine's a bad ship because Violet's actually a traitor, and they're practically the same person and that's bad.

Violet's loyal and reliable, whereas Louis is annoying, he never takes anything serious, he's a traitor for his vote, and he's nothing but a distraction. Clouis is a bad ship because how could any Clementine possibly like him after he voted her and AJ out? That's bad!

That's always the conclusion, right? One good, one bad.

This is incredibly limiting and it drives me nuts.

They're foils. They contrast one another, highlight each other's strengths and flaws, in such an interesting way that it makes Clementine's choice between them all the more meaningful.

One is not good and the other bad, they're different, and I think that's worth exploring.

Let's start with a common argument: Violet is the more impactful option due to her connection to Minerva.

Now, to be fair, I can understand why someone on Team Violet would believe this. Yes, it's true that the confrontation with Minerva is more impactful for a violentine shipper who has more investment in Violet as a character. Louis doesn't have as strong of a connection to her.

However, what they're failing to recognize is that Minerva isn't the only ghost to haunt this narrative. Violet may have Minerva, yes, but Louis has Marlon... and that doesn't just go away once Marlon's dead.

Violet's route has Minerva as her ex-girlfriend, and her bond with Tenn that all comes to a head on the bridge. Louis' route has Marlon's death and how that specifically impacts his relationship with AJ and Clementine, and the slow burn of forgiveness on all sides.

Marlon and Minerva are also reflective of Clementine's worst outcomes.

Clementine and Marlon were tied together through Brody's blood splattered on their hands and faces. They both killed a part of Brody, but only one of them lies about who killed her first.

After Marlon dies, Clementine gradually replaces him throughout the game; Rosie is her dog now, she uses his bow [which Louis gave her], she becomes the leader. Clementine gets them to fight back, and when three of her people are captured, she doesn't cut her losses. She does what Marlon couldn't; "we're getting them back."

When she chooses Louis, he does for her what he never did for Marlon: he steps up.

Clementine proves she won't become Marlon just as she proves she won't become Minerva.

After getting James to agree to help them, Clementine and AJ talk about what to do if she ever gets bit. AJ says he'd want her to bite him, too. He repeats this sentiment after she's actually bitten, telling her he wants to stay and they could turn together, peacefully.

When Minerva confronts them on the bridge, she's dying... and she wants Tenn to die with her. She doesn't care who she has to kill in the process. She's more monster than human at this point, and most times, she succeeds.

They're both bitten. Clementine could've become a monster like Minerva in the end. She could've killed AJ, and they could've become walkers together. But she didn't. Minerva wanted Tenn to die for her, and Clementine wanted AJ to live for her.

Also, I should mention she has Minerva's axe. She carries the key weapons associated with Marlon and Minerva throughout different points in the game, further solidifying these connections. She uses Marlon's bow to save her friends, and she uses Minerva's axe to save AJ, who in turn uses it to save her.

What's also so interesting about this is how Marlon's alive in episode one, and Minerva is thought to be dead. Louis has his best friend, and Violet's lost hers. But, at the end of the episode, Marlon's dead and Minerva's revealed to be alive.

Marlon becomes the ghost, and Minerva becomes the monster. Clementine becomes to Louis and Violet what Marlon and Minerva never could... how does that not drive anyone else insane?

So, no. One is not objectively better, or more impactful, because of a connection to Marlon or Minerva. They're different. It just depends on which storyline you personally find more compelling.

Actually, let's talk about that a little more.

In my opinion, the most intriguing point of comparison between Louis and Violet stems from their perceptions of survival, and how that impacts Clementine.

An argument I see made against violentine is that Violet's boring because she and Clementine are too similar. This usually comes from clouis shippers who prefer the "opposites attract" dynamic Clementine and Louis have.

On the flip side, there's the counter argument that Louis is reckless, that he doesn't take survival as seriously as he should and Clementine wouldn't want him because of that.

These are interesting to me because I get where they're coming from... but they ultimately miss the point.

The other day, I replayed TFS. Except this time, I did something a little bit differently. I played my usual clouis route, but then I had the violentine route pulled up on my laptop so that I could watch these scenes, comparing them side by side… and something occurred to me. 

Louis is about challenging Clementine's perception of survival, and Violet is about validating it.

Louis challenges Clementine from the very moment we meet him—he’s playing music. His initial philosophy on survival butts heads with Clementine’s. The fact that hunting with him and Aasim challenges your perception of “your choices have consequences.” These games have conditioned the player to think along the lines of, “Yeah, Louis is more fun… but if I don’t hunt with Aasim, we won’t have any food.”

Except that’s just it. I hate to say it, Aasim, but in the grand scheme of things… hunting with you doesn’t matter. It's actually less rewarding. You know why? Because in the next section, we get food from the train station. It would’ve been more beneficial to spend time with Louis over hunting, hence how he challenges you.  

This then primes you for the choice between choosing to follow Louis or follow Violet. I know people complain about how this is presented with Violet doing something productive [checking the walls] and Louis playing piano… but that’s the point. If you’re going through with Louis’ full route, you need to meet him at his level, and in turn, he will meet you at yours. You need to accept the challenge, the idea that Clementine isn’t entirely right about the way she’s gone about survival.

Oh, and do I even need to mention the vote? The debate over Louis’ vote is exhausting. Often times, people tell on themselves in how they talk about it. It’s not actually about the fact that he voted against them. If it was, these people would have a bigger bone with pick with Mitch, Willy, Ruby, and Omar… and yet Louis is the one who takes all the blame as if he’s the only one personally kicking them out. 

Louis is reacting to the death of his best friend, and the complicated feelings that come with it being caused by AJ. He wants accountability, even if he knows something's wrong. You can either agree with him that it was murder, and set AJ on the path of atonement… or, you can double down and tell him to fuck off, AJ was justified. 

But here’s the thing… the vote adds to the appeal of Louis’ route. To someone who hates him, or at the very least is critical of his vote, that sounds mad or delusional.

Except it’s really not.

Ever heard of a thing called tension? Because there’s a lot of it in ep2 between clouis + AJ and it’s fantastic.

Yes, Louis voting them out is problematic because we need a problem to solve. We need something to feed the tension between him and Clementine. He stepped in front of a gun held by his best friend in order to protect her, forever changing their relationship… only for that to seemingly be taken away from us the moment AJ shoots Marlon. 

Yes, Louis’ route is about being challenged, but it’s also about challenging him. That he’s able to forgive them, that he’s able to question his own survival philosophy and understand theirs, that he’s able to apologize and actually change for the better… that right there is what makes clouis so damn good. 

He becomes hardened whereas Clementine softens. By the end of the game, they’re on a similar level now without neglecting their differences, and they can move forward together. 

That’s what makes Louis’ route appealing… and it’s also what makes it unappealing to people who prefer Violet. 

By contrast, Violet’s already on Clementine’s level when it comes to this perception of survival. She validates that Clementine’s on the right path.

They have other similarities in the way that they’re both female, queer, they both have a kid they look after, they’re not always great with other people, etc. 

People who prefer Louis might consider this boring, but I think to Team Violet, it’s comforting. It’s comforting to have a partner who takes this as seriously as you do, who wants to get shit done. They’re playing Clementine with a similar attitude, and don’t believe it needs to be challenged. It’s comforting to feel validated on something you already firmly believe in. 

We also see this if we compare the hunting and fishing scenes. You have to make an effort to choose Louis by choosing to neglect hunting, but the game makes you fish with Violet no matter what.

Violet’s prioritizing fishing because they need food. That’s what they’ve set out to do, so let’s do it. The game is letting you know that’s the case, and if you value that, continue pursuing her. 

While fishing, they discuss why things are weird with her and Brody. Violet doesn’t take well to Clementine’s blunt, “Because you make it weird. Brody tries and you just make fun of her."

That’s understandable because I think she already kind of knows why and is looking to have her feelings validated. She prefers it when Clementine suggests that it’s because Brody never said sorry for what happened to the twins. 

There’s also comfort and validation in the way Violet sides with Clementine and AJ after Marlon’s death. She votes for them to stay, vocalizing how much she disapproves of the results. There’s this feeling that I recognize from a lot of the sapphic romance I read; “it’s you and me against the world, I’ll always have your back, even if you’re in the wrong, I’ll fight for you.”

In our case, it’s violentine + AJ against the rest of Ericson, save Tenn and Aasim. Violet validates that AJ was justified because Marlon was a liar and murderer, claiming that AJ and Clementine did nothing wrong. Violet fights to keep them. 

The tension between violentine in ep2 is different because instead of one pushing the other away, they’re being forced apart by the vote and there’s nothing they can do about it. That tension is somewhat released when Clementine comes back and they’re reunited, working out a plan to best defend the school. 

It’s also why Violet’s presented as doing something productive when you follow her instead of Louis, and why she asks if you want to hang out after checking the defenses. 

All that being said, allow me to reiterate that one is not good and the other bad, they're different. These concepts of challenge and change/validation and comfort exist on a neutral road as diverging paths. It’s up to the player to pick what path they prefer, but that doesn’t mean the other path isn’t worth acknowledging or analyzing. 

I should also mention that they’re not exclusive; there is overlap with validation being present in Louis’ route and challenges in Violet’s. They’re just more present in episodes 3 and 4 after we’ve made our decision. 

There are several more examples of how this all fits together, buuuuut–

Ya’ll wanna compare some allegories?

Those familiar with my content might already know where I’m going with this as I’ve made a post about Louis and the piano in the past. 

You see, I believe that there are allegories for Louis and Violet��s hearts present in their routes: Louis’ piano, and Violet’s pin. 

I already have a thorough, in-depth analysis of Louis and the piano that you can read, so all I’ll say about it is that on the night of the raid, he asked Clementine to carve a piece of herself into his heart so that no matter what, their initials will be immortalized together in its wood…

And that makes me fucking feral. 

But I'm also so normal about it.

As for Violet, her heart is the star gazing pin she gives to Clementine. She gives it to her so she’ll always remember that night… but she doesn’t give it to her until after Clementine’s saved her, and that fascinates me in the context of it being allegory. 

Louis asks Clementine to carve herself into his heart right before the raid, cementing that from that moment on, he is utterly devoted to her. I believe this is part of the reason why Louis is still happy to see her if he’s the one who’s captured. Yes, yes, he’s also incredibly traumatized from having his tongue cut out and he’d be happy to see anyone, yada yada… but listen, if you romance Louis and he’s captured, his heart remains with her—that piano with their intitals is on full display. When he sees her, he’s still so devoted to her that he refuses to accept that it’s at all her fault. Even when she says it is, he shakes his head... and he so easily accepts her when they’re together in the end. From the moment Clementine puts knife to wood, he’s hers. 

Now, look… you might think I’m going somewhere not great with this but hear me out. 

I think after Clementine’s gone star gazing with her, Violet is fully ready to give her heart to her. Y’know, give her the pin. But, think about what Violet said about how people have left, but Clementine came back. Plus, with the impending raid to think about, maybe Violet should keep the pin until the right moment. 

I believe a key difference between her and Louis is that Violet needs one last thing to solidify that Clementine’s the one. 

Louis gives her his heart prior to the raid because of everything that’s already gone down between them following Marlon’s death. Violet needs to know that Clementine’s willing to fight for her the way she fought before. When Clementine saves her from the raiders, it’s solidified. Even after she sees Minerva again, it changes nothing.

It’s also worth noting that the pin is something Clementine wears. Like the piano carving, it’s a piece on display for everyone to see, to let them know whose heart Clementine has.

Violet literally handed Clementine her heart as a means of saying, “I’m yours. I’m devoted to you.” 

This is why romanced/captured Violet is devastating, and is why she behaves the way she does in the cells. She was so ready to give her heart away and then nope, sorry, Vi! You get knocked unconscious by raiders instead! 

If anything, you kind of deserve to be told to fuck off if you romanced her and then let her get captured. Just sayin’. 

Look, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the captured violentine route, mostly with Violet being as forgiving as she is after her eyes are burned—yes, yes, I know, her eyes are burned and Minerva messed with her head so of course now she’s not hostile, yada, yada. 

But I think it’s rather telling that you don’t get the pin in this route. Sure, Violet’s willing to forgive and possibly pursue this romance in the future… but she’s not ready to hand over her heart, not truly. Not after everything that’s happened. 

And if you want to get extra angsty about it, imagine that Violet made the pin right after they parted ways, but before the raiders came. Meaning that if she’s captured, it’s possibly still sitting somewhere, abandoned. 

Mmhmmm, very normal about this. I feel normal. My normalness about this continues... normally. I'm not losing my shit thinking about that. Nope. Why would I? I wouldn't! So normal.

Okay just let me talk about their reactions to Tenn's death and then I'll shut up.

This makes me want to gnaw my own foot off, I can barely handle it.

AJ shoots Tenn on the bridge because Clementine trusted him to make the hard calls. This saves Louis or Violet's life.

When Louis jumps across, he's completely silent as he watches Tenn die... and then he's pissed; "What the fuck?! How could you just shoot him like that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for him, and Louis is so upset that he forces AJ to look at what he's done, to watch the walkers eat Tenn; "Tenn's dead. He's dead! Do you realize that?! Look! [...] He's... he's gone, because of you. Just fucking gone."

If Clementine says AJ saved his life, Louis says, "So what, we just cut him loose? Gun him down like he was nothing?"

If Clementine says nothing, Louis says, "Tenn was just a little boy!"

The reason Louis responds this way is because in this moment, he just relived Marlon's death all over again, but worse. So, SO much worse!

When Violet jumps across, she breaks down, begging, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no! No, no, no..." as she watches Tenn die... and then says to AJ, "No! What the fuck?! How could you do that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for her, and Violet is faaaar from okay; "For me? I can't... Tenn is gone! That soft little boy who liked to draw, he's gone, because of you!"

If Clementine says AJ saved her life, Violet says, "You think that's okay?! Just gunning down one of our own?!"

And there it is.

Louis is hardened in this situation because he already went through this... Violet hasn't, not with AJ. She softened up throughout her route due to her relationships to him and Clementine... but this is the moment where she realizes that maybe AJ wasn't as justified as she believed, and this is the consequence.

This leads us to the ending where AJ asks if they're still mad about him killing Tenn, and I just... I'm biting my foot right now because the script has flipped.

Louis is forgiving and understanding. He's soft, he's sympathetic, he shakes AJ's hand to let him know that all is forgiven and they're okay; "I... AJ, I guess it's like... You saw something I didn't. About the situation, I mean. Minnie and the walkers and Tenn, it's just all this chaos in my head when I think back on it. [...] Clem says you saved my life? Well, then, that's exactly what you did. And how can I stay mad at anyone for doing that?"

Or, alternatively, "He was your friend, AJ. I know you are hurting just as much as I am."

As for Violet? She's understanding, too... but she's not quite ready to forgive yet; "The thing you said on the bridge...that he was messing up all the time. It wasn't something new, you know. Tenn got himself or other people into trouble all the time, long before you guys got here. He was always so lost. He lived in a world that just...isn't there, you know? And that's why I tried to look after him. But when I was pulling him away from the walkers, and Minnie, I could also see...he just wasn't there anymore."

"So you're mad, but sad."

"Can I be that for a while?"

And it's completely understandable that she's hurting and struggling with how she feels about AJ moving forward! She wants to be okay, she wants to forgive him, she just needs time.

Now, because I'm forever bitter, but I'm gonna mention this as well: whenever I see someone point at Violet's scene and say, "See!? This is how LOUIS should've acted in ep2!" like... they're telling on themselves again. Not just that they don't understand Louis as a character or his route, but that they don't fully grasp Violet's part in this either. Or time frames, for that matter.

Let me put it to you in simple terms... they react the same.

After Marlon and Tenn die, they're upset. They're pissed. They blame AJ and yell at him. After they've had time to process what happened [Louis after the two week time skip, Violet after time passes between the bridge and the ending] they share the same, "I'm still upset about Marlon/Tenn. Can I be that for a while and still be your friend?" sentiment.

The difference is that Louis is treated poorly for it because of the vote, and because we feel it first hand for longer... Violet got to grieve off screen and come back after she's sorted herself out.

It's a disservice to both of their characters because it's rooted in that same mentality that I criticized at the beginning: "This is why one is better than the other."

Do I need to say it again? I'm gonna say it again.

One is not good and the other bad. They're different.

There are so many fun discussions that could come from putting Louis and Violet side by side, and examining them. I haven't even covered the different ways they're introduced, or compared their ep3 dates to see what it says about them and the overall narratives! What about the cell scenes!? How they react when Dorian's about the cut off their fingers! The way they approach James upon meeting him!

That last one in particular is especially funny! They're all under stress about blending in with a herd of walkers to infiltrate a boat to save their friends, and yet Louis easily saunters up to the guy wearing walker skins with a smile, and makes him laugh by saying, "Functional and fashionable. I'll take two."

Violet approaches James like he's an injured wild animal that's going to bite her, and bless her heart, she tries with, "I, uh… hey. Hey there, James. Sorry about Willy." Then James gives her this judgmental side-eye, like buddy? She's not the weirdo here.

There is so much potential to dissect here, and I want to see people do it... but I want them to do it fairly, in good faith.

I want to get away from the idea of comparing them to "prove" which is better because there is no objective better. There isn't! That's a waste of time!

I'm so done with The Debate™; it's unhelpful, it's annoying, and it's boring as shit. I've heard it all before, and you probably have, too.

I want to put Louis and Violet under a microscope and study them with the thought process of, "one does this and the other does that... what does it mean!? what does it say about the narrative!? Oh my god, they have the same opinion on this thing, WRITE THAT DOWN!"

So yeah, that's my ramble for the night.

I'm gonna go replay TFS for further research.

[bixels]

What did/do you like about Pharah?

Uh, gameplay-wise, I really love characters in shooters who rely on three-dimensional movement techs. Chaining together hover and jump to stay in the air for as long as possible and keep momentum is so satisfying, and picking enemies off from the sky made me feel like a bird of prey. I was a good Pharah main.

Story-wise, there unfortunately isn't much to canonically go off because Pharah is so underutilized and neglected. Her personality's pretty boilerplate "heroic hero" (she's literally inspired by Captain America).

But it's the crumbs/bits and pieces that I really latched onto. Pharah's a confirmed lesbian; her short story with Baptiste implies she harbors a crush on Mercy (fucking thank you.). She's biracial Egyptian/First Nations. She has major mommy issues, having grown up both admiring and resenting Ana. She's the bridge between Old Overwatch, inspired by the idealized heroes who surrounded her childhood, and New Overwatch. She's one of the only inter-generational characters in the cast; someone whose experiences span the gap, which is why I seriously believe Pharah would make a great main character.

There isn't much to go off of, though; she's a very uncomplicated character (she's a soldier for a private military corporation, lol.). But that just means she's a blank slate character, so I've seen fanfic writers run wild and create some really interesting takes on her. My favorite interpretation of her's a dense, herbo gym-bro type (a lot of her liens are about work outs, exercising, and playing sports) who's easily excitable under her seemingly self-serious, armored visage. We see how she tends to gloat and hype herself up when she's on a streak too, so Pharah definitely has a competitive and boastful side under her more professional and militant performance.

Now Mercy? Mercy is a real complex character.

[ying-doodles]

When do you stop chasing after the one you once cherished? When do you realize they are beyond saving? ... Or perhaps, the better question is: When do you finally realize that they don't want to be saved?

Is it better to be doomed by the narrative or to condemn your fate by your own hand? How far must you fall from grace in order to raise the ones around you? ... And how long do you fall for before you no longer hear their cries?

... Okay so maybe I did think about @sunflowercider's post (and the replies) for a bit too long... (>⤙<；) The idea of Lloyd going down a dark path and forcing everyone out in order to keep them safe was just too enticing,,

[qroier]

edited my post from yesterday on spiderbit eurydice and orpheus to be clearer. it is now. way longer klsdjfk. but the idea is the same. anyway enjoy reading if you do and uh. pues f if you don't, no? lskdfjsdk. kinda already mentioned it in the post but should clarify here that i'm 100% talking about the greek myth.

-

Thinking about spiderbit as eurydice and orpheus is so interesting to me, cause I think depending on how you look at it and how you think of the story, there's an argument for both. And then you remember everything that was purgatory and how clear of a parallel it is to the myth hdksjdks. Honestly though, I feel like the purgatory parallels are the biggest reason roier cubito as orpheus is winning out on that one poll, and I kinda have to disagree with that. The evidence for orpheus roier is there from the start. Roier cubito is always and forever a perfect, permanent orpheus figure even before considering purgatory, and it's down to the devotion roier and orpheus cling to and the grief they both drown in. (The rest under the read more)

Backtracking first for a bit to set the stage. There are many different versions of the eurydice and orpheus myth out there, and its nature as a myth means that interpretations (and translations of any original latin or greek versions) are always changing. Disclaimer of course that my understanding and general knowledge of the myth has been mainly influenced by the wider english-speaking cultural approach to it. I'm focusing on the orpheus archtype from my understanding of what it means (which I'll explain along the way) because otherwise if I didn't I'd end up getting too boggled down in "virgil said this according to this translation" and "ovid went more in this direction following this translator" details. and there is no way in hell i'm struggling through translating on my own with my measle little two years of latin classes under my belt lskdjfkldfj.

But regardless, here's a very basic and brief summary that most versions tend to follow: Eurydice and orpheus are married. Eurydice dies. Orpheus treks out to the underworld through the power of music to save her and get her back. He's told the only way he can have her is if he makes the treacherous trip back to the mortal realm without turning to look at her once. He looks back right before he makes it, and fails in saving her. Sounds familiar, right? slkdjfsk

Don't get me wrong, orpheus cellbit still makes sense in a way. That's part of why the poll and idea in general is so interesting. Heed the disclaimer again but to me, the biggest, most obvious, and most immediately linked connotation the myth has always had is one of devotion. Like the type of devotion that would take you all the way into the afterlife and all the way back in the hopes that that might save the person you love. Cellbit cubito is nothing if not devoted, and normally in the loudest ways possible. He loves shouting out his devotion at all times to anyone in close proximity. It just makes sense that if anyone could hold the level of devotion necessary to be orpheus it'd be him, cause we all know he'd do anything for roier.

Plus being honest, it also makes sense just going by the dynamics in their relationship that they most often present to others. Roier cubito kinda likes playing into the dynamic of asking other people to "save" him, whether that's from mobs or hunger or anything, so long as it's not something actually serious. So much so that the idiot (said lovingly) has conditioned everyone, and I do mean everyone, both islanders and audience alike, into thinking he's defenseless and needs saving. Maxo put it best that one time when he said he felt like roier after cellbit saved him from some mobs, only for cellbit to have to correct him and say that it's usually the other way around. As far as most are concerned, cellbit does the rescuing while roier gleefully asks for the help. It is very easy to make the jump from the idea that eurydice is being saved and the image of roier cubito calling out for help with a scorpion that he could (normally at least, I know he didn't have any weapons or gear that one time during purgatory) bring down on his own. It definitely doesn't help that cellbit is, of course and as always, already running to roier with a weapon in hand to kill the scorpion. At the first chance, he's already trying to help. Anything for his husband.

So it makes sense that orpheus cellbit, who clearly loves doing the saving, would drag himself through hell in his devotion to save eurydice roier, who loves being the one saved! But then you start remembering how the story came about. You start wondering, well, why does the devotion need to be so strong? Why does eurydice even need to be saved? What has brought the both of them to the gates of the afterlife? Oh. Right. It's because she died. She's dead. Eurydice, the love of orpheus’ life, is dead. 

Saving her takes and is devotion, yes, but it's also an attempt to escape grief. If she’s saved, there’s no need to mourn. If she’s saved, then she’s not dead and there’s no grief. And, always, there is no one more grief-riddled than roier (except maybe maxo, whose grief has permanently killed him). No one knows more intimately than roier how tough of a fight it is to escape constant grief because he is constantly grieving, and it just keeps getting worse. His number one recurring theme since arriving on the island has been that he will lose loved ones. To the point that sometimes, even if the person is still technically around, the grief around them and the relationship that once was finds ways to persist (just look at the mess that revolved around spreen cubito before he was confirmed to be dead).

The devotion still applies to him too, of course. Even though it's in quieter ways, there's no denying that roier is as equally devoted to cellbit as cellbit is to him. Cellbit once promised roier he'd rescue him if the feds ever arrested him. Roier once told cellbit he'd go after him and wouldn't stop until he got him back if the feds tried taking cellbit again. And that's not even the only time roier has promised that, he's said similar things multiple times before. He even had to fulfill that same promise once already, back during the regret arc when cellbit went missing trying to save felps. If there is one thing that is true, it's that roier is not lacking in orpheusian devotion.

Actually, extending that devotion from being based in romantic love to also including familial love just makes it all the clearer how much of an orpheus roier has already been. Orpheus fights through the journey, holding on to hope and powering himself through devotion, because the alternative of having permanently lost eurydice, of having to succumb to grief, is too much for him to take. Roier fought through the entire island and later a dungeon, holding on to hope and powering himself through devotion, because the alternative of having permanently lost bobby, of having to succumb to the grief of loosing his son to something outside of his control, was too much for him to take.

And then they both fail. Orpheus looks back too early. Sometimes he forgets, in his excitement to be so close to the end, sometimes doubt gets the best of him and he has to check, and sometimes the need to see his love again overwhelms all his senses. Sometimes maybe it's somehow all three. Roier also looked back too early, in a way, but cucurucho only knows what way that actually was. It could have been that he technically did die right at the very end before he could make it through the dungeon, or it could have been that the gods were feeling particularly cruel that day. Either way, bobby wasn't returned to him. Either way, eurydice vanishes in the morning light after orpheus gets one last glimpse of her. Either way, Bobby vanishes behind the door after roier and jaiden are given only 10 minutes to say goodbye.

This is all without even touching on some of the details about how roier's singing charms everyone he meets and how music is such an important part of his character (for those of you unfamiliar with the myth, orpheus' connection to music is so deep that the greeks named a constellation after his lyre). Or, as notes in the last version of this post pointed out, how his previous journeys to the underworld have shaken his faith and trust (which would probably need to be a whole entire other post on its own). 

Roier is just permanent orpheus. He can't help it. If you believe that characters in myths are left behind, endlessly retelling their journeys even once the book is closed, then orpheus is still there, making that trip to the afterlife and back. His story is being retold through roier, who is here now. Roier, who has already gone on two trips to the afterlife and back, already told this story twice before, and is now preparing himself for a third (even a fourth, if you want to extend this whole thing and include purgatory and the eggs). It’s retold in how Roier has to do the saving, again, because he keeps getting left behind. In how he’s always drowning in grief, in some way or another. How he’ll drag himself through the journey every single time if it means a chance at saving someone he loves. If it means saving himself from more grief.

So the stage is set. Purgatory happened. Orpheus has loved, again, and he's lost, again. Roier may like it when he's the one being saved but he's been forced yet again into a position where he has a chance to do the saving. He's facing an increasingly insurmountable mountain of grief on one side and a plunging chance at salvation on the other. The book has been turned back to its first page. The story is rewinding to tell itself again. We know what path he'll pick. Now all that’s left is to see if this third trip succeeds. To see if this retelling is one where orpheus does not look back. And if he does? Well.

"Dying again, [Eurydice] did not blame her husband — What could she complain of except she was loved?" - ovid, translator: stanley lombardo

[lunaetis]

@apocryphis asked :

do you feel anything when you look at me? (oho some pain from wriothesley to arle)

I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU. || accepting

─「アルレッキーノ」─  if anyone asked, if anyone questioned, if anyone ever felt the need to get suspicious about the constant visit the KNAVE spent underneath the water of fontaine and upon the ground outside the ruling of THE IUDEX and within the grasp of the hound, then the answer was it's business. that was all it was, that was all it could be, all it should be. a simple business visit, a negotiation offered by the FOURTH HARBINGER to the duke.

                then why was it that their eyes could never leave one another whenever they happened to be in the same room ? whether it was within his office that she had found her way inside more times than he could count, or the rarer times they caught each other upon the street of fontaine and barely a glance was exchanged. never words. never acknowledgement. never more than a split second attention.

                they weren't supposed to meet, they weren't supposed to get close, they weren't supposed to feel anything.

                then why was it that her GAZE remained locked to his now that they were behind closed doors ? why was it that she found herself towering over the man upon his desk when the conversation could've been conducted with respectable distance between them. why was it that her clawed digits remained on his face, grasping the shape of his jaw and traced them oh-so-carefully when she should've driven them right through his chest ?

                it was QUIET, her mind. her very consciousness that was always humming, always noisy, always so loud from whispers of the days long gone. countless whispers haunting her every waking moment and even in her sleep. THE CURSE, THE ENTITY wrapping its claws around her throat, preventing her from achieving even something as human as death. it was a proof that THE KNAVE was no longer mortal. she was no longer HUMAN. those eyes bearing the power and curse of immortality, the hands and body that was possessed and morphed beyond limit, and the voice ...

                the voice in her head refusing to let her rest ...

                how it went silent the moment their eyes locked. so quiet. so peaceful. only when these eyes met hers.

                did she still have a HEART, she wondered ? or had it been lost the moment the curse took shape and the entity took over. maybe it was lost the moment she cut all of them free of MOTHER, when the warmth of blood soak her hands and fingers, tainting them crimson and marked her as the successor. father ... mother no more. human no more. duties. responsibilities. titles. she was to live in place of those who died. live. live. live. live until no one was left.

                do you feel anything when you look at me ?

                this feeling within her hollowed chest, this TIGHTNESS forming a knot in the deepest part of her, the fire ( or was it warmth ? ) burning whenever they danced on the battlefield, when her weapon clashed with his, when his hands caged her against the wall, when hers held his own. when silvery blue contrasted with crimson crosses.

                the entity was still. wordless. silent.

                " how could a monster be capable of feeling anything, dear warden ? "

                how could i ever loved like human if i'm not one ? it can't be love if i don't know what it is or how it's supposed to be. it can't be love if i don't have a heart to feel it. it can't be love. it cannot be.

                and she pulled him in, diminishing the gap between their lips with a kiss.

                whatever this is, it's yours. only yours.

[bmpmp3]

lemme tell you im starting to get a little sick of when im complaining about when a show or movie is writing a major female character with not as much depth as her male cohorts or she's written oddly plot device-like for a main character and people always tell me "oh but it's intentional, we're seeing her through the eyes of the male main character and he has a crush on her so he doesnt see her flaws" because like

FIRST of all yeah i get it but its hard to write that trope interestingly to me at this point without a lot of work put into subversion so intentionality doesnt make it any less boring

SECONDLY half the time people say this about ensemble cast stuff and like why is the random dude suddenly designated as the most perspective of all perspective characters when it comes to this specific woman. why dont we get to see the other characters perspectives on her too?

AND THIRDLY do people view women they have crushes on as bland plot devices without lives of their own enough irl that this is so universal in writing? isnt the point of having a crush wanting to hang out and know more about your crush, know about their likes and dislikes and all that. am i missing something here

[justmydrawingsandfandomstuff]

wdym you used ai as a collaborative tool? /nm /gen question

Since I don't think in words (I think the term is "mentalese" for the type of thoughts I have ?), it can be quite exhausting and difficult to translate that into words all the time, so I can't write on my own. You know that feeling when you have a word on the tip of your tongue but you can't find it ? That's basically me all the time. So I make the AI…try to guess what's I'm thinking more or less. I used to rely on it a lot more in the beginning too (I also rely more on it on bad days, though sometime I can't write even with AI), and while little by little it got less difficult (I think it kinda helped my brain to have an easier time translating thoughts into words, at least for stories), I don't think I could write without it one day. So I tag my fics with both "Written in collaboration with an AI" (meaning it as a more general "I used AI in some way for this work") and "AI used as an assistive tool" (meaning it as a more specific "I used AI to help with disability") as opposed to tagging "AI generated" which for me means that the whole fic was generated though AI with maybe some light editing.

And if you're interested in seeing how I use it to help, here's a screenshot that show it pretty well:

(I also tend to retry/delete&retry until I get the specific words I want which is not visible on the screenshot but it gives a pretty good idea of how I use it)

[lokh]

testosterone can make ur gums bleed more?????????

[seeminglyseph]

been seeing a lot of people talking about modern kids and blaming "Millennial Parents" and while Millennial is a wide age bracket, a lot of the kid-to-youths that people are talking about are not being parented by Millennials. They're parented by Gen X.

Like I can accept the very young Gen Alpha or whatever, but like. A vast majority of Millennials are not the parents of older teens in high school. I don't understand why Gen X is never part of the conversation when it comes to weird generation war shit?? it always seems to be Millennials who are fucking shit up. but like. I'm not trying to say like "Millennials never did anything wrong" or whatever, but like. it genuinely feels like reports on the current generation of students and children, and the current generation of parents etc is like. Wrong?

Like I'm 35 and like the big thing in my generation was "we didn't have kids or we had kids really late" and I'm an elder Millennial. not the oldest, but like. in general on the older end. The oldest Millennials are typically born in 81 so like they'd be 43. They could have High School kids, but that's the highest bracket of the oldest Millennials. it blends into Xillenials pretty hard in there. So where's Gen X in the conversation? Why doesn't it ever seem to come up? It's weird...

[quincyhorst]

Okay, okay. I enjoy writing observations about EuroB teams, and I'm glad they are getting a decent response so far. So, here's another one: For some reason in the game cutscenes, the reserve keepers of Brockenborg (Left) and Red Matador (Right) are seen defending the goal, yet both have the number 1.

...Yes, I'm aware this isn't much of an unknown fact, given it appears on the wiki. But here's something that tends to be quite overlooked on all of this: When it comes to Rose Griffon, the main keeper is playing there instead thus his number is left intact.

So... How come the number 1 for RM and BB change, yet for RG is the same as always?

Yeah, I don't know how to answer this either. I guess it was just a mistake, really. The BB reserve keeper also appeared on the respective first FFI episode (68), so I guess they went from there but messed up on the numbers. Dunno. 🤷‍♂️

But maybe we could give it a different view in-universe. Maybe the lineup could have been different back on the European qualifiers...

With this said, hope you enjoyed this short post so far. Under the cut we enter headcanon territory, so feel free to leave if you're not interested.

So, my ideas for both RM and BB are:

Since Red Matador was first formed, Juan Zubeldia was the main keeper of Red Matador, with another character being the backup. However let's just say the coach wasn't very satisfied with neither, and the Unicorn Fiasco (Happening post-Euro League) just proved him even further. For a long time he wasn't sure who he could choose, given there way too many interesting candidates. However, let's just say that the solution came in the most unexpected way possible, with Fermín Sánchez. It was quite the ironic pick, given Fer had barely played soccer before, not even during the special tournament done pre-FFI. Yet his skills, his physique and the potential he had were enough to convince the coach to pick him over any pre-existing keeper. A controversial choice, both outside AND inside the team. Trust me, there was somebody on the team who had too much tension with him. But Spain was on a hurry and the main tournament was happening soon, so... There wasn't a proper Plan B. And yes, this meant that not only Juan got benched, but the reserve keeper was kicked out. (He'll still be going to Liocott, worry not.) As for Juan's opinion on the matter, well, he became quite upset by this sudden change, feeling completely guilty of not giving his best. Being on the bench isn't that fun either with such teammates, but let's see the brighter side: At least Federico wants to comfort him :')

As for Brockenborg... I still have no idea how I could interpret this, but this is my current idea for now: In the original lineup, Gerald was the main keeper, but Thorsten was the reserve one. However before before the qualifiers started the coach realized that Berger had better skills to use on the field, and Gerald was of use on very specific situations. So, she ended up swapping them, adding a new item to her list of controversial choices pre-Liocott. I don't think neither keeper has very strong feelings about the matter. MAYBE Thorsten was unsure on him being first on the field than Gerald, but he got over it soon enough. Plus, he's not alone. He gets on well with the defense, specially with his new bff Luka.

Maybe i'll change this on the future, maybe not. Feel free to bring up your own ideas too!

[skrunksthatwunk]

roommate's partially blind(?) female turtle keeps doing this today to elevate her basking game