#I dont have ideas for full pieces with
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Made a thing idk. Name of character names after the cut
Jade Harley (Homestuck); Leorio Paradinight (HxH); Siri Keeton (Blindsight); Nico Robin (One Piece); Alexandra 'Sanya' Kazarina (PafL)
Tabitha Scarlet (Scarlet Hollow); Kaladin Stormblessed (Stormlight); Isaac (Castlevania); Superman (DC); Rachel Lindt (Worm)
Finral Roulacase (BC); Kitty Pryde (X-Men); Cheery Littlebottom (Discworld); Aradia Megido (Homestuck)
Shigeo 'Mob' Kageyama (MP100); Valerie (Echopraxia); Travis Touchdown (NMH); Sanji (One Piece); Maki Zenin (JJK)
Petrichor (Saga); Blake Thorburn (Pact); Thorfinn (Vinland Saga); Alluka Zoldyck (HxH); Galaxy 'Alex' Stern (Ninth House)
#My friends questioned me how exactly that's a bingo#it's really not#it's just an excuse to finally draw a shitload of characters#I dont have ideas for full pieces with#and also procrastinate on my MAP part lmao#if you win I'll give you a blowie or smth#the prize is friendship#my artwork#favorite character bingo#jade harley#leorio#siri keeton#nico robin#pafl sanya#tabitha scarlet#kaladin#isaac castlevania#clark kent#rachel lindt#finral roulacase#kitty pryde#cheery littlebottom#aradia megido#shigeo kageyama#valerie echopraxia#travis touchdown#sanji#maki zenin#petrichor#blake thorburn
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piece i did for @arensika 's project. the divine & the machine
#ultrakill#was VERY fun to do!!!!!!#gabriel#v1#gabv1el#in my eyes!#gen art#aren i am so excited for tha project you have no idea...... everyone's pieces are so peak#go follow aren too. btw#it was a struggle bc i dont work in cmyk often and. Full pieces... Ohh....
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arrives 15 min late with a latte
......sup
#yosuke hanamura#persona 4#cool now that its done i can ramble in the tags#fellas im surprised hes here and done#did not think that was gonna happen#fuck i forgot smth#eh ill fix it before i make my print#anywho i might make more i might not who knows not i#yukiko is the next one i have half an idea on but also i have some shining nikki designs rattling around with my sole braincell#i also made a shadow alt for the back but idk if i like the mouth so yall arent gonna see him#also i need to find a gold foil guy that does odd sizes and like moq of 1#bc i wanna do this in gold foil#and its tarot card size bc im dumb as hell#but i want a print for my wall and i know sure as shit no one else will want one hence the moq of 1#my heart wants to make the whole major arcana for p4 but my past completed works says °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ 𝑛𝑜 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・#so whatever gets done will get done#also im gonna reblog this a lot bc i put in too many hours to get a singular note by me so like if you dont wanna see it block me lmfao#if you have any hot takes for future cards please share with the class bc i only have ideas for yukiko and a full cast she does not make fr#so uh yeah yeehaw#idk what else to ramble about but like cannot believe yosuke fucking hanamura is the first chara to get a completed piece in 5 years#im not fucking kidding#the rest were all quick graphite or abandoned#hes not even my fave in p4- thats naoto protag chan kou and nanako#boys lucky to hit top 5#he just kinda crawled into my affection like some kind of sad pathetic creature idk how it happened either#maybe hes overprocessed now that im looking at it#nope i looked too long this is it this is how he is#ill do better by the women i promise
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it just idea .......
#not art (yet) babeyy#had the thought of '' ogh hyperfem barbarian!fig'' the other day and. well thats another design set#and adaine's our Hoodie Kid™ this time#but the specifics of these silhouettes are kinda tricky#esp. with adaine and like. how to differentiate her and gorgug (who still wears a hoodie the normal way in freshman year)#still straight up have No idea what fabian and kristen look like yet...#they and riz are like the self-seekers coming into this freshman year and riz true to form looks like Nothing. just Absolute Squat#so it makes a Little sense if they go that way too. but thats like. idk I dont foresee that being visually interesting#no actually I dont think I can make kristen look like just some guy if I actively try. so we'll see about her#just thinking a little bit abt adaine showing up at school with a bag full of clothes she can change into so shes not wearing#the damn hudol uniform the whole day. but no second pair of shoes so she's wearing That with the mary janes#fig offers to switch shoes with her every day at school until adaine ends angwyn's life#(still gotta actually put it down on paper but I dont think fig stays hyperfem the whole way thru I think kristen is her awakening to#more aesthetics. which is funny bc I think kristen is the most Character character of them all. shes like naruto shes got a closet#of just the same pieces)#(this is a liittle bit informed by my exmo friend's stories. but also its an adhd thing sometimes. from experience)
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poll
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#also .... does anyone know a simple cheap or free video editing software?#i know of davinci resolve but the full version for 300 currency and they also promote alot of ai stuff#and i kinda stopped reading after i saw that .. is it genAI or just some simple algorithm bs?#anyway i keep fighting with myself bc i also am deathly afraid of the toxicity of youtube and the zelda fandom#bc i KNOW i cant not mention the racism problem .. its a big feature of it and part of why i feel the way i do about it#and also know you dont have to be a racist to immediately blow a fuse when hearing your fav piece of media has problems tm#i guess its also that unpredictability of youtube#grrrrrrrrrr#i have so many rewrite ideas too that i dont know if it would be a waste to work on#AND WHAT IF ITS ALREADY TOO LATE
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One of the most frustrating parts of writing for me is working on a scene for hours if not days and being like "this is way too long, people are going to lose interest. I need to cut this down and move things along." And then I scroll back to the beginning and everything I've written isn't even one full page.
#the amount of time spent on a piece vs how long it is internal clock is way off#Yall have no idea I panic on something#esp if Ive been struggling to write and I work on it on and off for a bit so I dont have the full context of how short a section is#it just feels so gd long bc Ive been working on it for the past week
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Yeah I'm sharing them now because if I decide to wait to pass them digitally I will ✨never do it✨
Spiderverse x One Piece AU!
A little something that started as an exercise in character design and then I got a little bit into it lmao
I did design the rest of the East Blue Crew but uh... they were kinda ugly/boring, I put more effort into these two because they're the 💕favs💕
Info, kinda. Honestly I don't have a lot thought out its mostly random ideas that mushed together sort of resemble a well put together au, just like everything I do <3
Nami:
- Spider-Woman of her universe, while her design isn't exactly original I really liked using her orange and blue colors. She has the spider logo on her back because she hates spiders and hates looking at them lmao
- In her universe, her best friend Usopp died when she failed to save him (kinda her "Gwen Stacy" but he was just a friend)
- Has electricity powers, her spidey senses are also really in tune with the climate for some reason
- She has a staff (not pictured) she fights with, and also uses the environment to her favor, not the biggest fan of fighting hand to hand because (compared to other Spider-people) shes not as physically strong
- Has a few enemies and nemesis that she fights, Arlong being the most important/strong one
- She's actually quite happy to know other Spider-people, tho she was kinda shocked when she saw Usopp... It was awkard for both of them...
Usopp:
- The first Spider-man in his world, there are some things of his design I would change (mainly the sweatband, I would change the colors), but I'm actually quite happy with his design. Where does his nose go with the mask on? The same place Hobbie's hair goes, idk..
- In his universe, his best friend Nami died, Usopp failing to protect her
- Uncanny precision with his webfluids, also figths using the environment
- Unfortunately isn't a well received Spider-man 😔, gets complaints about destruction of property or how he's "pretty coward for a superhero"
- Really would rather focus on saving civilians from natural disasters, as he's also not as physically strong (compared to other Spider-people), but it seems every weirdo on the block decided they really need to beat this teenager up, so he also has some enemies...
- Super excited about meeting other Spider-people and finally being able to share life experiences with them, and then met Nami, or Spider-Woman Nami and it was awkard and uncomfortable (but they became besties, bittersweet moment)
Extra stuff from the rest of the East Blue Crew:
- Luffy's spiderman name is Spider-King and the rest of the Spidermans where like "I can't decide if that's the best or the worst name I've ever heard...". Well Usopp thinks it's kinda cool, and wishes he had chosen a cooler name for himself, might be too late for a new signature 🤔, Nami and Sanji think it's stupid, Zoro is undecided
- Sanji does not have a spider logo, even tho his name is Spider-man because he hates spiders
- Zoro is the second Spider-man from his universe, the first one being Kuina, she died and he took her place
- Sanji has fire inmunity
- Zoro carries like 5 extra pockets of web fluids cause he takes "longer routes" (he gets lost a lot)
#my art#one piece#nami#usopp#god usopp#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#black leg sanji#and i dont know what else to tag. i never got around to making the rest of the crew :(#because the next one was chopper and I had zero (0) ideas on what to do with him lmaoo#i guess he could be a reindeer bitten by a radioactive spider??? and he talks... But I also wanna make him human? 🤷♀️#just know if I do ever get to designing the rest robin will be the coolest#also will the rest of the ebc see the light of day? ehhh probably not? maybe zoro.. hes the least ugly 😔#luffy ended up too generic and sanji ended up too 'waiter' lmao#i didnt put much of namis backstory because hers is very similar to gwen in spiderverse and thats kinda boring but idk what to change 🤔#usopps backstory is his mom is still not dead but in a hospital and he lies to her saying he personally knows spiderman#but she knows 😔 and she worries#anyways. I dont have any plans with this au lmao. it was just for the drawings 😭 (that i did last year)#if anyone likes the idea and wants to expand or just run with it they have my full permission 🤷♀️#also wow. ignore my ugly ass handwriting dkdkkfk i promise it looks better nowadays (no one cares. no ones even looking at it. still)
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My issue is I do have feelings i want to make into art but I'm stupid and dont know how to filter them into beautiful visual symbolism and meaning also if I could do this u better believe I'd be making crazy fanart of thistle dungeon meshi
#talkys#i wish i cld do fanart but i cant do funny fandom sequential art or beautiful illustration with substance#this post wasn't made abt thistle they were an afterthought#my main thing is i usually have 0 ideas for art and when i do have emotions/experiences to draw from ideo where to start#to create something Meaningful#idk symbols idk composition#-> if i knew this it wld also be easier and more compelling to make art for media i enjoy#anyway ill always be repeating my mantra about not having an artist's brain. or creativity. sucks#i got stuck with the wrong art niche now im cursed to be a commission and Draw Character Standing There artist forever#i keep wanting SO BADLYYYYY to make a full art piece about [something specific that has been bubbling in my mind] but i cant#im not creative. i dont even know where to start. i dont even know how to compare it to something else. im stupid.
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i love reading about the uncanny because the whole thing of it is everything seems fine, but there's just something that's not quite right, and i love it.
example, once of my favorite characterizations of The Mayor from LMK in fics is in Sunbreak. He looks like a normal human, but his smile is a bit too wide, the skin around it a bit too white because of how strechted it is. He moves a bit too stifly to be considered normal and there's just something not quite right about the way the talks. Sure, he looks human, but there's so many little details about him that makes he look just a bit off. Just enough to make you unsure if he actually is a human or something else.
#stuff#i read sunbreak months ago and never finished it but the scene where he talks to nezha before they start fighting is one of my favorite one#also what i said is just how i remember him being like in the fic#and my personal idea of how he is#my second favorite characterization of his is in The Quest For The Skeleton Key#also need to finish reading that one#might do fanart for bothof these fics one day because i have a weird love for the mayor#or apreeciation i guess???#hes an interesting character to me#we are given bits and pieces of who he is but never the full picture#like we know that he has been loyal to LBD for centuries#but what is he exacly?#i personally headcannon that he once was human but slowly lost that part of himself when he started following LBD#but we dont have anythign set in stone about his bakcstory as far as i know#so he can be whatever we want him to be#i should write soemthing about my personal ideas about him one day#might do that idk#the mayor lmk#why do i always keep the more interesting stuff in the tags;-;
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god gives his coolest drawings to his most dedicated procastinators
#💞 god is calling#yes this is about the aforementioned towa drawing#sorry. im lazy and also sick#maybe. i think im sick#it will get done i swear i just have more drawing ideas#and dont feel like finishing the full piece yet
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FFxivWrite 2024
Day 15 - Kindness (Free Day)
“Haurchefant!”, A’viloh yelled as he noticed the Elezen at the lower end of the staircase while looking down into the entrance hall. Quickly he followed him downstairs. “Rael told me you were looking for me.”
“Right.”, he said with a bright smile. “And here you are! I have to admit when you weren’t home yet when I arrived back home from the Congregation earlier, I was a little worried something might have happened to you on your way home.”
“Oh! No, I’m fine! I just brought Chloé to the stables and walked a bit through the city.”, the Miqo’te explained. “I am sorry if I caused you to worry.”
“No, it’s alright. I should have known you could take care of yourself after this impressive show of strength today.”, Haurchefant chuckled.
“Well... then let me use this opportunity to thank you once again for such a wonderful gift and also for your support and cheering me on like this.”, A’viloh said and smiled at the Elezen. “I wouldn’t have been able to do this without your and Rael’s help.”
But Haurchefant shook his head. “I’m sure you would have anyway. And it of course goes without saying that I should support such a good friend as you are.”
“I don’t think it’s that obvious.”, the Miqo’te pondered. “At least I am not taking it for granted. Also that you spent so much time with me the last few weeks. First at Camp Dragonhead, when I wasn’t feeling well, and now here. Your kindness helped me a lot in this strange city.”
Haurchefant laughed slightly and A’viloh realised what he had said. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to insult your home of course. Ishgard is beautiful, as is this house. Very comfortable in fact… but still… it’s so unfamiliar for me. And some days I feel horribly lost and lonely.”
“That’s only understandable…”, Haurchefant offered reassuringly. “But I am glad to hear I could help you. I only wish for you to be happy. After everything you’ve done for all of us, you certainly deserve it.”
“I don’t know…”, A’viloh said and the sadness still lingered on his face. “I am not as special as all of you make it sound sometimes…”
“Of course you are!”, Haurchefant protested but A’viloh just shrugged. For a moment the Elezen seemed to think, then he exclaimed, “Oh! I know something that might cheer you up! Have you ever seen northern lights?”
“Have I ever seen what?”, A’viloh replied in confusion.
“Oh, splendid!”, Haurchefants beamed and asked a servant to fetch their coats. “I think you would love the northern lights, come one!”
Too puzzled to protest A’viloh followed him to the door, where a servants already handed the Elezen their coats. Quickly Haurchefant put on his own coat before helping A’viloh into his and then opened the door for him.
“Thank you.”, the Miqo’te whispered. “But where are we going?”
“Only to the pavilion.”, Haurchefant explained. “Don’t worry, you won’t freeze! There should be a fire. I can’t promise that we will see any northern lights though. It is rare for them to be visible from the city, but at least the sky is clear enough to see the stars tonight, so there is a chance...”
So far the night sky had mostly been hidden by clouds since they arrived here in Ishgard. At least the stars had never been so clear and shining as they were this night.
A’viloh found it strange how the stars over such a far-away and cold city could remind him of the night sky in the desert. The constellations were slightly different of course but the sea of glimmering lights was just as infinite and beautiful as he remembered.
There in fact was a small fire lit in a crozier inside the little pavilion at the side of Fortemps manor. The tiny building had been positioned so you could overlook some of the rooftops of Ishgard and also have a free view at the snowy mountains and the night sky above.
Since A’viloh had forgotten his gloves he stretched out his hands to warm them at the fire. Meanwhile Haurchefant stepped closer towards the lookout over the city and let his eyes scan the sky.
“There!”, he suddenly exclaimed and raised an arm to point at the sky. “It’s not much, but look, there in the distance!”
Curiously A’viloh looked up and followed with his gaze where the Elezen pointed. At first he couldn’t see anything but after a moment he caught sight of the faint, green glowing whirls in the sky. He gasped and hurried to Haurchefants side, leaning onto the banister of the pavilion to get a better look at this curious, beautiful appearance. For a few moment he just wordlessly started to the sky, his eyes shining brighter with wonder than the stars in the sky.
“This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen…”, he whispered.
“Truly…”, Haurchefant replied but it wasn’t the sky he looked at. “There it is again, that pretty smile of yours.”
Startled A’viloh turned his eyes to Haurchefant who looked back at him smiling fondly.
Carefully the Elezen rested one hand on A’viloh’s and although it surprised the Miqo’te he didn’t pull it away. He wasn’t sure what this was but it felt comfortable. So often he felt horribly lost and hopeless and lonely but not when Haurchefant was around. His courage and cheerfulness were so contagious.
Tentatively the Elezen raised his other hand to caress A’viloh’s cheek and A’viloh couldn’t help but lean into the warmth he provided.
“I like you, A’viloh.”, Haurchefant confessed quietly and a little hesitantly the Miqo’te replied. “I like you too…”
He didn’t know if he really meant it the same way as him. But maybe this was enough for now.
“I would like to kiss you…”, the Elezen whispered almost silently and although it wasn’t a question it sounded like one.
What does it matter anymore?, A’viloh asked himself and nodded barely visible. Maybe I can be happy after all…
But he knew it felt wrong even before Haurchefants had leant down to him, about to close the distance between them.
He wanted to try, he wished it felt different but —
Wordlessly he raised a hand to the Elezen’s lips and turned away. Why did this feel so wrong all of a sudden? Why couldn’t he just he happy?
“I’m so sorry”, he whispered. “I can’t…”
Carefully he glimpsed to Haurchefant who looked so confused.
“There is someone else…”, A’viloh explained without really knowing anymore who it was he was talking about. But did it really matter? The result was the same. “There was, I mean… He is gone…”
“I am sorry…”, Haurchefant offered but A’viloh shook his head.
“No, I should be sorry.”, he repeated and evaded Haurchefants eyes with a sad expression on his face. “I’ve given you false hope. But I thought I could…”
“It’s alright.”, Haurchefant said softly and instead took A’viloh’s hand and pressed a light kiss to his knuckles. ”You really don’t need to explain yourself to me. And no need for such a sad face. Wasn’t this a wonderful evening until now?”
“It was.”, A’viloh agreed and smiled as he noticed the Elezen was still smiling at him too.
“Do you want to tell me about it?”, Haurchefant asked but A’viloh didn’t want to ruin the mood a second time. “Maybe another time…”
The Elezen reassuringly put a hand on his shoulder.
“Fine. But you can always talk to me if you want. You are a friend, A’viloh, and you will always be, no matter what.”
A’viloh felt so silly for rejecting someone as kind as Haurchefant. He was such an unconditional, wonderful friend. He himself on the other hand…
“I just wished I could be such a good friend for others as you are…”, the Miqo’te admitted and looked to the ground.
This seemed to surprise Haurchefant. “What makes you think you are not?”
Sharply A’viloh laughed. “Oh, only their faces when they look at me. Lately all I do is cause them to worry. Have you looked at Rael recently? Ever since we fled, every time I talk to them, they seem more and more troubled and withdrawn and I cannot tell why…”
“Hmmm…”, Haurchefant tilted his head in thought. “Rael certainly seems like something is bothering them and indeed they were worried about you. But are you sure this change is your fault? Do you think I should try to talk to them instead?”
“If Rael doesn’t talk to me, I doubt they will talk to you…”, A’viloh explained with a sigh. “If I just could so something to cheer them up…”
“Why don’t you?”, Haurchefant asked. “Certainly there is something Rael likes that would make them happy?”
“Books?”, A’viloh offered but didn’t sound convinced.
“I think there’s more than enough in our library already…”
“Magic and potions? But what do I know about that?”
“Isn’t Rael already studying with the astrologians? But maybe they would like to talk about it… what else?”
“Nature? Yes! And animals!”
“Ah! That’s something we can work with!”, Haurchefant exclaimed. “Sit down! I’ll pull the fire a bit closer. I’m sure we can figure something out….”
#FFxivWrite2024#FFxivWrite#ffxiv writing#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#Aviloh Tia#Haha I have so much to say about this one...#Leave it to A'vi to turn someone down and then immediately dump his worries on him... XD#Luckily this is Haurchefant!#Btw I think I really toned down his whole flirtyness a bit since I dont remember the german translation being as extreme#and I also think A'vi would find him a bit creepy otherwise maybe XD#Idk maybe you think that a bit too ooc but the haurchefant thing was intended to have an effect on A'vi character development so I keep it!#development for the better in the end I think...maybe...I hope... :D#but its too soon for me to ramble about that#maybe I will really make a full textpost out of my notes regarding A'vi's feeling now for everybody's better understanding...#anyway!#Look at him! Why is he this cute???#How could I blame anyone for wanting to kiss this cute miqo??? XD#So now that you have read this piece can you see him mimicking haurchefants cheerfullness in the thing i wrote for the Stable prompt?#they made this plan and he is so excited about it and the idea that he might finally be able to give some of the support and kindness back#another random thought regarding Haurchefant: that height difference would be hilarious :D
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oh when did that happen...
#THANKS GANG! i dont know when or why this happened but im glad u like my silly once in a blue moon art posts#i need to completely redo my personal tags Ugh my blog is a mess#um I want to post more art eventually but A) i havent made a solid drawing in a month and B) ivr finished writing 2 fanfics in my life Total#and they were oneshots.... For Sam & Max. looks away#executive dysfunction sux Boo i wld lovr to be able to finish writing smth else literally Ever. i have so many cool fic and au ideas#and i get so embarrassed or straight up forget abt stuff i do finish. like... shivers. Freakyverse#aka an abandoned utmv project between a friend group that kinda fell apart but Hey what can u do#namedropping varyswap simply bc i want to have it somewhere public that it does exist and im not crazy when i inevitably lose the google doc#sighs wistfully at the dozens to hundreds of google doc wips i have#i have so much i want to share but i dont even have enough written down for a full chapter of smth...#i would be fine posting abandoned wips if there was Enough for me to be satisfied with#its all messy drafts and half finished plot lines and i barely ever end up completing an entire scene#and. i dont like posting unorganized ideas in public spaces. i guess. idk#screams into a pillow#edit i have 3 finished fanfics total. wrote that 3rd one when i was 9-10. it was a utmv s/i fic abt her and her friends dying. head in hands#shoves my su fic ideas doc behind my back#so like... kicks the floor. anyone else insanely attached to concepts where characters are split into Pieces of themselves etc because#yeah im that person and i also like time travel and undead characters so you can imagine what my su ideas doc looks like rn#sorry i forgot this was a post abt how i have 150 followers#I WLD DO SOMETHING SPECIAL BUT ALAS#yall arent getting shit. Sorry. havent even gotten to the simple doodle requests in my inbox yet#love u xo#rabbit squeaks
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I am rewatching episode 1015 and ace accidentally says luffy's dream but it might be the forreal one not the pirate king.... so yamato knows
#THATS WHY YAMATO IS SO INSPIRED!!!#i mean roger says he wants to go to raftel (not why) and they will become the greatest pirate grup... being pirate king is consequential#he wanted to go to raftel for other reasons... treasure but we dont know what that treasure is yet but its not gold so.....#ace and sabo laughing at luffy having his dream but then believing in him..... img retrospective what a gift#ace unknowingly saying good things about his father always hits.... girl help... the government propaganda worked ON HIS SON!!!!!#the fucking paralel between ace falling from luffy and yamato falling to the ground is devastating never getting over it#ace cheering on yamato when he starts to fight his father..... omg..... did i miss this...#still wondering what was the deal with toki... she was from 800 years ago!!!! and then oden knows when luffy will show up???#she knew about joyboy returning??? well if thats whats written on the poneglyphs (or something related to it) then it must have been#common knowledge back then??? thats why it spread until now as a legend?? but she being the only one from there actually knows the details??#i need to do my conspiracy corkboard fr when i finish midterms.... i will go full on insane i havent reached my full potential#god!!!!#this part with kinemon is so brutal....#the red rock attack in rememberanve of ace.... somebody sedate me...... GOD!! 10/10!!! MATSERPIECE#talking tag#watching one piece#the fact that he wants to be pirate king so he can accomplish his dream... all this time i have been thinking WHY he wants to be pirage king#and obv for his freedom but he is not selfish so.... for everyone's..... luffy...............#i have been circling this idea since i watched this episode and it doesnt evolve but its just so good.... luffy the man that you are.....#pulling threads#pulling strings
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everything sucks so hard rn idk
#mischa isnt eating again all while screaming because shes hungry and pulling every single piece of plastic out of my shelves#all my bags straps and backpacks have saliva stains from her#she will jump into shelves and pull out dvds to lick#and there's no other food i can try#my paycheck lacks 500 euro because i was sick and im still 200 euro in the red after getting my paycheck today#and tomorrow is the tooth surgery and ive been trying to call my dentist because he only applied for 2 of 3 teeth#at my insurance#and these 2 will be over 1k already after my insurance will pay their part#at least the sedation isnt as strong as i thought so i can go home by myself and dont have to rely on any unreliable people#after my mom accused me of making mischa have diarrhea on purpose because the food company changed the recipe and i gave her 1 bag#she hasnt talked to me and im definitely not going to be the one to start a conversation with her because im usually better off without her#so its nice that i dont have to ask her for her assistance tomorrow#just gonna do everything alone like usual#also work is so UUUGGGHHHHH and sucks so hard all my coworkers ignore what i say and just go to other people behind my back to do my job#im stress eating so much all my favorite clothes dont fit anymore and i hate looking in the mirror#i wanna go swimming but i just dont have the energy i just wanna curl up and dont have a body#also i have a comic idea written down for several months now and i wanna finish it for mothers day but i feel so discouraged#wehh#im also so stressed i clawed so much at my face its full of bloody spots i look so bad#every morning my neighbors i dont even share a wall with turn on their super broken washingmachine at 7 am#and it sounds so broken and its so loud it sounds like someone is drilling a hole into the wall for 40 -120 ?>#mins#i haven't been able to sleep properly for like a month#when i go into work everyone is just like oof you dont look good#thanks i know
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ive been nervous that my hylicfixation(hylics hyperfxiation) will disappear bc i havent been drawing it anywhere near as much as i did a few months ago
#ggwwuuuwuuwuwuuu#(said as if i havent been spending time on a gabv1el thing. time as in a few days)#i feel so guilty about it. Like i wanna draw hylic but i neeever have ideas#and if i do i dont remember them when i can finally draw the#them#I just wanna make a full piece im proud of aaahhhhhhh
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however.. it's not just blorbo thoughts that haunt me with that song... it's teacher thoughts too! 🤯
#for the past few months I've been going back and forth about whether i want to teach middle or high school#and this is nowhere near a deciding factor#BUT... consider the following with me.. performing one version as a mass piece at the beginning of the year with the full choir and then.#🤌🏻#at the end of the year doing the other with just the seniors because they have become the old man who will never again pass this way 😭#i feel like dickau's would be better as a mass piece because of it's more relaxed rhythms. the chords sound fuller than macdonald's which#would probably sound nicer with all hands on deck! and then macdonald's more rhythmically challenging arrangement would be cool for the#seniors 😁 but this is to my untrained and pretty rusty ear so 🕴️ we'll see how i feel when i go back to school#another idea I've entertained is giving each class a like. Challenge Song their freshman year and recording it‚ then reprising it their#senior year and letting them compare their performances to reflect their growth as musicians.. i think that would be really cool :]#i dont think i could conduct the bridge builder with that in mind though.. id start crying lol! but i think it is fundamental as a choir#student to watch your director cry in the middle of a song+ continue on as if nothing was happening#but anyhow idk man.. the idea of working with high schoolers to really build up their musicality and prepare them for the world is very#appealing to me but you can't be a musician without the foundations which i could establish in middle school#and foundations are very fun to teach as well!! but foundations can be taught in a beginning choir course or during summer camp#so 😩#the music i want to direct is all satb which suits high school better. but is it selfish to choose which way to go based on what music you#like? 🕴️🕴️ the contemplations man.... anyhow i have a lot more growing and learning and Studying to do before this will even matter#can't prepare kids for the world when I've scarcely explored it myself!#sriracha.txt
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