#I don't remember if it's stated for all of them

[rufous-bellied-thrush-in-top-hat]

I mean... Sure.

But I'd say that the piles of blood money health insurance companies make is a bigger factor. As is the lobbying industry.

And we shouldn't forget how useful keeping everyone a single crisis away from crippling poverty is to the ruling class.

Remember, neoliberalism is propped up by uncertainty and instability, in no small part because those are the circumstances where humans most reliably make the wrong choices.

Also, according to PEW research center, PUHC was favourable to >60% of Americans and >85% of democrats in 2020 (when those democrats won) and it still didn't happen.

In short, I don't think that individual ableist attitudes are the driving factor preventing PUHC in the states. I think systemic issues are the driving factor.

Having said all that, I agree. Americans are profoundly affected by a number of belief systems that lead them to the wrong conclusion that being good servants will endear them to their god and it will then protect them from all harm. It's comforting magical thinking in which nothing has to change and nothing can really hurt them and if it anything does it's for a good reason. And it most definitely is a major part of why that 35-40% of Americans are against PUHC.

I was going to post this as tags instead of composing an essay but they were bugging out so whatever.

part of the reason America still doesn’t have universal healthcare is that a large portion of the healthy population consciously or subconsciously believes that being sick is somehow a moral failing. someone randomly has a heart attack at age 30 and there are people like “well, you should have eaten better, exercised more and drank less” like a medical emergency is proof you were living a life of sloth and sin and it could never happen to them. 

[xiaowhore]

equivalent exchange.

DRAFT. this fic is incomplete, as i've stated in this post. this has been sitting in the dungeon for a while, and i have no plans to finish them, but i posted these drafts to not let them go to waste. it is up to you if you still want to read them regardless of their incompletion :) i will be writing my original ideas for the fic at the end so you guys will have an idea of what the fic was supposed to be like.

premise. when ayato stumbles upon a drafted resignation letter on your desk, he doubles his efforts to show you the perquisites of staying by his side.

he doesn't want to lose a competent subordinate. that's all there is to it.

note. what's wrong with secretary kim au but it's definitely not the same because i stopped watching at episode 5 and have no idea what happened. anyways i think we were all expecting a ceo!ayato x secretary!reader fic at some point so here it is. (couldn't keep this gender neutral for plot reasons, so feminine pronouns were used.)

Kamisato Ayato considers himself a good boss.

Or as far as things go, he's a decent one. He treats his employees well, takes them to expensive restaurants for company dinners, and discourages overtime so they can head off early for the night. He doesn't care much for formalities, and he gets along with his colleagues fairly well. He's never heard anyone talk behind his back or complain about his attitude at work, and there aren't any rumors spreading about him (if he turns a blind eye to the conspiratorial gossip guessing his relationship status).

But he does have minor faults. Like showing a more mischievous side when work hours are over. Getting Thoma dead drunk during dinners because his half-conscious inebriated talking is a form of amusement, or riling up Itto in drinking games just because it's funny. Then he leaves Sara to clean up the mess for him, since Yae seems to enjoy the comedy sketch as thoroughly as he does and probably won't lift a finger to help even if he asked her to.

As his assistant, you're prone to falling victim to his shenanigans, silly stunts that coax out aggravated eye rolls and sighs of exasperation. Years of experience eventually shaped you up to be entirely immune to April Fools' pranks.

He's in the middle of planning another one when he spots a letter of resignation on your desk.

At first, he thinks it's your rebellious phase arriving a decade late. He always found it odd how you never retaliated against his tricks, and this may just be the long-awaited April Fools' prank of vengeance. If it is, it's particularly mean of you—Ayato does have feelings, you know? Even he would feel hurt if you told him you wanted to leave! You shouldn't take this kind of thing lightly!

Then he remembers you aren't the type to make jokes, April Fools' or otherwise, and it's that moment when he feels (proper) fear.

“[Name] wants to resign?!”

Ayato makes a zipping motion and Thoma's shrieks immediately die down, but the disbelief on his face has yet to wane. His brows scrunch together, brain hard at work in processing this piece of information, though it seems to short-circuit in utter confusion from the sudden blow.

Scandalized, Thoma lowers his head and levels his voice to a hushed whisper, “Are you sure you saw it correctly?”

“I have able eyes. Unfortunately, my optometrist confirmed my perfect vision and assured I saw it just fine.” Woe is he.

“Get them checked again.”

“No matter how much I check, it won't change the results, Thoma.”

“We don't know that for sure, sir!”

“Trust me,” Ayato deadpans, looking off into the distance, “I checked with him thrice.”

Defeated, Thoma leans back to his chair, crossing his arms while deep in thought. “You saw the letter, but she didn't turn it in, did she?”

“She didn't. No e-mail, either.” Ayato taps the table in a mindless rhythm, expression stern but the shape of his lips almost resembling a pout. “Do you have any idea why she'd want to resign?”

Thoma rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Is that a genuine question, sir?”

Ayato's head snaps back to look at his companion. “Why wouldn't it be?”

“...Everyone in the office knows you... tease her for your own amusement.”

“It's my way of showing affection.” The corners of his lips curl up, stretching to a twisted smile as he rests his cheek on his palm. “Isn't she just so adorable when she gets angry?”

“You really do have a rotten personality.”

Ayato waves his hand in a noncommittal response. “We're straying off topic. What should we do next?”

Thoma hums, closed fist beneath his chin. “Since she hasn't turned in the letter yet, that means she must be hesitating. For what reason, we don't know, but it's keeping her here. So before she makes up her mind, we should dissuade her from quitting no matter what.”

Ayato laces his fingers together, brow in an inquisitive arch. “And we do that by?”

Green eyes sparkle with tenacity, clashing with blue irises twinkling in intrigue. “We bribe her, sir. It's time to show off your good points.”

--

“If a woman quits her job, what do you think her reasons could be?”

Ayaka blinks owlishly at her brother, taken aback by the abrupt question. It's a sudden thing to ask, especially odd given how their conversation hasn't led to that topic at all. “Did someone resign? I haven't heard anything of the sort, though.”

Ayato shakes his head, stirring the boba tea in his hands. “It's a hypothetical.”

Which means it's real.

Ah, whatever. At least he didn't go for the “my friend...” excuse.

Ayaka warily cuts a portion of her cake, scrutinizing each microexpression flashing on Ayato's face. It's one of their weekly lunch meetings, squeezed between hectic schedules, and they more or less have a silent agreement to avoid discussions involving work if they could help it. But this time, he brought it up himself.

How peculiar.

“Perhaps she wants to change workplaces? If she's exemplary, she might have been offered a better position or higher pay.”

Ayato nearly scoffs at the suggestion. The company, old-fashioned as it is, can only be inherited by a direct line of descendants. Outsiders can only go so far, and being the secretary for the chief executive officer isn't bad at all. Last time he checked, he's been paying you generously as well—how many figures was it? Six?

“Oh!” Ayaka exclaims, holding up a finger as she seems to have figured out something. “Or maybe she wants to settle down and get married? If her work is keeping her occupied, she'll most likely take time off to find a husband.”

Ayato proceeds to choke on a tapioca pearl.

“Or she got married and wants to be a housewife-”

“That's quite enough, Ayaka.”

Ayato would rather believe the Earth is flat.

--

If Ayato were any less desperate, perhaps he would have rationalized that putting together “give her what she wants to make her stay” and “she wants to get married” is a bad, bad idea.

Unfortunately for him, he is grasping at straws, so it leaves him no choice. Yes. Definitely. There is no other option than this, obviously.

(He does not delve deeper into the reason why he doesn't want you to leave, nor does he dwell any longer on why he was so quick to think he was fine with getting married if it was to you.)

“Don’t you want to get married soon, Ms. [Surname]?”

To clarify, Ayato does not spy on other people's conversations for a hobby, but he's always had impeccable timing. It comes with the job.

He stands by the door, reaching for the doorknob to the break room, but the mention of your name forces him to a halt.

“Why are you asking me that...?” You awkwardly dodge the question, sipping on your coffee. “I suppose I am at that age, though.”

“So you do want to!” The squeal rings with a note of glee, a stark contrast to Ayato's gradually dimming mood. “Wouldn't it be nice to marry a good man? I'm sure even you have thought of it at some point! Are you seeing anyone, then? Anyone you can imagine yourself marrying?”

“No, not yet.”

Before Ayato can even heave a relieved sigh, you follow with, “But my mother is making me go on dates to see people. Said if I didn't bring home a man soon, she'd come all this way to drag me back by my ear and introduce me to her friend's son.”

“Ah, I get that...” Your friend replies emphatically, nodding. “But those kind of meetings hardly go well. And you can't exactly tell your mother's friend you don't find her son attractive, right?”

“Why not just marry Mr. Kamisato, then?” Another one pipes up, to which Ayato gives a mental salute of appreciation. “You spend most of your time together. If you're not married to your job, then you're practically married to him.”

A cackle sends his heart dropping to his stomach.

“Not a chance.”

Can you at least expound why?!

“Huh? Why not? I mean, Mr. Kamisato is on another realm of existence and I can never hope to be on the same level as him, but you look good together!”

Your face pinches to a tight frown. “Look good together? In what way?”

“When you stand side by side, it just looks... right. And like I've mentioned earlier, you spend all your time with him. Why not seal the deal?”

“Mr. Kamisato is reliable, and if you marry him, you're set for life. He's handsome too, and we've all seen his muscles at our company sports day a few months ago!”

“I've never been so thankful for team-building events. Hallelujah.”

Ayato's face burns in embarrassment hearing the dreamy sighs. Even if they think there isn't anyone else listening on them (which is false), shouldn't they exert some restraint at work?

“Please don't lust over my boss,” you assert sternly, voice ice cold. “And we have a strictly professional relationship. So don't get any weird ideas from here on out, alright?”

“Fine. Tell me that again when I'm invited at your wedding, I dare you.”

“I said-”

They wave off your vehement protests at the statement. “Then if you're not into Mr. Kamisato, what do you plan to do?”

Ayato perks up, straining his ears in rapt attention.

“...I'm going on a date this weekend,” you sigh, rubbing circles on your temples. “I'll let you know how it goes.”

Oh no.

--

“-Dinner was nice. We didn't expect the rain shower, but he ran to the convenience store across the street to buy an umbrella because he didn't want me to get wet on the way to the car. He said it would be a waste if my hair got ruined since I-”

Slurp.

“...Styled it for the occasion. Then he drove me home. I found out we liked the same band from the music he played, and we agreed to-”

Sluuurp.

“-Go to their upcoming concert together. Then we somehow also like the same novel that's getting a movie adaption soon, so we also promised to see it-”

Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuurp.

“Could you please refrain from making noise when eating, sir?”

Ayato decidedly does not comply and only slurps his boba tea harder, nearly choking on a tapioca pearl yet again.

As always, you learn to ignore him.

“Concert... and a movie. I'm not sure about the concert, but the film you're talking about is the one coming out in the next two months, right?” Thoma confirms, sweating when Ayato's expression turns visibly grim. “You plan to see him for that long...?”

“Even if dating doesn't work out, we can always become friends, can't we?” You shrug, taking a bite out of your sandwich. “He seems like a nice guy. We get along really well, considering we've only met once. I ended up agreeing to a second date-”

The passive-aggressive slurping persists for the following afternoon.

--

“I've been meaning to ask for a while,” Thoma treads carefully, noticing Ayato's rapid-fire typing—no, striking—on the keyboard, “Ms. [Surname] is good at her job, but you seem really... eager to make her stay, sir.”

Ayato's fingers halt in their movement, and he takes a second to flash his business smile. “Of course. She's a valuable asset, and I'd be foolish to let her go.”

“Yes, I'm well aware, but...” Thoma scratches his cheek, looking off to the side. “You didn't go to such lengths when your former assistants resigned from their post. Or, uh... you fired most of them.”

“Yes,” Ayato simply agrees, still smiling, “she's competent. You don't find anyone like her easily, so it's only natural I'd want her to stay.”

“What do you mean by 'anyone like her,' sir?”

Thoma is awfully talkative today. Ayato might need to feed him something spicy to shut him up.

“Ms. [Surname] is special.” The words smoothly leave his lips. “Does anyone else have the meetings and company events scheduled for the next month memorized? She's the only one I can count on for work matters.”

Thoma's shoulders slump. “Okay, let me get straight to the point. Do you-”

“Mr. Kamisato?”

Thoma nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound of your voice, accompanied by the clack of your heels.

“What is it?” The cold smile on his face finally melts to something more genuine, softer around the edges and looking especially radiant. It's welcoming, like your arrival counts as a joyous occasion, and he is exponentially more attentive compared to the way he lent Thoma half his ear (the other preoccupied with a phone call, which he swiftly ends the moment you walk in).

“I came to deliver some files from Ms. Miko... did I interrupt something?” You gesture to Thoma standing idly by the side, dumbfounded from Ayato's inconceivable behavior.

“Not at all. Is there anything else?” Ayato accepts the documents, noticing your hesitance to leave.

“Ah, yes, I will be asking for time off tomorrow.”

That's... rare?

But it's not a hard request. Ayato's own schedule is blank for the most part, since the latest project wrapped up not too long ago, and the workload is lighter than usual. Missing one work day won't do any harm.

“It's fine, but could I ask why?”

You fidget, tentative as you reply, “I was invited... for a trip on a cruise. He insisted I come since his friend bailed on him and the tickets would go to waste.”

The warmth in his eyes freezes over.

“The tickets would go to waste...” Ayato repeats under his breath, mockingly cruel. The tone flies past your head but it hits Thoma full-force, making him sweat profusely.

Distasteful. An utter disgrace of a man. The magnitude of his ignorance is so awe-inspiring, I have to applaud. I must give credit where it is due, and the foolishness of this clown is truly impressive. “The tickets will go to waste,” he says? His money must worth more to him than his dignity. Inviting Ms. [Surname] to a date on a workday with no regard for her schedule is one thing, but making her out to be an afterthought as a substitute for his original travel partner is another. How shameful. This is no way to treat a lady. If Ayaka were to be with a man of his caliber, I would never allow it.

But what he says outloud is of course, “I see. I hope you have fun, then.”

--

Corporate events are, for the most part, adequately entertaining.

Preparing for it is not.

But the worst part isn't even brainstorming themes, or finding an appropriate venue, or planning the logistics, or writing the guest list.

It's choosing what to wear.

Actually, the cause for Ayato's headache isn't even what attire he'll go with. It's yours.

“That looks wonderful,” Yae praises, looking at the picture on your phone. It displays a silver necklace, a tear drop topaz encased in a diamond twist. It pairs well with the dress you bought with Ayaka last week, an elegant fit that accentuated your curves.

However.

“He chose that for you, didn't he?”

The stoic line of Ayato's mouth twitches and his eyes can't help but sweep over your screen, scrutinizing each grainy pixel.

Though he has plenty of insults prepared at his arsenal, he can't find anything to nitpick about. Damn it. It's a good choice.

“You'll look stunning,” Kokomi assures good-naturedly, smiling in delight. Ayato does not doubt that will be the case, but he's sure he would be in a foul mood the entire night if he were to see you adorning it.

He has already retrieved his coffee from the break room so he excuses himself to his office, long strides that lead him out of earshot.

As a result, he doesn't hear the following conversation.

“Why this, though?” Kokomi asks, looking closely at the accessory. “It's a simple design. Doesn't look like something a man would pick from the rest.”

You shake your head. “I just told him I wanted something blue, and I couldn't choose myself because there were too many that caught my eye...”

“Blue?” She echoes, a simple curiosity. “Why blue?”

“...It's a pretty color.”

--

It is an actual coincidence that Ayato runs into you in the middle of shopping.

You're hunched over a display stand showcasing a variety of earrings, deep in thought as you observe each one. You're doing that thing where you scrunch your nose in concentration, a habit Ayato doesn't think you even realize you have.

“Fancy meeting you here, Ms. [Surname].”

(He wonders what face you would've made if he said “You go here often?” instead. Probably some degree of disgust.)

You blink, correcting your posture and nodding in greeting. You don't look particularly thrilled to see him, but at least you're unbothered by the prospect of seeing your boss on a free day. “You're here to shop too, Mr. Kamisato?”

Ayato smiles amicably. “I am. Were you planning to buy earrings?”

“Yes, but...” Your gaze returns to the display, your own smile faltering. “It is a bit difficult to choose.”

He walks over, scanning the variety up and down. “Is it really? You only need to choose a pair that matches your necklace, right?” He focuses on shades of silver, bypassing the vibrant colors of reds and pinks. Not even fifteen seconds later, he picks out a card and holds it out next to your ear. “This one looks nice on you.”

“Huh? Really?” Perhaps surprised by his swiftness, it takes you a moment to react accordingly. You take the card from his hands and flip it over, eyes widening by a fraction. “Oh. It is rather pretty.” Then they widen further as big as saucers. “I can't say the same for the price tag, though.”

“Hm? What price tag?”

He plucks the earrings from your hands, walks to the counter, and pays for it without a second thought.

“M-Mr. Kamisato?”

“Pull up your hair.”

“Eh? Oh, okay.”

You're so caught off guard that you unwittingly do as he says, tucking your hair back obediently and still processing the last two minutes.

His fingers tug at your ear, warmth bleeding to your skin, and by the time you return to reality, he's already putting the earrings on you.

STORY FLOW.

ok i lied i actually can't remember shit about this fic so i will be making up stuff as i go lol

what i do remember clearly is that the resignation notice that ayato found on your desk is years old. you meant to submit it way, way back when ayato was tougher on you, and you weren't as well-adjusted as you are now to the job yet. as stated in the fic, being ayato's secretary is no easy task—he'd fired countless people he thought was incompetent.

you fought a number of times, and you didn't know if you could keep up working for a man you thought was simply incompatible with you (in terms of being colleagues/partners).

but over time, you learned to work together. ayato acknowledged your efforts and hard work, and you knew ayato had been trying to give you less jobs to reduce your workload, but you were going to prove that hou could handle it.

what truly made you appreciate ayato more was when you got stranded at the train station. you dealt with a far company they collaborated with, but work ended later than expected, and you'd missed the last train home. taxis were an option, but youd have to go through several of them to get back. right when you were thinking of checking into a hotel, ayato informed you he was already on his way and drove a couple of hours to get where you were to bring you home.

time continued to pass, and that brings us back to the present. you were on the process of cleaning up your desk and left the old resignation notice out in the open by accident, which led to ayato seeing it.

it is very apparent to the others that you two like each other, but the involved parties themselves are unaware of it. you currently aren't eager to get married, but you were trying to meet people so your parents would stop bugging you about still being single.

anyway, ayato bought those earrings for you. timeskip to the corporate event. you unconsciously picked a blue motif for your outfit because it reminds you of ayato.

when you get there, surprise, surprise. the man you were meeting, kazuha is a bigwig, heir to some other corporation. he actually owned that cruise he invited you to and pretended he didn't because you might be intimidated. ayato didn't think the kazuha he knew and the kazuha you knew were the same person, and now the advantage he had over him was ruled out (i.e being rich). (actually while i was rereading i was surprised i didn't mention that it was kazuha...? istg i was imagining him the whole time i wrote about him)

anyhow, as it became later in the night, ayato wanted to get you home before kazuha could offer to drive you back or worse, spend the night with him. ayato acted drunk so you'd tend to him and accompany him home while his driver was in charge of taking you to his apartment. as you were nagging at him, he compared your interactions with him to yours and kazuha's. you were certainly nicer to that man. smiled at him a lot more, too. did you really like him that much?

if you did, could he let you go?

he was ashamed that he couldn't answer it right away. as if he had any right to whatever you do.

you carried him to bed when you got to his apartment, but when you were preparing to leave, he hugged you from behind. do you like that man? why do you want to leave me? why can't it be me? ayato was just pretending to be drunk, but he felt dizzy now, soaked in your scent. he said things that he wasn't supposed to. things that he couldn't take back. things that would change your relationship forever.

slowly, you took away the hands wrapped around your waist. ayato figured that was a message of rejection.

but then you pushed him back down on the bed and you straddled his lap. his mind was silent for but a few seconds before he started screaming mentally.

i've always wanted you, but i knew it was impossible. you have a fiancee. i'm an ordinary worker. your family won't accept me. ayato's mind was in a daze because your face was so close to his, and all he could see was the red, glossy shade on your lips, but he managed to hear those few sentences.

it doesn't matter. nothing else matters. i can't marry if it's not you. if you accept me, i swear i'll make you happy.

from here on, it could be a happy, fluffy ending where turns out, you were tipsy so you were more honest with him and you fell asleep in the middle of kissing so he took it upon himself to change your dress into something more comfortable and end the night with a forehead kiss...

...or you could continue what you were doing and the first thing ayato takes off is the damned necklace so he could replace it with a smattering of hickeys. your choice ^^

[accio-victuuri]

Xiao Zhan Portrait Magazine Interview 📝

🎤: xiao zhan, we actually filmed a cover back then in 2019, and then in interview video, we also filmed a five year video. the last sentence in that video is what do you expect xiao zhan to look like in the next five years. five years have passed now, i want to know what kind of person xiao zhan has become.

XZ: just now, during the filming process they showed me an interview from five years ago and then when i saw the ending — i think it's amazing. at that time five years felt like a long time, at that time i thought i didn't know where i would be in five years, and then what i will become. now five years have passed in the blink of an eye, i feel like something has changed but it also feel like nothing has changed. it seems like everything has undergone an subtle changes but in reality it seems that nothing has changed. it's a wonderful feeling. i can't use words nor statements such as "change" and "unchanged" and then describe it.

🎤: in those five years there will be a lot of growth. i actually want to know what do you think is your biggest growth.

XZ: i feel calm and composed. i feel like i have became a little more self-reflective.

🎤: compared to oneself — what does this self refer to?

XZ: because i have always believed in the words "self" and "freedom" i think those are very neutral word. my former self words is that we will consider all aspects to visual. as i mentioned in my previous interview — i am very concerned about how other perceive me, i care a lot about others' opinions about me. but perhaps over the past five years we have walked slowly along the way so now i think it's more about asking oneself, and then based on one's own opinions

🎤: you will have a persistence, so to be honest whether it's five years or something else do you think you have something firm that it won't change from you?

XZ: of course there will be.

🎤: what is it?

XZ: i remember i said this before — i remember a friend of mine told me "you may not know what you want, but you must know what you don't want" i think this has never changed.

🎤: what do you not want?

XZ: there are many things i don't want.

🎤: can you share with me an example?

XZ: for example — something that is luxurious but uncomfortable, or something that i feel not suitable for me.

🎤: i see, because i actually meet you now there are also quite a few changes. one of them is starting to exercise now right

XZ: yes!

🎤: and over the five years i actually want to know if have there been any changes in the control of your own body or some changes perception of body?

XZ: actually i have been working out all along. for the past exercise i may have been more pursuit to be a little thinner so there are used to be a lot of aerobic work done before, but now it's actually more about stability, to be more calm, so more importantly i did some strength training.

🎤: i feel that sometimes the passage of time also means that we grow up or even get older, so sometimes you may suddenly realize that your control over your body or your own experiences are little different from before.

XZ: just like when i just watched the interview video from five years ago then in the middle of conversation i just saw myself in the mirror i feel like it's an improved version from the past then now. is it a widened version or narrowed version. i can't say for sure. i don't know where are the subtle changes have occurred — maybe it's about appearance, then it could be the body shape or it may be a state. in every aspect i feel the person in the mirror is a plus version of myself that i just saw in the video. then if we talk about mentality, i think there have been many changes.

🎤:what you say — maybe five years about the body you just mentioned. i want to know if you have had a moment of spiritual freedom in the past five years.

XZ: the most spiritual freedom moment?

🎤: yes, the most spiritual freedom moment.

XZ: actually i feel that i have been relatively free and relaxed for a period of time. it was during joining the filming crew. on the contrary when i was on the set. i don't think it's like a job but more like creating a work — creating a character, the process of creating a character so i am actually very invested.

🎤: so you may feel that speaking of a relative freedom it's when you completely immersed yourself in this character. is it to some extent of isolation from real life. let's said like that?

XZ: it can be said like that.

🎤: i actually remember the reason why you referred to five years as it back then it's because from an ordinary person no matter what or rather entering the entertainment industry as a non actor and then during 2015 and now 5 years have passed. you have actually been in the entertainment industry for 10 years. will there be any changes in the perception of the entertainment industry.

XZ: woah it's been 10 years?

🎤: we can have a 5 years term of 15 days which is 10 years.

XZ: what changes have occurred? — i don't think there has been any change. there hasn't been any change. i think it's relatively achievable, their scope is relatively simple…yes relative simple.

🎤: do you remember the last time i asked you a question? if you are not an actor what would you do. do you remember your answer?

XZ: it's to open a bakery.

🎤: yes. be a baker. i also want to ask this question now. if one day you don't work as an actor anymore what could be your next career? or what do you want to do?

XZ: perhaps…there will still be to opening a bakery. although there may be many practical problems encountered but i still really want to (open a bakery) because i think it's a very happy thing.

🎤: and if we talk about now. does 33 years old xiao zhan have something special? for example the so-called moment of collapse? or it could be a regretful breakdown of the realm.

XZ: i think it might be when acting there are really…i don't think it can be considered a breakdown but i think it's the hurdle. you may not be able to step over but you and i will try every possible way.

🎤: you want to do it better.

XZ: yes, when encountering some obstacles during acting it may make me feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment like — "why can't i do it…" when that hurdle remained insurmountable, it's something that makes me feel a little overwhelmed.

🎤: is there a so-called moment of compromise.

XZ: i don't think it can be considered a compromise right? but i'll do as much as possible. probably the final result may not have been achieved by you today. perhaps it will be resolved by looking back at the present after a few days.

🎤: actually i think something speaking of adults is actually a process of constantly recognizing boundaries as you just said, actually sometimes the so-called compromise is also a process of recognizing the boundaries. do you have that feeling of like you suddenly realized that in all aspects you actually has boundaries there?

XZ: of course i think this can be considered a rule. you can understand it this way.

🎤: if we actually said that five years have passed what will the next xiao zhan look like? have you ever thought about what kind of xiao zhan you hope to be in five years? at that time you will be 38 years old.

XZ: what do i hope xiao zhan looks like? i hope he can have a great time.

🎤: that’s all? is there or what kind of actor will he become?

XZ: no no no…i don't hope much…i just want him to be happy, to have a very happy life.

🎤: do you still dream frequently now? what was your most recent dream?

XZ: i haven’t had a dream for a long time.

🎤: do you often suffer from insomnia?

XZ:: there might be just a little time to sleep, there is bit of difficulty.

🎤: because we often say everyone actually has their own memory building i want to know in your memory — is there a moment that leave you with a recurring memory or could it been repeatedly reminded to you.

XZ:: the last time i dreamed was probably about the place where i used to live when i was a child. it's an old residential building and then our house is on the fifth floor. i remember what the aisle looked like.

🎤: seems to have gone back again

XZ: yes, and then it's really amazing, the structure of the room, and then the people. my parents and grandparents both. everyone is still stuck in that time because it was when i was still a child.

🎤: have you ever wondered why you keep dreaming about that repeatedly?

XZ: this might feel strange but maybe to me it's bit like a safe house. yes, a safe house. this kind of existence may occur when i feel tired or unhappy. maybe, i just want to go back.

🎤: your case reminds me of my previous interview with zhu deyong. he is a taiwanese cartoonist — he said that every time he felt unsafe he will go back to his childhood house in his mind, and he will go patrol room by room then use his memory to build the entire house. he can even see the most delicate table, the chair, and all the vivid memories.

XZ: i was like this in my dream. the kitchen at home, then the restroom, the living room, the two bedrooms, the structural cabinets of the balcony, at the time even the exhaust fan that never replaced. it's either a range hood or a wonderful one — all the details are clear and precise.

🎤: will that make you feel at ease?

XZ: i don't know either but instead of getting up…after waking up there will be a little feeling of loss and melancholy.

🎤: your childhood was particularly happy.

XZ:: my childhood…it's very happy.

🎤: so to some extent that’s also a way for you to nourish yourself.

XZ: yes

🎤: because i know you were actually a designer before and then you can also draw. so do you sometimes draw things about it? for example are you still drawing now? can you draw your childhood house?

XZ: no..but you reminded me. i can give it a try

🎤: it's because i feel like you will rebuilding your memories, some kind of similarity. it is also a very good feedback for yourself.

XZ: it's very good.

🎤: actually it's been five years to some extent…family members also aging. do you have this feeling? like i feel like my parents are getting older?

XZ: i do. but every time i try to stir up emotions then do it with them and message them they will immediately jump out and say "i'm playing ball now" so i don't have time to tell them otherwise my mom and i are out on a road trip again. she will says just be good to yourself, you will feel better okay? they are…very happy.

🎤: they are doing well, so they actually don't have the anxiety of aging at all.

XZ: they are full of power. so i think they are the object of my learning.

🎤: have you asked them why do you think they have no such anxiety at all? like they should think of it.

XZ: i have no idea. so i envy them very much. i really envy them. i learn from them this mentality.

🎤: we just asked our photographer. he has had a lot of contact with you in the five past years he says he will feel your current sense of security or rather your sense of relaxation is gradually increasing especially this year. so i don't know yet if it's a cue do you think there will be something this year that will make you suddenly feel this kind of openness or relaxation?

XZ: i think it’s very subtle because i believe life is not a novel not a movie, not a script. i didn't have a suddenly awakening point right? i think it't a long process, it’s a gradual accumulation then slowly and slowly some changes occurred. so you are asked me when it all started at which moment which i don't really know. but i can only feel like i'm here right now, i don't care that much, maybe it will be better.

🎤: i remember asking you back then 'are you smiling when you're happy' you said "i can't say i'm happy but i'm lucky”

XZ: i also feel very happy now, i am very lucky now

🎤: if you say so then i was also very happy it was a perfect five years. i think if you say so are lucky and happy in five years this show you have actually gone very far in the past five years. how to say this..you may not always gone so smoothly but you really is. so it's better to it to go smoothly. i hope the next five years will be smoother.

XZ: yes, just like what i do every year. people will ask me what kind of blessings do you have for yourself in the new year or give it to someone who likes you? i will says "safe and smooth" people may think that being smooth and healthy is so simple but let's think of it carefully it's not that simple at all. it's again a wish, a blessings.

🎤: so if you want to say something to everyone in 2025…

XZ: it still the same sentence "safe and smooth" i think it's safe and smooth for now then other will come follow naturally.

🎤: alright that's all for now. i have no other questions left. i am looking forward to the next five years with you.

XZ: thank you

[chibinasuu2]

One of my favorite ZoSan lore has got to be how their rivalry actually only started in Little Garden.

It wasn't "hate-at-first-sight" for them – believe it or not, Zoro and Sanji were quite amicable when they first met!

Exhibit A: them chilling together at the party post-Arlong Park

Exhibit B: Zoro giving Sanji an "order" at Loguetown and he just said "Got it!!" without a single name-calling or complaint?? Unheard of nowadays.

They had some other civil conversations around that time as well – no bickering in sight!

[spoilers for Little Garden below the cut]

This. This page right here is where everything started.

Ever since that first "contest", they became the ever-bickering, always-head-to-head Zoro and Sanji that we all know and love.

Their rivalry has become such a staple in all of their interactions – a force of habit, a routine, the status quo – and it has been going on for sooo long that I doubt Zoro and Sanji themselves even remember what started it anymore...

Just like another pair of rivals we know (whose 100-year rivalry also started with an argument over who caught the bigger prey).

This obvious Zoro/Sanji–Dorry/Brogy parallel has always been so interesting to me, especially since Dorry and Brogy were very explicitly presented as equals.

Those two giants had had a whopping 73,466 battles by the time the Straw Hats reached Little Garden, and not a single instance had one ever won over the other.

They were equal in strength, and even prior to their feud, they were in equal positions as co-captains of the Giant Warrior Pirates.

This is exactly the dynamic that Oda assigned Zoro and Sanji, presenting them in equal positions as the Wings of the Future Pirate King (probably also why Oda never explicitly stated that Zoro is First Mate)

Zoro and Sanji are also clearly very strong in their own rights, each with their unique abilities and skillsets. I truly believe a full-power battle between them would end up exactly like Dorry and Brogy's: a never-ending duel between two equally matched fighters.

TL;DR – I don't care what powerscalers say, Zoro and Sanji are equals in every sense of the word, period.

[spoilers for Wano and end of Egghead below]

Also, now that Dorry and Brogy are back in the picture, I really hope that Oda would circle around to this rivalry parallel in Elbaf.

I think it would be interesting to see further development in Zoro and Sanji's dynamics that goes beyond "rivals-that-actually-really-care-for-each-other-but-their-egos-are-too-big-to-show-it".

The Death Pact in Wano gave us probably the deepest glimpse so far into the nature of their relationship, showing us, clear as day, the incredible bond between them and just how far their trust for each other goes.

I mean, Dorry and Brogy ended up reconciling at the end of Little Garden and became best buddies again after fighting for one hundred years, so who knows what Oda has planned for ZoSan? I, for one, am really excited to see what he has in store for them in the Final Saga.

[kitab00m101]

Holy- HOW IS THIS SO TRAUMATIZING (OP I LOVE YOU FOR THIS)

Adding onto some of them with headcanons of my own (TW selfharm-death-mental illness-blood❗️)-

Scott's skin bubbling and shifting constantly since he hasn't learned to control it yet. Grabbing at his own neck, almost strangling himself as he tries to press the gills shut. He can't think clearly, because he's never getting enough oxygen, even if he ever were to see water, he's damaged his gills so severely that he'll never properly breathe again, like so many people take for granted.

Not many people know this, but Jimmy is covered in bruises. When invisible, he trips over himself, bumps into things, as well as other people bumping into him. He's got a handful of bruises here and there because of that, but that's not why every inch of his arms and legs are black and blue. The panic he felt the first time he turned never really went away. Sometimes he'll wake up invisible, and for moments will forget about his ability. Sometimes, when he's in a really bad state, he'll hurt himself. He'll grab his arms tightly for hours on end, just reassure that they are actually there. His friends just assume that the bad people are rougher with Jimmy because he's usually more "rambunctious".

Imagine Martyn being put in isolation, with sound proof barriers when he gets his ability because the facility doesn't want him hearing things he shouldn't. He goes mad in. There are chips in his ears from him clawing at them. He's missing tufts of his hair. He used to scream so much when he first got his power, to the point where now his voice is permanently broken and wheezy. He used to hope that if he was loud enough, desperate enough, his cries could overpower All. That. Noise.

Imagine Ren subconsciously shifting to have certain features from Martyn, creeping out all their other friends, but they never tell him that. They know that he's been broken ever since they took Martyn away from him. As the months go on, Ren starts to forget his own features- but it doesn't matter. All he has to do is remember Martyn. His hair, his eyes, his smile. Ren doesn't have a smile of his own anymore, because the last time he smiled was at Martyn. He smiled back.

Scar finding out his power, and jokingly shadow boxing, saying how he's gonna take down any guard who messes with him or his friends- Then someone comes up behind him, and mid-punch he turns around, his fist making contact with Mumbo's shoulder. Scar freezes, but it's too late. Mumbo flies meters away, thrown to the ground. His arm is barely even connected to his body, there's blood pouring out of his mouth. Scar rushes to his friend's side, and goes pale at the sight of the man's flattened ribcage.

Later on, Cleo shoving the mindless corpses of Skizz and Mumbo around, acting like she could bully them into being normal again. Through the hallways, you can sometimes hear her crying- "Look at me- look at me Skizz!" "NO, No, no, no- Mumbo, I can fix you- I promise, just please lift up your head" "you're gonna be okay- you can still be with us, you don't have to go..."

The first time BigB summons a creaking, he's being escorted by a guard through a hall. He hears the footsteps coming up to them, and meets the creature’s eyes. The guard opens fire, only causing bullets to ricochet off its bark, while BigB stands there, never pulling his eyes from the creaking monster. He blinks for a millisecond, turning to run, and that's when he heard the guard's final breath. BigB watched as the branch through the man's chest lowered him to the ground. The creaking just kept looking at BigB, and it took him ages too long to realize that it would hurt everyone around but him.

Imagine Gem looking over her shoulder, and seeing Mumbo and Skizz for the first time in... too long. Shutting her eyes and contuining to walk. Calling herself crazy as tears start to form, until she feels a hand on her shoulder. She looks back and sees her own body, crumbled to the ground. When she uses her powers, her eyes seem to disappear, almost like Grian's black, void like eyes. She spends hours of her day crying into Skizz's arms while Mumbo tries his very hardest to give her words of comfort.

Tango's heart is always beating too fast, to the point where it'll start to hurt. The running helps relieve the pain, but it doesn't go away. When trapped in his cell, the camera's frame rate can't keep up with him. The screens in the security camera room just show four orange figures that change every could seconds, all of them with expressions of rage or desperation.

Lizzie attempting to make her escape, but as she runs down the halls, the screams of panicked from her friends disorient her. The guards eventually find her banging on the steel door of Joel's cell, screaming that she's sorry.

Imagine seeing Pearl with raw finger tips, sometimes with her entire palm covered in her own blood, and having no clue as to why until you walk into her cell, and see the claw marks in the concrete ceiling. Engravings from every time she'd had a breakdown and tried so hard to get to the open sky.

Etho always keeping his hands behind his back or in his pockets so the very thought of using his ability never crosses his mind.

Imagine Grian trying out each of his friends powers, and having to go through each and every single one of these torturous moments.

I JUST HAD A REALLY COOL IDEA FOR AN AU BASED ON THE NEW WILD LIFE EPISODE. HEAVY(?) ANGST UP AHEAD AND ALSO SPOILERS TO SESSION 7 SO BE WARNED!

LIFE SERIES MEMBERS BUT THEY GOT THEIR POWERS FROM LAB EXPERIMENTATION!!!!!

Okay I'm switching to lowercase so I'm not just screaming at you guys haha

[EDIT] Guess who’s fully elaborating on this AU with Subject files and a fic? :3

Project X Master Post

===============================

Imagine Martyn curled up in the corner of his cell, covering his ears bc he doesn't know how to block things out and everything is so loud.

Imagine Scott transforming from an aquatic creature back to his regular form, but he still has gills, and he panics when he can't breathe.

Imagine Jimmy turning in invisible for the first time and not knowing how to turn back, and he thinks he's stuck that way forever.

Imagine Ren transforming the first few times, but there's always something off about him. He looks eerie, like something from uncanny valley.

Imagine Scar not knowing his own strength and jokingly punching Mumbo, only to send him flying into the wall and causing his death.

Imagine Cleo trying so hard to get Mumbo and Skizz to act the way that they used to when she summons them, but it's never truly them. Something is always wrong.

Imagine BigB being terrified when he summons the creaking for the first time, not realizing they're on his side and thinking they'll attack him.

Imagine Gem astral projecting as an escapism, talking to Mumbo and Skizz and "leaving" the facility, but she can't truly leave.

Imagine Impulse and Tango nearly getting to escape with their powers, their friends cheering them on from inside their cells, and just when they're in the clear, Impulse gets tranquilized and falls unconscious. Tango can't bare to leave his buddy behind. They both get collars that block their abilities and heavy monitoring after that stunt.

Lizzie feels bad about her power. She's tried to escape as well, but when she realized the blindness affected her friends, it freaked her out so much that security was able to catch up to her and take her back to her cell.

Imagine Bdubs sleeping diligently through every night and dealing with nightmares of the hell they've all been put through so his friends don't.

Imagine Pearl wishing she could fly out in the open air, desperate for that kind of freedom that she knows she will never have.

Imagine Etho trying to bring down his mace to pretend to hit Bdubs, and when he move to the side to dodge, it actually puts him in the way of Etho's strike. The absolute terror that fills Etho is so bad that he never jokes like that again, even if it barely hurt him.

Imagine Joel looking around and analyzing the rooms, thinking of how he could scale the walls with his ability to escape through an air vent, but he can never bring himself to do it because he refuses to leave Lizzie.

Imagine Grian being physically and emotionally strained trying to learn everyone's powers and how to properly use them, wishing he just had one of his own instead.

Imagine Skizz and Mumbo both dying (Skizz due to the intense tests and Mumbo due to the effects the testing had on Scar) before they had a chance to gain powers of their own. Don't imagine those powers being just what the group needs to escape.

===============================

I think I might write each of these as a one shot. That would certainly be a LOT of fun :) lmk what you guys think please!

[bugslaststraw]

See it's funny because in the games, and in any other assorted media before the movies came out, everyone low-key just hates Robotnik. And not even in the fun dedicated way like they all seem to think he's a bit of a failure. Which sounds weird if you don't know anything about Sonic (and certainly sounded weird to me three weeks ago when I was one of those people) but it really is just genuinely the case. I think?

Obviously his family all hate him. Movie-only fans will have an idea about this one; we've got good old Geralt Robotnik who didn't give a rats ass about him in favour of his long-dead cousin Maria, whom he wants revenge for. Geralt manipulated him and used him and said "oh Ivo you're no Maria" even though Ivo probably doesn't even know who the fuck Maria is in the movie universe and so on, et cetera. Geralt sucks just as much in the games and did approximately the same thing there.

What you may or may not know is that in one of the games, Eggman runs into a descendant of his from generations into the future. That guy's name is Eggman Nega, and he absolutely hates his ancestor. He thinks he's cramping his style? He's trying to go back in time and kill him to restore his reputation as far as I remember. Not to mention he has other family and cousins, none of whom give a flying fuck what happens to him. I distinctly remember someone who's name was Collin but who's nickname was Snively and who also worked with Eggman at some point, but hated him, and then later betrayed him. I can't remember a single family member of Eggman's that actually seemed to like or even tolerate him.

He's had a lot of henchpeople too. Most of them were robots. A lot of them, like Omega, and Alpha, and Sage to an extent (although she was more like a robot daughter he built for himself) betrayed him and joined the good guys too (Sage is another outlier, she isn't exactly switching over but she definitely isn't loyal either so.??) I mean, Eggman isn't even surprised by the fourth time. Smaller minions like Orbot and Cubot and their predecessors weren't able to betray Eggman, but definitely would've if they could've because they all disliked him because he's allegedly a shit boss. (Who says he isn't. He's evil after all.)

He "contracts" a lot of spies and stuff too. Animal characters. They all hate him as well, but he tends to hate them in return, so at least those are entirely fair game.

Not to mention all the villains he's conveniently happened to need the same thing as at the start of the game, but become inconvenient to towards the end, so they betray him as quickly as possible to get ready for their final boss fight with Sonic towards the conclusion of the story. There's more of those than I can count or care to remember. He meets his alternative universe self once and they hate each other. There's even a moment in I think the comics where Eggman loses all his memories and temporarily becomes nice, and hangs out in a village and builds things for the furry people who live there. He makes a wooden puppet style robot that also becomes like a daughter to him. She's good at engineering, just like him. Of course when he gets his memories back and becomes evil again she leaves as quickly as possible and later helps Sonic & co. She's very resentful about it all, I've heard.

None of that is surprising, of course. Eggman is an evil villain to the heroes and a loser to the villains. It's funny! It's a joke. They need to introduce scarier villains in the games to ramp up tension but they can't exactly just drop Sonic's nemesis down a hole somewhere, being as iconic as he is... So he sticks around. But as a joke, rather than an actual threat. And it's a little sad, yeah. But he deserves it! He's trying to create some sort of totalitarian egg-state and he bullies Sonic for having friends, for Christ's sake. Why should anyone want to stay loyal to a guy like that- and why should anyone do it at all? Joining the heroes is the cool thing to do! Shadow does it, Knuckles does it, Omega kinda sorta does it, Sage is toeing the damn line from what I've heard, it's...

Okay, it's kind of a lot? I mean I understand having nobody that's a good guy like the villain, but like... Not even his damn henchpeople robots? In a lot of the animated shows and comics he keeps building robot wives for himself that are explicitly created just to like him, by him. That or he's into someone who's into one of the animals, or similar. I mean, it's that bad. And it's like... Nobody? Not even once in like thirty years did anyone come up with the idea to give Eggman?? This behemoth among famous pop culture characters? A loyal henchman?

And- well, okay, nowadays this isn't true anymore. I'm sure we all know why. And that's kind of fun; in 2020, Doctor Robotnik gained his first and only loyal henchperson. Great! But...

Jeff Fowler is a Sonic fan, isn't he. Would he know..?

Would anyone involved in making the movies know that Eggman famously... Doesn't have any friends? That nobody seems to like him? That he's apparently infinitely betrayable? Do they know? Do they know? Is that why the third movie is written like that? Is it not just a character complex pulled out of someone's- I mean, when movie Eggman says that there's only ever been one person who actually liked him and one person who actually cared about him... He's quite literally right, isn't he. As in... Since 1991... Like 34 years since conception as a handful of red pixels in the hottest new platformer game there's actually, literally only been one character..? ooh I think I need to lie down for a bit

[ravencincaide]

Flowers

Summary: In Dazai's mind, there is no such thing as too late. There is always a solution to every problem. You just need to find the right approach. OR Dazai’s bizarre reaction to your claim that its ‘too late’. 

Pairing: Mafia! Osamu Dazai x Fem! Reader  Author Note. This is Part 2 to: If only you'd hold my hand. I'd strongly advise you to read that one first befor reading Flowers. Work count: 2.2  Warning: Dark content including angst, mention of abortion, cursing and toxic relationship. In addition, this part includes light alcohol consumption, light mention of intimacy. You've been warned, And with those words: Enjoy!

"it's too late" your ominous whisper hung heavily in the dark room. Like a shroud, it buried the once happy news, and turned everything you knew- or thought you knew - into a

hollow, dark disappointing mess. And you didn't know where to start picking up the pieces.

Should you start with your shattered heart after having to make the hardest decision of your life? Deal with your disappointment in Dazai from breaking yet another promise to you? Or maybe address the shambles that was your relationship- or about to be. Should you break it off while the wound was still raw and be done with it all? Repeat those cursed words again and then watch how the tender affection you've craved for months was ripped away from you. 

Again.

Dazais lips move from your fingertips to your wrist. Paused at your pulse point where he pressed a kiss, then trailed up your arm until he came across a faint scar. He lingered there as if remembering where it came from, or thinking of ways to make it disappear. As if fixing that little blemish on your skin would somehow erase all the hurt.

You pulled your hand back, cleared your throat and tried to speak again "It's too - "

"-I think we should go on a vacation" Dazai caught your wrist and brought your hand back to his face, completely ignoring that he caught you off guard, your mind struggling to process his words. You were too stunned to speak, too stunned to react as you processed the odd words that left his mouth. He used that moment to pull you to his chest.  "It's been so long since we've had some 'You and me’ time, Pretty” 

You swallowed thickly past the cotton-ball feeling in your throat "I don't think I have the energy to-"

"-Nonsense. I'll get you packed" He had you sit on your bed as he pulled out  our old travel bag from the closet. The one you hadn't used since your last field mission all those years ago. You didn’t even know you still had it, but Dazai knew where to find it straight away. 

Odd? 

A moment passed of him  fighting with the zip and lock combo before the fearsome Mafia executive began packing seemingly random articles of clothing: dresses, shirts, blouses, jeans and t-shirts. His disposition was almost happy as he filled your suitcase to the brim and then opened another compartment, ready to stuff even more things into the overfilled bag. 

You glanced away  as he opened your lingerie drawer, part of you embarrassed at the state of it and another part angry at how comfortable he seemed handling your personal items. As if he owed them. The lacy fancy stuff you used to wear was replaced by worn granny panities for bad days and brand new tighty whities for good. 

He pushed them to the side with several falling to the fall, then humm’ed in approval as though he found a goldmine. “Oh these ones will do. Do you remember them?” Dazai asked, holding up a pair of sheer ones with an obnoxious bow on the butt.

How did he find those? Exactly the ones you wore when you two were last intimate. You were certain you lost them in the laundry. Or maybe tossed them away in a fit of desperate rage. 

You grimaced as he packed them into the bag and then went back to digging in your drawer.

“Lets just go” you muttered as you got off the bed and snatched the almost packed suitcase out of his hands.  You hurried out of the room and back towards the garage you had just come from. You were certain he’d suggest taking the car and it didn’t take you long to find the oddly parked vehicle near the door, all set and ready to head to this ‘so called’ vacation of his. 

But all you wanted was to get away. Run before he could bring up more of those pleasantly unpleasant memories. Because who in their right fucking mind would want to think about the fun sexy times in your condition? Especially knowing those seemingly loving moments would result in your current predicament 

Then again what fucking sane person would go on a lovey dovey vacahan with their Ex right after an abortion?

Wait? 

Is that what you two were now? Exes? Lost love? Another tragic statistic? Could you even be exes in the twisted world of death, abilities and absolute loyalty? Or was this some kind of sick amusement on his part? A twisted game for him and a pat on the back for you for a job ’well done’; a role ‘well played’.  

You were getting angry. Frustrated at the loneliness you endured. Angry at the fact that

you hadn't seen him for days, asked for a single favour from him, begged for a moment of his time, to meet you for lunch and he failed. He fucking failed to show up for you when it counted and you were not going to forgive him for it. 

No, you’d go on this fucking trip under obligations but you’d also show him that you were done, and he could shove his immature-

Flowers?

The backseat of the car had a bouquet of flowers laying on it, your favourite dinner peeked out of a take-away bag and the seat cushion between front and back seat was up and arranged for you to take a nap. As you processed the oddly caring gesture, Dazai caught up with you and took the packed bag out of your hands before putting it in the trunk. Himself.

"No goons with?" 

"Nope "He said it as if he's gone anywhere without half a dozen mafia on his ass in the last half a year. “Only you and me for a change, donna"

A flicker of concern passed over you. Your one eyed bandit driving? Did he even remember

how to do that after all the time he spent stuck behind a desk?

You were about to protest, to offer yourself up to be behind the wheel but the words caught in your throat, choked by the anger, sadress, betrayal and that gut punching act he put on, as if everything was okay- that it would be okay. No, he wanted this vacation, he failed you, so he could Ideal being behind the uncomfortable wheel for hours on end, navigating the roads while you gave him the Silent Treatment. Then maybe, just maybe, he’d begin to finally understand a fraction of the emotion you felt, that you dealt with. Because of him. 

Flowers. 

Fucking flowers made you made you cave enough to move from the backsea to shotgun a day later. Weary eyes watched the blur of the passing landscape, lingering on famous places Dazai pointed out before you’d stubbornly looked away again. Still silent, safe for your body language which was an open book for him.

That was enough for him. Daizai  kept pointing out a place or two:  an offer to stop for dinner, a gasbreak, a cultural sight or a place where a gruesome murder took place and read your body language for an answer. And through it all, at almost every stop, he got you flowers. Long, Short, tall, cheap, pricey, eternal and real. It wasn’t long before the backseat looked like a miniature garden with yet  another addition to the ever growing collection in your lap- a bunch of local lilies of various shades of white or red.

Beside you, Dazai was focused on the road, the traffic moderate enough that he could tear his attention away every few moments for a kiss. Kiss the places where your hands interlocked, on your knuckles and occasionally your lips or your neck. 

Loving. Almost playful.

This was the Dazai you knew- the man you fell in love with. You could see him so clearly now, without the mafia coat and executive responsibilities. Just a man who grew up too quickly, behind the wheel of the car that was too big and just right at the same time. Just him and you and the endless road that swallowed up the unspoken words; gobbled up bitter emotion until a mournful numbness settled in.

On day 3, you both checked into a hotel for the night- your last night in Japan before your flight, and you finally broke through the last of the unspoken resentment. Tears welled up in your eyes as you saw the dress Dazai prepared for you to wear to dinner. The fabric hidden inside the fancy protective bag, by the closet with only the tags peeking out. A bottle of champagne and strawberries stood by the grand bed, right beside a hand written welcome card. 

It was perfect, full of luxuries you weren’t accustomed to, full of affection and thought and grand gestures you never experienced before. 

Perfectly and overbearingly sweet. 

Anything anyone could have wanted- and more. And it was too much. Tears turned to sobs as you clung to Dazai in the doorway. Apologies spilled past your lips, a constant mantra of ‘I’m sorry’s’ The past three days had been a reminder of simpler times. A reminder of the why and how you and Dazai got together, the sacrifices you made for each other. Promises that were forgotten along the way; moments taken for granted. You were hit with the realization of everything you had, and everything you likely lost. You risked years together, poured it down the drain because of a missed lunch. 

A decision set in pain and anger which ended up causing you more pain. 

Oh if only you’d have known that getting away from the Mafia was what he needed. What you both needed. Then maybe, just maybe things would have turned out differently. “Can we try again?” it was a question you asked without a second thought. It seemed right in that moment, appropriate.  

"We can," Dazai muttered, as he pulled back long enough to cup your cheeks. "Just promise me you'll never rush big decisions without talking to me first. Even if it’s about your body."

“I promise" the promise rolled off your lips like a second breath. 

Dazai’s face split into a smile, a satisfied and pleased expression. "Good, now then, we have a dinner reservation to attend to, why don’t you go and get ready?” 

The offer was both exciting and exhausting. The moment was cut short by the planned dinner. It was a little disappointing to you but you were also used to it, adjusting your wants and needs to the clock. Almost in a trance you showered and got yourself changed and ready for a proper evening dinner like in those stupid rom com movies. 

You were done just as it was time to head down. Admittedly you couldn't say you felt okey, beautiful or back to normal. But you could say you felt thought of and loved with every little gesture from his side: pulled out chair, the pink-purple almost wild-looking flowers on the table, a glass of red wine in your hand. The feeling was only reinforced as Dazai leaned closer to you for a rare vacation picture. 

You both, together, in one shot, without you needing to beg. 

It was surreal. 

Selfishly, you set your mind to focus on the good happenings in your present. The stuff that gave you hope for a brighter future. To change your trail of thought from the bad to the good, and the first step would be to view this time away from the mafia as a blessing rather than an obligation.

 “By the way, you never said where we're going” You mused as the waiter removed the appetisers and refilled both your glasses before the main course. " I guess it’s somewhere in Europe, right? Those are the only planes that leave so early tomorrow, right?"

Dazai looked amused at your observation skills, then pleased. "It is, and it's a good opportunity to take a break from the Mafia," Dazai mused, his head resting on his hand, one eye fixated on you and your every expression. 

You pouted at his none-answer.

"Aww c’mon can you at least tell me where it is?” You batted your eyelashes at him as if such simple flirting techniques would ever work on a man like him. Though it was more a running joke between you from your earlier days than an actual attempt at seduction.

To your surprise, he answered. “ It's an obscure little place in Europe " Dazai took a sip of wine, let the taste linger on his tongue, with the tiniest of smiles on his lips. It was like he enjoyed making you wait, torturing your excited self with patience. " It’s called Meursault” 

" Meursault?  It sounds french" You observed. Instantly your mind filled with thoughts of  wine gardens, salt, water and the sea and calm countryside, and your face split into the biggest grin possible. "Must be pretty calm and serene; I look forward to seeing it"

“I’m sure it will feel just like home��� … 

Author Note: I'm well aware this chapter left more questions than answers, so I'd like to hear what you guys think. What caught your attention? What did you react to? Did something seem odd and uncharacteristic for Dazai- and if so, why do you think he behaves this way? And most importantly, why Mersault?

And on a final note: I hope you enjoyed!

𝕄𝕒𝕚𝕟 |ℝ𝕒𝕧𝕖𝕟 |ℝ𝕦𝕝𝕖𝕤 |ℝ𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕤 |𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 |ℂ𝕣𝕖𝕕 & 𝕆𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣

All fics are unique works by ©raven-cincaide 2024. Do not copy/repost/translate or spread my work(s) without my explicit permission. If you see any of my work(s) reworked/reposted/copied anywhere, please inform me!

[nikethestatue]

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. And just because Elain thinks she is ready, doesn’t mean she is.

Nah this is weird to say. I thought you were all "we respect what Elain says" and then you pull up with this..

Azriel not wanting her exposed to the dread trove is straight up coddling, especially when Elain says she wanted to do it. That is not a good look. He's holding her back for her potential as a made seer. How could they go on spy missions if he doesn't want her in danger?

But when Elain had to claim she was a part of the NC, then we take her word for it? Though none of the others has had to claim to be part of it, it's show, don't tell with them. Even though "the spring court was made for someone like Elain", she smells like "a promise of spring", and "black suck the life out of her, no matter how much she claimed to be a part of this court"??

It comes across as a bit... pick and choose imho🤷

Just saying..

You guys are strange when you think that 'coddling' is some type of an insult. No, caring for people that you love and not putting them in danger is not coddling. It's being cautious and smart.

Azriel has a first hand view to what powers that are unknown and uncontrolled can do to a person--namely Nesta. She is destroyed. She is suffering. She is plagued by horrible visions, which he saw in person. Azriel saw how Elain was after she was Made. She was destroyed. She was suffering. She was plagued by horrible visions, which no one could explain (until him).

Azriel who went to Hyben to rescue her might have felt the connection that she had with the Cauldron. Cauldron's infatuation with her. Two days later, she made that thing purr.

She also clearly states that she needs to 'dust off' her powers. Aka, she doesn't use them and doesn't really know how to utilize them. NONE of them know how many of these powers work. And Azriel's seen again and again and again how rushing into things--which is something Rhys tends to do--and having awful plans or no plans (remember that lil trip to Hybern? THAT was a raging success. Or that trip to Summer? Or ten other things that Rhys half-assed and failed at) -leads to more failures than successes.

Furthermore, was Cassian coddling Nesta when he set her in a tree and forbade her from moving from there? And what happened when she did? She was SAed by the Kelpie. When she was sent to the Prison, she was almost killed, Cassian was almost killed, and when Cassian ordered her to run, did he coddle her?

Azriel is the first person to say: this is a bad idea. He is RATIONAL. And he is a strategist.

When he told Mor--the warrior queen of immense power--that she may NOT sneak into the Queens' Palace, he wasn't coddling her. He was mitigating a potential disaster.

When he advised the IC that Elain shouldn't be exposed to the darkness of the Cauldron, he wasn't coddling her. He was acting as a member of the governing body of his Court and an experienced warrior.

Interesting how you don't bring up how the same Azriel didn't 'coddle' Elain during the war, but offered her Truth Teller and told her to take care of herself.

He didn't attempt to hide her powers from her--he named the and gave them a way to be used and explained.

A woman saying 'I don't like this man' or 'I belong in this place, where I live' is NOT the same as her saying that she can go and essentially diffuse a nuclear weapon or look for nuclear warheads in the middle of Kandahar because she's read the manual once.

Be for real.

And, I, for one would LOVE to see a woman being loved, protected and coddled by a man, for a change.

It's funny how all of the hardcore Nesta stans are raging over Cassian NOT coddling her enough, not caring for her well-being enough, not protecting her, and listening to Rhys all the time, but when it comes to Azriel putting his foot down, suddenly it's him preventing Elain from doing stupid shit for Rhys.

(side note, this is not an anti Rhys post. But the dude isn't a very good strategist)

[elfwreck]

I can't promise you'll be okay, or your friends will be okay.

I can promise: We have been through worse.

We have survived in eras where it people were literally legally allowed to kill us on sight with no repercussions. We have survived through eras where we could be tortured by cops and they couldn't even be charged or sued later because nobody would take the case, even if their actions weren't legal. We have survived through eras where the hint that someone might be queer was not only considered a valid reason to fire them, evict them (even if they were a child), remove their children, steal their possessions, and physically assault them in horrible ways - but speaking out against that could get someone else the same treatment.

We have gained a lot of civil rights since then. We have recently lost some - but not all of them. And there are people who want to change that.

It's going to get ugly.

Part of why it's going to get ugly, is that they are not winning. They are outnumbered; most people do not care who someone loves, how someone dresses, what gender someone else is. They want to go about their day and do not care what strangers do to be happy.

The conservatives are using a whole lot of hot-button buzzwords to whip up anger and fear because most people do not care. And will not care, once nobody is pushing the Rage-and-Terror agenda.

And eventually, the boomers will mostly die off and be replaced by millennials (...I'm GenX; we're going to continue to be mostly ignored) and the millennials will be setting policies and trying to figure out why anyone ever cared about this stuff.

It won't be quick, and there will be a lot of holdouts and several setbacks.

Loving v Virginia was 1967, establishing that states could not deny marriages based on race. In 2009, Keith Bardwell in Louisiana was still denying mixed-race couples marriage licenses - 42 years later. But most of the country was absolutely baffled and appalled by his actions, and it's going to be that way for queer rights.

Eventually.

I can't say soon. Sorry. We have a rough 4 years ahead of us followed by a long recovery.

Find your friends, your allies, and your community, and support them and rely on them. Watch out for toxicity - and especially watch out for external propaganda designed to turn us against each other. Don't let them convince you that there is a "good" way to be queer and a "bad" way - they want us all gone. They just want us to hunt down each other first, as much as they can arrange that.

Remember that the true resistance is finding your people and building a community with them. It's not in buying or not-buying anything; it's not in reading specific books or watching specific movies; it's not in supporting this or that economic policy. It's certainly not in denouncing the people you don't want in your community.

Find the people who make you say "I wanna be like that when I grow up." Become a person who makes others say that about you. Build a haven with them, even if it's only online, even if none of you know each other's legal names.

No matter what happens, queer people and communities will continue to exist. The more we can find each other and trust each other, the closer we will be to thriving instead of just surviving.

i hope this isn't too weird but im really feeling like I need an older queer to tell me straight up: am I going to be ok? im a queer teen in the u.s. and with *gestures vaguely* all this...is it gonna be ok? are me and my queer friends gonna be ok?

I wish I could tell you for sure that you're gonna be okay. I can't guarantee that. I can't guarantee that for anybody. It's gonna get scary. Some of your friends are not gonna be okay. You might not be okay from time to time, or for a while. I don't know. I know that it's gonna be hard. There will be beauty in there to be found, and you're gonna need to get good at finding it, and you will if that's part of what you focus on.

One of the things that my family tries to do as a matter of course is to look for reasons to say shehechyanu. If you're not familiar, it's a bracha/prayer that Jews say every time they do something for the first time each Jewish year. So the first time you light the Shabbat candles, the first time you cross the border into another state, the first time you sit down for lunch with a particular friend, whatever it is. This is true of negative experiences, of course, and I find myself saying shehechyanu when I'm ... I dunno, at the ER for the first time each year, too, because the poem translates to:

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the world, who has kept us alive, sustained us, and brought us to this season.

So whatever I'm going through, I am trusting that I've been sustained to this point for a reason, and that I'll be sustained to the next thing for a reason, too. But it's not a passive thing -- it's not like, 'well, it's all in HaShem's hands, He'll make that choice.' By saying shehechyanu, I'm choosing to sustain myself. I'm choosing to say that I got here and I'll get to the next thing, too. Me and my people, we got here, and we'll get to the next thing, too.

You're gonna have to find your way to do that, and I trust that you will. I trust that you're up to the challenge of what these years are gonna be, because you reached out when you were afraid, and you asked someone for help. I'm sorry it took me a while to answer this, but like. You've got the instincts and the skills to get through this, starting with "I asked for someone to help me."

Asking for help from each other is the first thing an infant does: we cry. We say, I'm scared, this is new and terrifying, please help me. So find the people you can help, and the people you can ask for help. That's how we get through.

[shokveyv]

sari did not "choose" anything. you wrote her to choose sentinel, wrote her to be 25, and claimed that "making people uncomfortable is okay in writing." but then also try to claim that this is Japanese culture.

okay, well not all of your followers are Japanese and they don't have to be okay with seeing sari, an 8 year old upgraded to teenager, as said by her dad, now suddenly with a grown up alien robot.

You're free to draw what you want and write what you want. and if you post it publicly, people are allowed to have their public say. that first anon explained it perfectly and I have no idea how you could not understand what they meant when they said "if you knew someone since they were a baby or toddler, and then decided to date them the moment they were of age [18 in the states] , that is predatory, as in creepy, as in WRONG, you are predatory, as in creepy, as in WRONG.

no one in the States would or should find the idea of GROOMING as part of someone's culture. it doesn't matter if sentinel did or didn't remember sari.

again, draw what you want, but dont compare people being uncomfortable with your choice in taboo art as being like your mother. her issues with you are their own and your viewer's discomfort is NOT on the same level.

i really liked your art, but if this is how you will be when being told this sort of stuff makes people uneasy, then block and block and block. it is your account after all. and don't try to guilt trip people, that doesn't do anything but make your victim card expire. you're an adult drawing weird stuff. if you wanna own it, own it. don't pull the "I've been gone for 5 years, almost hurt myself and my mom gave me a hard time." its not fair you went through that but only bringing it up again NOW makes you look like you're farming for sympathy cause you drew an aged up version of sari dating a full grown mech.

She chose to based on the character development she was given. A writer understands this. Writing is uncomfortable. Otherwise why would you be question sari but not Tailgate, a literal child, being married to Cyclonus? You not question JRO? This is an edit: I have learned it is not a literal Child, he is only mind of a child behaviour.

Please curb your racism.

Sentinel didn't decide to date Sari moment she is 18. He did not know it was Sari and did not know his age. Why do you extrapolate "he waits knowingly until she is 18 to date"? that is you being malicious intentionally. She wasn't groomed. He didn't have contact with her at all xD You're being intentionally malicious and misleading! If you wish to debate you must have sensible argument not fake ones to lie to the audience. What are you talking about taboo mother????

If you cannot understand that sometimes there is writing that makes you unhappy and it's okay to be unhappy without the harassment of source, you are not mature enough to be reading my content, not mature enough to be on the internet. Grow up and stop being so racist and intentionally misleading!

Post-edit: Translator Alice here. She means that Sentinel has not seen Sari since last he saw her in the series. Sentinel doesn't recognize Sari as Sari when he sees her ala Cybertronian bibliotecaria. He never had a romantic interest in her as a child and was not waiting for her to become "of age" to date her. 20 years old is an important coming-of-age in Japan, so Sari being 18 at this point would have no significance to her dating-wise, unlike in America, where the age of 18 is significant. Nowhere did she say that he was waiting for her to become legal. That is something that was insinuated by the viewers.

[radiantmists]

Something I was thinking about while writing my chorb fic for Charles Week is that I don't think there's actually any canonical suggestion that orb form is something ghosts fall into naturally. If I remember correctly, the only time we see the orbs is when Esther captures the boys, and she specifically mentions that she was keeping Charles trapped that way, which suggests that it's something she did to them to keep them docile.

However, I do love orb content. I ran with the fanon interpretation in the fic because it's fun, but while I was writing it, another thought occurred to me: what if Edwin, in a last-ditch attempt to keep Charles safe from some threat (or prevent him from dissipating due to a grievous injury), turns him into an orb?

Presumably he'd run across the spell in some evil wizard's tome, recorded as a way to conveniently store ghosts for later use (since apparently they're a nice magical snack). He probably only memorized it so that he could recognize if someone was trying to cast it on them in the future. But now he's got Charles' soul trapped in his hands, neatly packaged up for someone to steal or consume.

He's probably still stuck in a desperate situation. Maybe in this state he can't even feel Charles, just a well of magical energy that would be so easy to tap into. And of course Edwin is never tempted for a moment to do that, but now he has to carry Charles safely out of there and figure out how to turn him back. Maybe the book he saw the spell in is in Charles' backpack and therefore inaccessible, or maybe it didn't include a method for undoing the spell at all, leaving Edwin to choose between two terrible options: experimenting on the orb, or looking for someone familiar with that spell-- ie, a magician who collects ghosts-- to teach him how to undo it.

I don't really know where this goes from here but the idea has so much potential to put Edwin through the emotional wringer, it's fun.

[iminyourwallsbabe]

Arcane characters as different types of kpop enjoyers

Not stans, you'll see later.

Jinx- Hardcore noise music girlie. The more obnoxious the better. If the beat makes you audibly go "what the fuck is going on", she's eating that up. That's groups like Stray Kids, Ateez, NCT (don't ask which one, the answer is all of them), etc. She also likes G-Idle because Isha fucking loved Queencard and Wife and has since put those songs on Sevika's arm, much to her annoyance. It's grown on her though, since Isha quit being a trainee at Breathing entertainment (GET IT BECAUSE SHE'S-)

Vi- I don't think she'd like any particular group, if she comes across some kpop and it sounds good to her then it's whatever. She's shown some consistent interest in BTS' earlier music (so from like 2 Kool 4 Skool to The Most Beautiful Moment in Life). She doesn't understand the obsession some people have with it but she respects it to some extent. However some people think she's a huge kpop stan because she keeps going out to buy albums for Jinx. She used to just steal them but then she decided to date a COP and now she has to "obey the law" or whatever. Kinda cringe.

Caitlyn- Christian horse girl music. For the uninitiated, this is an unofficial sub genre of kpop. It's literally just the most squeaky clean, probably heard it in a kdrama type songs. So GFriend, Berry Good, Lovelyz, a little bit of Loona, April, Apink, WJSN. No this is not all she's ever been allowed to listen to, she acquired this taste herself. She's a basic bitch at heart and we love her for that ♥️

Jayce- Caitlyn may be basic, but this man is BASIC basic. knows two BTS songs and it's Dynamite and Butter. But good news! He's not completely out of the loop. He knows about the Butter remix with Megan Thee Stallion. He also liked Neva Play by Megan Thee Stallion, RM just happens to be on that song. And he listened to the Mamushi remix featuring Twice. Mamushi, by Megan Thee Stallion. Are we seeing a trend here, perchance? Anyway, besides that, remember when Jungkook was popping off in the states for his solo stuff back in 2023? He was into that too. In fact he still consistently listens to the Golden album. At some point he wanted to get into New Jeans but then he googled how old they were and said FFFFFFUCK NO. (Go ahead, look up how old they were when they debuted. Also, on that note, FUCK HYBE, WE'RE BOYCOTTING THEIR ASSES- or at least we were supposed to for the past year because they can't help but hire Zionist weirdos but people didn't get the memo till they fully fucked over New Jeans so)

Anyway, on with the post!

Viktor- He is all the way a Red Velvet stan. Their music is just calm enough to where he doesn't find it distracting and just hype enough for him not to find it boring. He's the type of guy who puts on music to hear it, not to forget it's playing. He usually keeps songs like Bad Boy, Feel My Rhythm, and Psycho in rotation. That's really all the kpop he listens to but he loves Aespa's aesthetics and lore. Does he understand what's going on? Vaguely. He doesn't have the time to do a deep dive but he knows enough to think it's cool. Jayce does too, mostly because of Viktor.

Heimerdinger- He's a Once, next question.

Mel- I'm not too sure how to categorize this, all I'm gonna say is that her taste matches her tax bracket. She's listening to Kiss of Life, IVE, Le Sserafim, Mamamoo, Chungha, and she's fully caught up on the scandals. She could tell you who Hyuna's married to and why that's a problem, she knows who shat on the floor at that one award show, why Jimin and Jeongyeon had beef, she can explain kpop pipelines you didn't know existed. Jayce will listen to all of this very intently even though he has no idea who the fuck these people are. Like at all. He's lost. She knows he doesn't really understand but she appreciates that he gives her the time of day. She's also the type of person to decorate her photocards, all the decorations are gold.

Ekko- He likes a lot of the same groups Jinx does but in a different way. The way she likes their insane, loud songs, he likes the ones that are a little more chill. But sometimes when he misses her, he'll play the songs she likes. So, that being said, it's entirely possible that he cried his eyes out to fucking Sticker by NCT 127 (I think? Idk I be forgetting). Like from the other room you'd hear some weird ass recorder noises and violent sobbing. Besides that, he also enjoys really obscure groups. He's the nugu king. Some of the artists on his Spotify wrapped have like 10,000 streams combined. Where did he find this? Nobody knows. He also likes K/DA and his bias is Akali. That makes more sense when you remember True Damage exists

[wlwsoccerfics]

Football Incident(Beth Mead & Vivianne Miedema)

Warning: injury

Summary: Beth & Viv watch their daughter play in her first football game & things don't go as planned.

It was supposed to be a fun family day, watching Mira play in her first soccer Game. Little Mira was four years old now. Spoiler alert it wasn't such a fun day.

Beth woke Mira up in the morning around 7am, they had to leave at 8:15am to make there in time. "Mommy? I am really excited and i am gonna play my bestest game just like you and Mama always do!" Mira told Beth with a soft smile. "I know you gonna do great munchkin. But remember it's important to have fun, okay?" Beth answered. Helping her daughter to get dressed. Viv walked in smiling from ear to ear "there is my little Football Star!" She said and picked you up kissing your forehead. " Yes Mama that's me!" Mira hugged Viv close. "Mommy said it's important to also have fun!" Mira explained to Viv. "Well your mommy is not only gorgeous but also very smart, cause what she told you is very true!" Viv stated and kissed Beth gently. Beth kissed back. "Still sweet talking me after all those years i see!" She answered which made Mira giggle. "I am gonna have fun for you cause you are my mommies and for all my aunties coming to watch me Play!" Mira let them know. Looking down at her football kit. "I even look cool like you!" The little one sure could be a Chatter Box.

After Mira had toast and a banana for breakfast they drove to the football field. When they got there all her aunties were already there. Jill,Leah,Lia,Alessia,Caitlin & Katie waving at Mira. "Mama! Mommy! Look aunties!" She said and ran over. "Slow down, munchkin!" Viv yelled out. Intertwining fingers with Beth. "I am careful!" Mira yelled and ran into Katies arms. "Auntie Katie i gonna have lots of fun cause mommy told me it's important! But also i am gonna kick some Butt and Score a Goal!" The little girl let Katie know. "Mira Anouk Miedema Mead Langauge!" Beth told her daughter. "Sorry Mommy!" The grown ups were all laughing.

The game started soon and Mira played really well. She did in fact score a goal. Which was surprising cause the Team they played against looked like they were all around two years older then Mira and her Team. When Mira got the ball again. Ready to Pass it to one of her teammates a Girl from the other team tackled Mira and landed on top of her. The sound of a crack filled the air which was followed by Miras loud Scream. "Munchkin!" Viv yelled out and ran over to her daughter, followed by Beth. Leah and Katie were ready to start beef with the child who hurt their niece and Caitlin really had to try hard to Stop her fiancee from getting into Trouble. Lia also held back her pregnant wife. "Mommy, Mama! It Hurts!" Mira sobbed out and carefully climbed into her Mamas arms. Viv held her close. Making sure not to touch the arm that caused her daughter pain and for sure looked broken. "I know Angel. Let's get you to the hospital. They gonna make it all better there!" Viv kissed her childs forehead gently. "Mommy is gonna drive and Mama is gonna sit in the back with you my darling." Beth replied and they walked to the car with her. Her aunties all followed and would also drive there in their own cars.

Viv held Mira the entire time, they listened to Taylor Swift Songs and the little Girl ended up falling asleep in her mothers arms. "Our poor Baby." Beth breathed out. "This is heartbreaking, isn't it?!" Viv replied. Sighing sadly. Around 25 minutes later they parked in front of thr Hospital and walked inside. Soon followed by Miras aunties. Beth & Viv stayed with her the entire time while everyone was in the waiting room. Only time her moms left her side was for the x-rays. Turned out the arm was indeed broken but good news it was a clean break, so no surgery was needed. Just a cast and regular Check ups for the next 5 weeks. All of her aunts promised to check on her daily.

"you were such a brave little girl at the hospital." Beth told Mira when they were back home, cuddled up on the couch while Viv made some lasgana. cause it was her daughters favorite. The little girl was hiding her face in Beths chest, her legs one on each side of her mommys Body. "it was less scary with you & Mama there! Cause i know you wouldn't let them hurt me! They made you and Mamas knees all better at the hospital!" She explained. "They did indeed!" Viv agreed as she walked into the living room from the kitchen. "Ready for some lasgana?" She asked. "Yes Mama! Thank you for making my favorite!" The little girl held her arms out for Viv to carry her so she scooped her into her arms. Careful not to hurt her daughters broken arm, that was wrapped in a red Cast. She held Mira with one while taking Beths hand with her free hand leading her into the kitchen.

After they had lasagna they watched some paw patrol with their daughter before putting Mira to bed. She was allowed to sleep in her mommies bedroom tonight.

Today sure didn't go as planned. But at least things were fixable.

[patchwork-crow-writes]

Yesterday I wrote this post espousing that all of Ralsei's more "suspicious" or "mysterious" moments can be explained by the fact that he's being dragged around by Deltarune's narrative like a chew toy, in a similar way to how Kris is being dragged around by us players. I used this to explain how he could have gotten to the Cyber World, or why he revealed information about the Roaring at the exact moment he did.

But I didn't have a convincing way to use this to explain why he acts the way he does in the post-Spamton NEO fight. Until now.

For those who need a refresher - after you beat Spamton NEO, Susie stops the party and tried to draw attention to how weird the entire ordeal was. Kris is very clearly shaken and distraught, and we have an option to let them voice that distress. In response, Ralsei tells them not to worry about it, it meant nothing, and to think about nice things instead until they feel better. Which, while this seems like a sweet thing to do on the surface, many people have interpreted this as Ralsei trying to keep everything running smoothly, to downplay all the implications of what Spamton said and was trying to achieve for himself, and in doing so disregarding Kris's mental state and trying to fob them off with hollow platitudes.

Where people have made the mistake, I feel, is that Ralsei is doing this because he's trying to keep this information hidden from Kris, or because he doesn't actually care about their feelings and is only interested in serving the prophecy or the narrative. But actually, I think he probably didn't have much of a choice except to respond in the way he does.

Consider Ralsei's position for a moment. He has waited all by himself in the dark for his entire life, in service of a prophecy and the heroes it speaks of, chained figuratively - and perhaps even literally - to the game's narrative structure. Restore the balance of light and dark, save the world, don't ask questions. He has known no other structure, no other way of being. Perhaps he has privately lamented this fate, perhaps he feels that he is trapped and has no real influence... it makes no difference. He cannot break free of the narrative's yoke.

We can infer that Ralsei knows about the player, because he has conversations with Kris while we're distracted with Susie's antics. He knows that Kris is in a very similar situation to him. I'm willing to bet he also knows that making statements like "I understand what you're going through" or "We'll find a way to fix this" right in front of us, at that exact moment in time, would absolutely NOT help the situation, no matter how comforting Kris might find it.

Because not only does Ralsei not currently have the means to help liberate Kris from their strings - he cannot even liberate HIMSELF right now - and not only would it be even more of a meaningless gesture than a simple offer of cake or hugs as a result - but to draw attention to those strings in the first place would be an extremely dangerous thing to do, because then the players would KNOW that he's working to free them from our influence. And the Narrative would know, too. He cannot afford to draw too much attention to himself or the extent of what he knows at this moment in time. Not yet.

Indeed, perhaps he is banking on players seeing him as suspicious and callous, to draw attention away from the fact that he is actually very much on Kris's side and wants to help them. Remember, he has had at least one opportunity at this point to explain himself to Kris without prying eyes. There's a good chance that they know more than they're letting on, as well.

And this doesn't even take into account that Ralsei may very well be physically unable to say anything else, due to the possibility that the narrative heavily restricts what he can say or do.

Perhaps I am giving the fluffy boy too much credit here, I don't know. But it's fascinating to consider, nonetheless.

[smokends]

smokends

i recently fell down the fake post tag the other day and was inspired to make one for lumiblr i hope y'all enjoy <3

0 notes

insane-moth-signals-facts

Fact #124: Shin Yeonghui publicly admitted to creating a smear campaign against Salem, Junyeong, and Serin after they left Superbloom Media. She leaked private information to various gossip sites in South Korea.

clovertruther

i would love to study shin yeonghui's brain and why she thought that would be a good idea

3.2k notes

songbirdzz follow

does anyone else remember when junyeong beat the fuck outta oliver at the lure in 2023?

prettyeon

didn't oliver deserve it?

oliverdefender001 follow

nope. junyeong instigated the entire altercation based off false rumors that he heard from some random person about a situation that never happened.

mothcandy

"some random person" IT WAS JIYEON 😭😭😭😭

2.3k notes

venusvue follow

moth signals lyrics that keep me awake at night

232 notes

insane-moth-signals-facts

Fact 293: Salem had to apologize for illegally downloading Fall Out Boy's Save Rock and Roll and Panic! at the Disco's A Fever You Can't Sweat Out.

2.8k notes

rocksandmoths follow

do you think jueun still lurks on her old tumblr account

deurimhrt follow

salem had a tumblr?!

rocksandmoths follow

yeah ! her @ is ribbondawn, just like her instagram!!

23 notes

junyeong247

Y'ALL PAID HER DUST.

junyeong247

Say you hate this song one more time and I will commit war crimes that the United States will use one day.

rubytine follow

3.9k notes

incorrectmoths

Shin Yeonghui: I don't care that your neuron divergent, I need you to get on fucking stage

12.2k notes

need2beu follow

i need them to kiss

need2beu follow

GUYS................ i manifested them

13.1k notes

12112001 follow

live posting me listening to jiyeon's new soundcloud album :D

12112001 follow

Update: just listened to older..... i think i need to lie down for a while and contemplate life

12112001 follow

Update: ☹️

12112001 follow

Update: this almost killed me

12 notes

2seo follow

tokiko follow

gentle reminder that we can all have different opinions on moth signals music and the direction they are moving in. gentle reminder that when the members start releasing solos, we will support them no matter what.

saliverwarrior follow

evil reminder that junyeong has never released a good solo project. evil reminder that deurim released love me or hate me. evil reminder you can be a hater and still support your favs.

tokiko follow

make your own post

783 notes

incorrectmoths

Oliver: I do not have "PTSD". That is all just the wizards curse. Oliver: The wizard is my father but that isn't relevant.

9.2k notes

littloserin follow

have you seen HER today?

57 notes

newlumi023 follow

does anyone know what happened to minjae?

songisms follow

minjae was blacklisted from the entertainment industry in south korea by shin yeonghui. he went back to get his degree in elementary education and now works as a music teacher! here's my favorite recent picture of him and you can follow him @/yiminjae on instagram !

175 notes

seurim

reblog if you've never hated deurim

seurim

i know you fuckers are lying

1k notes

boweroftabel

sometimes i want to kill myself but then i remember i havent seen moth signals on tour yet

239 notes

snsdsupremacy follow

do you guys think that oliver is a good or bad thing on moths signals repuations?

snsdsupremacy follow

IN MY OPINION!!!!! yes, he brings in a lot of fans and drives the popularity of moth signals, but he also tarnishes everything with his substance abuse and mental illness

luvlocketz follow

blame the mentally ill guy for something he can't change 🙄

thesinklive

if he wanted to change, he would. i think he's perfectly content with being miserable until he kills himself

y0urb0y

what an insane thing to say FJEKJFNKEFJN

mothsignalsisfoundfamily

i keep seeing people say this and it's truly baffling to me. i think it stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of who oliver is as a person and what made him this way. from what we know, his father abused him, he's been the gossip scapegoat for years, and is severely mentally ill. if i were him, i would have lost my mind years ago.

thesinklive

no i understand oliver lmao but we all know what happened when he went back to boston in 2021. he never got the help he needed and it SHOWS. i have no respect for anyone that avoids getting help for any reason. it's not that hard to ask for help.

hrtdeurim follow

next thing you know sink is gonna say that they think velvetine is a cult MDHBJWFHB

thesinklive

well, actually.

anonymous asked: what do you think of salem's solo music so far?

loviejovie follow

salem park can do no wrong in my eyes 🙂‍↕️ just the existence of curse of capulet as an album is enough to prove how talented she is. from the olim to the simplicity of lovers, she was on a mission to show everyone what she could make and the rest of the moths were not involved whats so ever. it's going to be very hard for her to follow up such an amazing mini album, so i worry about sp2 and whatever it may be

1 note

thesinklive

omhg i NEED him sooo bad.. he could fix me in every single way

thesinklive

they hated me because i was right

5.6k notes

[fewsystemsinonebody]

we didn't know at first - usually it was "I feel like I am [alter's name]" but there were less of us so it was easier or we didn't know at all so either we assumed it's somebody new and could split more due to that so we started checking our inner voice but… too many of us had similar and even when our inner computer was trying to recognise us through that voice it was telling us Brandon is Brie, obviously it's sometimes easy to guess some of us as we move or sound differently but some are too similar, just fragments, new so we don't know much about them

Monty (our gatekeeper) made our inner computer work on questioning it:

"I am [name of an alter]" can be said ONLY by a specific alter that name belongs to, others will not be able to end the sentence with a name that is not theirs, still checking every single name from the list takes a long time so we prefer to switch usually if we don't know who we are unless it's necessary to know (trigger, frontstuck, showing specific trait/behavior we want to remember who it belongs to etc) but because we can switch on command now (thanks to integration we worked on and gatekeeper/bots/inner computer) we don't have problems usually

we are only blurry in the morning (bots kick others away leaving only one alter on the front tho), when we're very tired - usually in the evening/at night when it doesn't matter who's fronting anyway, when we fill in cards for others (so card owner comes closer to the front then) or during therapy when topic is way too stressful (rarely happens) but then we dissociate and switch to someone who we pick (who can cope with the situation or is close to the front) - still trigger switches happen obviously but we know them enough to be aware in most cases who is fronting now, overthinking and making masterposts can make us blurry too but barely ever so it probably has to take few days of analisis to start or we have to be in a very bad state already mentally or just exhausted in general

*edited by Nat

question 39: how do you figure out whos fronting? is it difficult or easy? do you have any specifuc tools or processes you use to do so?