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lambilegs · 2 days ago

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getting acquainted with the dildo: attempt #1

contains: sevika teaching reader how to suck the strap, dry humping (reader doing it on sev's thigh), friends with (resolved, thank god) tension, slight humiliation kink, a bit of a spit kink, teasing, inexperienced reader, implied age gap (both reader and sevika are adults), sevika calls reader "kiddo" teasingly, reader's body is referred to w/ the following terms: "pussy," "clit," "cunt"

when you tell sevika that you've never used a strap-on before, you nearly beg some higher force to let the ground swallow you whole. you two have been friends forever, but lately, it's undeniable that some sort of molten desire has been pooling at the center of what you have. maybe it was always there, and had just been in denial. but, it's undeniably present now, impossible to ignore, thick and heavy in the air, lining every interaction with a sort of hot lava.

and it's made confessions like this, ones filled with sexual secrecy and exposed desires, carry a lot more weight than they did prior. you're pretty much confiding in a woman who you're aching to have sex with about just how much experience she should and shouldn't expect of you. it's way more vulnerable, and it feels like you're spoiling her prematurely by peeling away sexual secrets that in a different circumstance, one with just regular dating, she would've discovered on her own in the context of wanting to have sex with you. but, doing it in a friendship, when you don't even know for sure what she feels, is more uncertain. it's farther away from the line of actual romance and desire, and therefore feels risker to admit. because if your inexperience deters her, maybe she'll easily dismiss and rid herself of any attraction she might've once harboured for you, since it'd be simpler to as just friends.

so, to say the least, you're scared when confessing this secret to her.

at least, that's until you see the way her lip curls up when, while laying on her couch, you confess that you're nervous about one day using the strap due to never having done it before. she seems equal parts intrigued and amused by the revelation. from where she sits, picking at one of the screws in her arm, she asks, tone low, steady, "well, do you feel ready?"

"I don't know." you stare up at the ceiling, for the thought of maintaining eye contact through this conversation is a bit too unnerving for your liking. "I mean, I'm sure everyone feels... not ready when they start using it, right?"

she shrugs. "maybe. to a degree. but, you don't need to push yourself if it really scares you." her voice has turned tentative, face absent of the initial mischief. with the way she angles herself away from you, it seems that she's somewhat uncomfortable with giving such earnest advice.

"thanks for the sex-ed," you laugh, trying to ease the mood some.

"well, considering I've actually worn the strap and you've barely touched it, you could use all the advice you can get."

you try not to visibly tense up at the casually tossed comment. you knew sevika has used a strap, of course you did. you've been at her apartment enough times to catch sight of her lube or dildos (because, yes she has several) scattered about. but, god, the idea of it taut on her pelvis, ready to be used to pump into you, has your thighs tightening.

"well, then, oh-wise-one, what would be your advice?"

she shrugs, avoiding your gaze for a few seconds before saying, "getting acquainted with it. with things like sucking, touching, you know."

"sucking?"

"yeah." the corner of her lip quirks up as she raises an eyebrow at you. "never done that either?"

you feel your face warm, feeling awfully pathetic under her pointed gaze, years of experience behind it. "no." you groan, swiping a hand across your face. "god, I'm gonna be so horrible at it when I first do it."

"then, practice."

you scoff. "with who?"

"by yourself?" she drawls, casting you an incredulous look as though she aims for you to question your own stupidity.

you huff, turning away. "I can't do it on my own, how will I know if I'm even doing it right?"

"then, I don't know," she sighs exasperatedly, lighting her cigar. "someone you trust, I guess. someone who wants their dick wet."

"the only person I know who wants to get their dick wet is you," you snap, a petulant part of you hoping you can embarrass her as much as she does with you.

her lips wrap around the tip of the cigar, that scar on the bottom one seeming to deepen. it's almost entrancing, hooking your eyes in and leaving you resistant to its power.

you only snap out of the spell when she says, "is that your way of asking for it to be me?"

the words have your lips parting before you can force them shut. what the fuck is that supposed to mean? you're well-aware of the tension that's been there between you two, of course you are. but, you never imagined that sevika would actually initiate anything. sure, she's flirted here and there, and you're convinced she's started purposely mentioning stopping at babette's for the sole purpose of making you jealous (after all, she always has such a shit-eating grin whenever you fidget or glare at her in response). but, still, it's never amounted to an actual offer, an actual step over the threshold between friendship and, well, something else.

you know it's the more responsible decision to say no, and shut this down before things get complicated. or at least until you clear up whatever it is you guys consider yourselves to be in relation to each other, and if it's something that carries as much emotion to her as it does to you.

but, part of you wants to give into the throb between your legs, the thick tension crackling in the air, the way her gaze is resting on you calmly, as though debating whether or not she should pounce. and god, you want her to, itching with curiosity as to what she'd say if you teased back.

and so, you do. "why, are you offering?"

you get a world of satisfaction from the way she coughs at the question, puffs of smoke blowing from her mouth as she roughly clears her throat. beneath it all, though, is a very apparent underbelly of nerves in your stomach, tingling in anticipation for her answer.

when she finally sets the stupid thing down, giving her lungs a well-deserved break, she says, "why, do you want me to?"

you grit your teeth, a spark of irritation set aflame from this back-and-forth. you wish she could treat you with the courage she does anyone else, just answering your question then sweeping you off your feet with no action required of you. but, no, she just has to be cautious, and hesitant, and sweet. today, of all times.

you sigh. you suppose it's on you to end this game. your chest is tight with anxiety, the words about to roll off your tongue heavy and filled with consequence. but, you push through, anyways. if you remain vague, she will too. if you say no, you may lose your chance with her for god knows how long. so, the only option is: "fine, yes."

immediately, regret weighs upon you, sinking down into your guts. you shift, eyes pointed down to your knees, trying not to panic, when a small huff meets your ears.

it's sevika. sevika chuckling.

your eyes tentatively raise up to her, nails digging into the plush of the cushioned seat you're on. her small, endearing gap flashes as she shakes her head slowly, her laughter sounding split between amused and incredulous, bordering on a scoff.

you feel nearly glued to your spot when her eyes finally rest upon you, the grey shine in them wrapping around you and pulling, pulling and pulling.

she leans back in her couch, spreading her legs out. "well, then, hop on, kiddo."

and that's how you wind up on her thigh, her arm wrapped around your torso as you fist at the fabric taut over her broad shoulders. her mechanic hand squeezes into the silicone balls of a dildo, eyes stuck on your lips as she traces the tip over them. your breaths are heaving with anticipation as she strokes the head along the inside plush of your lips, getting the bulb of it wet and slick with your spit. the experience is exhilarating, for you know she's capable of going harder than this, of fucking your throat raw. but, no, she wants to take her time with you, draw out every drop and dribble of pleasure for the both of you.

"who knew you had it in you?" she muses with a raspy laugh.

before you can even speak to protest, she slides the entire head in, capturing your voice and transforming it into a broken, wanton moan of surprise. her eyes practically gleam at that, and she slides the dildo out of your mouth's confines with a pop before sliding the tip back in. your lips latch on automatically, hugging around the head and letting it roll around the flat of your tongue. despite the sheer anxiety of having sevika's attentive eyes on you, the motions of her push-and-pull into your mouth is almost -- well, relaxing? the repetitiveness of it, the way it gives you something to direct all your five senses to as it lolls about in your mouth, your lips tightening and loosening -- it makes your brain feel softened, hazy, lost in this.

"ah, look at that," she coos, her tone hushed and sharpened with an edge of mockery. "sucking on that like that's all you're good for."

the playful degradation makes your clit fucking throb, and without meaning to, your hips automatically jerk forward, the firmness of her thigh making your eyes nearly roll back.

"oh, someone liked that," sevika mutters.

her thigh suddenly bucks up, sending you bouncing on her lap and nearly toppling over if not for her muscular arm steadying you. the pressure against your pussy makes you whine around the toy, your lips stretching open to release the noise only has her pushing it in deeper, nearly a quarter of it now sliding up and against your tongue.

"suck it in and out, just like that," she whispers, her eyes burning into your skin as she intently watches you. you try to follow her directions, but your sucks are too eager, too fast, and sevika reaches her hand up and gently grabs your jaw, coaxing it into fluid motions that has the dildo being softly pressed and released by your lips' grip, over and over and over again.

you know this is a horrible idea, a fact that only becomes more punctuated with every thrust of the toy into your mouth. you know you should've had some more self-control, and should've put a stop to this inane idea before it had manifested into a reality. but, no, you just had to think with your pussy, and now look where it's landed you? on your friend's, a good, loyal, helpful friend's, lap, practically rutting like you're in heat and sucking dick with zero technique.

"when that gets a bit too repetitive, you can lick it." she abruptly yanks the dildo from your mouth, and an embarrassing wad of spit stretches out with it, spilling thickly down your chin. your face is practically burning from the heat of humiliation, but sevika doesn't seem to mind, only smirking and saying, "now, I was gonna tell you you can get messy with it, but you're a step ahead."

now that your mouth is finally freed, at least you get to spit out, "you're such a dick," as though your pussy isn't practically leaking with arousal.

"oh, so you suck off any asshole, then?"

"maybe I will once you're done with this lesson," you haughtily snap back.

her eyes narrow at that, but she says nothing to it, smacking the tip lightly against your mouth. "open."

despite your snapping, and much to your annoyance, your mouth immediately goes slack, falling open for her.

"tongue out, now."

you obey, sticking it out.

she snorts, shifting in her seat as she raises the dick to you. "such a little sub."

you roll your eyes at her words, jerking when she grabs your jaw, forcing you to face her. "keep those eyes on me."

your pussy clenches down on nothing. god, you need her. not that you'd ever admit it -- the last thing she needs is another ego stroke.

"show me how you'd lick this."

giving you so much control causes your confidence, however little you had of it, to waver. you hesitate before tentatively stroking the flat of your tongue along the head, maintaining eye contact with her the entire time. a tiny burst of pride ripples through you when you see her eyes widen imperceptibly. it's barely there, but you know her well enough to know it wouldn't have happened unless, at the very least, a small part of her was surprised, or maybe even impressed.

the reaction eggs you on, and you do it again, running your tongue along the entire length of the dildo, using the tip to trace along the bulging veins. when that's done, you lap at the head, the flat of your tongue quickly moving along it in steady movements.

when sevika speaks, her jaw is clenched, and the deep breath she takes shudders. "good."

"yeah?" the clear effect you're having on her is most definitely getting to your head, and it makes you desirous to push and prod at her more. "am I being good?" you end the question with a kiss right to the tip.

almost as though sevika is tethered to the toy, she swallows hard at the sight. "yeah," she says, her voice firm. "you're doing good."

the praise has your hips bucking again, and you internally curse at the leverage you've so clearly given her, another wicked smile curling at her lips.

her thigh resumes its actions from before, pumping up to meet your clothed core as her arm grips your waist tightly, keeping you anchored as she encourages you to rub yourself on her. your body acts before your mind can catch up, hips pressing down so that your clit receives some friction through the layers of fabric. you hate to admit it, but sevika's muscled thigh is a perfect helper.

"you can flick your tongue on the tip, too," she says, her voice a lot rougher than it was a few minutes back. you derive some pleasure from it, for even if your resolve is loosening and waning in wake of her touch, at least hers seems to be too.

"how?" you ask, your voice an embarrassing pitch from the desperation accompanying the word. but, as soon as it slips from you, your mind conjures up a single image, and it drives you to ask, "can you show me?"

"you kidding me?"

"no." you bat your eyes, hoping it'll get her more susceptible.

"I'm gonna need a bit more convincing than some pretty eyes."

oh, well, never mind. you deflate physically, though something tickles your stomach at knowing she finds your eyes pretty.

"oh, c'mon, please, sevi," you say, tugging on her arm with a jutted bottom lip.

after a few moments of casting you a deadpan stare, she sighs, tentatively turning the dildo around and raising the head to her mouth. voice warm, so velvety, she murmurs, "like this."

you hold your breath as the tip of her tongue pokes out, flicking along the head of the toy, flapping over it fast and hard. she may not realize it, but she's giving you a crystal clear shot of exactly how she'd look devouring your clit. you pocket the mental image, already knowing you'll pull it out the next time you get off.

when you follow suit, lapping at the tip, your tongue's point making little zig-zag wags, sevika's hand tightens on your hip, and with just one pull, you're back to riding her thigh. the pleasure coursing through your pussy, deep and aching from the pressure, is making you lost in sensation. your eyes flutter close as your hole clenches and your clit swells up, sevika's muscular thigh hard and lovely.

meanwhile, she's easing the toy into your throat, laughing when you gag all over it, spit gushing from your mouth. she's relentless in her practice, just coaxing you to move faster on her thigh as you struggle to accommodate the dildo, pathetic whines tumbling from your mouth everytime she pushes it in and your throat seizes with a choke. it leaves you more sloppy, more wet, more nasty than you were before, saliva trailing down your chin and getting your neck cool and sticky.

sevika's hand slides up your waist, just barely grazing the side of your breast on the way up, before brushing a thumb against the corner of your mouth, wiping away the residue. the touch seems wholly intimate compared to the ones that preceded, especially when she uses the digit to encourage your mouth to open and take the dildo in again. she seems to be more cautious of your limits now, easing it only halfway in. your eyes flutter shut, sucking nonsensically at it, losing yourself to the rhythm as you jut against her thigh faster.

sevika's eyebrows furrow in as you speed up, her breathing laboured, and you nearly giggle around the toy at the evident impact you're having on her. but, that's not all there is to it, for her expression only has a series of more hot, tempting mental images bursting through your mind. her panting like that when thrusting into you, her eyebrows scrunching in concentration like that while she lavishes attention all over your soaked cunt.

the thought has you bouncing faster, and sevika growls. actually fucking growls. her hand abandons your face, opting to grip your ass tightly and drag you harder against her. your bud is practically weeping with desire now, desperate to have its wants sated as you grind down harder. the weight of the toy on your tongue, the way your mind is numbed from the bodily chaos of sucking, thrusting, clutching -- it sends you rolling close to your orgasm, just barely teetering on the edge of it.

what finally sends you hurdling past it is how sevika bites her lip when she pulls you forward again, her thigh pumping up and down to meet your thrusts. she looks so concentrated on you, her dark eyes hooded and intense, and the pure want on her face makes you feel so desired, so aroused at the idea of how many ways you can get that expression on her face again. that, paired with another aggressive press from her thigh, and a tight suck on the dildo, sends your body crashing with an orgasm, walls spasming as your thighs go taut. you writhe in her arm, nearly tipping all the way back if it weren't for her catching you and holding you close. your chest presses flush to hers as you tremble like a leaf, clit sopping and stinging in sensitivity as she continues pushing against it.

you whine in protest, slightly lifting your hips, and she immediately takes the hint, slowing her movements to a stop. all the while, you keep sucking on the dildo, the shape of it in your mouth, the way it offers you something to latch onto and ground yourself with, practically addictive.

sevika watches you carefully for a few moments before gently tugging it out, a string of saliva hooked between the head of it and your bottom lip.

you moan in surprise when shr leans in and runs her tongue along your chin, curling it right at your bottom lip, swallowing down the saliva all for herself.

"you're such a mess," she mumbles, sucking languidly at your chin.

"it's not my fault," you grunt, voice raspy from all the noises you made. now that the heat of the moment has worn off, the searing burn of embarrassment begins to imprint itself on you. god, you were so loud, so desperate, so--

"you looked good."

you lick your lips, some of the nerves calming. "yeah?"

"don't let it get to your head."

"that's true, I already had my fair share of head for today."

her eyebrow raises at you in a distinct lack of amusement. "you're lucky you're cute."

your stomach sizzles with oh-so-stupid butterflies. god, why does she have this much of an impact on you? and it's so effortless on her end too, which makes it all the more frustrating for you.

"you think I'm cute?" you ask, forcing your tone to sound teasing so she doesn't realize just how earnest you are.

when she falls silent for a few moments, you tense up, wondering if she can tell how serious you are.

"who's the one leaking through my favourite pants right now?"

or maybe not. face twisted into a cringe, you grip her shoulders to stumble into a standing position, her hand still loosely hanging by your waist. "on that note, I think I'll go wash up."

her fingers dig with a bit more pressure into your skin, and to your shock, she says, voice gruff, "not just yet. just sit for now."

you let her tug you back into her lap, your arms immediately winding around her neck. "what for?"

she shrugs. "just comfortable." her eyes finally lift to you, and it's like you could plummet to the ground with how swept over her steady gaze makes you feel.

"was it not you who just made made that stupid pants comme--"

"do I need to get the dildo again?"

you burst into laughter, eyes crinkling as you shake your head at her. "is that gonna be your go-to whenever I piss you off now?"

"amongst other possibilities." her fingertips ghost your waist, and you shiver.

other possibilities? you know it's not the smartest thing to dwell on -- after all, she might've just said casually with no serious intent. but, sill, your stomach warms from something you had been trying your best to avoid this entire interaction.

hope.

but, when she touches your waist like that, and seems to struggle to remove her hand from you as you walk away, you can't resist the little part of you of that whispers, maybe it's warranted.

but, you don't want to get ahead of yourself. so, you keep it at just a maybe.

#scheduled #s.writing #sevika x reader #sevika x you #sevika arcane #arcane x reader

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dunmeshistash · 2 days ago

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Do you know where the “mithrun is the most grizzed masculine elf take” comes from. All I think about is the changeling thing but no one calls Marcille the most masculine elf for being ripped as an orc compared to Tade. Or that he trains a lot, which is also not an inherent masculine thing. To me Mithrun doesn’t really look different to any other (male) elf we see. Is it from the extra’s or something?

Yes that take comes from the changeling transformations of both Mithrun and Senshi. The joke is the Senshi is the "most femme dwarf" and Mithrun the "most masc elf" in contrast with how they look in their original forms

I do think the joke kinda got out of control in the game of telephone that fandom is, instead of a fun observation of how we might perceive Mithrun more feminine than he is and Senshi more masculine than he is due to our own biases based on their races it got taken way too seriously as "the only true and correct interpretation"

I don't think Mithrun is especially masculine or feminine when it comes to his personality, I understand some people have been peeved by others making him maybe too meek/girly compared to canon but I feel like the response of making him way more aggressive/manly than canon is just as inaccurate and it's kinda upsetting when I see "fandom vs (my interpretation of canon) canon" as if they're any more right for going to the extreme opposite

We don't really know if Mithrun is specially "masculine" for an elf either, the only elf that we know is especially "masc" is Otta, and we only know cause her bio says even elves mistake her for a man (I think for most of us she looks as androgynous as the others)

Here's a post discussing elf gender presentation more in depth if you're interested in the subject but all we know is that Mithrun works out a lot and is very muscular (which signals 'manlyness' for us but might not for elves) there isn't much that point out to him being especially manly or especially feminine compared to other male elves. He also has lost most of his desires and doesn't express his preferences much so I think it's safe to assume he doesn't really pick how he presents himself (clothing and such).

Other than that and being stoic (is that a super manly trait?) Mithrun is pretty average I think. He's also still super cute even as a tallman (as if looking manly would stop you from being cute)

But another trait of him that seem to make people read him as "super manly" it's that sometimes Mithrun is scary and aggressive, I'm not even going into why that's bad (correlating aggressiveness with manliness is uh…. not great….) not even to mention he only acts that way when he's triggered by wanting to take revenge on the demon, otherwise he seems to avoid hurting others.

Related to the "Mithrun is a super manly elf" take I've even seen people argue that drawing him looking too "cute" and small is incorrect (probably just because of his tallman self) but that's how Kui draws him herself.

I don't understand why correct others for drawing him the same way his creator does, he's designed to look this way, there's nothing to "fix" about his original design either (nothing wrong with drawing him in a way that appeals to you more tho, fanart is fanart just don't harass other people)

Anyway just to stress the point that he is very average let's compare him to Lycion and Pattadol

The average height for elves is 155 for males and 150 for females Mithrun is 155cm, Lycion is 170cm and Pattadol is 160cm, they're both taller and have a sturdier looking builds than Mithrun

Kui often draws Pattadol specially with a sturdier build than Mithrun actually

So no he's not the most buff biggest elf ever in any sense (although he IS a muscular elf), and I don't think the changeling transformations are too objective since they're magic. For example Pattadol as a human is pretty average even tho she's big compared to other elves (not to mention Senshi half-foot who has a huge beard that half-foots don't seem to be able to grow)

#Mithrun #dungeon meshi #ask #dungeon meshi races #dunmeshi complaint #long post #longpost #elves #dunmeshi thoughts #Elf gender presentation makes me confused but yes the proof that Mithrun is manly is mostly his tallman transformation as far as I know #and people's biases about that #I think the argument that senshi is more feminine than other dwarves holds more water #since we actually get to see he acts different from other dwarves in general but especially male dwarves

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angelltheninth · 12 hours ago

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Arcane Characters That Are Big of Heart and Dumb of Ass

Pairing: Vi, Sevika, Vander, Jayce, Loris, Ambessa x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, dating, flirting, cuddles, kissing, sparing, muscles, protectiveness

A/N: This came to me today during my work break. I love himbos and whatever the female version of it is!

PURE OF HEART: She will do anything, put herself in any kind of danger to protect you. Vi is ready to get into a fight with anyone, stand up to anyone if they're bothering you. The bruises might be there after but she knows you'll help her get patched up. Depending on where the bruises are she might get some kisses.

DUMB OF ASS: Charges head first into any situation and that more often than not gets her hurt. One would think she learned to use hear head a bit more by now. And just in terms of headbutting her opponent. However she defends her attitude by saying that she's the muscle here, so you should let her take care of things her way.

PURE OF HEART: First of all she doesn't want anyone knowing she has a soft spot for you. She is very aggressive in her flirting both in public and in private but when you're up close, in her lap she will whisper sweet nothings into your ear. After which she will bite it. Don't blame her, she has an image to uphold.

DUMB OF ASS: Sevika has always been a badass in Zaun, but not for her brains. As respected as she is some also see her as a glorified bodyguard that's now dating her boss's cute secretary. She hears these rumors of course but they don't phase her when she's had a few shots of her favorite drink. Not her best moment.

PURE OF HEART: He is a family man to the bone. And he sees you as his wife even though you're not officially married yet. It won't stop him from grabbing you around the hips and pulling you into a kiss, his tongue tasting of tabaco and your favorite drink. Yes, your favorite, because he wants to taste good when he kisses you.

DUMB OF ASS: While Vander might be one of the de facto leaders in Zaun he's made his fair share of dumb choices. He's forgotten to lock up more than once, leading to the people thinking the bar open and he walked out in his underwear. What made it more embarrassing is that you were right behind him, wearing just his shirt.

PURE OF HEART: Everyone who met Jayce even once can see that he has a heart of gold. There isn't a challenge he won't try to take out, be it with brains or brawn. Knowing he's smart hasn't stopped you from visiting him a few times in the forge and appreciating the way the sweat rolls down his muscled body. He even flexes for you.

DUMB OF ASS: The amount of times he accidentally burned himself because he was too busy making out with you is astounding. He picks you up easily enough. But then backs up a bit too much, touching or stepping too close to the heat of the forge. Either that or he knocks important tools down when he places you on his table.

PURE OF HEART: No one's got your back like Loris has your back. He's is one of the most supportive boyfriends you could ask for, husband material really. Whenever he notices you're having a bad day he will beckon you over and scoop you into his big arms. You're not getting away from him or his cuddles until you feel better.

DUMB OF ASS: Among the Enforcers he has always been known as the muscle, and as more than a bit of drinker. But he also tells the best stories. He can be a little crude sometimes, flirting with you and forgetting there are other people in the room. The next morning everyone is smirking at him and he has no idea why.

PURE OF HEART: Ambessa will crush anyone who has anything bad to say about her, her family, or anyone in her army. Her strength is in her physique, strategy and loyalty of her people. But on occasion she can show her softer side, when it's just the two of you. It's one of her weaknesses, that cute smile of yours that she would do anything for.

DUMB OF ASS: One of her favorite ways to flirt, and have foreplay, is to spar with you. However that tends to attract more than a few eyes. She always acts insanely possessive over you in those moments, her head still in the fight but also getting in between you and her soldiers. it ends up looking a bit like a dance, much to everyone's amusement.

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fatliberation · 2 days ago

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Sorry for leaving this in your inbox, but I need to vent and ask for advice in a place where people won't mock me. What do you do when sex is super difficult because of your fat? I've recently gotten into my first relationship and. I thought I had a handle on my internalized fatphobia and self hate but this has made it worse than ever. We can't have satisfying penetrative sex (we've tried all the tips and workarounds. Nothing works. I'm larger than most of the FA community.), and recieving oral sex is also difficult for me. I also get tired and sweaty extremely quickly if I have to like hold up myself on mostly my arms or something, so he has to do most of the work. So sex is just. Mostly the one that works on repeat, and we don't have it very often because it isn't that fun for either of us, and it also makes me cry afterwards sometimes because of how disappointing it is & me beating myself up over it.

I'm genuinely worried my boyfriend is going to leave me for this. He's clearly very frustrated with the situation, even though he tries to be nice about it most of the time. Earlier today I tried to like be flirty and hint at stuff and he just. got a bit sad. and then said that clearly neither of us enjoy the sex we're having and that he has a lot of trouble staying hard.and that he doesn't see the point when we're both forcing it for no reason. I think he's going to break up with me soon. His ex is way lighter than me, so he's probably comparing the normal sex he had with her with whatever the fuck this abnormal shitshow is :/

All the work I've done on myself to be happy with being fat (including working up the courage to date, what a mistake that was lmao) is all gone. This has ruined my self-esteem so much. I feel like one of those fatphobic jokes but a person.

first and foremost, please try your best to remember this: your body is not the problem. one more time. your body is not the problem. I'm so very sorry you're concerned that your boyfriend would leave you over this. it sounds like he has a lot of preconceived ideas about how sex is supposed to go. I promise you that it doesn't have to be this way. if this is something that could really end the relationship, know that this person is not compatible or open to exploring your needs, rather than your needs being "too difficult." I promise it's him, not you. I know folks who are 600+ pounds who have excellent sex lives and partners who satisfy them and enjoy satisfying them. when someone starts treating your pleasure like a chore, that's just shitty. I know how much it hurts. it also does damage to your own openness to pleasure. when you're caught up in feeling like sex/your body is something that needs to be "fixed," nothing is going to feel sexy, because all that pressure puts stress on and takes you out of the mental state where you're able to experience pleasure. does that make sense? so many couples get stuck in this cycle.

there are so many ways to engage in pleasure without penetration or orgasm. there's a lot that goes into foreplay, setting a mood, making your partner feel appreciated and attractive. words and touch play a huge part in this. something as simple as exploring each other's bodies, not with the intention of reaching climax, but simply to be vulnerable and engage each others' senses. have your partner give you a massage. play with your hair. tickle your back with a feather. shower together. kiss you. compliment you. if either of you are into any kinks or dirty talk, that could be a great way to engage each other sexually without the pressure of "achieving" a goal. the goal here is just to feel good, close, and connected. societal messaging about sex has placed so much importance on orgasm instead of pleasure - when taking the time and space to relax and receive attention, is key.

feel free to check out my other posts on fat sex ed, there's lots of assistive toys that can make pleasure more accessible, but I think that should be a tool for later, since the biggest issue here is the pressure to perform. know that pleasurable sex can exist for you! but for now, I would recommend taking a break from sex altogether since it is not pleasurable for you right now. because pleasure is the whole point. forcing it is only going to feel worse. you do not owe it to your boyfriend, especially if it doesn't feel good and is taking an emotional toll. I hope you both are able to take a step back, reassess and communicate, and are able to reconnect and create a safe space to explore.

I understand why you're beating yourself up over this, I've been there too. but also know that it's just another societal standard that's been internalized (and it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is helping). like you said, you've done a lot to unlearn fatphobia. there's a lot of internalized beliefs we absorb from society surrounding sex, just like body image. I promise that there is nothing wrong with you. If your boyfriend takes his frustration out on you instead of making you feel safe to express your needs, then he's not a supportive partner. you deserve someone who takes delight in your pleasure and your body. believe me, we're out there.

#fat pleasure is fat liberation #fat sex ed #fat sexuality #fat liberation #inbox

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gamorahww · 1 day ago

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#I love that jonathan really got this about fiyero's character#fiyero may not be a scholar like elphaba but he is still a thinker and a philosopher#even while only college age he already has a life philosophy: 'life's more painless for the brainless' and all that jazz#but that says that in trying to be 'mindless and careless' fiyero is trying to pursue happiness he doesn't have#because well...if he didn't feel pain why would he be so determined to not invest himself in anything?#fiyero at his heart is a nihilist -- perhaps he puts on the mask of an optimistic nihilist but he's truly not one#because healthy optimistic nihilists also practice self-care by nurturing strong friendships#and by seeking to *create* a purpose for themselves since they believe they don't inherently have one#optimistic nihilists don't deny any unhappiness or discomfort they might feel or run away from it the way fiyero does#instead they own it and accept that it's just part of who they are#for a long time fiyero has contented himself with just 'skimming the surface' of life and enjoying things superficially#so that he doesn't have to become emotionally invested in anything and potentially open himself up to being hurt#but then he meets elphaba -- someone who by her own admission *does* care too much and knows full well it would be easier if she didn't#and she's emotionally intelligent enough to see right through him and see how unhappy he truly is#and just like fiyero didn't feel elphaba needed to act like galinda...well she doesn't think he should pretend either#and yeah that's pretty damn validating#as much as I love galinda and elphaba's relationship I love that this is so central to elphaba and fiyero's - @imagitory

"An organizational psychologist, Adam Grant, sent me a message saying, “It’s a masterful portrayal of superficiality masking depth.” Out of all the things I’ve heard, that is the thing I’m going to get printed on a T-shirt."

- Jonathan Bailey for W Magazine interviewed by Max Gao

#and you know what else is incredible about DTL? the fact that he is hoping this thinking will lead to a painless life #and in reality #when he ends up being Scarecrow he is in fact feeling no more pain #and that turns it into this “be carefuly what you wish for” song as well...

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seekerofthesightlessway · 2 days ago

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I keep thinking about Laila. I fear the worst for her. She should've been graduating high school and going to college, not this. Not scraping out a meager existence amongst the rubble and the corpses begging for change on the internet to buy food and medicine. I wish I still had my old blog so I could look at the conversations we had, I'm glad I got to know her. She was a sweetheart and very dear to me like a little sister. But I haven't heard from her in months. I would be worried sick whenever she went a day without messaging me, but she'd always be back the next day, telling me about the bombings and the blackouts. But the days turned into weeks turned into months and now I'm finally facing the fact that she might be gone. I feel like shit for not coming to that realization sooner. It's been a creeping thought in the back of my mind for a long time, but I've been denying it and making excuses that she might have lost her phone or her password or something. Sometimes I see the "recently active" light on her blog, but I see that on deactivated blogs sometimes too, who fucking knows with how shoddy tumblr's backend is. If anyone has heard from her, please let me know. Either way, not knowing for sure is hell. I can't even cry for her to mourn for her, I've just had a lump stuck in my throat on the verge of tears for days. But I can't abandon her. Even though she might be gone, her family might still be alive, and we still have an obligation to them. Her mother was pregnant and might have given birth already- can you imagine having to take care of a baby in Gaza? If you have anything at all to spare, even if it's only a dollar, please do. Laila's fundraiser has a higher percentage of it's goal met than some, but honestly, that doesn't really mean anything. Between border crossings becoming less common and the price of living skyrocketing, these campaigns become less of a fundraiser for a specific goal and more of a fund from which to withdraw money to pay for necessities, and the percentage of the goal met doesn't reflect the amount of money they actually have. I'd be surprised if they have even a thousand euros- and that's not as much as it sounds when diapers or loaves of bread can cost two hundred euros apiece. I don't know how to make a specific family stand out to catch the attention of tumblr users, and I don't even know if it's worth it to turn them and their misery into sideshow attractions stripped of their dignity for a hypothetical engagement gain. But if you're reading this, please do what you can to spread this fundraiser and donate to Laila's family. They still need us. Tagging for reach under the cut- lmk if you want to be removed

@pussyronin @britomartis @wotsukai @smoqueen @specialmouse @boobieteriat @pitbolshevik @hollowslantern @tamamita @apas-95 @paper-mario-wiki @marxism-transgenderism @sayruq @nabulsi @grox @omegaversereloaded @cryptotheism @komsomolka @11thsense @beetledrink @imlizy @b0tster @r0zeclawz @punkitt-is-here @3000s @feluka @dailyquests @afro-elf @nyancrimew @thatdiabolicalfeminist @neechees @berserkerjewel @catsgifsarefun @spaghettioverdose @deepspaceboytoy @rickybabyboy @ot3 @90-ghost @i-am-a-fish @vampiricvenus @tpwrtrmnky @tlirsgender @minmos @slimetony @sluttynurse @opencommunion @iregularlyevadetaxes @neptunerings @yekkes @tododeku-or-bust @hotvampireadjacent @dirhwangdaseul @meshugenist @bunniope @evillesbianvillain

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scoupsakakitty · 1 day ago

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Hi!! I have an idea for Jeonghan. You know The8's song Cold love. (It's my favorite).

The idea is this. The reader has a crush on him, even tho there in the same group (pls idol au), But he's cold, and distant to her/them.

It can be either a fluffy or angsty ending, with her leaving the group of them ending up together.

The reader can be Gn, or female I don't mind any.

I Love your writing, it brings me comfort 🫶

Cold Love | idol!Jeonghan x 14thmember!Reader | angst, fluff

The sun dipped behind the mountains, painting the sky in shades of orange and purple. The secluded cabin where Seventeen had gathered felt warm and lively, but to Y/N, it felt anything but.

She sat on the wooden deck, looking out at the calm lake that stretched before her. It was supposed to be a relaxing trip a short break before Jeonghan left for the military in a few months. Everyone had been excited about it, especially since they hadn’t had much downtime lately. But for Y/N, this trip had been nothing but painful.

She glanced back toward the large glass windows of the cabin. The rest of the group was inside, laughing and playing games, but her eyes were fixed on one person Jeonghan. He was sitting at the dining table, smiling at something Mingyu said. That smile was the reason she had fallen for him in the first place. It was soft, warm, and made her feel safe.

But lately, he hadn’t shown that side to her.

Not once.

Instead, he had been cold. Distant. Unkind.

Her chest tightened as she turned back toward the lake, hugging her knees. She wanted to believe there was a reason for his behavior some explanation that made sense but she was tired of waiting for answers.

“Y/N?”

She flinched at the sound of her name and quickly wiped at her eyes before turning to see Joshua approaching her.

“You okay?” he asked, crouching beside her.

“Yeah,” she lied.

Joshua raised an eyebrow. “Really? Because you’ve been out here for almost an hour, and you missed dinner.”

“I wasn’t hungry.”

“Not hungry, or avoiding someone?” Joshua’s voice was gentle, but his words hit her hard.

She didn’t answer.

“You know,” he said, sitting down next to her, “whatever’s going on between you and Jeonghan, you should talk to him about it. The tension’s so thick it’s making the rest of us uncomfortable.”

Y/N let out a humorless laugh. “There is no ‘me and Jeonghan.’ He made that very clear.”

Joshua hesitated before speaking again. “I don’t think that’s true.”

“Then why does he act like I don’t exist?” Her voice cracked.

Joshua frowned but didn’t push any further. Instead, he stood and offered her a hand. “Come inside. It’s getting cold.”

She took his hand and let him pull her up, but her heart sank as she caught Jeonghan’s gaze through the window. For just a moment, something flashed in his eyes worry? Pain? But then, just as quickly, his expression hardened, and he looked away.

————————————————————————————-

Dinner had ended, and the group gathered in the living room for games. Y/N sat quietly in the corner, barely paying attention as the others laughed and teased each other. She tried to join in, but her mind kept drifting back to Jeonghan.

It wasn’t fair. She had poured her heart out to him months ago, told him how she felt. And he had rejected her not with words, but with silence and distance.

It hurt more than she ever thought it could.

“Y/N, it’s your turn,” Seungkwan said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

She blinked. “What?”

“We’re playing charades. Your turn.”

“Oh… okay.”

She stood awkwardly, trying to focus, but the pressure of everyone’s eyes on her and Jeonghan sitting just across the room made her panic.

“I can’t. Sorry.” She quickly sat down again, her cheeks burning.

“Are you okay?” Seungkwan asked, concerned.

“I’m fine,” she said, but the tears threatening to spill told a different story.

Jeonghan shifted in his seat, his fists clenched. He wanted to say something to do something but he couldn’t. The management’s warning echoed in his head. No relationships. No scandals. If he stepped out of line, she could be kicked out of the group.

But seeing her like this, breaking apart because of him, was unbearable.

“Y/N.” His voice was sharp.

She froze, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Can I talk to you? Outside?”

The room fell silent, everyone’s eyes darting between the two of them.

“No,” Y/N snapped.

Jeonghan flinched. “Y/N—”

“No!” She stood up, her voice rising. “You don’t get to do this! You don’t get to ignore me, push me away, and then suddenly decide you want to talk when it’s convenient for you!”

The other members stared in shock as her voice cracked with emotion.

“Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me?” she cried. “You know how I feel, and you couldn’t even be kind to me. If you don’t like me, fine! But at least treat me like a human being!”

Jeonghan opened his mouth, but no words came out.

“Forget it,” Y/N said, her voice trembling. She turned and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.

————————————————————————————-

The night was quiet, but Jeonghan couldn’t sleep. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as her words replayed in his head.

You don’t get to do this.

Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me?

If you don’t like me, fine!

He sat up, running a hand through his hair. He couldn’t let her believe that. He couldn’t let her go to sleep thinking she wasn’t loved because she was. More than anything.

Before he could talk himself out of it, he left his room and walked to hers.

He hesitated at the door, hearing her muffled sobs. His heart shattered.

Knock. Knock.

“Y/N,” he said softly. “It’s me.”

There was no response.

“Please,” he whispered. “Let me in.”

After a long pause, the door opened.

Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked exhausted.

“What do you want?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I need to explain,” he said. “Please.”

She stepped aside, and he walked in, closing the door behind him.

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

“I don’t hate you,” Jeonghan finally said. “I never have.”

Y/N crossed her arms. “Then why?”

“Because I was scared.” His voice was raw. “The management they told me that if we got involved, they’d kick you out of the group. And I couldn’t risk that. Not for me, and not for you.”

Her eyes filled with fresh tears. “So instead, you decided to treat me like I didn’t matter?”

“I thought it would be easier,” he admitted. “I thought pushing you away would protect both of us. But all I’ve done is hurt you—and I hate myself for it.”

Y/N’s breath hitched.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said softly. “I always have.”

Before she could stop herself, she stepped forward and kissed him.

Jeonghan froze, shocked, but when she pulled away, embarrassed, he caught her hand.

“Wait.”

He cupped her face and kissed her deeply, pouring everything he felt into that one moment.

When they finally broke apart, he rested his forehead against hers.

“We’ll figure this out,” he said. “Together.”

Tears streamed down her face, but this time, they were happy tears.

“Okay,” she whispered.

————————————————————————————-

Y/N sat nervously in the practice room, her hands clenched into fists as she faced Seungcheol. He looked at her like she had just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.

“You want to what?” Seungcheol’s voice was sharp, but there was also concern in his eyes.

“I want to leave the group,” Y/N repeated, this time louder. Her voice still shook, but she forced herself to hold his gaze. “It’s the only way.”

“The only way for what?” he demanded, crossing his arms.

“For Jeonghan and me to be together,” she said softly, looking down.

Seungcheol froze. “…What?”

Y/N swallowed hard, feeling her chest tighten. “The management said if we get into a relationship, I’ll be kicked out of the group. Not him. Me.”

Seungcheol stared at her, completely silent for a moment. Then he burst out, “And you just accepted that?!”

“What else am I supposed to do, Seungcheol?” she snapped, her voice breaking. “Let them ruin his career? Let them destroy everything he’s worked for? I can’t do that to him!”

“And you think he’d be okay with you giving up your career instead?” he shot back. “Do you think Jeonghan would ever forgive himself if you left because of him?”

Y/N opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out.

Seungcheol ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “No. Absolutely not. You’re not leaving. We’re going to fix this.”

“How?”

“Simple,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “We’re going to the management, and we’re going to make it clear that this isn’t happening. You’re staying in Seventeen.”

———————————————————————————-

Y/N sat beside Seungcheol in the cold, sterile meeting room. Her palms were sweaty, and her heart pounded so loudly she was sure the managers could hear it.

Seungcheol, on the other hand, leaned back in his chair, completely unfazed.

“Let’s get straight to the point,” he said as soon as the managers sat down. “We need to talk about Y/N.”

One of the managers raised an eyebrow. “What about her?”

“This rule you’ve made,” Seungcheol said, his voice sharp. “The one where you’ll kick her out of the group if she dates Jeonghan. It’s ridiculous, and it’s not happening.”

The managers exchanged glances. “We’ve already discussed this with her.”

“And now you’re going to discuss it with me,” Seungcheol shot back. “You don’t get to ruin someone’s career because they fell in love.”

“This isn’t about punishment,” one manager said stiffly. “It’s about protecting the group’s reputation.”

“Reputation?” Seungcheol laughed bitterly. “What reputation? SEVENTEEN’s reputation isn’t built on scandals or dating bans. It’s built on talent, hard work, and loyalty. And you want to throw all of that away by forcing Y/N out?”

Another manager leaned forward. “This is standard in the industry—”

“I don’t care what’s standard,” Seungcheol interrupted. “This group isn’t like the others, and you know that. We’re a family. And you’re asking us to tear apart our family over something as human as love.”

“It’s a risk,” the manager argued.

“So what?” Seungcheol said, his voice rising. “Everything we do is a risk! Going on stage is a risk! Performing live is a risk! But we still do it because we believe in each other. And if you don’t believe in us if you don’t believe in Y/N and Jeonghan then maybe you’re the problem, not them.”

The room went silent.

Finally, one of the managers spoke, their tone colder than before. “If this relationship gets out to the public, there will be consequences. For both of them.”

Seungcheol’s jaw clenched. “Then we’ll handle it. But you’re not forcing her out of this group.”

The managers exchanged looks, clearly unhappy, but after a long pause, one of them sighed. “Fine. But it stays private. And if it ever becomes public, you all know what’s at stake.”

———————————————————————————-

Meanwhile—Dance Practice Room

Jeonghan wiped sweat from his forehead, looking around the room. Something felt… off.

“Where’s Y/N?” he asked, glancing at the others.

Joshua hesitated, then pulled him aside. “She’s with Seungcheol. At the company office.”

Jeonghan frowned. “Why?”

Joshua bit his lip. “…She’s asking to leave the group.”

Jeonghan froze. “What?”

“She said it’s because of you,” Joshua admitted softly. “Because of what the management said about you two.”

Jeonghan didn’t wait to hear more. He grabbed his jacket and bolted out of the practice room.

———————————————————————————-

Y/N and Seungcheol stepped out of the management’s office, the tension from their earlier discussion still lingering in the air. Y/N’s heart pounded, but this time, it wasn’t from fear. It was from relief.

It was over.

She could stay. She didn’t have to leave Seventeen. She and Jeonghan could be together as long as they kept it private.

But before she could fully process everything, Jeonghan’s voice echoed down the hallway.

“Y/N!”

She froze, her eyes widening as she turned to see him storming toward her.

His face was filled with panic and anger, and the moment he reached her, his voice was sharp. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Jeonghan—”

“You can’t leave the group!” he interrupted, his voice trembling. “Not because of me!”

Seungcheol raised his hands, trying to calm the situation. “I’ll give you two a moment,” he said, stepping back. He shot Y/N a reassuring look before walking away.

As soon as Seungcheol disappeared down the hall, Jeonghan turned back to Y/N, his eyes desperate.

“Why?” he demanded. “Why would you do this? Why would you throw away everything we’ve worked for?”

Y/N’s heart ached seeing the pain in his eyes. She reached out, but he stepped back, his fists clenched.

“Jeonghan, stop,” she said softly. “Listen to me.”

“How can I listen to you when you’re trying to leave?” His voice cracked, and for the first time, she saw the fear in his expression.

“I’m not leaving,” Y/N said quickly, grabbing his hands before he could pull away. “I’m staying.”

He froze. “What?”

She nodded, tears forming in her eyes. “Seungcheol and I talked to the management. We convinced them to let me stay. We can be together, but it has to be private.”

Jeonghan stared at her, completely stunned. “You’re serious?”

“Yes.”

Relief washed over his face, but it was quickly replaced by frustration. “You should have told me.”

“I didn’t want you to worry,” she said, her voice trembling. “I thought this was the only way to protect you.”

“Protect me?” Jeonghan stepped closer, his voice softer now. “Y/N, do you really think I’d be okay with you giving up your dream for me? Do you know how much that would’ve destroyed me?”

Tears slipped down her cheeks. “I didn’t know what else to do.”

Jeonghan reached out, gently cupping her face. “We’ll figure things out together. You don’t have to fight this alone anymore, okay?”

Y/N nodded, leaning into his touch. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. For everything. For how I treated you before. For making you feel like you weren’t important to me.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain again. I know why you did it.”

“But I shouldn’t have,” Jeonghan said firmly. “I should’ve trusted you. I should’ve fought for us from the start.”

Y/N opened her mouth to respond, but Jeonghan didn’t let her.

Instead, he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly.

“You’re not leaving me,” he whispered. “Not now. Not ever.”

Y/N melted into his embrace, finally allowing herself to breathe.

“Never,” she whispered back.

————————————————————————————

The group had gathered back at the cabin after practice. Y/N and Jeonghan sat together in the corner, their hands intertwined under the table where no one could see.

Seungcheol watched them from across the room and smiled to himself.

“Thanks, hyung,” Jeonghan said quietly when he caught Seungcheol’s gaze.

Seungcheol just shrugged. “You owe me.”

Jeonghan grinned. “I know.”

Y/N squeezed Jeonghan’s hand, and he turned to her, his expression softening.

They still had a long road ahead of them, but for the first time, they felt ready to face it. Together.

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inexplicifics · 12 hours ago

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Hi Inex, I was just wondering how far apart in age the de Roggeven girls are in age? They don’t seem too far, but they also don't really seem like they were all born over like 3 years, either. Also, we know Milena was too young and only learned the details of Jask being given as tribute in AWAU when he came back for the treaty signing, but what about her sisters? How much do they know about what went down? Did they know anything at the time? If they knew when it happened at the time (or in the year and a bit between him coming back to scandalize Tretogor), what were their opinions at the time?

There are two to three years between each, so Marta is five or six years older than Milena, with Marika in the middle. Marta and Marika were both at court when Jaskier was chosen as tribute. Marta's take was roughly "better him than me, and powerful men do often like being given tribute," while Marika's was "this seems unwise but I have no power to do anything about it."

#questions answered #accidental warlord au

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catboybiologist · 12 hours ago

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Wanted to ask about this for a while but you had asks off, you mentioned having experienced hetero(ish) relationships from "both sides", so like, do you have any interesting observations or perspectives you think most people don't know about?

Ah yes, the bisexual transgender eye. There's lots to say here, and I don't think much of it hasn't been said before. I don't think my observations are limited to what I'm rambling about here, but here's some surface level ones.

Btw, this is probably going to be my post with the most weirdly gendered thing of anything I've posted here. I hope its abundantly clear that I don't think any of this intrinsic or morally good, its just my observation on how heterosexuals act towards each other while dating. This isn't about the boxes men and women should be in, its about the boxes that society has put them in.

I think that dating apps are intensifying stereotypical "masculine" and "feminine" dating roles in heterosexual relationships. Eg, encouraging men to "take the intitiative", oftentimes enabling harassing behavior in the process. This, in turn, forces women to screen and shut down men extremely harshly. Except, because of the entire dynamic that's being set up now, this makes a lot of men think women are "playing the game", and again, enables harassment from them.

I recently deleted all my dating apps, but even before then, I had them set to women and enbies/other only for a long time. Her was my primary app, but it has a very small userbase where I live.

Irl, men absolutely take the initiative more than women, but less aggressively than online. There's a huge added element of fear because of the in person aspect, however, and when meeting up, men can be extremely pushy.

The "toxic girlboss" angle of this is that this is often fun to play with. If you're clearly communicating in a serious context, and have established systems of consent that extend to communication as well as the bedroom, playing with "the chase" is... intoxicating. Having a man wrapped around your finger is really fucking fun. It has to feel safe and fun for both parties involved, though. You need to be able to "break character" at any point and have direct conversations, either about boundaries or directly communicating a want or need.

Obviously I haven't publicly been a woman for very long, so my experience isn't vast and limitless or anything. But I've had a few wonderful romantic entanglements with men already. Luckily for me, one of these is ongoing 😘

As for some of the people I've talked to, but never gotten far with.... cishet men are really stupid. I'm sorry but like. Y'all are. There's a lot to be said about how society normalizes male incompetence in heterosexual relationships (eg, the dopey husband stereotype) but I think this also extends to the early stages of a relationship. Men very frequently bitch and moan about "games" while not realizing that they play just as many "games" themselves. Oftentimes, those games involve being overly pushy with everything, and then not communicating their own limits and what they want out of a situation, expecting women to figure it all out for them. Eg, they want to bring forward unlimited energy and pushiness, but expect women to be the ones that whittle them down to what they actually want. This applies both romantically and sexually. Men have a lot of emotional needs, of course, and yes its a problem that they're often not met. But a huge part of that is society discouraging them from openly communicating what they want.

I guess to summarize all of this, I feel like so much of modern dating is essentially a process of elimination, where men are constantly encouraged to push and say yes, and women are constantly encouraged to shut them down for their own safety, and if they're lucky, they eventually reach a healthy dynamic by sheer process of elimination. Which... really isn't fun, and leaves a lot of room open for frustration.

Queer relationships and flirting provide a lot of open communication that hetero dynamics don't. I've had the most luck in "heterosexual" dynamics with queer or queer adjacent people, and literally everyone I've ever gotten past the initial stages of "talking" with has been at least a little bi, by their own admission. It's not that straight men aren't interested in me, or that straight women weren't interested in me before, its just that these are the people who will understand my existence as a queer woman the best and communicate with me the most openly.

I probably could say more, but that's a summary, I guess. I know its weird and stereotypical, but unfortunately, heterosexual dating is pretty much the most gendered possible environment you could be in. I feel like Jane Goodall in there sometimes, but hey. Ya gotta do what you gotta do.

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windcarvedlyre · 2 days ago

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Thinking about DR1 chapter 1 again.

DR doesn't always have the best track record with women but god does it still do a lot well, especially in the first game. In the first chapter, where we still don't know what to expect in terms of character depth, I feel like Kodaka really takes advantage of that by having Maizono and Ikusaba seemingly play into misogynistic archetypes only to completely subvert them later.

Like, ah yes, here's the female deuteragonist that's starting to emotionally rely on the male protagonist despite seeming much more capable and self-driven than him*. Welp, there she goes being fridged for his manpain or something- hang on, she did what now? She was manipulating him to frame him and her dying message was partly made out of guilt?? Holy shit, where did her act end and her genuine desperation and fear begin??? Did she even know herself?????

And ah yes, an airheaded model character. There she goes doing something stupid and being killed for it; shame there wasn't more to h-FUCKING HELLO?????

They're some of the shortest-lived characters in the series but still have so much nuance to them, just like every other character in DR, if you put even a little effort into looking below the surface. And both of them feel designed to call out the player in targeted ways for reducing people to stereotypes.

*Not my actual opinion of their dynamic either to be clear! The entire series is about dissecting people more deeply than that, separating talent and various types of mental strength and humanising everyone equally. Naegi's the protagonist and Maizono snaps and dies first for a reason.

#forgive me if i'm retreading common ground here i'm not a maizonologist or mukurologist #but man.#danganronpa #dr analysis #sayaka maizono #mukuro ikusaba #maizono #ikusaba #.txt

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genshingorlsrevengeance · 8 hours ago

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I'm craving Honkai waifus, so...Silver Wolf, Stelle and Firefly snuggling or just doing soft things with their S/O after a busy day!

(H:SR) Silver Wolf, Stelle, March 7th, and Firefly relaxing with their S/O

Silver Wolf simply lays in her bed after a mission, not really in the mood to sit on the computer or anything else.

And unsurprisingly, pulls out her phone, dragging S/O with her to either use as a makeshift pillow, or lean against them.

Silver Wolf kicked off her shoes near her bed as S/O leaned against the bed, an arm wrapping around her while she scooted in closer.

Once situated, Silver Wolf exhales in relief seeing that she was in time to log in for her dailies.

(S/O) "...You sounded more concerned about getting that login streak than you were about the mission."

She scoffed, eagerly tapping the screen's prompts.

(Silver Wolf) "Getting the materials needed for this is a pain in the butt. I'll take whatever I can get for free, this game is grindy enough as it is."

S/O rolled their eyes but nevertheless smiled.

(S/O) "Things go well then?"

Silver Wolf shrugged, eyes shifting over to her S/O as her game was loading.

(Silver Wolf) "Yeah, pretty boring though. It was basically a 1-Star mission, at best."

S/O chuckled as she got more comfortable, quickly hearing the familiar tune of her game's menu.

(Silver Wolf) "Gonna do some singleplayer stuff for tonight."

S/O just nodded, understanding Silver Wolf's need to decompress and the two enjoyed a blissful silence. Apart from the...odd noises from her game.

(S/O) "...Silver Wolf is your character moaning?-"

(Silver Wolf) "Climbing a mountain."

(S/O) "And you gotta have that at full volume?"

(Silver Wolf) "Yup."

Stelle yawned loudly as she flopped onto her bed after finishing the rest of her room's renovations.

It was a long and arduous journey, but now she had a proper part of the Astral Express fully to call her own!

She had finished an impromptu celebration with the rest of the crew, understandably giving her some time alone to relax.

Though, she wasn't entirely alone. A fact made known when her S/O laid on the bed, one hand ruffling her hair.

(S/O) "I still can't believe you slept on a cardboard bed the entire time..."

Stelle didn't move her face, her voice sounding muffled on the mattress.

(Stelle) "WhydoyouthinkIalwayssleptwithyou?"

(S/O) "Is there anywhere you wouldn't sleep?"

Stelle raised her head and moved to say something, but nothing came out as a second of complete silence passed.

(S/O) "...Know what, don't answer that. Just c'mere already!"

Stelle gave S/O a cheeky grin and complied, laying her head on their chest and yawning loudly.

(Stelle) "Now I don't wanna leave this room for the next few days..."

(S/O) "Honestly? With the way this room's set up, we can probably spend the weekend here. Or even longer."

(Stelle) "Hm.~"

One of her arms snaked its way around S/O's waist, her expression becoming softer, yet somehow more mischievous at the same time.

(Stelle) "Well, you're spending the night here, right? I have an idea for something fun to do before we head to bed."

She suddenly sat upright, a gleam in her eyes scaring S/O, but not nearly as much as her next words did.

(Stelle) "Take your clothes off."

(S/O) "WHAT?!-"

...

(S/O) "...Is that bath boiling? And are those peppers?! What kind of bath soak is this?!"

(Stelle) "I wanted to see you use it first."

(S/O) "Oh, so you want me to burn alive?!"

(Shush's Voice) "No worries, Significant Other of the Nameless! It'll just give you a whole new pepper-spective on baths!"

(S/O) "GAH! W-WHY IS SHUSH JUST STANDING OUTSIDE?!"

(Stelle) "Oh for the love of- GET THE [BANAB] OUT OF HERE!"

(S/O) "...How did you make that noise?"

March 7th's arms stretch over her head, making a cute grunt as she fell onto her bed, exhaling in satisfaction.

(March 7th) "Man, what a day!"

(S/O) "March, we were only outside for a few hours."

(March 7th) "Yeah, but we tasted a LOT of food on the planet today! I could just go into a food coma right now..."

S/O just hummed at that, setting aside some leftover sweets on her table.

Following after her, S/O sat at March's side, one hand sliding over to hers.

Without even looking, she playfully squeezed their hand back and closed her eyes, making S/O smile.

(March 7th) "GUARD IS DOWN!-"

March 7th immediately pounced on S/O, suddenly dragging them down to the bed with her as they yelped in surprise before it quickly turned into laughter.

(S/O) "Hey, that's not fair!"

(March 7th) "Not my fault you weren't expecting it! You think I'd just let you sit down peacefully?"

Well, they couldn't exactly argue with that.

And catching them off guard again, she gave them a quick peck on the lips, both their cheeks flushing red, yet neither of them were bothered by the playful intimacy.

Quickly, the mood simmered into something a little more romantic, with the pecks turning into longer smooches, both of them still smiling the entire time as they cuddled onto the bed further.

Firefly finished changing into something a little more casual, that being a simple shirt with some shorts, pulling S/O's hoodie over her head to finish it off.

S/O meanwhile was already yawning, lying on the bed and smiling upon seeing their girlfriend.

(S/O) "You look super cute in that, Firefly."

Even after being in a relationship, little comments like that was enough to fluster her, Firefly instinctually pulling the bottom of the hoodie further down.

(Firefly) "Thank you..."

With a soft giggle, Firefly hopped onto bed with S/O. Despite the mission she had gotten back from, she wasn't particularly tired, due to her genetic enhancement.

Firefly let S/O hold her, comfortably just chatting about whatever came to mind.

It was moments like these Firefly treasured the most with how uncommon it was.

...Even if the conversation did lead to some odd places.

(S/O) "Hm...I'm hungry right now."

(Firefly) "I can make us something real quick if you want?"

(S/O) "Nah, I don't want you to cook...Oh, I can order pizza!...Hm."

(Firefly) "Having second thoughts?"

(S/O) "Do...you think you guys could get pizza for free if you answered the driver in your armor? They'd be pretty scared right?"

Firefly immediately turned her head, pouting as her hand immediately but lightly "chopped" S/O's head.

(Firefly) "S/O! Absolutely not, I will not abuse my powers like that!"

(S/O) "Hah! Sorry, sorry! It was a joke! Though, I do wonder has anyone tried getting delivery?"

(Firefly) "No, but we usually do takeout."

(S/O) "Takeout? How's that work, wouldn't you guys get recognized really easily?"

(Firefly) "Hm, not really. I'm the one to grab it since most people don't know that I'm Sam, though if we need the food to be hot, I sometimes equip my armor and fly home."

(S/O) "...Firefly, you could make a killing doing food delivery if you weren't a Stellaron Hunter!"

(Firefly) "Oh geez, now you're starting to sound like Caelus..."

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail headcanons #silver wolf x reader #stelle honkai star rail x reader #march 7th honkai star rail #firefly honkai star rail x reader #silver wolf honkai star rail #stelle honkai star rail #firefly honkai star rail #firefly hsr x reader #stelle hsr x reader #march 7th x reader #march 7th hsr

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mysoftboybensolo · 16 hours ago

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Things I Don't Understand of Audiences Reaction of Nosferatu 2024

Complaints of how this is a ripoff of Dracula, and I am like, of course it is! The original 1922 film is the most famous ripoff in the history of cinema, but it is also one of the best ripoffs ever. Maybe know your history just a bit.

Why are people saying that Ellen dying was stupid or unnecessary? Firstly, that has been the ending in the 1922 and the 1979 film, this wasn't just anything Eggers pulled from nowhere. Secondly, people don't seem to understand that the Gothic genre never not one that allows it's characters to walk away unscathed, whether it is physical damage or mental damage. Blood is demanded, and hardly a truly happy ending is found, at best a bittersweet ending or at worst an ending where everyone is unhappy. I think not only is it true to the films this one is based on, but also the only satisfying ending. Ellen wouldn't have been truly happy if she had survived, because she still will be a seer, she will still have darkness looming inside, and Thomas is either incapable or unwilling to accept it. He's belief that killing Orlok will bring a reset to everything, even bringing Ellen back to how she was before, but the Ellen she was before was still suffered. He brushes aside her nightmares without comfort, he doesn't take into account how she views their marriage (when she insists that she doesn't need material things but he acts as if he knows better), and when she tries to express her suffering, he would prefer her to suppress it. She would never be truly free, but to die doing a good thing, to have control over her death the way she didn't in life, it's an empowering end, if bittersweet.

People complaining about the pace of the film, saying it starts off fine but then drags in the middle? I think the film flowed wonderfully, there was never a moment when I was thinking how much longer to the end or felt it rushed in the story. I personally cannot wait until we get the extended version, but I am happy with how it came out.

Where are people getting "Orlok groomed Ellen" from? Grooming is when someone goes after a minor and gets them to be emotionally attached to them for a long period of time in order to achieve some sort of goal (often times sex). People have been saying Ellen was a "literal child", but we don't know that for certain. Yes, Ellen described herself as a child, but it seems that the term child is used more as a synonym of "inexperienced" or "young". Also, we are not sure how old any of these characters are. If we were to go by actors ages as guidelines, Lily-Rose Depp was 24 when filming this, and all we get in between the first scene to the present day is merely "years later". That can mean two years or ten, we cannot be sure. And while Lil-Rose Depp can look younger than her age, no one better try and say she was playing a 12 year old or whatever in that first scene, because there is no way you can convince me she is as young as that. Also, Ellen hadn't been emotionally attached to Orlok between the years to make it grooming. I can make a better argument of grooming in another famous Gothic movie the 2004 "Phantom of the Opera" then I could with "Nosferatu".

Listen, this movie won't be for everyone, that is fine, but what I have an issue with is saying people are dumb or evil for thinking Ellen x Orlok is interesting/has romantic elements to it. One person commented on another's post about saying that the cast are dumb for seeing this as a love triangle, especially Lily-Rose Depp for not seeing Ellen as a victim. The director, who also wrote it, wanted this version to play up the Death and the Maiden themes, that was their vision, and I don't think it's right or fair to say they are dumb because the original movie wasn't a love triangle. If we were to be really anal about it, so many pieces of media we have we wouldn't be able to enjoy because it's origins are not the same. Sorry Disney's Hunchback fans, you can't enjoy the happy ending because the original was a downer. Sorry Wicked fans, it's nothing like "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz", so it shouldn't be enjoyed. See how ridiculous it sounds? You can debate if whether or not they managed to achieve their goal, but you can't deny that was the intention and say people are dumb for picking up what they had intended.

I also feel that it's quite hypocritical of people to say that the relationship between Orlok and Ellen is evil and creepy, but then go off and say that the scenes where Friedrich has sex with Anna's corpse as "romantic" and Thomas' couch scene as "hot", when both deal with dubious/no consent at all. Just admit it, you are fine with dubious stuff so long as it's a hot guy doing it. The couch scene was quite uncomfortable for me, Ellen is clearly not in her right mind, even if not by some kind of possession, but emotionally, and it didn't sit right what Thomas did. I am not saying he raped her, but she wasn't in the right mind space to have this be a passionate moment. And he wasn't doing because of love or passion, he was doing it because he didn't like hearing Ellen say how he couldn't please her like the Count could. We had seen what they are like when they are in a good head space and the feeling mutual, as we saw in the den of the Harding's home. I feel like this scene wasn't meant to be a hot and sexy moment, but a incredibly distressing moment when two individuals are acting at their worst.

I don't understand how people feel that this film isn't a feminist film. I've seen people claim that the movie shames Ellen and that her not finding out how to stop Orlok is robbing her of her agency. Here's the thing, yes, many characters shame her for what she feels, but the narrative doesn't. As the audience, we feel sorry for her, feel bad for everything she is going through, and given the time period, of course there would be many people (mainly men) who will shame her passions or deny her darkness in favor for a more "womanly behavior". We are meant to see how the human world would never understand Ellen the way Orlok would understand her, why she would have called out a force that is inhuman, because humanity has turned her away. What's fascinating is that Ellen has control of Orlok, being able to call him, speak to him as an equal, and get him, a powerful centuries old being, to admit that she is his affliction, his weakness, and in the end, it's proven right. This mortal woman is able to defeat a supernatural being, all the while him loving her, how is that not awesome and feminist?

In regards to her finding the cure; true, in both the '22 and '79 film, Ellen figure out on her own what needs to be done to stop Orlok, but that doesn't mean '24 Ellen isn't smart or in charge of her own actions. We've seen Ellen say what the future holds multiple times, so it isn't crazy to believe that she would have seen what her fate would have been as it drew closer, and her need to talk to Von Franz read to me as her knowing the cure. When Ellen walks Von Franz to his home, she says that she knows what must be done, and they work together to make this happen, with him promising to keep Thomas away. Out of all the men, Von Franz had been the only one to take her feelings and thoughts seriously, and he does so here, including her in the plan (where Thomas had refused her to help), even giving her the chance to be stop Orlok without interruption. He isn't denying her agency, he's keeping others at bay so she can be the hero.

I like the moustache, just like a Romanian nobleman would have had, exactly what the director wanted. After leaving the theatre, my friend and I were discussing the film, and of course the design of Orlok was brought up, and she said "I liked it, especially the moustache, very Vlad the Impaler". She isn't a massive Dracula fan but she understood what was the inspiration behind it. Y'all are just uncultured swine.

In the end, I love this film, and wanted to just share my two cents.

#nosferatu #nosferatu 2024 #robert eggers #bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #lily rose depp #count orlok #ellen hutter #nicholas hoult #thomas hutter

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rei-ismyname · 1 day ago

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Teen Jean outs Bobby Drake pt 1

So... Marvel finally decided to confirm that Bobby Drake is gay in All-New X-Men vol 1. I'd forgotten it was a response of sorts to Bobby aggressively performing heterosexuality by objectifying Magik. Not that it makes Jean's behaviour any kind of model for being an ally, but it's easier to see how she arrived at this conversation. It wasn't just out of the blue.

It's clear he absolutely knows he's gay, but he's been closeted for years and I think his persona was built for self protection. A person's openness with their sexuality is entirely up to them (thank fuck telepaths aren't real) and the O5 had grown up in the 60s then suddenly were taken to 2014. Homophobia is still absolutely rampant, but the difference must have been stark. Bobby's parents are also super conservative assholes - given their attitude to him being a mutant he knows they would be awful if he came out to them. Xavier isn't exactly progressive either.

The ice barrier he puts up is him shutting the conversation down while holding back. I'd probably freeze her solid and flee. Interestingly he stops denying it very quickly (not like he had a fucking choice, JEAN) and brings up the headfuck that is his older self who 'isn't [gay.] It really is a unique situation.

I get the impression that Bobby's 'speculation' is spot on, it's obviously the same thought process he had. It's incredibly articulate and thoughtful, which should give an idea of just how much of a performance he has been putting on. Plenty of gay and queer folks date people you wouldn't 'expect' them to. Experimentation is how we figure ourselves out, and heteronormativity is a hell of a drug.

He accepts it pretty quickly, and they briefly discuss the cultural differences compared to their own time.

He accepts it super quickly and allows himself to think out loud about people he finds attractive. Warren, mainly. I don't believe him for a second that Warren is 'too pretty' as I'll discuss in part 2, but I have to say I misremembered the privacy aspect of this. Obviously Jean went to Charles Xavier school of psychic consent (literally) but she at least talks to him privately about this, and assures him 'it's no one's business until you say it is.'

She didn't so much out him as drag him kicking and screaming out of the closet, but she kept it between them and stuck to that. That, at least, is a positive model for supporting queer friends. There's a lot of trust there, and Jean outing Bobby isn't as bad as I remember it. Bobby certainly seems a LOT happier afterwards and while his exploration of his sexuality/dating is awkward as hell, that's true for everyone. I wonder if he's grateful to Jean for this. It feels weird to say it but he probably is. The flipside of telepathy existing is the misery someone who wasn't his friend could have inflicted. There's Xavier, too, who surely must have known, right? He doesn't know the meaning of privacy - what should he have done with this information? We know what he did in canon - nothing. It's such an odd situation that it's hard to judge but if someone in your care is closeted for decades then maybe you didn't provide the best environment.

Thus, the ice twink was born. Next time, Teen Jean and Teen Bobby talk to the Bobby of this time period. That's going to be awkward to write about. Ultimately, it does portray common queer experiences (albeit with telepathy and time travel involved) and emphatically normalises not being straight. It's not perfect, and it wasn't very groundbreaking for 2014, but it's something.

#x comics #all new x men #bobby drake #jean grey #gay #x men #charles xavier #marvel girl #iceman #marvel #comics

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mylifeisfruk4ever · 3 days ago

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ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAN IS...

Lois wasn't the party type. Oh, don't get her wrong, she didn't hate Christmas, nor did she lock herself away at home plotting to ruin the holidays for others.

Simply, unlike others, she didn't decorate her house as if her life depended on it, nor did she go to the shops looking for the perfect gift.

Why stress? After so much effort, either the gift will be recycled because it wasn't liked or it will be forgotten in a corner gathering dust.

That's why she didn't waste time on it.

Too bad it wasn't like this for everyone.

“Loiss!” Clark tackled her in the cafeteria, in his best impression of a golden retriever, puppy dog eyes that would make even the most hardened criminal feel remorseful.

If Lex Luthor was still a criminal in front of those big eyes, it really meant that he wasn't human.

“What is it, Smallville? Do you have to go out early again and want someone to cover for you with Perry?” she asked as she went to sit down. By now she'd lost count of the lies s told Perry to cover up Clark's absences - not that it did much good, since Perry always knew, but it was funny to see the face he made - but hey, it helped Superman do his hero stuff , it was her community service!

“No, nothing like that…just…it's two weeks until Christmas, and Bruce and I…”

“Put on a sexy Santa suit, with a sign on the underwear that says UNWRAP ME, and you'll make him happy,” she replied, with the most serious expression she could muster.

Clark blushed like a tomato, and his embarrassment was quite adorable. Hey, if you don't want to hear certain things, don't go to your ex and ask what your new partner would like to receive. Even though Lois was having a blast and it allowed her not to think about how the food at the Planet really sucked and made her want to become a vegetarian, much to her mother's delight.

“I-It's not about Bruce!” he stuttered, trying to fix his glasses before they fell off. “We're going to spend Christmas together this year, and I…I want to give his kids some presents.”

Ah, the joys of dating a single parent. The anxiety of wanting to impress your partner's children and hoping that no one is a meta with death ray powers. Even though there was very little that could hurt Superman.

Plus, Clark had the easy game: his boyfriend's kids knew who he was, and the oldest was a huge Superman fanboy. Really, he could give the kid one of his old signed t-shirt and it would make him happy.

“Well, with three kids…”

“Five,” he corrected her, and she nearly spat out the water she was drinking.

She blurted out, “Bruce Wayne adopted two more kids and no one knows about it?!”

#superbat #clark kent x bruce wayne #batfamily #kid fic #the batman #superman x batman #superbattinson #cute boys #lovers #batfam #batman family #batman fanfiction

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lesbiannnsstuff · 2 days ago

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i know what you want

warnings: alpha!shauna x alpha!reader, top!shauna x bottom!reader, afab reader, dub con, porn with plot, power dynamics, cunnilingus, fingering, biting, swearing

7k words

If life was a gamble, being born as an alpha would be considered winning the lottery. Physically submitting betas, easily attracting omegas with your scent, and commanding a room just by stepping in one, if so desired. It couldn't get better than that, really.

Even so, you were never one to get too cocky about it. Choosing to protect instead of attack. Just like when you used to fight to save your betas and omegas friends in middle school, against alphas bullies. You promised yourself your strength was a steady rock to rely on and not a pedestal from which you couldn't allow yourself to fall. You refused to lean into the overwhelmingly aggressive nature expected of you.

Some of your alpha friends thought it was nonsense, wasting your high rank, but every time some weaker leaned on you, it made it all worth it. And you were proud of that because the survival of the fittest didn’t mean standing above those with lower rank, but standing beside them and helping them thrive as well.

Your principles followed, you anywhere, and the same thing happened once you joined your school’s soccer team in your senior year.

“C'mon, girls! We need to score only one more to get to the nationals!” you yelled to your teammates as you saw how the numbers on the timer were getting closer to zero. It all happened so fast and before you knew it Jackie was heading the ball and scoring the much-needed point. You're going to the nationals.

The locker room felt like a party. Everyone was singing or laughing. You were the state champions, after all. Considering it had been long since Wiskayok High School had won a significant tournament, it was a big deal. And taking into consideration that the only other team in school was the boys from baseball, well, the responsibility was on your back after all. You were the last to get out of the locker room, closing your locker and throwing your bag over your shoulder.

“You’re still here,” you quickly turned towards that familiar voice, a little unsettled by the interruption of your thoughts.

“Shauna? I thought you went home with Jackie,” she glanced at you briefly, before walking to her locker.

“Forgot something,” she murmured, her voice low and smooth. You stood there momentarily before nodding, even though she didn’t look at you anymore, her gaze fixated on the notebook she grabbed from the locker, tucked in her bag.

Her movements are deliberate. No rush, she never rushed. Ironic for the fastest player you’ve ever met. She also didn't seem to feel pressured by your presence, completely unbothered by the idea of having to interact with you. But, again, you doubted Shauna felt pressured to do anything. You thought that maybe for being the only other alphas in the team, she would either befriend you or challenge you for dominance or influence. Still, she didn't seem compelled to do either, leaving to Jackie, her beta best friend, and you, the caring alpha, to lead the way as captain and co-captain.

But, in the end, Shauna always had this thing about her, this quiet confidence, moving calmly as if the world rotated around her. For her, it was unsettling, in a way, how composed she seemed all the time. Most girls thought that her apparent indifference and intimidating posture were all there was about her, but not you. You thought there was something so much more intense and wild about her, and you never knew what it was.

“You played well today. That assist? Perfect timing.” you began, filling the silence. She paused, glancing at you. Her brown eyes were deep and charged with something you couldn’t quite place like she was sizing you. Her gaze lingered a second too long before she looked away. “Thanks”

You couldn't fathom her cold answers, this is the first time in ages since you’ve been alone with her and you don't know exactly what but there's something about Shauna Shipman that is way too magnetic just to let her go like this. There's something about her that every time you brush shoulders, or when you catch her staring whenever you're changing after a game that makes you incredibly anxious. Like you're anticipating, waiting for something you don't know why. “Are you going to that party before nationals?” You leaned against your locker, watching her, trying to seem as unbothered as her.

Shauna sighed, almost imperceptibly. “Jackie didn't give me a choice.” She closed her locker ready to go. “Are you guys together?” You regretted your question the moment it came out of your mouth. Shauna's gaze sharpened in a matter of seconds.

“I don't think that's any of your business” The sharpness in her tone sent a jolt through you, leaving you breathless, her words cutting through the air like a knife. You knew you’d overstepped, but something about the way she looked at you now, ferocious, unflinching, and ardent with quiet fervor, made it impossible to regret the question entirely.

“Yeah, fair,” you replied, crossing your arms and forcing a casual shrug even as you could barely feel your knees.

Shauna didn’t move for a moment, her eyes boring into yours with a potency you never felt before. You hated the heavy silence but you didn’t dare to say anything, scared of how weak your voice would sound. Then, slowly, she stepped closer, her movements deliberate.

“You always ask questions you don’t want answers to?” she said finally, her glare locked onto you. Her voice is quieter now, but no less sharp. There was a challenge in her tone, a dare.

You felt the blow hitting you intensely. You hesitated, caught off guard, but you wouldn't let her see it, so you just scoffed, rolling your eyes in a weak attempt at nonchalance. “Maybe I just like to get to know my teammates.”

At that, Shauna let out a smooth, humorless chuckle that made your whole body buzz. “You want to understand me?” She asked seriously now, tone low and steady, each word weighing heavy on your ears. “You wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

You swallowed hard, your fingers tightening around the strap of your bag, trying to hold onto something. “Maybe I’d start with how you're always behind the scenes,” you said, the words spilling out before you could stop them. “So controlled... you never even tried to come up to me once. You never challenged me or tried to assert your dominance.”

Her eyes were unreadable, as she stepped even closer. She moved so confidently, every step more precise and sure than the last one. As if the space between you was hers to take. You didn’t realize your back hit the lockers.

“Dominance isn’t something you show off,” she murmured, her voice almost a whisper. “It’s something you make people feel.” Her words sank into you, pressing against your chest with unmeasurable force.

“Is that what Jackie feels?” You were trying to redirect the tension, to shift the focus off of yourself and let you breathe for even as long as a second, but the question only seemed to deepen the intensity in her gaze.

“Jackie?” Shauna repeated, her eyebrow shot up almost imperceptibly and her lips curving into the smallest hint of a smile that didn’t even reach her eyes. “Jackie’s safe with me. because I want her to be, that’s all there is to it.”

The message behind her words was impossible to miss. “So... people are only safe if you decide they should be?” you asked, slightly annoyed at her calm arrogance. She leaned in just slightly, her scent suddenly overwhelming with something unmistakably alpha. An aggressive scent that seemed to fill the entire room.

Her voice dropped to a near murmur. “Do you think anyone’s safe when I don’t want them to be?”

The words made your breath hitch, and for a moment, you couldn’t speak. Her eyes were too much but you couldn't dare to look away either. You forced yourself to say, though your voice was weaker than you wanted it to be. “Am I safe?”

Shauna chuckled again, brief and so low you could feel it vibrating on your chest. “You're an alpha too, you tell me,” she said, sizing you up, but something in her eyes made you realize she wasn't so impressed. You couldn't hold back how that pissed you off.

“You don’t have to be so intense all the time,” you spoke as steadily as you could, gathering all the fight you still had.

Shauna’s eyes narrowed, and she took another step closer, chests barely touching. “And you don’t have to act like you’re not affected by it,” she said, her tone final. And just like that, all the left fight was gone.

Your heart pounded, your throat dry as sand as you struggled to find a response, a witty comeback, or anything to close the gap between your positions. But before you could say anything, Shauna turned toward the door. Then she delivered her final blow.

“And by the way, I never tried to assert my dominance over you for a simple reason”

She stopped at the door, her head tilting slightly as she looked back at you. “Because the way you look at me… it’s submission enough.”

The door closed behind her, leaving you standing there, stunned and breathless. You let yourself slide to the floor. Her voice still echoed in your mind.

The way you look at me, it’s submission enough

You’re an alpha. Submission and you were like oil and water. Or, at least, they were supposed to be. Then why does Shauna seem so certain? And why you’re feeling so exposed like you've just been caught? Then it hit you.

You were not only intrigued by Shauna or her ways. You were drawn by it.

You were attracted to the same alpha characteristics that made her an alpha, just like you.

No, not like you. She was something else, something more. And, as much as you hated to admit it, you were being pulled to her because of it.

You saw Shauna at the party as you confidently sipped your drink. You couldn’t help but notice Randy chugging his beer in some sort of drinking game and dedicating it to her. You scoffed and she rolled her eyes. Like Shauna would be interested in him, yeah, sure, Randall.

“Look, I don't know if you realized, but this is a party. You should be having fun and not sizing up the competition” Van elbowed your torso playfully, and you turned to her wide-eyed. Were you so obvious? Could she possibly have noticed your disdain for Randy? Or, even worse, your attraction to Shauna?

"Randy? Please, like he even stands a chance with Shauna. She's way out of his league," you said, sipping your drink trying to seem nonchalant.

Van raised an eyebrow, her smile widening amused. “You know I wasn't talking about Shauna, right? But it was interesting that it was your conclusion. Interesting,” the redhead laughed loudly, looking at you like you just told her the best joke she’d ever heard.

“What the fuck were you even talking about?” You asked with a scowl trying to cover your embarrassment. “I meant the drinking game. Thought you’d take him on since you’re so good at it.” You almost lost Van's explanation as the girl couldn't stop laughing.

Van began to recompose herself, slapping your back as if to break the awkward tension. “Relax. I won't tell anyone that you dig alphas too” You thank Van, forcing a small smile, but your mind is already spinning.

Then the night took a turn.

It started with a heated argument between Shauna and Taissa, voices cutting through the music before the other girls joined in the mess. Jackie was trying to part the fight unsuccessfully. Shauna's scent had begun to make its presence in the air, the rich and smooth smell growing overwhelmingly. You observed how a few omegas nearby began to shrink back in discomfort.

Before you knew it, you were standing beside her. “Shauna, come here for a second,” you said firmly, your hand gripping hers as you led her toward a more empty corner.

Shauna didn’t resist, though her anger could still be seen coming out in waves, her sharp fangs threatening to make their appearance. Once you were far enough away from the chaos, you let go of her hand, she leaned against a tree, exhaling slowly.

“What the fuck was that?” You asked pissed off, clenching your fists in annoyance.

“Your savior complex is incredibly annoying, you know that right?” she said, her voice tight.

“Your scent was all over the place!” you replied, your voice heightening a couple of tones, standing a few feet away, arms crossed. “Some of the others couldn’t handle it. It was too much for them. They were scared”

Her eyes locked onto yours, stepping closer. “And what about you? Can you handle me?” she asked, her voice smooth, the challenge unmistakable.

You swallowed hard, refusing to step back. “You know I’m not like the others.”

Her lips curved into a slow, teasing smirk. “No, you’re not.” She took another step, grabbing your jacket and pulling you close enough now that her scent was all you could breathe in. Her gaze flicked to your lips, then back to your eyes.

Your pulse quickened loudly in your ears as you tried to hold your ground. “I didn’t bring you out here to fight,” you managed to say, though your voice was shakier than you intended.

“Are you sure that’s not what you want? Trying to be the alpha of the team, huh?” Shauna leaned in closer, her breath warm against your ear. "Or maybe," she murmured, her voice dropping dangerously, "you just wanted me all to yourself."

Your stomach flipped and you pushed her away. You felt like you were teetering on the edge of something you couldn’t name, and Shauna was right there, daring you to jump. You just didn’t know if she’d catch you or let you fall. "Don’t flatter yourself," you shot back, almost in a growl. Her smirk widened, her fingers still gripping your jacket.

"Oh, I don’t need to," she replied smoothly. "I can smell it on you."

"Don’t play games with me, Shipman," you warned, your voice sharper and steadier than you were feeling.

Her expression didn’t falter, but her eyes shone with something untamed, something that was enjoying the situation. Like she was amused to see you so worked up. Her eyes were predatory, like a beast who toys with its prey. "Who said I’m playing? You think you’re so above it all, don’t you?" Her tone was mocking. "Such a noble alpha. But deep down... you’re just like the rest of us. Driven by instinct. Waiting for a moment where you can bare your teeth.”

Shauna smiled. “But it's a tragedy though,” the alpha continued slowly. “Maybe you could go fucking crazy if it wasn’t for me. Because as long as I'm here you'll never be able to bite, only bark”

“You are drunk” you replied trying to prevent yourself from lashing out.

“And you are pretending” Shauna tilted her head. “Like you’re unshaken, my equal, a threat. You're acting tough, trying to press everyone else but I don't buy it for a second. I can see what you are.” Her smile widened in defiance.

“You better watch your mouth, Shipman.” Your scent became stronger, lingering in the air.

“A big puppy who likes to growl but wants to be tamed by someone who knows how” That was it. When you began to lunge towards Shauna. She bent her knees waiting for the impact.

“What the fuck is going on here?” A high-pitched voice stopped both of you. You both look at the same time to that familiar scent. “Jackie…”

“I thought you brought here for some air and not to fight,” Jackie said visibly annoyed and she walked towards you and pointed her finger to your chest. She was right. You lost your composure, you let your anger lead you instead of your thoughts.

“It was my fault,” Shauna said, fixing her hair. “I had way too much to drink and didn't think straight. They were actually trying to make me behave” She continued with a knowing smirk.

“It’s fine, just, let's get you out of here. We're almost past our curfew anyways” Jackie grabbed Shauna's hand and began to pull her out of there. “And, thank you, really, for earlier” Jackie turned to you momentarily. You only nodded back.

You clenched your jaw, watching Jackie pull her away. Running a hand through your hair you realize that Shauna had you exactly where she wanted you, and who knows what would happen if Jackie didn't get there in time. You were sure that there wouldn't be the last time Shauna would test or the last time you’d rise to meet her. You just didn’t know that the next time that would happen, Jackie would be there to stop here.

It's been months since you have been in the wilderness. If you knew that that party would be one of your last moments of normalcy, you'd enjoy it to the fullest, maybe even play against Randy in that disgusting drinking game until you passed out. Or, even talk more with Shauna. Even if just fighting like the last time. It's been such a long time since she had a proper conversation with someone. Taissa being the one gets closer to doing so. Although you can still notice her staring at you from across the room.

All of you just fell into this system. Everyone has their chores and works together to make survival minimally bearable. After Shauna lost Jackie and later the baby she became feral, disrupting the fragile society you have built together. You weren't at the house at the time hell broke loose. When you came back you only saw Lottie on the ground, beaten up and bloody. You yelled at Shauna that day, throwing insults at one another as the fine line connecting you both snapped. After that day you barely talked with each other anymore.

Over time, it fractured into two groups, those who followed Shauna, driven by her ruthless determination to survive at any cost, and those who sided with you, clinging to a semblance of empathy and humanity amidst the chaos. The divide was subtle at first, but it grew into something much more pronounced.

The girls made sure that you wouldn't be in the same room alone and your chorus were never in the same place or at the same time. The wilderness was dangerous enough as it was and none of you really needed two enraged suppressants-lacking bloodlust alphas growling at each other and stinking the forest with musky pheromones. And that worked. For weeks. Until it didn’t.

It was like any other day, boring and repetitive, as you finished your daily chores. After putting aside the makeshift cleaning tools you just wanted to allow yourself to be lazy for the day. Stretching your sore limbs.

“You're not in charge anymore”. That voice. After hearing the sound, you quickly went straight to the window trying to catch a glimpse of the commotion outside.

Shauna stood tall and imposing over Nat, smirking sinisterly at the omega. The blonde was shaking, clearly distressed by Shauna's overwhelming scent. You didn’t need to be a genius to know what was going on. Shauna was again threatening the group's fragile hierarchy. You were aware Shauna wasn’t happy with Natalie as the antler queen, but you didn't realize she’d question her authority in front of everybody.

“What the fuck is going on here?” you yelled, stomping out of the cabin, your voice cutting through the silence of the crowd.

“She’s weak,” Shauna said unbothered, her tone dripping with disdain. “She isn't a leader. You know that.”

Nat gave you a desperate glance, her bottom lip quivering. She wanted to say something but couldn’t defend herself in this situation.

“You’re out of line, Shauna,” you replied, stepping between them. “The wilderness had chosen because she earned it.”

“It was a mistake,” she replied matter-of-fact, crossing her arms.

“You aren't the one to decide it” You stepped in front of Nat, eyes boring into the challenging Shauna.

“Look around. I'm not the only one” She opened her arms confidently, inviting you to observe everyone's faces, and you realized that Shauna was right. All were staring at you with cold glares, demanding change, even those you thought would be against this pseudo-coup. Van, Taissa… God, even damn Travis Martinez. But you didn’t care, you may not be the most fervent wilderness worshipper, but if it decides their antler queen, you'd make your job to protect her.

“If you want to challenge her, you’ll have to go through me.” You growled, making sure to show your growing fangs.

“I’ll give you a chance to take that back.” Shauna scowled, releasing pheromones so heavy you felt like gravity doubled its force, but you didn't back down, releasing your own pheromones.

Murmurs spread through the group. Mari, standing beside Shauna, grinned like she’d been waiting for this moment.

“Why don’t we settle this the way alphas should?” Mari offered, her voice beaming with dark enthusiasm. “A fight. You and Shauna. The winner takes charge. Let’s see who really deserves to lead.”

You clenched your fists, your blood-boiling anger at Shauna for starting this mess, anger at the group for not saying anything about it, and anger at yourself for not being able to handle this situation any better. You didn’t want to give Shauna the satisfaction of a fight, but deep down, you knew this wasn’t any other way. The pack needed stability, and Shauna’s challenge threatened to tear down what little unity remained within you.

“Fine. Not in front of everyone. I don’t want anyone possibly hurt or overwhelmed”

Shauna’s smirk widened. “Of course not. We’ll take it to the forest. Just us.”

The sun had set, and the moon shone beautifully in the sky. “You don't have to do this for me,” Nat said as she cupped your cheek. “It's not only for you, Nat. The whole pack is in danger if Shauna actually takes over.” Nat smiled, closing her eyes and connecting your foreheads. “May the wilderness be with you”

Shauna cleared her throat, visibly annoyed. “It’s time,” she said, putting her knife on the belt. You had a small knife with you as well.

“The rules are simple. You'll walk to different points in the forest and will have to find the other. Whoever gets the other to submit wins. As the tradition says.” Mari said after clapping her hands to call everyone's attention.

“Remembering no one is supposed to get seriously hurt.” Taissa stepped up, her voice firm and commanding as she observed Mari's enthusiasm with narrowed eyes.

With one last look to the cabin, you and Shauna began to walk to the forest, on opposite sides. You knew things would never be the same after this, but whatever the consequences would be, you were prepared to face it.

The forest seemed quieter that noon like it was holding its breath in anticipation. Its oppressive silence pressed against your limbs like a suffocating weight. Your steps on the soil and dry leaves were the only sounds in the middle of that vast forest, but every crack of a twig underfoot was stifled by your racing heartbeat in your ears. It's been about ten minutes you haven’t heard of Shauna. You tried to steady your breathing, but the idea that Shauna could be watching you, lurking you, made it impossible as your skin crawled. At some point, you just wished she would appear at any moment to free you from this building anxiety making your knees shake.

Your sweaty palms clutched the hilt of the knife in your hand with great force, a solace in this ocean of uncertainty. The oppressive silence of the forest drove your senses heightened to the point of exhaustion. You were here because you wanted to protect everything at risk. The ones who didn’t agree with Shauna, the society you’ve built throughout the months, peace. But a question lingered insistently in the back of your mind: aren't you at risk as well?

You tried to steady your breathing, tried to cling to the reason that had brought you here, but that was hard to think about when you knew that Shauna was out there, somewhere.

The woods seemed endless, each tree seemingly the same as the last one, blending into the next in a maze. Suddenly, you hear the faint rustle of leaves behind you, you turn immediately, but you can’t see anything suspicious. No movement, no sound. Maybe this whole situation is driving you crazy, making your anxious brain play tricks on you.

Or that you thought.

“You don’t seem very well,” a low chuckle broke the silence, and your stomach dropped. You spun around, your eyes scanning the shadows. “Poor baby. Seems so scared” Shauna’s voice echoed through the woods mockingly.

Your grip tightened around the knife as you scanned your surroundings, forcing yourself to stand tall even though your legs felt like jelly. “Are you so scared you can't show yourself?” you yelled, trying so hard to sound firm, but still wavering slightly.

Another sinister chuckle broke, slightly closer this time. “No, it's just so much more fun watching you scared.”

Then, she appeared. Right behind you.

“I'm so sorry, I know it isn’t right to play with my food”. She whispered in your ear., making your skin crawl. Your legs felt glued to the ground. Her scent hit you like a freight train, unrailed. You wanted to look back, your instincts screamed at you to turn to her and use that knife you brought with you. But you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

“Look at you,” she murmured, her voice dripping with mockery as she buried her nose in the crook of your neck. “Trying so hard to look brave, but I can smell it on you, you know? The fear.” Her front pressed against your back firmly, and one hand on your waist pulled you closer, as the other slid down your thigh. “Your legs are shaking…” Your eyes widened in horror.

Move, move, move goddamnit.

In a moment of bravery, you elbowed her torso, and turned back, creating some distance between you. “I’m not afraid of you!” You pointed the knife at her threateningly, daring her to step closer. And she did.

“I bet you think you look so intimidating right now,” Her steps were firm against the leaves, creating a rhythmic sound as she stepped closer. “Stay where you are, Shipman!” You began to back away slowly, she smiled at your motions. “I bet you think you look so big and strong… but let me tell you something…” you kept moving back, trying to create some distance. “I'm not kidding!” your hand clutching the knife was trembling, you barely could stand your arm straight.

“The truth is, you look exactly what you are” Your back hit a tree, ceasing your steps. She stopped walking when the tip of your shaky knife rested on her stomach. “Like a cornered little rat.” In a hasty move, she grabbed your knife and threw it somewhere you couldn't bother looking. “Did you even know how to use that thing?” she asked, visibly amused, her smirk beaming in arrogance and someone else, something you were scared to find out.

“We don't have to do this, Shauna. We can just talk and solve this”. You offered, voice cracking midst sentence. She tilted her head, in a slow, deliberate motion, her smile widening as her fingers brushed against your cheek, feather-light.

“You know something that always intrigued me about you?” her fingers trailed from your cheek to your jawline, contouring your bone. “You always act so righteous, so put together and proud of not being like the other alphas,” her eyes burned into yours, a predatory gaze staring into your raw soul.

“But you're so attracted to the wild, to bare instinct… to primal rage” You swing yours first, targeting her face, but she was faster and pinned your wrist to the tree, squeezing it so hard it made you wince. “Is this why you like to put yourself in danger? Because you want this adrenaline, to hear your heart racing?” her fingers began to glaze on your side, Shauna seemed entranced by the movements of her own hand.

You took it as an opportunity to strike again, your knee moved into the direction of her torso, but once more Shauna was too fast, and defended herself. A hand grabbed your jaw forcefully, “I'm trying to go easy on you don't make regret on that” She let remnants of her alpha voice escape in that sentence. And you froze for what seemed like the 100th time that noon.

Menacing fangs made their presence as she pressed her body flush against yours, soft but firm flesh. Her lips ghosted against yours, close enough to make them tingle in anticipation. The hand on your jaw slid slowly to your nape and then your hair, pulling it roughly exposing your neck to her.

“Shauna…” your voice sounded so weak you almost didn't recognize it. Soft lips brushed on the surface of your throat, sharp teeth grazing it just slightly, enough to make you shiver. “Tell me,” She said, breathing hot on your skin, “What are you most afraid of? That I’m gonna hurt you? Or that you'll like it?” She kissed your skin, open-mouthed and warm. Too softly considering your current situation.

“What are you doing?” you mumbled, before letting out a gasp once you felt Shauna biting down. “Shh,” Shauna pressed her body even further on yours. “Just let me do this. I know you want it too” You let yourself melt, little by little. The alpha in front of you smirked against your jaw.

You weren’t about to give in without a fight. Once you felt Shauna lowering her guard you summoned every ounce of courage you had left, you twisted your body, wrenching your wrist free from her grip and pushing her shoulders. Shauna growled at your defiance but didn't back away. You swing your arm at her, punching as hard as you can. She dodged your strike and grabbed your arm mid-swing, using your momentum against you, she spun you around and slammed you into the ground.

With a grunt, you twisted beneath her, trying to buck her off, trying to shift her weight. But Shauna was too strong, too determined. When you tried to turn to your side in a failed attempt to spin her, she was the one to spin you around once more, landing you on your face this time. You swung your elbow, this time aiming for her side, but Shauna caught it way too easily, twisting it painfully and pressing it on your back. Before you could react, she had you helpless, her weight pressing against your back, her breath hot on your nape.

“You're still fighting,” Shauna muttered, voice covered with annoyance and amusement. “But I can see you're liking this… I've always known you liked this” She licked a long stripe on your neck. “You always looked at me with those big puppy eyes when you thought I didn’t see it” Her hips rolled forward, beginning to grind against the back of your thigh.

You froze. “Shauna, what the-”

“So composed” She interrupted you, breathing hot on your face. “Playing the knight in shiny armor, trying to hide how much you just wanted to be broken, tamed… devoured”

You felt your blood rushing to your cheeks and a way too familiar sensation on your clit, asking for something you didn’t want to acknowledge. “You’re so stubborn. But I like that about you. You wouldn’t be so fucking sexy if you weren’t” She wrapped her hand around your throat and used her thumb to turn your chin towards her, making you look at her.

Her other hand slid under your shirt, roaming down your side, her fingers grazing over your ribs. “Together, we would be unmatchable. Have you ever thought about that?” she murmured, her lips brushing against your temple. “We are stronger, more powerful, better… We shouldn’t take orders, we should give them. Like we were born to do” She gave a last bite of your earlobe before turning you to her completely.

She cleaned the remains of dirt from your cheek. “Think about it,” She began to lift her shirt, and your eyes widened, scanning her every move. “You by my side. Ruling together. No one would challenge us. Not Nat, not Lottie, not anyone”

“You want me as your slave with benefits?” You said, eyes still fixated on the soft and toned muscles of her abs. “I wouldn’t say, my slave, more like my right-hand man” She began to tug on the hem of your shirt, and when you thought she would lift it too, she used her other hand to rip it open. “But I wouldn't say you won't have benefits”

“Are you craz-” Shauna connected your mouths before you could finish your protest, she harshly bit down your bottom lip, making you groan. You tried to push her away by instinct, but she didn’t budge, only bit it harder. Trying to get away from the pain you swung a punch to her ribs. You thought she would be pissed off and would lash at you, but Shauna only pulled smiling sinisterly at you, with remains of your blood on her teeth. You couldn’t escape the shiver running down your spine.

“There it is…” She closed the distance between you again, but this time she truly kissed you. The kiss was feral, uncontrolled… Shauna. Her skin pressed against yours, enveloping you in this primal heat that made your skin tingle. Her tongue shoved in your mouth, you didn't have time to assimilate completely that wet sensation, when her thigh pressed between your legs, drawing a gasp from you. God, you hated how you pulsed under her touch.

Shauna slyly took her hand to toy with your bra clasp. Her bloody sleep traveled down to your jawline, biting it hard. Your hand shot up to grab her wrist, nails digging in as you tried to push her away. She winced, before chuckling darkly unclapsing your underwear anyway, before throwing it somewhere.

Your first reaction was to cover yourself, but she was fast. “Don't you dare” With a growl, she pinned your wrists down, nails digging into your forearm. Her gaze burned on your chest. You felt exposed, but with Shauna's like full weight in pressing you against the dirt, you couldn’t move. You just lay there, like a prey playing dead not to startled the predator. You couldn't stop yourself from sneakily rutting against Shauna's thigh pressed on you.

She looked hypnotized, in a trance as she moved closer and without any warning caught your nipple in her mouth. Shauna moaned on your chest, her soft plump lips sucking on it eagerly. Her tongue flicked at the bud inside her mouth. With a last bite on your nipple, she captured the other chest. You felt your body buzzing, your back arching towards against your command.

“Don’t move your hands” She let go of your wrist and moved her fingers to unzip your shorts. Her mouth began to liss its way down your body, until your lower stomach, where she licked and bit it. “Stop… Shauna…” You tried to push her shoulders, but she ignored you, pulling your shorts off you and spreading your legs wide.

“You're fucking insane…” You said it with gritted teeth, cheeks burning as you watched her gaze fixating on your panties. “And you're wet,” she said lowly, and as if to prove her point Shauna used her thumb to rub on your clothed pussy. She was right, you could feel the fabric sticking to your slippery, warm folds. A moan broke out before you could stop.

That seemed to turn something in Shauna's mind. Seeing you struggling, squirming under like a small rabbit trying to run from a big bad wolf. It was the hottest thing she'd ever seen. She leaned down, her breath hot against the soaked fabric, she pressed her nose on it, your smell driving her absolutely crazy.

She pushed your panties to the side and looked up at you, hungry eyes expecting you to say something, to fight her. “Tell me no, tell me to stop” Her mouth was so close now, hot kisses on your inner thigh, fangs gripping into your flesh, tonguing darting out and tasting your skin. No one ever looked at you like this before, you were supposed to be the hunter, the alpha. But now you were questioning everything, clenching and unclenching your hands over your stomach trying to say something.

But Shauna wasn't waiting.

Her tongue darted out, dragging a long, deliberate line along your folds. The shock of the sensation sent your hips jerking upward involuntarily, and she chuckled darkly, the vibration against your skin making you bite back a moan, you could feel her smile against you.

Her fingers gripped your thighs tightly, keeping you spread open for her as her mouth worked passionately. Each flick, nip, and slurp was messy but not careless. She knew how to break you, to draw out sounds you couldn't contain no matter how hard you tried. "You taste like you've been waiting for this," she said against you, her voice smug,

The sheer audacity of her words lit up a fire of indignation within you, and you reached down, grabbing a fistful of her hair to yank her back. But instead of being unmotivated, Shauna groaned, her eyes rolling back slightly as if the roughness only turned her on even more. She just dived into you with more passion. She was moaning, and groaning against you, like she tasting her last meal.

As if that wasn't enough for her, Shauna slid her finger in you, relishing in the way your gummy walls clenched around her. Her breath hitched. "That's it," she muttered, almost to herself, her voice raw. "You can fight all you want, but this…" she curled her finger inside you, hitting a spot that made you arch uncontrollably, "...this doesn't lie.”

Her nails were so purposefully deep on your thigh, scratching your skin. Every action was possessive, unrelenting as if she was claiming you with every touch. She adds another finger, her pace brutal and unforgiving. Her other hand pinned down your hips from fucking yourself against her hand like she selfishly wanted to be the one giving you pleasure. Her thumb found your clit, circling it with a precision that made your vision blurred.

Shauna leaned up, her face hovering just inches from yours, her breath hot and heavy. "Every time you look at me, every time you challenge me... I've wanted this. Wanted you.” The wilderness swallowed your sounds, Shauna and the trees being the only ones to hear your desperation, the pleasure the alpha was giving you. “Come on, bunny. Lost all the fight in you?”

Your teeth clenched, your body trembling in want. You're close, and Shauna knew that, and Shauna would take advantage of that. “I could keep you like this all night, edging you, leaving you…” you shot what you thought to be a threatening glare at her, but clearly it wasn’t threatening enough since it only caused Shauna’s smile.

"Say you're mine. Say you love this, that you love me fucking you like this." You shook your head, your pride clashing with the raw pleasure. "Never," you hissed, though your voice wavered. Shauna's grin turned sinister, and without warning, she withdrew her fingers from you, leaving you empty. “Oh, you will," she said, her tone dripping with dark amusement. "Because if you don't, I won't let you come."

Your jaw clenched, your body shaking with the effort of holding back. But Shauna wouldn't make it easy for you, her fingers still resting on you, rubbing you teasingly, driving you closer and closer to the edge without ever letting you fall completely. You could take just as much. Finally, the tension snapped. Your voice broke, and came out as a desperate moan. “Fine!" you yelled, "I want this, I want you!"

Shauna's laughter was satisfied, her fingers immediately entering back into you, her thumb circling your clit once more. "Good bunny," she purred, her voice dripping with victory. "Was that so hard?"

The intensity of her movements made your head spin, and she leaned down, her lips capturing yours in an intense kiss. "You're mine now,”. A cry tore from your throat, and a wave of ecstasy crashed over you.

Shauna didn't stop, drawing out every last tremor and drip from your body until you were a trembling mess beneath her. She leaned down, her lips brushing against your ear. "I told you, bunny... you were made to be mine.”

#🌑! full moon #shauna shipman #shauna shipman x reader #shauna shipman smut #alpha shauna shipman

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