#I don't quite know
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Hello? This is your mother. Are you there? Are you coming home? Hello, is anybody home?
Well, you don't know me. But I know you.
And I said, "Okay, who is this really?"
And the voice said, "This is the hand. The hand that takes."
When love is gone, there's always justice. When justice is gone, there's always force.
And when force is gone, there's always-
Mom.
So hold me, mom, in your long arms Hold me, mom, in your long arms In your automatic arms Your electronic arms So hold me, mom, in your long arms In your petrochemical arms
Your military arms O Superman - Laurie Anderson
#admiring flowers#this is a post about#well.#i don't quite know#maybe not having a mother. maybe wanting nothing more than to have one#someone who would hold you and say this is enough. you aren't hurting my baby any more than this#but i'm far too old to be wanting that. to be needing it so desperately#because it's not about a mother. not really.#i'm tired#the way laurie anderson says the (hi mom) bit just makes me feel like a 6 year old again. exhausted and scared#wanting nothing more than to crawl into a pair of arms and heal my wounds and to be safe. and loved. above all else#loved
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It's really fucked up when you treat characters like people and people like characters.
#this is about fandom but also just generally#I'm seeing a lot of this lately and I don't quite know how to talk about it yet#but man it's bumming me out
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"All those empty rooms
We could have been anywhere, anywhere else
Instead, I made a bed with apathy
My heart knew the weight
Ten years worth of dust and neglect
We made our peace with weariness and let it be..."
(Song: The Moon will Sing by the Crane Wives)
#scum villains self saving system#svsss#shen jiu#yue qingyuan#qijiu#hello children daddys come back from getting milk#I bring you dinner!! yaha!!!!#ai it took so long to make this because I kept not working on it aha... procrastinating yknow#but it's finished wow!!! please praise me woof woof#anyways this audio has completely run its course qwq so idk if this will annoy some people but#you cannot deny that a great deal of this song is quite in tune with them....#ahh... I love them so much... I still have another animation planned for them hahahaha!!!#BUT next up I am working on a tianlang jun animation so yall must wait for more qijiu snackies a little longer hehe#I'm excited to make tianyan!! xilang? sutian? xitian...? I still don't know what their name is.... tianxi? tiansu?#hehehehehehe Anyways thanks for sticking around!! hope this one will please yall!!!
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"Good" Acting
i have a theory that a lot of people say acting is "good" when they're emotionally moved by it, and a lot of cishet white people have a lifelong habit of not listening or empathising when minoritised people speak, so minority actors get called "bad" even when they display some pretty fucking amazing technical skill
#also a lot of female actors don't get recognised despite being fucking GOOD#that's not to say minority actors can't always be bad#of course we can#I'm just saying#sometimes#for SOME shows in particular#ahem ahem#some actors might get very heavily criticised for reasons that have very little to do with their actual technical skill#and more to do with the politics of those criticising them#also I'm not talking about me here#before anyone says that#I'm talking about some actors I know who have recently been criticised in my opinion quite unfairly#despite doing something very difficult#like oooohhh i dunno#playing two roles in the same show?#and doing it very well#displaying some amazing technical mastery of body and voice technique#but hey what do I know#oh wait I went to drama school and I'm a professional actor lol I DO know#I'm just a woman so I have to couch my expertise in cutesy self-deprecation lest people think I'm a bitch
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No idea if tumblr will nuke me for this one but hey ✌️I made a new twitter account for my NS/FW art, since I'd love to make more of it, if anyone is interested: [x]
#cod#ghostsoap#ghoap#soapghost#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#my art#I don't know if I should be posting this one here but hey here you go#I'm quite proud of it though teehee#I also posted more ns/fw on the twitter account already#it's good anatomy practice AND I don't have to draw tactical gear#perfect#call of duty
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STAR WARS WEEK 2024 DAY 5: DON'T MAKE ME NICKNAME YOU - FAVOURITE NAMES/NICKNAMES
The different ways Obi-Wan referred to and addressed Anakin through the years.
#sww24#swsource#swedit#starwarsedit#star wars#obi wan kenobi#obiwankenobiedit#anakin skywalker#anakinskywalkeredit#anakin & obi wan#aniobiedit#userlumi#starwarsblr#*mine#*2024#*gifs#1k#obi wan every time he's not addressing anakin by name in aotc: YOUNG#don't know if it quite fits actually but I had the idea and I miss them :(#also had another idea but I didn't want to make another 4k complex colourful blended set lol
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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Rellana, Twin Moon Knight & Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon
prints ✦ full process on patreon
#elden ring#rennala#rellana#my art#shadow of the erdtree#ngl i don't share fandom's obsession with Rellana and find her character quite lacking#I wish we knew something more about her other than “hehe messmer simp”#bc yes rennalas marriage is a big part of her story but we also know a lot about her in other contexts and before the liurnian wars#which makes her much more interesting to me#bc idk im just not a fan of when in media the whole plot arch of a woman's story resolves around her relationship with a man#and i feel like with other women characters fromsoft did a better job at showing that they are human beings with different agendas etc#so when it comes to Rellana i love the POTENTIAL of what she could be
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a Guy
need to do some testing to see if this guy is food-safe or not, because some of the clear glaze was applied a little thin, so there's a rough (but not pinhole) texture in some spots. but I may just mark him as not food-safe just to be safe. he can protect your trinkets instead
#ceramistakes#ceramics#pufferfish#I get that rough texture quite often on rims and I don't know how to fix it#because adding more glaze to those rim areas hasn't worked
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sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
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Finally got back to my computer for the first time in weeks and i couldn't even finish my warmups before i got distracted and drew myself as a fairy. which could mean nothing.
#my stuff#this isn't quite cora but it isn't quite not cora so i don't know if i should put this in her tag or not#anyway i should draw fairies on purpose soon. rather than on accident. so they can be doing things
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#catherine tate#hi friends... it's been a week since i made gifs... AGAIN#thought it was time to remake this#also i should watch that panel that david and catherine did together that i keep seeing on my dash#my first week of summer break has been quite busy#but i've been mostly hanging out on my couch reading when i'm at home#and it's so hot here today... i hate it#i don't know if i'll be able to sleep well ;__;#i have also been influenced by the booktok and bookstagram people#and i bought a page turner for my kindle and bro.......#best purchase of my life#it's only been a few hours of me using it but i love it lmaooo#i also got the new dw books with fifteen and ruby and i am excited to read them#ok anyways hope you've all been well!!!
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What do you fear my lady?
#lotredit#lotr#tolkienedit#tolkien#tt#two towers#the lord of the rings#lord of the rings#aragorn x eowyn#aragorn#eowyn#our gifs#elise#i quite like capturing all the sequences which is why the gifsets are so long#hope no one minds...#ttedit#don't know what happened to the quality but oh well :(
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this user has gone 0 days without thinking about good omens. the record is 0 days
#fearandhatred#quite Sickening.....#how i know my hyperfixations are dying down is if i don't think about them for a whole day lmfao#good omens#crowley#aziraphale
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Danse Macabre
[Commission]
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#marcille donato#winged lion#better drawn mdzs#<- art tag I really need to change.#Turns out the secret to drawing better was having someone offer you money to draw.#I jest. I just had a blast with this prompt and I seriously appreciate the commissioner for letting me have the chance to push myself.#And for giving me permission to post! Hi! If you're seeing this: thank you again!#Let me be clear: no I don't quite know where this came from. It just happened. My chakras unblocked for a few hours.#You too can unblock my chakras with money and commission me to draw cool art B*)#We are so far off from when this is relevant so this one is really just for the manga readers. *****Spoiler notes ahead:#So...As someone who read dungeon meshi monthly for many years....I admit to not seeing Marcille becoming the dungeon lord coming#Hilarious too; re-reading and watching the show made me realize that this outcome is pretty strongly foreshadowed.#Ryoko Kui distracts you by putting the focus on Laios being the 'one to break the curse' but nope!#This was the culmination of her goals and desires.#And - for those who did not have to suffer as us monthly readers did:#YES. WE NEARLY ALL THOUGHT THAT MARCILLE HAD TO DIE.#The last 20 or so chapters were a constant spiral of: 'Oh this story isn't going to have a happy ending is it?'#She just keeps losing herself! The winged lion plays her like a puppet and she is his perfect doll! So full of conviction!
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